1117: Model of Diversity

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Tuckingham // 6 Suiting up // 11

#1117 / MARCH 23, 2017 – MAR 29, 2017 VUEWEEKLY.COM

ISSUE: 1117 • MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

TAPAVINO // 5

PAUL MECURIO // 7

MODELS OF DIVERSITY // 10

SUITING UP // 11

Meet local author

LYDIA R. BRODIE

Discover th e secret of in ner wisdom and alchemize y our prosperity!

FRONT // 3 DISH // 5 ARTS // 6 FILM // 9 FASHION // 10 MUSIC // 12

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ARTS // 8 MUSIC // 16 EVENTS // 18 ADULT // 20 CLASSIFIED // 21

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VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

FRONT DYERSTRAIGHT

GWYNNE DYER // GWYNNE@VUEWEEKLY.COM

A short generation in Scotland

Leader Nicola Sturgeon announces second referendum for independence

M

aybe they reach sexual maturity very young in Scotland.

What else could explain the fact that they are going to have another referendum on Scottish independence only three years after the last one?

The Scottish referendum on independence in 2014 was supposed to be a once-in-a-generation event.

That was the one thing that thenBritish Prime Minister David Cameron and then-Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond agreed on—even a one-vote majority would settle the matter for a generation.

In fact, the majority to stay in the United Kingdom was close to half a million. It couldn’t have been a clearer outcome. There was none of the obfuscation for which Quebec’s referendums on independence from Canada were famous (like the 106-word question in the 1980 referendum that did not even mention the word “independence”).

The referendum in Scotland simply asked: “Should Scotland be an independent country”—and the Scots said "No" by a 55 percent to 45 percent majority. But only 30 months later, the next generation

of Scots must already have arrived.

Nicola Sturgeon—Alex Salmond’s successor as leader of the Scottish National Party and First Minister of the Scottish government—announced that there will be a second referendum on Scottish independence in late 2018 or early 2019.

She didn’t even have the grace to say best two out of three.

It’s Sturgeon’s job to promote the idea of independence, of course, but she needed a plausible pretext to demand a re-run of Scotland’s own referendum so soon. The English nationalists who committed the entire United Kingdom to leaving the European Union in last June’s referendum gave her that pretext: 53 percent of the English voted to leave the EU, but 62 percent of Scots voted to stay.

Why such a difference? Because the “Little Englanders” who voted to leave were seduced by the neoElizabethan fantasy of a swashbuckling, free-trading England that would stay rich by living on its wits. (Unlike the real Elizabethan England of 400 years ago, whose major foreign source of income was piracy).

Scotland was never a great power, and it views the European Union as an economic and political safe haven. A large majority of Scots have no desire to leave the EU—especially if they are being dragged out of it by the gravely deluded English.

Sturgeon can reasonably say that there has been a “material change of circumstances” since the first Scottish referendum, and claim that this change justifies another one. However, her claim is seriously undermined by the fact that Scots are opposed to another referendum, even under current circumstances, by a three-to-two majority. The whole referendum process is just too painful and divisive.

Moreover, there has been another “material change of circumstances” that hurts the case for Scottish independence. Low oil prices and the gradual depletion of the North Sea oil fields have cut the Scottish government’s tax take from North Sea oil revenue from $14.2 billion in 200809 to only $2.2 billion in 2015 and a mere $73 million this year. The oil income that subsidised Scotland’s high social spending is finished.

Then there is the fact that the European Union is made up of sov-

apply for membership and then the allies will decide.” But that would certainly take years.

The future looks distinctly unpromising for an independent Scotland that breaks away from the United Kingdom just as the UK pulls out of Europe. (It hardly looks golden for England either). The Scots didn’t vote yes for independence even when there was no Brexit in the picture.

Why would they do it now?

One reason would simply be anger at the arrogance and stupidity of the Little Englanders who have presented them with this unpalatable choice. But there is little enthusiasm in Scotland for independence on these terms. Most Scots just wish the whole question would go away.

ereign states, and that such states instinctively cooperate to discourage and punish separatism in any of their members. Brussels has plainly stated that an independent Scotland would not automatically retain EU membership.

This is the “Barroso doctrine”—that if any part of an existing EU country becomes an independent state it has to apply for membership—and the European Commission has just reconfirmed that Scotland would be subject to this rule. The application process for new members normally takes many years.

So an independent Scotland could find itself outside the EU single market because of Brexit, and outside the British single market as well because of its secession from the United Kingdom. Scotland exports four times as much to the ROUK (Rest of the United Kingdom) as it does to the EU, so this could spell economic disaster.

At the same time, Scotland would also find itself outside NATO, the main Western alliance. As Jens Stoltenberg, the Nato Secretary General, told Sky News: “By leaving the UK, (Scotland) would also leave NATO. Of course it is absolutely possible to

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UP FRONT 3

FRONT ASHLEY DRYBURGH // ASHLEY@VUEWEEKLY.COM

Crusade against Alberta GSA Network Blogger spits venom directly targeting Gay-Straight Alliance website

L

ast week felt a lot like Christmas. And no, it wasn’t because of all of the snowfall (although that helped), it was because my favourite pearl-clutching homophobe dropped another notorious (and hilarious) blog post.

In case you didn’t hear: Theresa Ng, the author of the blog Informed Albertans, released a blog post pointing out that Alberta GSA Network, a website that provides resources to Gay-Straight Alliances in schools, contained links to community organizations which in turn sometimes link to sexually graphic material.

She vents particular spleen against Kris Wells and the Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services (iSMSS), demanding that the Alberta Government defunds iSMSS and removes any influence it might have over curriculum development because it cannot be “trusted with the safety of our K-12 students.”

Over the course of her post, she uses the phrase “K-12” 21 times,

in case you became confused that she doesn’t just mean 18-year-old grade 12 students, but also probably illiterate five-year-olds.

If you can ignore the disquieting attitude behind it, her post is a hilarious treasure trove of unreasonable hysteria.

She opens her post with lovinglycopied examples of links Fruit Loop shared on its Facebook page (which requires users to be 13 years old, just sayin’).

My favourite is a spoof article from HuffPo: “Super Practical Sex Positions Everyone Can Try at Home.” The accompanying illustration (which includes models doing back-to-back handstands) underlines the irony in the title.

“Unbelievably,” she writes, “it only

of dick.) None of it was paid for with taxpayers' dollars! What a world we live in.

Theresa’s crusade was joined by her bestie Donna Trimble, associated with Parents for Choice. In a CBC interview with (local hero) Andrea Huncar, Trimble notes that she filed a report to police about this issue. The logic here is that we cannot use taxpayers’ dollars to fund GSA websites, but we can use them to have the police … I don’t even know what, to be honest. Perhaps officers could better spend their time looking for irony which has been reported missing.

Although I enjoy making fun of

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takes two clicks for K-12 children to easily access sexually graphic material from this website, which is funded with taxpayer money.”

Two clicks! I am astounded that someone who blogs on the internet has no idea how the internet

works. Like Theresa, I believe in efficiency. I went to Google Images and did a search for “gay sex.” With one click (a 50 percent reduction in clicking) I found a lot of dick. (To be fair and balanced, I searched for “lesbian sex” and also found a lot

Taking the next steps Women’s March Edmonton (WMWYEG) is presenting the official followup event to the Women’s March in January.

On, Sat., Mar. 25 at the Boyle Street Community League, WMWYEG will facilitate a “Human Library”, from 1 pm to 5 pm. It’s intended to create a dialogue and understanding between people, the group said in a press release.

“Individuals volunteer as human ‘books’ and participants in the event can ‘read’ the book—meaning they would have a one on one conversation with the volunteer, and share in a dialogue about that individuals experience,” the release states.

Dr. Janice Williamson will be speaking at the event. And according to the release, she was a peace activist in the ‘80s focused on nonviolent civil disobedience, and the editor of the interdisciplinary Up and Doing: Canadian Women and Peace.

“She has written on feminist social and cultural issues and, as current AASUA Equity Chair, she takes up social justice work in an institutional context advocating for workplace equity and diversity.”

Free child care is available for attendees and there is a suggested minimum donation of $10, although no one will be turned away due to lack of funds.

For more information on the event visit wmwyeg.org.

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

these people, at the end of the day their agenda is one that has real world impact. If Theresa had her way, culling community links from a website would be the least of it: there would be no support for queer students anywhere in Alberta.

In that same CBC interview, Kris Wells noted that he first heard about the concerns the same way the rest of us did—through news releases. No one contacted him directly. If Theresa Ng’s true agenda was to make sure students weren’t being exposed to inappropriate material, her first step would not have been a smear campaign. The fact that she did remove any claims she wants to make as to her legitimacy as a parent advocate and reminds all of us, yet again, that she and her cronies are nothing more than small-minded and anxious in the face of a changing world.

You’re playing with the lives of youth to advance your agenda, Theresa. If anyone is guilty of hurting students, it’s you.

Road closures by Rogers Place The city of Edmonton released a statement explaining various lane closures on roads around Rogers Place in order to fix exhaust fans located on the roof of the new arena.

On Mar. 23, 104 St. just north of 104 Ave. will be closed, and 104 St. is anticipated to reopen to local traffic at 6 pm. Parking on the west side of the median remains closed until 6 pm on Mar. 24.

Mar. 24 to 25: 104 Ave. between 104 St. and 103 St will have complete road closure between the hours of 6 pm on Mar. 24 to 6 am on Mar. 25.

As a side note, my life partner will be closing down the driveway to my home until I fix my ‘goddamn attitude’. There is no date set date for re-opening.

Women’s Studies?

According to Pembina Hills Public Schools website, Eleanor Hall School in Clyde, AB is offering a new course called “Women Studies.” The course is aimed at helping female students with their self-image and self-esteem.

Taught by junior high teacher Michelle Savoie, the class will have several hands-on activities for students such as analyzing the shape of their faces to determine which hairstyle is most flattering, assessing their body shape to choose clothing styles that are the most complimentary, and completing an online shopping activity to identify their own personal style.

There is no word on the proposed “Men’s Studies” class (which I’m proposing right now). The main activities of this course will vary, but will mostly focus on how to punch stuff really hard, drawing penises on things, and openly talking to young women about how their clothing styles are not complimentary.

TRENT WILKIE

TRENTW@VUEWEEKLY.COM

DISH

REVUE // MEDITERRANEAN & TAPAS

Chicken Pinchos // JProcktor

Stephen Sicoli // JProcktor

Tapavino hosts strong spirit selection and pleasing sharing options

E

dmonton can always use another little hole in the wall that does tapas and select wine pairings.

It’s a style of dining that appeals to me because sharing small plates means you get to try a lot of stuff (and have something to drink to go with it) and it’s always interesting to see what a given chef will do with the idea of tapas and its Basque neighbour, pintxos.

Tapavino, tucked into the main floor of the scenic Hardwood Plaza on Jasper Avenue, is one such nook—an apter word would be hard to find.

Seating is at a premium within, just a handful of tables to be had and one narrow laneway for the food and drink to travel to their intendeds. The dark wood bar where cocktail dreams come true, overseen by a trio of small chandeliers, dominates the east side of the room and contributes to the sense of snugness.

An unpretentious, eager-to-please vibe hangs over the place, which is all to the good. I don’t mind someone taking pains to make a good first

impression. The service was affable and attentive—it may have even been possible to believe our six-top was the only table in the place, had plates of food for other tables not gone soaring over our heads in those tight quarters. And the many items that made up our meal seemed to take the most direct route from order pad to our plates.

So let’s talk about the many items.

One co-diner—let’s call him Jerry— declaimed a few items he considered no-brainers: bocconcini wrapped in prosciutto ($12), and the “pulled pork Juan-tons” ($14). Everyone else stepped up with their own non-negotiables and soon we had seven different dishes headed our way, along with beverages of our choice. True to its name, Tapavino provides many wine options to pair with its food, though my pre-prandial Manhattan was also nicely done.

Soon our table was crowded with attractive ceramic triangles laden with just enough of everything that we’d all get a taste. Even the sole

vegetarian among us was satisfied with the selection, though amidst the hubbub of food covering much of the available table, a napkin did ignite on a candle.

More than one diner commended the “Juan-tons” as a highlight, despite the corny but not entirely inaccurate name. Wonton wrappers filled with boldly spicy, smoky pulled pork and baked in muffin tins—that’s all it took for most of us to be on board with Tapavino. It was not a huge portion each, but it made a strong impression.

The melty balls of unripened cheese fried in prosciutto and immured in rich tomato sauce were exactly as tasty as they sound. The warm dolmas ($11)—stuffed grape leaves with a snappy feta dip—gave me a new appreciation for the form with their risotto-like filling, and we each had a hard time taking a polite portion of the patatas bravas ($10)—tender potato chunks in spicy tomato sauce, here lavished with house-made kettle-style potato chips.

My one regret is that I didn’t snag the surplus portion of the Spanish meatballs ($13), in yet another delicious tomato sauce dosed with smoked hot paprika. Many of the dishes came with wedges of crostini to, for example, sop up the creamy, anise-y sauce around the plump sambuca shrimp ($18), while the parmesan-crusted tomatoes ($9) with basil and a balsamic zigzag, came right on crostini.

Just to make sure we didn’t leave any stones unturned, we then ordered the hot spinach dip with pita crisps ($12), which is where I think I got the mouth-warming hit of garlic that went home with me, and one of each of the night’s desserts: cinnamon pull aparts, cheesecake with salted caramel sauce, and crepes filled with nutella. These were a little

Tapavino Mediterranean & Tapas Restaurant 11011 Jasper Ave., 780.705.1101 tapavino.ca less consistent than the tapas. The pylon of cinnamon bun dough with whipped cream didn’t make much of an impression, and the crepes were a bit undercooked, though they were very, very full of nutella. But the cheesecake with salted caramel sauce was an easy win, thanks to a generous ladling of sauce.

As with everything else that night, our exit—we had a live theatre experience to get to—was gracefully expedited and we were on our way as fast as we could have wished. The play we weren’t crazy about, but every one of us liked the food and enjoyed the time we spent together at Tapavino.

SCOTT LINGLEY

DISH@VUEWEEKLY.COM

beer, coffee, wine... the trinity

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

DISH 5

PREVUE // DRAG SCENE

ARTS Drag queens front local bands at Tuckingham

A

s a talent booker around the city, Craig Martell has seen a broad array of musical and comedy acts, but only within the past year did he come to love drag—an art form that combines both.

“My perception of drag queens was that they go up and lip sync a song," Martell says. "On paper, that shouldn’t be enough, but there’s always something more to it. A lot of the pieces get political, thoughtful and satirical. They are pure entertainers.”

The Buckingham’s Tuckingham: Bands Fronted by Drag Queens includes six local bands—Bad Buddy, N3K, Borscht, Cubeb0x, Skymall and Bud Frasier and the Electric Razors. They will perform four cover songs chosen by local drag queens Twiggy, Gogo Fetch, Chelsea Horrendous, John-Benet Ramsme, Sucreesha Minoroa and Lilith Fair—several of whom are currently vying for the title of Alberta’s Drag Superstar.

After several months spending every Sunday with his wife at a weekly drag show, Martell became familiar with several mem-

Sucreesha Minoroa // Supplied photo

bers of Edmonton’s HOMO-CIDAL drag troupe. One of the founding members, Daniel Callihoo—better known under his performing name, Horrendous—shared Martell’s excitement for the opportunity to bring this landmark facet of queer culture to Edmonton’s straight scene. However, Callihoo also sees it as a way for other Edmonton drag queens who perform more traditional drag to come out and see how their art form can evolve.

“A lot of the audience thinks we’ll do Diana Ross or Liza Minelli,” says Callihoo, who grew up frequenting local punk venues such as New City, The Black Dog, and Filthy McNasty’s. “Then people like me or Sucreesha Minoroa get on stage.”

Minoroa is one such avant-garde inclusion in the HOMO-CIDAL troupe. Known as a bio queen, the character of Minoroa is performed by a woman who identifies as a woman. The inclusion of bio queens remains a sticking point among the more orthodox members of the drag community, but Callihoo stands up for his sisters, regardless of their gender.

“If anything, you’re a gender ter-

Thurs., Mar. 23 (9 pm) Tuckingham: Live Bands Fronted

by Drag Queens The Buckingham, $10 in advance rorist because you’re fucking with people’s expectations of what you should be,” Callihoo says. “Tuckingham is the perfect opportunity for people to realize that.”

Two months of preparation and a whole lot of mascara later, Martell is confident the show will sell out.

“It’s impressive the amount of work that goes in,” Martell says.

“Some bands will show up 10 minutes before a set, but these drag queens put in hours of work in makeup, putting their pieces together and choreography.”

Similarly, Callihoo is confident that, regardless of whether every lyric is remembered or if every chord is hit, the performance will be a smash as long as the girls stay confident.

“The best thing you can do is to make them laugh,” he says.

C.W.B. CASWELL

MUSIC@VUEWEEKLY.COM

Edmonton Non-Fiction Bestsellers 1. Burgess Shale: The Canadian Writing Landscape of the 1960s - Margaret Atwood + 2. Medicine Unbundled: A Journey Throught the Minefields of Indigenous Health Care - Gary Geddes 3. Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race - Margot Lee Shetterly

Week of Mar. 13, 2017 Edmonton Fiction Bestsellers

Bright Burning

by Colleen Murphy

1. Nuala: A Fable - Kimmy Beach * + 2. The Lonely Hearts Hotel - Heather O’Neill

World Premiere

3. Fifteen Dogs - Andre Alexix 4. If I Were In a Cage I’d Reach Out for You - Adele Barclay

March 30 - April 8 @ 7:30 pm

5. Break - Katherena Vermette

No performance Sun, Apr 2 | Matinee Thurs, Apr 6 @ 12:30 pm

Timms Centre for the Arts, University of Alberta Tickets and details: ualberta.ca/artshows

This play contains strong language, violence, sex and substance abuse.

6. Encountering Riel - David D. Orr * + 7. Company Town - Madeline Ashby 8. Norse Mythology - Neil Gaiman 9. Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman 10. Swimming Lessons - Claire Fuller

6 ARTS

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

4. The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love and Loss - Anderson Cooper, Gloria Vanderbilt 5. I’ll Be Damned: How My Young and Restless Life Led Me to America’s #1 Daytime Drama Eric Braeden 6. The Right to Be Cold: One Woman’s Story of Protecting Her Culture, the Arctic and the Whole Planet - Sheila WattCloutier 7. Feast: Recipes and Stories from a Canadian Road Trip - Lindsay Anderson, Dana VanVeller 8. This I Know: Marketing Lessons from Under the Influence Terry O’Reilly 9. The Happiness Equation - Neil Pasricha 10. Lion - Saroo Brierley * ALBERTA AUTHOR † ALBERTA PUBLISHER List compiled by Audreys Books and the Book Publishers Association of Alberta

PREVUE // COMEDY

Investing in comedic gold

Former Wall Street laywer won laughs from Leno and launched a stand-up career

W

riter, comic, podcaster and former investment lawyer, Paul Mecurio knows what it’s like to look at comedy not strictly through the lens of a comedian. His careers in both law and laughter have supplied him with a versatile comedic style, and a unique outlook on world events.

