The Wake - Issue 3 - Fall 2020

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student magazine

volume 20 — issue 3

Black Garnet Books

p. 9

The Problems with the Pill

p. 19

Traveling With Ourselves

p. 12

Wasting Away During Quarantine

p. 23

The Reach of the Coronavirus

p. 14

Songs by Adrianne Lenker

p. 25


HINDSIGHT 20/20

Art by Megan Connor Congratulations to Megan Connor for submitting an original work of art that our staff found to best encapsulate 2020, and thank you to all who submitted!


VOLUME 20, ISSUE 3 EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief

Tala Alfoqaha

Managing Editor

Marley Richmond

Cities Editor

Ian Knoll

Voices Editor

Sylvia Rani

Online editor

Na’Jai Wilson

Copy editors

Autumn Sanders Hannah Haakenson

Multimedia Editor

Sebastian Alfonzo

Multimedia Producer

Cynthia Maya

Music and Review Interns: Avery Wageman, Macy Harder Editorial Interns: Mitchell Levesque, Holly Gilvary, Sydni Rose,

BMM EBZ

Jemma Keleher, Izzy Teitelbaum, Ellie Roth, Avery Wageman, Macy Harder, Peter Nomeland Multimedia Interns: Brianna White, Amy Halbmaier, Linnea Baerenwald, Parker Smith

PRODUCTION Executive Director

Esther Chan

Creative Director

Chae Hong

Finance Manager

Hannah Dove

PR/Ad Manager

Udita Goel

Social Media Manager

Grace Augustin

Art Director

Sydnney Islam

Designers

Anna Aquino Gavin Schuster Makenna Larson

Web Manager

Natalie Bluhm

Distribution Manager

Shannon Brault

Production Interns: Skylar Neubar, Tymia Phathachack, Amy Haslerud Art Interns: Audrey Rauth, Isabel Atkinson, Megan Bormann, Madison Kuehn Š2020 The Wake Student Magazine. All Rights Reserved.

THIS ISSUE

Established in 2002, The Wake is a fortnightly independent magazine and registered student organization produced by and for students at the University of Minnesota.

Writers

The Wake was founded by Chrin Ruen & James DeLong.

Mitchell Levesque, Jemma Keleher, Sydni Rose, Sylvia Rani, Ellie Roth,

Disclaimer: The purpose of The Wake is to provide a forum in which students can voice their opinions. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not representative of the publication or university as a whole. To join the conversation email eic@wakemag.org. The Wake Student Magazine 126 Coffman Memorial Union 300 Washington Avenue SE Minneapolis, MN 55455

THE WAKE

Grace Davis, Marley Richmond, Matthew Voigt, Holly Gilvary, Peter Nomeland, Izzy Teitelbaum, Sydney Hainy, Carter Starkey, Sagrario Torres Flores, Vishalli Alagappan Art 1 Megan Bormann, 2 Madison Kuehn, 3 Audrey Rauth, 4 Megan Conner, 5 Sydnney Islam, 6 Isabel Atkinson Adriane Lenker, Push, Blood of Zeus, and Hey u x art from original sources. Cover and Feature art by Gavin Schuster

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Managing Teams

wink! one page magazine

Happy Holidays to all of our readers from The Wake! See you all next year...

Editorial Team

Creative Team

Creative Interns

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Editorial Interns

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


INSIDE 8

Queenie & Pearl Reigns to Remain

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Black Garnet Books

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College Students, COVID-19, and Carelessness

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Traveling With Ourselves

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The Reach of The Coronavirus

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The Problems With The Pill

UPCOMING EVENTS 11/14–01/02

01/02

Gingerbread Wonderland

Northeast Outdoor Winter Market

All are encouraged to enter their dream cookie creation, regardless of their baking level. Once you’re finished, contact us to arrange a drop-off.

The Northeast Winter Market will be outdoors this season! A true Northern winter experience for hardy Minnesotans who like to brave the cold to support local small businesses.

10 AM – 6 PM @ Norway House

11 AM – 1 PM @ Northeast Minneapolis Farmers Market

11/12–1/16

12/01–12/21

Fabulista 2

Raging Art ON

The hope for this project is to connect us to our shared humanity, to examine the effects of the criminal justice system, and to inspire actions that support racial and economic justice.

Holiday market in a gallery setting, Gamut Gallery provides a fun-filled, consumer-conscious alternative to chain stores and mall shopping.

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Local Activism and Policing

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Legacy and Leadership

12 PM – 5 PM @ NE Sculpture

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We Need a New MTV

12/17–01/15

12/10–12/12

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Is the Internet Ruining Our Memory?

COVID/ART Impact 2020

Illuminate The Lock: Madweyaashkaa

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Wasting Away During Quarantine

All are welcome to join Studio Pintura’s annual Small Works 2020 Exhibition.

An animated video collage projected onto the wall of the Upper St. Anthony Falls lock walls is sync with a soundscape of music. Explore the themes of finding connection within ourselves to nature from an Anishinaabe perspective .

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Love Letter to My First Love

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“Songs” by Adrianne Lenker

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“PUSH” by NOEL

4 PM – 8 PM @ Studio Pintura

5 PM – 10 PM @ Gamut Gallery

5:30 PM – 8 PM @ Upper St. Anthony Falls Lock Visitor Center

“Blood of Zeus” 27

“Hey u x” by BENEE

THE WAKE

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Letter from the Editor in Chief I’m exhausted. Worn to the bone by a cruel semester that marches on as if it doesn’t see the fingerprints of grief all around us, by a capitalist hellscape that demands more of our labour and our environment and our compassion and our future each day and gives us less and less in return, by a standing worry that one miscalculation could jeopardize the lives of those I care about most. I have finals looming over me and late assignments trailing behind me and law school applications waiting to be submitted and a thesis that, stubbornly, will not write itself. And I’m exhausted, reader. I’m sure you are too. So I’m going to use my 400-or-so-word exposition of our final issue of the semester to write about something that energizes me, ceaselessly. This is a love letter: Every conversation with my mother commences with a familiar dance through her favorite venue of interrogation. She asks me if I’ve taken my vitamin D supplements for the day. She asks me about my iron tablets. My probiotics. My multivitamins. Am I eating? Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I happy? Really, am I happy? I dodge and weave each question, treading carefully through her minefield of maternal worries. Mama, I promise, I’m okay. I’m okay. This is, first and foremost, a love letter to her. At random points throughout this semester, my friends have parachuted onto my balcony, mercifully and wholly unprompted, to drop off ginger tea or ice cream from CVS or apple cider or Trader Joe’s takis or whatever consumer good they have decided to bestow upon me. My roommates listen to me complain about the LSAT and withhold judgement when I fall asleep on the couch. I’ve spent hours on Zoom calls and attempted facetime study sessions that invariably devolve into venting seminars. Occasionally, I find myself immobilized by stress and take weeks to respond to a message. My friends still text me anyway. This is, decidedly, a love letter to them. Two summers ago, with my face pressed against the window of a bus during my morning commute to work, I noticed a sign that read, “Justice is what love looks like in public.” A hurried internet search attributed the quote to Dr. Cornel West, and I began looking forward to completing my daily pilgrimage across those pink-and-white bolded letters draped over the side of a church. Now, as much as ever, our capacity for compassion, for mutual aid, for community care is transformative. This is, also, a love letter to that paradigm-shifting love. And today, dear reader, the six-week publishing cycle of our final issue of the semester has come to an end. Written, designed, and illustrated by over 50 staff members, interns, and freelancers working in isolated coordination, this magazine is, deeply, ultimately, and sincerely, a love letter to you. Don’t hesitate to write back. With love, Tala Alfoqaha Editor-in-Chief

