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G od L oves A G ood Fight My Vi sit to an ASIAN BROT H E L STEVE G ALL AG H E R
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C onfessions of a Wife of a Worship L eader JOYCE
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MAGAZINE PURE LIFE MINISTRIES is fully committed to bringing the hope, healing and restoration found only in Christ to those who have been touched by the leprosy of sexual sin. Our staff members are graduates of one of our counseling programs themselves and have responded to the call of God to freely give to others the same compassion and mercy which the Father freely bestowed upon them. They are men and women who know how to speak the truth of God in love. In fulfilling our call, Pure Life Ministries is founded upon the authority of the Word of God as the supreme and allsufficient Truth for overcoming sin. We unashamedly preach a message of repentance unto salvation. Everything we do— whether in our counseling programs, our speaking ministry or the distribution of our books and resources—is based on the Word of God, with the goal of leading others to victory over sexual sin through a deeper life in God.
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T H E WAY I S E E I T
The Conscience Seared BY STEVE GALLAGHER Founder and President of Pure Life Ministries
Most people think of hardened criminals and the most duplicitous of men when speaking of someone with a seared conscience. Yet, I believe many in the Church today suffer from this very problem. The apostle Paul had a clear understanding of the deleterious effects of sin on the human heart. He spoke of those who were “seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron” (2 TIMOTHY 4:2), and those who “because of the hardness of their heart (have) become callous.” (EPHESIANS 4:18-19) Both metaphors—the seared conscience and the hardened, calloused heart—describe the same phenomena. What is the human conscience? According to Vine’s Dictionary the Greek word for conscience (suneidesis) literally means to have a “co-knowledge” of something resulting in one’s “sense of guiltiness before God.” Thus, we were created with a unique and intrinsic faculty that gives us sort of a third-person perspective on the rightness and wrongness of our actions and the feelings of guilt experienced over sinful behavior. In the physical realm, the conscience can be compared to the human nervous system. When a person is wounded, he feels pain—the body’s way of alerting him that something is wrong. Likewise, when a person sins, the human soul has a warning system that sounds an alarm because the person’s actions wound him spiritually. Within his soul, the alarm trumpets: “Mayday! Mayday! Something is wrong!” What happens to a person who loses his sense of physical pain? Consider lepers who, having lost the sense of feeling in their extremities, are often terribly hurt or even die
because they are unaware of a bodily injury. This is a picture of the hardening that goes on inside a person who remains in unrepentant sin. His conscience becomes seared, burned so often that it can no longer feel the guilt of sin. As a tough callous forms on his heart, the spiritual system God constructed within him slowly loses its ability to detect the damage being done to it. No wonder professing Christian men in habitual sexual sin can sit in church week after week, singing songs of worship to a God they continually defy. “Hardened by the deceitfulness of sin,” (HEBREWS 3:13) their entire beings are riddled with the leprosy of evil which they can no longer even detect! They are “seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron.” However, there is hope! When a person in habitual sin repents—by acknowledging his guilt and taking steps to put it behind him— the hardened heart begins to soften, and he gradually begins to experience the conviction of sin again. Finally he is back in the place where God can reach him and help him overcome. As the writer of Hebrews exclaimed, “how much more will the blood of Christ... cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” (HEBREWS 9:14) Nobody enjoys the feeling of guilt over wrongdoing. However, the alternative is to have no feeling: no Holy Ghost conviction, no sense of right and wrong, and no sense of shame over the evil nature of sin. The human conscience truly is a gift from God. Personally, I plan on treasuring this gift by maintaining a soft heart and a ready ear for the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit.
