Voices Volume Twelve - LGBTQIA+

VO I C E S VO LU M E T W E LV E : LG B TQ I A+

Voices T H E S U.O R G .U K / VO I C E S

Voices LG B TQ I A+

Voices is a student-led campaign headed by Falmouth & Exeter Students’ Union, providing a platform for people whose voices might previously have been lost in the noise.

Trigger Warning Samaritans: 116123 Switchboard LGBTQ: 0300 3300 630 If in immediate danger or disstress call 999 If you need to talk to someone, please contact the Student Support Services team or visit thesu.org.uk/welfare

V O I C E S V O L U M E T W E LV E LGBTQIA+ M A R C H 2020

LGBTQIA+ A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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am writing this just a day after Philip Schofield came out on This Morning.

People have come out in huge support for him after his announcement, with words of love and pride, and telling him how brave they think he is. Coming out as a public figure must not be easy, I think. It’s already hard enough coming out to the people you know, but to thousands of people you don’t know? It’s a terrifying thought.

Many countries around the world have made progress towards the acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community in the last few decades, and more than ever before in the 2010s. For that reason many might think that it’s not such a big deal, and that there’s no need to make such a fuss around coming out.

And wouldn’t that be fantastic? A world where there isn’t even a need to come out anymore. Where gender and sexuality are your personal business and your parents won’t blink an eye, no matter the gender of the person you bring home to meet them (and you won’t have to prepare them for it in advance).

As long as people lash out instead of educating themselves, as long as parents will be disappointed for imaginary biological grandchildren rather than relieved that they have raised kids who feel comfortable and confident enough to bring whomever they wish home to meet them, and as long as violent persecution still occurs, we will keep telling everyone who comes out, no matter where or how or when, that they are brave and that we are proud of them.

This issue isn’t just about bravery and pride – there is heartbreak, joy, anger and wonder in these pages.

We were actually overwhelmed by the number of people wanting to take part and had to close submissions. Several people gave feedback on our original title choice, and we decided to take this into account and change to something with less connotation.

The whole team at Voices want to thank everyone who took part and everyone who reached out for this issue – you are brave and we are proud of you.

THAIS CARDON EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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lj ellam “It’s a club people go to and my sexuality is not a club, it’s my life.”

LJ ELLAM

“I just got fed S

o what was it that made you say yes to being part of the Voices LGBTQAI+ edition?

up of not being represented.”

Not many lesbians are about. You don’t hear many lesbian stories; it’s always gay men or trans stories.

There is nothing wrong with that, but it feels like there are no lesbians, especially non-binary lesbians. We are the bottom of the barrel, we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. I just got fed up with not being represented.

Do you think the idea of passing offers a different experience to some LGBTQ+ people?

I think it’s very much a privilege. For example, I’ve got a trans friend who is trans-non-binary, but he still uses he/him pronouns and he is very much androgynous, so even though he’d go through all the surgeries, he doesn’t pass at the same time. People who prioritise passing as the best thing, I don’t know, it’s just kind of a bit sad and not nice to have. It’s difficult when you are non-binary for passing because there’s no such thing, it’s only androgynous, so I get called a man all the time and I prefer to be a man but I’m not. I don’t want to give up the feminine side, so I sort of pass as both [...], but I don’t think passing is a priority and I don’t think people should focus on it.

Could you explain what being non-binary means to you as a non-binary lesbian?

For me, being a woman always meant that I was trying to attract men. I had hypersexualised myself and hyperfeminised myself just to make myself feel better but deep down I felt... Well I’ve done loads of research on it and it’s gender roles; you always have a male and female in a relationship, so I think because I was brought up to be so hyper feminised I said, “Sod it” and wanted to do the other way. Especially when I thought I can’t be a femme liking a femme so I have to be butch, but at the same time it’s not like saying I’m doing butch-ness because I’m doing that as a response, it’s more rebelling against everything I’ve been told. I feel more comfortable rather than being made to go and like men. People get confused all the time, they’re like, “You’ve got to be a woman.” No, liking women is my attachment to femininity, so it’s an important part of me, but it is as well the pressure to be manly. It’s even confusing for me.

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Do you think the University as a Higher Education system does enough to inform and support LGBTQAI+ students?I’m not too sure because this is when I mean the only thing I’ve really heard of related to it here is

There's the Pride Society and the Liberation Committee. I was on the liberation committee but had to come off for other reasons. Those are the only two things I’ve heard of that have really been there but the Pride Society, they’re headed by trans people and very much trans focused and gay men – so there’s no lesbians in there. Lesbians were very much brought away from it all, so I think by the university saying that Pride Society is a society … It’s almost like a little club.

It’s a club people go to and my sexuality is not a club, it’s my life.

Outside of that, have you ever found something that made you feel accurately seen in your sexuality?

Not really, kind of, I have read Alison Bechdel and that’s probably the only time I’ve really seen a healthy lesbian relationship but even then, it was talking about all of her issues with her family. Every lesbian story you pick up it’s the two femmes, it’s either made like a porno or one dies or something ridiculous! It’s always something, never happy, you never get to see a real-life lesbian couple who are just normal people. The only way I could probably see it is if maybe I watch Four in a Bed and they have gay couples and the one lesbian couple, maybe once, and that’s it.

Is queer a slur or an identity?

It’s the worst known to man. Even in Fine Art when they’re talking about the queer identity or queer art, queer means weird, we are not weird we are just normal! It’s horrible. The acronym is not that long, just say it and be done with it. It takes about the same amount of time to say queer. That’s one thing me and my friends don’t like about the Pride Society because they’re like “queer is an identity” and it’s not, it’s an umbrella term and it’s horrible. It’s a slur. I mean, some slurs are fine; I can say the word dyke because I find it funny, but the word queer is a bit … It’s just easier to avoid it than get yourself into s**t.

Finally, is there anything you would want to say to other people in the community?

Don’t take any s**t. That’s the main thing, don’t take any rubbish. Just don’t take any crap from anyone if they’re saying it.

Interviewed by Emily Burdett

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CHARLIE HALFHIDE

M

charlie halfhide

y name is Charlie Todd. I am a second year Creative Writing student. I write poems about the sea and essays about old Hollywood actresses. I have more books than sense, drink copious amounts of tea, and make really good cheesy mashed potato.

Seriously, you ought to try it. I have been told that I am extroverted, introverted, emotional, logical, practical, fantastical … and that I make far too many comments about back ache for a nineteen year old. I love religion, but don’t follow one. I recognise my privilege as a white individual whilst championing the experiences of my working class upbringing. I am passionately leftleaning, unapologetically nerdy, and perhaps most of all, motivated to get my words and writing out into the world.

“I wouldn’t show affection to my friends, for fear of being seen as feminine.”

I am also a trans man. That factors simultaneously into all of the above, and none of it at all.

Six months ago, I would not have comfortably written that statement. In fact, I’m not sure that I am fully comfortable writing it now. I am keenly aware that in writing for Voices, there is a strong possibility that my course mates, acquaintances, even my lecturers will read this. Telling my ‘coming out story’ seems like such an odd concept to me because truly, I’m still living through it. You never come out as trans just once.

Sadly, gender is not something you can wear like a Sims diamond over your head. You can’t see gender, you can only ask, or assume. This is particularly the case for those of us who are ‘pre-t’ (pre-transition, as in, not having undergone medical sex reassignment treatments or surgeries). We do not look like society’s idea of ‘man’ or ‘woman’, ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ - and heaven help you if you’re non-binary, though that isn’t my place to speak.

And so we have to come out almost every day, two or three times a day, if not more.

I think what most people outside of the LGBTQ+ community don’t understand is that coming out never truly stops. Just because you accept your identity, just because you embrace that part of yourself, and tell others that you have, doesn’t mean that they’ll understand. I live in the knowledge that, as a trans man, there will always be people who question the legitimacy of my identity. Who question my right to call myself a man, to present myself in masculine ways.

To assume that my coming out story came to an end when I told my loved ones, is to assume that I

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CHARLIE HALFHIDE

won’t ever again have to sit down with someone and explain to them that I am transgender. At this stage in my journey, I can’t yet see a day where that would be possible.

It comes back to this concept of ‘passing’, which is a phrase used commonly by binary trans people (those who identify within the gender binary) to indicate that they have successfully been seen as the gender they identify as without others recognising that they’re transgender. For example, back when I had short hair, if I wore a binder and baggy jumper, and didn’t speak too much to reveal my high pitched voice, people would assume I was a boy without asking. They were right to, I wanted and still want to be seen as a boy, without having to tell people that I’m trans.

But, passing is really hard work. When I first came out aged fifteen, I obsessed over this idea of passing. I refused to wear anything other than three layers (binder, t-shirt, hoodie) and any bright colours were an absolute no. I would hold my tongue in public, barely whispering, “thank you” to bus drivers and shop clerks in case my voice gave me away. Most of all, I wouldn’t show affection to my friends, for fear of being seen as feminine. The idea that if I slipped up, that if I wasn’t ‘trying hard enough’ to pass, I was somehow less trans.

Passing soon stopped feeling liberating. Being recognised as masculine was always a confidence boost, but I felt restricted in every action, every item of clothing, every word I spoke.

As you can see from my photographs, I no longer worry so much about passing. Of course, being misgendered still hurts, and that’s a pain I can’t describe. I can only hope that anyone reading this will either entirely understand what I mean, or are lucky enough to have never experienced that pain, and so can only be sympathetic. Fighting to pass hurt more, because most of the time, it rarely worked. Back then, I was being misgendered daily by my parents and teachers, even a few friends.

Over the years, and with many thanks to Falmouth’s supportive LGBTQ+ community, I’ve come to feel far more free to dress and express the way I wish to. When I feel like sh*t about my appearance, my wide hips and large chest, I try to remind myself that if I were born a cisgender male, no one would ever question my gender presentation. If I had a flat chest, narrow hips, a deeper voice and were slightly taller, people wouldn’t question

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my long hair or love of dangly earrings. Allowing myself these scraps of ‘traditional’ femininity has meant I can stand a little straighter, feel a little more like the person I can and will become when I’m able to start testosterone, and undergo top-surgery to flatten my chest.

