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18/02/2011

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CARS, BIKES EVERYTHING ON WHEELS

FEBRUARY 2011 ISSUE 03

EDITORIAL one) who shares some of the world’s number one motoring programme’s philosophy, behind the scenes secrets and the highs and lows of working with Jeremy Clarkson.

As I write this it is a bleak, wet (very wet) Friday afternoon in February.

As usual when there is more than a mist of moisture our roads are flooded, bottle-necked and generally jammed with motorists at varying levels of panic and frustration. I am, however, trying to put my mind in a more happy, serene and pleasurable motoring place by concentrating my thoughts on this year’s Valletta Grand Prix which not only enjoys some typically Maltese springtime weather but also genuinely brings lots of pleasure to us petrol-heads as well as to those who just love the spectacle of impressive cars displayed and performing to their best. Inside this edition of Autoguide you will find car enthusiast Gerald Zammit raring to go for the start of the VGP and introducing us to a couple of prestigious 2011 entrants.

Malcolm Naudi, Autoguide’s technical advisor brings us an interview with Top Gear’s James May (the hairy

Further in this issue Michael Spiteri’s series of motors in the movies turns the spotlight on the ill-fated Delorean and places this iconic vehicle in the context of motoring and movie history – who will ever forget Back to the Future’s Delorean time machine.

Vanessa Macdonald gives us her ideas of what every woman really wants to find in her car – strangely enough Brad Pitt doesn’t appear on her list but other eye-opening things do, including a very odd relocation of the rear view mirror.

We were lucky enough to have enough good days in February to test drive the long awaited BMW X3, the multi award winning Skoda Yeti and the seventh incarnation of the ever popular VW Passat which all feature inside. Plus our regular roundup of the latest motoring news and concepts compiled by Malcolm Naudi. All of which I sincerely hope gives you enough to relax away a Sunday hour or two.

BMW X3

CONTENTS 15 VGP 2011 Gearing up for the 2011 Valletta Grand Prix

31 interview Top Gear's James May interviewed

41 cars in movies Back to the future – The iconic Delorean

This issue we have a €100 voucher for

I have this fantastic replica of the Ferrari

Sonax car care products from Chemimart

Enzo with courtesy of Ferrari Fragrances,

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up for grabs. To win it just answer this

Editor Mike Dimbleby Technical Advisor Malcom J Naudi Creative Director Mark Portelli Art Director Germán Perujo Design & Production Kevin Barun, Germán Perujo, Alan Cachia, Matthew Debono Photography Matthew Debono Advertising Alberto Serra (Sales Manager) - 7944 7447 Email: a.serra@eslmalta.com

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Formula One question.

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The next issue of Autoguide is published Sunday 24th April 2011

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autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 03

road test

TESTED Skoda Yeti The Feelings

words by Mike Dimbleby photos by Matthew Debono Malcolm, my co-test driver usually has the futile task of trying to crush my often child-like enthusiasm when we take a new car out on the road. I tend to be easily impressed by the gadgeting and all the cool bits and sometimes let those embellishments blind me to reality at which point Malcolm’s vastly superior technical knowledge kicks in and I have to focus on the more prosaic aspects at our drive. But this time he turned up to collect me and immediately told me that I was going to love this vehicle and love it I did.

Actually my first impressions were ones of surprise. I don’t really know what I was expecting from this multiple award winning vehicle but the look and the lines of the Yeti impressed from the start. The front end has a tough, muscular look to it which immediately inspires confidence without being intimidating or overpowering. The Yeti sits solidly on the road with an air of confidence and belonging.

The interior is comfortable and spacious, with lots of little extras such as a cargo net and some thoughtful hooks and hangers for bags, baskets and assorted bits. The instrumentation and controls are excellently laid out and offer better ease of use and functionality.

But it is when the door closes with a increasingly solid thunk that the fun begins because when the Yeti is actually on the road it delivered a joyful and responsive drive which outstripped my expectations.

The power pack provides what can only be described as a ‘nippy performance’ while the transmission and suspension offered everything and more than one would expect from a vehicle in this price range.

We took the Yeti for a good run out to Gnejna with not only Malcolm and I enjoying a comfortable ride up front but also Matthew (Autoguide’s Photographer) who is a big lad reported that the back seat drive was not only smooth but also roomy enough to accommodate his long legs.

We put the Yeti through it’s paces for the afternoon and it took everything in it’s stride with performance left to spare. It accelerates well and took the long, steep hill up from Gnejna in it’s stride without breaking sweat (remember we had three adults plus camera equipment on board) and then into a rather traffic-congested central Malta when it not only handled well in the early evening traffic but also managed to turn a few heads gaining admiring glances.

I must be honest and say that I don’t really like the name ‘Yeti’ too much but I do like the Skoda Yeti itself, which is in my opinion an incredibly versatile, value-for-money vehicle which deserves all the international awards that it has gathered, not least for delivering everything that it promises plus that added extra; a fun driving experience….

Malcolm was right, I did enjoy the Yeti.

The Facts words by Malcolm J. Naudi fuction display computer in the dashboard, air-conditioner, and central locking with deadlocks.

The award-winning Yeti is the fifth model shape in the Skoda family.

No fewer than seven variants are available locally, with three levels of trim, two- or four-wheel drive and a choice of both petrol and diesel engines.

While this version emits 159 g of CO2 per kilometre, the most frugal is the 1.6-litre TDI CR diesel with 105 bhp emitting 119 g of CO2/ km. There is a choice of six-speed manual and automatic, with the higher Ambition trim coming on the two four-wheel drive variants with a 1.8-litre 160 bhp TSI turbocharged petrol and a torquey 140 bhp 2.0-litre TDI CR diesel.

The entry level Yeti costing €23,499, with a generous level of specification, is powered by a 105 bhp 1.2-litre four-cylinder turbocharged petrol engine with 175 Nm of torque (pulling power) at between 1,550 and 4,100 rpm.

Standard featues include driver and passenger front and side airbags, an anti-lock braking system (ABS) with a host of other electronic aids including EBD, MBA, EBC and ASR, electrically adjustable and heated door mirrors, 17-inch Dolomite alloy wheels, roof rails in chrome, front fog lights, tinted glass and electric windows front and rear.

You also get a four-spoke twoway adjustable steering wheel, outdoor temperature indication, folding rear armrest and optional outlet to the luggage area, a multi-

Also standard with the Ambition are the small leather pack, a maxi dot instrument display, the Swing CD radio MP3 player, a glasses storage compartment and 17inch Spitzberg alloy wheels.

The Yet measures 4,223 mm long, 1,956 mm wide (including door mirrors) and 1,691 mm high. The luggage compartment volume is highly flexible; up to 1,760 litres is available by removing the rear seats. A luggage cover and net as well as lashing rings are available to secure any load.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 05

AN IMPRESSIVE

SUCCESS STORY ICE-WATCH® will soon be the leading brand in its segment. These watches with their vibrant colours, chosen from the seemingly infinite choice offered by the polymer industries, and their perfectly crafted packaging, are becoming more popular by the minute with hundreds of thousands of consumers.

ICE-WATCH® was launched in Malta at the end of last year and is already a leading brand in its segment. ICE-WATCH® is exclusively available from all Classic Jewellers outlets, Diamonds International boutiques and Cielo Venezia.

More than 3 million watches were sold by the end of 2010, with 250,000 watches being sold per month, at a rate of 5 watches per minute. How nice it is to be able to enhance our leisure and sports activities and our trendy evenings with a choice of perfectly matching watches, at minimal cost. ICE-WATCH® is making its mark every day by proving that it is ready to please by permanently adapting to our ever changing world.

Today, a massive production process is underway. In three years, ICE-WATCH® has obtained an exclusive distribution contract with 81 countries (Europe, Asia, Africa, America and Australia). It boasts 3,700 sales outlets in jewellers, design stores, fashion boutiques.

ICE-WATCH® has had a retail presence since 2007.

The idea came from its creator, the Belgian Jean-Pierre Lutgen, who through numerous trips and a network of trustworthy and reliable partners developed an ingenious idea and launched a global concept with its own visual, tactile, aural and even olfactory identity, showcasing a watch that is fun, hip, intergenerational, available in a complete range of colours, presented in a perfectly matching money-bank case, with a fine tuned and daring marketing strategy.

Ice Watch – change. You can.

road test

TESTED Volkswagen Passat

The Feelings words by Mike Dimbleby photos by Matthew Debono The war in Vietnam ends; Richard Nixon is still US President; Britain joins the EU (EEC); the Sydney Opera House opens; Elton John releases 'Crocodile Rock'; and VW launch the Passat.

Yes unbelievably that is how long the Passat has been a part of our lives. We took the latest Passat incarnation, the seventh, out for a drive to discover what could possibly have changed in this tried, tested and much loved motor car – much loved

by VW as well with over 15 million sold in the past almost four decades.

The day of our test drive was a bit of a grey January day, so we opted to just go cruising in the lanes around

Mdina, Rabat, Dingli and Bingemma.

This latest Passat comes with no big shocks or surprises just more of everything all packed into an impressive motor car which anyone would be proud to own or drive.

The actual driving experience of the Passat is one of quiet, calm, confident driving pleasure. The Passat made me feel that I wanted my driving to not let it down, I wanted to be as good as the drive which it delivers. As we progressed it was easy to just relax and let the afternoon drift away as we put the Passat through its paces, discovering in the process that this seventh edition has more of everything, more comfort, quality, safety, silence and style than its

08 | FEBRUARY 2011 autoguide

predecessors. As you can see from Malcolm's fact file, the Passat has a mega impressive list of driver assistance functions and to be

truthful the test drive became as much about discovering those and their capabilities as it was about actually driving the car!