After graduating from law school, Mecurio pursued a career of investment banking on Wall Street. Writing jokes as a hobby, his life of stocks and bonds was derailed when he met Jay Leno at a party in New York. Pitching a few of his jokes to Leno, Mecurio received a phone call from him the next day requesting material.

“Leno asked me what I did and I told him I was a lawyer. He said he knew it and began poking fun at my wordy writing style,” Mecurio says.

The interaction between the two resulted in Leno using Mecurio’s jokes for a future taping of The Tonight Show.

“It worked out and I ended up getting 50 bucks for the gig,” he says.

This chance meeting instilled a coMar. 23-26 medic thrill in MePaul Mecurio, with Kelly curio and he began Soloduka and Tyler Hawkins moonlighting as a The Comic Strip, $16.50-24.50 writer and comedian. Spending his days on Wall Street and nights at dive bars, Mecurio began coming up with material after watching other comedian’s performances.

“I had to keep my comedy a secret Paul Mecurio performs at The Comic Strip Mar. 23-26 // Supplied by Paul Mecurio from my bosses at my firm and my life

ARTIFACTS

Things took a turn for the worse when Mecurio was near a scuffle at one of the bars he was performing at and got blood on his shirt. When he arrived at his firm the next day wearing the same shirt, his senior partner approached him. Unphased by Mecurio’s appearance, he supplied him with a remedy consisting of seltzer water and lemon juice for getting blood specifically out of a Brooks Brothers dress shirt.

“I thought to myself, what’re these guys doing here? Making American Psycho 2?”

He eventually gave up the life of investment banking and began pursuing comedy full time.

“I sold my apartment and moved into a rooming house. The IRS eventually contacted me because they thought I was hiding money," Mecurio says. "I explained to them I gave up life on Wall Street to become a comedian. They didn’t believe me. Their reaction was like the personification of all my doubts of the life I chose."

When comparing life between the two careers, Mecurio says, “Wall Street is organized chaos, the entertainment business is just chaos.”

Mecurio continued his work with Leno and then moved on to the writing team at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. This led to Mecurio developing his comedic style, splicing it with the research and investigation that came from his life as a lawyer.

“I’m pretty analytical in my nature so I tried to bring that to my work as a comic. My brain is constantly going, it’s kind of a pain in the ass to my wife,” he says.

Mecurio has continued his work writing and touring with stand-up and running his podcast 2 Chairs and Microphone where he's hosted renowned guests like Stephen Colbert, Bryan Cranston, Judd Apatow and Paul McCartney.

When it comes to Mecurio’s analytical approach to comedy, he touches on all aspects of life and interacts with his audience.

On the topic of comedy now, especially in the era of President Trump, Mecurio says, “it hasn’t changed much at all, it’s still looking at someone who is acting like an ass and calling them out on it. Comedy, after all, is the last bastion of honest, unedited free speech.”

JAKE PESARUK

ARTS@VUEWEEKLY.COM

TRENT WILKIE

// TRENT@VUEWEEKLY.COM

Corb Lund // Supplied

Make It Edmonton! // Fri., Mar. 24Sun., Mar. 26 There will be more than 175 of your favourite “Makies” (not really a word but really, it is 2017 and the Internet likes to communicate on the fly) bringing their hand made glories back to the EXPO Centre for a fabulous spring show. Stock up on accessories, jewellery, clothing, art, home decor, food, baby/kid items, things you aren’t sure you need but at the time seem like a good idea, and many other beautifully crafted, handmade goods.

as a lawyer a secret from the club owners I was seeing,” Mecurio explains.

Also: Food. Also: Beer garden. Also: Super affordable.

(Northlands EXPO Centre, $5 at the door, kids 12 and under are free) Shane Koyczan - Canadian Tire Speaker Series // Fri., Mar. 24, 7:30 PM He is internationally recognized is an author and spoken word artist. He is Shane Koyczan.

Since emerging as a creator of poetry who dares to belong to the people and speak directly to them in their own voice, Koyczan has ‘staying

power’ as they say. Who they are?

No idea. But, they seem to have their shit together.

According to a press release, “In 2013, he collaborated with animators to make the anti-bullying viral video To This Day which has had more than 13 million views, and he performed a customized version For the Bullied and the Beautiful to acclaim at the 2013 International TED Conference in Long Beach, CA. Shane shapes his words and delivers in multimediums from authored, video, spoken word, operatic, and musically performed.”

That is impressive.

(Maclab Centre for the Performing Arts, $27-35) The Beaumont Blues & Roots Festival // Fri., Jun. 16-Sun., Jun. 18 The Beaumont Blues & Roots Festival recently released its lineup and to quote my grandmother, “Holy crap they are totes crushing it dog.”

Corb Lund, Matt Anderson, King of Foxes, Olivia Rose, The Dungarees, Punch Drunk Cabaret, Boogie Patrol, Fred Penner, The Dirt Road Angels, Deanna Dolstra ... the list goes on.

Tickets on sale now.

(Four Seasons Park, $109 weekend pass, $55 single day pass)

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

ARTS 7

ARTS WEEKLY EMAIL YOUR FREE LISTINGS TO: LISTINGS@VUEWEEKLY.COM FAX: 780.426.2889 DEADLINE: FRIDAY AT 3PM

DANCE ALICE IN WONDERLAND • Jubilee Auditorium,

11455 87 Ave. • 780.455.9559 • albertaballet50. com • Follow Lewis Carroll’s timeless heroine into a world of clog dancing, flowers coming to life and rabbits that are perpetually late • Mar. 24-25

DANCE CLASSES WITH GOOD WOMEN DANCE COLLECTIVE • Muriel Taylor Studio at Ruth Carse Centre for Dance, 11205 107 Ave. • info@goodwomen.ca • goodwomen.ca/classes • Every Tue, Thu, Fri; 10-11:30am • $15 (drop-in), $65 (5 class pack), $100 (10 class pack)

SUBARTIC IMPROVISATION & EXPERIMENTAL ARTS • Spazio Performativo, 10816 95 St. • milezerodance.com • Features dance, music, and visual artists performing live together for the first time within an improvisational framework. Each event features six to eight artists • Mar. 23, 8pm • $15 or best offer at the door

FILM AGA MOVIE NIGHT: THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY • Art Gallery of Alberta, 2 Sir Winston Churchill Square • Mar. 29, 7-9pm • Free

EDMONTON FILM SOCIETY • Royal Alberta Museum, 12845 102 Ave. • 780.439.5285 • edmontonfilmsociety@ gmail.com • royalalbertamuseum.ca/movies • Presenting: Enduring Stars • SCHEDULE: The Stratton Story (Mar 27), River of No Return (Apr 3) • $6 (general), $5 (seniors 65+, students), $3 (kids 12 and under)

TELUS WORLD OF SCIENCE • 11211 142 St. • telusworldofscienceedmonton.com • Wild Africa (until June 26); Mysteries of China (until Apr. 27); Dream Big: Engineering Our World (Mar. 24-June 12)

24-Mar 31 • Grecopolis: artwork by Jean René Leblanc; Apr. 7-May 20

STRATHCONA COUNTY MUSEUM & ARCHIVES • 913 Ash St., Sherwood Park •

COMMON SENSE • 10546-115 St. NW •

strathconacountymuseum.ca • Showcasing Tales from the Oral History Collection; until Oct.

GALLERIES + MUSEUMS

DC3 ART PROJECTS • 10567-111 St. •

ACUA GALLERY & ARTISAN BOUTIQUE

780.686.4211 • dc3artprojects.com • Crafting Ruin: artwork by Jude Griebel; until Apr 15

• 9534 87 St. • 780.488.8558 • info@acuarts. ca • acuarts.ca • Retrospective: artwork by Eva Tomiuk; Mar. 3-29

AJ OTTEWELL GALLERY • 590 Broadmoor Blvd., Sherwood Park • 780.449.4443 • artstrathcona.com • Open: Fri-Sun • Artwork by gallery members; Mar.-Apr. • Watercolour works original art show and sale; Apr. 2, 11am-4pm; free; all ages ALBERTA CRAFT COUNCIL GALLERY • 10186 106 St. • 780.488.6611 • albertacraft. ab.ca • Citizens of Craft; until Apr 22 • Stories Brought to Life: artwork by Amy Skrocki; until Apr. 8

ALLIED ARTS COUNCIL OF SPRUCE GROVE • Melcor Cultural Centre, 35 5th Ave., Spruce Grove • 780.962.0664 • alliedartscouncil.com • Rotation Gallery; until May 5

ART GALLERY OF ALBERTA (AGA) • 2 Sir Winston Churchill Sq. • 780.422.6223 • youraga. ca • Survival Guide; until May 7 • Clocks for Seeing: Photography, Time and Motion; until June 18 • Fischli and Weiss/Ibghy and Lemmens; until Jun 18 • Cyclorama: artwork by Blaine Campbell; until May 28 • BMO CHILDREN'S GALLERY: Touch Lab: Leave your Mark; until Apr. 9 • WEEKLY DROP-IN ACTIVITIES: Tours for Tots, Every Wed, 10-11am • Youth Workshops, ages 13-17, Every Thu, 4-6pm • Kids’ Open Studio, Every Sat, 1-3pm • Spring ArtBreak Camp Mar. 27-31 • Exhibition Tours; Every Sat-Sun, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm • Art for Lunch; 3rd Thu of the month, 12:10-12:50pm • VIBE; 3rd Fri of the month, 5-9pm • AGA Community Access Night; Mar. 30, 5-8pm; Free

ART GALLERY OF ST. ALBERT (AGSA) •

commonsense.culturalspot.org/home • Metals/ Myth: Sculptures by Ryan McCourt; until Mar. 23

FAB GALLERY • Fine Arts Building Gallery,1-1 FAB (University of Alberta) • ualberta.ca/artshows • Bachelor of Design Graduate Show 2017: A graduating exhibition of students completing the Bachelor of Design program; Mar 28-Apr 8

TELUS WORLD OF SCIENCE • 11211 142 St. • telusworldofscienceedmonton.com • Daily activities, demonstrations and experiments • Angry Birds Universe; until Apr. 17 • Free$117.95

U OF A MUSEUMS GALLERIES AT ENTERPRISE SQUARE • Main floor, 10230 Jasper Ave. • Open: Thu-Fri, 12-6pm, Sat 12-4pm • International Print Exhibition–Canada and Japan; until Mar. 25

FRONT GALLERY • 12323-104 Ave. • thefrontgallery.com • Culmination: artwork by Lesley Finlayson; until Apr 2 • Spring Exhibition; through April; Opening reception: Apr. 13, 7-9pm

VASA GALLERY • 25 Sir Winston Churchill

GALERIE CITE • La Cite Francophone, 8627

WEST END GALLERY • 10337-124 St. •

Rue Marie-Anne Gaboury • Rubaboo Visual Art Exhibition: artwork by David Garneau, Lana Whiskeyjack, Arsan Buffin, Brandon Atkinson, Dawn Marie Marchand and MJ Belcourt Moses; until Mar 25

GALLERY@501 • 501 Festival Ave., Sherwood Park • 780.410.8585 • strathcona.ca/artgallery • O Canada (I'm sorry): artwork by Diana Thorneycroft; until Apr. 30

GALLERY U • 9206 95 Ave. • 780.913.5447 • contact@galleryu.ca • galleryu.ca • Reflecting Black: Ceramic work by Aba Garbrah; until Mar. 28; all ages HARCOURT HOUSE GALLERY • 3 Fl, 10215 112 St. • 780.426.4180 • harcourthouse.ab.ca • Enlightenment: artwork by Heather Passmore; Mar 9-Apr 7 • ART INCUBATOR GALLERY: DVEX: artwork by Sora Park; until Apr. 7

MAIN GALLERY:

LATITUDE 53 • Latitude 53, 10242 106 St. NW • latitude53.org • MADE presents Sheltered + Exposed: design for Alberta’s winter life; until Apr. 1

LANDO GALLERY • 103, 10310-124 St. •

Ave., St. Albert • 780.460.5990 • vasa-art.com • Leaving Marks: artwork by Star Newman; until Apr. 1

AUTHOR MADELEINE THIEN • Arden Theatre, 5 St. Anne St., St. Albert • 780.459.1530 • sapl.libcal. com/event/2915810 • With the author of Do Not Say We Have Nothing • Mar. 29, 7-8:30pm • $5 (door, phone, or Eventbrite) EDMONTON STORY SLAM • Mercury Room,10575 114 St. • edmontonstoryslam. com • facebook.com/mercuryroomyeg • Great stories, interesting company, fabulous atmosphere • 3rd Wed each month • 7pm (signup); 7:30pm • $5 donation to winner

NAKED GIRLS READING • Brittany's Lounge,

Albert • stalbert.ca/exp/arden/events/fubar • Apr. 2, 4-5:30pm

BOREALIS GALLERY • 9820 107 St. • Storytellers: Alberta and the Great War; Feb. 17-May 22

MULTICULTURAL CENTRE PUBLIC ART GALLERY (MCPAG)–Stony Plain • 5411 51

METRO • Metro at the Garneau Theatre, 8712-

BRUCE PEEL SPECIAL COLLECTIONS •

POETRY NIGHT AT THE CARROT • Carrot Community Arts Coffee House, 9351 118 Ave. NW • Share your work and relish a night out with an encouraging crowd • Mar. 30, 7-9pm

109 St. • 780.425.9212 • Le Festival du Film Français/The French Film Festival; Throughout Mar. • THE CELLULOID HAS BEEN DRINKING: TOM WAITS ON FILM: Mystery Men, Mar. 23 • EDMONTON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S FILM FESTIVAL: Madame Presidenta: Why Not U.S.?, Mar. 26 • REEL FAMILY CINEMA: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Mar. 25 • REEL LEARNING: Art & Copy, Mar. 29 • SCIENCE IN THE CINEMA: Lars and the Real Girl, Mar. 23

MOVIE NIGHT • McDougall United Church, 10086 Macdonald Dr. (south entrance) • 780.428.1818 • mcdougallunited.com • Movies that are family friendly and always inspiring and entertaining.

Popcorn and lemonade are available • Monthly, 7:30pm • Free

Lower level, Rutherford Library South, University of Alberta • 780.492.5998 • bpsc.library. ualberta.ca • Mon-Fri, 12-4:30pm • Mounties on the Cover: cover illustrations of Mounties; Mar. 20-Jul 21

BUGERA MATHESON GALLERY • 10345 124 St. • bugeramathesongallery.com • Points West: artwork by Terry Fenton; Mar. 24-Apr 7

THE CARROT • 9351 118 Ave. NW • thecarrot. ca • Spring Forward: artwork by Gary Phil and Julie Drew; Through Apr; Opening: Apr. 5, 7-9pm

CAVA GALLERY • 9103 95 Ave. • 780.461.3427 • galeriecava.com • Re:Vision 3: artwork by Emilie St-Hilaire, Allysha Larsen; Feb

MUSÉE HÉRITAGE MUSEUM • St. Albert Place, 5 St. Anne St., St. Albert • MuseeHeritage. ca • 780.459.1528 • museum@artsandheritage. ca • 1867 Rebellion and Confederation–A Travelling Exhibition developed by the Canadian Museum of History; until Mar. 26 MUTTART CONSERVATORY • 9626 96a Ave. • karenbishop.ca/earths-laughter.html • Earth's Laughter: artwork by Karen Bishop; until Mar 31 NINA HAGGERTY CENTRE FOR THE ARTS • 9225 118 Ave. • 780.474.7611 • volunteer@ thenina.ca • A Long Walk: artwork by Crystal Dillon, Krista Hamilton, Tess Stieben; until Apr. 21; opening reception: Mar 23, 5-7pm

PAINT SPOT • 10032 81 Ave. • 780.432.0240 • paintspot.ca • Naess Gallery: The elements–fire water air earth; until Apr. 5 • Artisan Nook: Wax Poetic: artwork by Dilys Kulchitsky; until Apr. 5

PETER ROBERTSON GALLERY • 12323 104 Ave. • 780.455.7479 • probertsongallery.com • Surface Tension: artwork by Mitchel Smith; Mar 16-Apr 1 • Tempered Steel: artwork by Isla Burns; Apr. 6-22 • In Pursuit: Contemporary Abstraction and Persuasion: artwork by Frances Thomas; Apr. 6-22

PICTURE THIS GALLERY • 959 Ordze Rd., Sherwood Park • 780.467.3038 • picturethisgallery.com • Spring it on!: artwork by various artists; until Apr. 30

PROVINCIAL ARCHIVES OF ALBERTA • 8555 Roper Rd. • PAA@gov.ab.ca • 780.427.1750 • culture.alberta.ca/paa/ eventsandexhibits/default.aspx • Let Justice Be Done: The Alberta Provincial Police, 1917-1932; until June 17

SCOTT GALLERY • 10411 124 St. • scottgallery.com • Land Lines: artwork by Pamela Thurston; until Apr. 1 • Shadow Cities: artwork by Andrea Kastner; Apr. 8-9; opening reception: Apr. 8, 1-4pm SNAP GALLERY • Society of Northern Alberta Print-Artists, 10123 121 St. • 780.423.1492 • snapartists.com • The Formalist's Library: artwork by Jason Urban; until Apr. 22 • Great White North: artwork by Jordan Blackburn; Apr. 22

8 ARTS

Theatre, 9828 101A Ave. • 780.425.1820 • citadeltheatre.com • All singing! All dancing! All Gershwin! With favourites like "I Got Rhythm", "Embraceable You", "They Can’t Take That Away From Me", "Someone to Watch Over Me" and more • until Apr. 2

DIE-NASTY • Varscona Theatre, 10329 83 Ave. •

FERRIS BUELLERS SCHOOL OF ROCK

780.423.3487 • audreys.ca • Jeannine Carrière & Catherine Richardson launch Calling Our Families Home: Metis Peoples’ Experiences with Child Welfare; Mar. 28, 7pm • Lisa Martin launches Believing is not the same as being saved; Mar. 29, 7pm • Michelle Elrick launches then/again with local poet Tim Bowling as guest reader; Mar. 31, 7pm • Book Launch- The It Girl and Me: A Novel of Clara Bow; Apr. 2, 2-4; free

MCMULLEN GALLERY • U of A Hospital, 8440 112 St. • 780.407.7152 • friendsofuah.org/ mcmullen-gallery • The Lake: artwork by Pamela Thurston; until Apr. 23

St., Stony Plain • multicentre.org • HerWORK: artwork by Alexis Marie Chute, Becky Thera, Kasie Campbell, Kun Chen, Lucille Frost, and Shirley Serviss; until Apr. 1

CRAZY FOR YOU: THE NEW GERSHWIN MUSICAL • Shoctor Theatre, Citadel

AUDREYS BOOKS • 10702 Jasper Ave. •

BEAR CLAW GALLERY • 10403 124 St. • 780.482.1204 • info@bearclawgallery.com • bearclawgallery.com • Morrisseau–Tree of Life: artwork by Norval Morrisseau; Apr. 1-13

FUBAR 2 • Arden Theatre, 5 St. Anne St., St.

