Watermark issue 17.08: Spring Cleaning

YOUR LGBT LIFE. Focus on

ISSUE 17.08 | APRIL 15-APRIL 29, 2010 WATERMARKONLINE.COM

Spring Cleaning & Home Improvement: De-cluttering the Clutter Bug Top tips for improving your space Florida-friendly gardens

Sarasota Pridefest 2010 moves outdoors

Finding her truth D AY T O N A B E A C H

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ORLANDO

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Halcyon duo

opens Ybor music venue

"One Mighty" comeback at Gay Days?

Melissa Etheridge returns with a new album and a new focus on LGBT activism

S T. P E T E R S B U R G

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S A R A S O TA

| April 15-April 29, 2010

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

watermark | preview

| April 15-April 29, 2010

issue 17.08

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BECOMING A MAN IN 127 EASY STEPS PG.34

Writer and performer Scott Turner Schofield brings his tale of being born a female but becoming a male in Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps at the David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts in Tampa this month.

Melissa Etheridge is back in the spotlight with a new album and a new focus on the battle for LGBT equality.

6 | Orlando News A “One Mighty” event is on track to return to Orlando’s biggest gay gathering; HRC wants to hear Sen. Nelson’s stance on DADT; more.

ORLANDO NEWS

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8 | Tampa Bay News Stephanie Callahan and Deb Hunseder of Halcyon open a new music venue in Ybor City; St. Pete attorney David Schauer files suit against Florida’s attorney general; more.

13 | Nation+World News Census Bureau urges counting same-sex couples; Army changes view on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”—again; more.

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27 | Publisher’s Perspective TAMPA BAY NEWS

Watermark publisher Tom Dyer looks at Alex Sink’s Florida gubernatorial race and discusses what isn’t working for the Democrat.

29 | Scene+Heard

SCENE+HEARD

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Lesbian rock icon Melissa Etheridge returns to the spotlight with a brand new album and a renewed focus on LGBT equality.

The Big Gay Sketch Show returns to LOGO for a third fabulous season. Becoming a man isn’t easy, and Scott Turner Schofield should know—he was born female. Stephen Miller looks at Hollywood’s newest offerings.

10 / SARASOTA NEWS 11 / STATE NEWS 14 / TAMPA BAY MARKETPLACE 18 / ORLANDO MARKETPLACE 26 / MAIL 29 / SCENE+HEARD 32 / FILM REVIEWS 38 / EVENT PLANNER 40 / TAMPA BAY OVERHEARD 41 / ORLANDO OVERHEARD 50 / TRANSITIONS 51 / ADVICE

43 | Spring Cleaning and Home Improvement

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KNOW+TELL

Staying organized can be tricky, especially for the clutter bugs among us. We help a local student de-clutter his life.

Professionals give us tips on redesigning your living space— inside and outside. And, creating a garden that is Florida-friendly can mean years of enjoyment.

52 / SPORTS 53 / CLASSIFIEDS 54 / GOSSIP

watermark | preview

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

editor’sdesk I

Arguing that the question is out of the norm makes no sense. There have not n case you’ve been living under a rock or have been out of the country been any major changes to this year’s form. In fact, it takes an act of Congress for the past six months, the 2010 U.S. Census is underway. Ten simple (literally) to change the questions. questions have landed in mailboxes across the country, asking about To suggest that the race question or others make this year’s Census race, the number of people in the home and marital status. Forms should be unconstitutional is absurd. It’s another Tea Bagger attempt to stress out the Fox returned to the Census Bureau no later than Friday, April 16.

News viewership and paint Obama as an awful, Kenyan socialist.

The whole process seems pretty straightforward and I’m excited to According to an article from the Houston Chronicle, early Census returns participate this year. During the 2000 Census, I was in the midst of moving show conservatives have been measurably less likely than liberals to return from Missouri to Florida and regrettably did not fill out the paperwork. This their Census forms. year, I dutifully completed the form the moment it hit my mailbox and sent Many on the left have celebrated the far-right’s movement to ignore the it out the following day. My partner and I will be counted as “unmarried Census, saying that the Conservative movement will be partners” since our California marriage isn’t underrepresented on the federal level, thus boosting a recognized in Florida. Looking back, I should have more liberal representation in the final report. checked the “husband” box when defining our Hoping that those with whom we disagree politically relationship. But we will be counted as partners. I’m Is there anything that don’t get counted when it comes to federal funding happy about that. the far-right won’t blow is just as ridiculous as endorsing the boycott of the While the option isn’t a perfect way to count Census. If everyone isn’t counted, congressional LGBT people in the Census, it’s a marked step in the out of proportion? representation is incorrectly correlated and funding for right direction—that is, if everyone participates. My schools and public works projects could be underinbox is flooded daily with messages from LGBTcalculated. rights groups reminding me to check the appropriate As far as the LGBT representation on the Census goes, the far-right is box to ensure my relationship is counted. concerned about campaigns to represent our community. Members of the Census data, of course, is used to create a “snapshot” of our society. It transgender community are encouraged to check their “true” gender and also focuses appropriate funding for different communities while ensuring same-sex couples are saying they are married, even though the country appropriate representation in our national governmental system. doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages. The numbers will no-doubt show how But as the federal government wraps up its decennial obligation, far-right many members of our community truly are American citizens—and religious conservatives have also ramped up the debate over its composition and use. A conservatives are freaking out. movement to refuse to answer the race/ethnicity question has gained some That’s a good thing. momentum, while some have suggested not answering the questionnaire at all.

While the Census does not specifically address LGBT citizens, it does take Is there anything that the far-right won’t blow out of proportion? a marked step forward. For the first time in history, the United States will see Their argument is that this year’s Census is unconstitutional because it is just how common LGBT relationships are in communities in every state of the too far reaching and invades personal space. The reality is that the question of country—and hopefully lawmakers will finally recognize an underrepresented race, which the far-right is screaming is unconstitutional, has been a part of portion of their districts. | l | the Census since the 1790 form under George Washington. Of what, exactly, are they afraid?

Steve Blanchard EDITOR

SteveB@WatermarkOnline.com

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watermark | orlando news

| April 15-April 29, 2010

HRC wants Nelson to speak out against DADT jami hyman

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Orlando | Central Florida LGBT activists are honing in on Senator Bill Nelson to vote for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” but for the time being, Nelson is keeping quiet about where he stands.

Grant Schnell, a press assistant for Nelson, said, “Sen. Nelson’s inclined to support repeal of the ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell’ policy, but wants to see the study Secretary Gates announced of how this would impact the military.”

He’s referring to Secretary of Defense Robert Gates’ request for a year-long review of the policy to determine the procedures for repeal.

Nelson’s lack of conviction leaves his office doors wide open for lobbying from the Orlando Human Rights Campaign and other activists from around the state. The bill repealing DADT is titled the Military Readiness Enhancement Act. “We feel like Florida is ground zero since both U.S. Senators from Florida sit on the Arms Services Committee,” said Randy Stephens, political co-chair of the HRC Orlando Steering Committee.

Orlando HRC Committee members traveled to Washington, D.C., for a lobby week, and after some difficulty, they say they were able to secure a meeting with Celeste Brown, one of Nelson’s staff members. Karim Quimby, HRC regional field director, called it “a good visit” and said now their focus is on building constituent support, encouraging citizens to call Nelson’s office and voice their desire that he support the Military Readiness Enhancement Act. She confirms that Nelson hasn’t yet responded directly but said they’re working to set up meetings in his office.

Orlando attorney John Ruffier is on the HRC Board of Directors. He confirms that Nelson has been quiet on the issue so far, but said that’s not unusual for Nelson.

Local activists are targeting “He is always Florida senator Bill Nelson to one who likes to vote for the repeal of “Don’t sort of wait until Ask, Don’t Tell.” the last minute to say which way he’s voting, and might give him leverage on other things,” Ruffier said. “Most people on the committee would be surprised if he didn’t vote for the repeal, and if he didn’t, Sen. Nelson would understandably expect some backlash.”

He said it’s time to turn up the heat.

“Until he does vote or make a public statement, it’s important to keep the pressure on [Nelson], because certainly the other side is pressuring him to vote the other way,” said Ruffier. “It’s important, though, to realize that just because he hasn’t publicly said how he’s going to vote, it’s not necessary to take an angry stance.”

When asked whether Orlando activists are getting impatient or frustrated by Nelson’s non-action, both Stephens and Ruffier cited a nationwide frustration that the repeal is taking so long.

Still, Ruffier said he’s optimistic.

“Nelson is not one to be out in front of the issue, but he usually votes the right way,” said Ruffier. “I would be surprised and extremely disappointed if he did not vote for repeal.” | l |

briefs Christian network TBN settles harassment suit

See Fred for a 2010 FORD FLEX. THE NEW STANDARD IN NONCONFORMANCE.

A gay former engineer at the Orlandobased Christian broadcast giant Trinity Broadcasting Network has settled a $2 million civil lawsuit that alleged his employer harassed him for his sexual orientation. The lawsuit alleged that Paul Crouch Jr., the son of founders Jan and Paul Crouch, told Brian Dugger to stop being ``gay,’’ teased Dugger in front of others and told him to take more interest in women. Court papers show Dugger settled with TBN for an undisclosed amount.

Echo creates new voter registration app

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Echo Interaction Group, an Orlando-based, gay-run ad agency, has teamed with Project Vote to create a new application targeted

at voters. The widget will collect voter data, process it and upload the information to state elections officials. It is compatible with all iPhone, Blackberry and Symbian based operating systems—including the iPad— and will be officially unveiled in May. Right now, Florida is not among the four states that allow online voter registration.

New LGBT-friendly charter school to open doors Orlando’s gay and lesbian students will have a new choice for education this coming school year. The Central Florida Leadership Academy is now taking enrollment for 6th and 7th graders and is set to open in August. The school’s leaders are committed to making the school a safe haven for gay and lesbian youth. It’s located on Primrose Avenue, with open houses scheduled for Apr. 21 and May 8. For more information, visit CFLAcademy.org.

watermark | orlando news

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

One Mighty Question Mark jamie hyman

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regarding the last-minute venue changes.

Chisholm is not listed anywhere in the 2010 One Mighty Reunion Events company registration. The company address is 4311 Irongate Road in Pensacola, which Google Maps shows as a residential address.

A booking agent with Buena Vista Palace confirmed that “a group [of rooms] is set aside” for the Reunion party, and that several rooms had been booked. When asked, a different reservations agent at the Buena Vista Palace confirmed that the event is “a Johnny Chisholm party.”

Already, there is speculation that the omission of Chisholm’s name from the Reunion web site, company registration and marketing materials is designed to distance Chisholm from the weekend event in light of his problems the previous year, lawsuits and recent bankruptcy.

“The fact that both the Reunion website and his promotional sponsor at JustCircuit.com fail to acknowledge that Johnny Chisholm is behind these parties suggests something dubious,” said Tony Hayden, who runs TheCircuitDog.com, a popular circuit party web site. “He is operating from the shadows, hoping he can pad his pockets. He doesn’t fully understand the damage that he has already done.”

Hayden said he doesn’t know who is providing financial backing for the hotel and pool parties. He noted that many Orlando area vendors were listed as creditors in Chisholm’s bankruptcy case. “[Chisholm] never paid the vendors from last year, so why would any of them be willing to do business with him again?”

Hayden asked.

Watermark contacted Chisholm by phone, and he said he was going into a meeting with his accountants and would call back in an hour. After several hours, Watermark called him again and this time a recording said that the number had been temporarily disconnected by its owner. A third call went to voice mail, but was not returned by press time.

A full slate of nighttime parties is planned this year for the 20th anniversary of the original Gay Day at the Magic Kingdom. Last year, Fort Lauderdalebased promoters stepped in at the last minute to produce the successful Let’s Go Play party at Typhoon Lagoon, and that event will be back this year.

Respected promoter Mark Baker has also announced his return to the newly dubbed “Wonderland Weekend” nighttime lineup.

He will produce events on Thursday and Sunday night, and sponsor a host hotel and pool parties at the Holiday Inn Lake Buena Vista. Watermark will also produce a Saturday night event at Universal Studios Orlando. | l |

wa

Orlando | Despite a year plagued by bankruptcy and lawsuits, it appears that promoter Johnny Chisholm is attempting a comeback on the Gay Days Weekend circuit party scene.

Chisholm and his company, Chisholm LLC, gained notoriety as producers of “One Mighty Weekend,” which included the huge theme-park events that have monopolized the Gay Days Weekend nighttime party scene the past several years. But last April, less than two months before scheduled event dates, Chisholm announced that he had moved Friday night’s Beach Ball to the Buena Vista Palace, and Saturday night’s One Mighty Party to the Gaylord Palms convention hotel on International Drive. Then, just three days before One Mighty Party, the venue was switched again, also to the Buena Vista Palace.

After the switch, some ticket holders complained to Watermark that they were unable to secure refunds.

Chisholm blamed the economy, pricing and parking issues, but based on correspondence made public on a circuit web site, many speculated that the promoter still owed Disney money.

A lawsuit brought by two of Chisholm’s investors reinforced the appearance of financial problems. On March 8, 2010, Chisholm LLC was dissolved by a judge in a bankruptcy ruling. Many speculated that would be the end of Chisholm’s lengthy high-profile involvement with Orlando’s annual big gay event.

Then, almost under the radar, something called “One Mighty Reunion” popped up. Promoted at OneMightyReunionEvents.com, it is touted as a hotel and pool party package sold directly through the Buena Vista Palace, Chisholm’s location in previous years.

The “One Mighty” name suggests Chisholm’s involvement, but that was otherwise not apparent online. However, the booking page of the Buena Vista Palace website lists the Reunion company address as 201 East Garden Street in Pensacola—the same address as the nowdefunct Chisholm Properties, LLC. The company phone number listed went to a recording stating that the voice mailbox is not yet set up.

