Weekend 19 December 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

in conversation

our playlist of the singles which made 2014

Ho, ho, ho! Christmas is here! But what are you going to do? Aside from the inevitable turkey dinner and TV, there’s plenty to do in Bristol over the next couple of weeks. Here are a few ideas to get you started. Merry Christmas from everyone here at Weekend – see you in 2015!

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42 I F Y O U N E E D A L A U G H

■ Superstar Python John Cleese brings his new show, featuring his early life in Bristol, to the Colston Hall

■ Legendary US saxophonist Pee Wee Ellis and Bristol’s funk ambassador James Morton join forces for an unmissable Fleece gig

■ These gluten free, low fat and vegan recipes will ensure all your Christmas guests can enjoy the festivities

JOHN CLEESE

FEELING HUNGRY? FOOD N ATION

■ All-you-can eat buffet Food Nation offers delicious dishes for a bargain price. When you are fed up of turkey, head here

IF YOU SEE ONE GIG PEE WEE ELLIS

GOING SHOPPING? SALES GUIDE

■ If you’re planning to hit the shops after Christmas, follow these top tips to make sure your money isn’t wasted on bad bargains

08 I F Y O U W A N T T O C O O K HEALTHY CHRISTMAS

FESTIVE FUN SPEIGELTENT

■ The Spiegeltent Masquerade Ball promises a night of red-hot revelry, carnival dancers, circus performers and live music. Simply brilliant

MAKE CONTACT EDITORIAL: Rachael Sugden, 0117 934 3338, rachael.sugden@b-nm.co.uk ADVERTISING: Daren Stainton, 0117 934 3769, daren.stainton@b-nm.co.uk LEAFLET INSERTS: Simon Butler, 0117 934 3741, simon.butler@b-nm.co.uk COVER ART: David Lewins Printed in Great Britain by Precision Colour Printing

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PLAN AHEAD NEW YEAR PARTIES

LOVE MUSIC? SONGS OF 2014

IF YOU LOVE FILMS BEST ON THE BOX

■ If you haven’t already, now’s the time to get tickets for parties on December 31 – we’ve picked a few events for you to consider

■We’ve picked our favourites from the last 12 months – and they’re all in a Spotify playlist for you to enjoy over Christmas

■ Get the family together and snuggle up on the sofa in front of one of these brilliant family films. Pass the popcorn!

54 I F Y O U ’ R E S T A Y I N G I N

■ Christmas is no longer Christmas without the lords, ladies and ladies’ maids of Downton Abbey on the TV

■ Deceptively simple to make yet undeniably impressive served in a grand glass bowl, your guests will be delighted with this pud

IF YOU SEE ONE FILM ANNIE

■ Based on the classic 1982 film, this modern musical stars Cameron Diaz as drunken foster mother Miss Hannigan

D OW N TO N A B B E Y

HAVING A PARTY? CHERRY TRIFLE

How to shop clever in the sales While we’re still in the throes of Christmas shopping for other people, it can be hard to see past that and into sale shopping for yourself, but it comes around sooner than you think and you need to be prepared!

Rachel Smith from John Lewis at The Mall

he January sales are the perfect opportunity to buy seasonal products, discover new brands and make your money stretch a little further. Clever sales shopping can help you get all set for 2015 by giving your home and your wardrobe a post-Christmas refresh. Weekend gathered some top tips for sales shopping from those in the know: Bethanie Manning, personal stylist at Oasis at The Mall at Cribbs Causeway offered the following tips for fashion hunters looking for a bargain this January: ■ Make a list: “It can be tempting to buy things you don’t really need in the sales, so before you leave the house compile a list of the items your wardrobe is missing and try to stick to that when you’re shopping. That way, you’re less likely to make a rash impulse buy that you’ll later regret.” ■ Make a statement: “The sales are a great place to pick up a statement coat at a fraction of the usual

4 BUY IT ● ● ● ● ●

cost. They’re a great investment as it will really dress up an evening outfit, but equally you can throw it over daywear for a more elegant look.” ■ Experiment with your style: “If there’s a colour or style you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t been brave enough to, the sale is the ideal time to do it at a fraction of the usual cost. If you’re not able to try it on there and then, check the store’s sale refund policy carefully before buying, just in case it isn’t quite your style.” ■ Look out for key trends: “An embellished tee is a fabulous investment piece this season as these were all over the catwalks for spring/summer. “Khaki is the key colour for spring 2015, so grab anything you can in this practical shade. “And grab a checked scarf in the sales if you can; these make great outfit builders and are a great cold weather essential. They’re also a perennial fashion favourite, so you’ll definitely get more wear out of them next winter.” ■ Gift it: “After Christmas you’ll probably be sick of buying presents, but the sales are actually a great place to pick up birthday gifts for the year ahead.”

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Leon Randall, store manager at House of Fraser Cabot Circus, has these top tips to make sure that you make the most of the discounts on offer: ■ Look through your wardrobe: “Before you hit the shops, take some time to look through your wardrobe and work out if there’s anything you need. What’s missing from your wardrobe? What items could help you create new outfits with what you already have?” ■ Focus on staple pieces: “The sales are a great opportunity for investment purchases that will stand the test of time. Buy simple styles and classic designs, as these can be worn season after season and are easily updated with on-trend accessories.” ■ Look ahead to the trends: “Keeping an eye on what will be on trend throughout spring/summer 2015 will ensure that you choose pieces that have longevity.” ■ Get there early: “Most of the best sales stock will be snapped up early, so if you have a particular item in mind, make sure you’re ahead of the crowd by getting there in good time.”

GROMIT GAMES FOR CHRISTMAS

Bethanie Manning, top, personal stylist at Oasis at The Mall, says checked scarves, like the one pictured left (£35, from Phase Eight), are a great fashion find

■ Use Buy and Collect: “If it’s impossible for you to get to the sales, think about buying online or using services such as House of Fraser’s Buy and Collect offer. You can order online at www.houseof fraser.co.uk and have your items delivered to your local store free of charge.” Rachel Smith, personal stylist at John Lewis at The Mall, Cribbs Causeway, gave us her failsafe tips for shopping in the January sales: ■ Plan ahead: “My top tip for shopping the sales is to plan ahead. Do some online research to find out all your different options; then make a wish list so you know exactly what you’re looking for and which shops and departments you need to visit during your shopping trip. You will instantly take a more focused approach, save time and avoid potential post-shopping guilt.” ■ Clearance: “Clearance is a great time to buy seasonal products, like coats, knitwear and partywear – we still have a few months of winter left after all. I always use clearance as an opportunity to seek out the perfect party dress for New Year’s Eve.”

■ Stick to the classics: “If you’re unsure what to buy in the sales, stick to the classics. Staple items such as a little black dress, leather boots and cashmere scarf are great investment pieces as they never go out of style. These timeless fashions will fit into any wardrobe and can be re-worn again and again. You can use this same approach when shopping for the home.” ■ Don’t get daunted: “With so many products on offer throughout the high street it can be easy to get overwhelmed by the sales. But there’s no need to be daunted and you can always ask for help. “For example, the team at John Lewis Cribbs Causeway are all experts in their fields and can help you find the product that is best for you. And if you are looking for some inspiration, you can book a one-to-one appointment with myself, or one of my personal stylist colleagues.” ■ Be open-mined: “Once you’ve snapped up the items on your wish list, have a browse around different shops and departments. Be open-minded – the brands on offer may surprise you and you might end up getting a great offer on something you never expected.”

wo family favourite games have been given a charity twist this Christmas by Wallace & Gromit’s Grand

Appeal. The charity has launched exclusive Gromit Unleashed versions of Monopoly and Top Trumps, which are flying off the shelves at The Gromit Unleashed shop at The Mall at Cribbs Causeway and online at wallaceand gromitcharityshop.org.uk. The popular games feature the Gromit Unleashed arts trail, which took place in Bristol last summer to raise funds for Bristol Children’s Hospital. The trail of 80 giant Gromit sculptures raised £2.3 million at auction, with more than £4.5million raised to date since then. Nicola Masters, director at the Grand Appeal, said: “The games make perfect Christmas gifts, with all kinds of customers including Gromit Unleashed fans, trail-goers and families snapping them up. “The games not only feature the Gromit Unleashed trail, but celebrate Bristol and can be enjoyed by everyone in the city and beyond.” Gromit Unleashed Monopoly is available at £29.95 and Top Trumps is a perfect stocking filler companion at £4.95 per pack. All funds raised by Gromit Unleashed continue to go towards the charity’s appeal to support Bristol Children’s Hospital and Special Care Baby Unit, one of the leading multi-disciplinary children’s hospitals in the UK. To find out more, visit www.gromitunleashed.org.uk.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

●●●●● BUY IT 5

WINTER SALE

Oak Bedside

£69

+extra 5% off

Double Wardrobe

£379

+extra 5% off

5 Drawer Chest

£279

Vienna Rustic Oak +extra 5% off

£99

Wardrobes

+extra 5% off

from

£369

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Double Bed

£299

£89

+extra 5% off

Oak Chair

£85

from

£339

+extra 5% off

Extending Tables from

£239

+extra 5% off

Oak Sideboards from

£199

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Oak Sideboards from

£219

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early bird offer

re Starts in stober 27th Decem th) (online from

+extra 5% off

Extending Tables

Nevada Light Oak

Westbury Painted With Oak Oak Top Bedside

Oak Chair

order in store by January 5th and get an

extra 5% off

December 2

branches

selected ranges*

Opposite Temple Meads Station | Bristol | BS1 6PL Free parking at rear | Tel: 0117 934 9200 | www.branchesofbristol.co.uk

©LW

Redland Rustic Oak

* Early Bird Offer guarantees an extra 5% off selected ranges when you buy in store. Only applies to new orders paid for in full on the day of purchase. Not available online. Offer ends 5:30pm January 5th 2015

6 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 7

www.bristolccg.nhs.uk

Alternative festive fare cooked with flare Those on special diets need not miss out at Christmas, as these sweet and savoury recipes confirm

hristmas is a time of plenty, but the wealth of food available can make it awkward for people following special diets, such as diabetics, vegetarians and vegans, those with allergies, or anyone struggling to keep calories to a minimum in an effort to lose weight. Temptation is everywhere, especially if you’re eating out, or as guests of friends and family, but if you’re cooking at home, it’s much easier to be careful. To help you make Christmas as tasty as possible, no matter what your food restrictions, we asked two Bristol cooks to come up with a selection of alternative sweet and savory festive-themed recipes. Barney McGrath is the proprietor and chef at the Maitreya Social bar and vegetarian restaurant in Easton. He’s suggested one for crispy polenta chips, which work well as an accompaniment or as party dipping food, and a sundried tomato and pistachio paté, which would make a festive starter. Clifton-based cook, marathon runner, mum and author, Kate Percy, has created a flour and butter-free cake and little bundles of energy that look like mini Christmas puddings. Surprise your friends with these amazingly delicious no-cook energy balls; they make a fab superfood alternative to mince pies. Rich in heart-friendly unsaturated fats, dietary fibre, vitamins and essential minerals such as potassium, the energy balls will revitalise the body and sustain you through your yuletide festivities – and they’re only 73 calories each! Based on the Tarta di Santiago, a traditional cake offered to pilgrims to welcome them to the Spanish town of Santiago di Compostella at the end of the arduous pilgrimage from France, this deliciously light cake has just three basic ingredients: almonds, sugar and eggs (no flour, or butter). Moist, gluten-free and light on the stomach, it’s rich in cholesterol-reducing, heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, vitamin E, and minerals such as copper, magnesium, manganese and phosphorous. Suffice to say, almonds are pretty good for you, too.

8 TRY IT ● ● ● ● ●

TARRAGON AND BLACK OLIVE POLENTA CHIPS ■ 300g coarse polenta ■ 1000ml veg stock ■ 100g pitted black olives, chopped ■ 100ml olive oil ■ 4 cloves garlic ■ Tarragon ■ Salt ■ Rapeseed oil for deep frying

from Friday, December 19, 2014

■ Gently heat the olive oil and garlic until the garlic softens, but not so much that it browns. Allow to cool. Blitz the olive oil and garlic in a food processor, add a couple of sprigs of tarragon and blitz that, too. Bring the stock to the boil in a large saucepan and add a good pinch of salt. Whisk the polenta into the hot stock as quickly as possible, not allowing any lumps to form. Lower the heat and fold the garlic, olive oil, tarragon and black olives through the polenta until it is all well combined. Spread the polenta to approximately 1cm thick on to a greased baking tray and chill in the fridge. Once the polenta is cool and set, heat the rapeseed oil in a heavy based saucepan to approximately 170C (or until a piece of bread browns in the oil in about 30 seconds). Turn the polenta out on to a board and chop to desired lengths then fry in batches until golden all over. Season with a little salt and serve immediately as a side dish, or with dips as a party snack.

SPANISH ALMOND AND ORANGE CAKE ■ 4 large, free range eggs, separated ■ Zest of 1 large orange ■ 225g caster sugar ■ 225g ground almonds ■ ½ tsp cinnamon ■ 1 tbsp freshly squeezed orange juice ■ Icing sugar to decorate

■ Preheat the oven to 180C/gas mark 4. Lightly grease a 23cm springform cake tin with butter. Whisk the egg whites to soft peak stage with an electric whisk. Put the egg yolks, orange zest and sugar into a separate bowl and whisk until pale and creamy. Stir in the almonds, the cinnamon and the orange juice. Fold in the egg whites, a little at a time. Pour the mixture into the cake tin and cook in the oven for about 30–35 minutes, until golden. If you poke a skewer into the middle of the cake, it should come out clean. Cool in the tin, on a wire rack. When cool, decorate with icing sugar. Enjoy with a dollop of natural yoghurt or crème fraiche.

SUN-DRIED TOMATO, BUTTERBEAN AND PISTACHIO PATÉ

■ 500g pistachio kernels ■ 400g cooked butterbeans ■ 200g sun-dried tomatoes ■ 100g ground almonds ■ 1 red onion ■ Garlic ■ 2 large sprigs rosemary ■ 4 large sprigs thyme ■ Basil ■ Balsamic vinegar ■ Smoked paprika ■ Olive oil or cooking

CHRISTMAS ENERGY BALLS ■ To make 15-20 balls ■ 40g walnuts or pecan nuts ■ 120g dates ■ 160g gluten-free or vegan mincemeat ■ 80g gluten-free porridge oats ■ 1 tsp mixed spice ■ 25g ground almonds ■ Zest of one orange, finely grated ■ 2 tsp coconut oil ■ 100g icing sugar ■ Juice of ½ lime

■ Recipes courtesy of Kate Percy and Barney McGrath. ■ For more deliciously nutritious recipes from Kate’s Go Faster Food, check out her “festive book bundle” for a free #GoFaster apron with your book on www.gofasterfood.com. ■ Barney’s Maitreya Social restaurant is at 89 St Mark’s Road, Easton, BS5 6HY. Tel: 0117 951 0100; www.cafe maitreya.co.uk.

■ Place the nuts in a food processor and blitz until roughly chopped. Add the dates and blitz again, until the mixture starts to stick together. Add the mincemeat, porridge oats, mixed spice, ground almonds, orange zest and the coconut oil and blitz again, very briefly, until combined. Roll into small balls in the palm of your hands, about 1 ½ cm in diameter. Pour the icing sugar into a clean bowl and beat in the lime juice until smooth. Spoon the icing over the energy balls and decorate with your favourite Christmas decorations.

