Washington City Paper (April 8, 2022)

CITYPAPER WASHINGTON

THE DISTRICT’S FREE WEEKLY SINCE 1981 VOLUME 42, NO. 6 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL. 8-MAY 5, 2022

NEWS: BOWSER TAKES ANOTHER STAB AT FIXING HOMELESSNESS 3 SPORTS: THE NATS AREN’T LOOKING GOOD THIS YEAR 4 ARTS: COMEDIAN FROM SOUTHEAST SCORES NETFLIX SPECIAL 12

The Story of Pictureman When a person dies on a D.C. street, the Metropolitan Police Department is responsible for informing their next of kin. What happens when that process doesn’t go according to plan? P.6

By Ruben Castaneda

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

TABLE OF CONTENTS COVER STORY 6 The Story of Pictureman: The death, near Thomas Circle, of a man experiencing homelessness shines a light on the ways broken protocols impact these individuals and their next of kin.

NEWS 3 Loose Lips: In a surprising twist during budget season, activists say they’re cautiously optimistic about Mayor Bowser’s renewed efforts to end homelessness.

SPORTS 4 Designated Litter: What to expect from this season’s Washington Nationals

FOOD 10 Bottle Service: Sip+Tipple, a new spirits delivery service, brings liquors from Black makers to the doors of Washingtonians.

11 Lots to Luv: Our carryout critic indulges in wings, ribs, and famous mac & cheese at LuvPlates in District Heights.

ARTS 12 Seismic Activity: After decades of work, D.C. comedian Earthquake celebrates the release of his first Netflix special.

15 Inner Ear Comes Home, Literally: Music producer Don Zientara has brought Inner Ear Studios back to where it started, his basement.

16 A More Perfect Union: The particular joy of returning to intimate concert venues 18 Film: Zilberman on All the Old Knives

CITY LIGHTS 20 City Lights: Bright Eyes hits the Anthem, the Katzen Arts Center displays camera-less photography, and Argentine singer-songwriter Juana Molina plays at Union Stage.

DIVERSIONS 19 Crossword 22

Savage Love

23

Classifieds

On the cover: Photograph by Darrow Montgomery

Darrow Montgomery | 1300 block of Green Ct. NW, April 5 Editorial

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2 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

NEWS LOOSE LIPS

Wishing and Homing Darrow Montgomery/File

Mayor Muriel Bowser’s efforts to end homelessness have thus far only paid limited dividends, but advocates are broadly optimistic about her latest budget.

By Alex Koma @AlexKomaWCP Mayor Muriel Bowser has made so many promises about ending homelessness in D.C. that it can be hard to keep them all straight. But after years of missed deadlines and broken promises, advocates say her budget investments are finally starting to match her rhetoric.

As debate over the 2023 budget begins, Bowser is once again pledging that the city is on the path to ending chronic homelessness, perhaps as soon as 2028. Her deputies say that D.C. could become one of the first major cities in the country to manage that achievement, with $31 million in proposed spending to get people off the streets and another $114 million to improve local shelters.

That vow will sound familiar to anyone following her first term as mayor, of course, when she committed to ending family homelessness by 2018 and housing every single resident by 2025. Those deadlines have all proved elusive, and the goalposts have shifted a bit. Bowser’s new commitment to ending “chronic homelessness,” defined as a person spending more than a year without a home, is a much narrower target than her

Mayor Muriel Bowser

original pledge to end homelessness entirely.

But even if Bowser hasn’t lived up to some of these big promises, people working on this issue still feel more optimistic than they have in years. When taken in concert with the D.C. Council’s new investments last year (via a new tax on the wealthy), many activists believe it’s not unreasonable to expect major progress within the next few years in getting people housed. Bowser’s proposal still contains some major gaps (and it’s worth questioning whether some of these investments will endure when it’s not an election year) but, for once, advocates don’t fear an uphill battle as budget season kicks into gear.

“Homelessness is the result of 50 or more years of slashing social safety net programs, compounded on top of 400 years of White supremacy,” says Jesse Rabinowitz, senior manager for policy and advocacy at Miriam’s Kitchen, offering some helpful context. “So we’re not going to end homelessness in any one budget cycle. But through the sustained investments from the mayor and the Council over the past seven to eight years, we are in a good place right now.”

The budget proposal is all still preliminary, as the Council will spend the next few months slicing and dicing it, but to start with

the good news: For now, it includes enough money to fund permanent supportive housing vouchers for 500 individuals, 260 families, and 10 children. Those vouchers are targeted specifically to defray rent costs for people who have been homeless for more than a year and have some sort of disabling condition that makes it likely they would become homeless again without intensive support—essentially, the most challenged renters in the market.

That $31 million investment fully meets the request from the Way Home campaign, a coalition of organizations working to end chronic homelessness. Ward 1 Councilmember Brianne Nadeau, the chair of the Committee on Human Services, says it’s the first time in her eight years on the Council that there hasn’t been an “additional ask” from advocates on PSH vouchers heading into budget season. And Kate Coventry, a senior policy analyst focused on homelessness at the DC Fiscal Policy Institute, estimates that it’s the largest investment in vouchers for individuals in at least the past decade.

“I’d say it’s a fair assessment that this gets us to a place where we’re ending chronic homelessness,” Coventry says. “We don’t

know what the future will hold, there could always be another COVID variant … but we were pleasantly surprised here.”

Nadeau, a leading proponent of last year’s wealth tax, is quick to note that such a development probably wouldn’t be possible without the Council’s $65 million investment in new vouchers last year (half of which was specifically earmarked for PSH). And Coventry offers an even starker warning: “By the time people get into PSH, they’re often so ill that they die soon afterward.”

So it’s not enough to simply pour all of the city’s resources into PSH. That’s why Coventry was also pleased to see investments in shelter construction and renovation to help people survive until they can find housing. Bowser’s budget continues to fund improvements for the city’s New York Avenue Low Barrier Shelter, as well as full replacements for the Adam’s Place facility in Northeast and the Harriet Tubman Women’s Shelter in Hill East.

In both of those latter cases, Coventry notes, the city hopes to build two smaller facilities to replace the existing shelters, a strategy Bowser also embraced with some success as she sought to build replacements for the D.C. General Family Shelter. There is still no money for a replacement for the Federal City Shelter downtown, even though such an expense is highlighted explicitly in Bowser’s “Homeward DC 2.0,” her second crack at a comprehensive plan to tackle homelessness.

A nd that is not the only place where Bowser’s budget fails to meet critical needs for people experiencing homelessness, advocates say. The city’s rapid rehousing program, which is designed to help people afford rent for up to a year while they find work or otherwise stabilize their lives, is an area of particular concern.

The basic idea behind the program is to let people leave shelters quickly by getting housing right away, then help them afford rent on their own. But activists note that many people are often pushed out of rapid rehousing before they have the wherewithal to pay bills without a city subsidy. Bowser paused these phaseouts during the height of the public health emergency but restarted them last summer; 596 households were phased out of the program between October and February, according to figures provided to the Council by the Department of Human Services. In all of fiscal year 2021, 751 households were phased out.

So even t hough t he mayor wants to increase her rapid rehousing investment by about $44 million in her new budget, that’s not enough money to keep everyone who

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 8, 2022 3

NEWS LOOSE LIPS

SPORTS BASEBALL

Darrow Montgomery/File

Designated Litter Three years after winning the World Series, the Washington Nationals head into the 2022 season projected to be one of the worst teams in Major League Baseball.

By Byron Kerr and Kelyn Soong

A homeless encampment in NoMa circa 2018

can’t afford rent on their own in the program.

About 913 families are set to have their subsidies cut off this year, Department of Human Services Director Laura Zeilinger told the Council during a March 31 hearing, and the vast majority won’t be able to pay rent without assistance.

Amber Harding, senior counsel at the Washington Legal Clinic for the Homeless,

because they haven’t qualified for other assistance.

“We’re in a very challenging circumstance based on the reality that our budget is not unlimited,” Zeilinger said.

Kathy Zeisel, a senior supervising attorney at the Children’s Law Center, says the better solution is to fund targeted affordable housing vouchers, a program that helps pay

“We’re not going to end homelessness in any one budget cycle. But through the sustained investments from the mayor and the Council over the past seven to eight years, we are in a good place right now.” observes that roughly 500 families enter the program each year. If the city is already pushing people out with this level of funding, the problem is likely to compound without some sort of significant change.

“It’s just an incredibly destabilizing and cruel policy that is inextricably linked to our budget priorities,” Harding says. “[The city has] said in every other public benefit that arbitrary time limits are unfair and unjust, except this one.”

Zeilinger, whose office did not respond to requests for comment for this article, assured lawmakers that her agency has already worked to find solutions for all but 273 of those families. Some were able to get PSH vouchers. Others moved into related programs to keep them housed.

B ut for t ho s e rem a i n i n g fa m i l ies , Zeilinger admitted that many have “no plan” once their rapid rehousing subsidy runs out

bills for people who don’t qualify for PSH or other assistance. She suspects there’s a need for another 1,040 such vouchers, at a price tag of $27.7 million.

Bowser did not devote a single dollar to targeted affordable vouchers in her budget, and Nadeau says that it will be a real challenge to meet that figure. Plus, Nadeau expects she will probably need to find more money for emergency rental assistance to keep people from losing their homes in the first place (a battle she manages just about every year). Advocates have suggested adding $100 million or more to Bowser’s proposed budget for each of the next two fiscal years to meet rising demand.

“It’s unlikely we’ll be able to redirect that much, but you’ve got to aim high,” Nadeau says. “It all depends on how much money is available for me to move around in the budget.”

4 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

First, the good news: Baseball is back.

The Washington Nationals host the New York Mets in their season opener at 7:05 p.m. EST on Thursday, April 7, at Nationals Park. The Major League Baseball season was delayed by about a week after a lockout between the league and the MLB Players Association, but on March 10, the two sides reached a five-year deal nearly 100 days into the owner-imposed lockout of players.

Now, the reality check: The Nationals will not be very good. Most preseason predictions have Washington near the bottom of the 30-team league. The Nats have missed the postseason for two straight seasons and finished at the bottom of the National League East last year. The franchise is rebuilding—or “rebooting” as Nationals president and general manager Mike Rizzo calls it—and will have to do so without two mainstays and clubhouse leaders, Ryan Zimmerman and Max Scherzer. Zimmerman officially retired from baseball in February and the team traded Scherzer and shortstop Trea Turner to the Los Angeles Dodgers at the trade deadline last season. Scherzer now plays for the Mets.

So even as manager Dave Martinez maintains a hopeful outlook for the rebuilding Nationals, it’s fair for fans to be skeptical.

Baseball is here, but don’t expect any parades this fall.

A Questionable Starting Rotation

The starting rotation will be a work in progress to begin the season, something Nats fans haven’t had to endure for more than a decade.

Patrick Corbin, 32, seeking a bounce back after struggling the past two seasons, gets the Opening Day start. World Series MVP Stephen Strasburg, 33, is easing his way back after surgery to treat thoracic outlet syndrome, and Joe Ross, 28, is recovering from a bone spur in his right elbow. Ross is expected to miss six to eight weeks after undergoing surgery on March 7. Both veterans will begin the season at the team’s West Palm Beach complex. Another projected starter, 29-year-old Erick Fedde, is on track to start the season on schedule after dealing with an oblique issue.

In naming Corbin the Opening Day starter, Martinez is expecting him to put the past two seasons behind him and return to his 2019 numbers. That year, Corbin had a 14-7 record, with 238 strikeouts, and a 3.25 ERA. Last season, he went 9-16, with 143 strikeouts and a 5.82 ERA.