I know I’m not alone when I say that I can not wait for that day to come; the day that I can start physically moulding my body to the one it’s supposed to be.

Having said that, I realise that in writing this piece, I am putting myself in the world for debate. By standing up and waving my blue, pink and white flag, I am opening myself up for criticism and questioning. That f**king terrifies me! Really, it does. But I’m trying to keep in mind all of the trans people I knew in the years and months leading to my first coming out and after, who put themselves out into the world, loud and proud, for younger trans people like me to look up to.

If just one person struggling with any aspect of their identity can pick this magazine up, this collection of light and hope, and see all of us making a noise. I think that’ll make it worth it. People need to keep standing up for themselves, for this community, because we’re the ones who understand what it’s like to be trans. To not pass. To be misgendered. To be told, worst of all, that you don’t count. We have to remind each other, and the world at large, that that isn’t true.

“You never come out as trans just once.”

matt taylor grey

MATT TAYLOR GREY

“We are brought up in a society where being straight is seen as the norm.”

W

e are still very much in a time where, okay the LGBTAI+ community is becoming more accepted but we are still nowhere near there. Especially, like recently there is a report that homophobic crimes are up 55%? So people have this image of “oh we are equal now, we’ve got our rights” and stuff but we very much haven’t, it’s still very much we’re fighting.

Some of my dad’s closest friends were a gay couple so I always had that example. It’s important to make it not necessarily obvious but to be vocal and open, to be a role model and an example to people in the same way it could be important if you haven’t had that. If that makes sense.

I feel like we still don’t see ourselves fully represented in mainstream media. A lot of the time we see gay or queer characters in the media (TV and movies) and it’s still very much a novelty and being used as a selling point for a film rather than being in it because we exist. Until recently it was still used as comic relief. I still don’t think we are fully represented.

It’s definitely starting to become more representative. I think we are nearly there. There are shows out there that portray it in a good and accurate light.

just judgemental because I’d had a girlfriend. We are brought up in a society where being straight is seen as the norm. So I was conditioned into thinking I needed a girlfriend because that’s normal. When I moved to college, I met more gay people and came to realise that that was who I was. So the only people who had an issue with it weren’t out of homophobia thankfully.

I very much identify as male, but I very much believe that gender is a spectrum. I don’t think anyone is 100% one thing or another, in the same way I don’t think anyone is 100% straight or 100% gay. It’s all very much spectrums.

Interviewed by Amelia Banton

I don’t know that I have an opinion on what the uni have done for LGBTAI+ students. This year I’ve done the most with Pride Soc, all I’ve really done is go to coffee mornings with them. I felt at home with them.

It would have been nice if, when we arrived as Freshers, that we had been given leaflets or information outlining the support they have in place for LGBTAI+ students. If you need it come get it. I’ve never seen anything like that and it might not be that it doesn’t exist but that it’s not advertised and put out there enough.

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I came out at 16. It went well, I came out in my first year of college after I’d left secondary school. I had a girlfriend for two years. I think going to college I had the realisation that I don’t need to hide this. I think my favourite words from my mum were ‘I was more surprised when you came home and said you had a girlfriend’. At which point I thought I should have told her earlier really. For me, everyone was accepting, although a couple of people weren’t okay that I’d had a girlfriend. She and I got on very well; it was her friends who were the issue so we ended up having to cut contact. The only people who seemed to have an issue with it, it was not out of homophobia, they were

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IONA HAZELHURST

I

get a lot of weird questions when people find out I am bisexual, the best one has been ‘so you’re attracted to me then?’ and I want to say that just because I can be attracted to both genders does not mean that you are included in it. I’m religious as well; my Dad was a priest and I grew up in churches and the Christian community isn’t always the best. So, I think that trying to get people to understand is the best way to go forward, instead of just sitting back and saying ‘believe what you want’ because that does not work. They have to learn somehow so why not talk about it.

I only came out publicly a year and a half ago but I’ve known for a hell of a long time. I’ve known probably since I was about 14 or 15. When I came out my grandparents unfriended me on Facebook and stopped talking to me. But in general, my immediate life was not affected much. My friends are still my friends, nothing’s changed. But from a wider perspective, it has been a bit different, especially from a church perspective, especially the ways some of the priests and bishops that I know look at me. Even where I can go to church is now limited significantly.

When I came to university it was so much more open, so I could look around and know that it made sense. I could say it and not be judged for it. I feel like in high school or sixth form there’s all the jokes; students don’t realise the impact of calling something gay. That

means that’s a negative thing, that means I don’t want to be that. It is just kids being kids but it does have an impact. Because uni is so much more open people are much more willing to be themselves. It’s a fresh start so it’s a lot easier to come to terms with it. YouTube is the best thing ever. I saw myself represented in characters like Superwoman, loads of YouTubers starting coming out one after the other and that idea of them just willing to be themselves and not letting it affect them.

For me, being from a religious community and family, my parents are very accepting, I knew that all the time. My Dad founded an organisation to get LGBTAI+ people accepted in church, he was massively vocal in that regard. It was important for me to take that step of coming out, mainly because of extended family but also because of all these bishops and priests that we constantly saw on an everyday basis. It was a bit naïve at the time but I had this idea that if they knew me, because they’d known me for years, they’d known me growing up, if they knew that I was the thing that they think is bad it would contribute to that slow change in perception. I think that the more people that do come out, especially in communities that are Orthodox or Evangelical - my area of Christianity - help because it’s more that slow shift, that you can be both.

I was at a church in Dorset; my dad had just stopped

iona hazelhurst

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IONA HAZELHURST

“When I came out my grandparents unfriended me on Facebook and stopped talking to me.”

being a vicar; he’d gone into prison chaplaincy work due to my Mum’s care needs. We started going to a church in Dorchester that he knew people from so we thought it would be alright. Literally the second service we went to there was a sermon on how it was not okay to be gay. They slowly started pushing us out of the church, they’d ignore us and wouldn’t talk to us.

People would turn their shoulder if you went up to introduce yourself. That became a common theme, so we stopped going there. Church is largely about community and the whole Christian community is supposed to be tight knit, but as soon as they found out my Dad had started doing work with the LGBTAI+ community. One guy even called him “the vicar that did the gay thing”. I don’t understand what that means but that’s what they said. It was a big problem and people shut you out of churches. At four or five churches that’s happened now. It’s always been this consistent, passive aggressive “we don’t want you here.”

It is hurtful, especially when you’ve grown up in that religious space which I did, literally my house was attached to a church. Going from that to not being welcome anymore is very difficult.

Labels are a more negative than positive thing in my opinion. My sibling is non-binary, which is confusing as it’s a recent thing. They don’t like having that label on them and they are very much more fluid between the two, wearing more masculine clothes sometimes and more feminine clothes other times. I think generally I don’t see gender identity as a big issue across the board. For sure, there are differences between sexes that are scientific but I don’t think we always have to say ‘well that means you are this and you are that.’ I think that’s quite strict and I’d much prefer the world to be less caring about gender.

Interviewed by Amelia Banton

I don’t go out much and engage with the Falmouth LGBTAI+ community. I have a lot of LGBT friends and we just accept that that is who we are and we don’t really see it as being a big part of who we are. I don’t see any problems in Falmouth for LGBTAI+ people. I’ve never had any problems at uni so they must be doing something right! I’ve not really seen much about the LGBTAI+ community but to me that is not a bad thing.

Personally I think that it shouldn’t have to be brought up as this entirely separate issue. I actually prefer that it’s not talked about hugely. Bringing it up when there isn’t a problem makes it separate out. I’ve been to different Pride celebrations across the country but I don’t really do Pride Society stuff at uni. It’s who I am but I don’t have to identify as that all the time. When I came to university I went to the Chaplaincy and I did find out from a gay vicar from the area who came to talk to me about it that there were a few places here I could go. There’s one in Penryn which isn’t too bad, I go there every now and again if I need to. They have a link to a lot of students from the university and they tend to be a lot more open compared to the Methodist church up the road. I wouldn’t go there; I think I’d burst into flames if I walked through the door.

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luke conlin

LUKE CONLIN

“When I H mentioned my period to a bunch of heterosexual cis male flatmates I had before, they started shrieking.”

ow do you identify?

I use he/him pronouns and I identify with the label transmasculine but I just go by man. But people call me boy, I have been ID’d for stamps and bars even though I am teetotal before with my baby face. Or people just misgender me full stop.

How did you come to realise your identity?

It was something I realised early on but also took a long time. My body has never done what I wanted it to do so I have always felt isolated from it in some regard.

At 11, I went to an all-girls' grammar school, which was difficult. It is very affirming for those who were feminine and I admit I felt more comfortable with femininity there. But it was the time of puberty and I really felt uncomfortable with my body. I realised that there was something different about me but I did not have the language back in 2010 with the lack of trans visibility. I was trans about 2015 but I did not acknowledge or accept it. You know when you realise something but don’t accept it, the cognitive dissonance. I did realise until late 2016, not influenced

by Trump but rather this growing realisation reaching this peak and kicked in. Once I fully accepted it I wanted to tell everyone.

I realised who I am, a man. I was still at the all-girls’ school the whole time, but it was a mixed sixthform and I dressed like the guys. In 2017, I started coming out but I was not out to everyone until five days before university. University was the first time I was out and a friend had talked about at the start, I was yet to embody my masculinity. She did not know what pronouns to use. I was not used to having Luke as my name, five days in really. I was out to my family, dad, sister and my dog who hated my hairstyle. But at the start of university, I did not really identify or embody myself, avoiding it. But back at my school, there have been about ten trans people who have come out in my year of 50 people and there have been more since. My trans journey has been something.

