Watermark's Wedding Guide 2023 by Watermark Publishing Group

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LGBTQ Couples Face Challenges: · Are you and your partner having the same argument again and again? · Do you feel like you don’t really know or understand your partner anymore? · Are you ready to learn how to communicate with your partner in ways that bring you together? · Are you ready for effective and compassionate support from a couples’ therapist who understands the unique strengths and challenges of your relationship? It is my role as a couple’s therapist to help you answer these questions. I will help you navigate the roadblocks that are keeping you stuck in unhealthy cycles and move you into a meaningful connection.

Topics that can be addressed in Couples Therapy:

Healthy Communication • Managing Conflict • Intimacy • Monogamy • Open Relationships Internalized Homophobia • Societal Pressures • Attachment Issues • Long-Term Compatibility For more information about me and my practice visit www.AZupkaCounseling.com or reach out directly to Alan@AzupkaCounseling.com | (407) 986-2888 WATERMARK’S WEDDING GUIDE 2023

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Watermark's

Contents

7 // The Big Day a Diﬀerent Way 15 // Marital Milestones 24 // Married in Mexico 30 // LGBTQ+-friendly Vendor Directory

Wedding Guide 2023 Published by Watermark Publishing Group, Inc. Cover photo by Rachel Joan Photography. OWNER/PUBLISHER RICK TODD EDITOR-IN-CHIEF JEREMY WILLIAMS MANAGING EDITOR RYAN WILLIAMS-JENT

CREATIVE TEAM CAITLIN SAUSE DYLAN TODD CONTRIBUTING WRITER SHERYL KAY SALES DIRECTOR DANNY GARCIA

Contents of this Wedding Guide 2023 are protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of the publishers. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles, advertising, or listing is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or members or organizations. Watermark Publishing Group cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers. CELEBRATE YOUR LGBTQ+ LOVE.

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The Big Day a Different Way Ways same-sex couples are reinventing wedding traditions Jeremy Williams

ame-sex marriage has been legal in the U.S. for less than a decade, and this has allowed LGBTQ+ couples to be at the forefront of reinventing what marriage looks like in the modern age. Marriage is a concept that has been around for ages. The first recorded marriage was in 2350 B.C. and has been a tradition in all societies. Many of the wedding traditions we know have been going on for hundreds — even thousands — of years, so it’s no wonder when modern couples are planning for their big day, they automatically think that they need to follow them. But that has been changing over the last several years. Led by same-sex couples, weddings are becoming more of a celebration of the people, not the traditions.

Proposals

Traditionally, when a man wanted to marry his best gal, he would first have to ask permission from the father of the bride. As long as you were given his blessing, you were then free to take a knee and propose to your bride with an engagement ring. This tradition dates back to ancient Rome and was more of an agreement of ownership. The groom would offer the father a coin in exchange for permission to marry his daughter. The father would say yes or no, the bride had no say in it. While the meaning has changed, some straight couples have continued with this tradition but for many, especially same-sex couples, they are opting for something less organized. According to TheKnot.com,

roughly 40% of same-sex couples don’t make a big deal out of proposing — compared to 9% of straight couples. “Many same-sex couples have been in a committed relationship for decades before tying the knot,” they write. “[So they leave] out the pomp and circumstance of the proposal and mutually decided to take their commitment to the ultimate level.” For some LGBTQ+ couples, bucking with tradition even means saving the money you’d spend on a ring and opting for a more practical exchange such as watches or airline tickets to a dream destination, or something more meaningful to the couple like a family heirloom or matching tattoos.

