vue weekly 806 mar 31 2011

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VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011


COVER

INSIDE

IssuE no. 806 // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

UP FRONT // 4/ 4 5 5 8 8

Vuepoint Dyer Straight News Roundup In the Box Bob the Angry Flower

HAUNTED HOUSE

Insidious resurrects the ghost story

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DISH // 9/ 10 To the Pint

ARTS // 12 14 Hopscotch

FILM // 16 19 He Watch Channel Zero

MUSIC // 21/ 24 Music Notes 26 New Sounds 27 Loonie Bin 27 Old Sounds 27 Quickspins

BACK // 30 30 Queermonton 30 Back Words 30 Free Will Astrology

LISTINGS 15 Arts 20 Film 28 Music 31 Events

10303 - 108 street, edmonton, AB T5J 1L7 t: 780.426.1996 F: 780.426.2889 E: office@vueweekly.com w: vueweekly.com

IssuE no. 806 // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011 // Available at over 1400 locations Editor / Publisher.......................................... RON GARTH // ron@vueweekly.com MANAGING Editor............................................. EDEN MUNRO // eden@vueweekly.com associate mANAGING editor................... BRYAN BIRTLES // bryan@vueweekly.com NEWS Editor........................................................ SAMANTHA POWER // samantha@vueweekly.com Arts / Film Editor........................................... PAUL BLINOV // paul@vueweekly.com Music Editor....................................................... EDEN MUNRO // eden@vueweekly.com Dish Editor........................................................... BRYAN BIRTLES // bryan@vueweekly.com creative services manager.................... MICHAEL SIEK // mike@vueweekly.com production.......................................................... CHELSEA BOOS // che@vueweekly.com ART DIRECTOR....................................................... PETE NGUYEN // pete@vueweekly.com Senior graphic designer........................... LYLE BELL // lyle@vueweekly.com PRODUCTION INTERN........................................ Elizabeth Schowalter // scho@vueweekly.com WEB/MULTIMEDIA MANAGER........................ ROB BUTZ // butz@vueweekly.com LISTINGS ................................................................ GLENYS SWITZER // glenys@vueweekly.com

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COVER ILLUSTRATION PETE NGUYEN // pete@vueweekly.com CONTRIBUTORS Ricardo Acuña, Chelsea Boos, Josef Braun, Rob Brezsny, Alexa DeGagne, Gwynne Dyer, Jason Foster, Brian Gibson, James Grasdal, Joe Gurba, Whitey Houston, Maria Kotovych, Stephen Notley, Roland Pemberton, Mel Priestley, Madeline Smith, Dave Young Distribution Todd Broughton, Alan Ching, Barrett DeLaBarre, Mike Garth, Aaron Getz, Raul Gurdian, Justin Shaw, Dale Steinke, Wally Yanish

Vue Weekly is available free of charge at well over 1400 locations throughout Edmonton. We are funded solely through the support of our advertisers. Vue Weekly is a division of Postvue Publishing LP (Robert W. Doull, President) and is published every Thursday. Vue Weekly is available free of charge throughout Greater Edmonton and Northern Alberta, limited to one copy per reader. Vue Weekly may be distributed only by Vue Weekly's authorized independent contractors and employees. No person may, without prior written permission of Vue Weekly, take more than one copy of each Vue Weekly issue. Canada Post Publications Mail Agreement No. 40022989. If undeliverable, return to: Vue Weekly 10303 - 108 Street Edm, AB T5J 1L7

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

UP FRONT // 3


UP FRONT

VuEpoInT

Gift horse SAMANTHA POWER

// SAMANTHA@VUEWEEKly.COM

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tephen Harper doesn't like the orange spot on his blue province. That's why Conservative candidate Ryan Hastman has been nominated for two years in Edmonton-Strathcona: the Conservatives want that riding back, and this election is the opportunity the party has been looking for. That sums up Harper's approach to this unexpected campaign. Though he may feign disinterest or inconvenience at having to go back to the electorate, he's not going to turn down the opportunity to turn his minority into a majority. But many Canadians seem to be picking up on the inconvenience vibe and leaving the rest behind by calling the election unecessary. It's untimely perhaps, inconvenient to some maybe, but overall it's an opportunity to review what it is this government has turned into and whether it is headed down the right path. Opposition parties would not have taken Canadians to the polls if it was unnecessary. They can't risk any losses and it's an unfortunate statement, but decisions in Parliament rely on partisanship. If at any point during the budget negotiations last week Jack Layton had seen an opportunity for his party to make more gains by agreeing to the budget,

yourVuE

GRASDAl'S VUE

he would have done so. If the opposition parties felt they could do more by calling attention to the problems of the Conservatives in Parliament than on the election trail, they would have not even considered the motion of contempt. Perhaps it was the slight fall in the polls the Tories suffered after a run of controversial and contemptable decisions. There was certainly a benefit to the parties to vote for a motion of contempt rather than vote down the budget. But not many saw this election coming. In some cases parties are still nominating candidates, caught unprepared. So there must have been a great confluence of events to bring opposition parties where they were willing to take the chance and bring the government down. That confluence of events happened quickly, over two or three weeks and whatever finally brought them to realize there was no other option but to go to an election, it wasn't until the last two or three days before the contempt vote that opposition parties decided to stand together and bring the government down by voting on that motion. Things moved rather fast for the federal government. This election will only last six weeks. Who knows what could come together, but no one is letting go of the opportunity. V Your Vue is the weekly roundup of all your comments and views of our coverage. Every week we'll be running your comments from the website, feedback on our weekly web polls and any letters you send our editors.

WEbPOll RESUlTS

Do you think Earth Hour does any good for the environment? 1. Yes, it's important to participate and encourage future good environmental actions. 2. It's mostly useless, but important to bring attention to good environment actions. 3. It's harmful in encouraging people to believe they're helping the environment with this small act

yes 19%

MAybE 50%

No 31%

THiS WEEK'S POll

lETTERS

Elizabeth May, leader of the Green Party, has been excluded from the televised leadership debates. Should private broadcasting networks have control over the public debates of a national electoral process?

Dear Chelsea, I am the artist who made the "Wild Roses" installation for West Edmonton Mall. ("Back Words" [Mar 24 – 30, 2011]) This art piece was commissioned by the mall and I based my sculpture on Alberta's official flower. As for innovation and depth, those qualities are never in my mind when I'm creating a piece as I can't control what others will see in my work. I just work with the space and movement between what's there, and light and texture. When I was finished installing the piece I watched people stop and observe, little children pointing "flowers!" and old ladies agape—I was happy. I agree with your comments on art and Marcel Duchamp—he is my favourite artist of all time—he was intelligent, groundbreaking and also unpretentious. Thanks again for the great comments.

1. No, there should be a method of holding public debates with all parties 2. Yes, broadcasters have the ability to control their own programming.

Pascale Girardin Check out vueweekly.com to vote and give us your comments.

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VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011


COMMENT >> INTERNATIONAL POLITICS

Truly selfless

Is Western intervention in Libya purely a good deed? They have committed themselves to major military operation merely to ima war, but they have no plans for what prove the contractual terms for a few of happens after tomorrow night. They their oil companies? swear that they will never put ground Maybe it's just about local political troops into Libya, so their strategy advantage, then. President Nicolas consists solely of hoping that air Sarkozy of France was the drivstrikes on Colonel Gaddahfi's ing force behind this intervenair defence systems (and on tion, and he faces a re-election his ground forces when they battle next year. Is he seeking m o .c ly eek can be targeted without killcredit with French voters for @vuew e n n y gw ing civilians) will persuade his this "humanitarian" intervenwynne G troops to abandon him. They tion? Implausible, since it's the Dyer right-wing don't even have an agreed comvote he must capture mand structure. to win, and saving the lives of Arab So why is this "coalition of the willing" foreigners does not rank high in the pri(which has yet to find a proper name orities of the French right. for itself) doing this? Don't say "it's all Prime Minister David Cameron in Britabout oil." That's just lazy thinking: all ain was the other prime mover in the the Western oil majors are already back Libyan intervention. Unless the coalition in Libya. They have been back ever since government he leads collapses (which the great reconciliation between their is quite unlikely), he won't even have to governments and Gaddahfi in 2003. face the electorate again until 2014. So That deal was indeed driven partly by what would be the point in seeking pooil, although also in part by Western litical popularity with a military intervenconcerns about Libya's alleged nuclear tion now? Even if that were a sure route ambitions. (Gaddahfi played his cards to popularity in Britain, which it is not. well there, because he never really had As for Barack Obama, he spent weeks a viable nuclear weapons programme.) trying to avoid an American military But do you seriously think that Western commitment in Libya, and his secretary governments have now launched this of defence, Robert Gates, was outspoken

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in denouncing the idea. Yet there they all are, intervening: France, Britain, the United States and half a dozen other Western countries. Strikingly unaccompanied by Arab military forces, or indeed by anybody else's. There is no profit in this for the West, and there is a high probability (of which the interveners are well aware) that it will all end in tears. There is the danger of "mission creep," there is the risk that the bombing will kill Libyan civilians, and there is the fact that many of the countries that voted for Security Council Resolution 1973, or at least abstained from voting against it, are already peeling away from the commitment it implied. They willed the end: to stop Gaddahfi from committing more massacres. They even supported or did not oppose the means: the use of "all necessary measures" to protect Libyan civilians, which in diplomatic-speak means force. But they cannot stomach the reality of Western aircraft bombing another third-world country, however decent the motives and however deserving the targets. So why have the Western countries embarked on this quixotic venture? Indians

feel no need to intervene, nor do Chinese or Japanese. Russians and South Africans and Brazilians can watch the killing in Libya on their televisions and deplore Gaddahfi's behaviour without wanting to do something about it. Even Egyptians, who are fellow Arabs, Libya's next-door neighbours, and the beneficiaries of a similar but successful democratic revolution just last month, haven't lifted a finger to help the Libyan revolutionaries. They don't lack the means—only a small fraction of their army could put an end to Gaddahfi's regime in days—but they lack the will. Indeed, they lack any sense of responsibility for what happens to people beyond their own borders. That's normal. What is abnormal is a domestic politics in which the failure to intervene in Rwanda to stop the genocide is still remembered and debated 15 years later. African countries don't hold that debate; only Western countries do. Western countries also feel guilty about their slow and timorous response to the slaughter in former Yugoslavia in the 1990s. Nobody else does. Cynicism is a necessary tool when dealing with international affairs, but some-

NewsRoundup management process. "Any plan emerging from these recommendations needs to protect water. Without a consistent supply of clean water, everything grinds to a halt," says Blakeman. "Public consultation on this issue is about to begin and Albertans should make sure the government knows we value our water." Environmental critics are particularly concerned about the development in the Castle region. The region has already been designated a special management area, but environmental groups would like to see the area legislated as a protected park. "While it's helpful that RAC describes the Castle as an iconic, nature-based recreation and tourism destination, it then

recommends against a park or any other such protected area to legally ensure nature's protection," says Richard Burke, one of the Castle Special Place Working Group's Lethbridge participants. "The advice that it be open for new resource development, even if it were under stricter guidelines as RAC suggests, fails to offer the protection a Wildland Park would for this natural water-tower and outdoor respite for Southern Alberta," he says. Designating the space a protected park would place it under legislation preventing the development of logging, mining and oil and gas development. Further consultation on land-use planning in the area is expected to be announced later this year.

April 11 – 15, falling during the campaign. The trade negotiations include some controversial aspects including the negotiation of public procurement limitations on municipalities and school boards. "Common sense tells us you shouldn't be allowed to make major policy decisions during an election that would bind future governments. But this is exactly what would happen if the Canada-EU free trade talks are allowed to proceed as planned," says Maude Barlow, national chairperson of the Council of Canadians.

"The deal on the table involves a number of controversial social and economic policy changes that should be made by Parliament, after a long, thought out debate." While the Council of Canadians believes the negotiations should be put on hold, Barlow would like to see national debate occur during the election. "This agreement will fundamentally reshape the Canadian economy, in many cases for the worst," says Barlow. "What better time to have a national debate on CETA than during this federal election?"

RECESS FOR TRADE TALKS While federal candidates are out securing votes, it seems to be business as usual in Ottawa, where federal bureaucrats continue to negotiate a trade deal between Canada and Europe. The Comprehensive Economic Trade Agreement [CETA] has been in negotiations for the past three years and the federal government had been hoping it would be concluded by the end of this year. Critics of the agreement believe negotiations should be on hold while the campaign is underway. Trade negotiations are meant to occur

Gwynne Dyer is a London-based journalist. His column can be found every week in Vue Weekly.

SAMANTHA POWER // samantha@vueweekly.com

WATER LIMITS The South Saskatchewan River basin has suffered droughts and overuse for almost a decade, and critics charge that new recommendations from the South Saskatchewan Regional Advisory Council [RAC] do not do enough to protect the basin from overconsumption. The Council's recommendations are part of a landuse policy framework the Alberta government is developing. Meanwhile, the council is stating that it aims to ensure planning for industry needs, management for tourism and recreation, as well as developing the needs of the human communities surrounding the basin. Liberal MLA Laurie Blakeman is concerned that not enough consideration is being given to conservation and is encouraging Albertans to get involved in the land use

times you have to admit that countries are acting from genuinely selfless and humanitarian motives. Yes, I know, Vietnam, and Iraq, and 100 years of US meddling in Latin America, and 500 years of European imperial plunder all around the world. I did say "sometimes." But I think this is one of those times. Why is it only Western countries that believe they have a duty to intervene militarily, even in places where they have no interests at stake, merely to save lives? My guess is that it's a heritage of the great wars they fought in the 20th century, and particularly of the war against Hitler, in which they told themselves (with some justification) that they were fighting pure evil—and eventually discovered that they were also fighting a terrible genocide. This does not mean that all or most of their military adventures overseas are altruistic, nor does it mean that their current venture will end well. In fact, it probably won't. No good deed goes unpunished.

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

QUOTE OF THE WEEK "We don't hear much about what's going on in Ottawa (in Edmonton), but for me to hear another person under an RCMP investigation is involved in the Conservative campaign? My response is: whatever. Togneri is part of the whole scandal that brought the government down. He's the latest in a long line. It's part of the lack of ethics in that party. They're reneging on the whole reason they said they had to bring down the Liberal government: transparency and ethics." —NDP candidate Linda Duncan March 30, 2011 Edmonton Journal

UP FRONT // 5


The politics of hope

Education advocate creates efficient political organizing

samantha power // samantha@vueweekly.com

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he idea of hope in politics is often greeted with a slight cringe by experienced political activists. David Shirley doesn't want to take anything away from those who have worked hard for often elusive change, but the educator and activist is hoping people will take some inspiration from his work. Giving a talk titled "The Inspiring Future of Public Interest Organizing" at this weekend's conference on political activism, Shirley hopes to share some of his experiences educating communities on effective methods of political change. Co-author of the book The Fourth Way, Shirley helped to define a new field of educational organizing. "Community organizing with school improvement work," explains Shirley. It's a field that is expanding into curriculum plans, even here in Alberta. Shirley was involved in a recent review of the Alberta Education program Alberta Initiative for School Change. The program looks at ways to improve the learning environment for students and parents, but also has a civic component, something many education programs are lacking. "In schools we teach about being a citizen, but it's very abstract," says Shirley. "Especially if [students] don't go on to college, there's no one there to demonstrate how citizenship works."

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That's the key in Shirley's organizing technique which is built on organizing from the grassroots of communities. Going into impoverished communities in Texas, Shirley focused on assisting community members to achieve direct results. Things like crosswalks at schools provide visible examples of change created by community members. "There's a strategy around engaging people around their passions," says Shirley, but he maintains the first step is to invite everyone out to a meeting: "'Ya'll come out' is what we say in the South. It's undifferentiated." From there leaders are discovered, people who can take on more of the workload to create change built around a community's passion. Although it's what can often lead to burn out, leadership is thought of as a reward as well. People begin to think of themselves as leaders and Shirley believes that this helps to dedicate individuals to a life of social justice. And he emphasizes that not all leaders come from the group believed to be obvious contenders: of course there are those community members who bring out four or five or eight different people to one meeting, but there is also the unlikely character. "An angry parent is an opportunity, as one principal put it," says Shirley. The opportunity is in channeling that anger into productivity.

