CITYPAPER WashiNgtoN
food: how to complain like a pro 19
sports: the worst week ever 14
Free Volume 35, No. 40 WashiNgtoNCityPaPer.Com oCtober 2–8, 2015
Don’t You Be MY neighBor
Abortion-Free DC’s strategy to block Planned Parenthood in the city 7 By Sofia Resnick Photographs by Darrow Montgomery
FROM DETROIT TO THE DISTRICT NOW OPEN IN LOGAN CIRCLE
WAS HINGTON DC 1631 14TH N W DE TRO IT • NE W YORK • MINNE A P OLIS • CHICAGO WAS HINGTON DC • LOS A NGELES • LONDON SHINOL A .COM
2 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
INSIDE 7 don’t you be my neighbor Can Planned Parenthood be stopped by nitpicking permits and inciting area NIMBYs?
By sofia resnick PhotograPhs By darrow montgomery
4 Chatter distriCt Line
12 City Desk: Blocks from the White House, pope edition 14 Unobstructed View 15 Gear Prudence 16 Buy D.C. 17 Savage Love
City List
35 City Lights: At the Howard Theatre, Story District tells “true tales of the hilariously tragic.” 35 Music 39 Theater 42 Film
45 CLassiFieds
d.C. Feed
diversions
arts
“
19 Young & Hungry: The right way to complain in restaurants 22 Grazer: D.C.’s oldest eateries 22 Are You Gonna Eat That? China Chilcano’s lengua de pato 22 Brew in Town: The Brewer’s Art Choptank’d Saison
25 Worlds Apart: Two artists plumb the depths of cultural and national histories, but their efforts produce radically different results. 27 Arts Desk: Which Hollywood stars should play D.C.’s councilmembers? 28 Curtain Calls: Hughes on texts&beheadings/ElizabethR and Walker on Destiny of Desire 30 Short Subjects: Olszewski on Prophet’s Prey and Gittel on 99 Homes 32 Sketches: Shook on “How We Lost DC”
46 Dirt Farm 47 Crossword
If you came to my house and I served you chIcken pot pIe, and you don’t lIke chIcken pot pIe, then I’ll make somethIng else for you. —page19
”
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 3
CHATTER Squad Goals
In which readers pass the ball ad nauseam but never really score
Darrow MontGoMery
Plenty of chit-chat went down in response to
Will Sommer’s cover column—a look into Mayor Muriel Bowser’s push for yet another taxpayer-funded sports venue in the District (“Moneyball,” Sept. 25). We’ve got some detractors: S.E. pointed out that our teams are too rotten to build anything for: “How about we wait until a Sports Team wins a CHAMPIONSHIP before rewarding them with a new Arena/Stadium.” Some of our teams can’t figure out how to prevent their players from choking each other out in the dugout, so this is a long row to hoe, S.E. But fair point! Those in favor of the project, like SayWhat, took a “field of dreams” approach: “How about you haters STHU and wait and see how many jobs and economic development it brings to ward 8”. And of course, there are those who think sports investment is a huge waste of money, period. FD wrote, “Bowser please stop the corporate welfare. Bowser has thrown crumbs and rhetoric at job and homeless programs so she can look good but childhood poverty is rampant and truly affordable housing is almost non-existent. Shame on her. Next thing we know Congress Height will have luxury housing and a Whole Foods. That is not real economic development. How much money do we keep giving away to millionaires and billionaires and last Wednesday Kaya Henderson says the schools need to stay open so kids because that is the only meals some kids get?” In response to a different comment lamenting the same spending priorities, empty_pant_suit wondered what the hell feeding the hungry and homeless ever did for anyone lately: “There is a also ‘so much money’ for hunger and homelessness in the district.” Yeah, piled on MacFly1. “Baltimore has LOTS of money for homeless, section 8. Does that help people get jobs? Answer: no.” They don’t call it Charm City for nothing. —Emily Q. Hazzard Department of Corrections: The entry in the 2015 Fall Arts & Entertainment Guide for “Celebrating Photography at the National Gallery of Art: Recent Gifts” incorrectly stated that the National Gallery of Art is part of the Smithsonian Institution. Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarifications, or praise to editor@washingtoncitypaper.com.
1400 BloCk oF i StrEEt nW (rEar), SEpt. 23.
puBliSHEr EMErituS: Amy AustIn intEriM puBliSHEr: ErIc norwood EDitor: stEVE cAVEndIsH Managing EDitorS: EmIly q. HAzzArd, sArAH AnnE HugHEs artS EDitor: mAtt coHEn FooD EDitor: jEssIcA sIdmAn City ligHtS EDitor: cArolInE jonEs StaFF WritErS: AndrEw gIAmbronE, wIll sommEr StaFF pHotograpHEr: dArrow montgomEry onlinE DEvElopEr: zAcH rAusnItz CrEativE DirECtor: jAndos rotHstEIn art DirECtor: lAurEn HEnEgHAn ContriButing WritErS: jEffrEy AndErson, jonEttA rosE bArrAs, ErIcA brucE, sopHIA busHong, KrIston cApps, rIlEy crogHAn, jEffry cudlIn, ErIn dEVInE, sAdIE dIngfEldEr, mAtt dunn, noAH gIttEll, ElEnA gouKAssIAn, trEy grAHAm, lAurA HAyEs, louIs jAcobson, AmrItA KHAlId, stEVE KIVIAt, cHrIs KlImEK, mAEVE mcdErmott, cHrIstInE mAcdonAld, mArcus j. moorE, justIn moyEr, trIcIA olszEwsKI, mIKE pAArlbErg, tIm rEgAn, sofIA rEsnIcK, rEbEccA j. rItzEl, bEtH sHooK, jordAn-mArIE smItH, mAtt tErl, tAmmy tucK, nAtAlIE VIllAcortA, KAArIn VEmbAr, jonEllE wAlKEr, EmIly wAlz, joE wArmInsKy, mIcHAEl j. wEst, brAndon wu intErnS: tAtIAnA cIrIsAno, cunEyt dIl, frEddy rodrIguEz DirECtor oF auDiEnCE DEvElopMEnt: sArA dIcK SalES ManagEr: nIcHolAs dIblAsIo SEnior aCCount ExECutivES: mElAnIE bAbb, joE HIcKlIng, ArlEnE KAmInsKy, AlIcIA mErrItt aCCount ExECutivES: stu KElly, cHAd VAlE SalES opErationS ManagEr: HEAtHEr mcAndrEws SalES anD MarkEting aSSoCiatE: cHloE fEdynA BuSinESS DEvElopMEnt aSSoCiatE: EdgArd IzAguIrrE CrEativE SErviCES ManagEr: brAndon yAtEs grapHiC DESignEr: lIsA dEloAcH opErationS DirECtor: jEff boswEll SEnior SalES opEration anD proDuCtion CoorDinator: jAnE mArtInAcHE SoutHCoMM: CHiEF ExECutivE oFFiCEr: cHrIs fErrEll CHiEF FinanCial oFFiCEr: Ed tEArmAn CHiEF opErating oFFiCEr: blAIr joHnson ExECutivE viCE prESiDEnt: mArK bArtEl loCal aDvErtiSing: (202) 332-2100, Fax: (202) 618-3959, Ads@wAsHIngtoncItypApEr.com vol. 35, no. 40, oCt. 2–oCt. 8, 2015 wAsHIngton cIty pApEr Is publIsHEd EVEry wEEK And Is locAtEd At 1400 EyE st. nw, suItE 900, wAsHIngton, d.c. 20005. cAlEndAr submIssIons ArE wElcomEd; tHEy must bE rEcEIVEd 10 dAys bEforE publIcAtIon. u.s. subscrIptIons ArE AVAIlAblE for $250 pEr yEAr. IssuE wIll ArrIVE sEVErAl dAys AftEr publIcAtIon. bAcK IssuEs of tHE pAst fIVE wEEKs ArE AVAIlAblE At tHE offIcE for $1 ($5 for oldEr IssuEs). bAcK IssuEs ArE AVAIlAblE by mAIl for $5. mAKE cHEcKs pAyAblE to wAsHIngton cIty pApEr or cAll for morE optIons. © 2015 All rIgHts rEsErVEd. no pArt of tHIs publIcAtIon mAy bE rEproducEd wItHout tHE wrIttEn pErmIssIon of tHE EdItor.
4 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 5
© 2015 Goose Island Beer Company,Chicago,IL.Enjoy responsibly. GreatAmerican Beer Festival®Awards (Category:English Style India PaleAle):2012 Gold (India PaleAle),2009 Silver (IPA), 2007 Silver (India PaleAle),2004 Silver (Goose Island India PaleAle),2001 Bronze (India PaleAle),2000 Gold (Goose Island IPA).
6 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
DISTRICTLINE
At what point is it cheaper to buy a vehicle instead of using Zipcar? washingtoncitypaper.com/go/zip
Don’t You Be My Neighbor Abortion-Free DC’s strategy to block Planned Parenthood’s new facility includes nitpicking permits and inciting area NIMBYs. Rev. Patrick Mahoney
Metropolitan Police Department vehicles pull onto 4th Street NE, off of Florida Avenue near Union Market, just as a couple dozen anti-abortion-rights activists begin walking toward the center of the block. “Oh God, protect us now,” says the Rev. Patrick Mahoney, a Presbyterian minister and longtime abortion-rights opponent. He’s organized this protest ahead of Pope Francis’ visit to the District. “We are going in the street.” The way someone might slowly, nervously ease out of her clothes her first time at a nudist beach, the group moves hesitantly at first. Two preteen girls, a middle-aged woman, and an older man shuffle into the middle of the street holding a hot-pink sign emblazoned with fat white letters, reading, “Planned Parenthood sells baby parts.” To the right of this sentence sits an image of a baby that appears to be floating, as in a womb, with its arms and legs curled upward. The baby is illustratively carved with dashed lines marking off limbs and organs. Dollar signs have been drawn within the demarcations. The sign, produced by Created Equal, a national anti-abortion-rights group based in Columbus, Ohio, references a high-profile undercover video campaign targeting the nonprofit Planned Parenthood, which through affiliates runs about 700 health centers throughout the U.S. Many of these health clinics offer abortions and the majority offer lowcost reproductive and sexual-health services. In July, a national group called the Center for Medical Progress began releasing a string
sells baby parts is powerful and useful when your goal is to stop the construction of a new Planned Parenthood health center, such as the one Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington, DC is building in Near Northeast, after recently closing down its two older locations. It’s Monday, and these couple dozen activists, some of them clutching rosaries, plant their knees in the street just next to the Planned Parenthood construction site. They pray to God, but simultaneously direct their prayers at the pope, who will touch down just outside of D.C. the following day. As the leader of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Francis opposes abortion but recently made headlines after he encouraged priests to absolve women who confess to “the sin of abortion.” “We pray, oh God, that this center will not be built,” Mahoney leads in prayer. “As we hear the sound of children celebrating on the playground and enjoying one another, it stands in stark contrast to what may be happening in this building just months from now.” Indeed, the squeals of children playing almost drown out the reverend’s earnest prayers. Planned Parenthood is moving in next door to Two Rivers Public Charter School’s elementary campus. It’s mid-morning, and students are playing during recess. But today, their playground has been wrapped in black netting, shielding the kids’ view of the protest. The school’s executive director, Jessica Wodatch, stands on the front steps of the elementary campus with other school officials, one of whom films the kneeling protesters, who are taking turns praying out loud and at Photographs by Darrow Montgomery
By Sofia Resnick
of secretly recorded videos of conversations with Planned Parenthood executives, trying to prove that the nonprofit illegally sells aborted fetal organs for profit and murders live babies out of the womb. The group edited the 10-minute versions of some of these videos to
suggest these notions. However, the more than 15 hours of raw footage the organization has released so far does not support these claims. State and federal investigations of these allegations have thus far proved fruitless. But the narrative that Planned Parenthood
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 7
DISTRICTLINE one point begin singing “Amazing Grace.” Officials at the Two Rivers middle school campus across the street are also watching and filming the scene through the window, and construction workers watch from high up in the structure they’ve been turning into a Planned Parenthood center. Meanwhile, a group of MPD officers lean against their SUVs that are blocking off the street’s entrance. They calmly observe the activists while occasionally talking to school officials. As organizers go, Mahoney is especially organized. Leading up to this event, his group filed for a permit to assemble and let police know of their plans. Though 12 of the 25 or so protesters have arrived this morning with $100 cash in their pockets for potential bond money, neither Mahoney nor MPD expect anyone will end up in handcuffs. And by 2 o’clock that afternoon, the activists get out of the street, and the police disperse. No one is arrested. Mahoney set up this scene for the pope, but the true target audience of this protest was the neighborhood. Officially, the charter school, residents, and business owners around the block are gaining a new neighbor in Planned Parenthood. Unofficially, they’re also gaining a group of abortion-rights foes. Planned Parenthood has relocated, and so have the protesters. Over the summer, anti-abortion-rights activists converted the construction site at 1225 4th St. NE into a prayer site and a platform from which to protest against abortion access, but more specifically Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington, DC’s new health center. Various groups have been staging protests in front of the construction site. On a Saturday morning in August, about 150 activists from different national groups protested in front of the building, calling for Planned Parenthood to be stripped of federal funding it receives to provide non-abortion-related services. And just last week, activists began protesting, praying, and fasting in front of the site as part of an international campaign led by a Texas-based group called 40 Days for Life. They plan to show up for 40 days, from dawn to dusk. Many of the organizers of these campaigns work for national anti-abortion-rights groups headquartered in the District. Abortionrights opponents across America have long treated D.C.’s now-shuttered Planned Parenthood flagship site on 16th and L streets as their Lincoln Memorial. It is a national symbol for them, but also a convenient place to demonstrate for those who work on the Hill or visit for events or conferences focused on
dependent clinics and doctors provide abortions here. Instead, the idea is to try to expel the most visible symbol of abortion in America from the nation’s capital. “If we can work as people of goodwill and justice to stop this center from going in, it will have national implications,” Mahoney says. “Because what happens in the nation’s capital has strong bearing on what goes on and influences the country. Plus, you are right in the center of every decision maker, both legislatively and judicially, who would see this.” Of course, protesting the District’s Planned Parenthood is just one example of national advocates and politicians trying to curtail D.C. residents’ access to abortion and reproductive health services. In 2011, then-Mayor Vince Gray and several D.C. councilmembers were arrested while protesting a congressional spending bill that precluded the District from using local funds to pay for some women’s abortions. This year, congressional Republicans have been trying to overturn a D.C. law prohibiting employers from firing employees based on their personal reproductive health choices. Abortion-Free DC supporters pray outside a recent ANC meeting.
criminalizing abortion. But one group in particular has been working religiously since mid-summer to try to stop this clinic from opening. Mahoney launched Abortion-Free DC in July after learning that Planned Parenthood would not be shutting down operations in the District, but simply moving in order to update and expand its operations. Some of Abortion-Free DC’s tactics are very public. In addition to protests, the group is trying to drum up local opposition to the clinic by canvassing the neighborhood and speaking at community meetings. Behind the scenes, though, the group has been collecting documents and searching for proof that Planned Parenthood has violated D.C. regulations. “When we heard that there was no Planned Parenthood abortion clinic in D.C., we were thrilled,” says Mahoney, who also directs the Christian Defense Coalition and is lead pastor at Church on the Hill, headquartered behind the U.S. Supreme Court. “But then they’re planning to build a much larger facility, so we began to mobilize and say, ‘Well, can we come together as a community and do all that we can peacefully, prayerfully, and publicly to see that this new Planned Parenthood is not
8 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
built, does not do abortions?” Ultimately, however, Abortion-Free DC is trying to create roots in a new neighborhood. Mahoney has spent 27 years—almost half of his life—peacefully protesting in front of the former Planned Parenthood, and occasionally going to jail for it. And he says he is prepared to spend the rest of his life doing the same. Because while Mahoney believes that his group is unlikely to stop Planned Parenthood from opening next year, he says he and other activists intend to serve as public witnesses of D.C.’s Planned Parenthood clinic as long as the clinic stands. “This may be another 27-year relationship,” he says. “I hope and pray that it isn’t, but it could be.” Planned Parenthood’s D.C. affiliate says they are not daunted by activists’ efforts. “With all of the swirl around Planned Parenthood, we will continue to see patients,” says Dr. Laura Meyers, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington, DC. “We will continue to provide care no matter what.” Despite the group’s name, the focus of Abortion-Free DC’s campaign is not to eliminate legal abortion in the District; other in-
On a recent Thursday night, about 10 activists met at the Dubliner restaurant and pub, just a few blocks from the Capitol. The air was crisp and pleasant that night, so the group sat outside. A passerby might have wondered about the odd hodgepodge of people drinking beer and eating sandwiches together, which ranged from millennials working in the anti-abortion-rights movement since college to longtime activists like Mahoney to a local priest. Abortion-Free DC does not have official members. Mahoney says between 10 and 15 people meet with him at his shared office space to talk strategy, and usually more attend their events. Spirits were high around the table, even though the evening did not go quite as planned. The group was able to corral about 20 activists and friends to this month’s meeting of Advisory Neighborhood Commission 6C, which serves the area where the new Planned Parenthood is scheduled to open. They were hoping to voice their opposition to the clinic at the end of the meeting. But as it turned out, the agenda was full, and there would be no opportunity for unscheduled comments. Fortunately for them, one activist who lives in the District had signed up to speak. Diane Conocchioli managed to capture the essence of Abortion-Free DC’s messaging strategy in her short speech, which spilled a bit over the three-minute time limit. After briefly comparing abortion to the Holocaust, Conoc-
No monthly fee? No flippin’ joke. With TD Bank checking, all you need is a $100 minimum daily balance. Really. That’s it. Just stop by your local TD Bank today.
TD Bank, N.A. | No monthly fee with a $100 minimum daily balance in a TD Convenience CheckingSM account when enrolled in online statements only. Other transaction related fees may apply – see fee schedule.
