Silent Voices 2020 by Woodward Academy Student Publications

SILENT VOICES a literary arts magazine

Woodward Academy Volume XL

editor’s foreword As we observe the world around us changing, we can feel pressured to change with it. While positive change is necessary in our development, amidst more chaotic shifts, we may feel as if we lose parts of ourselves in order to find stability and purpose. Life’s uncertainties are immeasurable. To help combat this unpredictability, we frequent outside sources to find acceptance and guidance. However, by always searching outward for validation—or remaining envious of the lives and characters of others—we can forget the beauty and potential already within us. In this edition, we seek to emphasize a universal concept that when human beings connect with their inner selves—their individual, unique, and magnificent souls—they can find great strength and accomplishment. Genuine self-reflection provides a great foundation for beginning such a process. Thus, our base is chakras, a Sanskrit word translated as “wheels of energy.” These energy points are believed to directly correlate to humans’ physical, mental, and emotional states of being. Chakras emphasize how multiple aspects of our characters and personalities work together to develop us into beings brimming with potential. Navigating this edition, we wish to highlight the wisdom provided by the principles of the chakra system. We do not seek to impose these beliefs and practices upon you, but, instead reveal an avenue for learning and growth.

erin, victoria Thank You— To She whose light illuminated our paths so we could move forward. To She who broke barriers so we could become limitless. You are not forgotten. Your words are remembered, Your spirit is cherished, Your impact is eternal, You are loved. To She, victorious— May you prosper forever in excellence.

May you draw inspiration from each chapter and resonate with their teachings. Engaging with other cultures and listening to others’ stories is a wonderful means of understanding and connecting with the world around us. After all, wisdom is not limited in origin. Now, more than ever, it is time to take charge of your existence and well-being. Face the future with a humble confidence, and be committed to understanding the self and the world around you. Thank you for embarking on this journey. We hope that in reading, reflecting on, and embracing these pieces, they may help set you on a path of discovery, peace, and alignment. Blessings, The Editors

Muladhara | मूलाधार “root and basis of existence.”

-Sanskrit Translation

Energy: Earth Phrase: I Am Here, I Find: Grounding, Security, Stability Affirmation: I am peaceful and I am secure. Muladhara

मूलाधार (muºladºhaºra) is the first chakra, located at the base of the

spine. Known as the root chakra, this energy point deals with stability, survival, and instinct and is blocked by fear, low self-esteem, and anxiety. We are human, and we are complex. Within each of us lies a catacomb of feeling, experience, and thought. We are often the products of our environments, molded by the many aspects of this world, some of which we cannot yet change. When we become aware of these influences—as we begin to awaken our consciousness—we may begin determining how we allow them to influence our lives. In order to evolve, it is integral to learn and build from the grounds. For here, from our roots, we can find the strength to move forward. We ask you to begin this journey by grounding yourself. Lay bare the conditions of the present and acknowledge the state and planes in which you exist. Do not fear honesty—do not fear the truth. These revelations play a key role in revealing how we view the world and how we shape ourselves.

Here is where you exist—from here is where you grow.

muladhara

table of contents

Deception WORDS:

the buzzzzzzz of a bee scares me but not the bee itself.

Deception, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21 Apathy, FINLEY THURMAN ‘21

ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

Dollhouse, ANANDI BIEN-AIMÉ ‘20 School Butterflies, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21 To Chase A Shadow, ZACH GARDNER ‘22

ART: Double, MEGHA GUPTA ‘20 Devil’s Advocate, ERIN KIM ‘20 Ashley, OLIVER VETTORETTI ‘20 Self Portraits, AVA RINCON ‘20

MEGHA GUPTA ‘20 | “Double”| Digital Photography

muladhara

Apathy

Each time I grew lazier Ignoring it Sleeping

One summer there was a mosquito Trapped In my bedroom

Each day I itched Scratched Scabbed

It happened more than once I’d go to bed A shrill buzz in my ear

Apathetic I simply

At first I had no idea what it was My imagination? Until I started scratching I lifted my blanket, tried to shoo it away I tried Never saw it When my arms were tired of lifting the comforter I laid back Covered my head When I heard it again, I did the same thing Ruffled Sleepy

I woke up covered in itchy red bumps I scratched Itched

It came back the next night The next Again

ERIN KIM ‘20 | “Devil’s Advocate” | Film Photography

Slept

FINLEY THURMAN ‘21

Dollhouse Home— Your comfort Your playground Your palace. Home— Cooked meals, Bright photos, Warmth and cider, Vibrant colors, Souls warming by the fireplace, Love. You smile. You are home. But remember, Even when the memories fade,

muladhara

School Butterflies

Even when the paint peels back— Cracked walls, Broken tiles, Dusty shelves, Soulless appetites, Faded photos, Shattered dishes, Bitter lies, Smoldering fireplaces Shrunken hearts—

I’m scared of my test results. Why? It’s just paper. No, I mean It’s what I put on that paper. So then you’re scared of yourself?

Smile. ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

You are home.