Ave. • rapidfiretheatre.com • Rapid Fire Theatre’s longform comedy show: improv formats, intricate narratives, and one-act plays • Every Sat, 10pm; until June • $15 (door or buy in adv at TIX on the Square)

LITERARY

780.488.4892 • westendgalleryltd.com • W.H. Webb; Mar 18-30 • Solo exhibition of new work: by Guy Roy; Apr. 8-20

780.990.1161 • landogallery.com • March Group Selling Exhibition; until Mar 28

St. Albert • stalbert.ca/exp/arden/events/ fubar • Apr. 2, 2-3:30pm

CHIMPROV • Citadel's Zeidler Hall, 9828 101A

die-nasty.com • Live improvised soap opera. Join the whole Die-Nasty family REBORN, for a season of great artists, earth-shaking discovery, glorious music, hilarious hijinx ... but mostly Machiavellian intrigue • Every Mon, 6:30pm (doors), 7:30-9:30pm • until May 29 • $18 or $13 with a $40 membership; at the door (cash) or at tixonthesquare.com.

Season passes are available at the door (cash or cheque only) for $400 with a reserved seat

19 Perron St., St. Albert • 780.460.4310 • artgalleryofstalbert.ca • Creative Endeavours: artwork

by Gene and J Marg Brenda; Feb. 2-Apr. 8

FUBAR 1 • Arden Theatre, 5 St. Anne St.,

preview); 2 for 1 (Mon)

10225 97 St. NW • 780.691.1691 • There will be different themes each month • Every 2nd Tue of month, 8:30-10:30pm • $20 (door); 18+ only

ROUGE POETRY SLAM HOSTED BY BREATH IN POETRY COLLECTIVE • BLVD Supper x Club, 10765 Jasper Ave. • Every Tue

SCRAMBLED YEG • Brittany's Lounge, 10225 97 St. • 780.497.0011 • Open Genre Variety Stage: artists from all mediums are encouraged to occupy the stage and share their creations • Every Tue-Fri, 5-8pm

SCRIPT SALON • Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Upper Arts Space, 10037 84 Ave. • A monthly play reading series: 1st Sun each month with a different play by a different playwright

TALES–Monthly Storytelling Circle • Parkallen Community Hall, 6510 111 St. • Monthly TELLAROUND: 2nd Wed each month • Sept.-June, 7-9pm • Free • Info: 780.437.7736; talesedmonton@hotmail.com

UPPER CRUST CAFÉ • 10909 86 Ave. • 780.422.8174 • strollofpoets.com • The Poets’ Haven Reading Series • Most Mon (except holidays), 7pm, Sept-Mar.; presented by the Stroll of Poets Society • $5 (door)

THEATRE 11 O'CLOCK NUMBER • Basement Theatre at Holy Trinity, 10037 84 Ave. • grindstonetheatre. ca • This improvised musical comedy is based on suggestions from the audience who will experience a new story unfold in front of them, complete with impromptu songs, dance breaks and show stopping numbers • Every Fri, unitl July 30, 11pm BASKERVILLE: A SHERLOCK HOLMES MYSTERY • Mayfield Dinner Theatre, 16615

109 Ave. • 780.483.4051 • mayfieldtheatre.ca • Equal parts adventure and comedy, Baskerville finds Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson attempting to crack the mystery of The Hound of the Baskervilles before a family curse dooms its newest heir • until Apr. 2

BRIGHT BURNING • Timms Centre for the Arts, 8703 112 St. • ualberta.ca/artshows • Throwing a spotlight on economic disparities in modern Canada, Colleen Murphy’s new play is a searing commentary on the lives of disenfranchised youth on the brink of reinvention and self-destruction • Mar. 30-Apr. 8 • $12 (student, evening), $25 (adult, evening), $22 (senior, evening); $12 (student, matinee), $20 (adult matinee), $18 (senior, matinee); $5 (Wed

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

• Jubilations Dinner Theatre, West Edmonton Mall, #2061 8882 170 St. • 780.484.2424 • infoedmonton@jubilations.ca • edmonton. jubilations.ca • In 1986 Ferris Bueller took a day off. With wit and charm he managed to skip school and keep the teachers in the dark. Thirty years later Bueller finds himself back in high school, but this time he’s the teacher • until Apr. 2 (Wed-Sun) • $33.25-$77.95

HEY LADIES!• The Roxy on Gateway (formerly C103), 8529 Gateway Blvd. • theatrenetwork. ca • Edmonton’s premier comedy, info-tainment, musical, game, talk show spectacular that’s suitable for all sexes! • Mar. 24, May 12, 8pm • $26 (call 780.453.2440) or TIX on the Square INTO THE WOODS • John L. Haar Theatre,

1004 156 St. • A Baker and his wife wish to have a child but cannot because of a Witch's curse, Cinderella wishes to attend the King's Festival, and Jack wishes his cow would give milk. All want a better life, so they set off on into the woods. Everyone's wish is granted, but the consequences of their actions return to haunt them with disastrous results • until Apr. 1 • Tickets available at TIX on the Square

LA RACCOURCIE • L'UniThéâtre, 8627 91 St. • lunitheatre.ca • In French with English subtitles (No subtitles Apr. 8, Apr. 15) • Jean-Joseph Simard has sought refuge deep in the bush, abandoning his work and his family. After years of isolation and solitude, his son Victor arrives.

He's come searching for his father, offering some unfortunate news and looking for answers • Apr. 5-8, Apr. 12-15 THE MUSIC MAN • Holy Trinity Anglican Church, 10037 84 Ave. • trinityplayersyeg@ gmail.com • A tale of a traveling sales conman who convinces the small Iowan townfolk of River City that in order to keep their youth out of trouble they must keep them busy through forming a marching band • Mar. 23-26, 7:30pm • $18 (available via Eventbrite) OPEN JAM • Holy Trinity Church, 10037 84 Ave. • 780.907.2975 • grindstonetheatre.ca • Facilitated

by Grindstone Theatre; swap games and ideas and get an opportunity to play. For those of all levels • Last Tue of each month

PANACHE PT DEUX: THE TRIUMPH OF THE PONCE • La Cité Francophone, 8627 Rue Marie-

Anne Gaboury • 780.758.9999 • fireflytheatre.com • A flamboyantly courageous explosion of satire and circus. A sequel to last year's hit • Mar. 24-26 • $30 (adult), $25 (student/seniors 65+), $20 (kids under 12); available at TIX on the Square

PETER AND THE STARCATCHER • Citadel

Theatre, 9828 101A Ave. • citadeltheatre.com • The Peter Pan prequel for all of those who never grew up • Apr. 1-23 • $25-$105 (available at the Citadel box office or online)

SOLICITING TEMPTATION • Varscona Theatre, 10329 83 Ave. • 780.433.3399 • shadowtheatre.org • In a sweaty and sticky hotel room, a Western man and a young woman meet for sex. Somewhere between the reality and the fantasy, the sex becomes talk and the talk becomes dangerous • until Mar. 26, 7:30-9pm • $33 (adults), $31 (students/seniors 65+), $18 (youth under 18) THEATRESPORTS • Citadel's Zeidler Hall, 9828 101A Ave. • rapidfiretheatre.com • Improv • Every Fri, 7:30pm and 10pm • Sept-June • $15

FILM REVUE // 3D IMAX

STEM initiative sends filmmakers around the globe for ingenious new IMAX film

Haitian schoolgirls are among the first to walk across the newly built Chameau Bridge in Haiti. // Supplied by American Society of Civil Engineers

We can’t change the past—that’s a fact. But, while certain factors are already established, the future has not yet been written.

Dream Big: Engineering Our World, the latest and most ambitious release from MacGillivray Freeman Films (MFF), explores the role engineering has held in creating the world as we know it and the possibilities it may present moving forward.

The root of the word engineering literally equates to ingenious, and rightfully so.

Rather than just a science and technology film, Dream Big proves to be an almost spiritual work with it’s focus on

humanity and the difference it makes in the quality of lives being lived. Math and physics are obvious ingredients, but engineering would not be possible without an incredible faith that trumps failure, devoted tenacity and perseverance, ingenuity, creativity and even compassion.

More locations were visited in the making of this film than any other MMF release, and one of the most memorable—and heart-bursting, weep-inducing—was rural Haiti.

When engineer Avery Bang graduated, she chose to forego constructing state-of-the-art skyscrapers and joined Bridges to Prosperity, a non-profit

organization providing cable-stayed footbridges in developing countries.

One little Haitian community has a river separating residents from the local school and clinic, and drownings were all too common. A construction hand who worked with Bang is raising his eight children alone after their mother drown trying to get to the clinic for medicine and, until the footbridge was built, these children crossed the river twice daily right where their mother died just to get to school.

The pedestrian bridges aren’t huge or complex structures, but they make an immeasurable difference in the lives of those gaining access to basic ammenities.

Narrated by Academy Award-winning actor Jeff Bridges, Dream Big is aimed at our newest school-aged generation who will be the ones contending with our biggest challenges like climate change and clean water, as well as creating cities and infrastructure to sustain our burgeoning population.

More than just a movie, Dream Big addresses the STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) initiative with hopes of inspiring kids to be experimental and resourceful, use simple

approaches to problem solve and, literally, dream big about what could be.

To illustrate the boundless parametres, the filmmakers spanned time, geography and context. We join British engineer Steve Burrows as he discovers the addition of sticky rice to the mortar of the Great Wall of China is the secret to it’s longevity. And explore engineering failures like “Galloping Gertie,” the Tacoma Narrows suspension bridge that spectacularly collapsed in 1940 and has impacted bridge design and science every since.

We take a closer look at the world’s second tallest structure, The Shanghai Tower, and its ingenious twist to sur-

Fri., Mar. 24 - Mon., Jun. 12 Dream Big: Engineering Our World Telus World of Science, $9.50-13.95  vive typhoon-strength winds, before heading to an elementary classroom where students design construction paper towers and test their aerodynamics with fans. The hands-on educational exercise is nothing short of a game for the children and involves as much creativity as critical thinking.

Looking ahead, engineers have played their own game to create a pneumatic tube vehicle that travels more than 1,000 km/h.

What comes next is anyone's guess.

JENNY FENIAK

JENNY@VUEWEEKLY.COM

FRI, MAR 24–THUR, MAR 30

REVUE // ZOMBIE FLICK

The kids aren't alright

THE SENSE OF AN ENDING FRI & MON TO THURS: 6:45PM SAT: 1:00 & 6:45PM SUN: 1:00 & 6:00PM

Children amp up the creep factor in The Girl with All the Gifts

T

he Girl with All the Gifts is another of those post-apocalypse flesheating rampage movies (the kind you show friends who really want to but just can’t quite bring themselves to become vegans). This zombie flick, though, gets some surreal mileage out of its Lord of the Flies-meets-World War Z twist.

On an army base in England, Melanie (Sennia Nanua) and other children are kept in cells at night and, each morning, led out in wheelchairs with restraints to be taught by Helen Justineau (Gemma Arterton). One kid after the next is taken away by Dr. Caldwell (Glenn Close). But when Melanie’s brought up to the lab as the latest test subject from which to synthesize a vaccine, amid this outbreak of fungal infection (causing people to become marauding mobs of “hungries”), she’s swept up in

an escape from the base as Helen, Sergeant Parks (Paddy Considine), and Dr. Caldwell go on the run ...

In its own bloody delectable way, the movie—based on Mike Carey’s book—rasps new life into the horror genre’s creepy child. A pack of feralkid hungries, talking with guttural yips and chirrups, scheme to sate their munchies with one ambushed soldier.

The infected-at-birth Melanie can quell some of her lust for humanmeat, but she’s also used by Parks and company as a kind of trained pet—a sniffer-dog going on ahead to figure out the best route through London.

With plenty of widescreen shots and light greens, veteran TV director Colm McCarthy emphasizes the sunlit spring for this newly diseased earth, growing with menace as the fungal infection

RATED: 14A

WILSON

FRI: 7:00 & 9:15PM SAT: 1:30, 3:45, 7:00 & 9:15PM SUN: 1:30, 3:45, 6:15 & 8:15PM MON TO THURS: 7:00 & 9:00PM

RATED: 14A, CL

HIDDEN FIGURES

Mar. 24, 25, 27 & 28 The Girl with All the Gifts Metro Cinema

FRI: 9:30PM SAT: 3:30 & 9:30PM SUN: 3:30 & 8:30PM MON TO THURS: 9:15PM

«

RATED: PG

nears its second phase.

Still, this remains a zombie flick, its lunging, lurching strokes so familiar: laboratory attack, running hordes of Homo sapien-munchers, scheming scientist, mercy killing the infected, etc. The Girl with All the Gifts keeps a brisk pace and avoids chunky exposition. But the best damned thing about it is its refusal to spare its children from the horrors of the undead, so much so that it even fires new life into that stiff old “hope for the next generation” cliché.

PRESENTS SCIENCE IN THE CINEMA

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL THUR @ 6:30 FREE ADMISSION AND FREE SMALL POPCORN THE CELLULOID HAS BEEN DRINKING: TOM WAITS ON FILM

MYSTERY MEN THUR @ 9:30 COSTUME CONTEST

MAR 23-MAR 29 REEL FAMILY CINEMA

FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM SAT @ 2:00 FREE ADMISSION FOR CHILDREN 12 & UNDER

PATERSON SAT @ 7:15, TUES @ 9:15 EDMONTON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S FILM FEST

MADAME PRESIDENTA: WHY NOT U.S.? SUN @ 2:00 PRE-SHOW @ 12:30

BRIAN GIBSON

FILM@VUEWEEKLY.COM

QUOTE-A-LONG

ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY SUN @ 4:30 CJSR

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS FRI @ 7:00, SAT @ 9:30, MON @ 9:30, TUES @ 7:00

SUPERMAN (1978) TUES @ 6:30 FREE ADMISSION

SCI-FI CINEMA

Q & A FOLLOWING THE SCREENING

BLADE RUNNER: THE FINAL CUT FRI @ 9:30, SUN @ 9:30

REEL LEARNING

COPY – REEL LEARNING WED @ 7:00 A MAN CALLED OVE WED @ 9:30

Metro Cinema at the Garneau: 8712-109 Street WWW.METROCINEMA.ORG

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

FILM 9

FASHION

PREVUE // FASHION WEEK

Sat., Apr. 1 (7 pm) Western Canada Fashion Week - Models of Diversity ATB Financial Arts Barns, $25

Benveet "Bean" Gill // JProcktor

Fashion Week’s first showcase dealing specifically with disability

T

his spring’s Western Canada Fashion Week (WCFW) turns its focus towards a different kind of diversity than the one it has championed for 13 years.

WCFW Creative Director Sandra Sing Fernandes tried to orchestrate a fashion showcase for models with disabilities and injuries a year ago, and was disappointed when it ultimately fell through.

Then, two months ago, she received a serendipitous call from an old friend who previously worked as a WCFW makeup artist, Benveet “Bean” Gill.

She had been struck by a virus-induced autoimmune disease in 2012, and the transverse myelitis in her spinal chord paralyzed her lower body.

“I'm in a wheelchair, but I’d love to model,” she told Fernandes over the phone.

Two days later, Fernandes had another chance call from Alberta Medical Services (AMS). An equipment supplier was looking to put together a fashion show with their wheelchairs and braces.

It was too good to be true.

“It was just amazing,” Fernandes says.

“It was like a miracle.”

Models of Diversity is the closing night theme of WCFW’s 25th season. It features models with disabilities, fashion designed for those living with physical disabilities and athletes suffering injuries.

Gill, who is also opening a paralysis recovery centre called ReYu, wants to show the city that people living with disabilities are living their lives just as integrally as others.

“I feel like in Edmonton, the attitude around people with disabilities is that it’s shameful,” Gill says. “We want to change the stigma of people with disabilities.”

Gill’s desire to model, and AMS’ will to impact fashion's place for people with injuries and disabilities converged under Fernandes, and on Apr. 1 models

10 FASHION

will strut and wheel their way down the catwalk sporting the latest fashion and medical technology.

Fernandes says this event has been a long time coming. Since WCFW launched in 2004, its mandate has been to represent models and designers of all shapes and sizes from different walks of life.

“We have been about diversity since day one,” Fernandes says. “We’ve been all-inclusive about the types of models we've had, and we've had all nationalities and all different types from the very beginning.”

But Fernandes says hitting those standards hasn’t always been easy, especially when it came to finding fashion designers for people with disabilities.

“We’ve been scrambling, trying to get people that actually design specifically for the wheelchair, and there isn’t anyone,” Fernandes says. “It might be nice to do something with our young designers to encourage them to think about these problems.”

In the meantime, local retailers and international designers like VAN MIL-Amsterdam, LUXX Ready to Wear, Nu2You and The Running Room will display apparel at the Models of Diversity event.

Fernandes says once more designers are aware of the opportunity in the future, they'll jump on it.

“There is an art form when you connect [fashion] to its function, and you see it living and breathing,” she says.

Fernandes believes fashion has always been a vehicle for change, and the Models of Diversity showcase is no different.

“If they’re a fashion person, they’re a fashion person,” Fernandes says.

Gill agrees, saying, “If they want to dress and get their hair done, it has nothing to do with their mobility.

“I'm still the same person ... my brain

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

still thinks the same, my heart is still the same—it’s just my body is different.”

Fernandes can’t wait to share that sentiment with Edmonton.

“This is just such an amazing opportunity for us to make the models feel great and special, and also to show people that there’s beauty in everything,” she says. “I think they’re all going to have so much fun, because they’re going to feel like princesses for the day.”

Fernandes says the event wouldn't have been possible without Gill fighting through her paralysis and reaching out to her.

“She wants to pursue a course to become healthier and better, but also to facilitate that for other people that are in the same position,” Fernandes says. “To have this happen to you in your life is difficult, to say the least.

Most of us wouldn't know what to think of that. She's just amazing. I’m just totally in awe of her spirit and what she's been through.”

