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from the publisher Marlanea McGraw Owner/Publisher
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Serving the community. Teaching our students to live and model the Catholic faith. Remaining structured with the purpose of graduating students who are prepared to persevere.
I am very excited to be writing notes for the first issue of our new magazine, Michigan Parent! The idea has been on my mind for a while, and my staff enthusiastically supported making it a reality. No doubt about it, being a parent is the toughest job in the world. Every day brings new joys and new struggles. As parents, we’re tasked with raising those tiny newborns to adulthood, feeding them, sheltering them, educating them, and shaping them into kind, responsible, moral adults. YIKES! We hope that this publication will help you on this journey by providing information, entertainment, support, encouragement . . . and the occasional much-needed laugh. Our goal is to cover parenting from birth to launching your child into adulthood. In this issue, our topics include guidelines for video game time, promoting family volunteerism, the value of allowing your children to fail, and the dangers of vaping. Read our cover story about Kimball Camp and learn about the focus and programs of this local gem. I want to extend a huge thank you to our advertisers who are investing in this new venture! Please take time to browse the ads as well as the content and support our local businesses whenever you can. They are what makes our magazines possible. So, welcome to Michigan Parent! Steal a few minutes for yourself, settle in, and get acquainted with our “new baby.”
Marlanea
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www.sacredhearthudson.org
I would also like to thank the writers who provide such timely and interesting articles... JaMES CAMPBELL ...................................................... Muscle Up. Live Fit! Melissa Mccance ....................................................... Local Spotlights Sarah Gray ..................................................................... Local Interests Laura rahe .................................................... Legal Advice for Families angie blake ........................................... UPSIDE of Down Syndrome rachel yoder ............................................. Grow Where You’re Planted Stephanie Gordon .......................................................... Local Interests Kimberly Blaker .............................................. Surviving Empty Nest
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CONTENT MUSCLE UP! Live Fit 08
16
Raising active children
Gray Matters. 10
Saying good-bye to the car seat
It is OK to Let Kids Fail UPSIDE of Down Syndrome 12 26 Natural consequences Learning to live with Trisomy 21
Grow Where You’re Planted
Meet the Yoders
Legal Advice 14 28 Limited guardianships
Family Volunteerism Setting Limits 16 30 Get involved in the community On video games
Boy Mom Vaping 18 32 Boy, let me tell you
On the rise among teens
Local Spotlight 20
Hide and Seek study group
Parenting Styles 22 in blended families
Cover Spotlight 24 Kimball Camp
34 Local Spotlight Foster homes needed
36 Kids Heading to College?
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How to survive and embrace it
38 Local Getaways
Camping close to home
40 Home
Creativity-inspired decor
42 Local Spotlight Camp Courage
44 Ask the Doctor Rear-facing child seats
46 Apps
For summer fun
30
On the Cover:
Kimball Camp YMCA in Reading, Michigan, has been helping children create camp memories since 1938. The camp program is designed to foster responsibility, caring, honesty, respect, and how to get along with others. Campers participate in teambuilding exercises that build problem-solving and communication skills. Kimball Camp strives to meet children’s spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. Read more about this beautiful facility and the programs offered on page 24.
Michigan Parent makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising and editorial content, however, does not make any claims as 6 to accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and accepts no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information.
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MUSCLE UP Live Fit By James Campbell
Give your children the gift of being active. There’s a buzz in the air! The youth of the nation are revitalized and eager to begin! Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time of year that school age children everywhere live for, summer vacation! In our house we have a pretty wide range of ages, from one newly-graduated from high school down to second grade. As parents we now have to not only worry about our daily grind, but be consumed by the daily of our youth. In today’s day and age we have this battle of video games and the threat of a sedentary lifestyle. We also have the age-old “Dad, I’m bored!” battle.
It’s a LIFE LESSON to teach our children the importance of being active! 8
My Dad didn’t realize, I don’t think, what he was doing one summer when I was about 13. My brothers and I made the mistake of complaining one too many times of being “bored,” and he decided to fix that. We grew up on a five-acre lot on the outskirts of Jonesville, right next to L&J Lanes. We HAD a riding mower until that summer. My Dad sold it and bought a push mower—not just any push mower, mind you, but the smallest one he could find! Well, we weren’t bored ANY more! By the time we got that baby mowed, we had to start again! We still laugh about that to this day, and whenever I hear one of our kids say “I’m bored” it makes me smile! I’m not telling anyone to go out and buy the smallest push mower available, but I am telling you that it’s important to teach your kids that it’s important . . . NO!! It’s a LIFE LESSON to teach our children the importance of being active! Technology is a doubleedged sword. It’s entertaining and can make life so much easier, but it can also consume us all, especially our youth. They don’t know life without where many of us can recall life with the corded wall phone being state of the art!
Some of the older ages are a little easier when they’re involved in school sports. Shoot, Lucas is doing summer basketball and lifting for football. Though this could create issues for family vacations, it’s great activity. Speaking of family vacations, that’s an amazing opportunity to create so much more than a “break” from normality. We’ve found that we enjoy camping and kayaking while the weather is warmer, and the kids really enjoy it, too. Kayaking is a great form of exercise! Family biking trips are easy, too. In Hudson (and Hillsdale) there are bike trails that are off the roads that the entire family can just stroll along, and the family chemistry that can be created is immeasurable! In Hillsdale you can even start here at PRIME and make your way to the beach for activities in the sun and sand! There are so many opportunities everywhere around you for an active lifestyle, especially in the warmer months of Michigan. You just have to make a conscious effort to find them for yourself and your children. If you lead, they will follow . . . I promise!! And, if you didn’t catch that message, family is very important, too! The future of your kids is at stake; the more you teach, the more they’ll take with them and utilize in their life choices, so make it count! This has been another promising note from us at PRIME Fitness! Stay fit, my friends! MUSCLE UP . . . live fit
These youTh aThleTes complEmenTed Their hard work and dedicaTion wiTh personalized Training and iT paid off!
lucas McGraw kalamazoo college football
renee osborne Jackson college track/cross country
cage hodos owens community college baseball
alison toner Davenport college track
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GRAY MATTERS By Sarah Gray
Saying farewell to a long-time companion Our house recently celebrated a bit of a milestone. Along with our youngest turning another year older (eight, I can’t even believe it!), we also said goodbye to a companion that has traveled with us for more than 12 years — the car seat. Yes, now that our baby is eight we no longer have to lug a car seat in and out, transfer it to grandparents’ cars or make sure friends’ cars have enough. My daughter is also excited because her feet won’t fall asleep anymore due to dangling from her car seat and they can actually touch the floor. However, with celebration also comes frustration because without car seats there are no longer assigned seats in our car. So
So, let’s laugh. And, if that doesn’t work . . . try wine. 10
now the arguments of who wants to sit where are beginning. But what’s a car trip with yelling and some tears? Rare, if you’re talking about my brood. Many of you may be familiar with me and my family already. I have been writing a column for Simply Hers for almost six years. But, for those of you who have not let me introduce myself. I am the A-L-E-X …. Oops, sorry, that’s Hamilton. My name is Sarah Gray. I have lived in Hillsdale County for almost six years. I am originally from Owosso (20 miles west of Flint) and moved here with my family for my husband’s job. My husband Jeff and I have three amazing kiddos – Ellie (12), Jake (9), and Anna (8) and a rescue mutt Molly. We live in a cozy house in Jonesville and after a couple moves around the state we have found home. I have loved writing ever since I wrote my first story in second grade. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories – because everybody has a story. Many people don’t think that. They don’t think their life or what they do is very interesting or exciting. But trust me, in the almost 20 years I have been talking with and writing about people I have found everyone has a story.
I don’t always think my life is all that interesting, but somehow I manage to find a moment or lesson in my day to expand and write about. That’s what I like writing about the most. Taking a small conversation, interaction or observation and developing it into a column. A friend of mine once told me I wrote a “slice of life” type column. I suppose that’s true. (Many may argue it isn’t very interesting and to them, I say “Touché.”) There are lessons in little moments of our days. There is a lot of beauty as well. What is it Ferris Bueller said? “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it.” That’s not just a fun quote from an awesome 80s movie. So, that’s me. A wife, mom, chauffeur, cook, scheduler, chair-pusher-inner, light-turn-off-er, finder of all things (even when they are in plain sight), hugger, cheerleader for my family and friends, writer, runner, chocolate-lover, and, as of a few weeks ago, 40-year-old (gulp). I hope you’ll enjoy my silly, self-deprecating columns on motherhood and parenting. We are all in this parenting thing together no matter what stage or age our child is in. So, let’s laugh a little along the way – they say it’s the best medicine. And, if that doesn’t work . . . try wine.
