The Weekend 3rd January 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

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WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR TIME AND MONEY

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FROM FRIDAY, JANUARY 3, 2014 ISSUE 85

Expert cider makers open up their cook book THE JEWEL OF GLOUCESTER ROAD

CULTURE FOR FREE IN BRISTOL

IT’S LARRY MILLER TIME

FUNNY SIDE OF MISSILE CRISIS

IDEAS

If you see one TV programme

Take the

plunge

If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

Competition: Win one of five Heritage Hunter Family Day Rover Tickets at the West Somerset Railway

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SHOPPING

TREASURE TROVE Independent of the week Part jewellery store and part gift shop, Artemis in Bishopston is packed with treasures. Kate Edser takes a tour.

he first thing to notice about Artemis is the astounding number of very pretty things on display. The second most striking point of interest, though some would no doubt argue the toss, is the equally beautiful Flynn. With rich auburn hair, a sleek, fit body and the most appealing brown eyes, he’s a show-stopper of a Cocker spaniel, who belongs to the shop’s joint proprietor, Carrie Mullan. Flynn, of course, only has eyes for his mistress, but his enthusiastic social skills add hugely to the shop’s appeal. Indeed, Carrie admits: “It is a very happy shop and Flynn helps to keep it that way. “People say he’s bribery and corruption because he gets people through the door and then they spend money. Flynn is the star of Artemis and definitely steals the show.” And so I begin to understand this shop’s many endearing qualities. Selling jewellery and gifts, there’s something to linger over at every turn, including all manner of unusual silver pieces,

ornaments, pottery, toiletries, bags, scarves and slippers, candles, paintings, cushions and umbrellas/parasols Silver jewellery is core to the business and to the mother-anddaughter silver-smithing and design team who run the show: Catherine Amesbury and her 23-year-old daughter Carrie. Explaining how the shop was born, Carrie says: “I started silver smithing when I was 10 as an extra curricular activity. “Mum was a health and beauty therapist but had always wanted to do something in fashion, so for her 50th birthday she launched her own range of jewellery, having started silver smithing lessons after me. “It was very much a kitchen table hobby, selling the jewellery in her clinic and at school fairs, and then we started doing at home events, which really took off. During an open house weekend we’d get between 1,000 and 1,500 people through the house during the three days, so we decided there was a market for what we were selling. “I came on board after I left college and we went into the old Woolworth’s building on Whiteladies Road four years ago.

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“We were there for just shy of two years when they gave us a month’s notice. We were out for a month or so while we got this place set up. We’ve been here two years and we have expanded downstairs.” The upper floor includes the workshop – with Flynn ensconced under one of the desks – where Carrie and her staff design and alter and advise. It’s the creative process that Carrie enjoys: “A customer can come in and adapt one of the pieces that I have made and they will give me a completely different take on it. It is constantly inspiring and the fact that we work with customers so much means it is a constantly evolving process. “The shop has always been part jewellery and part gifts. “The jewellery we design and

make mostly ourselves on site and what’s usual about it is that we have an instant commission service. None of our pieces on display would take longer than two hours to make, so if someone is desperate for something, we can have it ready at the end of the day.” That is particularly useful for gentlemen customers, as Carrie knows only too well: “If you’re looking for a gift for a man you might be stuck. Our homage to men is cufflinks and key rings and that’s about it, but men love shopping here. “Quite often they’ll say ‘I need help, I’m looking for a present and I have got to get it today’. It’s very common on the Saturday before Mother’s Day, on Christmas Eve and the day before Valentine’s Day.” Jewellery on display in the

top buys

shop is priced up to maximum of £240, although bespoke commissions can be significantly more. The silver is bought mainly from Thailand, New York and Mexico, while Fair Trade pottery comes from Sri Lanka, and lots of the gifts are from a Wiltshire company. What any visitor cannot fail to notice is that many items have a bird or heart theme – which is explained by Carrie’s love of the former and Catherine’s penchant for the latter. One of Carrie’s designs, the Bella necklace, for example, combines coloured pearls with a silver bird and bar fastening. This best-selling item retails for £115, but at the other end of the scale are much cheaper trinkets for just a few pounds. Carrie says: “We try and keep everything as reasonable as we

can. We wanted to bring in beautiful things that were also affordable so kids can come in with pocket money. “We sell a lot of the feather bird clips to children for £4. There are lots of little decorations for a few pounds, too, like the enamel hearts for £3 – it is the kind of thing you can put in a card and send in the post.” Finally, as a member of the North Bristol Arts Trail, Artemis also acts as a gallery for local artists, including Sarah Cowper and Cath Read.

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READY, STEADY ...GYM! Well, all that additional food, alcohol, partying and couch-potatoing had to come to an end eventually, and now it’s time to get back in shape. Whether you choose to hit the gym, head off for a run or get on your bike, do it in style.

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SoleLution

Finding the right shoe for your sole

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HIT THE SALES Christmas is over, the new year has arrived and the January sales have commenced!

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HEALTH&BEAUTY

MILLION DOLLAR SMILE Beauty A confident smile can work wonders, so its hardy surprisingly that we are turning to cosmetic procedures. Here, Bristol dentist Dr Nicola White explains the process of teeth whitening.

hitening is very popular and 80 per cent of my patients request it within an age range from 18 up to 65, women and men. Our teeth naturally darken over time as we get older and whitening is a safe way of being able to make your teeth naturally look cleaner, fresher and brighter. Our smile is very important, after all – teeth are one of the first things people notice about us. What, scientifically, happens to the teeth during whitening? Scientifically, whitening gels contain either hydrogen peroxide or carbamide peroxide. The mechanism of bleaching is brought about by a process called oxidation and it is this process which alters the organic yellow pigment in the dentine of the tooth to whiten it. Does it damage the teeth in any way? No, it is completely safe. The gels are a neutral pH, which means that, unlike the acidity of

fruit juice that damages enamel, the gels pass through the enamel and safely work on colour of the dentine. Is the process painful at all? Some sensitivity is to be expected during the whitening process and this usually occurs around the necks of the teeth where the gums have receded. Because of the oxidisation process, oxygen levels within the tooth are at their maximum after day three. Sensitivity then improves and resolves once you have ceased using the whitening gels after a day or two. There are various products that your dentist can advise you to use to help reduce sensitivity. How is the product applied? If you are whitening your teeth at home, custom-made trays are made, which sit tightly and comfortably around your upper and lower teeth. Gel is then placed in the trays and you wear them for a period of time in the day, or overnight. If you are having your teeth whitened with “power” whitening, often involving a light that activates the gel while you are sitting in the dentist’s chair,

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then your gums are protected and gel is painted on each tooth. Are there any potential side effects or risks to be aware of? Your dentist will need to ensure that you have no underlying dental decay, which could create pain within the tooth when the gel is applied, or cause a pre-existing condition to flare-up. You may not be suitable for the treatment if your teeth are already extremely sensitive as a result of enamel damage. People who have extensive and already-visible white spots on their teeth may not be able to whiten their teeth as the spot could become even more noticeable. Because there is insufficient evidence to suggest teeth whitening is safe while pregnant, we advise that you wait until after your baby is born. How long is the whitening process? The length of time it takes to

whiten your teeth is very dependent on how dark they are to begin with, together with patient compliance, such as not wearing the trays for the time specified by your dentist. It also depends on how porous the teeth are, ie, how well the gel is absorbed. Teeth which are more grey in colour tend to take longer to whiten. We usually expect to see results after two weeks, but this can increase to up to eight weeks, depending on the initial shade. Long term, it is recommended you use the whitening trays at home intermittently to maintain the lighter shade of your teeth. In the surgery, if you are having power whitening, the procedure can consist of two applications of gel in the one visit, each lasting 20 minutes. If you are whitening your teeth at home, this can be done for one to three hours, once or twice daily, or overnight.

Are there people whose teeth are unsuitable for whitening? If yes, is there an alternative? The main issue is if you already have very sensitive teeth due to poor enamel. You will need to be assessed. Also it’s worth considering your expectations; over and above a certain shade, “whiter” can only be achieved with restorations, such as porcelain veneers. The neck of a tooth around the gum margin needs to be protected from the gel to prevent irritation and soreness, so this will not lighten to the same extent as the main body of the tooth. This is something to consider if you have very noticeable gums when you smile. What is the cost of whitening? Home whitening costs in the region of £320 for both upper and lower teeth. Power whitening is approximately £600, including trays to use at home afterwards. What are the rules on who can

carry out teeth whitening? It is illegal for anyone other than a dentist or dental hygienist to whiten your teeth. A legal limit on percentage strength of whitening gels has been set at six per cent hydrogen peroxide, or 16 per cent carbamide peroxide. At present, dentists must not use anything stronger. Is the effect permanent, or do patients need top-up treatments to keep their teeth white? Top-ups are recommended every two to three months by wearing your whitening trays at home for one to two days. If you stopped this process, the teeth would eventually darken again. For a free teeth whitening consultation, visit Dr Nicola White or her colleague, Dr Catherine Spalding, at Beau Monde Dental Care, 35 North View, Westbury Park, Bristol, BS6 7PY, call 0117 330 3495, or email info@beaumondedental.co.uk

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DONATE YOUR WORKING ELECTRICALS and we’ll pick up your items for FREE Your unwanted electricals can help us ﬁght back against heart disease. We collect all sorts of items: • TVs, Hi-Fi’s • Washing machines, fridges • Small electrical items • Games consoles, docking stations

Call or book online at bhf.org.uk/collection 0844 417 9015* - Bedminster 0844 417 0612* - Kingswood Please don’t be disappointed if we are unable to accept items for reasons of safety or quality *Calls cost 6p per minute from a BT landline. landline. Charges from other providers and mobiles may vary. ©British Heart Foundation 2013, registered charity in England andWales (225971) and in Scotland (SC039426).

WIN

A HOLIDAY TO

Santa’s Lapland is offering a fantastic two-night family trip (2 adults and 2 children) to Lapland in December 2014. The winning family will experience all the delights of Lapland, including a snowmobile search for Santa, husky ride, sleigh ride and a private family meeting with Santa himself! TO ENTER all you need to do is ﬁnd the hidden elf in the Bristol Post or Western Daily Press who will be carrying a secret code for that day. Log on to www.bristolpost.co.uk/lapland and enter the code for a chance to win. A different code will be published in each issue until the 4th January 2014, so be sure to enter each day to maximise your chances of winning!

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Terms and Conditions: The holiday must be taken from 30 November 2014 -24 December 2014 and is subject to availability. The prize includes return economy ﬂights to Ivalo Airport from Bristol airport, subject to availability, with allocated seats, one piece of hold luggage per passenger (up to a maximum weight of 20kg per bag) and transfers from the airport to the hotel. Snow mobile search for Santa’s log cabin including lunch and refreshments, meet and greet with Santa, a gift for children aged 13 or under, husky sled drive/ride, reindeer sleigh ride, snow and ice activities, souvenir ‘driving licence’, Arctic circle certiﬁcate, and a gala dinner. For full terms and conditions visit www.bristolpost.co.uk/lapland.

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Enjoy a clearer viewâ&#x20AC;Ś. Do you hate your glasses and contact lenses? Have you considered a more permanent solution? For bespoke Laser Eye Surgery and a Consultant Delivered Service contact Bristol Laser Vision at Bristol Eye Hospital. web: www.bristollaservision.co.uk tel: 0117 342 1600

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GADGETS

Idea of the year: Phonebloks

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Idea of the year: Hello lamp post

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acebook made a big fuss with the launch of its new Graph Search feature early in the year, but since then it’s been somewhat quieter, seemingly letting its rivals surge ahead. Certainly, there are signs that teenagers are turning away from Facebook and towards simpler chat apps on their phones; Snapchat (www.snapchat.com) was huge this year, for example. But of course, Facebook is still a force to be reckoned with, and still has bucket-loads of money to spend. Talking of money, arch rival Twitter floated itself on the New York stock exchange, making co-founder Evan Williams a multi-millionaire for the umpteenth time. Tiny videos became a thing in 2013: Twitter launched Vine (www.vine.co) and Instagram (instagram.com) joined in too. Google’s efforts to catch up by launching its own social network, Google+, were not well received. It annoyed thousands

of YouTube users by insisting they use G+ for comments on the video site. More than anything, and more than ever, though, 2013 felt like the year the internet completed its slow invasion of daily life. What’s new isn’t so much that the internet is everywhere, doing everything, but that people are no longer surprised by that. No-one bats an eyelid if their

TV comes with wi-fi. No-one is shocked if their child starts school with a new uniform, a username, and a password. We’ve started paying for stuff with our phones, and writing a cheque feels like a task from the dark ages. We’ve grown accustomed to the net and it’s an integral part of our lives, whether we want it to be or not.

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Idea of the year: Ghost

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16 Weekend From Friday, January 3, 2014

DAY AT THE MUSEUM Days Out Start your new year with some free culture at one of Bristol’s excellent museums

f all the fun and festivities have left you short of cash and in need of a rest from rampant commercialism, why not join the happy throng who visit Bristol’s fabulous museums? Figures recently released by Visit England show Bristol Museums, Galleries and Archives are among the South West’s most visited tourist attractions. It’s no wonder – some of Bristol’s collections hold a mark of distinction, making them the most important collections not only in England, but in the world.

Jypz{vs U|zl|t huk Iy{ Ohssly Housed in the elegant and imposing Wills Memorial Building at the top of Park Street, Bristol Museum and Art Gallery is home to collections of regional, national and international importance, and is one of the few museums to have been awarded designated status by the Government – the mark of an outstanding museum. More than 20 galleries tell the story of our world: on the ground floor visitors can explore world culture by stepping back in time to ancient Egypt, studying archaeology and exploring the region’s natural wonders. The natural sciences section (on the second floor) invites visitors to take a journey through the last billion years of the history of the planet. You can also discover a sparkling world of minerals, gemstones and crystals, including the Bristol Diamond, and meet the Bristol dinosaur and some of his friends. The museum’s stunning art galleries are home to some real gems, including French, European, Victorian and modern British art. Jypz{vs U|zl|t huk Iy{ Ohssly Y|lluz Zvhk4 Jypz{vs4 J[@ 9ZT6 Wwlu Uvukh {v Nypkh 4 98ht {v =wt4 [h{|ykh huk [|ukh 4 98ht {v >wt6 Nyll hktpzzpvu6 U zolk Showcasing the history of Bristol and what life is like in the city today, M shed gives a sense of real Bristol and

explores the things that make the place special, from our food and dialect, to a passion for street parties. From prehistoric times to the present day, visitors can discover the people, stories, objects and events that made Bristol the city it is today. There’s plenty for all ages to explore, including a gigantic aerial view of the city, an iconic green Lodekka bus and two working steam engines that offer visitors the chance of a ride along the historic dockside. Visitors can also view amazing films and photographs and listen to moving personal stories. U zolk _hwwpun Zvhk4 Xypujlz _ohym4 Jypz{vs4 J[9 <ZV6 Wwlu \|lzkh {v Nypkh 4 98ht {v =wt4 [h{|ykh huk [|ukh 4 98ht {v >wt4 jsvzlk vu Uvukh z6 Nyll hktpzzpvu6

Jshpzl Khz{sl Pv|zl U|zl|t Housed in a late 18th-century mansion situated in acres of beautiful parkland, Blaise Castle Museum contains most of Bristol’s social history collections. More than 50,000 items are displayed, illustrating how households have changed over time, from dog wheels to kitchen ranges, rush lights to street lighting, fire grates to gas stoves, and unusual early cleaning appliances. Jshpzl Khz{sl Pv|zl U|zl|t Plui|y Zvhk4 Jypz{vs4 J[98 ?Y[6 Wwlu [h{|ykh z huk [|ukh z4 986;8ht {v <wt6 Nyll hktpzzpvu6 Spunz _lz{vu Zvthu ^pssh An often overlooked gem, Kings Weston Roman Villa invites you to explore how Romans used to live, right on Bristol’s doorstep. View the Roman bath suite, see stunning mosaic floors and discover Roman central heating! Kings Weston Roman Villa opens with a key from Blaise Castle House Museum (during opening hours) and Bristol Museum and Art Gallery. Spunz _lz{vu Zvthu ^pssh Tvun Kyvzz4 Spunz _lz{vu Zvthu ^pssh4 Th~ylujl _lz{vu4 Jypz{vs4 J[99 8TX6 Iktpzzpvu myll4 i|{ h ô= klwvzp{ pz ylx|pylk mvy {ol rl 6

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Reviews by Mark Taylor

Lunch An authentic taste of the Middle East [v|r Sp{jolu :?? Vvy{o [{yll{4 Jlktpuz{ly4 Jypz{vs4 J[; 9RX6 \lsB 899? A>> >@@86

Dinner with the family Award-winning pizza Th Xph h < Ppno [{yll{4 \ovyui|y 4 J[;= :IY6 \lsB 89<=< <9<=886

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Contemporary Italian dining at Filini bar & restaurant, Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol Fresh and mouthwatering dishes from the heart of Italy and Sardinia

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Wine of the week Chateau Barbier Sauternes 2005

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EATING IN COOK THY ZIDER Recipe Gwatkins cider and parsnip soup

ith a total of 14 local ciders and eight perries, award-winning Herefordshire cider makers Gwatkin Cider is rightly proud of its cider making heritage. It all started in 1992, when Dennis Gwatkin and his dad made a single barrel of perry, just for their own tippling, and the rest is history. Dennis says: “One day a certain Jon Hallam pulled up in the yard and after we’d given him a glass of perry, he was so impressed that he wouldn’t leave until we sold him five gallons. “Then the telephone started ringing and now we barrel quite a lot – 10,000

gallons this year. We’ve also won quite a few awards for our ciders and perries, and we now have an additional string to our bow – the Down on the Farm Festival, which we hold every July.” Gwatkin’s ciders are widely available in the South West, but if you can’t find the Kingston Black cider required for this recipe, you can substitute it with the Somerset Cider Brandy Company’s Burrow Hill Kingston Black, which is available at Cork’s of Cotham, on Cotham Hill. Recipe from Made in Herefordshire: Inspiring recipes using the very best Herefordshire produce, £20 (hardback), available from www.recipesmadehere.co.uk

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From Friday, January 3, 2014

Weekend 23

Melting pot of flavours in peri-peri poussins

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EATING IN

o chef and restaurateur Cyrus Todiwala, Mumbai will always be Bombay; the city of his childhood and the land that cultivated his love of food. Growing up in this vibrant metropolis, Cyrus was always surrounded by the diverse dishes cooked by his mother, aunt, neighbours and the multitude of street stalls that still influence his cooking today. The new book, Mr Todiwala’s Bombay, is Cyrus’ gastronomic tour of the city that shaped his culinary career, while many of the dishes were inspired by other cultures and cuisines. The peri-peri chicken of Goa is named after the Piri-Piri or bird’s eye chilli, brought to Goa by the Portuguese from South America. They also planted it in Mozambique and Angola and it now thrives in many parts of Africa. The Goans changed the style of the original peri-peri chicken, which was simply cooked in a paste of crumbled red chillies, lime juice and lots of garlic. The same chilli is also the base for the famed Goan pork vindaloo, derived from another Portuguese dish of meat and wine (which evolved into vinegar and then the spices, including the fiery chillies, were added). Recipe from Mr Todiwala’s Bombay by Cyrus Todiwala, Hardie Grant (hardback), £25.