The Reunion site states copyright “2010 One Mighty Reunion Events,” which according to state records, is registered under Ted McCrary. In a 2007 interview with Edge, a Boston-based gay nightlife publication, McCrary was described by a Chisholm staffer as Chisholm’s “secondin-command.” McCrary was also an event manager for last year’s One Mighty Weekend, and was quoted in Watermark

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watermark | tampa bay news

| April 15-April 29, 2010

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St. Pete lawyer files suit against McCollum steve blanchard St. Petersburg | Attorney, Democratic activist and St. Pete Pride board member David Schauer has filed a Bar complaint against Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum. The complaint says that in filing a lawsuit to overturn the recent health care overhaul signed into law by President Barack Obama, McCollum acted outside his authority, filed a frivolous lawsuit and has a conflict of interest.

“As an attorney in Florida I have witnessed a rapid decline in respect for our court and court personnel,” Schauer wrote in his complaint. “It is my firm belief that the lack of respect is a result of the way politicians attack the court and use the facilities of the court for political grandstanding.”

Schauer goes on to say that, “It is my belief that his actions are not only unethical, but also illegal.

McCollum hired Washington lawyers David Rivkin and Lee Casey to help with his lawsuit against the health care legislation.

Both work at McCollum’s former law firm, Baker and Hostetler, and will be paid $250 an hour under a contract capped at $50,000.

Some of the other 12 attorneys general that have joined the lawsuit will share the costs, according to McCollum spokeswoman Ryan Wiggins, bringing Florida’s share of the fees

to about $30 an hour.

Despite the supposed “discount” in fees, Schauer says Florida’s constitution prohibits McCollum from participating.

“Neither the Constitution of the State nor the State Statutes authorize the Attorney General to bring suit against the Federal Government without the direction of either the Governor or the State Legislature,” Schauer said. “The Constitution and Statutes of Florida defines the duties of the Attorney General and he was not authorized to bring or join this suit. There are provisions in Florida law that requires him to conduct a study and to consult with the legislature before filing a lawsuit, which he didn’t do.”

A spokeswoman for McCollum disagrees and says that he is well within his legal rights to pursue the suit.

“As the attorney general has said, this lawsuit is simply about the law and the attorney general’s oath to uphold the Constitution and protect the people of Florida,” she said.

Schauer contends that the suit is frivolous he sites that McCollum threatened and prepared his lawsuit before the health care law was even passed by either house of Congress. He also adds that there is not one single case citation to support the suit.

“Taken in totality, it clearly establishes that the attorney knew he was filing a frivolous lawsuit,” Schauer said. | l |

Group plans counter protest of Westboro Church steve blanchard

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Tampa | The Westboro Baptist Church is back in town to protest, and a counter protest movement is already springing into action. The church, complete with its familiar “God Hates Fags” signs, protested several public and private schools in the Tampa Bay area in early April. While the group is best known for protesting at the funerals of fallen American soldiers to demonstrate how America’s acceptance of homosexuality has angered God, it has protested schools before.

On this swing through Florida, however, Westboro is protesting the Bon Jovi concert at the St. Pete Times Forum on Saturday, April 17. Local LGBT activists Jen Greenfield and Zeke Fread immediately launched a grassroots counter protest group on Facebook shortly after the Topeka Kansas-based church announced its plans.

According to the church’s web site, the protest of the concert stems from the legendary rock band’s unwillingness to preach God’s message.

“These old fools have had access to millions all over the world for nearly three decades,” the site said, “but they have not one time told any of them what God requires of them.”

The protest, the church said, will bring its message to the audience and remind them that “time is short.”

Greenfield is encouraging those attending the counter-protest to bring signs and to keep the gathering peaceful.

“This has to be a peaceful protest and as you and I both know, you cannot reason with these folks,” Greenfield said.

“Signs should read ‘God Hates Shrimp’ or other similar satirical messages seen at similar events in order to combat religious extremism with humor.”

Greenfield also added that those attending the counter protest will not participate in any illegal activities and touching the Westboro protestors could result in a lawsuit.

While it’s not expected that the Westboro Baptist Church group will back out of its planned protest, Greenfield said that the counter-protest will go on whether the church is there or not.

“Why not?” she said. “They suck.”

For more information on the counter protest, which begins at 6:30 p.m. on Saturday, April 17, visit the Facebook group “Counter Protest of the hate group Westboro Baptist Church.” Specific location information should be released soon. | l |

watermark | tampa bay news

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

Halcyon duo set to open PLAY in Ybor steve blanchard Tampa | For two decades the musical duo Halcyon has toured the world, bringing their original music to venues as far away as Alaska and Europe. But now, Deb Hunseder and Stephanie Callahan will stay local—and in their very own establishment.

The out and proud women are set to open PLAY, a new music venue in the heart of Ybor City. The club at 1701 E. 8th Ave., is in the home of the former LGBT country bar Spurs, and while it’s gay-owned, it’s not necessarily a gay bar.

“We’re not really putting the label of ‘gay bar’ on this,” Hunseder said. “We’re musicians first and foremost. The main thing for us is to make sure that this is a music venue for everybody who loves music.”

While Hunseder acknowledges Halcyon’s large lesbian and gay following, the main purpose of PLAY is to give music lovers a chance to hear music they would otherwise miss.

“I said to somebody to think of us as a human mix tape,” she said.

The venue will host a variety of acts and Halcyon will perform there occasionally, but the duo will not be a “house band,” she said.

“We’ve always dreamed of opening a music venue of our very own right here at home,” Hunseder said. “The intention is to share the many talented people we’ve encountered along the way with the Bay area community.”

PLAY will officially open on Saturday, May 1, at 4 p.m. and Halcyon will perform throughout the day.

The bar has both an indoor and outdoors stage and professional sound and lighting has been added to both. Rising stars and seasoned veterans will perform at the new venue and amateurs can participate on karaoke night.

Food will be available on the patio and the women’s tastes will be reflected throughout the establishment.

“To put a fun twist on an old bar tradition, during 2-4-1 happy hour we’ll use custom guitar picks as tokens for free drinks,”

(L-R) Deb Hunseder and Stephanie Callahan will open PLAY in Ybor City May 1.

Hunseder said. “Inside the main bar we’ll have a cozy backroom lounge with cocktails, excellent affordable wines by the glass and bottles along with domestic, imported and craft-brewed beers.”

Frozen drinks will also become a staple at the patio tiki bar.

Upcoming performances include Atlanta’s finger-style guitarist Shaun Hopper, former Tampa bassist virtuoso Andy Irvine, star of the Broadway hit show about Janis Joplin, Love, Janis, Chicago rocker Cathy Richardson, Minneapolis band Black Blondie, and in demand New Orleans’ DJ Beverly Skillz. Locals include Mighty Mongo, Tenth Concession and country singer Glen Cummings.

Halcyon is off the road “indefinitely,” according to Hunseder, but that doesn’t mean the pair won’t perform locally at some other venues.

“Right now we’re focused as owners/ operators of PLAY,” she said. “But never say never. We don’t know what the future holds.”

PLAY will be open Wednesdays through Sundays at 4 p.m. For more information, visit PlayYbor.com or call 813-443-0754. | l |

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UU Clearwater to host Auction and Concert

Bingo fundraiser to benefit Metro

The Unitarian Universalists of Clearwater will hold its annual Auction and Concert on Saturday, April 24, at the UU of Clearwater Octagon Arts Center at 2470 Nursery Road. The 25th anniversary of the auction is themed “Green Fest 2010” and features folk star Amy Carol Webb. The fundraiser is for the church, but a portion of proceeds will benefit Green Florida, a non-profit promoting neighborhood gardens. For more information call 727-415-7676 or visit UUClearwater.org.

Hamburger Mary’s in Ybor City and Outing & Adventures will host a fundraiser for Metro Wellness and Community Centers on Wednesday, April 21, at 7:15 p.m. The game officially starts at 7:30 p.m. and a $10 cash donation is suggested at the door. Donated prizes include Hamburger Mary’s gift cards, tickets to the Tampa International Film Festival and more.

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watermark | sarasota news

Free Sarasota Pridefest slated for October steve blanchard Sarasota | It’s official. Sarasota Pridefest will return in 2010, just much later than in recent years. The annual LGBT celebration will be on Saturday, Oct. 30, and has relocated to the streets of Sarasota, something attendees of the annual festival have requested for several years.

Sarasota Pridefest 2010 will also be free to the public.

“We have secured the J.D. Hamel Park at Gulfstream and Main downtown,” said Sarasota Pride Board Member Cindy Barnes. “This is the first time we’ve ever had Sarasota Pride outdoors.”

The past two years, the Pride celebration has been at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall, but Barnes said the organization has outgrown the facility and had encountered too many expenses and hurdles.

“Last year the biggest complaint we received concerned the beer line,” Barnes said. “The beer was warm and because of contracts we weren’t getting any proceeds from drinks or from food.”

So Barnes and the board approached the City of Sarasota, secured permits and changed the date. Barnes said she’s hoping for cooler temperatures during

that time of year. Parking is abundant in the area, Barnes said, and she believes the 2010 event could bring out 2,500 to 3,000 people—nearly double last year’s attendance.

“A lot of people told us that they didn’t attend last year because of the $10 cover charge,” she said. “With it being free and outdoors this year, we’re expecting people from all over to participate. We’re marketing it as a destination Pride.”

There won’t be a promenade or parade during the Oct. 30 street festival, but Barnes said an equality march on Sunday, Oct. 24, will kick off a week of Pride events.

“We’re out and proud, finally,” Barnes said. “This event has been around for so long that it should be canned every year. But it’s been a struggle. It’s time for Sarasota Pride to turn the page and evolve and become a major event.”

The date and location of Sarasota Pridefest isn’t the only change or 2010. The board is looking to rebrand the organization and is accepting artists’ concepts for a new logo via its Web site. For more information on Sarasota Pridefest and for parameters surrounding the new logo, visit SarasotaPride.org. | l |

watermark | state news

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

Gainesville elects gay mayor, pending a recount steve blanchard Gainesville | The City of Gainesville has elected its first openly gay mayor— that is if a recount doesn’t change the outcome.

At press time on Tuesday, April 13, former city commissioner Craig Lowe was announced the winner of the race with only 35 more votes than rival Don Marsh. Because he won by less than half of a percentage point, the supervisor of elections office was scheduled to do a mandatory recount.

Voter turnout was strong, with nearly 16% of registered voters taking part in the run-off election. The heated race received statewide attention because of anti-gay attacks on Lowe by local religious leaders.

Flyers, online videos and heated advertisements against Lowe and LGBTs in general circulated throughout the community and even on church signs.

Dove Outreach Church is under investigation after it posted a sign in front of the church that read, “No Homo Mayor.” A top church official confirmed that the church had erected the sign.

Pastor Wayne Sapp has been posting antigay videos online, calling Lowe a “fag” and saying that “Gainesville should not be

turned into ‘Homoville.’”

The anti-Lowe camp not only used Lowe’s sexuality against him during the campaign, but also his support of a city ordinance that added transgender people to the city’s equal protection law. The group posted fliers declaring that the ordinance should be repealed because it allowed “predators and men” to legally enter women’s restrooms.

March had said that if he were elected, he would try to repeal the ordinance, which voters declined to do last fall.

Americans United, a non-profit group that brings Americans of many faiths and political viewpoints together to defend church-state separation, has asked the IRS to investigate the church since it’s a federally-funded organization. Alachua County tax appraisers are already investigating Dove World Outreach in relation to their exempt status.

For official election results and an update on the recount, visit WatermarkOnline.com. | l |

START HERE.

Go to WatermarkOnline.com to see results from the recount.

Miami Hospital changes partner visitation rules staff report Miami | Jackson Memorial Hospital is making changes to their visitation policies for LGBT families.

The Committee for Fair Visitation, a coalition of state, local and national organizations, began meeting with JMH and its parent company, Jackson Health Systems, just over a year ago. The talks were sparked by charges that the hospital would not let Janice Langbehn visit her partner of 18 years, Mary Pond. Pond slipped into a coma and died during the eight hours JMH staff would not permit visitation by her partner and three children. A lawsuit accusing the hospital of discrimination was thrown out by a judge who said the hospital made bad choices but did not break any laws.

Now, JMH is implementing a nondiscrimination policy that includes sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. It’s new patients’ bill of rights demonstrates the hospital’s commitment to providing quality care for LGBT patients, and a visitation policy updates the definition of family to include same-sex partners and other people who may not be

legally related to a patient.

Equality Florida helped build the Committee for Fair Visitation and in a statement, said JMH senior officials “made a sincere commitment to a thorough review of Jackson’s policies to ensure LGBT families would be treated with respect and support.”

“No-one should ever enter a hospital worrying that they will be barred from their loved one’s bedside because the person behind the desk refuses to recognize your family, and with these new policies, Jackson has set a very high standard for valuing all families including LGBT families,” said Stratton Pollitzer, deputy director for Equality Florida.

Equality Florida plans to use JMH’s policies at a template for hospitals across the state.

JMH also participated in the 2009 Healthcare Equality Index survey project, a joint project of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association and Human Rights Campaign Foundation, which rates healthcare facilities on their policies and practices related to the LGBT community.

Survey information will be released in May. | l |

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Census Bureau urges same-sex couples to be counted staff report New York, N.Y. | With strong backing from the Census Bureau, gay-rights activists are urging maximum participation in the first U.S. Census that will tally same-sex couples who say they’re married—even those without a marriage license.

The move has drawn fire from conservatives, who complain that it’s another step toward redefining marriage.

For the first time, the bureau has deployed a team of professional field workers—about

two-dozen strong—to reach out to gays and lesbians. The bureau unveiled its first publicservice videos encouraging gay Americans to mail in their Census forms last week.