Josiah Gray, 24, can also become one of the anchors of the rotation. The highly touted righthander came over from the Dodgers last year, making 12 starts with the Nationals and going 2-2 with a 5.31 ERA, with six or more strikeouts in five of those outings. Aníbal Sánchez, 38, is back with the Nats for the first time since 2020, but struggled in his two spring starts with a 14.21 ERA. Josh Rogers started six games last season and thrived in his limited time with the Nationals, finishing with a 3.28 ERA. The 27-year-old is looking to build on that late-season momentum but will begin the season at Triple-A Rochester.

Without Strasburg and Ross early on, that leaves Sánchez, 35-year-old Paolo Espino, and 23-year-old Joan Adon alongside Corbin as starter options. Espino made 35 appearances and 19 starts for the Nats last season, going 5-5 with a 4.27 ERA. If the club falls out of contention quickly, top prospect Cade Cavalli, 23, might get more opportunities. Martinez likes what he’s seen from the 6-foot-4, 240-pound power arm, and ultimately, this season might be about giving arms like Cavalli a chance in real games, figuring out what works, and building consistency.

Not a Relief

The starting rotation raises questions about the team’s overall health. The bullpen, on the other hand, has issues with overall quality and depth.

Tanner Rainey, 29, Kyle Finnegan, 30, Austin Voth, 29, Steve Cishek, 35, Sean Doolittle, 35, and Espino are the club’s top relievers. But from there, the club takes a big chance with a crop of bullpen arms looking to prove they belong. Mason Thompson, 24, Andrés Machado, 28, and Patrick Murphy, 26, are back with the franchise, and 27-year-old non-roster invite Victor Arano will make his Nationals debut this season.

Will Harris, 37, will start the season rehabbing in Florida from surgery for thoracic outlet syndrome. He pitched in one spring game on March 19, facing five batters and allowing one run in one inning of relief. Martinez hopes Rainey will be his closer, but if that doesn’t work, Doolittle could get the call. Cishek also has 132 career saves.

Machado fires 96 to 97 mph fastballs and has looked solid in a handful of spring games.

Martinez is giving Machado a roster spot because of that velocity, but he must demonstrate he can also throw strikes.

Veteran Tyler Clippard, 37, is back with the Nationals organization after playing in D.C. from 2008 to 2014 and will begin the season at

Michelle Goldchain

SPORTS BASEBALL

Triple-A Rochester. If things don’t go well for the bullpen early, Clippard could be called up to remedy.

Going on the Offensive

Historically, Rizzo loves to build his teams with quality starters and solid catching. This year, he shifted from employing veteran catchers like Yan Gomes and Kurt Suzuki and instead traded for 23-year-old top prospect Keibert Ruiz, formerly of the Dodgers, and 25-yearold Riley Adams, formerly of the Toronto Blue Jays.

The offense will be built around 23-yearold superstar Juan Soto in the No. 2 slot in the lineup, followed by veteran slugger Nelson Cruz, and 29-year-old first baseman Josh Bell. Cruz, 41, was the biggest offseason addition to the Nats lineup and will be the team’s first-ever full-time designated hitter. He ranks third on the MLB active home run list with 449 in 17 seasons. Martinez believes having Bell hit after Cruz will also help the first baseman, who got off to a slow start last season.

If the Nats offense does well, it will be because hitters Nos. 1 through 4 are delivering.

The Nats’ newest leadoff hitter is 31-year-old veteran second baseman César Hernández, who has played in the majors for nine seasons,

spending time with the Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago White Sox, and Cleveland Guardians.

As with Cruz, the skipper believes the addition of Hernández will help the club’s younger roster.

In Transition

The only major holdover in the infield is first baseman Bell. Several journeymen will get the opportunity to start for this rebuilding squad.

Alcides Escobar “will get the bulk of the playing time at shortstop,” according to Martinez.

Escobar, 35, has played more than 1,500 games over 12 campaigns. His 75 games with the Nats last season were his first MLB games since 2018.

Maikel Franco, 29, gets the nod at third base with 24-year-old Carter Kieboom on the 60-day injured list due to an elbow injury.

Ehire Adrianza was on pace to be the roster’s jack-of-all-trades until a quad injury slowed him. Martinez says he loves the versatility the 32-year-old switch-hitter brings, with the ability to play every infield spot and substitute in the outfield.

This opens the door for 33-year-old Dee Strange-Gordon: He can play infield and outfield spots, demonstrating his slick glove with a play at second base to save a hit against

the Mets late in spring training. Lucius Fox, 24, will step into the backup shortstop role with Adrianza out and Escobar dealing with a stiff neck. Infielder Luis García, 21, got a taste with the Nats last year and could get more playing time later this season. Martinez wants to get to the point where García is an everyday big league player, but that time isn’t now.

Not to Be Outdone

Even though he’s had a rough couple of seasons, Martinez is still confident in the former top prospect Victor Robles. And with the way the season looks like it’s going to play out for the Nationals, the upside for the 24-year-old Robles is still there. He has all the tools to be a quality center fielder and seemingly unfulfilled potential the Nationals covet. The Nats and Robles recently avoided arbitration and have agreed to a one-year, $1.65 million deal.

Lane Thomas, 26, provides depth in center and left fields, showing some flashes with his bat in 2021 after being acquired from the St. Louis Cardinals. Thomas hit .270 with seven homers and 27 RBIs in 45 games with the Nats. Yadiel Hernández, 34, makes the roster because of his bat and hopes to be able to hold his own on defense in left field. Plus, as a left-handed bat, he can be the designated hitter

should Cruz need a day off. Hernández hit .273 with nine homers and 32 RBIs in 112 games last season.

Somewhat surprisingly, the Nats sent outfielder and lefty bat Andrew Stevenson, 27, to Triple-A Rochester the last week of training camp. That leaves Soto rounding out the outfield. The big question for the Nats and Soto is when the team will iron out a long-term contract with the power hitter, something that did not happen with stars Bryce Harper, Anthony Rendon, or Turner.

Soto is a franchise player and opposing teams must build their strategy around how to slow him. Batting in the No. 2 slot will hopefully provide Soto with at least 14 more at-bats on average this season, and he will be crucial to setting the tone on the scoreboard. Soto reportedly turned down a contract extension worth $350 million for 13 years in February, but agreed on a one-year, $17.1 million contract for this season. The Nats have him through the end of the 2024 season before free agency arrives.

Making the postseason may not be realistic for the 2022 Nats, but the season may be fondly remembered if the organization can find a way to lock up Soto before the price tag reaches a half billion dollars. Take any bright spots you can.

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 8, 2022 5

The Story of

Pictureman Keith Salley, known to some as Pictureman, died in a Northwest D.C. encampment in early January.

Despite knowing his identity, Metropolitan Police Department officials didn’t inform his next of kin for nearly a month.

By Ruben Castaneda

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

6 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

F

or most of the past couple of years, street artist Keith Salley was a familiar presence on U Street NW and 14th Street NW just north of Rhode Island Avenue. He’d post up, open the black portfolio where he kept his art supplies, and do sketches for pay.

Everyone on the streets where he chose to live knew Salley as “Pictureman.” Sometimes he slept in a tent in a small encampment just east of Thomas Circle; at other times, he opted to spend the night in another tent community on a small triangular strip of grass at 12th and K streets NW. Everywhere he went, Pictureman carried his portfolio.

Much of the time, Pictureman was a friendly, positive presence who had relatives and friends who loved him. He drew detailed portraits, some of which he posted on his two Facebook pages, along with public messages of encouragement. But, as his mother, Connie Jones, acknowledges, he was in and out of jail and prison his entire adult life. In addition to being known as Pictureman, he used two other names, according to D.C. Superior Court records.

Marco Woodson, who lives in the tent encampment near Thomas Circle, says he tried unsuccessfully to rouse his friend Pictureman and invite him to a nearby tent heated by a generator on the night of Jan. 9. The low overnight temperature was 29 degrees Fahrenheit, according to the National Weather Service. “I tried to get him out of his nod,” Woodson, 58, says, using the term for heroin or fentanyl users who fall asleep after ingesting their dope. Pictureman used both drugs, Woodson says.

The next morning, Woodson found his friend’s body inside the unheated tent. “He was stiff as a board,” Woodson says.

First responders from the D.C. Fire and EMS Department arrived around 8:45 a.m. on Jan. 10, and found Pictureman—who was considered a John Doe at the time—deceased, according to FEMS spokesperson Jennifer Donelan. He was 52.

D.C. police are responsible for notifying the next

of kin of people who die in public spaces in the District. They routinely break the news of a loved one’s death, whether it be by homicide, suicide, a car accident, an industrial accident, or a drug overdose.

At the D.C. Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, where Pictureman’s body was taken, staff members rolled his fingerprints, learned his legal name, and notified police on Jan. 11, one day after the body was brought to the morgue. If the system had functioned properly, a detective would have located Pictureman’s relatives, perhaps by looking at an affidavit written by fellow MPD officers that listed the address of his mother.

But the system didn’t work as it should have. On Feb. 3, I, not D.C. police, ended up notifying Pictureman’s relatives about his death. The family believes that if it were not for my efforts, OCME authorities may have cremated or disposed of Pictureman’s body, preventing them from having a funeral.

The cause and manner of Pictureman’s death remain pending, Rodney Adams, general counsel for OCME, wrote in a Feb. 9 email. Under D.C. law, OCME officials don’t provide additional details about deaths to protect the privacy of relatives. As of press time, Pictureman’s relatives say the medical examiner has yet to contact them about his cause of death.

Two of Pictureman’s relatives say OCME officials told them authorities were awaiting the results of toxicology tests before issuing a ruling on the cause of death. Such tests would determine if drugs played a role.

“I’m hoping that’s not what took him out,” says Jones, his mother, who lives in Southeast D.C. “If it is, I’ll just have to deal with it.”

Over the years, Pictureman had tried to quit using drugs. “He said, ‘Ma, I be trying, but it be calling my name,’” she says. Pictureman walked away from a residential treatment facility last November, two months before his death, according to D.C. Superior Court records filed in connection with an artwork

theft he was charged with. The charges were pending when he died.

Pictureman didn’t spend time around his family when he was using drugs, according to his sister Korita Miller, who also lives in the District. “When he was that way, he didn’t come around us,” she says.

“It was a part of him he didn’t want us to see. That’s my perception. If he came around me [when he was high], I’d give him the blues. I guess he didn’t want anybody to feel disappointed in him. He didn’t want his mom to see him that way, he didn’t want me to see him that way. He knew we’d go back and forth. I’d tell him, ‘Why are you doing that?’”

In photos on Facebook taken within a couple of years of his death, Pictureman, who was about 6 feet tall, looks fit and healthy. Jones says he was a health zealot, especially when it came to his eating regimen. “He used to say most of the stuff (we) eat is not right,” she says. “He ate a lot of vegetables and fresh fruits. For breakfast, he’d eat oatmeal or raisin bran, every once in a while, bacon and eggs. Some days he’d eat plain oatmeal all day long.”

Woodson and a couple of people who live in the tent encampment at 12th and K NW say Pictureman was a well-liked, friendly person. “He drew sketches and he had side hustles, like mowing lawns and shoveling snow,” Woodson says. “He was generous.

If he had a little money, he’d share with his friends.”

Destiny Simpson

Pictureman was born in Brooklyn, and his family moved to South Carolina when he was about 6, Jones says. He had asthma, and a doctor said he’d do much better if he was in the South.