The act of teaching someone the tools to engage with city councillors or school trustees can be empowering, and lead to further political action that may be more abstract. "I've heard people say, 'I just thought of myself as a mother, but people are calling me a leader and now I think of myself that way.'" Shirley says it can inspire them on to jobs in the social justice field, which is something he's hoping will create a continuum of political involvement rather than just something done in the years after college. "Politics should be that life long endeavour," says Shirley. "There can be social justice careers, a person can be a teacher, a social worker and then a community organizer, and seeing it as a ladder and not just something that's a flat career structure." Instead of leaving individuals on their own to figure out how to create change, there is a recognition that there needs to be active work in creating communities. "It is something that is labour intensive," says Shirley. "It's very hard work. There are days when it really does feel just like a grind and so every once in awhile we have to step back and see a lot of progressive changes." V Thu, Mar 31 – Sat, Apr 2 Mobilizing for a Better Alberta Chateau Louis Conference Centre pialberta.org


COMMENT >> ALBERTA ENVIRONMENT

A revealing scandal

Carson scandal reveals intent behind committee appointment Ricardo Acuña // racuna@ualberta.ca

Imagine that you were a entrusted by the provincial government with setting up a panel which would develop a "world class" system for monitoring the environmental and health impacts of Alberta's tar sands industry. Who would you want on that panel? Keep in mind the reason for the panel is a number of high profile reports, including one from a committee that your own government set up, have determined that environmental monitoring has been virtually non-existent and that what little data is being collected is entirely unreliable. If you were sincere about monitoring environmental impacts, your panel would almost certainly include worldrenowned academic experts in the fields of public health, hydrology and water quality, ecosystem health and environmental monitoring. You would also likely want to include some representatives of the indigenous communities that are being directly impacted by the water, air and ecosystem quality you are pretending to monitor. It might be a good idea to include a researcher from one of the environmental organi-

zations that's been looking at environmental impacts for the last 10 years, and possibly a researcher or engineer from the energy industry who understands the technicalities of the extraction processes being used. Unfortunately, this is the Alberta government and when it comes to the oil industry and the environment, sincerity and logic go out the window in favour of spin and manipulation. So when Environment Minister Rob Renner took on the task of pulling together such a panel in late January, he did include some scientists, but included no representatives from indigenous communities or environmental organizations. He did appoint a vice president of operations from the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers (CAPP) to the panel, and as co-chair he appointed Hal Kvisle, former president and CEO of TransCanada Corporation, and a board member of Talisman Energy and ARC Resources. In fact, the make-up of the committee was so contrary to its stated objectives that one of the appointed scientists actually resigned before the first meeting, citing the lack of Aboriginal voices and scientific expertise on the panel, as well as confidentiality rules designed to

keep her from consulting more broadly with experts outside of the panel. The absolute worst appointment Mr Renner could have made to the panel, however, and the one that most reveals what he hopes to get from this panel, was Bruce Carson—the person who has

visor, I mean he helped build spin on tarsands production in order to avoid growing criticism by environmentalists. He worked closely with Harper, then Environment Minister Jim Prentice, Natural Resources Canada and a variety of industry groups to help develop the government’s obstruc-

When it comes to the oil industry and the environment, sincerity and logic go out the window in favour of spin and manipulation. been in the news these past two weeks as the result of an RCMP investigation into his influence peddling in the federal government on behalf of a water treatment company partially owned by his 22 year-old fiancee. The fact that he was trying to secure deals to install her water treatment services on reserves should have been enough to keep him from being appointed to a panel ostensibly dealing with water quality on reserves, but it's actually much worse than that. Carson is a former advisor to Prime Minister Stephen Harper on issues of energy and climate change. And by ad-

tionist position at international climate change accords, and to develop the government's multi-million-dollar communications campaigns promoting tar sands developments as clean. He was also a federal Conservative campaign strategist, helping the party develop and sell its election platforms on energy and the environment, and he has worked extensively as an advisor to the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers. The main qualification listed for him on the Alberta Environment web-site is that he is executive director of the Canada School for Energy and the Environment, a federally-initiated

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

federally-funded think tank comprising researchers from the universities of Alberta, Calgary and Lethbridge— an appointment he received while he was still campaigning for the Conservatives, advising the government and working for CAPP. In defending his decision to grant Carson a leave from the panel rather than dismissing him when the RCMP investigation came to light, Rob Renner said, "he brings some excellent skills to the committee and from that perspective he was added to the list of eminently qualified people to give us advice on this committee." That statement highlighting Mr Carson's skills and expertise makes it crystal clear what Mr Renner is hoping to achieve with this panel: more spin, public relations, and denial, and less credibility, reliability and genuine environmental monitoring. Once again the government has taken what was a straightforward opportunity to act in good faith and turned it on its head to the detriment of Alberta's and the public's interest. V Ricardo Acuña is the executive director of the non-partisan public policy research organization the Parkland Institute.

UP FRONT // 7


IN THE BOX

DAVE YOUNG & BRYAN BIRTLES // INTHEBOX@vueweekly.com

The voice of the Oilers calls it a career It's one more week of playing out the string for the Oilers. Here's the latest piece of string. The Oilers lost 4-0 to St Louis. The Oilers lost 5-4 in a shootout to Calgary. The Oilers lost 2-0 to Los Angeles. Those three losses marked numbers eight, nine and 10 of a dismal winless streak.

missed, Rod. And, for the record books, the last Rod Phillips-called Oiler goal was March 8, 2010 in Philly. J-F Jacques scored. Sorry, what's that, Bryan? You're bloody kidding me. DY

"Goodnight and goodbye from Edmonton"

Every time there's a banner ceremony— and there's been a lot lately—I ask myself, "Is this really necessary?" I'm not saying that Rod doesn't deserve a banner—certainly he deserves it more than Coffey—but perhaps the Oilers need to bring it back a bit. Including Rod's, the Oilers are now hanging eight banners in the rafters. As a point of comparison, the Montréal Canadiens—who have almost five times the number of Stanley Cups, more than six times the number of players in the Hall of Fame, nearly a century more of history—have only 15, representing 17 players. I know those were some great teams, I know those guys mean a lot to us, I know they're deserving of our recognition, but perhaps there's a different way to honour players and broadcasters. I love Rod and I already miss him—I've missed him all this year—but I'm just saying. BB

With the last few games relatively meaningless, the game against LA on Tuesday was notable for being the final Rod Phillips-called game after 3542 games and five Stanley Cups. I grew up in Edmonton and in the days before cable sports networks, radio was still the prevalent source of Oiler hockey. That's right, young 'uns: television was not always an option. I heard a lot of games on the radio (while walking uphill 10 miles to school in waist-high snow). When I think of Oilers hockey, I hear Rod's voice. I always appreciated that, despite unashamedly being the team's biggest fan and booster, he was never afraid to matter-of-factly call out the team when they were not showing effort. His criticisms came across like a disappointed father. However, the angry father came out when referees missed calls that Rod saw or made phantom calls against the Oilers. He never spewed venom in those cases but dripped with bemusement. ("I can't believe that call. Horrible.") You will be

BOB THE ANGRY FLOWER

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VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

Banner happy?

Oiler Player of the Week Rod Phillips: Duh. DY

Devan Dubnyk: Did you see the rob job he pulled on Jokinen? Even Olli was left looking at the Jumbotron, jaw agape. BB


DISH

Find a restaurant

ONLINE AT DISHWEEKLY.CA

Gracious siblings No sibling rivalry at this café

bourhood that we know, we start telling them, and they said, 'Oh, no—you have to have lunch stuff!' We're like, 'Oh, we do? OK!'" Arrowsmith laughs. "Before we had even opened the door, it was already grown!" Donald adds, also laughing. Stews, vegan chili, and paninis are among the lunch offerings. In selecting their suppliers, the sisters wanted to support other locally owned businesses—their coffee comes from Transcend, while Pinocchio supplies the ice cream. Baked goods come from Fresh Start; soups from the Greenhouse. "That's close to our hearts, because it's young brothers that started the company together," Arrowsmith explains of the latter.

// Elizabeth Schowalter

Maria Kotovych // maria@vueweekly.com

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ibling rivalry? What sibling rivalry? There's no such thing for Wendy Arrowsmith and Deb Donald, the two sisters who opened Gracious Goods Café this past September. Being business partners works great for them. "My husband says we are like two book-ends—when we're both there, it works really well. Everything is held up and strong, and if one is not there,

everything topples over," Arrowsmith explains. "We're a good complement to each other," Donald agrees. The two women had already worked together for four years; realizing that they made a good team, they decided to pair up on a business of their own. Having grown up in nearby Windsor Park, and knowing people in the BelgraviaMcKernan area, the women decided to open their business in the neighbourhood. The sisters also wanted to reflect

Six FACTS about tea 1) After water, tea is the most widelyconsumed beverage in the world. 2) All real tea—that is, non-herbal tea—comes from the camellia sinensis plant. Depending on the level of oxidation and whether the plant was allowed to wilt or not, the tea is classified as white, yellow, green, oolong, puer or black.

3) In the United States, 80 percent of the tea consumed is taken cold, as iced tea. 4) Tea bags were first introduced in 1907 by an American, Thomas Sullivan, but wouldn't fully catch on until 1953 when British tea giant Tetley began selling them. 5) Due to its high value in many Asian

the health consciousness that they shared. The idea for a coffee shop, as well as the decision to sell lunch, came as input from friends. Arrowsmith says that it was Dave from Fresh Start Bakery and Bistro, one of the suppliers for Gracious Goods, who suggested that the women open a café. Later, other friends offered ideas for the menu. "We were thinking, 'Just a coffee shop.' More just the drinks and the goodies. Then the people in the neigh-

Both sisters explain that offering a cozy environment was their initial vision for the café. With the warm colours all around, and with artwork on the walls, the place certainly invites one to stay and relax. Customers include people from the University who will have their meetings in the café, people from the neighbourhood, walking groups, church groups, students, and families. Donald says that she loves seeing one-on-one outings with a parent and a child. "[The one] which I really like is the father and daughter," she says. "And middle-aged men bringing their moms here for tea." Friendly and outgoing, the sisters also explain the meaning behind the café's name. Gracious means being compassionate and kind, but also being grateful. These associations led to the name Gracious Goods. "Our philosophy in life is to be grateful for everything, Arrowsmith says. "Whether it's something good or bad that's happened in life, you can still be grateful for it." V Wendy Arrowsmith and Deb Donald Gracious Goods Café 7601 - 115 St 780.758.8686

BRYAN BIRTLES // BRYAN@vueweekly.com

countries, tea bricks were used in ancient times as currency. Tea bricks were still being used as currency in Siberia until the Second World War. 6) The price of tea in China is rising, with rare and exotic teas—favoured by the newly affluent middle class—selling for as much as 60 000 yuan ($8919 CAD) per kilogram.

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

DISH // 9


BEER

Changes on Whyte

Can beer geeks return civility to notorious party zone?

// Elizabeth Schowalter

In my university days, I spent a lot of time To that end, the Next Act has a number of on Whyte. I lived near it and spent time at local beers available and has become the the bars and pubs along the strip. It was location for Edmonton's second monthly lively, intelligent and diverse. Sadly, over cask ale event. My suspicion is that the the past couple of decades the Avenue place is still evolving and, over the next has deteriorated, and it is not just beyear or two, we will continue to see great cause I am becoming a middle-aged beer developments. fuddy-duddy. The bars got rowWhat may quickly become my dier and the atmosphere less favourite Whyte Avenue locatolerant and eclectic. Instead tion is Wunderbar. This small of scores of arts majors debatbar east of the tracks has m o .c ly eweek ing politics and the meaning of historically been a bit dodgy int@vu tothep life, you found Rude Boys lookfor beer-geek guys like me. Jason ing for a fight. A few months ago, however, Foster However, in the past year or so, I it was bought out by three guys have discovered some sparks of hope, with a determination to do something some beacons of beer-y light. Whyte Avdifferent with the space. The trio of ownenue may be changing again, this time for ers—Craig, Levi and Chris—is doing this the better. Three different places have without tons of capital, corporate backing opened or revamped and, importantly, or even staff. They are the bartenders, committed themselves to good beer and managers and janitors. More importantly, a space for the rest of us. they are lovers of good beer. Their tap ofThe Next Act on 104 Street is a Whyte ferings have become exclusively local— Avenue mainstay but it had seen better the only bar in town to do so. They have days and was clearly losing its coolness Alley Kat, Amber's and Yellowhead offerfactor, until mid-2010 when a trio of young ings on tap. The farthest import is Calmupstarts bought it and realized it needed a ar's Roughneck Brewing. The beer fridge makeover. They completely redid the inhas 75 quality craft brews from around terior, but more importantly revamped its the world. It is an eclectic mix that has beer philosophy. Co-owner Mike Rebalkin something for everyone. says the goal was to become a "commuThe outside is still rather intimidating and nity institution" and they were going to the inside reflective of its goth/punk orido it through reasonable prices, a friendly gins—plus the place is still mostly known atmosphere and a great selection of beer. as a music venue—but the new owners Local is a big part of what they are doing. are trying hard to shift perceptions of the "We support local beer," says Rebalkin. bar. What I say to beer aficionados in town "During our testing we fell in love with Alis give it a try, preferably early in the eveley Kat," and they realized their customers ning when it's quiet. I guarantee you will wanted good local beer on tap. be able to engage the owner/bartender on

TO TH

E

PINT

10 // DISH

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

duty in a conversation about beer. The third place on Whyte is more of an enigma. The Pour House quietly opened a few months ago in the old Bagel Tree location—if you're old enough to remember that institution—on Whyte between 103 and 104 Street. It calls itself a "bier bistro" and is clearly aiming for a gastropub feel. The décor is elegant with lots of wood, soft light and an impressive brick accent wall. The tap selection is disappointing, only offering the standard big boys. The bottled beer menu, however, saves them. It has 43 beers listed, categorized by colour and strength. None are earth-shattering but there is an impressive highlight reel, including Anchor Steam, Czechvar, Cannery Blackberry Porter, Tree Hophead, Blanche de Chambly and Dieu Du Ciel Hibiscus. There is also decent local representation, with Yellowhead Lager, Amber's Mountain Pepper Berry and Alley Kat Aprikat. The Pour House prices may be higher than other places, but it offers an elegance you'd be hard pressed to find elsewhere on the Avenue. The beer menu is undoubtedly imperfect at this point, but you have to give points for trying. My hope is that over time they tweak the bottle list and re-work the tap lines in order to offer a more complete craft beer line-up. All three locations are part of what I think is a growing interest in good craft beer in town. I am very encouraged by their appearance. If the trendiest strip in Edmonton is moving toward good beer, can the rest of the city be far behind? V


VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

DISH // 11


ARTS

REVUE // THEATRE

Sympathy for the devil An Almost Perfect Thing is a dark accomplishment Mel Priestley // mel@vueweekly.com

t seems unthinkable to feel sympathy for a man who would kidnap a 10-year-old girl and hold her for eight years, and yet Nicole Moeller manages to accomplish this by the midway point of her dark and haunting new work, An Almost Perfect Thing. This is a play with teeth. The three characters each present their own versions of biting need: troubled, inscrutable Mathew (David Ley) kidnaps Chloe (Tess Degenstein) in order to "teach her father a lesson." After escaping eight years later, Chloe decides to tell her story only to Greg (Frank Zotter), a has-been journalist who sees this "Miracle Girl" as his ticket to the fame he so desperately craves. Degenstein performs admirably in this very challenging role, though it was Zotter's candid, quick-lipped manner that stole the spotlight. As Mathew, Ley provides an eerie, introverted counterpart to the others' extroversion. The script presents Chloe's stories concurrently: we see her hysterical at age 10, begging Mathew to release her, while at the same time calmly reciting this story to Greg eight years later— albeit describing a very different version of the events. There are obvious parallels in Chloe's relationships with these two men, which director Michael Clark's staging makes even more obvious, and though this may be a touch heavy-handed towards the play's fina-

12 // ARTS

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

// Darrin Hagen

I

A visually captivating piece

le—the dance scene in which Chloe twirls between the two men stretches on a bit too long—it also makes for a visually captivating performance. The cat-and-mouse banter between Greg and Chloe starts out innocently enough, until the origins of this behaviour are revealed. At this point their repartee takes on a sinister undertone as the play's politics are brought to light: though this is at once a deeply personal story of trauma and need, it is also a criticism of the news and media industry, specifically its claim to ownership of the "truth" and the cutthroat, destructive ways in which it obtains this, which are inextricably

tied to society's carnivorous desire for violence and sex. In the end, the audience becomes party to the capturing of Chloe's story, leaving us to reflect upon the destructive, all-encompassing needs that reside within us all. V Thu, Mar 24 – Sun, Apr 10 (7:30 pm) Sunday matinees (2 pm) An Almost Perfect Thing written by NICOLE MOELLER directed by MICHAEL CLARK starring TESS DEGENSTEIN, DAVID LEY, FRANK ZOTTER La Cité Francophone (8627 - 91 St) $15 – $25


PREVUE // THEATRE

Text as sound

// Ed Ellis

An experimental look at Gertrude Stein

Alice (Samantha Hill) ponders The Gertrude Stein Project Paul Blinov // Paul@vueweekly.com

E

ven in turn-of-the-century Paris, when art was surging through uncharted territories, new styles and movements unearthing themselves with force and frequency, Gertrude Stein was still sort of an oddball. An avant-garde art collector turned writer who walked in the same circles as Matisse and Picasso, her free-form dabblings were experiments with text and sound: her poetry and writing is dense, placing syntax and sound over semantic meaning. To read it on a page, even aloud the way it's intended, can be trying, if only in getting your brain to look beyond the grammatical paradoxes and listen to the assembly of words as they interlock together. But Director Beau Coleman is looking to up the ante, so to speak, merging Stein's writing with dance, visual art and sound for Studio Theatre in the The Gertrude Stein Project. "We're trying to get at, who was she, what was she about and how did she see the world," Coleman explains. "So there's only a few pieces [in this show] that were actual literary texts of hers that are a little bit difficult to understand on the page. But once you start reading them, it comes alive, in a very, very different way." Plot is sort of on the back-burner here: though there's a fairly linear section, Coleman notes, documenting interviews between Stein's partner, Alice Toklas, and former Yale prof Leon Katz, elsewhere it's non-chronological, more fragmented, pulling directly from other moments of her life as well as an assemblance of her texts and lectures, both her poetic language experiments and more analytical looks at the world

around her. "Her work leaves it very open to interpretation. It's very much like found text; you can play with text as an object itself, and play with form," Coleman says. Coleman has long held a fascination with Stein's work. And in a twist of fate, this project found its footing with the help of an old professor— Katz was an instructor of Coleman's at Yale which she discovered during her researc. "I was just absolutely shocked it was him," she recalls. She flew to LA to connect with him, now 91, and to ground her show in those interviews, as well as her own research, going through Stein's 173 boxes of artifacts at Yale (a San Francisco collector will be displaying an array of Stein's belongings and memorabilia in the Timms Theatre lobby during the show's run). Not that all of it needs grounding, she notes, once it's off the page. "I'm finding that it's not as dense when you put it in 3D. It isn't," she says. "You see the human person behind her. There's only about a minute and 36 seconds, I believe, of film of her—not in the piece of film itself, but existing— and when you see that, you see that she was actually a very, very alive person who laughed and moved really well, and wasn't necessarily this stern person who's portrayed in photographs." V Until Sat, Apr 9 (7:30 pm) The Gertrude Stein Project Conceived and directed by Beau Coleman Starring Spenser Payne, Peter Fernandes, Samantha Hill, Nicola Elbro, Jamie Cavanagh Timms Centre for the Arts (87 Ave & 112 St), $10 – $20

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

ARTS // 13


PREVUE // THEATRE

Wheelchair unbound

Rick: The Rick Hansen Story looks at the early days of an underdog Paul Blinov // paul@vueweekly.com

