Watermark Issue 26.24: U=U by Watermark Publishing Group

November 27 - December 11, 2019 Issue 26.24

RESHAPING THE FACE OF HIV SATURDAY FEBRUARY 22, 2020 THE RITZ CARLTON, SARASOTA GALA CHAIRS: SUSAN MALLOY JONES TERRY MCKEE JAMES AMATO

DEBRA MESSING FOR TICKET AND SPONSORSHIP INFORMATION CALL: 941-300-4440 X10182 OR EMAIL: AHILL@CANCOMMUNITYHEALTH.ORG

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

PHOTO BY DENNIS GOLONKA

WITH SPECIAL GUEST:

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

DePartmentS 7 // BUreaU chieF’S DeSK 8 // centraL FLoriDa newS 10 // tamPa Bay newS 12 // State newS 13 // nation & worLD newS 19 // taLKing PointS 33 // commUnity caLenDar 35 // tamPa Bay oUt + aBoUt 37 // centraL FL oUt + aBoUt 38 // tamPa Bay marKetPLace 40 // centraL FL marKetPLace 45 // weDDing BeLLS / annoUncementS 46 // the LaSt Page

PAGE

When you have a disease with historical reputation that has been stigmatized, people make assumptions and then they communicate those assumptions to friends and family and things get out of hand ... We encourage everyone to start with an education on HIv. — HOPe & HeLP DeveLOPmeNT AND cOmmUNicATiONs DiRecTOR JOsHUA mYeRs

on the cover

PAGE

U = U: What does Undetectable = Untransmittable mean for U?

desiGn by dibenedetto/Wiedemann

Scan Qr coDe For

watermarKonLine.com

PAGE Dave Koz iS

27 coming to town:

The Grammy-nominated, out saxophonist heads to Florida for a holiday concert.

watermarK iSSUe 26.24 // nov. 28 - Dec. 11, 2019

march oF 2020

eQUaLity chamPS

tranS incLUSion

ShaDowLanD

PAGE Orange County Dems rally against GOP as they look ahead to general elections.

PAGE St. Petersburg and Tampa receive perfect HRC scores in annual MEI.

PAGE

read it online! In addition to a Web site with daily LGBTQ updates, a digital version of each issue of the publication is made available on WatermarkOnline.com

Lawmakers file bills to expand hate crime law to include gender identity.

Moving memoir revisits 1980s New York and the AIDS epidemic.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

Shower your partner in love and light. DATE NIGHT OUT NOV 24, DEC 3 & 10 Surprise the special someone in your life with a night to remember at Enchant’s, The Great Search. Take a romantic stroll through the world’s largest light maze, indulge in festive delicacies and share an exotic cocktail during Merry Hour. And, be sure to capture the memory with one of our professional photographers.

TROPICANA FIELD NOV 22 - DEC 29 TICKETS ON SALE NOW ENCHANTCHRISTMAS.COM

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

TAMPA BAY

BUREAU CHIEF’S

Ryan Williams-Jent TB BUREAU CHIEF Ryan@WatermarkOnline.com

DESK

Y HUSBAND AND I RECENTLY

marked three years of marriage, which is as strange to type as it was to celebrate. Not because I didn’t think we’d make it, I looked forward to our decades to come long before our wedding day, but because I’ve lost my perception of time.

A number of factors have contributed to my inability to understand the calendar year, Tampa Bay Bureau Chief among them operating in Watermark’s two-week press cycle, but I mostly attribute it to living in Florida. Even though I moved here more than a decade ago, I have yet to adjust to the lack of proper seasons; time �lies when you’re having sun. My birthday is a prime example. I’ll celebrate my 35th within this particular press cycle on Dec. 3, another sentence that’s strange to type. As an Ohio native, bundled-up birthdays in the thick of winter with central heating always marked the

end of each year. Now I wear shorts, pine for air conditioning and have no idea what decade it is. In my defense, “Dumbo,” “Aladdin,” and “The Lion King” hit theaters, new seasons of “90210” and “Will & Grace” aired on television and Cher toured the nation singing ABBA this year. Does anyone know what decade it is? We celebrated our anniversary at Disney World, our annual tradition, re�lecting on “three ears” of happily ever after at the happiest place on Earth. The day was magical, and while I’m always happy to revisit our big day, it also means re�lecting on 2016.

My husband and I were wed in the infancy of marriage equality, just over a year after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that same-sex couples had the right to marry. That long overdue ruling, as it remains today, is a fragile one. We fully grasped that as we said “I Do” just four days after the most divisive U.S. election in our lifetimes. Very little had prepared me for Hillary Clinton not to win the presidency, a sentiment the almost three million more people who voted for her over the White House’s current occupant might agree with. I still believe she’s the most quali�ied nominee for president that I’ve ever seen, certainly that I’ve voted for, and I’m With Her even now. That’s not to say I think she should run again, nor do I think she will. It’s my view that no one who ran in 2016 should seek the presidency next year, Donald Trump most of all. He’s been a disaster for this country and for the LGBTQ community in particular. Which brings me back to our wedding. I didn’t take his election very well and in my grief, uninvited family members and friends who’d voted for him from the ceremony. It wasn’t a good look. These were people I love and that I know love us, who graciously came to the wedding after I remedied my misstep. I’ll never understand their votes, and I certainly hope they don’t repeat them in the future, but they each had their reasons for casting the ballots that they did. As of late, as the LGBTQ community debates the merits of chicken sandwiches, advocates like Ellen DeGeneres and the latest presidential candidates entering the race, I’ve decided to try and channel the love from our wedding. It was the clearest example I’ve seen that we have more that unites us than divides. We’re stronger

WATERMARK STAFF Owner & Publisher: Rick Claggett • Ext. 110 Rick@WatermarkOnline.com Business Manager: Kathleen Sadler • Ext. 101 Kathleen@WatermarkOnline.com

CFL Bureau Chief: Jeremy Williams • Ext. 106 Jeremy@WatermarkOnline.com Tampa Bay Bureau Chief: Ryan Williams-Jent • Ext. 302 Ryan@WatermarkOnline.com Creative/Photographer: Dylan Todd • Ext. 102 Dylan@WatermarkOnline.com

together, as they say, and I plan on holding tight to that fact in 2020. We turn to another fact in this issue: that U = U, or Undetectable = Untransmittable. The scienti�ically-backed informational campaign seeks to raise awareness about the effectiveness of medication in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV. We discuss what it means for you with agencies in Tampa Bay and Central Florida. In Tampa Bay news, the scores are in and St. Petersburg and Tampa win big. The Human Rights Campaign has revealed that each of the cities received perfect scores of 100 in the organization’s annual Municipal Equality Index. We also honor the late Tampa philanthropist David Straz.

We’re stronger together, as they say, and I plan on holding tight to that fact in 2020.

In Central Florida news, the onePULSE Foundation releases detail about its 49 Legacy Scholarships program. The Orange County Democrats also strategize and in State News, the 16th annual SMART Ride raises a record sum for HIV/AIDS services throughout Florida. We re�lect on why those services are so critical in Arts and Entertainment, looking back to 1980s New York and the AIDS epidemic with “In the Shadow of the Bridge,” author Joseph Caldwell’s new memoir. We also get into the holiday spirit with saxophonist Dave Koz. Watermark strives to bring you a variety of stories, your stories. I hope you enjoy this latest issue.

CONTRIBUTORS REV. JAKOB HERO-SHAW

is the Senior Pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Tampa. He and his husband are the proud parents of two teenagers. Page 15

DR. STEVE YACOVELLI

is owner of TopDog Learning Group, LLC, a learning and development, change management, and diversity consulting practice based in Orlando. He’s also the Chief Inclusion Officer of LGBTInclusivity.com, a consulting group focused on LGBTQ equality in the workplace. Page 17

J.D. CERNA is

a St. Petersburg transplant from New York City, a former Washington Blade columnist and a GLAAD Media Award-nominated playwright. Page 21

SABRINA AMBRA, NATHAN BRUEMMER, SCOTTIE CAMPBELL, MIGUEL FULLER, DIVINE GRACE, HOLLY KAPHERR ALEJOS, JASON LECLERC, MELODY MAIA MONET, JERICK MEDIAVILLA, GREG STEMM, DR. STEVE YACOVELLI, MICHAEL WANZIE

PHOTOGRAPHY BRIAN BECNEL, NICK CARDELLO, BRUCE HARDIN, JAMARQUS MOSLEY, CHRIS STEPHENSON, LEE VANDERGRIFT

DISTRIBUTION LVNLIF2 DISTRIBUTING, KEN CARRAWAY, VANESSA MARESCA-CRUZ CONTENTS of WATERMARK are protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or part without the permission of the publisher. Unsolicited article submissions will not be returned unless accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Although WATERMARK is supported by many fine advertisers, we cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles, advertising, or listing in WATERMARK is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such organizations.

ORLANDO OFFICE Sales Director: Danny Garcia • Ext. 108 Danny@WatermarkOnline.com Senior Orlando Account Manager: Sam Callahan • Ext. 103 Sam@WatermarkOnline.com

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Senior Tampa Bay Account Manager: Russ Martin • Ext. 303 Russ@WatermarkOnline.com Founder and Guiding Light: Tom Dyer Tom@WatermarkOnline.com National Ad Representative: Rivendell Media Inc. • 212-242-6863

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WATERMARK is published every second Thursday. Subscription rate is $55 (1st class) and $26 (standard mail). The official views of WATERMARK are expressed only in editorials. Opinions offered in signed columns, letters and articles are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the newspaper’s owner or management. We reserve the right to edit or reject any material submitted for publication. WATERMARK is not responsible for damages due to typographical errors, except for the cost of replacing ads created by WATERMARK that have such errors.

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NOVEMBER 27 - DECEMB ER 11, 2019 // ISSUE 26 . 24 WAT E R M A R KONLINE .COM

central floriDa

bureau chief’s

Jeremy Williams CFL BUREAU CHIEF

Jeremy@WatermarkOnline.com

DeSK

s siNGeR ANDY wiLLiAms (NO

relation) stated in 1963 — and nearly every other singer and musician since then — “it’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

That’s right, it’s the holiday season, and this Central Florida Bureau Chief’s Desk publishes the day before Thanksgiving and my next one, the final one of 2019, will be out the day after Christmas. So this is my final opportunity to let you all know what I want for Christmas this year. Those of you who picked up Watermark’s annual Holiday Guide, and if you haven’t there is still plenty of time to do so, know that in it I asked Santa for a certain Google Pixel smartphone this year. Since the release of the Google Pixel 4 and the publication of the guide, a new shiny object was announced that has drawn my attention. Motorola announced this month that they were bringing back to hugely successful Razr phone that took the country by storm in the mid-2000s. The new Razr will

take the sleek, foldable design of the original and apply it to the smartphone. Yup, a smartphone that folds without creasing or breaking the screen. If you haven’t watched the Razr video yet, go to Motorola.com/US/Products/ Razr and check it out. I’ll wait ... I KNOW, RIGHT! So if you watched the video, you probably also saw that it is a bit pricey. The new Razr will set you back $1,500 and, for now, it is a Verizon Wireless exclusive. If that price tag is outside of what you were planning to spend on me, I do have something else you can get me and it won’t cost you any money. On social media, before you like, comment and/or share a story, please read it. Know more than just the headline and the source of the article before you tell all of

Facebook, Instagram and Twitter your opinion on it. Watermark, like most media outlets, recently ran a story on our website about Chick-fil-A announcing that they would no longer donate to anti-LGBTQ organizations. Much like stories about Donald Trump, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and celebrities coming out of the closet, stories about Chick-fil-A spark a lot of online debate. So when I looked at the Facebook numbers for the story I wasn’t surprised that, within the first 24 hours, Facebook showed that there were more than 100 reactions, nearly 200 comments and over 1,000 engagements (engagements being how many people clicked to look at the comments and reactions). What did surprise me is that only a small fraction of those people actually clicked through and read the story. Trust me, as an editorial team we love to see readers interacting with stories and enjoy reading how passionate each commenter is about topics they care about, and I assure you all news outlets, media channels and YouTube influencers feel the same way. But this holiday season, all I ask is that you read the article you are arguing for or against. Headlines, Tweets and Facebook posts are not intended to give you the entire story, just hook you enough to make you want to read more. Click, read and then comment — in that order. It’s that easy, and that is a gift that will bring holiday cheer all year, and you don’t even need to wrap it. And if you are looking to spend that much money on me, I am already a Verizon Wireless customer. In this issue, we have a story that you will definitely want to click through and read all about. As we approach World AIDS Day, we check in with members of Central Florida and Tampa Bay’s LGBTQ community

watermarK StaFF Owner & Publisher: Rick Claggett • ext. 110 rick@Watermarkonline.com Business Manager: Kathleen Sadler • ext. 101 Kathleen@Watermarkonline.com