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TRAVEL

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A CITY OF TWO TALES UK breaks Rob Stokes headed for a weekend break in London and had two brilliant, but contrasting days

rom a hundred yards away it looked as if people were lining the bridge to look at the river. But from 50 yards it became clear their interest had nothing to do with the water. They were peering down but at a series of carpet samples placed at regular intervals along the length of Westminster Bridge. And in broad daylight with the Houses of Parliament less than a stone’s throw away, scores of people were betting on the outcome of the three cup trick. There were more people standing looking at these impromptu games of chance than there were taking pictures of the London Eye. The men, and they were all men, held crisp £10 and £20 notes in their fingers and kept glancing furtively to their left and right ready to scoop up their cups and carpets tiles at a moment’s notice if police appeared. This was a sight strangely at odds with

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London. It looked more like a scene from a street in Marrakesh. Perhaps that is what makes London special. After more than 40 years of visits, it remains ever-changing and full of surprises. And once you are there so much of it is free. Take the National Portrait Gallery. We found ourselves in there along with many other people escaping from a sudden afternoon downpour. “Just one more room and we’ll go,” said a mum to her collection of tired, clearly unimpressed young girls. Perhaps she hadn’t realised what it has taken me a long time to appreciate – that it is best to take these visits in small bites. Trying to see and do everything is a recipe for cultural overload. I was happy sticking to the portraits from 1900 onwards and, in particular, those of the late 20th century. A full-length Judi Dench dominated one

wall and there was a brilliant painting of former Prime Minister Harold Wilson peering out from behind clouds of smoke from his trademark pipe. Downstairs was a room of Bob Dylan watercolours and in the basement were photos for sale. I quite fancied the one of Dylan waiting for the Aust ferry in 1966. But, heavens, it was more than £1,600. Nearby was one of those streets that it is hard to believe still exist – pedestrianised and lined with bookshops, stores selling prints, rare posters and antiques. Stepping into Cecil Court was like stepping out of the 21st century. There was a touch of Diagon Alley about it. And it was enchanting. One shop had a collection of old railway prints, another had a window filled with first editions of books including Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. It seemed to operate at a gentler pace than the bustling streets

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that crossed it at either end. It seems that, no matter where you go in London, you will always be drawn back to the Thames. And so an hour or so later we found ourselves strolling along the South Bank after stretching our legs across one of the Golden Jubilee footbridges. It’s always busy, noisy, vibrant and colourful there. The street magicians, guitarists and uni-cyclists were drawing crowds despite the late afternoon drizzle. But out of the wet a few yards from the Royal Festival Hall and nestling beneath arched concrete bridge supports was a huge second hand book sale. People were packed around trestle tables turning over paperbacks lined up in their hundreds. Like Cecil Court, it seemed amazing to find such a thing in the heart of London. Even in the age of Kindles, nothing beats a real book. We browsed and browsed, turning over Agatha Christies and Ian Flemings quietly, while London whirled around us. When it comes to staying in London, most of us surely want somewhere that is comfortable, convenient and welcoming. We were lucky in having all of those things at the four-star Chiswick Moran Hotel. It is literally less than a minute from the Chiswick turn off on the M4. So, if you are driving from Bristol, it is in the perfect place. Within a few minutes we had parked the car, checked-in and were strolling to the Gunnersby tube station just a minute away.

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Obviously there are thousands of places to eat in London, but that evening we had a really lovely meal back at the hotel’s 1960s style Napa restaurant. To be honest, we only just made it back in time after calling into neighbouring Hammersmith’s Cineworld to see Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine. We came out, missed the bus back and then walked at a fairly brisk pace ringing the hotel on the way to apologise for being late. They were great about it, and within a couple of minutes of arriving, we were sitting down to a superb meal. The set menu of three courses comes in at £24 per head. We had baked cod for our main course followed by warm peaches and vanilla sauce. It was simply delicious. You would really struggle to match the quality and the price anywhere else in the capital. The Chiswick Moran is an airy, tastefully decorated, welcoming hotel. The rooms are spacious, light and comfortable, with a Sixties theme and finished with real class. The great thing about London is that you can have two completely contrasting days in one weekend. The following morning we went to nearby Kew Gardens, about a 20-minute walk from the hotel – or 40 minutes if you go the wrong way and wander up and down streets of pleasant but outrageously expensive Victorian terraces. It is years since I had been to Kew and I had forgotten how extraordinary it is. A World Heritage Site, it covers 300 acres on the edge of the capital and beneath the flight path for Heathrow airport. Yet despite planes going over every couple of minutes, it is remarkably tranquil. Apart from the famous Palm House, which looks like a giant glass submarine, and the myriad of trees and formal lawns, there has been since 2008 the Tree Top Walkway. This ingenious metal structure circles 59 feet in the air and takes you literally to the top of surrounding trees as well as giving stunning views across the park. It really is brilliant fun and, if you cannot manage the four flights of open stairs to the top, there is a lift. Back down on the ground, do stroll across Sackler Crossing, a bridge built of black granite edged by scores of flat bronze rectangular posts. Look at it from the side and the metal uprights fade into the background. It’s quite brilliant. We had spent a genuinely relaxing four hours at Kew. We could easily have stayed there all day, but the motorway beckoned. Just time for a final visit to the orangery for tea and cakes; a chance to dodge the showers and gaze out at a wonderfully English and unchanging piece of London. It could not have provided a greater contrast to the cosmopolitan gambling games on Westminster Bridge just over 24 hours before. Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

HUGE

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All departures escorted by a Miles Morgan Travel Cruise Escort Contact our Cruise Specialists today; Clifton - 20 Princess Victoria Street Portishead - 2 The Precinct

www.milesmorgantravel.co.uk Tel: 0117 223 2242 Also branches in: Abergavenny • Cheltenham • Chepstow • Malmesbury • Monmouth • Nailsworth • Ross-on-Wye • Taunton • Wells • Yeovil Prices are based on 2 sharing, are subject to availability and can be changed at any time and include a 10% saving when booked by 28th February 2014. +Free taxi on Bristol departures applies within a certain radius of Avonmouth and minimum spend. *Save up to 30% is based on Buy one cruise and save 10%, Buy 2 cruises and save 20% on both cruises, buy 3 cruises and save 30% on all new bookings made by 28th February 2014. see our website for full terms and conditions on this offer. †Special single savings apply to selected cabin grades on selected departures.

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MUSIC

The guy who was born to play guitar OQO WN \PM _MMS Thyy Upssly Jhuk \ol \|uulsz4 Nypkh Rhu|hy ;6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

hen he was just an inquisitive child picking up his brother’s guitar for the first time, Larry Miller wrote his first song. From that pivotal early encounter, he knew then that his future lay in rock music. “I just knew immediately that this was what I was put on the planet for,” says Miller, who has gone on to make a name for himself as one of the finest blues rock guitarists on the scene and who is often described as the natural successor to Rory Gallagher and Gary Moore. Miller firmly believed that his future was going to be in rock music after hearing some of the guitar greats, including Jimi Hendrix, Rory Gallagher, Johnny Winter, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Gary Moore. “For me, my moment of inspiration was seeing Rory

Gallagher live. I had never experienced anything like it. “So loud, so gloriously on the edge of total mayhem, yet Rory was still totally in control. How could I not want to do this, too? “Like Rory, I wanted to work under my own name, with a band, and I knew from the outset that I wanted to do all the writing, singing, producing, playing and leading.” Very quickly, Miller found his own blues/rock style, and has been constantly refining it. He is a guitarist, singer and songwriter, with a love for his music, which is simply infectious. Miller is now more popular than ever and is undeniably one of the must-see blues/rock acts. He is famous for

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his mesmerising guitar playing and high octane shows in the UK and around Europe, bringing his unique showmanship and energy to every performance. He holds the record for the most encores at The Cambridge Rock Festival, and plays to capacity crowds and standing ovations. Miller has been broadcast live from The Great British R&B Festival on BBC Radio 2 and has headlined The Rory Gallagher International Festival in Ireland and Holland. Like many of his heroes and contemporaries, Miller achieves his unique sound by playing his Gibson Les Paul, Fender Stratocaster and Telecaster guitars through Marshall

amplification. He says: “Like many guitar greats, I have used Marshall for years as it gives me exactly what I need for my live shows, and I am proud to be sponsored by Marshall.” Miller is back on the road this month to play songs from his latest critically-acclaimed live double album, Live & Outlawed, plus songs from 2012’s On The Edge and his back catalogue of studio albums. He recently toured with American artists Johnny Winter and Walter Trout and the current line-up of the Larry Miller Band features bassist Allan Penford and ex-Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull) dummer Scott Hunter. His Bristol show at The Tunnels is sure to create plenty of interest from fans of classic rock and fellow guitarists and advance tickets are recommended, as the gig is likely to sell out on the night. David Marks

! LE SA M OW N A R O 10 OR M TO & MORE TO BE ANNOUNCED!

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ADVERTORIAL

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ormed in 2006, Miles Morgan Travel has 12 branches throughout the South West and Wales and has recently been voted the UK’s Best Travel Agent. They pride themselves in their customer service and the expert knowledge of their teams. As a main agent for Fred. Olsen Cruise Lines they can ensure that you get the very best price on all cruises departing from Avonmouth with the added benefit of a private return taxi from your own front door* There are four stunning itineraries to choose from for 2014 on-board the popular ship Boudicca and Miles Morgan Travel are delighted to have one of their experienced Cruise Escorts on every sailing to ensure that their customers have

all the help that they need every step of the way. With their January sale you can save up to 30% on these cruises. Book one Fred. Olsen Cruise and save 10%, book two cruises and save 20% on both cruises, book three and save 30% on all three* That’s an amazing deal! A cruise that is proving to be the hot favourite with our customers is the 28 night Adriatic and Venice sailing on 17th May 2014 with its fabulous itinerary. Admire the spectacular scenery as you cruise through the Bay of Kotor, take time to absorb the beauty of the city of Dubrovnik, an overnight stay in the romantic city of Venice gives ample time to explore the waterways and beautiful architecture. From Piraeus, take a tour to Athens to

see Acropolis with its splendid views out over the centre of the city, again with an overnight. Prices of this cruise start at less than £75* per person per day! Cruising is a popular choice for single travellers and now people who chose to travel alone will find many cruises with no single supplement in the new Solo brochure from Fred. Olsen – call today for your copy on 0800 0124 529. Miles Morgan Travel has been escorting customers on Fred. Olsen ships for years and many return year after year and are welcomed on board by crew who not only remember their name but also their favourite tipple! Isn’t it time that you tried?

* Terms and conditions apply please see our website of ask a member of our team for full details.

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Backwell School Community Courses January 2014

Open near you. If you have not studied with The Open University before, this event is for you! Come along for an informal conversation to get answers to your questions about courses, study methods and other aspects about learning with the OU. Just drop in – no appointment necessary.

Thursday 23 January 2014 17:00 – 19:00 The Open University in the South West 4 Portwall Lane, Bristol, BS1 6ND

Find out more.

call 0845 300 6090

www.opennearyou.co.uk

The Open University is incorporated by Royal Charter (RC 000391), an exempt charity in England and Wales and a charity registered in Scotland (SC 038302).

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FILM Zl}pl~zB Lhtvu [tp{o

True 18th-century tale twisted beyond recognition Npst vm {ol ~llr <? ZWVQV 09:I4 99A tpuz1

ast meets west with a flurry of digital trickery in 47 Ronin, an ill-conceived martial arts epic inspired by the real-life tale of a group of samurai, who doled out justice in 18th-century Japan to avenge their master. While the original story is tightly woven into Japanese culture and has been passed down through the generations, Carl Rinsch’s lavish spectacle will quickly be forgotten. The film’s reported 170 million dollar budget has been invested in gorgeous production design and endless costumes. Beneath all of the lustrous packaging though, 47 Ronin is little more than a hoary B-movie with little interest in the nuances of Tokugawa-era Japan. Screenwriters Chris Morgan and Hossein Amini turn to sorcery to spice up their emotionally starved narrative, and call upon the warlocks of the special effects department to conjure a horned monster, a mythical dragon and a shape-shifting witch out of the ether. The desecration of revered source material is complete by casting Keanu

40 Weekend From Friday, January 3, 2014

Reeves as the vacuous hero, and gifting lifeless, stilted English dialogue to some of Japan’s best loved actors. Reeves plays outcast Kai, who is taken in by kindly Lord Asano (Min Tanaka) despite the other subjects labelling him a demon. Kai grows up a sensitive soul and catches the eye of Asano’s spirited daughter, Mika (Ko Shibasaki), but he realises their romance across the social divide is doomed. “I will always love you but you have your place and I have mine,” he laments. Mika’s heartache turns to anguish when scheming Lord Kira (Tadanobu Asano) uses a high-profile visit from Shogun Tsunayoshi (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) to besmirch Lord Asano’s reputation. The Shogun orders Asano to commit seppuku – ritual suicide by disembowelment – to avoid bringing shame upon his house, then permits Mika one year to mourn before she must marry Kira and thereby unite the two kingdoms. Kuranosuke Oishi (Hiroyuki Sanada) and Asano’s samurai guards are now masterless “ronin” and Kira banishes them to the wilderness. These brave warriors vow

revenge but, to get close to their enemy, they must place their trust in Kai before overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles, including Lord Kira’s most deadly ally, a wicked sorceress called Mizuki (Rinko Kikuchi). 47 Ronin could be Slash Of The Titans considering how much emphasis director Rinsch places on fantastical elements and action-packed skirmishes. Reeves has never been the most expressive actor and here he is practically zombified, struggling to convince us of his forbidden desire for Mika. Kikuchi loosely embraces her role as the pantomime villainess, complete with different coloured eyes, but doesn’t once feel like a lethal threat to Oishi and his brethren.

Verdict \opz pss5jvujlp}lk thy{phs hy{z lwpj pz h wvz{5Koypz{thz {|yrl 6 <798

A heartbreaking journey into solitude and mortality Npst vm {ol ~llr Iss Qz Tvz{ 09:I4 98> tpuz1

ona fide movie stars are a rare commodity in Hollywood, but Robert Redford has been burning bright for more than 50 years in iconic films including Barefoot In The Park, Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid, The Sting, All The President’s Men, Out Of Africa. Looking back over those performances, it’s hard to believe the Californian-born actor has never been feted at the Academy Awards. Admittedly, Redford collected a statuette as Best Director of Ordinary People, but when it comes to his work in front of the camera, plaudits have been scarce. All Is Lost might be the film to right that wrong. Written and directed by JC Chandor, whose debut Margin Call was a tautly paced drama set on the floor of a Wall Street investment bank, this lean, nail-biting thriller required the 76-year-old actor to perform many of his own stunts. He is in almost every single frame and apart from a couple of lines spoken into a

yacht’s malfunctioning radio, Redford has to convey his stricken character’s inner turmoil without uttering a word. The film opens on a July 13, approximately 1,700 nautical miles from the Sumatra Straits, with an unnamed sailor (Redford) preparing to surrender his soul to the sea. “I fought to the end,” he whispers in voiceover, “I’m not sure what that’s worth, but know that I did...” We glide back in time eight days to find the same sailor midway through a voyage across the Indian Ocean. His 39-foot yacht collides with a wayward metal container, which has been shed from a cargo vessel. The yacht’s hull is breached but the captain patches up his craft and continues his journey. Mother Nature is cruel though, and throws up a storm that batters the boat and leaves the sailor with dwindling food and water supplies. As sharks circle the stricken vessel, the sailor must use celestial navigation to chart a course back to humanity via the nearby shipping lanes. All Is Lost touches on similar themes to

Alfonso Cuaron’s blockbuster Gravity – solitude, mortality, the indomitability of the human spirit – albeit without the whizz-bang digital effects. Redford delivers a mesmerising solo performance. Every emotion is etched on his face and at every heartbreaking turn, we understand the churn of emotions beneath his wind-battered surface. Chandor orchestrates action sequences with aplomb, contrasting the sound and fury of the storm with the eerily beautiful calm of fish moving beneath the yacht. “I tried to be strong,” he tells us in voiceover. We try to be too, but tears born of frustration eventually flow.

Verdict Khz{ hkypm{ ~p{o Zlkmvyk vu {opz |umvynl{{hisl qv|yul 4 ~l wyh mvy zhs}h{pvu4 l}lu ~olu {ol shz{ mspjrly vm ovwl ohz illu l {pun|pzolk6 A798

From Friday, January 3, 2014

Weekend 41

Walter’s real life becomes as outlandish as his fantasies Zl}pl~ \ol [ljyl{ Tpml vm _hs{ly Up{{ 0XO4 99< tpuz1

owards the end of The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty, a respected photojournalist sits motionless on a mountainside in Afghanistan, staring intently through a lens as a rare snow leopard slinks into view. “Beautiful things don’t ask for attention,” coos the snapper, transfixed by the elusive big cat in its treacherous habitat. Ironically, Ben Stiller’s contemporary remake of James Thurber’s short story does demand attention with its flashy slow-motion dream sequences and rousing soundtrack courtesy of Arcade Fire, David Bowie and Icelandic indie-folk band Of Monsters And Men. The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty charts the misadventures of a dreamer, whose imagination conjures fantastical adventures to offset the gloom of his humdrum reality. A 1947 film version starring Danny Kaye deviated significantly from the source text to showcase the verbal and physical dexterity of the leading man. Stiller’s incarnation isn’t a one-man vanity piece to the same degree but it does rely heavily on the actor-director to shoulder the burden of comedy and

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

romance through various madcap interludes. Overall, the innate sweetness and whimsy of Steve Conrad’s script should go down a treat after the excesses of the festive season. Walter (Stiller) processes the negatives for respected magazine Life, taking care with each image, especially the work of globe-trotting photographer Sean O’Connell (Sean Penn). Throughout the day, Walter “zones out” and imagines declarations of love to pretty colleague Cheryl (Kristen Wiig), who seems oblivious to his existence. Arriving for work one morning, Walter learns that the magazine is being shut down to make way for the digital revolution of Life.com. Corporate toad Ted Hendricks (Adam Scott) is hired to oversee the “transition” and he rides roughshod over disgruntled staff. For the front cover of the final issue, Sean sends a special image but the negative goes astray. “It’s a big deal,” gasps Walter’s assistant Hernando (Adrian Martinez), “you lost a Sean O’Connell!” Reluctantly, Walter abandons his mother Edna (Shirley MacLaine) and sister Odessa (Kathryn Hahn) to embark on a life-altering

quest to track down Sean in Greenland. Stiller is inherently likeable and doesn’t shamelessly curry sympathy in early sequences when Walter is abused by Ted and his cronies. The inevitable showdown between the two men doesn’t produce the fireworks we expect or the film needs, and the romantic subplot with Wiig simmers but fails to come to the boil. The speed with which Walter’s real life becomes just as outlandish as his fantasies is surprising. Walter’s last-gasp escape from an erupting volcano is one thing, but to fend off a frenzied shark attack using a battered briefcase doesn’t just take the biscuit, it takes the entire tin. Plausibility overboard!

