The Weekend 18 April 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

Weekend WhAt tO DO WIth YOUR tIME AnD MOnEY

FROM FRIDAY, ApRIl 18, 2014 ISSUE 100

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THE master of psychological illusion returns to the city where IT ALL BEGAN HELP FOR INSOMNIA AND HAY FEVER

THE EXTRAORDINARY VOICE OF LIz GREEN

LEARN TO MAKE CORNISH FAIRINGS

FAMILY FuN DOWN ON THE FARM

IDEAS

If you need see one film

If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

Competition Win a Lush handmade party

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SHOPPING

SERVING SWEET SCENTS Independent of the week Natalie Banyard meets the duo who have joined forces to offer flowers and chocolates under one roof

hocolates and flowers have always been a winning combination, so when Zara’s Chocolates and Ivory Flowers joined forces to open a new shop in Bedminster, they knew their businesses were a perfect fit. Bristol-born artisan chocolatier Zara Narracott, 25, and Xanthe Ivory, 28, a florist who hails from Somerset, met at the bustling Tobacco Factory Sunday market and decided to combine their passions. The shop on North Street opened its doors last November, offering melt-in-the-mouth handmade chocolates and exquisite fresh flowers. Working side-by-side under one roof has been an immediate hit with shoppers and the pair say they’ve barely had time to take it all in. “Zara and I have worked so hard and have been so busy that we’ve hardly had chance to think about what we’ve achieved,” smiles Xanthe. “So it’s lovely when people come in and say ‘well done’ and we look at each other and say, ‘wow! We’ve got a successful shop!’ We

do have to stop and pinch ourselves.” Chocoholic Zara says that, despite a degree in geography, working with chocolate was always on the cards. “I recently found my end-ofyear school book and I was put down as most likely to take over Cadbury Land and most likely to become Willy Wonka!” she laughs. “I started off doing a little taster chocolate-making session with Clifton Cakes and then an online course and really enjoyed those, so I thought I’d make a go of it. “I got a few bits of equipment and began making chocolate at home, playing around and trying new things for family and friends. From there, I started doing markets and supplying shops and then I met Xanthe and we decided to go for it and set up the shop.” Xanthe had a similar experience. She found university just wasn’t for her and when her sister suggested trying her hand at floristry she took to it immediately. Working with beautiful, fresh blooms, Xanthe creates everything from small, delicate posies to catering for

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�� ’� �� flower-filled weddings. Xanthe’s creations, which are beautifully displayed at the front of the boutique, evoke a typical English country garden. The arrangements are loosely and naturally presented and feature pretty, delicately scented flowers complemented by gorgeous foliage and herbs. Her ready-made arrangements include substantial, vintage-style hand-tied bouquets, pretty

flower-filled jam jars and floral displays in rustic enamel jugs. There are also numerous types of loose flowers to choose from, including eye-catching ranunculus, anemones, roses and narcissus, all seasonal and locally grown where possible. “I get lots of lovely comments about the flowers,” says Xanthe. “People often pop in for a floral gift or some blooms for their own homes.

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3 “I also do a lot of weddings, which start with a free hour-long consultation. I work with the bride to create something really special and I have had some really lovely feedback. I’m fully booked for the rest of the year.” While Xanthe begins to make up a fresh bouquet for a customer, Zara explains that she also makes her confectionery on the premises. “I make all the chocolate here in the shop, which our customers really enjoy watching. It makes the process very organic. “I like to get creative and I work hard to create new, beautiful designs and unique flavour combinations.” Zara’s chocolates, which are set out on a white country kitchen table and display cabinet, include quirky chocolate cups and saucers, beautifully presented truffles, mint and lavender chocolate bars and pots of salted caramel sauce. And, of course, it’s Easter, so Zara has some amazing Easter-themed creations, from

4 little chocolate chicks to enormous, bespoke eggs. “We want to offer something a little bit different – a little bit special,” concludes Zara. “We’ve had lots of compliments about how the shop looks and what we offer. It’s been a great start for us. “After all, who doesn’t like chocolates and flowers?”

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TIME FOR SOME EGG-CITEMENT From cheap and cheerful to fabulously indulgent, you can’t beat a traditional Easter egg!

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Celebrate Easter with Bristol Shopping Quarter Come and see Ben & Holly

Saturday 19th April at intervals between 11.30am – 4.30pm near Boots, Broadmead www.littlekingdom.co.uk © Astley Baker Davies Ltd/Entertainment One UK Ltd 2008.

Easter Display in The Galleries Tuesday 1st – Tuesday 22nd April

Take part in our Easter Camel Hunt

Saturday 5th – Monday 21st April with free craft workshops in John Wesley Chapel on Saturdays 5th, 12th & 19th April

(collect a map from John Wesley Chapel or Specsavers on Merchant St)

For full details visit www.bristolshoppingquarter.co.uk

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A LITTLE EGGS-TRA FOR EASTER If you’re all chocolated out this Easter, treat yourself or a loved one to one of these great gifts.

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HEALTH&WELLBEING

THERAPY FOR INSOMNIA Kate Edser finds out how to deal with this exhausting problem

ike food, water and shelter, sleep is essential for survival and a lack of it can be utterly debilitating, affecting physical and mental performance. There will inevitably be times when stress and/or depression will lead to insomnia, but for some people an inability to sleep can become chronic, over a period of years. For this group, help is available in Bristol at the Burden Centre, a specialist North Bristol NHS Trust sleep centre, where staff include consultant neuropychiatrist Dr Johanna Herod and sleep therapist Andrew Green. If your GP has referred you here, any physical causes of insomnia (commonly linked with the respiratory tract) should have been eliminated. Before arriving for an initial assessment, each patient will have been asked to keep a sleep diary for two weeks and to fill in a questionnaire covering sleeping habits, medication, exercise, restless legs, and the consumption of alcohol and caffeinated drinks. Dr Herod and Andrew Green quite often find that, because

patients have often lived with insomnia for a long time, they have already been down the self help route. This includes employing good “sleep hygiene” habits, which has nothing to do with cleanliness and everything to do with the bedroom environment and establishing good habits. Dr Herod says GPs take a careful history to determine the cause of insomnia. She explains: “The GP would ask if anything has happened recently; a death in the family, or a divorce, where insomnia is likely to be an appropriate adjustment, a stress associated with that event, in which case most GPs would give sound advice about optimising sleep – what we call sleep hygiene. “Most GPs would encourage sleep hygiene and might also consider prescribing a sleeping tablet for short-term sleep difficulties in the hope that people readjust and things sort themselves out. “There’s another group whose insomnia is related to depression, a long-term anxiety illness, or chronic pain, but the group that would be referred to us are those with chronic insomnia for seven to ten years.” Among the methods Mr Green

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employs to help insomniacs are relaxation, ensuring the bedroom is dark, cutting out caffeinated drinks in the evening, and taking the clock out of the bedroom. He says clock watching can make people more anxious about their sleep – or lack of it. “If you wake and think, ‘great, I’ve got two more hours before I have to get up’, that’s fine, but not if you wake and think, ‘oh my God, I’ve only got two more hours’. General advice is don’t watch the clock.” But it’s not just the ticking of time that increases anxiety. Mr Green adds: “One of the problems is that people start to worry about their sleep and become anxious about going to bed and they worry about their performance the next day. “Most people we meet will have looked up about sleep

hygiene before they come to us and they don’t need telling, but there’s not a lot of evidence that shows those things help people with chronic insomnia. “So what we do with those people is known as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for Insomnia (CBTI). It involves a package of measures. One is stimulus control, which is about creating an environment where there is an expectation of sleep, so that’s why we don’t like TVs in bedrooms. “Lots of people with insomnia will think, ‘I had a bad night last night, I must go to bed early tonight’, then they just spend longer in bed awake, so there’s a bad association and more anxiety. “Going to bed when tired (fatigued) is not always helpful for someone with insomnia: they are better off going to bed when

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they are sleepy (drowsy). We also advise people to keep the bedroom just for sleep and get up at the same time daily, which is important because it helps reset the clock. Again there’s a temptation to think, ‘I haven’t slept well, I’ll stay in bed a bit longer’ and that’s more likely to delay sleep. “Then there’s the 15-minute rule, which suggests you get out of bed if you can’t sleep. You go away and come back to bed when you’re sleepy. But you don’t want to try that if you’re elderly or vulnerable because we don’t want people getting out of bed at night and tripping over. “Another major point is known as sleep restriction. The idea is to spend in bed the time you normally do, or five or six hours, whatever is the greater, so we try and consolidate the sleep into that time and get

what we call more efficient sleep, so we can gradually increase the time in bed. “If you slept well last night between 11pm and 7am, your sleep efficiency will be 90-95 per cent, but someone with insomnia might go to bed at 10pm thinking they need to go to bed early in order to get more sleep, but not actually go to sleep until 1am, wake a couple of times in the night and get up at 7am and have a sleep efficiency of 50 per cent. “We also look at relaxation and learning to let go of tension and we look at what goes on in the mind. People say, ‘I go to bed and my mind just goes into overdrive and won’t stop racing thoughts’, or similar expressions. “People think they don’t have control over it, but we can choose what we think about.

Firstly, ensure you’ve dealt with all your daytime business so you’re not going to be thinking about those problems while in bed, and then think about something that’s just enough to keep your mind engaged, but not exciting or threatening. When you find yourself thinking about the bills, or tomorrow’s diary, you can take yourself back to this thought; usually we use imagery. “To get progress, I normally say give these things a try for about four weeks.” Dr Herod adds that it’s important to be realistic: “Intervention for chronic insomnia won’t mean we’re going to change you into a 17-year-old who can sleep all day!” She says that our sleeping patterns change throughout life and it’s quite normal for teenagers to sleep a lot and for

elderly people to sleep less as part of a normal aging process. And though CBTI is a vital part of the service at The Burden Centre (which is about to move to Southmead Hospital), Dr Herod’s expertise means that medication may also be prescribed. “There is a group among the insomniacs who are fretting and anxious during the daytime as well at night and they might benefit from an anti-depressant,” she says. “Taking that mild depression out of it might settle them back into a sleep pattern.” Other patients might benefit from a short course of sleeping tablets and some find that a change in lifestyle is the answer; to a job that doesn’t require unsociable shifts, for example. In short, everyone is different and no single approach works for all.

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3 -5 MAY RD

Come and experience the Motor Show

AT THE MALL CRIBBS CAUSEWAY FUN & FREE FOR ALL THE FAMILY New Cars • Used Cars • Family Entertainment

Visit mallcribbs.com for more info

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mazon’s done something no-one else has thought of: it’s turned a website into a device. The latest idea from the online retail giant is something called Dash (fresh.amazon.com/dash), and it comes from combining bits of two other Amazon services. The first is Fresh, the company’s groceries department which is only available (for now) to American customers. It works just like online supermarkets do over here – you order the stuff you want, and it gets delivered to your door at a time that suits you. The second is the voice-activated remote control that comes with the new Amazon Fire TV. The idea is, you just press a button and say what you want, and the box finds it for you. Take the guts of that remote control, add a barcode scanner, and connect the whole thing to your existing Amazon account and hey presto – you have an online shop that hangs on a hook in your kitchen.

Whenever you remember something you need, grab the Dash and say it out loud. If you can’t remember the name, or if there’s an old one right in front of you, just scan the barcode. Everything you say or scan is added to your next Amazon Fresh order and delivered in the usual way. No more of that tedious messing about with websites. Of course, a system like this is simpler by necessity. You can’t speak an item’s name into Dash and then flick through eight

pages of very similar variations of the same product, seeking out the best deal or the lowest price. That’s the price you pay for the ultimate convenience. Dash isn’t on offer in the UK yet, but it’s a fascinating new way of connecting the web with people. The web is more a thing made of data than a thing made of pages. The pages we click on are just an interface, and when technology comes along that offers a better interface, we should grab it.

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GADGETS FOR THE GARDEN If you want to get the children away from their consoles, and from under your feet during the school holiday, these games and gadgets are fine-tuned for fresh air fun

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DAYS OUT

FAMILY FUN ON THE FARM

Visitors tell us there’s “always a great atmosphere and plenty to do

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isit anywhere that parents with young children gather in the Bristol area, be it a park or soft play centre, and it won’t be long before you hear a fellow mum or dad enthusing about Puxton Park. Nestling in the North Somerset countryside between Congresbury and Weston-super-Mare, the farm and its associated Farmstore have been entertaining families for the last seven years and this year, there’s even more on offer. Set within 40 acres of countryside, the site contains an adventure theme park, a farm store and an on-site restaurant. The adventure park caters for children of all ages and sizes. There are farm-themed play areas, rides, slides and construction-themed sand pits for the younger children. For the older ones there are aerial climbing routes, Puxton Fort zip wires, and a boating lake. For the very young, there is an inside soft play barn. I haven’t mentioned animals yet, and of course that is intrinsic to the attraction. There are sections dedicated to all sorts of farm animals. The park boasts its own dairy and visitors are invited to watch the workings of the milking process.

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the crowds with regular flights from owls, falcons and eagles. There are often one-off events during the year, and to mark the seventh anniversary of the park, entry on July 4 will be reduced to £4 per person. During that weekend, giant garden games, bouncy castles, and a Punch and Judy show will be on offer. Puxton Farm Shop offers visitors the chance to take something home. It has a fresh

Easter activities

fruit and veg section, dairy and meat produce from the farm and local wines, ales, cakes and sweets. The eggs are also fresh, collected from two fields away every morning. Customer services assistant Cathy Murphy said: “We have seen a year-on-year increase in visitors here at Puxton and it’s a lovely place to be. “The events we hold are always successful, whether it be

Bonfire Night or birthday parties for little ones. “Visitors tell us there’s always a great atmosphere and plenty to do. We are expanding significantly later this year and are very excited about the developments.” Further details on prices, opening times and special events can be found at www.puxton.co.uk. Tessa-Lynne Davies

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Reviews by Mark Taylor

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EATING IN A few family favourites and comforting classic bakes

raditional baking has never been more popular, thanks mostly to the success of TV shows such as The Great British Bake Off. Victoria Glass is a cake maker who runs a bespoke celebration cake business called Victoria’s Cake Boutique. Her company has made cakes for The Royal British Legion and The Prince’s Trust, among others, and she also wrote the book Boutique Wedding Cakes. Her new book, Deliciously Vintage, is a celebration of classic family recipes handed down through the generations. It’s not hard to see why some cakes and bakes become classics. You only have to sink your fork into a moist lemon drizzle cake, or enjoy the smell of freshly baked cinnamon buns to understand why there are some sweet treats we simply can’t resist returning to again and again. Deliciously Vintage is a celebration of those recipes, drawing from a broad culinary heritage. From cookies and cakes to pastries and desserts, Glass charts the delicious range of some of our much-loved classics. Comforting and economical, these 60 recipes are guaranteed to hit all the right notes of delicious nostalgia.

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ADVERTORIAL

The City Café at the Hilton Garden Inn is the place to be this Summer Located in the centre of Bristol’s shopping and business district, the Temple Meads Enterprise Zone, and a short walk from the famous Harbourside, the City Café Restaurant, Bar and Terrace at the Hilton Garden Inn Bristol City Centre has something for all. Nestled to the rear of the hotel and overlooking the picturesque Temple Gardens, City Café lets you leave the hustle and bustle of the city behind, if only for a short while, allowing you to enjoy a delicious lunch or dinner in the Restaurant, or after work drinks and a barbeque on the newly refurbished terrace featuring outdoor heating and music throughout. Having been open since 2002, City Café has seen a number of changes over the years, though the quality and consistency of the food has always been a key feature. In the very capable hands of recently appointed Head Chef Daniel Kasieczka, this remains the case. Daniel joins City Café from his Two AA Rosette background having worked in the area for a number of years and is already proving popular with the regulars. Daniel continues to work with the principles of fresh, quality seasonal food at a cost that offers value for money. With this in mind he has created an array of menus allowing him to cater for a wide variety of dining requirements. These include seasonal À La Carte and Bar menus as well as a Pantry offering, which focuses exclusively on food-

to-go. Something of a new venture for Hilton Worldwide in the United Kingdom, the Pantry service has proven extremely popular in the United States where the idea originated. Under the guidance of Deputy Hotel Manager Mario Laaf, City Café have also been reviewing the beverage offering in the bar. This has seen many of the key features from the past re-launched including discounted offers and fixed price lunch menus. The hotel has also launched a loyalty card allowing customers living in the area, or who use the hotel regularly, to save against the current prices as a thank you for their loyalty and to find out about promotions first. Having invested significantly in recent months on both the internal and external look and feel of the area, Mario is confident City Café is the place to be this summer.