CFL Bureau Chief: Jeremy Williams • ext. 106 Jeremy@Watermarkonline.com Tampa Bay Bureau Chief: Ryan Williams-Jent • ext. 302 ryan@Watermarkonline.com Creative/Photographer: Dylan Todd • ext. 102 dylan@Watermarkonline.com

as well as local HIV organizations to examine what it truly means to be undetectable and what’s the story behind the CDC’s slogan Undetectable=Untransmittable, or U=U. In Central Florida news, the Orange County Democrats discussed the 2020 general elections during their 2019 Masquerade Ball and onePULSE Foundation released information on The 49 Legacy Scholarships. In Tampa Bay news, Tampa and St. Petersburg are among the Florida cities to get perfect scores of 100 on the HRC Municipal Equality Index and we remember Tampa Bay philanthropist David A. Straz Jr. who passed away at age 77. In state news, lawmakers file

on social media, before you like, comment and/ or share a story, please read it.

bills to expand the current hate crime law to include gender and gender identity. We also check in with SMART Ride organizers as they announced that they raised a record $1.3 million for HIV/ AIDS services. In arts and entertainment, we chat with Grammy-nominated, out saxophonist Dave Koz as he heads to Florida with some very special friends for his 22nd annual Christmas tour and we speak with author Joseph Caldwell about his new book, “In the Shadow of the Bridge,” a memoir which chronicles the changing tide of artistic and gay life in 1980s New York City in the shadow of the AIDS crisis. From all of us here at Watermark, have a safe and happy holiday season and whether you are with friends, family or yourself, be sure to have a gay ole time.

contriBUtorS Rev. JAKOB HeRO-sHAw

is the Senior Pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Tampa. He and his husband are the proud parents of two teenagers. Page 15

DR. sTeve YAcOveLLi

J.D. ceRNA is

a St. Petersburg transplant from New York City, a former Washington Blade columnist and a GLAAD Media Award-nominated playwright. Page 21

SaBrina amBra, nathan BrUemmer, Scottie camPBeLL, migUeL FULLer, Divine grace, hoLLy KaPherr aLeJoS, JaSon LecLerc, meLoDy maia monet, JericK meDiaviLLa, greg Stemm, Dr. Steve yacoveLLi, michaeL wanzie

PhotograPhy Brian BecneL, nicK carDeLLo, BrUce harDin, JamarQUS moSLey, chriS StePhenSon, Lee vanDergriFt

DiStriBUtion LvnLiF2 DiStriBUting, Ken carraway, vaneSSa mareSca-crUz CONTENTS of WATERMARK are protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or part without the permission of the publisher. Unsolicited article submissions will not be returned unless accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Although WATERMARK is supported by many fine advertisers, we cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles, advertising, or listing in WATERMARK is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such organizations.

orLanDo oFFice Sales Director: Danny Garcia • ext. 108 danny@Watermarkonline.com Senior Orlando Account Manager: Sam Callahan • ext. 103 sam@Watermarkonline.com

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

Senior Tampa Bay Account Manager: Russ Martin • ext. 303 russ@Watermarkonline.com Founder and Guiding Light: Tom Dyer tom@Watermarkonline.com National Ad Representative: rivendell media inc. • 212-242-6863

1300 N. Semoran Blvd. Ste 250 Orlando, FL 32807 TEL: 407-481-2243

tamPa Bay oFFice 401 33rd Street N. St. Petersburg, FL 33713 TEL: 813-655-9890

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

central florida news

onePULSE releases Details on The 49 Legacy Scholarships program Jeremy Williams

RLANDO | The onePULSE Foundation announced Nov. 18 that the application period for the inaugural 49 Legacy Scholarships will begin Dec. 1. The 49 Legacy Scholarships program will award 49 individual scholarships annually — each up to $10,000 — for use at an accredited institution of higher learning, including career and technical schools. “We will never forget the 49 Angels taken from us that day. This scholarship program will honor each victim and continue their legacy,” said onePULSE Foundation Board of Trustees Chairman Earl Crittenden in a statement. “Each Angel was special and loved, and we hope that through these scholarships, generations of students and professionals will continue to be empowered and inspired by their lives.” onePULSE worked with the families of each of those who were killed in the Pulse tragedy to establish the scholarships based on the respective victims’ interests, careers or aspirations. The 49 scholarships cover a wide range of careers including healthcare, business, cosmetology, social science, communications and the arts. Several of the scholarships are open to any field of study. “We know that Shane is sitting with the Angels now, and we believe that he would be so delighted that a scholarship fund of this kind could enable aspiring vocalists to reach their full potential professionally,” said Corliss and Stephan Tomlinson, parents of Shane Tomlinson, a singer who was among the 49 people killed in the tragedy. “We know that this scholarship will also do a lot to ensure our son will never be forgotten.” onePULSE states that several factors will be considered when selecting each scholarship recipient including the applicant’s personal story, financial need or independence, strong academic or self-improvement interest, and proven track record of leadership, community involvement and/or work experience. The nonprofit also stated that preference will be given to applicants who are immediate family members of the 49 victims, as well as all of the survivors of the tragedy, and strongly encourage family members and survivors to apply. High school seniors as well as students already enrolled in an institution of higher learning are eligible to apply. The scholarship application will be online starting Dec. 1 with a deadline to submit of Jan. 31. The 49 scholarship recipients will be notified in the spring of 2020 and will be available for use during the 2020-21 academic year. onePULSE established the 49 Legacy scholarship program as a part of its four pillars mission to “create and support a memorial that opens hearts, a museum that opens minds, education programs that open eyes and legacy scholarships that open doors.” Any individual, group or organization who would like to donate to the 49 Legacy Scholarship program can do so at onePULSEFoundation.org/Scholarships. You can also view the full list of scholarships and, starting Dec. 1, view information on how to apply.

Dem Leaders: (L-R)

OCDEC chairman Wes Hodge, DNC Secretary Jason Rae and FDP Chairwoman Terrie Rizzo at the OCDEC Masquerade Ball in Orlando. Photo by Jeremy Williams

March to 2020 Orange County Dems rally against GOP as they look ahead to general elections Jeremy Williams

RLANDO | It was an evening of magic and masks as the Orange County Democratic Executive Committee (OCDEC) hosted its 2019 masquerade ball at The Mezz in Orlando Nov. 16. While the atmosphere was one of celebration, the evening’s message was one of focus and readiness as the democratic speakers spoke of the dangers of the current administration. “This is not the Republican Party of your father, not the Republican Party of Ronald Reagan and certainly not the Republican Party of Abraham Lincoln. This is the Republican Party of Donald J. Trump,” said Florida Democratic Party Chairwoman Terrie Rizzo. The evening’s event featured a collection of democratic speakers including U.S. Reps. Stephanie Murphy and Darren Soto, OCDEC chairman Wes Hodge and special guest, Democratic National Committee (DNC) Secretary Jason Rae. Rae, who is the youngest person elected to the DNC executive

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

leadership and is the committee’s highest LGBTQ member, got his start in the Democratic Party while still a teenager. “I organized for progressive candidates in my hometown in rural northern Wisconsin before I could even drive. I biked to county party meetings before I could vote and I was elected to the DNC before I was even out of high school,” he said. Rae, who was first elected to the DNC when he was 17 years old, became secretary in Feb. 2017. “Now at 32, I’m the youngest officer of our party and the first openly LGBTQ secretary that our party has ever had,” he said. “I’m not only honored to have that role but to get to fight alongside democrats across this country everyday as we work to take back our democracy.” Rae told the crowd that he was proud how democrats responded after the 2016 election and that was one of the reasons he ran for secretary in 2017. “We didn’t quit, we didn’t give up, we didn’t think all hope was lost. Instead we organized,” he said. “The DNC recommitted to the grassroots through historic changes in our nominating process because

we knew that the future depended on what we did in this moment. That what we did was a matter of American history. Because of all that work and all that organizing we’ve seen success.” Some of the successes the DNC have seen since Trump became president, Rae points out, include Doug Jones of Alabama being elected to the U.S. Senate in 2017 and the democrats taking back the U.S. House of Representatives in 2018, but said the recent elections show that the “work of the DNC is paying off.” “The results from earlier this month should send shivers down the spines of Donald Trump and every Republican running in 2020,” Rae said. Rae highlighted key election victories including democrats taking control of councils in several Pennsylvania counties, flipping the Virginia state House and Senate and taking the governor’s mansion in Kentucky. “Democrats are energized and our party revitalized. We are competing in every election and every state. We’re running on our values and we’re channeling unprecedented energy in that voting booth. That’s how we won races across the country in 2018, how we won races two weeks ago and how we’re going to beat Donald Trump in one year,” Rae said. Information on the Orange County Democratic Party can be found at OrangeFLDemocrats.com. Florida’s democratic primary is March 17, 2020.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

tampa bay news

Tampa Bay philanthropist David Straz dies at 77 Ryan Williams-Jent

AMPA | Tampa Bay philanthropist and former Tampa mayoral candidate David A. Straz Jr. has passed away. He was 77. Jarrod Holbrook, Straz’s former mayoral spokesperson, announced Straz’s passing in a statement late Nov. 18. “It is with a heavy heart the Straz family regrets to inform you that while on a recent fishing trip with close friends David A. Straz, Jr. passed away peacefully in his sleep,” he shared. While Straz lost his mayoral bid to Tampa Mayor Jane Castor earlier this year, he is best known for his dedication to the arts. In 2009, Tampa’s Straz Center for the Performing Arts took his name after he donated the then-largest individual philanthropic gift made to a cultural institution in Tampa Bay. “My wife, Catherine, my daughter, Keebler, and I are happy to invest in the performing arts in Tampa and to help guarantee a wonderful experience for generations to come,” Straz said at the time. The amount of the gift was not unveiled. Community leaders and organizations reacted to Straz’s death following the news. “It is with a heavy heart that the Straz Center mourns the sudden passing of David A. Straz, Jr.,” the Straz Center shared. “We cannot thank him enough for not only his commitment to our performing arts center, but also his great love of this community. He will be missed.” “I’m saddened to hear about the passing of Mr. Straz,” Mayor Castor said in a statement. “David’s indelible contributions to this city will be a part of our cultural fabric for decades to come. My heart goes out to the entire family during this very difficult time.” “Very sad news about David Straz,” St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman also shared. “His legacy is evident all around us. Beyond being grateful for his philanthropy in our region, I had a personal affinity for him and will miss him. My condolences to his family and all those touched by his kindness.” Straz’s private foundation, which was founded more than 20 years ago and in 2018 was valued at $72 million in assets, listed $1,268,000 in grants to more than three dozen organizations last year. Recipients included Tampa Pride. “Happy trails to former mayoral candidate and philanthropist David Straz who made a tremendous impact on so many lives in the city of Tampa with his incredible generosity,” Tampa Pride shared following Straz’s death. “The Straz Foundation was also a friend and supporter of Tampa Pride. Thank you Mr. Straz for everything.” Hundreds attended a public visitation for Straz at the Straz Center on Nov. 23. The philanthropist is survived by his wife, Catherine Lowry Straz, and daughter, Keebler Straz.

TAMPA BAY PROUD: Mayor

Kriseman (L) and Mayor Castor respectively celebrate St Pete Pride and Tampa Pride 2019. Photos courtesy Kriseman and Castor.