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Wedding parties

The traditional wedding party has always relied on societal gender norms, with all-female bridesmaids and all-male groomsmen. But in modern times, gender norms are not something that most couples — LGBTQ+ or otherwise — adhere to. One of the earliest mentions of the bridal party comes from the biblical story of Jacob, states WeddingWire.com. In the story, Jacob’s two wives are escorted to the wedding by their servants. In those times, the bridesmaids were not usually friends or family members but rather domestic workers who catered to the bride’s every need during the wedding day. That tradition evolved to a group of women selected by the bride who would dress in white as well in order to confuse evil spirits of which one

the bride was should they decide to try and ruin the wedding. On the groom’s side, the tradition of the best man is thought to date back to Germanic Goths, who would stand at the side of the groom — who had most likely taken his bride by force — and fight off attacking family members who were trying to stop the wedding from happening. For most, warding off evil spirits and fighting off rogue family members during a wedding are not common practice these days. This allows couples to pick a wedding party that is more blended than those in the past, and lets you have the most important people in your life at your side regardless of gender. This same thought process let’s you and your wedding party wear whatever you want. The traditional black tux and white wedding dress can be thrown

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out for vibrant colors, cooler materials or a more casual look. There is also the option of having no wedding party at all. According to TheKnot.com, less than half of same-sex couples opt to even have a wedding party, compared with 87% of straight couples who do.

Ceremony norms

Many wedding ceremonies are drenched in traditions based in religious practices. During medieval times, the Catholic church made it so law dictated that a priest had to oversee a couple’s wedding ceremony and bless the marriage. The tradition of the bride walking down the aisle with a bouquet of flowers originated in the Midde Ages to cover up the smell of the bride, according to Huffpost. In those days, people did not bathe with regularity so a bouquet — usually made up of strong herbs such as garlic and dill — was given to the bride to cover up her body odor. In modern times, where bathing is not only more common but highly encouraged, flowers for the big day are mostly chosen for their aesthetics and colors more than what they smell like. Going back to the father of the bride, as is tradition, he would walk the bride down the aisle to give her away. As the phrase suggests, in early days this was seen more as a business transaction rather than something done solely for love. "One of my favorite things about wedding traditions is watching couples reinvent them to reflect their personal priorities and needs," Sara Bauleke, wedding planner at Bella Notte, said to TheKnot.com. CONTINUED ON PG. 13 | uu |

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Glamorous Events. Glorious Views.

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"The processional down the aisle provides so many opportunities for couples to do this." As far as walking down the aisle, many couples — both queer and straight — are opting to have both parents walk them down the aisle, or a different family member or friend instead. Some couples even choose each other, with TheKnot.com reporting that 37% of couples walk down the aisle together instead of being escorted. "We have had couples walk from opposite sides of the room at the same time, walk down together, and walk one

right after the other. We have also had couples waiting at the altar and the guests walk down the aisle. No two couples are the same, so no two ceremonies should be the same," wedding and event planner Jove Meyer told MarthaStewart.com. The traditional seating arrangement, groom’s family on one side and the bride’s on the other, are also out the window with same-sex couples choosing less traditional options like open seating, arranging the chairs in a circle around the couple or even going standing room only.

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Marital Milestones

Traditional and modern gifts for celebrating your anniversary Ryan Williams-Jent

ike your wedding itself, commemorating it in the years that follow can take many forms — if you want to mark your marital milestones at all. But if you’ve taken the time to say “I do,” you’re probably interested in celebrating your happily ever after in some way. Usually that means through an anniversary gift, a tradition that long predates marriage equality. The concept itself has been traced to Ancient Rome, becoming more prevalent in the late 19th century. “This was a period when it became an exchange of gifts or gifts from other people, because this was the period when the love match was triumphing,” expert Stephanie Coontz has explained to TIME. She authored “Marriage, a History” and more.

“When the love match was first invented it was very destabilizing and traditional conservatives were horrified by the idea,” she continued. “What in the world will we do to get people married and keep them married if love is the main reason? And so there began to be this emphasis on building a love and commitment.” This eventually led to couples celebrating silver anniversaries and more, championed in modern times by companies like Hallmark and industry experts like TheKnot.com. “Every year of marriage is a unique achievement and, if you didn't already know, most years are also associated with unique gifting themes to help celebrate,” the latter’s website reads. “The idea behind anniversary year themes is

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pretty darn clever: With each year that passes, your relationship grows stronger — and so do the traditional materials.” It’s generally agreed upon that milestones include your first five years together, followed by your 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th and 30th anniversaries.