■ Preheat the oven to 180C. Sprinkle the pistachios with enough olive oil and smoked paprika to lightly coat them then season with a pinch of salt. Lay the pistachios on a baking tray and roast in the oven for about seven minutes until they are lightly toasted. Pour enough boiling water over the sun-dried tomatoes to cover them and then set them aside to soak for 30mins. Finely dice the onion. Heat two tablespoons of olive oil in a heavy-based pan over a moderate heat and add the onion. Allow it to cook slowly over a low heat, without it colouring too much. Mince five cloves of garlic and add them to the onion along with the fresh rosemary and thyme, stripped from their stems and finely chopped. Season with a little salt and pepper. When the onion mix is well caramelised and is just catching in the pan, add two tablespoons of balsamic vinegar. Stir the mix on the heat for a minute or so and allow the vinegar be absorbed then remove from the heat. Strain the sun-dried tomatoes. Now place the tomatoes, butterbeans, a handful of fresh basil leaves and the onion mixture in a food processor and blitz to a rough puree. Remove this mix from the food processor and set aside. Again in the food processor, roughly blitz 100g of the pistachio nuts and set aside. Next, blitz the remaining 400g of pistachios as finely as possible. Combine all the ingredients and mix thoroughly. You should be left with a very stiff mixture. If it seems too wet, add some more ground almonds although be aware the pate will set a little more when chilled. Finally, press the pate into a pate or terrine mould, cover and leave to chill in the fridge for a couple of hours. If you don’t have a mould, you can set the pate in a bowl, or jar, or simply wrapped up in clingfilm. Serve with a good chutney and sourdough toast.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

●●●●● TRY IT 9

Make plans for New Year parties

You need to plan ahead if you want to join the party on New Year’s Eve. Here are a few of the best events in Bristol on December 31

know Christmas isn’t done and dusted yet, but if you leave it until Boxing Day to decide how you’re going to see out 2014, you may find the tickets for your chosen event are all gone. Even if you can’t get into your number one choice, there is plenty happening in Bristol on December 31, and here are some ideas to get you started. One of the biggest events in the city will be taking place at the Colston Hall, where the whole venue will be moving to a swing beat. Bristol has a very active swing dance scene, and on December 31 the sounds and styles of this fun dance will be taking over the venue. The Lantern will be turned into a “Maison Paradiso” cocktail bar, and there will be bands playing in the foyer as well as in the main

10 DO IT ● ● ● ● ●

auditorium. And if you’ve never tried swing, never fear, there will be lessons for beginners on the night, and the “scene” is known for its friendly nature. Tickets range from £21 to £30. At Motion, The Blast will bring 2014 to a close with a bumper double event, with some of the biggest names in drum and bass in the main warehouse, and a Black Butter showcase in the second warehouse. Much of the line-up is still to be announced, but Camo & Krooked, TC, Dillinja and Zed Bias are already on the bill. Tickets start at £25 and go up to £35. The South Bank Centre (Dean Lane) is promising the “friendliest party in town” on New Year’s Eve, with live bands, DJs, a cabaret, late bar and circus shows.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Gloucester Road’s Royal Oak pub is holding a New Year’s Eve party with a fancy dress theme of superheroes. You can pay £25 for a party ticket, including dinner, or just pay to be part of the evening. One of the most popular parties south of the river is at the Tobacco Factory and this year the theme is “Vaudeville Circus Ball”, so come dressed accordingly. Plenty of the tickets (£30) have been sold already, so be quick if you want to get involved in an evening of circus tricks and big top talent from the performers of Cirque Bijou, plus live music, DJs and sideshow attractions. ■ If you have a New Year’s Eve event you’d like to promote, contact Steve Mellen at steve.mellen @b-nm.co.uk before Tuesday, December 23.

Gothic mansion embraces festive magic As the Christmas holidays get under way, you may want to do little more than snuggle up indoors in front of the TV. But before cabin fever sets in, Heather Pickstock has a great idea for a day out this weekend: Tyntesfield

he best-loved themes and traditions of the festive season are being brought to life at Wraxall’s Tyntesfield Estate this Christmas. With its extraordinary Victorian gothic architecture, visitors to the sprawling National Trust estate are being invited to immerse themselves in magical music, festive food and an array of activities this Yuletide. Until December 21, experience a Christmas-themed welcome in the house and chapel. Visitors can enjoy wandering around the Victorian property, expertly decorated by Sarah Pepper, to see the stockings hanging from the fire and the tree lights twinkling. Last admission to the house is an hour before closing, but the last tickets (from the ticket office) are sold 75 minutes before closing. A winter trail is being run on the estate throughout December to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. Solve clues to discover 12 objects around the estate and put the age-old festive song back together. The trail costs £2.50 per person and runs from 10am to 3pm. Winter Star parties – offering the best in star gazing – are also being held until December 21, from 7.30pm to 9.30pm, organised by the Bristol Astronomical Society. And no visit would be complete without the chance to meet Father Christmas, who is

waiting in his magical grotto ready to take present requests from children. The grotto is open on December 20 and 21 from 11am to 2pm. Entry is £6 for children, which includes a gift. Booking to see Santa is essential and can be done by calling 01275 461900, or emailing tyntesfield@nationaltrust.org.uk. Music also features heavily in the Christmas programme at Tyntesfield. The Bristol Male Voice Choir will be performing on December 20 at 4pm and 6.30pm. The choir, founded in 1968, is one of the largest male choirs in the area and has raised thousands of pounds for charity over the last four decades. Tickets for the concert are £15 for children and £20 for adults. Community singing group, The Owls of Pill, which is celebrating its 95th anniversary this year, will also be arriving at Tyntesfield on December 19, at 6.30pm, garbed in Dickensian costume. Tickets for the Owls’ concert are £15 for adults and £10 for children. The estate can also be seen at its best in the

evenings this winter, with a Tyntesfield All A-Glow event on December 19 and 20. Visitors can follow the lit paths around the estate and take in the beautiful illuminated Gothic façade and stained glass windows. There is also a guided tour around the house and the chance to warm up with a mince pie and a sing-a-long in the stable yard. For those wanting to keep in trim ahead of indulging in Christmas treats, there is also the Tyntesfield Night Run on December 20 around the estate. There are two courses for all abilities along paths, trails, grass and Tarmac. The run starts at 5pm (registration from 4pm) and entry is £15 for adults and £10 for children aged between 12 and 16. The Trust has also opened up its formal gardens to dogs and their owners until February 28. ■ For further details on what’s on at Tyntesfield, call 01275 461900, or visit www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ tyntesfield.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

●●●●● DO IT 11

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12 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

New opening Delicious buffet is a bargain

ith buffetstyle behemoths like Za Za Bazaar and Cosmo still packing them in, Bristol restaurant goers are no strangers to the popular “eat as much as you like” dining concept. The newly opened Food Nation may be smaller than its contemporaries, but it takes the multi-cuisine buffet to another level by specialising in traditional Keralan dishes, and also by using charcoal grills to cook the food at your table. Food Nation is the brainchild of Josson Lukose, Dennis Daniel and “Happy” Matthew – three ambitious hotel management graduates who had seen a similar “live cooking” concept in India and Singapore and decided to bring it back to the UK. A deep room with Keralan scenes on the warm orange walls, there is a self-serve area at the far end with a table packed with lidded buffet containers heated by flames. The buffet area is for the main courses, but before that there is a soup of the day served on the table – on this occasion it was a spicy, coriander-heavy chicken and sweetcorn soup – and then the grilled starters. The owners sourced the tables from Mumbai and each one has a large hole in the middle which is filled with a small charcoal-fuelled barbecue grill, brought to the table by waitresses wearing heatproof oven gloves.

The staff then bring out ten sizzling skewers – five vegetarian, five non-vegetarian – which finish cooking on the grill, smoking and spitting in front of you as you baste them with three different sauces. These skewers are unlimited and just keep on coming out from the kitchen until you decide you’ve had enough, at which point you dip the note sticking out of the carved wooden elephant figurine on your table. It might all sound a bit off-the-wall, but it really works and the starters were very good – particularly the spicy “coastal barbecue” prawns, the chicken tikka and the paneer with red and yellow peppers. Starters finished, I wandered over to the buffet, where there were a dozen or so different main courses, again unlimited and all included in the £14.99 price. Most of the main courses were Keralan, although a couple were Thai. Stand-out dishes were an exemplary chicken biryani, a comforting chana dal and an aromatic lamb malabar. And just when I thought the meal might come to a close, the waitress brought out a lacy, fluffy masala dosa with sambar and coconut chutney and a basket of freshly made naan breads. Feeling considerably heavier than when I had arrived an hour earlier, I finished with a bowl of refreshing and light homemade coconut ice cream before waving the napkin of surrender.

FOOD NATION 185 Gloucester Road, Bishopston, Bristol, BS7 8BG. Tel: 0117 942 2322.

VERDICT I had eaten as much food as some people eat in a week and the total price excluding drinks was just under £15. If that isn’t a bargain, I don’t know what is.

Food ★★★★✩ Service ★★★★✩ Ambience ★★★✩✩

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

Delight your guests with cherry trifle

ith two shops in London, upmarket food shop Melrose and Morgan has ten years’ experience as a high street grocer. The new book is a grocer’s guide in which authors (and the shop’s co-owners) Ian James and Nicholas Selby share expert information to help us buy the best food, so there will always be good things to eat at home. Good Food For Your Table is a shopping basket deconstructed and it includes all you need to know about seasonality, provenance, storage, preserving and serving the very best food. A well-stocked larder is the backbone of any kitchen, and this book is a compendium of advice on the best ingredients to buy and how to manage your kitchen cupboard to ensure nothing goes to waste. It also includes a section of favourite recipes and simple, quick ideas to rustle up a meal using kitchen cupboard staples such as pasta and noodles; pulses and grains; spices; nuts and seeds; chocolate and coffee. If you’ve ever found yourself confused about the difference between mixed spice and allspice, Stilton and Stichelton, quinoa and couscous, then this is the book for you. We all want to be more knowledgeable about the food we eat, and this is the essential store-cupboard handbook that no discerning home cook should be without. “This is a guide to ingredients, how to source and how to store, what to buy and when,” says Ian James. “It’s also about how to make sure your kitchen cupboards are well stocked with useful

food so you can always rustle up something good to eat, recipes that allow you to use just a few store-cupboard essentials to create a nourishing meal, or help you preserve what’s bountiful today for the shorter days ahead.” Serving a trifle at a supper party is guaranteed to bring a gasp of delight from at least one guest. Choose a glass serving bowl for maximum effect and serve in little bowls, allowing room for second helpings.

COFFEE AND SOUR CHERRY TRIFLE SERVES 8 ■ 100g sour morello cherries ■ 50ml dark rum ■ 30g dark chocolate ■ 40g whole almonds (skin on) ■ 175g trifle sponge ■ 5 leaves of gelatine ■ 125g demerara sugar ■ 600ml strong coffee (or 6 tbsp of instant coffee dissolved in 600ml of hot water) ■ 300ml real vanilla custard, cooled ■ 200ml double cream

Good Food For Your Table: A Grocer’s Guide by Melrose and Morgan is published by Saltyard Books, £25.

oak the cherries in the rum for a few hours, or overnight. Shave the chocolate, or chop it into shards. Preheat the oven to 140C/275F/gas mark 1. Spread the almonds on a baking tray and roast for 20 minutes. Cool, then chop. Cut the sponge into small cubes and scatter into a glass serving bowl. Soak the gelatine in a small bowl of cold water for about five minutes. Heat a small saucepan and dissolve the sugar in the coffee. Remove from the heat. Squeeze the excess water from the gelatine and whisk the softened leaves into the hot coffee until dissolved. Scatter the sponge with the rum-soaked cherries and pour over the coffee. Allow to set in the fridge. Cover with the cold custard. Softly whip the cream. Paddle the cream over the custard and scatter with the chocolate and almonds.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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Pre-theatre dinner: Good value pizza and pasta

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CIAO 5 Denmark Street, Bristol, BS1 5DQ. Tel: 0117 927 9516.

VERDICT Ciao doesn’t break new ground when it comes to Italian restaurants, but the food is enjoyable, good value and it’s an ideal pre-theatre venue.

Food ★★★✩✩ Service ★★★✩✩ Ambience ★★★✩✩ 16 EAT IT ● ● ● ● ●

andwiched between a sauna and a curry house, opposite the stage door of The Hippodrome, Ciao wouldn’t look out of place in the heart of Soho, but then Denmark Street has always reminded me of London’s West End, with its seedy alleyways and flashing neon signs. This is the central Bristol branch of a three-restaurant chain run by Albanian-born Leonard Vladi and his family. The other two restaurants are in Westbury-on-Trym and Stoke Bishop, with more openings planned. With around 30 covers, Ciao is cosy and simply decorated, with pale yellow walls – one with a huge colour picture depicting a typical Venetian canal scene – and, rather bizarrely, dozens of international bank notes pinned to office display boards. Above the archway that separates the front dining area and the small bar, there is a line of raffia-covered Chianti bottles hanging from the ceiling. It’s all very relaxed and unpretentious, which suits the broad range of customers, many of them families heading across the road to The Hippodrome (look out for regular special lunch and early dinner deals aimed at theatregoers). The owner may be Albanian, but he grew up in Italy and the menu here is pretty much all Italian apart from the omelette and chips (although there is also an Italian frittata of onions, mushrooms, peppers and cheese).

from Friday, December 19, 2014

There are 16 different pasta and risotto options and many of these are £2 or £3 less at lunchtimes (Monday to Thursday), or if you take them away. Prices are reasonable, starting at £6.90 for pasta al pomodoro (slow-cooked onion, oregano and tomato sauce) and topping out at £13.95 for the seafood risotto (the takeaway or mid-week lunch price for that dish is a bargainous £9.20). The takeaway and lunch offer also applies to the dozen or so pizza choices, normally priced from £7.50 for a Margherita to £9.90 for the Marinara seafood. I started with funghi all’aglio (£4.50), a pretty standard Italian staple of chopped mushrooms coated in a pungent garlic butter. This was followed by the signature Ciao pizza (£9.50) with its thin, crisp, blistered base and a generous carpet of tomato sauce, pieces of chicken, black olives, spicy pepperoni and melting mozzarella cheese. It was served with small tumblers of garlic oil and chilli oil for extra drizzling, which was a nice touch. Desserts are supplied by the Italian ice cream company Bindi and are aimed as much at children as grown-ups. I didn’t fancy the Harry Hippo or Percy Panda novelty ice creams and plumped instead for the coppa pistachio e crema (£4.95) – a chocolate and pistachio gelato with crushed pistachio praline. Served in a decorative, lidded pot, it had the lightness of Indian-style kulfi.

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PUB OF THE WEEK THE CHRISTMAS STEPS

ith warming glasses of mulled cider and foaming pints of Christmas Steps ale (brewed exclusively by local brewery Arbor Ales), not to mention the newly-installed wood burner, this appropriately named pub certainly ticks all the right boxes when it comes to a cosy setting for a festive drink in the run up to the big day. Formerly the Three Sugar Loaves, this Georgian pub at the bottom of Christmas Steps reopened with its new name in May and it’s a collaboration between Dave Smeaton (The Spotted Cow, Big Chill Bar) and the publishers of Bristol-based music magazine, Crack. Dating back to the 1600s, the pub was taken back to its original stone walls and beams during an extensive renovation and it looks and feels more spacious and lighter than before. In the 17th century, the building was used as a sugar refinery and the original fire used to turn the raw sugar cane into sugar can still be glimpsed behind the bar, although these days it’s used to store some of the pub’s many bottles of spirits. As well as the Christmas Steps ale, the pub is also well stocked with porters and dark winter ales, all from South West craft breweries, and a carefully considered range of artisan farmhouse ciders from celebrated cider makers

such as Hecks and Wilkins. Other real ales on offer included three from Arbor – Oz Bomb, Motueka and Transpacific Pale Ale – and also Box Steam Golden Bolt and Siren Driftwood. When we visited early on a Friday evening, there was standing room only, with every table taken and people also sitting outside despite the chilly weather. Being co-owned by a music magazine means the musical policy here is impeccable, although it was almost drowned out by the rising levels of conversation. On the menu, there was a range of seasonal, comfort dishes, including roasted parsnip soup with Somerset honey; pan-roast duck breast with pearl barley and baby leaves; cider braised pork belly with colcannon mash, black pudding and pork jus, and traditional pork sausages and mash with buttered greens and gravy. The pub recently recruited new chef Damien Ryder, who previously worked at a number of Bristol restaurants, including Deason’s. Ryder will be launching a new menu after Christmas, which promises to be well worth returning for in the new year. ■ 2 Christmas Steps, Bristol, BS1 5BS. Tel: 0117 929 2242.