Temple Way Bristol BS1 6BF 0117 925 1001

TRAVEL

SCALING THE HEIGHTS World travel David Clensy fulfils a lifelong ambition to see the towering spire of Munich’s Frauenkirche, and gets swept up in the city’s spring celebration of beer

t was all a bit of a blur. But snapshots of the previous night’s escapades occasionally flashed before my hangdog eyes as I sat very still on the coach, trying to feel human again. The landscape outside the coach window was changing rapidly, of that much I was aware. The sophisticated urban sprawl of Munich disappeared first into an affluent suburbia, and a few cat naps later had evolved into an alpine scene. Heidi houses clustered in little herds, like cows with bells around their necks, dotting the featureless plain that stretched for a few miles before hitting – with no real warning – the great icy wall of the Alps. There was no hinterland. No foothills to rumour the great colossus. The range simply started. There ahead, all you could see, as

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wide as all the world, great, high, and unbelievably white in the sun. It was still only 7am on a Sunday morning, and I barely knew my own name. But instinctively I felt that if anything was going to clear my head, it would be the air in those mountains. I wanted to close my eyes, but when I did the flashbacks returned. Sitting on benches, shoulder to shoulder, swinging great steins of beer in time with the umpah-pah band, surrounded by carousing men in lederhosen and guffawing women dressed in the traditional busty dirndl. The faces swirled together and seemed to lean in towards me. I opened my eyes, and sat up with a start. The mountains had come a little closer. This was my first time in Germany. It was somewhere I’d always wanted to visit. Ever

since I was a 13-year-old school boy, being handed a textbook called Einfach Toll! (which translates to “Simply great!”) in my German class. I’d struggled to get my head around the der/die/das, and had passed many hours of German classes staring at the front cover of that textbook, with its picture of the Frauenkirche – the enormous church that rises up out of the medieval streets of Munich. Now it’s easier than ever before to get there, as last year BMI Regional launched regular flights to Munich direct from Bristol Airport. It had been a short and extremely comfortable hop across Europe in a tiny (49-seat capacity) Embraer jet. Munich Airport didn’t seem much bigger than Bristol Airport, so we were through

baggage collection and out the other side within minutes, and straight on to the u-bahn train link into the city centre. From the city’s main station, the Hauptbahnhof, we had just one block to walk before we found ourselves standing in the welcoming lobby of the four-star Maritim hotel, which was to host us for the weekend. After a delightful meal in the sophisticated surroundings of a boutique restaurant in the crypt of the Bayerisches National Museum, it was a short tram ride back to the hotel. The next morning I was awake at 5am, feeling strangely healthy, and by 6am I was swimming lengths of the hotel’s top-floor pool, with panoramic views across Munich. With the pool to myself, I breast-stroked my way into the life of the city, as the sun rose over the twin towers of the Frauenkirche and the gothic spire of the city hall. The day passed with walking tours of the city, delving into its history, catching snippets of its story – and the past is all around you in this place. Take for example the golden cobbles in an unremarkable back street, which quietly remember those dissenters who sneaked through the alleyway to avoid giving the compulsory Nazi salute to a memorial to the fallen of Hitler’s early movement, which once stood grandly on the central square. Or the outline of the early socialist leader

Kurt Eisnerm, who was assassinated here in 1919; the marking of his body shape still recalls exactly where he fell. Stunning churches and elaborate museums and galleries are not in short supply in this city, but after a day spent largely in the past, it was time to delve into the present. Everyone has heard of the Oktoberfest, but each spring the beer-loving Munich folk enjoy the annual Starkbier Festival, or “strong beer” festival. “It began life with the monks who founded the city – the word Munchen means monks,” explains Linda Baumgarten, from the city’s tourist board, as we make our way to the festival at the uproarious cathedral to Bavarian beer, the Lagerkeller Augustinerbräu. “During Lent, the monks were heavily restricted with how much bread they were allowed to eat each day. However, they were not restricted in how much beer they could drink. Beer has much the same ingredients as bread, so, to the monks, the beer became the bread during Lent. If you drink enough beer, it will take your hunger away,” she laughs. Inside, there’s no shortage of either food or beer. We spiral down a seemingly endless brick staircase, like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. After a few two-litre steins of the nine per cent brew, I certainly start to feel as if I’ve passed through the looking glass.

Even now, there are still only flashes from that night. Dancing with strangers on tables. Dancing with strangers on chairs. Dancing with strangers on bars. But much of the evening will forever remain a mystery. The following morning’s stunning cable car ride up from the picturesque town of Garmisch-Partenkirchen, and the views from the Zugspitze mountain, were enough to take my mind off the previous evening’s mysteries. At 2,962m (9,718ft) above sea level, it’s the highest peak of the Wetterstein Mountains, as well as the highest mountain in Germany. And from here it seemed like the whole of Germany was laid out beneath my feet.

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ince she won the Glastonbury Emerging Talent competition in 2007, Manchesterbased Liz Green has emerged as one of the most talked about singer-songwriters around. Her 2011 debut album O, Devotion! won her huge acclaim from critics, including album of the week in the Sunday Times, whose reviewer described it as “a sensational debut”. Green’s extraordinary voice and blues-tinged folk songs have gained her a growing following and her new album Haul Away!, released this week on the Play It Again Sam label, is already picking up the glowing reviews. Live performances from Green are rare so it’s a major coup for Bristol’s floating venue the Grain Barge to have secured the singer for one of only two UK shows. The other one is at London’s Ace Hotel the previous night. An album with themes as varied as communication, language, home, escape, the sea, mythology and love lost, Haul Away! still retains the darker elements of her debut.

“Obviously, I like to throw some death in there,” jokes Green. “I don’t want anyone to think I’ve changed too much. “Actually, I think only one person dies on the album, the rest is open for debate. I’ve certainly shown them the way out – if they can’t find it, it’s their own fault!” Her second album continues to speak to her unique character (as droll as it is dark) while it also finds her realising that these “lonely little songs need some company”. Luckily they have it in the form of a band of friends to accompany her expressive voice. The album features a melange of styles, with piano compositions surrounded by bass, saxophone, drums, tuba, trombone, cello and flute. For Haul Away!, Green returned to the legendary Toe Rag studios to work with O, Devotion! producer Liam Watson. Although they found themselves in the same space as they were three years ago, they used it differently. As far as possible, everything was done live, with all of them in the same room, Green believing

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that’s how to use Hackney’s Toe Rag studios – where previous clients have included The White Stripes, The Cribs and Metronomy. “I like working with the recording devices that are in there. They are tangible and have presence, everything has a history. It makes the whole thing seem more alive. “Tape machines will always be slightly different. Over time they develop their own idiosyncrasies. Even the mixing is done live to tape so no two mixes will ever be the same. You can’t save and carry on a bit later. Everything has life.” Like O, Devotion!, many of the songs on Haul Away! had a long gestation period. “Things creep around my brain for a long time before I can catch them,” says Green. “I am a very slow artist and I don’t write quickly. I am not, and will never be, a prolific artist.” It’s certainly a quality that can be forgiven when the results are so special. One of the marked differences between this record and the last comes from the fact Green started playing the piano – set up next to the bed for

quick-fire midnight dream melodies. Tracks like Little i, named after Little Eye island in West Kirby, Merseyside, were created around a soothing key-driven refrain that signified her first foray into “no-word” music. “I did listen to a lot of music with pianos on,” she adds. “I listened to people like Thelonious Monk and Nina Simone. I can’t play piano like any of them, but I did like listening. Usually I listen to music because of the words, but lately I’ve been listening because of the music.” Among other musicians gracing her ears lately she notes Baby Dee, David Bowie and Bill Ryder-Jones’s If… album as influences, but stresses that it’s mainly friends’ bands like indie folk act the Moulettes that inspire her. “You learn the most from the people you tour with and the people who are closest to you. “I often feel like the fraudster of the bunch. I work more off gut instinct and emotion than any kind of serviceable talent,” she adds, with more than a hint of modesty.

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he Bristol Bad Film Club is teaming up with What The Frock! Comedy to stage a special screening of cult superhero classic Supergirl, complete with standup comedy from Amy Howerska. Supergirl, which was made in 1984 as a spin-off from the popular Christopher Reeve Superman films, is unique in that it was one of the first (and one of the few) superhero films headlined by a woman. The uninitiated may think the film was a positive step for strong female role models in movies, but unfortunately the final result was one of the most bizarre, cheap-looking and nonsensical superhero films ever made.

“It has Peter O’Toole wearing some glorious Kryptonian knitwear,” said Bristol Bad Film Club’s co-founder Ti Singh. “However, it’s one of those films that makes no sense whatsoever. It’s not even explained where she gets her costume from. She just appears in it.” Like her super-powered cousin, Supergirl (Helen Slater) has super strength and X-ray vision, but has come to Earth in search of the Omegahedron, a spinning Christmas decoration that powers her home, Argo City. Unfortunately, it falls into the hands of Faye Dunaway’s aspiring witch, who aims to use the alien device for nothing less than world domination. But first, both hero and villain

40 Weekend From Friday, April 18, 2014

must vie for the attentions of bland love interest Hart Bochner (also known as coked-up yuppie Ellis from Die Hard). Despite throwing money at some of the biggest stars at the time (Dolly Parton was offered $7 million to star as the villain, Dudley Moore $4 million to be her lackey), no one wanted to take part. Not even Superman was interested in appearing in the film, with Christopher Reeve refusing to do a cameo, except in poster form. However, the producers were able to land the likes of Peter O’Toole and Peter Cook, who were clearly hard-up for cash at the time. Despite its critics, the Bristol Bad Film Club and What The Frock! view Supergirl as a film full of nostalgia, outrageous

product placement and gloriously campy dialogue. Jane Duffus, the founder of What The Frock!, said: “Teaming up with the Bristol Bad Film Club for this fundraising screening was a no-brainer for What The Frock! “We love women and girls – super or not – and how super is Supergirl? “We also love supporting local women’s charities, and work with Bristol’s One25 as often as possible. This co-hosted film screening is a fun way to raise essential money for One25 and, if audience members want to dress in capes, then so much the better...” All proceeds will be going to One25. For more information, visit www.bristolbadfilmclub. co.uk.

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wo is company but three super-villains are a crowd in Marc Webb’s action-packed sequel to his 2012 blockbuster, which successfully rebooted the Marvel Comics franchise. A Russian mobster in rhinoceros-shaped armour, a maligned Oscorp employee who can shoot electricity from his fingertips and an iconic green-skinned imp with daddy issues all vie for our attention during a rough ‘n’ tumble 142 minutes. The film’s special effects wizards oblige with dazzling sequences of Spider-Man swinging at breathless speed through the skyscrapers of New York. Such is the dizzying velocity of these set pieces, director Webb repeatedly employs slow-motion to make sense of

the blurs of blue and red spandex. For all the sequel’s technical prowess, which is considerable, it’s the screen chemistry of Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, who met on the first picture and have been dating ever since, which provides more bang than the digitally rendered pyrotechnics. When the two actors stare into each other’s eyes, we can feel the electricity crackle between them. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 opens with a protracted flashback to the night Richard Parker (Campbell Scott) and his wife Mary (Embeth Davidtz) leave their young son in the care of Aunt May (Sally Field) and Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen). The reason for this sudden disappearance continues to haunt Peter (Garfield). So too does the ghost of Captain Stacy (Denis Leary), whose daughter

Gwen (Stone) is Peter’s on-off-on-off girlfriend. While Peter hones his powers, childhood friend Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan) returns to the Big Apple to assume control of Oscorp in the wake of the death of his bullying father, Norman (Chris Cooper). Harry’s ascension coincides with an industrial accident that transforms nerdy employee and Spider-Man fanatic, Max Dillon (Jamie Foxx), into an electrically charged monster. Thus Peter must potentially give up his life to protect Gwen and Aunt May from harm. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 fleshes out the back story of the Parkers and their involvement in secret experiments. Peter and Gwen’s romance is the cornerstone and the film soars – rather like the hero – whenever they are together. Foxx’s portrayal of the pathetic bad guy with

unimaginable power coursing through his veins is more miss than hit. The script doesn’t spend enough time with him before his metamorphosis into Electro. Consequently, gear changes between action, romance and comedy are not as smooth as they could be. Thankfully, DeHaan is terrifically tormented as the heir to the Oscorp empire, who clings forlornly to the hope of a transfusion of Spider-Man’s blood to cure his genetic woes.

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From Friday, April 18, 2014

Weekend 41

NOW SHOWING ARNOLFINI

16 Narrow Quay, Bristol. Tel 0117 917 2300. NO FILMS THIS WEEK CINEMA DE LUX

Lower Castle Street, Bristol.Tel: 0871 220 1000 LOVE PUNCH (12A) Daily 10.00, 12.30, 3.00, 5.15, Fri-Tues 7.45, Tues 10.15pm, Wed/Thurs 7.40pm THE QUIET ONES (15) Fri/Sat 9.45pm, Fri/Sat 12.25am, Sun/Mon/Wed/Thurs 10.15pm, Tues 9.40pm RIO 2 (U) Fri-Mon 11.00, 1.20, Tues 10.30, 1.00, 4.30, Wed/Thurs 11.00, 1.30 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (15) Fri-Mon 4.15, 7.15, Sun/Mon 9.45pm, Tues 11.00, 1.30, 4.15, 7.10, Wed/Thurs 4.15, 7.00 THE RAID 2: BERANDAL (18) Fri/Sat 10.00pm, Sun/Mon 3.35, 6.55, 10.05pm, Tues 6.45, 10.05, Wed/Thurs 10.05pm THE OTHER WOMAN (12A) Wed/Thurs 10.45, 11.15, 1.30, 2.15, 4.30, 5.00, 7.15, 7.45, 10.00pm, 10.30pm THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) Daily 10.00, 10.15, 1.00, 1.30, 4.15, 4.45, 7.30, 8.00, Fri/Sat 10.45pm MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Fri-Mon 10.25, 1.00, Tues 10.15, 12.50, Wed/Thurs 10.20, 12.55 LOCKE (15) Fri-Mon 10.35, 12.45, 3.00, 5.15, Fri/Sat 7.45, 10.10pm, Fri/Sat 12.30am, Sun-Tues 7.45, 10.10, Tues 10.35, 12.45, 3.15, 5.30, Wed/Thurs 3.30, 5.30, 7.45, 10.10 RIO 2 3D (U) Fri-Mon 10.00, 12.20, 2.40, 5.00, Tues-Thurs 11.30, 2.00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER 3D (12A) Daily 7.45, Fri/Sat 10.45, Tues/Wed/Thurs 4.45, DIVERGENT (12A) Daily 10.00, 1.05, 4.05, 7.05, 10.10pm NOAH (12A) Daily 10.15, 1.15, 4.15, 7.15, 10.20pm CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Fri-Tues 10.15, 1.15, 4.15, 7.15, 10.15

LEGO MOVIE 3D (U) Daily 10.00am THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 3D (12A) Daily 11.30, 12.30, 2.45, 3.45, 6.00, 7.00, 9.05 10.05, Fri/Sat 12.10 GODS NOT DEAD (PG) Fri/Sat/Tues 3.30, 6.30, 9.00 TRANCENDENCE (12A) Fri-Mon 10.45, 1.45, 4.30, 7.15, 9.55, Fri/Sat 12.35am CINEWORLD

Hengrove, Bristol. Tel 0871 200 2000. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (TAKE 2) (18) Thurs 12.30, 4.15, 8.15 TRANSCENDENCE (12A) Fri-Mon 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 THE OTHER WOMAN (12A) Wed 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50, Thurs 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.15 THE LOVE PUNCH (12A) Fri-Wed 11.50, 2.10, 5.30, 8.00, Thurs 2.10, 5.30, 8.00 THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) Daily (11.00am, 11.40 Fri-Mon), 12.20, 2.10, 2.50, 3.30, 4.20, 5.20, 6.00, 6.40, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 THE QUIET ONES (15) Fri-Thurs 9.45, Tues 5.30 THE RAID 2 (18) Sun-Mon 8.30, Tues 8.00 KHUMBA (U) Tues 12.40, 2.50 NOAH (12A) Fri/Sat 1.40, 4.30, 7.30, 8.30, Sun/Mon 1.40, 4.30, 7.30, Tues-Thurs 1.40, 4.50, 8.00, 8.30 DIVERGENT (12A) Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon 11.00, 2.10, 5.20, 8.30, Tues-Thurs 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 RIO 2 (U) Fri-Mon 10.30, 11.20, 1.00, 1.50, 3.30, 6.00 Tues-Thurs 1.00, 1.50, 3.30, 6.00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Fri-Wed 2.20, 5.40, 8.50, Thurs 12.50, 8.50 MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Fri-Mon 11.40, 2.20, 5.00, Tues/Wed 2.20, 5.00, Thurs 4.00 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (15) Fri-Wed 8.00 THE LEGO MOVIE (U) Fri-Mon 10.30 BOLLYWOOD: 2 STATES (12A) Fri-Thurs 1.10, 4.30, 7.50

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JUNIORS: FREE BIRDS (U) Fri-Mon 10.00 MR PEABODY AND SHERMAN (U) Fri-Mon 10.00, 10.10 FROZEN (U) Sat/Sun 10.20 SENIORS: NON STOP Thurs 11.00am inc. free tea/coffee THE CUBE

Dove St South, Kingsdown. Tel 0117 907 4190. WRONG (CROWS) + PALLE ALONE IN THE WORLD Sun 2.00 OHIKKOSHI (MOVING) Mon 3.00 UNDER THE SKIN Mon-Wed 8.30 BABYCINEMA: UNDER THE SKIN Wed 11.00am 20TH CENTURY FLICKS: TOGETHER Thurs 8.00 CURZON

Old Church Road, Clevedon. Tel 01275 871000. THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2 (12A) Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon 1.00, 4.15, 7.30, Tues 2.00, 7.45, Wed 7.45, Thurs 2.00 SENIORS: 12 YEARS A SLAVE (15) Wed 2.00 ODEON

Union St, Bristol. Tel 0117 929 0884. THE OTHER WOMAN (12A) Wed-Thurs 6.20, 8.40 THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) Fri-Mon 10.45, 5.10, Tues-Thurs 5.10 THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) 3D Daily 2.00, 8.15 CAPTAIN AMERICA THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Fri-Tues 5.00 THE LOVE PUNCH (12A) Daily 6.10, 8.20 MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Fri-Mon 1.00 NOAH (12A) Fri-Tues 8.00, Wed-Thurs 3.30 RIO 2 (U) Fri-Mon 11.10, 3.50, Tues-Thurs 3.50 RIO 2 3D (U) Fri-Mon 1.30 MR PEABODY AND SHERMAN (U) Fri-Mon 11.00am GRUDGE MATCH (12A) Thurs 11.00am