Her son’s artistic ability was “a gift from God,” Jones says. He started sketching as a young boy.

“He’d stay up all night drawing,” she says. “He was completely self-taught.”

Sometime after Pictureman graduated from high school, Jones says, she brought her family to the District. “I had a brother here,” she says.

Pictureman’s sister Korita says her brother was rocked by the deaths of his grandparents and an aunt he was close to in 2000. “I just think my brother never recovered from that,” she says. She believes his drug use increased in the wake of those deaths. “My brother wasn’t the type of person who could handle a whole [lot[ of stuff,” she says. “He didn’t take a lot of bad things well. [Drugs] were his outlet.”

Pictureman had four biological adult children with two different women, relatives say. A fifth child, whose mother is Geraldine Simpson-Hicks of Atlanta, with whom Pictureman had two children, also considers him her father, because he raised her.

Simpson-Hicks says she and Pictureman maintained a cordial relationship over the years and spoke now and then on the phone. “We just didn’t work,” she says.

Jones and other relatives say that Pictureman didn’t have to live on the streets. After he was released from his last incarceration, in 2019, he moved into his mom’s apartment, but he left of his own accord last May or June, she says. He stayed in touch with her and other family members, calling periodically. Jones says she last spoke to him on the phone on January 6, four days before his body was found.

“He sounded like my regular Keith,” Jones says, “He said, ‘I’ve been doing some crazy stuff, but I’m going to make you proud of me.’”

Jones says she wasn’t aware of what “crazy stuff” Pictureman may have been up to. D.C. Superior Court records suggest he remained known to local law enforcement. Last August, Pictureman allegedly stole two large pieces of art that were hung in the lobby of a condo building in the 1400 block of Church Street NW, a few blocks from Thomas Circle.

The two pieces of art were seen outside a tent where Pictureman was staying, according to an affidavit filed by MPD officers. Mike Stoner, a member of the condo building’s board, says in an interview that no one from the condo board wanted to press charges, they just wanted the artwork back. Nevertheless, authorities charged Pictureman. He told officers he’d obtained the artwork from an unknown person, according to the police affidavit. A man who fit Pictureman’s description was captured on video from the condo building’s lobby, according to the affidavit.

Officers eventually returned the artwork.

That wasn’t Pictureman’s first criminal charge. In April 2016, he was charged with robbing a woman who worked at a parking lot in the 600 block of H Street NW. A concerned citizen alerted officers to the possible robbery, and the officers chased and arrested Pictureman, who had $131 in cash and an iPhone with a pink case in his pockets. The victim identified him at the scene, as well as her iPhone, according to an affidavit the arresting officers filed.

In connection with the H Street NW robbery and an earlier theft of two sets of headphones from the Target on 14th Street NW, Pictureman pleaded guilty to one count of robbery and one count of seconddegree theft, according to D.C. Superior Court documents. A judge sentenced him to three years and six months in prison, and six months of supervised release.

In March 2016, the month before the robbery on H Street NW, Fairfax County police arrested Pictureman for a grocery store burglary. Authorities subsequently charged him with burglary, grand larceny, and grand larceny with intent to sell, according a report in Patch. He didn’t show up for court dates in connection with those charges, according to court records.

Jones says she believes Pictureman committed crimes when he was using drugs, either because his judgment was compromised, or because he needed to obtain funds quickly to get his next fix.

On Feb. 16, about 50 people filled the chapel at Johnson & Jenkins Funeral Home on Kennedy Street NW. Pictureman’s mother, his sister, at least three of his adult children, and assorted cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends gathered to pay their respects.

A couple dozen mourners who weren’t allowed into the room due to COVID-19 capacity restrictions milled about outside.

One of Pictureman’s daughters, Destiny Simpson, 29, delivered one of the eulogies, emphasizing how her father always encouraged her. “He’d say, ‘Fulfill your dreams,’” she said. “I know if he were here today, he’d say, ‘If you have a dream, a gift inside you, don’t let it die.’” Simpson recalled how her father had buoyed her spirits when she was homeless. “I’m thankful for the encouragement,” she said. “When everybody else doubted me, he pushed me.” At the service, Simpson wore a purple satin jacket trimmed in gold. The purple represents royalty, and gold is for victory, she says.

In an interview following the service, Simpson said her dad pushed her to make the most of her creative talents. “Whatever was going on, he’d say, ‘Did you write that song yet?’” she said. A couple of years ago, Simpson said, she was sleeping in her car. Now, she’s writing two books and is busy with a dance ministry for youth she founded near Hampton, Virginia.

In the middle of the hour-long service, Jones summoned me to the front row. She asked me to say a few words, about how I’d met her and other family members.

When I first learned of Pictureman, I set out to write about his life as a street artist and his death in a tent on a frigid night. I never imagined I’d have to perform a task that is the responsibility of D.C. police. MPD’s general orders, which detail the responsibilities of officers in the department, have a section on notification of next of kin. MPD officers are responsible for notifying the next of kin of anyone who dies on public land in D.C., the orders say.

They list a wide array of causes of death, including vehicle crashes, industrial accidents, criminal acts, noncriminal incidents, suicides, and natural deaths.

Pictureman did not have identification on him when his body was found, authorities say. When someone in the District dies with identification, the task of finding and notifying next of kin is usually routine. For example, if the identification has an address, detectives can simply knock on that door, says William “Lou” Hennessy, who served as the commander of the D.C. homicide branch from 1993 to 1995. Detectives would also check criminal records to look for an address and would ask friends and associates if they knew about relatives. “It’s usually not Marco Woodson

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 8, 2022 7

that hard to find next of kin if they have ID,” he says.

D.C. police somewhat frequently notify relatives of people experiencing homelessness who have died.

Between Jan. 1, 2021, and Dec. 11, 2021, a total of 124 homeless people died in the District, according to OCME. They died of an array of causes, including accident (55), natural causes (30), homicide (14), and undetermined (6).

MPD’s general orders say that once investigating officers have determined the next of kin of someone who died, “notifications shall take place in person, as soon as possible.” Officers conducting this task should display empathy and compassion, and should bring materials with resources for grief counseling and mental health support, the relevant general order says.

How did a journalist get in touch with relatives of a man who died in D.C. before police detectives, who have an array of resources, such as access to law enforcement databases, that a civilian doesn’t?

The best way to explain how this happened— and MPD’s shifting explanations—is to provide a chronology of what I learned and was told regarding police efforts to find and notify Pictureman’s next of kin.

In mid-January, a few days after Pictureman’s death, I talked to Sophie Vick, a private investigator who lives near Thomas Circle and who sometimes talked to Pictureman, whom she considered an acquaintance. I’d met Vick years earlier in connection

with local murder cases I had covered when I worked for the Washington Post, and that she was investigating on behalf of the Innocence Project. Vick told me about Pictureman’s death and said she thought there should be a story about him and what she considers the city’s indifference toward unhoused people. Vick had been trying to find family members because she wanted to be sure they got his artwork, which she believed authorities had recovered. When I started working on the story, she put more time and effort into finding Pictureman’s relatives, and passed leads along to me.

On Jan. 19, I emailed Kristen Metzger, the deputy director of MPD’s communications office, to introduce myself and let her know I was looking into the death of a man whose body was found inside a tent near Thomas Circle. I asked if she had any information about the death. She responded, “We are looking into this. Right now we have a death report taken on 1/10/22 in Thomas Circle but the decedent is still listed as a John Doe. OCME (Office of the Chief Medical Examiner) would have more info on the cause and manner of death. We can let you know once we have an ID.” The next day, Jan. 20, I emailed Metzger back, letting her know that my understanding was that the name of the man who died was Keith Salley, commonly known as Pictureman. I wrote that Pictureman had a Facebook page, and offered to share a link to it. “Yes, please share,” Metzger responded. The following day, I sent Metzger links to both of Pictureman’s Facebook pages, thinking that MPD might use the pages to find Pictureman’s relatives and notify

8 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

them of his death.

A day or so later, I started messaging people connected to Pictureman on Facebook. I assumed detectives would find them first, and by the time I spoke to any relatives, they would have been notified of the death.

For nearly two weeks, I didn’t get any responses, and thought I might have to write a story without any input from the family. But shortly after 3 a.m. on Feb. 3, my cellphone rang. I let it go to voicemail. It rang again, and again I didn’t answer. It rang a third time—now I was alarmed.

It was Keith Salley, one of Pictureman’s sons.

I’d sent a Facebook message to his sister, Keisha, who asked him to call me. Salley, known within the family as “Lil’ Keith,” asked me what I knew about his father.

“The police haven’t contacted you yet?” I asked him.

“No,” he replied.

I felt I had no choice; I told him I was sorry, but I’d learned that his father had died on Jan. 10 inside a tent near Thomas Circle, and he should get in contact with D.C. police or the medical examiner’s office. The phone call was brief. A few minutes later, Keisha called, and I told her the same thing. Both said they’d be in touch with OCME that morning.

A couple of days later, I spoke for the first time with Korita Miller, Salley’s sister. She told me that the same day I talked to Keith and Keisha, she and Keisha talked to someone with the medical examiner’s office, who told her authorities had known her brother’s identity within a few days of his

body being brought to the morgue. The OCME staff member had explained that morgue workers had rolled Pictureman’s fingerprints and had identified him through his contacts with the criminal justice system, Miller related.

February 3 was a Thursday; the staff worker also told Miller that if no family member had stepped forward to claim the body, OCME would have cremated it that weekend—that is, within 48 to 72 hours.

I contacted Rodney Adams, OCME’s counsel, to verify the family’s account. Adams reiterated that the cause of Pictureman’s death was pending, and declined to comment on Miller’s account, citing D.C. code and the privacy interests of survivors.

The relevant section of the D.C. Code reads: “Bodies which are unidentified or unclaimed after a period of fifteen (15) days following the reception at the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner shall be released to an educational institution for the purpose of transplantation, therapy, research or education pursuant to law, shall be cremated, or otherwise disposed of according to law.”

Further, Adams wrote: “OCME will hold a body beyond 15 days for as long as a family needs to make final arrangements. In some cases, a family will not claim a decedent’s remains. The unidentified or unclaimed are cremated and honored each year in a public interfaith memorial ceremony at Congressional Cemetery.”

If OCME knew Pictureman’s identity by Jan. 17 at the latest, why hadn’t police contacted relatives before I did?

In response to a series of emailed questions,

Metzger replied that OCME notified homicide detectives of Pictureman’s identity on Feb. 3, the day Keith Salley called me. Miller says someone at OCME provided her and Keisha with the phone number of an MPD detective. They called the investigator, who made the official notification of Pictureman’s death.

But if OCME knew Pictureman’s identity by midJanuary, why had it waited until Feb. 3 to notify MPD? On Monday, April 4, I sent a portion of this narrative to Metzger and to Adams, along with a series of follow-up questions. Adams declined to comment.

However, in an email sent on the afternoon of April 5, Metzger acknowledged that OCME had notified MPD of Pictureman’s identity on Jan. 11, the day after his body was brought to OCME. Responding to a series of questions by email, Metzger wrote, “I went back to our detectives to get additional clarity on this. The decedent passed on January 10, 2022, and was brought to OCME on that date. On January 11, OCME notified MPD of the decedent’s identity.

On February 3, the next of kin contacted OCME stating that they had been notified of the death. The OCME then reached out to the MPD detective, who followed up directly with the next of kin to inform them of the death.”

I asked if Metzger could explain why MPD did not follow up on the 2016 affidavit MPD officers filed in connection with the robbery on H Street NW. That document included a Southeast D.C. address as Pictureman’s last known address.