An important part of WCFW’s mandate is to make sure the fashion on the catwalk is quality work that will go the distance for the individual and the industry, even if trends change.

“We always think about manufacturing sustainably,” Fernandes says.

“Where things are being produced, how are they being produced, what effect does it have on our climate, and how are we building the local market are all considered.”

From including models of all types to considering environmental and social responsibility, Fernandes hopes this spring’s WCFW is another step towards recognizing different, but equal forms of beauty.

“We really want to embrace all people that are Canadian and live here.”

KEVIN PENNYFEATHER ARTS@VUEWEEKLY.COM

PREVUE // FANTASY FASHION

Skrocki designs touch on mythology Husband and wife's alt-fashion created with endless collaborative imagination

I

t’s interesting to see an alternative take on fashion, and Amy Skrocki’s “Stories Brought To Life” exhibit is exactly that.

Displayed in the Alberta Craft Council’s Discovery Gallery, Skrocki’s exhibit consists of masks, jewelry, bracers, guitar straps, corsets and other accessories made from metal and leather. The creations originate from she and her husband Tanner Skrocki's curiosity with mythology and fantasy.

“We create the character's whole world. We think, ‘what would they wear, where would they go, who would they be friends with?’” Tanner explains.

Each piece of art by their design company, Paragon of Design by Skrocki, stems from a fictional character that Amy and Tanner collaboratively create together in a poem or short story.

“I can usually see the image in my head right from the beginning. It’s very [Dungeons & Dragons],” Amy says. “I usually give Tanner the description or idea in bullet points and then he puts it together like a magician.”

Both the Skrocki’s find their inspiration in different ways—with Tanner’s being music.

“Mostly stuff that is pretty dark, but beautiful like My Dying Bride’s piano work, or Theatre of Tragedy," Tanner says. "I love doom music for

its duality of something beautiful and something ugly. I find it very inspiring.

We’re both night owls so you can find me cranking stuff like that and letting it resonate while I write at like three in the morning."

The work certainly reflects this duality with the wearable pieces looking gothic, medieval and bewitching.

A perfect example is "The Morrigan," a phantom queen in Celtic mythology featuring a multi-layered leather head-piece, corset and bracers.

“Sometimes I try to make things more feminine, but it usually comes out looking evil like something a warrior would wear,” Amy explains of the process.

It's all created in the Skrocki’s home studio. Amy focuses on big leather works—such as headpieces—and Tanner makes 80 percent of the metal work.

“Our whole home is kind of a studio,” Amy says. “This is our life. We’re constantly working on something and putting our all into it. Every piece requires its own dedication and time so there’s a part of us in every piece.”

In order to truly appreciate the chaotic beauty of each work, it should be seen in person.

Thurs., Mar. 23 - Sat., Apr. 8 Stories Brought To Life Alberta Craft Council, Discovery Gallery Free admission

STEPHAN BOISSONNEAULT STEPHAN@VUEWEEKLY.COM

The Morrigan by Skrocki // Supplied photo

PREVUE // FASHION WEEK

Is Edmonton ready to suit up?

Local company, SUITS by Curtis Eliot, garners praise at New York Fashion Week showcase

T

he Edmonton Oilers are hosting at Rogers Place. The best -dressed man in the building is not one of the Oilers, not a player agent, not even TV personality Gene Principe. It’s the man in the dashing three-piece suit, fitted to perfection. It’s Edmonton native, Matthew Ivan Eaton, fresh from New York Fashion Week, whose company is helping to put Edmonton on the map as a fashion leader.

SUITS by Curtis Eliot, formed in 2014, has not wasted any time in making a name for itself. Founder, Sean Eliot Farmer and creative director/partner Eaton, recently held a successful private show at New York Fashion Week in early 2017, and will be featured again at Western Canada Fashion Week (WCFW) later next week.

The team specializes in custom, fitted suits and has now dressed more than 5,000 and counting. Eaton believes that once someone in a particular friend circle begins to appreciate a well-tailored three-piece, it doesn’t take long to witness the whole circle adjust into a more prolific look.

“It doesn’t have to be Christmas or New Year's Eve,” he explains of the GQ-type look. “The gratification that you get from it—someone who has a different body type, [or making]

someone feel a bit more confident— it is super rewarding. “ The NYC experience helped validate the company and has given the Edmonton squad an even greater level of confidence and bravado. They now believe their product can be held up against any of the top competitors.

“The biggest takeaway was that our clothes were ahead of the curve—the reviews we received have been phenomenal,” Eaton says.

“We want to change Wed., Mar. 29 (7 pm) the way people dress Western Canada Fashion Week and help people feel Collections better about them- ATB Financial Arts Barn, $25 selves. Even guys who hate putting on dress clothes, when you put on a suit you are just better at what you do.”

But for two suave, detailed-oriented gents, why stay put in Edmonton?

Eaton says the entrepreneurial flavour of Edmonton and the city’s widespread willingness to give everyone a chance is what keeps them rooted in champ city.

“Aligning yourself with people that have the same vision as you, it has allowed us to be successful,” citing Edmonton Oilers Vice President of Entertainment Bob Black as an inspiration and mentor.

Creative Director, Matthew Ivan Eaton and Assistant Creative VP, Joshua Derko // Supplied by SUITS by Curtis Eliot

Eaton referred to Suka Clothing's Fashion Design and Illustration Instructor, Ali Suka, as the godmother of the Edmonton fashion scene.

Suka—originally from Devon, AB— not only operates her lifestyle clothing brand but conducts classes as a fashion instructor at MC College.

She will again play a role at WCFW, as she not only showcases

her clothing line, but encourages her students to become involved, as it offers a massive pedestal for emerging careers.

Suka preferred to deflect praise towards Edmonton’s Whyte Avenue.

She says without this fashion district, it would be difficult for herself and other upstarts to design and forge a path as independent designers.

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

Eaton believes that with the direction of his team, pioneers such as Suka and upstarts within the 780 area code, Edmonton is going to be a slick city—and not just because of the oil.

“We aren’t the best dressed yet," Eaton says, "but if I have my way, we will be soon.”

SÉAMUS SMYTH

ARTS@VUEWEEKLY.COM

FASHION 11

PREVUE // METAL

MUSIC

Disciples of Power // Cassandra Scheideman

Renowned Edmonton thrash metal band writes new material despite past roadblocks

I

walk down the rickety wood stairs and my eyes and nostrils are immediately filled with the looming smoke lingering in the air. To the left, is a multi-roomed home studio with various guitar cases and a plethora of effects pedals. To the back of the room, five men are talking amongst themselves with cigarettes and various drinks in hand.

They make up Disciples of Power, Edmonton’s legendary technical thrash metal band.

The five walk me to their jam space; a room encompassed with half cab amplifiers, urns stuffed to the brim with cigarettes, well-used recording equipment and a roof that’s hanging down over the drumset with the foundation barely hanging on.

Drummer Dean Relf begins a song with a wicked crash of his cymbals

12 MUSIC

and the guitars explode with complex—room shaking riffs. Pieces of wood are flying from Relf’s sticks. I notice the bottom of his kit is coated with splinters and wood dust. New vocalist Spencer Ball closes his eyes and lets out a malevolent growl, bringing the song to life, and eventually death.

“That’s a new one. It’s called 'Virus Paradigm,'” Ball says.

The fact that Disciples of Power have written new material will be astonishing to some due to the band’s history.

D.O.P.’s origin dates back to the late ‘80s in Medicine Hat. Founding member Hart Bachmier moved the band to Edmonton in 1987, eventually releasing its debut album Powertrap in 1989. The album gained D.O.P. popularity on MTV airwaves and land a

music video on MuchMusic for the environmental focused song “Crisis” with Bachmier on vocals and guitar.

The band produced four more fulllength albums before disbanding in 2002. The remaining players eventually reunited without Bachmier in 2013. Although he wanted nothing to do with the group, he gave the existing members his blessing and they continued on.

Now, Bachmier has publicly renounced D.O.P., apologizing for the band’s evil music. This is troubling since Bachmier has copyright on the old songs, but his trademark of the Disciples of Power name was expunged in 2014.

I ask the band what happened with Bachmier after they played a few more tunes.

The room falls to an uneasy silence.

“Well ... we don’t really know,” guitarist Wes Sontag says, followed by a sigh.

“Everything was cool when we got back together,” Relf says. “He said ‘go ahead,’ but somewhere along the line he didn’t want it to go on I guess. He’s in a different state of mind now. The guy was like a brother to us. We’ve been through some shit together back in the day, so it does hurt.”

This hasn't stopped the members from turning out material, but it will be under a different name.

“We’re ready to move on and eventually record the new stuff,” Relf says.

After listening to two new songs, it’s apparent the new material will stay true to the old D.O.P. sound, but easily stand on its own.

“It’s still technical, but I think

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

Sat., Mar. 25 (6 pm) Slaughterfest 2017 w/ Disciples of Power, Display of Decay, Barrows, and more The Forge, $15 in advance, $20 at the door

there’s a lot more groove in it," Sontag says. "It’s not straight 4/4 beats, we're mixing it up with polyrhythms, but it’s still pretty heavy. Maybe even more so.”

The band is eager to play Slaughterfest this Saturday for past fans, but also for potential new ones.

“Disciples of Power has always been a live band,” bassist Chris Chapman explains.

“All I gotta say is grandpa’s got game,” Sontag says, followed by laughs. “We may be older now, but the new stuff holds up pretty good and we can still rip it on stage.”

STEPHAN BOISSONNEAULT STEPHAN@VUEWEEKLY.COM

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Havana Green (right) oversees the recording of Don't Bet Against The House // JProcktor

Tuffhouse places its bets

New collaborative album keeps it local while aiming global

T

uffhouse Records founder Havana Green has had one particular project on his mind since celebrating his label’s 20th anniversary last year. After two years of blood, sweat and beats, Green and his associates are set to unleash Don’t Bet Against The House on Mar. 28—the first in a “thrill-ogy” of collaborative albums featuring predominately local hip-hop artists.

“I have to believe not just in my artists, but in my city,” Green says. “I know a lot of the artists because I’ve seen them perform, I’ve seen them go to work, I’ve seen them do what they love. But they still truly haven’t had the opportunity to be heard.”

The 26-track group album includes 35 feature performances, ranging from Tuffhouse signees, Albertabased artists and added contributors from Canada and around the world.

Due to the volume of contributors, the recording of Don’t Bet Against The House was a meticulous two-year process. At one point, Green and his team had 75 songs to choose from.

“Just like anything good, it’s worth the wait and the time to develop it,” Green says of the process. “Any project that comes off the label is personal to us, and it’s close to our heart. If we were truly serious about it, we wanted to make sure we took the time—especially myself.”

A certain level of craftsmanship was expected from each artist contributing to the project—whether it was writing rhymes, singing hooks or beatmaking. Green would call in three friends he refers to as “The Committee,” to sit down and critique the album with him. This sobering process helped him maintain a high quality of performance up until the finished product.

“If we’re going to step out, we have to step out with our best foot forward,” Green explains. “We had a lot of different people giving us their input, so we wanted to make a proper gumbo with what the sound and music offered. That’s what makes success.”

Green and his crew have high ex-

Thurs., Mar. 30 (8 pm) Don’t Bet Against The House: Album Release Party The Needle, $25 at the door pectations for Don’t Bet Against The House, but that isn’t to say there won’t be relief once it’s available to public.

“If I sell one copy, I’m happy,” Green says. “Because the music, the gospel we’re putting out, will be out. It’s not going to be hidden anymore.”

The record’s first music video “From Ours To Yours” will be released Mar. 25, featuring a outro from the Tuffhouse boss himself. In the song, Green makes clear again that his home is in Alberta and that’s where he plans to stay.

“I say at the end [of the album] ‘Alberta pride,’ and I mean Alberta pride.

We’ve been overlooked and we’ve been shit on and basically, those days are now done in my book.”

LEE BUTLER

LEE@VUEWEEKLY.COM

CJSR Presents a FREE community appreciation screening of SUPERMAN! Dedicated to all the superheroes who volunteer with and donate to our beloved station 6:30 PM at Metro Cinema on Monday, March 27 More super CJSR prizes than you can shake a stick of Kryponite at!

Donations welcome VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

EDMONTON’S LISTENER SUPPORTED VOLUNTEER POWERED CAMPUS COMMUNITY R A D I O S TAT I O N

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MUSIC PREVUE // DESERT ROCK

Truckfighters // Andreas Von Ahn

Truckfighters talk about controversial music video and drummer dilemma

T

he distance from the sweltering deserts of Southern California to the frost-bitten forests of Sweden may be a long one, but it didn’t stop the inspiration of one of the heaviest fuzz groove bands, Truckfighters.

Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age once, very drunkenly, called them “the best band in the world.” Even though the members don’t necessarily agree, they have continuously put their spin on the thunderous desert rock genre for 16 years with no plans to stop.

Hailing from Örebro, Sweden, Oskar “Ozo” Cedermalm and Niklas “Dango” Källgren began jamming after realizing they needed to record

while pursuing sound engineering school in Sweden.

Appreciating American stoner rock bands Fu Manchu and Kyuss, the two found their home within the genre.

“It was just the kind of music we both liked,” Källgren says. “We knew that we wanted to sound even heavier than Kyuss, but we never knew we would become an actual band.”

With Källgren on guitar and Cedermalm on bass, the two wrote the iconic fuzzed-out “Desert Cruiser” during their first jam. Little did they know, the song would become Truckfighters most celebrated track.

After writing more songs and finding two drummers, Andreas “Paco”

von Ahn and Oscar “Pezo” Johansson, Truckfighters recorded and released their debut album Gravity X in 2005.

Finding a fixed drummer has always been a dilemma for Truckfighters. It now seems they have a new one every year.

“It was never a thing we wanted at all,” Cedermalm says. “We had the first real drummer for four years and after Paco damaged his wrist it’s been a new one every year. Me and Dango are getting older and this band is our baby. So we need a drummer who is committed to record and play live and that can be difficult with life.”

Although, the drummer dilemma didn’t stop Truckfighters from releasing its latest album, V, last September. The newest set of recordings offer a fresh sound for Truckfight-

MUSIC NOTES

14 MUSIC

ers—intermingling the classic stoner rock sound with atmospheric and progressive instrumental passages.

Once the music video for V’s opening track “Calm Before The Storm” was released, Truckfighters found themselves in the middle of unwanted controversy due to the video's depiction of the gruesome, real murder of 17-year-old, Swede, Lisa Holm.

Aftonbladet, a popular Swedish paper, shamed Truckfighters for the video, saying it was disrespectful and a tactful way for the band to “line its pockets.”

“We touched on a tragic real life event and the song is about living with terrible things and not throwing them under the carpet," Cedermalm says. "I think the worse thing is that so many people saw it as a chance to throw horseshit and say we were in it

Fri., Mar. 24 (8 pm) Truckfighters with Yawning Man, We Hunt Buffalo, and The Mothercraft Starlite Room, $26 for money.”

Källgren adds, “And that’s really funny because you don’t make much money from writing an eight-minutelong song.”

The song itself is the perfect opening to V, beginning with a quiet jazz-oriented interlude and slowly climaxing into a massive wall of sound chorus.

Most of the songs found on V are musically quite technical. This is easily heard in “Gehenna,” which bounces from various time signatures to offbeat polyrhythmic delays.

“It’s good that we are not educated in music,” Cedermalm says. “It lets us be free and unrestricted to be musically interesting.”

STEPHAN BOISSONNEAULT STEPHAN@VUEWEEKLY.COM

STEPHAN BOISSONNEAULT // STEPHAN@VUEWEEKLY.COM

Old Wives // Fri., Mar. 24 (9 PM) Want some good ol’ pop-punk to remind you of your boarding days? Direct yourself to an Old Wives show.

This angsty three-piece has been chanting that it “sucks to grow up” for years now, reminding everyone how much adolescence, well ... sucks. Calgary’s The Ativans, and Julius Sumner Miller will be joining them. And don’t forget some of Edmonton’s newest punks, Debutant.

(The Sewing Machine Factory, $10 at the door, all ages)

Motonogo // Thur., Mar. 23 (8 PM) With a lack of coordination and musicianship, local loud noise stooges Motonogo are trying, again, to play a successful live show. So come and watch the “worst band in Edmonton,” open for modular synth veteran Borys, and berate themselves on stage as they are commonly known to do. (Bohemia, $10 at door)

PLURaL Cabaret // Sat., Mar. 25 (6 PM) The perfect event to end International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination featuring poetry, Italian food and music by the “So Happy” Bill Carley, local lawn gnome, Paul McGown, experimental hip-hop wordsmith KazMega, and more. (Massawa Cafe & Bistro, donations at door)

The Eclipse // Fri., Mar. 24 (8 PM) Local darlings The Eclipse are pretty new to the indie rock scene, but their catchy synth, whimsical guitar, and good vibe lyrics put them on par with bands like Metric. Supporting them is Calgary’s one-man electro pop orchestra Hello Moth as well as local songbird Lyra Brown. (Mercury Room, $10 in advance)

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

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Re-seeding the crop

Fri., Mar. 24 (8 pm) The Wheat Pool w/ Post Script The Needle $15 in advance or at the door

The Wheat Pool reunites for reunion gig after five years apart

A

lot can change in five years, and it has for ex-members of local band The Wheat Pool.

Mike Angus is married, his brother Robb Angus is with his new group (The Dungarees), drummer Stephan Dagenais (who doesn’t own a drum kit anymore) has moved to Canmore, and Glen Erickson has stepped behind the scenes as a publicist at West Public. Needless to say—but I’ll say it anyway because I’m writing this goddamn story—The Wheat Pool wasn’t sure what would happen when they decided to get together for a one-off reunion show.

“I didn't’ know what to expect,” Robb says. “Common sense would tell you to expect something pretty shitty.”

Let’s put common sense aside for a moment and look back at who The Wheat Pool were. Formed in 2004, the dark-country quartet released an EP, two full-length albums and toured the country playing countless shows.

Their music has received rave reviews at home and at large, and with a relisten to their catalogue, their previous tracks still have legs.

Then one fateful day, at the now defunct Pawn Shop, the group amicably called it quits in front of a packed house. That was five years ago. And here we are now, with the group reuniting for one final show at The Needle.

“Five years is a long time for a band and it’s a long time for a bar,” Robb said referring to the Pawn Shop.

“The Needle is great, it is the obvious choice for us.”

Clichés about ‘chemistry’ and it being ‘like riding a bike’ aside, the brothers Angus had real concerns about the group’s ability to play together after such a long hiatus.

“We had drove down to Calgary and did a week of rehearsals, and I didn’t know what to expect,” Mike says. “Stephan hadn’t played drums in almost five years. But, from the first note of the first rehearsal, we fell right back into it. It was a big relief for me.”