ORPHEUS

Northumbria Drive, Henleaze, Bristol. Tel 0845 166 2381 THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2: 2D & 3D (12A) Fri-Wed 1.25:3D, 4.50:2D, 7.50:3D, Thurs 4.50:2D, 7.50:3D DIVERGENT (12A) Fri/Sat 1.40, Sun-Wed 1.40, 8.15, Thurs 8.15pm NOAH (12A) Fri, Sat, Tues & Thurs 4.40, 8.10, Sun/Mon 4.40, Wed 2.00, 4.40, 8.10 THE QUIET ONES (15) Daily 6.00 RIO 2 (U) Fri-Tues 11.25, 3.35 MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Fri-Tues 1.00 TRANSCENDENCE ADVANCE SCREENINGS (12A) Fri-Mon 8.20 SHOWCASE

Avonmeads, St Philip’s Causeway, Bristol. Tel 0871 220 1000. THE QUIET ONES (15) Daily 11.20, 1.45, 4.15, 7.10, 9.30 RIO 2 (U) Daily 11.45, 2.15, 4.50, 7.15, 9.45 RIO 2 3D (U) Daily 11.05, 1.30, 4.00 CAPAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER 3D (12A) Daily 6.30, 9.30 MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Daily 11.10, 2.00, 5.00, 7.35, 10.10 THE OTHER WOMAN (12A) Daily 10.40, 1.35, 4.35, 7.30, 10.10 KHUMBA (U) Daily 10.50am, 1.00 DIVERGENT (PG) Daily 10.00, 1.05, 3.30, 4.05, 6.30, 7.05, 9.30, 10.05 SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) Daily 10.15am, 1.30, 4.45, 8.00 LEGO MOVIE (U) Daily 10.00, 12.20, 2.45, 5.20 NON STOP (12A) Daily 7.45, 10.20pm NOAH (12A) Daily 10.30, 12.30, 1.40, 3.45, 4.45, 7.00, 8.00, 10.00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Daily 10.15, 1.15, 4.15, 7.15, 10.15 THE LOVE PUNCH (12A) Daily 12.00, 2.20, 4.50, 7.25, 9.45 SPIDERMAN 2 3D (12A)

Daily 12.30, 3.45, 7.00, 10.05 VUE

Cribbs Causeway, Bristol. Tel 0871 224 0240. TRANSCENDENCE (12A) Fri-Mon 12.00, 2.45, 5.30, 8.20 THE OTHER WOMAN (12A) Wed/Thurs 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 6.40, 8.20 BERLIN PHILHARMONIC EASTER FESTIVAL (E) Sun 5.00 VIKINGS LIVE FROM THE BRITISH MUSEUM (12A) Thurs 7.00 THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) Daily 1.00, 1.45 (Extreme), 4.15, 7.00 (Extreme, Tues-Thurs 5.05), 7.30, 8.15 (Extreme), Fri-Mon 10.20am (Extreme), Tues 10.35am (Extreme), Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed lates 10.45pm THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 3D (12A) Fri-Wed 11.00 (not Wed), 2.15, 3.15 not Wed, (Tues 3.20), 5.30, 6.30, 8.45, 9.45, Thurs 12.00, 2.20, 3.15, 5.30, 8.45, 9.30, Fri/Sat/Wed lates 11.20pm (Extreme) THE LOVE PUNCH (12A) Daily (except Tues) 12.25, 2.50, 5.20, 7.45, Tues 12.45, 3.05, 5.25, 7.45 LOCKE (15) Daily 5.10, 7.20, Tues-Thurs 12.50, 3.00, Fri-Mon 12.10, Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed lates 10.10pm, Sun/Mon lates 10.00pm THE QUIET ONES (15) Daily 9.30pm THE LAST DAYS ON MARS (15) Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed 11.15pm THE RAID 2 (18) Fri-Tues 8.30, Wed/Thurs 9.15pm KHUMBA (U) Fri-Mon 10.00am, Tues 10.40am RIO 2 (U) Fri/Sat/Mon 10.10, 12.10, 1.10, 2.40, 3.40, 6.10, Sun 10.00, 12.25, 2.20, 2.50, 7.30, Tues 10.30, 1.20, 3.45, 6.10, Wed/Thurs 1.10, 3.40, 6.10 RIO 2 3D (U) Fri/Sat/Mon 12.45, Sun/Tues 12.55, Thurs 12.00 DIVERGENT (12A) Daily 1.30 (Tues 1.35), 4.40, 7.50, Fri-Mon 10.20am, Tues 10.30am NOAH (12A) Daily 1.40, 4.50, 8.00, Tues 10.30am CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Daily 1.20 (Tues 1.25), 4.30, 7.40, Fri-Mon 10.10am, Tues 10.20am, Fri/Sat/Sun/Wedlates 10.50pm

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pening with a barman preparing a martini – shaken not stirred – The Love Punch is a ham-fisted caper that nods affectionately to leading man Pierce Brosnan’s years of service as James Bond. Indeed, the film’s centre-piece jewel theft would have been effortlessly executed by 007 in mere minutes. However, writer-director Joel Hopkins’s third feature isn’t concerned with the finer points of pilfering a £10 million diamond from a heavily guarded mansion on the Cote d’Azur. His script is intentionally divorced from reality. Somehow, the first-time criminals manage to throw grappling hooks up hundreds of feet in order to scale a mountainside in ill-fitting wet suits, then smuggle the gem in a hiding

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER 3D (12A) Daily (except Sun) 8.40, Sun 10.00pm MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Fri-Mon 10.00, 12.40, 3.20, Tues 10.20, 12.55, 3.30, Wed 1.00, 3.45, Thurs 1.20, 4.00 STARRED UP (18) Fri/Sat/Sun 11.15pm, Wed 11.00pm THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (15) Fri-Tues 6.00, (Tues 6.05), Tues 12.45, 3.15, 8.20 NON-STOP (12A) Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed lates 11.00pm, Tues 5.50 THE LEGO MOVIE (U) Fri-Mon 10.00am, Tues 10.20am TINKERBELL AND THE PIRATE FAIRY (U) Fri-Mon 10.00am, Tues 10.40am FROZEN (PG) Fri-Mon 10.50am KIDS: ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH (U) Fri-Tues 10.30am KIDS: ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH 3D (U) Fri-Tues 11.00am KIDS: FROZEN (PG) Fri-Mon 10.45am

place that would result in horrific injuries for one of the team. Richard Jones (Brosnan) and his ex-wife Kate (Emma Thompson) are crippled by loneliness as they lead unfulfilling separate lives. He is poised to retire to the golf course with best friend Jerry (Timothy Spall) while she reluctantly agrees to blind dates organised by Jerry’s well-meaning wife, Penelope (Celia Imrie). Shortly after the couple’s daughter Sophie (Tuppence Middleton) flies the nest for university, Machiavellian French businessman Vincent Kruger (Laurent Lafitte) plunders the pension fund of Richard’s company, leaving the Joneses on the brink of financial ruin. A trip to Paris to confront Kruger ends

VUE

Longwell Green, Bristol. Tel: 0871 224 0240. SUPER DUPER ALICE COOPER (15) Tues 7.30 VIKINGS LIVE FROM BRITISH MUSEUM (12A) Thurs 7.00 THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (12A) Daily 11.20, 1.00, 2.30, 4.20, 5.50, 7.30, 9.00, Fri/Sat/Sun, Wed lates 10.40pm THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 3D (12A) Daily 1.45, 3.15, 5.10, 6.20, 8.15, 9.30 LOVE PUNCH (12A) Fri-Mon 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40, Tues-Thurs 11.30, 1.50, 4.25, 6.50, 9.10 LOCKE (15) Tues-Thurs 11.50, 4.55, 7.10, 9.20, Mon 10.30, 5.40, 7.45, 9.50, Fri-Sun 12.40, 5.20, 7.30, 9.40 TRANSCENDENCE (12A) Fri-Mon 12.00, 2.50, 5.40, 8.30 THE OTHER WOMAN (12A) Wed/Thurs 1.20, 4.00, 6.30, 8.00, 9.00 JACK RYAN (12A) Tues 6.30

RIO 2 3D (U) Fri-Mon 10.00, 12.30, Tues-Thurs 12.45 QUIET ONES (15) Fri-Mon 7.00, 9.40, Tues-Thurs 7.30 KHUMBA (U) Fri-Mon 10.50 DIVERGENT (12A) Daily 2.10, 5.20, 8.40 RIO 2 (U) Tues-Thurs 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, Fri-Mon 10.30, 11.15, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Daily 1.30, 4.40, 7.50, Fri-Mon 10.20, Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed 10.45 MUPPETS MOST WANTED (U) Daily (except Thurs) 11.40, 2.20, 5.00, Thurs 1.00, 3.40 STARRED UP (18) Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed lates 10.50pm THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (15) Fri-Mon 8.30, Tues-Thurs 12.10, 2.40, 5.10, Tues 8.00, Thurs 9.20 NEED FOR SPEED (12A) Fri/Sat/Sun lates 10.50pm, Wed 10.30pm NON STOP (12A) Fri/Sat/Sun lates 11.00pm, Tues 1.25, 4.00, 9.00, Wed lates

badly so Kate suggests they steal the hulking diamond necklace, which Kruger’s unsuspecting fiancee (Louise Bourgoin) is set to wear on their wedding day. Blessed with a wonderful running joke about Jerry’s unlikely secret military past, The Love Punch is simplistic, lightweight fluff.

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11.15pm THE LEGO MOVIE (U) Mon 11.30, 3.25, Tues-Thurs 11.30, 2.20, Fri-Sun 10.10, 11.30, 2.50 TINKERBELL AND THE PIRATE FAIRY (U) Fri-Mon 10.00am SENIORS: JACK RYAN (12A) Mon 1.00 KIDS: ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH (U) Daily 10.30am KIDS: ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH 3D (U) Daily 11.00am WATERSHED

Canon’s Rd, Bristol. Tel 0117 927 5100. WE ARE THE BEST (15) Fri-Thurs 3.20, 6.00, 8.40 (Weds 6.20) THE DOUBLE (15) Fri-Wed 8.30, Thurs 9.00 THE LUNCHBOX (PG) Fri-Mon 3.00, 6.10, Tues/Thurs 3.00, Weds 11.00am, 6.10 CALVARY (15) Fri-Mon 2.40, 5.30, 8.10, Tues 5.30, 8.10, Weds 2.40, 5.30, 8.10, Thurs 2.40, 8.10 CINEKIDS: THE KING AND

THE MOCKINGBIRD (U) Sat 1.00 CINEMA OF CHILDHOOD BRUNCHES: MOONRISE KINGDOM (12A) Sun 12.00 CINEMA OF CHILDHOOD: BAG OF RICE (U) Tue 6.10 CINEMA OF CHILDHOOD: THE BOOT AND TEN MINUTES OLDER (U) Thurs 6.10 PREVIEW: HALF OF A YELLOW SUN AND DIRECTOR Q & A (15) Thurs 5.50 WOTTON ELECTRIC PICTURE HOUSE

18a Market Street, Wotton Under Edge. Tel 01453 844401. MR PEABODY & SHERMAN (U) Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon 2.00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER 3D (12A) Fri/Sat/Sun/Tues 7.30, Sun 4.30, Mon 8.15, Wed 8.30, Thurs 2.00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (12A) Sat 4.30

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ormer Bristol University student and reigning master of psychological illusion, Derren Brown, returns to the city where he first began to pursue his electrifying career in magic. The man of mystery will perform his new show, Derren Brown: Infamous at The Bristol Hippodrome next week. The show, which has garnered rave reviews, promises to thrill, entertain and leave spellbound audiences with their jaws on the floor. Derren says: “It was clear quickly via Twitter that the show is being well received, and it’s lovely to have that backed up by the press. Performing the show is a huge delight. It doesn’t matter what sort of day I’ve had, the show picks me up and leaves me buzzing with adrenalin.” Derren has often spoken about his affection for Bristol, which is clearly reciprocated with Bristolians snapping up tickets for his sell-out shows. And while he traces his interest in magic and psychological techniques back to childhood, he recalls that it was only later, while studying law and German at Bristol University, that he

started to take it seriously. After graduating, Derren abandoned a career in law and concentrated on developing his skills at psychological magic. He was able to pay the bills by combining performing in cafés and bars with a sideline in portraiture. The Croydon-born entertainer caught the eye of television producers and his breakthrough, Derren Brown: Mind Control aired on Channel 4 in 2000 and proved an immediate success. Whether it’s on the small screen or on large-scale theatrical tours, he’s built a global profile, which is only now being challenged by the likes of fellow illusionist Dynamo. Having redefined the genre of magic, Derren has become synonymous with the art of psychological manipulation and his TV shows have become must-see events. His Mind Control, Trick of the Mind and Trick or Treat TV series garnered rave reviews and awards and his extraordinary specials for Channel 4 over the past 12 years, which include Russian Roulette, The Heist and The Great Art Robbery, have provoked much debate and consolidated his reputation as a performer prepared to constantly challenge

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and break down boundaries. In his varied and notorious career he has played Russian roulette live, convinced middle-managers to commit an armed robbery in the street, stuck viewers to their sofas, successfully predicted the National Lottery, hypnotised a man to assassinate Stephen Fry and trained four OAPs to steal a valuable painting. He is also banned from every casino in the country. Derren’s live shows are not only thrilling and enthralling, they are also a great way to see the master at work and dispel any suspicion that his TV feats are aided by trick photography, stooges or clever editing. Two of his previous live touring shows, Something Wicked This Way Comes (2006) and Svengali (2012) lead to prestigious Olivier awards. Now, Derren has pulled out all the stops to make Infamous his most mind-blowing show to date. Combining his humour and wit with truly incredible skills, he ensures an evening that is both hugely entertaining and mind-bogglingly confusing. Stunts move from theatrical and dramatic to mathematical and logical. Of course, there’s

plenty of awe-inspiring, captivating magic, but the show goes beyond the realm of pure entertainment and ventures into an insight of a genius’s brain. Derren, who has always insisted he has no psychic abilities and relies entirely on the powers of perception, also uses the show as a chance to vent his frustrations at charlatans in the mystical world. Derren clearly enjoys performing the hit show to live audiences just as much as people enjoy watching it. He says: “I think it’s important in life to do what’s fun, rather than what you feel you ought to be doing, and for me now at 42, that means I have less interest in trying to impress people in real life, or on TV with magic tricks, but a greater delight in trying to create these theatre shows. “It might be that there’s a different unspoken contract with an audience that know they’ve come to see a show, or perhaps more selfishly it’s the adrenalin of doing it every night. Or more likely it’s a bit of both. Either way, secular magic – and its related arts – can provide a very special experience and I’m enjoying finding ways that suit me as a grown-up in trying to provide that.”

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Modern sculpture on display in the garden again

eramic pomegranate seeds, a rust-o-saurus, soaring swans and a host of botanical art ranging from Indonesian floral batik to watercolour hellebores: these are just a few of the visual and tactile treats awaiting visitors to the University of Bristol Botanic Garden this Easter weekend. As it does every year, the Botanic Garden is using the long Easter weekend to host an exhibition of 2D and 3D work by local artists, all sited around the gardens in a beguiling al fresco art trail. This year’s show features work by 30 or more local artists, both amateur and professional. “This annual event allows visitors to see the garden and its unique plant collections in a different light: as a context for displaying art and sculpture inspired by the natural world,” explains curator Nick Wray. “With its constantly changing natural light and backdrop of architectural plants, colours and textures, the Botanic Garden makes a perfect environment for displaying both traditional and modern art and sculpture.” This is the third year in which a sculpture event has been held at the Botanic Garden – and the first time that it has been combined with the art exhibition, now in its sixth year. This year’s line-up of sculptors and artists has been selected to provide a wide range of media and artistic styles. Several sculptors are exhibiting at the garden for the first time, including Somerset-based steel and glass sculptor Ian Marlow ARBS. Ian’s works on view will include Sir Gromit of Bristol, a medieval knight in full armour, as well as stainless steel lilies on water, whose glass flowers echo the sunlight, and a powerful recreation of the power and energy of a breaking wave (pictured).

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Elsewhere, Bristol sculptor Jitka Palmer describes her work in stone as “figurative, expressive and often narrative… drawing on the presence of an ancient past within the stone,” while Sam Bailey is an artist blacksmith, who creates a range of imaginative metalwork pieces including magnificent floral gates and railings, animals – and even a tea-stirring automaton table. Ceramic designer Karen Edwards, meanwhile, presents her depiction of the Greek myth of Persephone eating pomegranate seeds. There will also be plenty for families to enjoy. Children are invited to take part in some

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Explorations in the Undergrowth, organised by locals Refab Arts. On Easter Saturday and Sunday, kids can create their very own plant structure to take away, made from colourful reclaimed bouncy castle fabrics. “Working in 3-D with this versatile plastic fabric-based material lets the imagination run riot,” comments Refab’s creative director Emma Myers. Nick reflects that: The desire to identify and systematically classify the natural world was prompted by the discovery of so many species new to science in the 17th and 18th centuries. And it is amazing, in a world of digital photography, where

cameras can produce such instant and inspiring results, that botanical art continues to flourish today. “One great strength of botanical art, even today, is that the artist can manipulate the image to add information. While they can depict flowers in bloom, the same picture can also show it in bud and gone to seed. Throughout history, nature in all its variety and complexity has inspired many artists.”