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into play as your love keeps growing. They can be simple bouquets to showcase your love, or even a recreation with your wedding’s floral arrangement. Fruit can be edible or in seed form to plant and watch grow. An appliance is a modern option that benefits your entire household.

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After that, it’s every decade — which is why we’ve compiled this list of traditional and modern options to help you celebrate your LGBTQ+ love year after year.

1st Anniversary

TRADITIONAL GIFT: PAPER | MODERN: CLOCKS Paper can symbolize a blank slate or new beginning. Gifts might include a journal with a meaningful handwritten letter, a painting or a printed photograph. Clocks are meant to represent your eternal love, which may mean purchasing tabletop timekeepers or even wrist or smart watches.

3rd Anniversary

TRADITIONAL GIFT: LEATHER | MODERN: CRYSTAL OR GLASS Leather is meant to represent shelter and security as a couple’s love continues to grow. That might mean gifting things like a braided bracelet, bag or wallet, or even a leather jacket or pair of shoes. Glassware is common for a more modern approach and can be enjoyed together.

2nd Anniversary

TRADITIONAL GIFT: COTTON | MODERN: CHINA Cotton represents the interconnected threads a couple is building. This traditional gift might take shape through personalized clothing or bedding. China symbolizes TRADITIONAL GIFT: fragile beauty — and after two FRUIT/FLOWERS | years, it might be time to swap MODERN: APPLIANCES out a gift from your wedding registry, anyway. These traditional gifts come

4th Anniversary

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5th Anniversary

TRADITIONAL GIFT: WOOD | MODERN: SILVERWARE At half a decade, your relationship has roots. It’s why wooden gifts are the traditional option, with choices like picture frames featuring art or photographs, keepsakes mounted on wood or even trees you can plant. Silverware is something you can enjoy while partaking in meals together in the years to come.

6th-9th anniversaries GIFTS VARY

Every year matters, not just major milestones. For your sixth anniversary, the traditional gift is candy or iron and wooden objects are the modern choice. Copper or CONTINUED ON PG. 22 | uu |

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wool are the traditional choice for your seventh anniversary, with desk sets the choice for modern. For your traditional eighth anniversary it’s bronze or pottery, or linen/lace for modern, and your ninth is willow/pottery or the modern leather.

10th Anniversary

TRADITIONAL GIFT: ALUMINUM/TIN | MODERN: DIAMOND JEWELRY Couples celebrating a decade of marriage might choose the traditional gift of aluminum or tin to represent preservation. The materials don’t rust and are often used for storage. The modern gift of diamond jewelry is the self-explanatory shortcut to the Diamond anniversary, traditionally 60 years.

11th-15th Anniversaries GIFTS VARY

or gold jewelry at 14. At 15 years, another milestone, the traditional gift is crystal while the modern gift is a watch. Time can't stop your love.

20th,25th & Beyond GIFTS VARY

Traditional and modern gifts tend to overlap as marital milestones continue, but there’s still plenty of room for creativity.

At 20 years the traditional gift is china while the modern is platinum, and at 25 years — the silver anniversary — sterling silver is the gift for each. 30-year anniversary options are the traditional pearl or modern diamond, but things are consistent after that. 40 is the Ruby anniversary, 50 is Gold and 60 is Diamond — because like your love, diamonds are forever.