“What I tell folks in the bureau is that this is a powerful, important part of American society,” said Tim Olson, of the Census Bureau. “We have to reach out and engage this part of the population. Anything less than that is a failure.”

Only the District of Columbia and five states—Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont and Iowa—have

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

13

legalized gay marriages. But the Census Bureau says same-sex couples in any state who consider themselves spouses should feel free to check the “husband” or “wife” boxes on the Census form, rather than “unmarried partner.”

The bureau’s willingness to count gay marriages—despite a federal law that denies legal recognition to any of them—has been hailed as a historic milestone by gay-rights leaders.

“It’s humongous,” said Jaime Grant, director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s Policy Institute.

“Our opponents are rightfully concerned, because it does lend an air of legitimacy to our marriages,” Grant said. “It’s another way of weaving us into the fabric instead of continuing to see as outsiders.” | l |

Army: Gays still can be dismissed if they speak up staff report Washington, D.C. | Reversing course, Army Secretary John McHugh has warned soldiers that they still can be discharged for admitting they are gay, saying he misspoke when he suggested the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy had been temporarily suspended. The public stumble by a senior service official is an indication of the issue’s legal complexity. The Pentagon has said it wants to hear from gay troops as it conducts a broad study on how it could lift the ban, as

President Barack Obama wants.

But to do that, gay service members would have to break the law, which prohibits them from discussing their sexual orientation.

Defense Department officials say they plan to hire an outside contractor to survey the troops, and that gay troops won’t be punished for sharing their views with that third party.

“Until Congress repeals ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ it remains the law of the land and the Department of the Army and I will fulfill our obligation to uphold it,” McHugh said.

McHugh had previously said he wouldn’t try to discharge service members who in

briefs Gay newspaper revived in Atlanta The new owner of a longtime weekly newspaper covering the gay and lesbian community in Atlanta said the shuttered publication will reopen this month.

Southern Voice shut down in November because parent company Window Media LLC in Washington, D.C., filed for bankruptcy. New owner Matt Neumann, publisher of Gaydar Magazine LLC, said he planned to publish the paper again on April 14.

U.S. reports rape of gays in Zimbabwe Gay Zimbabweans face widespread harassment and some have even been raped by those intending to convert their sexuality, the U.S. State Department said in a discussion of its annual human rights report in Zimbabwe. Gay men were forced into heterosexual acts and lesbian women were raped, sometimes by male relatives, to teach them to change their ways. Same-sex acts are illegal in Zimbabwe and while there have been no reported prosecutions related to consensual homosexuality in recent years, the offense carries a penalty of up to a year in jail or a fine of up to $5,000.

Iowa governor backs legislature’s stance on gay marriage Gov. Chet Culver praised the Iowa Legislature last week for declining to begin the process of asking voters if they want to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage. Culver said his personal view remains that a marriage should be between a man and a woman, but he thinks people have accepted the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision that found a state ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.

Salt Lake City’s gay-rights laws take effect Salt Lake City’s landmark ordinances to protect gays from discrimination in housing and employment have taken effect. Mayor Ralph Becker was joined by gay-rights advocates at a ceremony marking implementation of Utah’s first such laws. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints endorsed the ordinances as protecting people’s right to work and have a roof over their heads.

private conversations with him acknowledged to being gay. He also said he believed that Defense Secretary Robert Gates had placed a moratorium on dismissals while the Pentagon surveyed troops on their opinions.

McHugh later said he misspoke.

While the ban remains intact, the Pentagon has made it tougher to get discharged under the law. Earlier this month, Gates announced new guidelines that tighten the rules for evidence when someone reports that a soldier is gay and puts higher-ranking officers in charge of dismissal proceedings. | l |

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should have ended as a classic high school mean kids tale of in-crowds and outcasts with a lesbian twist.

But then some of her “cool� classmates decided to speak their minds in the best way they know how—on the internet.

Internet users were already following the controversy. Several Facebook groups and pages supportive of Constance popped up when the made headlines. But after the sequin dust settled, several key things Online, happened: a few of Constance’s classmates everyone decided to talk about the secret prom on their own (largely public) walls, someone created has power an anti-Constance page, and a couple of the students ventured into the comment threads of other blogs to defend their bigoted actions.

Jamie Hyman Students talking about the secret online editor prom on their own Facebook pages were Jamie@WatermarkOnline.com quickly inundated with comments sharply condemning them for excluding Constance and the other students.

The anti-Constance page was titled “Constance quit yer cryin� [sic] and it was quickly overtaken by Constance’s supporters, effectively snuffing out any who agreed with the page’s original message.

Possibly the most notable defense came from classmate Lindsey Begley, who commented in a thread on a site called “La Figa.� Lindsey owned up to the boycott and blamed Constance and “her crazy-reckless need for attention� for causing the situation, saying the rest of the student body didn’t support Constance’s “decision to throw the [school] district under the bus.�

She accused Constance of “playing the y now, most people know about the lesbian card to prove she always gets what Constance McMillen scandal, but she wants,� and concluded with the assertion for the uninitiated, here’s a quick that they didn’t make a secret prom because overview: Mississippi student Constance Constance is gay, they did it to prove that wanted to bring her girlfriend to the prom.

The school board said “No,�and canceled the she and the ACLU couldn’t steamroll the prom. But then a court was like, “You can’t students into doing what they wanted, and so Lindsey and her friends “flexed the do that, school board,� so the judge issued muscle of the majority and we’ll suffer the a ruling based on a compromise; as a result consequences.� of the controversy, a private, non-schoolsponsored prom was I’ll make a clear understatement and already in the works. say that this did not Since Constance was go over well. invited to that event, Watching these kids the judge would not Make no mistake. get ripped apart online I am not defending force the school to these students or what host an inclusive was like watching they did. I’m appalled prom. baby lambs who And for the first that in 2010, “typical teenager� stunts can time, that should wandered into a field still be painted with have been the end of velociraptors. such a thick and ugly of it.

Except streak of bigotry.

But watching these Constance’s kids get ripped apart classmates and their horrible, horrible parents (because there is no online was like watching baby lambs who way the kids could have made this happen wandered into a field of velociraptors. They were shredded. Eviscerated. Destroyed in a without adult help) pulled a fast one. They public forum where any person could wander planned another, secret party and didn’t by, view the wreckage, make their own invite Constance, two special-needs students judgments and hell, even pile on a little more and four other apparently unpopular kids.

When Constance arrived at the "prom" with abuse.

Constance is going to be okay. She knows her date, just that handful of prom-goers was when to stand up for herself, her public there. appearances indicate a bright girl with the For the second time, Constance’s story

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

world at her doorstep and NYC Pride just announced she’ll be a grand marshal in their Pride Parade. The other kids are going to be okay, too. We can hope that one day they’ll look upon their bigoted teenage actions with disgust, regret and shame.

What horrifies me is that this was allowed to happen in the first place—those kids’ pages were public. The internet is my whole job and mine isn’t even public, except for a few key details. Their parents posted publicly, too! And they let their kids wander around the internet and say stupid things that got them textually beat up. The internet ignorance that led to the fall-out, to me, is almost as fascinating as tracing the way it unwound sociologically.

17

Uncle Ben once told Spiderman that “with great power comes great responsibility,� and those words kept ringing in my ears as I read deeper and deeper into how this played out online. It became vividly, painfully clear to me that when controversies like this go public on the web, everyone has great power because everyone is on equal footing when it comes to spouting opinions. Some will feel that the punishment far exceeded the crime, some will feel that the students got exactly what they deserved, but I just find myself wishing those in power—on both sides of the issue—had exercised a little more responsibility. | l |

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watermark | viewpoint “My God, what am I going to do?”

Nathan asks.

“Burn the shit.”

“Stop it. I love him!”

“Hey, it’s your apartment, your rules.

He’s just a guest until he comes up with his half of the rent, which I’m assuming he hasn’t paid yet.”

“He’s looking for a job. He had some… medical issues. He’ll pay next month.”

“Medical issues?” I inquire.

“Don’t ask me,” Nathan returns, trying to smother the comic books with a pillow.

“He hasn’t said what kind.” His green eyes go alligator wide, like the suspense Stranger in is thrilling. “But I found a bunch of pill bottles in the bathroom. He’s smart, pulled My House off the labels.”

“Um, Nate?” I begin, patiently. “That’s Anthony Paull not good. That’s bad.”

Anthony@WatermarkOnline.com “Whatever,” he sighs. Fluffing this and organizing that, he flutters around, setting the snow globes in different locations, as if that will help. “He’s just being mysterious, no big deal. No one said relationships are easy.” In return, that’s the exact line I cough up when he phones the next night in tears. “Stop it, I’m really scared,” Nathan says. “You need to come over and spend the night.”

“And squeeze in between you, him, and the Minnie Mouse snow globes? Hell to the no.”

Taking a breath, Nathan begins mewling. “Please. He just woke up in the middle of a dead sleep and asked me who I was. Can you believe it? He looked so esbians don’t date—they U-Haul. scared. He couldn’t remember my name.

And gays don’t date—they haul ass. He sounded like a freaking hoot-owl. 'Who Well, that is except for my are you? Who are you?' What’s wrong with friend, Nathan. He’s not living up to the him?” stereotype, and I’m really disappointed. I “Tell him you’re his landlord and the mean, it’s only been two weeks since he rent is due. That’ll snap him out of it.” met his new boyfriend, Seth, and they’re “Damn it! I’m such an idiot!” he hollers already in the process of moving in before playing suck-and-blow with a together. According to Nathan, it’s a super cigarette. In-andidea because it’ll out, in-and-out, he save him money on struggles for air. rent, and well, Seth “Why would he say Soon, he’ll friend has a really big dick.

‘Who are you? request all your friends, that?

“Yeah, well, so Who are you?’” does Lady Gaga,” I and we’ll feel bad for And me, I have state. “But you don’t to chomp on my de-friending him when see me shacking up tongue from asking with her for it.” he ‘forgets’ who Nathan the very Anxiety-ridden, same thing. Just you are.

Nathan instructs me two weeks ago, he to quit joking around was single, smart, and come over. daring, and going “I need help decorating,” he says. “Seth on a casual date. And now, he’s knee-deep unpacked all of his things, and some of it’s in despair, ball and chained at the hip. Me, really icky.”

I wonder: how did this happen and why For once, Nathan isn’t being dramatic. does it happen to so many of us? Why Upon my arrival, I find his word to be can’t we wait on moving in until after the true. Dollar Store knick-knacks and a large honeymoon? collection of Disney snow globes adorn the Sure, it’s easy to fall for his “best,” but kitchen windowsill and the antique coffee why not wait to see him at his worst? What table. Plus, Seth has a thing for Wonder we fail to think about during the fever of Woman comic books, which are to remain a new relationship is making a fast choice in gold frames on the plaid couch until not only affects us, but those that surround Seth has time to figure out the “wall plan.” us as well. With the advent of Facebook

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

and MySpace, I have a profile page full of boyfriends of friends of ex-boyfriends all in their finest, fair-weather poses, and I have no idea who half of these people are.

If you move a new mate into your house— your life—without doing the math, you’re stuck with him, but everyone in your life is stuck with him too.

Soon, he’ll friend request all your friends, and we’ll feel bad for de-friending him when he “forgets” who you are. When Nathan had Seth “removed” from his home for going off his meds, the rest of us cyber-saw the entire act through Facebook, where Seth posted “gee, look at me” pictures of the moving van as if it were all foggy dream. “Wonder when I’ll find Mr.

25

Wonder Woman-ful,” Seth wrote.

And only then did I hear from Nathan, who happily phoned saying he’s moving on. “I found another guy!” he sang.

“You’re going to love him!”

“Already?”

“No, you’d be so proud of me. I told him, I said you’re not moving into my house, no how, no way. I learned my lesson.”

“Good.”

“Yeah, so instead, we’re thinking about moving into his place.” | l | Anthony Paull is a Sarasota-based writer and filmmaker.

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watermark | viewpoint

| April 15-April 29, 2010

No, I’ve never even seen it.

No, but I’ve been offered.

I will occasionally indulge.

72%

I have used it in the past but no longer do. yes, but I’m currently trying to kick the habit yes, I use it regularly and I don’t want to stop

18%

0% 1%

3% 6%

AT WATERMARkONLINE.COM, WE ASkED yOu:

Have you ever experimented with crystal meth?

A new poll will be posted to the homepage this week. Be sure to visit WatermarkOnline.com and let us know what YOU think!

On Ricky Martin’s coming out: “I love that these people decide to come out when they realize we’ve forgotten about them. Like Sean Hayes.

I’m still putting them both in my “who cares" file. —CampScottie On Orange County considering updating its Human Rights Ordinance: “If Crotty—or any of the commissioners—do not support this initiative, they will be added to the list of non-violent direct action targets that activists are now taking action against.

It is past time for nice talk.� —AlanBounville Yep, they’re still talking about the Bear stories: “Buzz here from Denver... Listen folks, bears like me enjoyed the BOCF events at the P-House enough to make the 1,600 mile trip twice a year. I hope you boys can get it together. It was a great time each year and I miss it.� —sendbuzzmaildotcom Don’t be left out of the community conversation!

Head over to WatermarkOnline.com, register and start telling us what YOU think!

mail LGBT Relay cancelation disappointing I want to thank Watermark for the article you did (Issue 17.07) about the cancelation of the LGBT Relay for Life in Pinellas County. I am hoping it helps create change in the organization because bringing awareness to our community is so important.

Your article definitely got the message across while still emphasizing that the organization does do good work.

Although Pinellas and Hillsborough are under the same direction, the Hillsborough unit seems to be more openminded at this point. I truly believe in the work they do, which is why I —BoBBY have volunteered so much with them. Sadly, it was just a few people who did not support this Relay.