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COMEDY Don’t miss Jongleurs Comedy Club

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Poetic rapper tours his new mixtape

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Discover more than their one-hit wonder Frank Skinner

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BOOKS

The Quick

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n 1933, 18-year-old Patrick Leigh Fermor set out to chance and charm his way across Europe, “like a tramp, a pilgrim or a wandering scholar”. One of the books he later wrote about this walk, A Time of Gifts, was later read by a modern-day 18-year-old, Nick Hunt (inset), who grew up in Bristol and then dreamed of following in Fermor’s footsteps. So, in 2011, Nick began his own great trudge – on foot all the way to Istanbul, through eight countries, following two major rivers and crossing three mountain ranges. Using Fermor’s books as his only travel guide, he trekked some 2,500 miles. His aim? To have an old-fashioned adventure; to slow down and linger in a world where we pass by so much, so fast. To discover for himself what remained of hospitality, kindness to strangers, freedom, wildness, adventure, the

mysterious, the unknown, the deeper currents of myth and story that still flow beneath Europe’s surface. In reality he nearly froze to death twice, he went lame on day four, he encountered rutting deer, packs of feral dogs, and had a lucky escape from a bad-tempered wild boar. He also met some intriguing companions – a German hankering for the days of the pre-Roman Germanic tribes; an obsessive rock-collector; Buddhist soap makers and even the great-granddaughter of one of Fermor’s aristocratic hosts. Nick crowd-sourced his funding and arranged accommodation via couch-surfing (when he wasn’t sleeping rough in snowdrifts and abandoned castles). The pleasure of walking is something he discovered through early adventures in the West Country and North Wales. He studied English literature and

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creative writing at UEA, and spent the next few years living in Mexico, the USA and Spain before moving to London. He has written for The Economist, The Guardian Travel, New Internationalist and other publications, and recorded a documentary for BBC Radio 4. He also works as a storyteller, and co-editor of the Dark Mountain journals.

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The Temporary Gentleman

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PROPERTY

INTO THE GROVE Property of the week Hillgrove, Chewton Keynsham

ositioned in the hamlet of Chewton Keynsham and surrounded by fields, Hillgrove is a substantial country home that started life in the early 1800s as two adjoining farm cottages. Following a recent renovation, it is now a single and very beautiful home, with five bedrooms and four bath/shower rooms. The house is seven miles from Bath and Bristol and two miles from Keynsham. A sweeping gravelled driveway ensures there’s no shortage of parking, while the front door, with glazed side panels, opens to a striking hallway, where the solid wood floor is overlooked by a galleried landing. Like the majority of the house, the walls here are painted a soft cream colour. Off the hall is a cloakroom, and towards the rear of the house is a huge drawing room, with windows on two sides in addition to French doors which open to a patio at the side. The centrepiece of this bright room is the fireplace edged with exposed stone and housing a wood-burning stove. Above it is a large wooden beam. Like the drawing room, the dining room is

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also pale-painted and covered with a beige carpet, while elsewhere is a study, with built-in bookshelves. The farmhouse-style kitchen cupboards are pale, with wooden handles, and built-in appliances include a five-ring hob and oven, fridge and dishwasher, with space for an American-style fridge/freezer. At one end is ample space for a family-sized dining table, or to use as a snug. Off the kitchen is a utility room, with cupboards, a sink and space for laundry appliances. Upstairs are three en suite bedrooms, two more bedrooms and a family bath/shower

room. The contemporary white sanitary ware includes over-sized baths with centrally positioned taps and, in the case of the master suite, twin wash basins and a separate walk-in shower cubicle. Three of the bedrooms also have built-in wardrobes. The gardens are mainly grassed, with mature trees and shrubs and the plot also includes a paddock of more than an acre.

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Professional restoration & repair of furniture, seating & interiors

Beautiful Bespoke Pieces...

available from www.swupholstery.co.uk

New fillings supplied & Fitted Any shape and any size pop in to try them out.

We sell fabrics, restored furniture, foam & sundries Free quote and home visit Free collection and delivery of your furniture

visit our new wesbite www.swupholstery.co.uk E info@swupholstery.co.uk T 0117 9663776 swupholstery

@swupholstery

New family friendly shop now open! Visit us:

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EASY LIKE EAMES Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers

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TELEVISION Gothic drama in chilly Cornwall

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t’s a good job Jessica Brown Findlay can laugh at herself. In her latest role, she plays headstrong heroine Mary Yellan, a young woman who finds herself living with a group of smugglers in 1820s Cornwall. The gothic new adaptation of Daphne du Maurier’s Jamaica Inn will be screened over three consecutive nights from Easter Monday. And Brown Findlay,

best-known for her role as the principled Lady Sybil in Downton Abbey – has been relishing the mud-splattered clothes, dirt beneath her fingernails and rather more grubby appearance to that of Lady Sybil. “We had no hair and make-up, everything was incredibly minimal,” explains Brown Findlay. “We wanted to look cold, which often meant a red nose, blotched cheeks and

blue lips. That’s fantastic – it looks how it would have done. It would be ridiculous if everything else was right, but we were clearly wearing make-up and mascara.” Plus, any make-up would have been ruined by some scenes. For 20 minutes of one episode, the action takes place on the beach and in the sea, meaning Brown Findlay was forced to thrust herself into the icy Cornish waters for filming.

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TV PICKS

POP GOES BBC TWO 10.30pm, BBC2

Exploration of music since 1964 through a selection of 50 moments from BBC2, featuring live performances and excerpts from documentaries.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S). 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Formula 1 – Chinese Grand Prix: Qualifying Highlights (S,HD). 2.30 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.15 Film: Shrek Forever After (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●●●

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

POINTLESS CELEBRITIES 7pm, BBC1

Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a medical-themed edition, featuring past and present Casualty and Holby City stars Sunetra Sarker, Paul Bradley, Ian Kelsey and Ian Bleasdale, as well as Duncan Preston and Nichola McAuliffe, from 1990s sitcom Surgical Spirit.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.10 Film: Sword of Sherwood Forest (S,HD) (1960). ●● 7.30 Great British Menu (R,S,HD). 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off Easter Masterclass (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 2.30 Film: Henry VIII and His Six Wives (S) (1972). ●●● 4.30 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 5.45 Easter from King’s (S,HD).

THE GUESS LIST 9.30pm, BBC1

Julian Clary, Melanie C, Larry Lamb, Deborah Meaden and David Haye help contestants answer all sorts of everyday questions in the game show hosted by Rob Brydon.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 10.30 Dinner Date (R,S). 11.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.40 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 12.10 Film: Never Say Never Again (S,HD) (1983). ●●● 2.40 Film: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (S,HD) (2002). Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe. ●●●● 5.35 ITV News West Country (S). 5.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE: CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS 9pm, BBC2

Jeremy Paxman hosts a special edition of the student quiz, as teams representing Magdalen College, Oxford, and Manchester University do battle. Each has won the series crown on four occasions during the show’s history, more than any other institution.

Channel 4

6.10 The Hoobs (R,S). 6.35 Trans World Sport (S). 7.30 FIM Superbike World Championship (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.55 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 11.45 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.45 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 1.40 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Haydock Park and Kempton Park. 4.10 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Access. 10.05 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.40 Beware! Cowboy Builders Abroad (R,S,HD). 11.40 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). 12.40 Film: Murder at the Gallop (S) (1963). ●●● 2.20 Film: Barabbas (S) (1961). Biblical drama, starring Anthony Quinn. ●●● 5.00 Film: Columbo: Ashes to Ashes (S,HD) (1998). Detective drama, starring Peter Falk and Patrick McGoohan. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

after

▼ ▼

7.00 Britain’s Got Talent (S,HD). 2/13. See Choices Above.

7.00 Lent Diaries (S). 15/16. A man talks about the sermons he gives in Europe. 7.05 Grand Designs (R,S,HD). 5/11. A project to build a metal home next to an airfield runway.

7.30 NCIS (R,S). 2/24. Gibbs and his team investigate the bizarre death of a marine.

▼

6.40 Longmire (S,HD). 4/10. Walt investigates a double murder.

8.40 Casualty (S,HD). 34/48. Fletch builds bridges between a father and son.

8.00 University Challenge: The Story So Far (R,S). Documentary charting the history of the student quiz show. With contributions by former contestants including Stephen Fry, and hosts Bamber Gascoigne and Jeremy Paxman.

8.20 Amazing Greys (S,HD). 2/6. Three young contenders take on the Amazing Greys, who include former Wimbledon finalist Christine Truman and Mastermind winner Liz Horrocks. Paddy McGuinness and Angela Rippon host.

8.05 Hostages (S,HD). 15/15. The first lady sees through Ellen’s deception. Last in the series.

8.25 NCIS (R,S). 3/24. A blogger who accused the NCIS of a cover-up is found dead.

▼

Britain’s Favourite … 9.25pm

6.15 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). Corset-maker Serine Daou hosts the final night in Reading, Berkshire. 6.45 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). The concluding session on the opening day of the ranking tournament at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

9.30 The Guess List (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 University Challenge: Champion of Champions (S,HD). See Choices Above. 9.30 Messiah at the Foundling Hospital (S,HD). The performance of Handel’s Messiah at the hospital in 1750.

9.20 Law & Order: UK (R,S,HD). 6/8. A newborn goes missing.

9.00 Taken (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●●

9.20 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 9.25 Britain’s Favourite Detectives (S). A countdown of the nation’s favourite crime solvers as voted for by Channel 5 viewers, including Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot, Lt Columbo, Sherlock Holmes and Morse.

▼

Grand Designs, 7.05pm

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! & Famous (R,S). Celebrity lookalike clips.

7.00 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). 6/10. See Choices Above. 7.50 The National Lottery: In It to Win It (S,HD). 2/10.

10.10 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.30 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League clashes, including Hull City v Arsenal at the KC Stadium and Tottenham Hotspur v Fulham at White Hart Lane. Followed by National Lottery Update.

▼

Amazing Greys, 8.20pm

6.40 Regional News (S,HD).

11.50 The Football League Show (S). Including highlights of Leicester City v Queens Park Rangers.

▼

6 7 8 9

Live Snooker, 7pm

Casualty, 8.40pm

1.10 Weatherview (S). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD).

10.30 Pop Goes BBC Two (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.15 The Americans (S,HD). 6/13. Elizabeth must work with Nicaraguan spy Lucia to gain access to a congressman’s office, while Oleg meets Stan in an isolated warehouse and gives him an ultimatum.

10.50 The Stone Roses: Made of Stone (S,HD) (2013). Premiere. Documentary in which filmmaker Shane Meadows follows the band in rehearsals for their 2012 reunion concerts. Featuring archive material from across the group’s history. ●●●●

11.15 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.30 Through the Keyhole (R,S,HD). 4/6. Catherine Tyldesley and Terry Wogan join Dave Berry on the panel. 12.00 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). Highlights of the opening day from Sheffield. 12.50 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a first-round match. 2.55 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Dinner Date: Australia (R,S). Matchmaking show. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

12.50 Film: Trainspotting (S,HD) (1996). Drama, starring Ewan McGregor. ●●●●● 2.25 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 4.30 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). Two friends try to create a classy threecourse meal with just £20. 5.25 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 5.40 Goodwood 72nd Members’ Meeting (S).

Thinking of Fostering? Could you help children and young people rebuild their lives? Foster carers are urgently required in the South West

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Iwyps 9@4 :89<

12.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.15 Classic Car Rescue (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.35 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

REVOLUTION 9pm, Sky1

The search for a star continues as more auditionees try to win over Simon Cowell, David Walliams, Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon with their talents. Ant and Dec host.

ITV2

11.15 Tom Daley Goes Global (R,S,HD). 12.15 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 1.35 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S). 2.35 Totally Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 3.20 The Vamps: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 3.30 Film: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (S,HD) (2005). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.50 Film: Dungeons and Dragons (S,HD) (2000). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Gene is tired of the bickering between Miles and Monroe, so he heads into Willoughby to recruit more allies. But it soon becomes clear how much the Patriots have blackened his reputation. Meanwhile, as Monroe rebuilds his army, he comes up with a plan to surprise the enemy.

6.50 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 7.40 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 8.35 Charmed (R,S). 9.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 9.00 Game Changers. 10.00 Soccer AM. 12.00 WWE Superstars (HD). 1.00 David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD). 2.30 Duck Quacks Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Echo (R,S,HD). Sue Perkins, Bob Mortimer and Aston Merrygold join in the fun. 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

BRITAINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GOT TALENT 7pm, ITV

TAKEN 9pm, Channel 4

GOLD

6.55 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 7.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.45 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.45 Yes Minister (S). 10.25 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.05 One Foot in the Grave (S). 12.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.40 Jeeves and Wooster (S). 1.55 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp.

Snakes on a Plane, 9pm

Revolution, 9pm

Only Fools â&#x20AC;Ś 7.20pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 16/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 21/24. 6.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 10/24.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 2/10. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/7. Del gets the gambling habit.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7/20. Lily and Marshall look for a new flat. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/22. The family relocates to a farm. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22. With the voice of Frances McDormand.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 5/7. Del decorates the local Chinese restaurant.

8.20 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (S). Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition.

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 15/22. Julian Masters returns, and is angrier than ever before â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but when he gets caught by Ultra, he is forced to strike a dangerous bargain.

8.00 Storm City (S,HD). 1/4. New series. Ben Fogle investigates the devastating impact of extreme weather.

8.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 8/8. The Trotters journey to Holland to dabble in the diamond import business â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with old foe Inspector Slater hot on their trail.

9.20 Totally Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 24/28. A review of the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most comical clips.

9.00 Snakes on a Plane (S,HD) (2006). An FBI agent escorts a witness to the trial of a gangster, whose henchmen release 450 poisonous snakes during their flight. Thriller, with Samuel L Jackson and Jonathan Phillips. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 Revolution (S,HD). 17/20. See Choices Above.

Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got â&#x20AC;Ś 8.20pm

SHREK FOREVER AFTER 5.15pm, BBC1

A former CIA agent puts his old skills to use in rescuing his daughter from European sex traffickers. Thriller, starring Liam Neeson and Maggie Grace.

A magical trickster leaves the grumpy ogre stuck in an alternate world. Animated comedy, with the voice of Mike Myers.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Ringside (HD). 7.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). Leicester City v Queens Park Rangers (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2.30 Saturday Team Talk (HD). 3.00 Soccer Saturday (HD). 5.00 Live Saturday Night Football (HD). Hull City v Arsenal (Kick-off 5.30pm).

Live Football, 5pm

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear Bolivia Special (R,S,HD). The team uses second-hand 4x4s to negotiate the Amazon basin and reach Chile. 8.20 Toy Story 2 (S,HD) (1999). Animated sequel, with the voice of Tom Hanks. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.50 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News Extra (R,S,HD). Extended edition of the comedianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s topical show. 10.35 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.20 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.40 Family Guy (R,S,HD).

12.05 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.30 Film: Youth in Revolt (S,HD) (2009). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.55 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 2.55 In the Flesh (R,S,HD). 3.50 Great Movie Mistakes: Revenge of the Fifth 8.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Game of the Day (R,S).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top Premier League match.

10.00 Bottom (S). 1/6. The 10.00 Speed (1994). A cop 10.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice boys visit a dating tries to save the (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee agency. passengers on a bus that presents extended is wired to explode if it highlights from the 10.40 The Young Ones (S). goes below 50mph. Premier League, 6/6. Mr Balowski Action thriller, starring allowing viewers to becomes a mad axeman. Keanu Reeves, Sandra access the latest round of Bullock, Dennis Hopper top-flight fixtures, and Jeff Daniels. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? including West Ham United v Crystal Palace.

10.00 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 6/10. With guests Katie Hopkins and Chris Ramsey. 10.50 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 5/8. Chubby White decides to go on his first night out in three years. 11.20 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 2/13. The auditions continue.

11.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. Priya finds a loophole in the room-mate agreement. 11.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24.

12.40 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent (R,S). Stephen Mulhern hosts the companion show to the talent competition. 1.40 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). 2.15 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.40 James Arthur: The Hot Desk (R,HD). 2.50 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 Party House (R,S,HD). 1.10 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.40 Youngers (R,S,HD). 2.10 Youngers (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.20 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.15 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.15 Arrow (R,S,HD). Slade finally makes his move. 1.15 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2.10 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

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11.25 The League of Gentlemen (S). 6/6. Mr Chinnery struggles with a calving cow.

11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). Leicester City v Queens Park Rangers.

12.05 Extras (S). With guest star Ian McKellen. 12.45 Extras (S). Andy threatens to fire his agent. 1.15 Bottom (S). 1.45 The Young Ones (S). Mr Balowski becomes a mad axeman. 2.20 The League of Gentlemen (S). Mr Chinnery struggles with a calving cow. 3.00 Close

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). 1.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 2.30 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 4.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). 5.30 Scottish Premiership Football (HD).

7.00 Wild Wales (R,HD). The rugged landscapes of north Wales. Last in the series. 8.00 Chemistry â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Volatile History (R). The battles faced by chemists to control and combine elements. Last in the series. 9.00 Downfall (2004). Fact-based Second World War drama recreating the final days of Adolf Hitler and his most loyal followers as they hide out in their bunker. Starring Bruno Ganz. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.25 Pavlopetri â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The City Beneath the Waves (R,HD). 12.25 The Sky at Night (R,HD). 12.55 Solar Storms â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Threat to Planet Earth (R,HD). 1.55 Chemistry â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Volatile History (R). 2.55 Wild Wales (R,HD).