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DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


ART

THE WAKE

Art by Megan Bormann


CITIES

Queenie & Pearl Reigns to Remain A chat with Lisa Banwell, owner of the small, female-owned business Queenie & Pearl in Minneapolis

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BY GRACE DAVIS Lisa Banwell, owner of small boutique Queenie & Pearl, remains to be one of the most consistently joyful, youthful, and bright souls I’ve ever met. I met Banwell two years ago, shortly after she opened her store, Queenie & Pearl, on 50th and Xerxes. Queenie & Pearl started as a single-floor shop filled with retail and hand-picked vintage pieces from Banwell herself. About a year later, Banwell bought the top floor of the building and expanded her vintage collection along with adding a vinyl collaboration with Solsta. Along with a creative studio, where the boutique has been able to do shoots and styling for their growing Instagram account and website. Walking into Queenie & Pearl feels like entering the ‘70s: bell bottoms, shag rugs, leather jackets galore— and you can usually expect to hear at least one Fleetwood Mac song while shopping. Recently, Queenie & Pearl celebrated their twoyear anniversary. For Banwell and her team, this is a special accomplishment, considering that the past nine months have been a real test of perseverance, patience, and passion for everyone. All their hard work has paid off though—as of November 2020, Banwell is officially the owner of the building where Queenie & Pearl resides.

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In March, Banwell received a call from her lawyer who informed her that the building was for sale and was most likely going to be sold to a development group to build a condo complex. This was devastating news to Banwell and her team because they had poured their hearts and souls into the future of this store and created a strong relationship with the neighborhood. Banwell knew she couldn’t give up on her and her team’s dream, so she decided to tell her lawyer she wanted to purchase the building. Nine months and a tumultuous series of hoops to jump through later, Queenie & Pearl have won the battle against gentrification, and officially own the building. When I asked Banwell if any moments in the past two years stood out to her, she told me, “It’s just crazy that two years ago we were only open three days a week, and I was so terrified to sign the lease. Now, two years later, I own the building, and we’re open every day except Monday ... I have a small, wonderful team and employees that makes me feel so grown up,” she added, laughing. With the future of COVID-19 still unknown, it’s hard to know how to set future goals for Queenie & Pearl. When I asked Banwell about what the future holds for Queenie & Pearl, she said, “So many things! I love technology, Instagram, and what that’s done for us. It’s always been a concern of mine that if we move in that direction that it feels authentic, that it feels like us, still friendly and positive and not just transactional. Obviously transactions are important, but that’s not what I’m doing this for.”

Banwell and Queenie & Pearl have come a long way, and it took a lot of hard work to get where they are now. When I asked if she had any advice to anyone who has a dream like she did of starting such a big project, Banwell said, “Obviously it’s great to listen to advice from other people, but I think that everyone has their perspective and dream, and they should bring that to the world because we already have a lot of other people’s dreams. Stay as true as you can to what you want to do, and there will be compromises and you will have to change course. At the end of the day you just have to remember why in your heart you wanted to do it.” Queenie & Pearl is a hopeful success story in these trying times, and it’s great to see that small, female-owned and operated businesses are still thriving. It hasn’t been easy for them, but they’ve done what they can and have stayed true to their values of relationships, connection, and positivity through it all. Remember to shop small and local, and check out @QueenieandPearl on Instagram for an inside look into what this wonderful team has to offer.

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


CITIES

Black Garnet Books

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Minnesota’s only Black-owned bookstore BY MARLEY RICHMOND It only took a viral tweet and a runaway crowdfunding campaign to spark the creation of Minnesota’s only Blackowned bookstore, Black Garnet Books. “Receiving that kind of feedback and also enthusiasm just felt very, very affirming,” said Dionne Sims, owner of the bookstore. Now, four months later, Black Garnet Books continues to thrive. Opening a business alone is a huge endeavor, and a pandemic adds plenty of extra challenges. Speaking on what she struggled with the most, Sims said, “I lacked the ability to go to other bookstores and just kind of, like, move around and see how things are and talk to the booksellers and talk to the owners.” Yet Black Garnet Books is still on its way to becoming a community hub in the Twin Cities. “I feel very strongly that bookstores are political,” Sims said. “[The bookstore] is going to be largely built on what my beliefs are and the future I want to see in Minneapolis.” That future is one in which Sims will be unapologetic in her beliefs as “a very radical, confident Black woman.”

Have You Heard of These Places?

Hidden spaces on campus that you may not have known BY MATTHEW VOIGT If you’ve ever spent any time on campus, you’ve probably gone to the Knoll or the mall. These are great, but they are not the only places on campus to enjoy nature and the University. The following are places that are equally as nice, but not as busy.

For Black Garnet Books to become such a space, Sims reiterated the importance of sustained support: “I guess now that the excitement of supporting Black people has worn off, [that support has] become more critical”—even as media attention shifts away from the Black Lives Matter movement and issues of racial equity.

McNamara Plaza You’ve probably been to this place or at least walked through it. As one of the largest greenspaces on campus, this plaza definitely feels quieter than more trafficked ones. And even if you’re just walking through, it’s a nice shortcut from Stadium Village to the rest of campus. Also, during the warmer months, there are some calming fountains in front of the alumni center and plenty of sitting areas for studying.

Although their pop-up location is closed due to the pandemic, and until a permanent physical location opens this summer, Black Garnet Books is open and ready for orders on Bookshop.org, an online bookseller designed to support independent bookstores. You can check out their page at bookshop.org/shop/blackgarnetbooks.

Northern Pacific Bridge #9 This bridge is one of those places that are enigmatic. It’s out of the way, in a weird place, and every map seems to have a different name for it. Regardless, it’s definitely a place that you should check out because the views from it are great, and it’s also a neat shortcut into downtown and West Bank.

With Sims at its helm, Black Garnet Books promises to continue reflecting the diverse, thoughtful, and revolutionary community that makes up the Twin Cities.

North Entrance to RecWell This is definitely a “this exists?” sort of place. It’s definitely a secret gem, and if you want solitude on campus, this is the place to be. You can also use it as a shortcut to the areas of campus north of University Avenue and take the path behind Williams Arena and then pop out at Mariucci.

To read an extended excerpt of our interview with Dionne—a lovely and honest conversation about all things books—head to wakemag.org.

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THE WAKE

Greenspace between Lind and Keller Lots of people walk by this space and never take the time to enjoy it as a secluded place in the heart of campus. Great for studying or just taking a break whilst also staying close to the heart of campus for an added convenience factor.