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The UPside of DOWN SyndromE By Angela Blake
Learning to live with Trisomy 21 Trisomy 21. That is the official name for what most of us know as Down Syndrome. It is a chromosomal disorder that happens when the 21st chromosome gets an extra one. That is it. One extra chromosome, and suddenly the path you envisioned for your child, or in this case my grandchild, is no longer the path you are on. My name is Angie Blake and on February 18, 2018, we welcomed our beautiful granddaughter Brazley Lynn into the world. She came a few weeks early and within one hour of getting to the delivery room. She was a tiny little thing and I fell in love the moment I laid eyes on her. I noticed things were slightly different than what I remembered with my own children. She didn’t breathe on her own right away and needed a little help to get going. Her hands didn’t grip at my finger; in fact, her small wrist didn’t seem strong enough to hold up the
12
Suddenly the path you envisioned for your child is no longer the path you are on.
weight of her hand. She was too blue and she didn’t have a very strong cry. I waived off the observations and simply basked in the joy that was our little miracle. Very quickly the medical staff took her from my daughter to check her breathing and temperature, and that was the final moment we thought everything was normal. After that, it seemed as though every half hour the staff would come in and give us an update that made our hearts ache. Brazley’s temperature is low we need to warm her up. Brazley’s oxygen is low we’ll need to help her out. Brazley’s platelets are low we’ll need to give her a transfusion. She has a heart murmur, her liver isn’t doing what it is supposed to be doing, we’ll need to consult with the experts. The tension grew until I dreaded seeing the door open. Please, no more bad news. Then the doctor came in and said . . . “Brazley is showing traits that make us believe she may have Trisomy 21.” More tests were needed. My first Google search lead me to the sites for Down Syndrome and I began my crash course on the subject. All of her issues can be a result of the syndrome. In fact, fifty percent of children with the syndrome have to have heart surgery at birth, did you know that? I didn’t. By the grace of God, she was in the group whose hearts would heal without surgical intervention. The first three weeks were filled with doctors, tests, and many anxious moments. When she was 12 days old she had to be air-lifted to the Children’s Hospital New Orleans because
her liver was not working the way it should be. (To put it in context, we live in Louisiana; she was only on the helicopter about 20 minutes.) It is, to this day, one of the most frightening days I have ever had in my life. But then, Brazley took a turn for the better. She began to regulate her blood and her platelets came up. Her liver decided to get on board and the numbers came down to a normal range. With a special diet and some fancy medicine, she was allowed to come home. Our precious bundle was three weeks old and oh, so tiny. The preemie clothes that were bought after she arrived still looked big on her, but she was home and she was amazing. Doctor visits three times a week were our new normal. My daughter and her husband went to speak with a geneticist who essentially gave them a roadmap on what to expect next. They quickly started her in therapy because the sooner there is intervention, the more ability the children have when they get older. Brazley started therapy at the tender age of two months and currently has therapy three times a week. Now that she is a year old, they will be adding speech therapy and another occupational therapy bringing the total number of sessions up to five each week. But, I thank God every day that she was born during this era and not 50 years ago. In the not so distant past, people didn’t see how amazing these little ones are. They were not pushed to greater abilities, they were not always given a chance to shine, or even to live. I can not imagine my life without her, nor can the rest of our family. She is our ray of sunshine every morning. I don’t know where the journey will lead, but I know I’m going to love the company.
We educate the WHOLE child at NAJ Meeting Social, Physical, and Emotional needs
• Free breakfast and lunch for EVERY STUDENT regardless of income and ALL costs of field trips are covered by the school • Offering a full time FFA program • Award-winning sports program growing to include wrestling in the fall! • TEEKS program - Teaching Excellence, Encouraging Kindess in Students • New K-12 Director of Student Achievement filled by Hillsdale County Teacher of the Year, Valerie Trott • Evidence-Based Literacy instruction from entire ELA and elementary staff
North AdAms/Jerome Public schools 13
Grow Where You’re Planted By Rachel Yoder
Meet the Yoders
... but on a busy night when the kids are caked in dirt from the neck down, it’s hot dogs and Kraft mac & cheese and a bath in the yard with the garden hose. 14
I’m Rachel Yoder and I am so happy you’ve picked up this magazine! If you are a regular Simply Hers reader, you are probably familiar with my column. I share gardening tips, recipes, stories, and some of my parenting experiences. I’m also a beekeeper, a preserver of food, a master gardener in progress, a selfproclaimed homesteader, wife, and the stayat-home mom of three little boys four and under including a set of twins. A friend once shared with me that “Having children was the only way to experience heaven and hell at the same time.” It’s probably the truest statement about parenting I’ve ever heard.
Our approach is a little different. We choose to allow screen time only on Friday nights when we have a movie night or we make exceptions when everyone is sick. What this looks like is puzzles and Legos on the floor, watercolors, games, Play-doh, and lots and lots of books. And, as long as it isn’t monsooning or -47°, we are outside playing. We’ve begun bird watching, it’s sort of our version of that Pokemon game and we are trying to “catch them all” by marking them off in our book as we discover them. The natural world is very important to us and to our future as humans, so we do our best to teach them that it needs to be preserved and protected and what we can do to help.
In this new parenting magazine, I look forward to sharing with you my triumphs and failures as a parent. I can’t and won’t ever claim to be a perfect parent, so you’ll find no Instagram filter on this column or our family. I’m just a real mom in the trenches just like you. I hope that my stories give you strength and let you know you’re not alone in the most difficult job on the planet – raising children to be decent, kind, and productive.
Our boys are imaginative, smart, loving, kind . . . and just to balance out the crunchiness of this paragraph . . . seemingly feral most of the time. I try to cook a healthy homemade meal every single night with each ingredient coming from our garden and washed down with an ice cold glass of milk hand-pulled by virgin Dutch milkmaids, but on a busy night when the kids are caked in dirt from the neck down, it’s hot dogs and Kraft mac & cheese and a bath in the yard with the garden hose.
If you’d like, you can follow my adventures on Facebook at Green Promise Grows, Instagram green.promise.grows, or check out my website: greenpromisegrows.com
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Setting limits on video games By Sarah Gray
Technology has become an increasingly important part of today’s culture and society. It has become embedded in our children’s culture making the definition of technology and what is described quite long.
Just because your child’s play looks different than yours did, that doesn’t mean that it’s any less normal, healthy and productive 16
According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, technology refers to digital and analog materials including software programs, applications (apps), broadcast and streaming media, children’s television programming, e-books, the internet, and other forms of content designed to facilitate active and creative use by young children. This means phones, tablets, iPads, CDs, DVDs, television, streaming video, computers, car monitors, or anything else electronic. But how much time is too much time when it comes to technology, specifically when it comes to video gaming. Child clinical psychologist Randy Kulman Ph.D. argues that much of a child’s screen time can be healthy and productive. “Just because your child’s play looks different than yours did, that doesn’t mean that it’s any less normal, healthy and productive,” he says in an article he wrote for Psychology Today. “It appears that the content of screen time, and the degree to which screen time substitutes for other healthier activities, may be the biggest concern when it comes to evaluating how much screen time kids should be allowed each day.” Video game technology continues to advance along with all other electronics. Graphics have
become more realistic, games more complex, and characters more involved. When the game Fortnite was introduced in the summer of 2017 it became an instant success and gained millions of players within the first weeks. In March 2019, Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney announced the total number of Fortnite players had reached 250 billion. Gaming experts say the ability to create personal stories, share experiences with others, the variety of situations and the cartoon-like graphics make the game engrossing to players. In 2018, parents all over the country lamented about “losing their kid to Fortnite.” Andrew Przbylski, a psychologist at the University of Oxford in England states that playing video games for three or more hours a day led to increased levels of psychological maladjustment and lower levels of prosocial behavior and life satisfaction when compared to playing for one hour a day. He also found that children who played one hour a day were actually healthier and happier than those who never played or those who played more than three hours. When it comes to setting limits for video games, rules must be made and followed. Social worker Dori Mages, founder of North Shore Family Services in Chicago, says it’s important to set a time of day that is appropriate for video game playing. She suggests after school as a good time because it allows kids to unwind from the school day. Avoid playing before bed as it “may make it difficult for them to relax and fall asleep.”
It is also important to set a time limit for gaming and stick to it. Mages suggests setting a timer and creating a consequence for going over the time limit, such as taking time away from playing the next day. Kulman states “one hour of playing video games every day is just about right but it has to be balanced with no screen time.” He also recommends parents make sure games are age-appropriate for their child. “Even an hour a day can be harmful if your child is spending it on age-inappropriate content.” Michael Flores, Ph.D., a clinical physiologist at Big Lots Outpatient Behavioral Health – Nationwide Children’s Hospital, suggest parents use the “Ms” when it comes to video games for their children. First, make time to know what your child is playing. Second, monitor what your child is playing and – if they are playing online – with whom your child is playing. Lastly, moderate how much time your child spends gaming. “If you notice significant changes in your child’s health, social or academic functioning, set limits and reduce screen time,” he says. It is important for parents to understand that today’s world is a video game culture. There are benefits to video gaming or “digital play” such as building memory and planning skills. Przbyski states “the healthiest children are the ones who benefit from having the social opportunities and cognitive challenges of video game play, while also having time for other activities.”