ANANDI BIEN-AIMÉ ‘20

OLIVER VETTORETTI ‘20 | “Ashley” | Film Photography

AVA RINCON ‘20 | “Self Portraits” | Polaroid Film

muladhara

To Chase A Shadow To chase a shadow in an empty room Is to stand with your back to the sun. You cannot see the light. You can only see the darkness. The sun scalds your back, And you cry out to the void, But you are met by a sea of darkness. The shadow laughs and swims away. The void seems to cry back, But it is only the mockery Of the shadow racing back towards you. Your legs follow but your mind stays behind. Only the gibe, gibe, gibe Pierces your concentration As your legs follow and your mind catches up, The memories banging at floodgates. Serenity replaces concentration As you watch the fugitive shadow—the one you chased—drown As the floodgates slowly open, Bringing a sea of light cascading down with the memories.

ZACH GARDNER ‘22

Svadhishthana | स्वाधिस्ठान

table of contents

“self establishment.” -Sanskrit Translation Energy: Water Phrase: I Resonate

WORDS:

Here, I Find: Desire, Pleasure, Creativity Affirmation: I am a creative and dynamic being. Svadhishthana

स्वाधिष्ठान (svadºhisºthaºna) is the second chakra, located below

the navel. Known as the sacral chakra, this energy point deals with creativi-

Sit in the Rain, MIA CARSON ‘21 Vivida vis Animi, ISABELLA POLLYDORE ‘22 Indulgence, ANANDI BIEN-AIMÉ ‘20

ty, intimacy, and emotion, and is blocked by overindulgence, insecurity, and isolation. We are all inquisitive, talented, and capable beings. To supplement our in-

ART:

nate artistry, this world contains a variety of entities that seek to inspire and reward us on our paths to success and self-discovery. Yet, we must not lose ourselves in these rewards and desires, for we may risk our individuality and

Ceres, KEVIN CROMER ‘22

self-sufficiency. Just the same, we must not remain rigid in our lifestyles, nor

Metamorphosis, AVA RINCON ‘20

apathetic and fearful of what opportunities may present themselves to us.

The Dancer, DOROTHY RIPPS ‘21

Here, we ask you to dig deep and uncover what inspires you. Discover what

Crucify Me, LEAH GREER ‘20

resonates with your soul, and allow those objects to amplify the fire burning bright inside you. You are already a magnificent and unique addition to this Universe—do not be afraid to explore and experience this world and its wonderful offerings, but never for the sake of your beauty or spirit.

Here lie your passions—let them fuel you.

svadhishthana

Sit in the Rain I wanna sit in the rain. Watch it pour down around me and wash everything away. Let the tumultuous feelings sitting inside pour out into puddles on the ground That when the sun comes out will evaporate away Until the only thing left is green grass and sunshine Filtering through the branches and leaves of a garden of trees. I want to stand in the storm. Let the chaotic winds and thunder rip away at everything Until nothing but the debris of what stands strongest remains. I want to dance in the monsoon Twirl in the tempest and jete through the gales of wind Until they carry me away to the eye of the storm Where I can look up and see the sun for a moment A spot of light in the dark. I want to just be in the middle of the drizzle Watch it sprinkle over the seeds of new beginnings in the soil of hope and water the beautiful new buds as they bloom into flourishing flowers. I want to sit in the rain. Wait until the storm calms, the clouds clears, and the sunshine pours on my face Making me feel tranquil as a breeze on a summer day. I want to sit in the sun. MIA CARSON ‘21

KEVIN CROMER ‘22 | “Ceres” | Digital Drawing

svadhishthana

Vivida Vis Animi You were charming Your spirit was the color of fire Your chin was set like a graveyard Your eyes were ice Your face was cradled by waterfalls of hair But your hands... I had to know more about your hands I saw you in your room one night Just across from where I was sitting I knocked upon the door Tap tap tap And smiled when I opened it You were smiling too You were just playing hard to get I grabbed your hands You screamed happily My fingers Drifted over each of your fingers, tracing the lines on your hands Over and over and over

svadhishthana

But all of a sudden A string snaps The violin screams And so do I Sigh Our fight warms my mind transforms into fire My words tumbling as freely as sparks Flying Then falling With my gaze into my lap To see my hands And yours are the same I turn away from the mirror Sigh You would die in a few days anyway So why bother with this futile passion.

across your hands One line for life, one line for death, and one line for everything in between I reached for your hips

ISABELLA POLLYDORE ‘21

And i felt the press of your body against mine How intertwined out souls must be To feel this way Rocking back and forth To the silent lullaby That no one can hear but us It is strange but beautiful AVA RINCON ‘20 | “Metamorphosis” | Film Photography

svadhishthana

Indulgence

svadhishthana Previous page: DOROTHY RIPPS ‘21 | “The Dancer” | Painting

Reveling in your touch, I’d Etch my worries in your skin. I’d Center myself around you. Oxygen was not necessary,only your scent lingered Vinegar tasted like honey, your visits became homestays Electricity danced on my skin, and you took whatever you wanted. Repose never lasted long. You would Indulge me. Say you Needed me. Say you would Give me what no one else could. I let you— Tether your hands to my Heart. I let you Engrave your name in my body just to strike it out. dependency. addiction. corruption Lost in your touch, I lost myself. Obedient to your desires, forgetful of my needs, Stranded in your solar system until I Taught myself how to rule my own. No, I am— Outstanding. I can stand without you. Breathtaking. You no longer take mine. I am Just as magnificent as I was before you Enchanted me. I no longer Crave what you offer. How foolish To think that you possessed So many of the things I never lost. Pleasure. Warmth. Joy. Myself. ANANDI BIEN-AIMÉ ‘20