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My Vi s i t t o a n
A S IA N B R O T H E L BY STEVE GALL AGHER
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Conveniently located on the busiest corner in the city, directly across the street from the library and next door to the public restrooms, I couldn’t miss the building. Its proprietors, having ingeniously carved little signs into the sidewalks around town, directed me right to it. Once inside, I followed a long snake-like hallway through the maze of tiny rooms— just big enough for a single-sized bed in each. As I made my way past each of those cubbyholes, I began to ponder the fate of the girls who once worked in this house of prostitution. You see, this establishment has been closed down for some time now. It is located in the ruins of the city of Ephesus, in the province of Asia. Walking through the ruins, I wondered if some of those early Ephesian Christians frequented this brothel. How many of them were sexual addicts? What did the First Century pastors of that church—men like Paul, Timothy, and John—do to help those struggling saints? One thing is for sure: they didn’t pass them off to a psychologist! No, it is certain they turned to the Word of God, the ONLY source of wisdom for a believer struggling with habitual sin. Today, just as in biblical times, sexual sin continues to be the single greatest cause of defeat for Christian men. While prostitution remains a problem, the greatest area of temptation facing today’s Christian men is pornography. Thanks to the internet, we can have an Asian brothel right in our own home. Perhaps the following verses from Proverbs are the very words to which those early Christian pastors referred their men. To bring it up to date, I will substitute the word pornography for “prostitute” in this passage: Listen to me, young men, don’t let your desires get out of hand; don’t let yourself think about pornography. Don’t go near it, stay away from where it is, lest it tempts you
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and seduces you. For it has been the ruin of multitudes—a vast host of men have been its victims. If you want to find the road to hell, look for the places that offer pornography. (PROVERBS 7:24-27 TLB)
The advice Solomon gives here is just as relevant to us today as it was to the men of the early Church. In this portion of Scripture, he gives us the following important tips: DON’T LET YOUR DESIRES GET OUT OF HAND DON’T GO NEAR IT DON’T LET YOURSELF THINK ABOUT IT These three pointers are worth looking at more closely. DON’T LET YOUR DESIRES GET OUT OF HAND First, don’t let your desires get out of hand because they will determine the course of your life. Perhaps this is why Solomon said in another section of Proverbs: “Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life.” (PROVERBS 4:23 TLB) Jesus said it this way: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (MATTHEW 6:21) The desires that a person allows to lead him will determine his lifestyle. I can safely say that every Christian I have ever dealt with who had a problem with porn also lived a life that revolved around pleasure and entertainment. Kept in their proper perspective, one can have his little indulgences in this world. Unfortunately, many men believe that they should be able to fill their lives with them. Solomon is telling men struggling with
habitual sexual sin that they cannot expect to break the addiction to immorality until they first change their lifestyle of pleasure that is providing the environment for it to thrive. A man must change the course of his life from one that revolves around carnal desires to one that is centered upon the Lord. DON’T GO NEAR IT The second piece of advice given is to avoid those places known to harbor temptation. Once more we turn to the words of Solomon, again substituting the metaphor of the prostitute with that of pornography: “Young men, listen to me, and never forget what I’m about to say: Run from pornography! Don’t go near where it is, lest you fall to its temptation and lose your honor, and give the remainder of your life to the cruel and merciless, lest strangers obtain your wealth, and you become a slave of foreigners.” (PROVERBS 5:7-10 TLB)
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O nce inside , I followed a long snake- like hallway through the ma z e of tiny rooms .
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The second pointer the old wise king gives is to avoid those areas that house sexual temptation. For men today, this means more than staying away from the obvious sensuous places such as the red light district where porn shops, strip clubs, and massage parlors abound. It means that we must cut off every avenue the enemy might use to lure us into sin. Obviously, if the internet is the source of the problem, then the struggling believer must find a way to protect himself from it. I will offer a couple of ideas here. The first possibility is to get a good online filter that will protect you from having access to anything pornographic. Another possible solution is to have a password that only your wife knows, so that it is not possible to get on the internet without her presence. If for some reason these two answers will not provide the protection you need, then you simply must disconnect your computer from the internet—you cannot afford not to. DON’T LET YOURSELF THINK ABOUT IT That brings us to Solomon’s final tip: guard your minds and hearts. If you sit around thinking about the Asian brothel, it will only be a matter of time before you find yourself headed downtown. The following quotation comes from At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry: “The initial step into sin is allowing the thought of temptation to fester. It is extremely difficult to thwart the processes of thought once entertained. James said that a person is tempted “when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust...” This illustrates a man’s lust actually picking him up and carrying him to a place where he cannot defend himself and then enticing him It is almost as if his carnal desires momentarily take control of his mind and carries him away to some dream world where he is then utterly defenseless. Once there, he is swallowed up in the evil imaginations of his own sick heart.” 1
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My visit to the Asian brothel was a reminder that sexual temptation has been one of the devil’s chief weapons against believers since the earliest days of civilization. But along with the problem, the Lord has provided the ageless wisdom found only in Scripture: Don’t let your desires get out of hand; don’t go near it; don’t let yourself think about it!