Things fell into place. The four friends got their groove back and are looking forward to a night of nostalgia. And, as

Mike points out, it isn’t just about getting back on stage individually.

“If Stephan said he wasn’t going to do [the reunion gig], I wasn’t even interested in it,” Mike says. “We could have found anyone to replace any of us really. But we just want to play together again, there really isn’t any other reason.”

The members share a special bond, a special language as the brothers put it. While half the band is literal family, one cannot pull out another cliché to describe the band as all being brothers.

“What made that band was the collection of our personalities,” Mike explains. “I mean, I play hockey and I hear players talk about how, when they play with certain guys, they just know where he is going to be. They just have to put the puck there. It is kind of like that same thing. If I forget something or fuck something up, I knew the rest of the guys would be there to carry it.”

“Or to point the finger,” Robb adds.

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EMAIL YOUR FREE LISTINGS TO: LISTINGS@VUEWEEKLY.COM FAX: 780.426.2889 DEADLINE: FRIDAY AT 3PM

CAFÉ HAVEN Music every Thu; 7pm CHA ISLAND Thursday open stage DV8 Cancer is No Joke Volume 2: Mustakettu and guests; 8pm; No minors EVOLUTION WONDERLOUNGE

Karaoke; Every Thu, 7pm FIDDLER'S ROOST Acoustic Circle Jam; 7:30-11:30pm THE FORGE ON WHYTE

Temporalysis, Abruzzi Spur, Poor Little TinMan & Ontario Banderas; 8pm; $10 (adv), $15 (door); 18+ only

THU MAR 23 9910 Jesse & The Dandelions (pop/rock) with

Fever Feel and OJ Pimpson; 9pm; $10 (adv) BLUES ON WHYTE Little Mike & The Tornadoes;

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HUMMINGBIRD BISTRO CAFE

Bistro Jazz; Every Thu, 7:30pm; Free JT'S BAR AND GRILL Open Stage–

BLVD SUPPER X CLUB B**ch A Little, Wine Alot

(house, hip-hop and reggae music); Every Thu; No cover

Thursday Nights; Every Thu JUBILATIONS DINNER THEATRE

ATLANTIC TRAP & GILL Nova Scotiables; 8:30pm; $5

SHERLOCK HOLMES–DOWNTOWN

Cody Mack (alternative/rock); 9pm

CENTURY CASINO–ST. ALBERT The Give 'Em Hell Boys; 9pm; Free

BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Alberta Battle of the Blues–Rematch; 8:3010:30pm; $15

SHERLOCK HOLMES–WEM Doug Stroud (country/pop/rock); 9pm

DENIZEN HALL Champ City Soundtrack; Every Fri-Sat

SIDELINER’S PUB Friday Night Bands: live music; Every Fri

DRAKE HOTEL Open Jam–

BLUES ON WHYTE Little Mike & The

Tornadoes; 9pm

STARLITE ROOM Truckfighters

BOHEMIA Holy Void with Dead

Fibres, Nolan Bossert & Skymall, PIKE; 8pm; $10; 18+ only

with We Hunt Buffalo, Greenleaf, The Mothercraft; 8pm; $26; 18+ only

BORDERLINE SPORTS PUB Karaoke/

ST. BASIL'S CULTURAL CENTRE

DJ; Every Thu-Sat, 9pm

Leeroy Stagger; $20 (adv), $25 (door)

BRITTANY'S LOUNGE Scrambled

YEG: Open Genre Variety Stage: artist from all mediums are encouraged to occupy the stage and share their creations; Every Tue-Fri, 5-8pm

TIRAMISU BISTRO Live music every Fri with local musicians

CAFE BLACKBIRD Passburg,

YARDBIRD SUITE 60th Anniversary

Kimberley Macgregor, Max Uhlich; 8pm; $10

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Ferris Bueller's School of Rock; until Apr. 2 (Wed-Sun); $33.25$77.95

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THE BUCKINGHAM Tuckingham: Bands Fronted

Thursdays; Every Thu, 9pm; $5 (some events)

by Drag Queens, featuring Bad Buddy with NEK Trio, Borscht and more; 7pm; $10 (adv)

Bieker; all ages; 7-9pm; $5 (door)

Queen; 8pm; $39-$69

Give 'Em Hell Boys; 9pm; Free

DJs

DENIZEN HALL Champ City Soundtrack; Every Fri-Sat

9910 Neighbour with NVS and

Mateeson; 9pm; $12 (adv)

LB'S PUB Mark Ammar's Saturday Sessions Jam; Every Sat, 4-8pm • 69 Ave (rock/pop/indie); 9pm; No minors MERCURY ROOM Lusitania Lights

with X62 and Lisa Anderson; 8pm; $10 (adv)

northlands.com

O’BYRNE’S IRISH PUB Live music THE REC ROOM Karaoke with live

band, The Nervous Flirts; Every other Thu, 7pm SANDS INN & SUITES Karaoke

SQUARE 1 COFFEE Singer/ Songwriter Open Mic (individual performer format, first-come, first served); Every Thu, 7-9pm; All ages

MAR 24-25

STARLITE ROOM Shades and Ivy

Lab; 9pm; $20-$25; 18+ only TAVERN ON WHYTE Open stage

with Michael Gress (from Self Evolution); every Thu; 9pm-2am WINSPEAR CENTRE Passenger;

8pm; $45 WOODRACK CAFÉ Birdie on a Branch; 2nd Thu of every month, 7-8:30pm; No cover (donations welcome) YARDBIRD SUITE 60th Anniversary

THURSDAY, APR 20

Michael Chenoweth; 4-6pm; No cover THE FORGE ON WHYTE ShawStock

2017–A Stollery Children’s Hospital Fundraiser; 8pm; $15 (adv), $20 (door); 18+ only

THE COMMON Quality Control

Fridays with DJ Echo & Freshlan EL CORTEZ MEXICAN KITCHEN + TEQUILA BAR Resident DJs playing

the best in hip hop, dance and classics; Every Fri-Sat, 9pm; No cover

IRONGATE PUB Bryant Sailor; Every

GAS PUMP Live DJ; 10pm

Flashback Friday; Every Fri

Fri-Sat, 7pm; No cover

THE PROVINCIAL PUB Video Music

JUBILATIONS DINNER THEATRE

DJ; 9pm-2am

MKT FRESH FOOD AND BEER MARKET Live local bands every

Sat NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Soul Saturday Brunch with Jillian Brady and Angela Proulx; 11am; no cover • Spring Time Jizz Jazz: Capital City Burlesque with Doug Organ Quartet; 9:30pm; $20 (adv) NEW WEST HOTEL Early: Saturday

Country Jam (country); Every Sat, 3pm • Later : Sonny & The Hurricanes; 9pm NORTHLANDS COLISEUM Chris Stapleton; 7:30pm; $50-$70 ON THE ROCKS Crazy Dave's Renegades; 9pm PALACE CASINO Colleen Rae & Cornerstone; 9:30pm REC ROOM The Hearts; 9pm SEWING MACHINE FACTORY

Brunch Club Tape Release Party with Crystal Eyes, Space Classic Bobbitopickles, and Chace Moore; 9pm; $10 SHAKERS ROADHOUSE Blood Sweat & Brass with Joe Piccolo; 9pm; no minors; $10 (adv), $15 (door)

Ferris Buellers School of Rock; Until Apr 2 (Wed-Sun); $33.25$77.95

Y AFTERHOURS Live DJs; Every

LB'S PUB Powerhouse (rock/pop/

SAT MAR 25

SHERLOCK HOLMES–DOWNTOWN

ALIBI PUB The Shufflehounds;

8pm; No cover

SHERLOCK HOLMES–WEM Doug Stroud (country/pop/rock); 9pm

ATLANTIC TRAP & GILL Nova Scotiables; 8:30pm; $5

STARLITE ROOM The Zolas; 6:30pm; $19; All ages

BAILEY THEATRE–CAMROSE Leeroy Stagger; 8pm; $25 (adult) $15 (student) at the Bailey Box Office or online

UNION HALL Ageya Ni Ohi Billo

indie); 9pm; No minors LION'S HEAD PUB Jake Ian; 8pm MERCURY ROOM Hello Moth

featuring The Confusionaires; 5:30pm • The Wheat Pool with Post Script; 8pm; $15 (adv) NEW WEST HOTEL Sonny & The

Hurricanes; 9pm O'BYRNE'S IRISH PUB Edmonton's

Renegades; 9pm PALACE CASINO Colleen Rae &

with DJ Fuuze; 8pm; $5

Cornerstone; 9:30pm

THE COMMON The Common

RIVER CREE–The Venue The Tea

ON THE ROCKS Salsa Rocks: every Thu; dance lessons at 8pm; Cuban Salsa DJ to follow

Remo, Noosh, Fingertips & guests; Underdog: rap, house, hip hop with DJ Babr; every Fri

EVOLUTION WONDERLOUNGE

BRIXX BAR Funked Up Thursdays

Uncommon Thursday: Rotating guests each week

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor: DJ Late Fee; Every Fri; Wooftop: Selection Fridays with

HAVE MERCY Resident DJs playing outlaw country, rock and retro classics; Every Fri-Sat, 10pm; No cover

with DJ Modest Mike; Every Thu; Wooftop Lounge: Dear Hip Hop with Freshlan; Underdog: Underdog Comedy Show

FRI MAR 24

16 MUSIC

FIONN MACCOOL'S–DOWNTOWN

NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Happy Hour

Fl: Rock N' Roll, Funk & Soul

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT CENTURY CASINO AND TICKETMASTER

Case Event; 9:30pm; No minors

ALBERTA COLLEGE CAMPUS

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Thu Main

COMING SOON: HELIX & KICK AXE, CHUBBY CHECKER, DAVID JAMES & BIG RIVER: JOHNNY CASH TRIBUTE, AND MORE!

DV8 Blaaze It Or Plaay It Show

Classical

DJs

SATURDAY, APR 29

DUGGAN'S BOUNDARY Stan Gallant;

9pm

(alternative/electronic/pop) with Lyra Brown and The Eclipse; 8pm; $10 (adv)

Midday Concert–Dan Davis Trio; 12-1pm

A Tribute to Billy Joel & Eltt John

edmonton.cnty.com

Weekend; 7pm (doors), 8pm (show); $30 (members), $34 (guests)

HAVE MERCY Resident DJs playing outlaw country, rock and retro classics; Every Fri-Sat, 10pm; No cover

Ferris Bueller's School of Rock; Until Apr 2 (Wed-Sun); $33.25$77.95

NORTH GLENORA HALL Jam by Wild Rose Old Tyme Fiddlers every Thu; 7pm

JOHN CULLEN

featuring Murray Kinsley & Wicked Grin; 7pm (door), 8pm (show); $10 (EBS members), $15 (guests)

Fri-Sat, 7pm; No cover

NEW WEST HOTEL Sonny & The

SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Live Blues every Thu: rotating guests; 7-11pm

& 10pm

JUBILATIONS DINNER THEATRE

Hurricanes; 9pm

Call 780.481.YUKS FOR TICKETS & INFO .....................................................................

Slaughterfest 2017; 6pm; No minors

IRONGATE PUB Bryant Sailor; Every

Hour featuring Evergreen; 5:30pm • Blessing in Disguise album release, featuring Kayla Patrick with Hill and The MNKD; 8pm; $12 (adv)

COMEDY AT THE CENTURY CASINO

7:30pm; $37-$41

GERMAN CANADIAN CULTURAL CENTRE EBS March Blues Dance

NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Happy

Thursday Jam with host Randy Big Daddy Forsberg; 7pm

FESTIVAL PLACE Bobby Bazini;

LA CITÉ FRANCOPHONE Opus@12

stage; 7pm

SHAKERS ROADHOUSE Big Daddy

the Empress: this week featuring: The Wafer Thin Mints; Every Sat, 4-6pm; Free; 18+ only

GAS PUMP Saturday Jam; 3-7pm

NAKED CYBERCAFÉ Thu open

Thursdays with JR; Every Thu, 9pm-1am

EMPRESS ALE HOUSE Bands at

Classical

WINSPEAR CENTRE The Music of

CENTURY CASINO–ST. ALBERT The

DV8 Dysttalis with King Mammoth and Midget Hunters; 9pm; No minors

THE FORGE ON WHYTE

CASINO YELLOWHEAD 5 On the

MAMA'S GIN JOINT Live Music

DUGGAN'S BOUNDARY Stan Gallant;

9pm

Weekend; 7pm (doors), 8pm (show); $30 (members), $34 (guests)

Chamber Concert Society; 121pm; Free

Side; 9pm

MOONSHINERS Moonshiners Jam

Live Music Fridays; Each Fri, 8-10pm; $5 suggested donation

CASINO EDMONTON M.A.R.S.; 9pm

Russell Johnston

Night with Rockin' Rod; Every Thu, 7pm; No minors

CAFE BLACKBIRD Erin Yamabe; 7:30pm; $6

CAFFREY'S IN THE PARK Live

WILD EARTH BAKERY–MILLCREEK

Saturdays; every Sat, 2-5pm • House band; 5-8pm • Guest band; 8pm • No minors

best solo musicians ON THE ROCKS Crazy Dave's

Party–20 Years of Transmission Tour; 7pm (doors), 9pm (show); Tickets start at $29.99 SANDS INN & SUITES Karaoke with

entertainment, every Fri SHAKERS ROADHOUSE Feature

Artist Showcase Night: The Randy Forsberg Band featuring Danita; 9pm; $5; no minors

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

Fri-Sat

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Hair of the Dog: Peter & the Wolves; 4-6pm; no cover BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Alex Pangman; 8:30-10:30pm; $20 BLUES ON WHYTE Little Mike & The

Tornadoes; 9pm BOHEMIA 10 Minute Detour; 9pm BORDERLINE SPORTS PUB Karaoke/

DJ; Every Thu-Sat, 9pm CAFE BLACKBIRD Le Fuzz; 8pm;

$15 CAFFREY'S IN THE PARK Live

music; 9pm CARROT COFFEEHOUSE Sat open

Cody Mack (alternative/rock); 9pm

Time; 9:30pm; 18+ only WINSPEAR CENTRE The Music of

Queen; 8pm; $39-$69 YARDBIRD SUITE 60th Anniversary Weekend; 7pm (doors), 8pm (show); $30 (members), $34 (guests)

Classical JOHN L. HAAR THEATRE MacEwan

University Music presents: Showcase Band; 7-9pm; $11.75$13.75 UNITARIAN CHURCH OF EDMONTON

Spring cabaret and silent auction

DJs 9910 Justin Foosh with DJ Echo,

mic; 7pm; $2

DJ Twist and Sonny Grimezz; 9pm; $7 (door)

CASINO EDMONTON M.A.R.S.; 9pm

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor:

CASINO YELLOWHEAD 5 On the

DJ Chris Bruce spins britpop/punk/ garage/indie; every Sat; Wooftop:

Side; 9pm

Sound It Up! with DJ Sonny Grimezz spinning classic hip-hop and reggae; Underdog: hip hop open mic followed by DJ Marack THE COMMON Get Down, It's Saturday Night: House and disco and everything in between with Wright & Wong, Dane

NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Soul Sunday Brunch with Roxanne Potvin and Ben Sures; 11am; no cover • Vibe on Sundays presented by: Alize and Koba; 9pm; no cover

SIDELINER’S PUB Singer/ Songwriter Monday Night Open Stage; Hosted by Celeigh Cardinal; every Mon (except long weekends), 8:30pm

NEWCASTLE PUB Sunday Soul Service: acoustic open stage; every Sun, 3pm

STARLITE ROOM Despised Icon, Carnifex, Fallujah, Rings of Saturn, Lorna Shore; 7pm; $28.50; 18+ only

DUGGAN'S BOUNDARY Wed open mic with host Duff Robison; 8pm

DJs

GAS PUMP Karaoke; 9:30pm

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor:

HAVE MERCY Whiskey Wednesdays Live Piano Karaoke featuring the Fab Tiff Hall; every Wed, 8:30pm

EL CORTEZ MEXICAN KITCHEN + TEQUILA BAR Resident DJs playing

O’BYRNE’S Open mic every Sun;

the best in hip hop, dance and classics; every Fri-Sat, 9pm; No cover

ON THE ROCKS The Unlisted; 9pm

9:30pm SANDS INN & SUITES Open Jam;

every Sun, 7-11pm

ENVY NIGHT CLUB Resolution

Saturdays: top 40, throwbacks and club anthems EVOLUTION WONDERLOUNGE

Rotating DJs Velix and Suco; every Sat

SHAKERS ROADHOUSE The Sunday

Happening Jam featuring The Todd James Band; 4pm

every Sat THE PROVINCIAL PUB Saturday Nights: Indie rock and dance with DJ Maurice; 9pm-2am SUGAR FOOT BALLROOM Swing

Dance Party: Sugar Swing Dance Club every Sat, 8-12; no experience or partner needed, beginner lesson followed by social dance; sugarswing.com

TAVERN ON WHYTE Classic hip

hop with DJ Creeazn every Mon; 9pm-2am

TUE MAR 28

Classical

MERCER TAVERN DJ Mikey Wong

Substance with Eddie Lunchpail

ALL SAINTS’ CATHEDRAL With a

Voice of Triumph; 7:30pm; $20 (adult), $15 (student/senior)

BLUES ON WHYTE Guitarface; 9pm BRITTANY'S LOUNGE Scrambled

BRITTANY'S LOUNGE Scrambled

JT'S BAR AND GRILL Karaoke;

Every Tue-Wed JUBILATIONS DINNER THEATRE

Ferris Bueller's School of Rock; Until Apr 2 (Wed-Sun); $33.25$77.95

Music of Great Political Films featuring the Edmonton Pops Orchestra; 7:30pm; $31-$35

YEG: Open Genre Variety Stage: artist from all mediums are encouraged to occupy the stage and share their creations; every Tue-Fri, 5-8pm

ROBERTSON WESLEY UNITED CHURCH Duo Flutes; 3pm; $30

BRIXX BAR Lisa LeBlanc; 8pm; $10; 18+ only

MAMA'S GIN JOINT Wednesday

(adult), $25 (student/seniors 65+), $15 (youth 17 and under)

FIDDLER'S ROOST Fiddle Jam

Circle; 7:30-11:30pm

NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Happy

WINSPEAR CENTRE Shadows and

GAS PUMP Karaoke; 9:30pm

FESTIVAL PLACE Politico: The

KRUSH ULTRALOUNGE Karaoke

Kraziness with host Ryan Kasteel; 8pm-2am LEAF BAR & GRILL Wang Dang Wednesdays; every Wed, 7-11pm

Karaoke; every Wed, 9pm; free Hour featuring Michael Reinhart; 5:30pm • The Denim Daddies with VERA; 8pm; No cover