T

he world wasn't a wheelchairfriendly place when Rick Hansen found himself trapped in one, just 15 years old, the victim of an accident that paralyzed him from the waist down. It was even less friendly for a natural athlete with hopes of growing up to be a physical education teacher. But Hansen survived, and his tale is up there with the best of the underdog-overcomes stories: he graduated from the University of British Columbia and became a world-class wheelchair marathoner and Paralympic athlete, winning a trio of gold medals in the 1980 and '84 Paralympic games. Inspired by Terry Fox's Marathon of Hope, he later embarked on his own Man in Motion world tour, making a 26-month long trek across 34 countries on four continents to raise money for spinal cord injury research. He

circled the world in a wheelchair, at a time when that was even more daunting than it would be today. "This is a world now full of ramps; it wasn't in 1973," says Robb Paterson, director of Rick: The Rick Hansen Story, which explores the athlete's budding roots. A co-production of the Citadel's Robbins Family Series and Manitoba Theatre for Young People, it takes us through those formative years which laid both the hurdles and the seeds for greatness: the crash and its immediate aftermath. Paterson calls it a tale of a friendship— though one tried and tested on both ends. The play's other main figure, Don, a friend who walked away from the same accident,without a physical scratch. The play makes particular use of multimedia (the production uses seven screens to transition rapidly and completely through locations) to explore that fractured friendship,

and the eventual triumph over the guilt that distances them. As seems to be the benchmark for Hansen, the seemingly impossible was eventually overcome. "There's some philosophies [Hansen]'s developed since the accident that have dictated the kind of man he is and how to live his life," Paterson notes. "One is that something like, 'The only thing that will get in the way of you following or achieving your dreams is you.' Here's a guy who broke his back, and he wanted to be a high school coach, and have a wife and two kids. He ended up raising awareness for spinal cord injuries and changing the world." V Sat, Apr 2 ; TUE, APR 5; SAT, APR 9 (7:30 pm) SUN, APR 3 & SUN, APR 10 (1:30 pm) Rick: The Rick Hansen Story Written by DENNIS FOON Directed by ROBB PATERSON Citadel Theatre (9828 - 101A Ave)

COMMENT >> BOOKS

That dreaded achievment The White Hotel is rich and expansive

Both epistolary novel and poem, erotic could be taken as everything its author fantasia and Holocaust memorial, homhas to say in one compact volume. age to psychoanalysis and lament for the failures of communism, The White The White Hotel's protagonist is Lisa, Hotel, first published 30 years ago, a Ukrainian opera singer and possible still feels somehow singular in spite clairvoyant of Russian-Jewish and Polof the countless similarly structured ish-Catholic extraction. She becomes postmodernist novels that have a long-term patient of Sigmund appeared in the interim. SomeFreud, who, with Lisa's perthing to do, perhaps, with mission, publishes her fanthe book's uncompromising tasy journals, which detail commitment to the distinct a hallucinatory excursion .com weekly formal challenges of each to the white hotel. Outside h@vue tc o c s of its disparate parts. It's hop the hotel occur a string of f e s Jo certainly proved singular in catastrophic disasters, while Braun inside Lisa and one of Freud's the career of Cornish writer DM Thomas, now in his mid-70s. sons (who she's never met in real For all his many accomplishments in life) fornicate, eat and socialize. Freud poetry, memoir, translation and fiction regards the journal as a valuable doc(including 13 novels, by my count), The ument on “severe sexual hysteria,” the White Hotel, shortlisted for the Booker text's erotic reveries, its images of falland a bestseller, may be the only one ing stars, orgiastic breastfeeding, landof Thomas' works to have ever enjoyed slides, blowjobs and glaciers, function sustained acclaim. Sadly, it's the only as the manifestation of a repressed one I ever come across in bookstores childhood memory and its thorny anymore (though some years ago I did emotional residue. Freud's perspective manage to pick up Thomas' fascinaton Lisa reads about as patriarchal and ing, if adoring, biography of Alexandr benignly sexist as you might imagine, Solzhenitsyn). Is it really possible that yet there's a tenderness between the Thomas, who so dazzled readers back characters evident in their corresponin 1981, failed to write anything else dence that Thomas evokes movingly, worthy of further recognition, of keepwhile still leaving space for the reader ing in print? I haven't done the hometo question the limitations of Freud's work to answer that question, but I analysis. (His diagnosis of homosexucan tell you that The White Hotel does ality feels particularly reductive.) In bear some resemblance to that rare any event, The White Hotel, along with achievement that many authors dread: Tom McCarthy's recent C, whose prothe one book so rich and expansive, tagonist was based on Freud's famous so formally and thematically dense, "Wolf-Man" case study, has me itching so sweeping and impassioned that it to finally read Freud's own writing.

HOP H C SCOT

14 // ARTS

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

What strikes me as the most compelling aspect of The White Hotel is its manner of merging the personal with the historical, the factual with fiction. In a letter to a colleague, Freud notes how dreams of trains always symbolize death. Elsewhere he writes of his increasing conviction about the proximity between libido and the death instinct. Over the course of the novel, Lisa's visions of civilized passenger trains ushering her to a place that prompts a torrent of previously forbidden sexual activity lead to a reality in which barbaric, over-crowded trains usher millions of Europeans to places of industrialized humiliation and death (and Thomas' appropriation of testimonies from survivors of Babi Yar). But along the way Lisa will sing, travel, make friends, wrestle with her past and even marry and become a mother. She'll see the Shroud of Turin, which ironically crushes her faith in the Resurrection, and read about Peter Kürten, the so-called Vampire of Düsseldorf, who will fascinate and confuse her sense of human need and desire. Throughout the novel's shifting tones and perspectives Thomas nurtures our understanding of Lisa' psychology with more nuance and complexity than any tidy analysis could completely fathom. So though the final stop on her journey is a harrowing one, the depth and dignity of the journey itself balances the novel's overwhelming horror with a deeper sense of a single life having been lived and examined. V


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VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

ARTS // 15


FILM fenses: the house, the family and eventually the body itself. "This is something James and I have wanted to do for a long time. As long as I've known James. Even from before we started chatting about making feature films, we told each other ghost stories," Whannel explains over the phone from Vancouver, where he and Wan are fielding a press day's worth of calls. "One of the side effects of being really into horror films is you tend to be really attracted to ghost stories." There's nary a splayed throat or severed limb to be found in Insidious, but Wan notes the lack of gore felt organic to the genre. "When you're making a ghost movie, you don't need to see blood and guts. It's not that kind of a film," he says. "If you're watching a zombie film, then yeah, I wanna see my goods, I wanna see my gore and bloody details. But when you're making a haunting ghost apparition movie, what makes it scary is the fact that you could be seeing a ghost."

Paul Blinov // paul@vueweekly.com

I

nsidious starts, like all good ghost stories, with the arrival of the unassuming. The Lambert family— schoolteacher Josh (Patrick Wilson), stay-at-home mom/musician Renai (Rose Byrne), and children Dalton (Ty Simpkins), Foster (Andrew Astor) and a newborn—take up residence in a suburban, cookie-cutter type of house with just enough angles, points and open space to recall a sort of Gothic sentiment. Still, there are a few moments of forboding that tell us something isn't right: books that knock themselves off a shelf, some creepy creaks and the omnipresent tick of a grandfather clock. Then Dalton skins his knee falling off a ladder in the creepy attic, and in the morning has seemingly lapsed into a coma. Doctors can neither explain or treat it, and three months pass with no recovery. And then the real dark rum-

16 // FILM

blings begin: garbled demonic voices in the baby monitor while Renai's home alone with Dalton's unconscious body, then bloody handprints all over Dalton's sheets, then a figure in the window, and the downward spiral of increasingly paranormal visions and demonic spirits picks up its pace: creatures that appear in windows, blow open the front door in the middle of the night, stop a record and replace it with the high-pitched whinny of Tiny Tim, then stick around tauntingly. Evil's bad like that. Frightened, the family moves in with Josh's mother (Barbara Hershey), but it's to no avail. Some deeper sort of evil has found them, linked to Dalton's body—though not in the creepy child way that's become so popular in mainstream horror—and it's not letting go without a fight. I consider myself pretty numbed to the effects of a horror film, yet the notes I took during the press screening of Insidious include "Spooky-ass

shit," "Fucked up" and "Great. Back to that fucking house." It's to the credit of writer Leigh Whannel and director James Wan, known best for kicking off the modern horror franchise Saw, that Insidious is actually nothing like that series—the only acknowledgement of their gory roots is the face of Saw's iconic puppet Billy, drawn on Josh's classroom blackboard, looking quite cheery and pleased with himself. It's a movie that uses sound and mood more than blood and guts, and continuous, jarring moments to destabilize you. There are no fake scares, no cats jumping on the hood of a car. Every jump is for a reason. You don't feel safe watching the screen. If Insidious starts to lose some punch by the third act, after a séance goes awry, at least it's because it's going down a path of its own instead of falling back on genre clichés. Whannel and Wan have crafted a sort of Poltergeist update, a haunted house story where even leaving the house can't protect you as dark forces work their way through your de-

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

The pair met in film school with a mutual love of the horror genre. After graduating, they shot an eight-minute version of the original Saw (with Whannel acting) to shop around. It got them a modest, just-over-million-dollar budget and a release from Lions Gate Films. From that first feature, Saw evolved into the largest horror franchise of the modern day. They've been executive producers on each installment of the series, but long before Saw 3D, the seventh instalment, hit the screens this fall, they'd taken some steps away from that particular horror-brand: Wan only directed the first Saw movie, moving on afterwards to other work including another pair of horror films, Dead Silence (2007) and Death Sentence (2007). Whannel stuck around to flesh out a trilogy of scripts (as well as acting in the series) but pulled back creatively after the third movie. "I liked the idea of writing the box set; I like the fact that there's a Saw trilogy out there with my name on it," he explains, "But by the end of Saw III, I was starting to feel like I was painting with the same colours, and I couldn't really spend any more time thinking up ways to kill people." As if detoxing from all that gore, Whannel wrote a children's movie after Saw III, one currently working its way through the studio system. Whannel and Wan's best work has been done together though, and Insidious ranks among it, if only through that dual sense of agreement: going into Insidious, they made a list of genre clichés they didn't want to have appear in the film. "We wanted to take some conventions of the genre and skew it around, kind of break it," Wan explains "There's a lot of ruts that mainstream horror films of recent year have fallen into," Whannel adds. "James and I really wanted this film to be representative of our likes and dislikes of the modern horror scene."

The current horror scene does seem split: for every sleeper success like Paranormal Activity (or the original Saw, for that matter), there's a handful of remakes or sequels that simply perpetuate the usual screamer tropes— not to prejudge, but the fact Scream 4 is due out later this month sort of underlines the point. Of course, the foreign horror market is a different beast altogether. But the Hollywood take on horror seems to be a well of undiminished financial returns, one often devoid of actual fright. The usual clichés—sexpot teens, buckets of gore, an iconic killer figure—parade through movie after movie to the point where it slips into self parody (see: Freddie vs Jason), filled with knowing winks to an endless barrage of clichés, as if that was somehow an excuse for a lack of creativity. It's all less Exorcist and more Nightmare on Elm Street: high levels of carnage and a bleed-by-numbers body count, but little in the way of mood or actual unsettlement (or usually a quality film, for that matter). "The problem with a lot of movies that have been pumped out of the Hollywood studio system is that they're not scary at all," Wan says. "And I give a lot of kudos to people who make the effort to make films to make scary movies scary. It's like trying to make a comedy funny: you want your comedy to be funny; you don't want it to be blah. To replace gory shocks with actual scares in Insidious, Wan and Whannel found it necessary to work outside of the major studio system. Though the continued success of their lucrative Saw franchise could've gotten Insidious bankrolled for a solid chunk of change, they instead made it on the cheap, sacrificing dollar value for creative control. The producers behind Paranormal Activity bankrolled Insidious for $1 million, less money than they made the original, unproven Saw on, but a more than ample amount to achieve what they were trying for. "If I'd done it through the studio system, there's a certain template as to how they make their scary films that I feel would be very detrimental to this film, and I felt like it would've been the wrong approach," Wan states. "And that's why Leigh and I were very happy to make this film with the guys from Paranormal Activity, and make the movie for next to nothing really. It's our smallest film. It's smaller than Saw. But we know that we have complete creative control to write the script the way we want to write it, and for me, to make the film the way I want to make it." V Opening Friday Insidious Directed by James Wan Written by Leigh Whannel Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Barbara hershey

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Jane Eyre

bender, most definitely does—as does Fukunaga's camera. Fassbender smartly avoids foreshadowing Rochester's interest in Jane. (As anyone familiar with the story knows, this gloomy grump's got other things on his mind.) The first time we see Rochester attempt to engage Jane in conversation, he asks: "All governesses have a tale of woe. What's yours?" Jane flatly denies having any such tale. The film however endeavours all too eagerly to fill in the blanks.

Opening Friday Directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga Written by Moira Buffini Starring Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender



This latest BBC adaptation of Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë's proto-feminist gothic classic, is perhaps most obviously distinguished by its counter-intuitive choice of director. The young Oakland-born Swedish-Japanese-American filmmaker Cary Fukunaga's debut Sin Nombre was a violent border-crossing drama filmed largely in Mexico. It was also at times a bit overwrought, which prompts one to consider whether Fukunaga might just find his métier in melodrama. The distinctive handheld-camera style Fukuyama nurtured with cinematographer Adriano Goldman in that earlier film has been transplanted to mid-19th century English castles, sprawling gardens

Brontë's Jane, by way of the BBC

and darkened woods, and the approach works surprisingly well, its mobility and slight trembles imbuing the picture with a jarring intimacy and its heroine with a sense of hesitation to balance her hardwon confidence. That heroine is embodied by Mia Wasikowska, more obviously ideal for her role as the ostensibly homely governess drawn into spectral romance. Her pallor, her figure so slight it could nearly

be blown away by a strong gust, her arresting eyes and compact mouth that elongate into a goofy grin, allow her to convincingly shift from discreet and unremarkable to a creature of subtle, slightly cerebral loveliness, while the peculiar intensity of her gaze and her unnerving stillness read as qualities that most of those she encounters would never take note of, but Rochester, her brooding, Byronic employer, nicely played by Michael Fass-

of these are pure fodder to dampen the impact of the brutal mauling. Hamilton, played well by AnnaSophia Robb (Bridge to Terabithia) is continuously engaged in awkward flirting, fun-in-the-sun surf montages, ideal American family ad infinitum, Hawaii's natural beauty, Sunday worship on a picturesque beach led by mentor figure Sarah Hill, played by Carrie Underwood— who never appears on camera without a solid quarter-inch of make-up—night surfing and playing ukulele.

tubal wave. Thereafter the film returns to the bland and predictable trajectory you would expect. Efforts to thicken up the film by casting leading B-scene actors such as Dennis Quaid and Helen Hunt do not go unnoticed. With the exception of Quaid, Hunt and Robb, the acting is often difficult to watch without laughing. It cannot go unmentioned that the Bethany Hamilton story has already resulted in numerous endorsements that extend far beyond surfing (she has her own perfume line) and the fundamental Christian underpinnings of both this film and the verifiable industry that's risen around her are no small contribution. This film is but another—and surely the largest yet— capitalization on a beautiful and triumphant story that is worth sharing. It is a shame it couldn't be accomplished more artistically.

My only significant reservation with this Jane Eyre has to do with Tamara Drewe scripter Moira Buffini's adaptation (or perhaps Fukunaga and editor Melanie Oliver's post-production re-arrangement of it). The film's performances and imagery are compelling enough, its details rich, but it never quite finds its time signature. The flashing backwards and forwards from the central action through Jane's life, from her being branded a liar and a "small, ungrateful plant," to her time in the orphanage, from being

locked in the red room to being perched on the pedestal of infamy, to her term as a country teacher on some barren plain where she's courted by a minister (Jamie Bell), doesn't seem to find a natural rhythm, and the momentum suffers for it. Unlike earlier miniseries versions especially, this Jane Eyre seems to have opted not to try and cram the whole novel into its just under two-hours duration. I find myself wishing it went farther with that conviction. Films can thrive on implication, on leaving context within the margins of scenes, in the responses of the characters or allusions made by other means. I don't think we really need to know that much about Jane's past to understand the urgency and emotional textures of her fascinatingly morbid romance. Brontë's novel is filled with evocative prose, but when translating her tale into images (at least when the images are as potent as these), the less that's explained, the better. Josef Braun

// josef@vueweekly.com

Soul Surfer Opening Friday Directed by Sean McNamara. Starring AnnaSophia Robb, Dennis Quaid, Helen Hunt.