EXCLUSIVELY AT

Merchants Street, Valletta - Tel. 27 202 202 Bisazza Street, Sliema - Tel. 21 345 202 www.202Jewellery.com (Opening hours: Monday to Saturday from 09.30 to 19.00)

road test The list of functions includes Parking Assist, Fatigue Detection, Easy Open boot assist, Light Assist, Dynamic Light Assist, Side Assist – the list just seems to go on – remarkable in a car of this class, which combined with the super smooth, responsive drive of the Passat all create that special feeling of complete driving confidence that only a few select cars have and very few in this category.

As I drove the Passat I tried to find some fault with it just to make myself feel better but the fact is that this vehicle is everything it

claims to be and more. The drive is smooth and silent in acceleration, handling excellently without roll over. When cornering at speed, the impressive acceleration allows for safe overtaking even on the more meandering roads which form most of our traffic system while the suspension flattened out the worst of the bumps and lumps encountered upon our test drive. It was good to get the Passat on the new road from Zebbug to Mosta to open it up a bit and it responded with the expected vigour giving us a brief glimpse of what the Passat could do

on the longer open roads of Europe.

We took our test model through the early evening traffic congestion of Qormi and San Gwann during which the Passat truly excelled – if I needed a company car to be on the road for extended periods every day, then the stress-free comfort drive offered by the Passat would put it firmly in the list of top drives.

As far as utility the Passat has a huge cargo area enhanced by a combination of rear set folding options to give luggage solutions for any imaginable circumstance. Our

photographer Matthew is now our rear comfort gauge as he is a big strapping lad; if he is comfortable in the rear than anyone can be. I looked in the rear view mirror and he was asleep, so no problem there!

This is not a vehicle for boy racers; rather it is a car for those who enjoy driving in a refined and super efficient way, someone who needs and appreciates the high levels of style, engineering and technology packed into the Passat, someone for whom the drive is as important as the journey.

The Facts words by Malcolm J. Naudi and on request can automatically steer the car into the space with centimetre precision (Park Assist II).

The driver does not need to be concerned about controlling the main beam light switch; it is always there as long as traffic allows. In conjunction with the standard H7 headlights, the Passat automatically switches the main beam on and off as a function of oncoming traffic and traffic ahead of the Passat.

The range of technological innovation in the Passat Comfortline and rangetopping Highline models newly launched in Malta has reached a scale previously found only in upper and luxury class cars.

The fatigue detection system is a world’s first in this class. The system detects waning driver concentration and warns the driver with an acoustic signal lasting five seconds; a visual message also appears in the instrument cluster recommending that the driver take a break from driving. If the driver does not take a break within the next 15 minutes, the warning is repeated.

The Passat is also the first Volkswagen ever to have a city emergency braking function. The

assistance system is part of the further refined ACC (adaptive cruise control) plus Front Assist. The city emergency braking function, active below 30 km/h, also reacts to stationary vehicles; if necessary, it automatically initiates a braking manoeuvre, contributing towards avoidance of an impending front end collision or at least minimising the resulting damage.

All it takes is a specific foot movement behind the car to open the saloon’s boot lid (Easy Open).

Imagine having both hands full – a proximity sensor in the bumper area recognises the virtual kicking motion.

At the press of a button, the Passat “sees“ parking spaces parallel and perpendicular to the carriageway,

010 | FEBRUARY 2011 autoguide

This optional main beam assistant is called Light Assist. If the car is equipped with bi-xenon headlights that come with cornering lights, the main beam remains continually active and is only masked where other traffic participants could be disturbed by glare; this main beam headlight assistant is called Dynamic Light Assist. Both systems become active as soon as vehicle speed exceeds 60 km/h.

As on the Phaeton and the Touareg, the Passat also warns the driver of vehicles in the blind spot (Side Assist). Images from a front camera detect speed limit signs, and displays them in the cockpit. This traffic sign detection system also “sees“ no-passing zones when technically possible, and it calls the driver’s attention to them. Passat

quality is perceptible in the interior with its high-end materials, new seats and door trims, and ambience lighting. The centre console has been modified and the redesigned accents in the instrument panel are visually appealing and pleasing to the touch.

Insulating materials specifically integrated in the dashboard area and doors filter out exterior and engine noises. In addition, a new acoustic film is embedded in the front windscreen and is available as an option for the front side windows; this film blocks out additional noise.

Further safety advances include seatbelt fastening detection for the rear seats and head restraints that now also adjust horizontally on the front seats. The new head restraints for driver and front passenger reduce the risk of whiplash injury in a traffic accident. Moreover, new assistance systems such as Side Assist optimise safety.

All ten engines in the Passat range are more fuel efficient with lower CO2 emissions. The base Passat model in Malta is the pioneering 1.4 TSI with 122 bhp via a six-speed manual gearbox. The vehicle on test was the 2.0 fTDI with 140 bhp via a six-speed automatic gearbox (135 g of CO2/km).

Starting price: €34,000.

road test

TESTED BMW X3 words by Malcolm J. Naudi photo by Matthew Debono German carmaker BMW has once again raised the bar in the luxury four-wheel drive stakes (sports activity vehicles – SAVs is what they are calling the X range) with the all-new, second generation X3.

The design combines the typical BMW X character with a dynamically stretched silhouette.

Thanks to a generous amount of space and a high degree of variability in the interior, it is possible to adapt travel comfort as well as transport capacities to suit individual requirements.

The front design is characterised by the forward-slanting BMW kidney grille, a large headlight assembly, a powerful-looking front apron and the distinctively contoured bonnet.

Together with the round headlights (incorporating daytime running lights that function by means of bright white LED light rings), the fog lamps, positioned towards the outside, form the light source arrangement that is characteristic of BMW X models.

The side view includes powerfully flared wheel arches and the short distance between the front axle and the instrument panel. The rear end is characterised by horizontal lines, underlining the new BMW X3’s robust character. Accurately applied lines and expressively modelled surfaces create attractive light and shadow effects.

Inside the spacious X3 highgrade materials and intelligent functionality ensure a self-assured drive. The raised seating position facilitates convenient entry, while optimising the commanding view of the road. The 8.8-inch highresolution screen at the top of the central console is the largest on-board monitor in its segment.

This is a capacious five-seater built for long-range driving. The luggage compartment stores

between 550 and 1,600 litres, and the rear seat backrest can be split at a ratio of 40:20:40 with the three segments folding down either individually or together.

The X3 on test was powered by the xDrive20d, a 2.0-litre fourcylinder turbodiesel engine with aluminium crankcase and Common Rail direct injection. It delivers a maximum power output of 184 bhp at 4,000 rpm and peak torque of 380 Nm at between 1,750 and 2,750 rpm. Acceleration from 0 to 100 km/h is in 8.5 seconds, and it reaches a top speed at 210 km/h.

It boasts combined consumption of 5.6 litres/100 km and 147 g/ km of CO2 emissions (with the eight-speed automatic gearbox).

Both the automatic transmission and the six-speed manual are combined with an Auto Start Stop function, meaning the engine switches off when you stop in traffic with your foot on the brake pedal and automatically comes back on when you press the

curtain head airbags, three-point automatic seatbelts on all seats, belt force limiters, belt latch tensioners and crash-active front headrests as well as ISOFIX child seat mounts in the rear compartment.

accelerator. Also standard are brake energy regeneration, EPS (Electric Power Steering), demandcontrolled ancillary components, intelligent lightweight construction and tyres with reduced rolling resistance, which contribute to lowering fuel consumption and exhaust emission levels.

Thanks to BMW xDrive permanent four-wheel drive technology the electronic control unit is interlinked with the DSC (Dynamic Stability Control), counteracting at an early stage any tendency to oversteer or understeer with a fast and precise response. The intelligent four-wheel drive technology optimises not only traction, but, above all, handling in bends. Optional Performance Control enhances the BMW X3’s agile handling even further.

The X3 features an extremely torsion-resistant body, precisely defined support structures and large deformation zones. The safety equipment package comprises front and pelvic thorax airbags, side

There is a completely redeveloped suspension system. The combination of a double-joint spring-strut axle at the front and a five-link rear axle in conjunction with a widened track (92 mm wider than that of its predecessor) offers the ideal prerequisites for optimising agility and driving comfort to an equal degree.

EPS, including the Servotronic function for speed-dependent power steering, is standard across the range for the first time and contributes significantly to precise handling. Other standard features are a multi-function steering wheel, alarm, roof rails, park distance control (front and rear), rain sensors, climate air-conditioning, radioCD and Bluetooth connectivity.

Starting price: €52,490.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 13

valletta grand prix 2011

The VGP Event is raring to go words by Gerald J. ZAMMIT – car enthusiast

The third Valletta Grand Prix event is once again being held at UNESCO’s World Heritage City of Valletta during the month of May 2011. This annual historic classic car event is the only one of its kind staged entirely around Valletta’s ring road.

The Valletta Grand Prix is an important element in Malta’s 2011 motorsport calendar. The event not only attracts local afficionados, but is an attraction to foreign motoring enthusiasts and tourists alike. Today, the VGP event is listed on various international websites associated with motoring events.

It is also seen as the Monaco of the Southern Mediterranean.

The event is organised by The Valletta Grand Prix Foundation (VGPF) in collaboration with the Valletta Local Council, Floriana Local Council, Parliamentary Secretariat for Tourism, the Environment and Culture, Malta Tourist Authority, Parliamentary Secretariat for Youth and Sport, Malta Sports Council (KMS), Transport Malta (TM), Ministry for Infrastructure, Transport and Communication (MITC), the Malta

Police Force, Malta Motorsport Federation (MMF), Old Motors Club (OMC), and Island Car Club (ICC), and with the financial support of corporate sponsors and partners.

The 1-km two-day Sprint Event was first held In May 2009. Last May the second event was expanded further to include a 5-day pre main event programme. This ran from

Monday to Friday with the Concours d’Elegance being held on Friday afternoon where many exhibits in pristine condition were on display at Valletta’s Waterfront. Four International judges, three from the UK and one from the US, were invited to Malta to award the points and placings. The main competitive event started on Saturday morning

with practice timed sprint runs and official timed sprint runs held in the afternoon. Sunday saw the exciting 4.2-km full circuit demonstration runs together with other activities.