Have you been able to connect with the trans community?

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I went to a few Pride Soc events but I feel like everyone was friends and it was kind of exclusive. But that may just be me. I never deep dove into it but I do have really supportive friends. I did start to look more at trans issues with my two Grand Challenges

work, analysing trans policy here. I am now part of the Liberation Committee as a Widening Participation Officer and trying to make changes as it is my final year.

Is it very difficult to make the changes you need as a trans person in the UK? It is very expensive for those who are not rich. My change of name was a £170 for the lawyer, as a witness and deed poll. I needed it for the university so I needed to change bank accounts and passports. But I did not have a gender recognition certificate as I had not been living as trans for five years. It is very expensive so I had to fish for proof that I am trans, so I had to get a letter for a private clinic specialist that was acceptable.

I am lucky that I am being supported by a charity, MCF, that has supported my family. If I tried on my own, it would be five grand which is just for two sessions at the private clinic. I waited two years on the NHS waiting list at Exeter. Exeter has one of the shortest waiting lists but in September 2017 I was told that I had to wait for an appointment till December 2020. My entire University time. In terms of my medical transition, it was never easy but I was not really braced for how quick it has been with the MCF help.

suppressed. As a trans man, I was socialised to be a woman even though I was never and never will be that.

The socialisation though is still ingrained in me and I still feel a greater affinity towards women. I feel a need to support women because I would not say I was one but I was one. I wish white cis men used their power to help the women, people of colour, the disabled in their lives.

Interviewed by Kabejja Ganya

How have you found it constantly being an educator?

It is exasperating and exhausting but what has guided me is my hope that others down the line will not have to do it. I understand, that for many, the questions come from a place of never being taught about it. I had to find the language and labels that fit me, but cis people do not usually have to do that sort of work. Once you start to examine your gender, you learn things about yourself that you never realised.

A lot of people carry toxic things about their gender that affect them but they are never taught to critically assess or challenge their gender. Men in particular need to. Coming to uni and speaking to other men about the aspects of toxic masculinity that we may have but most men don’t see it as important. When I mentioned my period to a bunch of heterosexual cis male flatmates I had before, they started shrieking.

What do you think happens that you need to panic, just a bit of blood. And they say women are emotional.

Men really need to do the work. I am still dealing with the after effects of the ways in which women are

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lachlan mykura I

’m female to male transgender and I’m binary. And I’m bisexual. As well as cis-gender binary, there are also binary trans people as well as non-binary. Gender is very important to me as an individual. Among binary trans people there is this concept of passing and going stealth. To pass is to be recognised as the gender that you are transitioning. To go 'stealth' is to not tell anyone that you have transitioned. Gender is important to me in that I’d like to go stealth one day, I think I’d want to fully pass. The divide between male and female isn’t that important to me, it’s just what I want to be seen as.

I think, in a way, I am vocal for myself. If I can get acceptance for myself that means other people who identify as female to male are going to get that same acceptance. So, although my goal is making life easier for me, in the end that helps other people. Those who are non binary have a lot further to go. We are fighting for different things. I am fighting to be recognised and to pass as male but non-binary people are fighting the ignorance around it. They have got to break through all that as well.

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I came out privately aged about 14 or 15 but then publicly I kind of had to because I wanted to change my school’s uniform policy just before I went into Sixth Form. For me coming out was necessary. A lot of people say you shouldn’t need to come out, that should just be the norm. But in the end there is always

LACHLAN MYKURA

“Some people really like labels because they help them figure out their own identity and some people really don’t because it constricts them.”

going to be that stating of how you feel. I think it should be more seen as that’s how it is rather than being a big thing. When someone says “Oh I’ve found a cute guy” or “I’ve found a cute girl” that’s a statement of fact. I think coming out should be a similar statement of fact rather than a big anxiety-inducing life-changing thing. I don’t come from Cornwall originally; I’m from Brighton, kind of helps with getting in touch with the Gay community. You have to really try not to in Brighton!

Changing my school’s uniform took about a year of fighting them to allow a gender-neutral uniform policy, and in the process I had to explain to everyone why I wanted to. Everyone I spoke to asked, “well why do you care?” When I first got the idea, I was talking to people informally about it. I was told it had been tried before, that people had tried every year to change the uniform policy and the school always said no. So that was a challenge. I did a petition at first to try and get people who would be in support of a change to prove that people wanted it. The school basically said to me to f**k off. I decided to go and talk to the administration team one on one. I had a lot of conversations with the Headmaster, a lot of conversations with his second in command, and they were quite resistant to it at first, they said the grounds were bullying. I remember them saying what if one of the boys just wanted to come in in a skirt one day to make fun of it and I just remember thinking that that seemed a very stupid cover up reason for why they didn’t want to do it. A, no one is going to go out and buy an expensive uniform skirt as a joke and B, so what if someone wants to come in in a skirt one day? Let them, that’s their choice.

I definitely hide that I’m trans in some areas. For example, if I go for a job interview I don’t tell them, but it’s definitely given me more social opportunities through queer clubs and LGBTAI+ youth groups. In more professional aspects it’s still a difficult subject.

I’ve only seen myself represented when I went looking for it. I think there’s more now, but I first recognised myself in a book called ‘The Art of Being Normal.’ It follows one binary female to male and one binary male to female person and is a YA novel on top of that. I’ve noticed that there is more representation now than when I was coming out. Then, there wasn’t much to notice unless you went looking for it.

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I know some people think that passing is redundant and that you shouldn’t need to but in the same way that I think coming out is a statement of fact, for some people it’s important to them. To say that passing is a transphobic notion completely ignores the feeling of the binary and non-binary people who feel it is important to their transition. People need to transition enough to alleviate their dysphoria. People who don’t like the term passing, perhaps certain types of transition is enough to alleviate their gender dysphoria and for some people its not. They need all the surgeries, to go stealth, otherwise they would still feel dysphoric, but for some people social transition is enough, it’s a spectrum. There is a lot of focus on how you don’t need to pass and that’s fine for some people, but some people really do. Good on the people who don’t feel that passing is important, is a big factor in alleviating their dysphoria or helping them live their life as they want to, but some people really do. I guess that’s where the differences come from.

Some people really like labels because they help them figure out their own identity and some people really don’t because it constricts them. The only danger with ‘Queer’ is shoehorning people who don’t identify with queer into one umbrella, because I know just as with shoehorning people into any identity some people will identify with it and some will not. Some people have negative experiences with the word Queer. There is the danger, especially with the older members of the LGBTAI+ community who might have had it used as a slur against them, of labelling them as something that makes them uncomfortable. But as we get comfortable with the word Queer in a non-derogatory way, it is getting reclaimed. As it is in that transition period from a slur to an identity again there’s the danger of f**king up on both sides. If respect means doing a little bit of background research, then that’s fair enough.

Interviewed by Amelia Banton

31

jae and brooke “Being a lesbian is so oversexualised�

JAE ATLAS HOLLAND & BROOKE CLARK

“People F have always seen me as a straight female and I am not that, so it is confusing”

irstly would you two like to introduce yourself and how you identify?

Jae: So I am Jae and I identify as non-binary so I use the pronouns, they/them and I came out in the first year of uni to my friends. But at home, I do not use these pronouns because I have not come out to everyone at home which is okay, I guess.

Brooke: My name is Brooke and my pronouns are she/her and they/them. So you came out as gay earlier in college but I came out as gay only recently. I was out as bisexual for a long time but it never fully resonated with me. I was dating men and it was not great. I came here and identified as a lesbian but I am fully not out to everyone. It is still quite raw and fresh. I had a boyfriend just before uni and he had a go at me for coming out. He said that I should have dated another male and then come out after so that it didn’t make him look like he turned me. Which isn’t the case; people don’t turn other people gay, that’s just the way I am.

So both of you have said that you have not been able to come out to everyone. Has it been difficult with certain family members or friends?

Jae: My family is quite accepting so I have been able to tell them. It is more the gender thing that they do not understand, it is more like you have to be either a boy or girl. I found that my mum’s family tends to see things in black and white so they really struggle with it. Within my family, my brother is trans, female-to-male, and I think that my family understand that more than me being non-binary.

Brooke: My mum and dad know. I text my dad while in Falmouth. I said that I am gay, it is not a phase and I do not want to talk about it. He said cool, fine and my mum took a bit longer to understand. I am not out to anyone else in my family. I do find it quite difficult to talk about with family members as I dated guys for so long. So everyone suggests that I am not a lesbian. I am.

It is a lot of explaining to do and I kind of wish I came out earlier. People have always seen me as a straight female and I am not that, so it is confusing. There has been a lot of suppression for me. It is quite hard knowing that I was not true to myself for so many years.

I do think it was a mix of external and internal factors, like going to a religious school and a need to please my parents and reduce their worries.

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What are your experiences with the way that society tries to suppress the LGBTQIA community?

Jae: There is also the standard of the butch and femme.

Brooke: Society tries to raise everyone as cis, straight people and that depresses me. Jae was bullied at school because they looked gay and for being gay. I looked more straight passing with long hair and wore skirts so I was not bullied. I did have crushes on girls but I did not think anything of it because in the end, I will end up with a boy at some point which is what I thought. After a while I realised my future would be with someone of the same sex. Being straight was pushed onto me, no one ever questioned my sexuality so I never did. I think I did force myself into this box of ‘I’m bisexual I am!’. Bisexual was definitely overlooked and with the connotation of ‘I only kiss girls at parties’ but in actual fact I knew I would end up with a same sex partner and didn’t see anything romantically with men.

[Brooke: Who’s the man? Who wears the trousers in the relationship?]

Jae: I was pushing it upon myself to be straight.