SATURDAY April 19

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TV PICKS

FARGO 9pm, Channel 4

Crime comedy-drama based on the Coen brothers’ film. An encounter with a drifter sets a salesman on a path of destruction. With Martin Freeman and Billy Bob Thornton.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 8.35 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 10.00 Easter Worship from Leicester (S,HD). 11.00 Urbi et Orbi (S,HD). 11.35 Flog It! (R,S). 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 2.00 More Creatures Great and Small (R,S,HD). 2.30 Formula 1 – Chinese Grand Prix Highlights (S,HD). 4.30 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 5.00 Lifeline (S,HD). 5.10 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 5.45 Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

THE CRIMSON FIELD 9pm, BBC1

Thomas is struggling with a growing attraction to Kitty, although he is having much more success on the wards with a pioneering system for the treatment of wounds. However, despite a test patient doing well, the captain falls victim to a bullying major who is dismissive of his methods.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.30 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 7.30 Gardeners’ World (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Beechgrove Garden (S,HD). 8.30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). The opening session on day two at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield. 12.15 Film: Custer of the West (S,HD) (1967). Historical biopic, starring Robert Shaw. ●●● 2.30 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD).

ALL ABOUT TWO 9pm, BBC2

50 GOLDEN YEARS OF SPORT ON BBC TWO 8pm, BBC2

Dara O Briain hosts a quiz celebrating 50 years of BBC Two in which teams of celebrities answer questions about the channel, with Richard Osman supplying extra facts and figures.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 10.30 Film: Columbo Goes to College (S) (1991). Detective drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●● 12.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.40 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 1.10 The Unforgettable Yootha Joyce (R,S). 1.40 Big Star’s Little Star (R,S,HD). 2.40 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 3.55 Film: A View to a Kill (S,HD) (1985). James Bond adventure, starring Roger Moore. ●●

Sue Barker presents a look back at the history of sport on the channel through some of its most-watched events over the past 50 years. The film examines the birth of programmes including Match of the Day, Ski Sunday and Pot Black and reflects on memorable occasions such as tthe Ashes series in 1981.

Channel 4

6.05 Film: Hoot (S) (2006). Family comedy adventure, starring Luke Wilson. ●●● 7.40 Film: Lassie (S,HD) (2005). Family adventure, starring Peter O’Toole. ●●●● 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). A mother and daughter’s unusual eating habits are revealed. 1.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.35 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 3.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.35 Channel 4 News (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.55 Power Rangers Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.30 Power Rangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.05 Access (R). 11.15 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 11.45 Film: Eragon (S,HD) (2006). Fantasy adventure, starring Ed Speleers. ●● 1.40 Film: Spider-Man 3 (S,HD) (2007). Superhero sequel, starring Tobey Maguire. ●●● 4.20 The Sound of Music Live! (S,HD). Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical, starring Carrie Underwood.

after

For the Love of Cars, 8pm

▼

6.20 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.45 Catchphrase (S,HD). 6/12. Guessing game, hosted by Stephen Mulhern.

▼

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). A visit to the Isles of Scilly, where Ellie Harrison finds out about a rat problem and Matt Baker visits a duck farm. Including Weather for the Week Ahead.

7.00 Morecambe & Wise in Pieces: Leading Men (S). 4/5. Penelope Keith presents a compilation of highlights from the comedy duo’s shows.

7.30 Off Their Rockers (S,HD). 3/7. Velma gets racy in a photo booth.

6.05 Lent Diaries (S). 16/16. The lives of people who worship in Britain’s West African churches. Last in the series. 6.10 Hop (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. Part-animated comedy, starring James Marsden. ●●

▼

8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 18/26. Fiona Bruce and the team make a return visit to Polesden Lacey near Dorking in Surrey, where items include early board game designs and an instrument panel from a Lancaster bomber.

8.00 50 Golden Years of Sport on BBC Two (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Endeavour (S,HD). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Crimson Field (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 All About Two (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Fargo (S). 1/10. See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD). Norwich City v Liverpool, Chelsea v Sunderland and Everton v Manchester United. Mark Chapman presents highlights of the Premier League matches.

10.40 The Making of QI (R,S). An insight into the production of the popular comedy quiz show in which host Stephen Fry awards points to contestants who provide interesting answers to his questions.

10.00 Perspectives: The Magic of Houdini with Alan Davies (S,HD). 1/6. New series. The Jonathan Creek star explores the extraordinary life of escapologist Harry Houdini and takes part in a series of deathdefying acts to understand what made him tick.

11.35 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 3/6. With Kevin Bridges, Phill Jupitus and Sara Pascoe.

11.40 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). Highlights of the evening session at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

11.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.15 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Action from the 20th round of fixtures in the English top flight.

12.20 Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.30 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a match from the first round. 2.30 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). Matt Baker explores the history of shrimping in Southport. 3.25 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Raf and Amy await the results of their IVF treatment. 4.25 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.15 The Store. Home shopping. 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

www.mpct.co.uk

7.00 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 7.05 The Forbidden Kingdom (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●●

9.00 Act of Valor (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. A team of elite Navy personnel uncovers a terrorist plot while on a mission to rescue a captive CIA agent. Military adventure, starring Alex Veadov and Roselyn Sanchez. Edited for language. ●●

10.30 Heat (S,HD) (1995). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

10.50 Punisher: War Zone (S,HD) (2008). Premiere. The ruthless vigilante faces a battle to the death with a disfigured mobster. Action thriller based on the Marvel comic-book, starring Ray Stevenson and Dominic West. ●●

1.35 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 2.20 The Hotel (R,S,HD). The Grosvenor hosts an Indian-themed night. 3.15 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). The experts move a family into a spacious home. 4.10 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). A father attempts to transform his bedroom for £50. 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

12.55 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Britain’s Crime Capitals (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.45 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.35 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.45 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

Call:08442 438438

Key Stage 4

Apprenticeships

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1,800 Enlistments

Recognised Qualifications

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15 UK Locations

Active Learning

Military Preparation Established 1999 90% Phase 1 Training Success

Get a Head Start

The Dog Rescuers, 11.15am

8.00 For the Love of Cars (S). 1/6. New series. Life on Mars star Philip Glenister and renowned car designer Ant Anstead scour barns and lock-ups across the nation on a mission to restore six classic British motors.

▼

Catchphrase, 6.45pm

6.00 Davis v Taylor: The ’85 Black Ball Final (R,S). A look back at the 1985 World Snooker Championship final.

▼

Davis v Taylor: The ‘85 Black ... 6pm

6.35 Regional News (S,HD).

▼

6 7 8 9

Antiques Roadshow, 8pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Iwyps 9@4 :89<

Develop Core Values

Ages 16-23

Grow the Workforce

Morse (Shaun Evans) investigates the case of a boy from a broken home who has been reported missing, as the body of a journalist is found in mysterious circumstances. Last in the series.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.35 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.00 You’ve Been Framed! Family Special (R,S). 12.40 Film: Valiant (S,HD) (2005) ●●● 2.15 Film: Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). Animated comedy. ●●●● 4.15 Britain’s Got Talent (R,S,HD). 5.30 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S).

HAWAII FIVE-0 9pm, Sky1

McGarrett and Danny find themselves in a tight spot when an escaped convict desperate to clear his name kidnaps the duo to help his cause. Meanwhile, Grace gets into an argument at school – and shows she takes after her father by settling the row with her fists. Michael Madsen guest stars.

6.00 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 6.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.35 Charmed (R,S). 8.25 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8.55 Youngers (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 1.35 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 3.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power (S,HD). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Special (S). 9.30 Hugh Jackman: Becoming Wolverine (S,HD). 10.00 WWE (HD). 12.00 Storm City (R,S,HD). 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew (R,S,HD). 2.00 Futurama (R,S). 3.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 3.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

ENDEAVOUR 8pm, ITV

THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM 7.05pm, Channel 5

HEAT 10.30pm, Channel 4

A detective becomes obsessed with capturing a career criminal who is planning one last robbery. Thriller, with Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.

Premiere. A teenager is sent back in time to ancient China where he takes on a quest. Martial arts adventure, with Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

GOLD

6.00 Waiting for God (S). 6.30 Yes Minister (S). 7.00 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 7.40 Jeeves and Wooster (S). 8.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.50 Yes Minister (S). 10.25 One Foot in the Grave (S). 11.50 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 5.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Champions League Weekly (HD). 6.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 8.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 9.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). 11.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Norwich City v Liverpool (Kick-off 12.00pm). 2.00 Live Super Sunday (HD). Chelsea v Sunderland (Kick-off 2.05pm). 4.00 Live Super Sunday (HD). Everton v Manchester United (Kick-off 4.10pm).

The Lost World ... 6.30pm

Independence Day, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9pm

Extras, 10pm

6.30 The Lost World: Jurassic Park (S,HD) (1997). Dinosaur adventure sequel, with Jeff Goldblum. ●●●

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 14/22. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12/24. 6.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 13/24.

6.10 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 3/10. 6.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 7/7. A disaster befalls the Trotters.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 17/24. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 18/24. Sheldon becomes terrified of getting his hair cut.

7.00 About a Boy (R,S,HD). 3/13. Will is asked to be godfather to Andy and Laurie’s son. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/22.

7.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1987 in which DelBoy sets out to find his dear departed mother’s treasure trove.

7.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Sevilla v Granada. Coverage of the second half of the La Liga match at the Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan.

8.00 Independence Day (S,HD) (1996). The US president leads the fight against a force of seemingly indestructible aliens intent on conquering Earth. Sci-fi adventure, with Will Smith, Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum. Edited for language and violence. ●●●●

8.00 The Simpsons (S,HD). 1/22. New series. Homeland spoof. 8.30 The Simpsons (S,HD). 2/22. Another trio of Halloween stories, including Homer given a Dr Seuss-style makeover.

8.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 7/8. Part one of two. Del and Rodney get the chance to leave Peckham behind for a holiday in the Florida sun. David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst star.

8.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Real Sociedad v Espanyol (Kick-off 8.00pm). All the action from the La Liga encounter at the Anoeta Stadium.

9.00 Quantum of Solace (S,HD) (2008). James Bond sets out on a personal mission of vengeance and uncovers a plan to cause a coup in a Latin American country. Spy thriller sequel, with Daniel Craig and Olga Kurylenko. Including FIY Daily. ●●●

Live Super Sunday, 4pm

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S,HD). 14/24. See Choices Above.

BBC3

7.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). A controlling brideto-be allows her partner to plan their wedding. 8.00 Toy Story 3 (S,HD) (2010). Animated adventure, with the voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. ●●●●● 9.35 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). The comedian’s perspective on the news. 10.05 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 10.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 10.50 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 11.20 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.05 Ja’mie: Private School Girl (R,S,HD). 12.35 Ja’mie: Private School Girl (R,S,HD). 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.30 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.15 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 3.00 In the Flesh (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 The Man in the White Suit (HD) (1951). Satirical Ealing comedy, starring Alec Guinness. ●●●●● 8.25 The Happiest Days of Your Life (1950). Comedy, starring Alastair Sim. ●●●● 9.45 The Art of Tommy Cooper (R). The life and work of the comedian. 10.15 The Secret Life of Bob Monkhouse (R). The story of the comedian and game show host’s life and career. 11.45 Arena: Ken Dodd – Happiness (R). A 2007 profile of the comedian. 12.45 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (R,HD). 1.15 Imagine – Jimi Hendrix: Hear My Train a Comin’ (R,HD). 2.45 Jimi Hendrix: The Road to Woodstock (R,HD).

SUNDAY

10.00 Extras (S). 5/6. With 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles guest star Ian McKellen. (S,HD). 13/24. Afghanistan-based Kensi 10.40 Extras (S). 6/6. Andy and Granger collaborate threatens to fire his with their LA colleagues agent. on the murder of an agent familiar with a money transfer system connected to several terrorist groups.

10.00 Football Special (HD). Norwich City v Liverpool, Chelsea v Sunderland and Everton v Manchester United. Highlights of the Premier League matches at Carrow Road, Stamford Bridge and Goodison Park.

11.10 Hostage (S,HD) (2005). Thriller, starring Bruce Willis. ●●

11.00 Rude Tube: Total Stunts (R,S). 4/6. The 50 most dangerous stunts on the internet.

11.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 5/11. With David Walliams, Mo Farah and Clare Balding.

11.20 Nighty Night (S). 6/6. Jill starts a new life.

11.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 1/16. The success achieved by Chelsea under the ownership of Roman Abramovich.

1.35 Mom (R,S,HD). Christy and Bonnie throw Violet a baby shower. 2.00 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Damon ponders how to make a confession to Elena. 2.40 Ke$ha: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.50 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 Rude Tube: Total Stunts (R,S). 2.55 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.20 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). With Ronnie O’Sullivan, Jimmy Carr and Christine Bleakley. 1.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). Police officers combat vehicle crime. 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S). 5.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse (R,S).

12.00 Getting On. Den tries to win the Nurse of the Year title. 12.40 Shooting Stars (S). With Tulisa, Brendan Cole, Chris Kamara and John Simpson. 1.15 Nighty Night (S). 1.45 Getting On. 2.15 Shooting Stars (S). With Tulisa, Brendan Cole, Chris Kamara and John Simpson. 3.00 Close

12.00 Spanish Football (HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). Norwich City v Liverpool, Chelsea v Sunderland and Everton v Manchester United. 2.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 3.00 Spanish Football (HD). 4.00 Football Special (HD). 5.30 Champions League Weekly (HD).

April

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Iwyps 9@4 :89<

TV PICKS

TOMMY COOPER: NOT LIKE THAT, LIKE THIS 9pm, ITV

AMAZON’S RETAIL REVOLUTION: BUSINESS BOOMERS 9pm, BBC2

Biopic of the hugely popular comedian, who was in love with two women and unable to choose between them.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 9.45 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 10.45 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.30 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.25 Film: 102 Dalmatians (S,HD) (2000). ●●● 3.00 Wanted Down Under (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Flog It! (R,S). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

24 HOURS ON EARTH 7pm, BBC1

British people do more of their shopping online than any other nation and last year tens of millions of Brits used Amazon to buy £4.5billion worth of goods. This film charts the fortunes of a company Jeff Bezos started in his garage in Bellevue, Washington state.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 Film: Letter from an Unknown Woman (S) (1948). ●●●●● 8.30 Film: The Island at the Top of the World (S,HD) (1974). ●●● 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off Revisited (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). The second session on the third day at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

How the changing position of the sun over the course of a day affects animals’ behaviour, from the chameleon using solar power to survive to a family of lemurs enjoying the heat.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). 10.20 The Unforgettable Dick Emery (R,S). 10.55 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 11.55 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S). 12.40 Mystery Map (R,S,HD). 1.40 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.50 Regional News (S). 1.55 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.00 Film: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (S,HD) (2004). ●●●● 5.35 The Chase (S,HD).

ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE 9pm, Channel 4

Stephanie, 21, was told she might never have children, so she was shocked when what she thought was a stomach bug turned out to be the early stages of pregnancy. She and her partner Tyrone, 22, are joined by her mother for the birth, who has come prepared with advice for the new parents.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Home and Away (S,HD). Heath is forced to call on Nate’s help after Jess goes into labour. 12.45 Neighbours: The Shooting (S,HD). Part one of two. 1.20 Film: Ben-Hur (S) (1959). Oscarwinning epic, starring Charlton Heston. ●●●●● 5.30 Neighbours: The Shooting (R,S,HD).

Rev, 10pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

Food Unwrapped Easter … 8pm

Classic Car Rescue, 8pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.15 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 129/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 11/20. A couple hoping to move to the Dordogne.

6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 23/25. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Holly discovers a body floating in the river.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 Neighbours: The Shooting (S,HD). Part two of two. 6.55 5 News Update (S).

▼

7.00 24 Hours on Earth (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 11/45. The first of the South West region heats.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). A suspicious James is struck by an old photo of himself. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Steve overhears Carla say she will have an abortion.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade (S,HD). 6/8. The murky history of buy-one-get-one-free offers.

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD). Jason and Rachel try out wearable technology. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Ian is desperate to find the twins – unaware of the tragic news that awaits him. 8.30 Miranda (R,S,HD). 2/6. Gary decides to join the dating scene.

8.00 Restaurant Wars: The Battle for Manchester (S,HD). 2/3. Simon Rogan tries to get his group of young chefs to meet his exacting standards, and Aiden Byrne’s design team struggles to complete the restaurant in time for opening night.

8.00 I Never Knew That About Britain (S,HD). 8/8. The man who added an engine to a bicycle. Last in the series. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Steve confronts Tina over her affair with Peter.

8.00 Food Unwrapped Easter Special (S). The team focuses on springtime produce, exploring the possible health benefits of dark chocolate, why rabbit is not generally stocked in UK supermarkets, and rare double egg yolks.

8.00 Classic Car Rescue (S,HD). The duo restore a Fiat 500, but Mario Pacione is not impressed when Bernie Fineman spends £2,000 behind his back to coax an extra six brake horsepower out of the 500cc engine. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

9.00 Jamaica Inn (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Amazon’s Retail Revolution: Business Boomers (S,HD). 3/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Tommy Cooper: Not Like That, Like This (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 One Born Every Minute (S). 9/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Britain’s Crime Capitals (S,HD). Nick Wallis joins West Midlands Police’s task force dealing with gang-related crime in Birmingham, and examines the effects it can have on communities. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

6 7 8 9

The One Show, 6.30pm

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.15 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 10.20 Have I Got a Bit More News for You (S,HD). 3/9. Hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, with Henning Wehn and Shirley Williams.

10.00 Rev (S,HD). 5/6. Adam discovers Nigel has reported him to the bishop. 10.30 All About Two (R,S,HD). Dara O Briain hosts a quiz celebrating 50 years of BBC Two in which teams of celebrities answer questions about the channel.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.05 Regional Programme (R,S,HD). 11.50 The Football League Show (S). Highlights of today’s games in the Championship, League One and League Two.

10 11

▼

after

1.10 Weatherview (S). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 1.00 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a match from the first round. 3.00 Sign Zone: A Very British Renaissance (R,S). The tension between European and British cultures. Last in the series. 4.00 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

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10.00 Lee Mack Live (R,S). The comedian’s live show, performed at London’s Bloomsbury Theatre, in which he touches on bizarre subjects, from pasty marketing to grandmothers snorting a powdered dessert.