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The secret life of Kristen Wiig She shot to fame with Bridesmaids, and Kristen Wiig’s honeymoon of success goes on. The actress and writer tells Keeley Bolger about daydreaming, spending time at home and why she learnt so much from her Walter Mitty co-star Ben Stiller.

aking on a David Bowie song is a bold ask for anyone, let alone someone who doesn’t consider themselves a natural singer, like Kristen Wiig, for instance. The actress, best known as reluctant maid of honour Annie in 2011’s hit comedy Bridesmaids, covers Space Oddity in her new film, The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty. She’s just relieved that Bowie hasn’t lambasted her version – yet. “Singing was really fun,” says the 40-year-old, laughing. “I don’t consider myself a professional singer by any means, but we recorded at the Electric Lady in New York, which was incredible. “I’m a huge Bowie fan, so I hope he approves. I haven’t heard from him yet!” The film – based on a short story by James Thurber, first published in 1939 – focuses on Mitty (Ben Stiller), a man who escapes his anonymous life by daydreaming. But it’s not long before he finds himself thrown into the real world, with a very real love interest in kindly colleague Cheryl (Wiig). To help get the creative juices flowing, Wiig watched old classics, like The Apartment and Local Hero. Stiller, however, had other ideas: “Oh my gosh, he was like, ‘Let’s watch Zoolander, The Cable Guy...’ – all his movies!” Like the story’s protagonist, the actress admits that she often finds herself drifting off into fantasy land. “All the time,” she admits, nodding. “More than I should. My mind just goes all over the place. “I think we all daydream and find ourselves thinking about things that have nothing to do with the situation.” But unlike the majority of us, Wiig’s life really has become somewhat of a fantasy over the past couple of years. Raised in New York and Pennsylvania, she initially embarked on an art course at the University Of Arizona, and took an acting class on a whim. A teacher suggested she take it up professionally and, on their advice, Wiig dropped out of college and headed to Los Angeles where she joined The Groundlings, the legendary improvisation company which boasts the likes of Will Ferrell and Melissa McCarthy as former alumni. She started making a name for herself in her early thirties, when she joined Saturday Night Live (SNL). Unfailingly polite and pleasant, the softly-spoken star is a world away from her celebrated SNL impersonations, which include Drew Barrymore, Barbie, Jamie Lee Curtis and Bjork. After a few small but memorable roles, notably as Katherine Heigl’s passive aggressive

colleague Jill in 2007’s Knocked Up, Wiig had her breakthrough in the form of Bridesmaids, the sparkling comedy she co-wrote with long-time friend Annie Mumolo, about a group of mismatched women who find themselves thrown – hilariously – together for a mutual pal’s wedding. “My life has changed a lot [since Bridesmaids],” admits the actress. “I’m very grateful to have the opportunities I’ve had because of that film. It was an amazing experience.” There may not be much spare time for Wiig at the moment but she’s pleased with how her busy career is panning out. Although she’s previously ruled out a sequel to Bridesmaids, she and Mumolo, who met years ago at The Groundlings, are still writing. “Me and Annie are figuring out what we’re writing right now, but we’re starting,” she reveals. And watching Stiller, who also directed The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty, has fuelled her interest in taking to the coveted director’s chair too. “I’ve been wanting to direct for a really long time. Watching someone like Ben, who’s done it so many times and is starring in the movie as well, was very inspiring.” That said, she isn’t sure how much multitasking she’d like to do. “I don’t know if I would be in a movie that I directed, probably not the first one, it just seems like a lot to handle,” she admits. “I don’t really know how Ben could have done so much on this whole project. “He was intensely involved with every single aspect of the movie, wearing all these hats, and then he’d step into the scene as an actor, too. I learned a lot from him.” The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty isn’t the only movie she pops up in over the festive period. As a huge fan of Anchorman, she was thrilled when she landed a role in Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues as Chani, the object of Steve Carell’s affections, who wears a rather distracting permed wig. “That wig is a whole different character in that movie,” she says, laughing. “I loved it. I mean, I love those guys and it was a really great experience, and the outfits were really fun. “The first film is one of my all time favourites, so it was very exciting.” But for all the fame and success she’s enjoyed in recent years, it’s not on the red carpet that she’s happiest, it’s home. “I haven’t had a lot of time off recently but [when I do] I’d like to visit my family and go home,” Wiig says, smiling. “That’s the best thing to do.”

From Friday, January 3, 2014

Weekend 43

THEATRE \olh{yl4 hy{ huk jvtlk i [{l}l _ypno{

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ver the past ten years, local theatre company Ministry of Entertainment re-awakened plenty of memories of Bristol’s recent past with their wonderful plays, which mix period music with storylines based on hundreds of memories of 1940s and 1950s Bristol. MoE’s first trilogy was set during the Second World War in Bristol, and followed a handful of city folk getting through the war as best they could via a doughty mix of dignity and humour, offset by some of the most recognisable tunes of the era. Three further plays took us through the 1950s. The logical next step for MoE, then, was the 1960s – and their next show takes us to the beginning of that turbulent decade. Celebrating their 15th year of touring, the MoE return with Normal Service Will Be Resumed..., a show set at a time when the world looked on anxiously in fear of nuclear apocalypse. It’s now 1962, and things are not looking good. Kennedy and Khrushchev are about to collide over Cuba – but the real trouble is brewing thousands of miles away, deep below the surface of Bristol. In a top-secret location, studio assistant Skippy Catford cheerily mops away 20 years’ worth of dust

Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89< 44WeekendNyvt 44 From Friday, January 3, 2014

and grime from the BBC’s emergency wartime studio. All the while, she daydreams about Stanton Drew (geddit?), the voice of wartime Britain and everybody’s favourite velvet-voiced radio celebrity. Broadcasting to the nation, Drew’s velvety tones and cut-glass accent help keep the country’s collective chin up during these anxious times. But, when the Cold War suddenly heats up, Stanton and Skippy are trapped underground with nothing but a pair of coconut shells and a swanee whistle to keep themselves amused. Chaos reigns – and the fate of the nation’s morale is in the hands of this ill-assorted duo. MoE’s latest offering promises their usual delicious blend of period songs and madcap comedy. Starring MoE co-founder Kate McNab and her regular co-star Ross Harvey, it is written by prolific Bristol playwright Mike Akers, who has written for Bristol Old Vic and Tobacco Factory Theatres among others, and features music by Kit Morgan. “Having done three shows set in the 1940s and another three in the 1950s, I thought it was time to move on into the 1960s,” Kate explains. “Then I started wondering where we could set this one. One day, I saw an advert for Clifton Rocks Railway Open Day,

which caught my imagination – and so Normal Service is set down a tunnel! “And the Cuban Missile Crisis forms the backdrop to the drama, in which two characters from very different backgrounds are thrown together in a confined space and have to get on with the job in hand. “In keeping with our usual methods, we collected a lot of oral history from those who remember the early Sixties. “They were a different era from what came a little later – we hadn’t really arrived at the Swinging Sixties yet!” An additional attraction for Kate was that the new show drew on an era that she herself could recall. “It was a nostalgic experience trawling through the hits of ’62. I particularly liked Might As Well Rain Until September by the young Carole King. “Elsewhere, one of my interviewees had Mr Pastry [the comic creation of actor/comedian Richard Hearne: an old man with a walrus moustache, dressed in a black suit or raincoat and with a trademark bowler hat] present an actual Austin car to his father who won first prize in a competition. Another person remembered his ‘gang’ eating daffodil bulbs because a rumour had gone round that they gave you a high. Innocent times!”

Right from meeting staff at the

open day

‘THE ULTIMATE FEEL GOOD SHOW’ MANCHESTER EVENING NEWS

‘The magic of dance works wonders. ‘An evening of rollicking entertainment.

AN EXUBERANT MUSICAL’ A REAL HEARTWARMER’ SUNDAY EXPRESS

DAILY TELEGRAPH

at Clifton High School, and ever since, our son and daughter have developed in confidence and become

motivated & inspired in their learning. as Adam

as Milly

Be a part of something special: Entrance Examinations: Saturday 18th and 25th January 2014

realising individual brilliance...

0117 933 9087 www.cliftonhigh.bristol.sch.uk

L WITH VOURITE MUSICAPE RS! THE ALL-TIME FA OP ST SHOW SIXTEEN SMASH HIT t 18 JAN Tue 14 - Sa * * 0844 871 3012 atgtickets.com/bristol *Booking/transaction fees

apply

For further information, including casting and additional dates visit SevenBridesTheMusical.com

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

LISTINGS �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� ’� �� “��’� �� ’ �� ” �� “�� ” � �� ’ �� ’� ��

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Don’t miss Talon

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TWO GREAT SHOWS FOR JANUARY WORLD STAGE PREMIERE FROM THE No.1 BEST-SELLING AUTHOR

PRIOR TO WEST END

JANE

ASHER

MOON TIGER stars in

Penelope Lively adapted by

Simon Reade

LES DENNIS CLAIRE GOOSE

with

GRAY O’BRIEN SIMONA ARMSTRONG and

STEVEN MILLER AS DETECTIVE ROY GRACE

MARRIAGE CAN BE MURDER...

Monday 13th January - Saturday 18th January

Tim Delap, Phil Cumbus, Christopher Brandon, Jade Williams, Hilary Tones Compelling, moving and eloquent, one of the great novels of the 20th century is brought to the stage for the ﬁrst time. Winner of the 1987 Booker Prize, this is a haunting story of loss and desire.

Tuesday 21st January - Saturday 25th January

Box Office: 01225 448844 www.theatreroyal.org.uk Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

Theatre listings continued... �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� ’� �� “��’� �� ” �� “��’� �� ” �� ’� �� ’� ��

Don’t miss Babes in the Wood

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ART

Plato, UFOs and quantum mechanics inspire Robbie XQKS WN \PM _MMS av| Iyl \ol ]s{pth{l Y|hu{|t Kvtw|{ly Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ; {v Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;94 Nvsr Pv|zl jhm°7ihy4 Jypz{vs6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

s a young boy growing up in Bishopston in north Bristol, Robbie Sparks’ imagination was fired by the US Apollo space missions of the late 1960s and early 1970s, including that triumphant first manned landing on the moon in the summer of 1969. “I remember just staring into the night sky and wondering, ‘what’s out there?’” Robbie, now a successful abstract painter, recalls. “Later in my teens, me and my mates would head for Cley Hill near Warminster, which was supposedly a UFO hotspot around that time (though I never saw one)!” These early interests in life beyond our terrestrial boundaries have clearly fed into Robbie’s colourful, dynamic and intriguing abstract paintings, a selection of which are on view at two Bristol venues

(Bedminster’s Café Grounded and the Folk House café/bar on Park Street) this month. Bold colours and geometric designs predominate in these paintings which, as Robbie explains, are all visual explorations of some big, deep and intriguing questions about our life on this planet – and our own human consciousness that perceives and tries to make sense of it all. “I am inspired by everything from the abstract consciousness of the mind to the weird and wonderful world of quantum physics and the Golden Ratio,” Robbie explains. “I use symbols and messages to express the timeless beauty in nature’s dynamic principles.” In particular, the paintings that feature in Robbie’s new exhibition at the Folk House delve into that most fascinating and mind-bending of subjects: quantum mechanics – the branch of mechanics that deals

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with the mathematical description of the motion and interaction of subatomic particles. Robbie explains the origins of these far-reaching interests: “A creative edge started to emerge in me quite early on, and after leaving Bristol I became a chef for the next 20 years, travelling the world in between – painting all the while, but never exhibiting due to my ever-evolving style. “My interest in the world of the ever-expanding universe was now reversing into the strange and wonderful world of quantum physics, and my work began to take on the forms of slightly unusual distressed geometric imagery! “The great scientists and philosophers with their symbols of sacred geometry and number inspired me –amongst others Plato, Isaac Newton, Fibonacci [the mediaeval Italian mathematician who popularised

our numeral system as well as the number sequence that bears his name] and Max Planck [the German physicist and originator of quantum theory] among others. “I have now reached a point where my work will take you on a journey that I feel is unlike anything of its kind. “As Plato observed some 2,000 years ago, ‘what we assume to be real can easily turn out to be an illusion’. From the atom to the quark, and onto the quantum computer creating a simulated universe of reality, this is the world that I paint from – and it’s a great place to be looking in on!” As to the unusual title of his Folk House show (You Are The Ultimate Quantum Computer), Robbie explains, “The ultimate quantum computer, and creator of patterns, is each one of us. “Consciousness creates all, and this is the world of ideas that I paint from!”

LISTINGS ��

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Don’t miss Painterly Paintings: Back in Fashion

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EXHIBITION

Joëlle Tuerlinckx WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS? Until Sunday 16 March 2014 Exhibition spaces open Tuesday–Sunday 11am – 6pm, free admission Visit arnolfini.org.uk for Christmas opening hours Arnolfini 16 Narrow Quay, Bristol BS1 4QA arnolfini.org.uk @arnolfiniarts #JoelleT (Image left) Joëlle Tuerlinckx, WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS?, Arnolfini, installation view, 2013. Photo Stuart Whipps (Image right) Joëlle Tuerlinckx: Modèle originale, 2009 Supported by

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COMEDY The Birdman of Jongleurs XQKS WN \PM _MMS Rvunsl|yz Kvtlk Ks|i [h{|ykh 4 Rhu|hy <4 \ol K|ihu4 Phyiv|yzpkl4 Jypz{vs6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

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54 Weekend From Friday, January 3, 2014

Don’t miss Krater Comedy Club

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BOOKS

When It’s A Jar

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After Annie The dogs of war are unleashed down at the park

he latest novel by Orange Prize award winner Suzanne Berne is set in Littlefield, Massachusetts, named one of the ten best places to live in America. It seems like the perfect place; neighbourly, with leafy streets and a quaint village centre. But all is not as it seems – the use of the park has caused fractures between the dog owners and the rest of the community worrying about dogs being let off the leash and how they behave. There are also fears over coyotes coming into town, and all these fears come to a head when a dog is found poisoned. Into this troubled community comes an anthropologist wanting to learn what makes Littlefield a place

for a better quality of life. Berne treats the story almost like a jewel, slowly turning and revealing different facets, focussing on different characters but coming back to Margaret, who is middle-aged and feeling like her life is coming apart. Her husband is unhappy, but neither of them can articulate their problems – even with the help of one of the town’s many psychiatrists. Over the course of months, more dogs die, Margaret’s anxiety escalates and she alienates her teenage daughter. The novel has a dreamy quality. At first it seems as if it is a mystery novel, then a comedy of manners examining the difference between men and women in a sharp and revealing way. It raises many questions about how to live, both in a

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

small domestic way but also how best to bear the burdens that life throws in your path. It is contemplative and a sensitive portrayal of how fear shapes the way we live.

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SALE

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up to

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Clevedon 21-25 Alexandra Rd 01275 872 431 | Keynsham 29 High Street 0117 986 1896 Patchway 69 Gloucester Rd 0117 904 6352 | Thornbury 44 High Street 01454 281 002 | Wells Units 3-4 Keward Mill Est 01749 678 140

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PROPERTY

PIECE OF PARKLAND Property of the week Locking Parklands, Weston-super-Mare

emand for new houses at Weston-super-Mare’s Locking Parklands has been so high that the builder has released the next phase early – eight of which have already been reserved off plan. Houses at two of the first three phases of the award-winning development by St Modwen Homes have sold out, while 70 per cent of properties at The Meadows have been reserved from plan. The newly launched Poppyfields section will consist of 94 properties when complete, including two, three and four-bedroom houses, with prices starting from £242,950. Ben Cook, Regional Residential Director at St Modwen Homes said: “Locking Parklands has experienced a phenomenal sales rate, much higher than the national and regional average. “We’ve now sold more than 100 homes at the development and, in light of the many enquiries we received regarding the new homes, we made the decision to launch Poppyfields ahead of schedule. “Construction is currently under way on

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two phases at the development – The Meadows and Poppyfields – with work predicted to start on further homes in 2014.” All the houses in Poppyfields will be available to purchase under the Government’s Help to Buy scheme which

means a home can be secured with a deposit of just five per cent. Locking Parklands recently won the top prize for its house designs at the 2013 Housebuilder awards. Among the stand-out features is a full wooden frontage on the four-bedroom detached Aspen. And, typical of St Modwen Homes’ properties, the Aspen has full-height windows in each of the rooms, including a bay window in the family room and a balcony leading off the master bedroom, allowing natural light to flood in. Not only has the development proven successful on the residential side, but St Modwen also recently completed the first office building. Once completed, Locking Parklands will comprise approximately 650,000 sq ft of employment space, including a 30,000 sq ft Innovation Centre, creating up to 2,000 jobs. For more information, the marketing suite, off Farnborough Road, is open daily, 10am to 6pm. Alternatively, call 0844 243 4848, or visit www.stmodwenhomes.co.uk

Elite Kitchens, Bathrooms Wetrooms and Tiles

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SITTING COMFORTABLY Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers.

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PUT ON A BOLD FRONT Whatever people say, sometimes looks do matter – especially when it comes to your front door. Julia Gray explains.

nsuring your front door is smart, bright and stylish can make all the difference when it comes to making a good first impression. The easiest thing to do is change the door furniture; chrome or satin nickel is more fashionable than brass and gives a smart, contemporary look, suited to both period and modern doors. Get metal door numbers to match, or consider frosted-film numbers if you have a glazed or partially glazed door or porch. They can be fiddly to fit, but they look stunning. Paint on exterior doors has a tendency to crack and flake, letting in water as well as looking shabby. Start by removing the door from its hinges and taking off the door furniture. Use a wood scraper to remove any flaking or cracked paint, then sand smooth and apply flexible exterior wood filler to the repairs. When set, sand it – and the rest of the door. (Tip: At this time of year its worth

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looking for quick-drying DIY products). Choose the new paint colour carefully; ideally, the colour should go with the building’s brickwork, paintwork or other exterior finish, and suit its age and style of architecture. While some, classic colours, such as red, black and dark blue, remain popular for front doors, greys, duck-egg blues and greens are fashionable now. Apply a coat or two of exterior wood primer/undercoat and once dry, rub down the door with fine sandpaper to remove any dust and debris, then wipe over with a damp cloth. When dry, this will create a good surface for the topcoat to adhere to and should ensure a good finish. For the topcoat, use an exterior wood paint and apply to all the exposed surfaces, including the top and bottom edges. Missing these will mean that water seeps in over time, causing the wood to shrink and expand. When the first coat’s completely dry, apply a second coat (for a how-to video, visit www.sandtex.co.uk).

If your front door is beyond repair, you’ll need to replace it, but before you do, check the rules. The door may need to comply with building regulations, particularly if it is glazed. And if you live in a listed building, or in a conservation area, you may need consent from your local council. Planning permission may be required to replace a front door, or even only to paint it a different colour. Similarly, if your home is leasehold, you may need the freeholder’s permission to change the front door, or it may belong to the freeholder and not you – check your lease carefully if in doubt. Replacing a front door can be tricky, because new doors take quite a bit of adjusting to fit the size of the frame, so it’s probably worth getting in professional help. Fitting the locks can also be a challenge, too, so getting a carpenter in is advisable, because as well as looking good, your door must, of course, be practical and up to the job of keeping your home safe and secure.

18-19 Elton Road, Clevedon, Somerset, BS21 7EH

www.hawthornsretirement.co.uk

Retirement dreaming? Wake up to the benefits of renting at ‘The Hawthorns’ FINDING a practical solution which matches the quality of your retirement living dream may be easier said than done – and renting may not automatically spring to the top of your list of possible solutions. However, increasing numbers of UK retirees are discovering what their counterparts in America and Australia found out a few years back – that renting your retirement home offers many advantages over continued property ownership. Even more are discovering how you can continue to benefit from both! Hawthorns Retirement has brought its highly successful American formula for retirement living to the UK at Eastbourne, Clevedon and Braintree. These developments, in a nutshell, offer you continued independent living, none of the worries of home ownership and total flexibility to change your lifestyle at a month’s notice should circumstances dictate. And all this is achieved by renting your retirement home at The Hawthorns.