Despite having only two weeks, the Hamburger Mary’s Team that was led by Christian Hughes raised over $2,200 for Hillsborough’s Relay for Life! To say that their work was incredible would be an understatement.

Despite everything surrounding the cancellation of the LGBT Relay, the effort put in by this team was not only inspiring, but it brought to light the true meaning behind Relay: Remembering those we’ve lost, honoring those who have survived,

raising money for a cure, and helping heal the hearts of everybody touched by cancer.

Bobby Poth St. Petersburg

Rally around healthcare I am an RN and I really appreciated Steve Blanchard’s “Editor’s Desk� in Watermark (Issue 17.07) about healthcare and what happened to him personally.

My biggest hope is that we can all rally around “How Many Lives Will Be Saved� by the healthcare bill. I can tell you from personal experience that many of my patients died because they had no insurance and could not afford—and would not go to— the Poth hospital.

I recall one incident in nursing school where I had a patient with all the symptoms of a heart attack and the doctor diagnosed it as acid reflux. When I questioned this, I was written up by both the hospital and my nursing instructor as being disrespectful of the doctor. The patient died the next day of a heart attack. Democrats must stress both the money saved and the lives saved.

Thank you so much for writing that column, Steve!

Mark L. Orlando

“Your article got the message across while still emphasizing that the American Cancer Society does do good work.�

Send all correspondence to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com. Letters may be edited for space or clarity. Opinions expressed in reader mail do not reflect those of Watermark’s staff.

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perspective

watermark | viewpoint Here’s what I want to hear in her next speech:

But Florida should be more than a robust economic engine. It should also be a state of mind: a sunny place where property is a source of security; where schools provide children with a solid foundation; where solar power fuels homes and the imagination; and where mass transit connects diverse metropolitan areas to each other and the future.

Importantly, it must also be a place of fairness and decency, where everyone can achieve personal and professional fulfillment.

And that starts with basic equality.

The majority of Floridians disapprove of our sweeping ban on gay adoption, passed more than 30 years ago but still embarrassingly on the books. Three circuit court judges have declared it unconstitutional.

27

My opponent, Bill McCollum, has appealed these decisions, seeking to enforce the ban and rip children out of admittedly stable and loving homes. Meanwhile, thousands of precious children languish in foster care. This is the worst law in Florida, and we must repeal it.

And believe it or not, it’s still legal to fire someone in Florida just because they’re gay, even though polling shows that the vast majority of us think this is flat-out wrong. This kind of discrimination is beneath us, and we must make it illegal.

We live in a paradise, people, but we’ve lost our way. Let’s work together to reclaim it.

Elect me as your governor. | l |

publiSher’S

Its 2010, people, and we have to face facts.

There’s evidence that we’re finally emerging from the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, but it sure doesn’t feel like it in Florida.

Unemployment remains way over ten percent, and well above the national average.

It’s time With a backlog of foreclosures and no end in for Sink to site, home prices are still bottoming out. Half change course of us in Florida now owe more on our homes than they’re worth, which means less financial security and fewer resources for future dreams.

Not only have our current state leaders Tom Dyer Tom@WatermarkOnline.com failed to address these issues, they’ve gone back on important promises in the critical areas of education, energy conservation and the environment… the very things that will determine our quality of life as we move forward.

And make no mistake about it: word is out.

For the first time in recorded history, more people are moving out of this big, beautiful, temperate state than are moving in. This abrupt change has also had a negative impact on the fragile economy.

All this may have something to do with the suntan we’ve had masquerading as a governor for the past four years, or an entrenched Republican legislature that truly represents the interests of only a small fraction of Floridians.

But that’s not what I want to talk about, or ix months from now, we elect a new governor. The race between Republican what motivates me to lead this great state. The present circumstances are an extraordinary Bill McCollum and Democrat Alex opportunity, people… and it starts with the Sink started as a toss-up. Recent polling election of a new governor! indicates that McCollum, a charmless And in that respect, you have a real choice perennial candidate who has lost more to make in November. elections than he has won, has opened up a ten Florida is a large and diverse state. My point lead.

Republican opponent, Bill McCollum, has Sink just fired her campaign manager, but clearly adopted the limited view of the far right there was further evidence of her strategic wing of his party. Need an example? Rather missteps at an April 5 fundraising event at than accept long overdue health care reform Hamburger Mary’s in downtown Orlando. and help make it work for the 25 percent At the reception, sponsored by LGBT and of Floridians currently without insurance, friendly supporters, Sink reportedly delivered he wants to involve us in an expensive and her standard stump speech about fiscal frivolous lawsuit to have reform declared responsibility and never once used the word unconstitutional. It plays to his base, while “gay.” She raised a tepid $2,500; last year, ignoring the plight of millions of uninsured a campaign event for much the same crowd Floridians. brought in ten times Four years ago that amount. you elected me the Although I was state’s Chief Financial The next six months unable to attend, I was Officer. I’ve watched on the host committee will determine whether over your money for the Hamburger carefully, and I’m I cast my vote [for Alex Mary’s event. I have happy to report that tremendous respect Sink] with enthusiasm we’re in better shape for Sink, and I think or with a sigh. than our friends in she has the skills to California, New York be an extraordinary and other states. governor. I will vote My opponent has made light of my banking for her, and so should you. But the next six background, but the truth is I’m a wonk—a months will determine whether I cast my vote number-cruncher —and there’s nobody better with enthusiasm or with a sigh. qualified to lead this state at this challenging Politicians lead as they campaign. In a time. Nobody will take better care of your state with a plurality of registered Democrats, tax dollars than I will! And nobody will work but a strong Republican legislative majority, harder—or smarter—to kick-start our economy Sink must connect with the people to govern than me. effectively.

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

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| April 15-April 29, 2010

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

john sullivan

FEARLESS LIFE

Melissa Etheridge talks about motherhood, music and making a difference

M

elissa Etheridge put out her first album more than two decades ago and she has made empowering music ever since. Along the way she came out of the closet, sold millions of records, started a family, battled and survived cancer and picked up a couple of Grammys and an Academy Award.

Not bad for the girl who left Kansas for California with not much more than her guitar and a heart full of dreams.

These days Etheridge is a full time mom and an LGBT icon.

She is also preparing for the release of her new album, Fearless Love, and a world tour that kicks off in Europe and then brings her home to perform for her American fans. Fearless Love demonstrates Etheridge’s ability to deliver important messages and tell heartfelt tales through songs that run the gamut from dramatic rock & roll to darker ballads. Songs like “Indiana,” “The Wanting of You” and “To Be Loved” demonstrate the range of styles and emotion that have helped her amass a fan base that is as dedicated to her as she is to them.

The songs on her new album also pay tribute to the music that has influenced her throughout life’s journey and she finds unique and creative ways to give a wink and a nod to groups like U2, ZZ Top and Led Zeppelin.

“I wanted to unabashedly use the influences I’ve had all my life,” Etheridge explains, “I wanted to present them in this album, and honor them and respect them.”

Between parenting, rehearsing and stopping for a second to catch her breath, Etheridge was more than happy to make time for a phone chat with Watermark to discuss her kids, her activism and her music.

Continued on page 36 | uu |

29

30

| April 15-April 29, 2010

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watermark | television

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

31

Comedienne Kate McKinnon, who pays FitzWilliam in one popular sketch, says she’s surprised at some of the things BGSS has been able to get by censors.

The cast of LOGO’s Big Gay Sketch Show return for a third season this month.

sketchy queens LOGO’s Big gAy SKETch ShoW RETuRNs fOR ITs ThIRd sEAsON

lawrence ferber

A

pril showers mean gay sketch comedy skits. That was a lame intro, yes, but LOGOs genuinely funny third season of The Big Gay Sketch Show premieres Tuesday, April 13 at 10 p.m. Returning cast members Paolo Andino, Colman Domingo, Julie Goldman, Stephen Guarino, Jonny McGovern, Kate McKinnon and Nicol Paone skewer all things gay and then some (including RuPaul, Anne Coulter, and The View ladies) while cameo players include Rachel Dratch, Sharon Osbourne, Isaac Mizrahi, Bravo’s Andy Cohen, and Exec Producer Rosie O’Donnell.

To get scoop on the seasons highlights, and some skits that didn’t make it, we spoke with McGovern, who plans to release a record later this year; and McKinnon, who provides voices for Cartoon Network’s upcoming Robotomy and performs with N.Y.s Upright Citizens Brigade.

WATERMARK: How does this season differ the most from previous ones?

JONNY MCGOVERN: I think every season we’re together as a collective we know each other better and play to our strengths more and have more freedom to be as gay as we want to be. We’re so gay, every sketch is imbued with tons of gayness even if its not a gay-specific sketch. Some of our things this year aren’t specifically gay.

KATE MCKINNON: We’ve opened it up to lampoon all that is ridiculous in America. The scope is broader. We spoofed The View this year and that was fun. A take

on how ridiculous those ladies are. We twist American Idol.

Which are your favorite skits or characters, whether your own or another cast members?

KM: Well, Fitzwilliam, the transgender British boy I play is fun. I pitched Fitzwilliam and my best friend said, “Are you kidding?

You can’t.” But they loved it and I can’t believe that got on TV. JM: One of my favorite things this year, which is not a sketch per se, is they got me out in Times Square interviewing people about the gayest thing they’ve ever done. It was fun and scary because we had really no script. It was just, “Jonny, make this!” It was me, one of our writers, and we got into the Square and they brought people over to me. One person said, “Well, I have been to see The View recently.”

One said the interview with me was the gayest thing. I replied, “Yes, you’re correct.”

What didn’t make it past the writer’s room this year? Was anything too much for TV? KM: There was a Jonas Brothers spoof that died because it was a little too raunchy. There’s only so far you can go without pissing people off.

JM: Well, I had desperately wanted a sketch where I sing a song called, “I Saw Your Cock on Craigslist.” But right before we filmed it, the Craigslist murders were all over the news.

Craigslist murderer, you ruined my sketch!

Vogue’s Andre Leon Talley makes a cameo.

How did that come about?

JM: I went to a screening of the Valentino documentary and Leon did the introduction. I love his wit, his muumuus, his style, and right before the movie started I went into the lobby to get popcorn and he was there. I went up to say I was such a huge follower and he looked at me and said, “Big Gay Sketch Show? Jonny McGovern!” We chatted and it turns out when he’s having a bad day he loves nothing more than to turn on episodes of BGSS. KM: I remember Leon came and I had never seen someone so tall. (laughs) And Sharon Osbourne was wild to meet. She just sounds exactly like that in real life and I couldn’t quite believe it.

Funnyman Jonny McGovern says that this season, the show isn’t quite as gay specific, meaning everything is fair game.

And how much of each other do you see when not making the show?

JM: We all get along great. Julie and I are great friends. We’re planning a standup tour together for the New Year. Stephen, Kate, Nicol and I performed sketches at the San Francisco Sketch Festival this year and had a blast. It included a trip to the Nob Hill porno cinema. We decided we would go out [to San Francisco] and be recognized as the wonderful gay celebrities we are and nobody recognized us at all until we got the cinema. I should have known.

Jonny, your alter-ego, The Gay Pimp, is internationally known for music, videos and live performances. Will we ever see him appear on BGSS? JM: Not really. They’re pretty happy to have me do that on my own. BGSS gives me a chance not to do Gay Pimp, which is what I’m hustling all the time. The closest I would have gotten would have been the “I had desperately Craigslist song which wanted a sketch where will be a new single off my own album!

I sing a song called, You’ll get plenty ‘I Saw Your Cock on of Gay Pimp in the promotion.

Craigslist.’”

Lets end with a Rosie anecdote, please.

JM: She is our queen. God bless her.

During the first season she was there a lot, but now she believes —JonnY MCGovern Now to shamelessly in the people who are plug myself: Stephen running the show and Guarino co-stars in cast and we really an upcoming gay romantic comedy I coonly see her on the one day she comes in to wrote, BearCity it takes place in NYC’s bear film her bit at the end of the show, which is scene. What’s a fun fact about him? like Statler & Waldorf from The Muppet Show.

JM: Stephen is great because when we read She’s sweet as pie until she makes jokes about the sketches we’re sitting in a conference the show, which is in the script. Great to see room, but Stephen will go all out to get his you read us, Rosie. Bless you. | l | sketches together. A boom box and wig and he’s dancing on the table.

32

watermark | film

| April 15-April 29, 2010

screened out NIGHTS TO REMEMBER

stephen miller

Stephen@WatermarkOnline.com

Date Night

(Starring Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Mark Wahlberg, Ray Liotta)

★★★★★

D

ate Night is nothing more or less than a good, solid date movie. This cute comedy may not be earth-shattering, but its guns are loaded with charm.

Fey (of SNL and 30 Rock fame) is a suburban real estate agent. Carell (Little Miss Sunshine and TV’s The Office) is her schlubby hubby. This couple is obviously caught in a rut, love has grown boring, and they consider each other “really good roommates.” In an effort to spice things up, they go into Manhattan for a date night at an upscale restaurant.

Desperate for a table, they take someone else’s reservation and accidentally end up embroiled in an evening of espionage, blackmail, chases, double-crosses, and violence.

Perhaps the plot isn’t as tight or as tricky

as it promises. Some earlier twists may mislead audiences into expecting more farcical complications than Date Night delivers. The theme itself is also pretty simplistic. Also, there are a few moments of self-humiliation that go on a bit long to remain funny.

On the plus side, though, both Fey and Carell are deft with the verbal and physical humor. This comic duo is given plenty of room to show off their impressive improvisational skills. The action is bold with a strong sense of silliness, and the slapstick is expertly delivered.

In short, the filmmakers bet everything on the charm of Fey and Carell, and that is why Date Night scores.