Metzger responded, “MPD had numerous contacts with the decedent after 2016, and he was listed with no fixed address in these instances.”

In a recent interview, Jones, Pictureman’s mother, says that someone official—perhaps a probation officer—knocked on her door in November or December, looking for Pictureman. She says the man said something about Pictureman failing to appear for an appointment. I asked Metzger whether MPD ever checked with probation or parole officials to try to find Pictureman’s next of kin, and she responded, “MPD uses all available resources available to us and were unable to locate a next of kin through these resources.”

Jones also said that for a time, when he was living with her, Pictureman received food stamps. I asked Metzger if MPD checked public assistance records to try to find Pictureman’s next of kin? She responded, “MPD uses all available resources available to us and were unable to locate a next of kin through these resources.”

What about Facebook, which I used to message Pictureman’s relatives? In early February, after Pictureman’s relatives contacted me, I’d asked Metzger if MPD tried to find and reach his next of kin through social media platforms.

MPD investigators do not send messages to potential relatives on Facebook, she responded. She suggested officers and detectives had privacy concerns. If you message someone on Facebook, they can typically see your Facebook page. That policy isn’t unique among area police departments.

For instance, Fairfax County police don’t use Facebook to message potential relatives of someone who’s died, says Sgt. Tara Gerhard, a spokesperson for the department. For one thing, the way the department’s Facebook page is set up, police can only message people who comment on the page or who send a message on it. “We’ll do whatever it takes to notify relatives of a death,” Gerhard says. For example, if police have a prescription medication bottle of someone who died, investigators will call the doctor who issued the prescription to ask if the individual had an emergency contact, who is often a relative.

But in recent days, Miller, Pictureman’s sister, told me that when she called the OCME’s office on Feb. 3, and subsequently contacted the detective who made the official notification of Pictureman’s death, the detective told her he had tried to reach Pictureman’s next of kin through Facebook, but had received no response. Miller told me that neither she nor anyone else in the family received a Facebook message from a detective or an officer. “The only (Facebook) message anyone got was from you,” she told me.

When I asked Metzger about Miller’s account, she responded, “On January 20, an MPD detec-

tive reached out over Facebook to two individuals thought to have been relatives of the decedent.

Those individuals did not follow up with the detective. MPD does not make next of kin death notification over Facebook, but will use it to find potential relatives.” This is a marked change from Metzger’s previous explanation that MPD does not use Facebook to try to reach people.

Mitch Credle, a 29-year member of MPD, retired in 2015 after serving 23 years as a homicide detective.

He says Facebook can be a useful investigative tool, one that police should use. “If we’d had social media in the ’90s, you’re damn right I would have used it,” he says. “I would have used it to widen my ability to reach and know people.”

My early morning phone call with Keith Salley was not the first time it’s fallen to a civilian to notify relatives of the death of an unhoused person in the District.

During her 35 years working as a social worker for the Downtown Cluster of Congregations, Julie Turner says she’s notified family members of the death of a homeless person three times, though not since 2014 or so.

Systemically, she believes MPD could do a better job reaching out to the network of providers of homeless services when they’re trying to identify an unhoused person who died or to reach their next of kin. She and other providers might have known the person or their friends, and they could check with each other. ”[MPD has] never contacted me, except when they’re trying to find a suspect,” she says. “For heaven’s sake, they solve murders. How hard is it to get someone to pick up the phone and reach a provider who can try to help them find family members?”

Jones and Miller expressed a mixture of disappointment and anger when I told them on April 5 that MPD had in fact known Pictureman’s identity since Jan. 11, the day after he was taken to OCME. “That’s crazy,” Miller says. “I’m at a loss for words.

You knew he had family out there, and you didn’t try to reach out to no one? It’s beyond ‘the ball got dropped.’ They just passed the ball off. They didn’t put no effort in.”

“If they knew who he was, that is really bad,” Jones says. “I mean, why wouldn’t they let me know? They come to my door when they’re looking for him, why couldn’t they come to my door to let me know when he died? I guess when you’re homeless, they think you have nobody and nobody cares.”

Ward 1 Councilmember Brianne Nadeau, who chairs the Council’s Committee on Human Services, has advocated for programs to fight homelessness.

Her efforts led to the addition of $100 million in the District budget over the past five years, primarily through budget amendments.

When I asked her about the MPD’s failure to notify Pictureman’s next of kin, she said, “We have to do our best to notify relatives (of unhoused people who die in D.C.) in a way that’s not overly alarming or distressing. It’s already going to be traumatic … We really need to do everything we can.”

As of April 6, Jones and Miller say the OCME hasn’t notified them about Pictureman’s cause of death. It’s not uncommon for it to take 90 days for toxicology reports to come back.

Two days before Pictureman’s funeral, a group of about a half-dozen of his relatives, including his mother, his sister, and his son Keith, visited the homeless encampment near Thomas Circle where he died.

Miller says she told his friends, “We’re his family by blood, but y’all were his family by choice out here.” She and other relatives told Pictureman’s friends they were welcome to come to the funeral if they could make it. “His friends seemed to be nice people,” Jones says.

Among other things, they asked Pictureman’s friends if they knew what had happened to him and if they knew the whereabouts of his portfolio with his artwork. Pictureman’s friends didn’t know. Family members say police haven’t told them anything about finding Pictureman’s portfolio. Woodson, Pictureman’s friend who found his body, Jones, and Miller say they don’t know where the portfolio is.

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FOOD SPIRITS

Bottle Service A new Black-owned spirits subscription service is bringing luxury to D.C.’s doorsteps.

the personalized recommendations are meant to help people overcome that fear. Franklin is hoping the cocktail recipes she designs nudge members to enjoy spirits neat.

“You may be able to learn a cocktail starting from spirits,” Franklin says.

Right now, Sip+Tipple offers two levels of membership: standard and connoisseur.

Customers at the standard level ($150 a quarter) get two bottles from their curated recommendation list, tasting notes, and cocktail recipes, access to the company’s online store of Black-owned spirit brands at members-only prices, and access to the company’s live and virtual events with various partners, chefs, and award-winning mixologists. The first members-only event is a private brunch with Kevin Larkai, owner of Blackleaf Vodka.

For $199 a quarter, people at the connoisseur level get all those same benefits, plus early access to new products and limited items, being among the first to select their quarterly delivery, and assistance planning a tasting.

Hall hopes Sip+Tipple acts as a one-stop shop to support and learn about Black-owned brands. She secures bottles from distributors or directly from the brands.

Hall leans on the experience she learned as a personal shopper assistant for Neiman

10 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

Guidance Whiskey, a Black-owned brand based in Nashville, is one of the spirits Sip+Tipple secures for its members.

Courtesy of Kimberly Hall

Inspiration for Sip+Tipple, a D.C.based Black spirits membership program, came to its founder while she was scrolling through her Instagram feed in 2020.

While in quarantine, Kimberly Hall, who also serves as the company’s chief curator, came across a post from Angel Anderson, the owner of Spice Suite in Takoma. Her post promoted Blackleaf Vodka, a Black-owned organic vodka with D.C. roots. Hall tried to secure several bottles, but none of the liquor stores near her home in Deanwood, a majority Black Ward 7 neighborhood, carried it.

She eventually found it 25 minutes away in Woodley Park.

She remembered a friend having a similar experience trying to secure bottles of a Blackowned bourbon that took her all over D.C. and to a few websites.

Hall, who purchased spirits from local distilleries near her, such as Republic Restoratives and Cotton & Reed, to support them during the pandemic, didn’t think customers should have to work so hard to find Black-owned spirit brands.

So in Febr uar y 202 2, she lau nched Sip+Tipple, which does it for them.

“I wanted something that I felt was descriptive of drinking and spirits, but also something that was kind of light and fun,” Hall says of the company’s name. “And tipple is just another word for drink—it means to drink habitually.”

Hall brought Tracie Franklin on board as a consultant to recommend bottles and develop cocktail recipes that match patrons’ flavor palates. Franklin, who lives in Upper Northwest, previously spent more than a decade working as spirits brand ambassador for Glenfiddich Scotch Whisky, Rhum J.M, and Angel’s Envy Whiskey. The former bartender also holds several wine and spirits certifications.

Hall works as director of communications for a democracy law firm. She jokes that she has “absolutely zero experience” in the spirits industry, “other than partaking.”

To use Sip+Tipple, prospective purchasers take an online quiz to help Franklin determine their flavor profile. After that, they can expect two, full-size bottles and cocktail recipes that match and expand their profiles, shipped to their doorstep. For now, only D.C. addresses are eligible to participate.

“It was best for me to start in D.C., get some proof of concept, work through some of the kinks and hopefully move to some other states,” Hall says.

At times, she says, people are hesitant to buy a bottle of something they’ve never heard of, so

Courtesy of Kimberly Hall

By Lenore T. Adkins Contributing Writer

Kimberly Hall

Marcus in Florida to curate a luxurious experience for members. All new members receive lead-free crystal snifters, for example. As membership grows—around 20 people have joined the club so far—Hall hopes to conduct at-home tastings for top-level members that include tasting kits.

A nyone interested in joining should

know Sip+Tipple celebrates and appreciates Blackness. Luxury is the baseline expectation.

“It’s important for Sip+Tipple to be an experience that reflects the power of that dollar,” Hall says. “There’s no reason why we shouldn’t be catered to and have the opportunity to support brands that represent our culture, our values, and our community.”

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FOOD CARRYOUT CRITIC

Lots to Luv Our carryout critic balances jerk chicken heat with mac & cheese LuvPlates Soul & Grill is a Black-owned carryout restaurant that serves soul food with a Caribbean influence. Owners Jamar Johnson and Jacob Vcelik started booking catering events and serving lunch from a food truck in downtown D.C. in 2016. Their first food stand opened at the Savor Food Hall (now miXt Food Hall) in Brentwood in October 2019. They relocated and opened their first storefront in July 2021, nestled in a tiny strip mall in District Heights.

Walking into LuvPlates, you’ll find a colorful hand-painted mural featuring women eating in front of the Maryland state flag. A cake stand with portions of sweet cornbread sits on the countertop in front of a spacious open kitchen, where you can watch the chefs prepare your meals. A warming table holds the ready-made items, while other items are cooked to order.

LuvPlates’ selling point is the build-yourown platter. Mix and match two or three of their proteins, veggies, and grains in any combination that suits your appetite. You are not limited to ordering one protein with a side or two, for example. “We believe our food should be enjoyed buffet style,” Johnson says. Order a plate full of chicken if you want!

On my first trip to LuvPlates, regulars insisted I order the jerk chicken. It’s the first time I can recall that many people recommending a single menu item. Totally worth it. Chicken wings chill for two days in a spicy house-made jerk marinade, which brings some heat from Scotch bonnet peppers, before roasting in the oven. Pair the super tender chicken with a heaping serving of their World Famous Mac & Cheese to help tame the spiciness of the jerk seasoning.

The Fall Off the Bone Ribs are true to their name. The spare pork ribs marinate for two to three days before cooks sprinkle a house dry rub, wrap them in aluminum foil, and roast them for 90 minutes before slathering them with barbecue sauce. One hungry customer purchased six full slabs before I arrived, so I missed out on these on my initial trip and had to swing by for another visit. That succulent rib meat pulls right off the bone on the first bite.

I don’t blame that customer for his enormous order, but save some for me next time!

The halal chicken is another barbecue option.

Cooks grill the chicken thighs and slather them with a slightly sweet barbecue sauce. The final product is a nice, juicy bite of chicken, served on your choice of fluffy jasmine rice or turmericseasoned red beans and rice.