Over the weekend various local motoring clubs in collaboration with VGPF, Malta’s Old Motors Club and the Malta Motorsport

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 15

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valletta grand prix 2011 Federation participated in static car exhibitions ending with a car parade via the full Valletta circuit.

The 2011 five-day pre main event programme will commence on the evening of Monday, 16 May. From Tuesday 17 to Friday 20 May a series of pre main event activities will be held. The climax here will be the Concours d’Elegance on Friday afternoon. The main timed sprint runs and demonstration runs will be held throughout Saturday 21 and Sunday 22 May. The event comes to a close following the presentation dinner on the Sunday night. The fine details of the 2011 programme is currently being finalised and will shortly be uploaded on the VGPF website www.vallettagrandprix.com.

The 2010 event attracted a mix of over 70 local and foreign participants.

From the encouraging response and interest received so far from foreign and local prospective participants, VGPF envisages an increase in participation of some 100 local and foreign cars. The 2011 Entry Forms together with the Technical Guidelines are already online. It is highly recommended that prospective participants register early.

The Malta Mercedes 180 Tim Slade is fascinated by the VGP event and has an irresistible story tell.

I was contacted by Tim via e-mail in which he related his fascinating story about his dad’s Mercedes 180 saloon and his family’s relationship with Malta shortly after coming across news about our VGP Event.

Not long after Tim was born his father took a secondment to work for the Admiralty in Valletta. This was in 1958. Tim’s sister was born in Malta the following year.

Like many ex-pats, his dad took advantage of the tax situation and bought himself a new car. A car that he would not have been able to afford back in England.

It was ordered through Auto

Sales Ltd, Msida Road, Gzira at the time. In March 1960 he went to Stuttgart and collected his brand new Mercedes in person, and brought it back to Malta.

Tim still drives that car today.

Tim’s father passed away some 33 years ago, and the car has been at Tim ever since. It was the very first car he ever drove, up on the army ranges when he was only 14. After his dad passed away he didn’t have the resources to keep the car running, and it went into hibernation, back in the garage where it lived in his parents’ house since 1961. In 2000 Tim decided to do something about it.

Back in 1961 when the Slade family left Malta, they took an extended holiday on their return to England.

The car was restored and the journey once made as a child some 40 years earlier was repeated when the family travelled from Palermo, up through Sicily and Italy. Of course that original journey had started in Malta. Palermo is still the closest

The car has been featured in many magazines and spent several winters on display at Mercedes Benz World

Tim has been to Malta in 50 years.

The story of this family journey appeared in Classic and Sports Car magazine 10 years ago, and that was the start of Tim’s writing career with car magazines. Tim is also an artist and illustrator.

The car is now well known, having been featured in many magazines.

It has also spent several winters on display at Mercedes Benz World in Brooklands, and has been a regular Goodwood Revival ‘taxi’.

It’s a regular Concours winner, and according to Tim it is one of the best RHD Mercedes 180s in existence.

Now one can understand why Tim would love to enter the Valetta GP. He is determined to make it to Malta this May to run his Mercedes Benz back on our Maltese soil.

Austin Healey 100 conversion This 1953 Austin Healey 100 was bought directly from the Healey Export Department and driven to

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 17

valletta grand prix 2011

Spain by its first owner, a sergeant in the US Air force. After his tour of duty was over, the car was shipped to Chicago, Illinois, USA, and over the ensuing years found its way to California. It was converted in the winter of 1963/64 to Chevrolet power and running gear by Greg Greathouse, one of the doyens of U.S. Healey V8 conversions.

Healeys were being converted as they were no longer competitive in the capacity based SCCA sports car classes of Southern California and Florida, as Austin’s 2,660cc 110 bhp unit struggled against the likes of Maseratis and Ferraris in the up to 3.0-litre classes. The 626 UXK is essentially the same type of Chevy Healey which was so successfully campaigned by Forrest ‘Bud’ Dana in Havana, Cuba, and Nassau in the Bahamas during the winter of 1960. Bud led the 1960 Nassau 250 in his Healey V8 legend against all competition cars, such as, Lotus 19s and Ferrari Testarossas until a gearbox problem reduced him to three gears.

Recent research has indicated that the 626 UXK is now the third oldest surviving Healey V8 conversion, as many cars have been re-united with their original engines as Healey values have continued to escalate in price. A little known fact is that of the 50 custom AH100S racing versions, now valued in the

region of £400k+, at least eight have had V8 conversions in the past. This car was repatriated after 40 years competition in the USA. It took part in various events ranging from sprinting and autocrossing at county fairs and drag racing. It was then completely rebuilt by marque specialist Pete Farmer Performance Racing over a period of 14 months and has since returned to hillclimbing, sprinting and drag racing.

A blown engine at the Castle Combe track two years ago and subsequent rebuild led to the current performance figures of power: 429 bhp @ 5,000 rpm; torque: 469 ft. lbs. @ 4,450 rpm; weight : 1,050

kg; 0-96 km/h: less than 4 seconds; top speed: 257 km/h, but Healey aerodynamics have a hand.

Last season included the inaugural Crystal Palace Sprints, Isle of Jersey Festival Sprint and Hillclimbs, Gurston and Shelsley Walsh Hillclimbs and various club competitions. In August 2010 the 626 UXK was also chosen as one of the 20 or so vehicles to be shown at the prestigious Members Day of the Goodwood Road Racing Club at Goodwood, home of the world-famous Festival of Speed and Goodwood Revival.

This year, Ian, who has been competing in sprints and hillclimbs

since 1995, will be competing in the Valetta Grand Prix, besides the Festival of Motoring, Jersey and other events. Ian has also been invited to enter the Cholmondeley Pageant of Power and holds an MSA Nat. B Speed license.

We look forward to seeing Ian Osborne in Malta with his 1953/64 Chevrolet Healey ‘Greathouse Special’ a.k.a.

FRANKENHEALEY, where he will be in the E Class – Exception Vehicle.

This class caters for out of period modifications to a historic vehicle with proven identity, which has been made using parts or technology not available “in Period’.

The Valletta Grand Prix Foundation welcomes companies or individuals keen to support this exciting motoring event through sponsorships and other forms of support. Motoring clubs and individuals interested in participating in either the Valletta Grand Prix, the Concours d’Elegance, or the static car shows are requested to get in touch with Gerald J. Zammit on +356 7949 8413 or via e-mail gerald.zammit@vallettagp.com.

Or contact any VGPF board member listed on the VGP website for assistance.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 19

news

autoguide update

Autoguide gives you 3 pages of the latest news and views from the motoring world

Bond gives Bentley Carte Blanche Bond is back, and as ever he is sporting the best in luxury cars.

In the pages of Carte Blanche, the new James Bond book by international best-selling author Jeffery Deaver, the fictional British spy has continued his preference for luxury sports cars by selecting the breathtaking new Bentley Continental GT as his transport of choice. Carte Blanche is due to be published by Hodder and Stoughton in the UK on May 26, a few days

before the anniversary of Fleming’s birthday. It has been commissioned

by Ian Fleming Publications Ltd. The book is partly set in Dubai, which is where the author and the new Bond car have been spotted, outside the InterContinental Hotel in Dubai Festival City. Bond’s new Continental GT certainly suits his character, with a fabled 6.0-litre, W12, twin-turbo engine capable of producing 567 bhp.

While James Bond’s new car

may be better suited for a secret agent in understated tones, the author of the book admired a less inconspicuous model. Set in stunning white with a blood-red interior, the new Continental GT mixes svelte good looks with power, poise and exceptional prowess.

The hand-stitched leather interior contains all the high-tech gadgetry Bond could ever need. And with the famed sound dampening that only lets through the captivating sound of the wonderful engine, the cabin provides a true Quantum of Solace for Fleming’s jet-setting gentleman spy.

to new extremes.” Jeffery Deaver has written 28 novels and sold more than 20 million books worldwide. He is best known for his Kathryn Dance and Lincoln Rhyme books, most notably The Bone Collector, which was adapted for film in 1999, starring Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie.

Jeffery Deaver sampled the stunning vehicle on his recent visit to the Emirates, where he commented: “I’m really excited about being back in Dubai. It is an inspirational and awe-inspiring city and makes a perfect Bond location – especially for a novel that pushes our hero

Before becoming a full-time author, Deaver was a journalist, like Fleming, and attorney. He started writing suspense novels on the long commute to and from his office on Wall Street. His books are now translated into 25 languages and he lives in North Carolina.

First demonstration of SARTRE vehicle platooning Platooning may be the new way of travelling on motorways in as little as ten years time – and the EU-financed SARTRE project has carried out the first successful demonstration of its technology at the Volvo Proving Ground close to Gothenburg, Sweden.

and adjusts to the car in front. All vehicles are totally detached and can leave the procession at any time.

This was the first time the EUfinanced development teams in SARTRE (Safe Road Trains for the Environment) tried their systems together outside the simulators.

Vehicle platooning, as envisaged by the SARTRE project, is a convoy of vehicles where a professional driver in a lead vehicle drives a line of other vehicles. Each car measures the distance, speed and direction

The tests carried out included a lead vehicle and single following car.

The steering wheel of the following car moves by itself as the vehicle smoothly follows the lead truck around the country road test track.

The driver is able to drink coffee or read a paper, using neither hand nor foot to operate his vehicle.

Platooning is designed to improve road safety, since it rules out the

Once in the platoon, drivers can relax and do other things while the platoon proceeds towards its long-haul destination.

human factor that is the cause of at least 80 per cent of the road accidents, saves fuel consumption and thus CO2 emissions by up to 20 per cent, and is also convenient for the driver because it frees up time for other matters than driving. Since the vehicles will travel in highway speed with only a few meters gap, platooning may also relieve traffic congestion.