10.00 Booze, Bust-Ups & Brothels: Soho Blues (R,S). 5/6. Police officers in London’s West End are called to assist a man who has fallen 60ft, and later target pickpockets who are carrying thousands of pounds in stolen currency.

11.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.20 Women Behind Bars with Trevor McDonald (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. An inmate who spent 35 years on the run.

11.05 Gogglebox (R,S). 7/12. Viewers’ opinions on recent TV.

11.00 Rocky Balboa (S,HD) (2006). See Choices Above. ●●●●

12.15 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly (S,HD). 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.05 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.10 Fargo (R,S,HD). Crime comedy-drama based on the Coen brothers’ film. 1.30 New Worlds (R,S,HD). Beth’s ship is wrecked on the shores of Massachusetts. 2.40 Hostages (R,S,HD). 3.25 Scandal (S,HD). 4.10 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Harold Shipman: Driven to Kill (R,S,HD). Part one of two. Dramadocumentary about the serial killer. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A property in Hammersmith, west London. 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

ABOUT A BOY 9.30pm, Sky1

Marcus has fallen in love with school friend Hannah, so he asks Will for advice on getting her to invite him to her birthday party. But is the youngster cut out to be a bad boy? Meanwhile, Will puts his own advice into practice in the hope of winning back cello woman Dakota.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.30 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 8.50 Film: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (S,HD) (2005). ●●● 11.05 Film: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (S) (2006). ●●● 12.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.15 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 5.30 Film: Valiant (S,HD) (2005). ●●●

Mr Magorium’s … 7.05pm

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 Film: Hop (S,HD) (2011). ●●

Hop, 5pm

Sky1 6.00 Mission Implausible (R,S,HD). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 11.00 David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD). 12.00 Making David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD). 1.30 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

JAMAICA INN 9pm, BBC1

Adaptation of Daphne du Maurier’s 1821-set novel about a young woman who becomes mixed up with smugglers after moving to Cornwall. Jessica Brown Findlay stars. Continues tomorrow.

ROCKY BALBOA 11pm, Channel 5

GOLD 6.20 Waiting for God (S). 6.50 Yes Minister (S). 7.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.45 Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp. 9.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.25 Blackadder Goes Forth (S). Capt Blackadder joins the Royal Flying Corps. 5.00 Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp. 5.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Modern Family, 8.30pm

Blackadder Goes … 10.10pm

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 10/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 18/22. Bart falls for the wrong girl.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 4/10. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 8/8. Part two of two.

7.05 Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (S,HD) (2007). The dying owner of a magical toy shop plans to leave the business to his assistant, but the store itself is not happy. Fantasy comedy, with Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman. Including FIY Daily. ●●

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sam worries about Danny. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11/20. Ted considers dating his tattoo-removal doctor.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 20/22. Marge signs up Bart for piano lessons. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 1/22. Homeland spoof.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 14/22. Jeffords prepares to join Peralta and Boyle on a mission to infiltrate a gym. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 11/24.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 2/22. Another trio of Halloween stories, including Homer given a Dr Seuss-style makeover. 8.30 Modern Family (S,HD). 14/24. Claire and Phil spy on Luke and his friends.

9.00 Shaun of the Dead (S,HD) (2004). An aimless man decides to get his life back on track just as zombies start to roam the streets of London to feast on the living. Comedy horror, with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. ●●●●

9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 16/22. Margaux’s father Pascal LeMarchal returns from France, sending shockwaves through the Hamptons community. Meanwhile, Victoria and Emily clash.

9.00 Modern Family (S,HD). 15/24. Phil, Jay and Luke wage war against the Thorpe family. 9.30 About a Boy (S,HD). 4/13. Marcus falls in love.

10.00 Star-Crossed (R,S,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (S). 3/13. Roman fears for 3/11. As London Fashion Emery’s safety when she Week gets under way, is tasked with filming Mark Francis, Binky and the townsfolk’s Louise look out for the commemoration for the newest trends, while fallen soldiers, while the Spencer eyes up some of other Atrians plan some the models – including fun at the humans’ Emma. expense.

WALL.E 7.30pm, BBC3

The ageing fighter comes out of retirement to take on the current reigning heavyweight champion. Boxing drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone.

8.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1992. Always one to jump on the latest bandwagon, Del-Boy goes eco-friendly and launches a bottled water business.

A robot cleaning a deserted future Earth falls in love with a survey droid and follows her into space. Animated adventure, with the voice of Ben Burtt.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). 10.00 Soccer Extra – Bank Holiday Special (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). Leyton Orient v Wolverhampton Wanderers (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2.30 Soccer Special (HD). 5.00 FL72 Live (HD). Leeds United v Nottingham Forest (Kick-off 5.15pm).

Live Football, 7.30pm

7.30 Live Monday Night Football (HD). Manchester City v West Bromwich Albion (Kickoff 8.00pm). Coverage of the Premier League meeting at the Etihad Stadium, between two teams desperate for points.

12.05 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 12.35 Teen Killers: Life Without Parole (R,S,HD). 1.35 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.15 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 3.00 Teen Killers: Life Without Parole (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Rosslyn Chapel: A Treasure in Stone (R,HD). The art and architecture of the building. 8.00 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (HD). 8.30 Only Connect (HD). 9.00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century (HD). 10.00 Deep, Down and Dirty – The Science of Soil (R,HD). 11.00 Timewatch: The Real Bonnie and Clyde (R,HD). 12.00 America on a Plate: The Story of the Diner (R,HD). 1.00 Only Connect (R,HD). 1.30 The Wonder of Bees with Martha Kearney (R,HD). 2.00 Rosslyn Chapel: A Treasure in Stone (R,HD). 3.00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century (R).

April

10.10 Blackadder Goes Forth (S). 4/6. Capt Blackadder joins the Royal Flying Corps. 10.50 Blackadder Goes Forth (S). 5/6. Capt Blackadder hunts for a spy in hospital.

11.30 Blackadder Goes Forth 11.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). A (S). 6/6. Capt Blackadder review of the latest pretends to be insane. round of fixtures from the Scottish top flight. 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show.

12.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Charlie and Jake compete for a waitress’s affection. 12.30 Dads (R,S,HD). 12.55 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.25 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). Comedy panel show, hosted by Matt Edmondson. 2.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.30 Teleshopping. Home shopping.

12.10 dinnerladies (S). The girls attend their work party. 12.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The quirky comic reenacts the sinking of the Titanic. 1.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 1.40 Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp. 2.05 dinnerladies (S). The girls attend their work party. 2.35 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 3.00 Close

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD). 1.50 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 2.45 Road Wars (R,S). 3.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Women’s Football Show (S,HD). 7.30 WALL.E (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●●●● 9.00 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 9.30 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 10.00 Teen Killers: Life Without Parole (S,HD). Inmates in the United States who received the maximum sentence as teenagers. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD).

MONDAY

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Educating Joey Essex 11.00 Party House (R,S,HD). 1/6. Six groups of friends (R,S,HD). 22/24. The (R,S). The former TOWIE throw the party of a agents try to locate a regular heads to the lifetime. missing undercover wilds of South Africa. operative.

12.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.00 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2.50 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.10 Charmed (R,S). 3.55 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

BBC3

12.30 The Fantasy Football Club (S,HD). 1.00 Monday Night Football (HD). Manchester City v West Bromwich Albion. 3.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 5.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 5.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).

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TV PICKS

NEW WORLDS 9pm, Channel 4

Beth is reunited with Abe, who has escaped from his jail cell in Oxford, while Ned and Hope lead a group of young Bostonians fighting for an independent America.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S). 11.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

THE BIG ALLOTMENT CHALLENGE 8pm, BBC2

The eight remaining pairs of gardeners return to face more challenges in which they are judged not only on what they have grown, but on what they can make out of their produce. This week they have to present their runner beans and roses for scrutiny on the show bench, before making summer wreaths.

BBC2

7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 7.45 Sign Zone: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). 8.30 Sign Zone: Great British Garden Revival (R,S). 9.30 Sign Zone: Great British Railway Journeys (R,S). 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 12.15 The Super League Show (S). 1.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (HD). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

LATER LIVE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; WITH JOOLS HOLLAND 10pm, BBC2

EMBARRASSING BODIES: LIVE FROM THE CLINIC 8pm, Channel 4

With performances by singer-songwriters Paolo Nutini, Neil Finn and Joan as Police Woman, garage rock duo Royal Blood and indie-pop group Lucius.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

The medical team takes more viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; appointments live over the internet from Birminghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Queen Elizabeth Hospital and at the mobile clinic, which Pixie McKenna accompanies to Manchester. Plus, Dawn Harper has her mind and body put to the test.

Channel 4

7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Classic Car Rescue (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours: The Shooting (R,S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: Death Wish â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Part One (R,S,HD). 3.10 Film: A Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rage (S,HD) (2008). Premiere. Crime drama, starring Cynthia Preston. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours: The Shooting (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Heath dotes over his new son. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Moira tries to throw James off the scent. 7.30 Live UEFA Champions League (S,HD). Atletico Madrid v Chelsea (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the semi-final second-leg clash at the Estadio Vicente Calderon. Chelsea are continuing their bid to claim a third consecutive European trophy, having won the Europa League last season and the Champions League in the campaign prior to that. However, they were beaten 4-1 when they last met Atletico in the 2012 European Super Cup. The Spanish side boast a highly talented squad and have emerged as a threat to the supremacy of Real Madrid and Barcelona domestically this term, as well as eliminating Barca from this competition in the quarter-finals.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Head of ape management Eric Shaw has trouble capturing a macaque. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (S,HD). 2/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (S,HD). Noisy chickens make a familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life hell in Yeovil. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 New Worlds (S,HD). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 17/22. Janeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s latest assignment sees him racing against the clock to prove the innocence of a deathrow inmate before the manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s execution order is carried out.

â&#x2013;ź

Law & Order â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 24/25. Homer takes Bart and Lisa to a rock festival. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sam worries about Danny.

â&#x2013;ź

Embarrassing Bodies, 8pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R). 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

â&#x2013;ź

Emmerdale, 7pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 130/140. Quiz hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 12/20. A couple from Cornwall hoping to move to the Limassol district of Cyprus. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 12/45. The South West chefs prepare seafood dishes.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). A distraught Ian has to break the news to his family. Followed by BBC News; Regional News. 8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 28/52. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Big Allotment Challenge (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Jamaica Inn (S,HD). 2/3. Joss makes some shocking confessions, forcing Mary to seek the counsel of vicar Francis Davey â&#x20AC;&#x201C; before an encounter with Jem reignites the spark she felt from their first meeting. Concludes tomorrow.

9.00 Watermen: A Dirty Business (S,HD). 2/6. The problems caused by fat being poured down drains each week in the north-west of England. Plus, staff discover a housing development being illegally supplied with water.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.40 Life and Death Row (S,HD). 2/3. The series looking at capital punishment through the eyes of young people continues by following the trial of Guy Heinze Jr. Concludes on Thursday.

â&#x2013;ź

10 11

Live Snooker, 1pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

â&#x2013;ź

after

12.00 The Guess List (R,S,HD). With Julian Clary, Melanie C, Larry Lamb, Deborah Meaden and David Haye. 12.40 Weatherview (S). 12.45 BBC News (S,HD).

10.00 Later Live â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with Jools Holland (S). 2/7. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time (S,HD). Atletico Madrid v Chelsea. Action from the semi-final first-leg tie at the Estadio Vicente Calderon, where the teams were looking to gain an advantage ahead of the return leg.

10.15 The Man with the 10-Stone Testicles: A Bodyshock Special (R,S,HD). Cameras follow 49-year-old Las Vegas resident Wesley Warren Jr before and after an operation on his giant scrotum, which began swelling in 2008 and has caused him daily struggles.

10.00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (S,HD). 12/24. The team uncovers evidence of a paedophile ring after a man returns to his apartment to find his girlfriend unconscious, tied to a chair and covered in razor cuts.

11.20 The Story of the Open University (R,S). The history of the British institution.

11.35 Wild Britain with Ray Mears (R,S,HD). 1/6. The survival expert explores different habitats, beginning in the Forest of Dean.

11.15 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (R,S). 4/15. With the stars of The Other Woman, plus Paul Hollywood and Paddy McGuinness.

11.00 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 20/20. A case raises doubts over the guilt of a man Megan helped convict. 11.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 1/9. Crime drama, starring Dana Delany.

12.20 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 1.10 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a match from the first round. 3.10 Sign Zone: The Plantagenets (R,S). Robert Bartlett examines how the dynasty ended. Last in the series. 4.10 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.15 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.20 Poker (S). 1.15 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.40 Trans World Sport (R,S). 2.35 FIM Superbike World Championship (R,S). 3.00 Goodwood 72nd Membersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Meeting (R,S). 3.25 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). 4.20 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 4.45 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Booze, Bust-Ups & Brothels: Soho Blues (R,S). Officers catch Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest shoplifting gang. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). An acupuncturistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house in Norwich. 4.45 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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TWIN TOWNS 9pm, Sky1

Two more families from the UK and America trade places as the Chicago-based Owens travel to the Birmingham home of 1980s fanatics the Stevensons, who head in the opposite direction. The two clans experience each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jobs, social lives and schooling to find out what goes on in their twin towns.

ITV2 8.35 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.40 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.25 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 12.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

Sky1

8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

6.00 Mission Implausible (R,S,HD). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 11.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

HOSTAGE 10.50pm, ITV2

FILM PICK

HOLBY CITY 8pm, BBC1

Jac plays her dirtiest card yet in the custody battle, twisting Jonnyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s words and setting her lawyer on him. Meanwhile, Arthur is desperate to impress Guy and new anaesthetist Jesse.

A washed-up former hostage negotiator returns to regular police work, but later finds himself forced to draw on his old skills in a bid to save a crooked accountantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children, who have been taken prisoner in their own home by a gang of psychotic delinquents. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak, Ben Foster, Jonathan Tucker, Michelle Horn, Marshall Allman, Serena Scott Thomas, Rumer Willis and Kim Coates.

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

6.20 Waiting for God (S). 6.50 2point4 Children (S). 8.40 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.40 Yes Minister (S). 10.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.00 Just a Minute. 11.40 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.40 One Foot in the Algarve (S). 3.40 Blackadder Goes Forth (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Monday Night Football (HD). 11.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). Highlights of Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show. 2.00 Monday Night Football (HD). Manchester City v West Bromwich Albion. 4.30 Football Asia (S). 5.00 FL72 Review.

The Vampire Diaries, 9pm

Sister Act, 8pm

The Simpsons, 7pm

The Vicar of Dibley, 8pm

Soccer Special, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 11/40. Darren from London hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 10/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5/10. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/8. The Trotters mourn Grandadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death.

6.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 6.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 6.30 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). A giraffe causes chaos on the road. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Motoring mishaps and naughty animals.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Grace wonders whether to help Trevor. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22. Homer and Marge uncover details of Grampaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 14/22.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/8. Uncle Albert has a nasty fall.

7.30 Soccer Special (HD). Julian Warren introduces pre-match reports and news of all tonightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goals as they go in.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 19/24. Teri Hatcher guest stars. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 20/24. Judith suggests Jake see a therapist.

8.00 Sister Act (S,HD) (1992). A nightclub singer is sent to live in a convent for her own protection after agreeing to testify against a brutal gangster. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg and Harvey Keitel. Edited for language. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,HD). 14/24. McGarrett and Danny are kidnapped by an escaped convict desperate to clear his name.

8.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 2/4. The villagers set up a radio station. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3/4. Geraldine shoots to stardom.

9.00 Twin Towns (S,HD). 2/10. See Choices Above.

9.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4/4. Alice shocks Geraldine with a prewedding revelation.

9.00 The Vampire Diaries (S,HD). 17/22. Enzo and Caroline take a trip to Atlanta in search of a newly discovered doppleganger, and Damon and Elena attend Jeremyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parent-teacher conference. 10.00 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 6/10. With guests Katie Hopkins and Chris Ramsey. 10.50 Hostage (S,HD) (2005). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

1.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Teri Hatcher guest stars. 1.35 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Judith suggests Jake see a therapist. 2.00 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 2.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

10.05 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 16/22. Garrett and Triplett return to help track down the Clairvoyant.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S). Christmas special (R,S,HD). 13/24. (HD). Scott Minto from 2002. Trotters Afghanistan-based Kensi presents highlights of Independent Traders and Granger collaborate the latest La Liga embarks on a booze with their LA colleagues matches in Spain. cruise to France under on the murder of an new managing director agent familiar with a Rodney. money transfer system connected to several terrorist groups.

11.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. Priya finds a loophole in the room-mate agreement. 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24.

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 24/24. An unlikely allegiance is formed.

11.40 The Royle Family (S). 1/6. Denise has an accident while out shopping.

11.00 Premier League Review (HD). A look back at recent fixtures in the English Premier League.

12.00 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 1.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.50 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 1.00 Road Wars (R,S). 1.30 Road Wars (R,S). 2.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Black Adder (S). Edmund is accused of witchcraft. 1.05 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Comic view of the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s television. 1.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. A comic view of Celebrity Big Brother. 1.55 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 2.20 The Black Adder (S). Edmund is accused of witchcraft. 3.00 Close

12.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 1.00 FL72 Review. 2.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 2.15 Football Gold (HD). 2.30 Football Asia (S). 3.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 4.00 Premier League Review (HD). 5.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD).