Pan-seared or grilled salmon fillets are available for an upcharge, cooked to order. All their proteins are available as sandwiches served on a buttered and toasted potato bun. Other

Crystal Fernanders

By Crystal Fernanders Contributing Writer

DEVELOP YOUR ENGLISH SKILLS FOR A CAREER IN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT Native speakers of critical languages are in high demand in the US government. EHLS trains advanced English speakers to be effective communicators and strong candidates for federal jobs.

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mix-and-match options include melt-in-yourmouth collard greens slow cooked with smoked turkey, and LuvPlates keeps a veggie dish of the day on rotation such as spicy yellow steamed cabbage and sautéed corn.

LuvPlates also features a rotating list of specials. Every Tuesday, they serve their DC Gumbo with halal chicken and a spicy turkey sausage that simmers low and slow for about four hours. The all-beef “Luvsagna” is their version of lasagna. It’s made with a creamy béchamel sauce instead of the traditional ricotta cheese, and saucy ragu is mixed with small diced zucchini, broccoli florets, peppers, and onions. It’s available on Fridays and Saturdays, and it sells out pretty quickly. It is so popular, one customer tried it once and then ordered three full pans for a work event.

LuvPlates is a great spot to visit if you’re looking for comfort food in a hurry, and don’t forget to grab something sweet! Individual servings of the chef ’s daily dessert are on display by the pickup window. Red velvet cake slices are usually available. Scoops of peach cobbler and chocolate chip blondie squares are part of their rotation.

The fusion takeout spot is also veteranowned. Vcelik retired from the Air Force after serving for nine years. The restaurant honors a 15 percent discount for all veterans.

LuvPlates is also available on third-party delivery apps. Orders can be placed in person or over the phone for pickup. Call the store directly for catering events or to book their food truck.

Store hours are noon to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday, noon to 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday.

Prices range from $6 to $21.

LuvPlates Soul & Grill, 6120 Marlboro Pk., District Heights. (301) 420-1119. luvplates.com.

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ARTS COMEDY Courtesy of Sirius XM

Seismic Activity He’s been in the game for more than 30 years, but thanks to a new Netflix special, D.C. comedian Earthquake is finally making the world feel his aftershock.

By Alexis P. Williams Contributing Writer S e rge a n t Nat h a n i e l M a rt i n Stroman was a “terrible soldier.” He’ll tell you so himself. From half-heartedly participating in battle simulations to constantly questioning authority, the former U.S. Air Force member, better known as Earthquake, regularly deploys jokes about his time in the service in his stand-up routines. But after more than three decades in the game, the comedy veteran says it’s “About Got Damm Time” for his salute.

In his new Netf lix special, Legendary, Quake—as he’s called by real fans—delivers blunt musings on being a single father of three, dark humor on mortality, and strikingly profound commentary on health within the Black community. Delivered in an unmistakable “Souf-eas” D.C. accent, Quake’s comedy style feels like cracking jokes with your uncle at a family barbecue in Rock Creek Park. It’s that down-to-earth authenticity and effortless connection with his audience that reverberates most in this special.

“My fans already know what I am,” Quake tells City Paper. “You’re dealing with something that’s subjective … I tell comedians all the time, ‘[There’s] always gonna be somebody that finds you not to be funny. They’re not gonna like none of your jokes. You just hope all those people don’t show up that night.”

In Legendary, Earthquake recounts going to the doctor’s office for a prostate exam, reenacts how he would have handled the Jan. 6 insurrection as a Capitol Police officer, and complains about friends and family who scoffed at him for getting the COVID-19 vaccine. As he slides across the stage telling the crowd how his physician “seductively” took off his medical gloves post-test or why he wants a woman who’s as devoted to him as a Trump supporter, he delivers his signature aftershock line, “These Ain’t Jokes!”

Quake clarifies: Jokes are fiction. “I make

Nathaniel Martin Stroman, aka Earthquake

real-life events funny.” That includes calling out friends who blame chronic coughs on “allergies” or invest more time in their appearance rather than checking their blood pressure. Quake jokes in Legendary, “You got brothers out here been wearing a mask straight for 18 months, ain’t seen a dentist in 18 years.”

12 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

The legend of Earthquake began on Condon Terrace in Southeast’s Washington Highlands neighborhood in 1963. It was there that a young Stroman tried to find his voice among his four, equally funny siblings.

“When [you’re] in a big family, when you talk you gotta make your words count or you’ll

never get to talk again so you gotta get to the point,” he says. “When a mother has five kids, she don’t have no time for you to go all around the [mulberry] bush.”

As a student at “big, bad Ballou” High School, Quake got a glimpse of the spotlight while hanging out at venues like the Maverick

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 8, 2022 13

ARTS COMEDY Room and Howard Theatre with members of the then up-and-coming go-go band Rare Essence.

“Little Benny, Dave, Footz, DC—all of them was my classmates and they was like the Jackson 5 so I hung with them and went to all the go-gos and stayed till 4, 5 o’clock in the morning,” he says.

Years later, he still incorporates D.C.’s signature sound and musicians with local ties into his live act. The aptly named Wale song “Legendary” sets the tone for Quake’s special, in which he approaches the microphone smoothly rapping along with the D.C. hiphop artist’s lyrics, “You keep praying on your break, I hope you got a sling/ Shot for all them shots coming out them beaks.”

“D.C. got the hardest people in the world, you hear me?” he tells City Paper. “D.C. [loves] their entertainers, but they’re the last ones to shell out the flowers for them.”

He made sure to not only bring the heat in Legendary but also put on for his city. “I want to come home and see how it is,” the comic, who now lives in Los Angeles, tells the roaring crowd at Bethesda Blues & Jazz Supper Club, where the special was recorded. The audience was filled with his friends and family. “And goddamn it, I’m feeling good,” he concludes.

But when he got the call to do the show

from the president of Netflix himself, in winter 2020, Quake thought he was the one being played. Ted Sarandos told Earthquake that fellow D.C. comedian Dave Chappelle wanted his number to formally ask to produce his special. Five minutes later, the phone rang.

Legendary is one of four Netflix stand-up specials produced by Chappelle.

The two comedians first met in the ’90s when Earthquake owned several comedy clubs in Atlanta, one of which booked a young Chappelle. The rest, as they say, is history.

Quake found himself in Atlanta after being dishonorably discharged from the Air Force for refusing to fight in the Gulf War after 11 years of service. He chose the Georgia capital after watching a CNN story that said Atlanta was the best city for Black people to prosper.

Quake sharpened his comedy skills at clubs in the South, but it wasn’t until he was rejected by what he deemed the “premier Black comedy club,” Comedy Act Theater, that he sought a new avenue to success. A little guidance from his mother helped Quake get the last laugh.

“She said, ‘Well, get your own comedy club,’ and that’s what I did,” he says. “I found some investors, got $750,000, built out the club in Buckhead, Atlanta. It became the most successful comedy club in Atlanta. Closed the other club that denied me to step on stage,

closed them down.” Quake accomplished that feat within six months of living in Atlanta.

Although he owned the club for 10 years, the itch for what he calls “the make it bag” (a successful career in stand-up that becomes an eponymous TV show that parlays into a blockbuster movie career, etc.) grew stronger.

He performed on national platforms, including Def Comedy Jam, BET’s ComicView, and HBO’s One Night Stand, but that glimmer of mainstream success always bafflingly eluded his grasp. Eventually, like many greats before him, Quake figured he’d shake up the comedy scene in LA. In the early 2000s, between stand-up appearances, he had roles on the sitcom Everybody Hates Chris and in movies such as Clerks II and The Longshots, but still wasn’t a household name. The stand-up to TV and film strategy worked for Martin Lawrence, Steve Harvey, Kevin Hart, and countless other comics. Why not Earthquake? Was he too niche? Too “Souf-eas”? Whatever the reason, he doesn’t dwell on it. His mother’s philosophy that “you can’t get mad at anybody for not doing something that you can’t do for yourself” won’t allow him to look at his path with any regrets.

Now, 30 years later, the kid from Condon Ter race who cou ldn’t brea k i nto t he

mainstream has cemented himself among the stars, and he’s just getting started. These days, he has recurring roles as barbershop owner Que on CBS’ The Neighborhood, Booker on the Bounce TV show Johnson, and Mr. Leroy on the HBO Max series Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty.

His publicist, Ava Medina, confirms that due to the success of Legendary, Quake will go on a 20-city comedy tour starting this summer in Chicago with fellow D.C. comedian Donnell Rawlings. He’ll return to the DMV on Sept. 10 when his tour stops in Columbia.

“Oh, I’m hot over here!” he quips. “I’m fishgrease hot over here. People sliding in my DMs talkin’ ’bout, ‘Hey big head.’ I’m cute!

I’m handsome!”

On top of acting and touring, the “comedian’s comedian,” as he’s called by his peers, also hosts “Quake’s House,” a comedy show on Hart’s Sirius XM station Laugh Out Loud Radio. Every week, Quake discusses hot topics of the day with other comedians, such as Cedric the Entertainer and Mike Epps.

Yet, no matter how high Quake’s profile climbs, making his hometown fans erupt with seismic laughter will always be a priority. “If you can make them laugh, you can make anybody in the country laugh.”

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ARTS MUSIC

Inner Ear Comes Home.

Literally.

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Don Zientara hopes to have the studio fully set up in its original location by May, but he’s already back to recording.

By Christina Smart Contributing Writer When Inner Ear Studios in Arlington closed last October after more than 30 years at their South Oakland Street location, owner Don Zientara weighed his options, looking to potentially rent another commercial space. “I looked at a few avenues,” says Zientara. “The cost was prohibitive. I just didn’t want to really go in that deep. … The rents are not going down.”

Instead of going into debt with a new location, Zientara decided to bring the studio home, literally, returning to its original space in the basement in his Arlington home. Here, the reputation of Inner Ear began and grew in the late ’70s and ’80s as Zientara captured iconic recordings from the growing D.C. punk scene including releases from Bad Brains, The Slickee Boys, and Teen Idles. The success of that studio led Zientara to look for a larger location, finding a home on South Oakland Street for the past 32 years. He would have stayed, but the Arlington County Board purchased the land that the building sits on, forcing Zientara to relocate. To date, the building sits empty with no set plans from the county as to its development, it seems. The County plans to demolish it this coming winter, and tells City Paper they’ll initiate “a community engagement process this spring on the development of a temporary outdoor arts activation plan for the site.”

Having spent the past several months clearing out the South Oakland Street location of recording instruments, musical gear, and other paraphernalia, Zientara donated items to various organizations throughout the country, and Mount Pleasant’s Lost Origins Gallery plans to exhibit the artwork that hung on the studio walls: “As much as he can fit in the gallery,” says Zientara. Slowly getting the essential recording equipment returned to his basement, Zientara is easing his way back into the recording process. The room where artists will record, which is about the size of the control room in the last location, is not yet completely operational.

“I’m not fully set up, but I’m functioning as if I was,” says Zientara, laughing. “I’m doing projects as we speak. I’ve been doing a lot of mixing projects. I just did some recording Tuesday (March 15). Yesterday (March 16), I did some more mixing and tomorrow (March 18) we’ll do some more mixing.”

One of the projects that’s still in the works from the previous location, and helping break in the new setup, is the recording of seminal D.C. punk band Scream’s next album. D.C. Special

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“Pete [Stahl] has done vocals here and Franz [Stahl] has done some guitar work here,” says Zientara. The album is being produced by Ian MacKaye (of Teen Idles, Minor Threat, and Fugazi), and Zientara hints that a release date isn’t that far off, telling City Paper, “It will be done very, very soon.”