Equality Wins St. Petersburg, Tampa receive perfect HRC scores Ryan Williams-Jent

AMPA BAY | The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) announced Nov. 19 that the cities of St. Petersburg and Tampa each received a perfect score of 100 in the organization’s annual Municipal Equality Index (MEI). The MEI examines how inclusive laws, policies and services are for LGBTQ people who live and work in the 506 cities rated. The score is based on non-discrimination laws, the municipality as an employer, law enforcement and the city leadership’s position on equality. “Cities and municipalities are meeting and exceeding HRC’s inclusion standards with innovative measures to protect LGBTQ people,” HRC shared. A record 88 cities across the U.S. earned the highest possible score – also including I-4 corridor neighbor Orlando – up from 78 in 2018 and only 11 in 2012, the MEI’s first year. “We are incredibly proud to have received a perfect score

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

for the fifth year in a row,” St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman shared with Watermark. “It is a reflection of our values and policy advancements and serves as a vital message point for us when recruiting people and businesses to our city. “We recognize that building an inclusive city never ends,” he continued. “There’s always work to do. We are committed to this work and ensuring that LGBTQ residents and visitors forever view St. Pete as a beacon of progress. Thank you to HRC for this program and accountability, to my city team, and to our residents for making sure the sun shines on everyone in St. Pete, regardless of who you love.” “For the fifth consecutive year, our city demonstrates its continuing commitment to equality for the LGBTQ community and for all that live in our great city,” St. Petersburg LGBTQ Liaison Jim Nixon added. “With the passage this year of our citywide anti-bullying policy that includes sexual orientation and gender identity and gender expression in all youth facing services and

the resolution to include LGBTQ businesses in the city’s Small Business Enterprise, we have committed to the work that keeps our city on the path to equality.” Tampa Mayor Jane Castor, who earlier this year became the city’s 59th and first openly LGBTQ mayor, also celebrated the news. “It’s no surprise to me that the City of Tampa has once again received a perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index’s Score,” she shared. “Tampa was founded on our diversity and that diversity is inclusive and welcoming to all,” she continued. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it is my hope that someday we will reach a point where everyone is judged by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin; that no one loses their life because of the God they worship; that who you love does not matter as much as that you love and are loved.” “These inclusive and welcoming cities are standing up to the unrelenting attacks on the LGBTQ community by the Trump-Pence administration, and sending a clear message that the fair and equal treatment of our community, our families and our neighbors is a true American value,” HRC President Alphonso David said in a statement. To view the HRC’s full report, including St. Petersburg and Tampa’s detailed scorecards, visit HRC.org/MEI.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

state news

Smart riDe cycLeS into recorD-BreaKing year Ryan Williams-Jent

rganizers revealed Nov. 16 that SMART Ride 16 raised a record $1,325,427, 100% of which will be used for HIV/AIDS services throughout Florida. The annual trek is a two-day, 165-mile bicycle ride from Miami to Key West. It is the nation’s second largest AIDS bicycle ride and the only one of its size to donate the entirety of funds raised to AIDS service organizations. A number of SMART Ride’s top fundraisers and teams stem from Tampa Bay and Central Florida. Current beneficiaries include Broward House in Wilton Manors, Children’s Diagnostic & Treatment Centers in South Florida, Metro Inclusive Health in Tampa Bay, Pridelines in Miami-Dade County, AIDS Help in Monroe County, Miracle of Love in Central Florida and Compass Community Center in Lake Worth Beach. Donations for SMART Ride 16 will be accepted until Dec. 31, 2019. Registration for SMART Ride 17, which will be held Nov. 20-21, 2020, is now open. For more information or to donate funds, visit TheSmartRide.org.

LawmaKerS FiLe BiLLS to eXPanD hate crime Law Jeremy Williams

awmakers in both the Florida House and Senate filed joint bills this month ahead of the state’s 2020 Legislative session that would expand Florida’s current hate crime laws to include gender, gender identity and physical disability. The bills would also add “association with” and “mixed motive” hate crimes to the current law. Senate Bill (SB) 940, called the Crimes Evidencing Prejudice bill, was filed by state Sen. Kevin Radar (D-Boca Raton) on Nov. 14 and House Bill (HB) 655, called the Offenses Evidencing Prejudice bill, was filed by state Rep. Joseph Geller (D-Miami/Dade) with Rep. Rick Stark (D-Weston) and Rep. Jackie Toledo (R-Tampa) on Nov. 15. “Protecting Floridians from hate motivated violence should not be a democratic or republican issue, but one that brings us all together, therefore [the Anti-Defamation

League (ADL)] commends the bi-partisan sponsorship of this bill,” said Sheri Zvi, ADL’s Florida regional director, in a press release Nov. 18. “Closing the loopholes in Florida’s hate crime law is long overdue and we urge members from across the aisle to co-sponsor this critical legislation.” The bills were applauded by the Florida Hate Crime Coalition (FHCC). The FHCC is a coalition composed of 214 statewide members, including the ADL, law enforcement leaders (14 police chiefs, four sheriffs, and seven state attorneys), elected officials (39 mayors, two city commissions and one county commissioner), civil rights groups and other nonprofit organizations. “Passing this bill in the Florida legislature is a no-brainer,” said Jeanette Jennings, mother of trans activist Jazz Jennings and founder of TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation, an FHCC member. “Too many in our state do not currently enjoy the same protections from

criminal acts motivated by bias and hate, and this directly impacts the transgender community. Anyone who is targeted in Florida specifically because of the outward expression of their gender identity, currently has no protection under our hate crime law.” The bills come as the FBI released its annual report showing hate-crime violence nationwide hit a 16-year high in 2018. The report shows overall numbers remaining about the same, but the FBI saw numbers for bias-driven property crimes go down by 19% and aggravated assaults were up 4%, simple assaults were up 15% and intimidation was up 13%. While numbers are reported as nationwide, state and local agencies are not required to report hate crime numbers to the FBI, leaving many cities’ and states’ data missing from the totals. Additionally, experts say less than half of hate crime victims go to police. If passed, SB940 and HB655 would go into effect Oct. 1, 2020.

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

nation+world news

AIDS Quilt moving to San Francisco Lou Chibbaro Jr. of The Washington Blade, Courtesy of The National LGBT Media Association

he Atlanta-based Names Project Foundation, which has served as the custodian of the massive AIDS Memorial Quilt since 1987, is turning over that task to the San Francisco-based National AIDS Memorial, officials with both organizations announced at a Washington ceremony Nov. 20. The officials, who were joined by U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, also announced that the two organizations have agreed to donate the “care and stewardship” of the Quilt’s large archival collection of artifacts and documents to the Library of Congress’s American Folklife Center in Washington. A joint statement released by the foundation and the National AIDS Memorial says the Quilt currently consists of over 50,000 individual 3-by-6 foot memorial panels commemorating more than 105,000 people who have died of AIDS since the start of the epidemic in the early 1980s.

“This historic decision will return The Quilt to the San Francisco Bay area, where 32 years ago during the height of the AIDS epidemic, a group of strangers gathered at a San Francisco storefront to remember the names and lives of their loved ones they feared history would forget – and with that seemingly simple act of love and defiance, the first panels of The Quilt were created,” the statement says. “This is the culmination of decades of work that achieves a vision long held by The Names Project leadership who, armed with an unwavering commitment to The Quilt, were determined to see that the AIDS Memorial Quilt would stand the test of time,” said Julie Rhoad, president and CEO of the Names Project in the joint statement. “With this set of new caretakers, we are confident that the legacy of The Quilt and the Names Project is secure,” she said. The National AIDS Memorial is the organization that operates the National AIDS Memorial Grove located at a site in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. It also oversees various memorial related programs and projects, including the Pedro Zamora Young Leaders Scholarship program.

“The mission of the National AIDS Memorial is to provide, in perpetuity, a place of remembrance so that the lives of people who have died from AIDS are not forgotten and the story is known by future generations,” the memorial’s website says. The Names Project Foundation says the foundation has been in charge of caring for and displaying the AIDS Memorial Quilt since its founding in 1987. It notes that in October 1987, the Quilt’s first 1,920 panels were displayed on the National Mall in D.C., where a half million people came to see it. The joint statement this week by the foundation and the National AIDS Memorial announcing the transfer of custody over the Quilt to the National AIDS Memorial didn’t provide a reason for the change. “This archival collection currently totals more than 200,000 items,” it says. “It includes biographical records, correspondence, photographs, tributes, epitaphs, news clippings and artifacts submitted by panel makers that add context about the lives memorialized on The Quilt panels.” More details about the Quilt can be found at AIDSMemorial.org.

of reported killings of trans and gender-diverse people Oct. 1, 2018 – Sept. 30, 2019. The 2019 update revealed a total of 331 cases of reported killings of trans and gender-diverse people between those dates. “The majority of the murders occurred in Brazil (130), Mexico (63) and the United States (30), adding up to a total of 3314 reported cases in 74 countries worldwide between 1st of January 2008 and 30th of September 2019,” the report reads. “Stigma and discrimination against trans and gender-diverse people is real and profound around the world, and are part of a structural and ongoing circle of oppression that keeps us deprived of our basic rights,” it continues. “Trans and gender-diverse people are victims of horrifying hate violence, including extortion, physical and sexual assaults, and murder. In most

countries, data on murdered trans and gender-diverse people are not systematically produced and it is impossible to estimate the actual number of cases.” Since beginning the TMM project, TvT has registered the murders of 3317 trans and gender-diverse people worldwide. The killings are catalogued as reports of murdered trans and gender-diverse persons, without further classification, because “The classification of the murder of a trans/gender-diverse person as a hate crime is often difficult, due to a lack of information in the reports as well as the lack of national monitoring systems.” You can read more about the TMM and TvT Worldwide’s work at TransRespect.org.

Report shows 331 trans murders in last year John Paul King of The Washington Blade, Courtesy of The National LGBT Media Association

n advance of International Transgender Day of Remembrance Nov. 20, Transrespect versus Transphobia (TvT) Worldwide released the annual results from its Trans Murder Monitoring (TMM) research project. The TMM project is devoted to the systematic collection, monitoring and analysis of reported killings of gender-diverse/ trans people worldwide. It was established by TvT Worldwide in 2009, using data from 2008 onward. This year’s update, which was published on the organization’s website Nov. 11, reported 331 cases

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

in other news Pope compares anti-LGBTQ politicians to Hitler Pope Francis compared politicians who use hate speech against LGBTQ people and other minority groups to Adolf Hitler. “It is not coincidental that at times there is a resurgence of symbols typical of Nazism,” Francis said Nov. 15 at an international law conference. “And I must confess to you that when I hear a speech [by] someone responsible for order or for a government, I think of speeches by Hitler in 1934, 1936.” He added that “with the persecution of Jews, Gypsies and people with homosexual tendencies, today these actions … represent ‘par excellence’ a culture of waste and hate. That is what was done in those days and today it is happening again.”

Kansas City bans conversion therapy

The widely discredited practice of conversion therapy, which purports to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity, will not be allowed in Kansas City. The city council approved an ordinance banning it on Nov. 14. The city’s ban will apply only to minors and to licensed medical or mental health professionals. It does not bar religious leaders from talking to young people about their sexuality or gender identity. The practice has also been banned in Columbia. A St. Louis aldermanic committee approved similar legislation Nov. 13, sending the issue to the full Board of Alderman.

Hong Kong reaffirmed for 2022 Gay Games

Organizers of the Gay Games, the quadrennial international LGBTQ sports event, are committed to holding the 2022 Gay Games in Hong Kong despite ongoing pro-democracy protests. A statement by the Federation of Gay Games (FGG) and the Gay Games Hong Kong Management Team says the decision was reaffirmed in early Nov. “While we fully recognize the troubles in Hong Kong continue, the FGG Board and the attending members are … committed to the Gay Games in Hong Kong, which will be a spectacular sports and cultural event that will kick-start and foster LGBTQ+ connections among our communities in the city and region,” the statement says.

Chick-Fil-A reconsiders donation policy

Fast food restaurant Chick-fil-A is ending donations to three groups in an effort to halt protests and broaden its customer base. The Atlanta-based company said Nov. 18 that starting next year, it will focus its giving on three areas: hunger, homelessness and education. “This decision was made to create more clarity – and to better address three critical needs facing children across the communities Chick-fil-A serves,” the company said in a statement. Chick-fil-A President Tim Tassopoulos said the company will still consider donations to faith-based groups. GLAAD said it greeted the news with “cautious optimism,” adding Chick-fil-A has made similar pledges before.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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viewpoint

rev. Jakob Hero-shaw

QUeerLy BeLoveD When “No” is the Greatest Gift

T’s A PAiNfUL ReALiTY

that “the most wonderful time of the year” is often quite brutal. We get invited to events and parties and told to leave the essence of ourselves behind. Nothing says “happy holidays” like the reification of gender norms. Heteronormativity appears to be at the center of our holiday celebrations, whether of the religious or secular variety. Just because something is expected to be a certain way, does not mean it is right.