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 9
DISTRICTLINE chioli zoomed in on two key points. She argued that Planned Parenthood was insensitive to move next door to Two Rivers Public Charter School. Then she accused Planned Parenthood and the ANC of covering up the center’s relocation plans. “This is so astonishing and in my view only compounds the whole horror of abortion and the whole horror of Planned Parenthood, that you have this facility square in the middle, at an exact right angle of a school,” says Conocchioli, who helped organize D.C.’s 40 Days for Life campaign this fall. Indeed, parents of children who attend Two Rivers expressed concern to the Washington Post about the school’s proximity to the Planned Parenthood, in part because of the people protesting out front and, in at least one instance, waving graphic signs with images of aborted fetuses months before the center has even started seeing patients. Two Rivers’ Wodatch did not respond to requests for comment, but Planned Parenthood says they have met with the school’s administration and parents and with the local ANC multiple times since last year and are trying to foster a positive relationship with the school and community leaders. “Planned Parenthood has been working with the community since purchasing the building including the ANC, Two Rivers, and other key stakeholders,” says Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan, DC Vice President of Marketing and Communications Mara Braunger in an email. “Last school year, Dr. Meyers spoke to the Two Rivers PSA. Earlier in the summer, we knocked on 500 doors introducing ourselves to our new neighbors, and the response was overwhelmingly positive and welcoming.” ANC 6C06 Commissioner Tony Goodman, who is also a Two Rivers parent, says many people in the neighborhood are nervous about the new clinic. Though some oppose abortion, he says, his sense is that the neighborhood is worried about the circus of protesters that the center will bring. “I’m not thrilled about walking past, between my house and the school, [the Planned Parenthood] every day,” Goodman says. “But it’s not because what is going on inside the building. It’s because I don’t want to walk past protesters every day.” Planned Parenthood says this is not the first time one of its clinics will exist next to a charter school. For years, the School for Arts in Learning operated next door downtown, Braunger says. “We need to ask the protesters why they think it is appropriate to involve small children in an adult conversation with images that
The site of D.C.’s future Planned Parenthood
are clearly inappropriate for children,” Meyers says. “The bottom line is that we really need to be talking to the protesters about censoring and monitoring their own behavior around children.” To mitigate some of these concerns, Mahoney says he has instructed activists affiliated with his group not to speak to students or parents or to show them graphic signs as they protest. He says he scheduled Monday’s protest in the street at 10 a.m. in order to avoid disrupting students arriving to school in the morning. And at his request, protesters did not bring signs displaying graphic images of aborted fetuses. “Our issue is not with the school,” Mahoney says. Of course, many of the protesters argue that they are compelled to protest in front of the clinic because they are morally opposed to abortion and view it as murder. “What kind of a monster would I be if I thought that they were killing human beings inside and I didn’t say a word?” says Kathleen Burke, who has lived in the neighborhood for all 36 years of her life and attended this month’s ANC meeting. “I don’t want to be like all of the Germans after World War II
10 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
that were like, ‘Oh I had no idea they were killing Jews in there.’” A claim Conocchioli raised at the ANC meeting and one that Abortion-Free DC has repeatedly made is that neither Planned Parenthood nor the local ANC made residents aware that Planned Parenthood would be coming to the neighborhood and providing abortions. “This has been on the drawing board, under the radar, for two years,” Conocchioli says. “And I guess I have to turn to the commission and respectfully ask, ‘How is it that this could have happened without a period of public notice, without a period of public hearing? How could something like this have happened without people from the community being brought into the process?’” But Matt Orlins, the Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs’ legislative and public affairs director, says Planned Parenthood’s permits to renovate the facility were “properly approved” and did not require a public hearing or that the public be noticed. Mahoney’s group intends to keep the regulatory affairs department busy as they search for regulations Planned Parenthood may have violated. Earlier this summer, Abortion-Free DC claimed Planned Parenthood had violated
a rule surrounding its permit signs. Inspectors checked out the claim and determined that the health center was complying with all building regulations. Mahoney is also trying to prove his theory that Planned Parenthood may have violated a requirement for full disclosure by applying for building permits as an “outpatient health clinic,” without noting on the applications that its health services would include abortions. “If abortion is nothing to be ashamed of, why not put it in there?” Mahoney says. But according to the D.C. Department of Health, Planned Parenthood was not required to re-state its services as part of the process of relocating to a different building. Ivan Torres, a media liaison for DOH, says that two years ago Planned Parenthood inquired with D.C.’s State Health Planning and Development Agency to see if they needed to resubmit a certificate of need detailing their activities. It was determined they did not need to, he says. “For nearly 80 years, D.C. women and men have relied on Planned Parenthood for a broad range of high-quality nonjudgmental healthcare services including STI testing, well woman exams, pap tests, breast exams, birth control, and abortion services,” Braunger says in an email, when asked if Planned Parenthood had notified residents and Two Rivers parents whether it would be providing abortion services. “We will be offering the full range of services at our new state of the art health center.” Goodman disagrees with activists’ assessment that Planned Parenthood has not been transparent, arguing that the organization purchased the building and has applied for permits using its true name rather than trying to hide under an alias. He says the type of building permits Planned Parenthood applied for did not require a vote from the ANC, or for the ANC to ask the public to weigh in on the project. Still, Goodman says he is considering a request from Mahoney to host a special meeting to allow residents to air their concerns about the new Planned Parenthood. He says the ANC did this two years ago when residents mounted opposition against a Wal-Mart opening on H Street NW. He thinks the meeting eased tensions back then but does not think a special meeting this time around will resolve the controversy, or end the protests. “We’re not going to solve [a] nationwide, long-running debate in the course of a special CP meeting,” Goodman says. Resnick is an investigative reporter for RH Reality Check.
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 11
DISTRICTLINE City Desk
Blocks From the White
house, PoPe
edition Bonus rounds: What: Speaker John Boehner, a noted Catholic, reflecting on faith and career, over breakfast. The Washington Post discovered that on the Friday he announced his resignation, “Boehner had his regular breakfast at Pete’s Diner, two blocks from the Capitol.” Where: About 0.5 miles from door to door Why no one at all should worry: What really counts here is what Mr. Boehner ate for breakfast on that fateful day he quit his job, because as Ecclesiastes 10:16 warns, “Woe to you, O land, whose king is a lad and whose princes feast in the morning.” A small, light breakfast is prescribed. What: Mortal sins! The new Planned Parenthood is moving from its previous location “just blocks from the White House” to a site “next door to an elementary school campus and across the street from a middle school campus,” finds the Post. Think of the children (and read our cover story on the subject)! Where: Right next door to Two Rivers Public Charter School Why parents shouldn’t worry: Unfortunately, support for universal reproductive rights isn’t contagious, so if you send anti-choice children to a school next to a healthcare provider, they will return to you the same anti-choice children. But the kids are going to be between a rock and a hard place: Matthew 19:19 says to “Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Time to pick a side, children—will it be your pearl-clutching parents or your new neighbors?
12 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
Tomorrow’s history today: This was the week that Metro instituted skip-stop service at Stadium-Armory in response to a transformer fire.
During his recent little-publicized and minimally disruptive social call to some friends here in D.C., Pope Francis toured some of the local sites and destinations: the Capitol, the basilica, the White House, the Ellipse, Joe Biden’s neighborhood. Despite the visit from God’s living representative on Earth— and likely unbeknownst to him—the District kept right on District-ing. Here’s a catalogue of events in proximity to the pope, with an assessed threat level according to biblical verse (Ed. note: This author knows absolutely nothing about the Bible and has obtained these quotes using the canonical teachings of a Google search.) As always, send us prime examples of proximity-based panic-mongering by tweet—Emily Q. Hazzard ing us @BlocksfromtheWH.
What: Courthouse activity, usually, but on Pope Day: nothing. D.C. Superior Court suspended criminal, juvenile, and custody cases for two days during the holy sight-see, because, the Washington Post notes, “the Superior Court’s H. Carl Moultrie Courthouse... is about 10 blocks from the White House and the Ellipse, where events related to the pope’s visit took place.” Where: 1.3 miles from the pope Why the pope shouldn’t worry: Romans 3:31 says you should follow the rules: “Do we then overthrow the law by this faith? By no means! On the contrary, we uphold the law.” We’ll chalk this one up to traffic snarls.
What: “[S]tench and vermin, trash truck convoys spewing exhaust, and seagulls circling overhead” is the perfectly apocalyptic way National Geographic describes garbage and birds it found in Brentwood, just “Blocks From the Pope’s Mass” and “Two miles northeast of the U.S. Capitol... and just blocks from North America’s largest Roman Catholic Church.” Where: 3.4 miles from the pope (while addressing Congress) and 2.3 miles from the pope (while delivering Mass). Bonus: Another trash site, the Fort Totten transfer station, shuffles garbage around right next to Catholic University. Why the pope shouldn’t worry: Given his stance on environmental stewardship, the pope could spare some concern for those District residents who have seen a mountain of garbage ruin their neighborhood. Plus, Leviticus 18:25 has an ominous warning about dirtying up your immediate environment: “For the land has become defiled, therefore I have brought its punishment upon it, so the land has spewed out its inhabitants.”
What: WAMU got an exclusive interview with three locals who were “hanging out at Brookland Pint, located a few blocks from the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, the night before Wednesday Mass with Pope Francis” while “indulging in [Brookland Pint’s] papal beer lineup.” Where: 0.3 miles from the pope Why the pope shouldn’t worry: Men drinking beer? A timeless and (mostly) harmless tradition, but as Proverbs 20:1 cautions, “Wine is a mocker, beer is a brawler, and whoever staggers because of them is not wise,” so hopefully they kept their consumption moderate.
STUDIO, 1, 2 BEDROOMS & LOFTS
A FRESH PERSPECTIVE ON HOME FOR THE MODERN MINDSET
NOW LEASING
877.470.5780 CALL NOW TO SCHEDULE A TOUR!
LIMITED TIME OFFER! 2 Months Free on Studios, 1 & 2 Bedrooms for Leases signed by 10/4*
*Some restrictions apply. Contact a leasing representative for details.
9TH AND U STREET - THE INTERSECTION OF CULTURE AND STYLE BE THE FIRST TO SEE THE NEWEST PART OF THE SHAY – THE WEST BUILDING IS NOW OPEN AND HOST TO AMENITIES INCLUDING AN EXPANSIVE ROOFTOP DECK WITH MONUMENTAL DOWNTOWN VIEWS AND GAS GRILLS; A 24-HOUR FITNESS CENTER; SPACIOUS LOUNGE FEATURING A MEDIA AREA WITH TV’S, CATERING KITCHEN AND GAME ROOM; AND AN OUTDOOR TERRACE WITH REFLECTING POOL AND FIRE PIT LOUNGE.
A SHORT WALK TO U STREET AND SHAW METRO STATIONS, CRAWLING DISTANCE TO NELLIE’S, TOWN DANCEBOUTIQUE AND THE BRIXTON. SHAW IS THE PLACE TO BE AND THE SHAY IS WELL, EXCEPTIONAL, JUST LIKE YOU. 1924 8TH STREET NW, WASHINGTON, DC
I
THESHAY.COM
I
I washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 13
UNOBSTRUCTEDVIEW Worst Week Ever By Matt Terl
The District of Columbia Government Department of Human Services Food Stamp Employment and Training Program (202) 535-1178
GOVERNMENT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA MURIEL BOWSER, MAYOR
Get Connected #FSET Works Sponsored by the Food Stamp Employment and Training Program (FSET)
What:Job and Resource Fair Where: THEARC Location: 1901 Mississippi Avenue, SE, Washington, DC 20020 When: Wednesday, October 7, 2015 Time: 10:00 am – 2:00 pm If you receive Food Stamps, but are not eligible for TANF benefits, the FSET Program invites you to join us for the GET Connected #FSET Works Job and Resource Fair. All attendees must pre-register and attend a mandatory prep session. Please go to https://fsetworks-dc.eventbrite.com to complete your pre-registration and to select a date }for your mandatory preparation session with a Vocational Development Specialist.
14 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
There’s a Byronic allure to being a market that’s cursed to deal with an ongoing cascade of sports catastrophes, not just a town full of bad teams. Sometimes I think we’re all prone to that, fans and media, and I agree with the people who say that D.C. sports angst is histrionic and overblown. But then weeks like this one reappear. First consider the Pigskins. They pulled a classic rope-a-dope, beginning with a win against a lowly opponent, showing promise and improvement across the board, to get fans just a little bit excited while their division rivals appear to completely implode. For three glorious days after that win, the team didn’t do anything overtly stupid, and national pundits were cautiously talking about their chances to sneak into a division championship. On Thursday, though, the rightful order of the football universe was restored, as the team humiliated themselves in a mistake-filled performance against the Giants on national TV that would have been right at home in any of the last few disastrous seasons. Then take the Terps, who were beyond humiliated at West Virginia, losing a game 45-6 that wasn’t nearly as close as the score implies. Head coach Randy Edsall’s job should be in jeopardy, although a recent Washington Post report quotes a number of boosters and decision-makers saying that Edsall is safe. It’s going to get much more difficult to make those assertions with a straight face if the team continues to be such a paragon of futility. Then the Nationals finally, mercifully destroyed the last shreds of hope from their season and officially got themselves eliminated from the playoffs—an outcome that had taken on such a sense of inevitability that it barely even seemed worth noting. All of those things, though—that’s all stuff that just happens to your basic bad teams. What happened next—what always happens next in D.C. sports—is that the losing escalated into farce. On the Nationals’ Fan Appreciation Day, the second-to-last home game of the season, closer Jonathan Papelbon chided star Bryce Harper for not running hard to first on a flyout. Things, as they say, escalated quickly, culminating with Papelbon choking Harper and slamming him into the dugout bench as teammates and coaches moved to separate the two. Of course it was all caught on video, because it’s D.C. sports. Because it’s 2015, the video immediately got turned into GIFs and Vines and put on Twitter. And just like that, the Na-
tionals—preseason World Series favorites— managed to make their elimination from the playoffs just their second-most embarrassing incident of the week. Manager Matt Williams, who may well be fired by the time you read this (depending on when you grab your WCP off the rack), handled the situation with his characteristic mixture of no-nonsense bluntness and abject, baffling, tone-deaf stupidity. First, he left Papelbon in the game (where he promptly gave up five earned runs); then he defended his decision to leave Papelbon in the game; then he walked back his defense of the decision and claimed that he was the only person in the entire baseball-watching universe who didn’t realize quite what had happened. The idiocy continued the next day. The team suspended Papelbon for the remainder of the season—which was a fine if meaningless and inadequate gesture—but also held Harper out of Monday’s home finale for his “part in the incident,” i.e., sticking his throat emphatically in front of Papelbon’s outstretched hand. What’s most significant about this particular goat rodeo, though, is that it happened to the Nationals. The Pigskins manage to stage this kind of big-budget Hollywood disaster twice a week every offseason, but the Nationals were supposed to be the chance for a D.C. sports team to distinguish itself from a circus sideshow. And they were so close! Their highly-touted early draft picks had actually blossomed more or less as they were supposed to—into stars (in Stephen Strasburg’s case) or MVP-level supernovas (in Harper’s). Their big-ticket offseason free agent signing seemed to have paid off, as starting pitcher Max Scherzer opened the season looking every bit the ace he was expected to be. But there were still problems. Smart baseball people said from the outset that there was a lack of relief pitching on the team. The cost-cutting that drove the decisions at the closer slot created early problems. And the fix—a midseason trade for Papelbon—was widely derided as foolish from a baseball perspective and downright atrocious for clubhouse chemistry. But this—the initial brawl and then the idiotic, ham-handed way in which it was handled—is the kind of thing that the Nats were supposed to leave to the meatheads in Ashburn. This is the kind of thing that changes the national perception of a team, turning a preseason favorite into an object of scorn. It’s the kind of thing that make people embarrassed to be fans. And yet, as a D.C. sports fan, it’s the kind of CP thing that seems sadly inevitable. Follow Matt Terl on Twitter @Matt_Terl
Gear Prudence: I was out the other night and I locked up my bike at a bike rack next to another bike. I left and when I came back, the other bike had fallen over. I insist: I did not knock it over! It fell on its own! It was not my fault! And that’s why I left it lying on the ground. But should I have picked it up? —Fretful Evening, Left Laid Dear FELL: It’s OK. GP believes you. Stationary objects totally fall of their own volition. Sometimes bike parking jobs are done quite poorly with a U- or cable lock strewn casually about a tube in such a way that the bike is not anchored in a substantial way. Or perhaps the original owner returned and decided to knock it over in an elaborate scheme to entrap and con you. Or maybe GP doesn’t believe you, and you just accidentally knocked it over. Things happen. Generally with other people’s bikes, Bluth prison rules apply: No touching! But bike rack parking proximity doesn’t always mean this is possible. If in the course of retrieving your own bike you chance upon a bike that has fallen over (either from the net effect of your own actions or through other mysterious means), take a moment to render the other bike upright. It’s not strictly necessary, but it’s an easy pleasantry that might make you feel like a marginally better person at an extremely low —GP cost in time and effort. Gear Prudence: I am not a klutz, but I also keep getting bruised every time I carry my bike anywhere. I don’t think that I’m overly banging into it, but I have all of these bruises on my legs and arms and it’s sort of turning me off the whole idea of biking. Why does this keep happening and how do I stop it? —Hematomas Unduly Ruin Travel Dear HURT: This contusion confusion doesn’t seem excessively mysterious, but GP can certainly grok your frustration with it. Unfortunately, GP also isn’t sure how to better advise you than to suggest that you take a greater degree of care in wrapping yourself in the layers and layers of bubble wrap that literally all cyclists wear. Though negligible in the amount of harm they cause others in traffic crashes, almost every rider has found him or herself welted from a callous carry or some other hapless maneuver that brought hard metal tubing in contact with considerably less hard flesh and bone. Seek remediation through mitigation. If possible, lift and carry your bike less. If you must carry your bike, go about it gingerly. As best you can, avoid tight spaces in which your bike might press against you unnecessarily. Think —GP gentle thoughts. Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about bicycling? Email gearprudence@washcp.com. washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 15
BUYD.C.
Keep in Touch By Kaarin Vembar
Push the Envelope This envelope template is the perfect gift for the snail-mail crafter in your life. Envelope template, $18. Analog. 716 Monroe St. NE, Studio 5. shopanalog.com
Is the Glass half full? Is the Glass half empty? how about half off!
realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com 16 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
I Mean Business You never know who you are going to sit beside on Metro. Keep your business cards handy in this Paris-inspired holder. Business card holder, $7.50. Groovy DC Cards & Gifts. 321 7th St. SE. (202) 544-6633
Strike Up a Conversation A girl learns that her great-grandfather’s diary is composed of objects kept inside matchboxes. The Matchbox Diary by Paul Fleischman, $16.98. The Fairy Godmother. 319 7th St. SE. (202) 547-5474
Lap it Up If all of your correspondence is done via email, a lap desk can make the task more efficient while you remain comfy-cosy. iBed lap desk, $13.95. Homebody/Forecast. 218 7th St. SE. (202) 547-7337
Wax On, Wax Off A wax stamp is an elegant touch to complement your handwritten love letters. Sealing wax stamp, $13. Proper Topper. 1350 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 842-3055
SAVAGELOVE I’ve been dating this guy for almost two months. It’s been pretty good, except the sex isn’t really the best. I have this other male friend who has had a crush on me. Long story short: My friend made a move on me the other night. I told him I couldn’t, and he knew why, but to be honest, I was insanely turned on by his forwardness. He apologized, but a week later we hung out, and I told him that it really intrigued me, and we ended up having crazy cool sex—satisfying in all the ways the guy I’m dating isn’t. I haven’t told the guy I’m seeing about this and I don’t plan to. But I feel guilty. I keep rationalizing that we have never had a talk about exclusivity, and I therefore have no obligation to him. I want to keep fucking my friend, but I also enjoy dating this other guy. Am I an asshole? Am I obligated to disclose that I’m not interested in monogamy —Too Many Intrigues with him?
I am a 23-year-old straight male who has a pattern of getting into long-distance relationships that become semi-long-term relationships before I get depressed by the monotony of it all and wind up breaking up with the person. I resolved that in the relationship I’m currently in—nine months and counting—I would keep it casual, which resulted in it turning into an open mono/poly relationship, meaning I’m poly and she’s monogamous. She is great, cute, and intelligent, and there is nothing destructive or dishonest about our relationship. I just find myself not wanting to talk to her every day, and the weekly Skype calls feel like a chore. We have a great time when we visit each other, but I only feel like catching up when I see her in person. Is this the price I have to pay to keep her happy? —Not An Asshole
Are you an asshole? That can’t be ruled out, TMI, but I can’t make a determination with the limited data you’ve provided. One asshole move—and cheating on Mr. Two Months was definitely an asshole move—does not an asshole make. We know this because while everyone is guilty of the occasional asshole move, not everyone is an asshole. Assholes are made when asshole moves come one right after the other, and an ever-thickening layer of asshole moves hardens into total assholery. Anyway, while you might not have had a conversation with the guy you’re currently dating/cheating on about exclusivity, you wouldn’t feel guilty about what/who you did if you didn’t think Mr. Two Months was operating under the assumption that you two were exclusive. So the cheating was an asshole move and your rationalization, as you seem to be aware, is a pile of self-serving bullshit that’s equal parts transparent and unnecessary. Because as much as you like hanging out with Mr. Two Months, the sex hasn’t been good for you and you haven’t been good to him. Don’t negotiate a nonmonogamous —Dan Savage agreement. End it.