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BBC3

7.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD). Tempers begin to fray. 8.00 Gavin & Stacey (R,S,HD). 8.30 Gavin & Stacey (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Call Centre (S,HD). Thorpey is forced to reveal a secret relationship. 10.00 Sweat the Small Stuff (S,HD). With guests Abbey Clancy, James McVey and Brad Simpson. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). A distraught Ian has to break the news to his family. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 1.05 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 1.35 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.20 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Call Centre (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD). 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). Michael Portillo visits a garden used as a viewing platform for public hangings. 8.00 At Home with the Georgians (R). How womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s status was raised in the home. 9.00 British Gardens in Time (HD). Exploring one of the best surviving Victorian gardens. 10.00 The First World War (R). 10.50 Operation Crossbow (R,HD). The use of 3D photography in reconnaissance missions during the Second World War. 11.50 Entertaining the Troops (R). 12.50 Wild Wales (R, HD). 1.50 At Home with the Georgians (R). 2.50 British Gardens in Time (R).

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TV PICKS

DEREK 10pm, Channel 4

The retirement-home worker looks forward to his father moving in, while Tom and Hannah take things to another level. Comedy drama, written by and starring Ricky Gervais.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

BIG STARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LITTLE STAR 8pm, ITV

Stephen Mulhern hosts the entertainment show in which children spill the beans about their famous relatives, talking about their home lives, making heart-warming revelations or telling downright embarrassing stories. The contestants are all hoping to win a jackpot of ÂŁ15,000 for their chosen charities.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S). 7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 7.45 Sign Zone: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). 8.30 Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 9.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,S). 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off Masterclass (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

MASTERCHEF 8pm, BBC1

Six more amateurs rustle up a dish from a choice of surprise ingredients, including rhubarb, lime, pomegranate and popping candy, or pollock, sausages and quailâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eggs.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). A woman with a collection of cardboard boxes. 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

KILLING SPREE: HORROR AT THE MALL 8pm, Channel 5

On January 8, 2011, Jared Lee Loughner shot congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords in the head at a constituency meeting in a supermarket car park in Tucson, Arizona, before going on to kill six people and injuring 12 others. This documentary uses testimonies to examine the life of Loughner.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: Death Wish â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Part Two (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Deadly Encounter (S) (2004). Thriller, starring Laura Leighton. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). A Cheshire man on a stag weekend is admitted to the clinic after slipping by the pool and breaking his arm. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). James takes ÂŁ10,000 out of the bank â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and then it goes missing. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Tracy proposes to Rob.

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast. By the UK Independence Party.

â&#x2013;ź

Castle, 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 1/25. Lisa discovers Bartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s demented twin. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Grace wonders whether to help Trevor.

8.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 13/24. See Choices Above.

8.00 Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job (S,HD). 3/6. Archie Melville hopes the summer weather holds to help shift a 970-acre uninhabited island in the Outer Hebrides, while a recently widowed Exeter woman puts her home on the market.

8.00 Big Starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Star (S,HD). 5/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Secret Eaters (S). 7/8. Ticket inspector Michael and his partner Katie have piled on more than eight stone between them in four years, so Anna Richardson puts them under surveillance to find out why.

8.00 Killing Spree: Horror at the Mall (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

Secret Eaters, 8pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R). By the UK Independence Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

9.00 Jamaica Inn (S,HD). 3/3. Mary struggles to know who she can trust, and as the net tightens on the smugglers, Jem is determined to find out who gives Joss his orders. Last in the series.

9.00 Ian Hislopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Olden Days â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Power of the Past in Britain (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Law & Order: UK (S,HD). 7/8. When a series of shootings claims one of their own, Ronnie and Joe must solve the case before the killer reaches the next target â&#x20AC;&#x201C; on a hit list that includes Henry Sharpe.

9.00 How to Get a Council House (S,HD). 2/3. With 20,000 households on the waiting list for a council home in Tower Hamlets, this edition meets some of those who are facing eviction, overcrowding and upheaval.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 13/24. A marine lance corporal is involved in a fatal car crash, and Abby calls in sick after the case stirs up a traumatic incident from her childhood.

â&#x2013;ź

Big Starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Star, 8pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 13/20. Newlyweds hoping to move to the Italian region of Umbria. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 13/45. The South West chefs prepare their main courses.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the live magazine show featuring big-name studio guests. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 23/36. With David Murdoch and Michael Carberry.

10.00 Happy Birthday BBC Two (S). 3/4. The celebration of the channel continues. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Gradyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animal Orphans (R,S,HD). 3/3. The comedian bottle-feeds a giraffe calf, meets a warthog that is about to be released into the wild, preens a vulture chick and visits Kafue National Park.

10.00 Derek (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above. 10.30 Game Face (S,HD). Comedy, written by and starring Roisin Conaty.

10.00 Castle (S,HD). 18/24. The chief writer of a soap opera is found dead in a wardrobe on the set of the show with an axe stuck in her back, and a fan offers Beckett and Castle intriguing information.

11.05 Room 101 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Extra Storage (S,HD). 1/8. With Richard Osman, Joan Bakewell and Roisin Conaty. 11.45 The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.20 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). The final session on the fifth day at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

11.35 Baboons with Bill Bailey (R,S,HD). 3/8. The Smitz troop tackles an aggressive intruder.

11.00 Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (R,S). Stand-up comedy from Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bloomsbury Theatre.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S,HD). 7/22. A clergyman is found shot dead. 11.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R,S,HD). 10/19. A polygamistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife is murdered.

1.20 Weatherview (S). 1.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a firstround match. 2.10 Sign Zone: Border Country: The Story of Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lost Middleland (R,S). Part one of two. The impact and legacy of the building of Hadrianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wall. 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Music on 4: Music Nation (S). 12.35 Film: The Savages (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.30 Film: Brighton Rock (S,HD) (1947). Thriller, starring Richard Attenborough. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.10 SuperScrimpersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Challenge (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). Noisy chickens make a familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life hell in Yeovil. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

10 11

Under Offer â&#x20AC;Ś 8pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

A Question of Sport, 10.35pm

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The satirist explores the idealised vision of the countryside celebrated by British writers, painters and musicians over the past 160 years.

ITV2

Keith Lemon invites his Celebrity Juice co-star Holly Willoughby and showbiz legend Cilla Black to join Dave Berry on the panel as he noses around the homes of three mystery celebrities. The panellists must use their powers of deduction and observation to identify the famous homeowners.

Sky1

THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE 11.45pm, BBC1

THE SAVAGES 12.25am, Channel 4

An estranged sister and brother are forced to take care of their elderly father. Comedy drama, starring Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

A middle-aged woman forced to live in a dull retirement community looks back on her wild youth. Drama, starring Robin Wright.

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Britain’s Got More Talent (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

The Sweetest Thing, 10pm

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Speed, 9pm

The Royle Family, 11.45pm

Live UEFA Champions ... 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 7/40. Tyson from London looks for love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 23/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 14/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/22. Homer becomes a celebrity.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 6/10. Hyacinth attends an exclusive auction. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses

6.00 Boots ’n’ All (HD). Super League review.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Lindsey and Sandy demand answers. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 13/20. With Britney Spears.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 20/22. Homer receives marital advice. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/24. Featuring the voice of Sting.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 21/24. Heather Locklear guest stars. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 22/24. Charlie tries to cure Alan of sleepwalking.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11/24. Marshall devises three bedtime stories based on the gang’s exploits. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/24. Penny makes a decision.

8.00 Storm City (R,S,HD). 1/4. Ben Fogle investigates the devastating impact of extreme weather.

8.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 1/4. Geraldine receives a surprise visitor.

9.00 Speed (1994). A cop tries to save the passengers on a bus that is wired to explode if it goes below 50mph. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels. ●●●●

9.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 2/4. Alice suggests an unconventional nativity play.

9.00 Through the Keyhole 9.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 3/6. See Choices (S). 16/22. Morgan dares to betray Jedikiah’s trust, Above. while Ultra and the Tomorrow People learn there is a new break-out doing good deeds to help humans, and they both want her on their side.

7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

THROUGH THE KEYHOLE 9pm, ITV2

IAN HISLOP’S OLDEN DAYS – THE POWER OF THE PAST IN BRITAIN 9pm, BBC2

6.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 6.50 Just a Minute. 7.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 9.40 One Foot in the Algarve (S). 11.40 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 5.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

(S). Christmas special from 2002. The Trotters go to France.

9.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 10.00 Premier League Review (HD). 11.00 FL72 Review. 12.00 Spanish Football Gold (S). 12.30 Football Asia (S). 1.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 2.00 Premier League Review (HD). 3.00 FL72 Review. 4.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 5.00 Premier League Review (HD).

7.00 Live UEFA Champions League (HD). Real Madrid v Bayern Munich (Kick-off 7.45pm). All the action from the semifinal first-leg encounter at the Bernabeu, where the defending champions face a tough task against the Spanish giants.

10.05 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 What’s the Story? (HD). (S). Christmas special Sarah-Jane Mee presents from 2003. Del and a discussion show Rodney have only two focusing on recent sports weeks to find the cash developments. they need to pay the Inland Revenue, or face losing their cherished flat in Nelson Mandela House.

10.00 The Sweetest Thing 10.00 Party House (S,HD). (S,HD) (2002). A woman 2/6. Focusing on James, chases the man of her whose pals are trying to dreams across America find him a boyfriend in a bid to prevent him owing to him being fed from marrying someone up with his non-existent else. Romantic comedy, love life, and Allie and starring Cameron Diaz, Elise – a couple Christina Applegate and supposedly on a break. Selma Blair. ●●● 11.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 11.50 Two and a Half Men 3/11. London Fashion (R,S,HD). 21/24. Heather Week gets under way. Locklear guest stars.

11.15 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1/24. A special agent disappears.

11.45 The Royle Family (S). 3/6. Jim embarks on a spot of DIY.

11.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.45 Football Gold (S,HD). Chelsea v Arsenal from 1997/98.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12.45 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). 2.15 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team tracks a dangerous hit squad. 1.15 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.10 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.05 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Black Adder (S). Edmund plans to steal the throne. 1.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic view of Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures. 1.25 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Chariot racing with a dog and a sofa. 1.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 2.15 The Black Adder (S). 3.00 Close

12.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 1.00 Football Gold (S,HD). 1.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 2.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 3.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD).

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 12.35 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 1.05 Rude Tube: Viral Ads (R,S). 2.05 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.55 Being Erica (R,S,HD). 3.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). The hosts bid to prove that cars can be art. 8.00 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). Thorpey is forced to reveal a secret relationship. 9.00 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (S,HD). Two new trainees arrive. 10.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S). Two teenagers travel to the party town of Malia in Crete. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Lois is forced to find a job. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.05 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 12.35 Invasion of the Job Snatchers (R,S,HD). 1.35 The Call Centre (R,S,HD). 2.35 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 3.15 Orphan Black (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 Mud, Sweat and Tractors: The Story of Agriculture (R). Wheat farming in Britain. 9.00 Girl with a Pearl Earring (HD) (2003). Period drama, starring Scarlett Johansson. ●●●● 10.30 Secret Lives of the Artist: Vermeer (R). Andrew GrahamDixon explores the life of Johannes Vermeer. 11.35 Parks and Recreation (R). 11.55 Parks and Recreation (R). 12.15 Kings of Rock ’n’ Roll (R). 1.15 Chemistry – A Volatile History (R). 2.15 Mud, Sweat and Tractors: The Story of Agriculture (R). 3.15 Sounds of the 70s (R).

WEDNESDAY April 23 ��’� ��

Business

Week �

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TV PICKS

WANTED: A FAMILY OF MY OWN 9pm, ITV

MASTERCHEF 8pm, BBC1

Nicky Campbell follows the adoption process, from prospective parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; meetings with social workers to the moment a child leaves foster carers.

BBC1

The final heat sees the last new group of amateur cooks competing for a place in tomorrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quarter-final. As usual, they begin by showing off their culinary skills with a single plate of food, before rustling up a dish in the invention test from either the sweet box or the savoury box.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Done, Get Dom (R,S,HD). 7.45 Sign Zone: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). 9.15 Sign Zone: Gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; World (R,S). 9.45 Lifeline (R,S,HD). 9.55 Animal Park (R,S). 10.55 Film: Duel in the Sun (S) (1946). Western, starring Gregory Peck. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (HD). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

PROTECTING OUR PARENTS 9pm, BBC2

KEVINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SUPERSIZED SALVAGE 9pm, Channel 4

The dilemma faced by elderly care services when trying to keep people living in their own homes, focusing on the case of a bed-bound woman.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). Two sisters confront their fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s collection of items. 3.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Kevin McCloud challenges three designers to turn a plane into hundreds of new products in a giant upcycling experiment. By fashioning office pods, desk lamps, rickshaws, rocking chairs, luggage, storage and even jewellery from the aircraft, they aim to show how creativity is a solution to Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s waste crisis.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.35 The King of Queens (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door (R,S,HD). Noisy chickens make a familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life hell in Yeovil. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Gospel of Deceit (S) (2006). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Newsnight, 10.30pm

The Chase, 5pm

Posh Pawn, 8pm

Person of Interest, 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD). By the Labour Party.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R). By the Labour Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/25. The family moves to another town. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Lindsey and Sandy demand answers.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast. By the Labour Party.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Cindyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lack of respect prompts Ian to make a drastic decision. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 14/20. A couple hoping to move to Malaga in southern Spain. 7.30 Great British Menu (S,HD). 14/45. The South West chefs prepare desserts.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Cain piles the pressure on Belle as her court date arrives. 7.30 Man Versus Machine: Tonight (S,HD). The growth of robotics in the workplace.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Dougie and Mark chase a serial offender on foot. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

8.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 14/24. See Choices Above.

8.00 Digby Jones: The New Troubleshooter (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Debbie decides to look into Peteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s background. 8.30 Ade at Sea (S,HD). 6/6. Adrian Edmondson sails along the north-west coast of England. Last in the series.

8.00 Posh Pawn (S). 2/6. An entrepreneur wants to borrow ÂŁ100,000 against his Lamborghini, Ken Russellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ex-wife brings in some family photographs and a mother-ofthree parts with her mumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s diamond ring.

8.00 Beware! Cowboy Builders Abroad (S,HD). Dominic Littlewood and Gabrielle Blackman head to Cyprus to explore the case of an expat couple whose plans for retirement have turned into a nightmare. Followed by 5 News.

â&#x2013;ź

9.00 Parking Mad (S,HD). 2/4. The residents of a West Bromwich neighbourhood are upset about losing parking spaces to the staff of a new police station. Bailiffs try to get ÂŁ516 from a man who only has a pound.

9.00 Protecting Our Parents (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Wanted: A Family of My Own (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Kevinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Supersized Salvage (S). See Choices Above.

9.00 Harold Shipman: Catching Dr Death (S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. The docu-drama reveals how Shipman covered his tracks and examines the unravelling of decades of lies that subsequently led to his conviction.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 10.35 Life and Death Row (S,HD). 3/3. Following the work of law students at the University of Houston as they fight for the lives of two of the youngest prisoners facing execution in the US. Last in the series.

10.00 Happy Birthday BBC Two (S). 4/4. The celebration of the channel concludes. Last in the series. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Births, Deaths and Marriages (R,S,HD). 1/2. First of a two-part documentary following people recording landmark moments of love.

10.30 Inside Rolls-Royce (R,S,HD). Behind the scenes at the renowned car manufacturerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Goodwood factory, as the team builds the luxurious Celestial Phantom, which comes complete with diamondstudded interior.

10.00 Person of Interest (S). 14/22. Reese and Finch try to protect the co-creator of a socialnetworking site that is being floated on the stock market, and discover he is having an affair with a rivalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.35 Two for the Money (S) (2005). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.20 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). Highlights of the sixth day from Sheffield.

11.40 Harbour Lives (R,S,HD). 2/8. A restaurateur who catches the fish for his menu.

11.35 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic (R,S,HD). 2/8. The effects of alcohol on mind and body.

11.00 Law & Disorder: Catching Criminals. CCTV cameras film police dealing with thugs, shoplifters and burglars.

1.30 Holiday Weatherview (S). 1.35 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a match from the sixth day. 2.10 Sign Zone: Border Country: The Story of Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lost Middleland (R,S). The impact and legacy of Hadrianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wall. 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Man Versus Machine: Tonight (R,S,HD). The growth of robotics and computer technology in the workplace. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.30 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.35 One Born Every Minute (R,S). 1.30 Food Unwrapped Easter Special (R,S). 2.25 Dead Famous DNA (R,S,HD). 3.20 Unreported World (R,S). 3.50 SuperScrimpersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Challenge (R,S,HD). 4.45 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Bad weather threatens the opening of the new airport terminal. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A selection of highlights. Last in the series. 4.45 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

10 11

â&#x2013;ź

after

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The businessman helps a firm in Co Durham that is diversifying into the production of chest freezers after buying the assets of a liquidated company. Last in the series.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 6.55 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

Killing machine Mei Chen makes a comeback â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and it turns out that as she has the same superchip technology as Gabriel, she is able to hack into his head. Meanwhile, a notentirely-trustworthy CIA agent pops up, and it soon becomes clear she has plans to sell the technology to the Chinese government.

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 Charmed (R,S). 11.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Charmed (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Mission Implausible (R,S,HD). 7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 3.30 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

INTELLIGENCE 9pm, Sky1

DIGBY JONES: THE NEW TROUBLESHOOTER 8pm, BBC2

TWO FOR THE MONEY 11.35pm, BBC1

GOSPEL OF DECEIT 3.15pm, Channel 5

A preacherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife has an affair with a mysterious drifter who has been given a place to stay by her husband. She comes to realise that her marriage is too important to throw away and breaks off the fling, only to find her spurned lover has a dangerous side to his nature. Thriller, starring Alexandra Paul.

A kingpin of the sports betting world recruits a former quarterback who has become a sensation for predicting the outcome of games.