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

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Leave the golfers to their balls and brush up on beauty instead Although best known as a golfing resort, St Peirre Hotel near Chepstow has a spa and beauty salon too. Kate Edser enjoyed a “first class” massage

ot being a worshipper of the little white ball, I find golfers and their garish garb somewhat amusing. So the corner of my mouth beings to twitch the moment I turn off the A48 on to the tree-lined driveway leading to St Pierre Hotel and Country Club near Chepstow. It’s difficult to focus on the Tarmac ahead while the 400 acres of pristine grassland all around teems with so many colourful scuttling figures, like Liquorice Allsorts on legs. They are soon forgotten, however, as we arrive at the beautiful main entrance – under an ancient stone arch, with a church (circa 1065) to one side and converted stables fringing a neat circular lawn on the other. The oldest parts of the building date from the 16th century, when it was a private house and, in keeping with the historic feel, the reception has an old-fashioned appeal, with deep (though rather bright) carpets, nests of comfy chairs and lots of dark wood panelling – a theme of deep reds, greens and browns that continues into the little tucked-away quiet lounges, and on into the main restaurant, Morgans, of which more later. It wasn’t until the early Sixties that this place was opened as a golfing hotel and there are now two championship courses at St Pierre, but we are here to sample the spa, which is in one of the sprawling modern additions. Under a high, wooden, atrium-style roof, the pool area is glazed on one side, giving a great view of the grounds and its magnificent trees, but it’s devoid of adornment; no plants, no waterthemed sculpture or images of any kind soften the uniform tiling. There are loungers in front of the tall windows, but it’s a Saturday, the hotel is full, and the pools (there is a baby pool, too) are busy with families, so it’s not a peaceful place to relax. Instead we retreat to the steam room. It’s autumn and it’s good to feel the warmth here, and from the sauna and hot tub. The large changing room shows the hotel’s family-friendly ethos, with its playpens and nappy bins, but everything here is beige or brown, with a few fake flowers providing the only sense of femininity or colour. On the plus side, it’s clean, the powerful showers are hot and there are complementary toiletries, ample hairdryers and acres of lockers that don’t require a £1 coin. To reach the changing room, one must travel from the small health club reception through the large gym, up a staircase and along a windowless corridor. A similar corridor, this one finished with garish blue non-slip matting, connects the changing room to the pool. It’s all very inelegant and disjointed. Similarly, the health and beauty salon is also separated from the spa, but what is lacking in aesthetics and finesse was all forgotten the moment we were shown to the salon’s

18 DO IT ● ● ● ● ●

relaxation room – a dimly lit, peaceful haven. Six comfortable armchairs, each supplied with a blanket and cushion, surround a coffee table groaning under the weight of a fruit bowl and a stack of glossy magazines. On a sideboard is chilled water and herbal teas. My full-body massage is quite amazing in terms of undoing knots and relieving tension – right up there with the best. Great care is taken to ensure I’m warm enough, the pressure is to my liking and that it is focussed in the right areas. Attention to detail, skill and professionalism are all first class and the effects long-lasting. My friend reports back similarly on her hot stone massage. Though St Pierre is less than 20 miles from the centre of Bristol, it’s probably an Old Severn Bridge toll too far for just the one treatment, but there are several pamper packages on offer, which include the use of the spa

from Friday, December 19, 2014

and fitness facilities, and help to make the journey worthwhile. Or else, make a mini-break of it and stay overnight. But you might want to avoid busy weekends! Besides Morgans, there are two choices for eating – the informal Zest restaurant (open all day) and the casual Trophy bar (just off the 18th green and with a popular terrace). Morgans’ cuisine is English and cooked where possible with local ingredients, such as Caerphilly cheese and leeks used in the croquettes I order to start. Though a generous portion and beautifully crisp, the potato lacks seasoning and the advertised redcurrant jelly, though very good, couldn’t fill a teaspoon. Redemption comes in the form of an 8oz sirloin steak, which is tender, tasty and cooked to perfection. To finish, lemon and ginger posset is as creamy and tangy as it can be. After dinner, we manage to waddle back to our room, which is spotless, comfortable and well equipped. We wake to a bright morning and open the curtain to a lovely vista of the golf course, the sunshine catching the trees wearing their autumn best – the green, yellow and gold contrasting mercilessly with the scarlet, back and white diamond-patterned trousers of one of those mobile Liquorice Allsorts. Far too loud for a Sunday morning.

FACTFILE ■ Dinner, bed and breakfast costs from £155. A full body massage is £54 and a hot stone massage is £70. Spa packages cost from £45 (cream tea and one 25-minute treatment) to £155 (light lunch, facial, full body massage and a manicure/pedicure). St Pierre Hotel & Country Club (postcode NP16 6YA) is part of the Marriott chain. For more information, see www.marriott.co.uk.

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Music writer Mark Taylor has compiled a list of 40 tracks which summarise the sound of 2014. Here they are, in no particular order. We’ve also put them together in a playlist on Spotify for you. You’re welcome. Find the link at www.bristolpost.co.uk

20 HEAR IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, December 19, 2014

SEASONS (WAITING ON YOU) FUTURE ISLANDS

CLOSER RAE MORRIS

■ Taken from Singles, one of the stand-out albums of the year, Baltimore art-rockers Future Islands finally broke through into the mainstream with Seasons (Waiting on You), a surging, bittersweet love song with Samuel T Herring’s muscular vocals complemented by a searing melody and vigorous dance-pop backdrop.

■ All eyes are on Blackpool singer Rae Morris, who releases her debut album next month and plays a Bristol gig at the Thekla on Valentine’s Day. With its unashamedly poppy chorus and chunky Eighties beats, Closer is one of Morris’s more danceable songs and the purity of her vocals is proof enough that 2015 will be a big year for her.

PRETTY DJ THE JACQUES

HOLD BACK THE RIVER JAMES BAY

■ Tipped by many pop pickers as a band to watch in 2015, Bristol four-piece The Jacques comprise two sets of brothers, aged between 16 and 21, who are still at college in the city. Already championed by Huey Morgan on 6 Music and the NME, Pretty DJ has the cheeky cockney charm of the Libertines, the energy of the Arctic Monkeys and the swagger of early Strokes. Look out for the video filmed in The Lanes bowling alley in Nelson Street

■ With his boyish good looks, long hair and raffish trilby, James Bay looks as much a Hollywood movie star as he does a singer-songwriter from Hertfordshire. His folksy style will inevitably see him compared to singers like Tom Odell and Ben Howard, but his stunning vocals and the anthemic chorus of Hold Back The River prove that he’s a worthy successor to their crown.

MY SILVER LINING FIRST AID KIT

ZOMBIE JAMIE T

■ Swedish sisters Johanna and Klara Soderberg have perfected their own brand of folk-tinged Americana. The vibrant, dusty desert harmonies and minor keys of My Silver Lining may sound uplifting but there’s a darker, sadder undercurrent more akin to grizzled old-school country singers.

■ Taken from Carry on The Grudge – his first album for five years – Jamie T is well and truly back on form with this homage to The Clash and other bands of the era. An upbeat punk singalong that’s just crying out to be pogoed to, Zombie will appeal to fans of Libertines and The Beatles alike.

TOUCH THE LEATHER FAT WHITE FAMILY

GIMME SOMETHING GOOD RYAN ADAMS

■ A new name to many, Fat White Family are hotly-tipped for 2015 and one of the UK’s most talked about new bands. With its primal drums, fuzzy guitars, creeping bassline and Iggy Pop-meets-Captain Beefheart vocals, Touch The Leather is a deliciously sleazy slice of psychobilly punk blues.

■ Ryan Adams has been responsible for countless Americana rock classics and this one is up there with his finest thanks to its retro Tom Petty-style riffs and swirling organ.

SPIT THREE TIMES NENEH CHERRY

STAY WITH ME SAM SMITH

■ Taken from Neneh Cherry’s return-to-form album, Blank Project – her first for almost two decades – Spit Three Times may be darker than the Buffalo Stance Eighties pop with which she made her name but it’s a characteristically sassy, soulful mix of throbbing beats, loops and Kraftwerk-style synths, and her voice has rarely sounded better.

■ Taken from his album In The Lonely Hour, British singer Sam Smith pulls out all the stops on Stay With Me, a slow-burning soul song that wouldn’t be out of place on a Sixties Motown compilation. Pianos, swirling organ and even a gospel choir create a powerful backing to one of the biggest-selling records of 2014.

VIOLENT SHIVER BENJAMIN BOOKER

BORED IN THE USA FATHER JOHN MISTY

■ As anybody who managed to squeeze into Bristol’s Louisiana to see him recently will testify, this young New Orleans bluesman is hot property and Violent Shiver is a maelstrom of White Stripes-like drums and grizzled vocals. Imagine Chuck Berry fronting The Strokes and you’re halfway there.

■ When he sings and plays the piano, Josh Tillman – alias Father John Misty – sounds uncannily like Seventies singer-songwriter Harry Nilsson but he’s more than that. The tongue-in-cheek subject matter of Bored in the USA is a wry look at debt, sub-prime loans and other ills of modern American society.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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TRAINWRECK 1979 DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979

THE HUNTER SLAVES

■ Back after a decade away, Canadian dance-punk duo Death From Above 1979 returned in 2014 with new album The Physical World and a triumphant appearance at Bristol’s Simple Things festival. More rock and roll than their trademark dancefloor fillers, Trainwreck 1979 is a hurtling freight train packed with fuzzy, pounding guitars and distorted vocals.

■ Dirty, angry guitars and lyrics sung through clenched teeth, Kent garage punk duo Slaves make Arctic Monkeys look like a bunch of kittens on The Hunter. With estuary vocals that range from Ian Dury to Jimmy Pursey, this is the fresh and vital sound of punk 2014-style. Don’t miss them on the NME Awards tour at Bristol 02 Academy in March.

CHANGING SIGMA FEAT. PALOMA FAITH

BUDAPEST GEORGE EZRA

■ Paloma Faith’s star is still firmly in the ascendant, as this chart-topping collaboration with Sigma confirms with its soaring vocals, sweeping strings and gospel touches, all wrapped up with Faith’s usual infectious exuberance.

■ A slow burner but a good showcase for the rich, deep voice of the man who has gone from busking at the Gallimaufry on Gloucester Road to sell-out UK shows. His forthcoming Colston Hall gig sold out in minutes.

SO OH THE CHARLATAN S

ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS PALOMA FAITH

■ A delicious taste of what’s to come on the soon-to-be-released Modern Nature, the band’s first album since the death of founding member Jon Brookes, So Oh is mellow, chilled, sun-dappled and a timely reminder that The Charlatans are still relevant after more than a quarter of a century.

■ A bittersweet ditty about the one certainty in life (aside from death and taxes): that romance will kick us all in the nether regions at some point. There are very few female singers about with her vocal range.

COUNTING STARS ONEREPUBLIC

SUMMER CALVIN HARRIS

■ They never wanted to be seen as a boy band, you know. If there was a catchier tune released all year we haven’t heard it, as the boys get all deep and meaningful on us.

■ Lyrically not the strongest song released this year but the synth-heavy chorus made it a must for those who like driving round with the top down.

HOT DREAMS TIMBER TIMBRE

I’M N OT PART OF ME CLOUD N OTHINGS

■ The title track from Canadian band Timber Timbre’s fifth album, Hot Dreams sees Taylor Kirk and Simon Trottier bring things down real slow for some seductive, soulful lounge pop, which at times slides effortlessly into Isaac Hayes and Curtis Mayfield territory and even boasts a dash of late-period Elvis.

■ Break-up songs are rarely as catchy as this powerful, anthemic track from Cloud Nothing’s third album. Dylan Baldi’s heartfelt lyrics are driven by a full-on guitar assault and tight-as-a-drum rhythm section. The perfect noisy indie guitar antidote for anybody tired of posh boys playing folk-pop.

NEW YORK MORNING ELBOW

FAKE FUR COAT TWEEDY

■ The usual gradual, gentle Elbow subtlety building to a climax few bands can match. Went down a storm at Glastonbury. “A modern Rome where folk are nice to Yoko,” croons Guy Garvey.

■ A stand-out track from Sukierae, the new album recorded by Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy and his son, Spencer, this is a peerless piece of timeless back porch Americana courtesy of Tweedy’s simple acoustic guitar and Dylanesque vocals

SOMETHING FROM N OTHING FOO FIGHTERS

LET IT GO IDINA MENZEL (FROZEN)

■ It might not match the heights or the impact of previous songs but after teasing their fans all year, the Foos finally quenched their thirst for new material in November.

■ Parents might be sick of hearing the gentle saccharin tune that accompanied the Disney smash hit but you can’t argue with its longevity. It’s like Bryan Adams, with more frost.

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

There are very few ❝ female singers about

with her vocal range.

Paloma Faith

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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SING ED SHEERAN

FIGURE IT OUT ROYAL BLOOD

■ Collaborating with Pharrell? Not bad for a boy from Suffolk. An upbeat and, dare we say it, funky little number from Sheeran, with some help from his superstar duet partner.

■ Brighton’s dynamic duo with one of those songs best left alone if you’re hungover but excellent for working yourself into a frenzy ahead of the weekly five-a-side match.

LUNA BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB

ALL ABOUT THAT BASS MEGHAN TRAINOR

■ Taken off the So Long See You Tomorrow album, it ushered the then little-known Rae Morris into the public consciousness. A band that has matured over their career and whose material just gets better.

■ One of 2014’s biggest earworms, this was one of the tracks in the running to be the song of the summer. As successful as it is annoyingly catchy, it also doubles as a public service announcement about reinforcing positive body image.

REAL LOVE CLEAN BANDIT & JESS GLYNNE

POSSESSED EAGULLS

■ What do you get when you mix an American band known for their love of classical music and pop with one of Britain’s best new female singers? The answer is this pulsating piece of classic house-tinged pop.

■ With distorted, wailing guitars reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine, Leeds punk rockers Eagulls have drawn comparisons with plenty of noisy shoegaze and punk bands of the late 1980s but they also have the swagger of The Clash.

LEFT HAND FREE ALT-J

SLOW MOTION PHOX

■ It might sound a major departure for the experimental Leeds indie band best known for top ten hits like Matilda and Every Other Freckle, but this meaty blues-rock drivetime crowd-pleaser was a brave move and it has already brought Alt-J to a wider audience.

■ The lead single from this Wisconsin band’s self-titled debut album, Slow Motion is packed with foot-stomping whistling, finger-picking banjo and sweet clarinet, but it’s Monica Martin’s mesmerising Sade-esque soul vocals that takes this intoxicating musical cocktail to another level.

CAN’T DO WITHOUT YOU CARIBOU

LAZARETTO JACK WHITE

■ Repetitive vocal samples, trance-like synths and multi-layered beats, this song builds and builds until it worms its way inside your head and you’ll be humming it in no time. A huge dancefloor hit, this was one of the sounds of the summer and rightly so.