TAVERN ON WHYTE Soul, motown, funk, R&B and more with DJs Ben and Mitch; every Sat; 9pm-2am

Light; 3pm; $10 (student), $20 (adult), $15 (senior)

Every Tue-Wed

NEW WEST HOTEL Trick Ryder; 9pm

Y AFTERHOURS Live DJs; every

DJs

LB'S PUB Tuesday Night Open Jam

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor:

DJ Zyppy; every Sun

Hosted by Darrell Barr; 7-11pm; No charge

ON THE ROCKS Karaoke Wednesdays hosted by ED; Every Wed, 9pm

GAS PUMP Kizomba-DJ; 8pm

MAMA'S GIN JOINT Tuesday open

PLEASANTVIEW COMMUNITY HALL

Hosted by Rhea March; every Sun, 6:30-10pm; Free

MON MAR 27

NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Happy

BAILEY THEATRE–CAMROSE The Bailey Buckaroos; 2pm; $15 at the Bailey Box Office or online

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Wooftop:

Fri-Sat

SUN MAR 26 THE ALMANAC Sunday Song Stage

BLIND PIG PUB Blind Pig Pub Jam with Forever 51; every Sun, 3-6:30pm

Metal Mondays with Metal Phil from CJSR's Heavy Metal Lunchbox BLUES ON WHYTE Guitarface; 9pm

NEW WEST HOTEL Trick Ryder; 9pm

CAFE BLACKBIRD Edmonton

O’BYRNE’S Guinness Celtic jam

Ukulele Circle; 6:30pm; free

Findlay; 9am-2:30pm; cover by donation

CHA ISLAND Karaoke Monday

Tornadoes; 9pm

7-11pm

Every Sun, 2pm; no minors HAVE MERCY YEG Music presents

“Compete With The Beat”; every Sun, 6pm; $10 JUBILATIONS DINNER THEATRE

Ferris Bueller's School of Rock; until Apr. 2 (Wed-Sun); $33.25$77.95 MAMA'S GIN JOINT Sunday Jam

out in your Jammies; every Sun, 3-10pm; free MOONSHINERS Sunday Noon

Acoustic Jam; every Sun, 12pm

DEVANEY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke night; Every Mon, 9pm; free FIDDLER'S ROOST Open stage;

DRAKE HOTEL Sunday Jamming;

mic; every Tue, 9pm; free Hour–Rising Star featuring Danielle Deighton with Abi Garth and Aiden Holland; 5:30pm • Big Dreamer Jam featuring Frank Bessai; 8pm

BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Brunch with Jim

BLUES ON WHYTE Little Mike & The

JT'S BAR AND GRILL Karaoke;

HAVE MERCY Have Mercy Blues Jam hosted by Dylan Farrell Band; every Mon, 8:30pm (sign up) NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN Happy Hour

featuring Barefoot Bob; 5:30pm

every Tue; 9:30pm SHAKERS ROADHOUSE Jamerama, with Tall Dark & Dirty; 7pm YARDBIRD SUITE Tuesday Session:

Rubim De Toledo Quartet; 7:30pm (door), 8pm (show); $5

DJs BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor:

Chris Bruce spins britpop/punk/ garage/indie; Every Tue

NEW WEST HOTEL Trick Ryder; 9pm

EL CORTEZ MEXICAN KITCHEN + TEQUILA BAR Taco Tuesday with

PLEASANTVIEW COMMUNITY HALL

resident DJs

Wild Rose Old Tyme Fiddlers Association: Acoustic instrumental old time fiddle jam every Mon; hosted by the Wild Rose Old Tyme Fiddlers Society; 7pm

WED MAR 29

Acoustic Bluegrass jam presented by the Northern Bluegrass Circle Music Society; Guests and newcomers always welcome; every Wed, 7pm; $2 (donation, per person), free coffee available THE PROVINCIAL PUB Karaoke

Wednesday SHAKERS ROADHOUSE 4 Dollar Bill

cafeblackbird.ca CAFÉ HAVEN 9 Sioux Rd, Sherwood Park, 780.417.5523, cafehaven.ca CAFFREY'S IN THE PARK 99, 23349 Wye Rd, Sherwood Park CARROT COFFEEHOUSE 9351118 Ave, 780.471.1580 CASINO EDMONTON 7055 Argylll Rd, 780.463.9467 CASINO YELLOWHEAD 12464153 St, 780.424 9467 CASK AND BARREL 10041104 St; 780.498.1224, thecaskandbarrel.ca CENTRAL SENIOR LIONS CENTRE 11113-113 St CENTURY CASINO–EDMONTON 13103 Fort Rd, 780.643.4000 CENTURY CASINO–ST. ALBERT 24 Boudreau Rd, St. Albert, 780.460.8092 CHA ISLAND TEA CO 10332-81 Ave, 780.757.2482 CHVRCH OF JOHN 10260-103 St, 780.884.8994, thechvrchofjohn. com COMMON 9910-109 St CONVOCATION HALL Old Arts Building, University of Alberta, music.ualberta.ca DENIZEN HALL 10311-103 Ave, 780.424.8215, thedenizenhall. com DEVANEY'S IRISH PUB 1111387 Ave NW, devaneyspub.com DUGGAN'S BOUNDARY 9013-88 Ave, 780.465.4834 DV8/MAMA'S PIZZA 7317-101 Ave NW EL CORTEZ MEXICAN KITCHEN + TEQUILA BAR 8230 Gateway Blvd, elcortezcantina.com EMPRESS ALE HOUSE 9912-82 Ave NW

10030 - 102 STREET TICKETS FOR STARLITE ROOM SHOWS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT

WWW.STARLITEROOM.COM

MAIN ROOM UBK PRESENTS

MAR/24 TRUCKFIGHTERS W/ WE HUNT BUFFALO, GREENLEAF, THE MOTHERCRAFT CONCERTWORKS.CA PRESENTS

MAR/25 THE ZOLAS ALL AGES W/ GUESTS MRG CONCERTS PRESENTS

MAR/27 DESPISED ICON, CARNIFEX W/ FALLUJAH, RINGS OF SATURN, LORNA SHORE CONCERTWORKS.CA PRESENTS

MAR/31 AMORPHIS W/ SWALLOW THE SUN CONCERTWORKS.CA PRESENTS

APR/1

ALL BLOWN UP PRESENTS

APR/2

LIVENATION.COM PRESENTS

APR/7

STARLITE IS PROUD TO PRESENT

APR/8

CONCERTWORKS PRESENTS

TAVERN ON WHYTE Karaoke; 9pm

Classical MCDOUGALL UNITED CHURCH Music Wednesdays At Noon: Vaughan String Quartet (Mar. 29); 12:1012:50pm; Free

DJs BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor:

DJ Late Fee; every Wed PINT DOWNTOWN Wild Wing Wednesdays at the Pint with DJ Thomas Culture; every Wed, 10pm RANCH ROADHOUSE DJ Shocker and Seelo Mondo; every Wed

ENVY NIGHT CLUB West Edmonton Mall, 8882 170 St EVOLUTION WONDERLOUNGE 10220-103 St NW, 780.

424.0077, yourgaybar.com FESTIVAL PLACE 100 Festival Way, Sherwood Park, 780.449.3378 FIDDLER'S ROOST 7308-76 Ave, 780.439.9788, fiddlersroost.ca FIONN MACCOOL'S–DOWNTOWN Edmonton City Centre, 10200102A Ave NW THE FORGE ON WHYTE 1054982 Ave (Whyte Ave) GAS PUMP NIGHT CLUB & BAR 10166-114 St GERMAN CANADIAN CULTURAL CENTRE 8310 Roper Rd NW HAVE MERCY SOUTHERN TABLE + BAR 8232 Gateway Blvd, havemercy.ca HOLY TRINITY ANGLICAN CHURCH 10037-84 Ave NW, 780.433.5530, holytrinity.ab.ca HORIZON STAGE 1001 Calahoo Rd, Spruce Grove, 780.962.8995, horizonstage.com JOHN L. HAAR 10045-155 St NW JT'S BAR AND GRILL 1107 Knottwood Road East JUBILEE AUDITORIUM 1145587 Ave NW, 780.427.2760, jubileeauditorium.com LA CITÈ FRANCOPHONE 8627-91 St L.B.’S PUB 23 Akins Dr, St Albert, 780.460.9100 MAMA'S GIN JOINT 11723 Jasper Ave, 780.705.0998, mamasginjoint.com MCDOUGALL UNITED CHURCH 10086 MacDonald Dr NW, mcdougallunited.com MKT FRESH FOOD AND BEER MARKET 8101 Gateway Blvd,

780.439.2337 MERCER TAVERN 10363 104 St, 587.521.1911 MERCURY ROOM 10575-114 St MUTTART HALL 10050 Macdonald Dr, 780.633.3725 NAKED CYBERCAFÉ 10303-108 St, 780.425.9730 NEEDLE VINYL TAVERN 10524 Jasper Ave, 780.756.9045, theneedle.ca NEWCASTLE PUB 8170-50 St, 780.490.1999 NEW WEST HOTEL 15025-111 Ave NORTH GLENORA HALL 13535109A Ave NORTHLANDS COLISEUM 7424-118 Ave O’BYRNE’S 10616-82 Ave, 780.414.6766 O'MAILLES IRISH PUB 104, 398 St Albert Rd, St Albert ON THE ROCKS 11730 Jasper Ave, 780.482.4767 PALACE CASINO 8882-170 St NW, 780.444.2112, palacecasino. com PINT–DOWNTOWN 10125-109 St NW PLEASANTVIEW COMMUNITY HALL 10860-57 Ave POURHOUSE BISTRO & TAPROOM 10354-82 Ave THE PROVINCIAL PUB 160, 4211-106 St RENDEZVOUS 10108-149 St ROBERTSON WESLEY UNITED CHURCH 10209-123 St NW ROSE AND CROWN 10235-101 St SANDS INN & SUITES 12340 Fort Rd, sandshoteledmonton.com SEWING MACHINE FACTORY 9560-82 Ave NW SHAKERS ROADHOUSE Yellowhead Inn, 15004 Yellowhead Trail

ACT A FOOL W/ HUGLIFE, KNIGHT RIDERZ JUDAH & THE LION GOING TO MARS TOUR ELECTRIC 6 W/ RESIDUAL KID KATATONIA W/ CASPIAN, THE UNCURED

APR/14 STRIKER ALBUM RELEASE PARTY

CONCERTWORKS & RECORD BREAKING RECORDS PRESENTS

W/ RAVENOUS, TYLOR DORY TRIO

BLUES ON WHYTE Jason Elmore &

Hoodoo Witch; 9pm

ALL SHOWS 18+ UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

MAR/23 SHADES W/ IVY LAB

Country Jam; 7pm

APR/15 UPTOWN LIVE! FT. PAUL WOIDA & LIA COLE CONCERTWORKS PRESENTS

VENUEGUIDE 9910 9910B-109 St NW, 780.709.4734, 99ten.ca ACCENT EUROPEAN LOUNGE 8223-104 St, 780.431.0179 ALBERTA COLLEGE CAMPUS 10050 MacDonald Dr NW ALIBI PUB 17328 Stony Plain Rd NW ALL SAINTS' ANGLICAN CATHEDRAL 10035-103 St NW THE ALMANAC 10351-82 Ave, 780.760.4567, almanaconwhyte. com ARCADIA BAR 10988-124 St, 780.916.1842, arcadiayeg.com ARDEN THEATRE 5 St Anne St, St Albert, 780.459.1542, stalbert.ca/ experience/arden-theatre ATLANTIC TRAP & GILL 7704 Calgary Trail South, 780.432.4611, atlantictrapandgill.com BAILEY THEATRE 5041-50 St, Camrose, 780. 672.5510, baileytheatre.com BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE 1042582 Ave, 780.439.1082 BLIND PIG PUB 32 St Anne St, St Albert BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ 9624-76 Ave, 780.989.2861 BLUES ON WHYTE 10329-82 Ave, 780.439.3981 BLVD SUPPER X CLUB 10765 Jasper Ave BOHEMIA 10217-97 St BORDERLINE SPORTS PUB 322682 St, 780.462.1888 BRITTANY'S LOUNGE 10225-97 St, 780.497.0011 BRIXX BAR 10030-102 St (downstairs), 780.428.1099 THE BUCKINGHAM 10439 82 Ave, 780.761.1002, thebuckingham.ca CAFE BLACKBIRD 9640-142 St NW, 780.451.8890,

StarliteRoom Starliteroom starlitetoomyeg

YEG: Open Genre Variety Stage: artists from all mediums are encouraged to occupy the stage and share their creations; every Tue-Fri, 5-8pm • Wednesday Night Jazz; every Wed, 9pm

SHERLOCK HOLMES–DOWNTOWN 10012-101 A Ave, 780.426.7784, sherlockshospitality.com SHERLOCK HOLMES–WEM 8882-170 St, 780.444.1752, sherlockshospitality.com SIDELINERS PUB 11018-127 St SMOKEHOUSE BBQ 10810-124 St, 587.521.6328 SNEAKY PETE'S 12315-118 Ave SQUARE 1 COFFEE 15 Fairway Drive ST. BASIL'S CULTURAL CENTRE 10819-71 Ave NW, 780.434.4288, stbasilschurch. com STARLITE ROOM 10030-102 St, 780.428.1099 SUGAR FOOT BALLROOM 10545-81 Ave TAVERN ON WHYTE 10507-82 Ave, 780.521.4404 TIRAMISU 10750-124 St TRINITY LUTHERAN CHURCH 10014-81 Ave NW, 780.433.1604, trinity-lutheran. ab.ca UNION HALL 6240-99 St NW, 780.702-2582, unionhall.ca UNITARIAN CHURCH OF EDMONTON 10804-119 St NW UPTOWN FOLK CLUB 11150-82 St, 780.436.1554 WILD EARTH BAKERY– MILLCREEK 8902-99 St, wildearthbakery.com WINSPEAR CENTRE 4 Sir Winston Churchill Square; 780.28.1414 WOODRACK CAFE 7603-109 St, 780. 757.0380, thewoodrackcafe. com Y AFTERHOURS 10028-102 St, 780.994.3256, yafterhours.com YARDBIRD SUITE 11 Tommy Banks Way, 780.432.0428

APR/22 STICKYBUDS W/ FORT KNOX 5 UNK PRESENTS

APR/24 WEEDEATER W/ PRIMITIVE MAN CONCERTWORKS & CROWN OF VISERYS

THE STARLITE ROOM IS A PRIVATE VENUE FOR OUR MEMBERS AND THEIR GUESTS. IF YOU REQUIRE A MEMBERSHIP YOU CAN PURCHASE ONE AT THE VENUE PRIOR TO / OR AFTER THE DOOR TIMES FOR EACH SHOW.

LOWER HALL (BRIXX)

ALL SHOWS 18+ ONLY

MAR/23 WEEKLY FUNKED UP – THURSDAYS DRUM & BASS / BREAKS / HOUSE / FUNK / BASS NITEOWL ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

W/ DJ FUUZE & GUESTS

MAR/28 LISA LEBLANC W/ CELEIGH CARDINAL TRIO STARLITE ROOM IS PROUD TO PRESENT

APR/2 APR/7

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

DRAGAN KOJIC KEBA ALBERTA BASS COMMUNITY PRESENTS

SOFT CHIRPS & FRIENDS VOL. 1 W/ RUMSPRINGER, CHAINLINK, KENNY JAMES, JUICEBOX, NOXUM

MUSIC 17

EVENTS WEEKLY EMAIL YOUR FREE LISTINGS TO: LISTINGS@VUEWEEKLY.COM FAX: 780.426.2889 DEADLINE: FRIDAY AT 3PM

Tango Social Dance (Milonga): 9pm-12 • Every Fri, 7pm-midnight • $15

BRAZILIAN ZOUK DANCE CLASSES • Spazio

Performativo, 10816 95 St. NW • 780.974.4956 • hello@ludiczouk.com • ludiczouk.com/buy • Every Wed, until June 28, 7-8:30pm • $20 (drop-in, at the door); discount on classes online

COFFEE WITH COPS • The Carrot, 9351 118 Ave. NW • Hosting EPS • Apr 4, 10-11:30am

COMEDY 47TH ANNUAL BEVERLY HEIGHTS VARIETY SHOW • Beverly Heights Hall, 4209 111 Ave. • An evening of adult comedy featuring 150 Years from Eh to Zed • Every Fri-Sat, 7:3010:30pm; until Mar. 25 • $20 (via 780.471.3600)

BIG ROCK PRESENTS: DEVANEY’S COMEDY NIGHT • Devaney's, 11113 87 Ave. • 780.433.6364 • stephen.f.mcgovern@gmail.com • Weekly open mic hosted by Stephen McGovern • Every Wed, 8:30pm • Free

DROP-IN D&D • Hexagon Board Game Café, 10123 Whyte Ave. • 780.757.3105 • info@ thehexcafe.com • thehexcafe.com • For all levels of gamers and those brand new or experienced to D&D • Every Tue and Wed, 7pm • $5 DROP-IN LARP • Jackie Parker Park • westernwinds.summerfrost.ca • Battle games and fighter practice using provided safe weapon boffer.

An exciting way to get exercise while meeting new people with similar passions • Every Sat, 1:15pm • Free BALLROOM DANCE ASSOCIATION •

Underdog Comedy Show • Every Thu

Central Lions Recreation Center, 11113-113 St • 780.893.6828 • ebda.ca • An evening of ballroom, latin, country dancing • First Sat of every month, 8pm (doors)

COMEDY FACTORY • Gateway Entertainment

EDMONTON OUTDOOR CLUB (EOC) •

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE • 10425 82 Ave. •

Centre, 34 Ave, Calgary Tr. • Fri-Sat: 8:30pm • Ryan Wingfield; Mar. 23-25 • Danny Accapella; Mar. 30-Apr 1

edmontonoutdoorclub.com • Offering a variety of fun activities in and around Edmonton • Free to join; info at info@edmontonoutdoorclub.com

COMEDY ON THE ROCKS • On the Rocks,

EDMONTON STAMP CLUB SPRING SHOW • Central Lion's Centre, 11113 113 St.