Everyone was saying that you look gay. I would get defensive and say no I am not. I can date guys. It was all because I looked different. However this would make me question my sexuality more through school. I said nothing, but when I started college I was able to come out and it was handled more maturely and supportive. At school, people do not know the full extent of how much it can affect someone. How much it can play on someone’s mind but to them it was a small throw away comment that had no consequences for them.

Have you had to educate or make others comfortable about who you are?

Jae: I do not mind if people ask a genuine question about let’s say, my pronouns or something. However if someone knows my pronouns and still does not use them, it is really frustrating. You try to be educational about your experiences and feelings but I have had some weird questions about my sex life like at college which is really none of their business.

Brooke: Being a lesbian is so over-sexualised that people think that they can ask inappropriate questions to people like me. When I came out officially, men then asked on social media whether I wanted a threesome. It is really frustrating, it is one of the reasons I shaved my head.

We both do. There is no man, that is the point. It does not have to be a butch and femme, it is just whoever you are attracted to. But there is this standard set by straight men.

Brooke: Also because Jae is non-binary and quite masculine presenting, some people say that I am just kidding myself about being a lesbian. It is all very frustrating. Proper education on this is really necessary. Representation of lesbians in the media is very upsetting, you get a girl who is unhappily dating a boy and cheats with a woman. There is a lack of good representation with characters who are gay and dated women the start. It is all very over dramatic and oversexualised.

How have your experiences been as a couple that does not present like the conventional heterosexual couple?

Jae: In somewhere like Cornwall, I think people do not get a lot of representation, so when they see a couple like us, they are taken aback. I get a couple of funny looks and I think that they think it is this new fangled thing. But it has been around for a long time.

Brooke: I never have been used to looks, as I was straight passing before so it was new to me. I think that the first few times we were going around Falmouth, we received comments like, “look at those gays.” I was not used to that but who cares. Moreover, I am a little scared of religious people because of what the Bible or other religious texts say about the LGBTQAI+ community and my experience at a religious school. I wish it was not the case, I have met supportive religious people but I have met religious people who are strongly against the LGBTQAI+ community.

How have your experiences been at Pride events?

Brooke: I have never been to Pride.

Jae: It is so nice to go to Pride and be with people on the same wavelength. I have been to one and it was really good because everyone was there for a

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good reason. I felt like it was the most accepting environment. You see people dressed in rainbows, children there with their families, it is just so nice that there is a day and a space. There are people who understand a little bit more and you don’t have to explain yourself. It is this unspoken understanding.

There are no straight people constantly asking questions again and again. It is so relieving.

What kind of support do you wish you had when you were younger?

Jae: I think LGBTQAI+ education is necessary.

In school, we just got taught man and woman, condoms and contraceptive pills. It was just like HIV and AIDS is for the gays so we cannot talk about it.

People were throwing around these terms about sexuality and gender that they did not understand and hurting other people. There is nothing about same sex relationships or relationships with people outside the binaries.

Brooke: LGBTQAI+ education should be a legal requirement in schools, like climate change education. Also, I wish that young people could get support to figure their sexuality or gender identity out, as I wish I had that. But now, I am a part of something that I have wanted to be a part of for so long. It took me a long time to get here, but now I am here.

Interviewed by Kabejja Ganya

39

sinead rose o’brien

SINEAD ROSE O’BRIEN

I

identifity as a bisexual woman. In my early teenage years, I always had an inkling I wasn’t heterosexual.

I never sought to figure out my identity until around age 14; I owe the development of the Internet thanks for that. Before I discovered the plethora of online platforms we use today, I had no words to describe how I was feeling. I knew I liked men, yet I had crushes on women too. Did this mean I was gay? The Internet is amazing for so many reasons, but something I used back then and continue to use it for today is finding others interested in niche fandoms.

A main website for this would be one I guarantee all ‘gays’ have an opinion on, ‘Tumblr’. For those who don’t know, Tumblr is a blogging website where anyone can log on and make a blog post on a subject of their choice, often the result of a more nerdy fandom. There are also more serious blogs that choose to educate, rant or talk politics. It was on this site where I first heard the term ‘bisexual.’

“I had no words to describe how I was feeling”

It was confusing to grow up in the early 2000s and not see any representation for how I was feeling portrayed in the mainstream media. It left me with no other option than to naively brush my attraction to the opposite sex away. In the same way people could appreciate a good piece of artwork, I assumed wrongly that was what was happening with me. “She’s pretty, I don’t want to be with her, no, I want to be her.” It wasn’t until secondary school that the urge to identify myself became important to me.

My friends, both in person and online, were developing quickly; finding romantic partners, coming out. People started asking me what my identity was as well, and more intolerant individuals took to calling me homophobic slurs for standing up for myself and my friends. I felt like I had to prove something, the comments stuck in my head no matter if they were good or bad, I needed to know what I identified as. A quick Google search would change how I presented myself forever; suddenly everything made sense.

Tumblr helped me understand the different types of labels and their definitions. Researching famous bisexuals through history made me certain of who I was. I Googled quizzes late at night, such as, ‘I think I’m a lesbian but men are also attractive?’

Pro tip: if you’re Googling ‘Am I gay?’ the chances are you are a little bit gay! Despite being out online as bisexual, in person was whole different story. To play

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SINEAD ROSE O’BRIEN

it safe I came out to my friends, and whoever asked, as ‘bi-curious.’ My love for the online world coincided with my knowledge and education on LGBTQAI+ culture. I learned about the hardships my queer ancestors had faced and the hardships the community still faces today. I began to follow queer fashion trends as well as celebrities and icons, listening to LGBTQAI+ artists. Through all of this I was adopting the culture as my own and carrying it on through how I presented in the outside world.

That’s why I feel it’s important to be a vocal member of the community today. Through my course and time at Falmouth I have been exposed to the media in a whole new way. As a journalist, it is my responsibility to make sure that we as a community get the representation that we need. If I had grown up and having had that representation that I feel I can provide myself now, I would have been able to label myself while still in the ‘questioning’ phase of my identity. Not only that, but it is a part of who I am, it’s my history in the making. In a society that puts my human rights up for question I will not be silent when simply standing up and saying “I’m a bisexual woman” makes a difference.

It’s also important because I can offer protection and a safe place to others in the community. People knowing I’m out and proud might be enough to encourage them to be too - it’s something we’ve seen throughout time with celebrities like Harry Styles, Dan Howell, and Freddie Mercury. While the Internet has connected me to others, being out at Falmouth has changed my world. Despite how long I have been out online, there hasn’t been a single place I have the freedom I have felt here. I don’t know if I can say that it’s all down to how great the university is for the LGBTQAI+ community or outside factors but I know I don’t have to be afraid. I can dress up, wear flashy clothes, do extravagant make-up and openly love all genders all while attending a 9 am lecture. And the best part? No one really bats an eye.

I hope that sharing my story encourages others to share theirs. There is always more to be done. Always more to fight for, no matter how free I may feel about my own identity. LGBTQAI+ communitym whether that be online or in the real world, is one that is accepting, no matter what age. If Love Simon taught me anything, it’s coming out is no one’s choice to make but your own.

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eros richardson “Labels are alright as long as they are the label you choose yourself, not the label someone else has chosen for you�

EROS RICHARDSON

“People are B more likely to apologise for getting a dog’s pronouns wrong than getting a trans person’s pronouns wrong”

eing binary trans, I’m not saying its not difficult but according to government censuses being non-binary doesn’t even exist yet. So as long as I’m loud and vocal about being non-binary then eventually maybe it will get recognised as being a thing and we will get acceptance in society and things like that.

That’s the main reason I try to be vocal because, as of right now, I’m not officially recognised. I feel like I have to emphasise that I’m not saying that being binary trans isn’t difficult, because it is, but I would like it if we got recognised as existing.

At the moment in society there is a very clear image of male and a clear image of female. It’s relatively easy to adhere to either of those images. You wear a dress, or you wear a shirt and trousers. You either have long hair or you have short hair. The difference between being binary trans and being non-binary trans is that when you are transitioning as a non-binary person there isn’t necessarily a goal. I want to pass, but I don’t know what that would be for me. I guess the basic idea would be to confuse people. I would like to have people see me and not be instantly labelled as “Sir”. Ideally, I’d like there to be a third little word that people use but for now I’d like to go into a restaurant and for them to go “Sir, oh no Ma’am”. Going stealth for a non-binary person is almost impossible at the moment because the rest of society doesn’t know what that looks like. You can’t secretly be non-binary because it is so different from what anyone else is at the moment.

I think coming out should always be a necessary step. I wouldn’t like to live in a society where coming out wasn’t necessary because there are some women who look like men and there are some men who look like women. Without people coming out and stating what they identify as we would never know. You shouldn’t be able to tell someone’s gender from the way they look so I think coming out is necessary. I think in an ideal society it is necessary to come out at some point. But depending on where you live in the world, it’s a bit more of a necessity not to come out as it might end up getting you ousted or maybe even killed.

Something a lot of people don’t understand is that passing isn’t just a societal thing. In the DSM, which is the psychological manual that’s got everything in it, the cure to gender dysphoria is to assign someone the correct gender either through surgery or societal

48

transition. The advice that a psychologist will give you if you are suffering from gender dysphoria is to attempt societal transition. I can see the reason behind people not liking the term passing because for some people passing is a lot more difficult than others.

Some people might think they will never pass for the way they want to look and the term passing is troublesome.

When people say LGBTAO terms are too much to learn, I think that’s a load of rubbish because they remember the names of everyone they know. You remember the gender of everyone you know, you remember their birthdays and you remember what date Christmas is. Why shouldn’t you remember your friend is asexual? It’s not difficult, it’s not like you have to know them all, but if someone says to you “I’m pansexual” you should remember that to be a decent friend. No one is expecting you to go out and learn every term in the LGBTQIA+ slogan because nobody does. Well maybe some people do. You should make an effort to respect what your friends identify as.