■ The title track from his second post-White Stripes solo album, Jack White returned with a bang on Lazaretto. With its squealing guitar solos and pounding rhythms, this incendiary track demonstrated that White has no intention of growing old gracefully.

RED EYES WAR ON DRUGS

HEART AND SOUL TWIN ATLANTIC

■ With its soaring synthesisers, pianos, acoustic guitars and Adam Granduciel’s wide vocal range, Red Eyes tips its hat at mid-Seventies Fleetwood Mac and Tom Petty, whilst being reminiscent of pre-stadium Springsteen and even Arcade Fire. One of the best driving songs of the year.

■ With their beards and Dr Marten boots, Glasgow indie rockers Twin Atlantic have the modish look to match their angsty power-pop and Heart and Soul – taken from hit album Great Divide – is the sort of anthemic crowd-rouser that’s tailor-made to fill arenas.

FALLOUT CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN

EVERY TIME THE SUN COMES UP SHARON VAN ETTEN

■ Much hyped Welsh four-piece Catfish and the Bottlemen spent the summer playing the big festivals and their hard work has paid off, with headline shows selling out wherever they play. OK, they aren’t really breaking new ground with their Strokes-meets-Razorlight jangly, indie riffery but the kids love ‘em, which is exactly how it should be.

■ She may list influences such as Leonard Cohen and Nick Cave, but raven-haired singer Sharon Van Etten’s album, Are We There, isn’t as dark or gloomy as that might suggest. Smouldering, sultry and beautifully crafted, Every Time The Sun Comes Up may have a dark side but it also has a liberal sprinkling of wry humour.

24 HEAR IT ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Collaborating with ❝ Pharrell? Not bad for a boy from Suffolk. Ed Sheeran

Listen to all these tracks on our Spotify playlist. To find the link visit www.bristolpost.co.uk. Alternatively, visit www.bristolpost.co.uk/whatson/entertainment Did your favourite track of 2014 not make our list? Head to BristolPost.co.uk and feel free to have a rant

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

Music Don’t miss

ABC / THE CHRISTIANS O2 ACADEMY

MICHAEL SCHENKER O2 ACADEMY

erman heavy metal guitar legend Michael Schenker brings his Temple Of Rock band to Bristol and it’s a line-up featuring fellow former members of Scorpions, Herman Rarebell (drums) and Francis Buchholz (bass). A real treat for heavy metal fans, the band also features ex-Rainbow vocalist, Doogie White, and Wayne Findlay on guitar and keyboards. Temple Of Rock are on tour to perform tracks from their new album, Bridge The Gap, which includes 13 adrenalin-fuelled

rock’n’roll songs that showcase Schenker’s distinctive and explosive guitar playing, underpinned by the ferocious rhythm section of Rarebell and Buchholz. It’s the first time Schenker, Rarebell and Buchholz have appeared on the same album since the Scorpions’ classic 1979 record, Lovedrive. Bridge The Gap is a thunderous collection of songs steeped in shades of dark and light that shows a re-energised guitarist at the top of his game, surrounded by top drawer musicians. ■ December 19. See listings for details.

n its release in May 1982, ABC’s debut album, The Lexicon Of Love, crashed straight into the UK album charts at number one. Produced by the legendary Trevor Horn, and showcasing the hit songs Tears Are Not Enough, Poison Arrow‚ The Look Of Love and All Of My Heart, it was a ground-breaking collection of modern love songs and still regarded as one of the defining albums of the Eighties. The Sheffield band, fronted by Martin Fry, are joined for this Christmas show by Garry Christian, the distinctive voice of Eighties chart toppers The Christians, best remembered for hit singles like Forgotten Town, Ideal World, Hooverville (And They Promised Us The World) and their cover versions of Harvest For The World and Ferry Cross The Mersey. A quarter of a century since their initial chart success and The Christians are looking and sounding better than ever with Christian backed by a new band featuring Joey Ankrah, Neil Griffiths, Lionel Duke and Clifford Watson. ■ Sunday, December 21. See listings for details.

BAD MANNERS FLEECE

ronted by the larger-than-life vocalist Buster Bloodvessel, Bad Manners were one of the many bands to take their inspiration from the Specials and the British ska revival of the late Seventies. Gaining early exposure through the 2-Tone Records package tours and an appearance in the film Dance Craze, Bad Manners enjoyed huge chart success in the early Eighties with singles like Ne-Ne Na-Na Na-Na Nu-Nu, Lip Up Fatty, Walking In The Sunshine, Special Brew and Can Can. Although the hits dried up by the mid-80s,

the band continued to reach new audiences with subsequent ska revivals, releasing successful compilation albums and packing out venues all over Europe. Life-saving gastric bypass surgery ten years ago may have reduced Buster Bloodvessel’s waistline, but the bald-headed frontman is still a toweringfigureandconsummateshowmanand the band’s annual Christmas show at the Fleece is always a sell out. ■ Sunday, December 21. See listings for details.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

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Music Listings

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PEE WEE ELLIS AND JAMES MORTON FLEECE

ee Wee Ellis is an American saxophonist, composer and arranger who was part of The JB’s, one of the greatest ever horn sections. He also toured, recorded and wrote for James Brown in the Sixties and Seventies, co-writing hits including Cold Sweat and Say It Loud – I’m Black And I’m Proud. After leaving Brown’s band, Ellis was Van Morrison’s musical director for 19 years and he now tours and records with his Funk Assembly. Now settled in Wiltshire, he per-

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forms and teaches all over the world and in July 2014 he was honoured with a doctorate by Bath Spa University. Ellis continues to support local music as patron (and a principal performer) of the Bristol International Blues and Jazz Festival. Appearing with Ellis at the Fleece for a set of classic funk and soul hits is Bristol’s ambassador of music, James Morton. A one-off show, it’s a collaboration not to be missed.

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By Paul Riley

Classical BRISTOL ENSEMBLE AT CHRISTMAS ST GEORGE’S BRISTOL

hat fires the starting pistol on the Christmas home straits for you? Bristol Choral Society’s Messiah (Saturday, December 20) perhaps? Or maybe Bristol Bach Choir’s two-pronged cracker at St George’s (Friday and Saturday, December 19 and 20)? There’s one group, though, that probably can’t wait to hear the distant jingle bells of Santa’s sleigh because that can only mean one thing: the chance for a breather after a sack-full of Christmas concerts. As well as Messiahs in Bath and Tewkesbury, the Bristol Ensemble also unwraps its own five-concert injection of festive cheer at St George’s during the final countdown to the big day. First up are two matinee performances of a Children’s Christmas Carnival wrapping up warm around Howard Blake’s music for

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The Snowman. In the evening, soprano Fflur Wyn joins them for A Baroque Christmas. She bags the evening’s showstopper, Bach’s exuberant solo cantata, Jauchzet Gott In Allen Landen, as well as some choice Vivaldi, and there’s Corelli’s Christmas Concerto too. Finally, things turn choral as two of David Ogden’s Bristol choirs go head to head. On Monday, the City of Bristol Choir does the honours alongside the Bristol Ensemble, while the following night the last word goes to his chamber group, Exultate. For anyone with room for pudding, the Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra flames the brandy over its traditional Viennese Gala, chock full of Straussian plums, at the Colston Hall on Tuesday, December 30. Indulge. It’s Christmas! ■ See listings for details.

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Ample sprinkling of musical magic

dapted from the popular Broadway musical, the 1982 film Annie is firmly engrained in many rose-tinted childhood memories. The uplifting story of a flame-haired orphan girl who overcomes insurmountable odds to win the heart of a billionaire businessman taps into our deep-rooted sense of belonging. Infectious music and lyrics by Charles Strouse and Martin Charnin have reverberated throughout popular culture from episodes of 30 Rock, Glee and South Park to a sample on rapper Jay-Z’s 1998 single Hard Knock Life. Will Gluck’s glossy modern remake retains most of the original songbook, with a couple of new soaring ballads. Some of the updates don’t quite work though: changing Annie’s residence from an orphanage to a foster home significantly reduces the number of children in care for one of the big song and dance numbers. Also, Carol Burnett’s ferocious portrayal of Miss Hannigan has been softened so Cameron Diaz retains a glimmer of likeability, even when she’s drunkenly snarling, “You think the world wants a smart-mouthed little girl?”. On the whole, Gluck’s reworking possesses the same wholesome likeability, including a winning title performance from Quvenzhane Wallis, who was Oscar-nominated for Beasts Of The Southern Wild. Annie (Wallis) lives in Harlem in the dubious care of embittered, alcoholic, faded pop star Colleen Hannigan (Diaz) with four other

32 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

girls: Tessie (Zoe Margaret Colletti), Mia (Nicolette Pierini), Isabella (Eden Duncan-Smith) and Pepper (Amanda Troya). Eternally cheerful and optimistic, Annie believes her real parents will return for her and every Friday, she sits outside the Italian restaurant where her folks left her, aged four, with a note. During one of her regular jaunts around the city, Annie is rescued from the path of a truck by mobile phone company billionaire Will Stacks (Jamie Foxx), who is running for mayor. The footage goes viral and boosts Will’s approval ratings. Election advisor Guy (Bobby Cannavale), who masterminded campaigns for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Kim Jong-Il, suggests that Will temporarily adopts Annie. Will agrees and welcomes Annie into his high-tech penthouse, where she befriends the mogul’s trusty assistant Grace (Rose Byrne). Over time, Annie opens Will’s heart, but just when he is poised to consider adopting her forever, her real parents (Tracie Thoms and Dorian Missick) reappear. The cast lip-sync convincingly and the big numbers are slickly choreographed, including a heartfelt rendition of Tomorrow from Wallis on the city streets. “People love musicals, they’re magical,” observes one character. This version of Annie has an ample sprinkling of that lustre dust.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

ANNIE (PG, 118 mins) Starring Quvenzhane Wallis, Jamie Foxx, Cameron Diaz, Rose Byrne.

VERDICT Annie lacks some of the rough charm of the 1982 film, but director Gluck and his team add enough contemporary spit and polish without obscuring the story’s emotional arc.

Score ★★★✩✩

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Film listings ARNOLFINI

16 Narrow Quay, Bristol. Tel 0117 917 2300. NO FILMS THIS WEEK CINEMA DE LUX

Lower Castle Street, Bristol. Tel. 0871 220 1000 PADDINGTON (PG) Daily 11.30, 12.00, 1.55, 2.25, 4.25, 7.00, 9.25, Fri/Sat lates 11.45 THE IMITATION GAME (12A) Daily 4.55 (Fri only), 7.50, 10.35 Sat-Weds only 4.00 ANNIE (PG) Sat-Weds 4.45, 7.40 TINKERBELL AND THE LEGEND OF THE NEVERBEAST (U) Daily 10.00 (Sun s/t), 12.00 GET SANTA (U) Daily 2.00, 4.30 INTERSTELLAR (12A) Daily 7.05, 10.45 THE HOBBIT: BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Daily 10.00, 10.45, 12.30, 1.15, 2.30, 4.00, 4.30, 6.45, 7.15, 7.45, 10.00, 10.30, Fri/Sat lates 11.30pm PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR 3D (U) Daily 10.00 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Daily 10.00, 11.40, 12.25, 2.10, 2.50, 4.40, 5.15, 7.05, 7.45, 9.30, Fri/Sat lates 12.00am HUNGER GAMES MOCKINGJAY PART 1 (12A) Daily 10.40, 1.40, 4.40, 7.40, 10.15, 10.40 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (U) Daily 10.30, 12.40, 2.50, 5.10 HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 (15) Daily 7.30 (Tues s/t), 10.05 DUMB AND DUMBER TO (15) Daily 10.30, 11.20, 1.15, 2.00, 4.00 (Fri only), 4.35, 7.00, 7.25, 10.00, 10.30 Fri/Sat lates 12.35am THE HOBBIT: BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12A) Daily 11.15, 3.00, 6.15, 9.30 CINEWORLD

Hengrove, Bristol. Tel 0871 200 2000. ELF (TAKE 2) UK Tues 2.00, 4.20, 6.40 ELF (PG) Wed 1.30, 6.30 ANNIE (PG) Sat/Mon/Tues 11.20, 2.20, 5.20, Sun

34 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

12.00, 6.15, 9.15, Wed 2.20, 8.10 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Fri-Wed 11.00, 12.20, 1.45, 2.50, 5.20, 6.10, 7.50 (8.45 Wed) DUMB AND DUMBER TO (15) Fri 7.45, Sat-Wed 8.00 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Fri-Tues (11.30 Sat/Sun) 3.00, 6.30, (8.40 except Sun), Wed 3.00, 6.30 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12A) Fri-Wed 12.30, 3.50, 4.20, 7.10, 7.40, (8.40 Sun) TINKERBELL AND THE LEGEND OF THE NEVERBEAST (U) Fri-Tues (11.15 except Sun), 1.30, 3.40, Wed 11.15, 4.00 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (U) Fri-Wed 10.50, 1.10, 3.30, 5.50 GET SANTA (U) Fri 12.10, 2.40, 5.10, Sat/Mon-Wed 12.10, 2.40, Sun 2.10 HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 (15) Fri 2.00, 8.45 PADDINGTON (PG) Fri-Wed 11.00, 12.45, 3.10, 5.40, 8.15 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1 (12A) Fri-Mon 5.50, 8.50, Tues 9.10 NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE’S MY DONKEY?! (U) Fri 12.40, 3.20, Sat/Mon-Wed 10.00, 12.40, 3.20, 5.15, Sun 10.00, 12.40, 5.15 BOLLYWOOD: P.K. (12A) Fri-Tues 1.30, 5.00, 8.30, Wed 1.30, 5.00, 8.10 TAMIL: LINGAA (12A) Fri 4.50, 8.20, Sat-Tues 8.20 JUNIORS: THE POLAR EXPRESS 3D (U) Sat-Wed 10.00 THE POLAR EXPRESS (U) Fri/Sat/Mon-Wed 10.00 FROZEN SING-A-LONG (PG) Fri/Sat/Mon-Wed 10.10, 10.20, Sun 10.10, 10.20, 10.30 THE HOUSE OF MAGIC (U) Fri-Wed 10.00 THE CUBE

Dove St South, Kingsdown. Tel 0117 907 4190. COMEDY COMBO: LIVE STAND UP, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL Sat 7.30 NANOPLEX: A CHARLIE BROWN

from Friday, December 19, 2014

CHRISTMAS Sun 2.00 CURZON

Old Church Road, Clevedon. Tel 01275 871000. THE HOBBIT (12A) Fri-Tues 2.00, (7.30 except Sun), Wed 10.30am GET SANTA (PG) Fri-Tues 5.00, Wed 2.00 with Father Christmas CURZON SPECIAL: IDA (15) Sun 7.30 ODEON

Union St, Bristol. Tel 0117 929 0884. DUMB AND DUMBER TO (15) Fri-Tues 8.40 (s/t Mon), Wed 6.20 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Fri-Tues 1.30, 8.00, Wed 12.40, 7.00 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12A) Fri-Tues 4.45 (s/t Tues), Wed 3.45 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1 (12A) Fri-Tues 8.30 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Fri-Wed (10.30 except Fri), 1.00, 3.30, 6.00 PADDINGTON (PG) Fri-Wed (11.20 except Fri), 1.40 (s/t Sun), 4.00, (6.20 except Wed) HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 (PG) Sat-Wed 10.00 ORPHEUS