From Sean McNamara, director of That's So Raven, Hillary Duff's Raise Your Voice and Hulk Hogan's 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, comes Soul Surfer, an empowering teen drama about Bethany Hamilton, a professional surfer who lost her arm to a shark attack at age 13 and overcame her injury to continue surfing. Soul Surfer is pocked by numerous blemishes that all the glitz of Hollywood and bikini clad surfers cannot atone for. The atrociously dull dialogue sounds as though written by a dozen middle-aged screenwriters spit-balling about what kids sound like these days. This is especially evident in the garish and endlessly drawn out opening scenes leading up to the impending shark attack itself. The majority

West is West Now playing Directed by Andy DeEmmony Written by Ayub Khan-Din Starring Aqib Khan, Om Puri



This unimaginatively titled sequel to the 1999 British smash hit East is East opens in the miserable dinge of Salford, 1976, with teenaged Sanji (Aqib Khan) getting mercilessly bullied for being brown. He's then taken to rural Pakistan by George (Om Puri), his cauliflower-nosed, potty-mouthed, child-slappin' pa. "He not know who he is!" cries George, yet it becomes clear that George's sense of cultural identity is hardly any more assured. George abandoned his traditionalist Pakistani wife and daughters for an earthy white Briton (Linda Bassett) who gave him his desired Anglo-Asian sons and a chip shop decades ago, and has seemingly never looked back except to write

When the film finally does arrive at the point of conflict, Hamilton's traumatic dismemberment, we are rewarded with the finest five minutes of the film. The shock and concern, the vomiting and desperation, the disturbingly realistic prayers gasped between breaths, all resounding in a flurry of tribal drums and incantations with tastefully nauseating camera work. It is hard not to laugh, though, when Hamilton's tunnel-of-white-light is a curling

guilt-sodden cheques. So while Sanji makes the transition from constantly telling all his elders to fuck themselves to taking some extremely vague sense of pride in his Pakistani roots, George, stricken with a bad case of nostalgia and all its inherent disappointments, comes to the realization that he's no longer strictly Pakistani at all. He's made his life elsewhere, and "home" is an illusion. The film's split focus is the least of its problems. Khan and the always entertaining Puri manage surprisingly substantial performances considering how weak the material is. Given that, in premise at least, George's journey is an emotionally complex one, Ayub KhanDin, who also scripted East is East, likely began this project with laudable ambitions, yet somewhere along the line those complexities were cast aside to make room for god-awful broad

Joe Gurba

// joe@vueweekly.com

comedy and point-form storytelling. All of the many confrontation scenes feel forced, generic and utterly artificial, as though Robert Lane's score, laden with ethnic clichés, prompted the narrative instead of the other way round. There's a third narrative thread in which Sanji's awkward elder brother Maneer (Emil Marwa), erotically obsessed with Nana Mouskouri, seeks a nice little Pakistani wife for himself. Sanji takes control of the situation by simply finding Pakistan's closest approximation to Nana Mouskouri, which basically means any female in dark, thick-framed glasses—and it all works out marvelously! No doubt some will find this objectification of women as celebrity lookalike marriage bait offensive. Me, I'm mostly offended by the sheer creative somnolence that produced such hokum. Josef Braun

// josef@vueweekly.com

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

FILM // 17


IRREVERSIBLE

Source Code Opening Friday Directed by Duncan Jones Written by Ben Ripley Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, and Vera Farmiga

Fri, Apr 1 (7 pm) Written and directed by Gaspar Noé Starring Vincent Cassel, Monica Bellucci Metro Cinema (9828 - 101A Ave)





Doubling back to revisit Gaspar Noé's Irreversible (2002) following Metro's recent premiere of Enter the Void, the New French Extremist's most recent work, offers diminishing returns with regards to the film's overall sleaze-bag sensationalism while its notorious mid-point rape scene remains genuinely unbearable. Moving chronologically backwards through its deceptively simple urban Straw Dogs revenge narrative, Irreversible begins with a daughter-molesting ex-con lamenting how "time destroys all things," thus announcing the theme from the outset, lest we fail to grasp it on our own. From here we hit a gay sex club called the Rectum, a Halloween-lit cavernous labyrinth of cock-sucking and flagellation, and rise to our first climax in which Pierre (Albert Dupontel) smashes a degenerate's face to a pulp before a handful of cheerfully masturbating spectators, among them the director himself. Take that as you will. From here we jump back to find Marcus (Vincent Cassel) and Pierre on their way to said face-obliteration, attacking and insulting both a Chinese cabbie and hermaphrodite hooker along the way. "Off to the Rectum!" shouts Cassel, clearly instructed to repeat the word "rectum" as

An Irreversible watching experience

often as possible. After this, which is to say before, Marcus's unspeakably lovely girlfriend Alex (Monica Bellucci) is anally assaulted and viciously beaten for eight unblinking minutes in a red-painted underpass—yet another rectal tunnel! After this, presuming we're still watching, we learn why Alex took the tunnel, listen to a long, banal, repetitive conversation about sexual pleasure on the métro, and discover a secret Alex has been keeping that makes her fate that much more appalling and tragic. Irreversible's structure is cleanly aligned to its themes of entropy and inescapable doom, though, seeing the film again after

all these years, its effect-before-cause formalism strikes me as little more than a nihilist-sadist pulp thriller version of Jeopardy!: answer first, question second. This is mostly because once you get the gist of Noé's concept there's little left to explore and much to deplore. The actors are obviously of a higher caliber than those in Enter the Void, but they have little to say (the dialogue is blather) and not much to do besides endure ghastly torment or exact medieval violence. I don't think I'll be reversing through this one again.

Source Code is billed as a science-fiction action-thriller, but the sum of its parts is an unconvincing final product. The film begins abruptly, as dedicated military macho man Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) suddenly finds himself in another man's body. He soon learns he's on a source code mission: a top-secret army project that has transplanted his consciousness into the body of a man caught in a terrorist bombing on a Chicago commuter train. Source code allows Stevens to live out this person's final eight minutes of life, giving him a short window of opportunity to apprehend the train bomber—when the eight minutes are up, he has to start all over again, looking

Nothing in Source Code is executed to its full potential. The initial find-and-disarm-atimebomb premise is too straightforward to provide any moments of genuine suspense, and after that plot direction has been exhausted, Gyllenhaal's one-dimensional character is simply too weak to carry a real storyline. Eventually degenerating into grandiose statements about the military's victory in the war on terror and constant references to Captain Stevens' heroism and sacrifice, the film seems more interested in proclaiming "support the troops" than facilitating a compelling narrative. Source Code tries to be too many things at once, and what isn't lost to cliché and time constraints is simply not memorable enough to hold onto. Madeline Smith

// madeline@vueweekly.com

Sucker Punch There's visual punch, but nothing else

Josef Braun

// josef@vueweekly.com

Now playing Directed by Zack Snyder Written by Snyder, Steve Shibuya Starring Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone  Sucker Punch is a spectacular flop of fancy, mind-blowingly empty in its dream/ reality-blurring plot, which is about as profound as if an eight-year-old Ayn Rand wrote Inception. The moral of this gothic fairy-tale/fantasy-quest/girl-power-action mash-up turns out to be super-American, individual godliness: "It's you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight." Sure enough, I found myself desperately fighting—against waves of sadness and despair that an $82-million budget could be so vacuum-flushed away. The music video/backstory involves a pigtailed blonde (apparently 20 but looking about 14) finding her sister murdered by their evil stepfather. Or not. Either way, she's put in a mental institution that she reimagines as a '50s burlesque club/brothel from which she, now Baby Doll (Emily Browning), and her newfound Band of Sisters—Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish, who keeps acting as if she's in a good movie), Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), Amber (Jamie Chung)—must escape. Then it gets really nuts. The deadly dancers procure the facility's map, a lighter for setting a fire, a knife and a master key, all

18 // FILM

for new clues within the same sequence of time.

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

while Baby Doll hypnotizes onlookers with sexy swaying. She dances by imagining her samurai-swording self and the gun-toting Girly-Gang fighting big battles: in a First World War trenchscape versus German steampunk soldiers, in a castle versus orclike creatures and a giant dragon, on a bullet train versus robots. It's not just that Baby Doll's nightmareasylum and fantasy-lands barely connect. The emotionless, weightless, logicless CGI battle scenes are mere pixellated pyrotechnics, shots fixated on sword-arcs and bullet-angles (a biplane's actually brought down by one revolver shot). Director Snyder's addicted to slo-mo and bullet-time. The dialogue—exposition, dumb one-liners or mixed metaphors ("a few bad eggs ... have spit in the face of that generosity")— is so wooden even termites couldn't chew it. Our High-Heeled Heroines are crazy, sexy or traumatized by vile men—while, hypocritically, the camera lingers lasciviously on Baby Doll's puffy lips and wide eyes. The flick muddles along as if Nintendo fused Cabaret and A Streetcar Named Desire for people who play Call of Duty. Still, in hitting rock-bottom with this stagey spectacle of young women's trauma, emotional breakdowns, and fantasized ass-kickery, Snyder's carved out a pointless new subgenre for post-MTV, pop-fiction moviemaking—call it video-game camp. Brian Gibson

// brian@vueweekly.com


COMMENT >> TELEVISION

Slacker uprising

Portlandia lampoons DIY culture as it points out its relevance Based on a series of online vignettes this world include a sanctimonious done under the name Thunderant, Satbike messenger, the proprietors of a urday Night Live's Fred Armisen feminine-focused bookstore and and former Sleater Kinney various other caricatured porHE H guitarist Carrie Brownstein trayals of the pierced and WATC have taken their show to tattooed, soon-to-be-yuppie the mainstream on IFC with masses. m o ekly.c Portlandia. It's sketch comThis hipster parody is often vuewe @ d n rola edy that crosses the slacker Rolanrdton extreme. One sketch follows parody of HBO's Mr Show a health-minded couple squabPembe with the non-sequiturs of Tim bling with their server about the And Eric Awesome Show, Great full extent of their chicken's organic Job! and the rapid-fire wit of Arrested background, going so far as to drive Development. Portlandia naturally reseveral miles to check out the farm volves around Portland, Oregon, a city it grew up on before eating. Another presented as the American depository shows a social info war unfolding at for the outdated ideals of '90s couna coffee shop: neither combatant has terculture. The characters that inhabit ever read a periodical that the other

NEL C H AENR O Z

hasn't. A new magazine is dropped on the table and they literally start devouring culture, ripping and gnawing at

own life pursuits. For instance, take the now-viral "Put A Bird On It" sketch. It features Armisen and Brownstein as the employees of a Nokomis-esque boutique hocking wares that feature screen printed birds on them yet cowering in the presence of a real-life bird gone rogue in their shop. This seems to be the conceit of Portlandia: lampoon-

The only hope of television is to catch up with the Internet and this show is an example of commenting on a new medium in hopes of preserving and advancing an old one. the glossy paper, running through moving traffic to grab a dangling phonebook across the street. As someone currently reading an altweekly newspaper, you may find the content of this show reflective of your

ing the extremism of do-it-yourself culture but admitting its relevance by mentioning it to a mainstream viewing audience. This also seems indicative of the com-

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

moditization of the hipster subculture. Just as Urban Outfitters usurps the disorganized ranks of the various outposts of DIY commerce and repackages them for people without the time or concern for personalized tastemaking, Portlandia is an exercise in parodying sub-mainstream norms for people who get it as well as those who eventually want to be let in on the joke. While Mr Show hinted at jabbing the '90s indie lifestyle in subversive ways, Portlandia builds upon this foundation by utilizing and expanding upon the online culture their comedy originally sprung forth from. The only hope of television is to catch up with the Internet and this show is an example of commenting on a new medium in hopes of preserving and advancing an old one. The Thunderant duo have created a mainstream gateway between online comedy, YouTube culture and the hipster lifestyle to great effect with IFC's Portlandia. V

FILM // 19


FILM WEEKLY FRI, APR 1, 2011 – THU, APR 7, 2011 s

CHABA THEATRE�JASPER 6094 Connaught Dr, Jasper, 780.852.4749

RANGO (PG) FRI�SAT 7:00; SUN�THU 8:00; SAT�SUN 1:30

BATTLE LOS ANGELES (14A violence) FRI�SAT 7:00, 9:10; SUN�THU 8:00; SAT�SUN 1:30

8:00, 10:35

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) FRI�TUE,THU 12:30,

recommended for young children) DAILY 7:15, 9:25

YOGI BEAR (G) DAILY 1:35, 3:45, 6:40, 9:00 BLACK SWAN (14A sexual content, disturbing

content, not recommended for children) DAILY 1:50, 4:35, 7:25, 9:55

TANGLED (G) Digital 3D DAILY 1:30, 4:20, 6:45, 9:20 HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HAL� LOWS: PART 1 (PG frightening scenes, violence,

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG coarse lan-

not recommended for young children) DAILY 1:10, 4:45, 7:45

BARNEY'S VERSION (14A coarse language, sexual

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA�VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER (PG frightening scenes) DAILY

guage) FRI�SAT 9:10; SUN�WED 8:00

content, substance abuse) THU 7:30 (film club night)

CINEMA CITY MOVIES 12 5074-130 Ave, 780.472.9779

GAME (STC) HINDI W/E.S.T. FRI�SUN 1:00, 3:50,

6:45, 9:40; MON�THU 2:00, 5:00, 8:00

BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON (PG)

DAILY 1:55, 4:25, 7:10, 9:35

THE EAGLE (PG violence, not recommended for

young children) DAILY 1:40, 4:30, 7:05, 9:45

THE ROOMMATE (14A violence) DAILY 7:30, 10:00 NO STRINGS ATTACHED (14A substance abuse,

sexual content, not recommended for children) DAILY 1:15, 3:50, 7:00, 9:30

THE GREEN HORNET 3D (14A violence, coarse language) Digital 3D DAILY 1:20, 4:00, 6:55, 9:30 THE DILEMMA (PG coarse language) DAILY 1:25,

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG coarse lan-

4:40, 7:20, 9:50

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS (PG) DAILY 1:45, 4:15 LITTLE FOCKERS (PG crude sexual content, not

1:05, 3:40

CINEPLEX ODEON NORTH 14231-137 Ave, 780.732.2236

3:20, 6:50, 9:40; WED 3:20, 6:50, 9:40; Star & Strollers Screening WED 1:00

HOP (G) DTS Digital, No passes, Stadium Seating DAILY 12:25, 2:50, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15

BATTLE LOS ANGELES (14A violence) Digital Cinema FRI�TUE,THU 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:10; WED 1:30, 4:30, 10:10

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) Dolby Stereo

RED RIDING HOOD (PG violence, frightening

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES

RANGO (PG) DAILY 1:00, 3:40, 6:30, 9:10 BEASTLY (PG) DAILY 12:50, 3:50, 7:00 THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG coarse language)

LIMITLESS (14A) DTS Digital, Stadium Seating

scenes) DAILY 9:20

FRI�TUE,THU 12:40, 3:30, 6:45, 9:30; WED 3:30, 6:45, 9:30; Star & Strollers Screening WED 1:00

Digital Cinema DAILY 1:20, 4:00, 6:40, 9:00

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (R brutal violence)

DAILY 2:10, 5:20, 8:10, 10:40

LIMITLESS (14A) DAILY 1:40, 4:10, 7:20, 9:55 PAUL (14A language may offend) DAILY 1:50, 4:45,

CINEPLEX ODEON SOUTH 1525-99 St, 780.436.8585

2:30, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50; SUN 12:00, 2:30, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10; MON�WED 1:00, 3:30, 6:30, 9:00 THU 1:00, 3:30, 6:30, 9:00

SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence) Ul-

traavx, No passes FRI�SAT 1:00, 3:20, 5:45, 8:15, 10:45; SUN 1:00, 3:20, 5:45, 8:15, 10:30; MON�THU 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45

INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recom-

mended for children) No passes FRI�SAT 12:30, 3:00, 5:30, 8:20, 10:50; SUN 12:30, 3:00, 5:30, 7:45, 10:20; MON�THU 1:45, 4:30, 7:25, 10:00

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) Digital Cinema

FRI�SAT 12:00, 2:35, 5:10, 8:00, 10:45; SUN 12:00, 2:35, 5:10, 8:00, 10:30; MON�THU 1:15, 4:30, 7:40, 10:10

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G)

FRI�SAT 12:10, 2:40, 5:15, 8:00, 10:20; SUN 12:10, 2:40, 5:00, 7:25, 9:55; MON�TUE 1:00, 3:25, 5:40, 7:50, 9:55; WED�THU 1:00, 3:25, 5:40, 7:50, 10:05

THU 5:15, 7:50

1:10, 3:55, 6:50, 9:30; MON�THU 5:10, 8:05

LIMITLESS (14A) FRI�SUN 1:45, 4:35, 7:10, 9:45; MON�THU 5:00, 8:25

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) Digital Presenta-

tion FRI�SUN 1:00, 3:50, 6:35, 9:20; MON�THU 5:20, 8:10

PAUL (14A language may offend) FRI�SUN 1:50, 4:25, 6:55, 9:25; MON�THU 5:35, 8:20

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G)

FRI�SUN 1:20, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15; MON�THU 4:50, 7:45

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) No passes FRI� SUN 1:30, 4:20, 7:05, 9:40; MON�THU 5:30, 8:15

SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence) Digital Presentation FRI�SUN 2:10, 4:50, 7:20, 9:50; MON�THU 5:40, 8:40 HOP (G) No passes FRI�SUN 1:40, 4:10, 6:40, 9:10; MON�THU 5:25, 8:00 INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recom-

mended for children) FRI�SUN 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:35; MON�THU 5:50, 8:30

DUGGAN CINEMA�CAMROSE 6601-48 Ave, Camrose, 780.608.2144

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (R brutal violence) FRI�

SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence)

LIMITLESS (14A) FRI 1:00, 3:25, 6:00, 8:30, 11:00;

HOP (G) DAILY 7:05, 9:20; SAT SUN 2:05 SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) DAILY 6:45, 9:10;

SAT 8:45, 10:50; SUN�THU 8:15, 10:15

SAT 12:45, 3:10, 5:30, 8:30, 11:00; SUN 1:00, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15; MON�WED 1:20, 3:50, 7:10, 9:50; THU 3:50, 7:10, 9:50; Star & Strollers Screening THU 1:00

PAUL (14A language may offend) FRI�SAT 1:30, 4:00,

6:15, 8:35, 10:55; SUN 1:30, 4:10, 7:20, 9:45; MON�THU 1:35, 4:15, 7:40, 10:15

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) FRI�SAT 12:40, 3:15, 5:50, 8:30, 11:00; SUN 1:30, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00; MON� THU 1:30, 4:40, 7:15, 10:00

BATTLE LOS ANGELES (14A violence) Digital Cinema FRI�SAT 12:30, 3:15, 5:50, 8:35, 11:00; SUN 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; MON�TUE 1:40, 4:40, 7:30, 10:05; WED 1:40, 4:40, 10:05; THU 1:40, 4:10, 7:30, 10:05 MARS NEEDS MOMS 3D (PG) FRI�SUN 12:30,

2:45, 5:50; MON�THU1:30, 3:45, 5:50

RED RIDING HOOD (PG violence, frightening scenes) FRI�SAT 12:45, 3:10, 5:30, 8:25, 10:40; SUN 12:45, 7:40, 10:10; MON�THU 1:25, 3:55, 6:50, 9:30 RANGO (PG) Digital Cinema FRI�SUN 12:10, 2:50,

5:15, 7:45, 10:15; MON�TUE 1:15, 4:00, 7:15, 9:40; WED 1:15, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; THU 4:00, 10:00 Star & Strollers Screening THU 1:00

BEASTLY (PG) FRI�SAT 1:30, 3:50, 6:30, 8:50, 11:00;

SUN 1:30, 3:45, 10:20; MON�THU 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:50, 10:15

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG coarse language) FRI�SAT 1:05, 3:30, 5:55, 8:15, 10:40; SUN 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 10:05; MON�THU 1:00, 3:40, 7:20, 10:05