In the meantime, Zientara hopes to have the basement studio fully functional and ready for recording bands in May, knowing that musicians are already anxiously awaiting its revival.

“I have heard from past customers and they want to record,” explains Zientara. “We’re going to go into full bands very slowly because there’s not much space in there. But eventually we’ll go into that phase, but it just won’t be as hectic as it was at the studio.”

During all the upheaval, one thing that hasn’t been updated yet is Inner Ear’s website, which Zientara hopes doesn’t cause confusion for any potential clients.

“Phone numbers have not changed,” says Zientara. “Emails have not changed. The website needs to be updated. The website is still the old website, which has, of course, the wrong address and the wrong photos and the wrong everything—but not the contacts.”

While the return to a normal recording process may take some time, Zientara emphasizes patience.

“It’s gonna be very gradual,” says Zientara.

“Not bands every night. Maybe not even bands every week. Just very slow getting into it. There’s still a lot to do in the other room.”

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ARTS MUSIC

A More Perfect Union Kelyn Soong

A music fan, a live band, and the undeniable joy that happens when those two things come (back) together.

Cannons at Union Stage

By Kelyn Soong @KelynSoong When the world shut down during the early stages of the pandemic in March 2020, Michelle Joy decided to go for a run. She headed down to Venice Beach, near where she lives in California, and observed the people she passed. Venice Beach and its boardwalk are

popular tourist attractions and are typically home to boisterous crowds, street performers, and an eclectic mix of visitors. But on this particular day, Joy couldn’t help but notice the solemn look on the faces around her.

“Everyone looked super depressed,” she says. “Just really down and, like, a different energy.”

Joy, the lead vocalist for the alternative/

16 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

electropop band Cannons, started to write lyrics in her head. Her bandmates, guitarist Ryan Clapham and keyboardist-bassist Paul Davis, had just sent her music they had worked on that would become the first single off their recently released third studio album, Fever Dream. The song would be titled “Bad Dreams.”

“I just felt like writing something that was kind of like, this is how it is, this kind of sucks

right now,” Joy explains. “And I feel like a lot of people related to that.”

The chorus goes: “I’ve been living in a bad dream/ I’ve been living in a bad, bad dream/ Sleepwalking through a sad scene/ I’ve been living in a bad, bad dream.”

Wind gusting up to 20 mph howls outside of the band’s tour bus stationed just a block away

ARTS MUSIC from Union Stage, where Cannons are set to perform a sold-out show on this late Saturday evening. It’s March 26, the day after the Los Angeles band officially released Fever Dream.

I’m here, sitting next to Davis and across from Joy, Clapham, and drummer Ben Hilzinger, inside their tour bus to get a deeper, more intimate understanding of the collective loss that was experienced when live music shows were getting canceled. Live music is one of my happy places, a fun escape from the stress of daily life. Cannons, perhaps more so than most bands, truly understand what was lost without being able perform at more personal, indoor venues like Union Stage.

One of the band’s songs, “Fire for You,” off their 2019 album, Shadows, was featured in a 2020 episode of the Netflix dramedy Never Have I Ever, which skyrocketed the single to No. 1 in the U.S. alternative charts right at the height of the pandemic. The band had a hit— their first. Their lives and trajectory changed course. But they couldn’t perform it live in front of their rapidly growing fan base.

“It was like a—I don’t want to say bittersweet feeling because we’re so grateful to even have a No. 1, but, like, we did want to be playing it and everything,” Joy says. “But at the same time, we do all have this feeling like everything happens for a reason in the Cannons’ universe. So, we’re out here now.”

Talking to the members of Cannons, it almost feels as if they don’t yet truly believe their own reality. Cannons went from playing in front of perhaps hundreds of people at small clubs in California not too long ago to performing on the main stage at Lollapalooza in Chicago last year in front of thousands of fans.

“I had nightmares that I was like stuck to the stage, and I couldn’t get up and perform because I was nervous,” Joy says. “But once we got on that stage, all of my nerves went away.”

The Fever Dream Tour is the band’s first headline tour. Cannons signed with Columbia Records, wrote and produced Fever Dream, and shot the music video for “Fire for You” all during the pandemic. The band experimented with different ways to connect with fans without live, in-person concerts. They put on Zoom performances and even livestreamed a show on Reddit. “We did not enjoy trying to livestream performances, because there are delays,” Joy says. They started using TikTok and social media more and pushed out content on YouTube. Joy, Clapham, and Davis would write individually from their homes and send material back and forth to each other.

But nothing compares to performing in front of a live audience.

“Music connects people,” Clapham says. “I went to a Tom Petty concert … years back and it was like nothing else mattered but like the

concert and everybody was speaking like Tom Petty language, you know what I mean? They were all singing his songs. It’s just a beautiful thing when you experience something with a bunch of people.”

For Joy, seeing fans sing the lyrics back to her makes the experience more real. Fans have come up to the band after shows to express how Cannons’ music has saved their lives. “It is surreal and cool and beautiful,” Joy says.

Davis, sensing an opportunity, chimes in: “It’s a fever dream.”

At 11:32 p.m., Joy walks through the curtains onto the stage, clapping her hands above her head to the beat of the song in front of an adoring crowd at Union Stage. The show is sold out at the 450-capacity venue. Fans nod their heads and sing along to “Shadows,” the title song from the band’s sophomore studio album, which goes: “I’m lost in the dark/ Searching for a spark with you/ Keep holding on/ Let me move through you.”

Joy and Clapham dance around the stage as their sequined outfits sparkle under the red and blue lights. A group of women take selfies while trying to avoid spilling their drinks. At the opposite end of the room, near the exit, Joy’s younger sister, Mariah Lewis, is interacting with fans at the merch table.

The song continues: “Where have you gone?

Waited so long/ How can I just carry on?/ Where have you gone? Waited so long/ How can I just carry on?”

Union Stage reopened in mid-June of 2021, but it wasn’t until February of this year that the venue’s organizers returned to a pre-pandemic routine of hosting five to six shows a week while nearly fully staffed. The venue checks for proof of vaccination at the door, but as of late March, no longer requires attendees to wear masks. The D.C. government rolled back its mask mandate on March 1, including for sports and entertainment venues.

As with many things during the pandemic, the return to normalcy may be fleeting. But on this late Saturday evening, the crowd is reminded of the magic of intimate, small-venue concerts. It’s an escape. It’s therapeutic. It’s, like Union Stage director of operations Lana Mahmoud tells me, a “harmony with other people.” Few experiences can replicate that.

By the time I get home, my ears are still ringing from the pulsating speakers. I open my iTunes app. The first verse of “Bad Dreams” starts to play. Joy purposely juxtaposed the melancholy lyrics with a soothing, upbeat melody.

In times of sorrow and separation, she wanted to make music that made people feel better and less alone. I put the song on repeat.

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Unlike The Contractor, the other Chris Pine espionage thriller released this month, All the Old Knives does not rely on action and chases for its suspense. In adapting his own novel, screenwriter Olen Steinhauer takes inspiration from John le Carré, not Ian Fleming or Tom Clancy. This kind of spycraft involves the careful development of intelligence through embedded sources, a relationship that is tense because nurtured trust can always be betrayed. Steinhauer and director Janus Metz include an impressive number of twists, a difficult feat since the film has few characters and amounts to little more than a tense dinner conversation punctuated by flashbacks. Sadly, each new wrinkle cannot add to a cohesive whole because the film’s emotional undercurrent—a bittersweet love story—does not have the same attention to detail.

The romance involves Henry Pelham (Pine) and Celia Harrison (Thandiwe Newton), former colleagues and lovers who worked together for the CIA in Vienna. In the present, Celia has left the agency and started a family in California; Henry meets her at a restaurant near her home. At first, they reminisce about old times, then Henry reveals the true reason behind the visit: He’s recently discovered that someone from their team gave inside information to terrorists during a deadly plane hijacking that cost the lives of everyone on board. The details of the hijacking are almost incidental to Henry’s investigation—he wants to know who knew what detail and when.

Henry, cleared of wrongdoing by his boss, Vick (Laurence Fishburne), marks Celia as his primary suspect. Though it’s been years since they last spoke, their feelings for each other complicate their uneasy reunion.

In between constant flashbacks and multiple versions of the same events, All the Old Knives can be difficult to follow. Steinhauer and Metz use overlaying voice-over to guide us through the dense plot, as well as simple visual cues (during his time in Vienna, for example, Pine sports a questionable haircut). He and Newton lack the chemistry their roles require, to the point that a sex scene between them unfolds with a bizarre absence of passion. The scenes at the restaurant do not fare much better. Henry

and Celia should be sizing each other up, provoking and prodding to better understand who is lying, but the duo’s delivery remains curiously flat. Their exchanges are tepid, not icy, as if Metz overcorrected in his effort to obscure the secrets they are hiding.

The more compelling moments involve the particulars of their jobs in Vienna, and not just because these scenes keep Pine apart from Newton. What does it take to “turn” a source?

Once that relationship is built, how is it maintained? As the hijacking unfolds in real time, Henry turns to his contacts in Vienna for any information or details they might have. Back at the office, Celia, Vick, and others argue about how to handle their man on board the plane—a fellow CIA officer who ends up a hostage through sheer coincidence. There are only bad options, and the film’s best scenes involve the characters gaming out how to minimize casualties.

It is impossible to know whether this depiction of espionage is accurate—at least, it’s impossible for civilians like us—but Steinhauer includes enough plausibility and jargon to give the suggestion of credibility. Fancy cars and gadgets are nowhere to be found, just dogged professionals who do the best with what limited information they are given. Metz ramps up this tension by tightening in on the faces of his actors. There are many, many close-ups in All the Old Knives, particularly during the final conversations between Henry and Celia, a technique that ultimately diminishes the suspense the filmmakers hope to achieve.

The subtext between Henry and Celia’s reunion is that, no matter how the conversation ends, only one of them is leaving the restaurant alive. A better film would rely on insinuation and double meaning to get that point across, and instead Metz includes bizarre asides where we see the deadly preparations for the tête-àtête between the two leads. All the Old Knives has an unambiguous ending, one that attempts irony to suggest that victories in the clandestine services rarely feel that way to the participants. It is an easy idea to understand because the intricate, dense story has a tidy resolution.

Many spy thrillers can do that, while only the good ones conjure accompanying feelings, ensuring that each betrayal hurts the audience and viewer. In this case, you might say these old knives are too dull.

—Alan Zilberman All the Old Knives opens in theaters and on Amazon Prime on April 8.

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CITY LIGHTS April 9

April 9

Middle age sounds good on Conor Oberst. Unburdened by blinding expectations and weighty comparisons to the singer-songwriters of yesteryear, Oberst is enjoying a steady second wind. It must be liberating to no longer be tasked with saving his generation. After pausing Bright Eyes in the early 2010s to focus on other projects, he released Payola in 2015, the second album from his politically minded punk band Desaparecidos. Payola updated the band’s George W. Bush McMansion blues of 2002’s Read Music/Speak Spanish, maintaining its barbed spirit with a world-weary wisdom. In 2019, he teamed up with Phoebe Bridgers to become superduo Better Oblivion Community Center—the former boy wonder now playing the role of veteran collaborator to an extraordinary new talent. And in 2020, he circled back to Bright Eyes for Down in the Weeds, Where the World Once Was, a comeback record containing all of the warmth and intimacy of his earlier work but without the melodrama often associated with it. Fill in your own mid-career Dylan comeback album comparison, if you must. Following his upcoming visit to the Anthem, Oberst will play the meme-inducing Las Vegas festival, When We Were Young, which culls any vaguely “emo” band that was successful (Dashboard Confessional, Paramore, All-American Rejects) and/or sounds like they might have been successful (Car Seat Headrest) in the early aughts. I was genuinely surprised to see Bright Eyes on the bill, not only for their stylistic differences, but because while Oberst might be best known for representing youthful angst, he’s not one to linger on the past. He’s still saying plenty worth listening to and will likely continue to do so, even When We Are Old(er). Bright Eyes perform at 8 p.m. on April 9 at the Anthem, 901 Wharf St. SW. theanthemdc.com. $46–$76.