LEAH GREER ‘20 | “Crucify Me” | Painting

Manipura | मणिपूर “place of jewels.” -Sanskrit Translation Energy: Fire Phrase: I Do Here, I Find: Discipline, Power, Self-Esteem, Energy Affirmation: I can stand with strength and confidence. Manipura मणिपूर (maºniºpuºra) is the third chakra, located above the navel and below the sternum. Known as the solar plexus chakra, this energy point is connected with will-power, strength, and confidence, and is obstructed by feelings of arrogance, anger, fear, and shame. When forced to navigate unfamiliar territory—in experiencing life’s fluctuations—it can prove difficult to retain faith in ourselves and our convictions. We may begin to doubt our abilities, or regress into past, unevolved mindsets in search of familiarity. In moments of uncertainty and fatigue, it can feel hard to find strength. Remember that we are all pieces of this magnificent Universe, and thus, we all possess pieces of its power within us. Learn to appreciate your strengths, while remaining mindful of the areas in which you must grow. Learn to be decisive, motivated, and aware, but not arrogant, over-critical, and ignorant. Learn to be self-full—loving of self and dedicated to progress—and not selfish—overindulgent—and driven by ego and pride. In this section, we encourage you to practice being self-full. Be confident in your abilities, yet humble in attitude and performance. Always move with purpose and confidence. Do not be afraid to take charge of your actions and existence—no one can write your story better than you.

Here is where you harness your power.

manipura

table of contents

What I Did For You WORDS: What I Did For You, AVA SHUTZE ‘21 Growing Pains, STUART JAMES‘20

I cannot forgive Nor be forgiven I was mistaken I ran too fast to the wolf’s cry

Fine Line, AVA SHUTZE ‘21

Turns out sheep are lied to AVA SHUTZE ‘21

ART: Untitled, ERIN KIM ‘20 Divided, MIKAYLA SMITH‘20 Red Line, TEDDY OPRISCH ‘20

ERIN KIM ‘20 | “Untitled” | Mixed Media

manipura

Growing Pains

As a rapidly growing eight-year-old, I made my way downstairs to my

This period of graduating from high school and beginning

parents’ room, complaining profusely of growing pains. I took two painkillers,

college mimic the same sense of awkwardness, pain, and anticipation for the

tried not to complain, and felt secure in the comfort of my parents’ promise

future that I experienced during my elementary school growth spurts.

of being taller and stronger in the future. Physical pain has always been very easy for me to digest; it has a clear cause and usually a positive outcome.

I continue to remind myself of the beauty found in growing, the per-

fectly flawed results, and the sense of pride that awaits me. The growing pains

In 2020, the phrase “growing pains” has become more apparent than

I endured as an eight-year-old and the ones I experience currently will not be

ever, even though I will not be physically growing any taller. A new sort of

my last round, knowing that as I grow older and evolve into new phases of life,

growing pain manifests itself in the fear of my uncertain future. The past

I will likely find myself in the same patterns. Reflecting on my past phases of

two years of high school have featured long nights, unfinished dreams, silent

growing pains, I have finally found peace in my constant state of uncertainty.

progress, and struggling to find my own personal voice. This year, my growing pains are emotional, leaving me with constant mental unrest as I wrestle with opposing feelings of excitement and worry.

STUART JAMES ‘20

In May, I will graduate from high school. In June, I will turn eighteen.

In August, I will move to upstate New York for college and spend four years adjusting from life in the bustling city of Atlanta to the frigid village of Hamilton, nestled within the Adirondack Mountains.

I would be lying if I said I was not bursting with excitement for my life

to change this drastically. However, as the new phase of my life quickly approaches, I am forced to reflect on my past. I am not ready to leave my parents, my brothers, my dogs, my best friends, or even the barista who gives me coffee every morning. The phase of my life filled with abrupt change starts to resemble growing pains, with an unknown finish line. I am overjoyed that my future holds boundless opportunities, but the current phase of painful realizations, bittersweet goodbyes, and long-awaited milestones have become unsettling. However, I face a time in my life that parallels this feeling: growing pains.

MIKAYLA SMITH ‘20 | “Divided” | Painting

manipura TEDDY OPRISCH ‘20 | “Red Line” | Painting

Fine Line I walk a fine line Of cucumbers Of bricks Of thorns If I venture off to the right,

I’ll sail into the dark

forest of impending doom If I slip to left,

I’ll wade in the

sand forever

Yet if I stop,

The rain will surely

wash me back to the start

All I must do is continue No matter how fine the line is Or how dangerous it will become Move forward. Keep moving forward. It’s all you can do. It’s all you must do. It’s all anyone can do.