The Last Song

(Starring Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Greg Kinnear)

★★★★★

Miley’s first attempt at an adult career fails

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Suburban stiffs Steve Carell and Tina Fey try to survive their Date Night.

from the legendary Ray Harryhausen. To a under the combined weight of melodrama generation, it’s a classic cult film—not good and convolution. There’s so much clutter but endearing. here! Whatever happened to clean, organized The remake only makes minor plot changes. storytelling? The Last Song tries to force us to This hero Perseus (Worthington) is much weep, but plot manipulations make the film blander. The effects are rendered huge, but completely implausible. much of the original cheese remains. It’s Miley is a gloomy teen piano prodigy doubtful this version is bound for cult status, stinging over her parents’ recent divorce. but it’s an OK diversion.

So she shoplifts. Then she and her brother Perseus is a demigod abandoned by father get sent down to Georgia to live with their Zeus (Neeson), raised by humans. When dad (Kinnear). Miley assumes she’s being humanity starts staging wars against Olympus, punished. Kinnear makes stained glass, Zeus brings in brother Hades (Fiennes) to writes music, and coughs every so often like unleash his evil monster: the Kraken. What Ali MacGraw in Love Story. To escape the Zeus doesn’t know is that Hades has his own clutches of her overly caring dad, Miley meets plans to overthrow the gods. Enter bastard son a hunky volleyball player (Hemsworth) who Perseus to cut off the head of poor, also works at lube shop and volunteers guiltless Medusa as a weapon to at an aquarium. slay the Kraken.

Everyone here has six or eight It’s surprising how many interesting things about them; strange choices are made. they’re built to make us feel Olympus glitters like a like losers and underachievers. disco Valhalla—just add Miley and Liam bond roller skates and you have over turtle rescue. Miley’s Xanadu. Fiennes looks like a vegetarian. Liam’s family Rasputin; his henchman has recently suffered a secret, Calibos resembles Mickey terrible tragedy. There’s a Titans’ dullish demigod Rourke. The Fates are a cross rich-boy-poor-girl subplot, as Sam Worthington between maiden aunts and well as an arson mystery. Liam pro-wrestling monsters. Titan’s plans for college; Miley avoids grandiloquent speeches are so clunky and making plans, even though she was accepted cliché-ridden, they’ll make you wince. to Julliard without even auditioning. There’s Still, neither movie could ever be a terminal disease. Miley meets a girl in an considered highbrow. At best, they make abusive relationship. mythology that spurs the imagination of 9Author Nicholas Sparks attempts to cram year-olds. So what if neither film succeeds in absolutely every drippy romantic cliché into making their legends legendary—these flicks The Last Song. Every so often, Kinnear alone are still fun distractions. | l | rises above this dreck aimed at Lifetime TV addicts who’ve severely lowered their standards.

Clash of the Titans

(Starring Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes)

★★★★★ The original Clash of the Titans was a 1981 mash-up of Greek mythology. It had hottie Harry Hamlin as our handsome hero. It was aided by wonderfully cheesy claymation

★★★★★

Overflowing uncontrollably with glittery fabulousness

★★★★★

Pretty damn good, but it’s no Sunset Boulevard

★★★★★

An entertaining enough flick with perhaps a few gaping holes

★★★★★

Ever so slightly watchable, even if it is just because of that hot actor

★★★★★

Two hours of your life you’ll never get back

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

LIVING WITH HIV/AIDS? ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR SERVICES? We need your ideas. Get involved! Help decide how federal funds are used in your community.

You have the POWER to make a difference. CALL NICOLE AT 727-217-7070 TODAY!

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watermark | theater

| April 15-April 29, 2010

t-talk Becoming a man in 127 easy steps includes comedy, tAckles heArtAche

renee lepere

A

little sleepy on a Friday morning in Brooklyn, N.Y., Scott Turner Schofield is tired from an “argument” against censorship that lasted until 2 a.m. This time, however, Schofield is not defending his own work, but someone else’s, having been to a screening of Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives at the Tribeca Film Festival the night before. The movie, a self-described “homage to the exploitation films of the ‘70s and ‘80s” is a “revenge fantasy that brews up a concoction of camp, slasher horror and power-chick flick to create a radical new genre: Transplotation.”

LEAP

And it’s pissing off a lot of the LGBT community. Many of its members are calling for the movie’s ban from theaters.

And as a writer/performer himself, that bothers Schofield.

“It was a good, productive talk,” Schofield says of the discussion. “But it really scares me whenever people call for censorship. We (the LGBT community) have been the subject of so much censorship and fighting for representation, and now we’re calling for it.”

Schofield knows what it’s like to be in the crosshairs of silence. In 2006, conservative groups protested

“The audience gets to pick about the performance of his first work, eight stories a night, not all 127,” Underground Transit.

Schofield says. “And they pick them by “It’s a battle to get venues to do my just randomly choosing numbers. Each shows, honestly,” says Schofield, who number has a story.” will perform at the Straz Center for the The stories range from heartbreaking Performing Arts in Tampa April 22-25. to hilarity; from something as mundane “Because it’s a risk for them. Every time I as Schofield answering an e-mail to do a show, it’s almost like I’m auditioning something as monumental as going to his for another. Being labeled as transgender sister’s wedding. usually puts a serious block in people’s “I’m this goofy mind that the person walking quality is going through the world,” to be any good.

“Being labeled as Schofield says.

There’s usually an “And these things immediate ‘ick’ transgender usually happen. There’s a factor or people puts a serious block in lot of grace in the will say ‘What?’ stories. There’s question mark, people’s mind that the one story where I question mark, quality is going to be draw on my body question mark. Is with lipstick all the it a murder? Is it any good.” possible surgeries I all just illicit sex?

—Scott turner Schofield could have.”

Because that’s all Though Schofield the mainstream isn’t happy with media has shown the way the transgender community is of the transgender community. And once portrayed in mainstream media, he said people see my show, they realize it’s it is a very secretive, stigmatized world, really good.” even in the LGBT community.

Schofield’s Becoming a Man in 127 “Sometimes the LGBT community is Easy Steps in the TECO Theater housed the worst,” Schofield says. “Transgender within the Straz Center uses multimedia, is not well understood and to a lot of and stunning silk scarf acrobatics that people, it’s freaky. And the gay and allow him to hover high above the stage lesbian community has fought so hard to and audience participation to tell and live say, ‘I’m normal. I’m just like everyone the story of a man born as a female.

INTO THE

2010-2011

B R O A D WAY

SEASON

!

TM

BECOME A SEASON TICKET HOLDER TODAY! 813.229.STAR (7827) • STRAZCENTER.ORG

TBPAC IS NOW THE STRAZ CENTER.

Go to STRAZCENTER.ORG to

LEAP INTO THE

EXCITEMENT.

watermark | theater

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

approached me afterward and said she was sorry she had missed my performance the night before. And I said, ‘That’s alright.’ And she said, ‘Well, I just don’t go out after dark.’”

Last October, Schofield took his act to Europe Ireland and France—for the first time, where he received very different, but positive, reactions.

“In France, I was completely nude on national TV on the 11 p.m. news when Writer and performer Scott Turner Schofield brings his tale of being born a female but becoming a male in Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps to the they did their Straz Center for the Performing Arts in Tampa. | Photo courtesy Abby Gaskins art segment,” Schofield says with a laugh. “It wasn’t for Man in 127 Easy Steps, Schofield has else.’ I was part of the lesbian community the shock value. They used it for the intent learned something new about transgender for a long time. Now when people see me in which I use it in the play and they were communities everywhere he has gone. on the streets, they think I’m a gay guy.” explaining its purpose. The show sold out.

“There’s a large community in Touring all over the country since “In Ireland, all the transgender people Houston,” Schofield says, “And I was 2001 with Underground Transit, in the community came out, which speaking at a conference, and this woman Debutante Balls and now Becoming a

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never happens in the U.S.—usually it’s straight people who are supportive of the transgender community or queers who get it. So after the show, we had a long talk and I learned what it was like to be transgender in a culture that is very different.”

If there is one thing Schofield loves to do, it's to communicate and break down stereotypes—and he wants to do both with his show.

“Up until now, the transgender narrative has been, ‘I was born different, I changed, now I’m better,’” he says.

“With me, I’m still the same person. The play is what it’s like to have a human life in a culture that doesn’t support you, but then it does. Stories can turn on a dime.

We need more people out there saying, ‘This is what transgender looks like.’

‘No, this does.’ ‘No, this does.’ I promise people won’t go away feeling bad about themselves after the show. Hopefully, we’ll make some friends.” | l |

see+hear What: Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps When: April 22-25 Where: The David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa Tickets: StrazCenter.org or 813-229-7827

Becoming A Man In 127 Easy Steps April 22-25 • Teco Theater

"One of the year's most essential theater experiences," says the Atlanta Journal-Constitution about this ChooseYour-Own-Adventure show. Together, performer and audience decide the sequence of events every night, choosing just a few of the 127 stories that a guy who was born a girl has to tell.

Preview: Thursday at 8 p.m. – $17.50 Saturday at 8 p.m. – Regular price: $24.50* Sunday at 4 p.m. –Regular price: $24.50* Contains adult language and subject matter.

Use promotion code METRO to get $3 off your ticket price. By using this promotion code $2 will also be donated to support Metro Wellness and Community Centers. *Prices do not include applicable service fees.

Discounts may not be combined and do not apply to prior sales.

This project is made possible in part by support from the National Performance Network (NPN) Performance Residency Program.

TBPAC IS NOW THE STRAZ CENTER.

Tickets and dining: 813.229.STAR (7827) • STRAZCENTER.ORG Outside Tampa Bay: 800.955.1045 Group Services (12+ get a discount): 813.222.1018 Events, days, dates, times, performers and prices are subject to change without notice.

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| April 15-April 29, 2010

watermark | music

| uu | Melisa Etheridge from p.29

WATERMARK: On Fearless Love, you pay tribute to musical styles and some of the people who left impressions on you, specifically on songs like “Company.”

Why was this important to you?

MELISSA ETHERIDGE: I’ve spent the last 20 years trying to define myself and make a space in the music world for myself.

I think ultimately in the end, all rock & roll artists are inspired by other Rock & Roll artists. It goes back to rhythm & blues and blues; its all inspiration. I got together with Jon Shanks, my producer, and I said, “This is it. I want to make that great Who record, that great Led Zeppelin record. I just want it to be my influence and just flow freely.” And that was the plan.

As the mother of four kids, do you find that they influence and inspire you as well?

Well, this is the first time really that my kids are kind of aware of what I do in the world (Laughs). They’re more interested in the music world and the whole world out there because they’re in their adolescence now and teenagers. A couple of years ago when I said, “Oh, I’m going to start my new album,” and I started writing, I wanted them to see how long my process was and how long it took and what I did. My son is a guitar player and I’d show him what I was working on and playing and he’d be, “I like that” or, “I don’t like that.” After a while I started playing full songs for them.

Is it true that your daughter came up with the album title?

My daughter asked, “What are you going to call the album?” I was thinking of Songs of Fear and Love and she said, “Oh mom, that’s so long.” I said, “Oh. Ok, how about Fearless?” She was like, “Oh mom, Taylor Swift, that was her album.” So she suggested Fearless Love?’ I said, “That’s great.” So she left and I thought, “Now I need to write a song called ‘Fearless Love.’” (Laughs).

Having your son pick up the guitar must have been a cool moment for you.

You know, I’ve really allowed whatever their love or joy of music is to come very naturally. I knew they were surrounded by it all the time, aware of it. Two years ago he really fell in love with guitar and started playing it, so I said, “Ok,” and I got him lessons with someone. I’m not going to give him lessons, you know, that’s a nightmare, trying to give your kid lessons. He had a real desire for it and my daughter plays piano. As long as they have a love or desire for it then I want them to do it.

What are some of the other ways having a family has changed your life?

It changes your perspective. When I was a woman with no family, out there in the world writing, and living and looking for adventure, it was different than the woman

Singer Melissa Etheridge has evolved from rocker to humanitarian in the two decades since releasing her first album.

who has four children that I care about, that I’m watching over. When you’re a parent you have feelings about whatever ages your kids are, you remember that inside yourself and it’s kind of this constant emotional string that gets tugged at all the time. You look at the world differently and you want the world to be a better place.

honor people for being truthful.

Why are your fans so important to you?

When I was playing as a teenager in bars and restaurants, my father would say, “Melissa, make sure you thank the audience because they don’t have to be here. They’re showing up and that’s what’s paying you.”

He really instilled a sense of gratitude in me about the audience— You have won that it’s about them. numerous awards In this business for both your “I didn’t ask for the that can be up and music and for your down and you’re hot humanitarian breast cancer, I didn’t and then you’re not, efforts. Do you ask to be gay. I just to know that there are see a distinction people who no matter between the two stepped into whatever how many records types of accolades? it was that I truly was.” you’re selling, they’re There’s a going to want to come certain sense of —MelIssa etherIdge hear you play. That’s accomplishment you just a wonderful feel when you get an feeling and you just Oscar or a Grammy. can’t buy that.

It’s your peers; it’s the ones who are in there making music and for them to look at you One of the standout songs on the new and say, “We want to honor you with this,” record is Miss California. It is pretty that’s kind of one thing. Humanitarian stuff? obvious where that one came from, am I That’s a mystery to me because I’ve just right? been living my life. I certainly didn’t set out Oh yeah, I tried to be just short of to be any kind of humanitarian. I didn’t ask knocking you over the head with it. for the breast cancer, I didn’t ask to be gay. I just stepped into whatever it was that I truly You have never shied away from telling was. I just stood in my truth and I kind of think it’s funny we live in a society where we the stories of the LGBT experience

through your songs like Scarecrow, Silent Legacy and Tuesday Morning. Why is that important to you?

I want to say thank you for recognizing that because that is a part of me, that is a side of me that is more political and gay. That part of me that is like, “Come on, people.