I’ve read that young people don’t make phone calls anymore—talking on the phone is for olds (full disclosure: We olds hardly speak to each other on the phone anymore, either)—so I’m surprised your youngand-mono GF wants to hear your youngand-poly voice on a daily basis. I think you should propose a young-and-fun compromise: texting instead of phoning during the week and a Skype/masturbation session on —Dan the weekend. I’m a straight 28-year-old female, in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. We live together, and on the weekends we care for his kid. We are very much in love and have a supportive, happy relationship. I’ve always had a hard time being monogamous. In every relationship, I tend to get a wandering eye around the two-year mark. Recently I went by myself to see a friend’s band and ended up meeting a man I had an insane chemistry with. We spent the whole evening together and wound up making out before I literally ran away. The next day, stone cold sober, I called him, drove to his house, and we fucked like crazy. It was ani-
malistic and intense, and I felt like a fucking porn star. It was awesome. My boyfriend and I have sex that I truly enjoy, and I usually get off, but he struggles to be dominant, rough, or talk dirty, which are things I really get off on. He says he’s too self-conscious to be dominant in bed. This stranger did all the things I wish my boyfriend would do. To test the waters, I casually mentioned an arrangement where we could sleep with other people, and he said he wasn’t into it. If I’m happy in my relationship, and the sex we have is consistently good, sometimes amazing, is that enough? Am I giving up on an aspect of my sexuality if I stay with him, or am I just looking for excuses to fuck other people? —Likes It All Rough
Are you an asshole? That can’t be ruled out, TMI. A loving and supportive partner, a happy relationship, and good sex that occasionally tips into the amazing column—yeah, most people would tell you that’s not only enough, LIAR, it’s a better relationship than the one they’re currently in, recently left, or ever hope to find. But the fact that most people would like to trade places with you isn’t relevant, LIAR, because what you have with your boyfriend isn’t enough for you. You want love, happiness, stability, and the free-
dom to fuck other guys—and you would want that freedom even if your boyfriend was capable of dominating you in the sack just the way you like. Seeing as you know this about yourself— seeing as you know that monogamy isn’t for you (see: the wandering eye at 24 months, the fucking that other guy at his place)—making a monogamous commitment you know you can’t keep is an asshole move. So here’s what you’re gonna do: Tell your lovely, loving boyfriend that nonmonogamy is a non-negotiable. You are willing, of course, to negotiate with him about the form your open relationship might take, but you must make it clear to him that a closed relationship is a recipe for disaster—because sooner or later, you will cheat on him. If he fights on that point, LIAR, if he tells you that he’s sure you’re capable of being monogamous, then you can tell him that by “sooner or later” you meant “last week, with —Dan this dude I met in a bar.” I think your answer to BFF last week missed an essential piece of information. She refers to herself as engaging in “drunken” threesomes and hookups. I think she needs to examine her own behavior, not that of her roommate and FWB, and the fact that her relationships seem to be fueled by the effects of her alcohol consumption. I’m guessing her letter was fuzzy for a reason. It was probably written in a drunken haze. Nothing you say will get through to her unless you address her use of alcohol. —Alcohol Not The Solution Full disclosure: I was drinking when I wrote my response to BFF. So just as it’s possible that alcohol played a role in the drama BFF described, it’s possible I neglected to point that fact out because I was a little drunky myself. —Dan Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net
10/31/15 washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 17
18 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
DCFEED
Latin American wine bar to replace Petworth store accused of selling synthetic drugs washingtoncitypaper.com/go/latin
YOUNG & HUNGRY
Object of My Rejection The right way to complain in a restaurant
But restaurant staff can’t fix problems they don’t know about. It was a chicken quesadilla, of all things, “You’re not doing yourself any favors by sitthat set the diner off. Satellite Room General ting in silence and stewing and then writing to Manager Michael Richardson, as he normalme about it,” says Sietsema, whose weekly online ly does in these situations, introduced himself to chat is flooded with diner complaints, many of the guest and asked what the problem was. which could have been resolved at the table. As Richardson tells it, the angry patron called A good manager will welcome a few ripples if the food “the definition of bad” and said that the it means an opportunity to make things better. chicken tasted “off.” Most just want the opportunity to turn a bad sit“He wouldn’t take a free drink or anything, uation around—not question your judgement. and I checked the ingredients in the kitchen and “When in doubt, just speak up. You’re not gochalked this up to him just being weird,” Riching to get in any trouble for it,” says Catherine Ker, general manager at Pearl Dive Oyster Palardson says. ace and Black Jack. “We definitely want to make The guest even handed over his business card, sure that everyone has a great time.” suggesting the staff “Google” him. In most cases, if something is wrong, the res“Google him? For what?” Richardson wontaurant will already know about it. If they don’t, ders. “He had three friends meet him about the first person you should tell is your server. five minutes later, and he loudly over and over “If two or three things happened during the talked about his quesadilla as though looking course of a meal that I didn’t find to be correct, for attention.” then I’d ask to see a manager,” says Mo Cherry, Most restaurants want to deliver a good exgeneral manager at Mintwood Place. perience, but that’s sometimes easier said than If you’re in a sensitive situation, consider getdone. Running a restaurant involves coordinating ting up to talk to a manager or hostess privately many moving parts, from the hostess who seats and simply laying out the facts, without accusing you to the kitchen staff preparing each dish. Misor placing blame. Managers say they will happily takes are bound to happen. But too often, restauoffer up something to make amends for slow food rant managers say, people don’t know the right or service, such as a round of drinks or a quick way to complain. Understanding the dos and appetizer to buy time. If they don’t, confident don’ts of addressing problems can make all the diners should feel free to voice their concern and difference in turning a bad meal around. Lyn Holland, a bartender and industry vetersee if something can be done to turn their expean, once had to deal with a customer who felt that rience around. the sun was shining too brightly at her table. “I think as long as it’s asked in a respectful “The window clearly did not have blinds, but manner, I don’t think it’s rude or incorrect to do the customer did not want to move tables as was so,” says Poste Moderne Brasserie General Manager William Smith. our suggestion,” Holland says via email. “She The best servers also keep tabs on the dining stayed at the table and groused every time the In most cases, restaurant staff will offer free food and drinks to keep a room to try to proactively identify guests that server came by.” diner happy—but first they have to know about the problem. might not be enjoying themselves. This might More often than not, D.C. diners are fairly knowledgeable when it comes to dining out—it’s the custom“I guess there’s something about being in a restaurant that mean watching for plates of untouched food and other body ers who sit in silence that can be the most frustrating for res- intimidates people a little bit,” says Washington Post critic Tom language cues, like guests who are looking around the dining taurants. Even the most seasoned diners can sometimes find Sietsema. “They might be on business, they might be on a room, picking at their food, or even making funny faces. “If for some reason you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s usualit uncomfortable to bring up problems for fear of causing a date, they might just want to get away from the kids or whatever. And they just don’t want to make waves.” ly fairly evident,” says Matt Hollis, general manager at Joe’s scene in the dining room. Donna Grethen
By Travis Mitchell
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 19
Fri & Sat, Oct 2 & 3 at Midnight!
35 M M
FROM THE MAKERS OF THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!
PRIN T!
Buy Advance Tickets Online
tickets.landmarktheatres.com
PRESENTED & HOSTED BY SONIC TRANSDUCERS! WITH SPECIAL GUESTS FORMAL DRESS OPTIONAL!
NOW SERVING BRUNCH PRIX FIXE
$25 Featuring
BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS MOJITOS MARGARITAS & SANGRIAS Reservations
202-783-8212 THE INVESTMENT BUILDING 1501 K Street Washington, DC W W W . C L AU D I A S S T E A K H O U S E . C O M 20 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com
Mary’s Center presents
Noche Tropical Annual Gala
washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar Mary’s Center invites you to celebrate its 2015 Annual Gala Noche Tropical
Friday, October 16, 2015, 6:30 pm Co-Chairs: Matthew Klinger and Nina Albert Four Seasons Hotel 2800 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC Cocktail Reception, silent auction, dinner, live music, and ‘Hora Loca’
For more information and to buy tickets, call 202-420-7002
www.maryscenter.org
DCFEED(cont.) Seafood, Prime Steak & Stone Crab. Many of the issues that come up can be quickly and easily remedied by restaurant management, which is one of the main reasons they want immediate feedback. An undercooked dish can be brought up to temperature. Loud music or temperature issues can usually be adjusted. Dirty dishes or seating areas can be cleaned. Providing honest feedback also helps restaurants improve their menu or performance for the guests who come after. “If we have five guests in a week say that they didn’t like the dish, if you get multiple feedback like that, that’s important for the business,” says Kendra Graves, managing partner at Farmers Fishers Bakers. “Maybe we need to check the recipe or maybe we need to revise the dish.” At Joe’s, customer complaints over the authenticity of the Oysters Rockefeller led the restaurant to adopt a more traditional preparation of the dish. But it turns out that led to its own controversy. “We endured such a backlash from our regular guests who had dined at our locations over the years that, after six months, we decided it was not worth the fight, and we changed it
back to our original,” Hollis says. When it comes to legitimizing complaints, certain basic rules stay largely the same, whether you’re eating fast food or haute cuisine, Sietsema says. Diners should expect hot food to be served hot and cold food served cold. And prompt, efficient, and gracious service is always in style, white table cloth or not. Some situations can be more uncomfortable. Say, for example you went out on a limb and ordered a strange dish that, as it turns out, you just don’t like it. Or maybe you feel like that medium rare burger you’ve been craving looks more well-done. What is the best way forward? Crystal Bailey, director of the Etiquette Institute of Washington, says it’s unacceptable to complain when you’ve received exactly what you ordered. Most of the time though, politely asking for substitution or a replacement isn’t likely to put you on the blacklist. The majority of restaurant managers will be more than happy to whisk away the dish in favor of something you know you’ll like, even if it means that perfectly good entrée ends up in the trash. “If you came to my house and I served you chicken pot pie, and you don’t like chicken
pot pie, then I’ll make something else for you. It’s not your fault. It’s not my fault. It’s just not what you’re looking for,” says Tico General Manager Steve Uhr. Before you send back that medium-rare burger for looking slightly overcooked, though, have some sympathy for the kitchen staff. They probably won’t spit in your food, but they likely won’t be thrilled having to remake a perfectly fine dish. “This happens a lot and is absolutely aggravating,” Richardson says. “All too often the kitchen gets yelled at for mistakes, and when something comes back to them that has nothing wrong with it, it’s frustrating for everyone. Now they have to rush another dish ahead of everyone else’s food. It slows them down.” It’s understandable to be upset over something being wrong. Managers get that—within reason. After all, dining out is often a special and expensive occasion. Resorting to rude or threatening behavior, though, is not going make much progress. “That one person at the table that becomes extremely irate literally ruins the entire experience for the whole table,” Smith says. “It’s almost like a selfish act that you had to go to
that level and ruin not only maybe your day, but even that of the people around you.” And think twice too before stiffing your server to make yourself feel better—at least not before you say something first. “Unless a server is rude to you, in all likelihood, if something didn’t go the right way, it’s not their fault,” Uhr says. For starters, a number of restaurants pool tips, which means your actions could affect otherwise helpful staff. Keep in mind that there are so many people involved in a meal that could be responsible for errors—from bartenders to cooks to dishwashers. Finally, resist the urge to lodge a complaint on Yelp, OpenTable, or another online forum without attempting to resolve the problem. Firing off a complaint from your table or once back home is easy and avoids confrontation, but managers agree that amplifying the problem on social media is one of the biggest don’ts when it comes to complaining at restaurants. “That’s kind of a modern day worst-case CP scenario,” Hollis says. Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to jsidman@washingtoncitypaper.com.
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 21
DCFEED
what we ate last week:
Roasted duck breast, polenta, swiss chard, and cherry jus, $30 at Le Diplomate. Satisfaction level: 4 out of 5 what we’ll eat next week:
Squash blossoms with smoked provolone and romesco, $12 at Garrison. Excitement level: 4 out of 5
Grazer
Dino-Bites Old Ebbitt Grill
WaGShal’S dElicatESSEn
Famous patrons: Several U.S. presidents including Theodore Roosevelt and Andrew Johnson Famous event: Roosevelt is said to have bagged the animal heads displayed at the restaurant Longest-running menu item: Liver and onions
Famous patrons: Presidents Harry S. Truman, Richard Nixon, and Gerald Ford, which earned Wagshal’s its “president’s deli” nickname Famous event: The deli won a Supreme Court case over a labor dispute in 1948.
EstablishEd 1925
EstablishEd 1856
1850
Longest-running menu item: #300, a baked Smithfield ham, turkey, and swiss cheese sandwich
Photographs by Freddy Rodriguez
San Francisco-based Tadich Grill, the third oldest restaurant in the United States, is scheduled to open its second location on Oct. 7, here in D.C. But the District doesn’t need to import history: It’s already home to a few eateries that have been in operation for more than 100 years. Here’s the history behind some of the oldest restaurants the District has to offer. —Freddy Rodriguez
1935
OccidEntal Grill & SEafOOd EstablishEd 1906
Are you gonnA eAt that?
Famous patrons: Washington Senators players Famous event: In the ’60s, a counselor of the Soviet embassy handed over papers to an American reporter. The papers led to the end of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Longest-running menu item: A new menu was introduced when the restaurant reopened in 2007.
The Dish: Lengua de pato (duck tongue) Where to Get It: China Chilcano, 418 7th St. NW; (202) 783-0941; chinachilano.com Price: $6
Martin’S tavErn EstablishEd 1933
Famous patrons: Every U.S. president from Harry Truman to George W. Bush; President Obama has yet to visit Famous event: President John F. Kennedy reportedly proposed to Jacqueline Bouvier at Martin’s Longest-running menu item: The restaurant still offers several
What It Is: The José Andrés restaurant first peels and poaches each duck tongue before marinating it in a mixture of Peruvian aji panca chile pepper and olive oil. It is then skewered with Cape gooseberries and brushed with a sauce of cilantro, onions, and chilies. It’s cooked and served with a chimichurri sauce and roasted potatoes. What It Tastes Like: The dish tastes less “out there” than it sounds. The duck tongue has a subtle fatty flavor with a tender texture similar to that of a mussel or a clam. The meat takes on smoky and citrus flavors from the smoky aji panca chile and chimichurri,
22 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
options from its 1935 menu, including Welsh rarebit.
which pairs well with the tangy pop of the Cape gooseberry. The Story: China Chilcano’s menu pays tribute to traditional Peruvian dishes as well as those influenced by the country’s Chinese and Japanese immigrants. The lengua de pato is served as traditional anticucho, a grilled and skewered meat dish that’s a popular street food in Peru. Other common iterations are made with proteins like beef heart or chicken. The dish takes several hours to prepare to make it tender enough to eat. —Travis Mitchell
brew in town The Brewer’s Art Choptank’d Saison Where in Town: Whole Foods Market, 4530 40th St. NW Price: $2.50/12 oz A Taste of Summer As much as I appreciate the change of seasons, this week I caught myself wanting to hold on to fun and sun just a little longer. My solution? Beer, of course. An easy but not so economical strategy was to pick through the singles at Whole Foods in Tenleytown, where loose 12-ounce cans and bottles range from around $2 to $4 each, enabling me to score a few last sips of summer without committing to an entire six-pack of the same beer. My mixed-sixer included solid sunshine brews like Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin IPA, Union Old Pro Gose, and the Brewer’s Art Choptank’d Saison. A Pearl in (Almost) Every Sip The last of these is a four-percent-alcohol saison first released in June 2014 for several beer bars in Cambridge, a city on the Eastern Shore’s Choptank River, where spending a day fishing and crabbing with good beer is referred to as getting “Choptanked.” Banana and ripe peach aromas give way to flavors of bubble gum, grapefruit rind, and, most distinctly, honeysuckle flowers, which are added to the brew. The sweet, fruity character of Belgian yeast permeates throughout. Choptank’d finishes dry with a peppery aftertaste thanks to the use of rye. My only complaint is that the beer loses carbonation quickly, and as a result, diminishes in body rapidly as it sits. But overall, Choptank’d displays impressive depth for such a low-alcohol beer. Seek out the last of this year’s batch now, or if you’ve moved on to chilly weather brews, look forward to more Choptank’d (and sunshine) next summer. —Tammy Tuck
THE FINEST PRIME STEAKS • THE FRESHEST SEAFOOD LIVE ENTERTAINMENT 7 NIGHTS A WEEK PRIVATE DINING AVAILABLE
WASHINGTON, D.C. PENN QUARTER 600 13th Street N.W. Washington, D.C. 20005 202-347-1500
ADDITIONAL LOCATIONS: BEVERLY HILLS, CA MALIBU, CA NEWPORT BEACH, CA COSTA MESA, CA THOUSAND OAKS, CA PALM DESERT, CA CHICAGO, IL LAS VEGAS, NV 3 Locations in SCOTTSDALE, AZ NEW YORK, NY
www.MastrosRestaurants.com MastrosRestaurants •
@MastrosOfficial
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 23
IN THE TERRACE THEATER
1 Alon Nechushtan
9 & 10 Robert J. Priore’s Speak Easy
16 Samora Pinderhughes Ensemble
8 From Folk Art to Concert Halls *
This multimedia journey from Norway to America moves from folk music and classical repertoire to opera and contemporary material, including three world premieres. Presented in collaboration with the Embassy of Norway.
9 &10 Local Dance Commissioning
Project: Robert J. Priore
Priore and his company of eight dancers, three vocalists, three musicians, and one videographer, take the audience on a journey through love in all its colors in the new work Speak Easy.
11 Frog Hammer
#MSTAGE365
OCTOBER IN THE TERRACE THEATER
1 Alon Nechushtan Ensemble
featuring Todd Marcus*
The group blends music of the Middle East and its rich influence over jazz musicians in Strayhorn Revisited: A Middle Eastern Odyssey of Rhythm, Harmony, & Groove.
2 NSO Prelude
Members of the National Symphony Orchestra play Haydn’s “Sunrise” String Quartet and Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 12.
3 José-Luis Orozco
The educator, children’s author, recording artist, and guitarist has dedicated his life to creating quality bilingual music, books, and videos for children.
4 Zedashe Ensemble
The vocal and dance group from Sighnaghi, Georgia (Caucasus), combines unique musical and dance techniques and traditions.
5 Boys and Girls Club of
Greater Washington
Local youth perform in Icon 15, an event to showcase their talents on stage and receive awards and academic scholarships.
6 &7 Local Dance Commissioning
Project: Chandini Darby
The dancer/choreographer presents The Stories That Bind Us, her new work inspired by her maternal grandmother, who lost her husband tragically and raised four young children on her own.
The band combines traditional and original tunes with a modern, infectious, and high-energy style. Free dance lessons with Janine Smith starting at 5 p.m.
12 KennedyCenterOperaHouseOrchestra
Members of the KCOHO play Ravel’s Sonata for Violin and Piano and Brahms’s Clarinet Quintet in B minor.
13
James A. Johnson Young Artist Series: A Night of Word and Song: Celebrating Youth Voices
Exemplary local youth perform in an evening of vocal music and spoken word.
20 Allyson Currin’s The Return to Latin
The comedy explores the small humiliations embedded in women’s journeys as they age and the very real fear that, in middle age, a woman’s “chance” might have passed her by. Part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival.
21 Mary-Victoria Voutsas and the A CD release party, the concert features solo piano repertoire and collaborative popular songs written by Oscar®-winning composer Manos Hadjidakis.
The group performs Billy Strayhorn: The Sutherland Hotel Period, which harkens back to a hotel stay and train ride in 1941 when he wrote some of the greatest jazz compositions of all time.
The piano duo has developed a new approach to contemporary classical music that combines classical elegance, jazz freedom, and rock ‘n’ roll power.
IN THE FAMILY THEATER
18 Comedy at the Kennedy Center:
Seaton Smith*
The comedian and actor, who made his television debut as Motif on FOX’s Mulaney and, soon after, had a breakout performance on Late Night with Seth Meyers, got his start in D.C. William Troxler opens.
DAILY FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS 5–6 P.M. NIGHTLY • GRAND FOYER BARS FREE TOURS
are given daily by the Friends of the Kennedy Center tour guides. Tour hours: M–F, 10 a.m.–5 p.m., and Sa./Su. from 10 a.m.–1 p.m. For information, call (202) 416-8340.
PLEASE NOTE: There is no free parking for free performances.
24 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
28 Theatre Viola
In Endele Vendele, journey to the magical world of Czech fairytales, nursery rhymes, poems, folk songs, and games—and best of all, you can learn to sing like a bird. For age 5+
24 Quetzales Mexican Dance Ensemble
The group is Northern Virginia’s premier Mexican folkloric performing company.
29 Washington National Opera:
22 MOVEIUS Contemporary Ballet
The Montgomery County, Maryland–based company presents an evening of mixed repertory works by director Diana Movius and other local and regional choreographers.
Kids Euro Festival 2015
October 23–November 8, Europe comes to Washington for the eighth annual celebration of European arts and culture for kids in cooperation with the European-American Cultural Foundation and the 28 participating member states of the European Union.
23 IssaSonus Ensemble
In the musical story Ogygia’s Nymph, members of the ensemble explore the tale that has been made famous by Homer’s epic poem, The Odyssey. For age 8+
Part of the East River Jazz Series.
17 LP Duo
Presented in cooperation with the Embassy of the Slovak Republic.
Presented in collaboration with the Embassy of Greece.
The Center’s own ballet company dances two sections from Balanchine’s Don Quixote, as well as excerpts from the company’s upcoming performances in the Opera House (Oct. 30–Nov. 1).
16 Samora Pinderhughes Ensemble
The zany duo present a puppet show that takes audiences to a haunted castle, a concert hall, and a carnival! At each stop, something mysterious will happen—and only the cleverest kids can solve the mystery. For age 6+
Presented in cooperation with the Embassy of the Czech Republic.
Greek Chamber Music Project
15 The Suzanne Farrell Ballet
FOR DETAILS OR TO WATCH ONLINE, VISIT KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG/MILLENNIUM.
*Unless noted otherwise
Each song performed by the Virginia group is intended to inspire and encourage the heart and soul of the listener.
House Orchestra
Members of the KCOHO play Rebecca Clarke’s Prelude, Allegro, and Pastorale for B-flat Clarinet and Viola, Mendelssohn’s Concert Piece No. 2, and Schumann’s Piano Trio No. 3.
27 Elá and Hop
Church Recording Choir of Dumfries
14 Kennedy Center Opera
This program contains mature themes and strong language. This program will be streamed live but will not be archived.