Call 01275 790060

Your monthly rental includes all your many monthly expenses including all your meals and snacks, utility bills, housekeeping, maintenance – even a free mini-bus to take you to the shops and back. If you sit down and calculate what you are spending on all those items living in your own home, the rental fees appears very reasonable indeed. As well as the financial argument, life at The Hawthorns offers the added benefits of security, companionship and the flexibility of handing in just one month’s notice of your decision to leave. Whilst many residents fund this idyllic retirement lifestyle from the proceeds of the sale of their home, many others opt to rent out their own property and fund their new-found lifestyle from the rental income, maintaining their property as part of their estate. Maybe you should wake up to the benefits of renting!

or pop in and visit us at: 18-19 Elton Road, Clevedon, North Somerset, BS21 7EH Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

SALE 50

OUR T S BIGGER EVE

UP TO

SALE ITEMS % THROUGHOUT OFF THE STORE

Over 1200 appliances on display and 3000 in stock to take a way or for home delivery or installation Miele

Beko

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Hotpoint

1400 Spin 9kg Washing Machine •Quick wash •Model HE9L493 Was £399.99

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HURRY LIMITED STOCKS

Zanussi

Bosch

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Maxx 1200 Spin 5.5kg Washing Machine •Quick wash •Half Load •Model WAB24060 Was £259.99

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Zanussi

Full Size Dishwasher •12 place setting •30 minute quick wash •Model ZDF2020 Was £349.99

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Hotpoint

Indesit

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Panasonic

Frost Free Fridge Freezer •A++ Energy •Electronic controls •Fridge 225 ltrs •Freezer 90 Ltrs •Model SMV40T10 Was £849 .99 Then £799.99

Fridge Freezer •Fridge 150 ltrs •Freezer 84 ltrs •Model RFAA52P Was £339.99

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Frost Free Fridge Freezer •Fridge •Freezer •Model CAA55NF

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via Panasonic Cashback redemption. Price after Cashback

£619.99

Dyson Rangemaster

90 Limited Edition Dual Fuel Range Cooker Black and Chrome Was £1099.99

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DC25 Ball Multi Floor Upright Vacuum •East to manouver •Quick draw telescopic Wand •Free 5 year guarantee Was £419.99

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HALF PRICE

Gardiner Haskins homecentre

Broad Plain, off Temple Way, Bristol, BS2 0JP. Telephone: 0117 929 22 88 www.gardinerhaskins.co.uk

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FREE CUSTOMER PARKING*

0%INTEREST FREE CREDIT AVAILABLE APR PLEASE ASK IN STORE FOR DETAILS

Samsung

40”Full Smart LED HD TV •1080p •Built in Wifi •Model UE40F5500 Was £699.99 Then £429.99

Save £280.00 Sale Price £419.99

Shopping hours: Monday - Friday 9am - 8pm, Saturdays 9am - 6pm, Sundays 10.30am - 4.30pm.

* See Tariff Board. All our prices include VAT. ALL offers subject to availability. Some ‘Save up to’ discounts refer to manufacturers recommended prices.

TELEVISION

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SPLASH! 7.20pm, ITV

TV PICKS

CATHERINE TATE’S NAN 9.30pm, BBC1

The character returns in a one-off comedy special. Nan’s new teenage helper accompanies her to the council offices to see about a broken tap.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S). 11.30 Food & Drink (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 2.30 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Coverage of the opening day of the tournament. 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.10 Frozen Planet (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Vernon Kay and Gabby Logan return with the celebrity diving competition, challenging a new line-up of stars to jump in at the deep end under the guidance of London 2012 bronze medallist Tom Daley. The contestants are aiming to secure votes from viewers and impress the judges.

BBC2

6.05 Film: My Fake Fiance (2009). ●●● 7.30 Film: Stick It (S) (2006). ●●● 9.10 Life on Earth 10.05 Life on Earth (R,S,HD). 11.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made in Britain (R,S). 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys 12.00 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S,HD). 1.30 Film: The Horse Whisperer (1998). ●●● 4.10 Coast 4.30 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 5.30 James May’s Toy Stories: The Motorcycle Diary (R,S,HD).

DAVE ALLEN: GOD’S OWN COMEDIAN 9pm, BBC2

A look at the life, career and legacy of the Irish comedy writer and performer, featuring interviews with family and friends and rare archive material.

ITV

6.00 Pat & Stan 6.25 Dino Dan (R,S). 6.50 Canimals 7.15 Sooty 7.40 Almost Naked Animals 8.05 Horrid Henry (R,S). 8.30 Victorious 9.00 Deadtime Stories 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Dinner Date 10.25 Murder, She Wrote 11.25 ITV News and Weather 11.35 The Chase 12.40 Midsomer Murders 2.45 Show Me the Telly 3.45 You’ve Been Framed! 4.15 Regional News (S). 4.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 4.45 Live FA Cup Football

NEW SECRETS OF THE TERRACOTTA WARRIORS – SECRET HISTORY 8pm, Channel 4

The unearthing of China’s Terracotta Army in 1974 captured the imagination of the world, but that first dig only revealed a fraction of this extraordinary collection of ceramic sculptures. Since then, scientists have resumed work on the site.

Channel 4

6.00 The Treacle People (R,S). 6.10 Little Wolf’s Book of Badness (R,S). 6.35 Film: Arctic Tale (S,HD) (2007). ●●● 8.00 The Morning Line (S). 9.00 The American Football Show (S). 10.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.30 Jamie’s Festive Feast (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S). Live coverage from Sandown Park and Wincanton. 4.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 10.00 Power Rangers: Megaforce (S,HD). 10.35 Slugterra (S,HD). 11.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 11.30 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Launch (R,S,HD). 1.25 Film: Columbo: Try and Catch Me (S) (1977). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●●● 3.00 Film: Columbo: A Case of Immunity (S) (1975). Detective drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●● 4.25 Diagnosis Murder (R,S,HD). 5.25 Diagnosis Murder (R,S,HD).

after

▼ ▼

7.00 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). Featuring actors from Grange Hill, Waterloo Road and The Demon Headmaster. 7.50 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins (S,HD).

7.30 Dad’s Army (R,S). 11/14. Platoon pensioner Private Godfrey is at the centre of controversy as the boys raise questions about whether he is brave enough for the job.

▼

8.40 Casualty (S,HD). 19/48. Fletch witnesses an explosion at a bar and realises the man who accused him of assault is trapped inside the building. Robyn treats a singer who seems to have lost his voice. 9.30 Catherine Tate’s Nan (S). See Choices Above.

The Jonathan Ross Show, 9.50pm

Speed with Guy Martin, 7pm

Mr & Mrs Murder, 6.20pm

6.35 News (S).

6.20 Mr & Mrs Murder (S,HD). 1/13. New series. Australian detective comedy, starring Shaun Micallef and Kat Stewart.

7.20 Splash! (S,HD). 1/7. See Choices Above.

7.00 Speed with Guy Martin (R,S). 1/4. The motorcycle racer takes part in four adrenaline-fuelled challenges.

7.10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 18/24. Two siblings confess to a schoolgirl’s murder. Drama, starring Marg Helgenberger and Gary Dourdan.

8.00 Morecambe & Wise: Leading Ladies (R,S,HD). Penelope Keith presents a compilation of highlights from the comedy duo’s shows featuring appearances by female stars of stage and screen.

8.50 Take Me Out (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 New Secrets of the Terracotta Warriors – Secret History (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 NCIS (R,S). 1/24. The team tries to prove Ziva had nothing to do with a political assassination carried out by her former Mossad partner – but has to tackle the case without Gibbs’s guidance. Naval crime drama, starring Cote de Pablo.

9.00 Dave Allen: God’s Own Comedian (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.50 The Jonathan Ross Show (S,HD). 1/10. New series. The host welcomes another batch of celebrity guests to his famous green room, including leading lights from TV and film, before subjecting them to a no-holds-barred bout of questioning.

9.00 Robin Hood (S,HD) (2010). An archer fighting in Richard the Lionheart’s crusading army returns home to England and assumes the identity of a nobleman killed in battle. His new-found status draws him into the dangerous world of the newly crowned King John’s court, while a traitorous knight plots to aid the French in conquering England. Ridley Scott’s medieval adventure, starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett and Mark Strong. See Choices Above. ●●●

9.00 NCIS (R,S). 2/24. Against his better judgement, Gibbs comes out of retirement to help Fornell and his daughter by reopening the case of an escaped convict who is putting their lives in danger. 9.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

▼

6.30 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 1/75. Kate Bateman and Adam Partridge value items in the spa town of Malvern, Worcestershire.

10.05 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Little Fockers (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●● Followed by National Lottery Update.

10.00 Dave Allen: The Immaculate Selection (S). A compilation of the finest, funniest and most irreverent routines by the Irish comedy writer and performer recorded between 1971 and 1986.

10.50 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather

▼

Morecambe & Wise … 8pm

6.10 Regional News (S,HD). 6.30 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 7/10. With Hal Cruttenden, Clare Perkins, Sophie Hosking and Huw Stephens.

11.55 Romance & Cigarettes (S) (2005). A steelworker’s infidelity sees him driven from his home while his wife plots revenge on his mistress. Musical drama, starring James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon and Kate Winslet. ●●●

11.00 Dave Allen in Search of the English Eccentric (R,S). 11.55 Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Action from the opening day at the Lakeside Country Club.

11.05 FA Cup Football Highlights (S,HD). Action from the third round, with fixtures including Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur, Wigan Athletic v Milton Keynes Dons and Macclesfield Town v Sheffield Wednesday.

11.45 Charlie Brooker’s How Videogames Changed the World (R,S,HD). The broadcaster delves into the history of the games industry.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Psych (HD). New series. Rylan Clark is joined by Carol McGiffin, Iain Lee and a panel of psychologists and bodylanguage experts to analyse the housemates’ behaviour.

▼

6 7 8 9

Casualty, 8.40pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

1.35 Weatherview (S). 1.40 BBC News (S,HD).

12.45 Darts Extra (S). The BDO World Championships. Extended highlights of the first-round matches on the opening day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green, with the men’s matches played over the best of five sets, and the ladies’ contests played over the best of three sets.Presented by Rob Walker. 2.45 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.35 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 Ladette to Lady: Australia (R,S). Eight brash Australian girls are trained to become ladies. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

1.40 Fresh Meat (R,S,HD). Oregon and Vod go head to head in the student union elections, while Josie and Kingsley come to an unusual arrangement to solve their relationship problems. Last in the series. 2.25 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 4.30 Suburgatory (S,HD). 4.50 90210 (S,HD). 5.35 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Highstakes game show, with Noel Edmonds.

12.00 SuperCasino 3.05 True CSI (R,S). The murder of an elderly woman in West Sussex in July 1999. 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

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10.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). Highlights of the famous residents’ past 24 hours under the all-seeing eye of Big Brother, as they try to get used to their housemates’ quirks and foibles while also coping with the day-to-day complications of life inside the house.

DAVID ATTENBOROUGH’S NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM ALIVE 6.05pm, Sky1

New series. An IT consultant, an entrepreneur, a daredevil dad and a student try to impress 30 single women and win a date to the Isle of Fernandos. Paddy McGuinness presents.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Coronation Street (HD). 9.10 Emmerdale (HD). 12.05 You’ve Been Framed! Funniest 100 (R). 1.10 Film: Dragonheart (HD) (1996). ●●● 3.20 Film: Junior (HD) (1994). Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. ●●● 5.30 Film: Beethoven’s 2nd (HD) (1993). Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin. ●●●

The 40 Year Old Virgin, 9pm

7.15 Mr Bean’s Holiday (HD) (2007). The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson and Willem Dafoe. ●●

David Attenborough invites viewers to join him as he takes an after-hours stroll around one of his favourite places, the Natural History Museum. But this is no ordinary tour – as the broadcaster walks from one exhibit to the next, the vast collection of wonders spring to life.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.20 Make It or Break It (R,HD). 7.05 Being Erica (R,HD). 8.00 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 8.55 Ugly Betty 9.55 Charmed (R). 10.50 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.20 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 1.20 Rules of Engagement 2.20 The Big Bang Theory 3.20 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 4.25 Film: Penelope (HD) (2006). ●●●

Sky1

6.00 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S,HD). 7.00 Football’s Funniest Moments 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00 WWE Superstars 1.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.00 Neverland (R,S,HD). 3.45 Film: Elf (S) (2003). ●●● 5.35 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

TAKE ME OUT 8.50pm, ITV

LITTLE FOCKERS 10.25pm, BBC1

GOLD

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 6.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.50 Open All Hours 8.30 Porridge 9.10 The Vicar of Dibley 9.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 10.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 11.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 11.50 Film: Jack (1996) ● 2.00 One Foot in the Algarve 4.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 4.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 5.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

The Big Bang Theory, 8pm

Godzilla, 8.35pm

Fawlty Towers, 6pm

6.10 Meet Dave (HD) (2008). Tiny emotionless aliens on a mission to save their homeworld travel to Earth aboard a spacecraft in human

6.05 David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

6.00 Fawlty Towers 6.40 Fawlty Towers. Two doctors become intrigued by Basil’s behaviour.

7.35 The Making of David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum (S,HD). Behind the scenes of the documentary.

7.25 Fawlty Towers. A loudmouthed, abrasive American comes to stay at the hotel and soon exposes Basil’s ignorance of transatlantic cuisine.

form, where they plan to drain the planet’s oceans. Sci-fi comedy, with Eddie Murphy and Elizabeth Banks. ●● 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Raj is upset when Lucy runs away in the middle of their date. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). The guys promote science as a career for women.

9.00 The 40 Year Old Virgin 9.00 The Waterboy (HD) (HD) (2005). A middle(1998). The coach of an aged shop worker American football team reveals he has never spots the talent of their been intimate with a put-upon waterboy and woman, which prompts gives him the chance to his shocked colleagues to prove himself on the set him up with a series pitch. Comedy, with of potentially passionate Adam Sandler and Kathy dates. When he falls for Bates. ●●● a single mother, his 10.50 The Inbetweeners (R). friends think he is right Will is left home alone on course for a lusty when his mother goes liaison, but his new away for the weekend partner is not ready for a and decides to take physical relationship. advantage of the Judd Apatow’s comedy, situation. Comedy, starring Steve Carell, starring Simon Bird and Catherine Keener and Joe Thomas. Paul Rudd. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

8.35 Godzilla (1998). A giant 8.10 Fawlty Towers. mutant lizard spawned Manuel’s pet rat escapes from an atomic test just as a health inspector rampages through the is about to pay a factstreets of New York, finding visit, sending defying the combined Basil on a mad dash to might of the US Army track it down before and Navy as it searches disaster ensues. for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish 9.00 Fawlty Towers. Sybil walks out on Basil. radiation expert and a 9.40 Fawlty Towers. An shady French secret abrasive woman comes agent join forces to to stay at the hotel – and defeat the creature. is soon on a collision Hollywood remake of course with its equally the Japanese monster offensive proprietor. adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria. ●● 10.20 Fawlty Towers. A married couple, both doctors, check in and become intrigued by the behaviour of manic manager Basil, who feels sure a male guest has smuggled a girl into his room. Classic comedy, with John Cleese.

11.20 Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (HD) (2004). Romantic comedy sequel, with Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones. ●●●

11.25 The Inbetweeners (R). 11.15 All Aboard: East Coast 11.15 Fawlty Towers The gang goes on a Trains (R,S,HD). Service camping trip. Last in the staff on the Flying series. Scotsman reveal how they are ruled by tight 11.55 8 Out of 10 Cats deadlines. (R,HD). With Jack Dee and Steve Jones.

1.35 Utterly Outrageous Celebrity Frock Ups (R). Denise Van Outen’s favourite fashion slipups. 2.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Featuring an uninvited wedding guest. 2.50 Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

1.00 Made in Chelsea: End of Season Party (R). The reality stars discuss the sixth series. Last in the series. 2.05 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD). Comedy, starring Sharon Rooney. 3.00 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.25 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.45 Glee (R,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.15 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). Spartacus finally gets his chance for revenge. 1.30 Glee (R,S,HD). Will and Finn try to sing away their problems. 2.20 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 4.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 5.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).

ROBIN HOOD 9pm, Channel 4

Premiere. A father of twins invites his family to his kids’ birthday party and tries to finally win over his father-inlaw. Comedy sequel, with Ben Stiller.

12.00 Fawlty Towers 12.45 Fawlty Towers 1.25 A Child’s Christmases in Wales. Ruth Jones stars in this comedy drama following a south Wales family’s eventful Christmas celebrations during the 1980s. 2.25 The Green Green Grass. Marlene awaits Tyler’s A-level results.

An archer returning from the crusades faces a plot by a traitorous knight to aid a French conquest of England. Medieval adventure, with Russell Crowe.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 6.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 6.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). 7.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). 12.30 Live Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 3.00 Soccer Saturday (HD). 5.15 Spanish Football (HD).

Live Football, 12.30pm

7.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Valencia v Levante (Kick-off 7.00pm). All the action from the La Liga encounter at the Mestalla, featuring two sides aiming to move up the table.

9.00 Live NFL (HD). Coverage of the opening wildcard play-off match (Kick-off TBA), as the teams involved battle it out for a place in the Divisional round.

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide (R,S,HD). Part one of two. An in-depth look at the sci-fi show. 8.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). With guest Damian Lewis. 9.00 Die Hard with a Vengeance (S,HD) (1995). Thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis. ●●●● 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). Peter learns about his ancestors. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). Peter tries to rebuild Joe’s confidence. 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). Brian looks after an elderly woman. 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 Family Guy (R,S). 1.15 Family Guy (R,S). 1.40 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S). 2.10 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S). 2.40 Comedy Fest Live 2013 (R,S,HD). 3.40 Bamboo

BBC4

7.00 Nasa – Triumph and Tragedy (R). Part one of two. America’s leading role in the space race. 8.00 A Very British Murder with Lucy Worsley (R,HD). Examining Britain’s fascination with murder. 9.00 The Bridge (HD). New series. The Scandinavian crime drama returns. In Danish and Swedish, starring Sofia Helin and Kim Bodnia. 10.00 The Bridge (HD). Saga and Martin are quarantined. 11.00 Rock ’n’ Roll Britannia (R). Examining British rock ’n’ roll’s foundations. 12.00 Totally British 70s Rock ’n’ Roll (R). 1.00 The Ballad of Mott the Hoople (R). 2.00 Nasa – Triumph and Tragedy (R). 3.00 A Very British Murder with Lucy Worsley (R,HD).

SATURDAY January 4

1.00 Live NFL (HD). Coverage of the second wildcard play-off match (Kick-off TBA), as two teams continue their bids for Super Bowl glory. 4.30 NFL – A Football Life (HD). Documentary series focusing on the lives of NFL players. 5.30 Scottish Premiership Football (HD).

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TV PICKS

SHERLOCK 8.30pm, BBC1

The brooding detective is kept busy as best man on John and Mary’s wedding day – but it soon turns out his duties involve stopping a killer who is stalking the reception.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions (S,HD). 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News (HD). 1.15 Moving On (R,S,HD). 2.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 2.45 Helicopter Heroes (S,HD). 3.15 That Puppet Game Show (HD). 4.00 Songs of Praise (HD). 4.35 Dolphins – Spy in the Pod (R,S,HD). 5.35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

ALL NEW IT’LL BE ALRIGHT ON THE NIGHT 9pm, ITV Griff Rhys Jones presents a collection of TV bloopers, gaffes and fluffed cues rescued from the cutting-room floor, featuring unscripted moments from Coronation Street, Emmerdale, This Morning, Surprise Surprise and Dancing on Ice, as well as some neverbefore-seen royal clangers.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.10 Film: Odette (S) (1950). ●●● 8.05 Monty Don’s French Gardens (R,S,HD). 9.05 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.30 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S,HD). 12.15 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 5.00 Ski Sunday (S,HD). 5.45 Film: Catch Me If You Can (S,HD) (2002). ●●●●

OPERATION GRAND CANYON WITH DAN SNOW 9pm, BBC2

SPEED WITH GUY MARTIN 8pm, Channel 4

The presenter joins a team of historians and geologists to recreate the pioneering 280-mile journey undertaken around the natural wonder.

ITV

6.00 Pat & Stan (R,S). 6.25 Dino Dan (R,S). 6.50 Canimals (R,S). 7.15 Sooty (R,S). 7.25 Sooty (R,S). 7.40 Almost Naked Animals (R,S). 8.05 Horrid Henry (R,S). 8.30 Victorious. 9.00 Deadtime Stories (R). 9.25 FA Cup Football Highlights (R,S,HD). 10.55 Unforgettable Leonard Rossiter (R,S). 11.25 News (S). 11.30 Live FA Cup Football (S,HD). 2.15 The Cube (R,S,HD). 3.15 Splash! (R,S,HD). 4.45 The Celebrity Chase (R,S,HD). 5.45 Regional News (S).

For his second adrenaline-fuelled challenge, the racer tries to set the world record for riding a motorcycle on water. With the help of a Cambridge professor and a team of marine engineers, he attempts the feat at Bala Lake in Snowdonia, with extra fittings on his bike that should enable it to skim across the surface.