If you notice significant changes in your child’s health, social or academic functioning, set limits and reduce screen time
TAE KWON DO CLASSES Anderson Institute of TaePark TKD
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Vaping on the rise among teens
By Sarah Gray
The use of e-cigarettes or vaping is on the rise. As the trend has grown in popularity among adults, the interest and use among teens are growing as well. Hillsdale County Undersheriff Carl Albright says the department has seen an increase in youth vaping and using e-cigarettes in the last few years.
rise in the use of e-cigarettes and vaping in the last several years. If minors are caught with vaping instruments, police will confiscate the paraphernalia, call the child’s parent, and, in some cases, the minor will be taken to juvenile court.
E-cigarettes are an electronic device that heat liquid usually containing nicotine, flavorings, and other chemicals to produce an aerosol. They come in many shapes and sizes. Some look like cigarettes while others can look like cigars, pipes, as well as everyday items like pens or USB flash drives.
While there are claims that e-cigarettes and vaping are a safer option than smoking, there are very real dangers. A West Michigan teen recently suffered a seizure while driving after vaping. Sophie Deiters, 17, was driving in Grandville on April 24, 2019, and took a hit off her friend’s Suorin Air vaping pod. Sophie admits to vaping in the past but stated she had recently quit. The vaping pod was 50% nicotine – the highest amount you can have in a vaping device. The Federal Drug Administration recently began a study regarding this issue after seeing a spike in reports of seizures similar to Sophia’s – healthy people with no prior medical conditions vaping and then suffering seizures.
According to the Center for Disease Control, teens are more likely to use e-cigarettes than cigarettes. In 2018, the numbers were on the rise among teen users with 9.5% of eighth graders, 14% of 10th graders and 16.2% of 12th graders smoking e-cigarettes. Boys are also twice as likely to use e-cigarettes as girls. “It is easily accessible and easily concealable,” Albright says of e-cigarettes. Teens as young as 12 and 13 have started vaping. Some do not believe that vaping is as dangerous as smoking and therefore is a safer option than cigarettes. While the long-term effects of vaping are not known, the CDC states that e-cigarettes are not harmless “water vapor,” and the aerosol users inhale and exhale from the device can contain harmful and potentially harmful substances such as nicotine, diacetyl, a flavoring chemical that has been linked to serious lung disease, cancer-causing chemicals, and heavy metals such as nickel, tin, and lead. It is also difficult to know exactly what is in e-cigarettes. Teens may believe what they inhale has no nicotine and is therefore not dangerous, but some e-cigarettes that are advertised as having no nicotine were actually found to contain the addictive chemical. Nicotine is an addictive drug that can harm the adolescent brain and affect the parts of the brain that control attention, learning, mood, and impulse control. According to the CDC, teens who use e-cigarettes are more likely to start smoking and the use of nicotine in adolescence increases the risk of future addiction to other drugs. While e-cigarettes and vaping are illegal for minors in Michigan, use among teens is increasing and it can be difficult for police to enforce. “Vaping instruments can be more difficult to see,” says Albright. He says local authorities are seeing a 18
Vaping was originally intended to be a less harmful option for adult smokers. However, much of the packaging and flavors have made it enticing to teens and young adults. The American Cancer Society Action Network, American Heart Association, and Michigan State Medical Society recently stated in a letter to Michigan lawmakers that “The rapid rise in the number of youths who use electronic smoking devices or e-cigarettes is a public health epidemic that threatens to erode decades of progress made in reducing tobacco use.” In 2017, approximately 15% of Michigan high school students used electronic cigarettes and almost 23% used some form of tobacco according to the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services. Parents need to keep a close watch on their child for e-cigarette use or vaping. “It may sound blunt but be a parent,” Albright says. “You need to know what your child is doing. This is not without its health hazards.” He adds that in addition to nicotine, youth can use vaping devices to smoke marijuana. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids suggests parents familiarize themselves with what vaping is and what it looks like. Then have a conversation with their child about vaping, ask if they have been exposed to vaping, and the dangers associated with vaping. They can also set a positive example by being tobacco-free themselves.
Signs your child might be vaping E-cigarettes and vaping do not target one age group or demographic of youth. Here are some signs to tell if your child is vaping: Sweet scents. Vaping pods come in many desirable flavors such as bubblegum, fruit, or candy. Instead of smelling tobacco smoke, parents may smell sweet scents, even when your child has nothing in his or her mouth. Nosebleeds. Vaping dries out the nasal passageways. If your child starts having nosebleeds or red cracked skin around the nose, that could be a red flag. Increased thirst. Vaping dries out the mouth and throat. Drinking an abnormal amount of liquids could be a warning sign. Vaper’s tongue. Vaping can decrease flavor perception. If your child wants spicier foods or adds lots of salt to meals, that could be a sign of vaping. Finding unfamiliar USB drives, battery chargers, or spare parts. If your child is carrying around unfamiliar tech-looking devices or there are interesting items in their trash, you may want to ask. Restlessness/Sleepiness. Nicotine can affect sleep patterns. If your child stays up later, sleeps in later, or has difficulty sleeping, nicotine could be the cause.
E-cigarette and Vaping terminology E-cigarette and vaping have their own vocabulary. Here are just a few of the many terms used in the vaping community and what they mean. Mod: A type of e-cig with separable components. The term originally applied to personal vaporizers that had been either modified from a pre-manufactured e-cig or built from scratch to meet the specific desires of the user; however, the term is now commonly used to describe any e-cig that isn’t a cig-a-like. Tank: The reservoir for e-liquid to be used with an e-cig. Cartridge: A removable container that holds e-liquid ready for use. Analog: The slang name for regular cigarettes. Atomizer: Also called “atty” for short, this is the part of an e-cig that houses the coil and wick that is heated to produce vapor from e-liquid. Toot: A slang term for a draw from an electronic cigarette. PV (Personal Vaporizer): Alternative way to say about a vaping device. PCC: Stands for Personal (or portable) Charging Case. A PCC provides a case for storage and charging for e-cigarettes (typically cig-a-likes). The PCC has an internal battery to charge from external power sources. Juice: A shorthand term for e-liquid. 19
From left to right 2019/2020 officers: Joanie Peck, Fundraising committee (missing: Sonia Balog), Meghan Barnes, Membership Chair, Stephanie Gordon,Vice President, Rachel Kies, historian, Kellee Patillo, Secretary, Laury Ward, President, and Sandy Sumnar, Hospitality Chair
This group of moms has made a huge impact on my life... all while supporting the children of our community. 20
hide and seek study group Celebrates 50 Years in Hillsdale County By Stephanie Gordon
I was knee-deep in diapers with two baby girls four years ago when I was invited by a friend to attend a Hide and Seek Child Study group meeting. I knew it was a “mom group” that was on a mission to support local children and provide a community to the moms within the group. Fast forward a few years—I am now the group’s vice president, and I completely adore this group of mothers and its mission.
our group are seasoned moms who are married, single, first-time moms, and moms who have several children. Our members are business owners, stay-athome moms, doctors, veterinarians, teachers, and everything in between. No matter what path we have chosen, we are all mothers at the end of the day with the intention of supporting each other and the children of our community.
Hillsdale County’s Hide and Seek Child Study group was founded in 1969, but the Michigan Child Study Association was founded in 1920. The organization was and is devoted to parent education and child development. Hillsdale’s Hide and Seek child study group is one of the longest-running child study groups in the state of Michigan and celebrates 50 years of service this year.
The group raises money each year and spreads donations throughout Hillsdale County. Monies are raised with due fees and fundraising. This past year, donations were made to CASA, local camps, Alpha Omega, SPARC, and the Early Pregnancy Loss Association. Donations vary each year, depending on how the group votes to distribute the monies. “Every year, in addition to educating ourselves about topics related to children and to providing support for families, the ladies of Child Study devote their time and energy to raising money to support causes in the community which benefit local children,” said Laury Ward, president for 2019/2020 year. “This year, we hope to focus on not only donating funds but also on donating time as a group to help local organizations with events or projects that could use a critical mass of volunteers.”
The group of 30 moms meets once a month, usually at a member’s home, from September through May. A formal meeting is held while hosting a speaker from the community or holding round table discussions among members. Speakers vary and have included local doctors, organizations, business owners, and fitness instructors – to name a few. This past fall the women of the group received training in sexual abuse awareness. After a member completes 10 years of service to the group, she is considered an honorary member. A flow of new members is important to the group’s longevity and success. I appreciate this group of moms because we are a very diverse group. The women who make up
This group of moms has made a huge impact on my life, and I’ve been able to establish many relationships with various people in our community, all while supporting the children of our county. To learn more, contact the Hide and Seek Child Study group at hillsdalechildstudy@gmail.com.
