Each and every year, thousands of babies are born in the Chippewa Valley. That’s quite a workout for the stork as well as for the parents who take these little bouncing bundles home. Whether you’re a first-timer or have gone down this adorable (and challenging!) road before, this annual special section will provide you with interesting insights and resources to help polish up those parenting skills.
COVER PHOTO BY LACI EBERLE PHOTOGRAPHY
Parenting a new baby can be a stressful, isolating time marked by sleep deprivation, diaper blowouts, and the sometimes challenging experience of breastfeeding.
And that was before the COVID-19 pandemic knocked every aspect of life on its ear. Just ask Kylie Mar tens, who was expected her second child in early 2020.
“I’m a learn-from-my-own-mistakes kind of gal,” said Martens, who lives in Bloomer. “With my first (child), I really struggled with resources and with our breastfeeding journey and figuring it out. I did it the hard way.” But when Baby No. 2 was on the way, “I said I was going to do everything right, I was going to do all the support things.” She had lined up numerous resources for help: La Leche League, a postpar tum doula, the Family Resource Center, and Mama Bear Lactation Care, an Eau Claire business oper ated by Jennifer Hafele.
Martens’ daughter, Lila, was born March 8, 2020. Within a week, the world shut down because of COVID-19.
“It was kind of a kick in the pants,” Martens said. “My ‘Type A’ (person ality) was on point, and then every thing went by the wayside.”
Fortunately for Martens and doz ens of other moms in the Chippewa Valley and beyond, Hafele created the Mama Bear Online Breastfeed ing Support Group that same month.
For the past year and a half, the free group has offered weekly Mic rosoft Teams meetings, providing a lifeline in an isolated, untethered world. Martens called the group an “incredible treasure” that’s helped her laugh and cry through supper times, bath times, and every time in between.
“At least that day of the week I could be with people going through a similar situation,” Martens said. “The rest of the week I was hanging out with my husband, and he doesn’t know how to use his nipples, so we didn’t have much to talk about.”
Hafele, a mother of three, has been a volunteer peer breastfeeding counselor since 2011. In more recent years, she decided to became an International Board Certified Lac tation Consultant and to form Mama Bear Lactation Care. She opened her business in October 2019, and began making home visits and offer ing classes. The pandemic put a fork in her path: Would she shut down the business or would she adapt? She took the latter option.
On March 25, 2020, she started her first free online class, putting out a call on Facebook. The group grew organically from there: Some weekly meetings have drawn more than 20 participants, through the average in eight to 10. Roughly 200 people have taken part at least once, and about 90 have joined a Facebook discussion group called “Jennifer’s Mama Bear Den.”
The gatherings are different every week. Sometimes they are an open forum for discussions about top ics such as the highs and lows of breastfeeding (including sore nip ples, pumping, and bottle feeding), sleep, bath time, or baby wearing.
Hafele sometimes prepares a topic to discuss (such as the latest milk storage guidelines), while at other times she’ll bring in guests to speak to the group about everything from mater nal mental health to pelvic floor issues.
supportive, nonjudgmental space.
Hafele said she suffered from post partum depression herself after the birth of her third child. However, she didn’t recognize it until nine months later.
“That’s a big driver for me – mak ing sure community is available for all of us,” she said.
“We don’t have to pretend that everything is peachy keen all the time in Mom Land,” Hafele said. Overall, the intention is to create a
And that community has helped participants make in through the past 18 months.
After Traci Grinker gave birth to her son, Everett, in April 2020, he experienced oral functioning issues that made it difficult for him to breastfeed. Hafele was part of
“We don’t have to pretend that everything is peachy keen all the time in Mom Land.”
a team, which included a pediatric dentist, who helped make Grinker’s breastfeeding journey successful. The online group also has helped Grinker form lasting friendships.
“Through this group we found the support we needed when we couldn’t go out in public and meet with people and meet with mom groups,” she said.
“Jennifer and the Mama Bear Den have been the most amazing support group I could have ever asked for,” Grinker added. “The core group of ladies offered endless sup port during issues we were facing: sleeping, breastfeeding, pumping – basi cally anything we needed. We would hold each other up during middle-of-the-night feedings and send each other funnies to help get through the days.”