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CITIES

College Students, COVID-19, and Carelessness

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How our reckless actions affect the Twin Cities BY HOLLY GILVARY On November 20, the coronavirus restrictions closing bars, restaurants, gyms, and entertainment venues went into effect, entering Minnesota into the closest thing we’ve had to a lockdown since May. This elicited mixed reactions from Minnesotans; some were grateful, some angry, and others were anxious, as they wondered what would happen to their paychecks if their workplace was shut down. No matter where you stand on the issue, it’s hard to feel good about the prospect of being trapped inside again, even if it is for the greater good. But feelings aside, how have our actions affected the Twin Cities community between the beginning of the pandemic and now? Personally, I wasn’t here in the Twin Cities during the first statewide lockdown. I was at home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, waiting for April 1 to come so I could return to campus (which, of course, didn’t happen). I can’t attest to the way the cities changed, hurted, and grieved during the early months of the pandemic. What I can attest to, though, is what the community looked and felt like when I came back. Between a brief weekend in Dinkytown in June to drop off my apartment keys and my return to campus in August, I was shocked at how similar the energy was around campus to the way it had been when I left in March for spring break. People were out and about—some wearing masks, some

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not—going to restaurants and bars and gathering in large groups. The most dramatic change I noticed was in the temperature, rather than in the way people interacted with each other and spent time with friends. Throughout the semester, seeing lines outside of Sally’s and parties on people’s Snapchat stories, I was reminded over and over again that we’re not exactly all in this together. There’s a stark divide between University of Minnesota students who rushed back out to the bars when they opened again in June, and those who stayed home and continued to meet with friends over FaceTime or masked from six feet away in parks. And while it may seem like we’re mostly in a bubble that’s confined to the student neighborhoods around East Bank, West Bank, and St. Paul, the virus that’s plaguing our cities isn’t. While students at colleges around the Twin Cities have taken the risk to live their lives as normal, people outside of their immediate campus communities have paid the price. What makes this worse—and what most likely contributes to the continuation of unsafe behaviors that puts others’ health at risk—is that we often don’t even see the consequences that our actions have in other parts of the community. While young people may assess the risks for themselves and make the decision that going out for happy hour or attending a tailgate party

is worth the risk, they simultaneously decide that other people in our community don’t matter to them. The University staff working in our dorms and lecture halls, the low-wage workers scanning our items at the grocery store, the strangers we come across on the Metro, locals who haven’t just lived in the Twin Cities for a few semesters, but whose whole lives are rooted in this community, are deemed unimportant by 21-year-olds who won’t stick around long enough to see the damage that they’ve inflicted. This isn’t to point fingers or to put all the blame on individual actions when we live under a federal government that refuses to give us the resources we need to stay safe; however, acknowledging our role in keeping our community safe as young, mostly healthy people is crucial. And with a disease as easy to spread as COVID-19, it’s just not worth the risk of harming people who are most vulnerable. That janitorial worker in Comstock could be someone’s father, the underpaid grocery store employee could be someone’s daughter, and the stranger on the Metro could be someone’s immunocompromised spouse or the caregiver of someone who is elderly. There’s simply far too many possibilities for the people who aren’t in our lives to be someone that we unknowingly pass the virus on to, and there’s no way of knowing whether or not that will cause another grieving family in the Twin Cities we claim to love.

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


ART

THE WAKE

Art by Chae Hong companion


CITIES

Traveling With Ourselves A virtual discussion with Anu Taranath on traveling and its complexities 4

BY MITCHELL LEVESQUE Guilt trips are never fun— the emotional strife feeling arduous and suffocating. In the case of Anu Taranath’s book “Beyond Guilt Trips: Mindful Travel in an Unequal World,” the expression “guilt trip” takes on a more literal meaning: literal guilt on a literal trip. What this all refers to, of course, is the feelings present when visiting places that may be less privileged than the ones you come from. Emotional baggage pertaining to this kind of guilt trip greatly outweighs any physical baggage you can think to bring. Not only is it heavier, but it’s also cumbersome and obtuse; it slows and impedes connections to be made, whether that be with the people or cultures you interact with. How do we deal with all of this? Are we to accept it as the price of traveling? Or, do we finally take a closer look at these feelings and not be so frightened by what we may find? For Taranath, the answer to many of these quandaries is empathy. In a recent talk hosted by Impact Travel Alliance, a nonprofit organization aiming to provide advice on how to “travel in a way that empowers local communities and protects our earth,” Taranath cites empathy as an opportunity to “connect our stories together”; she says, it is the “glue” holding the world together, exposing us to our differences, and also to our similarities. This, then, is where things begin to transform and meaningful connections are made, getting at the heart of what it means to truly travel.

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However, this part of the larger equation is hardly realized when our emotions are not given attention, much less processed. The first step is acknowledging the inherent guilt felt when traveling with the privilege that many of us have. Once there, Taranath encourages us to look further than this—beyond guilt trips—and see instead the complex framework that gives power to some and not to others. Beginning this way is far more effective in enacting any change, finding the place between good intentions and “I can’t do anything” to find small, reasonable changes. Small changes, according to Taranath, through no fault of our own, is often all that many of us can do. Yet, it is these small changes that begin to create large impacts. The importance of one’s own well-being must also be stated. Change is often only effective if the person enacting it is personally in balance with their abilities, as well as their limitations. We must ask: how sustainable are our actions, not just in regards to their effect on the planet, but also in regards to their effect on us? “You and I,” Taranath says, “have not created the world that we’re in.” It’s in response to this unjust world that we not only fight to understand the powers that may be, but also the compunctions and insecurities that lie in our own personal struggle with these issues.

the work she has done with companies who wish to discuss race equity, or the facilitating of study abroad programs for students in the United States. Framed around the experiences of Taranath and those she’s worked with, the book seeks to ask questions of travel and the privilege that often comes with it when visiting from the U.S. and many other countries. In exploring these ideas on travel, and the burdens that come with it, one can only contemplate in abstraction for so long; sooner or later, a direct example or tangible tools will be needed to deal with the guilt that so often accompanies travelers. By itself, the virtual talk given may not be as extensive due to necessity of length; however, it certainly is an entry point to the discussion of how we can get there. Indeed, these are considerations that need constant tinkering and attention, a cause well accompanied by the discussion had. To totally rid these issues from your life and your travels would be impossible. Yet, just as we can learn to cope with the stresses of our daily life, so too can we learn to cope with and confront the stresses of traveling. It’s only after this that we can go beyond just experiencing these emotions and discover a truly new way to travel.

Taranath herself is no stranger to these issues. What led her to write the book, she says, was a combination of her experiences growing up, as well as her professional work— whether that be

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


HINDSIGHT 20/20

Art by Adam Foster Congratulations to Adam Foster for being the runner-up entry for Hindsight 20/20!


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DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


FEATURE

THE REACH OF THE CORONAVIRUS COVID–19 has had an effect on more than just health—it’s further divided the country and placed stress on our relationships with others and ourselves. The sun continues to rise and set each day, whether you’re experiencing time linearly or not, which means the world is nearing the one-year anniversary of the emergence of the virus we’ve come to know so well. Despite re-openings, lifted restrictions, and an attempt to return to “normal,” COVID-19 is still here and still wreaking havoc on our lives. From the death of a social life to the death of a family member, this virus is taking away the smallest of life’s joys, and also the biggest. SYDNI ROSE MARLEY RICHMOND JEMMA KELEHER

Physical health has been of utmost importance during this pandemic, indicating a virus-free body. And though COVID-19 is painless and easy for some, it is fatal for others. Many people have presented long-term health effects, ranging from cardiovascular or respiratory issues to problems with sleeping and memory. But mental health is of equal importance, especially during a pandemic that has brought more lows than highs. Amanda Hodel, a child psychology and neuroscience instructor at the University of Minnesota, said the lasting psychological effects may be just as devastating as the physical ones. The nature of a pandemic sets in motion an array of emotional distress, which can be caused by many factors—fear of contracting the virus, selfisolation, less social interaction, job loss, school

THE WAKE

closures, interpersonal conflicts over precautions and beliefs surrounding the virus, and more. At the most basic level, we are all in survival mode. This reactionary “fight or flight” response has, in turn, made it difficult for the majority of people to focus on their hobbies, projects, and goals. Hodel said, “When you are preoccupied with your survival, your attention and cognitive processing is biased toward detecting threat, so it can be more difficult to control your attention toward your own goals.” University of Minnesota student Matthew Voigt summed up this feeling well, saying, “I’m just [...] writing this little reading response on John Rawls, and the world’s burning around me, and several thousand people are dying every day.” Focusing on schoolwork can feel pointless when the future is anything but certain. Experiencing the world in a time as uncertain as now has the potential to physically harm people. According to Hodel, we are all “calibrating our body’s stress systems to a pretty strange and atypical set of experiences.” Living through this time of repeated stress and trauma can cause dysfunction in the body’s stress system, altering “the ability to control, regulate, and plan our behavior.”

