How To Sext Like A Sex Writer
By: Ashley Uzer
If there’s one thing that’s become apparent to me during quarantine, it isn’t the number of dishes that pile up or how non-ergonomic my desk set-up is, it’s how difficult it is to find someone who can keep up with my sexting. I’ve always loved sexting, before the term “sexting” was even a thing. When I was about 14 or so, I would “tell stories” to guys in my classes via text message on my flip phone— basically writing teeny-bopper literotica. Half the time they weren’t even guys I was interested in sexually (not that I had even had sex at that age), I just loved getting dirty in writing. Maybe I should’ve known I was destined to be a sex writer from that age, but I didn’t. Even as an adult, I really enjoy the process of getting to know someone over text (andmaybe phone and Facetime) before meeting them IRL. My ex and I both lived in different states, met via Twitter, and texted for a good few months before meeting in person. Sure, there are downsides, like if you meet someone IRL and find yourself lessattracted to them physically than anticipated. But for me, I’m better able to express myself honestly through text. And because I haven’t met the person and felt the sexual tension IRL yet, I feel that I’m more myself and less focused on judging if they’re a good date or if I’m being a good date myself. There’s a good chance you don’t enjoy sexting as much as I do, and that’s okay. But maybe the reason you don’t enjoy it is because you or your partner aren’t very good at it. And, considering the current state of our world, now seems as good a time as ever to improve upon your naughty wordsmithing (and selfie-taking). Here are my words of wisdom. First, establish consent + trust Obviously, before doing any of the below suggestions, you want to make sure you trust the person you’re exchanging lewd messages and photos with. You also want to obtain consent to share your naughty thoughts with them. If the person you’re texting is responding to your panty-dropping text message novels with a one-word response or emoji, they might not be as into it as you thought, and you should probably take a step back. Likewise, if you’re into something particularly taboo, you might want to put out some feelers to see if they’re down with that before you start going all 50 Shades of Grey on them. Say what you actually want to say (and do IRL), but step it up If you’re at a loss for words when it comes to sexting—keep it simple, stupid. Instead of saying, “I want to fuck you so hard rn,” take a step back and take it slow (just like you would with real-life sex). Nobody likes an eager beaver who goes straight to penetration and 36