—Matthew Siblo

Courtesy of MadeInTheDMV

Made Conference Photo by Shawn Brackbill

Bright Eyes

What does the future of local arts, music, and technology hold? Find out at this year’s Made Conference, a District-centered networking event where art meets business, and where seasoned professionals share their industry chops with upand-comers. Presented by local talent think tank MadeInTheDMV, the conference brings together industry experts in art, music, technology, and culture, and invites them to give back to their communities by lending career advice and life lessons to emerging entrepreneurs and artists. Attendees are encouraged to exchange views, engage in active dialogue, and make lasting connections. Angela Byrd, creator of MadeInTheDMV, has assembled a talented and diverse roster of creatives and comArt by Cory Wiley munity leaders to participate in the conference.

Notable panelists include DJs and media personalities such as Little Bacon Bear, DJ Quicksilva, DJ Blustar, DJ Marauder, and P Stew; successful businesses the Museum, &Pizza, Songbyrd, and Fat Munchiez; leading news outlets and journalists including DC REALTIME NEWS, HOODZ ND NEWZ, The DMV Daily, and Anthony Tilghman; and popular musicians Killa Cal, Big Flock, Noochie, and Carolyn Malachi. Also scheduled to appear is filmmaker and videographer Alexa Acosta, the owner of Prestige Film Works and one of the top hip-hop directors in the music industry. The keynote speaker for the conference is Tuma Basa, who oversees Black music and culture at YouTube. Basa has experience working at Spotify, BET, MTV, and Revolt. The conference takes place at the DC Dream Center, a social services organization home to community-based programs, after-school activities, tutoring, and mentoring. Made Conference takes place from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. on April 9 at DC Dream Center, 2826 Q St. SE. madeinthedmv.com. Free with registration.

—Sidney Thomas

Through May 7

ruined on a riverbank Joey Enriquez is a runner. It’s something they structure their days around, oftentimes taking to the trails along the Potomac River. But their jogs have yielded more than just a good workout.

While spending time along the river, Enriquez became interested in the geological landscape, frequently finding random bricks scattered along the riverbank. It was this that inspired their latest exhibit, ruined on a riverbank, presented as part of Enriquez’s fellowship with Hamiltonian Artists. The exhibit consists of three sculptures made from bricks and other materials they have collected, paintings made from matter sourced from the earth, plaster brick casts, and annotated

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April 20

Juana Molina Buenos Aires singer-songwriter Juana Molina has turned heads since the mid-’90s for mixing her breathy Spanish vocals and strummed guitar with looped sounds and effects generated by pedals and synthesizers. Since 2009, she’s usually employed bandmates to help create her ethereal soundscape of folk electronica. But during the pandemic, Molina was forced to return to making music alone, and vowed to create a live show with the same sort of improvisation that she engages in when she plays at home. Molina tells City Paper that previously, with her band, “the arrangements were fixed, and every night we played the same.” On this tour, Molina will “start a song as usual, and then [I] don’t know exactly how it’ll finish.” Molina is no stranger to taking chances. She first rose to fame as a popular comedy actress with her own TV show in Argentina in the ’90s, but after taking maternity leave, decided that the guitar playing she first started at age 5 interested her more. Beginning with her recently reissued second album, aptly titled Segundo, Molina has added chirping birds, chiming bells, fireworks, unusual guitar tunings, and warped wordless vocals to her recordings. In 2019, she released Forfun, an uptempo EP featuring punk renditions of her compositions. The record was inspired by the time her band had to play a festival without some of their instruments, which had been misplaced by an airline. Forfun was followed by ANRMAL, a 2020 live album that included raw versions of both her avant-indie folk and punk songs. Though she won’t be offering new songs on this tour, Molina promises renditions of her previously released songs will be “so different from the recordings that they could be considered as new.” Juana Molina performs at 8 p.m. on April 20 at Union Stage, 740 Water St. SW. unionstage.com. $20. Proof of vax required.

—Steve Kiviat

Photo by Doug Van Sant

2021 National Cannabis Festival Khalifa, Ghostface Killah, D.C.’s own go-go superstars the Backyard Band, Lettuce, DuPont Brass, Shamans of Sound, Golden Browne, Cramer, and DJ Farrah Flosscett. Headliner Wiz Khalifa is the perfect choice—in addition to being a prolific rapper, he oversees Khalifa Kush, which produces high-quality weed products. On Sunday, festivities move to Echostage for the National Cannabis Championship, an award ceremony that recognizes the best home growers in the mid-Atlantic. The event is sponsored by local connoisseur Joe Tierney, and will feature performances by hip-hop legend Slick Rick and DJ Footwerk. Tierney will also serve as a judge for the highly competitive contest.

“I have spent the last six years proselytizing the criteria that will guide consumers to exceptional cannabis through my blog,” he tells City Paper. “Being a judge at NCC represents a culmination of my life’s work and I am honored for the opportunity. Bring on the competition.” The National Cannabis Festival runs from April 22 to April 24. Gates open at noon on April 23 at RFK Stadium, 2400 E. Capitol St. SE. nationalcannabisfestival.com. $75. National Cannabis Policy Summit is free with registration; National Cannabis Championship costs $55.

—Sidney Thomas

Through May 13

Exploring Hiroshige and His Influence on Social Media Courtesy of Embassy of Japan

“and i stopped on the trail twice (replicated only twice)” by Joey Enriquez

Courtesy of Hamiltonian Artists

reproductions of archival technical drawings of D.C. neighborhoods. These pieces come together to paint a picture of contemporary issues in the District, such as gentrification, city identity, statehood, and architectural history. There is also a more hidden and nuanced theme: labor. “It’s easy to ignore the fact that I’m out here injuring myself carrying these bricks, or that people in the recent past—incarcerated people, enslaved people—have had to manufacture these objects,” Enriquez says. “There are deeper themes of labor that are separate from the general human history of the city itself.” As for what’s exactly being ruined on the riverbank? According to Enriquez, there are many different objects of ruin. There’s the physical ruin, as the labor involved in the construction of the exhibit was exhausting. There’s the geological ruin of the bricks. And there’s the ruin of livelihood, says Enriquez. “The title is referential to critical, divisive, issues happening in the city that are literally ruining people’s lives, livelihoods, business; ruining histories; ruining the fact that certain populations have existed in certain areas for centuries or decades.” ruined on a riverbank is on display through May 7 at Hamiltonian Artists, 1353 U St. NW. Free.

—Hannah Docter-Loeb

April 22–24

National Cannabis Festival Four twenty … two, three, and four, blaze it? Close enough. On these days this April, weed aficionados will flock to D.C. for the sixth annual National Cannabis Festival. This year’s fest is bigger than ever; attractions include a new culinary pavilion and an expanded calendar featuring three days of events. The National Cannabis Policy Summit takes place on Friday, April 22, at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. Lawmakers and advocates will convene to discuss important cannabis policy issues, addressing financial, environmental, and legal concerns within the industry. The conversation is especially pertinent to the District right now, as the Council mulls over banning the marijuana gift economy in favor of licensed medical businesses. The big show is slated for Saturday—an all-day affair at RFK Stadium that celebrates progress on cannabis legalization while also calling for an end to its criminalization and the war on drugs. Caroline Phillips is the founder and executive producer of NCF, which is now the largest single-day ticketed cannabis gathering in the U.S. “I’m excited about all of the new experiences we are bringing to the community this year,” says Phillips. “I can’t wait for folks to experience all of the programs in our education pavilions, the arts and crafts in the exhibitor fair, and all of the entertainment on the main stage.”

Even non-smokers will enjoy the lineup of great musicians, with scheduled performances by Wiz

When you think of a social media influencer, your first thought is probably not of a centuries-old artist specializing in ukiyo-e, or the Japanese art of woodblock printing and painting. Exploring Hiroshige and His Influence on Social Media at the Japanese Information and Culture Center suggests that Utagawa Hiroshige, one of the last masters of this technique, might have rubbed off on today’s Instagrammers. Dozens of his stunning works of landscapes and city scenes are featured here, and all reward close inspection. Shops and houses throw their doors open to reveal the people sleeping or eating within, farmers and animals work in fields, and oceans or sunsets glimmer in the background. Mount Fuji frequently looms in the frame, either imposingly breaking out of the picture’s frame or off in the distance, and the plethora of delicate, twisty, or flowering trees makes clear why this exhibit is part of the National Cherry Blossom Festival. Nearby placards highlight aesthetic principles that Hiroshige employed, like diagonal lines that cut across the frame or linear perspective, as well as social media photography that uses these same techniques. These signs act as an instructional guide to photography, and are also an insightful way to understand and appreciate the composition of artworks in general. The photos were gathered from an open call for submissions. The democracy of submissions, coupled with the educational aspect of the exhibit, drives home the idea that anyone can become a better photographer and learn to envision things

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 8, 2022 21

differently. Should you venture to check out the blossoms this season, you might just spruce up your #cherryblossoms shots and capture a bit of Hiroshige’s energy. Through May 13 at Japanese Information and Culture Center, 1150 18th St. NW, Suite 100. us.emb-japan.go.jp. Free.

—Stephanie Rudig

Through May 22

Courtesy of American University

Paper Light

“Untitled” by Claudia Smigrod Local artist Claudia Smigrod specializes in camera-less photography, documenting a wide range of found objects using various mixes of chemicals and lighting on photosensitive paper.

Her works, which often suggest X-rays, are relentlessly inquisitive. In some, Smigrod captures the refracted light of translucent vases, or the eerie, diaphanous shadows of children’s clothing. In others, Smigrod cleverly superimposes the front and back of a single printed page from a book or magazine, delighting in happenstance pairings of text and image. In two series, Smigrod channels Barbara Kruger by layering boldly lettered catchphrases over reversed images of either household objects or reproductions of Italian Renaissance paintings. However, Smigrod’s simplest portrayals are her finest. One series toys with sparkling, circular shapes that suggest galaxies or jewels; another turns humble, botanical specimens into dramatic works limned in black and rust. Another photographic exhibit on view at the American University Museum—featuring work by fellow D.C. artist Chan Chao—is more enigmatic, using Chao’s signature fashion-influenced portraits to assert equivalencies between peacekeeping troops in Cyprus, and people incarcerated for cocaine trafficking in Peru. While at the museum, don’t miss two works in other exhibits now on view: Jae Ko’s towering, wavelike, rolled-paper wall installation in Fields and Formations: A Survey of Mid-Atlantic Abstraction, and Christiane Baumgartner’s series of five large woodcuts based on old television stills, in Positive Fragmentation: From the Collections of Jordan D. Schnitzer and His Family Foundation.

Paper Lights is on display through May 22 at the Katzen Arts Center at American University, 4400 Massachusetts Ave. NW. american.edu. Free. Proof of vax required.

—Louis Jacobson

DIVERSIONS SAVAGE LOVE I am a 29-year-old woman, and I have a problem when I have sex or masturbate. I always feel an annoying pain, a stinging sensation in my vulva, at the entrance of the vagina, that does not allow me to enjoy it, as the pain is too overwhelming.