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The best time to stop a temptation is when it first starts. When a man begins contemplating the temptation, the sin becomes larger and larger in his mind. Before long, all of the consequences of sin— hurting loved ones, drifting further from God, and so on—are crowded out of his mind by the delicious thought of sin. The time to fight temptation is when it first appears. It is very easy to allow the mind to drift into sensuality but very important to stop carnal thinking in its tracks! There are no “pat answers” that stop enticing thoughts, but there are three things a man can always do: Ask the Lord for strength to endure, read the Word, and focus one’s thoughts on the things of God. There is always a “way of escape” for those who look for it! 1
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, Copyright 2000 by Steve Gallagher.
“Our Most Valuable Resources in an Audiobook Format!” SEXUAL IDOLATRY
i THE ROOT OF SIN EXPOSED
WHEN HIS SECRET SIN BREAKS HER HEART
Multitudes of men have failed time and time again to live a victorious Christian life. Since 1986, this book remains the definitive Christian work on sexual addiction and has shown tens of thousands of Christian men the path to real freedom from sexual sin.
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Pastors, your men need help. Give it to them today. For the first time ever, we have produced a DVD curriculum based on At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. This 14-week series features 28 exclusive teachings and 14 powerful testimonies of men whose lives have been redeemed from destruction and transformed by the gospel.
AT THE ALTAR OF SEXUAL IDOLATRY DVD CURRICULUM
“This book dares us to believe that sexual addictions of any kind can be overcome through deep repentance, spiritual warfare and accountability.” DR. ERWIN W. LUTZER, Moody Church “Steve reveals with his characteristic clarity: all sin is first and foremost spiritual. And because the diagnosis is accurate the prescription Steve presents is life-changing.” MIKE CLEVELAND, President of Gospel Growth Ministries
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GOD
Loves A Good
FIGHT
Skill alone won’t win a fight. A good boxer knows that if he doesn’t conquer himself in the gym, he will never overcome his opponent in the ring. 11 Many boxing fans consider Mohammed Ali to be the greatest fighter who ever lived. It wasn’t so much his boxing skills, which were exemplary; nor was it his knack of keeping opponents off-balance with a stinging jab; nor was it his capacity to take a punch. Ali had something inside him that only the great ones possess: a champion’s heart. He had a resolve to do whatever it took to win a fight. One of the primary things Ali was known for was his conditioning: his willingness to push himself when he trained. Skill alone won’t win a fight. A good boxer knows that if he doesn’t conquer himself in the gym, he will never overcome his opponent in the ring. The loafer runs two miles rather than ten; he quits his workout when he gets tired; he picks sparring partners who aren’t a challenge. The fighter who has gotten into the habit of going the easy route has trained himself to be a loser. No matter how skilled he might be, when he gets into that ring, his lack of self-discipline and his unwillingness to suffer is going to become evident to all. The truth is that boxing is the devil’s idea
of fighting. The entire sport is built around pride, greed and violence. The boxer is trained to be merciless: Do unto the other guy before he does unto you. This is not the kind of fighting God takes pleasure in. No, it is precisely the opposite of this. As believers, we face a determined foe. He relentlessly stalks us in the ring of life. He is a brilliant strategist and times his shots. He seems to know just when to unleash his barrage of blows against us. However, as is the case with the boxer, the believer’s real battle is fought out in the prefight conditioning period; in other words, in the daily grind of life. If he keeps himself conditioned spiritually, he will be able to withstand the assault of temptation “in the ring on fight day.” The apostle Paul was certainly one of the greatest champions of the Christian faith the world has ever known. He constantly beat the devil because he had first conquered the daily temptation to live to please himself. He prayed. He fasted. He soaked himself in God’s Word. He gave his life away for the sake of
others. He suffered deprivation, persecution and even belittlement by his own followers. He constantly fought the temptation to give in, to go with the flow, to live for self. Paul had the kind of champion’s heart that Muhammad Ali could never understand. “Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called...” he told Timothy. (1 TIMOTHY 6:12) Sluggards always do what is easiest. Visit any boxing gym in the country and you will find the “hangers-on” who will never amount to anything in the world of boxing. They aren’t willing to pay the price required to be a champion. They have trained themselves to quit when the going gets tough. One can only imagine how many extremely gifted fighters never made it to the top because they lacked the resolve— the champion’s heart—to win the battle no matter the cost. Every believer has the opportunity to make a name for himself in God’s kingdom. CONTINUED ON PAGE 12 >>