There is nothing sacred or holy that sets heterosexuality and gender normativity above queerness. We have been taught so many lies about ourselves, eventually we start to believe them. This is the time of year when self-doubt can run wild. Somewhere between the cheerful music and the shopping we can easily lose our resolve. As we shovel one more spoonful of green bean casserole into our mouths, this is the time when many of us feel pressure to conform. We abandon ourselves for the image assigned to us by the people we came from. We might even do this to the peril of those who actually do love us unconditionally. Far too many among us are invited to the table with the stark reality of the conditions and self-sacrifice that will entail. Why is it the people who speak most about “family values” are the same people who value their actual

family members the least? If you cannot be fully yourself when you sit down at the family meal, I encourage you to find a different table. Is an invitation to a family gathering really an invitation if you are asked to bring anything other than your whole self? If you need to “tone it down” or if you cannot bring (or even speak of) the person you love, then you have not been invited to a family gathering at all. If your parents told you that you can’t be loved for who you are, they are wrong. I am a dad and I am telling you that you are amazing and lovable. One of the things I have learned, as a parent, is that parents are often clueless and stumbling along, just trying to figure it out. Although I will definitely have to hide this issue of Watermark, so my teenagers don’t see me admit this: let me assure you that parents make mistakes. Parents and other family members might act from a place of fear and resort to exclusion. In this case, the only option is to set firm boundaries. Sometimes the best gift you can give another person for the holidays is the word “no.” The person who invites you to a party and is scared you might be yourself when you arrive, gift them with a “no.” The elderly aunt who leaves you a voicemail to make sure you know you are welcome, “but this is for family, so don’t bring your special friend,” offer her the gift of a “no.” If your family invites you but won’t use your correct name or pronouns, offer them the loving gift of your absence; tell them “no.” If they invited you, but did not want the real you, then no, you do not have to attend. I do realize that this might be an impractical suggestion for many in our community who have family events that they cannot skip. If attending and hiding your true self is your only option, I encourage you to hold fast

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

to the essential qualities that make you exactly who you are. What do you need to feel whole? What do you need to feel seen? What reminds you of who you really area? Claim that for yourself and hold on to it – no one can take it away from you. The queer community

our own families, based on something more important than genetics. No matter where this holiday season takes you (geographically or emotionally) remember that your queer family loves you exactly as you are. You don’t have to tone it down, you don’t have to hide or

in need of support, you can call the trans lifeline at 877-565-8860. Lastly, if you just need a dad to tell you that you are okay, but your own dad cannot or will not, listen to me. I am a dad and although parents sometimes say the wrong thing, I can say this

has a lot to teach our non-queer friends and family members. Most of us have spent a lifetime being told that our love is wrong, that our mannerisms are wrong, that our gender presentation is wrong, and other such nonsense. From this, we have learned that we are not the ones who are broken. Many of us have redefined what “family” means. We have created

pretend. You are seen. You are whole. You will get through this. If the holiday season truly is too much for you, please reach out for help. You can contact me directly, or find another LGBTQ-affirming faith leader. If you are in a crisis and in danger of harming yourself, please call 911 or the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255. If you are a trans person

with authority: You are wonderful. You are loved. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. I am so proud of you!

It’s a painful reality that ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ is often quite brutal.

Rev. Jakob Hero-Shaw is the Senior Pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Tampa, MCCTampa.com. He and his husband are the proud fathers of two wonderful children.

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November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

viewpoint

Dr. steve Yacovelli

homo e r ec tus:

the evoLUtion oF US Flexing your Leadership Courage

ememBeR iN “THe

Wizard of Oz” how the Cowardly Lion — when he got to see the Wizard — was like, “What? I already had courage? WTH?” I mean, it was kinda poopy that the Wizard made the poor cat go through that drama, only to say, “That gift you want? You already got it!”

Well, leadership courage is a lot like that. When leaders ask me, “How can I get more courageous in my leadership?” I share that — like the Lion — you already got this, just tap into it (or click your heels a few times like Dorothy)! At its core, it’s easiest to think of courage as that adrenaline-filled action hero that we see in the movies. Amazon warriors like Wonder Woman, death-facing young wizards like Harry Potter, countless soldiers and sailors entering the battle to win the war: we see these images and get an idea of what “courage” is supposed to be. But even if you’re not a Navy SEAL or a wand-wielding wizard or an immortal Amazonian princess, you’re still in luck! Courageous leadership doesn’t require you to be any of those. By nature of who you are as an LGBTQ+ person, I’d argue that you already have a whole ton of courage up your sleeve. First and foremost, if you’ve taken the steps to be your true, authentic self then you’ve already exercised that special courage that typically goes against the norm. We can channel that power to help us be a more effective leader in the workplace and beyond. When we think about being courageous in the workplace, even if we’re living our authentic selves, there’s still a lot of factors that can prevent us from being our most courageous and effective leadership selves. Time and again, these are the top three “courage-inhibitors” that tend to come up for leaders, especially LGBTQ+ leaders. 1. The challenge of fear. If you were to ask around, you’d likely find that a lack of courage and abundance of

complacency in the workplace comes down to one simple thing — fear. When we think about this in the business context it can be broken down into two subtypes: fear of (perceived or actual) failure and fear of feeling like an outsider. With the first, we tend to strive for perfectionism. Typically, most folks want to be seen as a rock star performer and anything less is deemed a failure. The latter comes from a more personal place, where challenging the status quo may make you feel like an outsider in your workplace. As LGBTQ+ people, we’ve most likely had that feeling before, or maybe still do. So, in a work context, this desire to avoid the feeling of being the “other” leads us to be compliant, even if we know the idea really needs to be challenged for the good of the organization. Having leadership courage here is to be OK with failing, being OK with being perceived as that outsider for the sake of doing better work, benefiting your team members or moving your organization forward. 2. The challenge of Assumptions (or “filling in The Blanks”). As humans, we often fill in the gaps when we’re presented with a situation where we don’t know all the data. It’s easy for us to connect the dots between one problem and the next, even when the two aren’t related, without taking the time to examine our own approach. It’s how we humans are wired. When we think of this in the context of courage, we’re either avoiding truly understanding the situation or we’re scared to dive deeper into the truth of the situation. Having leadership courage means lifting up those rocks and seeing what’s underneath; lack of courage here is making assumptions about the situation without knowing all the information. 3. The challenge of Being Locked into current Behaviors. Let’s talk about change for a minute. I’ll tell you something you probably already know: Most people

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

don’t like change. On a fundamental level, change is a really fab idea; it’s fresh and new, it expands horizons, it allows us to be innovative and to have new experiences. In the workplace context, we initiate change so that our organization can grow and prosper. But the truth is

engage in change, it leads to an unsettling feeling of vulnerability. On the other hand, most folks’ conscious selves don’t like change because it’s hard. We get used to situations and know how to act and adjust to them, even if the situation isn’t ideal. Some humans

courage to be ourselves, to love who we love, to be our authentic selves in front of the world. It’s a super power that every LGBTQ+ person I know has within them: it’s just a matter of avoiding the three “courage-inhibitors” and channeling that courage just like the not-so-Cowardly Lion

the vast majority of people hate change. Why? On one hand, humans unconsciously don’t like to change because it hits a part of our brain that likes safety and security. Our cave-ancestors were wired to be fearful of changes. Engaging in something new could lead to a dangerous situation. Flash-forward to today, we’re still wired like this in changing situations. When most people

don’t like change so much that they’d sooner stay in a bad situation than make a move to newness. So, whether unconscious or conscious, for most people change is hard! It takes courage to try something new, something different and individual resilience to keep at it when it doesn’t work perfectly the first time. As LGBTQ+ people courage is part of our foundation: the

did. ROAR!

courage is part of our foundation: the courage to be ourselves, to love who we love, to be our authentic selves in front of the world. It’s a super power that every LGbTQ+ person I know has within them.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

Dr. Steve Yacovelli (“The Gay Leadership Dude”) is owner & principal of TopDog Learning Group, LLC. His latest book, “Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of their Jungle” was released June 2019. For more information, visit TopDogLearning.biz.

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November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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Maybe the ugliest thing that [Trump] is doing, which is kind of unprecedented, is to really go out of his way for cheap political gain to try to divide the American people up based on the color of our skin, where we were born, our sexual orientation, our religion, our gender. —U.s. seNATOR AND 2020 HOPefUL BeRNie sANDeRs

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NTONi POROwsKi Of NeTfLiX’s “QUeeR eYe” has been voted the “Sexiest Reality Star” by readers of PEOPLE magazine. The Canadian-born Porowski, who considers himself “a little more fluid along the spectrum,” is the food and wine expert on “Queer Eye.” He took the top slot in the “Sexiest Reality Star” category over the likes of “Air Force” Mike Johnson and Tyler Cameron from “The Bachelorette” and “Vanderpump Rules” star Tom Sandoval. PEOPLE’s readers voted on several “sexiest” categories, with other winners including Prince Harry (Sexiest Dad), Trevor Noah (Sexiest Funny Guy), Stephen Curry (Sexiest Athlete) and Henry Golding (Sexiest Funky Fashion Sense).

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the DegenDerator to maKe bathroom signs more inclusive

UeeR ARTisT AND eNGiNeeR ROBB GODsHAw developed new bathroom signage to help make public restrooms more inclusive. The Degenderator kinetic figure takes the traditional male and female restroom icons and combines them to make one, animated gender-inclusive symbol. A pendulum mechanism perpetually moves the figure between a person in pants to a person in a dress. Godshaw launched The Degenderator on Kickstarter. The campaign is already over its goal of $6,200 with a few weeks still left in the fundraising timeframe. For more information or to support The Degenderator, visit Kickstarter.com, keyword Degenderator.

lil’ nas X becomes first out cma Winner

iL’ NAs X BecAme THe fiRsT OUT GAY PeRfORmeR to win a Country Music Association (CMA) Award. The 20-year old artist received his CMA in the “Musical Event of the Year” category, sharing the prize with collaborator Billy Ray Cyrus for their remix of “Old Town Road.” Their song spent 20 weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100. Lil Nax X expressed his excitement on Twitter. The musician has already made an impact in the industry despite his young age. Last summer, he won “Song of the Year” at the MTV Video Music Awards, becoming the first out gay man to win in the category. Lil’ Nas X came out on Twitter last Pride month.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

Commemorating World AIDS Day

DEC. 7TH 7pm-10pm Sunken Gardens 1825 4th Street N St. Petersburg

Silent Auction Hors d'oeuvres Music & Drag Open Vodka Bar

Open Vodka Bar Sponsored By:

for more information visit

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

J.D. Cerna

homas’ libido was

especially high that Thursday night. The Orlando resident, who prefers not to use his real name, met a man at his Grand Bohemian Hotel room on the dating application Grindr.

They became sexual rather quickly and Thomas, lost in the delirium of his sex drive, says he allowed the man to penetrate him without a condom. Thomas snapped, “Wait. I’m not on PrEP, pull out.” The man obliged and then calmly told Thomas, “I’m undetectable. So I’m untransmittable,” but Thomas mostly recalls his sense of gnawing panic that traversed through his body. ‘Undetectable’? ‘Untransmittable’? All he knew was that he had just taken a risk. “U = U,” or Undetectable equals Untransmittable, has become somewhat of a slogan for some members of the LGBTQ community. Thomas has not received an HIV test after his encounter. “I’m not ready for news that I’ve been infected,” he says. “I’m not insured right now.” If what the Grand Bohemian guest told Thomas is true, then Thomas ought to have nothing to be concerned about. Unless he does. Continued on pg. 24

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: } Worsening of Hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: } dofetilide } rifampin } any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: } Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. } Have any other health problems. } Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY. } Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: } Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. } BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other. Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

Get HIV support by downloading a free app at

MyDailyCharge.com

(bik-TAR-vee)

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: } Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. } Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY. } Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. } Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. } Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. } The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%). These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY. HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food. GET MORE INFORMATION } This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. } Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5. } If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, DAILY CHARGE, the DAILY CHARGE Logo, KEEP LOVING, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version date: December 2018 © 2019 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. BVYC0103 02/19

BVYC0103_BIKTARVY_B_9-25x10-1_Watermark_KeepLoving_DR4_r1v1jl.indd All Pages

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

h, r

ut t

AT’S es.

KEEP LOVING.

Because HIV doesn’t change who you are. BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you. To learn more, visit BIKTARVY.com.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and visit BIKTARVY.com.

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

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2/28/19 10:03 AM

| uu | U=U

from pg.21

Empath Partners in Care, or EPIC, is a nonprofit integrated network of care supporting those challenged by chronic and advanced illness in the Tampa Bay region. Executive Director Joy Winheim describes “U = U” this way: “After much internal debate at the CDC, the report came out that if you are HIV-positive and you are virally suppressed, meaning that the amount is so low it comes out as undetectable, then you are not able to transmit the virus to another. “That’s fantastic,” Winheim continues, “but it does lend to the idea that if I’m HIV-positive I can just have unprotected sex whenever and with whomever I want.” The explanation worries Thomas. “What if he recently became detectable again but just didn’t know it?” he asks. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), “there is effectively no risk of sexual transmission of HIV when the partner living with HIV has achieved an undetectable viral load and then maintained it for at least six months.” NIH’s research adds that most individuals living with HIV who start taking antiretroviral therapy daily as prescribed “achieve an undetectable viral load within one to six months after beginning treatment.” “If you’re on any medication for a really long time,” says Winheim, “the body’s reaction to the meds can change. For example, you take Tylenol for ten years ... after a while Tylenol doesn’t work for you. The same concept can apply to HIV meds. Some can become resistant. Regiments change.” For this and other reasons, Winheim recommends that HIV-positive individuals return to their primary caregiver for regular checkups to determine if they remain undetectable. “There will always be alcohol, drugs and bad decisions,” she says. “In my world, the only way to stay negative is to use PrEP and condoms.” PrEP, or Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, is a daily pill that can reduce exposure to HIV by up to 99%. How many not on PrEP would engage in sex with a “U = U” individual without the use of a condom? St. Petersburg resident Steve Hasley says, “My partner

Walking the walk: Hope & Help’s Development and Communications Director Joshua Myers speaks from the stage of the Walt Disney Amphitheater at Lake Eola Park in Orlando during the 2019 Orlando AIDS Walk. Photo by Jake Stevens of 13 years was positive and we often had versatile intercourse without condoms, but he never came inside me. I know about ‘U = U’ and it wouldn’t stop me. But

individuals in 2018 and they are on course to significantly increase that number this year. The goal of each HIV-positive person is to reach the level of

“It is a 100% preventable disease in this day and age,” says Bailey. “Adherence to medication is crucial.” Winheim agrees.