This is crazy, what you’re doing here,” and it becomes very musical and lyrical because I’m passionate about it. I know I can be better the more truthful I am about my life. I get a lot of power from speaking or singing that truth because singing can reach people where just talking at them doesn’t.

We are living in a time where we are seeing the face of activism changing from peaceful marches to young men chaining themselves to the gates of the White House. How does it feel to be living in changing times?

That’s where we are now. I think that we are such a loving people and to have to fight for a right to love is kind of crazy.

Most of us just want to be in our home and love our partner of choice or raise a family if we choose. To have to take to the streets is just kind of crazy, yet we will because we know it's right and it’s good for everybody.

The best activism we can do every single day is just to be ourselves openly because that’s where it starts: in your work, in your community and in your schools. | l |

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

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watermark | event planner

| April 15-April 29, 2010

Karmic Tattoo Girl-group Karmic Tattoo will be one of several acts featured at The Girlie Show at Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa on April 27.

Hair American Stage in the Park presents Hair at Demens Landing Park in downtown St. Pete April 21-May 16.

Taste of College Park The 7th Annual Taste of College Park brings its showcase of food and wine pairings to Dubsdread Golf Club on April 22.

film [TAMPA] Drool

The Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival will present its April film, Drool, at the Centro Ybor Muvico on Saturday, April 17, at 7:30 p.m. The film follows Anora, a married woman in a conservative town who falls for her new female neighbor. When her husband finds out, things get out of hand and gunfire is exchanged. For more information on the film or to order tickets, visit TIGLFF.com.

music [TAMPA] Talent Quest Sunshine State Nearly 200 of the state’s best karaoke singers will descend upon Ybor City on April 16-18 to participate in the first-ever Talent Quest Sunshine State Regional Final. The gay-owned contest will utilize both G. Bar and The Honey Pot on 7th Avenue on April 16 and 17 and the Top 10 finals will be at The Ritz Ybor on Sunday, April 18, beginning at noon. Winners earn full-paid trips to the September national Talent Quest finals in Nevada. For a full schedule and tickets, visit TalentQuestSunshineState.com.

Girlie Show

Freight Train Annie’s Girlie Show is back at Skipper’s Smokehouse on Tuesday, April 27.

The 7:30 p.m. show features Ashley Jones, indie rocker Chiefn’ Indian and lesbian group Karmic Tattoo. Tickets are $7 and are available at the door. For more details visit SkippersSmokeHouse.com.

theater [ST. PETERSBURG] Hair

American Stage will celebrate it’s 25th year of producing outdoor theater with the timeless

Hair, which opens Wednesday, April 21, and runs through May 16. The rock musical overflows with the spirit of progress and hope for a better world by following a group of young Americans searching for love and peace during the Vietnam era. This musical brought LGBT issues to the forefront when it was still very taboo, and songs like Let the Sunshine In and Aquarius are sure to bring the audience to their feet. For more information or tickets, visit AmericanStage. org or call 727-823-7529.

[WINTER PARK] Queer Quills: Spring’s Awakening

The Queer Quills reading series is tackling the controversial play Spring’s Awakening, the source material for the Tony Awardwinning musical Spring Awakening, which just happens to stop in Orlando this May. Heidi Dog Productions & Kangagirl Productions produce the reading, directed

by Jeremy Seghers. It takes place at the Breakthrough Theatre and benefits Paul M. Wegman Scholarships at Seminole State College & Valencia Community College.

Show starts at 7 p.m.

Torch Song Trilogy

Three plays by Harvey Fierstein will be presented as three acts during the Torch Song Trilogy at Breakthrough Theatre. The show runs April 16-May 2, on Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 2:30 p.m. The story centers around Arnold Beckoff, a torch song-singing Jewish drag queen living in New York City in the late 1970s and early 1980s, with each act focusing on a different stage of his life.

[TAMPA] The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

The MAD Theatre company presents The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee April 15-25. The local LGBT-friendly company brings the musical comedy to the Shimberg Playhouse within the Straz Center for the Performing Arts. For more

information and tickets, call 813-229-7828 or visit MadTheatre.com.

special events [ORLANDO] Runway for a Cure

Runway for a Cure is back again this year on Saturday, April 17. The fashion show benefiting The Hope and Help Center of Central Florida will feature local talent and also kicks off Parliament House’s annual White Party. This year’s show features a special performance by Blue Starr Productions and a raffle courtesy of the Gucci Boys. Tickets are $10 general admission and $20 VIP, which buys a runway seat, gift bag and signature drink of the evening. Both tickets include admission to the White Party immediately following the fashion show. To purchase tickets, visit HopeAndHelp.org.

Taste of College Park

The 7th Annual Taste of College Park brings its showcase of food and wine pairings to Dubsdread Golf Club on Thursday, April 22.

The Rotary Club of College Park will serve as host and the event lasts from 6–9:30 p.m. In addition to eats and drinks, live entertainment and both a live and silent auction will be on hand. All profits from the Taste of College Park go to local schools, local and international charities and the Ronald McDonald House. Tickets are $50 in advance at CollegeParkRotary.org or $55 at the door.

AIDS Walk

The Orlando AIDS Walk is in its15th year of fundraising for Hope and Help of Central Florida. The 2010 event is 9 a.m. on Saturday, April 24, at the Lake Eola/Walt Disney World Amphitheatre in downtown Orlando on Rosalind Street. Visit AIDSWalkOrlando.org for more information.

[SARASOTA] AIDS Ride

The Second Annual AIDS Ride benefitting Trinity Charities will be on Saturday, April 24, from 8 a.m. to noon beginning at Potter Park.

The community bike ride follows the Legacy Trail from Potter Park to Venice and back and food and refreshments are provided along the trail for participants. For more information visit TrinityCharities.org.

[TAMPA] West Florida Leather Incursion Gear Nite

Dust off that leather and join the West Florida Leather Incursion for Gear Nite on Saturday, April 17, at G. Bar in Ybor City. The Gear Nite is part of a movement to bring the leather community into the overall LGBT community and beyond. The gathering is from 9:30-11 p.m. Organizers ask that while leather be worn by members, the dress codes of the host establishment are respected.

O&A Book Club 1st Anniversary

It’s already been a year of great reading at Outings & Adventures. The social group for men will celebrate the one-year anniversary of its book club on Tuesday, April 20, at 6:30 p.m. in St. Petersburg. Exact details of the meeting are only available to members, but those interested are encouraged to learn more at OutingsAndAdventures.com.

Dining Out For Life

Restaurants from around Tampa Bay will donate 25% of each tab to the AIDS Service Association of Pinellas on Thursday, April 29, as part of Dining Out For Life. The night of food and fun is part of a national event focused on helping HIV/AIDS charities.

Watermark editor Steve Blanchard will serve as ambassador at Domain Food and Spirits in Gulfport during lunch and dinner.

For more information or for a full list of participating groups and restaurants, visit DingingOutForLife.com/TampaBay.

Got an event you’d like to see listed in Watermark? At least two to four weeks in advance, send all pertinent info—date, time, place, cost, contact information for readers to get more details, and what the event is about—to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com, and we will feature it in the paper on a space-available basis.

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

PRESENTS

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FOR A CURE VI FASHION SHOW

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lake Eola, Downtown Orlando

Registration 8:00am, Walk 9:00am

At

April 17 7:30 p.m.

th

Tickets

For Tickets and Info Call 407.645.2577

$10:: General Admission $20:: V.I.P Admission

Tickets Include Admission to the White Party Immediately Following the Runway Show.

Special Performance by::

Sign up to be a: Sponsor, Team Captain, Walker or Volunteer Also participate in the 6-legged walk with your dog!

Hair and Make-up by::

Sponsors::

For more information or to register, visit

www.aidswalkorlando.org

Signitur

A.M. markstone!

Benefiting the Hope & Help Center of Central Florida Poster Design:: www.benGonline.com

40

| April 15-April 29, 2010

watermark | tampa bay out+about

shot on site

1- Lisa Lampanelli performs at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater on April 10.

Photography | Steve Blanchard, Suzanne Noe, Anthony Paull and Carrie West

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2- The April 3 Sarasota Pride Women’s Dance at the Bobby Jones Country Club brought out women from throughout the Tampa Bay and Sarasota area.

3- Streetcar Charlie and Judy B. Goode both donned Easter bonnets for the Easter Sunday Brunch at Streetcar Charlie’s in Ybor City that looked good enough to eat!

4- (L-R) Tampa City Council Member Linda SaulSena exchanges campaign strategies with Dixie Longate at a Watermark-sponsored gathering prior to Dixie’s Tupperware Party.

5- (L-R) Tyler Velasco, Alexis De La Mer and 6-Pak celebrate a beautiful Easter Sunday at the Flamingo Resort’s T-Dance.

6- Photographer Jennifer Martin stands with some of her work during the Art Institute of Tampa’s show at Gallery Live in Ybor City on April 7.

tampa bay overheard “Ref” welcomes Tampa gay couple

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Tampa Bay continues to be a hotbed of budding reality stars, although this time, locals weren’t featured in a contest-style show. David Salinero and Michael Wigh, who were married in California in 2008, appeared on the new NBC show The Marriage Ref and discussed their fight over a life-statue of Boop. Salinero told the panel, which consisted of Tracy Morgan, Kathy Griffin and Nathan Lane, that Wigh has decorated every corner of their shared Tampa home with the 1930s cartoon character. The April 8 show was the first time a gay couple had been featured on the new Jerry Seinfeld-produced comedy.

Ultimately, the panel decided that the campy statue should stay put, and Salinero agreed to abide by that ruling.

Dixie meets Linda Saul-Sena The Watermark-sponsored pre- and postparties for Dixie’s Tupperware Party at Ruth Eckerd Hall were more successful than last year—and twice as hilarious.

The Tupperware Diva mingled with guests before the show, including Tampa City

Councilwoman Linda Saul-Sena, who shared with Dixie her plans to become a Hillsborough County Commissioner.

While the politician shared the news, Dixie cut her off mid-sentence, saying, “Yeah, that’s a great story, do you like these beef sausages?” Saul-Sena played along well, laughing, and Dixie eventually offered her own campaign advice. “Do you know what you could do for your campaign?” Dixie asked her. “You could cover yourself in glitter. That would make all the mentally handicapped people vote for you, but they might try to lick you.” Saul-Sena said she would consider the option, but admitted she would likely not use that strategy in her race.

Chambers returns For years, Chambers Night Club in downtown Tampa was the place to dance until 3 a.m. and catch the area’s best drag performances. It was even home to a large country line dancing movement in its “attic” space before it shut its doors back in 2008.

Many wax nostalgic about those days, but according to local performer Arica Love, Club Chambers is coming back. On Thursday, April 15, Club Chambers will reopen in its former building on Franklin

Got juicy gossip or amazing event photos? E-mail the dish or your photos (with full names of everyone pictured and event details) to Overheard@WatermarkOnline.com

watermark | orlando out+about

shot on site Photography | Rick Claggett, Jamie Hyman, Kevin Kolczynski and Jake Stevens 1– (L-R) Watermark blogger Scottie Campbell, Randy Stephens and Russ and Marky Russell are all smiles after naming Stephens the winner of a week-long trip to London.

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April 15-April 29, 2010 |

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2– Mariah Carey gave the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit and a few other of the coasters at Universal Studios a try on April 8.

3- HRC Field Director Jeremy Kennedy talks to more than 100 attendees during a “Voices of Honor” tour stop in Orlando on April 5.

4- Catherine Goodison and Janine Klein (front), along with Elizabeth Murff, Doug Ba’aser and David Lee, celebrated Goodison’s birthday with song during Kray Kray Karaoke at the Stonewall Bar on April 5.

5- Robin Maynard, founder of Libby’s Legacy Breast Cancer Foundation, and others attended the Scooters 4 Hooters event in the Wall Street Plaza.

6- Metropolitan Business Association technology director Mikael Audebert and MBA vice president Gina Duncan show off Audebert’s good luck at the MBA April networking event.

orlando overheard Bucks for Boobies

Hurrahs for Hoffman

Was it Dykes on Bikes or a sorority ritual?

Downtown onlookers weren’t sure what to make of the spectacle of thousands of rowdy women—many decked out in a most feminine powder pink—lined up on motor scooters on Sunday, April 11. Actually, it was the 4th Annual Scooters 4 Hooters Breast Cancer Charity Ride and Music Fest. And at one point the scooters on the south side of Lake Eola Park stretched down Central Blvd. almost all the way from Summerlin to Rosalind. After winding their way through many of Orlando and Winter Park’s most scenic neighborhoods, participants parked it at Wall Street Plaza for an energetic concert and party that felt a lot like a Pride event. But the focus was on breast cancer, including survivors who were serenaded with a rousing “Happy Birthday.” The event supports Libby’s Legacy Breast Cancer Foundation, which offers free mammograms to underinsured women, and grants wishes to stage-4 patients. At the end of the day, exhausted Scooters 4 Hooters organizer Sue-Bee Laginess posted a final Facebook message announcing the take for the day: a whopping $65,000.

There was a real buzz inside the soldout Margeson Theater at the Lowndes Shakespeare Center on Saturday night, April 10. Local cultural luminaries and theater types were enjoying the rare opportunity for an intimate evening with one of the most respected stage and screen actors of the day. And as keynote speaker for the Harriett Lake Festival of New Plays, Phillip Seymour Hoffman didn’t disappoint. Dressed in jeans and carrying a baseball cap, the Academy Award-winning actor was at once accessible and larger-than-life. He answered Orlando Shakes’ artistic director Jim Helsinger’s questions thoughtfully, and proved to be an animated storyteller. And he cracked up when Helsinger mentioned a recent statement by fellow actor Ewan McGregor that he would rather be paired with Hoffman than Jim Carrey, with whom McGregor is coupled in an upcoming film. In fact, the hulking Hoffman won his Oscar for his cast-against-type portrayal of diminutive and comically effete gay author Truman Capote. “For the firsttwo weeks of filming I was scared to death that I was ruining it for everyone,” Hoffman said in response to a question from the audience.