The technology development is well under way and can most likely go into production in a few years time. What may take substantially longer are the public acceptance and the legislation where 25 EU governments must pass similar laws.

Look: no hands!

Testing of the SARTRE systems at the Volvo Testing Grounds in Sweden autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 21

22 | FEBRUARY 2011 autoguide

news

Renault reveals Wind Roadster Gordini Following the successful launch of the Twingo and Clio Gordini models, Renault’s stylish Wind Roadster is the next to receive the ‘French touch’, expanding the coupé-roadster range with a version

featuring the finest equipment available on the chic two-seater.

This is a true driver’s car, shod with 17-inch black diamond alloy wheels.

It features Malta blue bodywork with trademark twin white stripes, Glacier white door mirrors, grille trim and rear wing, and a gloss black roof. A badge marked with a “G” completes the Gordini look.

Wind Roadster Gordini also places

particular emphasis on interior design.

The cabin features special Gordini black and blue leather upholstery, blue and white door straps and a blue leather steering wheel with the signature white stripes on the centreband. A leather gear lever gaiter and polished metal gearknob bearing the Gordini name complete the look.

But first and foremost, the Gordini name expresses a community spirit

that has travelled down the years.

Just as Gordini drivers of the 1960s and 1970s flashed their headlamps as a sign of recognition when they met on the road, so the modern Gordini community meets up on social networks. In an innovative move by Renault, they were the first to receive news of the Wind Roadster Gordini reveal with a teaser posted on the Gordini fan page on Facebook on 31 January.

Citroën Racing enters the third dimension The entry of the DS3 WRC in the 2011 World Rally Championship opens a new chapter in the history of the French make. The Citroën Total World Rally Team’s aim is win its seventh Manufacturer’s World Title. To achieve this, it has entered two crews: Sébastien Loeb-Daniel Elena, gunning for their eighth drivers’ world title on the trot, and Sébastien Ogier-Julien Ingrassia, who have been promoted to the works outfit full time after scoring two victories in 2010.

Three more Citroën DS3 WRCs will be driven by privateers: Petter

Solberg, Kimi Räikkönen and Peter van Merksteijn.

Citroën Racing, which has been involved in top-level world rallying for ten years, is giving the DS3 WRC its third World Rally car its debut after the Xsara and the C4, which racked up three world titles each.

The Citroën DS3 WRC is a synthesis of Creative Technology that complies with the new regulations drawn up by the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA).

The DS3 WRC is more compact than the C4. The car is powered by a 1.6-litre turbocharged direct

injection four-cylinder engine designed in-house by Citroën Racing. It is coupled to four-wheel drive transmission with a manually

controlled sequential gearbox and with a constant power sharing system between the front and rear axles.

All-new Ford Fiesta RS world rally car unveiled Ford’s all-new Fiesta RS World Rally Car was revealed in its 2011-specification last month when the company unveiled the colour scheme that is to adorn the car in the FIA World Rally Championship.

Team driver Mikko Hirvonen and

Ford of Europe motorsport chief Gerard Quinn unveiled the livery for the eye-catching Fiesta RS WRC at the Autosport International Racing Car Show in Birmingham. Ford’s official WRC squad for 2011 also confirmed its new name and logo

– it will compete as the Ford Abu Dhabi World Rally Team.

Title partner Abu Dhabi will continue its support in 2011. The team will also be sponsored by Castrol.

“Ford’s designers and product development engineers have worked closely and efficiently alongside the expertise of our partners at M-Sport. The aim was, of course, to produce a car capable of challenging for world championship titles, but one which also reflects the much-admired ‘kinetic design’ styling cues synonymous with Ford’s current road vehicles,” said Quinn. Ford’s WRC challenger, derived from the

best-selling Fiesta road car, has been developed by Ford of Europe and British-based rally partner M-Sport. It is based on the Fiesta S2000 rally car, which won the Monte Carlo Rally in January 2010 and other international and national rallies during the season.

The Fiesta RS WRC will form part of a new era in the world championship, for which a revised, cost-effective formula was introduced this season. It boasts four-wheel drive transmission and a 1.6-litre turbocharged engine, based on the new Ford EcoBoost road vehicle power plant, to comply with the new regulations.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 23

news

McLaren, TAG Heuer launch MP4-12C Chronograph Twenty years after McLaren launched the iconic McLaren F1 road car, and 26 years after McLaren’s Formula 1 team joined forces with TAG Heuer, a unique, limited edition chronograph watch was launched last month alongside the McLaren MP4-12C at the TAG Heuer Mastering Speed Exhibition at Halle Secheron, Geneva.

The TAG Heuer MP4-12C Chronograph combines both companies’ innovative, highperformance and precision manufacturing principles.

In 2011, McLaren Automotive will deliver the first in its new range of bespoke, ‘pure’ McLaren sports cars, offering new levels of performance based on bespoke technology, a revolutionary carbon chassis and integration with Formula 1: a combination never before presented in a road car.

The TAG Heuer MP4-12C Chronograph matches in its characteristics the unique colour, materials and design of the new 12C, from the carbon dial to the watch’s movement, the tachymeter to the Titanium case, with the McLaren speed mark logo on the watch’s crown.

That focus will be matched on the 12C driver’s wrist as McLaren Automotive and TAG Heuer have combined forces to design a watch suitable for owners of one of the world’s most innovative sports cars.

The TAG Heuer MP4-12C Chronograph will be produced as a limited edition of 1,000 pieces and will be exclusively available for purchase through McLaren later in 2011.

Mitsubishi i-MiEV goes on sale in 14 European countries Last month the European-spec Mitsubishi i-MiEV new-generation electric vehicle went on sale in 14 European countries.

Mitsubishi Motors Corporation began production of the i-MiEVs for Europe from October of last year. Three months after starting shipment, about 2,500 units were shipped, including the Peugeot iOn and Citroën C-ZERO models.

Currently, the i-MiEV is attracting high attention in Mitsubishi Motors Europe’s territory. In addition to the first 14 countries the car is to be sold in, there have been requests to introduce the i-MiEV from Finland, Serbia, Turkey and Slovenia.

In response to these requests, MMC plans to ship units to these countries in the near future, making the European countries the i-MiEV

introduced further within Mitsubishi Motors Europe’s territory.

will be sold in to 18. Later on, the i-MiEV shall be sequentially

Peugeot’s RCZ wins Top Gear award The Peugeot RCZ is the Top Gear magazine ‘Coupé of the Year’ 2010.

The UK’s best selling automotive magazine took its assessment of the RCZ to the extreme by road testing it in northern China in the proximity of the Great Wall, the first time the Peugeot RCZ has been in the world’s largest car market.

In appreciating the many virtues of the Peugeot RCZ, the magazine reports: “The Peugeot RCZ is a beautifully balanced car, easy to drive quickly. Low and wide, it always feels completely on your side, gripping hard, resorting to understeer only

at the limit. The Peugeot RCZ is positioned as a small, sophisticated GT, and fills it perfectly.”

The Peugeot RCZ was launched last June and has proved to be a great success with over 2,000 cars

sold in the UK. It is available with a choice of three engines – a 200 bhp or 156 bhp THP turbo-charged petrol engine and a 163 bhp HDi diesel engine.

Other accolades bestowed on the Peugeot RCZ include ‘The most Beautiful Car of the Year 2009’ by over 100,000 online voters from 62 countries at the 25th International Automobile Festival, Auto Express magazine’s Best Coupé of the year and readers’ Design Award, and Diesel Car magazine’s Best Sports Car of the Year 2010.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 25

promotional news

Toyota prices lowest ever The Aygo, Yaris and Auris were developed to the highest standards of quality, safety and cuttingedge design, with modern, fresh exterior lines.

Michael Debono Ltd is offering the popular Toyota Yaris, Auris and Aygo models at the lowest rates they have ever been. With prices starting from €9,845 for the Aygo, €12,595 for the Yaris and €17,995 for the Auris,

the company is confident there is a new Toyota that suits clients’ needs and budgets. In addition, all clients benefiting from the Scrappage Scheme will get up to €2,000 as a further discount on these rates.

Michael Debono Ltd marketing manager Jonathan Cremona explained that the company is doing its utmost to bring a great car brand to the Maltese population at unbeatable prices” He added: “When purchasing a Toyota, the client is getting peace

of mind thanks to the outstanding after sales service Michael Debono Ltd offer.

We have also revised our Service prices and are now offering a chauffeur service to all clients servicing their Toyota at our centre – you bring your car and we’ll give you a lift to work and will pick you up as well.”

Visit the Toyota showroom in Mdina Road, Zebbug, go to www.toyota.com.mt or follow ToyotaMalta on Facebook.

The new KIA Sportage unveiled The all-new KIA Sportage was officially launched in the local market earlier this month at an event held at the Easysell-KIA showroom in Qormi.

The stunning Crossover Utility Vehicle was unveiled after an introduction by the Easysell-KIA director, Matthew Fenech. He expressed his confidence in the KIA brand, being the only one giving its customers an impressive, industry leading seven-year warranty. He also pointed out the various awards the all-new KIA Sportage won, including

top safety ratings from independent and reliable sources. The Sportage swept everyone away with its beautiful design and dynamic looks.

Mr. Fenech promised that the exciting new model has much more than just good looks and invites all those interested for a test drive to experience its driving pleasure and luxury.

The Sportage is available in various specifications and can be viewed at the Easysell-KIA showroom in Qormi.

Alloygator rim protectors and Summit replacement mirrors Avoid scratching your alloy wheels with Alloygator rim protectors. They look unobtrusive, snapping onto the rim, and are specifically designed to protect alloy wheels from expensive, unsightly kerb damage. They are sold in sets of four and are available in black, silver, red, blue, yellow,

pink, green and white. If you have broken your door-mounted rear view mirror Spal have a full range of replacement mirrors for all makes of cars starting from €9.95.

