Tobin — In Loving Memory by Angelique W. Lee

ADVENTURER • BIBLIOPHILE • CRAFTSMAN

In Loving Memory

DMBA

1 My best memory of Tobin was camping with him and I will always know him as the guy that walked his way from his apartment across the GG -$ " /* *0- (+.$/ 2$/# ./0ơ backpack to train for a hike. Ever .$) 2 ǧ1 / '& *0/ (+$)" gear and all the adventures that he wanted to take. As sad as I am to . #$( "* ǧ( # ++4 /# / # *(pleted his adventure of graduating from the DMBA and to have known and loved someone like you Willi. — Anita Wong

# 1 ( )4 ( )4 "- / ( (*-$ . *! * $)ǧ. 2 -( smile. One moment sticks out to me the most. It was fairly recent — during R3 of this year. I was having a rough day. We had just presented for Venture. I went *2)./ $-. !-*( /# ./0 $* Ơ -2 - . /* ƞ'' (4 2 ter bottle, and I ran into him as I got to the bottom of the stairs. And he said in his very Tobin, enthusiastically warm way, “Great job, Joanie!”, and he held 0+ #$. # ) . /* "$1 ( Ǧ#$"# / )ǧǙ / 2 . .( '' moment, but I cannot get it out of my head. I will always remember him as the kind and loving soul that he was. The words that came out of his mouth were always with intention — whether in class, or in a social setting. And I treasure the moments I got /* .+ ) $) #$. +- . ) ǚ ) 2*)ǧ/ !*-" / /# (Ǚ The legacy I will take with me is the value of kindness and intention. He lived and breathed that, and we need more people like that in this world. The + *+' /# / ) ( & .*( * 4ǧ. 4 2$/# .($' Ǚ Additionally, the way he loved our friend Willi, and the way he looked at her with pride and admiration is something we all should strive for in a partner. — Joanie Hudson

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

3 Tobin — the one who had the patience to handle my energy, especially while playing pool, at several parties. He would always be my teammate, even though I was mostly 0. ' ..Ǚ $ )ǧ/ - *0/ 2$)ning, he cared about having a good time. And I bugged him a lot towards the end of the semester, asking about his next relationship milestone for which he had to let me in on all the deets. And he would just smile, blush (a lot), and say to me, “Hey, we just got done with grad school. Cool it!”. And then, he would wink! Dear Willi, you are fortunate to have loved and been loved by such a wonderful person. This is 1 -4 $Ƣ 0'/ /$( ǚ ) 2 ǧ- '' here to support you. Be strong, 2 ǧ'' " / /#-*0"# /#$. /*" /# -Ǚ — Purna Mehta

4 I regret not getting to know Tobin more outside of school, but will al2 4. ++- $ / #$. 2 -(ǚ ơ*-/less support and encouragement.

ǧ'' - ( ( - #$. )ǰ * //$/0 ǚ respect for all team members, and stellar air-guitar skills. More than )4/#$)"ǚ ǧ'' ($.. #$. *) -) !*- all DMBA community members and how we greeted each of us like we 2 - -* & ./ -.Ǚ 2 . "$Ơ /* 0.Ǚ — Britt Veal

5 Tobin always had a smile on his face and warm eyes. He was '2 4. *ơ -$)" /* # '+ ( ) '2 4. ./*++ /* . 4 # ''* ) .& #*2 2 . *$)"Ǚ *Ơ ) Ǩ( /ǩ / /# ($ -*2 1 with him heating up something delicious that he and Willi had made the night before. During the last days of our program I stopped Tobin on the stairway up to the studio and said — I need to talk to you. I had a dream about you. And he gave me this funny look. I said: Not that kind of dream, silly! I had a dream that I needed to tell you what an AMAZING person you are. How kind, how gentle your spirit is and how much I appreciate you. I woke up thinking about you and something told me that I needed to tell you that today. True story. He smiled: Really? I said: Really! Tobin, you are such a beautiful person and I feel so blessed to have met you through school. We gave each other a hug and he rushed down the stairs. I rushed up the stairs. And then he turned and yelled &Ǜ # 1 )ǧ/ !*-"*// ) *0/ *0- $)) - / Ǟ I have wanted to have Willi and Tobin over for a long time now ) 2 # %0./ . / / $) 0) Ǚ "- $/ ./ Ơ - . #**' ƞ)$.# ) /# 0./ . //' Ǚ * $) $. /# &$) *! " )/' ( ) that any mother would die to have as a son in law — thoughtful, caring and smart. I told my children last night that a friend of mine had died but that he was the kind of person that I hoped my boys would grow up to be like. — Carina Wong

Tobin â&#x20AC;&#x201D; June 2018 Wedding in Virginia

DMBA

6 * $) 2 . (4 ƞ-./ 4 -ǧ. . - / )/ Ǚ .& $) /# . - / )/ ( $' Ǩ #$. $. ƞ)$/ '4 )/ ' 0.ǚ 100% genuine and not an impersonator at all reach$)" *0/ 2*) -$)" $! /# - ǧ. )4/#$)" .+ $ ' 4*0 would like for Christmas this year! Or any hints you *0' "$1 ) *' ǚ ' ǚ **&$ ǰƞ'' - $)Ǚǩ ) told him dog toy would be great! The day we had secret Santa party, Tobin and I were sitting next to each */# - $) /# ' ..Ǚ # ) * $) /*' ( # ǧ. (4 . - / Santa, he smiled like a proud little kid and said: “you /0 ''4 .$/ ) 3/ /* 4*0- "$Ơ *3 '' 4 ) $ )ǧ/ notice!” I will always remember his warm smile, and the way he shares joy to the people around him. And the toy he chose, the squeaky hedgehog plush /*4.ǚ 2$'' *)/$)0 /* (4 *"ǧ. ! 1*-$/ 0 $ .Ǚ — Seana Chang

7 Tobin. You were such a brilliant and genuinely kind soul. During the two-year journey of our program, you were always so considerate of bringing me into the fold when

! '/ .#4 *- "$1$)" ( *)ƞ ) 2# ) imposter syndrome got the worst of me. A memory that comes to mind is when we were in China, and you encouraged me to take a photo that you noticed I was too camera-shy to take. You even took the photo for me. You were also "$Ơ 2$/# ) /0- ' . ). *! #0(*- /# / *0' '$"#/ ) 0+ /# -**(Ǚ *Ơ ) !*0) myself cracking a smile around you.

ǧ( "' "*/ /* #0" 4*0 "** 4 / *0- "- 0 /$*) 1 ) /#*0"# $ )ǧ/ &)*2 $/ would be our last goodbye. I wish I had more time to get to know you better. But thank you for the time that you spent with 0.ǚ .+ $ ''4 $''$Ǚ *0 ( $ơ - ) Ǚ — Christin Nolasco

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

8 I feel fortunate to have shared numerous biking adventures and bike-related stories with Tobin. The DMBA program had taken us away from our .$- $& ƞ/) ..Ǚ *2 1 -ǚ * $) "- /* be my adventure buddy and ride from Jenner to San Francisco in the spring of 2018. As the date approached, we both had second thoughts about *0- ƞ/) .. /* '$( *0/ *! /# /$).*) # - of Hwy 1. However, rule #1 of adventure buddies, honor your commitment to the adventure. During that ride, we biked through a downpour of rain that seemed to stay over us for an hour, then encoun/ - /# ƞ - ./ # 2$) .Ǚ #$' * $) $ )ǧ/ complain, I knew he was cold, tired, and hungry. Around the second semester of school, Tobin consulted on a bike rebuild for a friend of mine — who he had never met. Tobin generously donated about three hours of his time to help me +0/ ) 2 .#$Ơ -.ǚ - & .ǚ ) ' . *) # - $& Ǚ ./'4ǚ # )*/$ /# / $ )ǧ/ # 1 - - $& '$"#/ on my commuter bike. One day in the studio, Tobin walked up to me and said, “Joyce, here this is for you.” He wanted to make sure that I was safe at night. Seeing Tobin and Willi together always brought a smile to my face. It was clear that he had deep respect and an increasing amount of love for Willi.

— Joyce Pedersen

I remember Tobin as someone thoughtful, sweet and he had this smile that radiated warmth and kindness. Two weeks ago, the night we were at Butter celebrating last day of class, from the way he made sure Purna was well taken care of, mak$)" .0- .# ǧ. -$)&$)" '*/. 2 / -ǚ '**&ing out for her... from this gesture, I saw a side of him that must be really caring and '**&$)" *0/ !*- + *+' -*0) #$(Ǚ ǧ( .*--4 2 ǧ1 '*./ * $) ) (4 # -/ "* . to you, Willi and your families. I hope you get some comfort from the support, love, and prayers from loved ones around you. — Joyce Lu

DMBA

10 In the second month of school, my second month of knowing him, Tobin and I got into probably the *)'4 ƞ"#/ * $) # /# 2#*' *! "- . #**'Ǚ were at a pool bar (surprise! Tobin owning the pool table!), and I — a little saucy — had apparently broken the house rules. Long story short, I found myself in an extremely tense disagreement with an established local, and, me being me, I was not &$)" *2)Ǚ # /ǧ. 2# ) * $) ./ ++ $) /* **' things down. He told me to “chill” while he sorted /#$)". *0/Ǚ $ .0 ..!0''4 - .*'1 /# ƞ"#/ 2$/# /# '* 'ǚ ) /# /ǧ. 2# ) (4 ƞ"#/ 2$/# * $) " )Ǚ . ./-*)"ǰ2$'' $) + ) )/ ' 4ǚ $ )ǧ/ like the idea of anyone speaking on my behalf. I gave him some choice words — something along the lines of white patriarchy — which threw Tobin for a loop. He claimed all he had been trying to do was help a friend out. We made peace over beers the next night, but, not knowing Tobin well, I still stung with resentment. It took me nearly another year to

- '$5 /# / * $) 2 .)ǧ/ '4$)" ǲ * $) 2*0' # 1 done that for any friend no matter the gender. He was the kind of friend who would without hesitation put his neck on the line to try to make things right. Eighteen months, countless pints, many bike rides, and too many school projects later, for * $)ǧ. $-/# 4 /#$. 4 -ǚ -*0"#/ *4./ -. !-*( Tomales Bay. We sat in the sunshine of Tobin and $''$ǧ. &4 - ) - )& . ..$*). ) .#0 & Ǚ I remember most distinctly him giving me a tour of the new home. He (and Willi) had built the bookshelf wall divider, a hidden sliding spice rack, and a set of hooks to tuck away their stove top. He must have demonstrated the tucked away stovetop multiple times! He was so proud of the home and the life he and Willi were building together. — MC Abbot

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

11 My bicycle rear tire had been stolen. I needed to replace it. Who else should I turn to but Tobin for advice? I think Tobin thought that because I am also a Professor of Mechanical Engineering that of course I should know all about the numbering system on rear derailleurs. He went into a long (???) explanation about the ins and outs of various derailleur whatchamacallits and thingamajigs and the advantages and disadvantages of something and another thing, all of which *(+' / '4 Ɵ0((*3 ( Ǚ Ǹ $. 3+' ) /$*) might have lasted only 1 minute!) At the end, he could tell, I was only politely nodding! So he responded, now you know how we feel when you speak in R! I feel so fortunate to have had a regular and familiar relationship with Tobin, the &$) *! - ++*-/ 4*0ǧ # 1 2$/# !-$ ) Ǚ &$) ǚ gentle, humorous, helpful, polite, and endearing person is what I will remember about Tobin.

— Andy Dong (Chair of the DMBA)

A treasured memory of Tobin is when he and I went to see Cradle of Filth — an admittedly high school guilty pleasure, but a show we were both stoked to attend nonetheless. Tobin got there before I arrived, and you could see he looked perfectly at home: sporting some awesome graphic T shirt, casually sipping whiskey by the bar, gently banging his head to the heavy music surrounding him. Once the headliner started and chaos engulfed the crowd, Tobin sprung into full head-banging support: screaming out cheers and throwing his hands up, letting loose the occasional guttural roar honed from his days of being lead vocals in a band. Tobin was always the best partner in partying crime — the one to leave it all out on /# ) Ɵ**-ǚ $)$/$ / 2#$.& 4 .#*/ ) a game of pool, or simply turn the volume up one more notch. His passion, energy and )/#0.$ .( 2 - "$Ơ /* 0. ''Ǚ 2 - supposed to see Amon Amarth in October; what I would give for just one more song. — Liz Demakos

DMBA

13 I was never in the same team during class with Tobin, but he taught me the most valuable thing in our time at the DMBA; which was to go out and enjoy life at the fullest. I wouldn't become who I am today without meeting Tobin, striving /* #$ 1 3 '' ) Ç&#x161; '2 4. Ć&#x17E;) $)" /# ) 3/ competition or the next big opportunity. I was very fortunate to hang out with him outside of school whether it was golf, house party, sea ranch, outdoor activities, and all the crazy bar nights. Tobs was more than a colleague but a true friend, genuine heart, kindest soul I met on this planet. Without meeting him, I would probably have never ' Ć /# #*0. Ç&#x2122; * . # ) *0/"*$)" .+$-$/Ç&#x161; ./ -/ all the activities channels, and always wanting to do big things, a true â&#x20AC;&#x153;yes! Let's do thisâ&#x20AC;? person. I still remember that day when we were waiting for the boys before golf, and you talk about how you 2 )/ /* *( Ć&#x17E;) ) $ ' ) '4./ 2*-&$)" 2$/#

- / 5' /Ç&#x161; 4*0 ( $/ * .Ç&#x17E; *0 # 2 ''Ç° - Ć *Ć˘ .+ / */# - 0+ -$*- Ç˛ 4*0 2 - .* # ++4 .#*2$)" *ĆĄ '' /# Ć&#x17E;) ) $ '.Ç&#x161; # .* (0 # %*4 . $)" #*2 4*0 3+- .. /# Ć&#x17E;) ) $ '. !-*( */# - Superior to the venture project. I remember the time we were at Sea Ranch, and we were by the rocks far *ĆĄÇ&#x161; ) '' /# + +. - ) & /* /# .#*- Ç&#x161; 2 . )*/ sure to keep going as it was slippery, but you were so brave and encouraged me to keep going, and we got a chance to see those purple sea urchins and mini crabs. Memorable things would not have happened without you; thank you for always going further. Tobs brought everyone together, connected culture !-*( $ĆĄ - )/ + -/. *! /# 2*-' /*" /# -Ç&#x161; ) made me look at the world in a kinder lens. You are a hero Tobin, so dearly loved and respected. So sadly missed. You are in our thoughts and prayers. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Sitti Som

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

14 The thing that struck me most about Tobin was his kind and unconditional regard for people. I never had the chance to work with Tobin, but no matter how busy we were in the throws of DMBA, as we passed each other on the way to class he would always look me in the eye and say, “Hey Alyssa, how are you?” with his hallmark sincerity. I recall the many warm and friendly chats over drinks post residency, or around the microwave as we ate our lunch in the studio (his always prepared lovingly by $''$ǹǙ ǧ1 - /# / /-0./ ) # - / - are built not in grand gestures, but in the small moments with consistency, and Tobin was a master of that. Reading through these stories, his kind, humble heart of gold is recognized by so many, and made him so well loved in our cohort and by all the friends, family, colleagues and even acquaintances who remember him.

so much deeper than a social nicety. It was a commitment and a vision they lived by. # 4 Ơ - # $ ǚ 2 '' " /# - / #$. ) $''$ǧ. 0/$!0' '$//' #*( Ǚ # ' ./ time I had been there, just a month earlier, was in a spirit of light-hearted celebration on 4/20, when Tobin shared his pride for the home him and Willi had made togeth-Ǚ #$. /$( $/ 2 . ƞ'' /* /# -$( 2$/# tearful friends, food and heartache. Later on, Karin led a guided meditation in the backyard, and we all held hands in a circle. She asked us to put all our love for Tobin in the center, and to take three deep breaths /*" /# -Ǚ ǧ'' ) 1 - !*-" / 2# / # ++ ) ) 3/Ǚ (( $ / '4 Ơ - /# /#$- 3# ' ǚ great big crack of thunder boomed in the sky. Unmistakable in his divine timing, To $)ǧ. .+$-$/ 2 . / '&$)" /* 0.ǚ - .+*) $)" /* *0- 0)$ƞ '*1 ) "-$ ! $) /# (*./ powerful way he could. I saw in that moment the immense mystery of the life we - "$1 )ǚ ) /# $) - $ ' "$Ơ # # made of his to all who were lucky enough to know him. Tobin, I will never forget you.