Because it’s online, the group has been able to transcend the geographi cal limits of the Chippewa Valley.
Even though she lives in the eastern Wisconsin town of Omro – a threehour drive from Eau Claire – Emily Wilson was able to take part in the virtual meetings, hoping to have a better experience breastfeeding her second child, Levi, than she had with her first. “Jennifer’s weekly group allowed me to share my struggles and get feedback and tips from oth ers in the group in an extremely safe and convenient setting,” Wilson said. “I think it’s import ant to note that in my situa tion, I live 175 miles from Eau Claire and therefore wouldn’t have met Jennifer or the other mamas in the group had it not been for the pandemic and the support group. That being said, I feel like I know everyone like they live much closer!”
Every breastfeeding expe rience is different, group members said, and everyone from first-time moms to experi enced veterans can benefit from advice and assistance.
Rae Simmerman – who gave birth to her son, Jack, in April 2020 – said the group saved her relationship with breast feeding. She was a first-time
mom, and no one in her personal circle has breastfed successfully. “I needed women in my life who could help me,” she explained.
The group, Simmerman said, helped her avoid complete isolation. “When you have a baby in a pandemic, you’re completely alone,” she said. “You’re afraid to go anywhere.”
A mother of six – including her most recent, a pair of twins – Jenn Kilmur ray of Eau Claire also found breastfeed ing a chal lenge. “It can be hard to struggle with some thing like breastfeed ing when it is thought of as ‘natural’ or ‘easy,’ ” she said. “I had no idea there was such a strong community of women anywhere, let alone here in the Chippewa Valley, before having children.”
“The days and nights have been long,” she added, “but we’re finally making progress. I can easily pop onto a Zoom meeting and be sur rounded by people who are walking the same path I am and get tips, tricks, and a supportive cyber shoul der when I need it.”
Depending on the course of the pan demic, Hafele hopes to begin hosting more in-person support groups and classes. (She also serves expectant families through a prenatal education course series called Confident Birth & Beyond.)
“It feeds my soul and bring me a lot of joy,” Hafele said of her work with mothers and babies. “It’s valuable to me that I am helping one family at a time, but that individual family help translates into community health over time as that ripple moves out.”
As the online group reaches the 18-month mark, it has grown and change. Participants have come and gone. Some are now pregnant again, while parents of brand-new little ones have joined. Despite the passage of time, Hafele doesn’t foresee ending the group in the near future.
“I’m not going to sleep well at night if I don’t continue it,” Hafele said.
Learn more about Mama Bear Lactation Care and Jennifer Hafele at mamabearlactationcare.com, (715) 204-4060, Jennifer@MamaBearLacta tionCare.com, or by searching for the business on Facebook.
“The core group of ladies offered endless support during issues we were facing: sleeping, breastfeeding, pumping – basically anything we needed.”
Traci Grinker (right, with Everett)
“When you have a baby in a pandemic, you’re completely alone.”
Rae Simmerman (left, with Jack)
research shows that parents who get help are more likely to breastfeed
WORDS: E.C. CITY-COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT
Breastfeeding gives babies the healthiest start in life. However, breastfeeding can be challenging for many families. In Wisconsin, around 1 in 4 babies is fed only breastmilk for the first 6 months of life. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends feeding babies only breastmilk until they are about 6 months old, and then continuing to breastfeed while intro ducing solid foods until the child is 12 months or older.
Mothers who receive support from healthcare providers, the com munity, at work, and from family, friends, and peers are more likely to breastfeed. Community-wide support for breastfeeding helps families and can improve breastfeeding rates.
Here’s how you can support breastfeeding moms:
• Give words of encouragement when she’s having breastfeeding difficulties.
• Create a comfortable home envi ronment where she can practice and get used to breastfeeding.
• Take on additional household chores.
• Bring any needed items during a nursing session, like water, a snack, her phone, or a book.
• Attend a breastfeeding class with her.
• If she’s pumping, take over the night feeding by warming and feeding a previously expressed bottle of breastmilk.
The WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) program offers many ben efits for pregnant and breastfeeding moms (and their children up to age 5). In addition to food benefits, WIC staff provide breastfeeding classes, breastfeeding peer counseling and support.