Northumbria Drive, Henleaze, Bristol. Tel 0845 166 2381 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: THE SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Fri/Sat/Mon/Tues 2.40, 5.30, 8.25, Sun 5.50, 8.35, Christmas Eve 2.40, 5.30 TINKERBELL & THE LEGEND OF THE NEVERBEAST (U) Fri-Wed 11.45, 1.45 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES: 2D & 3D (12A) Fri/Sat/Mon/Tues 2.10 2D, 5.10 3D, 8.00 2D, Sun 2.10 2D, 5.20 2D, 8.10 3D, Christmas Eve 2.10 2D, 5.10 3D NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE’S MY DONKEY (U) Fri/Sat/Mon-Wed 12.10, Sun 3.35 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (U) Fri/Sat/Mon-Wed 3.45, Sun 12.30

PADDINGTON (PG) Fri-Wed 12.00, 6.00 THE IMITATION GAME (12A) Fri-Tues 8.10 BOLSHOI BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER (12A) Sun 2.30 SHOWCASE

Avonmeads, St Philip’s Causeway, Bristol. Tel 0871 220 1000. PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (U) Daily 10.00, 11.30 (s/t Sun), 12.15, 1.50, 2.30, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10, Fri/Sat lates 11.40pm ANNIE (PG) Daily (not Fri) 4.45, 7.40 IMITATION GAME (12A) Daily 4.45, 7.40, 10.25 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Daily 11.40, 12.10, 2.10, 2.40, 4.40, 5.10, 7.05, 7.35, 9.30, 10.00, Fri/Sat lates 11.50pm, 12.20am PADDINGTON (PG) Daily 11.05, 11.35, 2.00, 2.30, 4.30, 5.00, 7.00, 9.25, Fri/Sat lates 11.45pm HUNGER GAMES MOCKINGJAY PART 1 (12A) Daily 10.00, 12.45, 4.00, 7.00, 7.30, 9.50, 10.20, Fri/Sat lates 12.30am NATIVITY 3 (U) Daily 11.20, 2.10, 4.50, 7.20 ST. VINCENT (12A) Daily 9.55pm, Fri/Sat lates 12.20am GET SANTA (U) Daily 10.00, 12.25, 2.50, 5.15 PYRAMID (15) Daily (7.55 except Fri), 10.15, Fri/Sat lates 12.15am THE HOBBIT: BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12A) Daily 10.00, 12.00, 1.00, 3.30, 4.30, 7.15 (s/t Tues), 8.15, 10.30, Fri/Sat lates 11.30pm THE HOBBIT: BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Daily 11.00, 2.30, 6.15, 9.30 TINKERBELL AND THE LEGEND OF THE NEVERBEAST (U) Daily 10.05, 12.05, 2.05, 4.05, 6.00 INTERSELLAR (12A) Daily 8.00, Fri/Sat lates 11.25pm DUMB AND DUMBER TO (15) Daily 11.20, 2.00, 4.35, 7.25, 10.00, Fri/Sat lates 12.25am VUE

Cribbs Causeway, Bristol. Tel 0871 224 0240.

■ Due to our printing deadlines over Christmas, there will be no film listings in Weekend magazine on January 2. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. Visit www.bristolpost.co.uk/whatson/entertainment for up-to-date listings at any time

ANNIE (PG) Sat 9.05 (audio), 11.35, 2.35, 5.40, 8.05, Sun 9.15, 11.15, 2.50, 5.55, 8.40, Mon 9.35, 12.10, 3.15, 5.30, 8.45, Tues 9.30, 11.40, 1.55, 5.15, 7.40, Wed 10.30, 1.10, 3.10, 5.10 BLACK SEA (15) Fri 11.55pm, Sun 00.10, 11.15pm, Mon/Tues 10.45pm DUMB AND DUMBER TO (15) Fri 10.05, 11.20, 1.45, 4.25, 5.50, 7.05, 8.35, 9.20, 10.40, Sat 9.40, 1.25, 4.10, 5.25, 6.20, 8.30, 9.45 (audio), 10.55, 11.55, Sun 12.10, 2.35, 3.55, 5.20,6.50, 8.15, 10.55, 10.55, Mon 9.30, 2.10, 5.30, 7.30, 8.20, 9.20, 10.50, Tues 2.30, 3.45, 5.50, 8.05, 9.30, Wed 10.30, 11.10, 6.30, 8.30, 9.15 FROZEN (PG) Daily (except Thurs) 10.30am GET SANTA (U) Fri 9.50 (audio), 3.35, Sat 12.10, 2.55, Sun 9.15, 11.30 (audio), 1.15, Mon 11.35, 2.50, 5.25, Tues 10.25, 2.50, 6.10 (s/t), Wed 12.20, 4.35 GREMLINS (12A) Fri 8.15, Wed 4.00 HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 (15) Sat 00.00, Sun 00.25, 10.10 (audio), Mon 10.15, Tues 10.35 (audio), Wed 9.25 INTERSELLAR (12A) Fri 9.55, Sat 10.40, Sun 9.05, 9.15 KAJAKI. THE TRUE STORY (15) Mon 10.45pm NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE’S MY DONKEY (U) Fri 10.05, 5.25, Sat 12.15, 5.30, Sun 9.30, 11.10, 12.25 (s/t), 12.45, 2.20, 5.10, Mon 11.10, 1.15, 1.50, 2.45, 4.25, 4.50, Tues 10.00, 12.55, 5.05, Wed 9.00 (audio), 9.40, 12.30, 1.50, 3.50 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Fri 9.20, 10.40, 12.00, 2.00, 4.45, 6.50, 8.10, Sat 9.25, 10.20, 11.40, 1.30, 3.30, 4.35, 7.15 (audio), 9.25, Sun 9.05 (audio), 10.00, 3.05, 4.30, 6.35, 7.40 (audio), Mon 9.10, 10.10, 12.45, 5.50, 7.45 (audio), 9.10, Tues 9.10 (audio), 10.05, 12.20, 1.30, 2.35, 4.30 (audio), 5.25, 7.00, 8.20, Wed 10.00, 11.30, 12.55, 2.00, 3.30, 5.50, 6.55, 8.00, 9.00 PADDINGTON (PG) Fri 9.00, 10.20, 11.20, 1.15, 3.00, 3.45, 5.45, 6.20, 8.05, Sat 9.45, 10.55, 11.55 (audio), 1.10, 2.20 (audio), 3.35, 4.50 (audio), 6.00, 7.00, 8.15, Sun 10.20, 12.10, 1.05, 2.45,

3.20, 3.50, 5.15, 6.15, 8.25, Mon 9.20 (audio), 10.45, 11.45 (audio), 1.05, 2.25 (audio), 3.30, 5.10 (audio), 6.55, 8.20, Tues 9.30, 12.00, 1.05, 2.00 (audio), 3.30, 4.50, 5.55, 7.15, 8.30, Wed 10.20, 11.40 (audio), 1.05, 2.05 (audio), 3.35, 4.30 (audio), 6.00, 6.35, 8.25 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (U) Fri 9.30, 1.05, 4.30, 6.10, Sat 11.15, 12.50, 2.05, 4.20, 6.45, Sun 9.00, 11.50, 2.05, Mon 9.55, 12.25, 3.00, 6.10, Tues 11.35, 12.55, 3.25, Wed 10.30, 1.25, 4.30, 6.00 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR 3D (U) Sat 9.15, Wed 9.00 ST VINCENT (12A) Fri/Tues 10.55pm, Sun 00.00, 11.00pm, Wed 9.30 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12A) Fri 11.50, 12.50 (audio), 3.25, 4.10 (audio), 6.40, 7.30 (audio), 8.45, 9.45, 10.50, Sat 12.00, 2.40, 3.45, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 11.10, Sun 11.20, 2.00 (audio), 3.30, 5.45, 7.00, 9.00, 9.30, 10.20, Mon 11.20, 2.35, 6.00, 7.00, 9.15, 10.15, Tues 11.20, 12.30, 2.40, 3.40, 6.00, 7.20 (audio), 9.20, 10.30, Wed 3.20, 6.00, 7.15 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Fri 9.35am, 10.20pm, Sat 9.15, 11.40pm, Sun 10.55pm, Mon 12.20, 3.40, Tues 10.40, 9.40, Wed 11.20, 2.35 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Daily except Fri, Thurs 10.00, 1.20, 4.40, 8.00, Fri 10.00, 1.20, 4.40, 8.00, 11.20 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1 (12A) Fri 12.45, 1.50, 4.40, 7.20, 10.45 (audio), 11.20, Sat 7.00, 9.05, 10.15, 11.50, Sun 5.20, 7.55, 11.00, Mon 6.15, 7.55, Tues 6.20, 8.45, Wed 6.35, 8.30 THE IMITATION GAME (12A) Fri 12.45, 3.00, 8.30, Sat 9.00, 11.45, Sun 5.40, 8.10, Mon 8.10, 10.20 (audio), Tues 8.00, 10.50, Wed 6.55 (audio), 9.10 THE MUPPETS CHIRSTMAS CAROL - DISNEY DAYS (U) Sat/Sun 11.00 THE PYRAMID (15) Fri 11.20pm, Sat 9.55, Sun 00.30, 11.30, Mon 11.00pm, Tues 10.45pm, Wed 9.40pm (audio)

THE SNOW QUEEN (U) Fri 2.30, Sat 9.25am, Sun/Mon 9.00am, Tues 9.30am TINKERBELL AND THE LEGEND OF THE NEVERBEAST (U) Fri 9.15, 12.50, 3.40, Sat 9.10, 1.35, 3.25, Sun 9.10, 1.50, Mon 9.15, 10.35, 12.40, 3.55, Tues 9.15, 11.20, 4.05, Wed 9.25, 12.50, 2.50 VUE

Longwell Green, Bristol. Tel. 0871 224 0240. FROZEN SING A LONG (PG) Weds 1.00 THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL – DISNEY DAYS AT VUE (U) Sat/Sun 11.00 ANNIE (PG) Daily (except Fri/Thurs) 10.50, 1.40, 4.30, 7.30 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG) Fri/Sat/Sun/Tues 11.50, 1.10, 2.30, 3.40, 5.10, 6.20, 7.50, (10.30 Fri/Sat only), Mon/Tues 11.50, (12.40 Mon only), 2.30, 3.40, 5.10, 6.20, 7.50 DUMB AND DUMMER TO (15) Daily (except Thurs) 11.30, 2.10, 5.00, 6.00, 7.40, 8.40, (10.40 Fri/Sat only) THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (12A) Fri-Tues 12.00, 1.20, 3.20, 4.40, 6.40, 7.20 (Tues s/t), 8.00, 10.00, (10.50 Fri/Sat only), Weds 12.00, 1.10, 3.20, 4.20, 6.40, 7.20, 8.00 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES 3D (12A) Daily (except Weds/Thurs) 2.20, 5.40, 9.00, Weds 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 TINKER BELL AND THE LEGEND OF THE NEVER BEAST (U) Daily (except Weds/Thurs) 10.20, 12.20, Weds 10.10, 12.10 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (PG) Fri/Sat/Sun/Tues 10.10, 12.40, 3.10, Mon 10.10, 3.10, Weds 10.10, 12.30, 3.10 GET SANTA (U) Fri/Mon/Tues/Weds 10.00, 12.30, 3.00, 5.50, Sat/Sun 12.10, 2.50 (Sun s/t), 5.50 THE SNOW QUEEN 2 (U) Fri/Mon/Tues/Weds 10.40, Sat/Sun 10.00 THE PYRMAID (15) Fri/Sat 10.40, Sun/Tues 10.20, Mon 10.10 HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 (15) Fri 8.50, 10.20, Sat 10.50, 10.25,

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Sun/Mon/Tues/Weds 8.50 PADDINGTON (PG) Daily (except Thurs) 10.00, 11.20, 12.40, 2.00, 3.20, 4.40, 5.40, 7.10, 8.10 THE HUNGER GAMES: PART ONE MOCKINGJAY (12A) Daily (except Fri/Thurs) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30, Fri 10.40, 11.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.20, 5.30, 7.20, 8.30 NATIVITY 3: DUDE WHERE’S MY DONKEY (U) Fri/Mon/Tues/Weds 10.45, 1.40, 4.30, Sat/Sun 10.20, 1.40, 4.30 THE IMITATION GAME (12A) Fri/Sat 8.20, 11.10, Sun/Mon/Tues/Weds 8.20 INTERSTELLAR (12A) Daily (except Wed/Thurs) 9.40 SENIORS: SERENA (15) Mon 1.00 KIDS: FROZEN (PG) Daily (except Thurs) 10.30 WATERSHED

Canon’s Rd, Bristol. Tel 0117 927 5100. THE HORSEMAN (15) Fri 8.20, Sat-Tues 8.30 KON-TIKI (15) Fri/Mon 5.20, 8.10, Sat/Sun 2.30, 5.20, 8.10, Tues 5.10, 8.10 GUYS AND DOLLS (U) Fri 5.30, 8.30, Sat/Sun 2.10, 5.10, 8.20, Mon/Tues 5.10, 8.20 WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (15) Fri 3.10, 6.00, Sat/Sun 3.20, 6.20, Mon/Tues 3.10, 6.20 THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL (U) Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues 1.00 MURRAY BRUNCHES: SCROOGED (PG) Sun 12.00 CINEBABIES: THE HORSEMAN (15) Mon 11.00am WOTTON ELECTRIC PICTURE HOUSE

18a Market Street, Wotton Under Edge. Tel 01453 844401. PADDINGTON (PG) Fri-Tues 2.00, Wed 11.00, 2.00 MY OLD LADY (12A) Fri 7.30 THE IMITATION GAME (12A) Sat 7.30, Sun 4.30 MY OLD LADY (12A) Mon 8.00, Tues 7.30

●●●●● SEE IT 35

Fitting farewell to Hollywood’s much-loved leading men

t’s time to say goodbye. The third chapter of the blockbusting Night At The Museum franchise has lost two of its greatest special effects – Mickey Rooney and Robin Williams – over the past 12 months. So it’s fitting that Secret Of The Tomb should be an action-packed adventure punctuated with dewy-eyed farewells and warm-hearted reminiscence. Shawn Levy’s picture is a fitting swansong, reuniting most of the protagonists from the original for a final transatlantic hurrah. The script adds father-son bonding to the mix and a new Neanderthal called Laa (Ben Stiller), who is partial to munching on polystyrene foam. For the most part though, familiarity with the series’ larger-than-life characters breeds contentment. The third chapter opens in 1938 Egypt, where adventurer Robert Fredericks (Brennan Elliott) and his 12-year-old son CJ (Percy Hynes-White) stumble upon a burial chamber. “If anyone disturbs this tomb, the end will come!” proclaims one superstitious local. Undaunted, Fredericks empties the site of its priceless artefacts, dividing the treasures between New York and London. Fast-forwarding to the present day, the magical Tablet Of Ahkmenrah, which brings to life the exhibits of the American Museum Of Natural History, is losing its power. Security guard Larry Daley (Stiller) recognises the repercussions for his display case chums and enlists the help of museum director Dr McPhee (Ricky Gervais) to ship the tablet to the British Museum in London, home of

36 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

pharaoh Merenkahre (Sir Ben Kingsley), who fashioned the tablet in honour of his son Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek). Larry heads for the British capital with his son Nick (Skyler Gisondo) and several stowaways: Theodore Roosevelt (Robin Williams), cowboy Jedediah (Owen Wilson), Roman general Octavius (Steve Coogan), Attila the Hun (Patrick Gallagher), interpreter Sacagawea (Mizuo Peck), Laa and Dexter the capuchin monkey. Aided by dashing Sir Lancelot (Dan Stevens) and hindered by local security guard Mindy (Rebel Wilson), Larry races against time to restore the tablet’s lustre before the magic dissipates forever. Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb milks our affection for the characters without exhausting our good will. The script continues to have fun juxtaposing the modern and ancient worlds, like when Sir Lancelot asks Nick, “Have you ever held a blade?” and the teenager responds, “Only in World Of Warcraft.” London looks splendid through Levy’s lens, accompanied by a predictable yet rousing chorus of The Clash, while an extended cameo by a Hollywood superstar during the frenetic denouement is a treat. Stiller seems to have tears in his eyes for most of the second half, relying predominantly on co-stars to lasso the laughs. When Williams’ waxwork President acknowledges the end is nigh and softly remarks, “You have to let us go,” it’s hard not to get a little lump in your throat.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB (PG, 98 mins) Starring Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Ricky Gervais, Sir Ben Kingsley, Dick Van Dyke.