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21
Parenting Styles in
Blended Families By Sonja Howell Executive Director, Tranquil Parenting Over the generations, several parenting techniques have been created. Sometimes it’s hard to know which technique will work best for your family. The Separated Parenting Technique Scale, or SPT Scale, was created especially for blended families regardless of parenting time structure. This scale helps parents in blended home situations determine exactly what type of separated parenting technique they currently use and which technique they want to transition to in order to optimize a positive atmosphere for their children.
The scale includes the following terms from psychologytoday.com: Co-parenting: Sometimes called joint parenting or shared parenting, this is the experience of raising children as a single parent when separation or divorce occurs. Often a difficult process, co-parenting is greatly influenced by the reciprocal interactions of each parent. Parallel parenting: An arrangement in which divorced parents have demonstrated they are unable to communicate with each other in a respectful manner. Instead, they are able to co-parent by disengaging from each other and having limited direct contact. Counter Parenting: Parents who regularly start arguments, criticize, insert themselves into their ex’s business, and prevent life from being calm or harmonious. They take no note of how the chaos affects the children
22
or how their actions interfere with the act of parenting.
exists as the child only experiences a positive atmosphere with no cruelty involved.
Parental Alienation: One or both parents cause psychological manipulation of the child by creating unwarranted fear, disrespect, or hostility towards a parent and/ or other family members.
Counter Parenting is when one or both parents are continuously documenting, calling the police or child protective service, and parents are constantly taking the other parent to court or degrading each other. Parents waste valuable parenting time trying to prove that one parent is better than the other, claiming it’s for “the best interest of the child.” This causes a lot of stress in both homes as the family members are continually unsettled. The child does not experience a
Most blended families are very familiar with the term “co-parenting.” This is where the mom is mom 24/7, the dad is dad 24/7, and the children are allowed the same type of childhood they would have had if the
parents had stayed together. Step-parents may have a chance to add their opinions. Events such as doctor appointments and parent-teacher conferences are regularly attended together as a whole family. The child only experiences a positive atmosphere with no cruelty involved. Today’s society has created the expectation that separated and blended families need to ”co-parent.” Parallel parenting can be just as healthy as co-parenting if it is done without the parents degrading each other. Both parents make decisions from a distance. The parents remain equal parents, just as in co-parenting, but not necessarily on a 24/7 basis. Neither parent is removed or replaced by stepparents. The step-parent is not invited to give opinions but is still allowed room to share in responsibilities and raise the child. Appointments may or may not be attended together. Adjusting schedules most likely does not happen. The ultimate goal still
positive atmosphere, and forms of cruelty exist. The final technique, Parental Alienation, is hard to prove. The child is being torn between both parents physically and/or emotionally. This is where the parents try to remove the trust and relationship of the parent/child from one or the other. The parent uses techniques that scare the child into not wanting the other parent. A negative atmosphere and long-lasting cruelty do exist. The secret to using this scale successfully is to be totally honest, have respect, and give gratitude for each other. At the same time, take advantage of the collective knowledge of the parents, with no interference from others, to create individualized family solutions. Blended families have the option to share everyone’s ideas and goals, and the child has ample opportunities to benefit from each person’s experiences.
Learn a NEW Way and
Take iT To The lefT Separated Parenting Technique Scale
• Conflict Management • Parenting Skills for Separated Parents • Coping Techniques • Prevent Cruelty to Children Apply at www.tranquilstudio.org
Sonja Howell Executive Director Program Creator
TM
501(c)3 23 23
Kimball Camp
A Complete Experience! By Melissa McCance
and communication skills. Kimball Camp strives to meet children’s spiritual, emotional, and physical needs.
If it was part of your childhood, the words “summer camp” probably bring back a lot of memories. There were worries (“Will the other kids like me? Will I miss home too much?), anticipation (“I’m going to swim and ride horses!”), and some self-discovery (“Hey—I can do this! I hit the bullseye!”). Kimball Camp YMCA in Reading, Michigan, has been helping children create camp memories since 1938. The camp had a big setback in 1965 when it was completely destroyed by the Palm Sunday tornadoes, but it was rebuilt and continues to offer outstanding camp programs to area children. Executive Director Harold Campbell came to Kimball Camp 25 years ago with lengthy experience as a camp administrator. He and wife Pam (now superintendent of the Columbia School District) had worked at a Salvation Army camp for a number of years before moving to this area. One point Harold would like to make clear is that he doesn’t own Kimball Camp. “About once a month I’m asked, ‘How long have you owned the camp?’ This facility is a YMCA camp and a 501(c)(3) entity,” he explains. When asked what he feels is the most important thing Kimball Camp offers, Harold immediately responds, “The impact we are able to have on the kids’ lives. Camp provides a safe, secure environment where children can try new things. They learn so much about what they can achieve.” He adds that the camp program is designed to foster responsibility, caring, honesty, respect, and how to get along with others. The campers participate in team-building exercises that build problem-solving
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Camp activities are planned to promote those goals in fun, exciting, and interesting ways. Campers can test themselves and build self-esteem by tackling the three big physical challenges available at Kimball Camp: Goliath—a 40foot climbing wall, a high ropes course, and the Giant Swing—the biggest rope swing most people will ever see. Harold is quick to mention that absolutely no teasing or trash talking is allowed if a child chooses not to try one of them or tries one but is unable to complete it either out of fear or lack of physical strength. “We always encourage a child to keep going and offer guidance and support, but no one is forced to continue and we make sure the other kids only applaud the attempt. We call it ‘Challenge by Choice.’” In addition to the climbing wall, ropes course, and swing, Kimball Camp offers the timehonored camp activities like bonfires, hayrides, evening programs, skits, watersports, and crafts. The season opens with a week for the Summer Camp Kick-Off in the first part of June. This session is for ages 6 to 17. Other sessions include Day Camp (ages 4 to 11 with transportation available from Coldwater, Hillsdale, or Quincy for an additional fee), Adventure Camp (ages 6 to 12) and New Adventure Camp (ages 12 to 17). There are some specialty camps that include Cheer and Dance Camp (ages 6 to 17), Horse Camp (ages 10 to 17), Leaders in Training (ages 13 to 17), and Summer Celebration that features a day at Cedar Point (ages 10 to 17, must be at least 48” tall). Parents are naturally concerned about their child’s safety when he or she is away from home, and Harold says that the children’s safety and well-being are of first priority. The camp staff is well-trained and consists mostly of college students who have been screened and selected for their spiritual depth and genuine interest in working with youth. He also makes sure that the staff members they hire are prepared to commit to giving every child in every session the best experience possible. “I tell them, you might be tired by week three, you might be struggling to keep your enthusiasm, but you have to remember: this is the campers’ ONLY week here. It has to be great all summer long.” Summer is not the only time that Kimball Camp is active. Each year there’s Halloween at
Cedar Point, the New Year’s Fest, and Winter Fest. Schools can bring groups to the camp at Thanksgiving time to enjoy a program that includes a presentation on why we celebrate the holiday and culminates in a true Thanksgiving feast. Harold is proud of the fact that camp fees at Kimball Camp are lower than many other camp programs. This, of course, necessitates some fundraising! The largest event is the spring auction which includes both silent and live auction items with food and beverages available for purchase. Still ahead are the annual golf outing and this year’s car raffle. The golf outing is scheduled for Friday, August 2, at Bella Vista Golf Course in Coldwater. If you’re the lucky winner of the car raffle, you will take possession of a gleaming 1970 Chevy Malibu, ready to turn heads wherever you go. Raffle tickets are $10 each and can be purchased at Frank Beck Chevrolet, Shemel’s Carpet, and other locations. For more information about programs, making a donation, the golf outing, or the car raffle, contact Kimball Camp by calling 517-283-2168 or emailing office@kimballcamp.com. You can also visit the webpage at www.kimballcamp. com or follow them on Facebook.
Kimball Camp is located at 4502 Berlin Drive, Reading, MI 49274.
25
It is
OKayto let
fail
our kids By Sarah Gray
As parents, we want to give our children every opportunity and advantage we can to become successful. But, at what point does our interfering become detrimental? Allowing our children to fail, or – to put a more positive spin on it – have natural consequences for their actions provides them with opportunities to grow, learn about themselves, and feel the discomfort that is so often a part of life. In the mid-1990s the term “helicopter parent” became part of the common lexicon. The phrase, used to describe a parent who is overly-involved his or her child’s life, has even been added to Webster’s Dictionary. These hovering, overprotective parents have raised a generation. Now, along with helicopter parents, is a new parenting style: the snowplow or bulldozer parent. These moms and dads, while very well-intentioned, do everything in their power to clear a path for their child to protect them from discomfort or harm.