Channel 4

6.30 Film: Barnyard (S,HD) (2006). Animated comedy, with the voice of Kevin James. ●●● 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.30 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 3.30 Film: Edward Scissorhands (S,HD) (1990). Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder. ●●●●● 5.35 Channel 4 News (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Slugterra (S,HD). 11.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 11.30 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 12.30 Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). 1.30 Film: Grounded (S) (2006). Family comedy, starring Lewis Black. ●● 3.15 Film: Along Came Polly (S,HD) (2004). Comedy, starring Ben Stiller. ●● 4.55 Film: Made of Honor (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

after

Most Shocking Celebrity … 10pm

▼

6.05 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Noel Edmonds hosts the high-stakes game show in which contestants can walk away with as much as £250,000 – or as little as a penny.

6.40 Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (S,HD) (2005). An FBI public relations officer defies orders and goes back undercover to find her kidnapped friends. Comedy

▼

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 8/10. With Fred MacAulay, Mark Billingham, Georgia Henshaw and Charles Collingwood. 7.30 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD).

7.45 All Star Family Fortunes (S,HD). 2/10. Vernon Kay invites former Girls Aloud member Kimberley Walsh and dancer Wayne Sleep to take part in the game show with their families.

7.00 Shipping Wars (S). Delivery firms catering for the eBay generation.

▼

8.30 Sherlock (S,HD). 2/3. John and Mary’s wedding day arrives, presenting Sherlock with one of the toughest challenges he has ever faced as he sets about delivering a best man’s speech. But soon he is on more familiar ground as mortal danger stalks the reception, leaving the brooding detective to solve the case and stop a killer before the happy couple make it to their first dance. See Choices Above.

8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events (S,HD). 3/3. Chris Packham investigates reports of bears turning to a life of crime and fish that have contrived a way to attack birds on land. Last in the series.

8.30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off (S). 1/10. New series. The lowest-scoring celebrities perform crowd-pleasing routines from their original series in a battle for survival, and two of them will be eliminated.

8.00 Speed with Guy Martin (S). 2/4. See Choices Above.

8.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

9.00 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 All New It’ll Be Alright on the Night (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Bad Teacher (S,HD) (2011). See Choices Above. ●●●

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). A chance to catch up with the latest events inside the house as the celebrities cope with living under constant surveillance, with all the arguments and alliances, as well as the revelations in the diary room.

▼

Rude Tube: Welcome … 10.50pm

6.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.15 Dancing on Ice (S,HD). 1/10. New series. Past contestants get their skates back on for the final series.

▼

All Star Family Fortunes, 7.45pm

10.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Mrs Brown’s Boys New Year Special (R,S,HD). 2/2. The doting mother’s hectic house becomes a little more noisy when she finds herself lumbered with a new guest – a homeless parrot.

10.00 Charlie Brooker’s 2013 Wipe (R,S,HD). A satirical look back at the events of the past 12 months, which included the horse-meat scandal, the death of Margaret Thatcher and the US government shutdown.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD). 1/8. ITV’s revival of the hit BBC sitcom. 10.45 FA Cup Football Highlights (S,HD). Action from today’s third-round matches.

▼

Nature’s Weirdest Events, 8pm

6.00 Countryfile (S,HD). John Craven joins the staff of 18th-century Devon estate, Killerton.

11.05 Good Will Hunting (S,HD) (1997). A maths genius is befriended by a psychologist who helps him come to terms with his unusual talents and troubled past. Drama, starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams and Minnie Driver. ●●●●

11.00 Darts: BDO World Championships (S,HD). Action from the second day at the Lakeside Country Club. 11.50 Darts Extra (S). Day two of the BDO World Championships.

11.45 Premiership Rugby Union (S,HD). Action from the 12th round of top-flight fixtures, which included Northampton Saints v Harlequins, Leicester Tigers v Bath and London Wasps v Exeter Chiefs.

▼

6 7 8 9

Antiques Roadshow, 7.30pm

1.05 Weatherview (S). 1.10 BBC News (S,HD).

1.50 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). Ellie Harrison recalls some of the endangered animals featured on the programme, including red squirrels photographed by Julia Bradbury in the Yorkshire Dales. 2.45 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Guy attempts to rebuild his relationship with Zosia. 3.45 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.40 The Store 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside, where he invites American guests to air their differences. 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.05 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

BRISTOL COLLEGE of MASSAGE and BODYWORK

10.00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments 2013 (R,S). See Choices Above.

12.55 Film: Waltz with Bashir (HD) (2008). Animated documentary, directed by Ari Folman. ●●●● 2.30 Coming Up (R,S,HD). A teenager catches up with an old friend. 3.00 How Not to Get Old (R,S). A guide to the anti-ageing industry. 3.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 4.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.45 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD).

12.55 SuperCasino. 3.05 True CSI (S). The murder of anti-crime activist Dennis Dolinger. 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

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10.50 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2014 (R,S). Alex Zane welcomes in the New Year with 100 internet clips, featuring new videos alongside the best from the year just gone, including caped crusader BatDad, Halloween viral hit LED baby and Granny Grand Theft Auto.

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sequel, starring Sandra Bullock, Regina King, William Shatner and Heather Burns. Edited for violence. ●●

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Past contestants get their skates back on for the ninth and final series of the celebrity ice-dancing competition, presented by Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley. The results are at 8.30pm.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Emmerdale (R,HD). 9.30 Coronation Street (R,HD). 12.00 Boyzone at 20: No Matter What (R,HD). 1.00 Take Me Out (R,HD). 2.00 Film: The Mighty Ducks (HD) (1992). ●● 4.10 Film: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (HD) (2004). Comedy adventure sequel, with Sarah Michelle Gellar. ●●

Evan Almighty, 6.05pm

MOST SHOCKING CELEBRITY MOMENTS 2013 10pm, Channel 5

Countdown of the biggest showbusiness stories and scandals of the year, from Justin Bieber losing his monkey at Munich airport to Miley Cyrus’s controversial performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, and Sinitta gives her thoughts on Simon Cowell’s baby.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.20 Make It or Break It (R,HD). 7.05 Being Erica (R,HD). 8.00 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 9.00 Charmed (R). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 12.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 1.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.50 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.20 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.45 Film: Grease (HD) (1978). ●●●●●

Home Alone 2, 8pm

6.05 Evan Almighty (HD) (2007). God recruits a politician to build an ark and save the world’s animals from an impending cataclysm.

Sky1

BAD TEACHER 9pm, Channel 4

MADE OF HONOR 4.55pm, Channel 5

Premiere. A cynical, hard-drinking teacher hopes to seduce a wealthy substitute. Comedy, starring Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake.

GOLD

6.00 Hour of Power. 7.00 Glee 6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Secret Life of Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.55 Walter Mitty Special (S). 9.30 Keeping Up Appearances 9.00 Anchorman: The Legend Keeping Up Appearances 9.40 Continues – Behind The Scenes Keeping Up Appearances 10.20 (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars The Vicar of Dibley 11.35 The (R). 11.00 WWE: Experience. Vicar of Dibley 12.50 Only Fools 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 2.30 and Horses 2.55 Keeping Up Film: Godzilla (S,HD) (1998). ●● Appearances 4.15 Keeping Up 5.15 Harry Hill’s Little Cracker Appearances 5.20 Keeping Up (R,S,HD). 5.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Appearances

A single man realises he is in love with his best friend and tries to stop her marrying someone else. Comedy, starring Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 7.00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles. 7.30 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 8.00 Game Changers (HD). 9.00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles. 9.30 Ronaldo 10.00 Supplement (HD). 11.30 Goals (HD). 12.30 Live Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 3.00 Football Gold (S). 3.30 NFL (HD). 4.30 NFL: America’s Game (HD). 5.30 Live NFL (HD).

The Making of … 9.30pm

Only Fools and Horses, 9pm

Live Football, 12.30pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Lisa begins a whirlwind romance with her intellectual match. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances. 6.40 The Vicar of Dibley.

6.00 Live NFL. (HD). Continued. Coverage of the third wildcard playoff match (Kick-off TBA), as the teams involved battle it out for a place in the Divisional round.

7.45 The Vicar of Dibley. Part two of two. After a whirlwind romance with handsome newcomer Harry, Geraldine swaps her dog collar and cassock for a wedding dress, and hurriedly makes preparations for the big day. But the vicar she has chosen for the service seems a little too fond of her, while the villagers have waited until the last minute to suggest their ideas. 9.00 Only Fools and Horses. 9.00 Live NFL (HD). Coverage of the fourth and final Del-Boy enters the wildcard play-off match import trade after (Kick-off TBA), as two striking a deal with teams continue their bids Boycie to fetch a for Super Bowl glory. consignment of dodgy diamonds across from Holland, and ropes in Rodney and Uncle Albert to help. Their plans are jeopardised when old foe Chief Inspector Slater picks up the Trotters’ trail. Feature-length episode of the comedy, guest starring Jim Broadbent, with David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Buster Merryfield.

Comedy sequel to Bruce Almighty, starring Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). One of Sheldon’s favourite TV shows is cancelled. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Bart gets the chance to save the school from closure. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

8.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates a selection of home-video howlers on the theme of holidays, featuring travellers falling victim to “the curse of the white plastic chair”.

8.00 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (HD) (1992). Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and finds himself heading for New York, while his family jets off to Florida. Having got his hands on his father’s credit card, he is enjoying the good life staying in a luxury hotel – until he bumps into two familiar burglars with an axe to grind. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin. ●●●

8.00 David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD). David Attenborough presents a unique tour of the Natural History Museum.

9.00 The Magaluf Weekender (HD). New series. Following the antics of six young people on holiday.

FILM PICKS

DANCING ON ICE 6.15pm, ITV

9.30 The Making of David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum (R,S,HD).

10.00 I Am Britney Jean: Britney Spears’ Road to Las Vegas (R). The pop star prepares for her performance residency in the city.

10.20 The Inbetweeners (R). 10.30 Anchorman: The Legend Continues – Will is left home alone. Behind The Scenes Comedy, starring Simon (R,S,HD). Alex Zane visits Bird and Joe Thomas. the set of the comedy 10.55 The Inbetweeners (R). sequel and chats to Will The gang goes on a Ferrell and the rest of camping trip. Last in the the cast. series.

11.50 Forgetting Sarah Marshall (HD) (2008). Romantic comedy, starring Jason Segel, Kristen Bell and Russell Brand. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

11.30 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,HD). With Richard Hammond, Carol Vorderman, Paul Foot and Matt Forde.

11.00 Best of Not the Nine 11.00 Banshee (R,S). Hood’s O’Clock News. preparations for a hit on an armoured truck 11.35 Harry Enfield and transporting funds from Chums. Comedy the local casino are sketches, with guest star interrupted by a gang of Dawn French. troublemaking bikers.

2.00 MC Hammer’s Big Shot Academy (R,HD). The US rap legend offers tips to budding musicians and presents a selection of videos submitted by the public, who attempt a version of his megahit U Can’t Touch This. 2.50 Teleshopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 Made in Chelsea: End of Season Party (R). The reality stars discuss the sixth series. Last in the series. 1.20 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD). Comedy, starring Sharon Rooney. 2.15 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). Stephen reads from fans’ e-mails. 2.40 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 3.20 Hollyoaks (R,HD).

12.05 Road Wars (R,S). 1.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 2.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). The overhaul of Gatwick Airport, following staff through an £800million project in response to declining passenger numbers. 5.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).

12.15 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer. The link between voodoo and cottage cheese. 12.55 The Green Green Grass. Boycie reluctantly signs up for a reality TV show. 1.25 Best of Not the Nine O’Clock News 1.50 Harry Enfield and Chums 2.20 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer

BBC3

7.00 The Gruffalo (R,S,HD). 7.30 The Gruffalo’s Child (R,S,HD). Animated sequel, with the voice of Robbie Coltrane. 7.55 101 Dalmatians (S,HD) (1996). Disney comedy adventure remake, starring Glenn Close. ●●● 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). The comedian’s perspective on the news. 10.00 Starship Troopers (S) (1997). Sci-fi adventure, starring Casper Van Dien. ●●●● 12.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.30 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.50 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2010 (R,S,HD). 2.50 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 3.20 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Britain by Bike (R). Clare Balding visits the Highlands. Last in the series. 7.30 The Return of Colmcille (R,HD). The inside story of the centrepiece to 2013’s City of Culture celebrations. 8.30 Apples, Pears and Paint: How to Make a Still Life Painting (HD). Examining the history of the art form. 10.00 Nigel Slater’s Great British Biscuit (R,HD). The origins of the humble biscuit. 11.00 Elena (HD) (2011). Premiere. A woman from a poor background marries a richer man. Drama, starring Nadezhda Markina. ●●●● 12.45 The Story of Top of the Pops 1979 (R). 1.45 Top of the Pops: 1979 – Big Hits (R,HD). 2.45 New York Rock at the BBC (R).

SUNDAY January

12.30 Spanish Football (HD). 1.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). 2.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 2.30 The F1 Show (HD). 3.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). 4.00 Spanish Football (HD). 5.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 5.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD).

“I think TM is the best thing I’ve done in my life … for calm and clarity and my blood-pressure!” Martin Savickas “All my road rage is gone!” Karen Savickas

For an introductory talk at the Bristol

TM Centre…

Call Patrice Gladwin on 0117 914 7127 uk.tm.org

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

TV PICKS

THE 7.39 9pm, BBC1

Romantic drama about a pair of disillusioned individuals (David Morrissey and Sheridan Smith) whose lives dramatically change after they meet on their morning commute.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (S,HD). 11.45 Real Lives Reunited (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Father Brown (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

A GREAT WELSH ADVENTURE WITH GRIFF RHYS JONES 8pm, ITV

The funnyman tours his native country, Wales, taking on challenges designed to test his Celtic credentials and bring out his adventurous spirit. Beginning his journey in Portmeirion, Clough Williams-Ellis’s re-creation of an Italian village, he sets out to find a Snowdon lily.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.20 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.20 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05 Britain and the Sea (R,S). 10.05 Britain’s Empty Homes (R,S). 10.35 Click (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 4.15 The Great British Winter (R,S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

THE BLETCHLEY CIRCLE 9pm, ITV

New series. Part one of two. The women reunite for their second case when a former Bletchley Park colleague is sent to prison as she awaits trial for the murder of a scientist.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). With Gary Lineker, Michael Buerk and Kirsty Gallacher. 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). The team visits Windsor. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

BENEFITS STREET 9pm, Channel 4

According to some, welfare payments are an easy route to a life of luxury and foreign holidays at the expense of hard-working taxpayers. However, as austerity continues to bite, this documentary visits the residents of one of Britain’s most benefit-dependent streets to reveal the daily challenges they face.

Channel 4

6.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.30 Frasier (R,S). 11.00 Building the Dream (S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S,HD). Four amateur chefs from south Oxfordshire compete.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Cat 8 (S,HD). Part one of two. Apocalyptic sci-fi drama, starring Matthew Modine. 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Georgia breaks off her engagement to Kyle.

PQ17: An Arctic Convoy … 9.30pm

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

Food Unwrapped Diet Special, 8pm

The Gadget Show, 8pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22. With the voices of Tony Blair and JK Rowling. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 6/8. Ardhi has an encounter with a tokay gecko. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 Regional Programme (S). Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 96/140. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 1/20. New series. Michael Portillo travels from Manchester to Birkenhead. 7.00 Great British Garden Revival (S,HD). 4/10. Fruit trees and ornamental bedding plants.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Val receives worrying news. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Peter neglects a business meeting to spend time with Tina.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Huge Hovercraft: Monster Moves (S,HD). Transporting a hovercraft from Southampton to Vancouver. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

Secrets of the Sales, 10.35pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Linda struggles to hide her feelings about Johnny’s sexuality. 8.30 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 11/36. With Matthew Hoggard and Dani King.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD). 24/37. Two more teams battle it out for the last quarter-final place. 8.30 The Sacred Wonders of Britain (S,HD). 2/3. Bronze and Iron Age sites that were important to ancient Britons.

8.00 A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Carla demands to know why Peter let his client down.

8.00 Food Unwrapped Diet Special (S). Jimmy Doherty, Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt investigate healthy eating products and plans, from fasting to detoxing, finding out which of them are the most effective.

8.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD). The team welcomes in the New Year with a look at some of 2014’s must-have gadgets, including smart watches, in-car technology, electric bikes and snowball cannons. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 The 7.39 (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

9.30 PQ17: An Arctic Convoy Disaster (R,S,HD). Jeremy Clarkson tells the story of an Allied convoy of 35 ships heading for the Russian port of Arkhangelsk in the summer of 1942 with supplies vital to the Soviet war effort.

9.00 The Bletchley Circle (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Benefits Street (S). 1/5. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). Marcus Bentley narrates as the famous housemates lie in their beds, chat on the sofas and argue in the kitchen – all for the enjoyment of the viewing public.

▼

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 I Shot 2013 (S). Some of the biggest stories of the past 12 months, captured by members of the public on their mobile devices, from the Boston Marathon bombings to the Russian meteor shower.

10.00 Secrets of the Living Dolls (S). Documentary delving into the extraordinary world of “female masking”, where men strive to become their own ideal fantasy woman by wearing elaborate rubber suits.

10.00 Celebrity Wedding Planner (R,S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Secrets of the Sales (S,HD). Cherry Healey goes behind the scenes of high-street retailers at sale time, finding out how prices and strategy are decided, and learning how shops influence customers’ behaviour. 11.35 The Graham Norton Show (R,S,HD). A compilation of highlights from last year’s editions, which featured the host in conversation with such luminaries as Robert De Niro, Harrison Ford, Michelle Pfeiffer and Cher.

11.20 Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Action from the third day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green, featuring firstround matches in the men’s and ladies’ competitions.

11.20 Hellboy II: The Golden Army (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●●●

11.00 American Football Playoff Highlights (S). Action from the wildcard play-off matches.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-thescenes insights.

12.20 Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Darts Extra (S). The BDO World Championships. Extended highlights of the first-round matches on the third day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green. 2.10 Sign Zone: Idris Elba – King of Speed (R,S). Part one of two. The Luther star explores the history of car racing. 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone

1.15 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

12.00 Speed with Guy Martin (R,S). The racer attempts to set the world record for riding a motorcycle on water. 1.00 Film: The Class (2008). See Choices Above. ●●●● 3.15 How Not to Get Old (R,S,HD). 4.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 My Depression Diaries: Kerry Katona (R,S,HD). The singer explores the causes of her bipolar disorder. 1.00 SuperCasino. 3.05 True CSI (S). The murder of a woman on New Year’s Eve 1991. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

after

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

REVENGE 9pm, E4

New series. The drama following a woman who plans to destroy the family that ruined her father’s life returns. Emily focuses on her main goal of vengeance, but discovers her plans are subject to an unexpected deadline. Meanwhile, the arrival of Victoria’s long-lost son Patrick causes complications.

Former Coronation Street actress Helen Flanagan and Made in Chelsea star Hugo Taylor plan the nuptials of a couple who dream of an A-list wedding.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale. 6.25 Coronation Street. 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of DC (R,HD). 10.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 11.30 You’ve Been Framed Rides Again! (R). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,HD). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County. 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R).

Sky1

6.00 Switched. 6.25 90210. 7.10 Ugly Betty. 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). 11.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 11.30 Charmed (R). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

FILM PICKS

CELEBRITY WEDDING PLANNER 10pm, Channel 5

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY 11.20pm, ITV

A teacher in an innercity school tries to inspire his teenage students, but finds his efforts are only met with hostility. Drama, with Francois Begaudeau.

Action fantasy sequel directed by Guillermo del Toro, starring Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones and Luke Goss.

GOLD

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD).