AVA SHUTZE ‘21

Anahata | अनाहत

table of contents

“unbeaten.” -Sanskrit Translation Energy: Air Phrase: I Feel Here, I Find: Empathy, Peacefulness, Forgiveness

WORDS:

Affirmation: I am grateful and I am loved. Anahata

अनाहत (aºnaºhaºta) is the fourth chakra, located in the center of the

chest. Known as the heart chakra, this energy point represents love, compassion, and forgiveness and is unbalanced by feelings of jealousy, mistrust, resentment, and apathy.

Hollow: Three Haikus, ANANDI BIEN-AIMÉ ‘20 If It Hurts, Repeat It, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21 Little Liars, ELIZABETH YU ‘22 My Sister, CLARA MANNES ‘22

The complexities of human emotion make it easy to allow negativity to fester in our hearts. We may be quick to allow anger and dissatisfaction to cloud our judgement and blind our outlook on the positive. We may breed jealousy

Love, BROOKLYN CARR ‘20 Photosynthesis, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

by demeaning the lives of others. We may create a pervasive attitude of entitlement by wanting all to work in our favor. We may hold on to past hurts in fear of being hurt again.

ART:

As a result, we can close ourselves off from experiencing the warmth of human connection. We must learn to acknowledge our emotional states and

Figure in a Box, KRISTIN ABERNATHY ‘20

be open to understanding how they play a role in our treatments of self and

Lily Pad, TESS DUNKEL‘20

those around us. Injury to the heart is inevitable; however, all rips and tears can be mended and healed with time and active care. Here, we ask you to assess your relationships with yourself and with others.

Infernal, AVA RINCON ‘20 Magenta, LEAH GREER ‘20 Blend, KRISTIN ABERNATHY ‘20

Allow vulnerability to inspire virtue and vigor. Remember, embracing such emotion does not imply weakness, but instead provides us pillars of strength and connection to the world. Growth—personal and emotional—is not a solitary process, nor is it a process devoid of compassion, care, and love.

Here, learn to be kind to yourself and to others.

anahata

Hollow: Three Haikus Hold “her” tight today—

If It Hurts, Repeat It

The girl who I used to be. Now, I stand broken.

i wanted to tell you what you had done for me. it kept repeating in my mind—

Yet I shed no tears, For the heart I never knew Shattered long ago.

the hollow shadow of wanting relief from pain. Je t’aime. Je t’aime. Je t’aime. Je t’aime. Je t’aime. no matter how many words, how many languages.

So please, hold on tight To the love I once gave you— I saved none for me.

KRISTIN ABERNATHY ‘20 | “Figure In A Box” | Paintinng

ANANDI BIEN-AIMÉ ‘20

Te quiero. Te quiero. Te quiero. Te quiero. Te quiero. my throat still bleeding. Ti amo. Ti amo. Ti amo. Ti amo. Ti amo. again. and. again. and. again. Ik hou van jou. Ik hou van jou. Ik hou van jou. Ik hou van jou. Ik hou van jou. over. and. over. and. over. Ich liebe dich. Ich liebe dich. Ich liebe dich. Ich liebe dich. Ich liebe dich. a thousand more times. T’estimo. T’estimo. T’estimo. T’estimo. T’estimo. nonstop.even in the dark. I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. and when i had no one else to run towards. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

anahata

TESS DUNKEL ‘20 | “Lily Pad” | Painting Oh, well. She might as well clean the house, instead of worrying over inflation. The brothers careened down The street on their wobbly bikes, While Mom gathered old wrappers into garbage bags And began to change the boys’ bedding. With a strong yank, the sheet Flew off and ballooned in front of her face. Comic book pages flapped, before fluttering to the ground. An hour later, the brothers scrambled, Preparing for Mom’s spanking. The eldest pulled on four pairs Of underwear before being called. With a little more time, the second brother Shoved on six; and the youngest Crammed himself into eight By the time his turn arrived.

Little Liars “We’ll go to the store And buy some milk, Mom.” With money in their scrawny hands, The three brothers scurried out the door. They returned with gallons of milk in their arms And comic books tucked in their jackets. Mom washed the dishes while the boys Snuck upstairs and stuffed their goods under their blankets. “Why is milk so expensive these days?” Mom pondered, examining the leftover coins.

The brothers pretended to flinch With every blow of the leather belt, But the extra underwear Padded their punished behinds. To them, the spankings were nothing. They bore through it with mischievous grins. However, to Mom, The spankings were tormenting. The second brother noticed How resigned Mom was as she Took the trash out And wiped the counter.

anahata

With weary eyes and shallow wrinkles, Emotionally drained, Mom hardly said a word, The spankings hurt Her more than it hurt them.

My Sister My parents often tell us, That when my older sister Met me for the very first time She put her hands around my neck.