HALL PASS (14A nudity, crude sexual content,

substance abuse) FRI,SUN 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:45, 10:25; SAT 5:25, 7:45, 10:25; MON�THU 1:40, 4:20, 7:25, 9:55

DAILY 6:55, 9:00; SAT�SUN 1:55

LEDUC CINEMAS Leduc, 780.352.3922

LIMITLESS (14A) DAILY 6:55, 9:30 SAT�SUN 12:55, 3:30

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) DAILY 7:05, 9:35;

SAT�SUN 1:05, 3:35

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G)

DAILY 7:10, 9:25; SAT�SUN 1:10, 3:25

HOP (G) SAT�SUN 1:00, 3:20; DAILY 7:00, 9:20

METRO CINEMA 9828-101A Ave, Citadel Theatre, 780.425.9212

RACE TO NOWHERE (PG) THU 7:00 TURKEY SHOOT: RED DAWN (STC) THU 9:15 IRREVERSIBLE (R brutal violence, sexual violence, disturbing content) FRI 7:00

DEDFEST PRESENTS: APRIL FOOLS DAY EXTRAVAGANZA (STC) FRI 9:00 THE ROOM (STC) SAT 8:00 EDMONTON JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL (STC) SUN 1:00, 3:00, 7:00, 9:00; MON 7:00, 9:00 ==

PARKLAND CINEMA 7

130 Century Crossing, Spruce Grove, 780.972.2332 (Spruce Grove, Stony Plain; Parkland County)

HOP (G) DAILY 6:55, 9:05; FRI�SUN, TUE 12:55, 3:05 SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence) DAILY 6:45, 9:30; FRI�SUN, TUE 12:45, 3:30

INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recom-

mended for children) DAILY 7:15, 9:15; FRI�SUN, TUE 1:15, 3:15

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) DAILY 6:50, 9:20; FRI�SUN, TUE 12:50, 3:20 DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G) DAILY 7:10, 9:10; FRI�SUN, TUE 1:05, 3:00

PAUL (14A language may offend) DAILY 7:00, 9:25; FRI�SUN, TUE 1:00, 3:25; Movies for Mommies TUE 1:00

RANGO (PG) DAILY 7:10, 9:10; FRI�SUN, TUE 1:10, 3:10

PRINCESS 10337-82 Ave, 780.433.0728

SAT�SUN 1:45

JANE EYRE (PG) DAILY 6:50, 9:10; SAT�SUN 2:00; No 7:00 show on THU, APR 7

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G)

EXIT 67 (14A violence, coarse language) DAILY 7:00,

DAILY 6:50, 9:05; SAT�SUN 1:50

PAUL (14A language may offend) DAILY 7:00, 9:15; SAT�SUN 2:00

EDMONTON FILM SOCIETY Royal Alberta Museum, 102 Ave, 128 St, royalalbertamuseum.ca/events/movies/movies.cfm

DR. STRANGELOVE (PG) MON, APR 4: 8:00

GALAXY�SHERWOOD PARK 2020 Sherwood Dr, Sherwood Park 780-416-0150

HOP (G) No passes FRI�SUN 11:50, 2:15, 4:45, 7:20,

9:00; SAT�SUN 2:30

SCOTIABANK THEATRE WEM WEM, 8882-170 St, 780.444.2400

HOP (G) No passes FRI�SUN 11:30, 2:10, 4:40, 7:10, 9:30; MON�THU 1:15, 4:15, 7:10, 9:30

SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence) Ultraavx, No passes FRI�SUN 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 10:15; MON�THU 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:30, 10:15 INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recommended for children) No passes DAILY 1:45, 4:45, 7:50, 10:45

SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence)

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) Digital Cinema FRI�SUN 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45; MON�THU 2:15, 5:00, 7:45, 10:30

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) FRI�SUN 1:50,

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G) FRI�SUN 11:45, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20, 9:40; MON�THU 1:50, 4:50, 7:20, 9:40

9:50; MON�THU 7:05, 9:35

No passes FRI�SUN 1:20, 4:10, 7:10, 9:45; MON�THU 7:10, 9:45

4:30, 7:30, 10:15; MON�THU 7:20, 10:00

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G) Digital Cinema FRI�SUN 11:40, 2:05, 4:30, 7:00, 9:40; MON�THU 7:00, 9:40

LIMITLESS (14A) FRI�SUN 1:00, 3:45, 6:45, 9:30; MON�THU 6:45, 9:30

SUCKER PUNCH: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE (14A violence) FRI�SUN 11:30, 2:15, 5:00, 7:45, 10:30; MON� THU 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45 LIMITLESS (14A) Digital Cinema FRI�TUE,THU

12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 10:00; WED 3:50, 6:50, 10:00; Star & Strollers Screening WED 1:00

PAUL (14A language may offend) FRI�SUN 1:40,

PAUL (14A language may offend) DAILY 1:10, 4:10,

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) Digital Cinema

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) FRI�TUE,THU 12:40,

4:20, 7:35, 10:10; MON�THU 7:15, 10:00

FRI�SUN 1:10, 4:00, 6:55, 9:55; MON�THU 6:55, 9:50

7:15, 10:20

GNOMEO AND JULIET 3D (G) FRI�SUN 12:30, 2:35;

BATTLE LOS ANGELES (14A violence) FRI�SUN

3:40, 6:40, 9:50; WED 3:40, 6:40, 9:50; Star & Strollers Screening WED 1:00

THE KING'S SPEECH (PG language may offend)

RED RIDING HOOD (PG violence, frightening

BATTLE LOS ANGELES (14A violence) Digital Cinema DAILY 1:30, 4:30, 7:40, 10:40

THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: LUCIA DI LAM� MERMOOR ENCORE(Classification not available)

RANGO (PG) Digital Cinema FRI�SUN 1:15, 4:05,

WWE WRESTLEMANIA XXVII � 2011 (Classifica-

guage) FRI�SUN 1:35, 7:25; MON�THU 7:25

MON�THU 1:15

FRI�SUN 4:40, 7:50, 10:25; MON�THU 3:30, 6:45, 9:25

SAT 11:00

tion not available) SUN 5:00

LORD OF THE DANCE 3D (G) Digital 3D

THU 7:00

CITY CENTRE 9 10200-102 Ave, 780.421.7020

SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence)

Dolby Stereo Digital, Stadium Seating DAILY 12:30, 2:55, 5:30, 8:00, 10:25

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) No passes,

Stadium Seating, Dolby Stereo Digital DAILY 12:00, 3:00, 7:00, 10:00

PAUL (14A language may offend) Dolby Stereo

Digital FRI�SUN,TUE,THURS 12:05, 2:45, 5:20, 7:55, 10:30; MON 12:05, 2:45, 7:55, 10:30; WED 12:05, 2:45, 10:30

INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recom-

1:30, 4:15, 7:15, 10:05; MON�THU 7:15, 9:55

scenes) FRI�SUN 4:20, 10:00; MON�THU 10:05 6:50, 9:25; MON�THU 6:50, 9:25

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG coarse lan-

8712-109 St, 780.433.0728

OF GODS AND MEN (14A) DAILY 6:50, 9:10; SAT�SUN 2:00

GRANDIN THEATRE�ST ALBERT Grandin Mall, Sir Winston Churchill Ave, St Albert, 780.458.9822

RANGO (PG) DAILY 12:50, 2:50, 4:50, 6:55, 8:55 SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) No passes DAILY

12:45, 2:55, 5:00, 7:05, 9:05

TANGLED (G) DAILY 1:05 MARS NEEDS MOMS (PG) DAILY 3:10 PAUL (14A language may offend) DAILY 5:05, 7:10, 9:10

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G)

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (R brutal violence)

HOP (G) DAILY 1:20, 3:20, 5:15, 7:20, 9:20

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

RED RIDING HOOD (PG violence, frightening scenes) DAILY 1:20, 7:15

RANGO (PG) Digital Cinema FRI�THU 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:20

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG coarse language)

FRI�THU 4:20, 10:10

GARNEAU

mended for children) Dolby Stereo Digital, Digital Presentation, Stadium Seating DAILY 12:15, 2:50, 5:25, 8:00, 10:35

Stadium Aeating, Dolby Stereo Digital DAILY 12:15, 2:35, 5:00, 7:20

20 // FILM

4211-139 Ave, 780.472.7600

BATTLE LOS ANGELES (14A violence) FRI�SUN

HOP (G) Digital Cinema, No passes FRI�SAT 12:00,

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: RODRICK RULES (G)

DAILY 12:45, 3:20, 6:55, 9:55

CLAREVIEW 10

GNOMEO AND JULIET 3D (G) DAILY 12:10 ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (STC)

INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recomSUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) Digital Cinema DAILY 2:00, 5:00, 7:40, 10:20

(G) Stadium Seating, DTS Digital DAILY 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10

RANGO (PG) FRI�SUN 1:15, 4:00, 6:30, 9:05; MON�

4:20, 7:10, 10:00

WED 7:00

mended for children) Digital Cinema, No passes DAILY 1:45, 4:40, 7:50, 10:30

Digital, Stadium Seating FRI�SUN,TUE�THU 12:50, 3:40, 6:50, 9:50; MON 12:50, 3:40, 9:50

JUST GO WITH IT (PG crude content) DAILY 1:10,

HOP (G) No passes DAILY 12:00, 2:20, 4:50, 7:15, 9:45 SOURCE CODE (PG coarse language, violence) Ultraavx, No passes DAILY 12:20, 2:40, 5:10, 7:45, 10:15

guage) Stadium Seating, DTS Digital DAILY 9:40

No passes DAILY 1:00, 3:00, 4:55, 7:00, 8:50

HALL PASS (14A nudity, crude sexual content, substance abuse) FRI,MON�TUE 2:00, 5:10, 8:00, 10:45; SAT 5:10, 8:00, 10:45; SUN 1:00, 10:45; WED�THU 1:00, 3:30, 10:45

THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: LUCIA DI LAM� MERMOOR ENCORE (Classification not available)

SAT 11:00

WWE WRESTLEMANIA XXVII � 2011 (Classification not available) SUN 5:00

WETASKIWIN CINEMAS Wetaskiwin, 780.352.3922

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (14A) DAILY 9:25 PAUL (14A language may offend) DAILY 7:05; SAT� SUN 1:05, 3:30

INSIDIOUS (14A frightening scenes, not recommended for children) DAILY 7:10, 9:30; SAT�SUN 1:10, 335

SUCKER PUNCH (14A violence) DAILY 6:55, 9:25;

SAT�SUN 12:55, 3:25

HOP (G) DAILY 7:00, 9:20; SAT�SUN 1:00, 3:20


MUSIC

Braids and beauty

Native Speaker elevates shared experience into common tongue

Sharing the experience Mary Christa O'Keefe // marychrista@vueweekly.com

'I

had this moment in January when the album was getting a lot of reviews," Braids' vocalist/guitarist Raphaelle Standelle-Preston recalls. "Our manager sent us two he thought were good, but were actually ripping us apart! I was upset, thinking, 'Jeez, the art I'm making is making people feel like this and bringing about this kind of emotion in them, and I feel bad!' It was the first real opposition I'd gotten to the art we were making. So I went for a long winter walk and came across this beautiful skating rink in a park, this moat around a little building, and there was this little girl skating with her mother. The girl was saying: 'Mama, Mama! Je t'aime! Je t'aime!' I just looked up and the sky and went, 'Please, whatever's up there, bless me with the ability to share this beauty with other people through my art, so I can capture this moment that's affecting me so deeply, please-pleaseplease-please!' I just clasped my hands together and talked to something out there. In the past, music was an outlet for me and my emotions, but now I'm older and I feel more wise in my

ability to craft things of beauty for people, and that's really important to me now, to comment on the beauty of the world." If the world offers pearlescent moments to Standelle-Preston, she's got her antennae up for them. As she fields questions from a porch in Los Angeles, where the MontrĂŠal-based band is recuperating from SXSW, an old mute woman on a bicycle interrupts, pointing at the sun and gesticulating. Standelle-Preston, bemused, sweetly embarks on a brief, mystifying conversation with the interloper. She gives the moment its due, with grace and open-heartedness. You can hear that approach in Braids' debut, Native Speaker, recently released by Flemish Eye ("I feel lucky to be on that label," she notes, "to be part of that community; the fact they're from our hometown and we've been in awe of them since we were 15.") The album is a study in beauty, in all its richness and emotional fidelity, fine-graining both the ephemeral and enduring in sonic amber. The music's precisely wrought and produced, yet verges on the ecstatic. When Standelle-Preston breathes "I feel good" on

the title track, you believe it. "The lines I'll sing or play usually come about because it feels good," she laughs. "For me, it's not intellectualized in the least. It's very physical. The album is very sensual and visceral and talks about the physicalities of love and living. Writing with Braids is a collective, organic process. It's very democratic; it takes a long time. It all stems from something feeling really good and then all of us feeling that at the very same moment and then writing something." Braids' act of creation is a thoroughly collective moment that the band attempts to broaden to the audience when playing live. "Bringing people together to share in an experience is really important to me," Standelle-Preston offers. "There's a strong, unspoken energy there you can't get anywhere else except when you have a group of people who are all really excited, really loving the same thing." V Thu, Mar 31 (7 pm) Braids With Guests Pawn Shop, $8

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

MUSIC // 21


Jake Ian & The Haymakers Sat, Apr 2 (8 pm) With Michael Dunn, the Moanin' After, the River City Rat Band DV8 Tavern, $12 (includes copy of Honey I Lost My Way)

As both a bandmember and a solo artist, Ian has seemingly used his guitar as a way of testing just what those six strings are really capable of. He's jammed through the simpler, aggressive power-chords of punk (in the longstanding, now-defunct punk act PiND), plucked and picked his way around folk as a solo artist and now, it seems, is strumming his way through the upbeat sounds of country music. To hear him tell it, that country pulse in his forthcoming album, Honey I Lost My Way, is just another natural progression in sound. "It's always evolving," goes his own simple summary of his genre-hopping musical tastes. "After PiND, I started writing a lot of songs by myself on the acoustic guitar. And I mean, that's kind of folk music right there,

22 // MUSIC

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

it's hard to play anything else by yourself on an acoustic guitar—you can play other stuff, but you know what I mean. I've always enjoyed that type of music." Honey I Lost My Way follows 2009's An Awful Sky, which used the talents of 10 different session players, but left nobody lasting. Perhaps that's why the country flavour seems natural to Ian: he's simply taking stock of a finally solidified backing band's various strengths—dubbed the Haymakers, his new bandmates are Fat Dave Johnston

on guitar (a solo artist in his own right), drummer Shane Oranchuk and Tony Mellor on upright bass. "This album's a lot ... I don't want to say heavier," he explains, "but it's a fast album. It's an upbeat album. It's a lot more upbeat than the last one. "When we all started playing together, it started sounding really country, and I was liking how it was sounding, so we decided to take it in that direction." PAUL BLINOV

// PAUL@vueweekly.com


FIRSTS, LASTS AND FAVOURITES

THE CITY STREETS

EDEN MUNRO // EDEN@vueweekly.com

SAT, APR 2 (7 PM), TEDDY'S

Singer/guitarist Rick Reid's firsts, lasts and favourites: First album

Tom Petty, Greatest Hits

Last concert

Mark Kozalek, Lee's Palace, Toronto

Favourite album First concert

Bryan Adams

An impossible question ... but maybe Loveless, My Bloody Valentine

STATS:

• The Edmonton-born Half Cut morphed into the Edmonton-raised-hell-raisers the City Streets • Moved to Montréal in 2010 • Three full-lengths and an EP to the band's name • Latest is the acoustic-based Peacemaker, featuring Myrol • Seemingly perpetually on the road

Guilty pleasure Last album

Robyn, Body Talk Part 1

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

I'm not actually guilty about any pleasures I partake in, but perhaps a fondness for Taylor Swift is a little embarrassing.

MUSIC // 23


MUSICNOTES The Liptonians / Thu, Mar 31 (4:30 pm) and Fri, Apr 1 (8 pm) "Let's All March Back Into The Sea" might seem curious as a tour name for a band from Winnipeg—one of the farthest points from any of the the three oceans that border Canada. Nonetheless, I'm sure the Liptonians will give it the old college try. (Mar 31: NAIT Nest, free; Apr 1: Haven Social Club, $12 – $15)

Protest the Hero / Fri, Apr 1 (6 pm) The band's third album, Scurrilous, is just out and is receiving good reviews, and Whitby, Ontario's Protest the Hero will ride that wave of positivity through Edmonton on April Fools' Day. (Avenue Theatre, $18.50)

Rebel / Fri, Apr 1 (8 pm) Although you may think that Rebel is some sort of motorbikin' punk-rock gang, it's actually one of the most accomplished

BRYAN BIRTLES // BRYAN@vueweekly.com

Baroque music ensembles in the world. Founded in the Netherlands in 1991, the group is now based in New York City and can boast about being the most broadcast Baroque ensemble ever. (Convocation Hall, $10 – $30)

Sasquatch Hall Party / Fri, Apr 1 (8 pm) A fundraiser to help the Sasquatch Gathering recoup its losses and hold the upcoming Sasquatch Gathering in the black. The fundraiser features Dale Ladouceur, Johnny Quazar & the Swingbots and more. No word yet on whether the Sasquatch will make an appearance, though word is that he's been invited. (Pleasantview Hall, $12)

My Chemical Romance / Tue, Apr 5 (7 pm) With My Chemical Romance not planning to release its new album until November, fans of the band can be forgiven for having ants in their pants. Never fear, however, because the group will roll through town playing at least a few new songs—the curiouslynamed single "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)" is already available—and whetting appetites for the album. (Edmonton Event Centre, $38)

PEACE / Sat, Apr 2 (9 pm) Weird Canada presents the LP release for Edmonton ex-pats PEACE. The new album is called My Face and comes on the heels of the group's well-recieved EP, Slow Children. On a scale of Donny Osmond to Tiny Tim, how weird is PEACE? (Pawn Shop)

WEIRD SCALE

PEACE NOT SO WEIRD 24 // MUSIC

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

REALLY WEIRD


VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

MUSIC // 25


NEWSOUNDS Kurt Vile Smoke Ring For My Halo (Matador) 

We Are The City High School (Independent) 

Acoustic strings ring out delicately and damaged—a buzz here or a squeak there is never covered up, left in an unaltered state that breathes life into "Baby's Arms," the opener on Smoke Ring For My Halo. Beneath the guitar are swells of ambient noise, and somewhere in the middle is Kurt Vile's voice, hazy as it settles into the mix. The lo-fi feel is indicative of the record as a whole, though Vile tries to stretch the songs out of any comfort zone: "Puppet For the Man," while still just above languid in its tempo, turns on a sense of urgency wrought by the pump of a solid beat built of electric guitars and the desperation that tinges Vile's voice as he sings, "I bet by now you probably think I'm a puppet to the man / Well I shout it out loud because I know that I am." There are no outright misses here, but it's clear that Vile could stand to either dip into those variations a little more or simply cut a few numbers from the track list: there's a tendency for the melodies and progressions to begin to run together. Still, the overall result here is moving, and Vile's shown himself to be a strong songwriter who just needs to focus his energies a little more.