Moving beyond a decade of marriage is worth celebrating however you see fit. The traditional and modern gifts for 11 years are steel or fashion jewelry; silk/linen or pearl for 12; lace or either textiles or faux fur for 13 years and ivory

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Married in Mexico

Couples commit to one another and more in Cozumel Sheryl Kay

heir seven-hour first date back in 2016 may have been predictive to some, but Madeline and Vanessa Freeman insist it really was just a great first date. In fact, it wasn’t until the two purchased a home together two years later that they felt those “together forever” vibes. But still, neither was rushing to the altar. That all changed in 2020 with COVID, and the fear that should something happen to one, the other might have to deal with all kinds of legal uncertainties. A year later Madeline, a marketing consultant, proposed to Vanessa, a police oﬃcer. Both agreed they wanted to elope, so rather than all the work with guests lists, venues, catering and more, the pressing questions became when and how.

By coincidence the two had already been planning on a cruise vacation a few months after the proposal. Then Vanessa suggested a great mash up — a cruise, elopement and honeymoon all at once. With that in mind they started looking at different cruise destinations that would provide an awesome wedding. “We really wanted something simple and intimate,” says Madeline. “And we both really wanted to get married on the beach.” Google led them to Cozumel Wedding Planner, owned by Stephanie Skiba, and fortunately the tiny island off the coast of Mexico was one of the stops on their Norwegian Cruise ship. “I personally loved that everything was included: photos,

cake, ceremony, flowers, etc.,” Madeline recalls. “All we knew is that we wanted to get married and have someone else handle all the details." Skiba, originally from Chicago, fell in love with Cozumel 25 years ago, moved down and started her wedding planning business in 2001. She coordinated her first same-sex wedding there in 2013, for her cousin and her prospective wife. “Hiring a destination wedding planner relieves the stress of planning from afar, especially since the majority of vendors only do business in Spanish and you are not familiar with the venues nor how things operate on a small island,” notes Skiba. “It is always best to have someone who knows the ins and outs of the CONTINUED ON PG. 27 | uu |

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Weddings that make history

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destination and can communicate on your behalf locally.” Cozumel Wedding Planner features exclusive event spaces and Skiba works with dozens of vendors on the island, staying abreast of both classic ideas and emerging trends, which carries a lot of weight with patrons. Her packages start at just under $600. Many LGBTQ+ couples arrive via cruise ship and are in port for less than 24 hours. Her company is happy to coordinate those, as well as larger scale weddings with caterers, photographers, music, rehearsal dinners and more. “Either via cruise ship or flying in and staying on the island, weddings on the island are more economical than the majority of venues and vendors in the United States, including the flight and hotel or cruise you would have purchased for your honeymoon, so being able to combine the two is a smart choice economically,” Skiba says. “Cozumel is accessible at a variety of price points: economical cruises, charter flights and in town hotels or Air BnBs to five-star beach front hotels or condos.” Skiba also connects with clients prior to their arrival in Cozumel. Clients need to know they’ll

Photo courtesy Miri Adventures

have to bring a valid passport, back to their boat by 1 p.m. and blood tests results as required Not everyone arrives by ship, by Mexican law (blood type RPR of course, and many couples want and HIV). Couples will also need to spend more time on the island four witnesses over the age of 18, after the wedding. The beautiful but if they are traveling alone, thing about Cozumel is that there Skiba will provide those too. is so much to do, even on the Madeline Freeman remembers tiny 184 square-mile island, from not only the ease of using a scuba to jungle treks. specialist in LGBTQ+ wedding Miranda Rios, a gay diver and planning for the upfront coordination, but also the great relief in having that back up when things didn’t go exactly as planned. To begin with, their alarm the morning of the wedding didn’t go off, so the couple was Photo by Sheryl Kay already behind an hour when they stepped off tour guide based in Cozumel, the ship. They had also forgotten can help plan that extended visit to pick a song for walking down through her Miri Adventures the aisle. Skiba, she said, handled company (see her insta page @ it all in stride. miri_adventures). Her service is Memories of that day include personalized to give each client walking to the altar together in the opportunity to find the flip flops in the sand, a perfectly hidden gems on Cozumel. She’s short and sweet ceremony by a especially proud of her ecological local judge, and taking photos background, and her devotion to trapsing up and down the beach Mayan history and culture. in their wedding attire. She’s also dedicated to marine “The water soaked the biology and spends a great deal of bottom of my dress,” Madeline time on coral reef restoration and remembers. “I wanted photos in rejuvenation just off the coast. the water so I was fine with my Rios provides same-sex and dress getting wet. I just didn’t other couples views of Cozumel think about how heavy it would that most tourists miss. She can make the dress. The photos were take travelers into the crystal worth the pain of an extra 20 clear waters to swim with sharks pounds.” and turtles, or stay on land and As they strolled along the view stingless bees, turtle nests beach, music was playing close by and crocodiles. She also offers which led to their “first dance,” drone video filming which can be the Macarena. After making such a really nice addition to wedding incredible memories, they were CONTINUED ON PG. 28 | uu |