$. &$) ) .. 2 . *)'4 Ƣ-( ) (+'$ƞ $) #$. + -/) -.#$+ 2$/# $''$Ǚ remember once saying something judgemental about a teacher to Willi, and I still remember her looking at me with eyebrows raised, in her gentle way, asking me if that was necessary. I checked myself and in that moment I saw with new 4 . #*2 # - ) * $)ǧ. &$) ) .. 2 .

— Alyssa Burtt

DMBA

16 Something really magical about Tobin is how he made me feel like I was his old friend, some*) .+ $ ' /* #$(ǚ 1 ) /#*0"# $ )ǧ/ " / /* spend all that much time with him. He was one *! /# ƞ-./ Ʀƥ. ( / ) # $(( $ / '4 " 1 *ơ /#$. "- / 3 $/ ) -"4ǚ ) . ( /* - ally go all-in on everything, coming out to all the events and always deep in excited conversations. I picture him in the sun at Thee Parkside right in the middle of everyone, laughing and smiling and making everyone around him laugh and smile too. When he had to get up to get another beer it must have taken him forever to get back "* /# / ' .$) # ǧ ./*+ ) . 4 #$ ) "$1 big friendly hug and smile to everyone, all of us on the way. It was intimidating to show up as an alum and not know many people there, but he was always so welcoming and made me feel like I was in the right place, doing what I was supposed to be — which is an incredible way to make others feel.

15 The impressions of wonderful Tobin that will stay with me are his heartfelt, earnest intentions and as Alyssa so aptly described, his tangible regard for others. We were teammates in Innovation Studio and the two of us were sorting out product dev + ƞ) ) $ '. 2#$' $) #$) Ǚ # /2* *! 0. # ) brainstorming on the bus, hashing out one option Ơ - )*/# - 2$/# "- / !* 0. ) ( &$)" "** +-*"- .. ǲ 2 2 - $) Ɵ*2Ǚ 0/ 2 2 )/ /* -0) it by Robert, so we ended the day in the hotel bar with Robert over impressively tall beers. When Tobin presented our questions to Robert, he beamed with enlivened curiosity and a positively hope!0'ǚ Ǩ 4 * ǚ 2 ǧ- "*)) ƞ"0- /#$. *0/ǩ //$/0 Ǚ You could tell that Robert was enjoying our happy struggle! We had further brainstorming with Robert and ended the trip knowing exactly how we needed to move forward. Hoist those tall beers! #* 2*0' )ǧ/ 2 )/ .*( *) '$& * $) *) /# $- / (ǡ #* 2*0' )ǧ/ 2 )/ .*( *) '$& * $) /* celebrate accomplishments with? I will forever miss the love and light he brought to our world. — Stacey Fischer

I loved getting to hear all about his venture project on several of these occasions; it was clear how passionate he was about the concept and about how it helped people, and how he was really diving into this thing and giving it his all. He brought so much to this beautiful, chosen DMBA family — and of course, Willi, his love for you was so obvious and powerful. I am grateful to have gotten to know his infectious smile, and to get to spend time with him through these stories. — Allison Cooper (C9)

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

17 1 - /# + ./ /2* 4 -. /# / Ç§1 &)*2) * $)Ç&#x161; /# - were many interactions that demonstrated his warmth, generosity, spirit for adventure and love for life: him inventively â&#x20AC;&#x153;McGuyver-ingâ&#x20AC;? wooden 2x4s to the roof of my -Ç&#x161; ./ 4$)" ' / /* # .# *0/ Ć&#x17E;) ) $ '. *) *0- +-*%ect, patiently teaching me to set a wall anchor and beam$)" +-*0 '4 2# ) Ç§ *) $/ .0 ..!0''4Ç&#x161; ) /# ( )4Ç&#x161; many joyful dances and air guitar solos during nights out. One interaction that sticks in my memory came af/ - Ç§ # ) 2&2 - (*( )/ $) ' ..Ç&#x2122; Ç§ +0 '$ '4Ç&#x161; passionately challenged an instructor, an outspoken (*( )/ - /# - 0)'$& (4. '!Ç&#x2122; Ć -2 - .Ç&#x161; Ç§ .# ( .+$- ' Ç&#x161; !- //$)" /# / Ç§ *1 -./ ++ *0) -$ . *- ) $.- .+ /!0'Ç&#x2122; Ć - 1* '$5$)" /#$.Ç&#x161; * $) '**& / ( ) . $ Ć˘-( /$1 '4Ç&#x203A; Ç¨ *Ç&#x2122; *0 -*0"#/ $/Ç&#x2122; ) it was awesome!â&#x20AC;? It was a simple gesture that simultaneously calmed my anxiety yet made me feel powerful. It was exactly what I needed at that very moment. When I read through these collective memories and - Ć&#x; / *) (4 *2)Ç&#x161; 2# / ./ ) . *0/ $. #*2 * $) 2 . a changemaker at the individual, micro level. There was something so unique about the way that he approached his relationships and interactions with everyone, whether you were a close friend, casual acquaintance, or a complete stranger. Over a lifetime cut well too short, his countless acts of kindness had such an incredible impact on everyone who crossed his path. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Laurel Adams

( / * $) 0-$)" *0- Ć&#x17E;-./ *(munity dinner at the beginning of fall R1 in Ć§ĆĽĆŚĆÇ&#x2122; 2 . - ) ) 2 ) $ )Ç§/ &)*2 )4one yet. I felt awkward at this taco truck dinner and I was especially intimidated by the wise and experienced C10s who were even less familiar to me than my C11s. Tobin approached me with his warm, friendly energy. We had a genuine conversation about our goals and backgrounds. I remember thinking what a wonderful person he is to come up to me, brand new and make me feel comfortable. It was a beautiful way to bring me into the DMBA community and it set the tone for the rest of my experience for the year. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Erin Schnair (C11)

The last time I saw Tobin was there at Ventures a couple weeks ago. He, Willi and I fell into a lovely conversation. As we stood talking I noticed, oddly, Tobin was on my right ) $''$ /* (4 ' Ć Ç&#x2122; Only this time they were in the same room at the same time and facing each other. Their joy was plain to see as they shared the beautiful story of their evolving relationship. How / Ć&#x17E;-./ /# 4 #*. /* & + $/ ,0$ /Ç&#x2122;

19 * $) /**& #$. # / *ĆĄÇ&#x2122; ) /# 1 -4 Ć&#x17E;-./ 4 *! /# 1 -4 Ć&#x17E;-./ . ( .ter of our LiveE class I admit I got on To $)Ç§. . Ç&#x2122; .0"" ./ - (*1$)" #$. . ball cap. I said something teacherly like he was hiding his power and presence. Tobin listened, smiled his indelible smile and kept it on. This continued through the semester even as I went on nudging him each residency. For his part he was always polite, always smiled and the hat remained. Ç¸ 2*- *0/ * $)Ç§. .($' Ç&#x2122; # '$ #Ä&#x2021; â&#x20AC;&#x153;a twinkle in his eyeâ&#x20AC;? is accurate in his . Ç&#x2122; $. .($' ) 1 - ! $' /* Ć&#x17E;'' ( 2$/# warmth). I loved having Tobin in my class. He always sat to my right near the front of the room. $''$ 2 . (4 ./0 )/ /# / Ć&#x17E;-./ . ( ./ - /**Ç&#x161; ' $/ $) $ĆĄ - )/ . /$*)Ç&#x2122; $& * $) she sat towards the front of the room but '2 4. *) (4 ' Ć Ç&#x2122; I go on Sabbatical. A year plus passes. I attend Ventures and give thanks now I did.

Willi spoke in her marvelously animated way as Tobin listened. Until we got to the subject of their respective strengths. Tobin beamed speaking of how in addition to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wooâ&#x20AC;? they had â&#x20AC;&#x153;Individualizationâ&#x20AC;? strength in common: they recognized each other. Tobin was fully present, no shying away, soaking it all in. And lo and behold Tobin no longer shaded his peerless power (my assessment and I can ground it!) under a hat. Under his gentle demeanor he was as complex as the best of us. Our circle of DMBA has so many smart, bril'$ )/Ç&#x161; Ć&#x17E; - + *+' Ç&#x2122; ++' 0 /# /Ç&#x2122; ) yet. Moving ahead other qualities are required. Ones that in retrospect we see Tobin possessed. Whether he agreed or not there was always this willingness to him. Willingness is central to learning. When I found out Tobin and Willi were in a relationship it made all the sense in the world. Chalk it up to my ear as a teacher of communication but in considering Willi, Tobin, her name, this quality - Tobin had a willingness and Willi showed up in his life. # " ./0- *! - (*1$)" *) Ç§. # /Ç&#x2122; *2 $/ $. *0- /0-) Ç˛ 2 / & *0- # /. *ĆĄ /* /# .#$)ing example Tobin set for us. Tobin was a "$Ć ) # . )*2 *( *0- / # -Ç&#x2122; May he continue to be an example of the path of kindness, gentleness and willingness. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Elle Yaven (Live E Professor)

DMBA

20 I think of Tobin, and I can only think of him happy, busy and fun whenever I saw him in class or on zoom. That is how I want to and will keep thinking of him. I love that he was totally about doing—and making things happen. His energy was infectious, and it made me happy to be around.

)ǧ/ . 4 $! /# - $. '$! *- )4/#$)" Ơ - /# but what we carry with us of the people we love and care about. But I have experienced that there is some energy that is real and palpable from those 2 '*1 2#* - "*) Ǚ ! $/ǧ. * $)ǧ. ) -"4 $/ 2$'' that breeze that makes you feel better, that happy sweet air around you that makes you remember to smile and to laugh and to make things happen. — Michelle Kaz (Business Law Professor)

/ǧ. # - !*- ( /* ,0 / '4 3press the totality of Tobin or the singular presence he was (and still is) in the DMBA community. His great, wide, dimpled smile dispelled any shadow around him. It was at once gleeful, heartfelt, warm, inviting, exuberant, joyous and could encompass everything and everyone around him. Tobin was our Chesire Cat: a magical being who could appear and quietly disappear, his smile preceding him into a room and then mysteriously, wondrously '$)" -$)" *) 1 ) Ơ - /# - ./ *! #$( # ' ƠǙ I think about that now. That smile, and the crack his passing # . ' ƠǙ # - ǧ. 1*$ ǝ ) 4 /ǚ

not. Re-read these memories. In every one of them is that smile. Lingering on. Still gleaming. $Ơ$)" ( "$ ) 2*) -Ǚ *- 4.ǚ ǧ1 ) '$./ )$)" /* the Leonard Cohen song called. “Anthem”. Its key refrain: — Ring the bell that still can ring; *-" / 4*0- + -! / *× -$)"Ĵ there is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. Thank you, Tobin, for cracking ( ǲ0.ǲ0+ǝ ) 2$ *+ )Ǚ # /ǧ. #*2 4*0- '$"#/ "*/ $)Ǚ Ring the bell. — Susan Worthman (Associate Chair of the DMBA)

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

22 4 !*) ./ ( (*-4 *! * $) $. /# ĆĄ*-/' .. '*,0 ) he showed with his words. I always had an eye for his usage of idioms in the least expected moments of class-**( *)1 -. /$*)Ç&#x2122; *( / '' ( $/Ç§. ) ./ * ./ /#$)"Ç&#x2122;

2*0' )Ç§/ &)*2Ç&#x2122; ) 4 ' ./ . ( ./ -Ç&#x161; - $1 )*/$Ć&#x17E; /$*) $) (4 . #**' $) *3 !-*( +*./ * $) .0 ($// on Moodle. It was a critique he shared on slide presen/ /$*) '' Ç¨ -/$Ć&#x17E; $ ' Ç¸0)Çš$)/ ''$" ) ÇŠÇ&#x2122; $(( $ / '4 opened the email on my mobile and began reading. After 3 minutes, I was there sitting at the edge of my couch ' 0"#$)" 0) *)/-*'' '4 !-*( * $)Ç§. )/ -/ $)$)" 2-$/ing. I immediately emailed him back telling how much I enjoyed reading his post. To which he responded â&#x20AC;&#x153;thanks Pooja! I had to have a little fun with this one, glad you )%*4 $/Ç&#x17E;ÇŠÇ&#x2122; # /Ç§. * $)Ç&#x2122; &) 2 #*2 /* Ć&#x17E;) %*4 $) ** ' +*./.Ç&#x161; *- $( "$) Ç&#x161; )4 *! '$! Ç§. 0'' ./ /#$)".Ç&#x2122; I will miss Tobin for the kindness and love he showed every time I walked up to him for a chat or the excitement he shared when he learned about my new job. I will miss the cheer I heard in his voice in a tone I think he reserved for me every time he greeted a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey Pooja!â&#x20AC;? from the end of the studio. I will miss his gen0$) ĆĄ /$*) !*- . $)" /# ./ $) '' *! 0.Ç&#x2122; * $)Ç§. time with us is a teaching of how to lead the way with kindness and his passing a reminder to let nothing wait between you and life. I pray and hope, Willi, and 4*0- ! ($'$ .Ç&#x161; Ć&#x17E;) /# *0- " ) *(!*-/ /* - 1 this tough period of personal loss in the strongest way. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Pooja Vijay Kumar

23 People like Tobin are few and far between. 2 . *)Ć&#x17E; )/Ç&#x161; 2 -(Ç&#x161; -) ./Ç&#x161; #*) ./ and had an acute appreciation for the absurd. His humor was sly and never at the expense of anyone. He was deliberate and sturdy. He had an intense attention to detail /# / - Ć&#x; / */# $) #$. 2*-& ) /# 2 4 he would tell stories. He once described to me, in great detail, the problems he was having with a motor. He used words and parts that I had never heard of. He knew I had no idea what he was talking about but he told the whole story without cracking a smile. It was funny for him and that was good enough.