A short-but-diverse blast of progressive pop, We Are The City's High School takes six songs and spawns a mini-concept album about the time spent in eponymous educational institution. It feels epic, but innocent, rooted in the big feelings of the moment rather than looking back with more tempered hindsight. Opener "Get Happy" feels like a laboured trudge, drums starting at a near march, then dropping back to let a more subtle, repetitive piano carry the weight of vocalist Cayne McKenzie's suspicions, eventually collapsing in a rush of keyboards and drums. Unlike that, "Happy New Year" actually shares its eponymous sentiment, with a mischievous guitar line and lyrics like: "No, I'm not waiting here for anyone / Especially not Jessica" that builds into a joyous rallying chorus. Darker tones permeate the rest of the EP with the anxieties of those formative years in high school hallways, a mix of quiet calms and blasts of aggressive noise. What High School does well is capture the feelings of a time and a place and a psychology textbook's worth of messy adolescent feelings within the confines of nimble pop.

// eden@vueweekly.com

// paul@vueweekly.com

Eden Munro

Paul Blinov

El Waxo & Indiano Cojones The Birmingham Urban Folk Parody (Acidsoxx Musicks) 

El Waxo is one of these niche conversational British pseudo-rappers. Comparisons to the Streets are unavoidable. His content is cheeky and sociopolitical, slurred through his thick Birmingham accent, redolent of classic punk premises. The beat production on The Birmingham Urban Folk Parody is the real highlight, though. Combining a deluge of genres (the album is an hour and 13 minutes long), he manages to reinterpret a lot of his samples in an original way. Because of El Waxo's one dimensional style of rapping, the album grows quite monotonous, but songs like "6AM" and "Astronaught" are too impressive to be overlooked. Joe Gurba

// joe@vueweekly.com

Easy Star All-Stars First Light (Easy Star) 

A trip full of ups and downs, the first full-length record of original material from Easy Star AllStars—the collective is most famous for its reggae reworkings of Pink Floyd, the Beatles and Radiohead—is a noble effort but it doesn't hold together as a whole: right from the start the opening track, "Don't Stop the Music," falls flat, only for the next, "Break of Dawn," to offer some redemption and kick off a pattern of peaks and valleys. Everything on the album is both expertly played and produced, but it's all so slick that it's easy to wonder whether a little more grit—maybe a horn that drifts in and out a little more rather than sitting perfectly within the mix, or a guitar that sounds a little more choppy—might serve the group well. Eden Munro

// eden@vueweekly.com

Layne L'Heureux 'New' (Old Ugly) 

At times impenetrable, at times a jangly-folk sing-along, Layne L'Heureux's 'New' mines the corners of lo-fi, searching for the brilliance inside the fog. On a song like "I Knew," where his voice floats above the minimalist acoustic guitar, his approach works well, but when his best asset is buried under wails of noise, as it is on the first track, "Torture," he drifts some. He can succeed with noisier stuff— "Eater" ably proves that—but the music requires a better sense of balance at times. Bryan Birtles

// bryan@vueweekly.com

26 // MUSIC

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011


QUICKSPINS WHITEY HOUSTON

// QUICKSPINS@vueweekly.com

OLDSOUNDS BRYAN BIRTLES

The Albertans New Age (Ernest Jenning)

// BRYAN@vueweekly.com

Sugary sweetness But not much on the inside ... Like an Aero bar

Various artists 2011 Juno Awards (Universal) Waving Flag again? I'd think I'd prefer to be Tazed in the nutsack

.

Teddy Thompson Bella (Verve Forecast) Slightly annoying And yet pretty much harmless Like airport X-rays

Kevin Fox Set Right (Independent) Airy string-based pop Proves there is always room for C-E-L-L-O

Five reasons Bob Dylan is, without a doubt, the coolest 1) He invented the idea of the cool, aloof rock star. You know how cool and untouchable people like Mick Jagger, Kurt Cobain, Karen O, Leonard Cohen and Lady Gaga seem? You know how it always feels like they lead lives you couldn't comprehend, let alone duplicate? Dylan invented that. He took the smarts, fire and reticence of a poet like Rimbaud and exploded them into the postwar, mass-media environment. Before Dylan, you know what rock stars were like? Mama's boys. Think of guys like Elvis, Little Richard, Carl Perkins—the guys who invented rock 'n' roll. Those guys are just excitable good ol' boys who love their mamas compared to Dylan. Does Dylan even have a mama? 2) Dylan has won more Grammys since he won a lifetime achievement award than he did before. In 1991 the Grammys saw fit to award Bob Dylan a lifetime achievement award for his contributions to music. Fair enough, right? By that time he had already been inducted to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame—he did it in 1988, introduced by Springsteen, natch—and his work, especially during the mid-'60s, has long been considered classic. But the weird part is, Dylan had won three Grammys before 1991, and he's won seven since. And not piddly awards either: in 1998 he won Album of the Year for Time Out of Mind. That's the Grammys' most prestigious award—and he got it after the Grammys had decided his entire oeuvre deserved recognition. 3) Bob Dylan doesn't care what you think. He plugged in at Newport. He refused to

be the spokesman for a generation that everyone wanted him to be and people loved him more for it—you know that song "It Ain't Me Babe"? That's addressed to you. He's been on tour almost nonstop since the late-'80s. Most of his shows these days are ragged, confusing affairs for both Dylan and the audience: he mumbles; he plays keyboard instead of guitar; he doesn't play any harmonica; people leave wondering, "What the hell just happened?" Dylan couldn't be bothered to put in the effort it would take to give less of a shit. 4) There's no "old Dylan" and "new Dylan." There is only Dylan. Bob Dylan exists on a continuum the way other artists exist as dualities. There's skinny Elvis and fat Elvis, old Metallica and new Metallica, creepy Gene Simmons and creepier Gene Simmons, drug-dealing Jay-Z and guy-who-talks-incessantly-about-drugdealing Jay-Z. Dylan exists at different times in different places, like atomic particles. There's Woody Guthrie Dylan, revolutionary Dylan, plugged-in Dylan, Christian Dylan, Jewish Dylan, little-moustache-andfunny-hat Dylan. None of these guises is or isn't Dylan, you dig? 5) Bob Dylan is one of the most-covered artists of all time. Being cool isn't a popularity contest, but being popular can't hurt. If you've been covered by artists as disparate as Jimi Hendrix, Sam Cooke, Rage Against the Machine, the Byrds and the Ramones, you gotta be doing something right. V

LoonieBin Shuyler Jansen "Falcons Wing (Hellhounds Return)"

Patrick Lehman The Electric Soul Kitchen Vol I (Justin Time)

A fine balance between an acoustic heart and a noisy, disturbing soul trapped deep within, Jansen weaves a satisfying apocalyptic tale. It's a standout track on a record full of them.

Talented crooner Might get swamped by impending Wave of vaginas

Duran Duran Safe (In the Heat of the Moment)

Colin James Take it from the top: The best of (EMI) Well this brings me back Have you not made enough cash Ass-raping the blues?

The world would be a better place if only every aging musician could stay true to their music while managing to update the sound without whiplashing back and forth with every passing trend. Oh, well, at least we have Duran Duran's perfectly respectable and damn fun collaboration with Mark Ronson.

Vue staff

The Kills "Satellite"

It's not reggae, but it takes the classic groove and pummels and mutates it into something of its own, blocking out the sunshine and replacing it with noirish shadows, adding a layer of paranoia and providing a veil of smoke by lighting a match and tossing it into the gasoline. Disturbing, and fantastic.

Radioeds "Creep"

The staff of the Guardian newspaper covers Radiohead's "Creep." It should be terrible, right? But it's most definitely not. It's not a total rewrite of the song, but the players actually do a little something new with it and take the music to a place worth visiting. (bit.ly/creepyguardian)

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

MUSIC // 27


MUSIC WEEKLY FAX YOUR FREE LISTINGS TO 780.426.2889 OR EMAIL LISTINGS@VUEWEEKLY.COM DEADLINE: FRIDAY AT 3PM

THU MAR 31 28 DEGREES 5552 Calgary Tr Experimental improvisation with Steven Johnson and his 12-string guitar with guest musicians. Bring your instruments every Thu ACCENT EUROPEAN LOUNGE Caleb Caswell and Sister Gray (jazz, indie); 9:30pm-11:30pm; no minors; no cover BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Songwriter Circle: hosted by Erica Viegas; 8pm; $10 BLUES ON WHYTE JK and the Static BRIXX BAR Sound Salesman, The Unknown Culprits and Our Sound Machine; 8pm; $10(door)

Reggae, Dancehall, Ska, Calypso, and Soca with Topwise Soundsystem CENTURY ROOM Lucky 7: Retro '80s with house DJ every Thu; 7pm-close CHROME LOUNGE 123 Ko every Thu THE COMMON So Necessary: Hip hop, classic hip hop, funk, soul, r&b, '80s, oldies and everything in between with Sonny Grimezz, Shortround, Twist every Thu CROWN PUB Bass Head Thursdays: Drum and Bass DJ night, 9pm DRUID IRISH PUB DJ every Thu; 9pm ELECTRIC RODEO�Spruce Grove DJ every Thu FILTHY MCNASTY’S Punk Rock Bingo every Thu with DJ S.W.A.G.

CARROT CAFÉ Zoomers Thu afternoon open mic; 1-4pm

FLUID LOUNGE Thirsty Thursdays: Electro breaks Cup; no cover all night

THE DOCKS Thu night rock and metal jam

FUNKY BUDDHA�Whyte Ave Requests every Thu with DJ Damian

DRUID IRISH PUB DJ every Thu at 9pm

HALO Fo Sho: every Thu with Allout DJs DJ Degree, Junior Brown

DV8 Acoustic Chaos Thursdays: bring your guitars, basses, drums, whatever and play some tunes; Hot Blood Bombers, Black Thunder and Bad Acid; 9pm-2am

KAS BAR Urban House: every Thu with DJ Mark Stevens; 9pm

EDMONTON EVENT CENTRE Mother Mother; 7pm HAVEN SOCIAL CLUB Katie Murphy; 8pm; $10 J AND R Open jam rock 'n' roll; every Thu; 9pm JEFFREY'S CAFÉ Kathleen Kelly with special guest Johnnie Ninetynine; $10 L.B.'S PUB Open jam with Kenny Skoreyko, Fred Larose and Gordy Mathews (Shaved Posse) every Thu; 9pm-1am MARYBETH'S COFFEE HOUSE�Beaumont Open mic every Thu; 7pm NAKED CYBER CAFÉ Open stage every Thu, 9pm; no cover NEST�NAIT Indie Night at the Nest: The Liptonians, Flying Fox, The Hunter Gatherers; 4:30pm NEW CITY LEGION Ben Disaster & Band; $5; no minors NORTH GLENORA HALL Jam by Wild Rose Old Time Fiddlers every Thu PAWN SHOP Braids, Mass Choir, Cygnets; 8-11pm REXALL PLACE Se7en Sided at the Oil Kings game RIC’S GRILL Peter Belec (jazz); most Thursdays; 7-10pm RUSTY REED'S HOUSE OF BLUES Donald Ray Hohnson; $5 SECOND CUP�Varscona Live music every Thu night; 7-9pm WILD BILL’S�Red Deer TJ the DJ every Thu and Fri; 10pm-close WILD WEST SALOON Sara Beth Keeley Mar 31-Apr 2 WUNDERBAR Sans Aids, Service:Fair and Bus Accident; $5

Classical WINSPEAR Centre Salif Keita; 8pm; $42

DJs 180 DEGREES DJ every Thu BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor: Tight Jams: every Thu with Mike B and Brosnake; Wooftop Lounge: various musical flavas including Funk, Indie Dance/Nu Disco, Breaks, Drum and Bass, House with DJ Gundam; Underdog: Dub,

28 // MUSIC

LEVEL 2 LOUNGE Funk Bunker Thursdays LUCKY 13 Sin Thu with DJ Mike Tomas ON THE ROCKS Salsaholic: every Thu; dance lessons at 8pm; salsa DJ to follow OVERTIME�Downtown Thursdays at Eleven: Electronic Techno and Dub Step RENDEZVOUS Metal night every Thu SPORTSWORLD Roller Skating Disco: Thu Retro Nights; 7-10:30pm; sports-world.ca TAPHOUSE�St Albert Eclectic mix every Thu with DJ Dusty Grooves UNION HALL 123 Thursdays WILD BILL’S�Red Deer TJ the DJ every Thu and Fri; 10pm-close

FRI APR 1 AVENUE THEATRE Protest the Hero, Maylene, The Sons of Disaster; all ages; 6pm (door); tickets at unionevents.com BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Arunchal Subramanian, Alicia Glenn; 8pm; $10 BLUES ON WHYTE JK and the Static; Wild T & the Spirit BRIXX BAR Fire Next Time, Larry and His Flask and guests; 9pm; $12 (door) CARROT Live music every Fri; all ages; 7pm; $5 (door) CASINO EDMONTON Suite 33 April 1 & 2 CASINO YELLOWHEAD X-Change April 1 & 2 CENTURY CASINO April Wine; $44.95 COAST TO COAST Open stage every Fri; 9:30pm THE COMMON Step In The Name of Love - The R&B Jam: 1 Year Anniversary w/ DJ's Instigate, Shortround, Sonny Grimezz, & Twist; 9pm; $5(door) DV8 SKA show: Utopian Skank and The Hanger; 9pm EARLY STAGE SALOON Tim Hus with Billy Macinnes from Stompin' Toms Band; Apr 1-2; $10 EDMONTON EVENT CENTRE Act A Fool: The Glitch Mob, A Skillz, Drop The Lime, Doorly, Breakage , TC, Fort Knox 5, Subvert, Nadastrom, Nasty Nasty, Knight Riderz, Shamick, and more; $37-$85 EMPIRE BALLROOM Spencer and Hill

EXPRESSIONZ CAFÉ Open Stage; featuring Bobby Poitras (Steel Guitar Extraordinaire); 6:30 (doors); Free (members)/$4 (non-members)

8pm (door); no cover before 10pm

Release Show; 9pm

BUFFALO UNDERGROUND R U Aware Friday: Featuring Neon Nights

FRESH START BISTRO Kyler Schoger and friends (Blues, funk, rock); 7-10pm; $10

CHROME LOUNGE Platinum VIP every Fri

EARLY STAGE SALOON�Stony Plain Tim Hus with Billy Macinnes from Stompin' Toms Band; Apr 1-2; $10

GAS PUMP The Uptown Jammers (house band); every Fri; 5:30-9pm HAVEN SOCIAL CLUB The Whitsundays with The Liptonians and David Shepherd; 8pm; $12 (adv)/$15(door)

THE COMMON Boom The Box: every Fri; nu disco, hip hop, indie, electro, dance with weekly local and visiting DJs on rotation plus residents Echo and Shortround THE DRUID IRISH PUB DJ every Fri; 9pm

IRISH CLUB Jam session every Fri; 8pm; no cover

ELECTRIC RODEO�Spruce Grove DJ every Fri

JEFFREY'S CAFÉ Ashley Theberge (jazz/pop/folk); $10

FLUID LOUNGE Hip hop and dancehall; every Fri

JEKYLL AND HYDE PUB Headwind (classic pop/rock); every Fri; 9pm; no cover

FUNKY BUDDHA�Whyte Ave Top tracks, rock, retro with DJ Damian; every Fri

LIZARD LOUNGE Rock 'n' roll open mic every Fri; 8:30pm; no cover

GAS PUMP DJ Christian; every Fri; 9:30pm-2am

MUTTART HALL Carnatic Violin Trio Vittal Ramamurthy, Padma Shankar and Aarti Shankar accompanied by Neyveli Narayanan on Mrudangam; 7pm; $20(general), $15(students/seniors), free(RagaMala members)

JUNCTION BAR AND EATERY LGBT Community: Rotating DJs Fri and Sat; 10pm

EDDIE SHORTS Saucy Wenches every Sat EDMONTON EVENT CENTRE Reckless and Relentless Tour: Asking Alexandria, Emmure, Chiodos, Miss May I, EverGreen (hard rock/metal); all ages; 5pm (door) FILTHY MCNASTY'S Daryl Matthews & Samara Von Rad; no cover FORT EDMONTON PARK Spring Fling: Jack Semple and his Band; 6:3pm

HOOLIGANZ Live music every Sat

JOHN L. HAAR THEATRE MacEwan Music Concert Series: Songwriters’ Concert; tickets at TIX on the Square

ON THE ROCKS '50s and '60s Theme Party: Lean Machine

REDNEX�Morinville DJ Gravy from the Source 98.5 every Fri

O’BYRNE’S Live band every Sat, 3-7pm; DJ every Sat, 9:30pm

PAWN SHOP Stone Iris with JFR Project and California Lane Change; 9pm; $8(adv)

RED STAR Movin’ on Up: indie, rock, funk, soul, hip hop with DJ Gatto, DJ Mega Wattson; every Fri

ON THE ROCKS Mourning Wood

PLEASANTVIEW HALL Sasquatch Fundraiser & April Fools Hall Party Dale Ladouceur, Johnny Quazar & the Swingbots cash bar and more; 8pm(door), 9pm(music); $8(adv at Blackbyrd)/$12(door)