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Whether we like it or not, we are in the boxing realm of the kingdom of God. Many battles lay ahead of us. The question isn’t whether we will get into the ring or not, but what will happen when we do. One day, the great fighters will be recognized for their efforts. The Lord Himself will raise their hands and acknowledge their victories. For, you see, the kingdom of heaven isn’t built upon those who live a soft life of ease. No, its champions are the fighters: those who refused to go the easy route, refused to quit, and refused to be denied the victory. It is true; Mohammed Ali was one of the greatest boxers the world has ever known. There have not been many men who could stand in the ring with him. He had what the world loves in its fighters: that deep sense of pride that refuses to be beaten. But what does he have to show for it today? Mohammed Ali has passed away and has already had to give an accounting of his life. As his entire life played out before him in that terrible scene of Judgment, I’m afraid that the one thing that stood out was this: Here was a man who lived for self. Was he the greatest fighter who ever lived? No, it seems that he was one more who went the easy route. The real champions are those who laid down their lives for the sake of others. Among Paul’s final recorded words are these:
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I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing. (2 TIMOTHY 4:6-8)
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Pastor,
what is theValue to your Congregation of a Transformed Life and a Restored Family? Our 9-month Residential Program is for men who are desperate for freedom and real answers to their sexual addictions. Why is this program is so effective? • • • • • •
The presence of God that brings a man into deep repentance Complete separation from old sources of temptation Regular biblical counseling by men who have overcome sexual sin themselves Structured environment where a sexual addict can learn a life of discipline Local employment covers low-cost weekly fees Two-phase program with emphasis on readjusting to life afterward
We also provide phone counseling options: Overcomers At-Home (OCAH) ~ for men, women, or mature teens At-Home Program for WIVES ~ for hurting wives NO REPRESENTATIONS MADE OF INDIVIDUALS DEPICTED.
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Confessions of a Wife OF A WORSHIP LEADER
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B Y J O YC E , Although my husband—a successful worship leader—regularly stared at women in public and kept me at arm’s length emotionally, I could never have imagined what he was doing in secret. On October 14th, 2002, my life as I knew it changed forever. Prompted by the Holy Spirit to check the history on his computer,I stared in open-mouthed shock at the filthy and disgusting images of men with men. My first reaction was complete denial: “This can’t be. These are men!” We immediately visited a Christian counselor who offered very little hope. “I’m sorry to tell you that only about 1% of men with these issues ever experience real change,” he pined. I left his office convinced that Mel’s problems were simply too difficult—even for the Lord. Being a pastor’s wife and new to our church, there was no one I could confide in about my marriage. How does one begin to explain that her pastor-husband is addicted to homosexual pornography? Where does one find the words? For months, I waited in
anguished silence; my only outlet was God. Weary and emotionally spent inside, I rose early every day to meet with the Lord. The next several months were a blur. Feeling used and manipulated, I vacillated between depression and anger. I suffered from chronic insomnia and some days could hardly muster enough will to pray. The overwhelming emotions of it all nearly drove me to insanity. I was nothing more than a trophy wife: there to cover the stench of his secret sin! It became increasingly apparent that Mel was not willing to give up his fascination with men. I felt the Lord prompting me to leave. Instead of driving him to his knees, he gave over to his fantasies and engaged in several adulterous relationships with men. My heart broke as God allowed him to plunge deeper into the abyss. Eventually, the emptiness of his sin drove him to seek help. It was then he entered Pure Life Ministries’ Residential Program. For several months, Mel remained hardhearted. Frequently, I longed to give up and divorce
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him, but the Lord would send me Scriptures like Malachi 2:16 about “hating divorce” and I would vow again to wait a while longer. The PLM staff patiently worked with Mel until, at long last, he finally broke. During one Thursday night service, the Lord told him that if he would just surrender his life, He would work a miracle on his behalf. It was then that he began to receive, for himself, the truth of God’s Word. From that time till now, my husband has been increasing in the knowledge of the Lord as he continued to strive to leave his old ways behind him. It has not been an easy path to walk but God has been faithful. That summer, when I went to Kentucky to visit Mel at PLM, I saw a changed man! In a Sunday morning service, we stood worshipping hand-in-hand with our arms raised, confessing in song, “Nothing is too difficult for Thee. Nothing is too difficult for Thee.” What I once thought was impossible happened: God changed my husband’s heart and restored our marriage.
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