While both of these parenting styles come from love and wanting what is best for their children, parents can actually be doing more harm than good when they solve every problem or keep their child from feeling the effects of failure. “It is natural for parents to want to swoop in,” says Dr. Dan Coupland, Dean of Faculty at Hillsdale College and Chair of the Education Department, “but it does not give the child a chance to solve the conflict. Leadership training does not happen at the MBA level. It happens at the youngest of levels.” He says by allowing children to handle conflict and consequences, parents are helping to mold their children into the kind of adults they will become. “It’s really shaping who they are as human beings; what kind of employee, spouse, parents, and leader they will be. It is not bad to encounter adversity.”
There are many theories as to how the helicopter or snowplow parenting styles became almost the norm in today’s society. While it is important to know how this new breed of parents began, what may be more important is what to do about it – especially if we see ourselves falling into one of these categories. There is a tendency in western culture to associate struggle with failure. If a parent is constantly plowing a clear path for their child,
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how will the child know what to do when, inevitably, they encounter an obstacle? Nationally recognized parenting expert Amy McCready explains: “When kids don’t experience what it is like to fail, they miss the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and don’t learn how to improve for the future.” She says this can have a two-fold effect. Children will then either lack the confidence to take risks and won’t courageously face their problems head-on, or they will avoid situations where they think they might fail. They will not be able to trust themselves in tough situations. “Mistakes are a chance to learn and will help us adapt to new and difficult situations as we encounter them throughout life,” she says.
While it may not be comfortable to watch our kids struggle or even fail, it is a very important part of effectively parenting our children. Dr. Coupland says that parents may think “if my kid fails, that is a reflection on me.” The world of social media and creating a perfect online persona can easily bleed into everyday life and soon it becomes quicker and easier to do your child’s homework for them rather than watch them labor to complete it. “It is hard to let your kid struggle,” he says. What parents can do is look at struggles and failure as opportunities for their children to grow, give them selfconfidence, and take responsibility for their actions. McCready states, “When your kid makes a mistake don’t come down hard – encourage the effort, withhold judgment, and be a sympathetic ear. Emphasize the positives of learning from your mistakes and how to learn from our miscues.” Be an engaged and involved parent. Coupland says it is important to have quality and quantity time with our children.
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“We can be so busy that we fail to be a parent. There are many unplanned elements of life that are life-shaping.” He says by bulldozing a path or rushing in to solve a problem that parents are “squashing opportunities” for children to learn and grow. By allowing our children to feel the effects of natural consequences at an early age, parents are setting their children up to become motivated, hard-working, selfsufficient adults. “Giving our kids the tools they need to roll with the punches and bounce back from failure will be a lesson that will serve them for the rest of their life,” McCready says. “Early experiences with failure will help them make tough decisions as they grow older and ultimately guide their successes.”
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27
Limited Guardianships Under Michigan Law
By Laura Rahe Simply Hers Magazine
Licensed Michigan Attorney Law Office of Timothy E. Dixon 27 N. Broad St. Hillsdale, MI 49242 Ph: (517) 437-4070 Fx: (517) 437-4062
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What options are available when a parent is unable to care for his or her child, and there is no other custodial parent available? These situations can arise in any number of circumstances. A parent may experience a serious health problem or be deployed in the military. Sometimes a parent needs drug treatment or faces incarceration. Michigan law provides for powers of attorney, limited guardianships, and full guardianships in these situations. A power of attorney is by far the simplest method for providing for a child’s care when the custodial parent or parents are unavailable. Parents in this situation should consult with an attorney who can draft a document that the parents can revoke at any time. The law provides, however, that a power of attorney can only remain in effect for up to 180 days although there is an exception for parents deployed in the military in a foreign nation. In a situation that the parent expects to last longer than six months, the court must be involved. The custodial parent or parents initiate a limited guardianship proceeding by filing a petition in the circuit court, family division for the county in which the child lives or is located. The petition states that the parent is willing to suspend his or her parental rights and requests that the court appoint a designated person or persons to serve as guardian or guardians. The petition for limited guardianship must be accompanied by a limited guardianship placement plan. The plan must describe the reasons for the limited guardianship, the visitation schedule, any financial support the parent will provide, and how long the parent expects the limited
guardianship to last. Parenting time and contact under the plan must be sufficient to maintain the relationship between the parent and the child. The plan must be accepted by the proposed guardian and approved by the court. Parents should exercise care in seeking to have a limited guardianship established and in agreeing to a limited guardianship placement plan. If a parent fails substantially to comply with the limited guardianship placement plan without good cause, his or her parental rights can be terminated. If a parent has substantially complied with the limited guardianship placement plan and petitions the court to have the guardianship terminated, the court must order that the guardianship be terminated. Unlike the case of a full guardianship, which I intend to address in a subsequent article, the court does not have discretion as to whether to terminate the limited guardianship—provided that the parent has substantially complied with the placement plan. The court can, however, enter an order to help reintegrate the child into the parent’s home for a period of up to six months before the limited guardianship terminates. Michigan law also permits parents to name a prospective guardian in the event of their death or incapacity through a will or other writing. The law provides as well for full guardianships in other circumstances. These situations are beyond the scope of this article. Parents or prospective guardians who wish to explore their options should contact a reputable family law attorney.
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m fa ily Volunteerism
By Rachel Yoder
Get the family involved in the community
are 55 or older and love kids, you can become a foster grandparent to a child in need of a supportive relationship. You can find more information about the Foster Grandparent Program at the Lenawee Department of Aging (leneweeseniors.org) or contact Director Judy Bays at (517) 264-5280 or toll-free at 1-866-347-5683. We only get one world and it is our duty to protect it. The Hillsdale County Conservation District hosts annual recycling events, Adopt-A-Highway, and River Cleanup days. Call (517) 849-9890, Ext. 3 for up to date information and ways to get involved.
E
very parent wants to raise well-rounded individuals, capable, intelligent, and productive. It’s also our duty to make sure we raise them to look beyond their own homes, see the needs in their communities, and make an effort to fill those needs. There are a lot of great ways families of all ages can volunteer in their communities and make a difference. As a family, you can adopt a grandparent at a retirement home near you. The simple act of sharing a meal or playing a card game once a week can brighten everyone’s day. Or, if you
30
Get the family involved in community service-minded clubs by joining a 4-H, FFA, and scouting groups near you. These clubs also offer leadership and basic skills that will have a positive lifelong impact. Visit your local humane society to walk and play with animals that need a little kindness. Rescue groups are always in need of cleaning supplies like bleach, laundry detergent, and dish soap. Used towels and blankets, dog and cat food, and office supplies are also welcome donations. But, most of all, they need people to give a hand in cleaning, laundry, brushing and bathing animals, and help at adoption events. For the specific needs of your local shelter, check out their website or give them a call to find out how your family can best help. Contact the Greater Hillsdale Humane Society at 517-5232308 or the Lenawee Humane Society at 517-263-3463. You don’t need to be a part of an organization to make a difference, either. Simply gather your family and friends at a local park, nature preserve, or town center and have a cleanup day. Celebrate with a picnic lunch and games afterward. And, it’s time to bring back the long lost tradition of the neighborhood welcome wagon. Make a point of going over to say “Hi” to new neighbors and introduce your family. (A plate of cookies never hurts, either.) Your children will learn to be outgoing and how to include new people into their communities.
Real Men Rock!
Jim Cole and daughter, Brooklyn
Smith
Please don’t shake them - you might break them!
Hi! This is Jim Cole, proud father of daughter, Brooklyn. Taking care of young children is hard work. When they cry, it may seem even harder. Atdon’t timesshake you may feel angry. Don’t losethem! your Please them - you might break cool and. . .
Real Men Rock!
Lucas Sparks, SHAKE with Son Tanner and holding Maverick and Everlee NEVER A BABY. Shaking a baby, for
even seconds, can result in cerebral palsy, blindness, paralysis, brain damage and even death. Get control, you’re the adult. Ask for help.
Hi! This is Lucas Sparks, proud father of Tanner age 7, Maverick age 1 and Everlee 1 month. Parenting can be rewarding! But it can also be very stressful. When financial troubles, illness, family relationships an job stress combine with crying children, it can become overwhelming. Before it gets to be too much, ask for help. Don’t do something you will regret.