Whilst I don’t think the Uni has done anything for trans students, they haven’t done anything wrong either. The Pride Society certainly has done so much for acceptance. If the members of the committee weren’t really driving the events nothing would have happened really. I don’t know of anything that the Students’ Union has done in terms of Pride stuff.

I’ve not had much contact with the Cornwall LGBTAI+ community because I’ve not been out that long. I’ve lived in Cornwall all my life and I’m out in Totnes.

I’ve had quite a lot of contact with the Totnes Pride Community because that’s where I came out, that’s where all my friends were. I went to Cornwall Pride and that was good fun.

There are people who say that queer is a slur and that it ought not to be used in today’s society. But the thing about the word queer is it didn’t originate as a slur, just like many other racial and disability slurs did.

Queer was a word created by the LGBTAI+ community and then it was cruelly taken from us. Queer was a word created by us, for us and then it was used as a derogatory term, but I think now it’s being reclaimed, and I think that’s a really good thing. I think it shouldn’t be seen as a slur, I think it’s a good word to use. My conception of queer is that if you are in the LGBTAI+ community, you are queer. I see a lot of people in the LGBTAI+ community saying to straight or cis people “I can use the word queer, but you can’t”. Labels are alright

as long as they are the label you choose yourself, not the label someone else has chosen for you.

Please normalise telling people your pronouns.

Sometimes I’ll meet someone new and I’ll say well what are your pronouns and they’ll look at me like I’ve just spat on their shirt. They’ll look at me as if to say “you can’t tell?” and it gets quite difficult because so many people meet me and instantly default to the he/him pronouns when I use they/them pronouns and so please normalise asking people their pronouns and telling people your pronouns because it should be so easy but I find when I ask people “what are your pronouns" they almost get insulted which makes things difficult. People are more likely to apologise for getting a dog’s pronouns wrong than getting a trans person’s pronouns wrong. We are so focused on gender in society that we can’t help ourselves but think of cats as female and dogs as male. They are animals, they can have both genders, that’s okay. Even some languages attach genders to tables. Why?

Interviewed by Amelia Banton

49

hannah whittock

HANNAH WHITTOCK

“Even with W the LGBT community, you don’t see any asexuals“

ould you like to introduce and identify yourself?

I’m Hannah Whittock, a third-year Politics and International Relations student. I am a homo-romantic asexual but I usually just say that I am a lesbian because I am attracted to women.

How did you come to the realisation of who you are?

Through relationships. I grew up thinking that I needed a boyfriend and to get married. I’ve had boyfriends, quite a few, and I could not find anyone I could connect to. This was from primary to secondary.

I even had a problematic relationship with a guy who was 17 and I was only 14 who wanted to make things sexual. So, in secondary school, I was getting to the age where it was expected that I should be having sex and I had a boyfriend for six months and I felt physically ill when he touched me. I don’t think it was his fault but when he did touch me, I would breathe in and hope his Mum came home. When I tried to touch him, I just felt pure disgust, or nothing. But I felt I was supposed to be used to this, my first kiss was in year two. I was introduced to sexual and romantic boundaries at a very young age.

52

As I got older, I tried to be sexy and have sexual desire because that is what society wanted me to do. I got my first girlfriend because I thought if I do not really like men maybe I am into women. So I had my first girlfriend, but I still felt uncomfortable. It was a constant feeling of what is wrong with me. I hated myself. I am still with her to this day and I still love her.

But it felt like a marathon, like I needed to get to some finishing line and block everything out. But then I had a conversation with her and said, "look I don’t want to do that but I still love you". She did not understand and she still does not fully understand to this day. It is a weird disconnect and I do feel terrible for doing that, even though I know that it is not my fault. It is a big problem because everyone says sex is love and love is sex. You see that everywhere and you feel so alienated.

Even with the LGBTAI+ community, you don’t see any asexual, there's a lack of representation. Asexuality is often seen as an illness to be cured by real, true love in the media like in the TV show House. Straight people said the same things to lesbians, gay people and bisexual people and everyone in the community. It still continues and it is frustrating. In relationships, you feel terrible as the other person in the relationship who wants to feel like

they are sexually attractive. I just don’t feel lust. I do make comprises in my relationship because I do love my girlfriend and want to make her happy.

So you have had to remove boundaries for yourself for others then?

I don’t resent her for that because I understand where she is coming from. By talking to her, I understand that it is an integral part of many people’s lives and that I am an outlier for not understanding it. It is complex and I don’t think anyone should be demonised for it. It is weird.

So you came out to your girlfriend was there anyone else you had to come out to?

I came out to my Mum as gay in the car and she said that she had been trying to ask me for months and I was like yeah. Great, get out of the car. And she later told my Dad. But the first person I told was my brother when I was 16 and I told him that after my last exboyfriend, that I was done with guys. Another friend knows but does not understand. I don’t feel anyone can truly understand it really. A friend of mine for eight years still asks me questions all the time. I get this all the time, what is it? How does it work? No one understands it.

So like my other interviewee, you have to struggle with people constantly asking who and what you are?

It has gotten to the point where I have to just recommend a Youtube video playlist that I have created. Watch this because I am so tired... all these questions. What helped me was the AVN network which is for the aromantic and asexual community.

There are so many people in this community, an entire spectrum for aromantic and asexual people, demisexual, aromantic. So many identities that people do not know about.

Have you seen any positive representation of asexual people?

It is quite niche but there is a Youtuber called Maiden of the Eventide: that is her stage name. She is an author and she is asexual and bi romantic. She has this book which is really good and called The Company of Death and she has put biromantic and ace characters in the book. It has zombies, a female robot and vampires, it is great! There was a character in Shadowhunters called Rafael and when a character called Izzy tries to ask him to have sex with her, he says that is not the thing for me. But that is it, that is all he gets. There has been a lack of demisexual and aromantic characters around, it is not great.

What support do you wish for those who are growing up and are asexual?

Just do not make people feel alone. I think that with the LGBTAI+ education that they need to be told that they are not abnormal or strange. I wish someone understood me sooner, as it would have saved me a lot of heartache and years of failed relationships and self loathing. No one thinks we exist really especially the LGBT label lacking the QIA and the A for so many people stands for ally not asexual! Some people should not be there because we are not sexual but I am in love with a woman so it is weird. I think we had more representation like oh yes, Sex Education, there is one character but that is just this year and in the second season. But growing up, I had no idea.

Interviewed by Kabejja Ganya

In what ways have you connected to the asexual community?

So there is the online community like on AVN, where you go on the forums and laugh because everyone gets you. There is an ace community called Ace Space but I have not really interacted with it. I got the impression of Pride Soc that it is just a place where people find people to date. That is not for me.

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jing coulson

JING COULSON

W

hat do you identify as? What are your pronouns?

I have for a while identified as gay but I would say more broadly perhaps, pansexual but more or less gay.

Would you say you have greater access to the LGBTQAI community at University?

Yeah, I mean there are things like the Pride Society and certainly, it’s a lot more liberal than my schools in the past but I wouldn’t say that I have associated myself very closely with the societies. I don’t really have a reason why but for a variety of reasons. I also wouldn’t say that I am outwardly showing my identity, I have a girlfriend but it’s not – I don’t want to say in anybody’s face because it’s never in anybody’s face – but I don’t really push that as the forefront of my identity.

Do you feel your sexuality?

you

could

be

open

“Nobody’s got gay written on their forehead or anything”

about

It’s never something I’ve been very open about. I’ve told somebody in the church and it kind of travelled through. I don’t know whether you remember Ireland had their Marriage Equality Act done in 2014 and I made a post about that on Facebook and it kind of created a bit of backlash, even though I wasn’t outing myself I was just saying this is an important social cause and that was kind of the start of me not going to church anymore. I feel like it was unpleasant at the time, but it was the start of me creating my own identity rather than being shaped by those around me.

Do you think can coexist?

religion

and

your

sexuality

I think you can be, absolutely. I wouldn’t say I’m religious anymore, but I know a lot of people who are practicing Christians and they’re part of the LQBTQAI+ community and they are happy about that. There are a lot of welcoming churches and places of worship who do welcome people, but I do think that the concept of it is so foreign and if people opened up to it more then it would break down those stereotypes.

You mentioned exclusivity and I wondered if you find this within the LGBTQAI+ community itself?

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JING COULSON

Yeah, I think there definitely is and on social media, a lot of people that I follow say that "you should be hating on people in the community because you know what it’s like to be outcast”. For example, a lot of people on dating websites might set their preferences to be a certain type of person. They might say they would prefer somebody who is Caucasian or they prefer somebody of a certain height or they just list a lot of physical characteristics and I think that’s quite divisive. I also think, I’m not trying to bash the Pride Society, here but sometimes it has felt a little bit exclusive. This kind of plays into the idea of there being a certain type of gay, a certain type of person who’s in the community and sometimes if you don’t necessarily fit with what the majority is, if those are the people who are running the organisations, then you can feel a bit isolated. It is almost like if you don’t check all of the diversity boxes then you’re not quite gay enough or quite ‘this’ enough. I obviously identify as a gay woman but some people they have potentially more complex ways that they identify and if you don’t fit in with that then it can feel a little bit exclusive.

Obviously, they mean to be inclusive but I think for certainly myself and some others they haven’t felt like they could fit in. There needs to be a wider range of representation because some people don’t outwardly present as super gay and super colourful and there needs to be a place for everybody, not just those who are very proud to be out and show.

So as you were saying its more representation of average gay people living average day to day lives?

Yeah, I think that’s probably underrepresented whereas camp is ... if people know that you’re super camp then the likelihood is you might be gay, whereas a lot of people have said, “Oh you don’t strike me as gay”. I think that’s sometimes quite a damaging thing to say because, well, gay doesn’t look like anything in particular, anyone can be.

the LQBTQAI+ staff network and that’s for Falmouth, Exeter, FX+ and the SU. I don’t think the university itself has done a great deal but I don’t know if they’re obliged to as an educational institution. It’s important to have a space because a lot of people don’t know if others are gay, especially if you don’t outwardly present a certain way. Nobody’s got gay written on their forehead or anything. If you outwardly show your sexuality, then that’s a different story but for those of us who don’t make it very clear it’s difficult to know who else is there. I think visibility is an issue but obviously things like Voices are great.