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FEATURE

There are two sides to this coin: the collective and the personal experience. No two people can have identical experiences, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a sense of relatability or empathy present. Worldwide, the number of deaths has reached hundreds of thousands per day, which is gutwrenching—or… it was? The height of COVID-19 related deaths—with higher numbers every day— can feel hard to process. It might be exhausting to feel the full range of emotion that comes with empathizing with an entire nation, much less the entire world. Hodel said this feeling can be described as “ambiguous loss.” She said, “Many of the disruptions COVID has caused, there isn’t a clear, single time point that reflects the loss. Instead, it just permeates many aspects of our lives, as a series of ongoing and cascading losses.” Joseph Aquino, a young adult working for CCC Information Services, contracted and recovered from COVID-19 in the fall. He said that the constantly rising number of deaths remains as upsetting and painful as it always has been, but he also thinks that “with a lot of people, there’s just a ton of fatigue, almost like a numbing to the stats and numbers.” Not only are people’s emotional lives weighed down by the constant stream of suffering due to COVID-19, but non-pandemic-related grief also becomes more difficult to bear. Voigt, whose grandfather was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April, shared how public health

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guidelines affected end-of-life care. “Hospice care in a pandemic... you can’t go and visit the person in the hospice facility,” Voigt said. When his grandfather passed away, Voigt faced a difficult choice: risk contracting the virus or stay home. At first, he said, “I’m not going to this funeral. I refuse—I’m not putting myself in that position.” While Voigt did end up attending, he called the experience “too close for comfort.” He said, “It’s really uncomfortable to cry in a mask.” Natalie Bagwell, another student at the University of Minnesota, faced a similar choice. She had to decide between putting a relative with a preexisting condition at risk and continuing to see the rest of her family. Bagwell’s parents do not believe in the severity of COVID-19, but despite their opinion, she and her husband chose to fully selfisolate in order to continue visiting and supporting Bagwell’s mother-in-law, who suffers from kidney disease and lives alone. “I’m close with my family, but I haven’t really seen them since this started to protect my husband’s mom,” Bagwell said. This choice caused tension because her parents didn’t understand their caution. Even when Bagwell herself got sick, her parents were convinced that she had nothing more than a bad cold. “It got to the point with my breathing, that I was in class on Zoom, and I couldn’t pay attention because I just had to breathe,” Bagwell said. “I had to put all of my thought and effort into breathing, and it hurt and I couldn’t get air in.”

She relied on her mother-in-law’s oxygen tank to get through her school day and monitored her oxygen levels in case she needed to go to the hospital. Yet because Bagwell survived the virus, her parents ask, “Why are people dying? They’re obviously dying from other things.” After a little over a month, Bagwell and her husband were cleared to stop quarantining. Even though they were no longer positive, Bagwell said that she had trouble stringing words into sentences for weeks. This lingering brain fog is just one of many symptoms that some people continue to experience long after they have “recovered.” Anna Campbell, a student at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, tested positive for COVID-19 in September. “I felt pretty okay after a couple days,” Campbell said, but “the only thing that’s been consistent is that I have not tasted [or smelled] anything” since testing positive. She worries that her sense of taste and smell will never return. “That’s a very possible future,” Campbell said, and one with significantly less joy in her life. For Corrie Hermans-Webster, a previously healthy 29-year-old resident of Boston, the lasting effects of COVID-19 were even more serious. She contracted the virus in March and her body continues to be ravaged by it. “Before getting COVID, I would routinely walk or run 20 miles a day, I would do an hour long spin class in the morning, and I would do boxing two or three times a week for an hour,” she said. “Now I walk up a flight of stairs and have to sit down for ten minutes to recover.”

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


FEATURE

“My body just has so many issues, and there’s nothing [doctors] can really do to figure it out. They’re just trying to maintain it and make sure I don’t have a heart attack, basically,” HermansWebster explained. Every day, she takes fourteen medicines—and even that hasn’t been able to bring her anywhere near having the life she used to. “I could tell it wasn’t getting better. I had to find a new job, even though I loved what I was doing.” Her entire life has changed because of a virus she caught nine months ago. Behind each statistic is a story like this, even when the overwhelming number of cases and deaths means those stories blend together. It feels like society has begun to crumble, and it can be overwhelming to get through the day without any motivation or end in sight. Aquino says the shock of seeing news headlines with sky-rocketing numbers of deaths is no longer there, but it reflects how poorly the US has responded to the virus. He noted that the United States’ response has not placed concern on “trying to take care of the larger society” and said that it’s translated to a “me versus my neighbor mentality” on an individual level. Public health experts repeat the guidelines for controlling the pandemic that we have all come to know: Stay six feet apart from others, wash your hands, and wear a mask. Yet some people reject these provisions as an infringement of personal freedom, scientifically baseless, or just

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unnecessary. But even for those who believe in the effectiveness of these precautions, they can sometimes feel futile. “I was kind of surprised when I got it,” Campbell said, because she followed guidelines by staying home except for going to work and the grocery store, where she wore a mask. “I think now that I’ve had it I’m like, well, what the f*** is the point? I was following all the rules, and I still got it.” Some folks, including Campbell, don’t have the luxury of fully sheltering in place as guidelines suggest and may have been infected at work. The government’s failure to issue another stimulus check or offer support to workers and small businesses shows that it is not only the general population whose actions are failing to control the pandemic. The skepticism the Trump administration has shown towards public health recommendations has also proven detrimental to our nation’s response to COVID-19. Bagwell said that despite her own illness and significant research, her parents believe in neither the severity of the virus nor the effectiveness of masks. “That’s one of the most frustrating things, I think, where like, I could explain this to you, but you won’t listen no matter how valid [and] educated my argument is,” Bagwell said. Aquino had friends who took the virus less-thanseriously. They continued to gather in large groups and saw wearing a mask as a “drag.” When he got COVID-19, they were concerned. But to them, his recovery served as reinforcement for

the lack of severity of the virus. “It was almost like confirmation bias where they were like, ‘See, you got better, and you were fine.’” Some of those friends also tested positive for COVID-19 and recovered, again reaffirming their beliefs. However, Aquino said it hasn’t changed his view of the virus. He’s taken it seriously and will continue to do so. Despite global tragedy, house parties continue. Masks are still seen by some as limitations on liberty and freedom, and they are worn incorrectly, if at all. Even when confronted by the lived experience of others who have suffered greatly from COVID-19, some people still don’t believe the virus is more than a cold. “It’s like a battle between pride and ignorance and actually caring for people,” Buckland said. “I don’t understand how you don’t see that how to love people in this moment is to protect them.” Protecting those you love means wearing a mask and staying home. While it may feel impossible to mourn the monumental tragedies due to COVID-19, continuing to obey public health guidelines can help minimize future loss. Hopefully, the Biden administration will reinforce independent choices with policies to support all people, and a vaccine will further ease the struggles our country and world are facing.