THE CLASS 1am, Channel 4

6.00 To the Manor Born 6.25 As Time Goes By 6.55 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.55 Keeping Up Appearances 9.55 Bread. 10.35 Last of the Summer Wine 12.00 The Vicar of Dibley 1.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.15 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

Two and a Half Men, 8pm

Big Fat Quiz of the … 10pm

A League of Their … 9pm

The Vicar of Dibley, 6.40pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Anwen from Manchester chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer discovers Grampa may not be his father.

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. A stranger gives the trio an old van. 6.40 The Vicar of Dibley.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). A man fails to jump over a bonfire on his bike. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Calvin Valentine’s brother Sonny returns to the village. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Blood-curdling tales of terror. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Sideshow Bob and Selma get engaged.

7.20 The Vicar of Dibley. The Songs of Praise crew visits Dibley to record a programme in the village church.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Jake draws an intimate picture. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie visits Jake’s school.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon and Amy’s relationship takes an unexpected turn. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Leonard is offered a job opportunity.

8.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). A look back at comical incidents from the world of Premier League football, including interviews with players and pundits.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The quirky comic takes a surreal look at soap sagas and celebrities, subjecting them to his unique brand of scrutiny. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 NFL (HD). 10.00 NFL (HD). 11.00 Spanish Football (HD). 12.00 NFL (HD). 1.00 NFL (HD). 2.00 Spanish Football (HD). 3.00 Spanish Football Gold 3.15 Spanish Football Gold 3.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 5.00 FL72 Review. 5.55 Live Spanish Football (HD).

The Fantasy … 3.30pm

8.00 Live Irish Football (HD). Crusaders v Dungannon Swifts (Kick-off TBA). Coverage of the NIFL Premiership encounter at Seaview.

9.00 Bridget Jones: The 9.00 Revenge (HD). See 9.00 A League of Their Own 9.00 The Royle Family. With Dave and Denise’s Edge of Reason (HD) Choices Above. (R,S). Jimmy Carr and Phil wedding fast (2004). The disasterTaylor join team captains approaching, the arrival prone journalist seems to Jamie Redknapp and of a huge phone bill is have finally found the Andrew “Freddie” the last thing Jim needs. perfect boyfriend. Flintoff on the sportsHowever, when the based comedy quiz, 9.40 The Royle Family. Jim is couple start to squabble hosted by James Corden. surprised by the wedding over their personal costs. habits, she decides to decamp for a while to 10.20 The Royle Family. It’s 10.00 Banshee (R,S). A blast 10.00 Big Fat Quiz of the Thailand and write a Sunday in the house of from the past threatens Year 2013 (R). Jimmy travelogue. Romantic the couch-potato clan to blow Hood’s cover Carr puts a panel of comedy sequel, with and Nana calls round. when an ex-convict he celebrities to the test as Renee Zellweger, Colin However, nothing can served time with stops they battle it out to see Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim stand in the way of off in Banshee, while who remembers the Broadbent, Gemma Antiques Roadshow. Proctor blackmails a most about the Jones, Celia Imrie, James reverend into handing headline-grabbing Faulkner and Donald over his land. events of the past 12 Douglas. Including FYI months. With Daily. ●●● comedians Jack Whitehall and Dara O 11.10 Spartacus: Vengeance 11.00 The Royle Family. The 11.00 FL72 Review. A round11.15 Fake Reaction (R,HD). Briain, actress Kristen family celebrates Jim’s (R,S,HD). Crixus reopens With Helen Flanagan, up of recent matches, Schaal, The Mighty birthday. emotional wounds when Marlon Davis, Brian featuring all the goals Boosh’s Noel Fielding, he revisits a place of past 11.40 Early Doors. First McFadden and his wife from the Championship, actor, writer and suffering. Historical Vogue. episode of the comedy League One and League director Richard Ayoade drama, starring Liam set in a Manchester pub. Two. and chat show host McIntyre. Jonathan Ross. 12.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Judith worries when Jake draws an intimate picture of one of Charlie’s friends as part of a school assignment. 12.30 Two and a Half Men (R). 12.55 Take Me Out (R,HD). 1.55 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 2.20 Teleshopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Penny begins dating comicbook shopkeeper Stuart. 12.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 1.10 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 1.40 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.10 Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2013 (R). 3.55 Glee (R,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.25 Spartacus: Vengeance (R,S,HD). Ilithyia puts her marriage at risk. 1.40 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 2.10 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (R,S,HD). The battle for Karachi in Pakistan. 3.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Royle Family. With Dave and Denise’s wedding fast approaching, the arrival of a huge phone bill is the last thing Jim needs. Comedy, starring Caroline Aherne, Ricky Tomlinson and Sue Johnston. 1.00 The Royle Family. 1.30 The Royle Family. 2.00 The Royle Family. 2.30 Early Doors.

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). A review of the latest round of fixtures from the Scottish top flight. 12.30 Spanish Football (HD). Real Madrid v Celta Vigo. 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 2.30 Irish Football (HD). 4.30 FL72 Review. 5.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD).

bristol@stablepizza.com | www.stablepizza.com Canon’s Road, Harbourside, Bristol, BS1 5UH 0117 927 9999

BBC3

7.00 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). 7.30 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). A Stoke City fan takes control of planning his wedding. 9.00 The Truth About Skunk (S,HD). A look at how skunk has revolutionised the world of cannabis. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). Stan bullies Steve. 12.30 The Truth About Skunk (R,S,HD). 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). The comedian’s perspective on the news. 2.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 2.30 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S). 3.00 The Truth About Skunk (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Orangutan Diary (R). 8.00 The Bermuda Triangle: Beneath the Waves (R). The mystery of vanishing ships and aircraft. 9.00 The Ipcress File (HD) (1965). Spy thriller, starring Michael Caine, Sue Lloyd and Gordon Jackson. ●●●● 10.45 The Many Faces of Michael Caine (R). 11.45 Endeavour: Everest by Balloon (R,HD). Documentary following two men flying over Mount Everest in a hot-air balloon. Last in the series. 12.40 The Bermuda Triangle: Beneath the Waves (R). 1.40 Michael Grade’s Stars of the Musical Theatre (R). 2.40 Secret Voices of Hollywood (R,HD).

MONDAY January

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TV PICKS

SECRETS OF THE BODY CLOCK WITH TERRY WOGAN 10.35pm, BBC1

STARGAZING LIVE 8pm, BBC2

The veteran broadcaster investigates the human body clock, the ‘timepiece’ that lives in the brain.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (S,HD). 11.45 Real Lives Reunited (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Father Brown (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Dara O Briain and Professor Brian Cox explore the night sky. The begin with a mission to capture the Northern Lights on camera. Plus, Dara and Brian reveal what the weather is like around the solar system, and Nasa scientist Dr Carolyn Porco shares photographic images of Saturn’s storms and hexagonal clouds.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (R,S,HD). 7.50 Real Lives Reunited (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 10.05 Sign Zone: Britain’s Empty Homes (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 4.15 The Great British Winter (R,S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

THE TRUTH ABOUT IMMIGRATION 9.30pm, BBC2

Nick Robinson examines decisions that led to the biggest surge of immigration in modern history and asks whether politicians can really control the situation.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). With Lynda Bellingham, Samantha Womack and Jean-Christophe Novelli. 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

AUTOPSY: MICHAEL JACKSON’S LAST HOURS 10pm, Channel 5

Forensic pathologist Dr Richard Shepherd separates fact from fiction as he investigates the cases of celebrities who died unexpectedly, beginning with pop superstar Michael Jackson, who left $400million in debts after his sudden death at 50 in 2009.

Channel 4

6.00 The Treacle People (R,S). 6.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.25 Frasier (R,S). 11.00 Building the Dream (S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). With Dictionary Corner guest John Inverdale. 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Sacrifices of the Heart (S) (2007). Drama, starring Melissa Gilbert, Ken Howard, Cyril O’Reilly and Lisa Pelikan. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Great British Garden Revival, 7pm

Keane & Vieira – Best of … 10.35pm

Ramsay’s Kitchen … 10pm

Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun, 8pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/22. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S). Calvin Valentine’s brother Sonny returns to the village.

6.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 2/8. Santoso receives hunting lessons from older sister Poppy. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Kirsty tries to persuade Max they should try again. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 97/140. Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 2/20. Michael Portillo drives a 100-year-old vehicle. 7.00 Great British Garden Revival (S,HD). 5/10. Chris Beardshaw tries to get more people to plant herbaceous borders, while Alys Fowler celebrates the glories of the kitchen garden.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Pregnant Ruby starts to feel excruciating pain. 7.30 River Monsters (S). 1/7. New series. Jeremy Wade visits the site of the Chernobyl disaster.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). 18/30. 7.30 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). A teenager at risk of paralysis in the Lake District. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 13/52. The team springs into action when Jac goes into early labour, a familiar face forces Serena to question her future at Holby and Ric tries to recapture his long-lost youth.

8.00 Stargazing Live (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

8.00 Weight Loss Ward (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Terry Gardner, who weighed 47 stone 18 months ago, considers a permanent gastric bypass. Documentary following staff at Sunderland Royal Hospital’s obesity unit.

8.00 Location, Location, Location (S). 1/6. New series. Kirstie Allsopp searches for a family home in the rural Essex countryside on a £1million budget, while Phil Spencer helps a design-conscious couple in east London.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (S,HD). New series. Documentary following life in the British Overseas Territory, beginning with a look at how residents reacted to Spain tightening up checks at the border. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 The 7.39 (S,HD). 2/2. Concluding part. Carl and Sally fight their feelings for one another – fully aware the repercussions would be lifechanging for them both. David Morrissey and Sheridan Smith star.

9.00 Stargazing Live: Back to Earth (S). 1/3. New series. Discussion and debate from the team. 9.30 The Truth About Immigration (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 The Lying Game: Crimes That Fooled Britain (S,HD). Experts aim to show how lies can be exposed through science, examining criminal cases in which the perpetrators appeared in front of the cameras with fake displays of grief.

9.00 The Taste (S). 1/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). A chance to catch up with the latest action as the celebrity contestants continue to get to know each other – for better or worse.

▼

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Keane & Vieira – Best of Enemies (S,HD). The rivalry between Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira during their time at Manchester United and Arsenal respectively, when they strived for dominance in a golden period for the clubs.

10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (S). 12/16. Part one of two. Gordon Ramsay visits Mill Street Bistro in Norwalk, Ohio, where he encounters a difficult owner who claims he has the best menu from New York to Los Angeles.

10.00 Autopsy: Michael Jackson’s Last Hours (S,HD). 1/3.See Choices Above.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Secrets of the Body Clock with Terry Wogan (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.15 Insomnia (S) (2002). See Choices Above. ●●●●

11.20 Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Action from the fourth day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green, featuring matches in the men’s and ladies’ competitions.

11.50 Brian Lara: Sports Life Stories (S,HD). 8/8. An interview with the former cricketer, who is widely regarded as one of the greatest batsmen of all time. Last in the series.

11.00 Secrets of the Scammers (R,S). Documentary investigating the ways in which people can be tricked and conned.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-thescenes insights.

1.10 Weatherview (S). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Darts Extra (S). Day four of the BDO World Championships. 2.10 Sign Zone: The Midwives (R,S). The work of staff at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff. 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Wonders of the Universe. 5.00 Schools – Little Stargazing (S,HD). 5.30 Schools – Stargazing Challenges (S,HD).

12.40 Jackpot247. 3.00 Loose Women (R,S,HD). More celebrity interviews and topical debate from a female perspective. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). The host invites guests to air their differences over family and relationship issues, and provides them with his own brand of no-nonsense advice.

12.00 Poker (S). 12.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.25 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 2.20 Alex Brooker: My Perfect Body (R,S,HD). The Last Leg co-host examines how men feel about their bodies. 3.15 How Not to Get Old (R,S,HD). 4.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.10 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 Fat for Cash (R,S,HD). Three women making money by appealing to men who prefer the larger form. 1.00 SuperCasino. 3.05 True CSI (S). The case of two college professors who were stabbed. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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COP SQUAD 9pm, Sky1

Police officers in Cambridgeshire are assisted by a helicopter to catch suspected rogue traders believed to have acquired more than £400,000 from elderly people. Plus, large quantities of cannabis and amphetamines are discovered in a drug raid, and stowaways are found in the trailer of a lorry.

New series. Culinary competition in which amateur and professional cooks try to impress Nigella Lawson, Anthony Bourdain and Ludo Lefebvre with a single spoonful of food.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale. 6.25 Coronation Street. 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of DC (R,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County. 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R).

E4 6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 90210 (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 11.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 11.30 Charmed (R). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory: Geekiest Guest Stars (R,HD). 2.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Glee. 8.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie. 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

THE TASTE 9pm, Channel 4

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL 8.05pm, BBC3

INSOMNIA 11.15pm, BBC1

A sleep-deprived detective accidentally kills his partner, and the murderer they were hunting sees him do it. Thriller, with Al Pacino and Hilary Swank.

Action adventure sequel, updating the series to a 1950s Cold War setting, starring Harrison Ford.

GOLD 6.15 Bread. 6.45 To the Manor Born. 7.15 As Time Goes By. 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster. 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances. 9.50 Bread. 10.35 Last of the Summer Wine. 11.55 The Vicar of Dibley. 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 2.15 To the Manor Born. 2.55 As Time Goes By. 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster. 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances. 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football. 11.00 Football Gold. 11.15 Football Gold. 11.30 SPFL RoundUp (HD). 12.00 FL72 Review. 1.00 Football. 3.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 3.30 FL72 Review. 4.30 Football. Action from recent matches.

GoldenEye, 9pm

Ice Age, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9am

Harry Hill’s TV Burp, 8pm

FL72 Review, 3.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). A woman from Southampton takes part in the matchmaking show.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Penny makes a surprising revelation. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). The town’s graveyard is moved.

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. A motorcyclist scares the living daylights out of Compo. 6.40 The Vicar of Dibley.

6.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). A look at some of the greatest teams in the history of the game.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates more camcorder calamities.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). Barney puts together an extensive pre-nuptial agreement.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Mr Burns receives a blood transfusion from Bart. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Homer is paralysed by a venomous spider.

7.20 The Vicar of Dibley. Geraldine tries her hand at fundraising.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Jake bonds with one of Charlie’s girlfriends. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie competes with his former girlfriend’s fiance.

8.00 Ice Age (HD) (2002). Animated adventure, with the voices of John Leguizamo, Ray Romano, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic and Jack Black. ●●●

8.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (S,HD). Heavy snowfall brings trouble to the entire network.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic look at soaps and celebrities. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic look at soaps and celebrities.

7.00 Football Gold. 7.15 Football Gold. 7.30 Live Capital One Cup Football (HD). Coverage of the opening semi-final first-leg match (Kick-off TBA), as the teams involved look to enhance their chances of reaching the Wembley final. League Two outfit Bradford City produced a major upset at this stage last season when they overcame Aston Villa 3-1, before winning on aggregate to reach the final.

9.00 Cop Squad (R,S). See 9.00 GoldenEye (HD) (1995). 9.35 Rude Tube: Welcome James Bond heads for to 2014 (R). Alex Zane Choices Above. Russia to investigate the welcomes in the New connection between the Year with 100 internet theft of an experimental clips, featuring new helicopter and an orbital videos alongside the best satellite weapon with from the year just gone, the power to devastate including caped crusader entire cities. He discovers BatDad, Halloween viral both have fallen into the hit LED baby and Granny hands of a mysterious Grand Theft Auto. 10.00 Road Wars (R,S). A criminal mastermind drink-driver quickly with a grudge against sobers up when he Britain and a connection makes an ill-advised with 007’s past. Spy attempt to hide from adventure, with Pierce dog handler Steve, Brosnan, Sean Bean, German shepherd Razor Izabella Scorupco and and a police helicopter. Famke Janssen. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

9.00 The Royle Family. 9.40 The Royle Family. Jim grumbles and gripes about being expected to foot the bill for Denise’s impending wedding. Award-winning comedy, starring Caroline Aherne. 10.20 The Royle Family. Newlyweds Dave and Denise have an important announcement for the family. Written by and starring Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash, with Ricky Tomlinson, Sue Johnston and Ralf Little.

10.00 Football Gold. Classic action. 10.15 Football Gold. Classic action. 10.30 Football Gold. Classic action. 10.45 Football Gold. Classic action.

11.40 The Big Bang Theory 11.40 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). (R). Jake gets close to one of Charlie’s girlfriends, but when his uncle declares he will not be seeing her again, the youngster decides to make him suffer for it.

11.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Jimmy Carr and Phil Taylor.

11.00 The Royle Family. The relatives gather for Sunday lunch. 11.40 Early Doors. Jean’s hopes of a holiday are dashed. Comedy, starring Craig Cash.

11.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). A look at some of the greatest teams in the history of the game. 11.30 Football Asia (S). Soccer news from the Far East.

12.10 Two and a Half Men (R). 12.40 Film: No Reservations (HD) (2007). A chef’s life is turned upside down when she is made guardian of her niece and then falls for a colleague. Romantic comedy, starring Catherine ZetaJones and Aaron Eckhart. ●●● 2.30 Teleshopping.

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 1.00 An Idiot Abroad (R,S,HD). 2.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Royle Family. The wedding is put at risk after Denise kicks up a stink and accuses Dave of a heinous crime – flirting with Beverley Macca. Acclaimed comedy, starring Caroline Aherne. 12.55 The Royle Family. 1.30 The Royle Family. 2.00 The Royle Family. 2.30 Early Doors.

12.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 1.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 1.30 Football Asia (S). Soccer news from the Far East. 2.00 Revista De La Liga Special. Football news and highlights from Spain. 5.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). The opening semi-final first-leg match.

12.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Leonard and Penny discuss their future together. 12.40 Revenge (R,HD). Drama, starring Emily VanCamp and Madeleine Stowe. 1.40 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2014 (R). 3.25 Glee (R,HD). 4.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). Amanda moves in with Betty.

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). Three front-engined supercars are taken on a road trip. 8.05 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●● 10.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). Return of the school-based comedy. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Kirsty tries to persuade Max they should try again. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! 12.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 1.30 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Truth About Skunk (R,S,HD). 3.00 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Orangutan Diary (R). 8.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). Archaeologist Julian Richards revisits some of his most important digs. 9.00 God’s Cadets: Joining the Salvation Army (HD). Following recruits at the Salvation Army’s Officer Training College in London. 10.30 The Many Faces of Les Dawson (R). 11.30 Endeavour: Everest Without Oxygen (R,HD). 12.20 The Code of Life: Great Scientists in Their Own Words. 1.20 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). 2.20 God’s Cadets: Joining the Salvation Army (R).

TUESDAY January 7 ��’� ��

Bristol Times �� ’� ��

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TV PICKS

WATERLOO ROAD 8.30pm, BBC1

The classroom drama returns for a fresh term. A trouble-making new girl wastes no time causing mayhem, while Christine clashes with Simon over his education scheme.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (S,HD). 11.45 Real Lives Reunited (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Father Brown (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BIGGER BIG BODY SQUAD 8pm, Channel 5

The return of the documentary following the work of people who provide care and support for the morbidly obese, including ambulance teams, fire crews, builders and hospital workers. The fire service struggles to cope when 30st Steve crashes his car, and the crew is forced to reduce his car to scrap metal to get him out.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (R,S,HD). 7.45 Real Lives Reunited (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S). 10.00 Kangaroo Dundee (R,S). 10.30 See Hear (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 4.15 The Great British Winter (R,S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

MIDSOMER MURDERS 8pm, ITV

As Midsomer St Claire prepares for storms and flooding, it appears a murderer is using ancient torture methods to punish modern-day ‘sinners’. With Rebecca Front and, Andrea Lowe.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). With Beverley Callard, Mikey Graham and Noddy Holder. 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). The team visits Leamington Spa. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

24 HOURS IN A&E 9pm, Channel 4

Return of the documentary following life inside one of Britain’s busiest A&E departments at King’s College Hospital in south London. It’s Red Nose Day, but there’s little to laugh about for 33-year-old Dilson, who is rushed in with knife wounds to his head and neck after being attacked outside a nightclub.