NEVER SHAKE SHAKE A A BABY... BABY... NEVER REAL MEN MEN ROCK ROCK REAL
Hi! This is Lucas Sparks, proud father of If you need immediate help, Tanner age 7, Maverick age 1 and Everlee Dave Smith Lucas Sparks, with Son Tanner and holding Maverick and Everlee If you need immediate help, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. 1month. Parenting can be rewarding! This is Lucas Sparks, proud father of Tanner age 7, Maverick age 1 and Everlee 1 call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. But it can also be very stressful. Joe Campbell and son, Harrison nth. Parenting can be rewarding! But it can also be very stressful. When financial For information, call CAPA at (517) 437-3100 ubles, illness, family relationships an job stress combine withfamily crying children, it can When financialtroubles, illness, Hi! This is Joe Campbell, proud father of son, Harrison. CaringHillsdale for a babyCounty or young child is Child Abuse & Awareness For Prevention information, call CAPA at (517)of437-3100 come overwhelming. Before it gets to be too much, ask for help. Don’t do something hard work. A multiple of kids can make it harder. It means long hours and little sleep. Some will regret. relationships an job stress combine with Childemail: Abuse Prevention & Awareness of Hillsdale County capahillsdale@sbcglobal.net babies cry a lot. If you’re getting frustrated, take a break. Ask someone you trust to relieve crying children, it canbecome overwhelming. email: capahillsdale@sbcglobal.net you for a while, or put the baby inwww.capahillsdale.net a crib or playpen for a few minutes. You’re the adult, get www.capahillsdale.net Before it gets to be too much, ask forcontrol, don’t lose your cool. help. Don’t do somethingyou will regret.
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NEVER SHAKE A BABY... REAL MEN ROCKNEVER SHAKE A BABY. NEVER SHAKE A BABY... If you need immediate help, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. REAL MEN ROCK even death.
For information, call CAPA at (517) 437-3100 Child Abuse Prevention & Awareness of Hillsdale County email: capahillsdale@sbcglobal.net www.capahillsdale.net
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Shaking a baby, for even seconds, can result in serious injury or
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If you need immediate help, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. For information, call CAPA at (517) 437-3100 Child Abuse Prevention & Awareness of Hillsdale County email: capahillsdale@sbcglobal.net www.capahillsdale.net
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BOY MOM By Rachel Yoder
BOY, let me tell you...
They are loud, stick-wielding, tree climbing, competitive peeing, wrestling, farting, scraped knee, black-eyed and bruised, danger seekers 32
When I pictured my future kids, they were boys. As a tomboy myself growing up, I found that boys were far easier creatures to understand and co-exist with than girls. Girls speak in code, they say one thing and mean another, and are altogether far too confusing. I would know—after all, I am one. Boys are simple creatures, right? They say God gives you what you can handle and my husband and I have been blessed with three little boys. That leaves me and our chocolate lab Molly as the only females in the house . . . even the pet rabbit is a boy.
One good thing is that my dinosaur trivia knowledge is really beginning to come in handy. Actually, so is knot tying. You know that seemingly superhuman talent your husband has of not hearing a single thing you say? They are born with it. I might as well be speaking Chinese to them. And, they are constantly on the go from the second their feet hit the floor to the moment their heavy little eyelids slip shut on the fifth page of “Moose Eggs” (by Susan Williams Beckhorn if you’d like to check it out) at bedtime.
When you flake off the dried mud there is a little person underneath so kind and gentle-hearted it makes your own heart swell with joy. They They are loud, stick-wielding, tree climblove babies, have the names of bird species ing, competitive peeing, wrestling, farting, committed to memory, and they know just how scraped knee, black-eyed and bruised, dan- to hold the bunny so he feels safe. They help ger seekers, and they aren’t even five, yet. their brother up when he falls off his bike, and I had no freaking clue what I was getting they are quick to forgive and give hugs. Tears into. I could be a spokeswoman for Tide. are shed often and their feelings and spirits are Everything they wore for the day is caked tender. They can’t sit still and neither can their in dirt . . . even their underwear . . . how? minds, hungry for more information. When They have built-in filth navigation. If there you are having a bad day, they make you laugh. is a puddle to be stomped, they will stomp When they drive you close to the brink of insanit. If there is a worm to be dug they will dig ity, they give you a kiss and bring you back. So it – stick it in their bike basket and “take it I’ll take the mud-smeared smooches and hold for a ride!” (which I’m sure the worms love), them close when they get hurt because being a or pop them into their pockets (really fun boy mom is the best thing that’s ever happened to find in the dryer, I call it “worm jerky”). to me.
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Loving Foster Homes Needed Lansing, MI — From Wayne County to Gogebic County, May saw blue and white lawn flags dotting Michigan’s landscape to demonstrate the need for loving foster homes for children. Michigan has approximately 13,500 children in foster care. Children of all ages who have been victims of abuse and neglect need temporary foster homes to care for them until they can be safely reunified with their parents or – in a smaller number of cases – until they can find adoptive homes if it’s not safe for them to return home. 34
“Every child deserves a safe, loving and stable home,” said Governor Gretchen Whitmer. “This month [May] and throughout the year, I hope Michiganders will consider opening up their homes to children in foster care.” The Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS) oversees the state’s foster care system. “Foster parents are critically important in helping us meet our mission of protecting the safety and well-being of children,” said MDHHS Director Robert Gordon. “I want to express my thanks and gratitude to the many Michiganders who provide love,
affection, support, and security to children who are in need.” The first step to becoming a foster parent is contacting a Foster Care Navigator. Navigators are experienced foster parents who can answer questions, help individuals find an agency that’s right for them, and provide guidance along their journey to becoming a foster parent. They can be reached at 855-MICHKIDS.
To learn more about foster care, visit www.michigan.gov/hopeforahome.
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Kids Headed Off to College? How to Survive and Embrace It By Kimberly Blaker
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A
s you prepare to see your adolescent off to college, you flash back to all your child’s milestones, special moments, and fun times you’ve shared together. It feels like only yesterday your toddler said their first word. Soon after, you dropped your child off for their first day of kindergarten, prepared your preteen for puberty, and took your teen shopping for the high school prom.
But now, in what feels like an instant, your young adult is headed out into the world, more or less on their own. This is a turning point at which you no longer have much oversight or say in your child’s life. This can be both scary and exhilarating for parents and kids alike. You’ll worry about your adolescent’s safety and well-being. But you’ll also revel in your child’s enthusiasm, excitement, and dreams for the future. Parents’ feelings about their own life without their child’s daily presence and parenting responsibilities are often met with a mix of emotions as well. Many parents look forward to this point in their lives and a freedom they haven’t enjoyed in nearly two decades. Some parents may even feel conflicted or guilty for looking forward to ‘me’ time. At the same time, many parents (even those same parents) feel a sense of loss. After all, they’ve devoted 18 years to caregiving and raising their child. Many parents lose their sense of self while raising a family. In fact, being a parent can become one’s identity. As a result, parents may feel an even greater loss when their kid heads away to college.
SURVIVAL TIPS
So how do you survive this transition? Learn to embrace it. A heart-to-heart. Write a letter or talk to your adolescent when you see him or her off to college. A letter is best because your kid can save it and read it again to absorb and ponder what you have to say. You’ve already taught your child the importance of manners and doing their schoolwork. So skip that stuff. Instead, offer wisdom about life and your appreciation for your adolescent’s wonderful characteristics. Also, avoid dumping on your child. It’s okay to say you’re going to miss your kid. But don’t overdo it and leave your child feeling guilty or responsible for your pain or loss. Connection and space. Decide how to keep the connection with your adolescent. Phone calls, texting, email, video chat, and getting together in person offer ample opportunities to maintain your relationship. But don’t overdo it. Your young adult needs time and space to experience their newfound independence and blossom. Explore. You now have a lot more free time. Don’t let that downtime become an avenue to needlessly worry or mope. Instead, be proactive, and set out on a mission of self-discovery. Have you thought about going back to school, work, or changing your career? Now’s a good time to explore your options. How about a new hobby, volunteer work, or focusing on your fitness and health? You can also broaden your horizons. Try out different music genres, visit art and history museums, go to plays and sporting events, or explore cultural restaurants or cooking. Travel. Plan something exciting. Consider a trip to someplace you’ve always dreamed of going. Or perhaps plan a long road trip or multiple weekend road trips throughout the year. Whatever you choose will help busy your time with the planning, give you something to look forward to, and remind you of the upside of an empty nest or one less child to raise. It gets easier. Remember, whatever grief, loneliness, worries, or self-doubts you experience, they’re a normal part of this transition. With each week and month that passes, it’ll get easier – until one day, you wake up and discover you’ve fully embraced your new life – and feel true joy for your child’s newfound independence.
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LOCAL
GETAWAYS Campers don’t have to look far this summer to find the perfect site! By Sarah Gray, Simply Hers Magazine
Hillsdale County
Gateway Park Campground
Lenawee County
Located on South Sand Lake and surrounded by 135 wooded acres. It features 90 sites, a swimming pool, playground, boat rentals, a recreation room and picnic shelter. Opening for the season May 1, Gateway also has four cabins and one rental trailer. For more information, call 517-437-7005, visit gatewayparkcampground.com or like them on Facebook.