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ART

Art by Linnea Baerenwald

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


VOICES

The Problems with the Pill A cautionary exploration

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BY SYLVIA RANI Since gaining FDA approval in the 1960s, hormonal contraceptives have been lauded as magic pills that would liberate women from the oppressive structures of enforced motherhood. By giving women control over their fertility, hormonal contraceptives (also referred to as the pill) would allow them the choice to decide precisely when or if they would bear children. Fast forward to 2020, and hormonal contraceptives are the most common form of birth control in the United States. To reach this point of such widespread adoption, much of the conversation about the pill has focused on the benefits: for the individual woman, for her family unit, and for society at large. Unfortunately, this emphasis on the positive has largely obscured the discourse about the very real risks that exist alongside these benefits. Hormonal contraceptives are unique as prescription medications because they do not treat a condition nor enhance the normal function of the body. Rather, they serve to impair the normal function of a body system: the reproductive system. The hormones in the pill prevent ovulation by mimicking pregnancy. Chronic usage of the pill is essentially a long-term disruption of the endocrine system. Consequently, this disruption has other varied effects on the user—some of which do not appear until years of continued use, and most of which are linked to inflammation. There is a large body of emerging research on the health risks of the pill, and I would encourage anyone taking this medication to look into it, but in short: The pill is not completely harmless. There are risks associated with its use, and the burden of these falls on the person who decides to take it. Unfortunately, medical providers often fail to draw women’s attention to these risks. The contrast between the medically approved literature on

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the pill versus the actual experiences of women who use it is frankly disturbing. On the Planned Parenthood website’s information page for the birth control pill, it reads: “Most people on the pill won’t have any problems at all.” This is a blatant lie. If you are a woman who talks to other women, you know that while some have few issues, many more have had a terrible time on the birth control pill. Denying, minimizing, and ignoring concerns about side effects and long term outcomes is medical gaslighting, and it poses a real threat to health decision-making autonomy. Women are increasingly turning to online forums such as r/ birthcontrol to discuss their lived experiences with this medication, likely because the medical field has refused to acknowledge their realities. The suppression of information about the issues with the pill is not new. In the 1970s, women’s health advocate Barbara Seaman brought the health risks of the pill to a national stage. After a decade of uncomfortable side effects and increased mortality rates, Seaman and other feminists organized congressional hearings in which they questioned the safety of the pill and demanded full disclosure of its health risks. Up until this point, the hormone dosage was extremely high and there were no warning labels or mandatory information inserts included with the medication. The pill hearings exposed the ugly reality of a medical-pharmaceutical establishment that had continually evaded transparency and responsibility for its harms.

is, “But think of the alternative… would you rather be pregnant?” And this bravely presented yet false dichotomy is the most infuriating part of the discussion. The alternative to hormonal contraception is not pregnancy. The alternative to hormonal contraception is condoms, cervical caps, diaphragms, spermicide, the sponge, fertility awareness, sterilization, and other hormone-free methods that approach similar levels of efficacy. If we are to move towards a world where women are truly liberated, it is essential that we provide them with all the information they need to make decisions about their health. This means informing them of the risks of hormonal birth control as well as providing them with ample alternatives. It means questioning the male-dominated pharmaceutical industry that has used women as unsuspecting lab rats for decades. And it means thinking critically about how hormonal contraceptives have become the default for birth control despite their well-documented risks, persistent side effects, and viable alternatives.

I know what you may be thinking: Why does this matter so much? Sure, the birth control pill may not be perfect, but it performs an important—even essential—service: controlling birth rates. When I discuss this topic with logical, science-minded people, the response I receive most frequently

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VOICES

Legacy and Leadership The two are (or should be) interconnected 2

BY ELLIE ROTH “What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” So goes the lyrics from the Broadway hit musical, “Hamilton.” The play revolves around Alexander Hamilton’s obsession with leaving his mark on the world, and his desire to be remembered for years to come. Like so many leaders throughout history, Hamilton worried that certain events in his life (remember Mariah Reynolds?) would taint his precious legacy. Why do we, as humans, care so much about the version of ourselves that remains in people’s minds after we’re gone? Why do leaders try so hard to create something that will outlive them? On December 9, 2000, 32 days after the presidential election of that year, there was still a chance that Al Gore could win the election. The Florida Supreme Court had ordered a statewide recount in Florida, a state where George W. Bush held a narrow lead of only 537 votes of the six million cast. On that day, under the watchful eye of news cameras, election officials visually examined ballots that had not registered a vote that could be picked up by a machine. But it didn’t matter. That afternoon, the Supreme Court issued an emergency order stopping the recount until it heard the case of Bush v. Gore. Justice Antonin Scalia wrote that the continuation of the count threatened irreparable harm to Bush by tainting the legitimacy of his presidency. A big Supreme Court battle would follow, but it would be irrelevant—Al Gore lost the presidency the day the Supreme Court stopped the count. When Gore heard the news, he sent a message to staffers: “PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE TRASHES THE SUPREME COURT.”

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When John McCain appeared on stage in Arizona the night the election was called for Barack Obama, his words were not ones of anger and spite, but rather hope and humility. At the first mention of Obama, the crowd erupted into boos and jeers. But McCain silenced the crowd—he raised his hands, shook his head, and said, “Please.” As the audience quieted, McCain went on, “I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together… Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans.” The audience ended up applauding in agreement with McCain’s words. Despite just losing the presidential election, McCain urged his supporters to be hopeful, open minded, and willing to accept Obama as their new president. John McCain knew that part of his duty was to allow a peaceful transition of power, and the power of his words in this moment reverberated throughout history to today. His legacy is one of careful, thoughtful leadership, of putting the good of the country before his own ego.

Our legacy is born not just from our triumphs, but from how we act when we are at our lowest. When we are defeated. It is created from when the world is watching and when the world is not. For leaders, how they act in defeat should not overshadow the legacy they strive so hard to create. Legacy is a check on power for modest leaders; they fear the backlash of an angry public, and so they try to do what is right in that moment. But maybe we have passed the point of modest leadership. A leader like Trump, so unable to accept defeat or allow for a peaceful transition of power, doesn’t care about his legacy. He doesn’t care about building something for future generations to come. He will not be humble or dignified. The story that will be told will not be one of a kind man—it will be a story of a child who had to be dragged out of the highest office of leadership in American government. The history books will be kind to the men and women that lead with grace, dignity, and humility. The ones who set aside their differences in order to make this country better. The history books will not be kind to President Trump.

When Biden was declared the winner of the 2020 election, Trump took to Twitter to angrily accuse the election process of being corrupt. He wanted to stop the vote in all states that he was winning, and “count every vote” in the states he was not. He claimed, with absolutely no proof, that absentee ballots were illegitimate, and that the Democratic Party was stealing the election. As I am writing this article, it has been nearly 20 days since the election was called for Biden, and Trump has yet to concede. This refusal to concede will haunt his legacy, undoubtedly wiping out any possible good he had done in his four years in office from memory. Why does Trump not care about his legacy?