“Being gay to me means acceptance and accepting who you are”

Anything you would like to say to people reading?

If anybody reading doesn’t know what LQBTQAI+ is, what the community is like, I’d say to get more involved because it’s quite enlightening and liberating if you do so. If you are a gay person then I would say continue living authentically and not to be deterred by others. It’s taken quite a while for me to break free of my life being dictated by others and you can now make your own decision and choose your own way.

University is a time to figure out those things. Being gay to me means acceptance and accepting who you are even if it’s not what you wanted to be and you’re trying to repress it a bit. I would say being gay for me is a small part the wider picture of who I am. I have loads of interest and it’s just a little part of my identity.

It doesn’t mean anything and so if you’re like ‘oh I wish I wasn’t’ then that’s fine, it doesn’t have to define you, it’s just a little part of you that you can grow to accept and you can nourish but give a little thought to that because otherwise, it’ll affect your wider life.

Interviewed by Emily Burdett

Do you feel the university has done enough for LGBTQAI+ students?

I don’t think the University of Exeter has as such.

Obviously, Pride Soc is the main thing the SU offers.

I haven’t got any communications about any specific events for LQBTQAI+ people, all the messages I’ve received are from the society. This isn’t really to do with students but really the staff, I’m helping to launch

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57

lucy scott “A family member said ‘if you are bi as you say you are, why don’t you just marry a man’”

LUCY SCOTT

“In second year, I started to date more and it dawned on me that I was definitely gay”

A lot of people are homophobic without knowing because they say and do things which aren’t hate crimes but they are not okay. And it’s not even people of a certain generation necessarily, it’s to do with how they were brought up. So if they see it’s more normal and if they are friends with people who are out they can see that it’s just exactly the same. It doesn’t make a difference. I think that’s really important. I think you are far less likely to be homophobic if you are friends with people who are gay.

A lot of work has been done by the Student’s Union in terms of supporting trans rights and the fact that previous Presidents have been queer so there is definitely representation there. However, I know, as I have previously been on the inclusivity panel, that the university itself (Exeter) has opposed certain things.

It took a lot of fighting for Harry to get unisex toilets because this was strongly opposed by our university.

That, I find really sad. I feel like the SU support students, there is Pride Soc which I feel fulfills a certain niche of queer people. I haven’t always felt like I’ve fitted in there and that’s no disrespect to anyone who goes, it’s just it comes down to who is running it.

The problem with students relying on the support of societies is that if for whatever reason it’s not run as smoothly, because we all have things going on, then the support lags. And that is not the fault of the students who run the society. There should be support there anyway. Support societies need extra support from the SU, it should not be put totally on the students.

I study Evolutionary Biology and we’ve had lectures where we’ve actually discussed the evolution of homosexuality. I always find it really interesting but when we talk about gender it is very much, I’ve found that obviously sex in biology is binary, but I’ve felt at times it is a bit hetero-centric. Only a little have we discussed what it is to be other. A lecturer once asked me jokingly, “Oh Lucy, so when you are looking for a mate in a man what do you look for.” I found this very funny but also it made me feel othered. There is very much a lack of awareness. We are not given a lot of info from the university itself on how they are supporting LGBTAI+ students. In terms of trans rights, there are issues with the university in terms of registration and stuff. I’ve seen it where the lecturer has put up on the board in front of 240 students the names of everybody for people to find their groups and it will have someone’s dead name. That has happened in our

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department and the lecturer won’t know. This is also an issue with university emails. It’s much harder for trans and non-binary students and they face many more difficulties in terms of academic life than I might face.

I originally started coming out to friends. It took me a long time to figure out what I was, due to being bought up in an environment where heterosexuality was the norm. I had been romantically attracted to men’s personalities, but I’ve realised that many of the guys I’ve had crushes on sort of look like lesbians or were in fact gay themselves and although it’s a stereotype, they’d have more feminine characteristics.

That’s what I’d be attracted to. I had a couple of flings but they never got very serious and I could never work out why. At the end of school there were a couple of girls who were in a relationship in a whole group that was just very queer. A lot of them were bi or bi-curious and this was a whole new thing for me. These thoughts I’d had at the back of my head, for years I’d thought it was wrong. So, I would have been 18 the first time I said to anyone that I wasn’t straight. That was how I always worded it; I worded it like that for years. I came out to my family members when I was 20. Again, I never said what I was, I just said I wasn’t straight.

However, I was coming to the point where I realised, I was particularly queer and so I would say I swing both ways but more one way than another. Most people took this to mean that I was straight which was not what I meant. I didn’t have great reactions from some of my family members but had huge support from others. It was seen as that I wasn’t sure who I was which was true but in the opposite way that they thought.

They felt they didn’t need to tell anyone about this.

I understand where that came from but it was quite tricky.

Gender binary is difficult. I definitely identify as cisgender however I feel most comfortable dressing slightly androgynous. People see that as butch.

Androgynous translates as the mixing of the genders which is what non-binary people identify with. I 100% am female. I find gender binary uncomfortable because I find gender roles really frustrating. I was brought up in a household that flipped that on its head.

Interviewed By Amelia Banton

In second year, I started to date more and it dawned on me that I was definitely gay. I still thought I didn’t need to come out because my family had said that they love me no matter what and they already know that I’m not straight therefore if I bring a girlfriend home then that’s fine. Then a family member said “If you are bi as you say you are, [although I’d never actually said that I was] why don’t you just marry a man”. Well that’s a great idea, I completely agree but unfortunately I don’t get to choose who I fall in love with. They responded, “No, but you get to choose where you look”, At that moment I thought bollocks, I’m going to have to come out.

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sebastian davis “I have experienced homophobia and transphobia unbeknownst to me and anyone who knew me, who I do not blame�

SEBASTIAN DAVIS

“Being gay is I just being who you are”

identify as transgender non-binary and go by they/ them pronouns. I guess this is the first time I’m writing this so consider this me coming out! I’ve had many failed attempts - some have made the situation worse, others I was too scared to go through with it or the response from others. I first came out to my therapist. It was really the only place I felt safe, sitting in their office. Personally, it wasn’t as simple to come out and move on. I needed to delve right into my life and understand fully how I feel and experience the world. I am relatively new to this community and only starting to be more open about it, my journey has barely begun.

I really haven’t seen my community represented in mainstream media only really until recently. Most of my childhood I didn’t relate too much to mainstream media. The one show that did capture my imagination was Doctor Who. A character who can regenerate into different versions of themselves, even now transitioning biologically to a woman. As soon as I saw David Tennant walk out of those blue doors I knew, it was all going to be alright. The idea of gender being binary at all bemuses me as I don’t take that into consideration when meeting someone. Gender in society shouldn’t be as problematic as people make it, gender is a very personal experience. All we can ask is that people can respect what we define ourselves as and be supportive.

It remains difficult for me personally, as I do not fit into the binary, so meeting people and making connections can be difficult. I try to connect to likeminded people who have a level of understanding and kindness to take you in.

I did several webcam skits, as early as five years old, happily entertaining myself whether it was being a newscaster or weatherperson, these were just for me and I dearly treasure them. I am very lucky to have been raised in a safe house, been given a decent upbringing in an affluent area of the country and, certainly, of the world. I was able to get on living.

However, for an individual experience, it was near torture. I was under pressure to excel at school and be ‘successful’ in a certain career path. I had a clock on my head all the time. Everything I was doing was for my family.

I practically forced myself into depression in order to get into the University of Exeter. I had cousins to compare to who were doctors with children, ones who’d reached Oxford and Cambridge. Fortunately,

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I managed to get out of that and return to Falmouth University, where I am much more at home. Although my life, up until recently, has been hell, I am grateful for the almost decade long experience of not being happy.

I’m in a constant state of change and flux, it is difficult to keep face and retain somewhat of a healthy ego; around people or even with myself. I haven’t had the luxury of acting as myself fully; it comes to the point where it seems almost unnatural. One of the main issues was I wasn’t really exposed to the LGBTQAI + community where I grew up, even the Internet was restricted having to follow strict guidelines. Being called ‘gay’, ‘queer’, ‘camp’, ‘a girl’ even, was a deep fear of mine as I hadn’t really had the time nor space to develop that part of me. Now being ‘gay’ is a much wider term, it’s not as binary as I once thought. All in all, throwing gender out of the window, and good riddance. This fear deterred me from many of my passions as a kid, out of fear that I would be found out and then be vindicated by others. I have a very specific memory of arriving at a taster session for Stagecoach which involves acting, dancing and singing, all the class were girls. I decided I couldn’t go through with it and said no to my mum not because I was embarrassed about being the only boy there, not really scared of that at all, but more scared of how I felt internally and I didn’t really know what that meant at the time.

over Christmas. Part of it was having an in-depth conversation with my Dad about a few things relating to what I was going through. He said something to me which will stay with me, “Being gay is just being who you are”. That is the best Christmas present I have ever received.

Looking back, I have experienced homophobia and transphobia unbeknownst to me and anyone who knew me, who I do not blame. As the worst of it was selfinflicting and tragically could’ve been avoided.

However, part of the learning is living through the pain, growing from it and relearning thought processes when it comes to how one feels; knowing that it is real and human. Part of the healing for me is to help others, in ways I couldn’t for myself. I’m inspired to create stories for those who need it, help representation in our media; may that be in film or TV. Helping people understand and empathize those within the LGBTQAI+ community. If you’re thinking of coming out or just starting a journey of self-discovery on your own, remember it is you who is in control of your story. Your time is valuable. Never feel rushed or pressured to start anything you are not comfortable with yet. Seek those who will listen, there are more out there than you think.