EVERY DAY AT 6 P.M. NO TICKETS REQUIRED*
19 The First Mount Zion Baptist
Presented in cooperation with the Embassy of Malta.
25
Appomattox Preview
Members of the WNO Domingo-Cafritz Young Artist Program perform songs and readings from both the Civil War and Civil Rights Era, and an excerpt from the acclaimed opera to be performed in the Opera House November 14–22.
30 Go-Go Music
Hear a rousing set by a go-go band of D.C.-area musicians. Following the ticketed performance of Ronald K. Brown/EVIDENCE with Jason Moran and The Bandwagon in the Eisenhower Theater, come back for more go-go, late-night dancing, and cocktails for purchase.
IN THE TERRACE THEATER
31 Scary League: A Story League
Halloween at the Kennedy Center! *
Family Night: Pazzi Lazzi
In Aria di Commedia, time-travel all the way back to the year 1593—an age known as The Renaissance— to be entertained by a zany troupe of commedia dell’arte actors and musicians. For age 4+
Story League, the “Nation’s Capital of Funny Stories,” presents a costumed comedy-story show with magical tricks, treats, and surprises. This program contains mature themes and strong language.
Presented in cooperation with the Embassy of Italy.
26 Atofri Theatre
*
In the award-winning Mr. Satie – Made in Paper, witness magical images created in a paper setdesign inspired by famous French composer Erik Satie’s melodies. For age 1+
Free general admission tickets will be distributed in the States Gallery (Family Theater lobby on 10/18) starting at approximately 5:30 p.m., up to 2 tickets per person.
Presented in cooperation with the Embassy of Poland.
TAKE METRO to the Foggy Bottom/
GWU station and ride the free Kennedy Center shuttle departing every 15 minutes until midnight.
GET CONNECTED!
Become a fan of KCMillenniumStage on Facebook and check out artist photos, upcoming events, and more! The Kennedy Center welcomes persons with disabilities.
ALL PERFORMANCES AND PROGRAMS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE.
The Millennium Stage was created and underwritten by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs to make the performing arts accessible to everyone in fulfillment of the Kennedy Center’s mission to its community and the nation. Additional funding for the Millennium Stage is provided by The Isadore and Bertha Gudelsky Family Foundation, Inc., The Meredith Foundation, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Dr. Deborah Rose and Dr. Jan A.J. Stolwijk, U.S. Department of Education, and the Millennium Stage Endowment Fund. The Millennium Stage Endowment Fund was made possible by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs, Fannie Mae Foundation, James V. Kimsey, Gilbert† and Jaylee† Mead, Mortgage Bankers Association of America and other anonymous gifts to secure the future of the Millennium Stage. Kennedy Center education and related artistic programming is also made possible through the generosity of the National Committee for the Performing Arts and the President’s Advisory Committee on the Arts.
CPARTS
Paul Reed, the last living painter of the Washington Color School, dies at age 96. washingtoncitypaper.com/go/paulreed
Galleries
Worlds Apart
Two artists plumb the depths of cultural and national histories, but their efforts produce radically different results. “Renée Stout: Wild World” At Hemphill Fine Arts to Dec. 19 “Expedition Journals: United States of America, Vol. 1” At Civilian Art Projects to Oct. 24 By Kriston Capps Renée Stout is yet again radically reinventing herself. Over the course of her career, the sculptor has invented whole new identities with which to create her voodoo art: a rootworker named Dorothy; a mystic named Madame Ching; an herbalist named Fatima Mayfield. Her work has always drawn deeply from the Caribbean corner of the African diaspora, even as she herself has flitted from one persona to another, forward and backward through time and across continents. Her latest exhibition at Hemphill Fine Arts takes the viewer to what might be an alternate dimension entirely. “Wild World,” the artist’s fifth solo show at Hemphill, envisions a steampunk universe that—bear with me—has nothing to do with Jules Verne, H.G. Wells, polished brass, or even Europe for that matter. Stout’s found a portal to a place that blends hoodoo and Santería with gadgets and gizmos. A mixed-media sculpture called “Crossroads Transmitter” summons a vision of a creole Nikola Tesla. It’s easy to imagine one of Stout’s characters, her Lady Fatima, hunched over this “Erzulie” by Renée Stout (2015) device, working various knobs to tune into other-worldly frequencies. This piece and others—“Spirit Se- the piece is both familiar and strange, a testament to Stout’s lector,” “Haunted Machine,” “Spirit Detector”—look like craft. “Soul Catcher/Regenerator” reverberates across epold-timey radios, complete with loop antennae, analog me- ochs. The piece is a nod to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and ters, and glass tubes. Many of these are found parts; Stout is the birth of genre; yet the figures also resemble a kind of Afa magpie, a collector. But the works are unmistakably sculp- ro-goth C-3PO and R2-D2. Threepio himself is an anachtural, not merely vintage. ronistic amalgamation, a fussy clockwork butler built in the “Soul Catcher/Regenerator” is a nightstand-sized con- mold of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis—but nevermind him. The traption paired with some kind of mannequin in a cage. point is that Stout’s work, and especially “Soul Catcher/ReMade to look as if it were discovered in an auntie’s attic, generator,” teases at a universe as immersive as Star Wars,
but one infused with the energy of tropicalia from Brazil or Négritude from France. Stout’s work is plenty contemporary, too. In most of her shows, she’s explored her fascination with botánicas, usually by displaying the artifacts that they sell: bottles of herbs, minerals, and teeth for spells, for example, or candles with different mystical properties. (After nearly 20 years, Adams Morgan’s Botánica Yemaya & Chango closed in April 2014.) This time, for “Wild World,” Stout offers several paintings of the neon signs that typically grace these spiritual sundry shops—and they work like edgy Pop Art exercises. “High John Root” and “Readings” might be Stout’s take on Ed Ruscha or Andy Warhol. Meanwhile, a wall assembly of voodoo-tech (“Lay Your Hands on the Radio”) summons the spirit of Louise Nevelson to the viewer’s side, like a sculptural séance. There’s a lot to look at in “Wild World,” and that’s the show’s one big drawback: Fewer things might make Stout’s vision more mysterious, and more urgent. Works like “The Pearl Gourd” (an echo of Martin Puryear’s “Old Mole,” maybe) have a place in some show—many shows—but not this show. An editor might strike a half-dozen collages and paintings, plus a sculpture or two. One piece that stays is “Crossroads Diagram,” an unexpected drawing for Stout: precise, geometric, artificial-looking. The drawing seems to indicate that there are limits to the world of man. For all its precision and possibility, a machine is a clunky tool for fetching souls. Diaspora histories are often unofficial, told through tradition. Somehow, Stout manages to convey a sense of oral history through a few careful objects. It’s not just that these summoning devices look old and lost and weathered. It looks like their users operated under the cover of darkness, in servant quarters, far from watchful eyes; working with a mix of dread and love, fear and hope, for what might happen; blending root magic with Western industry, a corruption, no, a necessity—I get carried away. This show gives me goose bumps. washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 25
CPARTS Continued
Robert Caro starts The Years of Lyndon Johnson, his multi-volume and as-yet-unfinished biography of the president, deep in the bowels of the earth. The Path to Power —book one of Caro’s truly luminous project—begins with an exploration of the geologic forces that forged the Texas Hill Country, the very lands that gave rise to LBJ eons later. You have to start somewhere. That’s problem No. 1 with Noelle K. Tan’s “Expedition Journals: United States of America, Vol. 1,” a project as ambitious as the title suggests. The photographer’s fifth show with Civilian Art Projects sounds like it aims to be the first of several dozen. Her exhibit even references the Encyclopédie, a compilation of all Enlightenment knowledge edited by Denis Diderot and Jean le Rond d’Alembert in the late 18th century—to the tune of 28 volumes and more than 70,000 articles. “History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies,” said Alexis de Tocqueville, another observer who set out to write the book on America. (He at least had the advantage of actually being here near the beginning.) Tan’s work, instead, takes on America all at once—and the result is something that might make these French grands messieurs blush. Through a dozen photographs, the artist examines the Civil War, the Gold Rush, the Manhattan Project, and the Interstate Highway System—a wildly indiscriminate selection of scenes
26 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
“Bureau of Indian Affairs” by Noelle K. Tan (2015) from American history. Tan stitches together several photos in each print, painstakingly building her images using negatives taken during her travels. Apparently the themes of history, poetry, and philosophy govern her crytpic, collage-like prints: the same taxonomy of knowledge that Diderot et al. borrowed from Francis Bacon’s The Advancement of Learning.
“Expedition Journals” is a confusing, contrary, even baffling exhibit. With her photos, Tan strives to make a historical point, not an aesthetic one, so the compositions are careless. That might be fine for something more photojournalistic or conceptual. Yet any straightforward statement these photos might offer up about history is rendered illegible by Tan’s highly deliberate printing process—which means the composition matters after all. There are some exceptions that work well, namely “Frontier Towns” and “Westward Expansion,” but these successful compositions seem to be happy accidents of a process focused on producing something else. As ever, Tan’s printing process is articulate and outstanding. She has a mastery of darkroom processes and manipulation that is unrivaled among photographers showing in D.C.; I think it would be fair to say that she makes her work using the darkroom, not the camera. In the past, she has produced haunting silver gelatin prints in which almost every detail falls away, save for one or two—the outline of a shed or a wisp of smoke. “Drawings,” she calls these. Some of that touch is on view in the tea-stained photos of “Expedition Journals,” but these sepia grace notes and washes can’t save the reckless compositions. There’s no roadmap for “Expedition Journals,” no sense of where Tan is going or where she’s coming from, but she seems to have a highly structured, linear, encyclopedic experience in mind for the viewer, who winds up lost somewhere in the middle of... something. It’s a problem for Tan, too: How can she square so much structure with her abundant love of the West, the frontier, the winding road, the desert plain? It’s clear she loves the open country, not exhaustive French librarians. Here’s hoping CP she finds a way to express it again. 1515 14th St. NW #300. Free. (202) 234-5601. hemphillfinearts.com 4718 14th St. NW. Free. civilianartprojects.com
CPARTS
Check out Coming From The Bottom, experimental hip-hop group the Cornel West Theory’s first new album in four years. washingtoncitypaper.com/go/cornelwesttheory
Arts Desk
Casting CounCil Winona Ryder as Elissa Silverman
When actress Joy Bryant posted a picture of herself in costume as D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton for the new Amazon pilot Good Girls Revolt on Instagram last week, it got us thinking: which other Hollywood stars should portray D.C. political figures? Rumors have circulated that Eddie Murphy considered playing the late Marion Barry, but who could play Phil Mendelson and company with the appropriate balance of comedy and drama that’s practically guaranteed at every meeting? Below are —Caroline Jones our ideas for the 13 current councilmembers, meant purely in jest.
Donal Logue as David Grosso
Lupita Nyong’o as LaRuby May
Anne Hathaway as Brianne Nadeau
Michael B. Jordan as Brandon Todd
Mary Alice as Anita Bonds
Terrence Howard as Vincent Orange Colin Hanks as Charles Allen
Yvette Nicole Brown as Yvette Alexander Photos clockwise from top left: PM - Il Piccolo Missionario, Flickr Creative Commons; Dominick D, Flickr CC; Gordon Correll, Flickr CC; Red Carpet Report on Mingle Media TV, Flickr CC; Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia Commons; Alan Light, Wikimedia; Nan Palmero, Flickr CC; Handout photo via PBS; Ole Haug, Flickr CC; Gordon Correll, Flickr CC; Matthew G. Boyer, Flickr CC; Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia; Gordon Correll, Flickr CC.
Sally Field as Mary Cheh Ryan Stiles as Jack Evans
Ed Harris as Phil Mendelson
Denzel Washington as Kenyan McDuffie
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 27
TheaTerCurtain Calls
About 10 minutes before texts&beheadings/ElizabethR made its world premiere on the Folger Theatre’s stage, the first queen appeared. She sat, scowling in a gown that read more McQueen than Elizabethan, bringing a hush over the audience. A brief while later the second queen emerged, followed by a third and a fourth, all equally solemn and seated in identical thrones. The four Elizabeth I’s of Karin Coonrod’s one-hour play—assembled from the English queen’s own letters, prayers, and speeches as well as other source documents and original (sometimes very contemporary) dialogue— each take turns in the spotlight while the others serve as a kind of Greek chorus. The work is frenetic, bouncing from monologues to elegiac songs to frenzied “games” that see the four actresses climb on chairs, remove their shoes, and lay prostrate on the stage floor. That last item seems most appropriate for a piece with a name like texts&beheadings/ElizabethR, but the work is hardly modernized. You won’t see any of the Elizabeths using a smartphone. The play is broken down into four movements that cover Elizabeth rejecting her suitors; contemplating in the Tower her possible death at the hands of her sister Mary; praying as an aging queen; rallying her troops (“I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too”); grappling with the beheadings of her mother and stepmothers; and preparing to deliver her Golden Speech. The lack of a chronology can make the play a bit confusing for those not familiar with The Virgin Queen (especially a section on lesser-known allegations of sexual abuse at the hands of Thomas Seymour), and the energy wanes when the women break the fourth wall to chattily set the scene. But these moments pass quickly, giving way to some beautiful aural and visual moments, like when the four queens sing in lightly accompanied harmony. Coonrod wisely uses the historic material— some of which she pulled from Folger’s own library—for more than just straight recitation. Some of the most vile and ridiculous anti-Elizabeth propaganda is deployed for comic effect, with the actresses literally throwing each insult into the front row; the reading of a wardrobe account as three of the actresses pantomime dressing a stone-faced fourth acutely visualizes the actual weight Elizabeth physically carried as a queen (by the second set of sleeves, my arms felt claustrophobic). As the Elizabeths, Monique Barbee, Ayeje Feamster, Juliana Francis-Kelly, and Cris-
Handout photo by C. Stanley Photography
texts&beheadings/ElizabethR Created and directed by Karin Coonrod At Folger Theatre to Oct. 4
lo family and the latter sent home with a poor farmer and his wife. Wacky hijinks reunite the now-grown girls, who become best friends and together encounter a whirlwind of mistaken identities, incestuous affairs, attempted murders, and spectacular musical numbers. It’s the musical numbers that really showcase one of Destiny of Desire’s greatest assets: its ensemble cast. America and Saldaña do well balancing camp with genuine pathos. Oscar Ceville is hilarious in a number of roles, including the lecherous heart surgeon Dr. Jorge Ramiro Mendoza. The most memorable performances, though, are by Gabriela Fernandez-Coffey, as Fabiola the gold digger with a heart of dirt, and Marian Licha as Sister Sonia, the nun who will stop at nothing to set things right. FernandezThis entry in the Women’s Voices Theater Festival won’t rewrite The Virgin Coffey has clearly done her research, nailing the Queen’s well-tread history, but it will pull audiences in. wild-eyed stare of a telenovela diva like Fabiola. Licha brings the calm, unsettling confidence of a womtina Spina gamely take on the multiple roles an hell bent on revenge, which of actress, narrator, singer, dancer, and stage is a thrill to watch. hand. The play doesn’t bother with British acWhile familiarity with telecents—in fact, Italian actress Spina does nothnovelas is by no means reing to conceal hers. The casting of Feamster, quired, it certainly helps one an African-American actress, goes even furappreciate Julie Weiss’ shockther in presenting Elizabeth as a multifacetingly dead-on costumes. Fabied woman. The four women make their own ola’s every over-the-top outfit Elizabeth—soft and sad, defiant and paranoid, will have you begging for anyoung and intense, religious and mournful— other costume change—veand enhance it with their own gifts (Barbee in lour, feathers, and rhinestones, particular has a lovely voice). oh my!—but Weiss’ real genius Elizabeth I has been the subject of numerous is evident in how she dresses books, operas, TV shows, and films, many of the ensemble. The telenovela which focus on her complicated romance with costume deals in stereotype: If Robert Dudley. texts&beheadings/ElizabethR, you’re good, you wear white; presented as part of the Women’s Voices The- Even if you’re not remotely familiar with the conif you’re bad, you wear leopater Festival, touches on that relationship, but ventions of telenovelas, Destiny of Desire will turn ard print; if you’re a farmabove all, it attempts to convince the audience you into a fan. er, you wear a bandana. Weiss of Elizabeth’s supreme intellect, fierce independence, and bravery in the face of death—all in ting in the front row, and one of the younger ac- nails the distinctive telenovela look. If there is one hiccup in Destiny of Desire, it is 60 minutes. In that short amount of time, Coon- tresses knelt in the aisle so an older woman could rod isn’t radically changing people’s perception zip up her nun costume. Taking a cue from last the metatheatrical candy coating that surrounds of a woman who has been scrutinized for the season’s stunning Passion Play at Forum, direc- its light, sugary center. Zacarías and Valenzuela past 480 years. Instead, texts&beheadings/Eliz- tor José Luis Valenzuela is working to create a have designed a Brechtian landscape for this silabethR packages and presents Elizabeth’s words sense of connection between cast and audience ly telenovela, which often intrudes on the play’s trajectory. Throughout, the action halts for a in as many ways as it can to immerse the audi- even before the house lights start to dim. That sense of community and shared cul- musical or dance number, which is a delightence in her life. If you can stop flinching at the ful complement to the play’s overdramatic acsound of a blade whooshing toward a doomed ture becomes important for this staging of neck—a sound cue that regularly punctuates Karen Zacarías’ smart spoof of Latin Ameri- tion. But other moments of interruption don’t can telenovelas. If you haven’t grown up famil- work—an actor quoting a disheartening statistic the play’s vignettes—Coonrod’s done her job. —Sarah Anne Hughes iar with this particular flavor of soap opera’s or chastising a member of the ensemble for perdramatic close-ups and constant wails of “¡Ay, forming the wrong action, for example. 201 East Capitol St. SE. $35. (202) 544-7077. dios mío!,” there is the threat of feeling isolatBy its final musical number and dance sefolger.edu. ed from the piece. Luckily, with Zacarías’ ac- quence, it is likely that Destiny of Desire will cessible writing and Valenzuela’s loving direc- have you on your feet, swaying to a salsa tion, Destiny of Desire will be love at first sight rhythm. Like the medium it mocks, Destifor almost anyone. ny of Desire will draw you in with its heightLike any good telenovela, the plot of Des- ened emotions and larger-than-life characDestiny of Desire tiny of Desire has so many twists that writing ters. One of the play’s many interjections By Karen Zacarías them out would do a prospective viewer more informs that the telenovela is the most popuDirected by José Luis Valenzuela harm than good. Suffice it to say that the play is lar form of entertainment on the planet. AfAt Arena Stage Kreeger Theater to Oct. 18 a riff on Mark Twain’s novel The Prince and the ter leaving Arena’s Kreeger Theater, you will —Jonelle Walker Pauper: Beautiful young ingénues Pilar Castil- understand why. Before Arena’s season opener Destiny lo (Esperanza America) and Victoria del Rio of Desire begins, theatergoers and cast members (Elia Saldaña) are switched at birth—the for- 1101 6th St. SW. $50–$90. (202) 488-3300. mingle—actors start conversations with folks sit- mer adopted by the ludicrously wealthy Castil- arenastage.org. Handout photo byTeresa Wood
Speak for HerSelf
Soap flakeS
28 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 29
FilmShort SubjectS
Prophet’s Prey
Without a Prayer Prophet’s Prey Directed by Amy Berg Prophet’s Prey starts off as a documentary and ends up feeling like a horror story. Amy Berg’s film about Warren Jeffs, the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is a portrait of a loathsome man who, though imprisoned, still maintains power over his flock. His message to his followers: If he’s still locked up, then they aren’t praying hard enough. That, by far, is the least of Jeffs’ manipulations. The film starts out with an animated history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints—more commonly known as the Mormon Church—which the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints broke away from more than a century ago over the original church’s renouncement of polygamy. Warren’s father, Rulon Jeffs, became president of the church in 1986, and remained so until his suspicious death in 2002. Warren had already had influence as a schoolteacher by then (starting as soon as he finished high school at 17) and acted quickly when his father died: Rulon’s dozens of wives were to continue behaving as if he were in the next room, and they were hands-off to the rest of the male congregation. Warren, though, would go on to marry each of them—including the teenagers he forcibly wed to his father before his death—and soon many more, allegedly around 70. Berg (2012’s West of Memphis) lets two men
tell the bulk of the story. Sam Brower is a private investigator and the author of Prophet’s Prey (though he doesn’t share a screenwriting credit with Berg). Into The Wild scribe Jon Krakauer, who also provided commentary in the recent Meru, is the author of Under the Banner of Heaven, an “investigative nonfiction” book that sheds light on both the traditional and the fundamentalist churches. Both Krakauer and Brower have let FLDS become their obsession, with a sense of duty to, if not disband it, at least lead authorities to proof of the church’s many misdeeds. Among those misdeeds are not only polygamy but fraudulent businesses and a generally cultlike atmosphere in which all sense of fun or recreation—from TV to Internet to fishing to pets—is forbidden. And then there’s the rape. Until this point in the film—even when it’s brought to light that Jeffs was molesting children—you’ll shake your head. But it’s when he’s apprehended on charges of rape—technically statutory, though that qualifier isn’t really needed—you’ll want to vomit. Footage exists of some of the court proceedings, including the repugnant photos of Jeffs kissing his child brides. It’s the audio tape, however, of Jeffs raping a 12-year-old (virgin) girl that will really make you put down the popcorn, if not outright leave the theater. Berg’s decision to include this repulsive evidence is controversial—we already know the man is a monster; why drag a specific, and named, girl into the argument? It’s tough to bear witness to, and thankfully it doesn’t go on long. Jeffs is also shown being interviewed while incarcerated (he answers “Fifth Amendment” to most questions). Throughout the film, Berg inserts recordings of his sermons
30 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
that will chill your spine, not necessarily for his “I am God”-like preaching, but merely the sound of his voice—soft, even sleepy, yet mechanical. Remember HAL? Vocal twins. Needless to say, if Berg sought to demonize Jeffs, she does the job well. Krakauer remarks that if he were a religious man, he’d pray for Jeffs’ demise. Instead, he offers what many viewers may already be thinking: “I hope that fucker dies right now.” —Tricia Olszewski Prophet’s Prey opens Friday at the Angelika Pop-Up.