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


VOICES

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We Need a New MTV A new decade calls for a new MTV. BY PETER NOMELAND MTV, in its prime, was absolutely the center of the culture, cultivating almost everything we think of when we think of the ‘90s. The channel, which stands for “music television,” was a platform that elevated artists in ways that didn’t seem possible in a pre-internet time. MTV was the way everyone discovered music and shaped their tastes. Whether it was music videos that would premiere on air, the legendary “Unplugged” concerts they would host, or the MTV Video Music Awards, if you were an artist or band in the ‘90s with a following, you could probably attribute at least some of that success to MTV. The list of artists that were elevated by the channel is insane, and I couldn’t possibly list them all here, but some standouts include Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Madonna, Bjork, Tupac, Biggie, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Fiona Apple, Green Day, the Beastie Boys, and the WuTang Clan. So why am I singing the praises of a network that hasn’t been relevant in over a decade? Because it needs to become relevant again. Or at least something like it needs to take its place. A lot has changed since the heyday of MTV, including how we consume music and television. Today’s listeners access their music through streaming services

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such as Apple Music and Spotify, and music videos rack up millions of views on YouTube the minute an artist tweets it out. And, let’s be honest, outside of sports and election results, when was the last time you watched something on live TV? So one could argue that there isn’t a need for an MTV in the age of the internet, and that’s technically true. There are countless ways artists can promote themselves, and thanks to streaming, finding new music is as easy as it’s ever been. But MTV was a place that allowed artists as different as Madonna and Nirvana to have the same level of popularity at the same time. It showcased everything to everyone, allowing for people to cultivate their music tastes. Today, there are more genres and tastes than ever before, with more people having access to music than ever. And there’s the biggest argument for MTV. What made the network special is that it was something that appealed to everyone, from the mainstream to the counterculture. But it also created zeitgeist— shared common knowledge of what the biggest and best in music and culture was. When an artist dropped a buzzy new music video on MTV in primetime, it was all anyone could talk about the next day, inspiring conversation and debate

between the audience. New music comes out so fast today that it feels like the discussions surrounding the music and the artists ends as soon as it starts. A place like MTV, if done right, could allow these conversations about the artists that are cultivating our culture to more of a shared experience. Last week, the Grammy nominations were released, and like every year for the past decade, the internet went into an outcry about how out of touch and wrong the nominations were. Among the artists snubbed was The Weeknd, one of the biggest stars in the world, who back in September had a critically acclaimed performance of “Blinding Lights” at the all-virtual VMAs. The video the performance was based on went on to win Video of the Year, and yet there was little chatter on the internet about the whole show. Here is where a new revamped MTV could kill two birds with one stone. A new MTV, with an emphasis on our current superstars like Mr. Weeknd and Taylor Swift, as well as exciting up and coming artists, could lead to a new age of music fandom where we get an accurate representation of what the culture is representing.

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VOICES

Is the Internet Ruining Our Memory?

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Does Watching Reality TV Make You a Creep, or Are You Like Everyone Else?

We no longer need to think for ourselves because search engines will do it for us... BY SYLVIA RANI When I was a child, I remembered everything. From my family’s phone numbers and license plates to the names of all the major bones in the human body, I was an information hoarder. I would learn things with the implicit purpose of remembering them for as long as possible. Sometime between then and now, Google entered my life and changed everything.

A look into how voyeurism resembles our reality TV watching habits BY ELLIE ROTH Reality TV—the genre of television we all love to hate, yet it has us glued to our television screens nearly every night. It’s currently “The Bachelorette” that is controlling your college student airwaves. If you walk past any apartment building in Dinkytown around 7 p.m. on a Tuesday night, you can see the TV screens all with the same image—men in suits, women in sparkly dresses, botox, faux sets, and orange-y reality TV lighting. The same story retold every year is attracting more and more sets of eyes and revenue. Why is it that we can’t get enough of these cheesy, unrealistic, and staged stories? What keeps us glued to our TV screens?

I have noticed something that I am becoming increasingly concerned about: I no longer remember things. I don’t remember what I did last week and I don’t remember my own license plate number. I don’t remember how many pints are in a gallon even though I’ve definitely Googled it before, probably multiple times. When I consider why I no longer remember things, it makes me a little bit sad and a little bit scared: I’m no longer trying to remember things. Memory, at its core, is stored information. My growing reliance on Google and external sources has reduced my ability to remember things because I simply don’t have to. I no longer need to remember what I did last week because I have photos in my phone of anything significant that happened, and I don’t need to remember how many pints are in a gallon because I’m one Google search away from that information. This is a common process referred to as “cognitive offloading,” in which the human brain will choose to rely on the external environment in order to reduce its cognitive demand. It’s an efficient way to free up space for higher-level thinking, but as a habit, it can damage our ability to retain and recall information.

A study by Turkish psychologist Lemi Baruh exemplifies how our gravitation towards reality TV can be understood in the context of voyeurism. Voyeurism is defined broadly as a disorder that causes a person to gain pleasure from watching unsuspecting individuals. Sounds creepy, right? Baruh’s study revealed that voyeuristic tendencies are strongly correlated with the consumption of reality TV. Participants were asked to rate whether or not they agree with the following statements (from 1 for strongly disagree to 7 for strongly agree): 1. I enjoy watching television programs that help me get a peek into people’s private moments. 2. I like television programs that show a side of people that I would not normally see. 3. I enjoy watching television programs that provide access to things that people try and hide.

While this might not sound too problematic (“If Google can remember for me, why should I?”), we need long-term memory in order to synthesize old and new information and reach novel conclusions. So while it might be tempting, we should be mindful of how often we resort to uploading the contents of our brains onto our phones. Our creativity literally depends on it.

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When combined, the average total for all three of these statements was 10 points, with the highest individual score for statement 2. In the cases of television, people may have voyeuristic tendencies because they enjoy any chance to see what they would otherwise be unable to see when the curtains are left open on others’ lives. Reality TV is the backstage pass. We can imagine what we would do in outlandish situations (“The Bachelor” or “Survivor”) or how we would live if we were famous (“Keeping Up with the Kardashians”).

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As humans, we love the chance to escape into another person’s life. We like to watch. To observe. We make up little stories about the people sitting next to us on the train or walking past us in the park. Reality TV allows us to pretend to be someone else for just a moment. Maybe that’s why it’s so popular, especially right now. In the context of our confusing and sometimes scary world, we all would love the chance to be someone else, even if it’s just for a two hour primetime slot on ABC.

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


VOICES

Wasting Away During Quarantine The coronavirus’s impact has been hard on people and the environment. 3

BY IZZY TEITELBAUM The choice between public safety and the planet’s safety is made every day. It’s a constant balancing act, and we’ve been thrown off balance by a pandemic. COVID-19 forced people into lockdown, which at first sounded like a break for the planet. A moment for mother nature to take a deep breath and relax. This meant better outdoor air quality, less household food waste, less energy emissions, and a decrease in deforestation. However, these things did not come without a cost. We’ve regressed back to a single-use nation. This temporary wastefulness made sense when COVID-19 first hit fast and furious. Fear caused people to lose sight of the greater good and instead to fret over their own mortality. The nation reacted by plastic wrapping itself to safety. People were no longer allowed to use their reusable bags in stores, individual pieces of food were being prepared in plastic, and with takeout orders increasing, so did the accompanying singleuse silverware and packaging. For self-serve stores to be able to open back up, such as froyo places, each customer has to wear a new pair of plastic gloves when creating their treat. The amount of waste keeps climbing higher. The pandemic has been present in the United States for almost eight months, which is a significant amount of time for our new habits and protocols to have an environmental impact. The waste from plastic products will outlast the fleeting environmental benefits observed during the early stages of the pandemic. This isn’t even taking into consideration all the medical waste that’s a THE WAKE