11740 Jasper Ave. • A weekly comedy show featuring rotating headliners and more • Every Sun, 7-8:45pm

COMIC STRIP • Bourbon St., WEM • 780.483.5999 • Paul Mecurio; Mar 22-26 • Darren Carter; Mar 29-Apr 2 EL COMEDY • El Cortez Mexican Kitchen + Tequila Bar, 8230 Gateway Blvd. • Hosted by Dion Arnold with weekly headliners and guest comics • Every Wed, 7pm (door), 7:30pm (show) • No cover

EMPRESS ALE HOUSE • 9912 82 Ave. • Empress Comedy Night: Highlighting the best stand-up Edmonton has to offer. New headliner every week • Every Sun, 9pm • Free

SPRING EDITION OF THE DATING GAME • On the Rocks, 11740 Jasper Ave. • Hosted by Sterling Scott • Apr. 2, 7:30pm • Free

GROUPS/CLUBS/MEETINGS AIKIKAI AIKIDO CLUB • 10139 87 Ave., Old Strathcona Community League • Japanese Martial Art of Aikido • Every Tue, Thu; 7-9pm

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL EDMONTON • 8307 109 St. • amnesty@edmontonamnesty. org • edmontonamnesty.org • Meet the 4th Tue each month, 7:30pm (no meetings in Jul, Aug, Dec) • Free

ARGENTINE TANGO DANCE AT FOOT NOTES STUDIO • Foot Notes Dance Studio (South side), 9708 45 Ave. • 780.438.3207 • virenzi@shaw.ca • Argentine Tango with Tango Divino: beginners: 7-8pm; intermediate: 8-9pm;

VUECLASSIFIEDS 1600.

Volunteers Wanted

Can You Read This?

Help Someone Who Can’t!

Volunteer 2 hours a week and help someone improve their Reading, Writing, Math or English Speaking Skills.

Call Valerie at P.A.L.S. 780-424-5514 or email palsvol@shaw.ca

DO YOU LOVE COFFEE? COMMUNITY? ARTS? Be part of a great team by volunteering as a barista at The Carrot! If you have a hankering to learn the ins & outs of being a barista, and get involved in the community, please contact Meaghan at volunteer@thecarrot.ca

18 AT THE BACK

1600.

• edmontonstampclub.com • The theme: 150th Anniversary of Canada's Confederation. Featuring dealers, exhibits, circuit books, a junior table, and door prizes • Mar 25-26

FERTILITY AWARENESS CHARTING CIRCLE • Remedy Cafe, 8631 109 St. • faccedmonton@gmail.com • fertilityawarenesschartingcircle.org • First Mon each month (Oct-Jun), 6:30-8:30pm • $10 (suggested donation) • RSVP at faccedmonton@gmail.com

LOTUS QIGONG • SAGE downtown 15 Sir Winston Churchill Sq. • 780.695.4588 • Attendees can raise their vital energy with a weekly Yixue practice • Every Fri, 2-3:30pm • Free

MONDAY MINGLE • Hexagon Board Game Cafe, 10123 Whyte Ave. • 780.757.3105 • info@ thehexcafe.com • thehexcafe.com • Meet new gamers. Go to the event solo or with a group • Every Mon, 5-11pm • $5 (one drink per person)

MONTHLY MEDITATION AND VEGAN BRUNCH • Padmanadi Vegetarian Restaurant, 10740 101 St. • info@vofa.ca • bit.ly/2hO97nq • First Sat of every month, 9am-12pm • Free (confirm via Facebook or email)

NORTHERN ALBERTA WOOD CARVERS ASSOCIATION • Duggan Community Hall, 3728 106 St. • nawca.ca • Meet every Wed, 6:30pm

OPEN DOOR COMIC CREATOR MEETINGS • Happy Harbor Comics, 10729 104 Ave. • 780.452.8211 • happyharborcomics.com • Open to any skill level. Meet other artists and writers, glean tricks of the trade and gain tips to help your own work, or share what you've already done • 2nd and 4th Thu of every month, 7pm

ORGANIZATION FOR BIPOLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER (OBAD) • Grey Nuns Hospital, Rm 0651, obad@shaw.ca; Group meets every Thu, 7-9pm • Free

PAINTING FOR PLEASURE • McDougall United Church, 10086 Macdonald Dr. (south entrance) • 780.428.1818 • karenbishopartist@gmail.com • mcdougallunited.com • A weekly group for those who like to paint, draw or otherwise be creative on paper • Every Thu, 10am-noon

DON'T BE SHY–PAINT A NAKED GUY • O'Byrnes Irish Pub, 10616 82 Ave. NW • 587.986.3618 • angela@letsartyparty.com • Start with three poses to warm up, then move to a longer pose on 16" x 20" canvas. All will go home with a painting • Every 2nd Tue starting Nov 22, 7-8:30pm • $35 (adv at Eventbrite), $45 (door)

RODA DE CAPOEIRA • Capoeira Academy,

FLAMENCO DANCE CLASSES (BEGINNER OR ADVANCED) • Dance Code Studio, 10575 115 St. NW #204 • 780.349.4843 • judithgarcia07@gmail.com • Every Sun, 11:30am12:30pm

FOOD ADDICTS • Alano Club (& Simply Done Cafe), 10728 124 St. • 780.718.7133 (or 403.506.4695 after 7pm) • Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), free 12-Step recovery program for anyone suffering from food obsession, overeating, under-eating, and bulimia • Meetings every Thu, 7pm FORT SASKATCHEWAN 45+ SINGLES COFFEE GROUP • A&W, 10101 88 Ave., Fort Saskatchewan • 780.907.0201 (Brenda) • A mixed group offering conversation and friendship • Every Sun, 2pm

FRIDAY NIGHT STOMP! • Sugar Foot Ballroom, 10019 80 Ave. NW • 587.786.6554 • dance@ sugarswing.com • sugarswing.com • Swing dance social • Every Fri-Sat, 8pm (beginner lesson begins) • $10, $2 (lesson with entry) • All ages

#103, 10324 82 Ave. • capoeiraacademy.ca • Brazil's traditional game of agility and trickery • Every Sat, 2:30pm • Free • All ages

SACRED CIRCLE DANCE • Riverdale Hall, 9231 100 Ave. • Dances are taught to a variety of songs and music. No partner required • Every Wed, 7-9pm • $10

SCRAMBLED YEG • Brittany's Lounge, 10225 97 St. • 780.497.0011 • Open Genre Variety Stage: artists from all mediums are encouraged to occupy the stage and share their creations • Every Tue-Fri, 5-8pm SEEING IS ABOVE ALL • Acacia Hall, 10433 83 Ave. NW • 780.554.6133 • Instruction into the meditation on the Inner Light. Learn a simple technique that will lift you above life's stresses • Every Sun, 5pm • Free

SEVENTIES FOREVER MUSIC SOCIETY • Call 587.520.3833 for location • deepsoul.ca •

To Book Your Classifieds, Call 780.426.1996 or email classifieds@vueweekly.com Volunteers Wanted

Join the Team Two spots open for Open Mic hosts at the Carrot Saturday Nights 6:30-9:30 The Carrot Community Arts Coffee House If you’re passionate about the arts and can make our stage welcoming contact volunteer@thecarrot.ca The Carrot’s Ultimate Garage Sale Reminder Have you started thinking about a good spring clean?

The Carrot’s Ultimate Garage sale is coming up soon! For more info on our annual spring fundraiser contact artsadmin@artsontheave.org We Love Sound Techs Saturday Nights 6:30-9:30 The Carrot Community Arts Coffee House Are you technologically skilled or would you like to be trained?

Contact volunteer@thecarrot.ca to join our volunteer team

2005.

Artist to Artist

Chalk Artists Wanted!

Chalk It Up on the Ave happens every year! We are looking for Edmonton chalk artists to submit their work and play on Alberta Avenue! If you’re interested in participating as an artist contact artsadmin@artsontheave.org

2005.

Artist to Artist

Heart of the City is looking

for artists of all modalities to share their work with the community at Heart of the City Music and Arts Festival. If you are a vendor, a visual artist, have a workshop to offer or any other way you would like to share your art with the community, we would like to invite you to be a part of our festival, June 3 and 4.

Email heartcityart@gmail.com or visit our website: heartcityfest.com

Combining music, garage sales, nature, common sense, and kindred karma to revitalize the inward persona • Every Wed, 7-8:30pm

TABLE TOP GAMES NIGHT • Carrot Community Arts Coffee House, 9351 118 Ave. NW • An evening of lattes, laughs and board games. Bring your favourite board games to share or choose one from the Carrot's collection • Mar. 28, 7:30-9pm • No cover • All ages TAKE OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) • Grace United Church annex, 6215 104 Ave. • 780.479-8667 (Bob) • bobmurra@telus.net • Low-cost, fun and friendly weight loss group • Every Mon, 6:30pm TOASTMASTERS • Chamber Toastmasters Club: 6th Fl. World Trade Centre, 9990 Jasper Ave.; 780.462.1878/ RonChapman@shaw.ca (Ron Chapman); 780.424.6364/dkorpany@telusplanet.net (Darryl Korpany); Meet every Thu from Sept-June, 6-7:45pm • Club Bilingue Toastmasters Meetings: Campus St. Jean: Pavillion McMahon; 780.667.6105 (Willard); clubbilingue.toastmastersclubs.org; Meet every Tue, 7pm • Conquer Your Fear of Public Speaking: Norwood Legion, 11150 82 St.; 780.902.4605; norwoodtoastmasters.org; Every Thu, Oct .13-June 29, 7:30-9:30pm; Guests are free • Fabulous Facilitators Toastmasters Club: 2nd Fl., Canada Place Rm. 217, 9700 Jasper Ave.; Carisa: divdgov2014_15@outlook.com, 780.439.3852; fabulousfacilitators.toastmastersclubs.org; Meet every Tue, 12:05-1pm • N'Orators Toastmasters Club: Lower Level, McClure United Church, 13708 74 St.: meet every Thu, 6:45-8:30pm; contact vpm@norators.com, 780.807.4696, norators.com • Terrified of Public Speaking: Norwood Legion Edmonton, 11150 82 St. NW; Every Thu until June, 7:30-9:30pm; Free; contact jnwafula@yahoo.com; norwoodtoastmasters.org

WASKAHEGAN TRAIL ASSOCIATION GUIDE HIKE: TERWILLEGAR PARK FOOTBRIDGE & WEST END TRAIL • McDonald's Riverbend, 494 Riverbend Sq. • 780.642.6372 • waskahegantrail. ca • A new hike for the winter of 2017 that connects Terwillegar Park to Fort Edmonton • Mar. 25, 9:45am-3pm

WILD ROSE ANTIQUE COLLECTORS SOCIETY • Delwood Community Hall, 7515 Delwood Rd. • wildroseantiquecollectors.ca • Collecting and researching items from various periods in the history of Edmonton. Presentations after club business. Visitors welcome • Meets the 4th Mon of every month (except Jul & Dec), 7:30pm

WOMEN'S CRICKET • Edmonton Indoor Cricket and Baseball Ltd, 7031 56 Ave. • incogswomens@ gmail.com • Learn the game of cricket. The group plays for fun and no experience is necessary • Every Fri, 8-10pm • $5 LECTURES/PRESENTATIONS ACTIONS & WORDS: THREE YEARS SINCE THE TRC • Edmonton City Hall, 1 Sir Winston Churchill Sq. • 780.497.3408 • kwisselink@athabascau.ca • risebookclub.ca/meetings-upcoming • Includes a panel discussion featuring the author of My Decade at Old Sun, My Lifetime of Hell • Mar. 30, 6-8pm • Free

GREAT EXPEDITIONS TRAVEL SLIDE • St. Luke’s Anglican Church, 84240 95 Ave. • 780.469.3270 (Gerry Staring), 780.435.6406 (John Woollard), 780.454.6216 (Sylvia Krogh) • Denmark, Sweden & Norway by Elvira Leibovitz (Apr 4) • First Mon of the month, 7:30pm • $3 donation (guests are asked to bring snacks to share); everyone welcome

QUEER AFFIRM GROUP • McDougall United Church, 10086 MacDonald Dr. • garysdeskcom@hotmail. com • mcdougallunited.com • Part of the United Church network supporting LGBTQ men and women • Meet monthly at Second Cup, Edmonton City Centre for coffee and conversation at 12:30pm; Special speaker events are held throughout the year over lunch

EVOLUTION WONDERLOUNGE • 10220 103 ENJOY ART ALWAYZ www.bdcdrawz.com Check the site every two weeks for new work!

3100. Appliances/Furniture Old Appliance Removal Removal of unwanted appliances. Must be outside or in your garage.

Rates start as low as $30.

Call James @780.231.7511 for details

St.• 780.424.0077 • yourgaybar.com • Mon: Drag Race in the White Room; 7pm • Wed: Monthly games night/trivia • Thu: Happy hour, 6-8pm; Karaoke, 7-12:30am • Fri: Flashback Friday with your favourite hits of the '80s/'90s/2000s; rotating drag and burlesque events • Sat: Rotating DJs Velix and Suco • Sun: Weekly drag show, 10:30pm

G.L.B.T.Q SENIORS GROUP • S.A.G.E Bldg, main floor cafe, or in confidence one-on-one in the

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

craft room • 780.474.8240 • tuff69@telus.net • Meeting for gay seniors, and for any seniors who have gay family members and would like some guidance • Every Thu, 1-4pm

PRIDE CENTRE OF EDMONTON • Pride Centre of Edmonton, 10608 105 Ave. • 780.488.3234 • Drop in hours: Mon, Wed 4-7pm; Fri 6-9pm; Closed Sat-Sun and Holidays • JamOUT: Music mentorship and instruction for youth aged 12-24; every other Tue, 7-9pm • Equal Fierce Fit & Fabulous: recreational fitness program, ages 12-24; every other Tue, 6-8pm, every other Tue • Queer Lens: weekly education and discussion group open to everyone; every Wed, 7-8:30pm • Mindfulness Meditation: open to everyone; every Thu, 6-6:50pm • Art & Identity: exploring identity through the arts, a wellness initiative; every other Fri, 6-9pm • Movies & Games Night: every other Fri, 6-9pm • Thought OUT: Altview’s all-ages discussion group; every Sat, 7-9pm • Men Talking with Pride: social discussion group for gay and bisexual men; Every Sun, 7-9pm TEAM EDMONTON • Various sports and recreation activities • teamedmonton.ca • Bootcamp: Garneau School, 10925 87 Ave.; Most Mon, 7-8pm • Swimming: NAIT Swimming Pool, 11665 109 St.; Every Tue, 7:30-8:30pm and every Thu, 7-8pm • Water Polo: NAIT Swimming Pool, 11665 109 St.; Every Tue, 8:30-9:30pm • Yoga: New Lion's Breath Yoga Studio, #301,10534 124 St.; Every Wed, 7:30-9pm • Taekwondo: near the Royal Gardens Community Centre, 4030 117 St.; Contact for specific times • Abs: Parkallen Community League Hall, 6510 111 St.; Every Tue, 6-7pm and Thu, 7:15-8:15pm • Dodgeball: Royal Alexandra Hospital Gymnasium; Every Sun, 5-7pm • Running: meet at Kinsmen main entrance; Every Sun, 10am • Spin: Blitz Conditioning, 10575 115 St.; Every Tue, 7-8pm• Volleyball: Stratford Elementary School, 8715 153 St.; Every Fri, 7-9 • Board Games: Underground Tap & Grill, 10004 Jasper Ave.; One Sun per month, 3-7pm • All Bodies Swim: Bonnie Doon Leisure Centre, 8468 81 St.; One Sat per month 4:30-5:30pm YOGA WITH JENNIFER • 780.439.6950 • ThreeBattles.com • A traditional approach with lots of individual attention. Free introductory classes • Tue evenings & Sat mornings SPECIAL EVENTS EDMONTON CANNABIS & HEMP EXPO • Edmonton Expo Centre, 7515 118 Ave. NW • che@ canwestproductions.com • cannabishempexpo. com/edmonton • Featuring education to patients, growers, industry professionals, investors and more. In addition, there will be retail exhibitions and a seminar theatre • Apr. 1-2 • $15 (door)

EDMONTON HOME + GARDEN SHOW • Edmonton Expo Centre, 7515 118 Ave. NW • edmontonhomeandgarden.com • It's spring which means it's time to freshen the house up and get gardens planned for the year. Featuring exhibitors, panels, cooking demos, and so much more • Mar. 23-26 • $7-$16 (kids 12 and under are free) EDMONTON INTERNATIONAL BEERFEST • Shaw Conference Centre, 9797 Jasper Ave. • internationalbeerfest.com • This event will feature more than 200 beers available for taste testing, entertainment and more • Mar. 24-25 • $6-$120 • No minors

EDMONTON TATTOO & ARTS FESTIVAL • Edmonton Expo Centre, 7515 118 Ave. NW • tattoo@canwestproductions.com • edmontontattooshow.com • More than 250 local and international artists will be showcasing their talent.

Including retail exhibits and entertainment acts • Mar. 31-Apr. 2 • $25 (door), $50 (weekend), free (kids 14 and under)

MAKE IT • Northlands Expo Centre, 7515 118 Ave. • makeitshow.ca • Featuring more than 175 exhibitors selling handmade goodies • Mar. 24-26 • $5 (door), free (kids 12 and under)

SELF_REFINERY • Art Gallery of Alberta, 2 Sir Winston Churchill Sq. • youraga.ca/refinery • Blending themes from current exhibitions of portraiture and photography with social media and pop culture • Mar. 25, 9pm • $22-$45 WESTERN CANADA FASHION WEEK 2017 • ATB Financial Arts Barns, 10330 84 Ave. • westerncanadafashionweek.com • This year's theme: Ageless Style. Featuring 50 local, national and international designers with runway shows, designer competitions, collection showcases and more • Mar 23-31

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

MATT JONES JONESINCROSSWORDS@VUEWEEKLY.COM

“Ego Trips”-- state your name.

Across

1 2009 film set in 2154 7 Backs of boats 11 A.D.A. member’s degree

14 “Everybody Loves Raymond” star 15 Grade 16 Down Under hopper

17 “Mean ___” (recurring Jimmy Kimmel segment) 18 Frozen kids?

20 ID for a taxpayer 21 Aptly named card game 23 Witty criticism 24 “Entourage” actress Mazar 25 Like some weekend “sales events” 27 Leader of a Russian Doors tribute band?

32 “Look!” to Dora the Explorer 33 It’s a question of time 34 Plucks unwanted plants 38 Took those plums from the icebox (that you were probably saving for breakfast) 39 Lindsay of “Mean Girls” 41 Bank acct. transaction 42 Go down without power 45 Actor Spall of “Life of Pi” 46 One’s in a lifetime?

47 Mineral-fortified red wine?

50 Head shop patron, presumably 53 Fargo’s st.

54 Cyrano’s protrusion 55 Like Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve specials 58 “Foucault’s Pendulum” author 61 CEO painter?

63 Often-spiked drink 65 Frozen food bag bit 66 Met highlight 67 Christian who plays the titular “Mr. Robot” 68 Blow it

69 Atmospheric 1990s CD-ROM puzzle game 70 “Chappelle’s Show” character who’s always scratching

Down

1 Cultural interests 2 They’re often exchanged for rituals 3 “Absolutely!”

4 ___ Bo (workout system that turns 25 in 2017) 5 Spain’s has no official lyrics 6 Big game on January 1 7 “The Kite Runner” protagonist 8 The 100% truth (accept no imitations!)