Boot Hill Campground
Way Back In Campground
2571 South Sand Lake Road Open May 1, Sugar Bush Campground has 44 sites available. Amenities include playground, fishing, store, picnic shelter, pavilion, recreation room, game room, rental trailers and country music on Saturday evenings. For more information, call 517439-9525 or visit www.sugarbushcampground. com
Offering seasonal, weekend and RV lots. Located at 3590 Jonesville Rd, the campground opens for the season April 1 and offers many weekend events throughout the spring and summer. For more information, call 517-849-0082, visit www. waybackin.com or like them on Facebook.
Marble Springs Campground
Located at 2320 East Bear Lake Rd. in Hillsdale, Boot Hill offers 75 primitive campsites with picnic tables. Sites do not have running water or electricity. Bathroom, wells, dumping station, playground equipment and boat launch are also available. For more information, call 517-439-5372.
Lake Hudson Recreation Area is located in a 2,796acre park that includes Lake Hudson. It offers 50 campsites—some on Lake Hudson with access to fishing. Anglers will find a boat launch which is on one of Michigan’s premier muskie fishing lakes as well several areas for bank fishing. For more info., call 517-445-2265 or visit www.michigandnr.com.
Sugar Bush Park
Green Valley Campground
Offering 52 acres, surrounded by multiple lakes, rivers, streams and 16 springs including Michigan’s only blue spring. Located at 9411 W. Chicago Rd. in Allen, Marble Springs features 60 sites and many amenities including laundry, paddle boats, miniature golf , basketball courts and a store. For more information, call 571-8692522, visit www.marblesprings.com.
Wildwood Acres
Somerset Beach Campground
Moscow Maples RV Park
Take a ride down a zip line or enjoy a relaxing swim. Located on a private lake at 9822 Brooklawn Court, the campground features 125 sites and 136 RV sites, as well as tent and RV rental. Somerset Beach also has boating, tennis, archery, recreation fields, rental equipment, playground, lodge, picnic area, laundry, hiking, snack shop and weekend worship services. For more information, call 517-688-3783, visit www.somersetbeach.org or like them on Facebook.
Hillsdale County Fairgrounds
Located at 115 S. Broad St., Hillsdale. Enjoy the quiet of camping while staying close to everything. The campground is pet friendly and is open from April through October, including fair week! Groups are welcome and reservations are required. Call 517-437-3622 Mon. - Friday 8-4:30.
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Lake Hudson Recreation Area
Wildwood Acres Campground has more than 125 sites on a quiet lake setting. Located at 14508 Goose Lake Rd. in Jonesville, the campground offers hiking trails, paddle boats, canoes, recreational facilities, small store, video games, swimming and fishing. For more information, call 517-524-7149 or like them on Facebook. Moscow Maples RV Park is a nice and quiet family campground that has 185 grassy sites, WiFi, a heated swimming pool, hot showers and much more. The park is located at 8291 E. Chicago Rd. in Moscow. For more information, call 517-688-3865 or visit www.moscowmaples.com.
6 Lakes Campground
Six Lakes Campground is a family campground located on Boot Lake in Hillsdale. The campground gets its name from the six connected all-sport lakes next to it. Amenities to the 105 full hook-up sites include boat rentals, boat docks and boat ramp, and a camp store. For more information, call 517-439-5660, visit www.6lakescampgrounds. com or like them on Facebook.
Located a half-mile outside of Morenci on 80 acres. It offers 300 campsites with varying amenities. Facility amenities include a clubhouse and camp store onsite, along with golf cart rentals and propane exchange. Green Valley Campground has a large pond with a manmade beach. The campground has several special events throughout the year including flea markets, Halloween and Fourth of July party. For more information, call 517-458-2596, visit www. greenvalleycamp.com or like them on Facebook.
Indian Creek Campground
Located at 9415 Tangent Rd. in Tecumseh, Indian Creek Campground opens for the season April 15 and features RV and tent sites, a camp store, laundry facilities, swimming pool and fishing. They also have many weekend activities for campers. For more information, call 517-4235659, visit www.indiancreekcampingmichigan. com or like them on Facebook.
Irish Hills Kampground
Located in U.S. 12 in Cement City. Amenities include a pool, paddle boats, arcade games, miniature golf, a playground and laundry. Hay rides and train rides are free for the kids every Saturday, and fishermen will love the 40-acre fishing lake. For more information, call 517-5926751, visit www.irishhillskampground.com or like them on Facebook.
Juniper Hills Campground
Located directly across from the Michigan International Speedway and has more than 2,000 sites for campers from tenters to the big RVs. Amenities include a retail store and onsite ice/wood/grocery/camper supply sales. For more information, call 888-396-8300, visit ww.juniperhills.com or like them on Facebook.
Tecumseh Center for the Arts and Tecumseh Youth Theatre are partnering once again to offer drama camps for two weeks in July!Viva La Villain! Embody a misunderstood villain character and bring them to life! Dive deep into character motivation, create your own version of a popular villain, and learn about theater in the process!
KICK
OFF
Each week will conclude with a performance on Friday evening at 7 pm. Family Discounts: Full price for first child, $20 off each additional child from the same household. Part of the TCA Michigan Homegrown Project. Click here to learn more. Sponsored in part by Michigan Council for Arts and Cultural Affairs. Learn more by contacting Tecumseh Center for the Arts at 517-423-6617 or visit us online at www.TheTCA.org. The Box Office is open Tuesday-Friday from noon until 5 pm.
3rd – 6th Grade Camp = SOLD OUT! July 8-12, 2019 from 9 am - 4 pm. (Limited to 40 spots | $125 per person) 7th-12 Grade: SPOTS STILL AVAILABLE July 15-19, 2019 from 9 am - 4 pm (Limited to 60 spots | $125 per person) Tech Camp (ages 12- 18): ONE SPOT REMAINS! July 8-11 from 12 -4 pm; July 12, 9 am - 4 pm (Limited to 10 spots | $60 per person)
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inspired Kids’ rooms that Inspire Creativity
Decorating kids’ rooms is an opportunity waiting to come to life! No where else can you mix and match a variety of paint schemes along with creative stencils, stickers, sparkles, and get away with it. Best of all, your kids can be involved in transforming their room into their own accomplishments while redecorating at the same time. Here are some creative ideas on decorating kid’s bedrooms: To help your kids stay organized, keep things at their height. Closet storage, benches and coat racks will all be used more often if kids can get to them easily. 40
Removable wall transfers are becoming increasingly affordable and the range of patterns and styles grows every day. Call them temporary wall tattoos and let your kid have fun decorating their room in a way you know you won’t have to fix later. Kids are collectors, so make collecting easy. Pictures and postcards don’t always have to be stuck to a corkboard. Try hanging them from strings in front of a window or clipping them to a string along the wall to create an interactive border in a room. All kids want display space. Galvanized metal is fairly inexpensive and can be purchased in sheets at most home improvement stores. Just mount on the wall and you have an instant magnetic board.
Check your local art and crafts store for peeland-stick cork. You can cut out any shape, simply peel off the backing and attach to any wall for fun pin-up space. Rather than a traditional growth chart, put a border around the room. Each month you can use non-toxic, water-based paint to put the child’s handprint in the border. Watch them grow together. Be sure to include multiple kinds of lighting in a kid’s room. Overall lighting is a necessity but so is a reading light. It may even help them find the bathroom in the middle of the night.
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Camp Courage June 22 • Ages 6 - 14
The loss of a loved one, whether a family member or special friend, is especially difficult for children. Children do not usually talk about their understanding of death and dying. Consequently, the sudden burden of coping with a loss can be both confusing and quite overwhelming. Hospice of Hillsdale County is now taking applications for our annual children’s grief camp, Camp Courage. Camp will be held on Saturday, June 22, 2019, at Kimball Camp in Reading. This is a FREE, one-day camp for children ages 6 through 14 who have lost a loved one. The scheduled activities include music therapy, stress relief therapy, crafts, swimming, hiking, and Classroom Critters. The children are served two (2) meals with snacks during the day. There will be a short memorial service with a “bubble launch” at the end of the day. Parents/guardians are welcome to attend the memorial service. Please call Hospice of Hillsdale County at 517-437-5252 to register your child for camp. Registration ends June 20.
Help GrievinG CHildren This
Ages 6 o 14 — Saturday, June 22, 2019 at Kimball Camp, Reading, MI.
• presenTATions
of funerAls And bereAveMenT,
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includinG A children’s Music
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• crAfT
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• fAce pAinTinG
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42
MeAls And snAcKs And ouTdoor fun
• sTress relief AcTiviTies
free To inTerAcT wiTh The
Registration ends June 20th. Call 517-437-5252 to register. Parents/Guardians are welcome to spend the day at camp with the children.