necessity for health workers. Medical waste and hazardous disinfection routines especially have increased, creating more ecological risk from harsh chemicals. The World Health Organization increased its request for PPE by 40%. China had nearly six times the medical waste during the peak of the pandemic than they did before. People are hard on the planet, our growing habits and needs are a disruption. The sheer number of people is too much for it to keep up with. The denser the population, the quicker a disease spreads. Problems tend to arise when there’s overcrowding, which is often linked with lower-quality and less hygienic living conditions. This is the ecosystem’s way of saying, “Stop having so many goddamn children.” Our planet is not equipped to handle so many humans’ needs. We caused climate change, and, in turn, climate change created more favorable conditions for the spread of diseases. Rapid deforestation has forced animals to migrate toward living closer to people, and along with animal agriculture breeding animals like crazy to keep up with human demands, the spread and mutation of diseases can occur. No one is to blame for this knee-jerk reaction, and with essential workers putting themselves at risk, the best form of protection is necessary. A big problem is that plastic has become the cheap option due to the oil market’s collapse. Besides scaling back waste in the medical community, it’s important that non-essential workers and others get creative quickly to minimize any more harmful effects of COVID-19. The pandemic has been hard

on everyone, so the relationship between our efforts to be eco-friendly and our need to maintain a safe environment has become wildly unbalanced. They’re often portrayed as separate issues when, in reality, they’re deeply intertwined. People have been forced to get creative, helping to reduce the stress on the planet any way they can think of. The rise of reusable masks is one of the most common ways people have chosen to combat new waste. Buying cleaning spray instead of wipes, refilling hand sanitizer containers at a local brewery, wearing washable gloves, and buying local to reduce transportation waste are all good steps. We just need to remember that they are little steps towards greater change. We need to take more drastic actions, individually and through legislation, for longterm change. We have to emerge stronger instead of reverting back to a majority of people either unaware or ambivalent about our planet’s health. We should be listening and learning from COVID-19. When we get a vaccine distributed, things need to do more than go back to normal. The constant prioritization of convenience in the name of human health over environmental health cannot sustain us. All of these plans for an eco-friendly future in 2050 seem like a pipedream, too far away to save us. It’s too vague, too distant, and not urgent enough to counteract the population’s effects on the environment. We need real, difficult, and substantial change for our planet to remain a beautiful place to live.

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VOICES

A Love Letter to My First Love How I fell in love with you, again

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BY DANIELA KUNKEL-LINARES To My First Love, I fell in love with you when I realized how special you made me. Not everyone in Mrs. Theresa’s pre-K class knew how to speak two languages; that was something only the Kunkel sisters knew how to do. No one else got to feel like a spy speaking in code to their partner in crime, their little sister, on the playground—talking about how someone wasn’t sharing the good swing, that was close enough to the ground for my feet to touch, and plotting how we would take the swing back. You made me feel connected to my land, where the green and rocky Andes Mountains stand strong, their histories of fearless hijos del sol lingering in the clouds above them. Connected to my people, who bluntly say what is on their minds and speak a clever mix of Spanish and Quechua, always remembering who they were before the Conquistadors. The pride I felt in being able to perfectly roll my r’s when asking my mom to make my favorite dessert, arroz con leche. Comfort in being able to tell my abuelitos how much I missed them, not needing my mom to translate for me. You made me so proud and so comfortable in who I was when I was 4 years old, and yet you made me so angry. You made me frustrated when my monolingual

classmates outpaced me in standardized tests while I was learning how to express myself in both of my native tongues. You made my parents anxious that I wasn’t learning to read or write as quickly as my classmates. Looking back, I see we weren’t doing anything wrong. It was natural to be behind—I was learning two languages and was bound to level out by the second grade. If only we were more patient. If only I knew that I would never be able to forgive my parents for putting an end to us. If only I knew that I would never be able to forgive myself for not fighting it. I remember my mom and dad coming into my room before bed one night and my dad saying, “Daniela, we aren’t going to read books in Spanish anymore. You go to school to learn and speak English.” My mom’s eyes lowered. The overwhelming fear of me not reaching the same benchmarks as my peers was enough to put an end to our relationship. I was no longer going to be able to learn everything about you. As if the better I could understand you, the closer my family would be. The closer the four thousand miles between my family and me would feel.

with you. I no longer had vivid dreams or had thoughts pass through my mind in Spanish. I stopped bringing Peruvian food to school in my lunch box. I let my friends make comments about how my mom had a stupid accent. I let them take every bit of pride I had in being a Spanish speaker—every last bit of you I had left in me. It’s painful to think of how much of myself I had to, and allowed myself to, give up. I am fearful of giving up that much of myself again. As much as I hate how much of myself I lost, I found a new love.

I quickly moved on from you. English took over my thoughts and my ability to be in love

Read the rest of Daniela’s story

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DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


REVIEWS

Songs

Adrianne Lenker BY SYDNEY HAINY I often find that I am the most vulnerable person in the room. When I feel an emotion, I do not hesitate to state it plainly, to lay it out for all to see. I always wish that everyone would meet me with the same honesty. Adrianne Lenker does just that, packaging her emotions into a holistic experience for the listener. Lead singer of “Big Thief” and Minnesota native Lenker recently released her third solo album, sparked by the loneliness of a breakup coinciding with the start of lockdown. Plainly titled “songs,” she wastes no time on grievances or uncertainty. The instrumentals match the lyrics: they are stripped down, with only acoustic guitar and light drums. After retreating to an isolated cabin in the woods of Massachusetts, Lenker found herself writing almost unwillingly, not yet in the reflective part of heartbreak, but still in the thick of the hurt. What results is a reflection of that, the most honest and pure version of her current state. Writing for Lenker can be more accurately described as a conjuring up of words, more intuitive than conscious. Her voice rings clear like a bird’s song, strong and unwavering. It knows that it doesn’t owe anything to anyone. It is sure of itself. Lenker immerses the listener into her life, riddled with questions of love, home, and emptiness. “Half return” mentions coming THE WAKE

back to her childhood home, yet what is reality. To hold her hand, to kiss her again, to meant to feel familiar feels foreign. It doesn’t be home with her, are all things she longs feel like home now; it never did. Although for, though knowing them to be impossible most of the songs describe love, or perhaps and not fully wanting them herself. “Not a lot, the absence of it, it seems Lenker does not just forever” breaks away from her longing, know what she wants. The A side of the as Lenker steps back and realizes the bad album is filled with delusion and yearning, parts of the relationship that she had hidden begging to be with her lover one more time. from herself. It’s knowing that something In “anything,” she pleads for them to shut should come to an end, but savoring the one out the world and take a moment to be good moment before it all falls apart. She together, repeating “I don’t want to talk about acknowledges her own imperfections as a anything/I don’t want to talk about anyone.” way to show her partner that she is aware That feeling of being whole, of becoming of her wrongdoings. It is stated explicitly in a part of someone else, is what Lenker so “dragon eyes” that she “doesn’t want to blame” tenderly remembers. Close to the beginning and “doesn’t want to tame” the person she of the album is “two reverse,” where her love was in a relationship with. She is tender with leaks through. She wants nothing but to take these words, if not remorseful, as if tucking care of her partner once more. them away for later use. As you move through the tracks, Lenker becomes more and more self-aware. On the B side, she captures the moment when you know you are suffocating them, but you cannot bring yourself to stop. You need that person to know how you feel, no matter the consequences. Lenker questions the gaping hole left after they inevitably leave. “Oh emptiness/tell me about your nature,” she asks, considering if emptiness as an entity could be worthwhile. “Should I savor this pain?” she seems to be imploring. Other moments are tenderly detailed, each tinged with the fleeting nature she knows to be her

With her album “songs,” Lenker allows us to experience loneliness collectively. Her album mimics the nakedness that results from having the comfort you hold so close be unexpectedly ripped away. The listener can feel her pain, and at the same time find themselves left with the same emotions. Our loved ones may drift away, just out of reach, and there is nothing we can do to stop them. We have no choice but to let go. When we do, Lenker’s album will be here to remind us that something worthwhile can come from the pain. She reminds us to be vulnerable. She reminds us to feel.