There will always be alcohol, drugs and bad decisions. In my world, the only way to stay negative is to use PrEP and — EPIC EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR JOY WINHEIM condoms. I’m not certain if it’s fair for me to answer considering I’ve been on PrEP for so long.” Hasley continues, “Oddly, before PrEP existed, I had more HIV-positive guys turn me down because they were concerned about infecting me … they’d only date other HIV-positive guys.” “‘U = U’ is not an excuse for risky behavior,” says Brian Bailey, Chief Marketing and Experience Officer at Metro Inclusive Health. The organization’s many essential health and community services served more than 27,000

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

“One-hundred-percent adherence “U = U,” Bailey explains. “Getting to daily medication,” she to undetectable and therefore says, “is key.” untransmittable means that as Should Thomas have an individual you’re part of the continued having sex with his “U solution in helping to prevent HIV = U” partner without a condom or and ultimately end the epidemic. having utilized PrEP? “Absolutely “If an HIV-positive person stops not,” says Bailey. taking their medication for more Watermark surveyed 50 than five days,” he continues, individuals from Central Florida “then they seriously risk becoming and Tampa Bay’s LGBTQ detectable. Moreover, an communities to see if they HIV-positive person ought to be agreed. They were asked one checking in with their primary caregiver every 90 days, not every straightforward question: If they were in Thomas’ shoes, knowing six months, to make sure that they are indeed still undetectable.” they were HIV-negative but

without a condom and without utilizing PrEP, would they engage in unprotected sex with their “U = U” partner? Of the 50, 18 said yes. The survey encompassed a wide cross-section of gender identities and sexual orientations, including some who identified as straight. “It makes me a little sad,” Winheim reflects on the results. “It’s not enough for me for the HIV-positive person to say, ‘Hey, it’s all good. I’m U = U.’ People are going to say whatever they want to say to get you to have sex with them.” One respondent who participated in the survey and identified as HIV-positive but withheld his name answered this way: “Are you on PrEP? That’s my answer. Are you on PrEP?” He made it clear that he felt there’s “so much one can do” to prevent contracting HIV. Robert, a St. Petersburg resident and a gay man of 71, said in response to the survey, “Absolutely not. I always err on the side of caution. I would, however, show my partner a ‘good time.’” Katherine, a transgender woman from Tampa, responded this way: “Absolutely yes. Untransmittable means untransmittable. I trust the science.” Of the 18 in the survey who, like Katherine, answered “yes” to the question, seven made it clear that trust was a central issue. “It’s not the science that concerns me,” said St. Petersburg’s Pedro Zamora, “it’s the honesty of the person.” “They’re undetectable = untransmittable,” Tampa Bay’s Christopher Davies added. “I have a lower risk having sex with them than someone who doesn’t know their status. I trust the medical knowledge we have. It’s key to ending the stigma of HIV.” Of the aforementioned 18, two also stressed that they would only engage in unprotected sex if they were topping and not bottoming. But Bailey says that “U = U” still doesn’t offer an excuse not to use a condom regardless of sexual position. According to Joshua Myers, Hope & Help’s Development and Communications Director, “U = U” is an informational campaign to promote the power of HIV medication. The Central Florida organization has sought to inspire, equip and mobilize people to take action against HIV/AIDS for more than 30 years. Once undetectable,

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“There is a zero percent chance of communicating HIV to another person through sex,” he says. He has not seen in his work any reports of anyone becoming positive by being sexually active with someone who is undetectable. “There are still a lot of ignorant assumptions,” he says, “and ‘U = U’ helps to normalize the conversation about getting tested.” Myers stresses the importance of normalizing HIV just as any other health concerns, like cancer or heart disease. When asked whether condoms and PrEP should both be used in monogamous relationships where one individual is undetectable and the other is HIV-negative, Myers says that people should use whatever resources they are comfortable with. “Each couple is unique,” he says, “and each couple has to find what works best for them.” Michael Conti-Ferner, a St. Petersburg resident, has been with his HIV-negative husband since April 2019. He is expansive care: (L-R) Metro Inclusive Health Chief Operating & Programs Officer Priya Rajkumar, Chief Executive HIV-positive and is at the “U = Officer Lorraine Langlois and Chief Marketing and Experience Officer Brian Bailey celebrate the organization’s St. Petersburg U” stage. The couple partakes in expansion with Mayor Rick Kriseman and LGBTQ Liaison Jim Nixon on Feb. 9. Photo by dylan todd unprotected sex. decision to engage in activities Currently, Metro is seeing an Winheim has a different “I’m not really concerned,” says that could possibly lead to this alarming rise of HIV infection perspective. She says, “I don’t Conti-Ferner. “I take my pill every outcome.’” Pace says that with the in African American women think so. I think the stigmas are day like I’m supposed to.” He also help of therapy he has come to over the age of 50. This could be so deep and so ingrained and asserts that he and his husband understand that he does not need in part due to men in minority the slogan ‘U = U’ is not going have both been educated on the to have a sense of “punishment” communities desiring to be on to just take that away.” However, subject. “It’s not like we stress around what happened. the “down low” or not identifying she adds that the slogan is about it or anything.” Pace says, “I remember when as gay or being out. Burying a “good news.” Winheim, however, says that I came out to my father and he part of who they really may be “I think people feel a sense of even in the case of couples where said, ‘Do NOT get AIDS.’” That why these men are transmitting normalcy,” she says, “but normal one is HIV-positive and the other message from his parent played HIV to their wives and female sex for an HIV-positive person is is negative, condoms and PrEP over and over in his head after partners. In these communities, not normal for the rest of us. should be implemented. his diagnosis. the need to get beyond the stigma Emotionally, I don’t know if it’s “U = U” may mean lower risk, “I felt like I had let my Dad is crucial, says Bailey. enough to take away the stigma but it does not prevent other down, even after his death,” he “It all starts with education,” of having it.” sexual diseases. “Syphilis and explains. “But through therapy – Hope & Help’s Myers adds, “and In terms of stigma, Bailey gonorrhea are rising in some and community – I have learned when you have a disease with finds that there’s way more communities,” says Bailey. “Even to accept it; this is my truth.” historical reputation that has of it happening in minority with PrEP, it doesn’t protect you Pace is undetectable and has been stigmatized, people make communities. “There’s so much from everything else.” been since his first extensive assumptions and then they stigma, even just your friends Additionally, according to drug trial following his diagnosis. communicate those assumptions potentially seeing you walk into Winheim, “our rates are not “I jumped into treatment right to friends and family and things an HIV clinic,” he explains. showing what ought to be a away,” he says. Now he gets get out of hand.” He says that as Although Metro has been decline in HIV transmission.” checked up every three months. a result, those who live with HIV approved to test for HIV in She also points out that the He is undetectable each time. face discrimination that can be outlying minority communities, instructions provided with PrEP In his online profile for very “in your face.” Bailey says that it is incredibly do in fact state that it should be another major dating app, Pace “We encourage everyone to difficult to get people to come used with a condom. “To keep the discloses his HIV status. “I don’t start with an education on HIV,” in to get the tests. Thus the rates down, we actually have to want to hide it from anybody,” says Myers. conundrum: how does one do it, both PrEP and condoms.” he says. “I think it’s honest, Seven years ago Orlando become undetectable if one Does turning “Untransmittable respectful and the human decent native and former drag performer doesn’t even know their status in = Untransmittable” into a slogan thing to do.” “Chrysanthemum,” whose real the first place? help to lessen the negative With regards to other name is Glenn Pace, discovered Bailey and his associates at emotions and feelings around HIV-positive individuals and he was HIV-positive. Metro Inclusive Health are doing being HIV-positive? Says Bailey: whether they ought to follow “I got it late in life,” Pace says. the best they can do. “We have “Getting to ‘U = U’ is definitely in line with Pace’s decision to “I’m 47 now, I got it when I was made it to health ministries in empowering for the individual disclose online, Pace says, “If 40. At first I was really hard some of the Southside churches because it means you’re as they are sexually active, then on myself, for about the first and we are trying to make them healthy as you can possibly be.” they should disclose their status realize how this is impacting their six months. I thought, ‘I’m an before engaging in sex but it’s still educated man, this was a foolish communities.”

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

everyone’s individual decision whether they want to announce it on the apps or not. I know a lot of people believe differently.” Pace also feels, as Myers does, that condom and PrEP use with someone who is “U = U” is a decision to be made between the people about to engage in sex with one another. “Everyone needs to decide for themselves,” says Pace, “but for me discussing it with the partners I’m having sex with is key. It’s all about communicating with the partner that you’re with.” Pace adds that he has received offers online from younger men who wish to be infected by him. “They look at it like this is something they are going to get anyway,” Pace says, “so they may as well get it over and done with now.” He always does his best to explain to these younger men that infection is not the answer. “I write each of them a long diatribe,” he says. “I say to them, ‘do you realize what you’re asking for? At your age, do you know what you are putting your body through?! This is not something you want to ask for.’” Pace allows for the fact that these younger men have no idea what it was like when AIDS was ravaging the bodies of his friends and acquaintances, sentencing them to death. “It’s like my mother who lived through World War Two,” he says. “I can’t imagine what it was like to live through that, it’s like the young men today can’t imagine what it was like to live through the AIDS epidemic.” Thomas, meanwhile, remains concerned about his actions that Thursday night. “I just wish he would have told me he was ‘U = U’ beforehand,” he says. “But at the same time, I know it’s my job to have asked him first, ‘Hey, what’s your HIV status?’ … I was so caught up in the moment. What I want to do now is trust that he was telling the truth and that ‘U = U’ is real.” When it comes to any person’s assumption that he or she may be “U = U,” Bailey says, “Don’t assume anything. The only person who can tell you if you’re undetectable is your doctor.” Know your status. For more information about EPIC, visit MyEpic.org; about Metro Inclusive Health, MetroTampaBay.org and about Hope & Help, HopeAndHelp.org.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

Lora Korpar

AXOPHONisT DAve KOz is

coming to Florida to spread the Christmas spirit this holiday season with his 22nd annual Dave Koz and Friends Christmas Tour.

The multiple Grammy-nominated, openly gay jazz artist has been in the music business for nearly 30 years, keeping busy not just with his music, but with radio shows, cruises, wine and more. Koz was first inspired to pick up the saxophone when he was 13 years old out of a desperate wish to join his brother’s band. “After driving my brother crazy for two years, he let me be in the band and that was my job for many many years, but I never thought that it would be my living,” Koz says. Koz described himself as a “practical kid,” saying he went to college and planned on getting a “regular Continued on pg. 29