ELIZABETH YU ‘22

Squeezed me to her And wouldn’t let go. When I was four, she didn’t let go of my hand When our mother yelled at us For breaking a vase her aunt gave her. I don’t think she had never been angrier with me and my sister, But my sister wiped my tears for me And comforted me the whole time, Reading me stories of mystery and magic, Until her words caressed me into a gentle sleep. Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time, To the years when my sister would go Play hide and seek for hours on end with me Until my parents would yell at us Because I couldn’t be without her. Pleading and pulling on her sleeve, She would always first say no. Bu then my tears would well up, And she would roll her eyes, Letting me drag her into my room, A tiny smile barely visible on her lips. I remember the weeks when I barely spoke to her, And I wish I could go back in time

AVA RINCON ‘20 | “Infernal” | Mixed Media

To change the way I treated my sister.

anahata

I remember the weeks when I barely spoke to her, And I wish I could go back in time To change the way I treated my sister. I would tell myself to go dance with her or do anything

Love so all the screaming dies down and the opinions and miscommunications and outside influences silence,

that had meant so much to us when we were young. I wish someone had told me That one day I would miss her, When it was no longer just the two of us Together all the time, When she had other people to be with and other places to go, And I had to sleep in my room alone with my sister, Eyes wide open without comfort from her by my side. And now that my sister lives 2,151 miles away from me, She still doesn’t let go And I still run to her Every single time when I miss her by my side.

and we grow. we grow into two human beings instead of one relationship, and we change and we evolve and we grow. apart from all this, apart from the fights and the tears and the please don’t gos, there is still something. maybe a spark. a flicker, a small lightning bug. perhaps we can make it back. back to when we used to dream about our lives together years down the line. perhaps we can forgive and try again and really make it this time. perhaps just maybe we can find love in each other again.

The distance between us Has not broken our bond. Everything she comes home, She sleeps in my bed, Just like she did when we were young, As if nothing has changed.

CLARA MANNES ‘22

maybe we can make it. but until then, i’ll see you later. i’ll see you when the sun sets and i’m alone with my thoughts. i’ll see you when you’re sitting directly across the class and i’ll see you when you’re holding your new lover’s hand. and maybe all the promises made to me by others will finally come true but not with them, with you. and call me naive and maybe even desperate, but that flicker is something that i can’t seem to forget, for it makes me want to grow right back into loving you. so lastly, don’t forget to call me up six years from now when we’re all grown up.

anahata

KRISTIN ABERNATHY ‘20 | “Blend” | Painting and maybe something you saw reminded you of me and you realized that you feel the flicker too. it makes your chest feel warm and your fingers a little cold. i don’t know, this is just what i think of after we get off the phone. anyways, see you soon. love, someone who never quite stopped loving you.

Photosynthesis BROOKLYN CARR ‘20 show me how to build life from my seeds. how to dig up your laughter and bathe you in it forever. how how how how how how

to to to to to to

be oxygen. be your encourage-mint. root for you. make your heart beet. keep you alive. bury your worries and cover them with dirt.

how to raise a fruited home for us to thrive in, to nourish more life in. show me how to keep you safe from the outside world in our green sanctuary. LEAH GREER ‘20 | “Magenta” | Painting

ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

Vishuddha | विशुद्ध “purest.”

-Sanskrit Translation

Energy: Ether: Space Phrase: I Communicate Here, I Find: Creative and Self Expression, Truth Affirmation: I will speak truthfully and purposefully. Vishuddha

विशुद्ध (visºhudºdha) is the fifth chakra, located in the center

of the throat. Known as the throat chakra, this energy point focuses on communication, speech, truth, and is hindered by hesitation, fear of speaking, and difficulty listening. When seeking acceptance in society, we may find ourselves adopting and mimicking the mannerisms and tones of others. In fear of upsetting a status quo, we may suppress our voices, disregard perspectives, and reject contrasting viewpoints. However, pervasive conformity can yield skewed outlooks on reality, and prevent deeper analysis, observation, and understanding. Such conformity can make us more prone to second-guessing who we are. When we place too much value in communicating only our viewpoints, we may inadvertently suppress others’ voices. We must practice being confident in our expression, yet mindful to not inhibit other’s. Speak not with anger and arrogance, but with patience, clarity, and purpose. It is integral to listen to others and be open to constructive assessments, but do not allow another’s convictions to demean your spirit. Your perspective and experiences are valid and valuable. At this juncture, we implore you to find and communicate your truths. Proclaim to the world you are present, capable, and unafraid to move forward; however, always open to collaboration and observation. Do not doubt yourself and do not be afraid to express yourself. Your voice is powerful—do not let it remain silent.

Here, you express yourself. 42

vishuddha

table of contents

WORDS: 2020, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21 what happened to my innocence? , BROOKE YAMADA ‘22 Mute, ISABELLA POLLYDORE ‘22

ART: Reaping Angel, ERIN KIM ‘20

ERIN KIM ‘20 | “Reaping Angel” | Photography

Lady Liberty, MICHAEL CHAPIN ‘20 Waves, MEGHA GUPTA ‘20 Submarine, VAUGHN AMBRUS ‘22 Flutter, JANA KABAKIBOU ‘21

2020 is it time for us to be heard now?

ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

vishuddha

what happened to my innocence?

Mute

what happened to my innocence where did you go?

We sit

is there a reason you left me, to fend for my own? what happened to my innocence where might you be?

With legs crossed In a room 4 padded walls 4 sounds like death in Chinese But we dare not hear the sound Silence

perhaps under a palm tree or where the birds and bees sing what happened to my innocence how were you washed away?

What a strange concept Total isolation from a sense Of empathy There is no peace in silence For it is never complete

did the liquor take your voice? did the drugs leave you astray? what happened to my innocence? did you run off with that boy?