VERDICT There’s nothing innovative in the third film, but good humour and sweetness prevail.

Score ★★★✩✩

Audience left battered and bruised by misfortune

here’s no shortage of dim-witted, foolhardy and empty-headed characters on the big screen. Watch any horror film and at least one victim will venture into the dark to investigate a strange noise when common sense dictates you run in the opposite direction. Inspector Clouseau blundered through various investigations yet somehow always solved the case, A Clockwork Orange featured a droog called Dim and Kevin Kline won an Oscar as numbskull assassin Otto West in A Fish Called Wanda. Forrest Gump, one of cinema’s great innocents, famously remarked that “stupid is as stupid does” and using that barometer, Dumb And Dumber To takes the art of moronic tomfoolery to new depths. From the eye-watering opening gag of a DIY catheter removal, Bobby and Peter Farrelly’s mindless sequel to their hit 1994 comedy embraces every crude, lewd and inappropriate set-up imaginable in its relentless pursuit of cheap, grubby titters. If this is the future of comedy on film then the art form has flat-lined and I would strongly recommend a Do Not Resuscitate order. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels reprise their roles as best pals Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, who mix up their words (“That’s all water under the fridge”) and are blinkered to the perils of modern life. They merrily take a shower under the waste water pipe from a nuclear power plant.

For two decades, Lloyd (Carrey) has been consigned to Baldy View Psychiatric Hospital, where Harry (Daniels) visits and helps nurses to wash, dress and feed the comatose patient. Thankfully, Lloyd regains the few senses he possesses and supports Harry through his own medical emergency: an urgent kidney transplant. Since Harry is adopted, there is no familial donor and the future seems bleak. Out of the blue, Harry learns that he fathered a child in 1991 with old flame Fraida Felcher (Kathleen Turner). “Do you know what this means? You have a grown kid... with grown kidneys!” shrieks Lloyd. The dim-witted duo track down the fruit of Harry’s loins, Penny (Rachel Melvin), to her adoptive parents: reclusive scientist Dr Pinchelow (Steve Tom) and his trophy wife (Laurie Holden). Alas, Penny has already departed for a convention in El Paso to honour her father’s ground-breaking work. So the simple-minded pals hit the road – and occasionally each other – in order to reunite Harry with his long-lost offspring and persuade her to give up her organ. Dumb And Dumber To is a greater ordeal for us than it is for Harry and Lloyd, who are battered and bruised by misfortune. The plot is nonsensical and includes pointless diversions, including a brief reappearance of the Mutt Cutts dog van from the original picture.

DUMB AND DUMBER TO (15, 109 mins) Starring Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Kathleen Turner, Bill Murray.

VERDICT Carrey and Daniels fling themselves into the fray with gusto, at the mercy of a script that lacks subtlety, sophistication or any discernible laughs.

Score ★✩✩✩✩

from Friday, December 19, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 37

Carnival and cabaret make for one wild night

Mr B Gentleman Rhymer

Smerins Anti-Social Club

PICK OF THE WEEK Spiegeltent Masquerade Ball, Saturday, December 20. See listings for details.

ristol Harbourside’s lavish pop-up party venue, The Spiegeltent, hosts its famous annual masked ball on Saturday, December 20, promising a night of red-hot revelry, mischievous mayhem and crazy cabaret. One of the highlights of the seductive Spiegeltent’s season, and now sold out (with hopefuls praying for return tickets), the night features a fine cast of cabaret performers, bands and DJs delivering a top notch evening of entertainment and music in this most beautiful of settings. Fabulous carnival dancers Rebelado will be turning up the heat inside the tent. The Bristol-based, super-sexy dancers will dazzle with their fast-paced samba show inspired by the streets of Rio De Janeiro. No Fit State Circus’s Anne-Fay will have

38 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

audiences on the edge of their seats with her breathtaking, elegant and gravity-defying handstand and aerial routines. Don’t try this at home! Award-winning radio and festival favourite, the very English, tweed-sporting, pipe-smoking Mr B Gentleman Rhymer, will be entertaining audiences with his eloquent and entertaining ditties. Sporting a moustache, a banjolele and a stiff upper lip, Mr B is on a one-man mission to introduce chap-hop – where hip-hop meets the Queen’s English. And the gorgeous, athletic, otherworldly circus performer August will be hanging around from the rafters, performing extraordinary and beautiful aerial feats. If all that’s not enough to get party-goers giddy with excitement, there’s also music from

from Friday, December 19, 2014

nine-piece Smerins Anti-Social Club, playing everything from old-time swing (with a twist) to hip-hop, ska, dirty funk, soul and dub. And ramping up the tempo even further is producer, composer and DJ John Hendicott. He’ll be whipping the crowds into a frenzy with his deep groove, house, jazz, funk, soul, reggae, hip-hip and disco. A coup for the Spiegeltent, he’s worked with the likes of Joe Driscoll, Chipmunk, Lazy Habits and Sekou Kouyate, and is currently jetting between Bristol and LA while working on various film projects. Those lucky enough to be attending this sumptuous event are asked to wear a wonderous, smart and slinky creation and, of course, the obligatory masquerade mask. Dancing, laughing and having fun is also compulsory.

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We would like to thank all our clients for their continued support throughout 2014 We wish you a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 39

40 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Theatre Listings Carla Mendonça as Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmations

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●●●●● SEE IT 41

Pick of the Week John Cleese – So, Anyway Colston Hall, Bristol, Sunday, December 21. See listings for details.

42 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

from Friday, December 19, 2014

I like that Bristolians call you ‘my lovely’

ohn Cleese returns to Bristol on Sunday with his new show, So, Anyway... based on his latest book about how a tall, shy youth from Weston-superMare went on to become a selfconfessed legend. Punctuated with Cleese’s thoughts on topics as diverse as the nature of comedy, the relative merits of cricket and waterskiing, and the importance of knowing the dates of all the kings and queens of England, this is a masterly performance by the former school teacher. “If the book and show are about anything, they’re about how my sense of humour developed and how I got into showbusiness,” explains Cleese. “It takes us from my early life in Westonsuper-Mare and Bristol up to the beginning of Python. “There are little angry moments and sad anecdotes, because that’s all part of life. But mostly it’s funny. I’m here to give people a laugh.” Both book and show are vivid, entertaining and, at times, explosively funny. That shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, given that Cleese is one of the most lauded British comedians of the past century. After coming to national attention in The Frost Report, he formed the Monty Python troupe alongside Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam and Graham Chapman. Together they created the surreal and ground-breaking sketch show Monty Python’s Flying Circus as well as films including The Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. After that, he teamed up with his then-wife

Connie Booth to write the seminal Fawlty Towers. Films such as Clockwise and A Fish Called Wanda as well as roles in the James Bond, Harry Potter and Shrek franchises, followed. Cleese recently enjoyed a high-profile reunion at London’s O2 Arena with the surviving Pythons (Graham Chapman died in 1989). They dusted off many of their classic sketches to enthusiastic crowds and glowing reviews. “The reunion shows were greeted with a great response everywhere we did them,” Cleese tells me. “There’s a lot of affection for Monty Python.” And there’s a lot of affection for John Cleese from those who have watched him on TV and in film for the past six decades. “It’s very simple, I think... if you make people laugh, they like you,” he muses. “It doesn’t even matter if you’re playing an unpleasant character – after all, Basil Fawlty is a pretty awful man and you wouldn’t like him much in real life.” The writer and performer is particularly treasured in these parts due to his close association with the West Country. “I feel immensely fond of Bristol and Bath,” he says with genuine affection, “and if I was ever going to live outside of London, it would be in one of those two cities. “I did have a flat in Bath and I think it’s a stunning city. But I have always felt that there’s something nice about Bristol. It’s a very decent, endearing place, with a good atmosphere. “I feel that way about the whole of the West Country, actually. The values are a lot simpler and I like the way they address you as ‘my lovely’.”

from Friday, December 19, 2014

us from ❝ myIt takes early life in

Weston-superMare and Bristol up to the beginning of Python. There are little angry moments and sad anecdotes, because that’s all part of life.

●●●●● SEE IT 43

JONGLEURS COMEDY CLUB T H E C U B A N, H A R B O U R S I D E

ongleurs’ festive Friday night features Sam Avery, Sean Meo and Rudi Lickwood. Friendly and enthusiastic Sam Avery has an observational style that puts audiences at ease, allowing him to regale them with his tales of everyday life. Sam has gained a reputation for being able to spark the dullest of rooms into life with his warm, infectious humour and quick wit. Former Time Out comedian of the year Sean Meo is a former professional snooker player turned stand-up comic. He has performed all over the world, including three appearances at Montreal Comedy Festival. Meanwhile, super-confident, charismatic Rudi Lickwood has a street wise attitude and a penchant for going off on tangents. On Saturday, Sam Avery and Ruki Lickwood are joined by Rory O’Hanlon, a likeable Dublin based stand-up, who has quickly become a regular at all the major comedy venues in his home city. There will also be an after party.

Rudi Lickwood

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT RIPROAR RIPROAR COMEDY CLUB

ou can see in the new year in style at Riproar with comedy, food and music. Taking the mic are Sully O’Sullivan, Stuart Goldsmith, Pierre Hollins and Ola. New Zealander Sully O’Sullivan, pictured, has a slightly punkish air and piercings. A star in his native New Zealand, he has a confident, improvised style. Stuart Goldsmith, meanwhile, channels the effortless charisma and quick-fire timing honed over a youth misspent as a street-performer. Pierre Hollins is a former House of Commons dishwasher who peppers his act with surreal musical interludes, described as heavy metal comedy heaven, while Ola is a young, urban comic with natural originality and enviable stage presence.

■ Friday, December 19, and Saturday, December 20. See listings for details.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19

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■ Wednesday, December 31. See listings for details.

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WEEKEND 45

Art Listings Dreamers, by Shao Changzong, from the exhibition Ahead Of The Curve: New China From China, at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery

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Christmas TV Guide

Dame Judi Dench, Dustin Hoffman and roald Dahl.... Could Esio Trot be the ultimate festive Tv programme? Nick frost on doctor who

Hugh Bonneville on Downton

roundup of Tv highlights...

...and which films to watch

The best family films on TV this Christmas and New Year CINDERELLA (MON, DEC 22, BBC1, 4PM)

■ Plot: An orphan struggles with a life of servitude, as she’s bullied by her wicked stepmother. ■ Verdict: Brilliant! We know the story inside out, but this charming animated effort is a great excuse to catch it again.

★★★★✩ TOY STORY 3 (CHRISTMAS EVE, BBC1, 6.25PM)

■ Plot: Set years after the first two movies, a grown-up Andy is now off to college, so Buzz, Woody and the rest of his legendary toys are bagged up and sent to the local children’s centre where they are soon at the mercy of riotous kids. ■ Verdict: As ever with this groundbreaking saga, the animation is superb and the pacing is excellent, but where the movie really succeeds is in its assault on the heartstrings.

★★★★★ PUSS IN BOOTS (CHRISTMAS DAY, BBC1, 3.10PM)

■ Plot: The young Puss (voiced by Antonio Banderas) is abandoned at an orphanage where kind Imelda raises the kitten as her own. Puss learns to fight to survive and, many years later, he joins forces with sexy pickpocket Kitty Softpaws to steal magic beans currently in the possession of murderous outlaws as they try to find the Golden Goose. ■ Verdict: The animation is fantastic and while it won’t live up to the Shrek movies, it does have a certain charm of its own.

★★★✩✩ ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (CHRISTMAS DAY, CHANNEL 4, 6PM)

■ Plot: Santa Claus’s Christmas Eve gift-giving routine has become a complex high-tech operation. However, Santa’s youngest son, Arthur, embarks on a Christmas mission of his own when one girl is accidentally missed out. He decides to take control of the family sleigh and deliver her presents the old-fashioned way, but soon realises that following in his father’s footsteps isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. ■ Verdict: With colourful, fun characters, brilliant attention to detail and a plot line to soften even the most stone-hearted Grinch, there’s plenty to Christmas cheer about here.

★★★★✩ 48 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

THE PIRATES! IN AN ADVENTURE WITH SCIENTISTS! (BOXING DAY, BBC1, 4.40PM)

■ Plot: The Pirate Captain is the leader of a ragtag group of seadogs – he and his crew are a laughing stock. To prove the naysayers wrong, The Pirate Captain sets out to capture a treasure ship, but inadvertently storms The Beagle and captures a young Charles Darwin and his primate manservant, Mister Bobo. The scientist leads the pirates on a merry dance that might just end with the beleaguered Captain taking home the coveted Pirate Of The Year prize. ■ Verdict: A laugh-a-minute masterpiece with some blissfully funny scenes, and great turns from the vocal cast.

★★★★★ HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (SAT, DEC 27, BBC1, 3.10PM)

■ Plot: Clumsy young Viking boy Hiccup dreams of following in his warrior father’s footsteps and protecting his village from marauding dragons, but his dad isn’t sure he’s up to the job. Hiccup gets a chance to prove his worth when

from Friday, December 19, 2014

he finds a small dragon in the woods, but can’t quite bring himself to slay the defenceless creature and ends up befriending it instead. ■ Verdict: Easily one of the best animated fantasies of the last four years, boasting great animation, engaging characters and a huge heart.

★★★★★ ET: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL – 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION (SUN, DEC 28, ITV, 3.20PM)

■ Plot: Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi blockbuster tells the tale of Elliot, a lonely boy who discovers and befriends an alien stranded on Earth. ■ Verdict: This is a special, delightful adventure, in which Spielberg reaches out to the child in all of us.

★★★★★ RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (SUN, DEC 28, BBC1, 3.45PM)

■ Plot: All-action archaeologist Indiana Jones embarks on a hunt for the legendary Lost Ark of the Covenant against insurmountable odds and a battalion of Nazis.

AND FOR THE GROWN-UPS... GRAN TORINO (SUN, DEC 21, CHANNEL 5, 9PM)

■ Plot: Walt is a lonely widower estranged from his grasping family. He lives in a neighbourhood now largely populated by immigrants, and Walt doesn’t like any of them, particularly the Korean family living next door. ■ Verdict: Clint Eastwood claims he’s now retired from acting – as one of his final performances, this is a must-see.

★★★★✩ SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (TUE, DEC 23, CHANNEL 5, 10PM)

■ Plot: A platoon of American soldiers (led by Tom Hanks), are ordered to scour the battlefields of France in search of a missing infantryman, the titular Private Ryan (Matt Damon). ■ Verdict: This scooped five Oscars in 1999. The opening scenes depicting the Normandy invasion are harrowing and among the most realistic ever made.

★★★★★ SKYFALL (CHRISTMAS EVE, ITV, 8PM)

■ Plot: After a botched mission which leaves him washed up in more ways than one, James Bond resurfaces when MI6 is targeted by shadowy forces. ■ Verdict: The best 007 movie in decades, with a brilliant, moving finale.

★★★★★ ■ Verdict: Quite simply one of the best action adventures ever made.