“All WIC staff are trained to pro mote breastfeeding and provide the necessary resources and support that new breastfeeding mothers and infants need for success,” said Lexie Tuma, a public health nutritionist at the Eau Claire City-County Health Department. “WIC staff provide sup port by giving reassurance, praise, information, and the opportunity for women to receive help with breast feeding and ask questions.”
For questions about breastfeeding, breastfeeding support, or to see if you qualify for the WIC program, contact the Eau Claire City-County Health Department WIC Program at (715) 839-5051 or visit parenting. echealthdepartment.org.
Parents, did you realize that children develop essential skills that help them learn how to read long before formal reading instruction begins?
These are called early literacy skills, and they include vocabulary, print motivation, phonological awareness, print awareness, letter knowledge, and narrative skills.
How do children gain these skills, exactly? The answer is simple. Through everyday nurturing interactions with you! When you talk, read, sing, and play with your children, you are helping them build these foundational skills, and you’re strengthening your bond with your child in the process. Win, win!
Your talk has the power to build your child’s brain. While it is important to talk to your child, research shows it is more impactful to talk with
your child. This is true even for infants, whose crying and smiling, cooing and bab bling is part of early language and social development! How can you effectively talk with your baby, toddler, or preschool-aged child? The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University created a handy fivestep process for engaging your young children in back-and-forth or “serve and return” conversations:
1. Notice the serve and share the child’s focus of attention.
2. Return the serve by supporting & encouraging.
3. Give it a name!
4. Take turns … and wait. Keep the interaction going back and forth.
5. Practice endings and beginnings.
Check out examples and learn how each step in this process impacts child development by visiting
the Center on the Developing Child (tinyurl.com/ azz7npdc).
Another useful model for talking with your children comes from the University of Chicago’s Thirty Million Words (TMW) program, where researchers have developed the 3T’s for communi cating with children and building their brains.
The 3T’s are simply:
1. Tune in.
2. Talk more.
3. Take turns.
Notice how the first step in the 3T’s and the serve and return models aren’t about talking at all. The first step is not about getting your child to pay attention to something you are interested in. Importantly, the first step is about observing your child and tuning into what it is that they are focused on. Once you discover their focus of atten
tion, you can share in that experience with them by talking about it. TMW offers practical strategies for communicating with babies, toddlers, and 2and 3-year-olds that include the following:
1. DESCRIBE what your child is seeing, hear ing, tasting, touching, or smelling.
2. NARRATE your activities with your child. “Don’t just do it, talk your child through it!”
3. BOOK SHARE! Talk about the illustrations, what the characters are doing/feeling, etc.
4. MATH TALK. Build early math concepts by discussing numbers, sizes, shapes, compari sons, etc.
For additional strategies and to see how they look in action, visit Thirty Million Words (tmwcen ter.uchicago.edu/parents).
Lastly, while positive and responsive interac tions are ideal for development, managing chal lenging behaviors is a normal part of parenting. Thankfully, the Family Resource Center offers a research-based parenting program called “Triple P” for all parents of children ages 0-12 that helps parents build strong relationships with their chil dren, manage stress, and encourage healthy hab its. Learn more by visiting the Family Resource Center (www.frcec.org/triple-p)
Enjoy talking with your child! Find information and tips about the other early literacy practices in our blog posts about reading, singing, and playing, which you can find at www.ecpubliclibrary.info/kids.
Jerissa Koenig is the early literacy outreach librar ian for the L.E. Phillips Memorial Public Library’s Youth Services division. She holds degrees in both child psychology and library and information stud ies. You can read more from Jerissa and her fellow librarians at www.ecpubliclibrary.info/kids.
Your talk has the power to build your child’s brain. While it is important to talk to your child, research shows it is more impactful to talk with your child.
WORDS: BRIANA NOVACEK
Having a baby is a huge transitional event that changes so much about a couple’s lifestyle and schedule. From late-night fast-food runs to 2am diaper changes and from din ner dates to Netflix dates on the couch, life sure changes. For the friend or family member of a new parent, it can be unclear what will be helpful. You may be wondering, Do they need my help? And what would I do anyway?
Having experienced the newborn phase myself, I have several ideas for you to be of help to new parents.