2$'' ) 1 - !*-" / * $)Ç§. 4 . 2# ) # smiled â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he would squint and get crows feet. I will never forget how quickly he accepted me as a friend. How intently he listened. How deliberately he responded. People like Tobin are few and far between, but his demeanor is contagious and I know that a little bit of him will carry on within all of his friends. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Alex Neiman

DMBA

24 Tobin was an absolute gem of a human. A positive force and an eternally optimistic problem solver. His smile shone with and without that beard!

ǧ'' '2 4. - ( ( - #$. .($' ǚ #$. #0".ǚ #$. explanations of things that seemed straightforward and simple to him, his karaoke duets with James, his love of a good beer shared with good friends, ) #$. .4 . ). *! #0(*0-Ǚ ǧ'' ($.. 4*0 !*- all of those things and so many more Tobin.

joined and we got down to business. He brought a warm and calming perspective to everything.

Another beautiful memory I have of Tobin is his ability to put anyone at ease. I had just temporarily relocated from Amsterdam to San Francisco, when we had just started the DMBA, and ended up going hiking at Stinson Beach in Marin with Tobin, Willi and Suz. We were all new friends and Tobin just had such a calm and easy going manner about him that One of my favourite Tobin moments was cruising $)./ )/'4 ( 4*0 ! ' '$& 4*0ǧ &)*2) #$( '*/ back to SF from Novato, having just presented to our longer than you had. We hiked for a few hours and ops client. The sun was shining, Tobin was driving ended the day on the beach, looking out at sunset over $''$ǧ. - Ǹ2#$ # .# # &$) '4 '* ) /* *0- the water, drinking beer and watching the fog roll in. team), I was riding shotgun and Änna and Christin were in the back. We were all in a great mood, Finally, a more recent memory of Tobin was his laughing and joking, and Tobin put his roadtrip beaming pride when we hosted a few of us for dinner playlist on and we were all singing along — he knew at his share house in SF. He was proud for so many every word to the fried chicken song and belted it - .*). ǲ # 2 . .#*2$)" *ơ #$. "- / +' ǚ '' *! #$. out! That project I spent a lot of time with Tobin, and handyman achievements (that bed/storage combo!), *) /#$)" /# / -*0"#/ ( '*/ *! %*4 2 . * $)ǧ. and most of all he was proud to be co-hosting with Zoom call punctuality that was on par with mine! Willi! The happiness literally radiated from him. It We were both always just a minute or so early and was a great evening with delicious food and wine .* 2 ǧ # 1 ! 2 (*( )/.ǚ %0./ 0. /2*ǚ /* / # shared among friends with buckets of laughter. 0+ *) # */# -.ǧ '$1 .ǚ !*- /# - ./ *! /# / ( — Clare Satterthwaite

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

25 Tobin believed in our big, crazy Mother Superior idea and showed up with his whole self to share that dream and make it a success. 2*-& /$- ' ..'4 *) *0- ƞ) ) $ ' (* '.ǚ # '+ /* '*. *0- 1 -4 ƞ-./ +*-/!*'$* '$ )/. ) gently let us know that he wanted to ”do a little bit of work on that copy”. He measured, planned, bought, transported, built and installed our new *Ƣ *) - )&'$) /- /Ǚ 2 . '2 4. *2) !*- ) Ơ -)**) -*% / 0$ .0+ -!** #*/ *coa run. * $) ) + -/ !*- /# ƞ) ' /$( !-*( /# / *Ƣ Ǳ # /0-) /* ( . 2 2 - 3$/$)" ) . $ ǚ Ǩ *ǚ ǧ( .* +-*0 *! 4*0 ) '*1 4*0Ǚǩ gave me one of his huge, signature Tobin bear hugs. * $)ǧ. ($- /$*) ) + '*1 !*- $''$ - $ated from him. He was so proud the future that they were working toward together and of what we had already accomplished.

ǧ- "*$)" /* " / /#*. 2#$/ * - . $)./ '' and make him so proud. — Jo Marini

Tobin shared a special bond with everyone # $)/ - / 2$/#ǚ ) ( )* $ơ - )/Ǚ * times in the studio where we would have casual conversations or when he would come up and check on how I was doing before residencies or to times, we spent talking about -. ) 2#$.& 4 Ơ - . #**' / -Ǚ Being away from home for the last two years, Tobin and Willi were part of my support system, which always made me feel loved and cared for. Thank you for always being there, and I will forever cherish the time spent with you. Having seen Tobin working in school, he worked hard to be the best he could be, 4*0 # 1 *) 0. '' +-*0 Ǚ # 0*-0( will never be the same without you brother. — Satwik Polkampally

DMBA

27 * $) 2 . /# ƞ-./ Ʀƥ "- 2 $)./ )/'4 !*) *!Ǚ *2 *0' *) not, with that charismatic, infectious energy and ability to make just about anyone feel warm inside. I remember meeting him !*- /# ƞ-./ /$( / /# Ʀƥ 2 ' *( $)) -Ǚ #$' (*./ *! 0. were sheepishly acquainting ourselves with all the new faces -*0) ǚ !0( '$)" /#-*0"# $)/-* 0 /$*). ) Ǧ # / -*0"#/ 4*0 /* /# +-*"- (ǡǧ ,0 ./$*).ǚ - ( ( - #$( $)/-* 0 $)" #$(self with the kind of ease and excitement that one might expect when running into a long lost friend. As many have said before me, Tobin was that rare combination of witty, sharp and most importantly, kind. His enormous smile and generous hugs were enough to let you know that you were important to him, regardless of how tiny a role you played in his life on a day to day. The ability to make everyone around #$( ! ' .* .+ $ ' $. 2# / ǧ'' - ( ( - * $)ǧ. .0+ -+*2 - .ǚ '/#*0"# . 2 &)*2ǚ # # ( )4Ǚ ǧ( !*-/0) / /* # 1 .# - many wonderful moments with Willi and Tobin through Archit, and will continue to hold them very close. Willi, you are not alone. Sending much love and prayers your way, now and always.

28 * $)ǧ. .($' 3+- .. #$. $)credible positive energy, his generosity, his humor, and his warmth. For three Saturdays during the second semester of the DMBA, Tobin and I set up time to work on our Market Insights project. Our task was to "* ƞ) + *+' *) /# ./- / /* $)/ -1$ 2 *0/ *0- / (ǧ. #4+*thetical virtual reality product. ) /# / ƞ-./ /0- 4 Ơ -)**)ǚ we met up in Hayes Valley. Tobin greeted me with his great energy ) .($' ǚ ) . $ ǚ Ǩ '-$"#/ǚ ' /ǧ. start talking to people!” Tobin saw my reluctance to start approaching people on the street. Tobin took a step back and said, “How about a slice of pizza?” We got a slice, sat on the black/*+ 4 /-$ $ ǧ. - ) $) 4 . Valley, and picked some people to approach. From there, Tobin

— Nayanika Sharma (C9)

and I had our process down and for the next two Saturdays, we met up, got the pizza, and had a blast talking to random strang-. *0/ 1$-/0 ' - '$/4Ǚ ǧ'' ) 1 - !*-" / * $)ǧ. $'$/4 /* $.+ ' (4 ! '$)". *! 0) -/ $)/4 4 *ơ -ing his warmth, generosity, and - Ǚ *- ( ǚ /#*. .0))4 Ơ -noons in Hayes Valley encap.0' / * $)ǧ. *+ )) .. /* /# world, his inviting spirit, and the easy and joyful way he lived. He had such a great, witty, and genuine way about him. We were all so deeply blessed to know Tobin. Tobin taught me the value of being genuinely kind, warm, and bringing positivity in every situation and I treasure those lessons. — Jessica Straus

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

29 It is hard to compress into a few lines all the things I admired in Tobin, or to compile the memories in a co# - )/ ( )) - */# - /# ) /# / *! (4 ($) Ć&#x;*2Ç&#x2122; # following are some brief, related and unrelated stories that are part of the memory of Tobin that will live on forever in the form of conversations among friends that loved him and will remember him everytime we meet and miss him. Tobin had a view of life that was much about showing up, enjoying the moment, and sharing that moment with others. He was one of the most purposeful listeners I have ever meet, Tobin truly listened when you spoke to him. He locked his sight and patiently and presently followed the conversation. He listened because he knew you cared and he cared about you, even if not so much for the story. His comments and his contributions were always thoughtful. He was quiet, until he was not. He took $/ '' $)Ç&#x161; *(+*. #$. $ Ç&#x161; - Ć&#x17E;) $/Ç&#x161; ) Ć&#x17E;) ''4 ( back with a few words that were always presenting a rich insight. He was always respectful, always encouraging, and yet discerning. He lived in the moment. He told me about the summer before joining the program, he quit his job and went on a cycling and camping trip with a friend. One day, they met a guy that told them about a river that rarely got any water but that at the moment was very full and running # - Ç&#x2122; /*' /# ( /# / 2$/# /#*. *) $/$*). /# - Ć -

ing was unbelievable. So they biked there the next day ) 2 )/ *) - Ć $)" 1 )/0- Ç&#x2122; He liked to build things. Tobin shared this passion to build with Willi. Not only did they build shelves and other neat furniture for their apartment but they also shared a vision for creating a better world by being entrepreneurs. When Clare and I started talking about creating a group for entrepreneurs, Tobin was one of /# Ć&#x17E;-./ + *+' /* .#*2 .0++*-/Ç&#x2122; - ( ( - #$( ing highly engaged in the design sprint we hosted, he led the conversation that drove us to create a space for *$)"Ç&#x161; !*- /$*)Ç&#x2122; 2 )/ /* 0$' ./0ĆĄ ) # $ Ç&#x2122; %*$) $''$ ) * $) - /$)" */# - 0+ -$*-Ç§. Ć&#x17E;) ) $ ' ./-0 /0- Ç&#x2122; 0$'/ ) ( 5$)" - ' /$*).#$+ with Willi. He built an amazing bond with so many of us. He built these memories. ) *) 4 Ć - /# "- 0 /$*) - (*)4Ç&#x161; .# - my last drink of the night with him. He was the last person I had a conversation with before I walked out of the bar. He gave me a big congratulatory hug for the shared accomplishment, our MBA graduation. It is so real and present. I will never forget that. I walked out of that bar looking forward to seeing him and Willi again in a month, to sharing travel adventures together, and to making taco and tequila night happen. Tobin you will be missed so much. I promise you will live on in our memories, in every gathering you will be present. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Jimena Guijarro

30 It seems impossible to write down Tobin in all of his color and beauty — though I knew Tobin for just two years, it felt as if I knew him for a lifetime — for that was the magic of Tobin. He innately understood how to make you feel known and cared for. With a hug and a smile # .# - #$. 2#*' . '!ǚ # .# - . 'Ɵ ..'4Ǚ It made his presence a beacon of light — an old soul who must have known you well before your time together. Memories of him come to me in snippets and waves. The remarkable and fantastic way he *0' *)/*-/ #$. * 4 *) /# ) Ɵ**-Ǚ $. unbridled laughter and joy when he came up with a comical phrase for your presentation like Ǩ ) + $)/* .'$( %$(ǩ *- Ǩ *'4 *2ǚ & -!0ƣ Ǚǩ The way he could wrap you in a hug and would *)'4 ƞ)$.# /# ( - 2$/# .# -+ Ǩ(((ǩ ) '$Ơ$)" *! #$. .#*0' -.ǚ . $! 4*0- #0" # given him some personal spark of energy. He wore his best attributes on his sleeve, for 1 -4*) /* - '$.# ) .& $)ǝ # ) 2 +' 4 +**' /*" /# -ǚ 2#$ # 2 . *0/ . *Ơ ) as we could manage, he showed how exceedingly talented he was at the tasks he set his mind to. His laser eyed focus and nimble hand work as he struck the cue ball was something to behold, and in spite of what seems like hundreds of games, I only managed to best him a handful of times. Through it all he was the most gracious winner, pointing out an excellent shot I had made even 2# ) # # .' 0"#/ - ( ǝ # ) # 0$'/ /#$)".ǚ # .#*2 #$. + ..$*) !*- - Ơ$)" ) his unmatched creativity. I remember going with him to the Alameda Flea Market — He was determined to make the most out of his tiny living quarters in Hayes Valley and was searching for a few space saving items. He wandered the stalls with such excitement and focus, pouring over odds and ends and giddily telling me what he was )1$.$*)$)"Ǚ - ( ( - $)" Ɵ0((*3 . #

+-*0 '4 .#*2 *ơ #$. ƞ) $)". / /# ) *! *0- haul — a single rib from a wine barrel, a handful of heavy railroad nails, and a metal plaque with ) ( *.. --*2Ǚ *0' )ǧ/ +*..$ '4 $( "$) / /# /$( /# 0/$!0' # ) - Ơ #**&. # 2*0' make, or how his brain could puzzle it together !-*( /# . $.+ - / + -/.ǝ # ) # - !0''4 helped Willi into my backyard for a Memorial 4 ǚ )*/ (*( )/. Ơ - .# # .+- $) # - )&' ./ ++$)" *ơ /# 0- ǚ # .#*2 #$. unwavering commitment to supporting others. Not just by how patiently and tenderly he cared for those he loved, but his unwillingness to skip *0/ *) %*1$ ' " /# -$)"ǚ .+ $ ''4 2# ) # ǧ +-*($. /* // ) ǝǙ # ) # -*0"#/ ( *) (4 ƞ-./ &+ &$)" /-$+ ) - #$/ǧ. ƞ-./ (+$)" trip full stop, he showed us his remarkable spirit of adventure. Archit, Tobin, Willi, and I had drunkenly marked our calendars at Thee Parkside three weeks earlier, and when the time came we set out for Stanislaus National Forest. Upon arrival, 2 ' -) !-*( + -& - )" - /# / * $)ǧ. *-$"$) ' destination, a favorite lake of his, was ablaze in !*- ./ ƞ- Ǚ * $) # ++$'4 !*0) - .+ / ' (and safe) alternative, and fearlessly guided our foursome up a steep incline with our packs in tow. We settled into our campsite and celebrated the #$& ǧ. ƞ)$.# 2$/# *' - 2 ) '/ *! 0'' $/Ǚ # / )$"#/ 2 . ƞ'' 2$/# ' 0"#/ -ǚ ) (0.$ ǚ and stories, and love. The next day we hiked up a neighboring ridge and basked in the view before us, unfettered and in perfect harmony staring out across the world together. He lived each moment so fully and purely. I will spend the rest of my life learning from his shining example, seeing each moment for its joy and potential. I will miss you my dear friend. — Suz Okie

DMBA

31 Here are a few small things that were great about Tobin. He was incredibly witty, the way he wrote things, his perspective on everything, would always - & ( 0+Ç&#x2122; *( /$( . /# 4Ç§ .* 2$//4 %0./ $ )Ç§/ 1 ) &)*2 2# / /* . 4 )4(*- Ç&#x2122; 2 .)Ç§/ !- $ *! being weird. He would mention some weird band he likes and my ears would perk up, like, "how did you know about them??" I also loved how as good as he was at pool, he didn't care about being on a team that was good, but just that people had fun.

that my input was valuable and my work was good. -*( /# ) *)Ç&#x161; 2 . *)Ć&#x17E; )/ ) 3 $/ *0/ participating and contributing in my groups. I also never thought anybody would notice, and the fact that he did, also made me realize that the changes I was making to my life really crossed over to my schoolwork and how I interacted with my classmates.

