HEALTH & WELLNESS
CATCHING
MY BEAUTY IDOL AND FINDING MY PURPOSE By Heather Creekmore
Entering the Chinese restaurant at the local strip mall scared me as a child. There were colorful plaster cats and shiny gold statues of a fat, bald guy plastered all over the entrance. I walked by them quickly, trying not to look. I knew the Ten Commandments. I remembered how mad God got when people worshipped images. I’d never be an idolator.
They did not.
Or, so I thought.
Beauty was not just my burden, beauty was my idol. I knew if I could ever reach my beauty goals—I would be happy. I’d find love. I’d find meaning. I didn't set out to make beauty an idol. Her majesty usurped the throne without spelling out revealing she planned a coup. Like a spider inviting me into a web, she beckoned me, "Become more beautiful, and find all that you desire. . ."
As I battled negative body image through my teens and twenties, my Christian faith never seemed to have good answers for my struggle. Sometimes women told me I was being silly to worry about my appearance. Many looked as if they didn't own a mirror, and I found them difficult to respect. Their position seemed rather extreme. Other women chanted clichés like, "It's what's on the inside that counts." But, as I watched them race each other to the gym, try every fad diet, and chat about who had "put on weight" I questioned the integrity of their message. If only the contents of the package matter, then why did they put so much time and effort into the wrapping? Pep talks designed to motivate awkward teens or moms feeling frumpy touted, "You are enough! You are fearfully and wonderfully made." I liked the affirmation that I was okay. Surely they would help me overcome the barrage of thoughts about my worthlessness.
In fact, each of the pat answers Christian women gave me to help my body image fell flat. Like a dab of concealer on a huge pimple, they could mask the problem a little—but they could not make it go away. And, now I know why.
I believed her. I made her the top resolution on my list each December 31. I gave her priority billing on my daily and weekly calendars. I supported her financially, contributing regularly at my local mall, beauty salon, nail salon, and of course, through my monthly gym membership. I read magazines and watched shows that showed me how wonderful my life would be once I made her mine. Beauty would save me. If only I could catch her.
DIVINE PURPOSE MAGAZINE |32