FEED THEM. This one is at the top of the list for a reason. With the exhaustion of constant feedings and diaper changes, no one feels like cooking. If you make a meal for your new parent friends and bring it to them, or buy them food from their favor ite restaurant, they’ll love you forever. (Check out
mealtrain.com to set up an organized system for volunteers to bring meals.)
FEED THEM, PART TWO. Even though new parents might not feel like cooking, they will still need groceries. But even getting out of the house to shop can feel overwhelming. With grocery pickup, it’s easy! Your friend can order what they want online, and then you can be the hero, pick it up and bring it to them!
CLEAN THEIR HOUSE. Many of us struggle to keep our homes clean without a newborn, but if you’re sleep deprived, cleaning will definitely be on the back burner. Go over to the new parent’s house and do their dishes or a load of laundry. Not very into cleaning yourself? Check out a local cleaning service.
HOLD BABY WHILE MOM OR DAD TAKE A NAP OR A SHOWER. Rest and “me time” can be hard to
come by as a new parent. All you have to do to give that gift to your friend is hold their cute baby for a few minutes.
BUY THEM DIAPERS AND WIPES. You can never have too many, I promise. Just check ahead for what size they’re using and their favorite brand.
GIVE THEM SPACE – DON’T OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME. If you stop by to see new parents and the baby, just make sure not to settle in too much. Remember, they’re sleep deprived and exhausted. Say hello, hopefully drop off some food or clean something, and be on your merry way.
Aside from this practical list, the best thing you can do for a new parent is to let them know that you’ve got their back. Personally, I will always remember the people who were there for me during those early baby days. Small acts of love make a big difference.
Last year at this time, people were wondering aloud whether the pandemic lockdown would lead to a baby boom (i.e., Netflix + plenty of time to chill = the pitter patter of little feet). Now, demographers tell us, it hasn’t – if anything, birth rates dipped a little during the end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021.
Nonetheless, lots of people the world over –including here in Wisconsin – continued to have babies last year, pandemic be damned. And despite comedic speculation that there might be a surge in newborns with names like “Corona” and “Quarantino,” the names that rose to the top of the rankings were actually quite familiar: Not only were many of them popular the previous year, but they were trending back in the 1930s, too.
Yes, Grandma and Grandpa names are hip again.
Consider the No. 3 Wisconsin girls name, Evelyn: On a nationwide basis, until a few years ago that
hadn’t cracked the 20 most popular names since 1930. Likewise, the boys’ No. 3 moniker, Henry, reached the nationwide Top 20 in 2017 after a 90-year drought. (That’s a comeback story worthy of the Chicago Cubs.)
For the third consecutive year, Oliver and Liam provided a one-two punch at top of the list of Bad ger State boys’ names. (We just hope Oliver and Liam aren’t punching it out it preschool in a few years.) They were followed by that classic favor ite, Henry, and then William. (Fun fact: “Liam” is shortened Irish form of “William.”)
On the girls’ side, Charlotte finally hit No. 1 in Wisconsin after gradually climbing up the list in recent years. (It was second in 2019 and fifth the year before that.) Olivia slipped to No. 2, just ahead of the old favorite, Evelyn.
Day care teachers, get the name tags ready!
Jack
Owen
Noah Eleanor
Source: U.S. Social Security Administration
LISTINGS: JAMES JOHONNOTT
Confident Birth Childbirth Education • confidentbirthwi.com Birth classes with an emphasis on natural birth options. Learn about the stages of labor, positions, techniques, complica tions, postnatal education, and more.
HSHS St. Joseph’s and Sacred Heart Hospitals Prenatal Classes 2661 County Highway I, Chippewa Falls • (715) 7231811 • stjoeschipfalls.org/Events-Class es HSHS St. Joseph’s offers a variety of birthing classes free of charge. Classes fill up quickly, so it’s advised to register 3-4 months in advance. Options include a prenatal series class, prenatal Saturdays, prenatal refresher, breastfeeding, and a prenatal sibling class.
Mayo Clinic Birthing Classes 1400 Bellinger St., Eau Claire • (715) 838-5369
• mayohealthsystem.org Mayo Clinic offers free family and prenatal classes. Class options in clude breastfeeding classes, birth basics, newborn care, and more.