Tobin could have never said anything. I know I was $Ć˘ 0'/ / /# "$))$)" *! /# 4 -Ç&#x161; # *0' Ç§1 %0./ glossed over all of that but the fact that he decided to While I could recount countless more things about reach out and tell me how I was doing so well really 2#4 * $) 2 . ( 5$)"Ç&#x161; Ç§( "*$)" /* / '' ./*-4 ( )/ '*/Ç&#x2122; *- /# ) # Ç§'' 1 - &)*2Ç&#x2122; 2*0' about the larger impact that he made on me. Tobin always tell me how he thought I improved at the and I were randomly placed on a large number of end of every semester, and it was always genuine groups together at the beginning of the year, like !-*( #$(Ç&#x2122; / 2 .)Ç§/ '$& # 2 . /-4$)" /* "$1 ( so many projects that even our classmates would accolades, he even admitted himself that he feels mention it. For one thing or another, I was having like he would get so nervous presenting (unless it a hard time adjusting. I am incredibly shy when it was to play a funny character or something), and he comes to meeting new people and I wasn't doing my ! '. '$& # Ç§. $(+-*1 '*/Ç&#x2122; 2 . .* .0-+-$. /* best work because I was dealing with a lot of things. # - /# / !-*( #$(Ç&#x161; 0. # Ç§. '2 4. ) .0 # The fact that I wasn't contributing in the best way cool, self-assured person, but that was the best part I wanted to made me want to just pull back even about him. He was so real and genuine to everybody, more, and the combination of things just made Ç¸/# /Ç§. 2#4 # # Ç¨2**ÇŠ -$"#/ÇĄÇš /Ç§. )*/ /# / # *0' me more withdrawn. Tobin was cool-headed Tobin build a rapport with anybody, but that he wanted to throughout all this, he helped us get done what we build a rapport with everybody. needed to get done.

Ç§( $)" $) '$)&. *! /# /2* +-*% /. 2 2*-& However, it wasn't until Spring semester that I started *)Ç&#x2122; *)Ç§/ &)*2 $! )4 * 4 '. # . 1$ * '$)&. /* changing some things and getting rid of some things the TUSM, but here is: https://youtu.be/4qv9u2C5_ that was holding me back and I began to change. I 2 - Ç§. 2# / 2 $ !*- 0.$) .. * '.Ç&#x161; didn't really see this at all, I didn't see how the two Tobin spent the whole day with Liz, and then helped 2 - *-- ' / Ç&#x161; 0/ *) *! /# Ć&#x17E;-./ + *+' /# / me with writing and narrating it, we kept trying to actually pointed it out to me was Tobin. Here in the .) & $) %*& . 0)/$' 2 2 - '$& Ç&#x161; Ç¨*& 4Ç&#x161; ' /Ç§. )*/ / & thick of things, with all the craziness of groupwork, it too farâ&#x20AC;?. Tobin told me he noticed I was really coming into (4 *2)Ç&#x161; /# / Ç§1 ) (*- *+ )Ç&#x161; + -/$ $+ /$)" https://youtu.be/TYg8_grdaAE Arya, Tobin, and I more, and then he told me that I should really give were on the same strategic foresight team. He was .* +.4 # !*- /#$. *) +/Ç&#x2122; #$. /0 ''4 $.)Ç§/ *0- my input more because I do really good work. Ć&#x17E;) ' +-*% /Ç&#x161; 0/ /#$. $. /# 1 -.$*) 2# - 4*0 ) A lot of things changed for me just because Tobin said watch Tobin act. (https://youtu.be/4opGmPc_H8g that and took the time to tell me that. From having /#$. $. /# Ć&#x17E;) ' 1 -.$*) 2# - * $) #*. /# .*)" .* (0 # /-*0 ' /# Ć&#x17E;-./ . ( ./ - ) )*/ - ''4 and everything). speaking out about anything, just by him mentioning â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Norinne Cheng that it helped me become more self-assured, to know

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

32 Tobin has been there consistently for me in the past two years, like a thread leaving a trail on my grad school map experience. My early memo-$ . *! #$( Ơ - *)'4 # 1$)" ./ -/ . #**' ! 2 days prior are of him passing me on his bike with Suz in Hayes Valley. I was out with a friend in the neighborhood and when he saw us he stopped to say hello. He gave me a warm hug and made his way straight into my heart. I remember turning to my friend and saying how encouraged I felt having made the choice to go back to school knowing there were people in class like him. From that day forward getting to know Tobin felt like uncovering /- .0- ƞ'' 2$/# "** ) ..Ǚ # - 2 . )* */#-

er like him. Tobin was a beautiful person through and through and I feel fortunate for having been in 3 groups, working closely together with him. When we were looking for a volunteer actor for *0- '$- */ +-*% / # . $ Ǧ4 .ǧ /* /# -*' 2$/#*0/ hesitation. He was such a joy to work with, enthusiastic and fun, fully committed to the task. During /# ƞ'( .#**/ . 2 / ) - ) .#4 .$ *! * $) I had not known before. He wanted to do good and also felt humble about being in the spotlight of the camera. But he faced the challenge head on and let me direct him like a professional would, delivering + -! / ( / -$ ' !*- *0- ƞ'(Ǚ # - 2 - (*( )/. when I thought to myself that it was quite possible he was unaware himself of how deeply beautiful he was. Tobin was such an inspiration in how to lead with positivity and kindness in any situation. Tobin saved me so many times throughout school from failing that I stopped counting. Whether it be / /$ ' #*( 2*-& # '+ 2$/# ƞ) ) *- / . /.ǚ or emotional support being stuck in phases of personal stress, he was there. Each time when Tobin asked me, “How are you”, he would look straight at me with a pause of patience long enough for me to be certain that he intentionally asked, never using the phrase as just a greeting. Tobin loved seeing my kid when I brought him to school which made me feel seen in my personal life. * $)ǚ ǧ - /# - )*/ 2-$/ /#$.ǚ ǧ - /# - )*/ # 1 $/ - ' /# / 4*0 - "*) !-*( /#$. 2*-' ǚ ǧ - /# - & + ƞ) $)" 4*0- .($'$)" ! *0/ /# - 2# - 4*0 made so many people feel special with your never ending kind spirit. We just walked graduation together, we lined up sipping whiskey from your vin/ " Ɵ .&Ǚ #0"" ) 4*0 '**& / ( . 4$)"Ǜ “We made it.” Writing this will solidify that we lost you, leaving behind only the memories. Rest assured you will never be forgotten in my heart. And you are right buddy: “We made it!” — Judith Basler

DMBA

33 to thank my parents at the pre-graduation ceremony and they did. I think my folks were amused by these Tobin has a niece and I have a nephew that are young men thanking them so passionately and were roughly the same age, born only months before the fascinated by anyone all the way from Virginia. +-*"- ( " )Ç&#x2122; # / 2 . *) *! *0- Ć&#x17E;-./ Either way, this is how my parents met Tobin and conversations and a continuous conversation we were happy to have helped his family, even in such would have, being the cool aunt and uncle to these a small way. His death has rattled the world, not just toddlers. /#*. '*. ./ /* #$(Ç&#x2122; # /Ç§. #*2 * $) # 3$ ) When Tobin mentioned needing a playpen I knew Catholic Vigil in Fresno, CA. exactly what he was talking about. Toddlers, amirite? Tobin was the kind of person who was always there I remember being back in Fresno asking my mom for you, so I jumped on the opportunity to be there where it was, digging it out of storage and telling her for him, in my own way. The connections and love all about Tobin, his niece, Willi, how tiny places in this man has shared is overwhelming. This is only SF are, etc. I brought the playpen into the studio and one thread of Tobin that I can write about, but there Tobin was so ecstatic and grateful. It was perfect for are so much more. His love, kindness and beautiful his niece and a lifesaver for his brother and sister-in- humbleness are what I will hold onto. I can't make ' 2Ç&#x2122; ) /# /Ç§. #*2 ( / #$. -*/# - ) - 2Ç&#x2122; 0-$)" sense of this, but I can say that his life is one to be Venture Show, Tobin pulled me aside and introduced honored and never forgotten. How could one man me to his brother, the recipient of awesome playpen. $)Ć&#x;0 ) .* ( )4 + *+' ÇĄ /-0'4 $ Ç&#x2122; Andrew was so grateful for this and seeing these brothers together, I saw the pure kindness and love â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Vanessa Hernandez running through the Shreeve family. They both asked Tobin needed a playpen for our graduation.

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

34 One of my many amazing experiences with Tobin 2 . / $)) - + -/4 / #-$./$) ǧ. #*0. 2# ) !**'$.#'4 .'$ + -/ *! (4 ƞ)" - *) ( ) *'$)Ǚ Tobin quickly ran to me, whisked me out of the -*2 &$/ # )ǚ ) 2 . / -($) /* ƞ3 everything and make it better. He switched into full doctor mode. His voice got octaves deeper and with . -$*0. '**& *) #$. ! # . $ Ǩ &ǚ # - ǧ. 2# / 2 ǧ- "*$)" /* *ǝǩ . 2*0' # 1 #*+ ǚ #$. ƞ-./ order of business was to bring us both a vodka shot before we started doing anything. It made me so happy. Then with the utmost precision and care, he used what we had at the house to dress the wound.

0/ # - '$5 $/ 2 .)ǧ/ "** )*0"# !*- ( ǚ ) was determined to make it perfect. So he insisted that he take me to Walgreens to get the necessary ƞ-./ $ .0++'$ .ǚ &)*2$)" /# / # 2 . "*$)" /* ($.. + -/ *! /# $)) -Ǚ * 2 ' Ơ /# $)) - + -/4 ) walked there. I was in pain but he talked me out of it and kept reminding me to elevate my arm and squeeze my jacket for comfort. He made jokes to get me to laugh and not feel anything bad. He was the + -! / + -.*) /* * /#$.Ǚ Ơ - 2 "*/ 1 -4/#$)"ǚ we came back and he diligently took the time to make sure my hand was wrapped perfectly, even though we missed the dinner. Later in the evening at a bar, he continued to insist that I elevate my arm, and even stood next to me so that I could prop my elbow on his shoulder. My favorite part about the whole thing was that I had complete trust in him the whole time, and I was so honored that he decided to remove himself from a fun evening to make sure that I was ok. This is just one example of how Tobin loved everyone that surrounded him, and wanted things to be perfect for them. He had the highest standards, and would do anything for his loved ones.

( !*- 1 - "- / !0' !*- /#$. .+ $ƞ 3+ -$ ) ǚ ) /# / "*/ /* + -/ *! * $)ǧ. 0/$!0' '$! Ǚ — Katie Nolan

DMBA

36 * $) Ǳ ( ) *! ! 2 2*- . 0/ 2$/# heart of gold

ǧ1 .# - '*/ *! (*( )/. 2$/# * $)Ǚ '*/ *! ƞ-./. $) ! / ǰ # 2 . /# ƞ-./ + -.*) /* take me on a bike ride through the city, the ƞ-./ + -.*) /* / & ( (+$)"ǚ /# ƞ-./ person who taught me how to pitch a tent, /# ƞ-./ + -.*) # ) Ơ -)**) - with in SF and so on. Moments that I will continue to cherish for the rest of life. The moment that resonated with me the most was during our trip to Sea-Ranch right before R4 of our last semester together. It had been a few weeks since we last hung out and as he would say, it was time to “GET TURNT”. We drank continuously from 8pm to 4am and surprisingly we were the last 2 standing, we got into a drunken heart to heart conversation about life and me being my drunk “douchey self” spoke about the grandiose life of private jets, 54-foot yachts ) *2)$)" + )/#*0. Ǚ 0/ ( *ơ . I was rambling on and he said something that will stay with me forever, he said “Bro, 0/ /# /ǧ. )*/ 4*0Ǟǩ

35 May 20, 2019. We were all standing around waiting to walk into our graduation ceremony when Tobin randomly turned around, hugged me real tight, and with a big smile said, “you did a great job, Pily. Great job!” While I know he shared the same sentiment with the rest of our classmates, the way how he said it made $/ ! ' /*/ ''4 " )0$) Ǚ / 2 .)ǧ/ " ) -$ Ǩ *)gratulations” or “nice job,” but a deep-hearted compliment that was directed to me, like if he truly cared. This brief moment is without a doubt not only one of my best memories of Tobin, but of my entire graduation night. Tobin had an authentic power to make others feel welcomed, loved, and cared for. His honest smile and wide hug arms were permanently present to make anyone feel special. Thank you, Tobin, for always making me and everyone around you feel like they have worth in this world. You will forever be missed and remembered in our hearts. Love you.

I stopped. Re-focused my eyes on him and ./ - / #$( $) ƣ ( )/Ǚ *)/$)0 to tell me who he thought I was and he *0' )ǧ/ # 1 ) (*- -$"#/Ǟ / /# / (*( )/ /# /ǧ. 2# ) $/ .*'$ $ƞ /# ! / /# / he was no more a close friend but a brother! He was a man of few words but when he did express his heart and mind, all I could do was stop and listen!

'*1 4*0 -*.&$Ǟ ) )ǧ/ 2 $/ /* # )" again someday! — Archit

— Pily Támara

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

38 One of my favorite moments with Tobin was backpacking in the Stanislaus Mountains. On a whim we decide to hike 20 miles in 3 days with steep inclines and a scorching hot day. As we were hiking Tobin was constantly checking 0+ *) $''$ǚ ( ) ( Ǚ # )ǧ/ ) &packing in awhile and he was constantly checking up on us. “Hey, you guys okay? Need water? You look dehydrated.” While he was constantly making sure we were okay, I soon realized that Tobin was this way with everyone he met on the trail. As soon as our jour) 4 $)/ -. / 2$/# /# $ƞ - ./ - $' * $) was asking every hiker “Hey, how ya doin? How long have you been on this thing? Do you need anything?”

37 Tobin is a beautiful soul. He is so missed. Each (*( )/ # " 1 0. $. "$ƠǙ

I soon realized that Tobin would ask every person he encountered whether they were a stranger or a friend if they were okay. His caring nature was genuine, contagious and real. Because Tobin was such an amazing person, people who would get to know him would then become better themselves.

I cannot count the number of times he caught me trying to leave a party without saying goodbye. And how he called me on my bullshit ex 0. . ǲ 2$/# +' $) /-0/#. ) ơ*-/' .. #0(*-Ǚ * $)ǧ. +-$*-$/$ . - '2 4. $) *- -Ǚ

I was lucky enough to go backpacking, China, bike rides and Sea Ranch with Tobin and because of it, I in turn have become a better person.

As I sneak out of our regular bar — Connecticut )& ǚ * $) .&.ǚ Ǩ2# - * 4*0 /#$)& 4*0ǧ- going?” I give some exaggerated expression of tiredness. “No fucking way,” he responds. Ǩ *2 *Ơ ) - 2 '' /*" /# - '$& /#$.ǡǩ

Tobin, I will miss you like crazy. Thanks to you, I have been able to hike a little higher, cycle a lot farther, and love a whole love bigger.

. " /# - (4 ./0ơ /* ' 1 #$. $-/# 4 + -/4ǚ * $) '0/ # . (4 -(Ǚ ǧ( - 4 /* . 4ǚ Ǩ have to catch the bus!” Without missing a beat, * $) ,0$+.ǚ Ǩ/# /ǧ. '$/ - ''4 /# *)'4 0.ǡǩ

I love you. — Christina Rodriguez (Tobin called me Tina)

Tobin understood how precious each moment 2$/# '*1 *) . 2 .Ǚ ǧ. / 0"#/ 0. )*/ / & that for granted.

