MORE THAN A SURVIVOR... SHE'S A THRIVER

A N I N T E R V I E W W I T H NIKI HARDY

Who is Niki Hardy?

Wow, great question. Let me think for a moment... I'm a pastor's wife, mum, Brit in the USA, cancer "thriver", author, speaker, fresh air junkie, and teller of terrible jokes who comes alive under big skies and mountain views.

'I learned the truth that when we stop waiting we discover life doesn 't have to be pain free to be full. "

2. What has caused you to hold on to God and trust in Him the way you do today?

Holding on to God isn't something I find naturally easy. As a make-it-happen kind of woman my default position is to figure stuff out myself and then ask God to come alongside me as I do my thing. But that didn't work when I was diagnosed with cancer hot on the heals of losing both my mum and sister to the disease. I set off on my cancer journey determined to survive but eventually, that's all I was doing, merely surviving. I had no choice but to let go of all I was holding onto and trusting in to hold onto God for dear life. It strengthened my grip for sure and now one of my favorite prayers is "Lord, I trust. Help my lack of trust" because I want to trust him, I need to trust him, and I plan to trust him, but so often I find myself trusting myself more than God all over again. Trust is a muscle we need to work out and build everyday

3. How did the whole experience of cancer really change you and your faith walk?

Cancer made me realize that suffering isn't just hard emotionally and physically but it's hard spiritually as well because any kind of pain affects our relationship with God.

Suffering is just painful, it's personal.

When we see others suffer, a still birth, children with cancer, famine, trafficking, addiction - suffering that's out there – we ask. But when it's us suffering, when we're the one whose husband's walked out or it's our scan that shows the cancer's back, our question becomes, what kind of God are you that you're letting me suffer?

Our personal suffering is just that, personal, and it affects our personal relationship with our relational God.

I remember pulling over and taking the call that my tumor was cancer. I screamed, What the heck?

I thought you were good? What's happening? After all I've done for you? It felt so personal.

I felt let down, unseen, unloved, forgotten, and left behind. Like my faith wasn't strong enough to ward this off.

Eventually I found myself I asking the two questions we all end up asking one way or another when we're struggling:

1. God, what do you have to say to ME in MY pain? 2. What am I meant to DO?

I discovered the answer to these two questions the same. It's simply STOP WAITING.

I didn't even realize I was waiting but I was.

As soon as life got hard I hid away, dug in for the long haul, denied how hard it was, soldiered on and put life on hold.

We all do it. We wait for the storm to pass, the waters to stop raging, and life to return to normal, determined to survive and make it through.It's the same no matter what we're battling.

I found myself saying, "If I can just... get through this chemo, finish radiation, get out of surgery. I waited." Eventually I realized that's not the gospel message!! That's not the good news.

.Jesus didn't say I have come that you might have life and life in all its fullness, buuuutttt... you're going to have to ride out this storm and simply survive and get through until life gets easier. Then you'll find it.

I learned the truth that when we stop waiting we discover life doesn't have to be pain free to be full.

4. What major lessons from your experience can you share?

Once I'd realized that God's abundant full life wasn't off in future somewhere but mixed in the middle of all the hardship and disappointment I was wading through, I set off to discover how to thrive, not just survive, my cancer. I asked people who seemed to epitomize this Thriver mentality how they lived life to the full despite the terrible things they had to deal with and they pretty much all said the same things. It was so powerful that I ended up writing my Breathe Again: How to Live Well When Life Falls Apart, and laying out these practices or tools these people shared.

The key thing I learned and share is this message that life doesn't have to be pain free to be full. Our world tells us a full and abundant life is glossy, healthy, wealthy, and wonderful but Jesus never said that just like He never said we'd have to wait for it. An abundant life is a life of hope, intimacy with God and others, peace, joy, strength, comfort and even laughter, no matter life's chucked at you and we play a part in grabbing it and living it. It's a gift from Jesus, but we need to receive it and open it.

5. How can you advise other women or men who may be experiencing any sickness at this time?

If you're struggling right now whether through sickness, heartache, loss, financial struggles or anything else that leaves us feeling like we're barely surviving, I want to encourage you that God isn't mad at you, He hasn't abandoned you, and He isn't holding out on you. He loves you deeply and has so much for you. Don't stop praying but equally, stop waiting for life to get better to live your life.

6. Tell us about your upcoming event.

The Trusting God Through Cancer Summit. It's a free online event I'm hosting in October with over twenty international speakers over four days, all coming together to help strengthen and equip those whose lives and faith have been shaken by cancer. You'll get down to earth, practical, biblical tools and encouragement to teach people how to conquer fear, rebuild their trust in God, and thrive, not just survive their diagnosis, with strength, hope, peace and laughter, no matter what. It's designed for those diagnosed with cancer but anyone who's going through a hard season and needs some encouragement and practical teaching will get loads out of it.