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

 

| uu | Dave Koz is Coming

to Town

from pg.27

job,” but that the universe had a different plan for him. “When I graduated, there were a couple of people who showed up that saw something in me that I didn’t know was there. So, they nurtured that and next thing I knew I got signed to Capitol Records and I was making my first album. I was very surprised,” Koz says. “I still am, actually.” He released his first album, “Dave Koz,” in 1990 and has been making music ever since. Koz said that his newest album, “Gifts of the Season,” which came out on Oct. 11, harkens back to the beginning of his musical career, having a contemporary jazz sound with pop, R&B and funk elements. “I have veered in many different directions over the years as an artist, but with this album, it Dave’s World: Koz’s newest holiday album, “Gifts of the Season,” was released in October. Photo courtesy Judi Kerr PR was a return to those roots,” he says. “It was fun to just make legendary performers Regina Manchester has landed to come up with new things that a high-energy, very fun album, Belle and Al Jarreau, the latter on the Billboard charts with I probably wouldn’t have thought featuring many wonderful of which he dedicated his most Top 10 hits like “Midnight of on my own.” guests — all of the people on this recent album to. “We’re In This Blue,” the Grammy-nominated Joining Koz on this tour tour as well.” Love Together - A Tribute to Al “Don’t Cry Out Loud” and the will be Jonathan Butler. Butler, The first Dave Koz and Grammy-winning “You Should the youngest of 13 children, Jarreau “ was Walker’s way of Friends Christmas Tour was Hear How She Talks About You.” grew up in Cape Town, South honoring Jarreau, who passed conceptualized in 1997, when Her songs have been heard in Africa during Apartheid. The away in 2017, and features an Koz interviewed pianist David Benoit for his radio show. On the episode, they discussed how both Benoit’s mother and Koz’s father had passed away within a few weeks of each other, so neither of them were looking forward to the holiday season. Benoit suggested that they go on a holiday tour and remember their parents by playing music. Koz jumped at the opportunity. — Dave Koz “That first year we had a small number of shows and they were motion pictures — nabbing Grammy-nominated performer array of artists including Koz. not very well attended,” Koz says. two Oscar nominations — and started his singing career at age Michael Lington rounds out “But it was really heartfelt shows, recorded by such artists seven, released his first album the group. Lington is a jazz and obviously for the subject matter. as Barbra Streisand, Dusty by age 12 and became the first soul recording artist who has And people loved it and they Springfield, Alison Krauss and black artist played by white radio worked with the likes of Manilow, wanted us back and it grew the Roberta Flack. stations in the racially segregated Michael Bolton, Aaron Neville, next year, and grew the next year, Also along for the ride is South Africa. Little Richard, Taylor Dayne and and here we are 22 years later singer and guitarist Chris Walker. Along with the holiday more. The Danish-American still going strong.” Walker knows his way around tour and appearing on Koz’s saxophonist and singer even This year, the show will a bass guitar, he’s even able to Christmas album, Butler released performed at the royal wedding feature several special guests play it upside down just like his his latest album last month, of a future Danish king. touring and performing with guitar hero, Jimi Hendrix. Walker a holiday-themed LP titled With 10 albums under his Koz — all of whom also appear got his start in his hometown of “Christmas Together.” belt, Lington decided to also on Koz’s latest holiday album. Houston, Texas as a member of Melissa Manchester will also get into the holiday spirit this They will be visiting cities across his family’s gospel group, The join Koz on the road. A New year and released his first-ever Florida; including Sarasota, West Walker Brothers. York native, Manchester studied Christmas album, “A Foreign Palm Beach, Naples, Melbourne, Walker is best known for his songwriting with Paul Simon, was Affair Christmas,” which features Clearwater and Jacksonville. hit singles “Take Time,” “Giving discovered by Barry Manilow and an appearance from Koz himself. “In my heart, I’m a collaborator,” was one of the original Harlettes You All My Love” and “How Do “So big picture, I would say that Koz says. “I love working with You Heal a Broken Heart.” He — Bette Midler’s popular back-up collaborating with other artists other people. They inspire me to served as musical director for singing trio. push myself a little bit more and

In my heart, I’m a collaborator, I love working with other people. They inspire me to push myself a little bit more and to come up with new things that I probably wouldn’t have thought of on my own.

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

has been the best aspect of my career,” Koz says. An aspect of Koz’s career that had him worried was when he decided to come out publicly as a gay man in 2004. Koz says while he worried about coming out for a long time, he finally felt comfortable sharing his identity with his fans. “I feared it so long and I created this mountain that I thought I would never be able to get over. The most beautiful thing was going through the experience and getting on the other side of the mountain and looking back and realizing there was no mountain there at all. I had just created this big, huge thing that was nonexistent. [Getting over the fear of coming out was] the best thing I ever did.” Koz also says that everyone embracing and accepting each other is a big theme he wants people to take away from his tour, as Christmas music brings people together in what he describes as “a hard few years.” “While I never really like to talk politics because I don’t think there’s a win there, I think you’d have to be living under a rock to not see all the tension in the air in our country right now,” Koz says. “So Christmas and the holidays — when they come around on the calendar, it’s like a chance for us to all take a step back, take a big breath and be reminded that we’re all human beings and we could all be a little bit more humane to each other. It’s a chance to hit the reset button and I think music can inspire people to do that better than words.” Dave Koz and Friends Christmas Tour 2019 will be at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Center in Sarasota Nov. 29, the Raymond F. Kravis Center in West Palm Beach Nov. 30, the Hayes Hall Artis in Naples Dec. 1, the King Center in Melbourne Dec. 2, Ruth Eckerd Hall Dec. 3 and the Florida Theatre in Jacksonville Dec. 5. Tickets, VIP upgrade options and more concert information is available at DaveKoz.com.

Dave Koz’s latest album “Gifts of the Season” is available now on most major music streaming services.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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Memoir

Shadowland

Moving memoir revisits 1980s New York, AIDS epidemic

(above)

not so average JOE: Author Joseph Caldwell’s “In the Shadow of the Bridge” details his life of love and loss against the backdrop of the 1980s AIDS epidemic in New York City. Photo courtesy Meryl moss media

Ryan Williams-Jent

ew York was a different place in

1950, which is exactly why Joseph Caldwell loved it. The Milwaukee native, fresh from the Air Force and then 21, was finally ready to live openly as the young gay man he was. The city gave him that opportunity.

He found the home any New York-bound aspiring writer would want. It was an apartment “In the Shadow of the Bridge,” now the title of his memoir – which he saw published at age 91 this year. Number Eight Hague St., long since demolished to connect the East Side Highway to the Brooklyn Bridge, was nestled so closely beside it that Caldwell could reach its gray stones from his bathroom window. It lacked central heating, but had a number of in-demand commodities: hot water, a stove and a cast-iron-enclosed fireplace, all for a whopping $24 a month. “The rent is one thing that gives a measure to how the city has changed,” Caldwell says. “When I moved, New

York was inexpensive. Every fall a wave of creative people came – painters, writers, composers – but they can’t afford it anymore. By the 70s something happened, all of a sudden rents began to go up.” Caldwell says it changed New York’s character but he still calls the city home. “I can’t bad mouth it too much,” he muses. “I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. It just seemed more vivid to me than it is now, but that could also be because I was young; a factor that has to be acknowledged.” As vivid and as different from Wisconsin as New York was, there were limits to living openly. “You had to be very, very careful if people knew you were gay,” Caldwell explains. He likens his friendships to secret societies and

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

notes that his sexual encounters were mostly meetings of chance. One such encounter came nine years after his move – by way of the Brooklyn Bridge, no less – when he met Gale. “I could see coming toward me from the bridge’s Manhattan side a young man wearing chinos and a white shirt with long sleeves, and an unbuttoned collar,” he details the encounter. “I kept walking toward him. He kept walking toward me. A second or two before we passed each other, he abruptly shifted his gaze in my direction, connecting with my own reflexive glance.” Theirs is a story of love and loss central to Caldwell’s memoir, officially described as “a celebration of the halcyon years of the 50s and 60s that led up to the AIDS epidemic, which changed the emotional landscape of the city forever.” The memoir is broken into a distinctive beginning, middle and end, relating the duo’s decades-long love story through Caldwell’s intertwining triumphs and tragedies. After falling in love, “the bliss of their brief affair quickly fizzles and he is left in longing,” the synopsis reads. “Little does Caldwell know that, years later, after he sees success as a writer, he will meet up with Gale again – this time under the shadow of the AIDS epidemic that has inspired Caldwell to become a caretaker for the dying,” it concludes. “In a twist of fate, the quixotic love that plagued Caldwell his entire life gives him one last chance at a relationship but in a completely unexpected and tragic way.” By 1981, Caldwell was well on his way to becoming an acclaimed playwright and novelist. He had published his first novel, written for soap operas including “Dark Shadows” and was awarded The Rome Prize for Literature by the American Academy of Arts and Letters. He’d also tragically learned that “a gay cancer was going around, and that it was expected that five percent of those who had it would die.” The New York Times – which first reported the “rare cancer” that same year – later found that the AIDS epidemic would kill more than 100,000 New

Yorkers during the 80s and 90s, nearly a quarter of AIDS-related deaths nationwide at that time. A culture of open love and sex was replaced by unrelenting fear. “One of the really horrific parts was how people were abandoned by their families and by their friends,” Caldwell says. “It outed many people at the time and people were scorned.” They were “dismissed, thrown out and told that we were not a part of the human family,” he continues. “That was very apparent during the epidemic. People shouldn’t forget what we went through.” Caldwell, a devout Catholic who describes himself as “gay as a goose by God’s good grace,” turned to the church to help those most impacted. “I went to St. Vincent’s and became a volunteer in their program,” he says. “It meant a great deal to me. “I didn’t want to sit around wringing my hands, weeping or even praying,” he says. “I wanted to do something and I was given the chance to do it.” The church, demolished in 2013, served New Yorkers for more than 150 years. It treated incoming survivors of the Titanic and was later the primary hospital for those injured on Sept. 11. In the 80s, it became the first AIDS Ward on the East Coast. In 1986, one third of St. Vincent’s 350 hospital beds were filled with patients living with AIDS. Caldwell and other volunteers utilized a “no demands, no expectations” mantra to help them. “You just did what they needed. Whatever their need was that was within your competence,” he explains. It resulted in relationships with those in his care that he still cherishes today. “I will never forget them,” he says. “My gratitude for being given the chance to help will never diminish.” Caldwell’s early days at St. Vincent’s would prepare him to revisit another relationship. He reconnected with Gale after 15 years apart, learning he had also contracted AIDS. He would live with him until his dying breath. “It was a terrible thing,” Caldwell reflects on the epidemic. “Nobody got off easy. Nobody.” Caldwell shares his account with readers now in hopes that they see humanity. “We’re always learning about what it means to be human,” he says, and “In the Shadow of the Bridge” is a fine example of exactly that. “In The Shadow of the Bridge,” a memoir by Joseph Caldwell published by Delphinium Books, is available now wherever books are sold.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

community calendar

event planner artS+entertainment

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GenderQueer community Group

RuPaul U.K. Viewing Party, Nov. 28, Stonewall Bar, Orlando. 407-373-0888; StonewallOrlando.com “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” Nov. 29 & 30, Alexis & Jim Pugh Theater, Orlando. 844-513-2014; DrPhillipsCenter.org Milk Mart - Lazy Saturgays Small Biz Market, Nov. 30, Milk Mart, Orlando. 407-401-3003; MilkMartOrlando.com SEC Rivalry Week HIIT Edition, Nov. 30, Rock Hard Fitness, Orlando. 407-802-4631; RockHardFitnessOrlando.com LGBT+ Holiday Pop Up Shop, Nov. 30, The LGBT+ Center, Orlando. 407-228-8272; TheCenterOrlando.org Ginger Minj’s Super Spectacular Low Budget Christmas Extravaganza, Dec. 1, Parliament House, Orlando. 407-425-7571; ParliamentHouse.com Glow Yoga!, Dec. 3, Stonewall Bar, Orlando. 407-373-0888; StonewallOrlando.com “The Play That Goes Wrong,” Dec. 3-8, Walt Disney Theater, Orlando. 844-513-2014; DrPhillipsCenter.org Rainbow Comedy, Dec. 5, Grumpy’s Underground Eatery and Lounge, Orlando. 407-678-1122; Facebook.com/ GrumpysUnderground Nick Offerman - “All Rise” Tour, Dec. 5, Hard Rock Live, Orlando. 407-351-7625; HardRock.com GAYME DAY, Dec. 6, The LGBT+ Center, Orlando. 407-228-8272; TheCenterOrlando.org Patty Sheehan’s Christmas in the Park, Dec. 7, Lake Eola Park, Orlando. 407-246-4484; Orlando.gov Light Up the Courtyard, Dec. 7, Parliament House, Orlando. 407-425-7571; ParliamentHouse.com

mONDAY, Dec. 2, 7-8 P.m. LGBT+ ceNTeR, ORLANDO GenderQueer is a gathering which provides genderqueer individuals and allies a safe space for open dialogue, connection and information on the topic of nonbinary gender and identity. Facilitated by Tisse Mallon, a genderqueer human committed to connection and belonging, this meeting will focus on end of the year reflections. GenderQueer Community Group meets on the first Monday of every month at the LGBT+ Center in Orlando. For more information, visit TheCenterOrlando.org.