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REVIEWS

PUSH NOEL

BY CARTER STARKEY There is a very common feeling that I kind of hate. That feeling of trying to start something new, only to end up abandoning it, having it collect dust in the corner of your room, or buried somewhere deep on your hard drive. Deep inside, we all think that maybe someday we’ll dig that stuff back up, and put our minds into making something we are proud of. Noel Miller (or simply NOEL) did just that. His father bought a bunch of musical instruments in the 80s only for them to end up in storage, so NOEL took them and made this—his first solo project—“PUSH.” Fans may know NOEL from the semi-satirical rap group Tiny Meat Gang. This time, NOEL went solo on a quick five tracks over 10 minutes with one real goal: to prove that he is serious. NOEL has the fan base and has already found success, but “PUSH” is his attempt to show that he’s not satisfied with the funny stuff. The music is as captivating as the story. NOEL brings well-crafted bars over top of low-key instrumental beats that can shift gears in a second. As a show of pure talent, NOEL even directed the music video accompanying “Lennon’s Ghost” and “Crow,” featuring visions of NOEL floating off the ground or hanging from the top of a speeding car. NOEL could be seen as a continuation of the trend of other creatives moving into music. NOEL even references Donald Glover, a.k.a. Childish Gambino on track 1, “Lennon’s Ghost,” who is the most prominent example of this trend. It isn’t lost on anyone, least of all NOEL, that the transition between passions is another opportunity to see what you’ve got, to prove that you’re up to whatever challenges are in front of you.

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Blood of Zeus

Don’t Watch Unless You’re Bored BY SAGRARIO TORRES FLORES Upon hearing that Netflix had a “Greek Anime,” I was intrigued. The idea was creative—bringing two different cultures into one for entertainment. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Going in, I intended to focus on the cultural overlap, but was distracted by the sloppiness of the introduction. The first episode dives into the action, but it was more overwhelming than it was exciting; I had trouble distinguishing who was who and the timeline of events. Halfway through, I couldn’t remember if I had seen these characters before or if everyone just looked the same. Don’t get me wrong, I like to analyze what I watch. The thing is, this episode demanded more attention than I was willing to give to an introductory episode. Maybe I’m too critical, but it took a lot of willpower for me to watch the second and third

episodes. However, I wanted to give it a fair shot. From what I’ve seen, the episodes and events that follow are predictable, but become more interesting. I’ll give this show credit where it’s due—as I followed the story of Heron, the illegitimate son of Zeus, I expected the storyline to stay focused on his growth after realizing and accepting his parentage, but was pleasantly surprised to see the show follow a jealous Hera and a not-so-slick Zeus. The drama that ensues is enough to make you lightheartedly raise an eyebrow; it makes you care enough to get a gist of what’s going on, but not enough to make you feel anything for the characters. The little investment I have in the characters and what happens to them makes this show good background noise when working or a fun piece to critique when you’re bored.

DECEMBER 14 — JANUARY 25


REVIEWS

Hey u x BENEE BY VISHALLI ALAGAPPAN The rising New Zealand alt-pop artist BENEE, born Stella Rose Bennett, raises the bar with her much-anticipated album “Hey u x” after blowing up on TikTok this summer with her song “Supalonely.” BENEE’s third album pairs artistic versatility with emotional vulnerability to illustrate her anxiety and loneliness. The album opens with “Happen To Me,” an indie track featuring BENEE’s iconic smoky vocals and a continuous loop of breakbeat and acoustic guitar. “Happen To Me” sets the stage for the album with an artful and earnest reflection on the artist’s habit of overthinking everyday activities and events. The lyrics display darker undertones that touch on the deterioration of her mental health in light of the ongoing pandemic. “Happen To Me” transitions into “Same Effect,” a breakup song that expresses longing for an abusive ex to fill the void of loneliness. The song is easy on the ears, with its bouncy beats and BENEE’s warm, hazy vocals. BENEE’s genre-hopping within this album is evident in “Sheesh” featuring Grimes. “Sheesh” is an auto-tuned EDM song reminiscent of 90s house music, a lighthearted song about not feeling a romantic spark with someone who the artist knows would be good for her. This laid-back track feels out of place in BENEE’s journey through deeper, darker emotions arising from a place of isolation. It still slaps though. “Sheesh” is followed by the TikTok hit “Supalonely,” featuring Gus Dapperton. This song brings upbeat lo-fi disco beats together with melancholic lyrics to create a pop THE WAKE

anthem that flippantly explores sadness and self-deprecation. At the heart of the album sit my favorite songs: “Snail” and “Plain” featuring Lily Allen and Flo Milli. “Snail,” a groovy, eccentric song about BENEE’s fascination with snails during quarantine, is written from the perspective of a snail describing its freedom and asking the artist to hang out. The breakup track that follows exudes the sassiness of Lily Allen and Flo Milli, mocking an ex-boyfriend and their “new missus” to assure the artist that she has the upper hand. I was unsure about Milli’s appearance on an indie-pop song, but Allen and Milli’s verses elevated the track and consolidated the bad-b*tch vibes in this chill, breezy song. Although the song is empowering on the surface, the lyrics come from a place of isolation and reveal the artist’s attempt to fit in with the world after the breakup. The seventh track of the album, “Kool,” has an upbeat, distorted sound with funky rock riffs and contrasts BENEE’s forlorn lyrical admiration of someone who is “so effortlessly cool.” The tone of the album shifts with “Winter,” featuring Mallrat, an elegant piece with a moody guitar that pairs well with BENEE’s throaty vocals and Mallrat’s angelic verses. The abstract lyrics delve deeper into anxiety and self-isolation. The pared down, melancholic love song that follows, “A Little While,” is a bass-heavy track that describes the anxiety of getting into a new relationship after an abusive one.

“Night Garden,” featuring Kenny Beats and Bakar, is a hypnotic, hip-hop influenced song that confronts paranoia and insomnia head on. The lyrics illustrate the paranoia of being watched and BENEE’s smoky vocals fit the sleepless, zombie aesthetic perfectly. “All the Time,” featuring Muroki, illustrates depersonalization when under the influence of alcohol or narcotics. The trippy song has a hazy, blurred feel to it that mirrors the lyrics and complements Muroki’s warm, smooth vocals and BENEE’s detached attitude. This pandemic album reflects on the various mental health struggles of quarantine, including substance abuse. “If I Get To Meet You” has an eclectic, dreamy sound that is drowned out by the preceding tracks. It is beautifully written and skillfully produced, but this downcast, skeptical song about the genuineness of romantic interest after BENEE’s rise to popularity is not best placed as the twelfth track. At this point in the album, the structure requires another shift in tone, like “Sheesh” or “Snail,” and the sound of “If I Get To Meet You” is discordant to conclude the album with. The album ends with “C U,” a cute, romantic song about loving someone but being apart. It’s a song about escapism and the beachy, soft, melodic vibe emphasizes the fantasy of the track. “Hey u x” is an incredible album that expresses the youthful emotions and challenges of 2020. With this album, BENEE distinguishes herself from the TikTok popstar persona as a “normal idiot from New Zealand” who puts her heart and soul into her music.

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