I’d like to leave this on a positive. I slowly started to express myself to my family and some of my friends

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tom mcintosh

TOM MCINTOSH

“I use the term queer for myself taking it back and giving it positive meaning”

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I came out as bisexual at the end of my first year at university. After putting that into words and really thinking about it I now know I identify as pansexual, but personally prefer to use the general term of queer.

Personally, I see sexuality as dynamic and ever changing, I can feel slightly different day by day and that’s ok. I don’t have any issue with whatever label people assume of me or use for me because, I guess, in a way I can relate to many. I don’t feel the need to be definitive. I’ve always felt there is far more variation within genders than there is between them.

I struggled as a child, as I’m sure many LGBTQAI+ kids do. I was bullied for something I didn’t really even understand at that point in my life. I was picked on a lot for being feminine and the terms gay and queer were used as slurs at my school a lot. People used those terms against me before I fully understood what they meant and before I even knew I identified with them. This came from me getting on better with girls than guys, enjoying things like gymnastics and drama instead of football. At the time, dance was something I really wanted to get into as well, particularly ballet, but I never did from fear of this bullying getting worse and from fear of not being seen as a man. Now though, I try to own this. I use the term queer for myself taking it back and giving it positive meaning. I do gymnastics, ballet and other dance just to prove to myself that I’m past that time in my life and these things are now the things I enjoy the most. Not only are they activities I love, but I’m also owning who I am at the same time and the people there are so supportive of me being who I am and expressing myself which honestly mean so much to me.

I was not one of the people that knew I was LGBTQAI+ when I was younger. There were signs of it for sure, but it was something I’d never processed. My first memory of actually considering it was at about age 16, I mean, before year ten I didn’t even know there was more ways of identifying than gay or straight. I knew I wasn’t gay but I would question if I was straight from time to time. These thoughts were only occasional and I never knew enough about sexuality or thought about it enough to realise. It suddenly hit me and I had this crazy moment one day walking home from university. Everything just suddenly made a lot of sense and I was just like OMG that is me, I am that… l told my flatmate later that day and I remember saying, “I think I might be” but the more I thought on it and as I started to tell more people, the quicker it became clear to me that that was who I was.

It was Monday 29th April 2019. It just clicked out of nowhere and everything I had been feeling just kind of made sense. It took me four hours to tell someone for the first time. That person was my flatmate and best friend from first year, Jordan, who had the best response and was a big part of me accepting myself because of how normal and supporting her reaction was. The best reactions I ever had were when my friends were just like, “yeah I can see that, good for you” it wasn’t a surprise to them and it changes nothing about how they saw me. It helped me realise that what I was saying was right. A few minutes later, the same friend was like, “OMG did you want me to be more surprised and make a bigger deal out of this?” But the fact it wasn’t this massive surprise made it special.

did was start a conversation with my closest friend; someone who knew me best and even though I didn’t say much and they didn’t either, neither of us needed to. This was something that had always been there. I knew at that moment of putting it into words that I had come to terms with it, and accepted myself.

In a way, I’m fearful writing this because I know people will see it and so more people will know. That idea worried me, but then that worry drove me in turn to want to write this. I don’t want to let the opinions of others be the reason I don’t express myself truly. There was a quote that I saw on Twitter that really resonated with me: “as queer people, we don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us and which parts we have created to protect us.” - Alexander Leon.

The impact homophobia has on us has such longevity, we have to go through a process of rebuilding and reshaping ourselves. Something about coming to terms with it all has made me a much happier and more expressive person. It’s ironic in a way, I wasn’t being my true self to avoid the pain of other people’s opinions. But by not being myself I was making myself unhappy anyway. It’s cliché to say but the only opinion that should matter was my own and in trying to fit a social stereotype I only hurt myself.

I was scared about how the people I told would take it and if my friends would understand but telling them only made me closer to them. It’s the sort of thing that really proves who your true friends are, and I’m blessed to have so much support around me. My journey through this was a fortunate one. I have friends whose journeys through acceptance from themselves, family and friends were so much harder than my own so I make sure that I don’t take for granted how amazing the people around me have been.

To anyone that is unsure, the best thing I ever

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kate fedrick

KATE FEDRICK

“Any acronym- I based discussion minimises certain groups in a way I don’t think is fair”

t’s important to have a voice because it makes it better for others in similar situations. To know that there are other people in support of them and for normalisation within the community. Even if there is no one else who is in a particular role or whatever, the fact that you can be present in someone’s mind makes people more trusting of the group in general. I’ve seen quite a few studies that show that the more familiar you are with a demographic, the more accepting you are of these demographics in general. Being a member of the trans community, or the bi community, or an ethnic community doesn’t just help that community, it widens people’s likelihood of being accepted by all.

The major systemic problems that we face are not at university level. The university can’t really do that much other than punish or reprove all misdemeanors.

They can’t fix the laws around these sorts of things or to fix people’s prejudices. The university is doing what it can but that isn’t much. We’ve got gender neutral toilets dotted around. I haven’t really discussed this much with the university, the only exception being when I was getting my name changed and they just went ahead and did it. I don’t tend to be part of the Falmouth LGBTQAI+ community. I don’t like going out to clubs and such, I’m just generally rather asocial. I’m someone who likes to get stuff done on their own.

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Narrowing down a single point of coming out is very different. There are multiple things that I realised at different times and then since starting HRT (hormone replacement therapy) there have been very distinct changes. The first time I came out as anything beyond just cis het man I was probably about 14. I started calling myself asexual, aromantic and was pretty sure at that point I was non-binary. Then it was only in the last two years that I started thinking beyond that into more trans-feminine sort of positions. It must have been October 2018 when I first said to people that I thought I was transgender, first to a close circle of friends then to a wider circle of friends. At the beginning of last year I started using it in public without actively telling people. On my 21st birthday I changed my name on Facebook and put up a post about it to actually make people aware of this. In March I started HRT. Then after eight years of thinking I was ace, that completely changed in the summer so then I had to come out with all of that as well. So you can’t really pin it down to that I came out on day X because it’s over the course of seven and a half years of not only learning more about myself but fundamentally changing as a part of that development

so you really can’t narrow it down to a single point.

Being out hasn’t made a difference to me in most ways because most people have been okay with it.

It has inconvenienced me, but it hasn’t stopped me from doing anything unless you want to talk about the economic angle, in which case it’s cost a hell of a lot of money. I could have done a lot more stuff with that money had I not needed to get my passport changed so it’s hindered me in that respect. In terms of social life, I’ve not been inhibited.

I really like the word queer. The problem I have with LGBT, LGBTQ+, GRSM (gender sexual minorities) is that as acronyms, you are inherently ranking them. If you have LGBT you are excluding aromantic people, intersex people, people who are questioning about their identities even if you add the plus, which does include them, it minimises them in comparison to other identities. Any acronym-based discussion minimises certain groups in a way I don’t think is fair. I also think it obfuscates what makes the queer community. Queer doesn’t have that problem because it’s just a word. It binds them together. You’ll quite often hear people say why is it LGBT, that’s three sexualities and a gender identity and the fundamental answer is that in the society in which we live it groups them and has expectations of people. This is the oppression of the patriarchy. People are in the same way oppressed by societal norms and that’s what groups LGBT and all the other things together as well.

A collection of random letters is very easily broken apart and doesn’t really express why they are a group.

Queer is a good word because it has a meaning for why things are bound together but also because it doesn’t separate and hierarchically define which groups matter and who needs to be in control. That said, I am aware that some people don’t like queer and it’s not just about me. There are some people that have issues with the word; this may change in the future.

Coming out depends on what you are. If you’re aromantic you don’t need to do anything at all, you just don’t have a girlfriend, and nothing happens. If you are gay, you may not have to come out. You turn up and that’s it. Whereas someone like me who is trans, I will need to express it now what my situation is but five years down the line I may never need to mention it again and just go completely stealth and that’s in my past. If you are someone who is non-binary, if you want people to respect your pronouns you cannot ‘pass’. It’s something you need to do every single day.

This is quite overlooked in terms of coming out. With sexuality, once you’ve done it, it doesn’t stop. People don’t just know. You have to come out every time you mention your partners. Although you don’t have to say it if you are trans (at least if you are a binary trans person) people will often be able to just know. Coming out is often seen as a singular event and then it’s just done, but in reality you have to come out to everyone you meet so it isn’t a singular thing.

I don’t pass yet, I sometimes have if I’ve put in some effort. I know a lot of people who pass. It’s frustrating that people quite often see what I don’t want them to see. That’s inevitable at this stage. It’s been eight months so I don’t think it’s something I can avoid.

People are always going to make assumptions even if you don’t want them to. That’s not necessarily an LGBTAI+ issue, it’s a wider issue of which the queer community is affected by as much as anyone else. The fact that people need to pass at all, and we can’t just use neutral terms until you’ve said is inconvenient but it’s also just a fact of life. I don’t think there is an easy solution.

Interviewed By Amelia Banton

Labels are neither a negative or positive thing. They can be negative, but I think everyone who is trying to say "oh let’s get rid of labels" is rather naïve. A label such as lesbian is a lot more convenient than explaining yourself every single time. Labels aren’t inherently harmful but they can be abused. That needs to be looked at. I’ve seen quite a lot of discourse around labels but it still remains useful that we have words to describe who we are. Visibility and language are two of the most important things.

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THE VOICES ROUNDTABLE

be yourself. It actually ruined my life to be closeted so that is why I am trying to be more vocal about it.

I want everyone to realise there are Rory: I identify as male and people in the same place.

I am transgender male. My sexuality is ... I don’t really know. I have been Rory: I am quite a vocal person transgender since I was 14 and now anyway, but I am not a very actively I’m 20. vocal person here and I am sort of chill about everything. But as a Aquarius: I identify as male and I trans person, I am fine with talking was born male. I knew I was bisexual about it as a lot of people don’t since the end of year nine, the start know a lot about it and a of year ten. But I did not come out lot of people are ignorant but not until I was in college. transphobic. I have to be quite confident and talk to them about it.