Phone: 21442507. www.gruppetta.com

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 27

promotional news

Drive Less and Pay Less with Citadel Insurance As an addition to its portfolio of insurance products specifically designed to suit its customers’ needs,

Citadel Insurance launches the Limited Mileage motor insurance policy. The product is intended for drivers whose annual car mileage does not exceed 3,500km and have 4 claim-free years.

Other terms and conditions apply.

The Limited Mileage motor insurance policy caters for persons who do not use their car on a daily basis or use their car for short trips, and

ultimately spend less time on the road. Citadel believes that clients should not pay high premiums for cars which are used less frequently and therefore its Limited Mileage motor insurance policy carries a lower premium cost when compared to a standard motor insurance policy. For more information about the Limited Mileage motor insurance policy contact Citadel Insurance on

freephone 8007 2322 or visit their Customer Services Office in Floriana, any one of their Branch Offices or Tied Insurance Intermediaries, or log on to www.citadelplc.com Citadel Insurance p.l.c. is a company authorised to carry on general and long term business of insurance and is regulated by the Malta Financial Services Authority.

Your comprehensive cleaning solution German car care specialist Sonax has launched a new product of benefit for all motorists, enabling their cars to retain their value, while giving greater driving pleasure.

Sonax Xtreme Shampoo 2 in 1 makes it even easier for you to give your car a thorough clean since apart from a car wash it has a ‘built-in’ drier.

Using this innovative concentrated car shampoo and water removes even the most stubborn dirt, without having to re-apply hard wax after each car wash. Rinse it off with clean water for a perfectly clean finish.

The protective film remains on the paintwork and you save yourself the task of leathering off.

Sonax suggests you always work from the top down, constantly wringing out the sponge and removing the attaching dirt. If possible, do not stir up the particles of dirt that collect at the bottom of the bucket! After washing the car, add a capful of “Wash & Dry” to a watering can or a bucket of

clean water and spread it over the entire car. The visible drying effect is truly amazing. The water runs off without leaving any residues on the glass or paintwork.

INSURANCE

MEMBERSHIP

VEHICLE & PERSONAL

INCENTIVES & DISCOUNTS

EUROPEAN ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE

FOUR SERVICES UNDER ONE COVER RMF offers roadside assistance which includes Vehicle Membership, Personal Membership, a unique product from RMF, European Roadside Assistance, and now Insurance cover. In addition RMF offers discounts and benefits to its members with the RMF/ARC Incentive Scheme.

JOIN RMF TODAY Purchase an RMF Vehicle Membership and get a FREE First Aid Kit worth €12

OR

Purchase an RMF Personal Membership and get a FREE 3 in 1 Warning Triangle, Visibility Vest and First Aid Kit worth €20 (essential for all motorists).

These items are also available for sale. Call or visit our website for details.

Guardamangia Hill, Pieta, PTA 1313, Malta Tel: (+356) 2122 5536, (+356) 2124 2222 Email: info@rmfmalta.com

www.rmfmalta.com RMF Limited has been enrolled by Atlas Insurance PCC Ltd. as a tied insurance intermediary and is regulated by the Malta Financial Services Authority Enrolment No. C8148

OFF VAL ERS ID END TILL MAR OF CH 201 1

interview

Keeping it fresh autoguide interviews Top Gear’s James May words by Malcolm J NAUDI

James May, one of the presenters of Top Gear, took part in a conference call with journalists from around the world at the start of a new season of the iconic BBC programme.

see the whole world through cars and the fact that there’s some good creative needle between us. I think that’s what really makes the show gallop along.”

Asked about his recollections of his visit to Malta, May said he was here only for a day for a car launch and said he would look into the possibility of visiting the island for the Valletta Grand Prix in May. May sees Top Gear more as family entertainment than being a show for men. ”We’re delighted that women watch it and you get some women who are very into cars and you get some blokes who aren’t,” he observed.

The dynamics of the three presenters, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and himself, are he said a combination of mutual loathing and pity. ”I just think Jeremy is hopeless and he thinks I am hopeless; I think Richard is bad tempered and he thinks I am an old git; and so it goes on.

”I think the secret of the show is obviously something very complicated, because it eludes us and I’m at a loss to explain it, but I think it’s really a combination of the perversity of three blokes who

”It is a resigned acceptance of each other’s failings, and we do have quite big ones, let’s be honest. Obviously, we tolerate them. Otherwise we wouldn’t be able to work together.

It is quite a playground. If you can find the thing that annoys Richard Hammond – I found something about him recently that winds him up, so I just put a big centre punch on

it and belt it with a massive hammer – it is terrific fun.”

Clarkson, too, was an easy target for insults. ”He would bang on for hours and hours, and then you have to say one or two things and he goes off looking a bit sheepish.”

Top Gear, May said, had evolved from a pure magazine programme to ”an elaborate, slapstick sitcom with a car theme”. Everyone gets involved with the scriptwriting. ”The most challenging thing about Top Gear is keeping it fresh, but also the ideas are now becoming so much more complicated and so much bigger that it takes more time to make fewer programmes. ”We used to make 10 or 11 programmes in a series; now we make six or seven, but it is actually taking about one and a half times as long.”

May recalled that his best experience on any TV show was the U-2 flight.

It was a very rare privilege. On Top Gear, it was going to the North Pole. ”It was quite gruelling doing it. I had to share a tent with Jeremy and he is not really very hygienic, you know. ”I have really enjoyed some of our drives, like going across the desert in the Middle East, driving across America (and) driving across Botswana. I like those epic drives that remind me what the beauty of the car is, that you can get in it, go somewhere and it can be a very long way away, and it will sustain you through all that. ”The older and the more knackered the car is, the more I really enjoy it.

I have a great fondness for clapped out cars because they give you an adventure that you don’t really get in the new one that you know will just work properly.”

Another May observation was that he was starting to get recognised in more parts of the world in the past three or four years, which he enjoys, although it means saying ‘hello’ to more people.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 31

interview ”For some reason we thought nobody would know who we were in Syria,” he said. ”I don’t know why we thought that exactly, because there’s no reason why they wouldn’t watch it any more than people in Germany, but because it’s a very different culture in a very different part of the world in a very different environment – we’re in deserts and so on – we thought Top Gear can’t mean anything here. But as it turns out it does sadly, and they do watch it, so I was pleasantly surprised.”

The best car he has ever driven remains his Citroën AX GT of 1991, now in a museum, considering everything including the cost and maintenance. The most exciting cars he has driven recently were the Ferrari 458 and Bugatti Veyron Super Sport (in which he carried out a successful top speed test drive of 407 km/h – 253 mph). He found the new Rolls Royce Ghost absolutely fabulous and wouldn’t mind owning one.

Having driven with former Formula 1 world champion Mika Hakkinen, May said he did learn a few things, like holding opposite lock and power slides through wooden skittles. He found Hakkinen extremely funny with a talent for saying a lot of things

just with his face. He clearly misses competitive racing ”because he got very excited about that when we were in the car going around the track and I could see his face shining a bit. I get the impression that he would like to go out there and that he would probably still be pretty competitive as well.”

The Top Gear Live experience changes from country to country.

The basic ingredients are the same –

it’s like the television programme but on the stage. ”There are differences, because it’s constrained by a stage, but the essence of it is still the three blokes mucking about and doing some silly things with cars. That is mixed in with some serious driving, which is done by other people because we can’t really be trusted with that, so there’s the stunt driving team (to) do the difficult bits, and then us three come on and do the bits where we fall over.”

Top Gear airs every Monday at 7.30pm on Melita More, channel 802 on Melita TV.

Top Gear stats • The Facebook pages of Top Gear and The Stig have a combined membership of over10 million.

• The Top Gear Channel on YouTube has had over 100 million video views.

• The series has sold to over 170 territories around the world.

• Top Gear Live the World Tour launched in London in 2008 to sold out shows.

• BBC in the UK is now broadcasting Series 16.

• There are 24 licensed editions of the Magazine. Including international editions Top Gear magazine has a global circulation of 1 million.

• Top Gear held the no. 1 TV programme position for its 1st week on iTunes US.

• In 2007 Top Gear also announced a VoD and gaming deal with Sony Gran Turismo, the world’s leading racing game franchise. This deal saw the Top Gear test track included in GT5 alongside some of the most renowned racing circuits in the world.

GTTV is now available in 56 countries.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 33

concept cars

Geneva preview

compiled by Malcolm J. Naudi

While motor shows are the main focus for many concept launches, Ferrari have taken the unconventional approach of launching their new model concept on their website. Watch out for it in Geneva next month.

Website launch for Ferrari FF The first photographs of the new FF, Ferrari’s most powerful, versatile four-seater ever, as well as its first ever four-wheel drive car, were revealed last month on Ferrari.com.

Designed by Pininfarina, the shape and proportions perfectly interpret the FF’s harmonious blend of sporting DNA and extraordinary usability.

The FF – an acronym for Ferrari Four (four seats and four-wheel drive) – ushers in an entirely new GT sports car concept. A decisive break with the past, the new car represents not so much an evolution as a true revolution.

The FF features Ferrari’s exclusive, patented 4RM (four-wheel drive), which weighs 50 per cent less than a conventional fourwheel drive system, maintaining perfect weight distribution (53 per cent over the rear axle).

This new V12 melds to an unprecedented level an extremely sporty, high-performance character with incredible versatility, superb comfort and sophisticated elegance, guaranteeing both driver and passengers an absolutely unique driving experience.

Completely integrated with the car’s electronic dynamic control systems, the four-wheel drive technology delivers record levels of performance on all terrains and in all conditions via continuous and intelligent predictive torque distribution to all four wheels.

ferrari ff The FF is also equipped with the latest magnetorheological damping system (SCM3), as well as the most recent development in carbonceramic brakes from Brembo.