american Scheme 99 Homes Directed by Ramin Bahrani Director Ramin Bahrani is known for his use of non-actors in key roles—his first three films, which includes the acclaimed Man Push Cart, featured almost no professional actors. With his latest, the poignant social drama 99 Homes, Bahrani has now graduated to working with an Oscar nominee (Michael Shannon) and a superhero (Andrew Garfield), but his sensibility hasn’t changed a bit. The filmmaker gets powerful performances from a cast of both professionals and amateurs in service of a story that exposes the fraying social fabric of contemporary America. Home ownership has, for decades, been the crux of the American dream. 99 Homes begins the moment that dream dies for Dennis Nash (Garfield). The out-of-work contractor lives with his son (Noah Lomax) and mother (Lau-
ra Dern) in the Orlando house he grew up in. One day, two cops and a realtor (Shannon as Rick Carver) show up on his doorstep to evict them. It’s a heartbreaking scene; Dennis was under the impression he had a month to appeal his eviction, but the police force him and his family to vacate in just two minutes, while Rick’s workers empty the house onto their front lawn in full view of gawking neighbors. The gut-wrenching sequence sets up Dennis and Rick as polar opposites; Dennis, the evictee, is hyper-emotional, barely containing his mix of anger, sadness, and disillusionment. Rick, meanwhile, is all business, which, in light of the suffering he’s causing, makes him seem something like the devil. And after Dennis and his family move into a hotel, the devil comes calling. Desperate for cash, Dennis agrees to work for Rick, initially just cleaning up foreclosed houses to prepare for sale, but by the film’s halfway point, he’s evicting others out of their homes. It’s a painful job, but it’s the only one a contractor can get in an economy in which no new houses are being built. The arc of the film is notably similar to others that have examined American greed. The closest corollary is probably Wall Street; Rick is a Gordon Gekko-type who makes his living off the suffering of others (he even gets a big speech that feels like a knock-off of Gekko’s “Greed is good” monologue). As expected, Dennis is seduced by Rick’s ability to make money at will, quickly forgetting the only reason he worked with him in the first place was to get his house back. Pretty soon, it’s girls, booze, and cigars, and we know our hero is in for a moral reckoning. Although the story beats are occasionally too predictable, there’s value in taking a cautionary tale we’ve often placed in the financial industry in a new venue. Bahrani shows us the human face of corrupt business dealings, aided by some truly committed actors; though Garfield, at times, embodies a mess of contradictions. As the character adjusts to the hardness of his new lifestyle—carrying a gun, defending himself from angry evictees—Garfield seems to be constantly fighting back tears, hiding a sensitive soul behind a rough-and-tumble exterior. And yet it’s Shannon’s work that feels like the film’s anchor. Unlike Douglas in Wall Street, Shannon gives his character a clear sense of motivation. In one scene, Rick actually explains the circumstances that led to his greedy nature, but it’s unnecessary since his performance shows it. Behind Shannon’s reptilian eyes and his hard, sun-baked exterior is an old, broken skeleton held up by sheer will and determination. It’s a chilling depiction of American avarice as understandable— even justifiable—but nonetheless without any —Noah Gittell hope for redemption. 99 Homes opens Friday at Landmark E Street Cinema.
2015
Fresh Food Market-Tu-Su Arts & Crafts - Weekends easternmarket-dc.org Tu-Fr 7-7 | Sa 7-6 | Su 9-5
OLIVE LOUNGE Daily Specials from 4:30 - close MONDAY $13 Mezza Platters TUESDAY $6 Burgers & Sandwich w/ Fries
W NO ING AY PL
With Us!
-
Olive Lounge
S HA G AY IN PL TH .” IS NO 015 TH KE 2 E, LI IN AT N E M IO AG TI IT T IN B . S er D AM D.C Pap AN D A City C AN PI E ON ton “ E SIZ SE hing EL Was
MIDDLE EASTERN CUISINE
Celebrate
THURSDAY $13 Pitcher of Select Draft & Happy Hour Wing deals all night
CHIMERICA
BY LUCY KIRKWOOD DIRECTED BY DAVID MUSE
US PREMIERE
HAPPY HOUR Monday - Friday 4:30 - 7PM
NOW PLAYING
www.mideastcuisine.net Follow Us on FB and Check Us Out On Yelp
K a t e E a s t w o o d N o rr i s
An epic thriller that tracks two decades of US-China relations as it considers political change, personal responsibility, and lives forever changed by the crosswinds of politics and history.
ANIMAL
7006 Carroll Ave. Takoma Park, MD
301-270-5154
ST UD IO TH EA TR E. OR G
WEDNESDAY $6 Loaded Nachos and $7 Off Any Wine Bottle
OCTOBER 30 – NOVEMBER 1, 2015
WASHINGTON MARRIOTT WARDMAN PARK www.animeusa.org
BY CLARE LIZZIMORE DIRECTED BY GAYE TAYLOR UPCHURCH WORLD PREMIERE SEP 30-OCT 25
2015
A darkly comic play about the underside of domesticity, the complexity of the brain in chaos, and the thin line between sinking and survival.
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 31
TOP PRICES PAID D.C.’s awesomest events calendar.
for your Records (33S or 45S) CD’s or DVD’s
NO COLLECTION TOO SMALL or LARGE WE BUY EVERYTHING!
GalleriesSketcheS
washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar
Call STEVE at 301-646-5403 or e-mail:
washingtoncitypaper.com
stevebuysrecords@gmail.com
CREATING HEALTHY BEAUTIFUL SMILES TO LAST A LIFETIME!
Comprehensive Dental & Orthodontic Care
$
“The Dope Effect Series” by Shaunté Gates (2015)
NEW PATIENT SPECIAL
99 Exam
($304 Value)
Includes Routine Cleaning & X-Rays (4 Btwgs & 2Pas) Not Valid With Periodontal (Gum) Disease (Not Valid With Insurance) One Coupon Per Patient. Not Valid With Any Other Offer. With Coupon Only. Expires 12/31/15.
25% OFF
Dental Services for Patients Without Insurance!
Lost and found “How We Lost DC” At Honfleur Gallery to Oct. 31
Not valid with any other offer. Expires 12/31/15 .
WHITENING
$
FREE
COMPREHENSIVE ORTHODONTIC EXAM & CONSULTATION
3 Washington Circle, NW • Suite 306 1 Block From Foggy Bottom Metro
®
202.775.0167
EVENINGS BY APPOINTMENT
• Dental Check-Ups • Crowns & Bridges • Oral Surgery • Periodontics • Root Canal • Implants Veneers & Lumineers • Digital Computerized X-Rays • Intra-Oral Camera / Video Imaging
450
(Prior Dental Exam Required) One Coupon Per Patient. Not Valid With Any Other Offer. With Coupon Only. Expires 12/31/15.
Dr. A. Shouhayib, Orthodontist H. Chehayeb, D.D.S. V. Simchian, D.D.S.
One Coupon Per Patient. Not Valid With Any Other Offer. With Coupon Only. Expires 12/31/15.
500 OFF INVISALIGN OR 400 OFF FULL BRACES
$
www.kstreetdental.com
®
$
Evening & Saturday Hours By Appointment • Emergency Care • Most Insurances Accepted • Flexible Payment Plans
(Adult & Children) New Patients Only. Not Existing Patients. One Coupon Per Patient. Not Valid With Any Other Offer. With Coupon Only. Expires 12/31/15.
KENNEDY CENTER
Jason Moran, Artistic Director for Jazz
2015–2016 Season
Kurt Rosenwinkel
There are artists who uphold what has already been defined in music and then there are artists who do the defining. Guitarist and composer Kurt Rosenwinkel sits among the trailblazers. Saturday, October 3 at 7 & 9 p.m. KC Jazz Club in the Terrace Gallery
Jeremy Denk and Jason Moran
Musical worlds collide as two pianists at the top of their respective genres face off on the Terrace Theater stage: classical artist Jeremy Denk and Kennedy Center Artistic Director for Jazz Jason Moran. Friday, October 9 at 7 p.m. | Terrace Theater Limited availability
A Family Affair
E.J. and Marcus Strickland
Identical twin brothers E.J. (drummer) and Marcus (saxophonist) Strickland, from Miami, show the power of brotherly love with their acoustic group performing in its Kennedy Center debut.
Saturday, October 10 at 7 & 9 p.m. KC Jazz Club in the Terrace Gallery This performance is made possible through the generous support of The William N. Cafritz Jazz Initiative.
KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.
32 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
WPFW 89.3 FM is a media partner of Kennedy Center Jazz.
At first, entering the gallery space of “How We Lost DC” feels like stumbling upon a kind of accidental time capsule offering a glimpse of present-day D.C. There’s a neon sign advertising that ubiquitous amalgam of Chinese food, subs, and chicken. A set of wall labels is peppered with crowdsourced commentary on life in the city, and a mountain of receipts litters the floor. But this isn’t a time capsule; the floor isn’t littered by neglect. The objects are works by members of the local artist collective Delusions of Grandeur, and while the works certainly offer a message for posterity, their central concern is one of the present: the black experience in a city transformed. It’s fitting that “How We Lost DC” is being shown at Honfleur Gallery in Anacostia, as it’s both a space for discourse and a lightning rod when it comes to gentrification. That dichotomy is at the heart of “How We Lost DC,” where “We” reads as a reference both to the city’s shrinking African-American population and to a more personal sense of loss shared by members of the collective. Indeed, some artists use the theme to turn inward as in Shaunté Gates’ “The Dope Effect Series”—a dystopian and symbol-laden triptych in acrylic and collage, which mines the artist’s childhood in D.C. public housing. In one panel, an adolescent boy teeters on the edge of a wall of cement blocks, his gaze cast down and arms outstretched for balance. The wall forms part of a vast labyrinth, which is identifiable only by the threatening obelisks that sporadically erupt from it—clear allusions to the District’s most recognizable monument. Other artists zoom out to consider broader implications of displacement and alienation. In two rich and balanced compositions, Jamea Richmond-Edwards employs ink, feathers, and colorful patterned paper to depict monumental female figures. The allegorical women hover within expressionistic night skies and cast knowing gazes at the viewer, representing both trauma induced by and strength derived from being
spiritually adrift—a status the artist ascribes to African-American identity. Delusions of Grandeur—a group founded in 2011 by Gates, Richmond-Edwards, and Amber Robles-Gordon—has since grown to include six artists who work in diverse styles and mediums. Its name refers to the “delusion” its founders say is necessary to embark on a career as an artist, particularly as an artist of color. Within the context of “How We Lost DC,” it’s impossible not to also associate that delusion with the promise of American cities. It’s a promise that, for many living in them, goes unfulfilled. Such aspirations are at the center of Larry Cook’s affecting installation “Black Economics,” which delivers the strongest conceptual punch of the exhibition. Hundreds of failed scratch-offs, lotto tickets, and receipts rest in piles on the floor and on a counter. A broom leans against the wall, as if recently abandoned by a custodian. The scene lends physical weight to the lived experience of poverty and the systems that perpetuate it. Wesley Clark also locates his visual vocabulary in the mundane. In his sculptures, sports and games become metaphors for the antagonistic relationship between gentrifier and gentrified. For one set of works, Clark paints maps of D.C. onto pieces of wood, coats them in resin, and overlays the pieces with football playbook notations. The shorthand, comprised of circles, rectangles, Xs, and arrows, ostensibly depicts patterns of migration within the city (most arrows point west to east). Ultimately, “How We Lost DC” reads more hypothetical than elegiac. The exhibition leaves room for action by challenging the conscientiousness of new arrivals (“What’s your neighbor’s name?” asks one of artist Stan Squirewell’s commentary labels) and by invoking the strength of the African-American community in the face of trauma. At a moment when the shape of our cities and many Americans’ civil rights feels particularly unstable, the artists of Delusions of Grandeur seem to suggest that the rules of the game can still be rewritten. —Beth Shook 1241 Good Hope Road SE. Free. (202) 365-8392. honfleurgallery.com.
RobeRt e. PaRilla PeRfoRming aRts CenteR 2015-2016 College Performing arts
goDsPell
COMPETITION ROOMS
Conceived and originally directed by JoHn-miCHael tebelaK music and new lyrics by stePHen sCHWaRtZ
originally produced on the new York stage by eDgaR lanDsbURY/stUaRt DUnCan/JosePH beRUH
CORPORATE TEAM BUILDING
october 7-10, 2015, 8pm october 11, 2015, 2pm
DuPont Circle
Tickets are $10 Regular, $8 Seniors & $5 Students w/ ID
Teams of 2 up to 35
with one goal - getting out!
Montgomery College • 51 Mannakee St., Rockville, Maryland 20850 www.montgomerycollege.edu/pac • Box Office: 240-567-5301
WASHINGTON CITY PAPER GREAT PERFORMANCES College Perfomring Arts Series GoDSpell
AT MASON
VISIT US AT CFA.GMU.EDU
Please run in the September 24th, October 1st and 8th edition Call Angie Lockhart with any questions.
RIOULT Dance NY FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9 AT 8 P.M. Over more than two decades this exquisite ensemble has established a sterling reputation for blending breathtakingly beautiful movement with luminous symphonic works by Bach, Ravel, Stravinsky, and Mozart, creating contemporary dance that is truly sublime. They enchanted our audience three seasons ago, and we are very pleased to have them return, this time with an all-Bach program that includes such aweinspiring works as Views of the Fleeting World, City, Polymorphous, and Celestial Tides. $48, $41, $29
Angie Lockhart Turtle Island Quartet The National Circus and Publicist with special guest Cyrus Chestnut Acrobats of the People’s Robert E. Parilla Performing Arts Center Jelly, Rags, & Monk Montgomery College Republic of China SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10 AT 8 P.M. 51 Mannakee Street Peking Dreams Ragtime meets the string quartet for a lively journey through the history of ragtime music in a genre-crossing concertMD revealing the Rockville, 20850 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16 AT 8 P.M. sweet, soulful connections between the two. Grammy AwardSATURDAY, OCTOBER 17 AT 2 P.M. AND 8 P.M. phonewith 240-567-7538 winning Turtle Island Quartet collaborates acclaimed Experience spectacular Chinese circus, acrobatics, and Peking Opera jazz pianist Cyrus Chestnut to explore music from its faxragtime 240-567-7542 all together! You’ll marvel at the unparalleled grace and the agility,
beginnings with the music of Jelly Roll Morton and Scott Joplin to the modern genius of Thelonious Monk. $48, $41, $29
flexibility, and athleticism of these highly trained artists. With traditional Chinese music, elaborate props, and brightly colored costumes and makeup, it’s a production for all generations! $50, $43, $30 ff
ff = Family Friendly performances that are most suitable for families with younger children
TICKETS
888-945-2468 OR CFA.GMU.EDU
Located on the Fairfax campus, six miles west of Beltway exit 54 at the intersection of Braddock Road and Rt. 123. washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 33
34 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
INER
60S-INSPIRED D Serving
EVERYTHING from BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES
HAPPY HOUR:
$2 Tuesday $3 Thursday $4 Friday (ALL DRAFTS AND RAIL)
BRING YOUR TICKET AFTER ANY SHOW AT
CITYLIST Music
Friday Rock Rock & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Four Year Strong, Defeater, Superheaven, My Iron Lung. 6:30 p.m. $17–$20. rockandrollhoteldc.com.
Funk & R&B Blues Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Rachelle Ferrell. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $60. bluesalley.com. liv NigHtcluB 2001 11th St. NW. (202) 505-4548. Backbeat Underground. 9 p.m. $8. livdc.com.
ElEctRonic u stReet Music HAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Kenny Dope, Prosumer. 10 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.
Jazz tHe HAMiltoN 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Lee Ritenour. 8:30 p.m. $27–$40. thehamiltondc.com. keNNedy ceNteR teRRAce gAlleRy 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Jimmy Cobb Trio. 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. $26–$30. kennedy-center.org.
BluEs Zoo BAR 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Still Standing. 9 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.
classical
Club
TO GET A
FREE SHOT!
keNNedy ceNteR coNceRt HAll 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Donald Runnicles, conductor; Olga Peretyatko, soprano. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.
saturday Rock
9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Built To Spill, Helvetia, Clarke and the Himselfs. 8 p.m. $25. 930.com. BiRcHMeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Hiroshima. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. coMet PiNg PoNg 5037 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 364-0404. Ought, BRNDA. 10 p.m. $12. cometpingpong.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Maritime, Wedding Dress. 8 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.
2047 9th Street NW located next door to 9:30 club
ecHostAge 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. J Balvin, Becky G. 8 p.m. $36.80–$48.40. echostage.com.
Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 9 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42
SearCh LISTIngS aT waShIngTonCITYpaper.Com
CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY
NOT FUNNY! D.C. storytelling league Story District’s latest production is called Not Funny, but it promises to be exactly the opposite. Local storytellers join comedians from around the nation to share “true tales of the hilariously tragic” as part of Brightest Young Things’ annual Bentzen Ball comedy festival. Take this chance to laugh guiltfree at stories that seamlessly blend comedy and sadness from a myriad performers including Story District regulars Allison Steinberg, Vijai Nathan, and Adam Ruben, as well as actress Jacqueline Novak and comedy writer Phoebe Robinson (pictured). Expect stories involving nakedness, awkward romantic encounters, and other uncomfortable scenes that performers and audience members can chuckle about in retrospect. Story District, formerly known as Speakeasy D.C., is largely credited with driving the rise of storytelling as a form of comedy. Friday’s event includes all the laughs of stand-up comedy plus the intimate qualities of sharing stories, making it the perfect comedy show for those who say they don’t like stand-up’s crasser aspects. The show begins at 8 p.m. at the Howard Theatre, 620 T St. NW. $20. (202) 803-2899. story—Tatiana Cirisano district.org.
Funk & R&B Blues Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Rachelle Ferrell. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $60. bluesalley.com. veRiZoN ceNteR 601 F St. NW. (202) 628-3200. Stevie Wonder. 8 p.m. $59.50–$149.50. verizoncenter.com.
ElEctRonic u stReet Music HAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Tensnake. 10:30 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.
Jazz
gyPsy sAlly’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. That 1 Guy. 9 p.m. $15–$17. gypsysallys.com.
AtlAs PeRfoRMiNg ARts ceNteR 1333 H St. NE. (202) 399-7993. Darius Jones, Emilie Lesbros. 8 p.m. $20–$28. atlasarts.org.
Rock & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Pentagram, Satan’s Satyrs, Electric Citizen. 7:30 p.m. $20–$23. rockandrollhoteldc.com.
keNNedy ceNteR teRRAce gAlleRy 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Kurt Rosenwinkel. 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. $26–$30. kennedy-center.org.
sixtH & i HistoRic syNAgogue 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Cecile McLorin-Salvant. 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. $30. sixthandi.org.
Folk BlAck cAt 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Noah Gundersen. 9 p.m. $16–$18. blackcatdc.com.
