ANGER AS A Call to Action

For many, anger is a difficult emotion to navigate. For much of my life, anger was a source of confusion. Surprisingly, now I welcome it from my body and my new relationship with anger has changed my life.

I believe that for many, the difficulty with anger is rooted in the belief that anger is intrinsically negative or harmful. We have all seen anger harm others, whether it is in small or large ways. It can be wielded for purposes of domination, control, manipulation, and even emotional or physical abuse. For many this has resulted in a fear of anger and confused coping mechanisms. Often, this leads to suppressing anger until it boils over uncontrollably creating damage in its path, which is what created our fear of anger in the first place.

It's not surprising that our coping mechanisms often align with the instinctual "fight or flight" response when dealing with anger; we either fight back or suppress and avoid it altogether. Unfortunately, both of these reactions only add to the ongoing cycle. Trying to suppress something does not make it disappear, and fighting back only leads to more conflict.

Personally, I used to be avoidant of anger and resist it when it arose in my body or around me, pushing it down and refusing to acknowledge its presence. I know there are many who also have this pattern; who stay silent, retreat, or avoid the issue altogether when presented with anger. This can lead to bottling up these feelings until they eventually explode in an unhealthy manner or manifest themselves in physical ailments, emotional instability, and distorted perspectives.

I have learned to see that here's no such thing as good or bad emotions. All emotions are neutral. However, how we express those emotions can have a more positive or negative impact on ourselves and those around us.

I have learned that our emotions are our body's way of communicating with us. I have found that by paying closer attention to our emotions and their impact on our physical and mental states, as well as our decisions and behaviors, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. With this deeper understanding, we also gain much greater control over ourselves and how we show up in the world.

Through my experiences, I've learned that anger is one of the most powerful messages our body can send us. It's not a sign of emotional instability or something to be ashamed of; rather, anger is a natural emotion that we all experience as we navigate through life's ups and downs. I have learned to see anger as a necessary signal from my body to take action and pay closer attention to my surroundings and inner self.

Unfortunately, the way society as a whole views anger has hindered our ability to respond proactively and coherently. It has either delayed our response or distorted it completely, preventing us from acting in alignment with ourselves. It took time for me to shift my perspective on anger, but I am amazed at how this change has made me more decisive, confident, and purposeful in my actions. Understanding that anger itself is a call to action has empowered me to speak up and act in situations where I may have stayed silent, done nothing, or let something continue despite feeling uneasy about it.

Developing a positive relationship with anger has been a two-phase journey for me and I will share these phases below for anyone to explore on their own.

PHASE 1: EXPRESSION

The initial step is finding a healthy outlet for pent-up anger that has lingered from the past. This repressed anger may not always be outwardly apparent to us in the moment; instead, it can manifest as internal feelings of irritation and frustration. The body may also have manifested physical effects of suppressed anger, such as health issues or deeprooted patterns of tension.

There are various methods to release this pent-up energy and I suggest exploring them on different levels: mental, emotional and physical.

Mentally

When anger is held inside, it can disrupt our thoughts and patterns. To regain balance, giving space for these thoughts to be expressed through language can be helpful. I suggest communicating through speech or writing with someone you trust and feel safe with. Another option is to jot down your thoughts, or even record your voice into a microphone for later playback. There are also various forms of creativity that can serve as outlets for this energy, such as art, dancing, building, or anything else that inspires you

Emotionally

Create a safe space where you can let out emotions. It may be a private space or if processing these emotions alone is difficult, seek out someone who can provide a supportive and safe environment for you to express them. This emotional energy can be expressed as anger, but it may also take on a range of other feelings. If it’s anger for example, find a place to scream or hit a pillow to let it out. If sadness or fear arises, allow yourself time to cry. Allow space for these emotions to come out uninhibitedly and let go of the need to make sense of them. They are simply stored energy from the past and there is no need to put stories on them. Rather than fixating on the past, you are currently feeling these emotions as they are leaving your body and being released.

Physically

It's important to release this energy physically as well. If you're feeling angry, try beating a pillow or engaging in other assertive and aggressive exercises like running or kickboxing. As your emotions continue to flow, seek out physical activities that can help you express them. Personally, I enjoy ecstatic dance for this purpose because it allows for free-form movement and is usually conducted in a supportive environment where self-expression is encouraged and witnessed by others. In my own experience, this amplifies the therapeutic effect of releasing pent-up energy.

PHASE 2: ANGER=ACTION

The second step in redefining my relationship with anger has been to understand that anger is a call for action, and to question myself whenever I feel angry: what specific actions do I need to take? Should I speak up? Set a boundary? Say no? Do something? Delegate tasks to others? Stop doing something?

It can be difficult to catch ourselves in the moment of a flush of anger and ask these questions. But with practice, pausing when we feel angry and asking ourselves these questions will become a habit. Personally, I have found that by doing this consistently over time, it has become a natural part of my behavior. Now, when I feel angry, I immediately identify what needs to be addressed and take action in the present moment.

Embracing my anger and harnessing its power has brought about significant transformation for myself and in my life. It has allowed me to be more attuned to my body and intuition, and has given me the courage to share my unique perspectives and talents with the world.

I recently heard someone describe emotion as "Energy in Motion," and I couldn't agree more, especially in regards to anger. Our emotions are a force that propels us. When we become more mindful and observant of how they influence us, we can harness their power to amplify our true selves and share our unique gifts in powerful ways.

All the best! Joy Dettling

Joy Dettling of Ignite Life specializes in helping individuals release unseen stuck stress patterns and embody their true potential. To find out more, visit ignitelife.net or contact joy@ignitelife.net.