Slipping through the cracks of hands That cover mouths and ears That raise borders and draw lines in the sand These are the very hands that create progress The progress that separates you and I

oh my poor innocence, he’ll only treat you like a toy.

How can we keep pushing forward

what happened to my innocence did time finally catch you?

Like a creak of a floorboard

did the toy guns we used to shoot say their last bullet, too? my innocence, I miss you. I know I’ll see you soon.

While the cries of agony slip through the cracks Wake me up from the nighttime that is my ignorance There is no peace in silence Of the shhh that echoes throughout our ears when we fail to speak But anger Hatred For ourselves For those who refuse to speak Turn their blind eyes

BROOKE YAMADA ‘22

Cover their ears MICHAEL CHAPIN‘20 | “Lady Liberty” | Painting

vishuddha

vishuddha MEGHA GUPTA ‘20 | “Waves” | Painting

As to not be disturbed By the wails of agony Around their feet They stomp on the back of reality And she shrieks loud enough to make our ears bleed And our blood boil May she slam us to the ground with her So that we may finally hear the sound The crack of a spine That reverberates through hollow wells of our bodies Twisting our souls Paralyzing us with rage So that we may finally feel again And look at ourselves not with pity But with the pride of all we have endured Filling our lungs with suffocation That scrapes our throats with burning fury Bringing us to our knees in prayer So that we may cough up the thick coating Of slime that makes us feel every breath so acutely Heaving out our compassion May you pin me down May I bleed May I choke on the gag you place in my mouth So that I can say I tried May I die in sacrifice So I may declare, that instead of tasting freedom in this country I taste blood. VAUGHN AMBRUS ‘22 “SUBMARINE” | Music

ISABELLA POLLYDORE ‘22

vishuddha

JANA KABAKIBOU ‘21 | “Flutter” | Painting

Ajna | आज्ञा

table of contents

“command.” -Sanskrit Translation Energy: Ether: Light Phrase: I See Here, I Find: Insight, Intellect, Vision

WORDS:

Affirmation: I will allow my learned intuition to guide me. Ajna आज्ञा (ajºna) is the sixth chakra, located in the center of the forehead.

What Is A Poem? , BEAU SODEMANN ‘21

Known as the third-eye chakra, this energy point is associated with intuition

Dimensional Quarantine, ISABELLA POLLYDORE ‘22

and creativity, and becomes occluded by obsession, rigidity in thought, and

The Colored Pencil, AVA SHUTZE ‘21

lack of imagination.

Studio Art, MICHAEL CHAPIN ‘20

When we maintain rigid lifestyles devoid of creativity, moments of inspiration and genuine enjoyment may come sporadically. When we give into the pressure to think and act a certain way—to live for approval rather than vir-

ART:

tue—we may move against our natural instinct. Such disconnection from our intuition can prevent us from doing what we know to be most beneficial for our minds, bodies, and spirits. However, when we invest too much in vision and fantasy, we begin severing

Red House, COLE STOREY ‘20 Nocturne, KEVIN CROMER ‘22

our connections with reality. While daydream can be a powerful motivator for

Photo Reel, DELANEY HASEN ‘21

tangible action, daydream must not become nightmare. Therefore, our guid-

Chair, LEAH GREER ‘20

ing voices must be rooted in reality, but cognizant of infinite creative

Looking Glass, MICHAEL CHAPIN‘20

possibility and mental capability. As we transition into our final chapters, we ask you to practice listening to your inner voice. Be open to analyzing the world through a deeper, more imaginative lens. Be committed to finding the beauty of this universe, even in the most unlikely of places. Be in tune with the creativity of your voice, mind, and soul. Be open to finding inspiration within the self.

Here, you shall look towards the bright future you will create for yourself. 52

ajna

What Is A Poem? What is a poem? Is a poem but a composition in verse, Or is it more? Must a poem tell some message? Must a poem have a purpose? Is a poem not art, And should not art be about its viewer? Art is about one’s interaction and what one gets from it. It is not about conveying some message, Its purpose need only be to entertain its viewer.

Dimensional Quarantine Blegh Do you ever feel like you just want to throw up every word you’ve ever thought? Right upon the ground And watch it burn a hole Into cement And jump thro↓ugh the hole Into a world that is completely gray And P aint it full of bright c O lors And hallucinations So that the people the R e Can understand

Art with a purpose or a message has no inherent flaw, But why are poems viewed so commonly as being about its purpose or message? Why can a poem not simply be an entertaining phrasing of words? Why must it do more than just entertain?

Wha T your mind looks like A nd then you would make them go dizzy With dreams of death So that they could draw a map of your mind When even you don’t rea L ly know where your mind is Perhaps it’s here?

BEAU SODEMANN ‘21

Her-e + He-re

Maybe here H E

But then again it could very well be here

R E Or here. Depends on the day I guess. COLE STOREY ‘20 | “Red House” | Painting

ISABELLA POLLYDORE ‘22

ajna

ajna /////// not purple but orange quiet and loud Proper burnt twas

KEVIN CROMER ‘22 | “Nocturne” | Painting

thus a golden brown and then an inked yellow sunbursts and all //// i exchanged the pencil for a new one of coal black hued pink on the paper stilled red chummed lilac brittled green / what i drew was not the unfinished shades of the intending frames but that was alright it was still what i had meant just speckled with the colors of the universe as it

The Colored Pencil ///

should be.