Bear: I identify as male and I am But also, in the [LGBT] community, a trans guy. I came out when I was transgender people aren’t well 12. But I spent a good period of my represented, you have to talk about life stealth until I hated it. If you it to get represented. don’t know what stealth means, it is when trans people are assumed to Charlie: I think it is very be cisgender. I had a really tough important to talk about it in the time with that. I also identify as community. The way I do it is pansexual because I don’t give a just by it coming up in regular crap for someone’s gender. I also conversation. I talk about it a lot, identify as demisexual which is which some may hate, but because more relevant to how I feel sexually I was in the closet for so long, I just attractive-wise to people. It is like in want to talk about it all the time to the grey area of asexual, so I am not make up for that time. But it is sexually attracted to people unless I really important to have events to have an emotional bond with them. remember its importance.

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hat do you identify as?

Charlie: I identify as gay and I could also be put in the box of pansexual or demisexual with guys.

But I don’t like to label myself as things change day to day. Generally though, I go as gay or queer. I also identify as female, but I’m still figuring that one out.

Why is it important to be a vocal member of your community?

Aquarius: I grew up in a very heterosexual town and I was discriminated against for having hints of bisexuality in secondary school. I don’t want anyone to feel like just because you are getting discriminated against, you cannot

Bear: I am vocal to an extent. I think that there are a lot of issues outside and within the LGBT community like TERFs that need addressing. You would think that the LGBT community is a safe space so when things like that arise, it is frustrating. It is important to be vocal because some people struggle to adapt to everything changing and react negatively. You get abuse issues like ‘Straight Pride’ and some people are ignorant, so being vocal is about teaching people to understand. That is why I am a part of the LGBTQ society for this campus to enforce safety being an older person and being further along compared to some of the other students we get here. You get

the instinct of wanting to protect them, they are all my babies. I was able to take students up to Bristol for Trans Pride and we marched in the parade, but it is more like a protest than a typical Gay Pride event.

Are you frustrated by the focus on educating people?

Bear: I don’t think it is just a Pride thing, it is the same with race, religion and culture. If they don’t understand, you have to teach them to understand how are they supposed to know. But it is difficult, it takes a toll on your mental health and it is the main issue we see in the community.

People having to teach, particularly from a young age, 13-year olds having to shout at 40-year-olds on the internet who are saying disgusting stuff when they are trying to teach them. We want to be proud of who we are, but we are in a position where we have to teach and encourage peace in a way.

Rory: It is a personal burden. I don’t engage with trans issues on social media really but the people around me teach and it does get tiring. They ask questions that you would not ask people normally.

I get asked a lot about which bathroom I go into, why do you need to know that? But growing older, I am more okay with it, I am more open to things and I get why it is not well-known. It is very difficult to Google information because everyone’s experience of being trans is different. It is tiring especially when I was younger. I wasn’t as confident in my identity, I was fighting it as people thought “you don’t look male so why are you telling me that you are male”, but I am. But you kind of have to take on the burden to be accepted.

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THE VOICES ROUNDTABLE

LGBTQ short films on YouTube, many about trans people and then this character came on TV and reflected all these feelings I had.

Little things like this help people to connect their emotions and realise their situation.

Aquarius: There was a TV character and a big icon in the community, played by John Barrowman on Doctor Who and Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness.

I watched Doctor Who and Torchwood when I was growing up and his character was aggressively pansexual. Watching him I realised that I feel like that sometimes.

When I read more about the character, I discovered that John Barrowman is gay, and he created a charity to support homeless LGBT youth. It inspired me to come out, but I had to go back in because of the response I got. Another person is Sara Lance from DC Legends of Tomorrow who is an assassin on the show but also, she is a bisexual character. The show explored her struggling with her identity and eventually settling with it.

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hateful and I just want to leave the conversation. But you just want them to have some information to think about where they decide.

Laura: I think being in a minority is a gift and seeing it as a burden is a decision. But I would say education is essential here though and it is all about where the funding is and who is pulling the strings.

When have you represented in the media?

Charlie: I personally love if someone asks because some people are not coming from a place of hate but rather a lack of understanding. If people ask, I am quite happy to answer, it is like bringing them into the community a bit. But there is a different side with people being aggressive and

Bear: There was the first trans character on Hollyoaks that I saw as a kid. Jason. I had already heard about these things as I spent time at school looking through dictionaries for the “sexual” terms like homosexuality and I came across the word. But it did not make sense to me. I watched

felt

Charlie: I can’t remember a turning point of seeing something on TV, I think that I got an idea first from the people around, but it was difficult. Women are generally close, so it was confusing, do you feel something because you are good friends, or it is romantic. The switch was when I fancied someone on Big Brother, I thought it is not about wanting to be you but a different feeling. It was a confusing part of my teenage years, I watched gay TV shows, I watched Lip Service and The L World, two lesbianfocused TV shows. They were good but they were surface-level stuff.

But I watched Ellen DeGeneres’s show and it was really a turning point because she hit the deep

issues like being in the closet and going to therapy. If you don’t know others going through the same things, it can be very isolating. You have to search for representation.

Rory: I watched Alex Birdey who is a trans male Youtuber and he pretty much informed me on everything that I needed to know at the beginning of my transition.

How to bind, where to get binders, packers, the emotional issues, videos on how to have sex with trans people, that kind of thing, so he was pretty much where I got a lot of my information and then I sort of Googled from there really, just figured it out by myself. I didn’t really have anyone mentoring me. I didn’t watch that much telly, but I didn’t find positive representation. There was a lot of sort of stereotypical ‘transsexuals’ so I had already formed my ideas of what trans was before I knew what it was, so it was very confusing. Then I realised that that was just sort of people being a bit, I don’t know, transphobic. There’s a lot more out there but I don’t really watch telly so.

Bear: I think that it’s It’s such an empowering. empowering word and thing to say.

Charlie: Really you think so?

Bear: Yeah, definitely!

Charlie: Yeah, because she wanted to take back the word and use it in normal language. But where I haven’t heard it before, I don’t like the word. But queer is a more widely used word than dyke is. And it includes everyone.

Bear: If you use the word queer, you can acknowledge who is probably not heterosexual and not cis gender as well. So, I can say I’m queer, because I’m trans and pansexual. So, I believe it encompasses the whole thing rather than saying I’m LGBTQ or Pride.

Laura: When you were saying earlier that you think Pride is heterosexual.

Laura: I would agree with that because I have more male friends who will go to pride events just so they can put the rainbow on their face, and Instagram the shit out of it and blah blah blah. Which is fine. But I feel like now, the letters LGBTQ have lost their significance, similarly to sustainability.

Bear: Yeah, you would never see an advertisement for Pride other than when it is Gay Pride month.

You would never see them use the word queer so when you see the LGBTQ community using the word queer, it’s like we’re taking back and is kind of a big f**k you to everyone else. Because it’s not being publicised.

Laura: Following fashion, things from the 70s, 80s, and 90s are coming back around. And I feel like queer is linked to the culture around that time and is just following the natural cycle.

Bear: It can be quite. Yes.

Is the term ‘queer’ a slur or an identity?

Bear: I think it depends on the context of how it’s said. Like for many things, the term ‘gay’ can be hugely used as a derogative term.

But I think it is slowly being taken back by the community.

Charlie: I personally love it as an umbrella term. I used to use gay as an umbrella term, but it doesn’t include the whole spectrum as it just defines homosexual men, but the term queer is very broad. I have a friend who uses the word dyke in a-

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THE VOICES ROUNDTABLE

What do you think about queer being used in academia?

Bear: Depends what the contents are about, but I think it sounds interesting. If it is about the history of the LGBTQ community, then I think it’s great and that people should learn about that. But that doesn’t sound like the word queer is being used in a derogative term. I think it’s great and should be used more often. But that’s my opinion personally and is very different for each person. Some people like to use it and some people don’t. I know people who don’t use the term gay because it’s too mainstream for them.

Aquarius: For A Level we studied something called the ‘male gaze’, and then we went on to talk about something called the ‘queer gaze’ which discusses anyone attracted to anything. For example, a man attracted to a girl in a bikini would be classified as the male gaze, but a man attracted to another man in swim shorts would be the queer gaze. And I love that term and used it in all my media essays. I believe the term was coined by a gay man and love that we are taking it back for our own culture.

Visit https://www.voicesproject. net for the full round table transcript

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

DIRECTOR

Allie Guy

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Thais Cardon

MANAGING/WEB EDITOR

Albert Duker

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

JOURNALISTS

Kabejja Ganya Amelia Banton Kenisha Ganesh Emily Burdett EVENTS COORDINATOR

Izzy Sanders

EVENTS ASSISTANT

Laura Nesbitt

Sam Taylor

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR

Grace Levey Rosie Sheppard

Marian Akinbohun

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Elizabeth Barrett Bethan Evans

Thank you to all the following for their contribution to this issue of Voices: LJ Ellam, Charlie Halfhide, Matt Taylor Grey, Iona Hazelhurst, Luke Conlin, Lachlan Mykura, Jae Atlas Holland.

Brooke Clark, Sinead Rose O’brien, Eros Richardson, Hannah Whittock, Jing Coulson, Lucy Scott, Sebastian Davis, Tom Mcintosh, Kate Fedrick, Charlotte Watson, Bear, Aquarius Robinson, Benedict Barnes-Labbett, Millie Wiley, Rory Prestt

Find the full interviews and transcripts at voicesproject.net Our thanks go to the SU for their constant and ongoing support in facilitating this project and to the University of Exeter.

Thanks to Studytel, who has generously sponsored the printing of this publication.

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The views expressed in this publication are the individuals’ own and do not reflect those of the universities, The SU and the team involved in its production.