Channel 4

6.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.25 Frasier (R,S). 11.00 Building the Dream (S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). Words-and-numbers game, with John Inverdale in Dictionary Corner. 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: ’Til Lies Do Us Part (S) (2007). Thriller, with Paula Trickey, Al Sapienza and Thomas Calabro. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 3/8. Ardhi tries to walk unaided. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Val takes her frustrations out on Eric. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Liz is shocked to hear Tina has given Peter an ultimatum and urges her to make a clean break.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 The World’s Biggest Bomb: Revealed (R,S,HD). The Cold War race for nuclear supremacy in the 1950s. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Midsomer Murders (S,HD). 2/5. A series of killings in Midsomer St Claire seem to be inspired by macabre images on a medieval fresco recently discovered in the church crypt. As the village prepares for storms and flooding, it appears that someone is using ancient torture methods to punish modern-day ‘sinners’. With help from sidekick Charlie Nelson, Barnaby tries to get to the bottom of the case, and unearths a long-held secret that takes him by surprise. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Restoration Man (S). 2/7. See Choices Above.

8.00 Bigger Big Body Squad (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (S,HD). Emma Willis presents the first eviction of the series, announcing who has come bottom in the vote and chatting to them about life in the house.

▼

Celebrity Big Brother … 9pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/22. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S). Finn and Robbie plot to steal £10,000 from the safe at Attwells, but are caught in the act by Nana McQueen.

▼

Secrets of the Living Dolls, 11.05pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

▼

The Chase, 5pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 98/140. Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 3/20. Michael Portillo celebrates Victorian trade with the Preston Guild. 7.00 Great British Garden Revival (S,HD). 6/10. Diarmuid Gavin makes the case for glasshouses, which he feels bring a sense of adventure, flair and excitement to the nation’s gardens.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Lauren is angry about Max and Kirsty’s reconciliation. 8.30 Waterloo Road (S,HD). 11/20. See Choices Above.

8.00 Stargazing Live (S,HD). 2/3. Dara O Briain and Professor Brian Cox are joined by astronauts Walt Cunningham and Chris Hadfield, while Liz Bonnin attempts to broadcast live from 28,000ft above the Arctic Circle.

9.30 Live at the Apollo (S,HD). 5/6. Jack Whitehall hosts an evening of stand-up at the Apollo in Hammersmith, London, introducing routines by Katherine Ryan and Rich Hall. Postponed from December 20.

9.00 Stargazing Live: Back to Earth (S). 2/3. Discussion and debate from the team. 9.30 The Hidden World of Britain’s Immigrants (S,HD). Fergal Keane uncovers the realities of life for Britain’s illegal immigrants.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD). 10/36. With Steve Redgrave and Neil Back.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show (R,S,HD). 1/10. The host welcomes another batch of celebrity guests to his famous green room, including leading lights from TV and film, before subjecting them to a no-holdsbarred bout of questioning.

10.00 Benefits Street (R,S). 1/5. Documentary following the lives of people who are heavily reliant on welfare payments, revealing the daily challenges they face in tough economic times.

10.30 Hens Behaving Badly (S,HD). 1/3. New series. A bride-to-be invites her long-lost sister and future mother-in-law to her night out in Manchester, while another parties in Newcastle before emigrating to Australia.

▼

10 11

Great British Garden Revival, 7pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

▼

6 7 8 9

The One Show, 7pm

11.05 The League Cup Show (S,HD). Highlights of the semi-final first-leg matches. 11.50 Mimic (S,HD) (1997). Horror from director Guillermo del Toro, starring Mira Sorvino and Jeremy Northam. ●●●

11.20 Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Action from the fifth day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green, featuring matches in the men’s and ladies’ competitions.

11.40 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands (R,S,HD). 1/8. Documentary following the lives of expats and tourists enjoying the attractions of the Greek island.

11.05 Secrets of the Living Dolls (R,S). Documentary delving into the extraordinary world of ‘female masking’, where men strive to become their own ideal fantasy woman by wearing elaborate rubber suits.

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). Rylan Clark presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-thescenes insights.

1.25 Weatherview (S). 1.30 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Darts Extra (S). The BDO World Championships. Extended highlights of the matches on the fifth day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green. 2.10 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD). An insight into traditional kyogen Japanese comedy theatre. With voiceover. 2.40 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 2.55 Film: Space Cowboys (S,HD) (2000). See Choices Above. ●●●● 5.00 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

12.05 Launched at Red Bull Studios (S). 12.30 Film: Serpico (S,HD) (1973). See Choices Above. ●●●●● 2.45 Film: The Bad and the Beautiful (S) (1952). Drama, with Kirk Douglas and Lana Turner. ●●●●● 4.45 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.35 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (R,S,HD). 5.45 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Big Game (S,HD). Poker game in which amateurs compete against worldclass professionals. 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 True CSI (S). A New Jersey man who found his wife dead. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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ASHLEY BANJO’S BIG TOWN DANCE 8pm, Sky1

New series. The Got to Dance judge and his fellow Diversity members teach the people of Stockton-on-Tees how to dance. With only two months to pull off the project, time is of the essence as they need to learn in time for a show-stopping performance featuring more than 5,000 residents.

George Clarke follows a couple’s project to transform a derelict flint mill in Stone, Staffordshire, and uncovers the link between the building and the work of Josiah Wedgwood.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 Holiday Airport: Lanzarote 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! 7.55 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 Real Housewives of DC 10.30 Real Housewives of Orange County 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 The Cube 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00 Glee 10.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 11.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 11.30 Charmed (R). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

THE RESTORATION MAN 8pm, Channel 4

SPACE COWBOYS 2.55am, ITV

GOLD

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter 7.00 Glee 8.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 A League of Their Own (R,S).

SERPICO 12.30am, Channel 4

An ageing former test pilot is called on to stop a malfunctioning Soviet satellite from crashing to Earth. Adventure, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood.

6.15 Bread 6.45 To the Manor Born 7.15 As Time Goes By 7.55 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 Bread 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Vicar of Dibley 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

A cop tries to expose police corruption, leaving him in danger from his fellow officers. Drama directed by Sidney Lumet, starring Al Pacino.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 10.00 Revista De La Liga Special. 1.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 2.00 Football Gold 2.15 Football Gold 2.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 3.00 Revista De La Liga Special

The Magaluf … 10pm

Final Destination 3, 10pm

Mad Dogs: The Finale, 9pm

The Royle Family, 9pm

What’s the Story?, 10pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Alaster from Surrey chooses three blind dates. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Amir Khan and Jack Whitehall. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. Foggy demonstrates his hypnosis skills. 6.40 The Vicar of Dibley

6.00 Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold. Classic action.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates another selection of home-video howlers. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Nana McQueen’s attacker finds a brutal way to silence John Paul. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Lisa goes on a rampage through school. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). With the voice of Steve Carell.

7.20 The Vicar of Dibley. Geraldine conducts a radical Sunday service. Comedy, starring Dawn French and Gary Waldhorn.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Alan is given a makeover. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie asks Rose to pose as his girlfriend. Comedy, starring Charlie Sheen.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon and Penny bond as they miss Leonard. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Leonard and Sheldon go through an adjustment period.

8.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance (HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic look at soaps and celebrities. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic look at soaps and celebrities.

7.00 Live Capital One Cup Football (HD). Coverage of the second semi-final first-leg match (Kick-off TBA), as the teams aim to gain an advantage ahead of the return fixture. Eventual winners Swansea City took a major step towards glory at this stage last season when they recorded an excellent 2-0 away win over Chelsea.

9.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale (R,S,HD). Max Beesley, Philip Glenister, John Simm and Marc Warren return for the fourth and final chapter, which sees the lads back in Britain and trying to turn their lives around.

9.00 The Royle Family. The family argues over a television programme. 9.40 The Royle Family. Nana recovers from an operation to remove a cataract, while Antony takes a ribbing about his new girlfriend.

9.00 Benidorm (R,HD). The 9.00 The Tomorrow People. Garveys’ holiday starts to New series. American scigo wrong at Alicante fi drama, based on the Airport, while swingers UK TV series of the same Donald and Jacqueline name, about the next stage a protest when evolutionary leap of manager Joyce refuses to mankind – humans born give them a room. with paranormal powers. Robbie Amell stars. 10.00 The Magaluf 10.00 Final Destination 3 Weekender (R,HD). The (HD) (2006). Teenagers show following the who narrowly escaped antics of six young death in a rollercoaster people on holiday disaster begin to meet returns, with three lads mysteriously gruesome from Weston-Superfates. Horror sequel, Mare and three girls starring Mary Elizabeth from Liverpool staying Winstead and Ryan at the Lively Hotel. Merriman. ●●● 11.00 Fake Reaction (R,HD). With Helen Flanagan, Marlon Davis, Brian McFadden and his wife Vogue. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R).

11.50 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon learns his friends tampered with the Arctic expedition data.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R). 12.45 The Magaluf Weekender (R,HD). 1.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). The host takes his successful talk show stateside, where he invites American guests to air their differences. 2.30 Teleshopping. Buying goods from the comfort of home.

12.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.50 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R). 1.55 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 2.15 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 2.35 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.00 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.25 Glee (R,HD). 4.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

10.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale 10.20 The Royle Family. Jim 10.00 What’s the Story? (HD). causes so much friction (R,S,HD). The last ever Sarah-Jane Mee presents in the Royle household episode sees the lads try a discussion show that Barbara decides she to turn their lives around focusing on recent sports has had enough of his with a plan from Rick developments. laziness and walks out. that could pocket them two million euros each – although knowing their luck, things won’t quite work out that way. 11.00 The Royle Family. The 11.00 A League of Their Royles celebrate Own (R,S,HD). With Gael Antony’s 18th birthday. Clichy and Dara O Briain. 11.40 Early Doors. Tension mounts in the Grapes as the football card winner is announced.

11.00 Football Gold 11.15 Football Gold 11.30 Football Gold 11.45 Football Gold

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). 1.00 An Idiot Abroad (R,S,HD). 2.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S,HD). 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline (R,S,HD).

12.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). Action from the second semifinal first-leg match. 1.00 Copa Del Rey Football 2.00 Copa Del Rey Football 3.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 4.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 5.00 Football Gold 5.15 Football Gold 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

12.20 The Royle Family 1.00 The Royle Family 1.30 The Royle Family 2.00 The Royle Family 2.30 The Royle Family. Denise has an accident while out shopping and learns the true value of nipple pads, while Jim struggles with baby David’s dirty nappy.

BBC3

7.00 World’s Craziest Fools (R,S). 7.30 Top Gear (R,S,HD). 8.30 Would I Lie to You? (R,S,HD). With Sarah Millican, Jon Richardson, David Harewood and Bob Mortimer. 9.00 Die Hard with a Vengeance (S,HD) (1995). Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis. ●●●● 11.00 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Lauren is angry about Max and Kirsty’s reconciliation. 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). Peter learns Loretta is having an affair. 11.55 Family Guy (R,S). 12.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 World’s Craziest Fools (R,S). 1.30 Comedy Fest Live 2013 (R,S,HD). 2.30 Would I Lie to You? (R,S,HD). 3.00 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Orangutan Diary (R). A newborn fights for its life. 8.00 Rome’s Lost Empire (R,HD). Dan Snow uses satellite technology to reveal the secrets of the Roman Empire. 9.30 Hurricanes and Heatwaves: The Highs and Lows of British Weather. The evolution of the weather forecast. 10.30 Horizon: Global Weirding (R,HD). Why the world’s weather seems to be getting more extreme. 11.30 Endeavour: Everest by Canoe (R,HD). 12.15 Krakatoa Revealed (R). 1.05 Rome’s Lost Empire (R,HD). 2.35 Hurricanes and Heatwaves: The Highs and Lows of British Weather (R).

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TV PICKS

SILENT WITNESS 9pm, BBC1

Nikki’s testimony leads to the release of a convicted killer, angering the detective who originally put the man away. But then another murder is committed.

BBC1

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BIRDS OF A FEATHER 8.30pm, ITV

Now that Sharon has given up work, Tracey is the only one in the house bringing in a wage, and it’s not nearly enough to pay the bills, so Dorien kindly offers to dip into her savings to help out. However, when she calls the bank it emerges every penny she had has been spent on legal fees.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer 7.05 Rip Off Britain: Holidays 7.50 Real Lives Reunited 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.05 Tudor Monastery Farm (R,S). 10.05 Kangaroo Dundee (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 News (S,HD). 11.30 World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 4.15 The Great British Winter (R,S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

CHARLIE BROOKER’S WEEKLY WIPE 10pm, BBC2

THE UNDATEABLES 9pm, Channel 4

New series. A satirical look at the latest news from politics, the media and the internet, casting an eye over developments in TV, cinema, computer games and social media.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). The team returns to Windsor. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). Three bakeries in Scotland compete. 5.00 The Chase (S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

Return of the documentary following people with a range of restrictive conditions as they search for romance. Mature student Mary, winner of four gold medals for Team GB at the World Dwarf Games, prepares for an evening of champagne and ice-skating with personal trainer Jet.

Channel 4

6.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.25 Frasier (R,S). 11.00 Building the Dream (S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Another contestant hopes to win big money. 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S). Four contestants in Bristol compete.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Got Thin – Got Fat Again! (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 1.15 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Stolen Innocence (S) (2007). Thriller, starring Gina Philips and Ellie Harvie. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Susan accepts she is having a relapse.

QI, 9.30pm

Britain’s Best Bakery, 4pm

Deal or No Deal, 4pm

Botched Up Bodies, 10pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Nana McQueen’s attacker comes up with a brutal way to keep John Paul from revealing his identity.

6.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 4/8. A storm heading for Sulawesi spells danger for the two clans. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Ian upsets Denise by criticising her new dress. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 99/140. Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 4/20. Michael Portillo crosses into West Yorkshire. 7.00 Great British Garden Revival (S,HD). 7/10. Charlie Dimmock urges gardeners to consider installing ponds, while Chris Beardshaw makes the case for stumperies.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Eric tries to get Val to open up to him. 7.30 Is Britain Back in Business?: Tonight (S,HD). A rise in British manufacturing jobs predicted over the next decade.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 World’s Busiest Hotel (R,S,HD). Behind the scenes at the Venetian Palazzo hotel complex in Las Vegas. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

Question Time, 10.35pm

8.00 Dolphins – Spy in the Pod (S,HD). 2/2. David Tennant narrates the second in a twopart documentary. A young bottlenose strikes out on its own, joining a gang and participating in an initiation ceremony.

8.00 Stargazing Live (S,HD). 3/3. Dara O Briain and Professor Brian Cox reveal the results of the viewers’ challenge to locate undiscovered galaxies at the edge of space. Last in the series.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Alicia and Leyla are arrested at the strip club, and Jai is alarmed when David mentions Priya’s inability to keep food down. 8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 2/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Supersize vs Superskinny (S). 1/8. New series. A 21st chef swaps diets with an 8st woman who has a habit of skipping meals, while Emma Woolf investigates pro-anorexia websites. Presented by Christian Jessen.

8.00 World’s Worst Holiday Horrors (S,HD). New series. Trips that have gone badly wrong, including a disastrous cruise around Liverpool’s Albert Dock, a wildfire on an Italian beach and a flash flood in Utah. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 3/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Stargazing Live: Back to Earth (S). 3/3. Professor Brian Cox, Dara O Briain and guests return for half an hour of chat, debate and audience participation. Last in the series. 9.30 QI (R,S,HD). 18/18. An edition of the show celebrating the Cultural Olympiad.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 2/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Undateables (S). 1/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). The housemates begin their first two-day shopping task in which they carry out a series of mini-challenges aimed at tipping the odds in their favour of winning a luxury food budget.

▼

10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe (S). 1/6. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Brits Are Coming (S). Nick Grimshaw reveals the nominees for this year’s Brit Awards, and introduces music by Rudimental, Tinie Tempah and the 2014 Critics’ Choice winner Sam Smith.

10.00 What Happens in Sunny Beach (S). 1/3. New series. Documentary following young British people on holiday in a hedonistic seaside resort in Bulgaria, discovering what happens when inhibitions are cast aside.

10.00 Botched Up Bodies (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Some of Britain’s leading plastic surgeons work to rectify more botched cosmetic procedures. Marie Eaton underwent a gastric bypass and shed more than 35 stone, but the 43-yearold was also left with masses of excess skin.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 15/38. David Dimbleby chairs a debate from London, where a panel of guests faces topical questions from the audience.

11.35 This Week (S). Andrew Neil introduces a round-table chat, in which he, Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott take a lighthearted romp through the political and parliamentary developments of the past seven days.

11.20 Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Action from the sixth day at the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green, featuring quarter-final matches in the men’s and ladies’ competitions.

11.35 Weight Loss Ward (R,S,HD). 1/3. Return of the documentary following staff at Sunderland Royal Hospital’s obesity unit, where thousands of patients go under the knife each year in an attempt to shed the pounds.

11.05 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 1/8. A 33-year-old man is rushed into King’s College Hospital with knife wounds after being attacked, while doctors examine a toddler who has not urinated for two days.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-thescenes insights.

12.20 Skiing Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Darts Extra (S). Day six of the BDO World Championships. 2.10 Sign Zone: Iceland Foods: Life in the Freezer Cabinet (R,S). The fortunes of frozen-food supermarket chain Iceland. 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools – Science Britannica 5.00 Schools – Cracking the Code (S,HD).

12.30 Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 Is Britain Back in Business?: Tonight (R,S,HD). A rise in British manufacturing jobs predicted over the next decade. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

12.00 One Born Every Minute (R,S,HD). 1.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 1.55 The Fat Fighters (R,S,HD). The work of personal trainers at a distinctive London gym. 2.50 Food Unwrapped Diet Special (R,S). 3.45 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 4.40 Countdown (R,S,HD). 5.25 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD). 5.50 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino Viewers get the chance to take part in live interactive gaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.05 True CSI (R,S). How forensics help solve real-life murders. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

after

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THE ROYLE FAMILY 9.40pm, GOLD

The family prepares for baby David’s christening, with a reluctant Jim being coaxed out of his armchair to help Twiggy strip the dining room wallpaper - but using Barbara’s fish slice to remove it instead of a steamer proves hard work. Award-winning comedy, starring Caroline Aherne.

A cocktail waiter turns up looking for work and quickly impresses Joyce, much to Mateo’s annoyance, while Tiger and Michael steal the all-inclusive wristbands and sell them in town.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 Coronation Street 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! 7.55 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 Real Housewives of DC 10.30 Real Housewives of Orange County 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R).

E4 6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 90210 (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 11.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 11.30 Charmed (R). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

BENIDORM 9pm, ITV

THE INBETWEENERS MOVIE 9pm, E4

Comedy based on the TV series, with Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, James Buckley, Blake Harrison, Emily Head and Anthony Head.

GOLD

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD).

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL 10.50pm, ITV2

A jilted man takes a trip to Hawaii, only to find his ex and her new boyfriend are staying at the same resort. Comedy, with Jason Segel.

Sky Sports 1

6.15 Bread 6.45 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 Bread 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Vicar of Dibley 1.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.30 To the Manor Born 3.05 As Time Goes By 3.45 Jeeves and Wooster 4.55 Keeping Up Appearances 5.35 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 10.00 Copa Del Rey Football 12.00 Spanish Football Gold 12.15 Spanish Football Gold 12.30 Spanish Football Gold 12.45 Spanish Football Gold 1.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 2.00 Sporting Greats 2.30 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival (HD).

Tricked, 9pm

The Big Bang Theory, 8pm

Inside RAF Brize … 8pm

Keeping Up … 4.55pm

Live Dubai … 2.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Anna from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, takes part in the matchmaking show. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Raj faces being sent back to India.

6.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). With the guest voice of Lady Gaga.