★★★★★ MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE’S MOST WANTED (TUE, DEC 30, BBC1, 6.05PM)

■ Plot: Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria hanker for a return to New York’s Central Park Zoo, so seek refuge on a circus train. ■ Verdict: Kids will squeal with delight as this is just as colourful and animated as its predecessors.

★★★★✩

FANTASTIC MR FOX (NEW YEAR’S EVE, CHANNEL 4, 4.20PM)

■ Plot: Stop-motion animated adventure about a rebellious fox who decides it is high time he grew up and changed his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. ■ Verdict: Wes Anderson’s book-to-screen rework is charming, funny, and visually stylish.

★★★★✩ THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN: THE SECRET OF THE UNICORN (NEW YEAR’S DAY, BBC1, 4.25PM)

■ Plot: Weather girl Susan Murphy is about to be married when she is hit by a meteorite that has the effect of turning her into a giant – and she’s immediately captured by the military. ■ Verdict: It’s an animated gem. The colourful characters will keep the kids entertained, while grown-ups can enjoy the witty dialogue and the nods to the B-movies of the 1950s.

■ Plot: Titular hero Tintin (Jamie Bell) buys a model ship and is plunged into a centuries-old mystery involving Ivan Ivanovitch Sakharine (Daniel Craig). Ivan asks Tintin to name his price for the boat, but the reporter refuses to sell, sensing the wooden vessel is far more valuable than it first appears. ■ Verdict: An impressive cast list directed by Steven Spielberg should go some way towards assuring viewers of a certain degree of quality.

★★★★✩

MONSTERS VS ALIENS (NEW YEAR’S EVE, BBC1, 2.50PM)

THE HELP (NEW YEAR’S EVE, BBC2, 8.30PM)

■ Plot: Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan returns home to Jackson after graduating from university with dreams of becoming a writer. She is horrified to discover proposals to force black workers to use separate bathrooms. ■ Verdict: This multi award-winning drama mirrors the actions of its main protagonist – gently changing perceptions and occasionally delivering great delights.

★★★★✩ THE DARK KNIGHT (NEW YEAR’S DAY, ITV, 9PM, REGIONS VARY)

■ Plot: The Caped Crusader teams up with Gotham City Police lieutenant Jim Gordon and Attorney General Harvey Dent to clean up the streets of Gotham for good. But a sadistic clown-faced crime lord known as The Joker emerges to launch a fresh wave of crime on the city’s inhabitants, forcing the nocturnal superhero to question everything he stands for. ■ Verdict: One of the best films of 2008, The Dark Knight breathed fresh life into the series after the horrors of Batman & Robin.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

★★★★★ ●●●●● SEE IT 49

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 51

Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 2014

Festive TV treats you really shouldn’t miss! STRICTLY COME DANCING (SAT, DEC 20, BBC1, 6.30PM)

■ Claudia Winkleman and Tess Daly host the live grand final and the four remaining contestants take to the floor. Judges Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli, Craig Revel Horwood and Darcey Bussell will be giving their opinions, but it’s up to the viewers to decide who will get to “kee-eeeep dancing”, when the results show is broadcast later this evening (8.50pm) – and who will ultimately lift the glitterball trophy. THE APPRENTICE (SUN, DEC 21, BBC1, 9PM)

■ After last week’s brutal interviews episode, which saw Lord Sugar’s favourite five get a grilling from his most trusted advisors, just two remain to do battle for the chance to go into business with the Amstrad boss. Just one final task stands in their way, but it’s the most important one of all: they have to actually launch the businesses they have been holding on to all this time, by coming up with brands and devising

52 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

marketing campaigns before pitching them to an audience of industry experts. THE WRONG MANS (MON, DEC 22, BBC2, 9PM)

■ The comedy thriller about two hapless nobodies caught in an international espionage plot was magical TV – and it returns for a two-parter. The unlikely stars (James Corden and Mathew Baynton, as a council postboy and planning officer) are holed up with new identities at a trucking firm in Texas. Fate has more trouble in store, in the shape of Mexican drug lords and Russian assassins. This is TV gold. Concludes tomorrow. THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF PROFESSOR BRANESTAWM (CHRISTMAS EVE, BBC1, 8.30PM)

■ Harry Hill makes his acting debut in this comedy drama, which has been adapted by Charlie Higson from the classic children’s books by Norman Hunter, an author from Sydenham who saw

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Harry Hill in The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm

pion and Olympic gold medalist, Louis Smith. CALL THE MIDWIFE (CHRISTMAS DAY, BBC1, 7.50PM)

■ This looks set to be the ultimate festive heart-warmer, with a line-up including snow, babies, nuns and lots of adorable children singing Little Donkey (badly). We also see the face behind the voice of midwife Jennifer Worth, Vanessa Redgrave, who appears as an older Jenny during a memorable Christmas. DOWNTON ABBEY (CHRISTMAS DAY, ITV, 9PM)

■ See page 54. THE BOY IN THE DRESS (BOXING DAY, BBC1, 6.55PM)

■ David Walliams’ wonderful children’s story makes it to the small screen. Our hero is cross-dressing 12-year-old Dennis, who lives with his dad and brother. There’s also a fabulous cast including Jennifer Saunders, Tim McInnerny and even supermodel Kate Moss. BIRDS OF A FEATHER (BOXING DAY, ITV, 9PM)

■ Pauline Quirke, Linda Robson and Lesley Joseph return with a new series. In this first episode, Dorien is treating Sharon and Tracey to a holiday in the Canaries – and even before takeoff, she’s trying to join the “50ft High Club”. THAT DAY WE SANG (BOXING DAY, BBC2, 9PM)

service as a teenager in the First World War before becoming a copywriter and author. He wrote 13 books featuring the character over a 50-year period. For the uninitiated, Professor Branestawm is an absent-minded professor, whose creations have a habit of going disastrously wrong. Luckily, his long-suffering housekeeper Mrs Flittersnoop and his dim, but loyal, best friend Colonel Dedshott are usually on hand to stop him blowing himself up, but not everyone is convinced that’s enough of a safeguard. DOCTOR WHO (CHRISTMAS DAY, BBC1, 6.15PM)

■ See page 57. STRICTLY COME DANCING CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (CHRISTMAS DAY, BBC1, 5PM)

■ Six memorable contestants from previous series perform panto-inspired routines. There’s Lisa Riley, Russell Grant, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Rachel Stevens, Chris Hollins and returning Strictly cham-

■ Victoria Wood wrote the musical That Day We Sang for the Manchester International Festival, and now she’s bringing it to the small screen. Michael Ball and Imelda Staunton play Tubby and Enid, who, when we meet them in 1969, are middle-aged and feeling lonely. They have been brought back together for a reunion of the Manchester Children’s Choir, to mark the 40th anniversary of their iconic recording of Nymphs and Shepherds. It stirs up powerful memories and brings back their love of music – but could it also lead to romance? BRUCE’S HALL OF FAME (SAT, DEC 27, BBC1, 8.30PM)

■ Aside from working the crowd with his usual skill, Bruce is joined by a handful of famous faces paying tribute to the entertainers who inspired them. Jamie Cullum sings the praises of Tony Bennett and Jon Culshaw is on top form with his Mike Yarwood turn. Tenor Alfie Boe loves Dean Martin’s voice, Ben Miller was inspired by Norman Wisdom and Jessie Wallace doffs her hypothetical cap to real East Enders Marie Lloyd and Georgia Brown.

THE LAST TANGO IN HALIFAX (SUN, DEC 28, BBC1, 9PM)

■ Anne Reid and Derek Jacob return as septuagenarian newlyweds Celia and Alan, with Sarah Lancashire and Nicola Walker playing their troubled daughters Caroline and Gillian. In the first episode, we check in on Valentine’s Day, and Gillian is enjoying a date with the handsome Gary from Halifax, but as they get further into their evening, it becomes apparent that things may not be as they seem with her dinner companion. MAPP AND LUCIA (MON, DEC 29, BBC1, 9.05PM)

■ This looks like a genteel period comedy drama, but there’s more to EF Benson’s much-loved Mapp and Lucia books than meets the eye. They are set in the fictional town of Tilling and follow two women in the fight for social supremacy. The three parts are being shown across consecutive nights, and as this first episode opens, the scheming Miss Elizabeth Mapp (Miranda Richardson) thinks she’s just pulled off a coup – she’s letting her house to the widowed Mrs Emmeline “Lucia” Lucas (Anna Chancellor) for the summer and can’t wait to show her off to the neighbours. But the snobbish Lucia has no intention of being her landlady’s protégé. NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATIONS (ITV & C4 9PM, BBC1 10.15PM, BBC2 11.20PM)

■ Across the TV channels tonight there’s something for everyone, from Jools Holland’s annual shindig on BBC Two, where Ed Sheeran, Ellie Goulding and Paolo Nutini join the party, to Alan Carr’s New Year Spectacular on Channel 4 at 9pm. There’s also a stellar line-up on The Graham Norton Show (BBC One, 10.15pm) and a look back at 2014 on ITV (9pm). Then on BBC One from 11.15pm, Queen play live next to Big Ben. ROALD DAHL’S ESIO TROT (NEW YEAR’S DAY, BBC1, 6.30PM)

■ See page 58 THE MUSKETEERS (FRI, JAN 2, BBC1, 9PM)

■ Alexandre Dumas’ legendary heroes are back for a new run of sword-slashing adventure, though fans will notice some differences in this second series. Doctor Who duties mean Peter Capaldi is no longer Cardinal Richelieu, but he has an equally dastardly replacement in Marc Warren. In the opener of series two, our heroes are sent to rescue the Cardinal’s man in Madrid, who has escaped from a Spanish prison.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 53

‘Filming at Alnwick Castle was the highlight of the year’

Hugh Bonneville has achieved global fame as Downton's Lord Grantham. He talks to Susan Griffin about the Christmas special

hristmas Day isn’t complete these days without Downton Abbey on the box, and viewers will no doubt be warmed to hear that, unlike last year, the upcoming special will be set during the Christmas period. “I think audiences will really enjoy this one. It has a lovely festive element to it,” says Hugh Bonneville, who plays the show’s patriarch, Lord Grantham. He’s keen not to divulge too much, but will reveal that “a chunk of” scenes have been shot at Alnwick Castle. “Highclere [Castle, where Downton is usually shot] is stunning to film in but, frankly, Alnwick Castle is huge. That was the highlight of the year,” says the London-born 51-year-old. “Harry Potter filmed exteriors there, but I believe it’s the first time cameras have been allowed inside. The Duke and Duchess of

54 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

Northumberland are huge fans, which is why they let us in.” And they’re not the only ones. Downton’s become something of a phenomenon since it first aired in 2010. “We knew something odd was going on when, after the launch of the show, when there’s usually a bit of a dip, the viewing figures went up. I’d never known that to happen and it just grew and grew.” But it was a playground encounter that really brought its popularity home to Bonneville. “A kid in my son’s school came up to me,” he recalls. “He was about nine and said, ‘I don’t like what that Thomas [Downton’s conniving footman] is doing’. I’d never, in a million years, thought it would appeal to those that young, but kids and grandparents are watching it together.” The actor has been working for more than

from Friday, December 19, 2014

20 years now, but it’s Downton that’s really made him a household name. Series six has already been commissioned, but Bonneville is aware it can’t run indefinitely. “It’s a unique show, in that it feels so big in scale, but it comes down to one person’s imagination; [writer and producer] Julian Fellowes.” And it has been a busy year for Bonneville. As well as reprising his role as the bumbling Ian Fletcher in W1A, Hollywood called with a role alongside George Clooney in war movie The Monuments Men and he also filmed Paddington, which was released in November. And fans will be please to know that it won’t be long before shooting begins on the sixth series of Downton. ■ Downton Abbey is on ITV on Christmas Day, 9pm.

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56 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Mon 22 Dec Tues 23 Dec Xmas Eve -Boxing Day Sat 27 Dec Sun 28 Dec Mon 29 - Wed 31 Dec New Years Day Fri 2 Jan

09:00–17:00 09:00–16:00 Closed 09:00–13:00 Closed 09:00–13:00 Closed 09:00–17:00

Is the Doctor on Santa’s naughty list? Doctor Who fan Nick Frost couldn’t contain his excitement when he landed a role in the show’s Christmas special, writes Jeananne Craig

ome actors might be a bit offended to be offered the part of roly-poly, white-bearded Santa Claus at the age of just 42, but Nick Frost isn’t one of them. The Hot Fuzz actor and Doctor Who fan was “chuffed to bits” to play Father Christmas in the show’s upcoming festive special, despite needing constant repainting of his bushy beard – “because my own ginger gene is so strong”. “I think being an English stocky actor, you’re eventually going to be cast as Santa and Henry VIII and Winston Churchill, so it’s just one of the three I’ve ticked off,” he admits. “It’s just ageing, isn’t it? It happens.” Besides, his Santa isn’t the cuddly, traditional, mince pie-muncher we know and love. He’s a bit meaner and moodier than that. “We [usually] only see one side of Father Christmas, which is the nice man giving out toys to good children. If you’re going to play him as a human being, he has to have every emotion, like we do. So you see him cross and you see him joyously happy and miffed,” Frost explains. “There is a lot of ‘Ho Ho Ho’ and some sleigh work, but we wanted to make him slightly edgy at points, a bit like a gangster, I guess. I wanted people to be kept in the dark as to what this man’s intentions are. Is he good, is he bad? Is he there to help the Doctor and Clara?” In fact, this Santa has some issues with the Doctor, which gave Frost the chance to spar

with Peter Capaldi. “I think me and Peter found a thing early on where, for whatever reason, our characters know each other,” says Frost. “They have history and beef, and it comes over in every scene we do.” Unfortunately, as usual when it comes to this long-running sci-fi classic, show-runner Steven Moffat is slightly obsessed with keeping his plots a secret in case spoilers leak out, so we won’t know what Santa and the Doctor are up to until we tune in on Christmas Day. The actor, who admits he had to “silence my internal fan-boy squeals” every day on set, approves of Capaldi’s depiction of the Doctor. “My age will tell you I’m a Tom Baker Doctor, but my passion for Doctor Who was reignited in the latter half of David Tennant’s reign. Then I loved Matt Smith, I thought he was amazing,” he gushes. “I like Peter very much as an actor, and then finding out he was becoming the Doctor and seeing him as Doctor Who, I think he’s fantastic.” Frost, who lives in London with his Swedish wife Christina and their three-year-old son, has revealed that he was delighted by his costume for the shoot. “The little glasses are the ones Richard Attenborough wore on Miracle On 34th Street [the 1994 version, in which the late star played Kris Kringle], which is kind of amazing,” he says, smiling. Frost was working as a waiter in a Mexican restaurant when a colleague introduced him to

her boyfriend, Simon Pegg, then a rising stand-up comedian. The pair struck up a friendship, and Frost later made his acting debut in Pegg’s Channel 4 sitcom, Spaced. More roles followed, including the films Shaun Of The Dead (2004), Hot Fuzz (2007) and Cuban Fury (2014). He and Pegg are still “best mates” and every Christmas Eve, Pegg sends Frost a photo of a bauble they bought together hanging on his Christmas tree (“the Peggs are massive Christmas people...”). But one thing Frost won’t be doing on December 25 is sitting down to watch Doctor Who with his son, whose name he likes to keep private. “I’m not going to let him watch it because I think it will blow his three-year-old mind. I don’t think he’ll understand or be able to separate that I’m not Father Christmas at this point,” Frost says. “During filming, at 7pm, I do FaceTime with him, and a couple of times I haven’t been able to wash the beard out in time, so I have to do it with the white beard and I can see him looking around to his mum to say, ‘What’s this all about?’” Frost junior is starting to work out what his dad does for a living, however. “If I’m on The One Show I’ll say hello to him, and he recognises me if I’m in a magazine,” Frost adds. ■ The Doctor Who Christmas special is on BBC1 on Christmas Day, 6.15pm

from Friday, December 19, 2014

●●●●● SEE IT 57

Hoffman and Dench star in Roald Dahl’s quirky love story

Love, gorgeous costumes, animal magic and Dame Judi Dench and Dustin Hoffman as the leads – could Esio Trot be the ultimate festive TV programme? Susan Griffin speaks to the acclaimed pair about bringing the Roald Dahl classic to the small screen

ame Judi Dench and Dustin Hoffman have their arms wrapped around one another in a world of their own as they slow dance to Louis Armstrong. It could be straight out of a movie, but it is, in fact, a re-enactment of one of their scenes in a new TV adaptation of the Roald Dahl children’s classic, Esio Trot. The dance is Hoffman’s idea, a gesture to show his co-star he’s improved somewhat since they shot the original moves. “I’m not a dancer,” admits the two-time Oscar winner, once they’ve taken their seats again. “I had a couple of lessons before we filmed and I thought, ‘I’m not going to be ready’. But then we had a lesson together and Dearbhla [Walsh, the director] became enchanted with the way we were naturally doing it. Besides, I’m not supposed to know how to dance, and this one can dance your socks off,” he says of a chuckling Dench. Published in 1990, Esio Trot tells the tale of Mr Hoppy (Hoffman), a kind but shy elderly gentleman who, for many years, has been in love with his flamboyant neighbour Mrs Silver (Dench). While they exchange pleasantries over the balcony, he’s far too timid to tell her how he really feels. But then Mr Hoppy discovers Mrs Silver’s greatest wish is for her pet tortoise Alfie to grow a little bigger, and he hatches a plan in an attempt to win her love. Unfortunately, someone else has designs on Mrs Silver’s heart, so Mr Hoppy needs to work