Exceptional performance levels come courtesy of the new 6,262 cc direct injection engine which develops 660 bhp at 8,000 rpm.

In tandem with its transaxle dual-clutch F1 gearbox, stunning

acceleration figures (0-100 km/h in 3.7 seconds) are guaranteed.

The new model’s class-leading power-to-weight ratio of 2.7 kg/ bhp, along with its ideal weight distribution, ensures exceptionally responsive handling. Owners will therefore be able to enjoy the FF in a wide range of uses: city driving, on low grip or snow-covered surfaces and on the track.

First Caterham sports prototype racer iconic British engineering brand, Lola Cars, the aesthetically-sensitive sports prototype will also feature the debut of Caterham Motorsport’s new supercharged version of the Ford Duratec power plant, expected to produce around 300 bhp.

CATERHAM-LOLA SP/300.R Caterham Cars has opened an exciting new chapter in its 50-year history with the release of its first ever sports prototype racing car for a new one-make series and the trackday community. Unveiled at the Autosport International Show in Birmingham, UK, the Caterham-Lola

SP/300.R is a major new addition to sit alongside the legendary Seven, yet remains true to its lightweight, minimalist DNA to deliver all the thrills of driving a fast, but confidence-inspiring sportscar.

Created in partnership with another

Caterham is in the final stages of development of the powertrain and handling characteristics of the car, in readiness for a one-make championship to start in 2012, while the feasibility of a roadlegal version of the car is also being considered.

Only 25 SP/300.Rs will be manufactured each year, allowing Caterham to focus on enhancing

the build quality of every vehicle and maximising its renowned one-to-one customer service.

The car will provide the ‘top end’ natural progression for Caterham’s already successful domestic and international racing ‘ladder’. It will also provide the blossoming premium trackday community – both home and abroad - with a potent new model.

Bearing subtle design cues from the Seven, the first new model from Caterham since the 21 road car reproduces the company’s core motorsport values of affordability, reliability and accessibility.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 35

36 | FEBRUARY 2011 autoguide

concept cars

Lexus sporting concepts The world’s largest custom car show celebrated the sporting side of Lexus last month with five tuned and modified cars on display at the Tokyo Auto Salon.

Even though its public launch is still a few months away, the new CT 200h was revealed in special F-Sport guise, with an array of sporting accessories, including alloy wheels, a body kit by Modellista and Recaro sports seats.

It was joined by two new versions of the ultra-high performance IS F: the CCS-R (Circuit Club Sport Racer) and Club Performance Accessory.

The CCS-R is true to the tradition of lightweight track saloons, featuring carbon fibre body panels, including front and rear spoilers, bonnet and boot lid, and a new frameless construction roll cage

and polycarbonate windows. Inside there’s further extensive use of carbon fibre for the dashboard, centre console and door trims, while the racing details extend to a six-point safety harness and short-diameter steering wheel with paddle shifts.

The car is performance-engineered, too, with racing suspension, brakes, cooling and exhaust, plus a mechanical limited-slip differential and forged alloys shod with slick tyres.

TRD (Toyota Racing Department) has created the IS F Club Performance Accessory, giving the most powerful member of the IS family an even bolder appearance with spoilers fore and aft, a rear diffuser and a carbon fibre hood.

Again, more carbon fibre material is

LEXUS CT 200H used in the cabin, along with sports seats finished in bright orange.

Sports suspension and brakes, a titanium exhaust, magnesium wheels and a mechanical LSD complete the package.

Gazoo Racing presented its racing version of the Lexus LFA supercar, which enjoyed success at last year’s Nürburgring 24 Hours race, and TOM’s offered a new interpretation of the LS 460 limousine.

Kia KV7 a vision for the MPV segment urban crossover to create a unique, alluring design language that brings SUV-like qualities to the segment.

The lounge-like interior is accessed by a striking passenger-side gullwing door which, when opened with the pillar-less front passenger door, provides extraordinarily convenient access. It also allows the vehicle to open up to the outside world, with a tabletop computer and lounge-like seating, and become the sociable hub of an outdoor event.

Kia Motors’ design-led transformation has delivered eye-catching vehicles like the Soul, Sorento and Sportage that bear strong resemblances to the concept cars that preceded them. Last month the brand’s California design studio unveiled its latest design statement – the KV7 concept – at the 2011 North American International Auto Show.

Conceived as a modern-day ‘activity MPV’, the KV7 was designed to challenge the notion that MPVs are

strictly for family transportation.

KV7 reveals a vision for a vehicle with the functionality to transport a large number of people, and their belongings, while also serving as a connected social hub for groups of friends and adventure-seekers.

The KV7 concept’s design stands in sharp contrast to the dramatically raked windshields and wedgeshaped noses found throughout the MPV segment, and builds on the philosophy of ‘embracing the box’ established by the Kia Soul

Paired with an A-pillar and windscreen design that is less vertical than traditional MPVs, KV7’s wide stance, its smooth exterior skin

and 20-inch wheels exude a modern appearance while projecting the confidence and strength of an SUV. The K7 is 4,873 mm long, 2,033 mm wide, 1,729 mm high and has a wheelbase of 3,100 mm.

The final element that separates the KV7 concept from the rest of the MPV crowd is under the bonnet – the concept is powered by Kia’s new Theta II 2.0-litre GDI turbocharged engine. Capable of delivering up to 285 hp and mated to a six-speed automatic transmission, it delivers V6-type power and performance while enhancing fuel efficiency.

kia kv7

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 37

rmf road safety tips

IF YOUR CAR BREAKS DOWN (OR RATHER WHEN YOUR CAR BREAKS DOWN) Every motorist will eventually have a breakdown experience.

When you have one, make sure to follow RMF's step-by step instructions to avoid turning a simple breakdown into an accident.

Try to stop your vehicle on the far left of the road as close as you can get to the pavement.

Switch on your hazard warning lights immediately.

Open the back boot to make your vehicle more visible and if you have a florescent vest wear it immediately.

Get your passengers to leave the main road via the closest exit.

As soon as possible you and your passengers must evacuate the car from the left doors to get straight on the pavement.

Place your warning triangle 75 meters behind your vehicle and on the same lane your car broke down.

Phone RMF on 2124 2222 to inform them that you have broken down Stay on the pavement at least 10 meters behind your vehicle and wait for assistance.

If your vehicle stopped in a precarious position, wave your hand up and down to draw the attention of oncoming motorists.

Tunnels are the most dangerous place to be in if your car breaks down.

From RMF in-house statistics we have learned that one out of every seven breakdowns in tunnels ends up being a serious accident.

If you are unfortunate to break down in a tunnel, we advise you to follow these instructions without hesitation.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

First of all do not PANIC. Switch on the hazard warring lights immediately and ensure that your sidelights are ON. Try getting your car out of the tunnel. If this is impossible, try stopping the car on the far left of the road – closest to the pavement.

If the nature of the breakdown is a simple puncture, do not stop the vehicle inside the tunnel but proceed slowly out of the tunnel to a safe place.

(Better to ruin your tyre than have worse consequences).

As soon as possible you and your passengers must evacuate the car from the left doors to get straight on the pavement.

Open the back boot to make it more visibility and if you have a florescent vest wear it immediately.

7.

Get your passengers to exit the tunnel via the closest exit and advise them to stay away from the main road and on the pavement.

8. Place your warning triangle 75 meters behind your vehicle and on the same lane your car broke down.

9. Use the pavement to exit the tunnel in the direction of oncoming traffic while waving your hand up and down to draw the attention of oncoming motorists.

Remain at the entrance of the tunnel and continue signalling oncoming motorists until assistance arrives.

10. First phone the police on 112 and then RMF on 2124 2222 to inform them that you have broken down in a tunnel and you need their prompt assistance to control the dangerous situation.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 39

motors in the movies

Simply, the Delorean words by MICHAEL SPITERI “If you’re gonna build a time-machine into a car, why not do it with some style?”

The Delorean DMC-12 is the only model manufactured by the illfated Delorean Motor Company.

It was supposed to fully embody the spirit of the coming decade, the 80s, but things went dreadfully wrong. Still, a semi-mad scientist found its uniqueness ideal and made the Delorean the coolest time-machine of, well, all time. ”If you’re gonna build a timemachine into a car,” explains Dr Emmet Brown (Christopher Lloyd) in Back to the Future (1985), ”why not do it with some style?”

The film concerns Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), a teenager who travels back 30 years to see his parents as teenagers. The premise is a fine example of the frivolous entertainment that was welcome during the 80s, when fun and eyepleasing were the order of the day.

To this end, the time-machine aesthetics were crucial. The first draft of the screenplay described a chamber, something along the lines of a hi-tech refrigerator. The

filmmakers switched to a car to make space travel plausible and, since it had to be mistaken for an alien spaceship, the Delorean DMC-12 was the perfect choice.

The Delorean Motor Company was the grandiose dream of John Zachary Delorean, an American engineer who was for the automotive industry what a rock-star is to music. His charisma and showmanship gave him such an edge that superiors turned a blind eye to his unconventional behavior and dandy appearance. At 40, John Delorean became the youngest ever head of division at General Motors. At 47, he was vice-president, and there were rumours he would replace Ed Cole at the top. In 1973, unexpectedly, he resigned, claiming he was fed up with the corporation’s conservative culture. The media rose in frenzy.

What was the man behind the Pontiac GTO; the forefather of American supercars up to? John Delorean was wealthy; he could just do nothing, enjoy life. But, he was too young and too restless for that. He set out to build a new breed of sports car. A robust and efficient machine, which would be

flashy and modern too, in short; a machine made in his image.

To accomplish such a feat, he recruited a former colleague, engineer William T. Collins, for help and commissioned Giorgetto Guigiaro’s Italdesign for exteriors.