/ǧ. $(+*..$ ' /* -"0 2$/# * $) 0. # ǧ. right. And I realize now more than ever before. I will cherish his wisdom forever. — Sam Ha

ƞ-./ *) 2$/# * $) *1 - (*torcycles. He was telling me about his vintage bike, and then one day # $/ / . #**'ǚ ) .#*2 $/ *ơ with pride. I remember how excited he was about the matching saddle ". # ǧ !*0) *) 4ǚ + -! / !*- the bike, same colors, same make. /*' ( '' *0/ ƞ3$)" /# $& ǚ and I remember being in awe of how much work he had done on it. # ) 3/ .$")$ƞ )/ /$( 2 *)nected was over the Econ art installation.. He had a lot of energy for a solution at that time, and I remember being amazed at how positive he was in the face of a pretty stressful situation. I remember asking him how he did it, and this was the beginning of a long path of constant admiration and advice seeking of this positive attitude and seeming inability to get Ɵ0./ - *- ./- .. $) /# ! *! turbulence. That quality, for me, is what made Tobin so special and so unique. I had the opportunity to work with #$( *) . 1 - ' $ơ - )/ / (. throughout the program. He always set an example of both kindness and patience in equal measure. He never lost his temper with me, and '2 4. # '($)" ơ / *) )4 group he was a part of. Always ready to help, always ready to struggle through the learning. I loved his bro -0.# *) - // $) ƞ) ) ǚ #$. *)stant help in accounting, and the way he danced at our parties.

But beyond this, it was the little moments I had with Tobin that felt the most profound. On several $ĆĄ - )/ * .$*). /#-*0"#*0/ /#$. +-*"- ( # a feeling of intense alienation. Somehow, whenever things got super dark for me, Tobin would be right there, smiling at me, and asking how I was doing. The thing that stood out about this was the amazing level of connection when he did. He would wait to really see how I was doing, and he would always do it with a level of reassurance and generosity for the future. He gave me evidence /# / 2 .)Ç§/ '*) Ç&#x161; ) /# / (4 ./*-$ . *0/ #*2 (0 # 1 -4*) # / ( 2 - )Ç§/ /-0 Ç&#x2122; $. .($' was truly infectious, and the small gestures he gave me at some of my most stressful moments adjusting to California and the challenges of the DMBA were literally angelic. He also always had an amazing hack for things. During residency we would share cigarettes on occasion, and once we were smoking American +$-$/.Ç&#x2122; Ç§1 '2 4. # # - /$( 2$/# /#*. cigarettes, they are packed tight and seem to last forever, but not in a good way. One day he showed me how to roll a little bit of tobacco out to make them smokable, and it seriously blew my mind. I 2 . *)1$) Ć - /#$. '$//' # & /# / * $) 2 . a secret genius. Tobin even made a huge impression on my boyfriend, always warmly greeting him at C10 gatherings and giving him so much reassurance about supporting me in the program and in general. He " 1 -$ ) &)*2' " ( )/. /# / *0' )Ç§/ cause I was buried so deep in my work. He told him repeatedly how well he was doing with me, ) #*2 (0 # Ç§ $(+-*1 . - .0'/ *! #$. +- .ence in my life. I loved how he would say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;What the shit?â&#x20AC;? when 4*0Ç§ / '' #$( .*( /#$)" !0))4 *- .$''4Ç&#x2122; One time I remember riding with Brian through the Golden Gate park and watching a couple of "$-'. *) . **/ - ! '' *ĆĄ /# $- $& / ./*+ '$"#/Ç&#x2122; The passenger was drunk I guess, and she lost bal ) ) ! '' -$"#/ *ĆĄÇ&#x2122; # */# - "$-'Ç&#x161; /# -$1 - tried to keep their balance but lost it as her passenger fell and they both toppled over. We were going to a party when this happened, and as soon as we got there I made a beeline to Tobin to tell him what I had seen. We laughed sooooo hard about it. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What the shit?â&#x20AC;? he said.. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They fell, right *ĆĄÇĄÇŠ Ç¨ Ç&#x17E;ÇŠ 3 ' $( Ç&#x2122; # 2 ' 0"# .* (0 # that night.

4 ' ./ .$")$Ć&#x17E; )/ ( (*-4 *! * $) 2 . / *)necticut Yankee; he, James and Archit were play$)" +**'Ç&#x161; . (*./ *! /# *#*-/ ' Ć !*- ) spot in the Castro. Brian and I were about to leave too, when I saw them, and I decided we should stay for a short bit longer to play some pool with them. Archit, in his drunken state, made some ambiguous comments about being future cowork-. /# / *0' )Ç§/ $+# -Ç&#x161; 2#$ # ' Ć ( '$//' anxious, and I remember turning to Tobin to ask in my repeated frustration about what I was doing that made it so hard to work with me. And that night, even though I had completely put him on the spot, he sat down with me and shared his experience, in the most gentle and encouraging 2 4Ç&#x2122; /*' ( /# / 4 .Ç&#x161; 2 . $Ć˘ 0'/ 0/ /# / $/ $ )Ç§/ # 1 /* /# / 2 4Ç&#x161; ) /# (*./ $(+*-tant thing I remember him telling me was how I *0' %0./ ' / /#$)". "*Ç? /# / + *+' / '& /* / '& sometimes, and that I could just let them talk, just let them do whatever they wanted, trying to teach me how to tune out until it was over and focus on what needed to be done, because that was all that mattered. I wish so much that I had a recording of that conversation because it honestly touched the deepest part of my soul. His generosity that night 2 . /-0'4 ($) '*2$)"Ç&#x161; ) 2 . /# Ć&#x17E;-./ /#$)" /#*0"#/ *! 2# ) ' -) /# ) 2.Ç? ) *)/$)ues to repeat in my mind. That night, his words brought me to tears, tears of relief on a problem that had always seemed unsolvable, but for some - .*) )*2 ! '/ *(+' / '4 Ć&#x17E;3 ' $) /#$. .( '' bit of time he shared with me. Again, that night I thought to myself of how profoundly special Tobin was. He was always so normal, well adjusted and happy go lucky, and for me, people like this *)Ç§/ 0.0 ''4 - .*) / Ç&#x2122; 0/ .*( /#$)" *0/ * $) was also so deep, so generous, so kind and so caring. His authenticity in expressing these qualities is what really stands out. He was extraordinarily deep with his care, he had beautiful empathy and # . 1 -4*) Ç§. .0ĆĄ -$)" 2$/# $/Ç&#x2122;

) - *0)/$)" /# . ( (*-$ .Ç&#x161; 2 )/ /* Ć&#x17E;) ''4 express how much intense gratitude I feel now, for having the opportunity to cross paths with a human like this. Tobin taught us how to stay easy. How to stay connected. How to stay happy. # - - )Ç§/ )*0"# 2*- . /* . -$ /# ĆĄ / *! * $)Ç§. .($' Ç&#x2122; # - - )Ç§/ 2*- . /* . -$ my overwhelming gratitude for the time I had with him, for the opportunity to learn from him, for the exposure and lessons small and large, I learned from him. Tobin, thank you forever, from the bottom of my heart. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Sheila Mahoutchian

DMBA

40 If you look deeply within someone's eyes you can see the person's sincerity and truth— Tobin got them all.

Ǩ .ǚ 2 ( $/Ǟǩ ) #$. $" .($' . ) #$"#ǰƞ1 .Ǚ I wish I could have more time and maybe patience / /# / /$( /* '$./ ) /* * $)ǧ. .# -$)" $) - Ơ$)" and had a better conversation in collaborating. #*2 .0 ..!0' *0- ($ -*+$'*/ 2 .ǲ/# /ǧ. '' 0. *! #$. '*1 ) + ..$*) !*- - Ơ$)"Ǚ * $)ǚ ǧ'' ) 1 - !*-" / /# ' ..*) 4*0 / 0"#/ ( ǚ that how passion can make everything possible.

# ) ƞ-./ (*1 /* /# Ǚ Ǚ /2* 4 -. "*ǚ *0' - '4 .0-1$1 $) + -/4Ǚ ) /# ƞ-./ $2 '$ǚ I felt like an outsider and a not-so-cool kid because

2 .)ǧ/ ' /* .0./ $) /# ƦǰƦ *)1 -. /$*) (*- /# ) Ʀƥ . *) .Ǚ * $) 2 . /# ƞ-./ *) -*& /# / -0' Ǚ # ) # *ơ - ( #$. 3+ -$ ) . $) $2 ) with his warm smile, the kindness was leaked from * $) 2 . .0 # "$ƠǙ # ) 4*0 2 - .* .#4 /* #$ his ongoing questions that I could never forget. yourself from crowds and thought you could be skipped from being hugged, well it never happened I can still remember the time I worked with Tobin 2$/# * $)Ǚ *0' '2 4. ƞ) 4*0 ) " 1 4*0 0-$)" *0- 3+ -$ ) /0 $* ' .. .Ǚ ƞ) ''4 /**& the best hugs. I will never forget his smiles, his hugs *ơ /# Ǩ .$") 0/4ǩ ) # ) $/ *1 - /* * $)ǚ and his sincerity and truth from his beautiful eyes. however, we still worked as a “design team” at the end through R4 to R5. He always gave his full — Wan-Jou (Angelique) Lee support to whatever I felt I needed, with all the

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

41 Tobin gave the best hugs. $. #0". 2 - '2 4. . $! 4*0 # )Ç§/ . ) #$( $) years, even if you had seen him just a couple hours before, and always delivered with the most sincere .($' /# / 2 )/ ./- $"#/ /* #$. 4 .Ç&#x2122; 0/ $/ 2 .)Ç§/ just his smile or his hugs â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Tobin was sincere all -*0) Ç&#x161; 2#$ # $. .*( /#$)" Ç§'' '2 4. ($- *! #$(Ç&#x2122; 2 . /0 ''4 /# Ć&#x17E;-./ + -.*) 1 - # *ĆĄ 2$/# / /# 2# ) 2 */# 2 '& *1 - /* -&.$ !*- *ĆĄ 0-$)" *0- Ć&#x17E;-./ (*-)$)" - & !*- *)*($ .Ç&#x2122; # / Ć&#x17E;-./ *)1 -. /$*) I had with him struck me because of his outlook on starting the program. We talked about being from the east coast, the bike shop he worked at, and why we were both here. The way he told his story was so genuine â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sprinkled with just the right amount of optimism, excitement and hesitation around starting the dMBA.

He was also sincere in many other ways â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Tobin spoke when he felt he needed to (but never leaving awkward silences), he laughed when he actually thought something was funny (sparing us pity laughs), gave an opposing opinion where he thought it was due, was gen0$) '4 &$) Ç¸$) ) .. Ç§. 2*- .Ç&#x161; Ç¨ '/ *! /# -/#ÇŠÇšÇ&#x161; enjoyed his no-frills beer, danced like no other without a care in world (and always looked cool), and looked at Willi with so much love and pride. The last words he said to me were, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You did so good!â&#x20AC;? at graduation, and I remember feeling puzzled but # ++4 0. 2 # '' *) .* "** Ç&#x161; ) Ç§'' ) 1 - forget that. Beers, cheers and hugs forever, Tobin. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Arya Abdool

42 I have many good memories of Tobin and what I remember the most is our conversations over bicycles. He was so passionate about bicycles and biking in nature and I believe it is always a blessing to die while doing what we love. I remember how every time he saw me with my bike he would take it, ride it for a minute and tell me if it was tuned or what part needs tuning. I will remember him every time I ride my bicycle. My last memory of Tobin was from the Venture Show build. That last week of grad school was one of the most intense times of school for me. We were all stressed and I was really frustrated, jumping between building my team booth and the main show. I was feeling so lonely and desperate when suddenly, I passed by Tobin in the hall. He noticed my frustration and asked with a big smile if I needed help. He helped me feel '( ) - ..0- ( /# / $/Ç§. "*$)" /* *& 4Ç&#x2122; He was like a survival angel to me that day. So, I told him what needed to be done, and he went to get started right away. It was such a relief at that moment because I knew that when Tobin committed to something, he would do it. A few hours ' / -Ç&#x161; ( & /* # '+ #$( /* Ć&#x17E;)$.# ) 2 .

.#* & /* . /# / # # )*/ *)'4 '- 4 Ć&#x17E;)$.# the job really well, but all on his own. He had installed the entire Making Meaning wall in a blink of an eye. Tobin was one of the kindest people I have ever known, with an incredibly beautiful smile that in./ )/'4 ( '/ 2 4 !-0./- /$*) *- ./- ..Ç&#x2122; )Ç§/ say how thankful I was for his help on that day. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Ehsan Darbandi

DMBA

43 What I will remember most about Tobin is how proud he was of the people and the things that he '*1 (*./Ǚ ǧ1 '' . -$ #*2 # '**& when he was feeling that pride. His eyes would light up, the corners crinkled up in a smile. He would positively glow, beaming with pride. In having the privilege of knowing Tobin, I saw that look more times that I recall. I saw it when we turned a mini-ops presentation into a giant joke, his smile getting wider and wider with every meme slide we clicked through, (he really loved the crocodile dundee one). I saw it when we rocked ) $) - $ ' !*-ǰ- ' *+. +- . )/ /$*)ǚ Ơ - # # 2*-& /$- ' ..'4 /* 0) -./ ) *0- '$ )/ǧ. solar panel system inside and out, and broke down / -$ơ - / . '$& .*( .*-/ *! 0/$'$/4 $''$)" . 1 )/Ǚ I saw it when he looked at us, his team members, Ơ - 2 ) $' /# / +- . )/ /$*) ) $(+- .. Brian (Tobin was good at being impressive). I saw it when he took our whole team to one of his favorite restaurants in the middle of nowhere California (or so it seemed to me) and told us all what to order. It was delicious. I saw it when we chatted over beers at Thee Parkside, talking about him and Willi take /# $" +'0)" ) (*1$)" $) /*" /# - Ǹ * $) $ )ǧ/ think it was all that big of a plunge, he was stoked).