Based on two standing ovations, he hadn’t ruined it for anyone in Orlando.

Got juicy gossip or amazing event photos? E-mail the dish or your photos (with full names of everyone pictured and event details) to Overheard@WatermarkOnline.com

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Orlando sits amo before g from a p

Photos cou

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

43

Orlando student Derrick Valenti sits among his cluttered room before getting de-cluttering advice from a professional organizer.

Photos courtesy O. Levard Peoples

DE-CLUTTERING THE

SIMPLE ORGANIZING CAN HELP SUPPORT CLEANING HABITS rhetta peoples

O

rlando | Student Derrick Valenti has a confession: he is a clutter bug.

The gay college student juggles his studies and two jobs and says he doesn’t always have time to keep his place neat and tidy.

“I’m busy and try to maintain a social life,” he says. “I don’t have time to do anything.

It’s easy to say that he should just douse the floors with a little Mr. Clean and make everything April fresh, but what happens when it’s time to actually change our cleaning habits?

For Valenti, the biggest challenge is getting rid of his clutter.

“I was a messy kid,” he says. “I lived in pretty much a war zone because toys and crap were everywhere. My mom was the

type of mom that would go and clean my room for me.”

The challenge Valenti faces is fairly common. Keeping shoes nicely aligned in the closet—not to mention the bloody battle between clothes and their hangers—can be an ongoing battle, despite the season.

When asked if he was willing to hear some professional advice on his organizing skills, Valenti didn’t hesitate. He said he knew a few basic tips would take him far.

“It would make my life easier to de-clutter instead of having to pick through a pile of clothes and decide what I want to wear that night,” Valenti says. “If a person could organize my space and then give me tips as well as things to do that would make it a lot easier for me to maintain it, I could change.

If someone says there’s an easier process

then I would be more open to change.”

By organizing first, cleaning habits are more likely to evolve.

Get in the habit Fortunately for Valenti and other clutter bugs of the world, there are ways to get a handle on the clutter besides allowing it to consume large areas of your valuable living space. Trina Gregory, a realtor with Keller Williams Advantage Realty, says making small sacrifices can make clutter disappear and make household chores run much smoother.

The Orlando-based resident not only sells homes, she helps her clients get the most of their living quarters through decorating, organizing and keeping a well kept home while maximizing their living space.

“People have a tendency to connect feelings with objects and they associate memories with keeping things in their lives,” Gregory says.

Throwing those objects away is not usually an option for most nostalgic people, but organizing them in a fun way can actually add value and preserve those memories longer. For example, for someone who is a fan of Broadway shows and collects ticket stubs and show programs, turning them into a mural of memorabilia will not only save space, but provide some wall art.

“Being able to help people separate their feelings from objects is one of the greatest things in helping people to de-clutter,” Gregory says.

In Valenti’s case, Gregory thinks he Continued on page 48 | uu |

44

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45

a minute with...

Lesli Larmon horticuLturist erik caban

P

almetto, Fla. | Spring is in the air. Ahchoo!

Besides allergies, spring also gives rise to gardening and landscaping.

But gardening in Florida can be tricky—especially for the non-natives among us.

Some plants thrive in the summer heat while others can quickly cave to a large tropical storm or by temperatures near freezing.

Wondering what to do with those frost-bitten plants? Not sure what kind of plants will survive in your yard? Have a stubborn brown patch of grass?

Horticulturist Leslie Larmon of Accent Trees and Nursery in Palmetto has the answers.

Her nursery not only caters to the gardener in all of us, but also features a butterfly sanctuary for tours.

Larmon has been working with plants for more than 30 years. A Florida native, Larmon grew up in St. Petersburg. She graduated from the University of Florida with a B.S. in Environmental Horticulture and was one of five in her class chosen to do an internship at Walt Disney World. As a student teacher, she taught Plant Identification at the University of Florida.

She has advertised on ProSuzy.com and participated in events created by site founder Suzanne Noe. As we fast approach gardening season, Larmon helped us dig up some landscape techniques and tips.

For more information on Accent Trees and Nursery, visit AccentTreesAndNursery.com.

Where did the idea to educate and create gardens that are butterfly and bird friendly come from?

Since I’m a Florida native, I learned that’s imperative to keep them flourishing. Birds and butterflies bring so much pleasure to people. It is great for children, especially.

They’re quality of life will be better If we get them interested early on and they have a better understanding.

your location?

Simply call ahead and we can accommodate. We have people of all ages; from students to master gardeners.

Do you have any memorable projects?

I worked on a number of projects in St. Petersburg, including Curry Memorial Park. Several of my designs received “City of St. Petersburg Beautification Awards.” I also enjoyed working on my sister’s farm and Van Meter State Farm in Lexington, Ky.

“i’m not an advocate of grass because it needs a lot of water. i prefer small areas of grass and use more flowers since they attract birds and butterflies.”

What services do you offer?

Besides farm tours and annual Easter egg hunt, I’ve been working with the University of Florida to —LesLi Larmon develop a low-chill When just breeding method beginning, what for fruit plants, such would be the first as blackberries, landscaping issue peaches, citrus, mangos and blueberries. that one should look into?

Shade. Establish mature specimens, like How can someone sign up to get a tour trees. The placement is important because of the gardens and butterfly house at what you plant will mature and change the

Photo courtesy Lesli Larmon

environment. This is important especially if you want a pool. Oak trees are a good tree. They are deciduous and adapt well to changes. Stick with plants that are Florida natives as they are adaptable to sun and shade.

What is the best time of year to begin a landscaping project?

Early spring is good, but fall is the best as there is a smaller chance of fungus developing. High temperatures in the summer cause mycelia from the ground to spread and feed on your plants.

In Florida, is it best to use grass seed or to lay sod in order to begin a lawn?

Sod—but only in limited amounts. I’m not an advocate of grass because it needs a lot of water. Use a nutricote fertilizer. It is slow-

release and won’t burn your plants or run into the ground water/lakes. I prefer small areas of grass and use more flowers since they attract birds and butterflies.

What tips can you offer someone who isn’t familiar with landscaping?

I recommend calling a landscape designer to get an idea of what you are working with. Educate yourself. A few books I recommend for Floridians are The Gardener’s Guide to Florida Native Plants,

by Rufino Osorio; Native Florida Plants,

by Robert G. Haehle and Joan Brookwell; and My Garden, My Eden. And remember, “Right place. Right plant.”

Be cautious of our natural resources, like water. Plant Florida-native/friendly plants.

Respect the environment. | l |

46

| April 15-April 29, 2010

watermark | spring cleaning+home improvement

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ince the economy tanked, home sales have become sluggish and homeowners are focusing more on maintaining and improving their investments.

But figuring out where to start when it comes to improving your house or condo can be tricky.

Luckily, whether you are decorating inside or crafting the perfect landscape outside, great advice is available by consulting the experts.

Kevin Gage of Kevin Michael Interior Designs in Gulfport, Fla., says the biggest mistake most people make in decorating is that they accumulate too many things which may lead to a cluttered interior.

“As we get older we tend to get more stuff,” says Gage. “There’s nothing wrong with adding new things to your interior, but for everything new you add you should remove something old.”

Gage says a lot of the old rules have been relaxed when it comes to interior designs.

Today’s trends offer much more freedom to experiment and find what works best for each personality. He says that while there aren’t many real no-nos, there are a few things to keep in mind.

No fakes and keep it light “No to any kind of faux anything—paint or whatever,” says Gage. “Also, no silk plants or artificial plants of any kind. Real plant material, however, installed in a simple pot indoors can be the perfect accent in lieu of a piece of furniture and will warm the room.

“I also recommend because we live in Florida that customers stay away from dark colors. Lighter and brighter is best for most western and central Florida homes.”

With the recent movement in green technology, Gage says he sees more and more clients incorporating green technology into their living spaces. He says one of the easiest ways to “go green” indoors is to use natural fabrics and textures.

“Perhaps the strongest piece of advice I could give to those creating workable and livable spaces in Florida homes is to make the most of our weather and our environment,” he says. “We should strive to bring the inside out and the outside in. I’m seeing a lot of people adding outdoor kitchens, grills, seating areas, even outside showers and other features. There should be a natural flow from the interior to the exterior spaces.

“Many of our homes here in Florida are actually quite small, but by utilizing outside space as part of your entire living environment, you can effectively double or even triple your space.

Expand your living space Michael and Liz Growthers from Focal Point Nursery and Focal Point Landscaping in Orlando agree with Gage. Creating a natural flow between the interior of a home and an outdoor patio can add dimension to any size home.

“Outdoor kitchens on beautiful paver patios are a great way to take your insides outside and enjoy your landscaping and nature,” says Michael. “Fire pits and water features also set the ambience for a cozy night. Also install landscape lighting so you can enjoy your landscape at night and provide safety.”

Michael suggests adding Segmental Stack Stone walls which can add a third dimension to a landscape, especially in the

watermark | spring cleaning+home improvement flat lands of Florida.

With landscape retaining walls, homeowners can transform a flat yard into a flowing terrain that will capture the eye. It can be dressed with different sized plant material giving the privacy many people want without the stark appearance of a fence.

Liz addresses some common misconceptions and myths regarding common things in Central- and WestFlorida gardens.

One common mistake involves tree trimming—particularly when it comes to oak trees. Many homeowners will trim branches really high in order to show the trunking. However, that makes them into big wind sails, causing them to fall over easily in hurricanes.

“Have you ever seen a 300 year old live oak fall over?” asks Liz. “Their Using real plants—not silk—indoors can provide perfect accent pieces to furniture full limb structure to and improve air quality. the ground makes them a wind foil instead of a sail. If you have to trim Inexpensive ideas your tree, leave 30% of the sucker branches.”

Everyone is making cutbacks, even around Good advice, considering weather experts the house. But that doesn’t mean you have to are predicting an above-average hurricane have the same look in your décor for years on season, which begins June 1. end.

While we’ve dealt with some rough According to Linda Hatton, an interior hurricane seasons in decorator and the not-too-distant contributor to past, many gardeners InteriorDecorating. are dealing with the com, swap parties are “Real plant material aftereffects of one of gaining in popularity. installed in a simple the coldest winters in “Invite your friends Florida winters. to bring over bath or pot indoors can be the A timely tip for dish towels, small perfect accent in lieu gardeners facing yards decorative items, severely damaged by pictures, bedding, or of a piece of furniture.” this winter’s freeze pillows in clean and —Kevin GaGe, involves cutting back good condition that inteRioR desiGneR the dead frost-bit they would like to part limbs of a plant or with,” she suggests. tree. The Growthers “Determine the order recommend doing so just before the last full in which items will be chosen by having your moon of March. Florida can still see frost until guests each draw a number from a bowl.” then and the dead growth can actually serve as She also suggests reusing items in different an extra form of protection for the plant. capacities. For example, she says, use sheets Finally, anyone attempting an outdoor that are still in good condition as cloth napkins. project should be sure to fertilize his or her If you’re handy with a sewing machine, they investment in plant material. can easily be turned into drapes.

“We tell our clients to treat their plants and “You can also repaint your furniture, which trees like their children,” says Liz. “Feed them will transform any room,” Hatton says. “You well, make sure they always have the right can even give your dressers or cupboards a amount of fluids and shape and train them well whole new look by replacing drawer pulls without letting them get out of control so that and door handles. Get creative by using found they grow up to make you proud.” objects around the house such as utensils or puzzle pieces instead of standard pulls. | l |

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April 15-April 29, 2010 |

47

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| April 15-April 29, 2010

watermark | spring cleaning+home improvement

Tips To lose The cluTTer · · · ·

look at things objectively Throw away broken sentimental items if they can’t be fixed Donate unused items to charities

before

after

set aside just 15 minutes to de-clutter just one shelf, and when that shelf or that 15 minutes is up, celebrate your victory. Then tackle another shelf for 15 minutes the next day.

·

Take everything out of a shelf or drawer at once, then clean that shelf or drawer.

·

have a trash bag or give-away box handy while you’re de-cluttering your room.

·

Be merciless, especially when it comes to papers. Any bills or magazines older than a year should be tossed.

·

create a “maybe box” if you’re unsure whether you should toss something. Then, put that box in the attic or in the garage for safe-keeping.

·

create a system to stayed organized.

For example, when you take off your shoes, make it a habit to put them in your closet.

| uu | Declutterfrom p.43

of your closet that you are going to get rid of or donate,” she says.

should reorganize from the ground up— literally. She suggests that Valenti take the Keeping it clean clothes that normally litter his floor and hang Valenti took Gregory’s advice and is now them up on hangers. She advises to use only living in a clutter-free environment. But, as wood hangers with rubber grips because they a victim of his own childhood habits, it may are better at holding the shape of clothes. be difficult for him to remain de-cluttered.

“If he can tell But Gregory me if he’s actually remains optimistic. worn it in the last six “Everything “Being able to help months, then it gets is trainable and people separate their hung up with the conditional,” she hanger hook facing says. “If you do it feelings from objects backwards,” she for 30 days, you can is one of the greatest says. “If he hasn’t do it for life.” worn it in the last six According things in helping months but refuses to to Gregory, people to de-clutter.” part with it, then he rewarding one’s should turn it around new commitment —Trina GreGory, and hang it up on the to cleanliness with realTor and orGanizer hanger hook facing redecorating the forward.” bathroom or by Gregory uses her “hanger system” to purchasing a new clothing item is a way to check back with clients and follow up on ensure the new habit sticks. their use of clothing. She often suggests that She also reminds Valenti that “it’s okay clients who have not worn something within to throw it away.” the last six months donate it to charity.