9 Clandestine meetings 10 If it’s blue, it doesn’t mean you’re pregnant 11 Priest of Stonehenge days 12 Disco diva Summer 13 How some people like their cereal 19 O3 22 Loud sound effect for rappers and morning radio shows 24 “It’s in my ___” 26 “Where do I even begin ...”

27 Computer since 1998 28 Corleone patriarch in “The Godfather” 29 8, for a two-by-four?

30 It’s supposed to be a sobering experience 31 Low 35 Hagman’s “I Dream of Jeannie”

FREEWILLASTROLOGY ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Of course you want to get the best of everything. But that doesn't mean you should disdain cheap thrills that are more interesting and gratifying than the expensive kind. And of course you enjoy taking risks. But there's a big difference between gambling that's spurred by superstitious hunches and gambling rooted in smart research. And of course you're galvanized by competition. But why fritter away your competitive fire on efforts to impress people? A better use of that fire is to use it to hone your talents and integrity.

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): If you own an untamable animal like a bull, the best way to manage it is to provide a fenced but spacious meadow where it can roam freely. So said famous Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, using a metaphor to address how we might deal with the unruly beasts in our own psyches. This is excellent advice for you right now, Taurus. I'd hate to see you try to quash or punish your inner wild thing. You need its boisterous power! It will be a fine ally if you can both keep it happy and make it work for you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If I were to provide a strict interpretation of the astrological omens, I'd advise you to PARTY HARDY, ROWDY, STRONG AND OFTEN! I'd suggest that you attend a raging bash or convivial festivity once every day.

And if that were logistically impossible, I'd advise you to stage your own daily celebrations, hopefully stocked with the most vivacious and stimulating people you can find. But I recognize that this counsel may be too extreme for you to honor.

costar 36 Beyond reinflation 37 Full of life 40 Most likely to squee over a Pi Day pie 43 Bone-to-muscle connection 44 Cool with Green Day 46 Sound of a belly laugh 48 Planetarium model 49 Clumsily tall 50 Long-billed marsh bird 51 Cartridge stuff 52 His first line was “Don’t bang on my can!”

56 Milo’s canine pal 57 Socialize in cyberspace 58 Prefix with parasite 59 Either “Barton Fink” director 60 Grimm guy 62 Sweet potato lookalike 64 Long-jawed freshwater fish ©2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords

ROB BREZSNY FREEWILL@VUEWEEKLY.COM

So I will simply invite you to PARTY HARDY, ROWDY AND STRONG at least twice a week for the next four weeks. It's the medicine you need.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You are on the verge of achieving a sly victory over the part of you that is unduly meek and passive. I believe that in the coming weeks you will rise up like a resourceful hero and at least half-conquer a chronic fear. A rumbling streak of warrior luck will flow through you, enabling you to kill off any temptation you might have to take the easy way out. Congratulations in advance, my fellow Cancerian! I have rarely seen our tribe have so much power to triumph over our unconscious attraction to the victim role.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo journal entry, Thursday: Am too settled and stale and entrenched. Feeling urges to get cheeky and tousled.

Friday: So what if I slept a little longer and arrived late? Who cares if the dishes are piling up in the sink? I hereby refuse law and order. Saturday: I'm fantasizing about doing dirty deeds. I'm thinking about breaking the taboos. Sunday: Found the strangest freshness in a place I didn't expect to. Sometimes chaos is kind of cute and friendly.

Monday: The nagging voice of the taskmaster in my head is gone.

Ding-dong. Let freedom ring!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): William Boyd writes novels, which require him to do copious research about the real-world milieus he wants his fictional characters to inhabit. For example, to ensure the authenticity of his book Waiting for Sunrise, he

found out what it was like to live in Vienna in 1913. He compares his process of searching for juicy facts to the feeding habits of a blue whale: engorging huge amounts of seawater to strain out the plankton that are good to eat. Ninety percent of the information he wades through is irrelevant, but the rest is tasty and nourishing. I suspect you'll thrive on a similar approach in the coming weeks, Virgo. Be patient as you search for what's useful.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here's a new word for you: enantiodromia. It's what happens when something turns into its opposite. It's nature's attempt to create equilibrium where there has been imbalance. Too much NO becomes YES, for example. A superabundance of yin mutates into yang, or an overemphasis on control generates chaos. Flip-flops like these tend to be messy if we resist them, but interesting if we cooperate. I figure that's your choice right now. Which will it be? The latter, I hope. P.S.: The reversals that you consciously cocreate may not be perfect. But even if they are baffling, I bet they will also be amusing and magnificent.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When I was 24, I lived in rural North Carolina and had a job washing dishes in a city four miles away. I was too poor to own a bicycle, let alone a car. To get to work I had to trudge down backroads where hostile dogs and drunk men in pick-up trucks roamed freely.

Luckily, I discovered the art of psychic protection. At first I simply envisioned a golden force field surrounding me. Later I added visualizations of guardian animals to accompany me: two friendly lions and two shel-

tering wolves. Maybe it was just the placebo effect, but the experiment worked. My allies made me brave and kept me safe. You're welcome to borrow them, Scorpio, or conjure up your own version of spirit protectors. You're not in physical danger, but I suspect you need an extra layer of protection against other people's bad moods, manipulative ploys, and unconscious agendas.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I'm not suggesting you should listen to your heart with rapt attention every waking minute for the next four weeks. I don't expect you to neglect the insights your mind has to offer.

But I would love to see you boost your attunement to the intelligent organ at the center of your chest.

You're going to need its specific type of guidance more than ever in the coming months. And at this particular moment, it is beginning to overflow with wisdom that's so rich and raw that it could unleash a series of spiritual orgasms.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The empty space at the end of this sentence has intentionally been left blank.

The serene hiatus you just glided through comes to you courtesy of Healing Silence, an ancient form of do-it-yourself therapy. Healing Silence is based on the underappreciated truth that now and then it's restorative to just SHUT UP and abstain from activity for a while. (As you know, the world is crammed with so much noise and frenzy that it can be hard to hear yourself think—or even feel.) With Healing Silence, you bask in a sanctuary of sweet nothingness for as long as

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

you need to. Please try it sometime soon. Wrap yourself in the luxurious void of Healing Silence.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I hope you won't feel the need to say any of these things: 1. "I'm sorry I gave you everything I had without making sure you wanted it." 2. "Will you please just stop asking me to be so real." 3. "I long for the part of you that you'll never give me." Now here are things I hope you will say sometime soon: 1. "I thrived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me." (This declaration is lifted from novelist Joshua Graham.) 2. "I'm having fun, even though it's not the same kind of fun everyone else is having." (Borrowed from author C.S. Lewis.) 3. "I'm not searching for who I am. I'm searching for the person I aspire to be." (Stolen from author Robert Brault.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Are you fantasizing more about what you don't have and can't do than what you do have and can do? If so, please raise the "do have" and "can do" up to at least 51 percent. (Eighty percent would be better.) Have you been harshly critiquing yourself more than you have been gently taking care of yourself? If so, get your self-care level up to at least 51 percent. (Eighty-five percent is better.) Are you flirting with a backward type of courage that makes you nervous about what everyone thinks of you and expects from you? If so, I invite you to cultivate a different kind of courage at least 51 percent of the time: courage to do what's right for you no matter what anyone thinks or expects. (Ninety percent is better.) V AT THE BACK 19

ADULTCLASSIFIEDS

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20 AT THE BACK

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

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ALBERTA-WIDE CLASSIFIEDS •• ANNOUNCEMENTS •• REACH OVER 1 Million Readers Weekly. Advertise Province Wide Classifieds. Only $269 + GST (based on 25 words or less). Call now for details 1-800-282-6903 ext. 228; www. awna.com.

•• AUCTIONS •• COMMERCIAL BUTCHER & Food Equipment Auction.

Saturday, April 1, 2017, 10 a.m., MAS Sales Centre, Blackfalds, Alberta. Selling hot dog cart, freezers, coolers, showcases, ranges, ovens, deep fryers, butcher equipment, mixers, SS sinks, tables, shelving, janitorial & smallwares. Online bidding; www.montgomeryauctions.com or 1-800-371-6963.

•• COMING EVENTS •• ANTIQUE SHOW - Edmonton - Western Canada’s longest running collectors show - antiques, collectibles, and pop culture.

42nd Annual Wild Rose Antique Collectors Show & Sale. Sellers from across Canada. Special collectors displays. Antique evaluations by Canadian Antiques Roadshow appraiser Gale Pirie - $15 per item. Saturday, Apr. 1, 9 - 5 p.m.; Sunday, Apr. 2, 10 - 4 p.m. Edmonton Expo Centre. 780-437-9722; www. wildroseantiquecollectors.ca

•• EMPLOYMENT •• OPPORTUNITIES INTERIOR HEAVY EQUIPMENT SCHOOL. Hands-On Tasks. Start Weekly. GPS Training! Funding & Housing Available! Job Aid! Already a HEO? Get certification proof.

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LABOURERS REQUIRED for mobile gravel crusher. Experience an asset. Email resume to: fitzcons@telus.net or fax 780-842-5556. Wainwright, Alberta.

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•• EQUIPMENT •• FOR SALE A-STEEL SHIPPING CONTAINERS. 20’, 40’ & 53’. 40’ insulated reefers/freezers. Modifications in offices, windows, doors, walls, as office, living work-shop, etc., 40’ flatrack/bridge. 1-866-5287108; www.rtccontainer.com.

•• FOR SALE •• METAL ROOFING & SIDING. 37+ colours available at over 55 Distributors. 40 year warranty. 48 hour Express Service available at select supporting Distributors. Call 1-888-2638254.

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STEEL BUILDING SALE. “Priced to sell!” 20X21 $5,997.

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30X33 $7,339. No ends included. 35X37 $11,782. One end wall included. Check out www. pioneersteel.ca for more prices.

Pioneer Steel 1-855-212-7036.

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•• MANUFACTURED •• HOMES ULTRA AFFORDABLE, modern homes for Alberta starting at $90,000 delivered. Don’t overpay! 2017’s available now; www.bestbuyhousing.com. Call/ text 403-917-1005. Red Deer, Airdrie, Edmonton. Canada’s largest home selection!

•• REAL ESTATE •• ARMSTRONG HOTEL &

SALOON - Armstrong, BC. Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers Unreserved Auction, April 26 in Edmonton. 16 guest rooms, saloon & restaurant. Profitable going concern business. Jerry Hodge: 780-706-6652; Realtor: Tom Moran (PREC) - Re/Max Dawson Creek Realty; rbauction.com/realestate.

24 FULLY SERVICED LAKE PROPERTIES - Buffalo Lake, Alberta. Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers Unreserved Auction, June 14 in Edmonton. Lots range from 0.2 +/- to 0.32 +/- acres.

Jerry Hodge: 780-706-6652; Broker: All West Realty Ltd.; rbauction.com/realestate.

3 PARCELS OF FARMLAND - Thorhild, Alberta. Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers Unreserved Auction, April 26 in Edmonton.

466.99 +/- title acres. 421 +/cultivated acres. Jerry Hodge: 780-706-6652; Broker: All West Realty Ltd.; rbauction.com/ realestate.

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1 PARCEL OF PASTURE Breton, Alberta. Ritchie Bros.

Auctioneers Unreserved Auction, April 26 in Edmonton.

161 +/- title acres. Suitable for recreation, ranching or building.

Jerry Hodge: 780-706-6652.

Brokerage: All West Realty Ltd.; rbauction.com/realestate.

LOG HOME & EQUESTRIAN FACILITY - Lacombe, Alberta.

Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers Unreserved Auction, April 26, 2017 in Edmonton. 4879+/- sq. ft. log home with 65,850 +/- sq. ft. equestrian facility. 158+/- title acres - $6260+/- surface lease revenue. Jerry Hodge: 780-7066652. Broker: All West Realty Ltd.; rbauction.com/realestate.

PRIVATELY OWNED pasture, hayland and grainland available in small and large blocks.

Please contact Doug at 306716-2671 for further details.

SIX QUARTERS of land for sale, near St. Paul, Alberta.

Contact Ron Smith 780-6450105, Associate Broker, Elk Point Realty.

1 PARCEL OF FARMLAND - Sangudo, Alberta. Ritchie Bros. Auctioneers Unreserved Auction, April 26 in Edmonton.

160.96 +/- title acres. 135 +/cultivated acres. Jerry Hodge: 780-706-6652. Brokerage: All West Realty Ltd.; rbauction. com/realestate.

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VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

AT THE BACK 21

DAN SAVAGE SAVAGELOVE@VUEWEEKLY.COM

GREAT 13 OUTDOORS

APR

Don’t waste the sunlight, folks.

Get outside and find your next great adventure.

We offer suggestions and ruminations on the life lived outside.

N O O GS

N I M O C

f o s e u w iss

e n y c n fa

420 POT 20 ISSUE

APR

With legalization around the corner, we explore the many sides of Mary Jane.

I recently spoke at Curious Minds Weekend in Toronto at the Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema. Audience members submitted questions on cards before the show—anonymously—but the moderator, Lisan Jutras of the Globe and Mail, and I were having so much fun talking with each other that we didn’t get to many cards. So I’m going to quickly answer as many of the questions from the audience at Curious Minds as I can this week.

THREE'S COMPANY

Question: My husband and I have been seeking a third for a threesome. After a very palpable night of flirtation, I asked a mutual friend (as we shared a cab) if he would be down for a threesome. He said yes, but I was not about to spring him on my husband that night. So I texted him later about it, and he has ignored me. What should I take from this?

Answer: The hint.

ONE-WAY STREET

Q: A friend’s boyfriend won’t go down on her no matter how much she asks. She still won’t break up with him, even though she told me that oral is the only way she has ever had an orgasm. How do I get her to realize her sexual pleasure is a priority?

A: If your friend’s boyfriend doesn’t know oral is the only way she can orgasm, she should tell him. If she told him and he doesn’t care, she should dump him. If she told him and he doesn’t care and she won’t dump him, you’re not obligated to listen to her complain about the orgasms she’s not having.

ALWAYS ON

Q: I’m a bisexual 42-year-old female with an extremely high sex drive who squirts with every orgasm.

How do I deal with friends—even people at a sex club—who think you’re a freak because “women aren’t supposed to be horny all the time.”

A: If your friends—presumably people you aren’t fucking—complain that you’re horny all the time, maybe it’s because you don’t talk about anything other than the sex you just had or the sex you hope to have soon. If people at sex clubs (!) are complaining about how horny you are … either you’ve accidentally wandered into a yacht club or even people at a sex club wanna talk about something other than sex every once in a while.

VIBRATO

Q: My very Christian friend is about to get married. Though she is socially very liberal, she is pretty sexually repressed. I want to do something to encourage her to explore her sexuality a bit before she takes

22 AT THE BACK

a try at partnered sex. How weird would it be to buy her a vibrator as a shower present?

fucking around and legalize weed already, like he promised.

A: Don’t give your friend a vibrator at her shower—gifts are opened in front of guests at showers—but go ahead and send her one. Tell her it’s a pre-bachelorette-party gift.

Q: When are you going to move to Canada already?

ON THE GRIND

Q: I am 31. My husband (newly married) is 46, almost 47. He takes FOREVER to come, no matter what I do. How do we speed up this process? My jaw, fingers, etc., are all very sore.

A: Your husband speeds up the process by incorporating self-stimulation breaks into the blowjobs, handjobs, etcetera-jobs you’re giving him. He strokes himself while you take a quick breather and/or an Advil, he gets himself closer, you get back to work.

ON THE GRIND PT. 2

Q: I’m 47 and my wife is 31. I take a lot longer to come and recover than she would like. Could you please explain to her that it’s normal for a man my age to “slow down” and it’s not her?

A: Happy birthday. And, yes, it’s normal for a man to slow down as he ages—it’s not her—and there are younger men who take a long time to come. But such men need to take their partners’ physical limitations into consideration. To avoid wearing out their partners’ jaws, fingers, etc., they need to take matters into their own hands. They should enjoy that blowjob, handjob, twatjob, or assjob, take breaks to stroke their own dicks, eventually bring themselves to the point of orgasmic inevitability, and end by plunging back into that mouth, fist, twat, or ass to blow their load.

LONGTIME READER

Q: I have been reading your column since the early 1990s. Since that time, what has struck you in the kind of problems people write you about?

A: People don’t ask me about butt plugs anymore. I used to get a letter once or twice a week from someone who needed to have butt plugs explained to them. But butt plugs have their own Wiki page now, so no one needs me to explain them anymore. But for old times’ sake: They look like lava lamps, they go in your butt, they feel awesome, and they typically don’t induce gay panic in butt-play-curious straight boys.

LEGALIZE IT

Q: Would you share your thoughts on our prime minister, Justin Trudeau?

A: I think Justin needs to stop

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 – MAR 29, 2017

MOVE UP NORTH

A: See above.

OPTIONAL

Q: Polyamory after marriage—is it okay?

A: For some.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY

Q: I’m a submissive gay boy. I saw you walk into the theater tonight wearing combat boots. Is there any way I could lick your boots clean after the show?

A: Sadly, I didn’t see your question until after I got back to my hotel.

BE GENTLE

Q: Straight male here. My best male friend of 20 years transitioned to female. I’ve been super supportive since day one, but her transitioning is all she ever talks about, and it’s getting tiresome. I miss our discussions of bicycle repair and Swedish pop music. How can I tell her to give it a rest while remaining supportive?

A: If she began transitioning last week, then of course it’s all she can talk about. If she transitioned five years ago and it’s still all she ever talks about, then you’ll need to (gently) be the change you want to see in the conversation. Listen supportively when she discusses trans issues and seize opportunities (when they arise) to change the subject (“So how do you think Sweden will do in Eurovision this year?”).

IN THE STARS

Q: Why are so many lesbians into astrology?

A: All the lesbians I know are strict empiricists. So the more pertinent question would be this: Whose sample is skewed—mine or yours?

IT'S ALL GOOD

Q: My male partner never masturbates and we have sex only once a week. We’ve been together four years. I’m a woman. I would like to have sex just a little more, but he isn’t into it. Is there something weird about me masturbating a bunch during the week and just having weekend sex?

A: Nope.

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with Brian Whitney, coauthor of a book about the “Cannibal Cop”: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

TRENT WILKIE CURTIS HAUSER

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; MAR 29, 2017

AT THE BACK 23

24 STAY CLASSY, EVERYONE.

VUEWEEKLY.com | MAR 23 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; MAR 29, 2017