. 2 $/ 2# ) # Ɵ$ & /#-*0"# /# +$ /0- . *! /# gorgeous shelf he built in their new home, as he described all the components and how easy it was to put together (not actually at all easy). I saw it every time he described the adventure he had just been *)ǚ *- /# *) # 2 . "*$)" *) ) 3/Ǚ . 2 $/ Ơ - successful pool game. I saw it at the end of a karaoke collaboration well done at Butter. I saw it when he introduced me to his beautiful mom and family at Venture show. I saw it every time he leaned in for one of those legendary hugs. And I saw it most of all every time he looked at Willi. He was so proud of Willi, so proud of their love. Watching Tobin love Willi made me love Tobin a little bit more. I will miss you, Tobin. I wish I had sat with you a little longer at Anchor, stayed for one more drink at CT Yankee. I wish we would have done tacos and tequila. We ran out of time, and that will never be okay. We will not forget you, I promise. And every single one of us is going to make you proud. — Änna Ibrahim

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

44 This January during R1 I saw him with this new big beard. I looked at him, paused for a moment and said “Wow Tobin”. He looked at me kind of confused and waited. Then I said “You look even more handsome”. One of the recurrent memories I want to share is ' 0"# ) /# ) . $ Ǩ '' 4*0 &)*2ǝ # 1 what became “our little greeting”. We all know how to compete with Willi!”. I responded “Tobin... I am .( -/ ) # ) .*( * $) 2 .Ǚ 0/ *)ǧ/ /#$)& sorry to say this but there is no way you are more he actually did, especially how beautiful he was beautiful than Willi, and you know it!!”. He agreed */# $).$ ) *0/.$ Ǚ - //4 (0 # .$) /# ƞ-./ with me, laughed (with that characteristic Tobin year I would greet him with “Hi handsome!”. At laugh) and hugged me, like he always did. the beginning he would always giggle in a kind of ( -- .. Ȍ 2&2 - 2 4 *- /# / # $ )ǧ/ /-0./ Few days ago Willi kept saying that he had something that I actually meant it. Later on it became almost an special with everyone, and indeed he had. His expected pattern where I would see him and say “Hi warmth coming directly from his heart is what made handsome!” and he would respond “Hi sweet Sonia” everyone feel that something special with him. Hi and would give me one of his warm hugs along with handsome, wherever you are. his smile. If you have experienced any of his hugs, it — Sonia Sierra Sillero 2 .)ǧ/ %0./ + / *) /# &Ǚ / 2 . - ' 2 -( #0"Ǚ While I was thinking about stories with Tobin all that kept coming to mind was his smiles, hugs, and kindness towards everyone.

DMBA

- ( ( - /# Ć&#x17E;-./ /$( / '& /* * $) $. *) /# playground of the school. Many of our classmates $) '0 * $) 2 - .$//$)" *) -/$Ć&#x17E; $ ' /0-!Ç&#x2122; talked about Taiwan. He told me he has been to Taiwan once and he likes Taiwan, of course, the food, so much. Since I just came to the U.S., my speaking 2 . )*/ /# / Ć&#x;0$ Ç&#x2122; *( 1* 0' -$ . 1 ) *)Ç§/ know how to say it. Tobin was very patient with me. He listened to me and waited for me with his warm smile when I was thinking about how to say that word in English. I was a little bit afraid of talking )"'$.# 2$/# ) /$1 .+ & -. / /# / /$( Ç&#x2122; $ )Ç§/ know how his behavior encourages me.

46 Tobin was one of the persons who challenged me the most since day one of the program. To ( Ç&#x161; # . ( (4./ -$*0. ) .* $ĆĄ - )/ that I was afraid of him. Silly feeling, right?

)*/# - /#$)" $. Ć - '$1 3 # )" Ć&#x17E;) ' + -!*-( ) ) Ç&#x161; 1 -4*) ' Ć Ç&#x2122; ( $)/* /# -**( " $) /* ( & .0- $ )Ç§/ !*-" / )4/#$)"Ç&#x2122; Then, I saw there have some scraps of paper on the ground, and Tobin was picking those confetti up. I was so surprised how nice Tobin is. I went to pick up those confetti with him and told him â&#x20AC;&#x153; You are a really nice person, Tobin!â&#x20AC;? Even though is a tiny thing but I kept this in mind since then.

Every day over these two years, he managed to change that feeling to trust, respect, admiration but overall friendship. He was super patient with me and was always willing to help and make sure I felt good about the multiple things he taught me. Like how to take care of (4 $& Ç&#x161; /#*. ( )4 Ć&#x17E;) ) ' ..*). Ç¸+*0- soul, I never really master them, and we were in the same team in second and last semester), MANY MANY new fancy and not so fancy expressions (I even started a notebook to write them down), he also taught me how to choose a good beer!

( '.* * $)Ç§. . - / )/ Ç&#x2122; *0"#/ + 2$/# cartoon style fox on it for him. Since I never buy a + !*- "04 !*- ) *)Ç§/ &)*2 #$. / ./ . 1 -4 2 ''Ç&#x161; /-4 .* # - /* Ć&#x17E;) + /# / /#$)& 2$'' '**& great on him. Fortunately, he liked the cap so much and he kept telling me he liked it. It is totally what he wants. I would never forget how happy he was.

I have so many good memories. The one I remember the most was a time we went to a bar !*- 4 )$& Ç§. $-/# 4Ç&#x2122; Ç&#x161; - #$/ ) 2 - talking, and I mentioned to them how happy I was to have them as my friends. He looked / ( ) . $ /# / $/ 2 . $Ć˘ 0'/ /* Ć&#x17E;) ) 2 friends, especially as we get older but that we found each other and that we were a gang now. Ć - /# /Ç&#x161; # " 1 0. $" .($' ) / ( #0"Ç&#x2122;

Every time when I meet Tobin. He always gives me a hug with a big smile. Tobin, I will never forget you. I will remember your warm smile. Thank you for -$)"$)" ( .* ( )4 "** ( (*-$ .Ç&#x2122; /Ç§. '0 &4 /* share these life moments with you. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Chi-ching Ou

Tobin and Willi helped me to feel safe and conĆ&#x17E; )/ /# / 2*0' '2 4. # 1 .*( *) &ing me. I felt so part of that beautiful relationship that I used to bother Tobin by telling him that Willi was mine and that he could borrow her for a while! Thanks, Tobin, thank you for sharing that great sense of humor, and beautiful smile. But overall, thanks for teaching me that patience and love is always the way to gain + *+' Ç§. /-0./ ) !-$ ) .#$+Ç&#x17E; â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Karin Senado

--$/ / * 4 / & ǚ 2*) -$)" 2#4 ǧ( / &$)" +#*/*. 2# ) 2 ǧ- .0++*. /* $) ) *0/ǚ '$& ( )Ǚ

FRIENDS

47 * $) 2 . *) *! /# ƞ-./ + *+' ( / 2# ) 2 started this adventure and there are so many great memories; he always made the room come to life with so much happiness with his amazing smile. The one story that keeps popping up goes way & /* *0- ƞ-./ . ( ./ - 0-$)" *0)/$)"Ǚ # the pleasure to work with him in a group with Jo, Karin, and Suz of which he provided a majority of the jokes and laughter during our meetings — it was +- //4 ( 5$)" "-*0+Ǚ *- *0- ƞ) ' +- . )/ /$*) we decided to compare beer companies (of course) and not only did we try to get everyone in the class to put Dan into their presentations, we also thought 4*0 )ǧ/ +- . )/ *0)/$)"Ȍƞ) ) $ '. /* 1 -4*) without providing refreshments. I remember Tobin rushing in the morning of our presentation with a bag full of beer, which of course he had biked over with, and he had nothing other than a giant smile on his face — totally prepared to share with everyone. Right before we presented he thought we needed one last touch to nail it so he walked out to the studio and had someone write “Party On” straight on his

white shirt! When he walked into the class with the shirt and sunglasses on you could just see him totally relaxed and having fun — with accounting of all things — and I remember the class just laughing and Dan loving it! We of course nailed the presentation because Tobin did his sections wearing the sunglasses and sipping on a beer like he was in the park drinking and chatting with friends. Ơ - (*1$)" ' ./ 4 - # /$( ( & /* /# studio he always me made me feel welcomed with his giant, tight hugs and a smile. He was there for me when I needed a friend and could always tell when I was struggling this past year, but with one single hug, .($' ǚ ) ! 2 #$"#ǰƞ1 . 2#$' 2 '&$)" + ./ # other he always made me feel strong and happy. He has touched and changed my life in so many ways and without a doubt for the better. Reading through '' /# . ( 5$)" ./*-$ . (4 # -/ $. ƞ'' 2$/# /# love we all have and will continue to have for Tobin, our beloved friend and family member! — Sarah Gilbert

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

48 Tobin emitted so much human kindness. Whether at Parkside or in the Studio, he always made me feel genuinely welcome. During the chaos of the Venture Show, I remember Tobin as a pillar of kindness, gratitude, and a can-do attitude. We had a challenge to build platforms for the projectors for the venture show. We were pressed for time, and stressed, and Tobin came right over to the woodshop and sketched out a design for the platforms. While he was strapped for time as well, he was fully present with the task at hand. He was so knowledgeable, so humble, so kind, and so genuine. I will remember his infectious smile as a model for my own human kindness. I feel blessed to have crossed paths with Tobin; may he continue to exist in all of us.. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Holly McKenna, C11

FRIENDS

49 We were both in love with this zombie game, Resi )/ 1$' ĆŠÇ&#x2122; Ç§ / ) $/ *) /# )*-( ' $Ć˘ 0'/4 but one summer we decided that we had to beat it on the â&#x20AC;&#x153;professionalâ&#x20AC;? level. And by â&#x20AC;&#x153;weâ&#x20AC;? I mean â&#x20AC;&#x153;him playing with me watching,â&#x20AC;? because he was better at it than I was. Towards the end of the game he reached a boss that we simply could not beat. We /-$ ( 4 #0) - /$( .Ç&#x161; 2$/# $ĆĄ - )/ ./- / "$ . ) . /0+.Ç&#x2122; Ç§ *).0'/ /*" /# - *) #*2 2 .#*0' +-*"- ..Ç&#x161; ) # Ç§ /0 ''4 * /# +' 4$)"Ç&#x2122; tried once or twice but I died so quickly that it was evidently clear that that was not the way forward. . / $) *''4Ç§. . ( )/ $) -'$)"/*)Ç&#x161; %0./ /# /2* of us and maybe a bowl, trying over, and over and over again. At one point he turned to me and said, Ç¨/#$. $.)Ç§/ !0) )4(*- Ç&#x161; *)Ç§/ '$& /#$.Ç&#x2122;ÇŠ 0/ 2 */# knew there was no giving up.

Finally, Toby got the genius idea to buy a rocket ' 0) # -Ç&#x161; /* 0. Ć&#x; .# )" /* ./0) #$( ) /# ) immediately blow him up. I remember feeling so extremely tense as he executed his plan. And it worked! I leapt up and shouted and hit my hands on the low basement ceiling so hard. And we hugged. It was just a dumb video game and we were just some stoned teens but it was a triumph! 14 years later Toby still had that very gamecube and that very copy of Resident Evil 4 set up in his tiny, .# - '$1$)" -**(Ç&#x2122; /Ç§. .0 h a silly memory but $/Ç§. *) /# / &)*2 # # -$.# ) # !*0) #$. own way to show me that he did. I cherish it too. Summer, 2005 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Aaron Krajeski

50 *( /$( $) /# .+-$)" ǧ '$./ ) /* +* ./ about eclipses and had gotten obsessed. I mentioned to Cait that I maybe wanted to go see the August total eclipse that was passing over North America, and to my surprise she was just as excit Ǚ *)ǧ/ &)*2 2#4 2 . .0-+-$. Ǚ $)./ &$)"ly planning to travel a very long distance to catch an obscure event is the Cait-est thing ever. $/ǧ. # %0./ $ Ǚ ǧ 0/ +- 1$*0. /-$+ /* /# 2 ./ * ./ .#*-/ /* 2$/# #$( $) #$. ƞ) ' 4.ǚ .* $/ 2 . ,0$ &'4 $ /# / 2 ǧ "* & !*- /# '$+. Ǚ '' * 4ǚ +' )) /* Ɵ4 into SF, camp up the coast with him, and watch the eclipse in Oregon. “Jesus of Camping” Toby Shreeve was down, excited, and equipped. The days leading up to the eclipse I was a total wreck. What if it was cloudy? What if we got stuck $) /- Ƣ ǡ # / /# .+*/ **& 2 . )* "** ǡ What if we slept in too late? The day beforehand /# - 2 - 2$' ƞ- . $) - "*) /# / /0-) /# sky pitch black. It was beautiful and strange, Toby made me pull over the car because I was too distracted by them. I was certain it meant that the sky 2*0' +$/ # ' & ) 2 ǧ ($.. /# '$+. Ǚ Cait and Toby consoled me. Toby drove.

The morning of the eclipse I made them both " / 0+ / Ʃ ( .* /# / 2 *0' Ǩ / /# /- Ƣ Ǚǩ We all popped some adderall, drank some coffee, cranked the country radio and drove the 2.5 hours from Florence to Sublimity, Oregon. We got there 3 hours early. I chatted with other astronomy dorks and explained to Toby and Cait why what we were about to witness was SO COOL. # '$+. ( ) 2 )/ǚ $/ǧ. *)'4 '$& Ʀƪƥ seconds long. I cried when I realized the world was round. Toby turned around to look at me Ơ - $/ + .. 2$/# ! /# / !*- %0./ ) $)./ )/ . $ ǚ Ǩ # /ǧ. $/ǡ # /ǧ. 2#4 2 ( '' this way?” Then he saw me crying. And he just walked over and held me. He may not have been as into the moon and the stars as I was, but he was more into his friends and their hap+$) .. /# ) )4*) ǧ1 1 - &)*2)Ǚ That night the three of us camped and grilled tuna and drank wine. I told Toby that it was a 4 ǧ'' ) 1 - !*-" /Ǚ ) 1 - 2$''Ǚ August 21, 2017 — Aaron Krajeski

2 . $) !*- **"' *-$ )/ /$*) ) # -Ç&#x2122; ) /0- 4 2 .)Ç§/ working and asked Toby what he wanted to do and he was like, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Can we go to Ikea?â&#x20AC;? There was apparently one particular mini-shelf that 2 . + -! / !*- "*$)" 0) -) /# /# '*Ć # 2 . 0$' $)" $) #$. /$)4 -**(Ç&#x2122; Ç¨ ) ( / 0+ $) -$) / (4 0)/ ) ) ' Ç§. ) $/Ç§'' )$ -$1 Ç&#x161;ÇŠ # $).$./ Ç&#x2122; *2 /# / &)*2 '$//' *0/ 4 Area geography, I would know to tell him that Marin is not on the way from SF to the Ikea in West Oakland. - Ć˘ 2 . 2!0' !-*( /* -$)Ç&#x161; *! *0-. $/ 2 .Ç&#x2122; +$ & 0+ * 4 / #$. 0) ' Ç§. ) # $).$./ *) -$1$)" (4 - )/ ' - /# - ./ *! /# 2 4Ç&#x2122; - Ć˘ 2 . 2!0' !-*( -$) /* &' ) /**Ç&#x2122; # ) 2 "*/ /* /# + -&$)" '*/ * 4 . $ Ç&#x161; Ç¨ Ç§- "*)) " / $) ) *0/Ç&#x161; '$& ( )Ç&#x2122;ÇŠ /# ) immediately went the wrong way when we got inside and we wandered around surreal apartment-scapes for half an hour. I thought it was #$' -$*0. ) & +/ /-4$)" /* " / #$( /* +*. $) /# $ĆĄ - )/ ! 03Ç°'$1$)" -**(.Ç&#x2122; 2 . ))*4 /# / # *0' )Ç§/ Ć&#x17E;) #$. .# '! ) ))*4 / me for wanting to play pretend instead of sticking to the original plan (In and out, like men). EVENTUALLY he asked for help and we realized we had to go *2)./ $-. /* /# 2 - #*0. . /$*)Ç&#x161; 4*0 &)*2Ç&#x161; 2# - '' /# ./0ĆĄ actually is. The shelf he was looking for was at the veeeeeeeeery end *! /# 2#*' " 0)/' /Ç&#x161; -$"#/ 4 /# .# - "$./ -.Ç&#x2122; # 4 $ )Ç§/ # 1 $/ $) ./* &Ç&#x161; 2 ' Ć 2$/#*0/ 04$)" )4/#$)"Ç&#x2122; - Ć˘ & /* 2 . / --$ ' Ç&#x2122; I fully accept that this story is incredibly pointless and dumb. Toby 2 . /# ./ /* * +*$)/' .. ) 0( ./0ĆĄ 2$/#Ç&#x2122; /0 ''4 # lovely time that day. August 18, 2018 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Aaron Krajeski

--$/ / * 4 / & ǚ 2*) -$)" 2#4 ǧ( / &$)" +#*/*. 2# ) 2 ǧ- .0++*. /* $) ) *0/ǚ '$& ( )Ǚ

FRIENDS

52 Toby, Kevin, and I went on a 24-hour backpacking trip to Sword Lake in the Carson-Iceberg Wilderness. This memory was so, so special to me before Toby died, and even more so now.