For those items we use every day, “If you haven’t worn it in that long, Gregory suggests finding a home for chances are you won’t wear it,” she says. everything. Don’t just stuff shoes under She also has another suggestion for those the bed, she says, or toss clothes into the who are battling clutter but love to buy new closet. Make a commitment to organization clothing. and a clutter-free environment will develop “For every one thing that you go purchase naturally. | l | that’s new, you have to choose two things out

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

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congratulations After 17 years as a service advisor with Saturn of Orlando, Ty Ostreicher has joined the team at David Maus Toyota in Sanford.

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Orlando arts patron Jerry Baumeister, adorable Georgie’s Alibi—St. Petersburg server John Fletcher, and St. Pete non-profit-consulting professional Beth Fountain (April 18); Olde Town Properties Realtor Patrick James (April 19); Publix at Colonialtown pharmacist Rob Young (April 20); Sanford David Maus Toyota service team member Ty Ostreicher and Orlando Fringe event associate and director of marketing for David Dorman Inc., Scott Penyak (April 21); young and yummy bear

and owner of Tampa-based Crystal Clean cleaning services Michael DiCamillo, Orlando fashion plate Jamesson Beane and Rollins College director of dance Bob Sherry (April 22); Tampa Leather Club member and Brandon Office Depot manager Joseph Mastrapasqua, New York-based actor and Talent Quest Florida judge Christian Maier (April 23); St. Petersburg actor and theologian Tom Campbell, brilliant Central Florida artist and set designer Paul Horan, former Tampa resident and current Fort Lauderdale-based actor Larry Buzzeo, O-Town textbook editor and new mom Sara Lyna, and St. Pete Pride volunteer Scott Turner (April 24); Bradenton sculptor and artist Alan Neal and coordinator of ASAP’s Flamingo Resort project coordinator David Karst (April 25); straight-but-not-narrow Orlando scenesters Pete Gogan and Gary Bungart (April 26); Walt Disney World producer and entertainer Thomas J. Krinock Jr., USF grad student James Kelley and Clermont Meat Man and sexy muscle head Dale Johnson (April 27)

anniversaries Orlando Realtor David Dorman and his partner, marketing director Scott Penyak, celebrate their seventh anniversary together on April 19.

St. Petersburg’s Watermark distribution heroes and softball players Claude and John Granstrand celebrate 32 years together on April 17.

Send news about birthdays, passings, anniversaries, promotions, commitment ceremonies—and whatever you commemorate—to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com.

dothis!

watermark | advice

Taking the hard line ADVICE FROM

The Truth

Truth@WatermarkOnline.com

predicated entirely on David’s willingness to get the help he desperately needs to straighten out his life and get off the junk.

Crystal methamphetamine is a particularly cruel drug, one that experts say is among the most difficult to part from. As such, David has a long road ahead. At this point, with his stealing and his using, he can’t love you the way you need him to. (I have to ask: you had no inkling of troubles in paradise?)

As painful as it will be, you have to remove all enabling you’ve provided, whether you realized you were providing it or not. You can’t continue to pretend that you’re in a healthy relationship. If you decide to stay with David, and your love for him truly comes through in your letter, all plans together must stay on hold until he works out his issues.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t buy your dream house, but you should do it on your own, and let him understand that he can’t join you there until he stops his destructive behavior. The alternative is to watch everything you’ve worked so hard for go up in smoke. Providing him a soft place to land might seem like the humane thing to do. But here comes the Truth, baby: the best thing for you to do for David is to make it very clear to him the consequences of continuing to pull on the pipe.

Which means no house, no relationship, no you. Best of luck, Boo.

Dear Truth, What is the official Truth position Dear Truth, on screaming children in restaurants? y boyfriend, David, just revealed Recently, my parents came up from Miami to me that for the past six months and took my girlfriend and me to their he’s been using drugs, including favorite Ybor City restaurant to celebrate crystal meth. We are both in our early 20s. our birthdays. After we were seated, two We’ve been together almost four years and children from different families began we’re closing on our first home at the end screaming their lungs out. One of them, of the month. a child about 3, alternately screamed, David confessed that he has been using begged, whined and threw tantrums the money we set aside for bills to buy drugs. whole time. The other child was much He said he has also stolen money from our younger, but seemed to be keying off the best friend for the same purpose. older child.

He came to me on his own to tell me It was horrible! Our server could hardly all this. David has hear us to take our always been a sweet, order—and I’m caring guy. I love not exaggerating.

The best thing for him with all my We could not enjoy heart, but I’ve lost our dinner because you to do is to make my trust in him. of the piercing it very clear to him Now I don’t know shrieks coming what to do. I can from both sides of the consequences of hardly believe this the restaurant. Had continuing to pull on is happening. I still I done that when want to spend my I was little, my the pipe. life with him, but mother would have I’m nervous about taken me outside, committing my finances to someone I don’t if only to make the atmosphere more trust. What should I do? I need an answer pleasant for the other diners. The family in a hurry. with the older child ignored his behavior.

—Scared in Sanford This seems to happen more and more often, I’ve noticed.

Dear SIS, The families finally left, but both my I wish that stories like yours were rare girlfriend and I had splitting headaches in our community but, lamentably, they are from the noise. The diners around us were not. Your options are really quite limited and as uncomfortable as we were. Worst of

M

51

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

all, my parents kept apologizing for the miserable experience as if it was somehow their fault.

What, if anything, could we have done?

—Tired of Tantrums Dear TOT Hater, Honey, I’m with you. I remember back in the day what would have been the socially approved action: to remove the child from the restaurant until the tantrum was over.

But these days, where mothers and fathers seem to indulge their children more and more, selfishness dictates them continuing their meal, oblivious to the discomfort their offspring is engendering.

The Truth confronts. That’s me.

I would have asked the mother in question to take her child outside until the storm passed. That she didn’t know that on her own says such a request would have fallen on deaf ears and quite possibly provoked a counter attack, but it would have made me feel better.

For more equivocating types, a quiet aside to the manager may have resulted in the desired outcome. But I’m not holding my breath.

Here comes the Truth, baby: at the end of the day, you should just be happy that you don’t have to deal with the tsunami you witnessed at a distance. It was just one meal.

These parents have a lifetime in front of them of regretting not providing boundaries for their children, and having them understand their relative place in the world. | l |

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watermark | sports

| April 15-April 29, 2010

Out former pro wrestler dead at 40

briefs Navratilova battling cancer Sarasota resident and tennis legend Martina Navratilova has breast cancer.

The 53-year-old discovered a lump during a routine mammogram and had a lumpectomy in March. Her prognosis is excellent.

staff report New York, N.Y. | Former WCW and WWE tag team champion Chris Kanyon has died after what authorities are calling a suicide.

The 40-year-old wrestler’s body was found April 3 inside his New York apartment after apparently overdosing on medications. Early reports say he had taken his own life after leaving a pill bottle and several notes close by.

Kanyon, who’s real name was Christopher Klucsaritis, came out shortly

Ocala Olympian jailed on HIV charges Olympic Equestrian bronze medalist Daren Chiacchia was arrested in January when the Marion County Sheriff’s Office charged him with knowingly exposing his former partner to HIV. Chiacchia, faces up to 30 years in prison under a 1997 Florida law making it a felony for people with HIV to have sex without informing their partners of their status.

after retiring in 2004. Jason Powell of ProWrestling.net said that Kanyon had battled severe depression issues over the years and had talked about killing himself before. Doctors had also diagnosed him with bipolar disorder.

“He told one friend as recently as Monday (March 29) that he was having problems and was contemplating suicide,” Powell said.

Kanyon was best known for his time in WCW in the late 1990s, moving to WWE after Ted Turner’s company folded.

“It was very sad to hear about Chris’

Former pro wrestler Chris Kanyon was found dead in his New York apartment on April 3.

death,” said TNA Wrestling publicist Ross Forman. “I worked with Chris for years at WCW and, more than that, Chris was a friend. He was a champion in the ring who had great matches with many. Chris will be deeply missed.” | l |

Gay polo league sees success in South Florida

Weir fuels Lysacek gay rumors

staff report

Figure skater Johnny Weir fueled rumors about fellow skater Evan Lysacek’s sexuality during an appearance on Chelsea Lately in late March. When the host asked Weir about Lysacek’s ex-girlfriend, Weir answered with a wink that said more than words possibly could. Weir, coincidentally, will make a guest appearance at an Equality California fundraiser April 18.

Wellington, Fla. | Polo isn’t a sport related often to Florida, especially with South Florida’s LGBT community. But the fledgling Gay Polo League brought in more than 20 players for its first national polo tournament April 3.

The tournament was held at the Grand Champion Polo Club’s fields.

“We selected Wellington because we wanted people to know that we take our

polo seriously,” said league president Chip McKenney. “And Wellington is as serious as you can get when it comes to polo.”

The weekend-long competition culminated in a 3 p.m. champion match between Equestrian Life and Bluehorse. Equestrian Life won 4-3. Nearly 1,500 polo fans and Gay Polo League supporters attended the final day’s matches.

Each team was built around local Wellington professional players, including John Wigdahl, a member of the 1989 FIP

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World Championship USA polo team.

The VIP tent was host to a number of celebrities that included former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley, six-time Olympic dressage rider Robert Dover, and Gale Brophy.

“We just want to level the playing field,” Wigdahl said after the awards ceremony. “We don’t want to be treated any better or any worse than anyone else. We just want to be accepted as equals.”

For more information visit GayPolo.com or call 323-712-3514. | l |

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watermark | gossip

| April 15-April 29, 2010

billymasters

54

“She was very sweet. She asked me to sign her vagina. I didn’t have a pen, so I just did her hat instead.”

—Boy George talks about meeting Lady Gaga. Who would have thought he’d be the one to confirm Gaga had a vagina?

I

Dancing twins and Broadway reunions Billy Masters Billy@BillyMasters.com

’m of Albanian descent, so hitting my goal weight before the White Party in Palm Springs has been a challenge.

Other famous Albanians include the Belushi brothers—not really svelte. Regis Philbin is half-Albanian, so he only has half the problems. Kara DioGuardi and Eliza Dushku can claim Albanian heritage, and both look pretty damn good in a bikini. But Mother Teresa was Albanian, too. I probably land somewhere in the middle—not as hot as Kara or Eliza in a bathing suit, but probably could beat Belushi or Teresa without breaking a sweat.

The flurry of same-sex romances featured on soaps appears to be coming to an abrupt end. Luke and Noah will be history when As The World Turns goes off the air later this year. Now we hear that Fish and Kyle will be departing One Life To Live. The daytime drama’s producer simply said, “We are concluding the story that we set out to tell with Kyle and Fish. We are very proud to have broken new ground with a same-sex couple on daytime.” Actor Brett Claywell, who plays Kyle, learned of his dismissal in a disturbing way. He was at the production office to drop off the scenes he wanted submitted for an Emmy award and was told the storyline was ending in April. As Heidi

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Klum says, “One day, you’re in. The next day, you’re out.” We hear that Fish finds out he’s the biological father of a baby, the gay couple gets custody, and happily retreat to suburbia.

A gay couple may be leaving ABC daytime, but primetime is a different matter.

This season’s breakout hit, Modern Family, features a two men and a baby—and maybe they’ll soon have some company. The network has ordered a pilot called It Takes a Village, about a divorced couple raising their son with the help of their new partners.

The woman (played by Leah Remini) is remarried, but the twist is that her ex-husband is gay and has a hot spousal-equivalent of his own. The ex-hubby will be played by our bon ami Christopher Sieber and appearing as his boyfriend is sexy Cheyenne Jackson. The pilot was shot last week, so fingers crossed it makes the cut for next season. It certainly would be a happy partnership for Cheyenne and Christopher, who have been friends for eons and have collaborated on stage in the past.

Ever since the dynamic Elena Rogers took the West End by storm in a reconceived Evita, rumors have swirled that a revival of the hit musical would surface on Broadway.

Those rumblings have taken on renewed life with recent reports that Rogers has blocked off time next season to be in New York, and so has a pretty well-known man. Reporter Mike Fleming says, “I’ve heard that Ricky Martin has committed for a year-long run as Che Guevara.” It should be noted that Ricky’s not a theatrical virgin (nor any kind of virgin). He appeared as “Marius” in Les Misérables on Broadway back in 1996.

Excitement continues to build for La Cage aux Folles, another Broadway revival based on a successful West End production. Leading man Kelsey Grammer has announced that he’ll be playing both roles...obviously, not at the same time. When the show opens, Grammer will play “George” opposite Douglas Hodge, who won all the awards in the UK. After six months, Kelsey will move into the role of “Albin”. While we’ve heard of former “Cagelles” moving up the ranks in subsequent productions, I believe this will be a first.

My spies at 30 Rock tell me about a special Mother’s Day episode that just wrapped which features a bevy of Broadway belters.

Returning guest stars include Elaine Stritch

The divalicious Patti LuPone is just one of several Broadway stars scheduled to appear on a Mother’s Day episode of 30 Rock in May.

as Alec Baldwin’s mom, Patti LuPone as Judah Friedlander’s mom, Jan Hooks as Jane Krakowski’s mom, and Anita Gillette as Tina Fey’s mom. With Broadway regulars Cheyenne Jackson and Krakowski, the final scene will be something like Mother’s Day—The Musical.

If you’ve got something keeping you up all night, just drop a note to Billy@ BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Ricky ends up in La Cage (or, at the very least, with a “Cagelle”)! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible. | l |

Hunky actor Cheyenne Jackson is rumored to co-star with Christopher Sieber next fall in ABC’s It Takes a Village, a comedy about two gay men raising a child alongside a straight couple.

April 15-April 29, 2010 |

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