WoRld keNNedy ceNteR MilleNNiuM stAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. José-Luis Orozco. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
classical AMP By stRAtHMoRe 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. New Orchestra of Washington. 8 p.m. $30–$40. ampbystrathmore.com. keNNedy ceNteR coNceRt HAll 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Donald Runnicles, conductor; Olga Peretyatko, soprano. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 35
sunday
Monday
9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls, Skinny Lister, Beans on Toast. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.
9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Destroyer, Jennifer Castle. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com.
Rock
BiRcHMeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. The Tribute. 7:30 p.m. $39.50. birchmere.com. BlAck cAt 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Radkey. 7:30 p.m. $12. blackcatdc.com.
Rock
dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. The Lighthouse and The Whaler. 8:30 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine.com. liNcolN tHeAtRe 1215 U St. NW. (202) 328-6000. FFS (Franz Ferdinand & Sparks). 6:30 p.m. $45. thelincolndc.com.
u stReet Music HAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Emily Kinney. 7 p.m. $25. ustreetmusichall.com.
u stReet Music HAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Seoul, Young Ejecta. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.
Funk & R&B
Funk & R&B
Blues Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Rachelle Ferrell. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $60. bluesalley.com.
BiRcHMeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Aaron Neville. 7:30 p.m. $59.50. birchmere.com.
Jazz
tuesday
BetHesdA Blues ANd JAZZ 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Chris Grasso Trio, Lena Seikaly, Chuck Redd. 7:30 p.m. $20. bethesdabluesjazz.com. twiNs JAZZ 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Bobby Muncy. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.
Folk AMP By stRAtHMoRe 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Blue Highway. 8 p.m. $18–$27. ampbystrathmore.com.
Rock
9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Luna, Diane Coffee. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. The Glorious Sons. 9 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com. fillMoRe silveR sPRiNg 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. One Ok Rock. 8 p.m. $25. fillmoresilverspring.com. u stReet Music HAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Oberhofer. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.
WoRld
Jazz
keNNedy ceNteR MilleNNiuM stAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Zedashe. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
BiRcHMeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Melody Gardot. 7:30 p.m. $69.50. birchmere.com.
CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY
“THE TEMPORARY ART REPAIR SHOP” With residential square footage at a premium in much of D.C., people likely have little room for broken objects, opting to toss them in the trash instead of repairing them. While some might see this as wasteful, the abandoned objects can then become materials for tinkering dumpster divers and, for the next month, Swedish artist Tobias Sternberg. Logan Circle’s Transformer Gallery welcomes Sternberg and his installation “Temporary Art Repair Shop,” in which locals are invited to drop off items that no longer work for the artist to “repair.” Make no mistake: Sternberg’s goal is not to return these things to working order. Instead, he’ll take parts from the donated objects and turn them into stand-alone sculptures, which will be on display at Transformer until the exhibition closes at the end of the month. While there’s no guarantee that every donated item will be turned into art, it’s certainly a more engaging way to dump your broken furniture than dragging it to the alley. The exhibition is on view Wednesdays through Saturdays noon to 6 p.m., to Oct. 31, at Transformer Gallery, 1404 P St. NW. Free. (202) —Caroline Jones 483-1102. transformerdc.org.
36 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
FREE TICKET GIVEAWAY FOR FIRST 50 TO EMAIL DC@FUNMUSICPRESENTS.COM PICK YOUR PARTY
HOSTED BY SAVED BY THE BELL’S DENNIS HASKINS AKA MR. BELDING
jessiesgirlnyc.com ilovethe90s.com funmusicpresents.com 620 T STREET NW washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 37
1811 14TH ST NW
www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc OCTOBER SHOWS
FRI 2
JOEY CAPE SAINTS AND SPINNERS
FRI 2
MACHO PRES. CIRCUIT BEARS
SAT 3
NOAH GUNDERSEN
MEGAN HILTY
A K-POP DANCE NIGHT
BENJAMIN CLEMENTINE
THU 1
A BURLESQUE GAME SHOW A BEAR DANCE PARTY
SAT 3 SUN 4 TUE 6 WED 7
THU 8 FRI 9
BAE BAE
RADKEY COMPUTER MAGIC LEE BAINS III & THE GLORY FIRES PUJOL
SAINTSENECA
METALACHI
FUTUREBIRDS SUN 11 ELECTRIC SIX SAT 10
FRI, OCT 9 TWO SHOWS!
D.C. PREMIERE!
WED, OCT 14
SAM BUSH THU, OCT 15
FOLK DANCES OF INDIA SAT, OCT 17
TRICOT WED 14 GOATSNAKE
OLD DOMINION
THU 15
THU, OCT 22
TUE 13
FRI 16
BLITZEN TRAPPER
TWO SHOWS!
TELEKINESIS SAY HI
JONATHAN BISS, PIANO
LITTLE WAR TWINS
MON 19
EVERY WEEKEND AT 7PM
FRIDAY
TEN FORWARD A HAPPY HOUR 1 STAR TREK:TNG EP. PER WEEK
ROMULAN ALE SPECIALS
SATURDAY
Dr. Who HAPPY HOUR 1 EPISODE pER WEEK plus drink specials
NOW OPEN at 5pm M-F!
CHAMBER MUSIC AT THE BARNS
FRI, OCT 23
WILLIE NILE
JEFFERSON GRIZZARD
The members of the Georgian folk music and dance group Zedashe could just as easily call themselves anthropologists as they could performers. Founded in the mid-’90s and directed by Ketevan Mindorashvili, the group’s mission is to revive traditional folk music and customs that were lost during the communist era. This means using traditional instruments like the goat-skin bagpipe called a ch’iboni and two different kinds of lutes for accompaniment. The group’s real draw, however, is its powerful three-part harmonies that will fill the Kennedy Center’s Great Hall when the group performs on the Millennium Stage. That vocal power is tied to the group’s connections to liturgical music often performed in the Orthodox church, but listen closer and you’ll hear similarities between Georgian music and classic American folk songs. Zedashe performs at 6 p.m. at the Kennedy Center Millennium Stage, 2700 F St. NW. $39–$175. (202) 467-4600. —Caroline Jones kennedy-center.org. Blues Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roy Hargrove. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $40–$60. bluesalley.com.
Wednesday Rock
9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Wavves, Twin Peaks. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com.
CATHERINE RUSSELL
BiRcHMeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Matt Nathanson. 7:30 p.m. $32.75. birchmere.com.
FRI, OCT 30
dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Pure Bathing Culture, Wild Ones. 9 p.m. $12. dcnine.com.
SISTER SPARROW & THE DIRTY BIRDS
gw lisNeR AuditoRiuM 730 21st St. NW. (202) 994-6800. Lucinda Williams and Buick 6. 8 p.m. $35–$45. lisner.org.
THU, NOV 5
TAKE METRO!
ZEDASHE
THU, OCT 29
WILD ADRIATIC
RED ROOM & LUCKY CAT PINBALL
CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY
ON SALE NOW!
WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION
TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM 38 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
gyPsy sAlly’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Particle, Dr. Fameus. 8:30 p.m. $15–$17. gypsysallys.com.
ElEctRonic u stReet Music HAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Autechre. 10 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.
twiNs JAZZ 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Joe Vetter Quartet. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.
Hip-Hop MANsioN At stRAtHMoRe 10701 Rockville Pike, Rockville. (301) 581-5100. Christylez Bacon, Lily Neill. 7:30 p.m. $17. strathmore.org.
classical keNNedy ceNteR teRRAce gAlleRy 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Vijay Iyer, Brentano String Quartet. 7 p.m. $45. kennedy-center.org.
thursday Rock
9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Kurt Vile and the Violators, Waxahatchee, Luke Roberts. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Teen Daze, Heavenly Beat, Lance Neptune. 9 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.
Jazz
gyPsy sAlly’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. The Band of Heathens, Cory Branan. 8:30 p.m. $15–$20. gypsysallys.com.
Blues Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roy Hargrove. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $40–$60. bluesalley.com.
tHe HAMiltoN 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Animal Liberation Orchestra, Fruition. 7:30 p.m. $18–$25. thehamiltondc.com.
CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY
“PICTURING AMERICA”
The emergence and cultural development of the United States has long sparked interest and curiosity among Germans, whose conceptions of the country have evolved over time from idealized images of Native Americans as “noble savages” in an earlier era to, more recently, a fascination with its wide, open spaces and the American spirit of enterprise. In its “Picturing America” series, the Goethe-Institut presents three films on this theme, as well as a reading by award-winning German author Felicitas Hoppe, who is currently retracing the steps of Ilf and Petrov, a duo of Russian journalists who traveled around the U.S. in the 1930s filing dispatches for the Communist newspaper Pravda. Featured films include Chingachgook, The Great Snake, a 1967 East German “red Western” based on the fictional chief in James Fenimore Cooper’s Last of the Mohicans; Baghdad Café (Out of Rosenheim), an offbeat 1987 comedy about a German tourist who holes up at a California roadside café/motel after her husband ditches her on their U.S. road trip; and Friendship!, a 2010 buddy film in which two young East Germans visit San Francisco after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Learn how some Germans observe the unique quirks of American life. The series runs from Oct. 5 to Oct. 26 at the Goethe-Institut, 812 7th St. NW. $4–$7. (202) —Vanessa H. Larson 289-1200. washington.goethe.de. linColn theatre 1215 U St. NW. (202) 328-6000. The Zombies. 6:30 p.m. $45. thelincolndc.com. warner theatre 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000. Warren Haynes, Jeff Sipe, Chessboxer, Justin Townes Earle. 7:30 p.m. $35.50–$40.50. warnertheatre.com.
Jazz Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roy Hargrove. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $40–$60. bluesalley.com.
Hip-Hop howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Big Daddy Kane, Rakim. 8 p.m. $29.50. thehowardtheatre.com.
TheaTer
having visions, she’s forced to confront the issues she’s ignored. Gaye Taylor Upchurch directs this dark comedy by Clare Lizzimore. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Oct. 25. $20–$45. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. Beautiful—the Carole King MusiCal Learn about the career of songwriter Carole King and her ascent from teenage prodigy to bestselling artist in this musical that uses King’s songs to tell the story of her life. Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To Oct. 25. $39–$150. 202-467-4600. kennedy-center.org. Bhavi the avenger After slaying an elephant, a young man is haunted by the creature and forced to deal with the power of his actions. Convergence Theater presents this production of Tearrance Chisholm’s play about prejudice and consequences. Flashpoint Mead Theatre Lab. 916 G St. NW. To Oct. 11. $15–$25. (202) 315-1306. culturaldc.org.
aliCe in wonderland Follow Alice down the rabbit hole and experience this darker take on Lewis Carroll’s loopy tale featuring the Queen of Hearts, the Mad Hatter, and the Cheshire Cat. In true Synetic fashion, the production, presented as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival, is directed by Paata Tsikurishvili and choreographed by Irina Tsikurishvili. Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St., Arlington. To Nov. 8. $15–$70. (800) 494-8497. synetictheater.org.
a Bright new Boise A disgraced evangelist aims to reconnect with his estranged son but when colleagues discover the secrets he’s been trying to cover up, he’s forced to decide between reuniting his broken family or returning to the faith that once controlled his life. Nathan Vasquez directs this play by Samuel D. Hunter as part of Mason Fringe. George Mason University Center for the Arts. 4400 University Drive, Fairfax. To Oct. 11. $5. (703) 993-2787. cfa.gmu.edu.
aniMal Despite having a loving husband, comfortable home, and fulfilling career, Rachel still can’t seem to find contentment. When conventional wisdom can’t help her snap out of her funk and she starts
CaKe off Sherri L. Edelen stars in this new play about a bake off with a one million dollar prize and the tough competitors aiming to take home the dough. Expect a production full of flour, sugar, and bitter batter battles.
washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 39
UPTOWN BLUES
HAPPY HOUR M-F • 4-8 1/2 Priced APPetizers Fri. Oct. 2 Sat. Oct. 3 Fri. Oct. 9 Sat. Oct. 10 Fri. Oct. 16 Sat. Oct. 17
Still Standing Big Boy little Band Sookey Jump BlueS Band Smokin’ polecatS moonShine Society Stacy BrookS BlueS Band
D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar
Sundays mike Flaherty’S
dixieland direct Jazz Band
3000 Connecticut Avenue, NW (across from the National Zoo)
202-232-4225 zoobardc.com
CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY
BEAUTIFUL Admit it: You’ve probably mimicked Aretha Franklin and sung “You Make Me Feel Like (A Natural Woman)” in the shower at some point. Or maybe you’ve tearfully swayed to “You’ve Got a Friend” at the end of a wedding, or belted “Where You Lead” while binging Gilmore Girls episodes. For all those musical moments, you can thank Carole King. King was the original teenage songwriting powerhouse, setting her emotions to music in New York’s famous Brill Building decades before Taylor Swift wept about boys in trucks. Beautiful, the jukebox musical that tells the story of King’s life, follows her from her early days collaborating with then-husband Gerry Goffin through her emergence as a solo artist and the release of Tapestry, her landmark 1971 album that’s sold more than 25 million copies in the U.S. alone. The musical’s Broadway production took home two Tony Awards in 2014, including a best actress award for Jessie Mueller’s portrayal of King; Mueller’s sister Abby assumes the role for this national tour. Their performances will impress but it’s King’s songs and their emotional heft that remain the stars of the show. The musical runs Oct. 6 to Oct. 25 at the Kennedy Center Opera House, 2700 F St. NW. $39–$175. (202) 467—Diana Metzger 4600. kennedy-center.org.
washingtoncitypaper.com
LIVE
UPCOMING PERFORMANCES
LEE RITENOUR FRIDAY OCT
Thursday, October 1
THE WHARF RATS
YACHT
Friday, October 2
ROCK REVUE
SONNY VINCENT Saturday, October 3 - SHAG - 80’s night
SUNDAY OCT
Tuesday, October 6
BRECKENRIDGE BREWING BEER DINNER Wednesday, October 7
PAULA BOGGS BAND Thursday, October 8 - PULP FUSION KELLY BELL
Friday, October 9 -
Saturday, October 10 -
WICKED PAST
Tuesday, October 13
2ND TUESDAYS BLUES DAYS hosted by Moonshine Society
Thursday, October 15 -
FATSKEYS
W W W. V I L L A I N A N D SA I N T. C O M
2
4
THURS, OCT 8
ALO W/ FRUITION SAT, OCT 10
NEWMYER FLYER PRESENTS A JOHN LENNON BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE:
BEATLES AND SOLO YEARS MON, OCT 12
KINKY FRIEDMAN’S
“LONELIEST MAN I EVER MET” TOUR W/ BRIAN MOLNAR TUES, OCT 13
JOHN GRANT W/ VILLAGERS WED, OCT 14
NEW DATE!!
THE TAJ MAHAL TRIO
THEHAMILTONDC.COM
40 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Nov. 22. $40–$96. (703) 820-9771. signature-theatre.org.
curiosities and passions. Gunston Arts Center, Theatre Two. 2700 South Lang St., Arlington. To Oct. 11. $10–$35. (703) 418-4808. wscavantbard.org.
cAN’t coMPlAiN An old woman confined to a hospital for a round of tests ordered by her daughter attempts an escape with the help of her roommate and granddaughter but a party gone awry waylays their plans. Instead, the woman is forced to confront her past in order to move forward in this new play by Christine Evans. Spooky Action Theater. 1810 16th St. NW. To Oct. 25. $15–$35. (301) 920-1414. spookyaction.org.
tHe guARd Set in an art museum, this world premiere play by Jessica Dickey examines what happens when a guard dares to touch a famous painting and the fantastical journey through the ages that follows. Sharon Ott directs this production as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Oct. 18. $20–$62. (202) 347-4833. fordstheatre.org.
cHiMeRicA Inspired by the Tiananmen Square protests on 1992, this play by Lucy Kirkwood focuses on a journalist who photographed the events and seeks out his subject years later. Two decades later, with ChineseAmerican relations dominating the election cycle, he’s approached by another Chinese acquaintance with a different proposal. David Muse directs this play about political correctness, change, and responsibility. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Oct. 18. $20–$71. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. destiNy of desiRe Drawing inspiration from Latin American telenovelas, this new play from local author Karen Zacarías focuses on the aftermath of a shocking baby swap. When one is raised by a rich family and and one is raised in poverty, the stage is set for an even more unbelievable reunion. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Oct. 18. $50–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. fRieNdsHiP BetRAyed WCS Avant Bard presents this 17th-century play by María de Zayas y Sotomayor, which, like Sex and the City, explores what happens to female friendships while women look for and find love. Kari Ginsburg sets her production in the 1920s, a time when women were beginning to explore their sexual
iNHeRitANce cANyoN In this dark new play, playwright Liz Maestri takes the characters from her play Owl Moon and sets them in an alternate reality where, after surviving a mysterious disaster, they’re left to fend for themselves while trapped in a canyon. Lise Bruneau directs this production, presented as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Taffety Punk at Capitol Hill Arts Workshop. 545 7th St. SE. To Oct. 10. $15. (202) 261-6612. taffetypunk.com. iRoNBouNd Over the course of 22 years, a Polish immigrant examines her romantic relationships and the values she takes from them in this new drama by Martyna Majok. Despite a lack of employment and in order to provide for her son, Darja is able to persevere and fight for what’s most important. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To Oct. 4. $36–$61. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. lAdy lAy Scena Theater presents this play about a German woman who discovers the music of Bob Dylan and learns from it during a pivotal moment in her nation’s history. Presented as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To Oct. 10. $25–$45. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.
$10 BURGER & BEER MON-FRI 4 P M -7 P M
TRIVIA EVERY M O N D AY & W E D N E S D AY
$3 PBR & NATTY BOH ALL DAY EVERY DAY
THURSDAY 10/22
600 beers from around the world
WED OCTOBER 7TH
COMEDY AT THE HOWARD:
KYLE DUNNIGAN THURS OCTOBER 8TH
WPGC 95.5 FM PRESENTS:
BIG DADDY KANE & RAKIM FRI OCTOBER 9TH
WHITE FORD BRONCO DC'S ALL 90’S BAND
SUN OCTOBER 11TH PANTEON ROCOCO TUE OCTOBER 13TH LIVE & DIRECT FROM ARGENTINA
DREAD MAR-I SAT OCTOBER 17TH
MOTHER FALCON & BEN SOLLEE THE FALL MIGRATION
TUE OCTOBER 20TH
DAVE DAVIES OF THE KINKS FRI OCTOBER 23RD
Downstairs: good food, great beer: $3 PBR & Natty Boh’s all day every day
JOHN DOE & THE SADIES
*all shows 21+ THURS, OCTOBER 1ST
UNDERGROUND COMEDY
DOORS OPEN AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM Tix $20
FRI, OCTOBER 2ND
EYRIE TWILIGHT HEXWORK
H
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 10PM S AT, O C T O B E R 3 R D
CYN FACOTRY PRESENTS STAR TREK TRIBUTE
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM SUN, OCTOBER 4TH
H
Oct 1
THE CRANE WIVES
Oct 2
THE WOODSHEDDERS
Oct 6
LANEY JONES & THE SPIRITS THE CLAUDETTES ZANE CAMPBELL TERI JOYCE & THE TAGALONGS LILLY HIATT BUZZ CARON & KITI GARTNER THE SOUTHERN GOTHIC WHITEY MORGAN HUMAN COUNTRY JUKEBOX
Oct 9
HOPE OPERA PRESENTS A NEW HOPE
Oct 10 Oct 15
BELL BIV DEVOE
DOORS AT 7PM SHOW AT 8PM
SAT OCT 24TH & SUN OCT 25TH
DISTRICT TRIVIA
Oct 22
TUES, OCTOBER 6TH
Oct 24
WHUR 96.3 FM PRESENTS:
2 NIGHTS OF
MUSIQ SOULCHILD MON OCTOBER 26TH
AN EVENING WITH DAVID DUCHOVNY TUE OCTOBER 27TH
BIG K.R.I.T.
FRI OCTOBER 30TH
Oct 17
MON, OCTOBER 5TH
STARTS AT 730PM
LAST RESORT COMEDY
Oct 25
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM WED, OCTOBER 7TH
DOORS AT 6PM SHOW AT 730PM
TUE NOVEMBER 3RD
THURS, OCTOBER 8TH
PAUL MOONEY & DICK GREGORY ONE NIGHT ONLY!