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photos. For those captivated by the more typical spots, she’s also happy to bring vacationers to the standard sites including Jade Caverns, the look out at El Mirador, the El Cedral ruins, and she’ll fill in the info of LGBTQ+ life on the island. Interestingly, although Cozumel is very open and welcoming, there is no LGBTQ+ bar or club. Not yet, anyway. Rios says there is a new game in town that will be opening called POSE

Bar, and while it will be open to everyone, it will be an LGBTQ+ club. She also notes the extremely popular drag show at Cochinitos in San Miguel, about a sixminute car ride from the ferry station. All are welcome, she says. And of course, there’s Pride in June. “It’s a big carnival,” she says, “and there's the tradition that men dress as women and women as men.” Couples considering an island “weddingmoon” option can also check in

Photo by Sheryl Kay WATERMARK’S WEDDING GUIDE 2023

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with Cozumel Dream Wedding Makers (cozumeldwm.com), another planning company with experience in creating that magic for the LGBTQ+ community, as well as for straight couples. In addition to organizing flowers, catering, hairstyling and makeup, owner Fracisco Mundo also has connections for providing spiritual rituals such as handfasting, sand unity, lasso, and Mayan ceremonies. In fact, he’s gone one step further. Several years ago he was faced with a local oﬃciant he has used several times for straight weddings, who refused to perform the wedding when it became apparent it was for a same-sex couple. Fortunately, he was able to find someone to stand in, but did not want to face that situation again. So, in 2019 he was ordained as a non-denominational minister by the Universal Life Church. Now he can oﬃciate either same-sex or straight-symbolic weddings and vow renewals (due to the ever-strong influence of the Catholic Church there, only civil marriages or unions of LGBTQ+ couples are recognized by Mexican law). Mundo says there

are so many reasons why the LGBTQ+ community would feel comfortable in getting married in Mexico. Even beyond the pioneering legislation in a fairly religious country, LGBTQ+ couples will find a true welcoming and safe environment in Cozumel. Hotels, restaurants, and service providers are completely committed to inclusivity. He also points to the culinary delights, including a blend of Mayan, Spanish and Mestizo influences. Whether its street food, local eateries, or upscale dining, every palate can be satisfied with the flavors of Cozumel. Even history buffs will be turned on, as the rich heritage is evident in the island's architecture, traditions, and festivals. “We don't see gender or race, rather couples who want to unite their lives in unique and diverse ways, reflecting their individuality,” Mundo says. “Love knows no boundaries, and it's our mission to provide all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation, with a memorable and supportive wedding experience.” Learn more about Cozumel Wedding Planners at GayWeddingsCozumel. com.

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BILMAR BEACH RESORT 866-455-3953 BilmarBeachResort.com

WALT DISNEY WORLD SWAN AND DOLPHIN 407-934-183 SwanDolphin.com/Weddings

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TRAVEL AND TOURISM ORLANDO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT/ MCO 407-825-2001 OrlandoAirports.com

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Jennifer & Kristie 407.934.1883 weddings@swandolphin.com C E L E B R A T E Y O U R L G B T Q + L O V E . 31 WATERMARK’S WEDDING GUIDE 2023

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