ROUGE LOUNGE Solice Fri

SECOND CUP � SHERWOOD PARK The Alberta Playboys STARLITE ROOM Tupelo Honey CD Release with The Flash Jam and White Lightning; 9pm; $10 at Primeboxoffice.com and Blackbyrd WILD BILL’S�Red Deer TJ the DJ every Thu and Fri; 10pm-close WILD WEST SALOON Sara Beth Keeley Mar 31-Apr 2 WINSPEAR CENTRE Bruce Cockburn; 8pm; $42 WOK BOX Breezy Brian Gregg every Fri; 3:30-5:30pm WUNDERBAR Roast Of Charlie Scream with The Give 'Em Hell Boys and Whiskey Wagon; $5 YARDBIRD SUITE Edmonton Jazz Society: The Origins Ensemble Night of Latin Jazz

Classical CONVOCATION HALL Edmonton Chamber Music Society: Rebel (quartet); 8pm; $30 (adult)/$20 (senior)/$10 (student) at door, TIX on the Square, Gramophone HORIZON STAGE 1001 Calahoo Rd, Spruce Grove, 780.962.8995 Jasper Wood (violin); 7:30pm; $25 (adult)/$20 (student/senior)/$5 eyeGO at Horizon Stage box office, TicketMaster

DJs

TEMPLE Options with Greg Gory and Eddie Lunchpail; every Fri TREASURY In Style Fri: DJ Tyco and Ernest Ledi; no line no cover for ladies all night long UNION HALL Ladies Night every Fri VINYL DANCE LOUNGE Connected Las Vegas Fridays Y AFTERHOURS Foundation Fridays

SAT APR 2 ALBERTA BEACH HOTEL Open stage with Trace Jordan 1st and 3rd Sat; 7pm-12 ARTERY Capital City Burlesque presents the Super Duper Dress-Up Dance Party and Secret Fundraiser AVENUE THEATRE The Reckless and Relentless Tour feat. Asking Alexandria, Emmure, Chiodos, Miss May I, Evergreen Terrace, Lower Than Atlantis; 5pm; all ages BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Hair of the Dog: (live acoustic music every Sat); 4-6pm; no cover BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Ellen McIlwaine; 8pm; $20 BLUES ON WHYTE Every Sat afternoon: Jam with Back Door Dan; JK and the Static; Wild T & the Spirit BOHEMIA Kemo Treats, guests; 8pm BRIXX BAR Oh Snap presents Step'd Up Saturdays with Degree, Cool Beans, Specialist, Spenny B and Mr. Nice Guy and Ten 0; 9pm; Free before 10pm/$5 (after) CASINO EDMONTON Suite 33 April 1 & 2

180 DEGREES DJ every Fri AZUCAR PICANTE DJ Papi and DJ Latin Sensation every Fri BANK ULTRA LOUNGE Connected Fri: 91.7 The Bounce, Nestor Delano, Luke Morrison every Fri BAR�B�BAR DJ James; every Fri; no cover BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE DJs spin on the main floor every Fri; Underdog, Wooftop

CASINO YELLOWHEAD X-Change April 1 & 2 COAST TO COAST Live bands every Sat; 9:30pm THE COMMON Goodlife pres. Kenzie's Birthday Partay; 9pm CONVOCATION HALL Vector Rails + Evidence; 8pm; Free

BLACKSHEEP PUB Bash: DJ spinning retro to rock classics to current

CROWN PUB Acoustic blues open stage with Marshall Lawrence, every Sat, 2-6pm; Laid Back Saturday African Dance Party with DJ Collio, 12-2am

BUDDY’S DJ Arrow Chaser every Fri;

DV8 Jake Ian & The Haymakers CD

OVERTIME�Downtown Saturdays at Eleven: RNB, hip hop, reggae, Old School

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Sunday Funday: with Phil, 2-7pm; Sunday Night: Soul Sundays: '60s and '70s funk, soul, R&B with DJ Zyppy

PALACE CASINO Show Lounge DJ every Sat

SPORTSWORLD Roller Skating Disco every Sat; 1pm-4:30pm and 7-10:30pm

OVERTIME�Downtown Fridays at Eleven: Rock Hip hop country, Top forty, Techno

RUSTY REED'S HOUSE OF BLUES Donald Ray Johnson; $15; Apr 1-2

DJs

HILLTOP PUB Open stage/mic every Sat: hosted by Blue Goat; 3:30-6pm

NEW CITY The Secretaries, Maria in the Shower, Audio/Rocketry, George Ireland Rand; $10 (adv at Listen, Permanent, Freecloud, Blackbyrd)

RIVER CREE The B52'S; 8pm

NEW CITY LEGION Polished Chrome: every Sat with DJs Blue Jay, The Gothfather, Dervish, Anonymouse; no minors; free (5-8pm)/$5 (ladies)/$8 (gents after 8pm)

RED STAR Indie rock, hip hop, and electro every Sat with DJ Hot Philly and guests

JEFFREY'S CAFÉ Harpe Jazz (celtic jazz) feat. Terry McDade; $15

SUITE 69 Every Fri Sat with DJ Randall-A

WUNDERBAR Koyama; $5

HAVEN SOCIAL CLUB CD Release featuring Short of Able and Guests; 8pm; $10 (adv)

NEWCASTLE PUB House, dance mix every Fri with DJ Donovan

RED PIANO BAR Hottest dueling piano show featuring the Red Piano Players every Fri; 9pm-2am

NEWCASTLE PUB Top 40 requests every Sat with DJ Sheri

GAS PUMP Blues jam/open stage every Sat 3:30-7pm

IRON BOAR PUB Jazz in Wetaskiwin featuring jazz trios the 1st Sat each month; $10

SUEDE LOUNGE Juicy DJ spins every Fri

SECOND CUP�Mountain Equipment Co-op Live music every Sun; 2-4pm

PAWN SHOP SONiC Presents Live On Site! Anti-Club: rock, indie, punk, rock, dance, retro rock every Sat; 8pm (door)

LEVEL 2 LOUNGE Formula Fridays April Fools Day: Isaac Amor; 9:30pm

SPORTSWORLD Roller Skating Disco Fri Nights; 7-10:30pm; sports-world. ca

Community: Rotating DJs Fri and Sat; 10pm

PAWN SHOP Weird Canada Presents Peace with Sans AIDS and Jessica Jalbert and Guests; $10(door) QUEEN ALEXANDRA COMMUNITY HALL 10425 University Ave northernlightsfc.ca Northern Lights Folk Club: Lennie Gallant; $18 RED PIANO BAR Hottest dueling piano show featuring the Red Piano Players every Sat; 9pm-2am RUSTY REED'S HOUSE OF BLUES Donald Ray Johnson; $15; Apr 1-2 STARLITE ROOM The Union presents The Rural Alberta Advantage with Hooded Fang; 8pm; $20 at primeboxoffice.com and Blackbyrd WILD WEST SALOON Sara Beth Keeley Mar 31-Apr 2 WUNDERBAR The Sabrejets YARDBIRD SUITE Edmonton Jazz Society: 7zark7

Classical WINSPEAR U of A Mixed Chorus 67th Annual Spring Concert; 8pm

DJs 180 DEGREES Street VIBS: Reggae night every Sat AZUCAR PICANTE DJ Touch It, hosted by DJ Papi; every Sat BANK ULTRA LOUNGE Sold Out Sat: with DJ Russell James, Mike Tomas; 8pm (door); no line, no cover for ladies before 11pm BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE DJs on three levels every Sat: Main Floor: Menace Sessions: alt rock/ electro/trash with Miss Mannered; Underdog: DJ Brand-dee; Wooftop: Sound It Up!: classic Hip-Hop and Reggae with DJ Sonny Grimezz

BACKSTAGE TAP AND GRILL Industry Night: every Sun with Atomic Improv, Jameoki and DJ Tim

FLOW LOUNGE Stylus Sun SAVOY MARTINI LOUNGE Reggae on Whyte: RnR Sun with DJ IceMan; no minors; 9pm; no cover SPORTSWORLD Roller Skating Disco Sun; 1-4:30pm; sports-world.ca

MON APR 4 BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Sleeman Mon: live music monthly; no cover

SUEDE LOUNGE DJ Nic-E spins every Sat

BLUES ON WHYTE Consonance; Apr 3-5

SUITE 69 Every Fri Sat with DJ Randall-A

DEVANEY'S IRISH PUB Singer/ songwriter open stage every Mon; 8pm

TEMPLE Oh Snap! Oh Snap with Degree, Cobra Commander, Battery, Jake Roberts, Ten-O, Cool Beans, Hotspur Pop and P-Rex; every Sat UNION HALL Celebrity Saturdays: every Sat hosted by Ryan Maier

JOHN L. HAAR THEATRE MacEwan Music Concert Series: MacEwan Music Big Band Concert (Grant MacEwan University and U of A Big Bands); tickets at TIX on the Square

VINYL DANCE LOUNGE Signature Saturdays

KELLY'S PUB Open stage every Mon; hosted by Clemcat Hughes; 9pm

Y AFTERHOURS Release Saturdays

PLEASANTVIEW COMMUNITY HALL Acoustic instrumental old time fiddle jam every Mon; hosted by the Wild Rose Old Tyme Fiddlers Society; 7pm

SUN APR 3 BEER HUNTER�St Albert Open stage/jam every Sun; 2-6pm BLACKJACK'S ROADHOUSE�Nisku Open mic every Sun hosted by Tim Lovett BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ Sun Brunch: Jim Findlay Trio; 10:30am-2pm; donations BLUES ON WHYTE Consonance; Apr 3-5 BLUE PEAR RESTAURANT Jazz on the Side Sun; Marc Beaudin; 6pm; $25 if not dining CROWN PUB Sun; Band War 2011/ Battle of the bands, 6-10pm; Open Stage with host Better Us Than Strangers, 10pm-1am DEVANEY’S IRISH PUB Celtic open stage every Sun with Keri-Lynne Zwicker; 5:30pm; no cover DOUBLE D'S Open jam every Sun; 3-8pm EDDIE SHORTS Acoustic jam every Sun; 9pm

ROSE BOWL/ROUGE LOUNGE Acoustic open stage every Mon; 9pm WUNDERBAR Mogli with Beyon, Good Measure, Rusty and Susie Winters; $5

Classical WINSPEAR Uiversity Symphony Orchestra; 8pm

DJs BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor: Blue Jay’s Messy Nest: every Mon with DJ Blue CROWN PUB Minefield Mondays/ House/Breaks/Trance and more with host DJ Pheonix, 9pm FILTHY MCNASTY'S Metal Mon: with DJ S.W.A.G. LUCKY 13 Industry Night every Mon with DJ Chad Cook NEW CITY LEGION Madhouse Mon: Punk/metal/etc with DJ Smart Alex

BALLROOM The Next Big Thing: (vocal/band), Dance showcase; Mixmaster (DJ); hottest talent search every Sun; until May 29

TUE APR 5

EXPRESSIONZ CAFÉ YEG live Sun Night Songwriters Stage; 7-10pm

DRUID IRISH PUB Open stage every Tue; with Chris Wynters with special guest Michael Dunn; 9pm

EXPRESSIONZ CAFÉ Country/ country rock Jam and Dance hosted by Mahkoos Merrier, 2nd Sun every month, 1-5pm, admission by donation; YEG live Sun Night Songwriters Stage; 7-10pm

BLUES ON WHYTE Consonance; Apr 3-5

EDMONTON EVENT CENTRE My Chemical Romance, Neon Trees, Architects; 7p (door); 8pm (show); Sold Out

HYDEAWAY Open stage jam every Sun

HAVEN SOCIAL CLUB Christina Martin and Claire Swanson w/ Caity Fisher and Heard on the Radio; $10

BLACKSHEEP PUB DJ every Sat

J AND R BAR Open jam/stage every Sun hosted by Me Next and the HaveNots; 3-7pm

L.B.’S Tue Blues Jam with Ammar; 9pm-1am

BUDDY'S Feel the rhythm every Sat with DJ Phon3 Hom3; 8pm (door); no cover before 10pm

JOHN L. HAAR THEATRE MacEwan Music Concert Series: Guitar Concert; tickets at TIX on the Square

BUFFALO UNDERGROUND Head Mashed In Saturday: Mashup Night

NEWCASTLE PUB Sun Soul Service (acoustic jam): Willy James and Crawdad Cantera; 3-6:30pm

DRUID IRISH PUB DJ every Sat; 9pm ELECTRIC RODEO�Spruce Grove DJ every Sat FLUID LOUNGE Intimate Saturdays: with DJ Aiden Jamali; 8pm (door) FUNKY BUDDHA�Whyte Ave Top tracks, rock, retro every Sat with DJ Damian

O’BYRNE’S Open mic every Sun; 9:30pm-1am ON THE ROCKS Seven Strings Sun: John Not Joan & Jason Kirkness ORLANDO'S 2 PUB Open stage jam every Sun; 4pm

GAS PUMP DJ Christian every Sat

PAWN SHOP The Flatliners with Living With Lions and Feast or Famine and Greater Than Giants

HALO For Those Who Know: house every Sat with DJ Junior Brown, Luke Morrison, Nestor Delano, Ari Rhodes

RITCHIE UNITED CHURCH 9624-74 Ave, 780.439.2442; Sandro Dominelli Trio; 3:30pm; collection at door

JUNCTION BAR AND EATERY LGBT

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

O’BYRNE’S Celtic jam every Tue; with Shannon Johnson and friends; 9:30pm PADMANADI Open stage every Tue; with Mark Davis; all ages; 7:3010:30pm R PUB Open stage jam every Tue; hosted by Gary and the Facemakers; 8pm EDMONTON EVENT CENTRE The Architects, My Chemical Romance (alt rock); all ages; 7pm; tickets at TicketMaster, LiveNation.com RUSTY REED'S HOUSE OF BLUES Big Rock Open Jam Moses Gregg, Grant Stovel with Special Guest SECOND CUP�124 Street Open mic every Tue; 8-10pm SECOND CUP�Stanley Milner


Library Open mic every Tue; 7-9pm SECOND CUP�Summerwood Open stage/open mic every Tue; 7:30pm; no cover SIDELINERS PUB All Star Jam every Tue; with Alicia Tait and Rickey Sidecar; 8pm SPORTSMAN'S LOUNGE Open stage every Tue; hosted by Paul McGowan; 9pm

BRIXX BAR Really Good… Eats and Beats: DJ Degree, friends every Wed; 6pm; $5

Wed every month; with Tim Harwill, guests; this week's guest Lionel Rault; 8-10pm

CENTURY GRILL Century Room Wed Live: featuring The Marco Claveria Project; 8-11pm

PLAYBACK PUB Open Stage every Wed hosted by JTB; 9pm-1am

CROWN PUB Dan Jam/open stage every Wed; 8pm-2am EDDIE SHORTS Acoustic jam every

PLEASANTVIEW COMMUNITY HALL Acoustic Bluegrass jam presented by the Northern Bluegrass Circle Music Society; Slow pitch for beginners on the 1st and 3rd Wed prior to regular jam

RetroActive Radio Wed: alt '80s and '90s, Post Punk, New Wave, Garage, Brit, Mod, Rock and Roll with LL Cool Joe; Wooftop: Soul/breaks with Dr Erick BRIXX BAR Really Good... Eats and Beats: every Wed with DJ Degree and Friends BUDDY'S DJ Dust 'n' Time every Wed; 9pm (door); no cover

WUNDERBAR HOFBRAUHAUS Stuesdays: Every Tue Wunderbar's only regular DJ night YARDBIRD SUITE Tue Night Sessions: ; 7:30pm (door), 8pm (show); $5 April 5 Bryan Sim Quartet

DJs BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor: alternative retro and not-so-retro every Tue; with Eddie Lunchpail; Wooftop: eclectic electronic sounds every Tue; with DJ Mike Duke BRIXX BAR Troubadour Tue: hosted by Sean Brewer and guests; 9pm; $8 BUDDYS DJ Arrow Chaser every Tue; free pool all night; 9pm (door); no cover CHROME LOUNGE Bashment Tue: Bomb Squad, The King QB, Rocky; no cover CROWN PUB Underground At The Crown: hip hop; open mic every Tue, 9pm-2am DV8 Creepy Tombsday: Psychobilly, Hallowe'en horrorpunk, deathrock with Abigail Asphixia and Mr Cadaver; every Tue FUNKY BUDDHA�Whyte Ave Latin and Salsa music every Tue; dance lessons 8-10pm NEW CITY LEGION High Anxiety Variety Society Bingo vs. karaoke with Ben Disaster, Anonymouse every Tue; no minors; 4pm-3am; no cover RED STAR Experimental Indie Rock, Hip Hop, Electro with DJ Hot Philly; every Tue WUNDERBAR HOFBRAUHAUS Stuesdays: Wunderbar's only regular DJ night every Tue

WED APR 6 AVENUE THEATRE Hellbound Hepcats Hellfire Special Buzz Elroy and his Hayseed Rockets; 7:30pm(doors); $10; no minors Apr 7 BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor: Glitter Gulch: live music once a month BLUES ON WHYTE Big Hank Lionhart and a Fist Full of Blues; Apr 6-9

The Flatliners / Sun, Apr 3 (8 pm) The Flatliners are dive-bar punk, not flat-iron punk. The band is all about busted transmissions and cracked knuckles, not Mesa Triple Recs and hair with blond streaks. If that's the kinda time you're looking for, you found it. (Pawn Shop, $10) Wed, 9pm; no cover ELEPHANT AND CASTLE�Whyte Ave Open mic every Wed (unless there's an Oilers game); no cover EXPRESSIONZ CAFÉ Open stage with Randall Walsh; every Wed; 7-11pm; admission by donation FIDDLER'S ROOST Little Flower Open Stage every Wed with Brian Gregg; 8pm-12 GOOD EARTH COFFEE HOUSE Breezy Brian Gregg every Wed; 12-1pm HAVEN SOCIAL CLUB Open stage every Wed with Jonny Mac, 8:30pm, free; Early Show! Featuring The Nix Dicksons with Behind Sapphire; 7pm

every Wed, 6.30pm; $2 (member)/$4 (non-member)

THE COMMON Treehouse Wednesday's

RED PIANO BAR Wed Night Live: hosted by dueling piano players; 8pm1am; $5

DIESEL ULTRA LOUNGE Wind-up Wed: R&B, hiphop, reggae, old skool, reggaeton with InVinceable, Touch It, weekly guest DJs