Prenatal Yoga at Latitude 44 Yoga Studio 313 E. Madison St., Eau Claire • (715) 828-3936 • latitude44yoga.com This class is designed to strengthen and support your body throughout your pregnancy. Meditation, breath, and movement are used to focus on awareness and muscles that are key to a healthy pregnancy and labor. Connect with your body’s innate wisdom and other moms-to-be in the area.
Apple Pregnancy Care Center 2600 Stein Blvd., Eau Claire • (715) 834-7734 • vol unteer@applepcc.org • applepcc.org AP PLE assists women with caring, counseling and information to help provide those with unplanned pregnancies the facts and services that will help them make choices they can live with.
Doulas of the Valley • (715) 563-3860
• rachealulbergdoula@yahoo.com • doulasofthevalley.com Doulas are non medical professionals that provide handson, educational, and emotional support to parents during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. We also offer a variety of specialty services including in-home care for high-risk mothers or those on bed rest during pregnancy, childbirth and newborn classes, and private consultations.
HSHS Sacred Heart Hospital Women and Infants Center 900 West Clairemont Ave., Eau Claire • 715-717-4156 • sacredheart eauclaire.org Choose your birth experi ence and receive care from highly-trained nurses and doctors. We offer spacious birthing suites for labor, delivery, recovery and postpartum care; overnight accom modations for partners; water birth tubs; birthing hammocks; innovative technology; special infant security system and free prenatal classes. Midwives and doulas welcome.
HSHS St. Joseph’s Hospital Women and Infants Center 2661 County Hwy I, Chip pewa Falls • 715-717-7421 • stjoeschip
falls.org Highly-trained nurses and doctors are focused on providing the best birth experience for you and your family. Offer ing comfortable, private labor and delivery suites; spacious showers; large sleeping accommodations for partners; innovative technology; special infant security system and free prenatal classes. Midwives and doulas welcome.
Marshfield Clinic - Birthing Services 2116 Craig Rd, Eau Claire • (715) 8584500 • marshfieldclinic.org Providing dedicated and experienced midwives for women’s health care needs.
Mayo Clinic Health System 1400 Bell inger Street, Eau Claire • (715) 838-6100 • mayoclinichealthsystem.org Featuring certified nurse midwives.
OakLeaf Clinics 1110 Oak Ridge Dr, Eau Claire • (715) 836-9020 • info.obgyn clinicec@oakleafclinics.com • oakleaf clinics.com Provides exceptional care for all phases of a woman’s life. Dr. Irfane Khatib’s philosophy has always been that the patient is first. They continue to focus on the patient’s unique health needs in staying healthy.
Southside Medical Clinic 714 W Ham ilton Ave, Eau Claire • (715) 830-9990, OB/GYN (715) 836-9242 • southsidemed icalclinic.com Southside Medical Clinic provides high-quality medical care in a comfortable family-friendly environment. OB/GYN services include infertility evalu ations and treatment, surgeries, hormone therapy, birth control, and management of menstrual issues.
Child Care Partnership 418 Wisconsin St., Eau Claire • (715) 836-7511 ext. 1188 • Becca.Elbert@wdeoc.org • Child CarePartnership.org A resource and referral agency that works with parents by providing a list of child care providers that is customized to their family’s needs and the area they live. They work with child care providers to assess their pro gram qualities, provide training on early childhood education, and work with other community agencies.
Family Resource Center for Eau Claire County 4800 Golf Rd., Ste. 450, Eau Claire • (715) 833-1735 • frcec.org Locat ed in the Sears wing of the Oakwood Mall, the mission of the Family Resource Center is to provide programs and services that build on family strengths through preven tion, education, support and networking in collaboration with other resources in the community.
Family Support Center 403 N. High St., Chippewa Falls • (715) 723-1138 • family support@fsccf.org • familysupportcenter cf.com Provides free services and support to families that are struggling with issues such as domestic assault, sexual assault, parental conflicts, and difficulty managing children.
River Source Family Center 403 High Street, Chippewa Falls • (715) 720-1841 • riversourcefamilycenter.com The mission of River Source Family Center is to em brace and strengthen families with young children by promoting growth through education, information, referral, and op portunities to share experiences.