GOLD 6.15 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 8.40 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.40 Yes Minister (S). 10.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 11.00 Just a Minute. 11.40 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.45 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). 2.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 4.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights (HD). Real Madrid v Bayern Munich. Action from the semi-final first-leg encounter at the Bernabeu, where the defending champions faced a tough task. 5.00 FL72 Preview.

Celebrity Juice, 10pm

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 9pm

Arrow, 8pm

Keeping Up â&#x20AC;Ś 6pm

Live Darts, 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 3/40. Londoner Chris hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 7/10. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2003.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S,HD). 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Holly is determined to go ahead with her plan. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 14/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 2/22. Another trilogy of Halloween-inspired stories. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/22.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 23/24. Charlie meets Judithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s support group. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 24/24. Charlie decides to have a vasectomy.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (S,HD). 13/24. 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 12/24. Barney thinks Robin is planning on throwing him a special rehearsal dinner.

8.00 Arrow (S,HD). 19/23. Slade breaks into the lair and sends one member of Team Arrow to the hospital â&#x20AC;&#x201C; then things get really personal when he turns his attention to Thea.

8.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3/4. Alice and Hugoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baby is christened.

9.00 Intelligence (HD). 3/13. See Choices Above.

9.10 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4/4. The village suffers a water shortage.

9.00 Tom Daley Goes 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Global (S,HD). 3/6. The (S,HD). 15/22. Peralta diver and his best friend discovers Santiago is Sophie explore New considering leaving to Zealandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s South Island, work with the Vulture. where they decide to 9.30 2 Broke Girls (S,HD). rent a cheap motorhome 12/24. Max and Dekeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and visit a glacier. relationship blossoms.

10.00 Celebrity Juice (S,HD). 10.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 5/6. 10.00 Revolution (R,S,HD). 17/20. Gene heads into 7/10. With Matthew Moss decides to invent Willoughby to recruit Wright and Antony the perfect bra. more allies, contacting Cotton. 10.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 6/6. an old flame who runs 10.50 Dads (S,HD). 12/19. Douglas hires Jen as his the local bar â&#x20AC;&#x201C; only to Edna is detained for new assistant. discover the extent to being an illegal which the Patriots have immigrant. blackened his reputation. 11.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 23/24. Charlie meets Judithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s support group. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 24/24.

11.00 Rude Tube: Viral Ads 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S). 6/6. The world of (R,S,HD). 3/24. The team comical and absurd viral investigates the commercials on the kidnapping of two internet. marines.

12.15 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). With Ollie Locke, Brian Belo, AJ Odudu and David Morgan. 1.05 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.30 Utterly Outrageous Reality TV Moments 2013 (R,S). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.05 Party House (R,S,HD). Jamesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pals try to find him a boyfriend. 1.10 Revenge (R,S,HD). 2.05 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.30 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.55 Fresh Meat (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). Daniel and Wilhelmina attend a counselling session.

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). A marine is found murdered minus a hand. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). Chin is kidnapped. 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

7.00 Live Premier League Darts (HD). Coverage of the 12th round of the season, staged at the Phones 4u Arena in Manchester, including Raymond van Barneveld v Adrian Lewis and Michael van Gerwen v Dave Chisnall.

10.00 The Royle Family (S). 10.30 FL72 Preview. A look 4/6. Nana grieves for her ahead to the latest best friend. round of fixtures in the Championship, League 10.35 The Royle Family (S). One and League Two. 5/6. Antony displays his juggling skills.

11.15 The Royle Family (S). 6/6. Baby David is christened. 11.55 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 7/13. A comic review of Life on Mars.

11.30 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

12.25 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Comic review of TV favourites. 12.55 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. A quirky look at Lemur Island, Wagsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Boutique and Lewis. 1.25 The Royle Family (S). 1.55 The Royle Family (S). 2.25 The Royle Family (S). Baby David is christened. 3.00 Close

12.30 Premier League World (S,HD). A round-up of the latest news. 1.00 Premier League Darts (HD). Round 12 from Manchester. 4.30 Premier League World (S,HD). A round-up of the latest news. 5.00 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures.

BBC3

7.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). The size of the traineesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; task begins to sink in. 8.00 Free Speech (S,HD). Live debate from Nottingham. 9.00 Dead Behind Bars (S,HD). Young people who have committed suicide in prison. 10.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). An edition from 2009. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Dead Behind Bars (R,S,HD). 1.30 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 2.15 Orphan Black (R,S,HD). 3.00 Dead Behind Bars (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 8.00 Botany: A Blooming History (R). How the science of genetics revolutionised plant breeding. Last in the series. 9.00 The Magic of Mushrooms (HD). Professor Richard Fortey explores the world of fungi. 10.00 Ripping Yarns (R). 10.30 Some Vicars with Jokes (R,HD). 11.00 British Gardens in Time (R,HD). 12.00 Rule Britannia! Music, Mischief and Morals in the 18th Century (R,HD). 1.00 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 1.35 Botany: A Blooming History (R). 2.35 The Magic of Mushr ooms (R).

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TV PICKS

MASTERMIND 7.30pm, BBC2

The grand final, with six contenders answering questions on subjects including Richard Wagner, Philip Larkin, French cinema 1895-1945 and the Salem witch trials.

BBC1

9.15 Helicopter Heroes: New Cases (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom (S,HD). 11.45 Saints and Scroungers (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). 1.45 Perfection (R,S,HD). 2.30 Escape to the Country (R,S). 3.30 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

OUTNUMBERED 9.30pm, BBC1

Pete faces a rising tide of superstition, astrology and conspiracy theories in the Brockman household, which does nothing to help his increasingly painful hangover. Meanwhile, Ben takes time off from re-enacting the Crusades to show a couple of prospective buyers around the house.

BBC2

7.45 Sign Zone: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). 8.30 Sign Zone: The Great Interior Design Challenge (R,S). 9.30 Sign Zone: Mary Berry Cooks (R,S). 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off Masterclass (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 5.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (S,HD).

THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW 10.35pm, BBC1

GOGGLEBOX 9pm, Channel 4

Graham chats to actors Zac Efron and Seth Rogen, who have joined forces for new comedy Bad Neighbours, and former Friends star Matt LeBlanc, who is reprising his role in Episodes.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). A hoarder with a penchant for auction house antiques. 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Posh tipplers Steph and Dom, hairdressers Christopher and Stephen and other favourites share their opinions on what they have been watching during the week. The programme captures their instant reactions and lively – sometimes emotional – discussions from the comfort of their own sofas.

Channel 4

7.10 According to Jim (R,S,HD). 7.30 The King of Queens (R,S). 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.50 Frasier (R,S). 9.50 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 10.50 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 11.50 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 11.55 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Sandown Park. 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Fifteen To One (S). 5.30 Come Dine with Me (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 3.15 Film: The Good Mother (S,HD) (2013). Premiere. Thriller, starring Helen Slater. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Naomi tries to keep Sonya away from potential clients.

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD). 6.55 Party Election Broadcast.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Belle comes up with a plan to get out of going to prison. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Kal and Leanne decide to tell Nick about their feelings.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.30 Unreported World (S). 3/8. Children who fight in the brutal combat sport of Muay Thai.

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). Jason and Rachel try out wearable technology. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

NCIS: Los Angeles, 10pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/25. Homer becomes a boxer. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Holly is determined to go ahead with her plan.

▼

Unreported World, 7.30pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R). 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

▼

Coronation Street, 8.30pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show. 6.30 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). /20. A Lincolnshire couple who want to move to the Midi-Pyrenees region of France. 7.00 Great British Menu (S,HD). 15/45. The two remaining South West chefs prepare their entire menus. 7.30 Mastermind (S,HD). 31/31. See Choices Above.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD). With David Murdoch and Michael Carberry. Followed by BBC News; Regional News. 8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Ian realises he has made a mistake with Cindy. 8.30 MasterChef (S,HD). 15/24. The quarter-finalists cook for food critic Kate Spicer.

8.30 Gardeners’ World (S,HD). 8/31. Rachel de Thame visits Edinburgh’s Royal Botanic Garden.

8.00 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Owen voices his concerns to Anna about their relationship.

8.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 17/22. Coulson and his team of agents find themselves without anyone they can trust after discovering they are trapped with a traitor in their midst.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). Hugh is annoyed when Rick insists on taking an early night, Lane asks Phil to shadow Porkchop on a trip to Prudhoe Bay and Alex delivers a snowblower. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Have I Got News for You (S,HD). 4/9. Hosted by Martin Clunes, with Johnny Vegas and Camilla Long. 9.30 Outnumbered (R,S). 4/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Natural World: France – The Wild Side (S,HD). 3/10. Paul McGann narrates a look at France’s wildlife, revealing wolves, wild boar and bears living in the country’s many mountains, valleys and forests.

9.00 Lewis (R,S,HD). 2/6. Part two of two. The direction of the murder investigation shifts when the two chief suspects provide seemingly unshakeable alibis, and a colleague’s attitude does not help matters.

9.00 Gogglebox (S). 8/12. See Choices Above.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 14/24. Gibbs and the team capture a computer hacker who could hold the key to tracking down a terrorist plotting an attack using a bomb containing a strain of the Ebola virus.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 4/13. See Choices Above.

10.00 The Trip to Italy (S,HD). 4/6. Steve and Rob head to Rome. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

▼

10 11

Natural World: France ... 9pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD). 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament (R,S,HD).

▼

6 7 8 9

Have I Got News for You, 9pm

11.25 Bad Education (S,HD). 3/7. Alfie plans a memorial service for Miss Pickwell. 11.55 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. The police have tragic news for Ian.

11.00 Weather (S). 11.05 Later – with Jools Holland (S,HD). 2/7. Extended edition. With Paolo Nutini, Royal Blood, Neil Finn, Joan as Police Woman and Lucius.

1.50 Weatherview (S). 1.55 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Snooker: The World Championship (S,HD). 1.00 Snooker: World Championship Extra (S,HD). Extended highlights of a match from the second round. 3.00 Sign Zone: Fast and Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers (R,S). 4.00 This Is BBC Two (S,HD). Preview of upcoming programmes.

▼

after

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Bourne Ultimatum (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

12.40 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (S). 5/15. The host is joined by guests including Martin Freeman, discussing his starring role in Channel 4 series Fargo, based on the Coen brothers film, and the Kooks perform Around Town.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 8/24. Callen and Sam investigate the murder of a lance corporal who was linked to a civilian militia group responsible for the theft of anti-tank missiles from a Navy base.

11.05 Rude Tube (S,HD). 1/8. Viral clips of merry mishaps.

11.00 Britain’s Crime Capitals (R,S,HD). 2/4. Gang-related crime in Birmingham.

12.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 12.30 Film: Lucky Number Slevin (S,HD) (2006). See Choices Above. ●●● 2.20 Random Acts (S,HD). 2.25 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.45 Happy Endings (S,HD). 3.10 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 3.50 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge (R,S,HD). 4.45 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.40 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Dougie and Mark chase a serial offender on foot. 4.00 HouseBusters (R,S). 4.20 HouseBusters (R,S). An unsettling property in Stevenage. 4.45 Great Scientists (R,S). The life and legacy of Charles Darwin. 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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INTELLIGENCE 10pm, Sky1

In Norfolk, the Davises take a boat trip along the Broads, before visiting the seaside resort of Hunstanton, where Warwick takes part in an RNLI training exercise.

ITV2 9.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Miami (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Miami (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

WEEKEND ESCAPES WITH WARWICK DAVIS 8pm, ITV

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN 12.30am, Channel 4

A case of mistaken identity leaves a man with the job of killing a crime boss on behalf of a rival kingpin. Thriller, with Josh Hartnett.

GOLD

7.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.30 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM 10.35pm, ITV

6.15 Waiting for God (S). 6.45 Yes Minister (S). 7.15 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 7.55 Just a Minute. 8.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 9.30 Yes Minister (S). 10.10 One Foot in the Grave (S). 11.40 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 2.00 One Foot in the Grave (S). 3.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 5.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp.

The amnesiac assassin regains his memory, just as a CIA director sets in motion a plan to kill him. Spy thriller sequel, starring Matt Damon.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures. 10.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine. 11.00 Racing News (HD). 11.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 12.00 Premier League Years (S,HD). 4.00 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures. 5.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

Quantum of Solace, 9pm

How I Met Your â&#x20AC;Ś 7.30pm

Star-Crossed, 8pm

The Thin Blue Line, 8pm

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 19/40. Emily from Surrey takes part in the matchmaking contest.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. Howard returns from space.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 18/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 8/10. 6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4/8. Rodney joins a band.

6.00 Champions League Weekly (HD). 6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD).

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). /24.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Jason risks everything for Holly. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 15/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 8/22. Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Helper disappears. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 1/22.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/6. The Trotters help a damsel in distress.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Brighton & Hove Albion v Yeovil Town (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the Championship encounter at the Amex Stadium.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1/24. Sean Penn guest stars. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2/24. Alan discovers Judith has a new boyfriend.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/24. Barney thinks Robin is planning on throwing him a special rehearsal dinner. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/24.

8.00 Star-Crossed (S,HD). 4/13. Roman turns to Julia for help with his late fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mobile phone, making Emery jealous. Sophia joins the swimming team, but not everyone is impressed.

8.00 The Thin Blue Line (S). 2/7. An asylum-seeker arrives in Gasforth. 8.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 1/2. Festive special from 2004, starring Dawn French.

9.00 Quantum of Solace (S,HD) (2008). James Bond sets out on a personal mission of vengeance and uncovers a plan to cause a coup in a Latin American country. Thriller, with Daniel Craig. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 Snakes on a Plane 9.00 Modern Family (S,HD) (2006). An FBI (R,S,HD). 14/24. Claire agent escorts a witness and Phil spy on Luke and to the trial of a gangster, his friends. whose henchmen release 9.30 Modern Family 450 poisonous snakes (R,S,HD). 15/24. Phil, Jay during their flight. and Luke wage war Thriller, with Samuel L against the Thorpe Jackson and Jonathan family. Phillips. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.55 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 2/2. The villagers celebrate Geraldineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 40th birthday.

10.40 The Royle Family (S). 10.00 Intelligence (R,HD). 10.00 The Fantasy Football Festive comedy from 3/13. See Choices Above. Club (HD). John Fendley 2010. The couch-potato and Paul Merson present clan invite neighbours a discussion on key Joe and Cheryl over for fantasy football issues, as Christmas dinner â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but well as the weekendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s they do not bank on the Premier League matches. recently deceased Mary turning up too. 11.10 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 1/8. A pilot, an abseiler, an entrepreneur and a surfer take part.

11.55 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 11.10 8 Out of 10 Cats 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Premier League 10/13. A quirky review of (R,S,HD). 1/10. With Jack (R,S,HD). 6/24. A woman Preview (HD). A look The Real Extras and Dee, Steve Jones, David takes hostages at a Navy ahead to the weekendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Freaky Eaters. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Doherty and Jamelia. recruitment centre. fixtures. 11.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 12.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.15 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.40 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed: The Next Generation (R,S). A roundup of the best clips featuring children. 2.30 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 The Midnight Beast (R,S,HD). 12.45 The Work Experience (R,S,HD). 1.20 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 1.50 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.20 Balls of Steel Australia (R,S). 2.45 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S,HD). 3.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD).

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12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team searches for a group of terrorists. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency with Angela Griffin (R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.25 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. A comic look at Booze Britain. 12.55 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Quirky TV review. 1.20 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. Comic view of The Apprentice and Any Dream Will Do. 1.45 The Royle Family (S). The clan gathers for another uneventful Christmas Day. 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.00 Football Gold (S). 2.15 Football Gold (HD). 2.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 2.45 Football Gold (S,HD). 3.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 5.00 Football Gold (S). 5.15 Football Gold (S).

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 7.50 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 8.40 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel (R,S). 9.00 Teen Killers: Life Without Parole (R,S,HD). Inmates in the United States who received the maximum sentence as teenagers. 10.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Teen Killers: Life Without Parole (R,S,HD). 1.30 Dead Behind Bars (R,S,HD). 2.30 Sweat the Small Stuff (R,S,HD). 3.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 3.30 Killer Magic (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 BBC Young Musician of the Year 2014 (HD). Five teenage performers specialising in percussion compete to be crowned the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most talented classical musician, this week with a semi-final place at stake. 9.00 Sings Bacharach and David! (R). Archive performances of songs penned by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. 10.00 The Joy of Easy Listening (R). Documentary charting the history of the genre. 11.30 Neil Diamond: Solitary Man (R). 12.30 Neil Diamond: Radio 2 Electric Prom (R,HD). 1.35 Easy Listening Hits at the BBC (R). 2.35 Sings Bacharach and David! (R).

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Enjoy your home, enhance your lifestyle

A comfortable lounge area

One room, many uses A conservatory can offer you the space to relax, entertain or provide the additional room that a young family needs to grow. Designed to fit in with your lifestyle a conservatory can provide the additional space you are looking for - without the turmoil and expense of moving house. A refined dining room

Your local manufacturer and installer being the only company in the whole of the South West to hold four BRITISH KITEMARKS AND SECURED BY DESIGN Ourr ac Ou accr cred cr edit ed itat it atio at ions io ns are you our guar gu aran ar ante an teee of the qua te ualility ty and the he stan st anda an dard da rdss we ach chie ieve ie ve fro rom m co conc ncep nc ept ep to com ompl plet pl etio et ion io

A space for the whole family to enjoy

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A light and airy garden room

SHOWROOM Unit 6, Bridge Rd Ind Est, Bridge Rd, Kingswood, BS15 4TA TEL 0117 9061180 / 01225 738606 | FREEPHONE 0800 0133122 HOURS Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm. Sat 9am - 1pm EASTER OPENING HOURS Closed Bank Holiday Monday VISIT US ONLINE www.crwindows.co.uk