PRODUCED BY JILL NEWMAN PRODUCTIONS
BUY TICKETS AT THE BOX OFFICE OR ONLINE AT THEHOWARDTHEATRE.COM 202-803-2899
UNDERGROUND COMEDY
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM 1523 22nd St NW – Washington, DC 20037 (202) 293-1887 - www.bierbarondc.com @bierbarondc.com for news and events
NO COVER
H
PERFECT LIARS CLUB
GIN BLOSSOMS JILL NEWMAN PRODUCTIONS & PM7 ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS
Oct 31
NO COVER
H
Nov 5
POSSESSED BY PAUL JAMES
Nov 6
SUNNY LEDFURD
Nov 19
CORY MORROW
HILL COUNTRY BARBECUE MARKET
410 Seventh St, NW • 202.556.2050 Hillcountrylive.com • Twitter @hillcountrylive
Near Archives/Navy Memorial [G, Y] and Gallery PI/Chinatown [R] Metro washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 41
FROM THE DIRECTOR OF
HERO
AND
RAISE THE RED LANTERN
HHHH (HIGHEST RATING)
“A MASTERPIECE. A CAUSE FOR REJOICING.” -Rex Reed, NEW YORK OBSERVER
GONG LI
Coming Home
Now coMes tHe NigHt In E.M. Lewis’ world premiere play, an American journalist is released after being held hostage for 18 months but his transition back into society meets challenges. A disagreement with a friend shakes both men, causing them to consider the consequences of being a hero in these times. Alex Levy directs 1st Stage’s first contribution to the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To Oct. 11. $15–$30. (703) 854-1856. 1ststagespringhill.org.
A F I L M BY Z H A N G Y I M O U
WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM
EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT
NOW PLAYING
QueeNs giRl iN tHe woRld When she’s transferred from her familiar environment in Queens to a progressive school in Greenwich Village where she’s one of four black students, 12-year-old Jacqueline Marie Butler feels her world shrinking. In this world premiere play by Caleen Sinnette Jennings, Jacqueline’s journey of understanding and growth comes to life. Presented as part of of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To Oct. 11. $17–$67. (202) 518-9400. theaterj.org.
VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.COMINGHOMEMOVIE.COM
Is the Glass half full? Is the Glass half empty? how about half off!
sAloMé Adaptor and director Yaël Farber presents this new production chronicling the story of the princess who begged for the head of John the Baptist on a platter and takes back ownership of her body. Presented as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Lansburgh Theatre. 450 7th St. NW. To Nov. 8. $20–$108. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.
realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com
Bohemian Caverns Tuesdays Artist in Residency
Brad Linde
PT SE
DC’s Legendary Jazz Club
Established in 1926 2001 11th ST NW - (202)299-0800
Oct 2nd & 3rd
Jesse Fischer Day Dreamer Release Thur Oct 1st
Legends of Jazz Series
Pharoah Sanders Fri - Sun
Oct 16th - 18th
Matt Lucian & Matt Maneri Sun Oct 11th
presented in conjunction w/ Transparent Productions
T OC
Donald Harrison Fri & Sat
www.BohemianCaverns.com
rd
Fri & Sat
Oct 30th & 31st
Chad Carter Matvei Sigalov
Sun Nov 1st Thur Nov 5th
@LivNightclub
Backbeat Fri Underground Oct 2
nd
WonderFull™ DJ Spinna
Sat 0th 1 Oct
Arkestra under direction of
Marshall Allen
42 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
Fri Oct 30th
th
Oct 23 & 24
Mark Meadows
Bohemian Caverns Jazz Orchestra Sun Ra Mondays @ 8pm
tiNy islANd Two sisters growing up in the 1980s worry about their family’s movie theater as video rental
tRutH & BeAuty BoMBs: A softeR woRld Inspired by the web comic created by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau, this new play imagines a world where the edges might be softer but monsters are real. A variety of well-known local actors and dramatists, including Alexandra Petri, Frank Britton, and Randy Baker collaborate on this production. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To Oct. 4. $20–$30. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org. uPRisiNg In this new musical set in the aftermath of John Brown’s raid on Harper’s Ferry, a group of free black fall under the spell of Ossie, a revolutionary who aims to change the world around him. Thomas W. Jones II directs Gabrielle Fulton’s production, a world premiere. MetroStage. 1201 N. Royal St., Alexandria. To Oct. 25. $55–$60. (703) 548-9044. metrostage.org. woMeN lAugHiNg AloNe witH sAlAd Three women balance their relationships with the same man and their own life priorities in this world-premiere comedy from Sheila Callaghan. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To Oct. 4. $43–$68. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net. yeRMA (BARReN) In this adaptation of the classic Federico Garcia Lorca play, a poor, childless peasant confronts the repressive society in which she lives. This contemporary update and its comments on the fate of modern women who stand up for their rights remains relevant today. GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333 14th St. NW. To Oct. 4. $20–$42. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org.
FilM
Houses In this thriller, a construction worker n 99 makes a deal to build homes for the crooked developer who evicted his family from their home. Ramin Bahrani directs this film starring Andrew Garfield and Michael Shannon. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) coMiNg HoMe A couple is forced apart when the husband is sent to a labor camp during China’s Cul-
CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY
Federico Peña
Jahsonic
"This group is something special." ~ Mike West (CityPaper)
texts&BeHeAdiNgs/eliZABetHR In this new devised theater piece, created and directed by Karin Coonrod as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival, Elizabeth I’s letters from the Folger collection are used to tell the story of the queen’s reign. Four actresses read Elizabeth’s words that have been transformed into poems and personal reflections. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To Oct. 4. $35. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.
stores expand and cable takes over their airwaves in this retro work by Michael Hollinger that nevertheless remains relevant in the 21st century. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To Oct. 25. $40–$50. (240) 582-0050. stageguild.org.
(various groups)
Victor Provost Fri & Sat
MAytAg viRgiN A recent widow living in rural Alabama connects with her new neighbor, a quiet observer who starts watching her and interpreting her behavior, and together they learn to repair their spirits in this quiet play by Audrey Cefaly. Presented as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Quotidian Theatre Company at The Writer’s Center. 4508 Walsh St., Bethesda. To Nov. 1. $15–$30. (301) 816-1023. quotidiantheatre.org.
www.LivDC.com
LADY LAY On the night the Berlin Wall fell, actor and soft-rock performer David Hasselhoff— hoisted above the Brandenberg Gate by a crane—serenaded thousands of residents gathered on both sides with his hit song “Looking for Freedom.” Surviving video of the performance looks cheesy as hell (Hasselhoff sports a light-up leather jacket and modified Jheri curl) but decades later, Germans still credit him with helping alleviate tensions and bring down the Wall. Scena Theater’s latest production looks at another musical moment that coincides with the reunification of Germany. In Lady Lay, we meet disaffected government clerk MariAnne who discovers the music of Bob Dylan right around the time the Wall collapses. By exploring Dylan’s catalog, MariAnne is not only able to shake off the political fatigue that has settled on the nation but also connect with the emotional aspects of the music for the first time. The result is a subtle play about the power of music, so don’t expect to find the characters lazing about on a large brass bed. The play runs Oct. 6 to Oct. 10 at Atlas Performing Arts Center, 1333 H St. NE. $25–$45. —Caroline Jones (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.
“A MASTERPIECE OF SUSPENSE.” ROGEREBERT.com
“PHENOMENAL! PULSES WITH ENERGY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
Great performances from Andrew Garfield, Michael Shannon and Laura Dern.”
TIME OUT
HHHH!
“
”
“A RIVETING RABBLE-ROUSER!
Andrew Garfield’s best performance since The Social Network.”
“MICHAEL SHANNON MAGNETIZES ALL EYES.” EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS START WASHINGTON, DC
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2
BETHESDA FAIRFAX Landmark’s E Street ArcLight Bethesda Angelika at Mosaic Cinema (202) 783-9494 (301) 365-0213 (571) 512-3301
D.C.’s awesomest washingtonCitypaper.Com/CalenDar events calendar.
THIS O C TO B E R AT BLUES ALLEY! CELEBRATING 50 YEARS IN OUR NATION’S CAPITAL OCTOBER 16-19 OCTOBER 24-25
Najee
Rudresh Mahanthappa
(Sax/Smooth)
“Bird Calls” (Trumpet)
OCTOBER 6-11
OCTOBER 22-23
(Trumpet/Grammy Winner}
(Vibes/Soul Fusion)
Roy Hargrove Quintet
BLUES ALLEY
Roy Ayers
OCT. 29-NOV. 1
John Pizarelli Quartet “McCartney & More; CD Release Party”
1073 Wisconsin Ave. (in the alley) • (202) 337-4141 • www.bluesalley.com washingtoncitypaper.com OCTOBER 2, 2015 43
“SPELLBINDING,
SUSPENSEFUL AND PROVOCATIVE. One of the most powerful films since THE THIN BLUE LINE !” -Avi Offer, The NYC Movie Guru
“An explosive eye-opening look at a growing issue in American life; A MUST-SEE!” -Dr. Joy Browne, drjoy.com / Genesis Communications Network
PEACE OFFICER
WE’VE CROSSED THE LINE
Educating the public and empowering the homeless one newspaper at a time.
Street Sense
Where the Washington area’s poor and homeless earn and give their two cents
Pick up a copy today from vendors throughout downtown D.C. or visit www.streetsense.org for more information.
PEACEOFFICERFILM.COM
© 2015 PEACE OFFICER, LLC
STARTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2
LIFELINE DID YOU KNOW? Did you know? You may qualify for assistance in paying your home phone bill. Discounts You may qualify for assistance in paying your home phone for basic telephone service are available to eligible District of Columbia bill. Discounts for basic telephone service are available to low-income residents.
eligible District of Columbia low-income residents.
Verizon Washington, D.C. Lifeline Plans: Verizon Washington, D.C.’s Lifeline service, known as “Economy II,” offers reduced rates on Verizon’s monthly telephone bill and one-time discounts on the cost of installing phone service. Additionally, toll blocking is Verizon Washington, D.C. Lifeline Plans: available to Economy II customers at no charge.
Verizon Washington, D.C.’s Lifeline service, known as “Economy II,” offers reduced
Economy II Service*: $3.00 per for unlimited local calling. Value-added services are rates onmonth Verizon’s monthly telephone bill and one-time discounts on not the included cost of (e.g., Call Waiting, Caller ID). No connection Also, customers willisnot be charged for the IIfederal installing phonecharges service.apply. Additionally, toll blocking available to Economy customers subscriber line charge. Economy II customers who are 65 years of age or older can have this service at a further at no charge. reduced rate of $1.00 per month.
Economy II Service*: $3.00 per month for unlimited local calling. Value-added services
* Full terms and rates for these services, including terms of eligibility, are as set forth in federal and in Verizon’s tariffs on file with the Public Service Commission of the not included Callare Waiting, ID). connection charges apply. Also, District of Columbia. All rates, terms are and conditions included (e.g., in this notice subject to Caller change and are No current at the time of printing.
customers will not be charged for the federal subscriber line charge. Economy II customers who are 65 years of age or older can have this service at a further reduced
Eligibility: rate of $1.00 per month. District residents who have been certified by the Washington, DC Lifeline Program asandeligible apply including terms of eligibility, * Full terms rates formay these services, are as set forth in federal and in Verizon’s tariffs on file with the Public Restrictions: of the District Commission for the Economy II program.Service To apply, schedule an of Columbia. Rates as stated here are effective as of September 1, 2011. But, the rates and other terms are ✓ No other working telephone service at the same location subject to change in the future. appointment with the Washington, DC Lifeline Program by ✓ No additional phone lines calling 1-800-253-0846. Households in which one or more ✓ No Foreign Exchange or Foreign Zone service individuals are receiving benefits from one of the following Restrictions: ✓ No bundles or packages public assistance programs Eligibility: or have an annual income unpaid No other working that is 150% or below the Federal Poverty Guideline may ✓ No outstanding final bills telephone service at District residents who have been certified by the the same location be eligible. ✓ Bill name mustmatch eligible participant District Department of the Environment’s Energy No additional phone lines ✓ Food stamps Office (DDOE) as income eligible may apply ✓ for Nothe separate Lifeline discountExchange on cellular wireless No Foreign or or Foreign Zone ✓ Temporary Assistance for Economy Needy Families (TANF) II program this program. To apply, phone service service schedule an appointment with DDOE by calling 311. ✓ Supplemental Security Income bundles ✓ Business linesareNonot eligibleor packages which one or more individuals are ✓ Low Income Home EnergyHouseholds AssistanceinProgram (LIHEAP) No outstanding unpaid final bills ✓ Phone numbermust match eligible participant receiving benefits ✓ Federal Public Housing Assistance (Sectionfrom 8) one of the following public Bill name must match eligible participant ✓ Must be a current Verizon customer or establish new assistance programs may be income eligible. ✓ Medicaid No separate Lifeline discount on cellular service with Verizon or wireless phone service Food(Free Stamps ✓ National School Lunch Programs Lunch Program) Business lines are not eligible Phone number must match eligible participant Contact 1-800-253-0846 to apply Must be a current customer or establish To learn more about the Lifeline program, visit www.lifelinesupport.org. new service with Verizon Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) Supplemental Security Income Public Assistance to Adults Washington, DC Lifeline Program at Temporary Disability Assistance Program
Economy II is a Lifeline supported service. Lifeline is a government assistance program. Only eligible consumers may enroll. You may qualify for Lifeline service if you can show proof that you participate in certain government assistance programs or your annual income (gross and from all sources) is at or below 150% of the Federal Poverty Guideline. If you qualify based on income, you will be required to provide income verification. Proof of participation in a government assistance program requires your current or prior year’s statement of benefits from a qualifying state or federal program; a notice letter or other official document indicating your participation in such a program; and/or another program participation document (for example, benefit card). Proof of income requires your prior year’s state or federal tax return; current income statement from an employer or paycheck stub; a statement of Social Security, Veterans Administration, retirement, pension, or Unemployment or Workmen’s Compensation benefits; a federal notice letter of participation in General Assistance; a divorce decree; a child support award; and/or another official document containing income information. At least three months of data is necessary when showing proof of income. In addition, the Lifeline program is limited to one discount per household, consisting of either wireline or wireless service. You are required to certify and agree that no other member of the household is receiving Lifeline service from Verizon or another communications provider. Lifeline service is a non-transferable benefit. Lifeline customers may not subscribe to certain other services, including other local telephone service. Consumers who willfully make false statements in order to obtain the Lifeline benefit can be punished by fine or imprisonment, or can be barred from the program.
Contact DDOE at 311 to apply
To learn more about the Lifeline program, visit www.lifelinesupport.org.
44 OCTOBER 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
tural Revolution. He eventually makes his way back to his wife, only to discover that she no longer recognizes him in this dark drama from director Yimou Zhang. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) eveRest Two different groups of climbers attempt to reach the summit of the world’s highest peak in this action-filled movie inspired by true events. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Keira Knightley, and Robin Wright. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) fiNdeRs keePeRs This new documentary from Bryan Carberry and J. Clay Tweel looks at the case of John Wood, whose amputated leg somehow wound up in a grill bought at a yard sale. While its new owner wants to display the leg on her own, Wood must decide whether to fight for his biological property. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) goodNigHt MoMMy After their mother has reconstructive surgery, two young siblings do everything they can to cheer her up. Based on her disposition, however, they begin to suspect the person under the bandages might not be their mother after all. Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz direct this creepy thriller starring Susanne Wuest. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) tHe iNteRN Robert Deniro stars as Ben, an older gentleman who seeks to redefine his career by interning at an online fashion startup, in this new comedy directed by Nancy Meyers. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) keePiNg RooM Three Southern women n tHe must band together to save their property from
for survival while letting those on Earth know he’s still alive. Based on the novel by Andy Weir, the film stars Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, and Kristen Wiig. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) PeAce officeR Brad Barber and Scott Chrisn topherson direct this new documentary about the militarization of American police forces and the consequences this has had on the life of one rural sheriff. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) tHe secoNd MotHeR A live-in housekeeper must navigate her complicated relationship with her estranged daughter in this family drama written and directed by Anna Muylaert. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) Emily Blunt plays an FBI agent tasked n sicARio with taking down an anonymous drug lord in this thrilling crime drama from director Denis Villeneuve. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) stoNewAll This new film from director Roland Emmerich reimagines the riot that launched the gay rights movement in America from the perspective of a fictional character, Danny, who winds up visiting the Stonewall Inn on a fateful night in 1969. Starring Jeremy Irvine and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) tHe wAlk Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Philippe n Petit, the man determined to walk between the
rogue Union soldiers in this Civil War drama from director Daniel Barber. Starring Hailee Steinfeld, Brit Marling, and Sam Worthington. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information)
World Trade Center’s towers on a wire, in this thrilling drama from director Robert Zemeckis. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)
MARtiAN An astronaut, assumed dead by n tHe his crew mates, is left on Mars and has to struggle
Film clips are written by Caroline Jones.
CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY
THE ZOMBIES British Invasion rockers the Zombies may be best known for their pop singles “She’s Not There,” “Tell Her No,” and “Time of the Season,” but their second album, Odessey and Oracle, now a favorite among rock critics, has helped the group sustain its reputation nearly half a century after its release. Now, for the first time in America, the surviving original band members who recorded that psychedelic pop touchstone will perform it live onstage. While the catchy “Time of the Season” appears on Odessey, the remaining tracks sound more subtle, with singer Colin Blunstone’s breathy, melodic vocals carrying over the band’s choral harmonies and keyboardist Rod Argent providing classically influenced instrumentation. Recorded in part at Abbey Road, the album also features Argent’s experiments with a Mellotron, one of the first keyboards with sampling capability, which the Beatles left behind in the studio. Current members of the group join Blunstone and Argent to perform additional tunes, including ones from their upcoming album Still Got That Hunger. The Zombies perform at 6:30 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre, 1215 U St. NW. $45. —Steve Kiviat (202) 888-0050. thelincolndc.com.
Contents:
Adult ..............................................45 Auto/Wheels/Boat .....................47 Buy, Sell, Trade, Marketplace.................................47 Community...................................47 Employment.................................46 Health/Mind, Body & Spirit ...............................47 Housing/Rentals .........................45 Legals Notices ............................45 Music/Music Row ......................47 Pets................................................47 Real Estate...................................45 Services........................................47
Adult Services
Adult Services
Gorgeous Asian offer sensuous full body massage.combination relaxing by soft magic touch 9am-7pm appointment only call 703-5874683 duke st.
Viagra!! 52 Pills for Only $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-877621-7013
Hablas Espanol? Hot Latino Chat. Call Fonochat now & in seconds you can be speaking to HOT Hispanic singles in your area. Try FREE! 1-800-416-3809.
Pretty 28 year old. Full body massage. Open 10am-6pm. Call 410-322-4871. Virginia.
Adult Services
Soft sensuality awaits w/ Exotic Goddess. Mixed Native-Amer/ Black beauty for discreet gentlemen. 5’7, 125lbs, 34c-25-37, slender & curvy, baby soft skin. Incalls/Outcalls Cum relax w/me! 703-623-7884
Adult Phone Entertainment Feel the Vibe! Hot Black Chat. Urban woman and men ready to MAKE THE CONNECTION. Call singles in your area! Try Free! Call 1-800-305-9164
Diversions
Where Local Girls Go Wild! Hot, Live, Real, Discreet! Uncensored live 1-on-1 HOT phone Chat. Calls in YOUR city! Try Free! Call 1-800-261-4097
Dir�farm ........................................47 Ink Well Crossword....................46
Legals
Apartments for Rent
Achievement Prep PCS (APrep) is seeking a competitive bid for moving/move management and furniture services following the expansion of a public charter school facility. Proposals must be received by Friday, October 2, 2015.
Curious About Men? Talk Discreetly with men like you! Try FREE! Call 1-888-779-2789, www.guyspyvoice.com.
Vendor may provide moving services only or furniture services only. However, preference will be given to those that can provide both services. Bids must include evidence of experience in fi eld, qualifi cations and estimated fees. Please send proposals to bids@ achievmentprep.org and include “RFP Moving and Furniture Services” in the heading. Please find RFP specifi cations at www. achievementprep.org under News. Washington Global solicits proposals for the following services for Legal Services and Facility and Janitorial Services. Please direct questions and proposals to hr@washingtonglobal. org Proposals shall be received no later than 5:00 P.M., Friday, October 9, 2015.
Duplexes/Townhouses For Rent Apt & Townhouse for Rent 1 townhouse 1 apt Columbia Heights, 1235 Girard St NW 20009
LedroitPark 4BD/2.5BA Renovated kitchen, 1/2 bath and living room. Three level townhouse with two large bedrooms and two smaller rooms, washer and dryer, rear deck, dual fuel heat (heat pump with gas furnace backup for higher effi ciency), near Howard-Shaw Metro, Howard Theater, 930 Club, and U street corridor. 426 Elm St NW. $4,100 plus utilities. Contact Ben @202.744.8794 or b.p.davis@att.net Gtown Carriage Hse – 1 bdrm, elegant, fully-furnished, cable, wifi, dishes, linens. Pvt. grdn entr. $2500/mo. incl. util. Avail mid-Nov. 202-337-6580, lv msg.