/ 2 . 0) 4 )$"#/ǚ ) (*./ + *+' # ' Ơ *- were leaving to head back to their lives. We hiked in ƞ1 *- .$3 ($' . /* /#$. $) - $ ' ' & $) /# ($ ' of the wilderness. There was only one other camper out there. %0(+ *ơ /# / '' "- )$/ *'0(). .0--*0) $)" the lake and swam to the other side and sat on the rocks and talked while the sun got low. We saw a water snake. I have a video of Toby psyching himself up /* * &Ɵ$+ *ơ -* & Ǹ# $ )ǧ/ ) 0+ *$)" $/ǚ but the wind-up is hilarious). We watched the sun set while the air got cooler. We ( $)) - ) # '$//' ƞ- ) - )& -.Ǚ When the moon rose it was full and lit up the granite so brightly. We scampered around on the granite slabs in the moonlight. The next morning, Toby and I went by ourselves to ƞ) 2*- & ǧ. Ǩ#$ )ǩ .$./ - ' & Ǹ2#$ # 4*0 could see from where we were camping). We swam to some rocks in the middle and just lay on them and talked in the sunshine. On the drive back Toby insisted we listen to the en/$- /4 *! ''4ǧ. - ++ $) /# '*. / Ǹ ǧ'' # 1 /# sight and sound of Toby singing and laughing through this line burned into my mind forever: https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=q04RgMuMdOE. He sang pretty much every word) and most of Blake Shelton discography.

)ǧ/ . -$ )4 *! $/ 2 '' )*0"#ǚ 0/ $/ 2 . *) *! the most beautiful and memorable times of my life. August 2017 — Annie Agnone

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

53 Ć - $& Ç§. + ..$)"Ç&#x161; * 4 ) # ++ ) /* coincide in New York and he hopped in the car with me to go back to Vermont for a cou+' 4.Ç˛#$. Ć&#x17E;-./ /-$+ /* /# 40-/Ç&#x2122; ) /# 2 4 there, we traded music and talked. We made food, he helped Kevin clear brush, we watched The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, we played scrabble, we drank beer and he met some of our friends. He called it â&#x20AC;&#x153;the coziest place in the worldâ&#x20AC;? and I felt so grateful that our high school friendship had made it to adulthood. December 2016 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Annie Agnone Toby & Holly in the morning.

FRIENDS

2 . -$)"$)" /$)4 $& # ǧ 0$'/ !*- $-/# 4 "$ƠǙ

I saw Toby a lot the summer before I went to "- . #**'Ǚ ( / 0+ !*- *ơ ǚ 2 2 )/ swimming, we partied. I always felt so safe with him. I remember driving him from ' $- ǧ. # #*0. /* /*)$)"/*) Ǹ2#$ # 2 kept calling “Bonington”). He was going to be 2$/# ! ($'4 !*- #$. *0.$)ǧ. #$' ǧ. Ǹ /#$)&ǹ $-/# 4Ǚ 2 . -$)"$)" /$)4 $& # ǧ 0$'/ !*- $-/# 4 "$ƠǙ

Toby was with me the night I backed my car out of (4 + - )/.ǧ -$1 2 4 ) $)/* /# ) $"# *-ǧ. 0 -0Ǚ ǧ ) +$.. / (4 + - )/. ) ' Ơ /# #*0. $) #0ơǚ * 4 .$ ( Ǚ . - + 0+ /# .$ *! /# ) $"# *-.ǧ - +- //4 ǚ - '$5 2 . (*-*)ǚ - + -& (4 - ) Ɵ 2$/# * 4 /* /# & - -*Ơ # -*.. /# ./- /Ǚ

# ) 1$) ) ƞ-./ ./ -/ /$)" 2 )/ to impress him by giving him cool and thought!0' "$ƠǙ * 4 2- ++ 1$)ǧ. Ǹ+- 1$*0.'4 - metal) handlebars in this super slick, white leather handlebar tape. They looked amazing.

We sat on the picnic tables and he listened patiently while I freaked out, then gently encouraged me to go home and tell my parents. I was so grateful to have his even keel and kind heart by my side during this and many other moments of teenage angst.

He taught me how to wrap my handlebars, too, and talked me through it while I did it myself.

/ǧ. ./$'' *) (4 $& /* 4Ǚ

2004 — Annie Agnone

Summer/Fall 2010 — Annie Agnone

Tobin and Patrick

FRIENDS

56 I had to say goodbye to a very dear friend on Monday. Toby was a ray of fucking sunshine, and my heart hurts so much to see you go. The times we spent riding (and crashing) down Mt Tam, having the time of our lives at Squam Lake, and just enjoying the + ..$)" *! /$( /*" /# - 2$'' ) 1 - !*-"*// )Ǚ ǧ'' hold you close to my heart whenever I ride the baby '0 $ ) #$ 4*0 0$'/ ) ǧ'' & + ' 0"#$)" / /# #bhadbhabie joke you made last week #howboutdat How bout dat...

/ǧ. *) *! /# # - ./ /#$)".ǚ . 4$)" "** 4 /* .*( *) 4*0 '*1 Ǚ 0/ 4*0ǧ'' '$1 *) !*- 1 - $) *0- # -/.ǚ ) 1 -4 /$( /#$)& *! 4*0 ǧ'' /#$)& *! /# / heart-warming, extremely contagious smile you # 1 Ǚ ǧ'' --4 /# /*- # *) !*- 4*0 ) & + 4*0 in our hearts always. Love you forever, you incredible dude.

58 Toby, we only worked together for a .#*-/ /$( ǚ 0/ 4*0 ' Ơ ) $(+- ..$*) *) ( /# / ǧ1 ) 1 - !*-"*// )ǚ ) ǧ( .0- ǧ( )*/ /# *)'4 *) Ǚ ) '$ 1 '4 smart, you had an infectious smile that brightened every room you walked into. Your relentless optimism and positivity were contagious, and it was an absolute honor to call you a friend. I am heartbroken for you and the family and friends 4*0ǧ1 ' Ơ #$) Ǚ

— Zoey Olbum

57 My freshman year at VCU was made so special by the incredible friends I made at Johnson Hall. That old, dirty dorm housed some of the best memories I will carry for a lifetime. While our friendship was but a brief moment in time, I was -/ $)'4 $(+ / 4 * 4ǧ. &$) ) ..Ǚ The memories are so foggy and my clearest recollections are of a pirate party and 3rd Street diner trips with the Johnson crew. I was homesick and sadder than hell that year, and found so much com!*-/ $) /# . + *+' Ǚ $! $. Ɵ /$)"ǚ ) am so terribly sad to hear the news of this tragic loss. Thank you so much for your kindness and your friendship that year, it has never been forgotten. I think I must have snapped this of you as I was sitting on the curb in front of Johnson, likely on a cigarette break. Cheers old friend

— Ken Schulz

— Nikki Bailey

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

59 I knew you as “Guy Tobi”, always friendly, easy to talk to, creative, interesting, always sharing your contiguous smile. */. *! !-*2). ǧ( .0- !-*( the loss of such an awesome #0( )Ǚ 0/ ǧ( *)ƞ )/ /# / the smiles that come from memories of you will continue. — Maurice Thompson

60 The more I think of Tobin, the more I recall fun and happy memories of him. Tobin was previously my co-worker and neighbor in 4 . '' 4Ǚ # - - )ǧ/ ( )4 + *+' '$& * $)ǚ ) &)*2 # ǧ. $).+$- .* ( )4 friends in the same way he has inspired me to always look at things in a positive way. It came natural to him, and for most, that $. .*( /#$)" /# / - ,0$- . '*/ *! ơ*-/Ǟ Back when Tobin and I worked together at the bike shop (I met him the week he moved to San Francisco), he went through a phase when he would make gourmet-quality homemade sandwiches for lunch. They '**& .* '$ $*0.Ǳ*) 2 . ( 2$/# - ( '$5 *)$*). ) $*'$Ǳ.* .& $! he wanted to team up with me and our other co-worker, Scott, to take turns making delicious sandwiches for each other. We took this challenge very seriously, and there was

'*/ *! +- ..0- /* '$1 - /# ./ Ɵ 1*- and quality of ingredients. We rotated days when each would provide lunch for '' /#- *! 0.ǚ ) Ơ - *) -*0) ǚ /# pressure was so great that we decided to end it on a high note and not continue. It was silly things like a sandwich exchange that showed me how I could count on Tobin to make fun moments with me, even in mundane situations like lunch breaks. Since Tobin was also my neighbor, it was always a nice surprise to run into him *) (4 2 4 #*( Ǹ' / - *) Ơ - 2 $ )ǧ/ work together). He was someone that you 2*0' ./*+ /* . 4 #$ /*ǚ /# ) ƞ) 4*0-self in deep conversation with him 20 ($)0/ . ' / -Ǚ * $) # . ' Ơ #0" $(+- ..$*) *) ( ǚ ) ǧ'' '2 4. # -$.# /# / # " 1 ( /# "$Ơ *! #$. !-$ ) .#$+Ǚ — Anisah

FRIENDS

61 ! ) Ç&#x2122; / --$Ć&#x17E; *)'**& - '' /# *+.Ç&#x2122; 0 &$'4Ç&#x161; my Dad happened by while out on a run and helped I remember Toby and Eleanor eating lunch in the us reassemble it before the law arrived. Despite, the hall outside the cafeteria. They would sit on the /- ( -&. *) $/# - .$ *! /# ! ) Ç&#x161; /# *Ć˘ - Ć&#x;**- ) ! 2) *1 - ./- )" 0//*).Ç&#x161; + / # .Ç&#x161; ) ' / 0. *ĆĄÇ&#x2122; 0./ .*( .* -Ç&#x161; 4*0)"Ç&#x161; 0( !0)Ç&#x2122; - .Ç&#x2122; # 4 ' 0"# '*/ ) $ )Ç§/ . ( /* - 2#* # - Ç&#x2122; # ) Ć&#x17E;) ''4 ++-* # /# (Ç&#x161; 2 . I remember parking my motor scooter outside his stunned at how NICE they were. I later learned that house everyday before school (he lived right by Yortheir mutual crush had miraculously blossomed ktown High). Halloween, Jr. year, I wore a suede into a strong friendship. Instead of sour fruit, they western coat with long black tassels. He was coming out the front door as I pulled up, so I held out "*/ + - ))$ ' Ć&#x;*2 -.Ç&#x2122; one arm to show him the tassels whipping in the

" ) # )"$)" *0/ $) #$. *(Ç§. Ç¸ *''4Ç§.Çš . ( )/ 2$) Ç&#x2122; - & 2$/# /# */# - # ) Ç&#x161; ) Ć&#x; 2 *1 - Ć - . #**'Ç&#x2122; Ç§ '' .+- 2' *0/ *) /# !0/*) ) the handlebars. He took me upstairs and bandaged periodically have to stand up and push it back into my wounds. We were both late for class. the frame (partly, if not wholly, due to cuddling). It 2 . $) /#$. . ( . ( )/ /# / .& (4 Ć&#x17E;-./ "$-'- I remember his Greek physique. Tobin was an ac!-$ ) Ç¸ ))$ Ç&#x161; 2#* # 0. /* / Çš $! .# Ç§ - /* complished martial artist with nothing to prove. He go out with me (at his encouragement). As there is used his strength to defend the tenderness in him)* .0Ć˘ $ )/ )/*)4( !*- Ç¨% '*0.ÇŠÇ&#x161; ' / Ç¨ * $)ÇŠ $/Ç&#x2122; self and others. He made you feel safe and secure in every way. He even let me take some shirtless shots I remember cutting wood with his father in the for- of him for a photo project. We both intuitively unest, and then hauling it all back to the house. We derstood that it was perfectly normal to appreciate bonded over a mutual love for manual labor. We 4*0- . ( Ç°. 3 !-$ ) Ç§. * 4Ç&#x2122; $-'. * $/ '' /# /$( Ç&#x2122; sang as we worked. My friend Toby was hot.

Ç§( 2$/# / .