6.15 The Vicar of Dibley Geraldine tries to make the supreme sacrifice by giving up chocolate for Lent.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Featuring sports day disasters and bowling mishaps.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). John Paul struggles to come to terms with his horrifying ordeal. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Homer becomes an author of children’s books. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

7.10 The Vicar of Dibley Geraldine plays Cupid in her efforts to bring Alice and Hugo together, and at the same time receives an astonishing proposal.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Alan and Charlie catch flu before a date. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie tries to manage his money. Comedy, starring Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). The friends compete in a scavenger hunt. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Amy spoils one of Sheldon’s favourite films by pointing out a plot hole.

8.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (S,HD). A look at the public events the military airbase has taken part in, from the world’s biggest air show to a team parachute jump on to Blackpool beach.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp The quirky comic takes a surreal look at soap sagas and celebrities, subjecting them to his unique brand of scrutiny.

6.30 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news surrounding the Premier League, featuring interviews with managers and players. 7.00 Live European Challenge Cup Rugby Union (HD). Coverage of a fixture from the fifth round of pool matches, as two teams contest their penultimate encounter of this stage. The final pool fixtures are set to take place next week with the knockout stages commencing in April.

9.00 Tricked (R,HD). Ben 9.00 The Inbetweeners 9.00 David Attenborough’s 9.00 The Royle Family Hanlin messes with the Movie (HD) (2011). Natural History 9.40 The Royle Family mind of Atomic Kitten’s Awkward teenagers Museum Alive (R,S,HD). See Choices Above. Natasha Hamilton as he Simon, Will, Jay and Neil David Attenborough sends her on a creepy plan a holiday to the invites viewers to join date, and also makes the Greek island of Crete him as he takes an afterearth move for boxer Joe after they finish their hours stroll around one Calzaghe. exams, hoping to of his favourite places, experience drink, sex the Natural History and debauchery beyond Museum. their wildest dreams. 10.15 The Royle Family Nana 10.00 Capital One Cup 10.00 Fake Reaction (HD). However, things do not 10.30 A League of Their bores the family with Own (R,S,HD). Ruth With Charlotte Crosby, Football (HD). Action quite work out as memories of her recently Jones and Alastair Gemma Cairney, Ivo from the semi-final firstplanned. Comedy based deceased friend Elsie, Campbell join team Graham and Louie leg matches, as the on the TV series, with while baby David’s captains Jamie Spence. teams involved aimed to Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, crying proves unsettling. Redknapp and Andrew gain an advantage over 10.50 Forgetting Sarah James Buckley and Blake Flintoff on the sportstheir opponents ahead 10.50 The Royle Family Marshall (HD) (2008). A Harrison. See Choices based comedy quiz. of their return meeting. Antony displays his musician is devastated Above. ●●● Hosted by James Corden. juggling skills. when his actress girlfriend leaves him, and he tries to cure his broken heart with a 11.30 The Royle Family Dave 11.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing 11.00 The Inbetweeners Top 11.00 A League of Their holiday in Hawaii. grows a goatee beard 10 Moments (R). A Own (R,S). Sports-based magazine, including Romantic comedy, and the Royles throw a countdown of the comecomedy quiz, hosted by highlights of recent starring Jason Segel, party to celebrate baby dy’s greatest moments James Corden. Jamie bouts and interviews Kristen Bell and Russell David’s christening. from all three series as Redknapp and Andrew with the stars currently Brand. Including FYI Comedy, starring Ricky voted for by the public, Flintoff are the captains, causing a stir in the ring. Daily. See Choices Tomlinson and Caroline featuring interviews with with guests Rio Above. ●●● Aherne. stars and celebrity fans. Ferdinand and Lee Mack. 1.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Alan and Charlie catch flu before a date. 1.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie tries to manage his money. 2.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). A practical joker scares a bungee jumper. 2.25 Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon tries to modify Penny’s behaviour. 12.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 1.00 Revenge (R,HD). 2.00 Rude Tube: Extreme Rides (R,HD). 2.55 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.15 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.45 Glee 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.10 Early Doors Eddie celebrates his wedding anniversary at the pub with Joan, even though his mother-in-law is causing him concern, while Duffy ropes Joe into a deception. 12.50 The Royle Family 1.20 The Royle Family 1.50 The Royle Family 2.20 The Royle Family

12.00 NFL – A Football Life (HD). Documentary series focusing on the lives of NFL players. 1.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 2.00 Copa Del Rey Football 3.00 Ringside (HD). 4.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 5.00 Premier League World (HD). 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

BBC3

7.00 Winter Wipeout (R,S). 8.00 Motorway Cops (R,S). Traffic police enforce the law on Britain’s most dangerous highways. 9.00 Tough Young Teachers (S,HD). New series. Six new graduates teach at three of London’s toughest schools. 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). An edition from 2011. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Ian upsets Denise by criticising her new dress. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.00 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 2.30 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R,HD). 8.00 Cleopatra: Portrait of a Killer (R,HD). Neil Oliver examines the reign of the Egyptian queen. 9.00 The Treasures of Ancient Egypt (HD). New series. The story of Ancient Egyptian art through 30 masterpieces. 10.00 Lost Land of the Volcano (R,HD). Scientists and wildlife filmmakers explore a volcano in New Guinea. 11.00 The Other Pompeii: Life and Death in Herculaneum (R,HD). 12.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). 1.00 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R,HD). 1.30 Lost Land of the Volcano (R,HD). 2.30 The Treasures of Ancient Egypt (R).

THURSDAY January 9 ��’� ��

ignition

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Keukenhof Flower Festival, Holland Door2Door Holiday 3rd - 6th May 2014 Spend a day exploring the Keukenhof Gardens and watching the flower parade go by. Other days will be spent on a steam train ride from Hoorn, visiting the fishing village of Volendam and on a glass top boat trip in Amsterdam+.

Call 01454 319047 to book now

5 Days Half Boa rd

£490.00*

*Single supplement applies + Boat trip payable on the day

Holidays

The Coach Stop, 1 Hounds Rd, Chipping Sodbury. BS37 6EE | www.chauffeurhireplus.co.uk Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

TV PICKS

THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW 10.35pm, BBC1

KANGAROO DUNDEE 8.30pm, BBC2

Graham meets a quartet of movie stars – Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone, Carey Mulligan and Jonah Hill – who talk about their new films.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (S,HD). 11.45 Real Lives Reunited (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Father Brown (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

It’s all change for Brolga when he moves in with his girlfriend after years of living a solitary life in a tin shack. Meanwhile, the older kangaroos put Rex, Ruby and new orphan Bluey in their places as the trio are introduced to the mob for the first time, before Brolga realises it may be time for certain joeys to move on.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays (R,S,HD). 7.45 Real Lives Reunited (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.00 Sign Zone: The Sacred Wonders of Britain (R,S). 10.00 Question Time (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00 Live Darts: BDO World Championships (S). 4.15 The Great British Winter (R,S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

PIERS MORGAN’S LIFE STORIES: MARY BERRY 9pm, ITV

The Great British Bake Off judge looks back on her life and career, and opens up about the death of her son William in a car accident when he was just 19.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). With Lucy Pargeter, George Takei and Phil Vickery. 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). From Royal Wootton Bassett, Wiltshire. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

ITALY UNPACKED 9pm, BBC2

Andrew Graham-Dixon and Giorgio Locatelli embark on a fresh tour of the country, beginning in Liguria – a region whose rugged mountains and rocky coastline once inspired English poets of the Romantic era. The pair visit Genoa, before heading on to Cinque Terre to navigate the scattered villages by boat.

Channel 4

6.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.25 Frasier (R,S). 11.00 Building the Dream (S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Game show. 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S). A week of dinner parties from Worcestershire.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Bigger Big Body Squad (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 The Mentalist (R,S). 3.15 Film: Defending Our Kids: The Julie Posey Story (S,HD) (2003). Fact-based drama, starring Annie Potts, Carl Marotte and Ksenia Solo. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Mastermind, 8pm

The Martin Lewis Money … 8pm

8 Out of 10 Cats Does … 9pm

Robson’s Extreme Fishing … 8pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/22. Homer builds a robot for Bart. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). John Paul struggles to come to terms with his horrifying ordeal.

6.00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails (R,S,HD). 5/8. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). 7.30 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). With Clare Grogan, Newton Faulkner, Richard Whitehead and Quentin Letts. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 100/140. Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 5/20. Michael Portillo joins a brass band in Honley, West Yorkshire. 7.00 Great British Garden Revival (S,HD). 8/10. Sarah Raven catches a glimpse of lawn perfection at Worcester College Oxford.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). David makes Leyla feel unwelcome on her return to the village. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Eva persuades Jason to give his dad a chance.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Hayley rushes to help two badly injured motorcyclists, and Duncan has to escort a monster truck. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

Miranda, 8.30pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Denise is consumed with guilt after the events of the party, although it seems Ian has other things on his mind. 8.30 Miranda (R,S,HD). 5/6. The shopkeeper realises she is still attracted to Gary.

8.00 Mastermind (S,HD). 18/31. Specialist subjects include Lord Byron, RAF Bomber Command and Wes Anderson. 8.30 Kangaroo Dundee (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show (S,HD). 2/6. A guide to energy tariffs. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Roy is furious with the assistant for not selling him some out-ofdate strawberries – so he turns his hand to theft.

8.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast (S). 1/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge (S,HD). Robson Green is pitted against some of Tanzania’s best anglers in a search for wahoo, ruby snapper, rusty jobfish, reef fish, Nile tilapia and the highly prized Nile perch. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 4/10. Part two of two. There is still not enough evidence against Bennetto, so the police identify a second suspect – only for another body to turn up, creating an unwelcome media storm. Emilia Fox, David Caves and Richard Lintern star.

9.00 Italy Unpacked (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Mary Berry (S,HD). 2/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (S). 2/4. Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel show’s version of the famous quiz, with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by guests Miles Jupp and Aisling Bea.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (S,HD). Emma Willis presents the second eviction of the series, announcing who has come bottom in the vote and chatting to them about life in the house.

▼

10.00 QI (S,HD). 15/18. Comedians Sue Perkins, Reginald D Hunter and Jimmy Carr join regular Alan Davies on the comedy quiz, with host Stephen Fry asking a range of questions on the theme of kitsch. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 3/13. The couple discover their murdered colleague Robert had a wife when they receive a cryptic message, so they act quickly to determine how much she knows about their operation.

10.00 David Blaine: Real or Magic (R,S,HD). The illusionist performs mind-boggling tricks for a host of celebrities, including Hollywood A-listers Jamie Foxx and Will Smith, and musicians Katy Perry, Lenny Kravitz and Kanye West.

10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, featuring gossip, chat and features from the house. Including a debate on the burning issues, celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-thescenes insights.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 12/21. See Choices Above.

11.25 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. Linda struggles to hide her feelings about Johnny’s sexuality, Wayne tells Nancy he is moving into the B&B and Billy invites Peter to move in with him and Lola.

11.00 Weather (S). 11.05 Darts: BDO World Championships (S). Action from the seventh day at the Lakeside Country Club. 11.55 Darts Extra (S). Day seven of the BDO World Championships.

11.35 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 2/7. A cocktail waiter turns up looking for work and quickly impresses Joyce, much to Mateo’s annoyance, while Tiger and Michael steal the all-inclusive wristbands and sell them in town.

11.25 Saw (S) (2004). See Choices Above. ●●●●

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother: Live from the House (S,HD). All the action from the star-studded compound as the housemates have a few drinks following tonight’s eviction.

1.45 Weatherview (S). 1.50 BBC News (S,HD).

1.55 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S). David Dimbleby chairs a debate from London, where a panel of guests faces topical questions from the audience. 2.55 Sign Zone: The Culture Show: Vicky Featherstone – All Change at the Royal Court (R,S). The opening season for the theatre company’s new artistic director. 3.25 This Is BBC Two (S).

12.25 Jackpot247. 3.00 Film: The Majestic (S,HD) (2001). See Choices Above. ●●●● 5.30 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

1.10 Coming Up (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Big C: Hereafter (S,HD). Sean debates his organ donation options. 2.35 Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 (S,HD). 3.00 Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 (S,HD). 3.20 How Not to Get Old (R,S,HD). 4.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.10 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.25 Countdown (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino Viewers get the chance to take part in live interactive gaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.05 True CSI (R,S). 3.55 Motorsport Mundial (HD). A round-up of motorsport news. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

after

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

THE BIG BANG THEORY 8.30pm, E4

New series. Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty demonstrate their culinary talents at their cafe on Southend Pier, joined by guests including athlete Usain Bolt, who prepares jerk pork.

ITV2

Sheldon stumbles upon a major scientific breakthrough, causing him to feel like a fraud, while Penny steps up her game with Leonard after seeing Howard make a romantic gesture to Bernadette. Comedy, starring Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco.

Sky1

FILM PICKS

JAMIE AND JIMMY’S FRIDAY NIGHT FEAST 8pm, Channel 4

THE MAJESTIC 3am, ITV

SAW 11.25pm, Channel 4

A man in 1950s America falls victim to the communist witch-hunts, only to lose his memory and be mistakenly hailed as a war hero. Drama, with Martin Landau.

GOLD 6.15 Bread 6.45 To the Manor Born 7.25 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 Bread 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 The Vicar of Dibley 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

Two strangers find themselves at the mercy of a madman, who forces his victims to play sadistic games with lifeor-death consequences. Horror, with Cary Elwes.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Emmerdale 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of DC 10.30 Real Housewives of Orange County (R). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County. 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R).

6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00 Glee 10.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 11.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 11.30 Charmed (R). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 4.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 A League of Their Own (R,S).

You’ve Been Framed!, 7pm

How I Met Your … 7.30pm

A League of Their … 11pm

As Time Goes By, 7.25am

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Tony from Bristol chooses three blind dates from five potential partners. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Gabby Logan and Ardal O’Hanlon. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine 6.40 The Vicar of Dibley The villagers set up a radio station.

6.00 Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold. Classic action. 6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Naughty animals and crazy teenagers. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). A driver reverses his car into a river.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Fraser punishes Trevor for his forbidden liaison with Grace. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Marge loses all memory of Homer. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer buys Lisa a pony.

7.20 The Vicar of Dibley Geraldine hits stardom after an appearance on Terry Wogan’s radio show. Guest starring Darcey Bussell.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Part one of two. Charlie falls for a crazy woman. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). See Choices Above.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon re-evaluates the time he spends with Amy. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon unwittingly makes a scientific breakthrough.

8.00 Futurama (R,S). Part one of four. A planetsized monster invades the universe. 8.30 Futurama (R,S). Part two of four. Bender is inducted into the League of Robots.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp The quirky comic takes a surreal look at soap sagas and celebrities, subjecting them to his unique brand of scrutiny.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Leicester City v Derby County (Kick-off 7.45pm). All the action from the Championship clash between the Midlands rivals at the King Power Stadium. The Foxes have already defeated Derby twice this season, winning 1-0 at Pride Park in the reverse fixture last August, before prevailing 2-1 here in the Capital One Cup the following month.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 10.00 Copa Del Rey Football 11.00 Spanish Football Gold 11.30 Premier League World (HD). 12.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 1.00 Copa Del Rey Football. 2.00 Premier League World (HD). 2.30 Football Gold 3.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 4.00 Copa Del Rey Football 5.00 Premier League World (HD). 5.30 Football Gold

9.00 Futurama (R,S). Part 9.00 The 40 Year Old Virgin 9.00 The Waterboy (HD) 9.00 The Royle Family: The (1998). The coach of an three of four. Monster (HD) (2005). A middleQueen of Sheba OneAmerican football team Yivo takes control of aged shop worker off episode. Almost seven spots the talent of their Earth. reveals he has never years have passed since put-upon waterboy and been intimate with a Baby David’s christening, 9.30 Futurama (R,S). Part gives him the chance to woman, which prompts but Jim is still setting the four of four. Monster prove himself on the his shocked colleagues to world to rights from his Yivo invites humanity to pitch. Comedy, with set him up with a series armchair and Denise is move into his abode to Adam Sandler and Kathy of potentially passionate pregnant again. Caroline make amends for lying. Bates. ●●● dates. When he falls for Aherne stars. a single mother, his 10.15 The Royle Family One- 10.00 The Fantasy Football 10.00 Road Wars (R,S). The friends think he is right 10.50 Rude Tube: Extreme off festive edition from Road Crime Unit and the Club (HD). John Fendley Rides (R,HD). The most on course for a lusty 2009. Jim and Barbara Tactical Aid Group join and Paul Merson present popular internet videos liaison, but his new cannot decide whether forces on a d rug raid and a discussion on key featuring modes of partner is not ready for a to spend a cash windfall Giles pulls over the same fantasy football issues, as transport, counting physical relationship. on a holiday or a motorist twice in one well as the weekend’s down the 50 most Judd Apatow’s comedy, satellite HD system. Sue week. Plus, a female Premier League matches. dangerous ways of starring Steve Carell, Johnston and Ricky drink-driver offers an Also featuring guests getting from A to B. Catherine Keener and Tomlinson star. officer more than just a from the worlds of sport Paul Rudd. Including FYI breath test. and showbiz. Daily. ●●● 11.20 Take Me Out (R,HD). An 11.50 The Big Bang Theory IT consultant, an (R,HD). Sheldon’s entrepreneur, a opponent in a daredevil dad and a competition is his archstudent try to impress 30 enemy, Star Trek: The single women and win a Next Generation actor date to the Isle of Wil Wheaton. Fernandos.

11.40 Early Doors Ken and 11.00 A League of Their the regulars prepare for Own (R,S,HD). Clare a trip to York races, Balding and Boris Becker Melanie finally meets join team captains Jamie her real father, and Redknapp and Andrew Tommy causes uproar Flintoff on the sportswhen he buys a round. based comedy quiz. Hosted by James Corden.

11.00 Premier League Preview (HD). A look ahead to the weekend’s fixtures. 11.30 Football Gold Classic action. 11.45 Football Gold

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R). Part one of two. Charlie falls for a crazy woman. 12.55 Two and a Half Men (R). 1.20 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records: Bonkingly Big Hits (R). 2.15 Tinie Tempah: The Hot Desk (R,HD). 2.25 Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Jimmy Carr and Mike Tindall. 1.00 An Idiot Abroad (R,S,HD). 2.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 2.30 Football Gold 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 5.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

12.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.50 PhoneShop (R,HD). 1.25 Facejacker (R,HD). 1.55 Very Important People (R,HD). 2.20 Balls of Steel Australia (R). 2.50 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.10 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.35 Glee (R,HD). 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.20 The Royle Family: The Queen of Sheba One-off episode. Almost seven years have passed since Baby David’s christening, but Jim is still setting the world to rights from his armchair and Denise is pregnant again. 1.30 The Royle Family 2.30 Early Doors Melanie meets her real father.

BBC3

7.00 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes (R,S). 7.25 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 8.15 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). The Time Lord encounters a spaceship full of dinosaurs. 9.00 Sherlock (R,S,HD). A killer stalks John and Mary’s wedding reception. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Denise is consumed with guilt. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Lois is reunited with an old flame. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Live at the Electric (S,HD). 12.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2010 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Live at the Electric (HD). 2.30 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes (R,S). 2.55 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 3.25 Bluestone 42 (HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 BBC Proms Chamber Music (HD). New series. Highlights from Cadogan Hall in London. 8.00 Yehudi Menuhin at the BBC (HD). New series. Archive footage of the great American violinist. 9.00 Born to Be Wild (HD). New series. The evolution of 20th-century American rock music. 10.00 Jimi Hendrix: The Road to Woodstock (HD). The guitarist performs at the New York festival in 1969. 11.00 The Doors: The Story of LA Woman (R). 12.00 Born to Be Wild (R,HD). 1.00 Jimi Hendrix: The Road to Woodstock (R,HD). 2.00 The Doors: The Story of LA Woman (R). 3.00 Guitar Heroes on Later with Jools Holland

FRIDAY January 10 ��’� ��

Homes &Living �� ’� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy ;4 :89<

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