From Silence to Strength: The Journey of Finding Your Voice

Lessons Learned: Moving from Unapologetically Taking Up Space to Shrinking into Insignificance to Finding Your Voice

Have you found your voice yet? It’s a popular phrase these days, but what does it really mean? I like to think of finding our voice as understanding ourselves and being true to who we are deep down inside.

If it still feels like you’re on the journey to finding your authentic self, you’re not alone. Finding our voice is indeed a journey, not a destination.

Through my own experiences, I’ve discovered three key lessons on this path: Remember Your Worth, Understand Your Beliefs, and Embrace Your Voice. Let me share a bit of my journey with you, so you know there is hope!

LESSON #1: REMEMBER YOUR WORTH

When I began this adventure called life, I unapologetically took up space. But over time, that boldness turned into shrinking into insignificance and fear. Recently, I came across a powerful reminder in Sarah Jakes Roberts' book Power Moves. She writes, “For many of us, feeling powerless is something that happens over time. No one is born powerless. From the moment you were an embryo in your mother’s womb, you began disrupting things… unapologetically taking up space.”

Yes! Before I was even born, I unapologetically took up space. That realization was a profound eyeopener for me.

From the very beginning, my worth was not measured by accomplishments, success, or education. My worth, from my first breath, had nothing to do with external factors like my bank account, network, or even my weight. My worth was simply in being created in the image of God, purposed by Him, and loved by Him.

It’s less about “finding your worth” and more about remembering it. Take a moment to connect with the vision of your entrance into this world. Your worth was inherent, unconditional. If it’s hard to imagine this for yourself, think about the moment your child was born. You loved that child unconditionally. Their worth was not in their accomplishments but simply in their being.

Lesson #1: Remember Your Worth.

LESSON #2: Understand Your Beliefs

The second lesson on this journey is understanding your beliefs. These beliefs are more than just your spiritual convictions; they encompass your views about yourself, others, and the world around you.

Many of our beliefs, especially limiting ones, are adopted in childhood as a form of protection— physically or emotionally. I don’t remember the exact moment I changed, but I vividly recall the time I realized I had become “small” and no longer allowed myself to take up space.

I was about six years old, playing in Ballenger Park near my home in Flint. There was a cement stage in the park, and though there were few people around, I remember climbing the steps but then lying down so no one would see me. I was that afraid to take up space. How quickly I went from unapologetically taking up space in my mother’s womb to shrinking into insignificance.

There wasn’t any significant trauma in my life—just the usual childhood experiences like moving to another state or adjusting to a new sibling. But it doesn’t take much for a child to feel unsafe, unloved, or like they don’t belong.

The key is to become aware of these beliefs. Instead of running on autopilot, letting our beliefs and emotions dictate our responses, we can examine them without judgment.

Ask yourself, “Is this belief serving me anymore?” It may have served a purpose at one time, but does it still? If not, you have the power to choose a new belief.

One supportive belief you can adopt is finding your voice by understanding yourself and being authentic to who you truly are inside. This is the Inner Work, the most significant part of my journey. It involves taking time to breathe, look inward, and question what I truly believe about myself, others, and the world. I choose to believe there is good and positive in all things, including myself. My worth is not in my accomplishments or external status; it’s in the fact that I exist, created and loved by God.

Lesson #2: Understand Your Beliefs.

LESSON #3: EMBRACE YOUR VOICE

As we remember our worth and reshape our beliefs, we naturally begin to find our voice—our true, authentic self. Embracing this voice is essential to living fully and unapologetically.

You can find your voice too. Start by remembering your worth—the essence of who you are from your very first breath. Then, understand your beliefs, and if necessary, choose ones that support your growth. This foundation will inevitably lead you to embrace your voice, guiding you to live authentically and boldly.

Your journey is unique, and your voice is needed. Take a moment today to reconnect with your worth, question your beliefs, and boldly step into your true self. You are worthy, and your voice matters.

Lesson #3: Embrace Your Voice.

Debra Loader is a Christian Health and Wellness Coach, a Christian Life Coach, as well as a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC). She helps women integrate their Christian faith into their health and wellness journey to find greater motivation and resilience. You can contact Debra at debra@ debraloaderlivingwell.com or 810287-4096.