By 1976, an incomplete but running prototype existed. The pending implementations, however, were only theoretically possible. The Elastic Molding Reservoir that was supposed to form a plastic body structure, for instance, was only in the testing stages. It would never become feasible. By 1978, Lotus founder Colin Chapman was approached for additional help to start producing. In the meantime, Delorean struck profitable deals with the British government. He agreed to build manufacturing facilities in Northern Ireland, where unemployment was soaring.

They agreed to invest heavily in his enterprise. Production was announced for late 1979.

Pre-orders accumulated. The anticipation was sky-high.

Then, things fell apart. Collins left due to discord with the Lotus team, who

were drastically behind schedule.

Eventually, production started, but only in 1981. The Delorean DMC12, when compared with other GTs (high performance luxury cars) in its price category, underperformed.

In essence, it was too heavy.

Consequently, sales were not as dazzling as forecasted. By early 1982, the company owed $20 million.

John Delorean lobbied creditors and government officials while searching desperately for further investments to save his company. Within months, he was arrested on a charge of conspiring to sell $24 million worth of cocaine. The facility was shut down immediately after. Three years prior to Back to the Future, the company had gone bankrupt. It ceased operations after just 8,500 cars.

Truth be told, apart from the 90 degree V6, 2.8-litre PRV engine, a hybrid from the collaboration of Peugeot, Renault and Volvo, few items survived from the original prototype. The entire underbody, for example, derives from the Lotus Esprit as is evident in the independent suspension and the double-Y chassis. Nevertheless, the DMC-12 is a terrific smooth ride,

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 41

motors in the movies

Facts MICHAEL J FOX albeit a heavy one. Remarkably, most of the 8,500 are still in circulation 25 years later. John Delorean may have failed, but he had seen right. The true strength of a car is not so much the performance but the appearance. The exteriors are the source of the DMC-12’s unique personality. The fiberglass understructure with stainless steel panels as outer skin and, above all else, the gull-wing doors with cryogenically preset torsion bars are as unconventional and dandy as a car can ever inspire to be.

And, nothing can take that away.

It was chosen for Back to the Future because of the looks. So, it became an icon, venerated by diehard fans because of them. New companies spawned in support; one in Texas boasts the largest remaining stock of original parts. The car is now known simply as the Delorean. It withstood the test of time and not just in the guise of a fictional time-machine.

•

•

•

•

Before General Motors, John Delorean worked for Chrysler and The Packard Motor Company.

Colin Chapman successfully transferred aeronautical engineering techniques to cars. His team dominated motor racing for almost two decades, winning 7 F1 constructors’ and 6 F1 drivers’ championships.

With Jim Clark behind the wheel, Lotus triumphed even at Indianapolis.

•

John Delorean always said that the DMC-12 was only just the beginning.

•

It has been demonstrated that the Delorean’s elevating doors need less clearance to open than traditional sidehinged doors.

•

Ultimately, John Delorean was never convicted of any crime.

•

Filmmakers Robert Zemeckis and Bob Hope, respectively director and writer of Back to the Future, received a heartfelt letter from John Delorean thanking them for, in a way, making his dream a reality.

The Delorean’s stainless steel (SS304) body is notoriously hard to restore or repair.

John Zachary Delorean died on March 19, 2005, at 80. As a true rebel, he was buried in blue jeans and a black biker jacket.

•

In 2008, William T. Collins admitted that, given the pressure, Lotus had done an amazing job on the DMC-12.

JOHN DELOREAN •

Industrialists like Henry Kaiser agree that to launch a new car company is so difficult; one can say it is impossible. Malcolm Schade, who represented the British government during the bankruptcy proceedings, claimed that if John Delorean had survived the 1982 crisis, he would have succeeded.

•

Apart from the Delorean, Giorgetto Giugiaro designed cars for among others: Alfa Romeo, Audi, BMW, Bugatti, Lamborghini, Mazda, Porsche and Ferrari. He was deemed as the greatest car designer of the last century.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 43

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driving abroad

An overland trip from UK to Malta Award-winning international yacht skipper David Pizzuto recounts his turbulent overland trip in a Jeep I have an iPhone 4 with all the latest apps, I’ve been to Genoa a hundred times and had updated my GPS before I left, the outlet was difficult to locate and I gave up.

I bought a Jeep locally last December and, after seeing it, a friend of mine bought one exactly like it on eBay a fortnight later. He then asked me to accompany him on the journey since I had done it before.

Not being bothered by anything extreme, like the weather, I agreed.

Probably if I was going to drive down a normal, two-wheel drive car, I would have thought otherwise.

However, I learned that this car, which I had tried out for two weeks in Malta, was built for any extreme condition. In fact, the more extreme the condition was, the more the car seems to enjoy it.

When we got to London, everything was snowbound. We were probably the only plane to get in during that 48 hours. We were lucky to land. We tried to get a taxi to Surrey, but we couldn’t. We tried to get a bus, but none were available. We needed to go to Woking. The first guy I asked said: ‘You must be Woking joking!’

Eventually, we took a train.

This initial trip that was meant to take us half an hour took us four or five hours. When we got there, everything was completely snowbound. Eventually, we met the seller, did the deal, paid him and off we went. By this time it was 2 or 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

So we went on the motorway and headed for the Chunnel.

Because there was so much bad weather, there weren’t actually a lot of cars on the road. There was no snow on the motorway but on the side roads there was very deep snow.

So we selected four-wheel drive, which made the car feel even sturdier in the snow and drove normally at around 100 km/h-120 km/h.

It was a bit of a mistake to take the Chunnel, in retrospect. Since there were so many people who were

So, we headed out of the city, set the GPS and drove all the way down to Cosenza in the south of Italy in one day. We found a really nice hotel right in the centre of town – small with huge Italian rooms. We went out to have a fantastic Italian meal and settled for the night.

scared to take a ferry because of the bad weather there were big queues for the Chunnel, which was more expensive than the ferry.

So, next time, for me, it’s definitely the ferry. In fact, when I had done my first car trip, I had taken the ferry and it was much faster.

After waiting for around two hours, the actual trip took about half an hour. We then drove to Paris.

When we arrived, it was around 1 a.m. and we went out to Buddha Bar, staying out till about 4 a.m., having a dinner and just enjoying it.

We then decided to go to a drive-in motel. My car GPS flagged a lot of hotels on the highway but, every time we got to one, we realised first of all that it was a completely automated system – no humans around, no reception. You put in your card, make your selection – room, breakfast, and whatever – it takes your money, issues a ticket. You got to the front door, put in your ticket and you get to your room.

The only thing was that after we spent quite some time inputting our data, the ticket would never come out. The whole thing was frozen up.

By the end of it, you lose your sense of sleep and I told Neil, ‘Why don’t we just drive to Genoa?’

Genoa was our next stop. ‘You sleep, I drive; when I’m tired, we change over.’ That is what we did.

We stopped at a petrol station to get some coffee and, having set the route on the GPS, which was fantastic, off we drive through France and the Swiss Alps. One thing that kept us back was the snow ploughs. They do about 60 km/h, you can’t overtake them and they are throwing salt and clearing the snow. Whenever we met one, we would stop, refuel, eat and relax for an hour and then be off again.

We did see a few crashes en route, but we went straight through, driving at an average 160 km/h. You really only lose time when you stop, when you sleep and when you go into a city. Consumption was also good at around 27-28 mpg (10.1-10.5 litres/100 km) for the size of engine.

On our way down to Genoa we called home and asked them to book a hotel there. When we arrived we realised that they had sent us to the pits of Genoa.

But there was parking and we decided to stay. We went out for dinner, slept and took off.

Before we left, we tried to do some shopping. We were looking for a specific item, but although

I looked for the outlet for this item in Cosenza but when I found the shop it was closed since it was a Monday. It took us three hours to get out of Cosenza, traffic was so heavy. We then faced the worst part of our route down to Reggio, which was full of container traffic, bad roads, diversions and roadworks.

When we finally got to Reggio, we caught the ferry to Messina and then drove down to Syracuse, where I bought the item I was looking for.

The only mechanical incident we had with the car was on the way down to Cosenza. The water reservoir developed a crack and the water came out. We had to stop on the autostrada with the engine smoking. I called my mechanic in Malta and he instructed me to pour any liquid I had into the reservoir.

We were told to start the engine, put the heater on full on and drive to the nearest petrol station, which luckily was about two miles down the hill. We filled up the reservoir, took two jerrycans just in case and that was enough. In fact we only needed to top it up once and as soon as we got to Malta we changed it.

The next morning we went to Pozzallo to catch the ferry back to Malta – a tranquil journey on flat calm sea, such a contrast from the earlier part of our journey.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 47

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on two wheels

Ducati Diavel headlines at London Motorcycle Show

Ducati gave its stunning new Diavel its London show debut at the Excel earlier this month. words by Malcolm J. Naudi

The Diavel, with its commanding presence, stunning looks and latest in Ducati technology, including ABS, Ducati Traction Control, Ducati Riding Modes and a Superbike-derived Testastretta 11° engine, was a major attraction.

Weighing in at 207 kg, its engine produces 162 hp and 127.5 Nm of torque (pulling power), accelerating to 100 km/h in 2.6 seconds.

The Diavel leads a range of new and updated models introduced for this model year. These include the 1198SP now with Ducati Traction Control (DTC), Ducati Quick Shift (DQS), Ohlins TTX rear suspension, slipper clutch and aluminium fuel tank.

The 1198 also benefits from updates: Traction Control, Ducati Data Analyser and Quick Shifter are all fitted as standard equipment.

colour schemes and ergonomic updates to current members of Ducati’s naked icon.

The 848 EVO joins this impressive and improved Superbike range, now boasting 140 hp, and is equipped with Brembo Monobloc callipers and steering damper. The Evo also sees a new additional paint scheme in stunning arctic white livery with contrasting red wheels and red frame.