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12th Annual broadway christmas THURsDAY, Dec. 12, 8:30-11 P.m. sOUTHeRN NiGHTs, ORLANDO

TV star and LGBTQ ally Nick Offerman brings his “All Rise” tour to the Hard Rock Live in Orlando Dec. 5 and the Straz Center in Tampa Dec. 7. Photo by michael GomeZ

The Orlando Oddities and Curiosities Market, Dec. 7, Hourglass Brewing, Orlando. 407-262-0056; HourglassBrewing.com John Mulaney and Pete Davidson, Dec. 8, Bob Carr Theater, Orlando. 844-513-2014; DrPhillipsCenter.org LGBTQ Bowling Night, Dec. 11, Orange Bowl, Kissimmee. 407-228-8272; TheCenterOrlando.org

tampa bay Retail Recovery, Nov. 29, Honey Pot, Tampa. 813-247-4663; Facebook.com/Honey-Pot Tampa Bay Bears & Friends Eat Out and Music Bingo, Nov. 30, Pom Pom’s teahouse and Sandwicheria, St. Petersburg. 727-873-6992; PomPomsStPete.com Drag Brunch, Nov. 30 & Dec. 7, Iberian Rooster, St. Petersburg. 727-258-8753; IberianRooster.com

Thanksgiving Potluck, Dec. 1, Quench Lounge, Largo. 727-754-5900; QuenchLounge.com The Garage is Going Smoke Free Drag Show, Dec. 1, The Garage on Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-235-9086; ShorelineDJs.com/GarageBar Bingo4Charity benefiting Firmly Established, Dec. 3, Punky’s Bar and grill, St. Petersburg. 727-201-4712; PunkysBar.com

Red & Green 2019, Dec. 7, Sunken Gardens, St. Petersburg. 727-342-0084; StPetePride.com Rock Gala, Dec. 7, Jobsite Theater, Tampa. 813-2229-7827; JobsiteTheater.org Pictures with Santa Paws, Dec. 8, The Dog Bar, St. Petersburg. 727-317-4968; DogBarStPete.com Sharing is Caring 2019, Dec. 8, Metro Inclusive Health, St. Petersburg. 727-321-3854; MetroTampaBay.org

Tampa Pride Monthly Community Update, Dec. 3, Tampa Pride, Tampa. TampaPride.org

Pride Skate, Dec. 9, United Skates of America, Tampa. 813-876-5826; UnitedSkates.com

Tampa Equality Connection, Dec. 5, District Tavern, Tampa. 813-870-3735; EQFL.org

sarasota

Drag Queen Story Hour, Dec. 7, Community Cafe, St. Petersburg. 727-222-6979; Facebook.com/ DragQueenStoryHourTampaBay Nick Offerman - “All Rise” Tour, Dec.7, Straz center for the Performing Arts, Tampa. 813-229-7827; StrazCenter.org

G2H2 Sarasota’s Holiday Party & Toy Drive, Dec. 5, Sage SRQ, Sarasota. 941-445-5660; G2H2Sarasota.com Tis the Season - Diversity’s 2019 Holiday Concert, Dec. 8, Beatrice Friedman Symphony Center, Sarasota. 941-953-4252; Facebook.com/BeatriceFriedman SymphonyCenterSarasota

Southern Nights Orlando hosts the 12th annual Broadway Christmas cabaret, presented by Kai’ja Adonis and Jose Marrero, to benefit The Trevor Project. Over 50 Central Florida entertainers and artists will help bring the community together for this annual benefit featuring music, comedic performance and a live raffle. A donation of $10 is suggested at the door. For more information, visit Southern Nights Orlando’s Facebook page.

tamPa Bay Fundraiser for Kevin sUNDAY, Dec. 1, 3:30-4:30 P.m. THe sTeiN & viNe, BRANDON Mark Nash and Pete Dudley invite you to attend a campaign fundraiser for former Hillsborough County Commissioner Kevin Beckner as he runs to become the next Hillsborough County Clerk of the Circuit Court. Suggested donation levels for the event are: Grassroots- $20, Supporter- $250 and Friend- $100 to $1,000. You can contribute now by going to KevinBeckner.com. For more information, email Nick Janovsky at Nick@KevinBeckner.com.

Party for Presents sUNDAY, Dec. 8, 1-5 P.m. HOLLANDeR HOTeL, sT. PeTeRsBURG Join Balance Tampa Bay at the Hollander Hotel for the ninth annual Party for Presents. Come celebrate the holidays while donating presents to underprivileged kids. The event will feature great food, entertainment and a DJ. Donated toys must be new and unwrapped. Please no violent toys such as toy guns and knives. Please provide batteries with donation if the toy requires them. For a list of the most needed items, visit Balance Tampa Bay’s Facebook page.

To submit your upcoming event, concert, performance, or fundraiser visit watermarkonline.com.

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

overheard

tampa bay out+about

say their names

T. PeTeRsBURG LGBTQ cOmmUNiTY ADvOcATes AND ALLies gathered Nov. 20 on Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) at Metro’s LGBTQ Welcome Center to honor the known transgender lives lost in 2019. According to the Human Rights Campaign, at least 22 transgender and gender non-confirming people were killed this year. Attendees met at the Welcome Center for a candlelight vigil, once again organized by 6S Boutique owner Andrew Citino and gender therapist Tristan Byrnes. The gathering welcomed St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman, who proclaimed Nov. 20 as TDOR in the city, and featured readings and song. St. Petersburg LGBTQ Liaison Jim Nixon and Police Dept. LGBTQ Liaison Lt. Markus Hughes also read the names of the 22 lives lost. “Hate crimes are spiking and 22 transgender or gender non-conforming individuals have been targeted and killed in America so far this year,” Mayor Kriseman shared ahead of the gathering. “Today and everyday, we remember them, and we continue the fight in honor of them.” “Tonight, we remembered,” he noted afterwards.

profile in courage

AmPA mAYOR JANe cAsTOR wAs HONOReD wiTH THe cOURAGe iN GOveRNmeNT AwARD Nov. 22 at the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC) National Dinner Awards in Washington D.C. The NGLCC directly links LGBTQ business owners, corporate leaders and government. The annual dinner celebrates leading business owners, corporate partners, diversity advocates and more. In Aug. of this year, the Tampa Bay Diversity Chamber of Commerce (TBDCC) welcomed the NGLCC to Tampa for the 2019 International Business & Leadership Conference. The conference is the largest gathering of LGBTQ business leaders and allies in the world. “I’m incredibly humbled and honored to receive this award,” Castor said in a statement.

meDicine Woman

iNGeR, sONGwRiTeR AND AcTivisT meLissA eTHeRiDGe HAs ANNOUNceD “The Medicine Show Tour,” which hits the road March 2020 and concludes at the newly-reimagined Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater on May 1, 2020. Etheridge will perform a variety of fan favorites as well as songs from “The Medicine Show,” her 15th studio recording released earlier this year. “The album deals with universal themes of renewal, reconciliation, reckoning, compassion and most profoundly, healing,” Ruth Eckerd Hall shared. “Through the songs she processed the deep fears and hurting she saw in the nation on collective and personal levels; ‘Shaking’ about national anxiety, ‘Here Comes the Pain,’ personalizing the opioid crisis, the unifying ‘Human Chain’ about the hope for healing and the rocking, anthemic ‘Love Will Live.’” Tickets are on sale now at RuthEckerdHall.com.

2 3

mARY mAN: Victor Nawrocki gears up for a jolly holiday with Julie Andrews at Ruth Eckerd Hall’s grand reopening Nov. 13.

PHoto BY rYan WiLLiams-Jent

HeAvY HeARTeD: Transgender Day of Remembrance organizer Andrew Citino accepts St. Petersburg’s proclamation at the Sunshine Center Nov. 14. PHoto BY rYan WiLLiams-Jent

sARAsOTA PROUD: Ken Shelin (L) and Mark Steinwachs enjoy Equality Florida’s Suncoast Celebration sponsor reception at Northern Trust Nov. 14. Photo by russ martin

sHOwGALs: (L-R) Victoria Michaels, Dixie Lynn Michaels, Anna Fillaxus and Monique Love wow the crowd during Victoria Works Central at Punky’s Nov. 23.

PHoto BY rYan WiLLiams-Jent

NeveR fORGOTTeN: Organizer Tristan Byrnes (L) and Mayor Rick Kriseman mark Transgender Day of Remembrance 2019 at the Metro LGBTQ Welcome Center Nov. 20.

PHoto BY rYan WiLLiams-Jent

smART RiDeRs: Tampa Bay’s Wheeling Warriors finish big at SMART Ride 16. Photo courtesy Jim niXon

DYNAmic DUO: John Adamowski (L) and birthday boy Justin Geleta celebrate at Dr. BBQ Nov. 16.

PHoto BY rYan WiLLiams-Jent

eQUALiTY eveNiNG: (L-R) Lori England, Mica England, Shannon Fortner and Grace Korley attend the 2019 Equality Florida Suncoast Celebration at Art Ovation Hotel Nov. 16. Photo by dylan todd

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7 NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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a perfect city beautiful

OR THe siXTH YeAR iN A ROw, Orlando was among the list of U.S. cities to earn a perfect score of 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s annual Municipal Equality Index (MEI). The MEI looked at 506 cities this year and scored them based on non-discrimination laws, the municipality as an employer, municipal services, law enforcement and the city leadership’s public position on equality. “We should all be proud that City of Orlando has once again obtained a perfect score,” Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer posted on Facebook. “Our community is welcoming and inclusive and as a city we remain committed to continuing to promote diversity and equality in everything that we do.” A record 88 cities across the U.S. earned the highest possible score – up from 78 in 2018 and only 11 in 2012, the MEI’s first year.

tDor observeD on campus

He UNiveRsiTY Of ceNTRAL fLORiDA (Ucf) AND vALeNciA cOLLeGe both observed Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) on Nov. 20 with events to honor victims of anti-transgender violence. Valencia’s East Campus held an event with speakers, booths representing local LGBTQ organizations, performances and a candlelight vigil in which the names of the 311 transgender people killed around the world since last year’s TDOR were read aloud. UCF’s LGBTQ+ Services, the Multicultural Student Center and Pride Student Association’s event was on the UCF main campus and featured blue, white and pink flowers and candles placed on UCF’s famous Pegasus seal in the Student Union and several guest speakers. Then the names of the 22 trans people murdered in the U.S. this year were read aloud and a rose was placed in a vase for each name called. Visit WatermarkOnline to see photos from each of the events.

elton John is coming bacK

fTeR AN icONic PeRfORmANce at the Amway Center in March, Sir Elton John is coming back to Orlando with another concert in May 2020. The 72-year-old legend announced on Nov. 13 an additional 24 dates to his sold-out “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” tour. These new dates will close out the second year of the North American leg of John’s three-year world tour, which he says will be his final tour ever. “I’m not Cher,” John joked in an interview with Anderson Cooper in 2018 as he announced the tour. “This is the end.” John will perform at the Amway Center in Orlando May 28, 2020. Tickets, while they last, start at $66.50 and are available at AmwayCenter.com.

PANeL DiscUssiON: State Reps. Carlos Guillermo Smith, Anna V. Eskamani and Equality Florida’s Brandon Wolf joined gun safety advocates and UCF student activists for a Gun Violence Prevention Panel at UCF Nov. 18. Photo by carlos Guillermo smith

HAPPY HOLiDAYs: (L-R) Beth Masi Hobart, Patty Sheehan and Sean Frank show off their holiday cheer at Hobart’s Client & Vendor Appreciation Party at Maxine’s On Shine in Orlando Nov. 18. Photo

siLKY smOOTH: “RuPaul’s Drag Race” alum Silky Ganache gets ready to greet fans at the Parliament House in Orlando Nov. 16. Photo courtesy bears in the city

fRiDAY fUN: Erica Roberts (L) and Chantel Reshae are all about Fridays at SAVOY in Orlando Nov. 15. Photo

courtesy beth masi hobart

cOmmUNiTY cAmPUs: Zebra Coalition’s Robin Daly (L) and The Center’s Roxy Santiago grab a selfie during the Orlando TDOR event at Valencia College’s East Campus in Orlando Nov. 20.

Photo by roXy santiaGo

LUNcH meeTiNG: Hope & Help Executive Director Lisa Barr (L) and Vivian Rodriguez attend Hope & Help’s TDOR luncheon at the organization’s Winter Park office Nov. 20. Photo

TeAm PeTe: Osiel Garrett (L) hangs out with Chasten Buttigieg, husband of presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg, during an event at The Abbey in Orlando Nov. 16. Photo by osiel Garrett

sTARs & sTRiPes: U.S. Rep. Darren Soto (L) and Florida Democratic Party Chair Terrie Rizzo celebrate at the OCDEC’s 2019 Masquerade Ball at The Mezz in Orlando Nov. 16. Photo courtesy terrie riZZo

courtesy vivian rodriGueZ

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courtesy erica roberts

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

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financial planner

health + fitness

DICTOR FINANCIAL, LLC Wayne S. Dictor, CEP President, CEO

Member Board of Directors - Orlando Gay Chorus

Office: 407-942-3366

Mobile: 941-320-4794 Wayne@DictorFinancial.com 801 International Parkway, Suite 500 Lake Mary, Florida 32746 Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPIC

funeral services

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Come see Dave, Ed & Staff for a Free Consultation! home inspections

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Full Service Interior Plantscaping Design & Maintenance Sales - Leasing - Maintenance

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

C e n t r a l

F l o r i d a

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meDical

laWn care

personal training www.rockhardfitnessorlando.com

FREE TRIAL PASS 1 WEEK UNLIMITED CLASSES 1 HOUR PERSONAL TRAINING 820 Lake Baldwin Lane p. 407.802.4631

photography

lgbt meDical

optometrist

Fine Art | Portrait | Wedding | Commercial www.DylanToddPhotography.com info@DylanToddPhotography.com (727) 310-1212

security systems Dont be a VICTIM, Protect What Matters Most!