Unfortunately, this situation has led me to avoid having sex or masturbating in order not to feel that pain. I have consulted several gynecologists, but no anomaly or infection of any kind has been found.

With the last doctor, we also talked about a possible psychological component, but apparently, even on this level, everything seems normal. Do you or an expert have advice for someone with a problem like mine?

—Lost And Baffled Inside America “Vulvodynia, or pain in the vulva, is unfortunately very common, and it sucks,” says Dr. Rachel Gelman, a clinician, pelvic floor specialist, and author based in San Francisco. “But there are a variety of treatment options and providers that could help LABIA out.”

Dr. Gelman says it’s good that you’ve already had infection ruled out as a possible cause. But there are lots of other things that could be going on—nerve irritation, inflammation, hormonal imbalance, something genetic—and she urges you not to give up until you find an answer.

And while Dr. Gelman is too polite to say it, I’m an asshole, so I’m just going to blurt it out: It’s shocking that not one of the gynecologists you consulted referred you to a pelvic floor specialist.

“The muscles inside the pelvis, aka the ‘pelvic floor,’ and the surrounding musculature can contribute to or cause the pain LABIA is describing,” says Dr. Gelman. “Just like tight muscles in the neck can cause pain in the shoulder, arm, or jaw, a tight muscle inside the pelvic floor can cause pain at the opening of the vagina. A pelvic floor physical therapist like myself would be able to assess and treat this kind of muscle dysfunction, which would decrease LABIA’s symptoms and get her back to enjoying sex.”

But don’t stop at just getting a referral to a pelvic floor specialist. “Due to the fact that so many systems live inside the pelvis which impact the vulva, several specialists may be needed to investigate and treat the potential causes of LABIA’s pain,” says Dr. Gelman. So, in addition to seeing a pelvic floor specialist, Dr. Gelman recommends you consult with a vulvar specialist. (You can find a list of vulvar specialists at the website of the National Vulvodynia Association: Go to nva.org and click on the link to their “health care provider list.”)

“A vulvar specialist would be able to perform appropriate tests to tease out what is going on beyond what a general gynecologist may look at,” says Dr. Gelman. “And it’s important to note that the tissue around the vaginal opening is highly dependent on hormones to stay happy and healthy. Certain medications or medical conditions can impact hormone levels, which

22 APRIL 8, 2022 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM

can in turn impact vulvar tissues and lead to pain. There are also underlying inflammatory conditions that could also be causing this pain.”

And even if you don’t have an underlying mental health or psychological condition, LABIA, the pain you’ve suffered—along with the resulting sexual deprivation—sounds like a lot, and talking about it with someone could help you reconnect more quickly with your ability to take pleasure in this part of your body again.

“The brain is powerful and having vulvar pain or any kind of sexual dysfunction can be mentally draining, which can further exacerbate pain,” says Dr. Gelman. “So a good sex therapist may also be a helpful ally here.

Bottom line, vulvar pain is common and typically requires a team of providers—but help is out there.”

Find Dr. Rachel Gelman online at pelvicwellpt.com and on Instagram @PelvicHealthSF. —Dan Savage

meet at 7 p.m. At 6:40 p.m., I got a text from her number: “This is Boston EMS. Gertrude wanted us to let you know she won’t make it to the date.” I responded promptly, asking the paramedic what happened and if Gertrude (not her real name) was alright, and the paramedic replied that she was fine and actually more worried about me than herself. In the evening I get a text from Gertrude saying, “OMG! I’m so embarrassed! I’m so sorry!”

She explained she had had a seizure. I texted her the following day to ask how she’s feeling, but received no answer.

Here is my conundrum. I have no way of knowing for sure if both situations were out of her control (her bad day, her seizure) and she’s too embarrassed to answer my texts right now or if she stood me up twice in really shitty ways and used a health crisis as an excuse the second time. I would love to hear your feedback. I have enclosed screenshots of our text messages for your review.

—Blatant Lies Or Constant Kerfuffles Hmm. The text messages Gertrude sent you were far less interesting—and far less revealing—than the tiny photo of Gertrude at the top of them. The woman in the photo is conventionally attractive (extremely so: thin, toothy, blond, skinny), and she looks more like a teenage girl than a woman in her 30s. (Indeed, a Google image search on the picture didn’t find a match, but all the “very similar images” that came up were of teenage girls.) So I’m going to climb out on a very short and very sturdy limb here, BLOCK, and tell you that the person in the photo isn’t the person you’ve been messaging with. That’s why Gertrude keeps making excuses to call off your dates—increasingly ludicrous excuses.

I mean, take this paramedic nonsense.

Dude. If Gertrude was able to hand her phone to a paramedic and ask that paramedic to find one particular guy in her contacts and then send that one particular guy a message canceling a date … then Gertrude was well enough to send you that message herself. And even if sending text messages and canceling dates were services paramedics provided—and they’re not—asking a paramedic to let a date know you’re having a seizure isn’t something a person having a seizure can do because that person is having a seizure.

So, yeah. The problem here is not that Gertrude is too embarrassed to respond to your text messages about finally getting together for that drink, BLOCK, it’s that Gertrude is too nonexistent to ever show up for that drink. You most likely won’t hear from her again, but if you do, it’ll be a request for money. I shouldn’t have to say, “Don’t send her money,” but I’m going to say it just in case you’re really as gullible as your letter makes you seem: Don’t send her money.

—DS

The problem here is not that Gertrude is too embarrassed to respond to your text messages about finally getting together for that drink, it’s that Gertrude is too nonexistent to ever show up for that drink.

I’m a young gay man who needs to break up with his boyfriend. I know it, my friends all agree, I even think it’s what he wants. I’ll spare you the messy details. I just need a push. Maybe if you tell me to do it, Dan, I’ll do it. —Just Another Word Marry him.

—DS

I’m a man in his 30s in Boston. I just got ghosted and want some advice on how to handle it. I matched with a woman online, also in her 30s, and the conversation seemed good, and we agreed to meet for a drink. On the day of our planned date, I get a text saying, “Hey, I’m having a really bad day and I don’t want that to be your first impression of me. Can we reschedule?” That seemed reasonable, so I agreed. Later in the week I asked what she was up to on the weekend. I didn’t get a response until late Sunday: “I thought I replied. I’m so sorry!”

I took her at her word that it was a mistake, and we rescheduled drinks. The afternoon before our rescheduled date for drinks, I texted to confirm where and when we were meeting. We agreed to

Email your Savage Love questions to questions@savagelove.net.

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DIRECTV SATELLITE TV SERVICE Starting at $59.99/month! Free Installation! 160+ channels available. Call Now to Get the Most Sports & Entertainment on TV! 877-310-2472

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Buy Sell Trade TOP CA$H PAID FOR OLD GUITARS! 1920-1980 Gibson, Martin, Fender, Gretsch, Epiphone, Guild, Mosrite, Rickenbacker, Prairie State, D'Angelico, Stromberg. And Gibson Mandolins / Banjos. 877589-0747

Saturday, April 9 from 8am - 1pm at St. Patrick’s Episcopal Church in the Gymnasium at 4701 Whitehaven Parkway NW Washington DC 20007.

Clothing for all ages and sizes, jewelry, housewares, books, toys, games, and sports equipment.

New this year, we accept credit cards. Check stpatrickschurchdc.org for last minute details.

ALWAYS LOOKING TO BUY RECORD COLLECTIONS, cash in hand. Interested in any kind of music, condition does not always matter, all formats considered.

We buy record record albums, LPs, sets, 45s, 7", 78s, DJ 12", anything ! Will travel. All styles of music are welcomed, rock, hip hop, reggae, soul, r&b, heavy metal, alternative, house, punk rock, hardcore, industrial, jazz, indie rock, classic, rock, etc.

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Community FOREIGN POLICY Retired CRS analyst looking to discuss foreign policy - especially the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

Currently reading Russia and the West under Lenin and Stalin by George F. Kennan. No progressives.

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HUGE CHURCH RUMMAGE SALE

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 8, 2022 23

Introducing Astound Broadband powered by RCN FREE Month & Install

300 Mbps

24

$

99 /mo/1 year plus equip.

Downloads up to 300 Mbps Uploads up to 20 Mbps

We’ve been a part of the community for years—with award-winning Internet service and 24/7 local customer support. We put our customers first in everything we do. Our goal is to astound you every day… that’s why RCN is now Astound Broadband powered by RCN.

Switch today.

1.800.4.ASTOUND | astound.com No Contracts | No Early Termination Fees | Next Day Installation *Internet download speeds may vary and are not guaranteed. Observed speeds may vary based on device connection & other factors outside of Astound Broadband’s control. Gig Internet offers speeds up to 940 Mbps and certain equipment may be required. All advertised speeds are up to the stated speeds and are not guaranteed; speed may vary due to conditions outside of network control, including customer location, sites accessed, number of devices connected, customer usage, customer equipment and computer configuration, the level of overall traffic, and customer compliance with Astound Broadband’s usage policies set forth in the acceptable usage policy. See https://astound.com/learn/internet/optimize-wifi-speed for why speeds may vary.

Astound Broadband’s FCC Network Management Disclosure makes available information regarding our network management practices and the performance and commercial terms of our Internet access services to enable you to make informed choices regarding the purchase and use of our services, in accordance with Part 8 of the Rules of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). Modem required for internet service. Advertised internet promotional prices are valid for 12 months from installation date. 300 Mbps Internet offer includes up to 300 Mbps Internet service at $24.99 per month for 12 months. Offer expires April 30, 2022. Regular rates apply after promotional period ends. Monthly modem rental fee and/or wireless gateway may be additional.

Unless otherwise specified, promotional offer extends defined, set pricing for the period of 12 months after installation; distinct pricing exists for months 1-12. Free month(s) applies to base Internet service and equipment only and will be applied as credit to first or second month of Astound Broadband services. Non-standard installation may require additional outlet and special wiring fees. Any additional services, such as equipment, premium channels and other tiers of service are subject to an additional charge and regular increases. Price does not include Network Access and Maintenance Fee/Internet Infrastructure Fee of $6.97/month, which is subject to change. Network Access and Maintenance Fee/Internet Infrastructure Fee helps defray costs associated with building and maintaining our fiber rich broadband network, as well as the costs of expanding network capacity to support the continued increase in customers’ average broadband consumption. This fee is neither government-mandated nor a tax, fee or surcharge imposed by the government; it is a fee that Astound Broadband assesses and retains. Additional fees apply for taxes, surcharges, equipment, activation and installation that are not included as part of the package and are subject to change. No contract is required to take advantage of the promotional pricing and savings. No early termination fees apply in the event service is terminated in advance of the promotional end date. Customer is responsible for any accrued service charges in the event service is canceled. Subject to credit check. Any additional services, such as equipment, add-on channels and other tiers of service are subject to an additional charge and regular increases. Other restrictions may apply. A One-Time Activation fee of $9.99 in addition to your installation charges will be applied. The activation fee offsets a portion of our cost of setting up your account, allocating and restocking equipment to our inventory, activating your devices (boxes/modems) on the network, and connecting your home to Astound Broadband services. Not all services and speeds are available in all areas. Next day installation is not guaranteed. Availability varies by market and is limited to availability of appointments during normal business hours Monday-Saturday. Other restrictions may apply. All names, logos, images and service marks are property of their respective owners. Visit https://astound.com/policies-disclaimers/ for additional terms and conditions. ©2022 Starpower Communications, LLC. All rights reserved.

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