I remember him trying to â&#x20AC;&#x153;skid outâ&#x20AC;? on a sharp turn one day when he was driving me home from school. Instead, we plowed straight through a wooden

// His gauged earlobes. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Robinson Earle

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

62 I married my way into this incredible group of friends, but from the moment I met him over 7 years ago, Toby always made me feel like one of the gang. Over the years, he grew into a true friend. Aaron and I were visiting him for his 30th birthday two years ago. It was a trip we planned excitedly, my dad was sick at the time and I was looking forward to a change of scenery for a bit. *0+' 4. !*- * 4ǧ. $-/# 4ǚ "*/ '' from my mom that my dad was worsening quickly and we were going to cut out trip short. However, 2 $ )ǧ/ ' 1 !*- +-*+ - ' - /$*)Ǚ 0-ing that time, I played one of my favorite albums for Toby by the Montreal band Timber Timbre - he loved it immediately and we listened to it again. ! 2 4. Ơ - 2 "*/ & /* 0 ǚ (4 passed away. When I told Toby, he sent me a photo of him giving me a hug, taken the week before. That night, he reached out to tell me that he was listening to the timber timbre album, it turned out that I was listening to it at that moment too, and he said it was like we were hanging out. For a '*/ *! 0.ǚ * 4 2 . *Ơ ) +#4.$ ''4 ! - 2 4ǚ 0/ǚ as the amazing friend he was, he somehow managed to make it feel like he was right there, always ready to lend love and support. Aaron and I gave this guy a lot of names (Toobin, Virginia Slim, Jesus of Camping), but mostly he was just our kind, caring and hilarious friend * 4Ǚ ǧ'' '*1 ) ($.. 4*0 !*- 1 -ǚ * .Ǚ April 2017 — Cait

63 Gone too soon, but he made such a lasting positive impact on everyone who every met him. In 2004 while skiing together in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, we gave Toby the call sign “Ziggy”. Why? # 2$' # $- # 2 . -* &$)ǧǚ ) #$. '*1 *! (0.$ Ǚ / %0./ ƞ/Ǚ - ǧ. /* 4*0ǚ * 4Ǚ *0 2$'' ($.. ǝ — Mike Barsky

FRIENDS

64 4 - $. $" " " + 2# ) 4*0ǧ- 4*0)" -Ǚ # - is something about seeing a guy that you feel is so much like you, but older, doing the things you want to be doing: starting a cool band, talking to girls, etc. Toby had the deadly combination of charisma and intellect. He could talk to anyone about anything. He also had an incredibly kind heart and compassion to spare. His personality was infectious. Seeing him from the perspective of a younger classmate was special, as it helped to inform who I wanted to be, but also showed me that 4*0 $ )ǧ/ # 1 /* -0 ' /* **'Ǚ # ' ./ /$( 2 .+*& ǚ 0)!*-/0) / '4ǚ 2 . Ơ - Mike passed. You always wish you could have the right words to say to someone when they lose someone so close. I was very lucky up to that point as I had never lost someone truly close to me. That would change a year later when I lost one of my closest friends. When we lost Mike I had no idea how his friends were feeling. Now I have an idea, 0/ )ǧ/ ! /#*( '*.$)" */# *! /# . 2*) -!0' men in such a short time. I can only imagine, I try to imagine, but it just seems impossible. My heart hurt when I woke up to the news this morning. Not because we close friends, we 2 - )ǧ/Ǚ 2 . .*( *) '$& ) - .+ / Ǚ Someone I looked up to. I liked to think we were similar people in taste and aspect. My heart hurts because I know what he meant to other people I like and respect. My heart hurts because I know that the good he would have done for other people $. )*2 ' Ơ !*- */# -. /* *Ǚ I spent the evening with my good friend Nicholas *2 )ǚ )*/# - 4*0)" - ( ) 2#* 2 . $)Ɵ0 ) by Toby in his formative years (our band played .#*2. 2$/# * 4ǧ. ) ) 2 - '2 4. '**&$)" to them as the benchmark for what we wanted to be). It was apparent to me that the ripples you create in life go farther than you think they do. You never think about how your little interactions 2$/# + *+' 2$'' ( & $ơ - ) ǚ 0/ /# 4 *Ǚ All of them. Be mindful of that and you might be as loved as Toby was. — Tommy Elms

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

65 4 * $)Ç&#x161; $/Ç§. .* 2!0' /* # - /# / 4*0Ç§- )* longer with us. You were such a great mentor to me at The Freewheel. You taught me how /* / & + ' . *ĆĄ $& .Ç&#x161; %0./ . / # $"#/.Ç&#x161; grease chains and just how to have more fun! Everybody is saying that you were such and 1 )/0- - ) *0' )Ç§/ $( "$) )4/#$)" (*- Ć&#x17E;//$)" /* . 4Ç&#x2122; - ( ( - -$ $)" 0+ 2& $'' Çą $) /# -& Çą 2$/# /# 2#*' Ç¨ $& gangâ&#x20AC;? just having an amazing time, laughing and getting ready to open some beers. There was even one time where I got lost in the dark on Bobcat Trail down in the Headlands and you came back looking for me because we all heard some kind of wild animal rustling in /# 0.# .Ç&#x2122; *0Ç§- "** !-$ ) Ç&#x17E; "*/ /* !*-" / *0/ '' /# - ++4 ./0ĆĄ 0-$)" /#*. -$ .Ç&#x2122;

/Ç§. ) *0/ Ć§ 4 -. .$) Ç§1 '$1 $) and maybe 3 or 4 since I saw you last, but you made a huge impression on me! You were Ć&#x17E;)$/ '4 *) (4 '$./ *! Ç¨ '$!*-)$ -$ ) .ÇŠ 2#* Ç§ 2 )/ /* - *)) / 2$/# 2# ) 2 )/ &Ç&#x2122; Ç§( .* .*--4 ($.. *0/ *) /# /Ç&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Crystal Harpstreit

66 Life was just starting to feel semi nor( ' " $) Ć - '*.$)" *) Ç&#x2122; *2 $) tween my sobs I dedicate this post to one of the kindest and most genuine of souls. I know I will see you again one day. I just wish I could have said see you later. I love you Toby. You like Mike will never leave my thoughts. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Mackenzie Vartanian

FRIENDS

67 ** "* Ç&#x161; *)Ç§/ 1 ) &)*2 2# / /* . 4 *0/

when we were in college. It was one way we kept in touch. One thing I have realized recently is that our group of friends in high school and beyond never .#$ !-*( 3+- ..$)" ĆĄ /$*) !*- *) )*/# -Ç&#x2122; 1 ) /# *4.Ç&#x2122; * 4 2 . '2 4. .* # ) .*( Ç&#x161; # 2 . *Ć ) /# - $+$ )/ *! /#$. ĆĄ /$*)Ç&#x161; ) 4 /Ç&#x161; - '$5 Ç&#x161; # " 1 $/ /**Ç&#x2122; # /Ç§. %0./ #*2 2 2 - 2$/# *) )*/# -Ç&#x2122; And I have come to realize how special that is.

my dear friend Toby. So many people have written memories about him â&#x20AC;&#x201D; something that ( -" . $) /# $- ( (*-4Ç&#x161; .*( /#$)" Ć&#x17E;)$/$1 Ç&#x161; .*( /#$)" ' ..$ ''4 * 4Ç&#x2122; / Ć&#x17E;-./Ç&#x161; $ )Ç§/ &)*2 what story to tell. I thought about the time Toby came to visit me in Bellingham and we went hitchhiking on Orcas Island (we were gonna ride bikes but it was pouring rain). That was a

4. Toby loved his Mama. He had this particular way of talking to her on the phone, back in the day, we were usually up to no good but Toby always reassured #$. ( /# / 1 -4/#$)" 2 . Ć&#x17E;) Ç&#x161; /# / 4 .Ç&#x161; # 2*0' be home soon, and then would invariably break his curfew in the name of hanging out. But Toby had such a sweet relationship with his Mom, his Dad, and all of his family. He was such a good son.

memory that was uniquely ours. Of course, I have thought of the countless inside jokes and the laughs and the trips and the connection we had. And it has taken me a long time to actually sit down and write this because I was afraid of getting it wrong, wanted it to be just right. And I had in mind writing a list of things I love about * 4Ç&#x161; .* ( 4 Ç§'' "* 2$/# /# /Ç&#x2122;Ç&#x2122;Ç&#x2122;

5. Toby was always ready for an adventure â&#x20AC;&#x201D; like when we went for a snowy hike up in Leadville, or snowboarding in Santa Fe, or bike rides from the East Coast to the West. I will carry that forward in memory of my dear friend.

1. I love how goofy Toby was â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he had a contagious, infectious, lighthearted laugh that he would not hesitate to give if the spirit moved him or if he wanted to make you smile, or laugh, or feel heard. Toby was hilarious and he brought

6. Toby was just a beautiful soul who shed so much light on all his friendships and relationships in life. Toby was a dream made pure. I love you, Toby!

that joy out in me and everyone he spent time with. 2. Toby had a lot of idiosyncrasies â&#x20AC;&#x201D; like the way he said â&#x20AC;&#x153;yesterday,â&#x20AC;? or the way he sucked his teeth more and more as he got older. I remember once in Leadville, sort of standing over him as he sat in a chair, and I sucked my teeth at him, looking him in his eyes, and he laughed out loud, a genuine, light-hearted laugh, as he realized I was calling attention to this weird thing he did. I love this weird thing. It was part of his charm.

I want to say how much I will miss you but honestly, I want and intend to live my life in such a way that I will honor you, our friendship, your spirit, your energy, and all that you stood for. I will always remember the good times. You are like a brother to me, and I love you, big guy! And we will take care of Willi, and your Mama, Molly, and all of your friends, we will be here for them and for you like you would be for us (and me). I will always remember what an amazing person you are. Your boy, Omar

3. Toby was a writer and we relished in exchanging weird prose poems with one another on Facebook

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Omar Tanamly

TOBIN â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In Loving Memory

FAMILY

68 * 4 2 . &)*2) !*- *ơǰ/# ǰ2 ''ǚ *0/ǰ*!ǰ/# ǰ '0 sayings when he was a little boy. I particularly remember three of them, which in some ways foretold his nature in later years. One time, when Toby was about 6 years old, I was in a tight game of Monopoly with Toby and his older brother, Andrew. I drew a Go-To-Jail card and, to show my grandfatherly involvement, I laid on with an outcry *! )"0$.#Ǚ * 4 ,0$ /'4 0/ ƞ-('4 . $ Ǩ - ) + ǚ $/ǧ. *)'4 " ( ǚ $/ǧ. )*/ '$! ǩ ǲ (+ /#4ǚ . ).$/$1$/4 /* .0ơ -$)"ǚ + -.+ /$1 ǲ / ƫǙ *2Ǟ At other times I was told about other Toby sayings, which were chucklers in the Shreeve family. Also when he was 6 or so (maybe 5), he was standing beneath a tree (perhaps tempting for fruit or just climbing) and said just to himself, “How am I going to get this little body up into that big tree?” desire, ambition, spatial analysis — yeah. Another time (and at about the same age) Toby was the smallest member of a family group hiking up a hill. Those little legs were giving out and he was ! ''$)" #$) Ǚ * 4 Ɵ0)" #$(. '! *) /# "-*0) ) '' *0/ǚ Ǩ )ǧ/ "* *)ǜ . 1 4*0-. '1 .Ǟǩ ǲ altruism, keen regard for others — Toby had it all. — Walton Shreeve

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

69 Toby was like a brother to me, even though we were cousins. Every Summer, Toby and his big brother Andrew would come to Vermont for a few weeks and we would all spends long warm days together in Vermont. Toby and I always bonded over a love of music and snowboarding and I loved spending time with him. Toby had a way of making you feel important and you got the sense he really cared about you. I miss him greatly and know he is looking down on everyone and amazed at how much the world misses and loves him. — Daniel Hasson

70 Toby was my cousin and I saw him almost every year for a week during an annual family reunion in New Hampshire $) 2#$ # '' *! 0. #- 1 ǧ. 2*0' " /# -Ǚ Toby always exuded positive energy and he was always fun to be around. On these trips, Toby and I, as well as others in our family, would spend countless hours playing cards together. It made us all feel connected and I have many fond memories of us laughing and enjoying ourselves along with a healthy dose of competition. I always expected to see him again and it was always something I looked forward to throughout the year. It makes me very sad that there will be no more time that I will get to spend with him and I know everyone in our family will miss him deeply. — Michael Shreeve

FAMILY

71 #)$ ''4Ç&#x161; * 4 2 .)Ç§/ $*' /Ç§. 0) ' Ç˛ # 2 . her second cousin. But that never sat right, so we called him Uncle Toby... Violet dubbed him ) ' 0+ Ç¸.# 2 . 4*0)" - ) *0' )Ç§/ " / /# annunciation perfect... and he got a kick at the use of such an under appreciated color). * 4 2 . Ć&#x17E;-./ */# - #- 1 &$ ( / / * &42*' Č&#x152; Squam Lake, and when he arrived with his father Tom, he hopped out of the car, and gave me the warmest hug while introducing himself. I was blindsided by his openness and light. 1 -4 4 - 2#$' 2 . ( --$ /* #$. *0.$)Ç&#x161; 2 Ç§ stay up late, play poker, drink scotch, and just laugh /* )* ) Ç&#x2122; Ć - /# */# -. 2 )/ /* Ç&#x161; * . ) would stay up and talk about his move to SF, being unsure about what his next steps were, his friends he worried about , and how badly he just wanted to be in love. That part I remember most â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and

*0' )Ç§/ 0) -./ ) #*2 .*( *) /# / ! )/ ./$ # )Ç§/ !*0) '*1 *! #$. *2)Ç&#x2122; Ç§ / 3/ /#-*0"#*0/ /# 4 -Ç&#x161; %0./ . $)" #*2 # other were. I remember when he texted back in Ć§ĆĽĆŚĆŹ / '&$)" *0/ #*2 2 '' #$. ./ -Ç§. +-*"- ( 2 . "*$)" ) #*2 # Ç§ ( / "$-' ) ( $''$ /# / he was SO excited about. 1 ) /#*0"#Ç&#x161; / #)$ ''4Ç&#x161; 2 2 - )Ç§/ ! ($'4 $) /# end â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I was absolutely shattered to hear about Tobes. Someone so full of life, who brought so much love and vividness to the world and those around him-what a remarkable soul! Thank you for being so wonderful, Uncle Taupe... â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Krissy Shreeve

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

72 Ơ - $''$ "- 0 / !-*( 2$/# -* 0 / Design degree, I read about the California College of the Arts DMBA program on Design Strategy. I told her about it and suggested that this would be a very interesting program to consider. She was not interested yet as she had other plans in mind. So, when Willi told me three years later that she was going to the orientation at CCA for that same program, I was very surprised and pleased. Apparently, Tobin had been thinking about that same +-*"- ( ) *)'4 $) ƧƥƦƬ $ # ƞ) ''4 $ /* "* ahead with this DMBA. When Willi told us about her ƞ-./ 4ǚ .# ( )/$*) .*( ) ( . *! + *+' .# had met. When she said “Tobin”, I immediately felt that Tobin was going to be someone who was going to be very special in her life. I had no idea what he looked like or anything about him. All I heard and felt was the warm caressing way his name came out of her mouth.

! 2 2 &. Ơ -ǚ .# ($// /# / .# ) * $) were an item. Their relationship since then was lovely to watch grow. They were always gentle with # */# - ) */# ơ ) "- 2 /* '*1 * $) . he made Willi happier than we have ever seen # -Ǚ */# ơ ) %*&$)"'4 ǸƤ (+ǜ . -$*0.'4ǹ . $ that we should try to be like them, with all their endearments and attention to each other. *.$)" * $)ǧ. +#4.$ ' +- . ) # . ) tremendously painful for all of us. At the same time, Ơ - # -$)" '' /# 0/$!0' 2 -( '*1$)" ./*-$ . about the goodness and brilliance of Tobin, we feel so blessed to have been touched by this Angel. We love you, Tobin. May all of Us carry forward the Kindness and Love that You are. — Belle Cohen

TOBIN — In Loving Memory

/ $. $(+*..$ ' /* #**. ./*-4 /# / +/0- . '' *! * $)ǧ. * $)ǰ) ..Ǚ * instead, I have decided to share the ways that Tobin has changed my life. Tobin is the love of my life, my soulmate. Tobin made me happy. He always made me smile and we laughed all the time. /**& ( *) 1 )/0- . 2*0' )ǧ/ # 1 - ( *! "*$)" *)Ǚ He took me to places I had never been before. We talked about our dreams and our goals and our plans. Tobin made me feel safe. He put me at ease. ( ( ! ' 0/$!0' ) .+ $ ' ) ǚ !*- /# ƞ-./ /$( ǚ 2*-/#4 *! '*1 Ǚ We built a home together. We built a business together. We built furniture together. We graduated together. Tobin pushed me to be more creative. He brought the best out of me. He gave me the ability to see my worth. These are the things I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Tobin, I miss falling asleep next to you every night and waking up next to you every morning. I miss cooking for you and watching late night movies with you. I miss our laughs and our adventures.

"-$ 1 !*- /# '$! /# / 4*0 $ )ǧ/ " / /* '$1 ) /# !0/0- /# / 2 . / & ) away from us. But I am thankful for the love we created and for everything you have given me in the short time we got to be together. I promise to carry our love in my heart for eternity. I love you. — Willi Cohen

We will never forget you.