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read It Online! Head to Watermarkonline.com and click on the Digital Publications link to a read a digital version of the printed newspaper!

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NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

C e n t r a l

F l o r i d a

M a r k e t p l a c e

Veterinarian

Proudly Caring for the Pets and People of the LGBTQ Community since 1955 Open 7 Days a Week!

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Changing the lives of LGBTQ teens and young adults for over 25 years Social support groups Make friends Scholarships for college Weekly groups in Orange, Seminole & Polk counties

For more than 25 years Watermark has been the premiere source of LGBTQ news across Central Florida and Tampa Bay and we are expanding our team. For more than 25 years Watermark has been the premiere source Now you can be a part of the team that brings LGBTQ across Central Florida andpremiere Tampa source Bay Forofmore thannews 25 Watermark has been the theyears news to the LGBTQ community. weacross are expanding our and team. of LGBTQand news Central Florida Tampa Bay and we are expanding our team. Now you a part of and the team that brings Are can you be motivated outgoing? Now you can be a part of the team that brings the news to the LGBTQ community. Are you welltoorganized starter with the anews the LGBTQself community.

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• Join • Volunteer • Donate

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great time management skills?

Are motivated and outgoing? Areyou you Can you work well motivated by yourselfand as outgoing? well as with others? AreAre you selfstarter starterwith with youa awell wellorganized organized self Full time entry level position, great skills? greattime timemanagement management skills? health insurance benefits & 401K options. workwell wellby byyourself yourself as others? CanCan youyou work aswell wellasaswith with others? Fulltime timeentry entry level position, levelfor position, Watermark Publishing Group health is theFull premier media outlet the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender insurance benefits & 401K health insurance benefits & 401Koptions. options. community in Central and West Florida. Up to 20,000 copies of our biweekly newspaper are distributed every other Thursday throughout Central Florida, Tampa Bay and surrounding communities. Watermark also produces a collection of high-gloss specialty publications, and a web site with a Watermark Publishing Group is the premier mediaonline outlet community. for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rapidly growing Watermarkcommunity PublishinginGroup theWest premier media the gay, andaretransgender Centralisand Florida. Up tooutlet 20,000for copies of ourlesbian, biweeklybisexual newspaper other Thursday Central Florida, copies Tampa Bay and surrounding communities. distributed every community in Central and Westthroughout Florida. Up to 20,000 of our biweekly newspaper are Incoming mailbox size limit is 10MB per email. Emails larger than 10MB will not be received. Please optimize attachments accordingly. a collection of high-gloss specialty publications, a web site communities. with a Watermark also produces Thursday throughout Central Florida, Tampa Bay andand surrounding distributed every other rapidlyofgrowing onlinespecialty community. high-gloss publications, and a web site with a Watermark also produces a collection

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watermark Your LGBTQ life.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

THE BARBER FUND HELPING THOSE LIVING WITH CANCER

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watermark Your LGBTQ life.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

In Memory of John “Tweeka” Barber 1972 - 2011

announcements

WeDDing bells

rob and Tony Domenico, from Winter Park, Florida

congratULationS

engagement Date:

Watermark owner/publisher/editor rick Claggett and Watermark photographer/creative dylan todd were engaged on Nov. 16. Central Florida’s southern Craft celebrated its second anniversary Nov. 16. City side Lounge celebrated its 29th anniversary Nov. 23.

Feb. 18, 2018

weDDing Date:

nov. 9, 2019

LocaL BirthDayS

oFFiciant:

tony’s Sister Casie Carr

venUe:

St. petersburg lion’s Club Beach House; Ceremony on the beach and reception indoors

coLorS:

Tiﬀany Blue & Guava

weDDing Song/ artiSt: “always remember Us this Way” by lady Gaga

FLoriSt:

lee Forrest

caterer:

execuChef Catering

BaKery:

Sweet by Holly

PhotograPher/ viDeograPher: kristopher reynolds photography

DJ/ entertainment:

dj twisted dee (dee Martello)

conDoLenceS

Ybor City staple scott downen passed away Nov. 14. Tampa philanthropist david straz passed away Nov. 18.

Photo by kristoPher reynolds PhotoGraPhy

OB DOmeNicO sAYs He HAs

the “Facebook algorithm gods” to thank for introducing him to his husband Tony Domenico. While looking through the “People You May Know” section of the site, Rob came across Tony’s profile. “One look at his kind eyes and infectious smile, I knew I had to do everything in my power to win the attention and affection of Tony,” Rob says. Unfortunately, Rob had 5,000 friends, so he couldn’t add any more. He quickly decided to drop someone because every fiber of his being was telling him to connect with Tony. “Someone posted an extremely negative post, and the rest is history,” Rob says. “The moral of this story is to obey your instincts and take a chance on love.” Though Tony was living in Metamora, Ohio, he moved down to Florida when they decided to “make our long-distance love affair official.” In February 2018, Rob surprised Tony with a hot air

balloon ride over Orlando, then further surprised him when he got down on one knee and popped the question. “We both love the ‘Up’ movie, so the balloon is very symbolic of our love story,” Rob says. Their wedding hashtag — #UpUpAndAway2019 — even reflected their love for the Pixar film. The couple tied the knot on the beach in St. Petersburg, with Tony’s sister Casie Carr officiating. The wedding was attended by their closest friends. On Tony’s side, his friends from physical therapy school and his high school best friend attended and on Rob’s side, friends and entertainers Jamie Lee and Jessica Marquart as well as his closest male friends. The reception also featured cigar rollers from Long Ash Cigars, cupcakes from Sweet by Holly and “Mama Ling-Ling’s Thanksgiving Sandwiches”

from Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria of St. Pete, delivered by owner Tom Woodard himself. “This [sandwich] has been an addiction of mine ever since I moved to Orlando and I am known for bringing out of town visitors to the Orlando location,” Rob says. “Pom nicknamed me ‘The Godfather of Pom Pom’s,’ so this was very special to include in our celebration.” One of Rob and Tony’s favorite moments from the wedding was the reading of their vows. “We both wrote our vows and kept them a secret from one another until the ceremony,” Rob says. “Needless to say, there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.” The couple also surprised their guests when they did a choreographed dance to Lady Gaga’s “Always Remember Us This Way” as their first dance. Rob says the dance floor was “on fire all night long.” You can watch a video of the happy couple’s first dance on YouTube, keyword search Rob & Tony Domenico’s First Dance.

St. Pete actor ken basque (Nov. 27); former HRC president Joe solmonese, Tampa Bay chef Paege Chafin, Watermark freelancer alec reynolds (Nov. 28); Orlando Bisexual Alliance founder sarah Wissig, St. Petersburg actor Kris doubles, Tampa softballer bubba de, Orlando actor mJ lewis, St. Pete celebrity chef Jeffrey Jew, Delta flight attendant trey orihuela (Nov. 29); Orlando Gay Chorus founding member david schuler (Nov. 30); Tampa hairstylist marc retzlaff, Orlando writer Jim Crescitelli, former Sarasota Pride board member mary Hoch, TIGLFF Co-President mariruth kennedy (Dec. 1); Zebra Coalition CEO heather Wilkie, Orlando realtor Jeff earley, St. Pete socialite todd Wilber, volunteer wrangler cynthia West, Metro Inclusive Health’s JC alcocer, , Tampa trendsetter Cameron Williams (Dec. 2); City of Sarasota Human Rights Board member michael shelton, former Tampa bowler dave bauer, Watermark freelancer Kirk Hartlage, Watermark’s Tampa Bay Bureau Chief ryan Williams-Jent (Dec. 3); Spathouse’s scott durfee, Cider Press Cafe owner roland strobel (Dec. 5); Sarasota actor Kristofer Geddie, Bambu the Eco Salon co-owner Joshua deBlock, Tampa Bay actor daniel harris, “Flame On” podcast host Bryan Pittard, Osceola Arts COO Jeremiah Krivinchuk, Bites and Bubbles entrepreneur eddie nickell, Quench Lounge’s theresa mcGivern (Dec. 6); Orlando Theatre goddess beth marshall, St. Pete psychiatrist tom Young, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor, Tampa’s Red Herring Ltd. expert ivan moros (Dec. 7); Come Out With Pride President Jeff Prystajko, Orlando Fringe’s Brian sikorski, uOwn Real Estate founder sean Frank, St. Pete free spirit miranda Colette (Dec. 8); Orlando entertainer Justin shakeri, Watermark’s Kathleen Sadler’s super mom barbara england, Southern Nights Orlando bartender Cameron macdonald, Southern Nights Orlando’s d’andre Bims, Tampa Bay entertainer PheYonce montrese aka Metro’s nate taylor, Tampa Bay realtor rick Fifer (Dec. 9); Orlando comic Jeff Jones, Tampa Bay actor spencer meyers, Mitzi Morris’ alter ego Kevin Kreigel, Largo pharmacist eric Hutton, Tampa Bay entertainer Veronica Vixen, St Pete Pride Marketing Manager Fernando Chonqui (Dec. 10); onePULSE Foundation’s mark cady, former Watermark contributor John sullivan, Christian Minister chancey rich, Tampa Bay Bulldog softballer Les Croy (Dec. 11)

— Lora Korpar

do you have an interesting wedding or engagement story you’d like to share with Watermark readers? if so, email the details to editor@Watermarkonline.com for consideration as a future feature on this page.

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

the last page hometown:

Salt lake City, Utah

iDentiFieS aS: Gay

PronoUnS:

She/Her

oUt year:

2001

ProFeSSion (JoB titLe):

owner/operator Mellow Mushroom pizza Bakers

ProFeSSionaL roLe moDeL:

Strong female leaders

aUtoBiograPhy titLe:

“Manifest destiny”

hoBBieS:

Bowling, reading, traveling, Hanging out at the beach with my wife

Karen atwood o W n e r / o p e r ato r M e l lo W MUSHrooM piZZa BakerS

He LAsT PAGe is DeDicATeD TO

individuals who are making a positive impact on the LGBTQ community in Central Florida and Tampa Bay. This issue, we check in with Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers owner Karen Atwood from Sarasota. Keep an eye on this space to learn more about the movers and shakers of your community. What Do you Do professionally?

I focus on building relationships, growing sales and overseeing the day to day operations of the restaurant, Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers. recommend People to: Central Florida Bureau Chief Jeremy Williams at: Jeremy@Watermarkonline.com tampa Bay Bureau Chief ryan Williams-Jent at: ryan@Watermarkonline.com

hoW Do you champion for the local lgbtQ community?

Mellow is a destination for the LGBTQ community in Sarasota. We sponsor a variety of events, host fundraisers and strive to be visible and active wherever and whenever we can. We are also involved in a local LGBTQ bowling league called “A League of Our Own,” which is a recreational bowling league which donates

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

its proceeds to local community non-profits such as CAN Community Health, ALSO Youth and Equality Florida. My wife, Keo Sarang, sits on the board and has championed the goal of growing the league in an effort to diversify the member base and to raise more money for the non-profits we support. This has become a fun and fulfilling part of our lives. What is your favorite thing to reaD in WatermarK?

The cover article for sure! Out and About is always fun! What is your favorite local lgbtQ event?

oh gosh, that’s hard to say. We enjoy attending Sarasota oUt events such as G2H2 and the Big Gay Beach party. the Harvey Milk Festival is a MUST – and (selﬁshly), oUt with the Girls ttMM (third thursday at Mellow Mushroom) each month is always a blast! What is your favorite thing about the local lgbtQ community?

The welcoming nature of the community and there is always something to do! What WoulD you liKe to see improveD in the local lgbtQ community?

That’s hard to say, I love the community! I would like to see some of the disparate LGBTQ groups (Sarasota Pride, Harvey Milk Festival and Sarasota OUT) come together for improved planning, especially of our Pride Festival. What WoulD you liKe our reaDers to KnoW about you?

Rotary Club and it’s been a humbling experience to be a part of such a service oriented organization. I wish I had more time to spend in the community and beyond, living the “Service Above Self” mantra. What aDvice WoulD you give your younger self?

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Listen to your gut – for real, listen! Oh, and start saving money as early as possible! What are some of the most reWarDing aspects of running melloW mushroom?

I love the relationship aspect of it. Meeting new people, feeding those people and hearing how much they love Mellow! hoW Do you personally melloW out?

Keo and I love to just hang out at home and watch TV! It’s a great stress reliever for us.

If I could volunteer full time I would. I belong to the Sarasota

NoveMber 27 - DeceMb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com

watermark Your LGBTQ life.

November 27 - Decemb er 11, 2019 // Issue 26 . 24 wat e r m a r konline .com