RIVER CREE Live rock band every Wed hosted by Yukon Jack; 7:30-9pm

LEGENDS PUB Hip hop/R&B with DJ Spincycle

RUSTY REED'S HOUSE OF BLUES Gordie Matthews Band

NEW CITY LEGION Wed Pints 4 Punks: with DJ Nick; no minors; 4pm-3am; no cover

SECOND CUP�Mountain Equipment Open mic every Wed; 8-10pm WUNDERBAR HOFBRAUHAUS Open mic every Wed, 9pm

NIKKI DIAMONDS Punk and ‘80s metal every Wed RED STAR Guest DJs every Wed

DJs

STARLITE ROOM Wild Style Wed: Hip-Hop; 9pm

HOOLIGANZ Open stage every Wed with host Cody Nouta; 9pm

BANK ULTRA LOUNGE Rev'd Up Wed: with DJ Mike Tomas upstairs; 8pm

TEMPLE Wild Style Wed: Hip hop open mic hosted by Kaz and Orv; $5

NISKU INN Troubadours and Tales: 1st

BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE Main Floor:

VENUE GUIDE 180 DEGREES 10730-107 St, 780.414.0233 28 DEGREES 5552 Calgary Tr ACCENT EUROPEAN LOUNGE 8223-104 St, 780.431.0179 ARTERY 9535 Jasper Ave AVENUE THEATRE 9030-118 Ave, 780.477.2149 BANK ULTRA LOUNGE 10765 Jasper Ave, 780.420.9098 BILLIARD CLUB 10505 Whyte Ave, 780.432.0335 BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE 1042582 Ave, 780.439.1082 BLACKJACK'S ROADHOUSE� Nisku 2110 Sparrow Drive, Nisku, 780.986.8522 BLACKSHEEP PUB 11026 Jasper Ave, 780.420.0448 BLUE CHAIR CAFÉ 9624-76 Ave, 780.989.2861 BLUE PEAR RESTAURANT 10643-123 St, 780.482.7178 BLUES ON WHYTE 10329-82 Ave, 780.439.3981 BOHEMIA 10575-114 St BRIXX BAR 10030-102 St (downstairs), 780.428.1099 BUDDY’S 11725B Jasper Ave, 780.488.6636 CASINO EDMONTON 7055 Argylll Rd, 780.463.9467 CASINO YELLOWHEAD 12464153 St, 780 424 9467 CENTURY GRILL 3975 Calgary Tr NW, 780.431.0303 CHATEAU LOUIS 11727 Kingsway, 780 452 7770 CHROME LOUNGE 132 Ave, Victoria Trail COAST TO COAST 5552 Calgary Tr, 780.439.8675 COMMON LOUNGE 10124-124 St CONVOCATION HALL Arts Bldg, U of A, 780.492.3611 CROWN AND ANCHOR 15277

Castledowns Rd, 780.472.7696 CROWN PUB 10709-109 St, 780.428.5618 DIESEL ULTRA LOUNGE 11845 Wayne Gretzky Drive, 780.704. CLUB DEVANEY’S IRISH PUB 9013-88 Ave, 780.465.4834 THE DOCKS 13710 66 St, 780.476.3625 DOW'S SHELL THEATRE�Fort Saskatchewan 8700-84 St, Fort Saskatchewan, 780.992.6400 DRUID 11606 Jasper Ave, 780.454.9928 DUSTER’S PUB 6402-118 Ave, 780.474.5554 DV8 8307-99 St EARLY STAGE SALOON 4911-52 Ave, Stony Plain EDDIE SHORTS 10713-124 St, 780.453.3663 EDMONTON EVENTS CENTRE WEM Phase III, 780.489.SHOW ELECTRIC RODEO�Spruce Grove 121-1 Ave, Spruce Grove, 780.962.1411 ELEPHANT AND CASTLE�Whyte Ave 10314 Whyte Ave EXPRESSIONZ CAFÉ 9938-70 Ave, 780.437.3667 FIDDLER’S ROOST 8906-99 St FILTHY MCNASTY’S 10511-82 Ave, 780.916.1557 FLOW LOUNGE 11815 Wayne Gretzky Dr, 780.604.CLUB FLUID LOUNGE 10888 Jasper Ave, 780.429.0700 FUNKY BUDDHA 10341-82 Ave, 780.433.9676 GAS PUMP 10166-114 St, 780.488.4841 GOOD EARTH COFFEE HOUSE 9942-108 St HALO 10538 Jasper Ave, 780.423. HALO

HAVEN SOCIAL CLUB 15120A (basement), Stony Plain Rd, 780.756.6010 HILLTOP PUB 8220-106 Ave, 780.490.7359 HOOLIGANZ 10704-124 St, 780.995.7110 HYDEAWAY 10209-100 Ave, 780.426.5381 IRON BOAR PUB 4911-51st St, Wetaskiwin JAMMERS PUB 11948-127 Ave, 780.451.8779 J AND R 4003-106 St, 780.436.4403 JEFFREY’S CAFÉ 9640 142 St, 780.451.8890 JEKYLL AND HYDE 10209-100 Ave, 780.426.5381 JUNCTION BAR AND EATERY 10242-106 St, 780.756.5667 KAS BAR 10444-82 Ave, 780.433.6768 KELLY'S PUB 11540 Jasper Ave L.B.’S PUB 23 Akins Dr, St Albert, 780.460.9100 LEGENDS PUB 6104-172 St, 780.481.2786 LEVEL 2 LOUNGE 11607 Jasper Ave, 2nd Fl, 780.447.4495 LIZARD LOUNGE 13160-118 Ave MARYBETH'S COFFEE HOUSE–Beaumont 5001-30 Ave, Beaumont, 780.929.2203 MCDOUGALL UNITED CHURCH 10025-101 St MUTTART HALL Alberta College, 10050 Macdonald Dr NAKED CYBER CAFÉ 10354 Jasper Ave, 780.425.9730 NEST NAIT Main Campus, 11762-106 St NEWCASTLE PUB 6108-90 Ave, 780.490.1999 NEW CITY LEGION 8130 Gateway Boulevard (Red Door)

NIKKI DIAMONDS 8130 Gateway Blvd, 780.439.8006 NISKU INN 1101-4 St NORTH GLENORA HALL 13535109A Ave O’BYRNE’S 10616-82 Ave, 780.414.6766 ON THE ROCKS 11730 Jasper Ave, 780.482.4767 ORLANDO'S 1 15163-121 St OVERTIME�Downtown 10304111 St, 780.465.6800 OVERTIME Whitemud Crossing, 4211-106 St, 780.485.1717 PAWN SHOP 10551-82 Ave, Upstairs, 780.432.0814 PLAYBACK PUB 594 Hermitage Rd, 130 Ave, 40 St PLEASANTVIEW COMMUNITY HALL 10860-57 Ave REDNEX BAR�Morinville 10413100 Ave, Morinville, 780.939.6955 RED PIANO BAR 1638 Bourbon St, WEM, 8882-170 St, 780.486.7722 RED STAR 10538 Jasper Ave, 780.428.0825 RENDEZVOUS 10108-149 St RIC’S GRILL 24 Perron Street, St Albert, 780.460.6602 ROSEBOWL/ROUGE LOUNGE 10111-117 St, 780.482.5253 ROSE AND CROWN 10235-101 St R PUB 16753-100 St ,

780.457.1266

RUSTY REED'S HOUSE OF BLUES 12402-118 Ave, 780.451.1390 SECOND CUP�Mountain Equipment 12336-102 Ave, 780.451.7574; Stanley Milner Library 7 Sir Winston Churchill Sq; Varscona, Varscona Hotel, 106 St, Whyte Ave SECOND CUP�Sherwood Park 4005 Cloverbar Rd, Sherwood Park,

780.988.1929 ʸ Summerwood Summerwood Centre, Sherwood Park, 780.988.1929 SIDELINERS PUB 11018-127 St, 780.453.6006 SNEAKY PETE'S 12315-118 Ave SPORTSWORLD 13710-104 St SPORTSMAN'S LOUNGE 8170-50 St STARLITE ROOM 10030-102 St, 780.428.1099 STEEPS TEA LOUNGE�Whyte Ave 11116-82 Ave SUEDE LOUNGE 11806 Jasper Ave, 780.482.0707 SUITE 69 2 Fl, 8232 Gateway Blvd, 780.439.6969 TAPHOUSE 9020 McKenney Ave, St Albert, 780.458.0860 TREASURY 10004 Jasper Ave, 7870.990.1255, thetreasurey.ca UNCLE GLENNS 7666-156 St, 780.481.3192 VINYL DANCE LOUNGE 10740 Jasper Ave, 780.428.8655, vinylretrolounge.com WHISTLESTOP LOUNGE 12416132 Ave, 780. 451.5506 WILD BILL’S�Red Deer Quality Inn North Hill, 7150-50 Ave, Red Deer, 403.343.8800 WILD WEST SALOON 12912-50 St, 780.476.3388 WINSPEAR CENTRE 4 Sir Winston Churchill Square; 780.28.1414 WOK BOX 10119 Jasper Ave WUNDERBAR 8120-101 St, 780.436.2286 Y AFTERHOURS 10028-102 St, 780.994.3256, yafterhours.com YESTERDAYS PUB 112, 205 Carnegie Dr, St Albert, 780.459.0295

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

MUSIC // 29


COMMENT >> LGBTQ

Committed to diversity

backwords

chelsea boos // che@vueweekly.com

New policy will protect Edmonton's LGBT students On Tuesday, March 8 the Edmonton Public School through education as opposed to punishment. Board (EPSB) voted to establish a policy to protect and support LGBT students and staff in the disWhile it's good to aspire to an ideal notion of safety, trict's schools. The policy, while still in the safety is a difficult phenomenon to measure. development stage, will be the first of its Homophobia and transphobia manifest as kind in Alberta. physical violence but also as the routinTrustee Christopher Spencer preized silencing of "abnormal" people. sented a motion to develop a policy Thus, in addition to creating a safe enm o ekly.c vuewe that would clearly articulate EPSB's vironment it is also important to create alexa@ commitment to create supportive, rean environment where all students feel Alexa e n spectful and safe environments for LGBT empowered to question, experiment with DeGag peoples. Applauding the motion, Sarah and express their gender and sexuality: all Hoffman said that this marks a very importhings that Bill 44 has threatened and that the tant first step: actually acknowledging that LGBT EPSB has sought to address. people exist and that they account for a significant A section of the provincial government's Bill 44, part of the public school population. The action passed June 2009, introduced parental rights prois true to liberal rights politics' modus operandi: visions requiring school boards to notify parents first you have to name the oppressed group and "where courses of study, educational programs or then give them rights and protections. And while instructional materials, or instruction or exercises, my cynicism towards liberal rights is threatening prescribed under the [School] Act include subjectto rear its head, I think this policy is a needed and matter that deals explicitly with religion, sexuality promising precedent. or sexual orientation." Proponents of Bill 44 claim According to Hoffman, the EPSB conducted a that they are protecting children from the promosafety survey in the fall and it showed that 91 pertion of particular sexualities or religions as being sucent of junior high and high school students feel perior. Opponents of the bill, including myself, argue safe in their schools. Parents/guardians answered that this move completely suffocates students and the survey for elementary school students and reteachers' ability to inquire about or discuss issues to sponded that 94 percent of their children feel safe do with sexual orientation and religion. Ultimately, in their schools. While these statistics may seem under this bill, schools may become a hostile enpositive, they mean that six to nine percent of stuvironment for diversity and honest discussion and dents do not feel safe at school, and according to dialogue about sensitive yet important issues. Hoffman, this reality is not acceptable. The recently The EPSB has made a commitment to empowerpublicized incidents of teen suicides that were coning its students by fostering a community that is renected to homophobic and transphobic bullying spectful of diversity. To this end, Hoffman said that certainly show that some schools are failing to the EPSB has exhibited courage in standing up for protect, much less support their students. HoffLGBT students and staff, especially in the face of man states these cases were influential in estaba provincial government that seems intent on not lishing the EPSB policy which seeks to attain safety ignoring but actively silencing LGBT citizens. V

EERN Q UN TO MO

If you haven't noticed an election has erupted in this country, it could be because you live in Alberta. In the last federal election in 2008, voter turnout in the province reached a historic low at 52.9 percecnt, according to Elections Canada. Like this artist has cleverly observed, it could be attributed to Albertans feeling disconnected from the rest of the country and finding they have more in common with the States. However, if you believe in promoting art and cul-

ture, and think that cultural producers should be valued for the contributions they make to our everyday lives, get out and talk to your candidates. Let them know that you want to see more funding for the arts, so there are increased opportunities for people to express themselves in constructive ways, instead of giving them reasons to feel like they don't belong in this vibrant community called Canada. Please, for art's sake, vote! V

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19) This is an excellent time to study the book Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way—and Getting Away with it. In fact, the cosmos is actively encouraging you to be a successful jerk. APRIL FOOL! It's true that you're in a phase when it makes sense to be a little extra selfish and eager to bend the world to meet your needs. But according to my analysis, it's crucial that you do this politely and graciously. TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20) It's a great time to get breast implants, a penis enlargement or a nose enhancement. Anything you could do to yourself in order to make a bigger impression would be in harmonious alignment with the astrological omens. APRIL FOOL! Here are the facts: It's high time to work creatively and appreciatively with what nature has given you, not try to force it to accommodate some soulless desire. GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20) Between now and April 16, you really should try to party every night. You should experiment with at least 100 different altered states, talk to at least 500 fascinating people, and explode with at least 800 fits of laughter. You need massive stimulation, Gemini. You need record-breaking levels of variety and mood swings. APRIL FOOL! While it's true that this might be one of those times that the visionary poet William Blake was referring to when he said, "The road of excess leads to the palace of

30 // BACK

wisdom," please take care you don't end up slobbering face-down in the gutter halfway along the road of excess. Remember the goal: to actually reach the palace of wisdom. CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22) You have cosmic permission to brag like a coked-up pimp. You have poetic license to swagger and show off like a rock star who has sold his soul for $30 million. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a little. It's true that you have every right to seize more authority and feel more confident. But the best way to do that is to explore the mysteries of humble courage and ply the art of magical truth-telling and supercharge your willpower with a big dose of smart love. LEO ( Jul 23 – Aug 22) What is your most farfetched desire? I dare you to pursue it. What is the craving that would take you to the frontier of your understanding about yourself? I urge you to indulge it. APRIL FOOL! I don't really think you should try to carry out your most extreme fantasies. Maybe in a few weeks, but not now. I do hope, however, that you spend some time this week getting to know them better. VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22) If you develop symptoms like a dry mouth, twitching eyebrows, sweaty palms or goose bumps in places you don't usually get them, you may be suffering from a malady called anatidaephobia, which is the fear that you are being watched by a duck.

ROB BREZSNY // FREEWILL@vueweekly.com So please, Virgo, try to avoid places where ducks congregate. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will not contract an exotic affliction like anatidaephobia any time soon. You may, however, notice yourself experiencing waves of seemingly irrational elation; you may frequently feel like something oddly good is about to happen. Why? Because according to my analysis of the omens, you are more likely than usual to be watched by secret admirers, future helpers, interesting strangers and your guardian angel. LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22) If you're a straight man, this would be a good time to ask Halle Berry on a date. If you're a straight woman, you'll have a better-than-usual chance to get Jake Gyllenhaal to go out with you. If you're a gay man, you might want to try your luck with Adam Lambert, and if you're a lesbian, I encourage you to propose a rendezvous with Portia de Rossi. APRIL FOOL! I lied. It's never a good time to try to hook up with unavailable dream partner. I will say this, though: You now have extraordinary power to turn yourself into a better partner, ally and lover. And that suggests it's well within your means to cultivate a more exciting kind of intimacy. SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21) "Dear Rob: I just walked in on my boyfriend of over a year in bed with another woman. My mind is beyond blown; it's a splay of sparks in a drenched sky. Any advice on moving forward? Shocked Scor-

VUEWEEKLY // MAR 31 – APR 6, 2011

pio." Dear Shocked: I'll tell you what I'd like to tell all Scorpios right now: Start plotting your wicked revenge. APRIL FOOL! The truth is, revenge would be a dumb waste of your precious time. Any surprises that come your way in the coming days are basically disguised gifts from life to get you back on course. Use their motivational energy wisely and gratefully. SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21) It's an ideal time for you to explore the intimate wonders of ecosexuality. Nature's libidinous pleasures are calling to you. How about trying some erotic experiments with trees and waterfalls? Or skinny-dipping in wetlands? APRIL FOOL! It's true that this is a good time to expand your sexual repertoire, but it's quite possible to accomplish that by confining your erotic communion to human beings. CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19) The astrological omens are practically screaming for you to go out and buy a luxurious new home in your ideal neighborhood. It should have every feature you've ever dreamed about, whether that's a cinema-scale theatre room or a spa with a sauna and hot tub. If you have to go deep into debt to make this happen, that's fine. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. It is an excellent time for you to upgrade your domestic scene, either by making comfortable decor or by enhancing your relationships with your family and roommates. But there's no need to make crazy expenditures

that will cripple you financially. In fact, cheap is probably better. AQUARIUS ( Jan 20 – Feb 18) It's absolutely critical for you to be consistent and uniform right now. You must be pure, homogeneous and regular. Don't you dare dabble with anything that's even vaguely miscellaneous. APRIL FOOL! In astrological fact, the best way to thrive is by being a cross between a mishmash and a medley ... by being part hodgepodge and part amalgamation. Your strongest impact will come from blending the most diverse influences. The best elixir will result from mixing several different potions. PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20) I hope you take full advantage of this unusual moment in your astrological cycle, Pisces. According to my interpretation of the cosmic signs, it's prime time to unleash an ocean of tears. And not just the kind of moisture that wells up out of sadness, either. I hope you will give even more time to crying because of unreasonable joy, sobbing due to cathartic epiphanies, weeping out of compassion for the suffering of others, and blubbering activated by visions of the interconnectedness of all life. Let it flow! APRIL FOOL! I slightly overstated the possibilities. Yes, it will be a wonderful time to feel profound states of emotion and surrender to the tears they induce. But you need to get a few things done, too, so don't risk drowning.


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