AVA SHUTZE ‘21

i wanted to draw a picture so i took my black colored pencil and drew the first line // what was left on the paper a thin trace of purple bright and exact i erased through redrew

DELANEY HASEN ‘21 | “Photo Reel” | Photography

ajna

Studio Art (Grow Young Pt 1) It’s a small room made smaller by the easels and the scattered cans of paint, paint covering the floor in a pinwheel of color, windows soaring high to illuminate the mess. I’ve sought refuge here since I was fourteen, in and out of this studio that’s largely remained unchanged. I cannot say the same for myself when I look in the mirror taped to the side of my easel, reflection wavering between the cracks and paint smears. I’m taller now, of course, smarter, but harder too. I don’t smile with the ease that I used to, and I see now that I myself have become a painting. I see the layers covering my canvas in messy strokes, memories immortalized in acrylic, mistakes I can never forgive or forget, hurts I cannot un-commit. Looking at my reflection now,

I’m harder yes, but nuanced too, worldly wise and yet wide eyed as ever. I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve made changes too, and I’ve repainted my sunsets with starlight, and my starlight with sunrises, and now, looking at my reflection splintered in the mirror taped to the side of my easel, all those layers, all of the torments I’ve weathered, all of the tears I spilled like paint on the floor, it all falls into place. It’s a small room made smaller by the easels and the scattered cans of paint, paint covering the floor in a pinwheel of color, windows soaring high to illuminate the mess. It hasn’t changed, but I have.

I’m realizing there’s nothing left of the boy who used to hold paint brushes, like pencils.

I think I’ll add it to my painting.

Or maybe there is.

MICHAEL CHAPIN ‘20

Being here, staring at my reflection in the mirror taped to the side of my easel, I’m starting to think that maybe those layers make me Me. I am not the child who stood here all those years ago, and who could expect me to be, least of all myself.

LEAH GREER ‘20 | “Chair” | Painting

ajna

MICHAEL CHAPIN ‘20 | “Looking Glass” | Photography

Sahasrara | सहस्रार

table of contents

“thousand-petaled.” -Sanskrit Translation Energy: All Phrase: I Understand

WORDS:

Here, I Find: Enlightenment, Peace Affirmation: I am a part of all, and all is in me.

Bobbing for Pineapples, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21 Sahasrara

सहस्रार (saºhasºraºra) is the seventh and final chakra, located slight-

ly above the head. Known as the crown chakra, this energy point is connected with intelligence, open-mindedness, and spiritual connection and is blocked

Fiction, MICHAEL CHAPIN ‘20 Healing Capsule of Matter, ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

by close-mindedness, materialism, and aimlessness. Though we and this world are imperfect, we are all astonishing and innovative entities. Though our time on this plane may be finite, we are not limited in energy and potential. There is much more to life than we can see and

ART:

possess; there is also what we feel and understand. It is up to us to decide whether we will contribute to this world’s virtuous evolution. It is up to us to decide whether we wish to achieve happiness, consciousness, and—an imper-

Pink and Green, CECE PITTMAN ‘20

fect perfection—harmony.

Growth, TESS DUNKEL ‘20

Lastly, we ask you to become. Become one with the world, one with yourself, and one with the divine. Be secure, spirited, compassionate, vocal, thoughtful, and aware. Allow positive, harmonious energy to resonate with your spirit and guide you on your path. Let go of the attachments that prevent you from connecting with your extraordinary higher-self. Never fear this magnificent Universe of which you are a part. Go forth and prosper—an incredible life awaits you.

Here, at the center of your being, you know who you are and what you want. You are connected to and conscious of the world around you. You are boundless, and you are at peace. You are understand, and you are aligned. 62

sahasrara

Bobbing for Pineapples Maybe if I was upside down, the sun would shine brighter. Brother, do not mistake the ruler in the water for a pine-cone. Do not mistake the leaves on the crown for money. Have you ever tasted the pineapple juice from the rain? Mama, it’s sweet and delicate with a punch of sorrow. I wish I could come up for breath; the spikes keep poking me, so I keep bleeding acidic blood. I wish I could grab onto it and hold it forever. But the fruit, no matter how scrumptious and flavorful, will continue to float. Half above the earth and half below, it will melt into the roots, plant itself a new home, and prosper in the depths of its ancestry. Soon, fields and fields of pineapples will decorate the desolate droughts of grain. The air will smell like the beauty of a heart no longer wanting to lie to itself. You may want to catch the fruit and prosper in its glory and possessions, but it will first have to puncture your fragility. Hoaloha, in all your processes of attempting to obtain the golden flower of the island, don’t forget that the thing you most want can also be hurt in the process of your war.

ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

sahasrara

Fiction

CECE PITTMAN ‘20 “ | “Pink and Green” | Painting

I’ve built myself out of coffee stained poetry and crumpled movie scripts, cut my face from magazines and backstreet billboards people have forgotten about. I take my personality from the pages of fiction novels because they are the kind of people I wish to be– brave and kind, redeemable and true, beautifully imperfect with scars that shine like the stars. I guess somewhere along the way, I fell in love with this other me, this collage of finger worn pages and almost-dids and wish-we-woulds, the summation of every character I’ve ever loved. How could I not? His regrets and mistakes are blazingly glorious where mine are beige, and he basks in the glow of his success when I tell myself I don’t deserve it. He is fiercely proud, roars challenges at the sun that I never would and dares the world to praise him for all of the light he can bring. While I stay at home in the company of a cat and the crinkling of book pages, he basks in the afterglow of afterparties seducing men like the moon cajoles the tide from her bed as above him, moths cluster about the buzzing porch light like my regrets crowd the overtaxed recesses of my mind. Now, I think I regret making him.

sahasrara

I pieced him together as an escape, a chance to be the man I wanted to be and to be seen as the man the world wanted to see. But now I cannot escape him. His is the voice I hear when I talk, his is the confidence with which I walk. I see him in every surface I pass, in the distortion of car windows and the blue light of the airport bathrooms where time moves just a little differently. But he is not me at least, he wasn’t supposed to be. somewhere along the way I think I became that character I pieced together, stopped writing my own story and started living his. His life is alluring, perfect where mine is tarnished with rough hewn edges. He has and is everything I want and more. But he is not me and it is my life I choose to lead. I’ve sat alone with my flaws through the darkest nights, carved them down until I could see their core while he whittles his away with cheap liquor and the caress of men who vanish the next morning leaving nothing behind except the smell of cigarillos and the aftertaste of bitter lies. And when we look in the mirror, I am the only one who can love what I see because all he is is a work of fiction black and white type where I am in blazing color.

Healing Capsule of Matter The mystic fog guided me through the grief. Healing crystals made out of plastic were no longer worthy of my time. Passing these painful emotions took so much more work than just the regular silent rituals and stark aromas of sage and pine- straw. It took months and months of suffering. Weeks and days of sitting in my salted blood, red tears, and flesh-eating regrets. Non-stop hours spent tilting the hourglass ‘till the sand no longer cascaded down in agony. Millions of seconds trying to forgive the cracked lines in my hands. Being emotionless was a pathetic escape to the darker side of the cave.

I found moments of peace in the bustling staircases and shadowy canteens filled to the brim with post-stamps and leaking gas tanks. After years of dwelling on the acidic poison, I began to see things: tilted coffee cups on the outdoor tables, abandoned kites, a polar bear walking along a boardwalk, and purple licorice rings shining from a window display.

Time took healing. Healing meant befriending the monsters. Monsters called myself.

ELLA SHUTZE ‘21

MICHAEL CHAPIN ‘20

sahasrara

Head Editors Anandi Bien-Aimé ‘20 Tess Dunkel ‘20 Staff Naomi Censullo ‘20 Michael Chapin ‘20 Zach Gardner ‘21 Ashley Glass ‘21 Leah Greer ‘20 Cece Pittman ‘20 Amari Price-Cotten ‘22 Ella Shutze ‘21 Jordan Tovin ‘22 Elizabeth Yu ‘22 Adviser Ms. Rebekah L. Goode Special Thanks Mrs. Anu Bielfelt Mr. Andy Cunningham Mr. Chris Greenway Ms. Lorri Hewett

Cover Credits Sketch and painting by Tess Dunkel ‘20. Created in Adobe Indesign CC by Ella Shutze ‘21.

About Silent Voices Silent Voices is a year-long collection of art, both literary and visual. Silent Voices provides a space for free creative discussion and expression. We began with over 160 submissions and created a book with 65 pieces. Students across the Upper School submit throughout the year, and our editorial board blind critiques each piece and vouches for entry into the magazine. The title, “Silent Voices,” comes from Tennyson’s poem of the same name: When the dumb Hour, clothed in black Brings the Dreams about my bed, Call me not so often back, Silent Voices of the dead, Toward the lowland ways behind me, And the sunlight that is gone! Call me rather, Silent Voices, Forward to the starry track Glimmering up the heist beyond me On, and always on!

Awards JEA 2019 Diversity CSPA Gold Crown Finalist NCTE REALM Highest Award NSPA Best of Show 2nd Place Literary Magazine, Spring 2018 Printing Industries of America Premier Print Award Certificate of Merit 2019 Printing Industry of Georgia’s Best Category in Juvenile Books

Design This year’s design is focused on personal alignment and chakras. Chakras are a prevalent element and practice in certain forms of Hindi and Buddhist cultures. To honor and pay respects to these origins, extensive research was done to ensure these principles were represented accurately. The books’ sections and colors transition from deep red to violet, with each color representing its respective chakra. The chakras ascend, in alignment, in the center of the body. However, it is integral to understand that no energy point is more important than another. We encourage you to further your research regarding chakras and the traditions that surround them. alignment /ə’līnmənt/ noun 1. a position of agreement or alliance 2. spiritual harmony Colophon Silent Voices was produced via Apple computers running Google Drive and Adobe Indesign CC. All body text for prose and credit was Merriweather Light (10pt.), and titles were Merriweather UltraBold Italic (22pt). Silent Voices was printed by Bennett Graphics in Tucker, GA.

TESS DUNKEL ‘20 | “Growth” | Painting