AcTiviTies providinG
boTh fun And heAlinG AspecTs
counselors Are presenT
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• swiMMinG Hospice of Hillsdale County 124 S. Howell Street, Hillsdale, MI 49242 Phone: 517-437-5252 • Fax: 517-437-5253 E-mail: hospiceofhillsdalecounty@gmail.com www.hospiceofhillsdalecounty.org
• bAlloon lAunch • A
cAndle-liGhT reMeMbrAnce
cereMony AT The end of The dAy
“A Soft, Gentle Approach to Grief”
take them swimming - weather or not!
kids menu OPEN SWIM DAILY - NOON - 5PM
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Rear-facing child seats It’s not just for babies!
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has long recommended that infants ride in rear-facing car seats, and in 2018 the AAP updated that recommendation to encourage rear facing for as long as possible, until a child reaches the highest weight or height allowed by the manufacturer. Most convertible car safety seats have limits that will permit children to ride rear-facing past the second birthday.
Why the Change?
This recommendation was based not only on motor vehicle crashes in which children died or were injured, but also from what we know about the anatomy of young children. Young children have large heads compared to their body size, and a high center of gravity. The vertebrae in their spine are more shallow, and their ligaments are looser. All of these factors increase the risk of a spine injury in a crash. In a sudden, violent stop, a rear-facing seat will cradle a child’s entire back and spread out the force of the crash, reducing the risk of serious injuries to the neck and spine.
More Evidence:
Children in other countries routinely ride rear-facing until age 4. Deaths and serious injuries to these children are extremely rare. While differences in car seats, vehicles, and driving conditions make it tricky to compare, data from those countries suggest that children in the U.S. are also best protected by riding rear-facing for as long as they can.
The Good News:
Over the years, car seat manufacturers have increased the weight and height limits on their rear-facing seats. This means that more children can ride rear-facing as they grow well into the toddler and preschool years. No matter which direction your child faces in the car, though, it is important to read and follow the instructions from your car seat manufacturer. A certified child passenger safety technician can help you figure out what is best for your child and your vehicle. Find one online from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration or Safe Kids Worldwide. Info found at www.healthychildren.org
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infants | children | adolescents
We are conveniently located nearby & would be delighted to have your child as our patient.
Nichole Ellis, D.O.
Most Insurances Accepted
Be a Voice for the Voiceless.
Become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) CASA volunteers work with foster children and advocate for their best interest in court. Volunteer Training Info session: July 2nd at 6pm RSVP to casaofhillsdale@gmail.com Volunteer Training: July 16 - August 15 Every Tuesday and Thursday at 6 - 9 PM www.casaofhillsdalecounty.com For more info: Contact Heather Upton Program Coordinator at (517) 425-4145
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Becker & ScrivenS concrete ProductS 517-437-4250
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fun By Melissa McCance
It’s almost here, folks! We’re at the peak of spring and summer is right around the corner. If you haven’t already done so, now is the time to finalize your big plans for July and August. But, make sure you leave some weekends open for spur-of-the-moment activities like trips to the lake, backyard barbecues, and picnics in the park. Because you want to make the most of your summer with a minimum of fuss, we’ve put together a list of ingenious apps designed to help you with food and fun. As always, we recommend that you browse reviews before installing any of these apps, especially if there’s a charge for downloading. 8,500+ Drink & Cocktail Recipes If you’re tired of trotting out the same drinks every time you entertain, download this free app that gives you—literally— thousands of choices. Rated 4.7 out of 5. Available for Android and iOS. GetMyBoat This app connects you with rentals and charters for fishing, surfing, scuba and rafting trips as well as equipment rentals (paddle boards, kayaks, boats, etc.), and more. We’re including it because several lists rated it highly, but be aware that user ratings vary widely. Be sure to read ALL the conditions of a rental or charter before you book! Rated 3.1 out of 5. Available for Android and iOS. Grill-It! Detailed instructions and recipes for grilled foods. Allows you to save favorite recipes and search by ingredients or keywords to locate the perfect recipe based on what you have on hand. Rated. 4.3 out of 5. Available for Android. GrillTime Tell this app the type of meat or poultry, thickness, and level of desired doneness and it recommends the correct grilling time and temperature. It will even prompt you when it’s time to flip your food! Rated 3.8 out of 5. Available for iOS.
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iExit When you’re on the road and you need gas, a meal, or a room for the night, the few options displayed on those signs leading up to the exits aren’t always appealing. This app shows what else is available and how far off the expressway you’ll need to go. Rated 4.8 out of 5. Available for Android and iOS. PackPoint Ever get to your destination and realize, “Oh, no! I should have brought a _____ !” This app generates a packing list for you based on where you’re going, what you’ll be doing, and the predicted weather for your travel region. Rated 3.9-4.6 out of 5. Available for Android and iOS. Picnic Planner If you love to go on picnics, this app is a must! Not only will it help you plan a picnic for 2 to 20 or more, but with Cloud Sync and Cloud Share, you can keep everyone included in the event up to date on location, menu, games, etc. Rated 5 out of 5. Available for Android. Project Noah If you want your children outdoors more in the summer, download this app and enjoy going on missions with them as they explore local flora and fauna. They don’t need to go any farther than the backyard, but you can certainly enjoy this app wherever you are. Available for Android and iOS.
RootsRated When you want to spend some time outdoors but are away from home and aren’t sure where to find your favorite activity, just consult this app. You’ll get the needed information about where, what, fees, and such as well as reviews from local experts. Rating unavailable, but favorable reviews are all over the web. Available for iOS. SkyGuide Long, leisurely summer nights contribute to a lot of stargazing. If you’d like to know what it is you’re seeing, download this app for a guide to the heavens. One fabulous feature: no need to orient yourself! Just hold your iPhone or iPad up and the app automatically aligns itself to the night sky above you. Rated 4.9 out of 5. Available for iOS.
Throughout our history, Gleaner Life Insurance Society has taken pride in recognizing members having certificates 50- and 75-years. These loyal, long standing members received their certificates when they were children. We continue this tradition by offering the Just For Kids® life certificate.1
Certificate features • Issued for children ages 1 month through age 17. • Face amount worth $10,000. • One time premium payment of $125 per application (purchase up to three certificates per child. Sets of twins and triplets are covered with just one payment of $125 for the first certificate, additional certificates are $125 per child).
• Convertible up to $50,000 face amount with no medical examination. • May be converted to a Gleaner permanent life certificate. » Option one allows the owner to convert to permanent life 30 days prior to the seventh certificate year anniversary.
Throughout our history, Gleaner Life Insurance Society has taken pride inrecognizing members having certificates 50- and 75-years. These loyal, longstanding members received their certificates when they were children. We continue this tradition by offering the Just For Kids® LIFe cerTIFIcaTe.
» Option two allows the owner to convert their certificate 30 days prior to the insured’s 18th, 21st or 25th birthday. If not converted, all coverage terminates on the certificate year anniversary that follows the insured’s 25th birthday.
Certificate requirements •
The applicant/owner of the certificate must be the child’s parent, grandparent or legal guardian. Other family members may wish to provide the premium.
•
The child’s parents, grandparents or legal guardian must be named beneficiary of the certificate.
Purchase up to three certificates You can purchase up to three certificates per child, for up to $30,000 of life insurance coverage. Simply complete an application for each $10,000 of coverage and pay $125 per application. We invite you to take advantage of this opportunity by completing the application(s), and mailing it with your one time premium payment of $125 per application made payable to Gleaner Life Insurance Society. If you need additional applications or information, call your Gleaner agent or our Home Office.
www.gleanerlife.org 5200 West U.S. Highway 223 Adrian, Michigan 49221 p 800.992.1894 | f 517.265.7745 Gleaner Life Insurance Society is domiciled in Adrian, Michigan, and licensed in AZ, FL, IA, IL, IN, KS, KY, MI, MO, NE, OH, TN and VA. 1
Certificate form: ICC14-JFK and state-specific variations. Rev. 3/17
thetayloragency@tayloragency.us | 517.265.2323 www.tayloragency.us | 203 N. Broad St., Adrian, MI 49221
Securities offered through Sigma Financial Corp., member FINRA/SIPC. The Taylor Agency and Gleaner are independent of Sigma Financial Corp.
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Founded in 1975, the Greater Hillsdale Humane Society is a no-kill shelter and operates as the only animal shelter in a small, rural community in southern Michigan and is dedicated to animal welfare. We are a 501(c)(3) non-profit and receive our financing from donations, fund raising, and adoption fees and DO NOT receive any funding from county, state, or federal entities nor are we subsidized by any organization. Our service to the animals depends completely on the generosity of the community and the committed, dedicated volunteers.
Greater Hillsdale Humane Society
Tue - Sat • Noon - 3 pm or by appt
517-523-2308
3881 S Tripp Rd • Osseo (8 miles SE of Hillsdale just off M34) Email: ghhs@frontier.com Web:hillsdale.petfinder.com
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Adopt - ReScue - Love - voLunteeR - donAte