Condos for Rent Capitol Hill Condo: $1,925 Luxury 1BD+1BA w. private patio incl. garage parking. Across from Metro,grocery,gym,business ctr., 24-hr concierge,& more! Contact: jenkinsrow226@gmail. com for pics!
Columbia Heights large 1BR basement apt. all utils. incl. $2500/mo. by appt only. Columbia Heights 2 floor townhouse, 2 full baths, 3BR, W/D, $3500/mo. Call Dennis, 202-365-8988
Roommates ALL AREAS: ROOMMATES. COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to compliment your personality and lifestyles at Roommates.com!
Office/Commercial For Rent Office Space For Rent with parking at 5615 Landover Road Chevlery, MD. DC & MD spaces to Share desk space available, and meeting rooms 202-355-2068, lpimessiah@gmail.com
Classified Ads Print & Web Classified Packages may be placed on our Web site, by fax, mail, phone, or in person at our office:
Hot ’n horny hookups.
1400 I (EYE) Street NW Suite 900 Washington, D.C. 20005. Commercial Ads rates start at $20 for up to 6 lines in print and online; additional print lines start at $2.50/line (vary by section). Your print ad placement will include web placement plus up to 10 photos online. Premium options available for both print and web may vary.
FREE TO LISTEN AND REPLY TO ADS
Free Code: Washington City Paper
Print Deadline The deadline for submission and payment of classified ads for print is each Monday, 5 pm.
Non-Stop
You may contact the Classifieds Rep by e-mailing classifieds@washingtoncitypaper.com or calling 202-650-6926. For more information please visit www.washingtoncitypaper.com
Cruising FIND REAL GAY MEN NEAR YOU
Washington:
(202) 822-1666 Arlington:
Baltimore:
(703) 373-1000 (410) 468-4000
Get up to 10 days unlimited access.
Join now for FREE. Accessible:
www.megamates.com 18+
washingtoncitypaper.com October 2, 2015 45
T.
Beauty, Fashion & Modeling
Rooms for Rent MD Rooms for rent $675$975 (priv ent & kitchenette) incl all utls W/D. Call 202355-2068, 301-772-3341. Capitol Hill Living: Furnished Rooms for rent for $1,100! Near Metro, major bus lines and Union Station - visit website for details www.TheCurryEstate.com
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX,Accounting/Finance UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS Economics Partners, LLC seeks HEALTH/MIND, BODYD.C. F/T Associate in Washington, to perform transfer pricing anal& yses; SPIRIT review & analyze financ sthttp://www.washingtoncimts; build mdls; & conduct company, industry, & market research. typaper.com/
Travel req’d up to 5%. Req’s freq. evening & w/e work. Bach or frgn equiv in Acct, Fin, Econ, Bus, or other quantitative fld from an accred. college/univ. w/GPA 3.0 or higher. 1yr exp w/fin, acct, or econ. Email resume or CV to daniel.chao@econpartners.com. EEO.
Earn $500 A Day as AIRBRUSH MAKEUP ARTIST for: ads, TV, Film, fashion. HD & Digital 35% off tuition - One Week Course taught by top makeup artist & photographer. Train & Build Portfolio. Models provided. Accredited. A+ rated AwardMakeupSchool.com, 818980-2119. High end NW customer service driven salon seeking hairstylists and makeup artists. Upload resume to http://corpsdelitesalon.com/join-us/ or email us YOUR OUTLET. atFINDcontact@corpsdelitesalon. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT com https://www.youtube.com/ watch? feature =player_embedCLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ ded&v=AoysiBBXXQE
FIND YOUR OUTLET. MIND, BODY & SPIRIT RELAX, UNWIND, http://www.washingtonBusiness Opportunities REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS citypaper.com/ HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
Computer/Technical
General
Bert Smith & Company seeks f/t Senior IT Auditor in Washington, DC to lead, motivate, & direct Audit Team by providing necessary supervision & guidance. Contribute directly to professional development of audit staff. Travel req’d 10% of the time. Req’s Bach’s or frgn equiv in IT, Mgmnt Info Sys, or Comp Sci, or rel fl d & 5 yrs IT audit exp. Certifi ed Information Systems Auditor. References req’d. Email resume to: jthompson@bertsmithco.com
AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certifi ed Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualifi ed students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563
Construction/Labor Bidding September 2015 Capitol Gateway Marketplace
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, FIND YOUR OUTLET. UNWIND, RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT CLASSIFIEDS http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ HEALTH/ MIND, BODY &Driver/Delivery/Courier SPIRIT CBE Subcontractors for a new construction apartment building 312 UNIT MIXEDUSE MULTI-FAMILY PROJECT on East Capitol Street near the Capitol Heights Metro Station. This project is actively bidding now. Bids are due Friday October 9, 2015 at 12:00 PM. All interested subcontractors send e-mail to CGM@cbgbc.com or fax 703-294-4748 for more information.
Miscellaneous
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT FIND YOUR OUTLET. CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT MIND, BODY & SPIRIT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ FIND YOUR MIND, BODY & SPIRIT OUTLET.
Update your skills for a better job! Continuing Education at Community College at UDC has more than a thousand certifi ed online & affordable classes in nearly every fi eld. Education on your own. http://cc.udc.edu/continuing_education
Moving? Find A Moving? FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT Moving? Find A Helping CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ Helping Hand Today FINDAYOUR MIND, BODY & SPIRIT RELAX, Find Helping Hand Today OUTLET. UNWIND, T Hand Today RELAX, Moving? Find A REPEAT Moving? UNWIND, CLASSIFIEDS Moving? Moving? Find A Find A Helping REPEAT Out with the old, In withHand Today Helping HEALTH/ Out with the old, Find A Helping the new Post your CLASSIFIEDS In withToday the new MIND, BODY ng Moving? Hand listing with Washington Post your listing Helping Hand Today
EDS DY X, nciAT
gt-
, In st A yday ds
ty-
e the our
Administrative/Clerical/ Office
Local historical building seeks event security staff for evenings http://www.washingtonand weekend evenings to serve ascitypaper.com/ security for events, such as weddings, corporate, etc. Flexible schedule available, $11.00 - $14.00 per hour. For more info www.dar.org/job-openings
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
Find A Helping Hand Today
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
http://www.washingtonci#1 legitimate Online Job! typaper.com/ #1Online Job. $23/Hr. Flexible Hours. Easy Work & No Experience Required. Click Here To Apply Now. www. wealthyapostle.com
Make $1000 Weekly!! Mailing Brochures From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience Required. Start Immediately. www.theworkingcorner.com.
HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT http://www.washingtwith Washington City Paper Classifieds
oncitypaper.com/ http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
REAL PEOPLE http://www.washingtoncityREAL http://www.washingtpaper.com/ oncitypaper.com/ DESIRE REAL FUN
CHATLINE TM
Moving?
202.448.0113Find A
Try for FREE
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingt-
Takeout Taxi the areas leading oncitypaper.com/ Restaurant delivery service is hiring Drivers. Own vehicle required. Must be 21. Earn tips + commission. Must bring: -Insurance Declaration Page -Driving Record -Car Registration -Driver’s License Please apply at 10516 Summit Avenue 100 Kensington MD 20895. 301-571-0111
Hand Today
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Moving?
Find A Helping Hand Today
Ahora en Español
For More Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 www.livelinks.com Teligence/18+
Helping IND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, Hand NWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS EALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Today tp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, Out with the UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS old, In with LET. RELAX, new HEALTH/MIND, BODYthe & SPIRIT AT CLASSIFIEDS Post your http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ listing with BODY & SPIRIT Washington
& SPIRIT
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
City Paper Classifieds http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
Moving?
Find A Helping Hand MOVING? Today
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS Out with the HEALTH/ old, In BODY with MIND, theSPIRIT new & http://www washingtoncitypaper.com/
ypaper.com/
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Classifieds NDPaper TODAY
46 October 2, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com
Washington City Paper http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Classifieds
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
FIND A HELPING MOVING? FIND YOUR HAND FIND A MOVING? OUTLET. RELAX, Post your TODAY OVING? FIND A FIND A UNWIND, HELPING REPEAT listing with Out with the CLASSIFIEDS HELPING PING HAND TODAY Washington HAND City Paper old, In with HEALTH/ Out with the Classifieds the new Paper HAND MIND,your BODY City old, In with FIND Post TODAY MOVING? A Classifieds theIn new listing with Out with the old, with & SPIRIT Postlisting your Washington TODAY FIND A the new Post your HELPING HAND TODAY listing with City Paper with Washington City
ton-
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
http://www washingtoncitypaper.com/
Classifieds
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Out with theEgg Donors old, In with Needed the new Post your FinancialOutCompensation with the $8,000 FIND YOUR listing withIf you areold, a healthy In withwoman between OUTLET.the ages of 20-29 Washington the newand would like to help RELAX, City Paper an infertile couple, please email UNWIND, Post your info@dominionfertility.com Classifieds REPEAT listing with CLASSIFIEDS Washington HEALTH/ MIND, BODY City Paper Classifieds & SPIRIT http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingteggdonordc.com oncitypaper.com/
YUGE PUZZLE
Restaurant/Hospitality/ Hotel
BY BrEndan EmmEtt QUiGLEY 1
2
3
4
5
13
6
9
24
28
25
26
32
33
36
37
48
34
31
35 38
44
45
49
39
40
41
46
50
51 56
27 30
43
12
21
29
42
11
18 20
23
10
15
17 19
47
8
14
16
22
7
52
53
57
54
55
58
59
60
61
62
66
67
68
69
70
71
Across 1 Comic Ansari 5 ___ off the handle 9 The Hunger Games, e.g. 13 Kyocera ___ (imaging systems company) 14 Tank gunk 15 Unit for light bulbs 16 Labs on a luxury cruiser? 18 Old Treasury offering 19 Backup singer on “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” 20 Peers deliberating the case of the missing cookies? 22 BEQ fan, likely 24 Rural mail letters 26 Stew veggie 27 Comprehend 28 Go against 30 Swear up and down 32 Scared mariner? 36 Apartment on the ground floor
63
37 “___ Man Yells At Cloud” (meme) 38 All-Star who was banned for the entire 2014 season 42 Really tiny mystic? 47 Somewhat uncommon 50 Try to get a lot of gigs, say 51 Anger 52 NFC East team 54 Tip of Europe? 55 “___ The Greatest Dancer” (Sister Sledge) 56 Contributor to Sherpa Monthly? 59 Bike tire meas. 61 The Donald’s replacement on The Apprentice 62 Epic tents? 66 Flower in a chain 67 Calla lily, e.g. 68 High-speed ___ 69 Web letters 70 Dodgers manager Ned 71 Award Tiger Woods won a record 21 times
64
65
Down 1 Comic Schumer 2 ‘70s-’80s Pakistani leader 3 Targets of some paparazzi 4 Actor Steve on Modern Family 5 Selfie stick, e.g. (one can hope) 6 Soccer star Carli 7 Brand that is almost 3/4ths of the frozen waffle market 8 Couldn’t sleep 9 Email heading: Abbr. 10 “Eek!”
11 Dad rock and J-Pop, e.g. 12 “Having said that ...” 15 Smooth and connected 17 Chest 21 Actress Diane of Law and Order: SVU 22 Duncan product 23 Not taken 25 A handful 29 11th-century king of Denmark 31 Dinner’s on them 33 Stewbum 34 “___ About That Bass” 35 “Damn right!” 39 Green vehicles? 40 Undress with the eyes 41 Runs out of juice 43 Fish-eating hawk 44 “How long have you been standing there?” 45 Wild grp. 46 Popular tropical fish 47 Largest Saudi city 48 Point of Genesis? 49 Repair the sweater 53 “That’s a possibility” 54 Jason’s shipbuilder 57 Bit of smoke 58 Designer Saarinen 60 “Why not?” 63 Invoice no. 64 Wait for it! 65 Done with a wink
LAST WEEK: PICKING UP SOME LUNCH T W O A M
U N C L O G
T W E L V E
T S I K E I D
E D Y S
S A L A M A T Y P
M A A N B O E T A B N C E A N V G I A D T I E A
O N L Y W O E D O R A
O L A H O K U M T I C A K I T A I P I Z Z A N E R D E M Y S R I T A W S J A Y C A T H A I R N E A L P S N S U S H I T S E S A YOUR U FIND P E E P H ORELAX, L E OUTLET. I D UNWIND,LREPEAT A N G CLASSIFIEDS L T R E A T T O HEALTH/MIND, F O R E F F O R T BODY E V E N T& SPIRIT Y A M http://www.washingtR A K E S A P E oncitypaper.com/
Stonefi sh Grill, a Family-oriented Seafood/Southern American style restaurant is looking for part-time talented, professional, friendly and enthusiastic individuals who desire to provide a dining experience to guest by demonstrating genuine hospitality and delivering exceptional guest services in the dining and bar area while working in a team-oriented, guest-centric, sophisticated and contemporary environment. Positions(part-time): -Bartender -Server job requirements: - Must have at least 2 years restaurant experience. - Must be able to work nights, weekends and holidays. Locations: *1708 L Street NW Washington, DC 20036 *8500 Annapolis Road Ste J New Carrollton, MD 20784 If you meet these requirements, please stop by between Tuesday and Friday (11AM-8PM) to speak with a manager.
Salon Salon and spa in Georgetown is looking for a massage therapist licensed in Washington DC and able to perform Swedish, hot stone and pregnancy massages. We are looking for FT,PT and on call positions. Please submit your resume and availability to aveda.georgetown@gmail.com.
Computers
Tired of BS calls promising you a new website, #1 ranking on Google & doubling your business for less than the cost of a Starbucks Frappuccino? These telemarketers give people like us a bad name. So we came up with a solution... We’ll show your business clear results in advance of any payment, within 30min-1hr. on: SEO • PPC • Website • Video Marketing • Social Media • Content Marketing • Email Marketing • Mobile Marketing • Market/Competitor Research • Book Publishing • and Reputation Management • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • In advance for 100% FREE. If you see great results we can talk further. We are a team of #1 best selling authors in marketing & advertising and are also available to http://www.washingtspeak at events/conferences.We areoncitypaper.com/ only taking on 4 new accounts. Call us ASAP at 202-438-9199 or www.mindgamemarketing.com
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
Education
CUBAN + SOVIET + WORLD Poster Art Sale 10am-4pm Saturday Oct. 3 at 3319 O Street NW 500+ movie, art, propaganda & social cause posters. Most $25$150. Unusual gift & decorating possibilities. Have a question? CubanPosterGallery@msn.com
Cesar Chavez Public Charter School’s RFP for Tutoring and Psychological and Related Services contract. Full RFP guidelines can be request from: Ayana Malone, Director of Student Services ayana.malone@chavezschools.org
Musical Instruction/ Classes
Voice, Piano/Keyboards-Unleash your unique voice with outof-the-box, intuitive teacher in all styles classical, jazz, R&B, gospel, neo-soul etc. Sessions available @ my studio, your home or via Skype. Call 202-486-3741 or email dwight@dwightmcnair.com
Musician Services
Financial Services MUST SELL!!! 2011 MERCEDES-BENZ GL 550 – AMG package - LIKE NEW - 38K MILES - Exterior charcoal greyInterior Black Leather- Keyless entry. Excellent condition like new. Call 3018252974. $40,000
MONEY MANAGEMENT HELP Do you dislike reconciling your checkbook? Is your credit score low because of missed or late payments? Are you tired of trying to figure out how much you are spending? Do you have an older family member who needs help managing their finances? Let us help you! Call us! Edward W. Jackson, ERJ Consulting,LLC-301-219-2912. Member, American Association of Daily Money Managers
Garage/Yard/ Rummage/Estate Sales
Insurance AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855-9779537
Moving & Hauling Best Rate Movers. Home, offi ce & apartment. DC/VA/MD. Student discounts. Short-notice moves. Free estimates. Free boxes. Best rates in town! Call 24 hours, 202607-6156 - offi ce.
Real Estate Services Commercial NOTICE! Commercial? ______with all inherent rights___________ NOTICE! to all Municipalities. Local and National Governments. STATES. U.S. Agents. Attorney’s. Corporations. Persons. Vessels. Counties. Militaries. Courts. Untied States?of America. UNITED STATES. UNITED NATIONS. And to Territories in Possession of UNITED STATES. United States d/b/a Department of Home Land Security. United States Treasury Department. United Nations and United Nations Security Counsel.?Vatican. Indian tribes, Associated Bands and Clans. The following election to Occupy?the Offi ce of General Executor for RASHAWN LAMONT BLAKE JACKSON, Estate was held in the City of?Jersey city, Hudson County, State of New Jersey on January 15th 1987. For which I Rashawn Lamont Blake tribe Jackson, a American National, A man standing on the land Amexem/ Alkebulan/North America.? I have now accepted the position of General Executor, and General Guardian of the?divine Estate gifted and granted to me by the Divine Creator. Therefore, I affirm and?declare that upon occupying this offi ce, I will not be responsible for the payments of?any debts or obligations of the United States of America and neither for any payments?or Obligations of any debts for any United States Person/citizen. ======================== ======== by, Rashawn Lamont Blake tribe Jackson http://www.washingtonciGENERAL EXECUTOR typaper.com/ ======================== ======== For any questions or statements please feel free to contact Score13LLC@gmail.com
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
Moving? Find A Helping Hand Today
Antiques & Collectibles
RESTOCK LP COLLECTION. Big vinyl record sale. Jazz, R&B & Rock Records. Special bins of CLASSIC JAZZ MASTER Albums. $5.00 ea. or 5 for $20.00. More crates of R & B, Rock, Latin Blues and DIVAS, Many at $3.00 & $4.00 ea. SUNDAY SEPT. 27 @ G’TOWN FLEA MARKET 8am4pm behind Hardy Middle school PMeorgetown Funday .
This & That’s Yard Sale Every Sat & Sun at 5615 Landover Road Cheverly Md Vendor Space Available 202355-2068
ELECTRONICS DISH TV Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888992-1957
Miscellaneous Viagra!! 52 Pills for Only FIND YOUR OUTLET. $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and GuaranRELAX, UNWIND, teed Delivery. Call today 1-888REPEAT 403-9028 CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Pet Services
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Voice, Piano/Keyboards-Unleash your unique voice with outof-the-box, intuitive teacher in all styles classical, jazz, R&B, gospel, neo-soul etc. Sessions available @ my studio, your home or via Skype. Call 202-486-3741 or email dwight@dwightmcnair.com
Musicians Wanted SEEKING GUITAR TEACHER in Rockville, MD area to teach 80’s hard rock. Can already play the basics, looking for teacher to make me a pro. Call Wyatt, 301770-4917, wyattedwards218@ yahoo.com.
FIND YOUR General OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
A-1 DONATE YOUR CAR FOR BREAST CANCER! Help United Breast Foundation education, prevention, & support programs. FAST FREE PICKUP - 24 HR RESPONSE - TAX DEDUCTION 855403-0215
http://www.washingtCounseling oncitypaper.com/
Pregnant? Thinking of Adoption? Talk with a caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. Living Expenses Paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana.
Licensed Massage
FIND YOUR OUTLET.& Spas Excellent Massage by beautiful RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT therapists in Qi Spa. Swedish, Deep CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ Tissue, Hot Stone massage. 3106 M MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Street, NW, Washington, DC 20007.
www.qispadc.com. Appointment http://www.washingtonor walk-ins welcome. Ask for new citypaper.com/ therapist introductory Special! 202333-6344.
Moving? Find A
Heaven-On-Earth. You’ve tried the rest, now come to the best! 240-418-9530, Bethesda. MD Massage License #R00120.
Helping Hand Today Moving? Find A Helping Moving? Find A Helping Hand Today Pawticular Pet Care offers loving care for your medically needy, behaviorally particular, or older pet while you’re away from home.
Cars/Trucks/SUVs
Cash For Cars Any Car/Truck. Running or not! Top dollar paid. We come to you. Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com.
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ OutMIND, with the old, In BODY & SPIRIT
withhttp://www.washingtonthe new Post citypaper.com/ your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
Hand Today
Out with the old, In with the Out with theyour old, new Post In with the new FIND YOUR listing with Post your listing with Washington Washington OUTLET. City Paper City Paper Classifieds RELAX, Classifieds http://www.washingt-
UNWIND, REPEAT Moving? CLASSIFIEDS Moving? Find A Helping washingtoncitypaper.com October 2, 2015 47 Find A Helping HEALTH/ Hand Today MIND, BODY Hand Today & SPIRIT http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingtononcitypaper.com/ citypaper.com/
FIN OU RE UN RE CL HE MI &S
http onci