The 848 Evo was also on display in race livery to promote the 2011 848 Challenge. This one-make championship is a support series for the British Superbike Championship, visiting five BSB circuits, one New Era round at Castle Combe and two overseas rounds at Assen and Monza. The championship has attracted huge interest already, with 22 riders confirmed with three months still to go before the first flag drops at Brands Hatch on 25 April.

The Monster family welcomes the new 1100 Evo, along with

The Monster 1100 Evo takes its name from the Desmodue Evoluzione engine, which now delivers a milestone 100 hp. The 1100EVO boasts a fully redesigned exhaust system, comfort-enhancing new seat and 20 mm bar-riser, Marzocchi front suspension, refined tailend, bold Corse style graphics and the new Ducati Safety Pack (DSP) consisting of ABS and new 4-level Ducati Traction Control.

The entry level 696 gets new 43 mm Marzocchi forks, 20 mm higher handlebars and a new rear sub-frame designed to accept the user-friendly passenger grab-rail kit and two new colour schemes of “dark stealth“ and “stone white“.

The Monster 796 also adopts Marzocchi front suspension.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 49

accessories

Infotainment and more The wonderful world of aftermarket car products just keeps getting better! words by Maurice Gruppetta All this without touching a button.

Not only that: music can also be played through the cars speakers from the mobile phone; wireless!

How about parking sensors? I remember the first time I saw these was quite some years ago while driving my friend’s car in Japan. At the time, when switched on, they would detect obstacles at each corner of the car to assist manoeuvring when parking.

Now parking sensors can be installed front and rear, which are activated automatically. In some cases, even speed activated.

Fitting an Eight-track to your pride and glory back in the day was sheer amazement: the transition from choosing your own music over listening to what the radio before it had to offer. Well now in-car music has progressed to in-car entertainment and more!

Sometimes even called Infotainment.

Music from practically any source can be played: CD, MP3, SD card, USB, iPod and so on. But that is just the beginning: DVD player, Bluetooth cellular hands-free, including touch dial keypad, navigation information so that you don’t get lost, even rear view camera when engaging reverse gear. These are all available instead of simply having a dull CD Radio in the centre of your dash.

Believe it or not there’s more...

Aftermarket products no longer just make the car look nicer or give higher quality of music, but, more importantly to me, provide much more convenience! Luxuries like electric windows and central locking could be installed to cars that did not come factory equipped.

Through the Eighties and Nineties, German car brands started to introduce convenient features, such as total closure – keeping the key in the lock position would lock all doors and, at the same time, close all windows and the sunroof. This advanced to remote control activation.

The aftermarket brands started providing the same convenience to other cars that did not have this feature, thus giving this more upmarket feel to the enthusiast or to anyone who appreciated this convenience. This opened a whole new world of aftermarket products to compensate for what was not provided from the factory.

In reality, most ideas for aftermarket products began with products that were introduced with new cars. If a car manufacturer offered an innovation on a new model, aftermarket companies would pick up on this. It was then analysed and, if possible, would be produced as an aftermarket gadget. So,

if a rain sensor for the automatic activation of windscreen wipers was introduced on a new car, there was a good chance that some time later it would be available as an aftermarket accessory.

This brings us to what is available today. Many know about remote control locking or even light sensors for automatic lights activation. But aftermarket products have gone way further than that and even make cars much safer too. A perfect example is the mobile phone handsfree kit. This is definitely one of the most convenient gadgets on the market; even better, it contributes to safer driving! Once an outgoing or incoming call is being made, the car stereo is muted while speech is heard through the car’s speakers.

The driver may talk to the other party via a microphone.

A beeper sounds more frequently the closer you get to another car, wall, high pavements, etc., until a continuous beep is heard when you are too close as an indication for you to stop. This may even be complimented with a display to show which sensor is closest to an obstacle and by what distance. In some cases, believe me, they even look better than some factory-fitted sensors.

Yes, these are some things that can be achieved in the aftermarket world. As previously mentioned, it normally starts with OEM (original equipment by manufacturer).

Therefore, just as we already see upmarket cars including night vision in the dash or even radar-activated safety braking watch out for them.

These could be available in the future as aftermarket products.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 51

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autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 53

promotion

leather centre malta

A small but professional outfit words by Gerald J. ZAMMIT – car enthusiast

I got to know Malcolm Camilleri, the proprietor of Leather Centre Malta, a couple of years ago when he was still a one-man band restoring a car seat of a friend of mine who had just finished rebuilding his Fiat X19.

As soon as I saw the completed restoration work, I liked what I saw and immediately asked Malcolm if he would consider restoring the leather interior of one of my cars.

I was very upfront with Malcolm about my request, which meant that I have no intention of bringing the car over if it would take years to get done. It is a weekend car I enjoy driving regularly, so I wanted it done within an acceptable timeframe.

I explained to Malcolm that I was not in any particular hurry, but I needed to know the start date and end date. Malcolm came over to

inspect the car, informed me that he would be stripping its interior at my garage and taking all the removable items to his work place. When we agreed terms, Malcolm came over on the date agreed and the car was ready on the date agreed. This amazed me and I was immensely

SEAT RESTORING before

54 | FEBRUARY 2011 autoguide

after

pleased because normally one has to chase people constantly to get such things done, and anybody who commissions restorations knows what I am talking about.

Today, Malcolm’s team consists of four professional craftsmen, him

included, and following the first car he did for me, my son Matthew and I commissioned another two cars to have the leather interior restored and recently my son commissioned a complete change of upholstery from material to leather and what a fantastic job this turned up to be and within the agreed timeframe.

Leather Centre Malta is a small outfit based in the outskirts of Attard. It specialises in almost anything related to leather. Today the business has expanded its services further and specialises in other fabrics. From leather to other materials, Leather Centre offers a professional and personalised service and has gained international recognition for its craftsmanship and expertise.

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Leather Centre Malta offers a range of specialised services and these include automobiles, yachts, aircraft, antiques, sofas, leather clothing and upholstery services.

nature of the work involved.

You can visit their website www.leathercentremalta.com for a list of satisfied clients and even my testimonials.

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BMW M3 Full interior upholstery before after

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autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 55

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regular

What women really think words by Vanessa MacDonald So here is my list.

The minute a car is available with even one of the features, do let me know…

Men think that they understand women. But the day will come when car advertisers realise that it is not enough to pander to the women who buy their cars by showing us driving through the streets of Paris with fresh bread and flowers on the front seat, or – even worse - by showing us quick glimpses through an open boot, through which we can see the smiling faces of our clean and quiet children, a wicker picnic hamper with matching rug, and a strong virile husband holding the grinning dog.

We want cars that reflect the fact that the kids have been moaning about the picnic since they were dragged screaming from their beds. They see absolutely nothing appealing about sitting on damp grass, or pretending to kick a football around with their dad, while munching on soggy sandwiches that mum wrapped in plastic bags which the dog sat on and flattened, sipping on warm ice tea because the summer cooler box is on the high shelf in the garage with empty plant pots in it, and sitting on newspapers because there is enough laundry as it is without a blanket as well.

The husband has shown perhaps even less enthusiasm because he would much prefer to read his Sunday newspaper at home than with the supposedly gentle

breeze ripping pages out of his grip. He wants a roast with gravy preceded by a slab of lasagna large enough to make the picnic table sag in the middle, and he wants to sleep for an hour in the afternoon so that he can wake up in time to watch the football.

The dog, on the other hand, is all for the picnic as he wants to run, free and unshackled, smelling the exciting and unfamiliar odours of other people’s picnics and peeing against the wheels of new cars.

Which the other people object to so you have to put him on a leash again. But not before he has rolled in the mud.

Men are always asking each other what women want. For a start, it might be helpful if they actually asked us directly as there are generations of men who will testify to how useless it is to allow the blind to lead the blind. Women want different things from their cars and, although men who make adverts think that we are fooled by gravy cube ads showing happy families and detergent ads showing clean floors and – gulp – undertoilet rims where bacteria lurk that have morphed through evolution into purple tadpoles with horns, we actually prefer something useful, something credible.

Rotating wheels In adverts and any film with Matt Damon in it, there are always parking places right where you want them, including outside banks. Duh! We all know that if there is a single parking space available in the whole town, it will be up a one-way road and for some reason, men coming down that road glare at you if you try to reverse down the road to it.

So we want rotating wheels.

Don’t give me that “blonde!” look. I know wheels rotate.

But I want them to rotate laterally so that I can get into a parking space sideways.

and the DVD shop and the drycleaning if you want to without having to put up with a bored kick every 5 seconds.

Air-conditioning vents under which you can dry your nail-polish.

Duh.

Sound synthesizer Women are just as conscious of their image as men. We want some kind of sound synthesizer that let’s us listen to Celine Dion or Dido but which sounds from the outside like Amy Winehouse.

Self-polishing tyres – we have self-cleaning ovens, don’t we?

Duh. An airbag that senses when you are about to insult a warden Forget about protecting us from impact with the dashboard. We need something to protect us from our self-righteous ranting when we get done for parking on a double yellow line and that dickhead doesn’t understand that it is just for two minutes…

Mats that don’t catch your stilettos Duh. Wheel nuts that you can get off without jumping on the lever Duh. A mirror Yes, I know that there is a mirror on the sun-flap but, duh, that makes it rather obvious that we are checking our make-up.

Put the mirror in the middle of the steering wheel.

Steel-backed driver’s seat Those little horrors in the back try to get your attention by kicking the back of your seat.

You should be able to drive home via the supermarket

A set of cue cards that you can flash at people at junctions and roundabouts I would have one that tells the baħnan cutting me up on the roundabout that I was there first and another that points out to the other baħnan that overtaking a line of cars waiting to pull out of a junction by racing up the wrong lane is queue-jumping and that if he would never dream of doing it at the bank or the cinema, he shouldn’t do it on the road either. Of course, if the baħnan is a warden, see 8 above.

autoguide FEBRUARY 2011 | 57

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06/10/2010 15:09