58 S E E I T ● ● ● ● ●

fast if he’s to win her over. “I knew the story because I’ve read it to many children,” says Yorkshire-born Dench. “And they did say Dustin Hoffman’s name,” she adds with a laugh, referring to how she was tempted into the project. “What I’ve liked most was boasting about doing it before we started, and now I go, ‘Oh yeah, I know him...’.” Dench, also an Oscar winner, is being modest, of course, and Hoffman recalls being bowled over by her performance in 1997’s Mrs Brown. “I saw it in the States and I was so moved by her performance [as Queen Victoria], I got her phone number and called her,” reveals the 77-year-old. “I was going on and on about how brilliant I thought she was in the film and she kept trying to interrupt me, but I kept going, and finally she said, ‘I really have to be on stage now’.” They both start laughing at the memory and, given their easy rapport, it’s no wonder Walsh has likened their genuine affection for each other to the relationship that plays out on screen. “Dustin’s naturally a very shy person, surprisingly, and Judi is so naughty and has such a sense of fun. It’s a real-life love story, I think,” notes the film-maker. Hoffman might be the quieter one of the pair, but he does boast a dry sense of humour. Asked if they socialised much during the shoot, he says: “I don’t socialise when I’m working. I don’t socialise when I’m not working. Other than that, I love people.” Fortunately for the actor, he had to spend

from Friday, December 19, 2014

most of the shoot at Pinewood Studio in the company of 60-plus tortoises rather than people. “You’ve never smelled anything like it,” he says. “That was the real thing, no CGI for us.” Fortunately, he’s a fan of the slow-movers. “I’ve had two tortoises. One made it under the [garden] fence and out to the traffic, got run over and had to be put down. The other one survived. I got him on my 70th birthday.” An animal lover, Dench reveals her family were adamant she’d come home with a tortoise in tow. “And I said, ‘No I won’t, because a tortoise won’t come running towards you when you get in the door’, but I did get quite fond of the little tortoise Alfie.” The story was adapted by Richard Curtis, along with his Vicar Of Dibley co-writer Paul Mayhew-Archer. Curtis, who penned romantic comedies Four Weddings And A Funeral and Love Actually, has talked about the fulfilment of writing a love story about an older couple: “Writing for people who have presumed they won’t find love makes it more dramatic,” he said. Dench, 80, believes age is but a number, “something that’s imposed on you”. “You’re only as old as you feel and it makes me go absolutely spare when people say, ‘Are you going to retire?’ I don’t want to be told I’m too old for something; I want to try it first.” ■ Esio Trot is on BBC1 on New Year’s Day at 6.30pm.

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 59

RIK MAYALL: LORD OF MISRULE 10.05pm, BBC2

TV PICKS

STRICTLY COME DANCING 6.30pm, BBC1

Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman host the live grand final, which sees the four remaining couples performing two routines each.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen (S,HD). 11.30 Nigel Slater’s Christmas Suppers (R,S,HD). 12.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 12.10 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.50 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 2.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.00 Film: Kung Fu Panda (S,HD) (2008). ●●● 4.25 Final Score (S,HD). 5.20 Regional News (S,HD). 5.40 Pointless Celebrities: Christmas Special (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Comedian and actor Rik Mayall died suddenly in June, but left a body of work that spanned four decades and was a blend of rocket-fuelled physical comedy, surrealism, subversive satire and pompous punk wit. Narrated by Simon Callow, this documentary celebrates Mayall’s part in British comedy history.

BBC2

6.00 CBBC. 11.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 12.00 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin (R,S,HD). 12.50 Film: The World’s Fastest Indian (S) (2005). Fact-based drama, starring Anthony Hopkins. ●●●● 2.45 Flog It! (S,HD). From Todmorden, West Yorkshire. 3.45 Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom (R,S,HD). 4.45 Film: Nativity! (S,HD) (2009). Comedy, starring Martin Freeman. ●●●

REWIND THE CHRISTMAS HITS 8pm, Channel 4

CELEBRITY SQUARES 6pm, ITV

With new performances, surprise reunions and candid interviews, this 90-minute special uncovers the stories behind the UK’s favourite festive hits through the decades.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 Film: Columbo: Etude in Black (S,HD) (1972). ●●● 11.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.30 Surprise Surprise (R,S,HD). 12.30 Film: Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (S,HD) (1995). Family adventure, starring Jason James Richter. ●● 2.25 The Nation’s Favourite Christmas Song (R,S). 3.50 Film: Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (S,HD) (2007). Fantasy comedy, starring Dustin Hoffman. ●● 5.35 Regional News (S). 5.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

Former I’m a Celebrity contestants Ashley Roberts and David Haye, actor Reece Shearsmith, TV presenters Andi Peters and Sandi Toksvig, and comedians Stewart Francis and Bridget Christie join regulars Tim Vine and Joe Wilkinson in the grid, helping contestants win cash prizes. Warwick Davis hosts.

Channel 4

6.10 Trans World Sport (S,HD). 7.05 The Grid (S,HD). 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 7.55 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Weekend Kitchen (S,HD). 10.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11.50 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.45 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 1.40 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Ascot and Haydock Park. 4.00 Channel 4 News (S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.45 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). 11.45 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). New series. The opening round of the Giants Live qualifiers. 12.45 Film: Deck the Halls (S,HD) (2006). Christmas comedy, starring Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick. ●● 2.35 Film: Mr Miracle (S,HD) (2014). Premiere. Fantasy comedy, starring Rob Morrow. ●●● 4.25 Film: Naughty or Nice (S) (2012). Premiere. Festive fantasy, starring Hilarie Burton. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

▼

7.55 Atlantis (S,HD). 6/13. See Choices Above.

8.40 The National Lottery Live (S,HD). The results of the Lotto and Thunderball draws. 8.50 Strictly Come Dancing: The Results (S,HD). 14/14. Tess and Claudia announce the viewers’ favourite, who will be following in the dance steps of last year’s winner Abbey Clancy. Plus, a musical performance. Last in the series.

▼

6.05 The Wish List (S,HD) (2010). Romantic comedy, with Jennifer Esposito and David Sutcliffe. ●●●

▼

The Best of The Joan ... 11.05pm

6.00 Mission: Impossible (S,HD) (1996). A secret agent is accused of betraying his fellow spies, and sets out on a mission to clear his name. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, with Tom Cruise and Jon Voight. Edited for language and violence. ●●●●

8.35 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 1/10. New series. Distinguished graduates of Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford, and the University of Warwick compete.

7.00 Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince (S,HD) (2009). The wizard must uncover the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past to try to end the evil sorcerer’s reign of terror. Fantasy adventure sequel, with Daniel Radcliffe and Michael Gambon. ●●●●

7.50 5 News (S). 7.55 Scrooge (S,HD) (1970). See Choices Above. ●●●●

8.00 Rewind the Christmas Hits (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.30 Four Christmases (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●

9.05 QI XL (S,HD). 14/16. Festive edition from 2013, with Jo Brand, Phill Jupitus and Brendan O’Carroll. 9.35 Blackadder II (R,S). 1/6. Edmund takes in a young lad as his manservant.

10.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.20 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League clashes, including Manchester City v Crystal Palace and Aston Villa v Manchester United. Followed by National Lottery Update.

10.05 Rik Mayall: Lord of Misrule (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 The Jonathan Ross Show Christmas Special (S,HD). 10/10. With BGT judge David Walliams, actress Barbara Windsor, F1 champion Lewis Hamilton, comedian Jimmy Carr, singer Ed Sheeran and Frozen star Idina Menzel. Last in the series.

11.45 The Football League Show (S). Highlights of the latest games in the Championship, League One and League Two.

11.05 The Young Ones (R,S). 5/6. The four students decide to throw a party. 11.40 Youth in Revolt (S,HD) (2009). Comedy, starring Michael Cera. ●●●

11.30 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.45 Bette Midler: One Night Only (R,S,HD). The multiple Grammy winner’s first-ever UK TV special.

11.15 Wanderlust (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. Comedy, starring Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd. ●●●

11.05 The Best of The Joan Rivers Position (S). Highlights from the American comedienne’s show in which she acted as an agony aunt.

1.05 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 1.10 BBC News (S,HD).

1.05 Sign Zone: Canterbury Cathedral (R,S). A year in the life of the home of the Anglican church. 2.05 Sign Zone: Wonders of the Monsoon (R,S). The winds turn dry and bring drought. 3.05 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.45 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

1.10 Film: Devil (S,HD) (2010). Horror, starring Chris Messina. ●●● 2.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 4.40 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). Two friends agree to have their eating habits scrutinised 24 hours a day. 5.30 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD). John Barrowman observes sick pets being treated.

12.05 Jason Manford Live (S,HD). 1.25 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Gotham (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Make It Big (R,S). 5.15 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

9ct Jewellery Silver earrings Silver Pendants Bulova Watches Seiko Solar Watches Rotary Watches 60 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

10.10 Rob Brydon Live (R,S). See Choices Above.

Happy Christmas to all our customers

©LW

after

Channel 4 Racing, 1.40pm

6.00 Celebrity Squares (S,HD). 7/7. See Choices Above.

▼

Bette Midler: One Night ... 11.45pm

6.30 The Good Life (R,S). Margo and Jerry spend Christmas with Tom and Barbara. 6.55 John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely (R,S). A portrait of the actor’s life. 7.55 Dad’s Army (R,S). 7/8. Frazer is unable to hide his delight when Captain Mainwaring’s disreputable brother gatecrashes a sherry party for local dignitaries.

▼

Christmas University ... 8.35pm

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing (S,HD). 14/14. See Choices Above.

▼

6 7 8 9

Match of the Day, 10.20pm

0117 9568112, 4 Broad Street, Staple Hill

ROB BRYDON LIVE 10.10pm, Channel 5

Having established himself with performances as a taxi driver in spoof documentary Marion and Geoff and Uncle Bryn in hit sitcom Gavin & Stacey, comedian and actor Rob Brydon embarked on his first stand-up tour of the UK in 2009. This show was recorded at Norwichâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Theatre Royal.

Jason (Jack Donnelly) feels guilty about Ariadne and resolves to do all he can to save her, embarking on a dangerous quest that brings him face to face with Medea and Pasiphae once more.

ITV2

6.10 Christmas Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 6.35 Emmerdale (S,HD). 9.20 Coronation Street (S,HD). 11.20 The Cube: Celebrity Special (R,S,HD). 12.20 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a Celeb: Stars of Oz (R,S,HD). 1.25 Film: Secret Santa (S,HD) (2003). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.15 Film: Santa Baby (S,HD) (2006). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.10 Film: Tim Burtonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Nightmare Before Christmas (S,HD) (1993). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 7.40 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11.00 Olive, the Other Reindeer (R,S). 12.00 Famous Fred (R,S). 12.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 1.00 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.00 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 5.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old? (R,S,HD). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 10.00 Soccer AM. 12.00 WWE Superstars (HD). 1.00 Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Special (R,S). 1.30 Exodus: Gods & Kings (S). 2.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 3.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 5.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2014 (R,S).

FILM PICKS

ATLANTIS 7.55pm, BBC1

FOUR CHRISTMASES 9.30pm, Channel 4

A couple struggle to make it through four family Christmases on the same day. Comedy, starring Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon and Robert Duvall.

GOLD

7.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp (S). 7.30 Last of the Summer Wine. 8.10 The Two Ronnies. 9.00 Yes Minister (S). 10.25 Last of the Summer Wine. 11.15 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp (S). 11.45 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 12.50 Last of the Summer Wine. 1.30 The Two Ronnies. 2.20 Yes Minister (S). 3.55 Last of the Summer Wine. 4.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 5.20 My Family Christmas Special (S).

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Predator, 10pm

My Family ... 5.20pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 1/22. Homer recalls his musical heyday. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22.

6.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 8/8. Feature-length episode. The Trotters dabble in the diamond import business.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). Harry Hill presents. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). Festive bloopers.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 20/24. Raj discovers a secret about Howard.

7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 9/24. Granger is poisoned by the mole, prompting Hetty to order a lockdown.

8.00 Tomorrow Never Dies (S,HD) (1997). James Bond battles to stop a media mogulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan to start a war between Britain and China. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce, Teri Hatcher and Michelle Yeoh. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. Raj prepares for a date with Emily. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24. The gang celebrates Star Wars Day.

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S). 9/22. Max is forced to work with a rival medical examiner after a cowboy is poisoned, while McGarrett pressures Danny into stealing a Christmas tree.

9.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 23/24. Penny gets fired from the movie. 9.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24. Sheldon is upset about his career.

9.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 5/12. Former Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher, funnyman Jimmy Carr and Sky Sports presenter Kirsty Gallacher join in the fun on the sports quiz, hosted by James Corden.

Celebrity Juice ... 10.25pm

10.25 Celebrity Juice: Bestest Bits 2014 (R,S,HD). Keith Lemon and team captains Gino Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Acampo and Fearne Cotton look back at the comedy quiz showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highlights from 2014.

10.00 Kick-Ass (S,HD) (2010). A teenager tries to become a superhero, but finds real-life crimefighting much more dangerous than in comics. Action comedy, starring Aaron TaylorJohnson and Chloe Grace Moretz. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Football League Gold (HD). 6.15 Football Gold (S). 6.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 7.00 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview (S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). 2.30 Live PRO12 Rugby Union (HD). . 5.00 FL72 Live (HD). Nottingham Forest v Leeds United (Kick-off 5.15pm).

FL72 Live, 12pm

7.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 13/16. A look at Brian Cloughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nottingham Forest side from the mid to late 1970s. 8.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). Rodney dates the daughter of the Duke of Maylebury, and Del sees the chance for the family to marry into the aristocracy. Christmas special from 1986.

A miserly man is taught the error of his ways by a host of spectral visitors. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; A Christmas Carol, with Albert Finney.

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). Matt Smithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doctor faces his final battle in the 2013 Christmas special. 8.05 Top Gear Botswana Special (R,S). The presenters face a challenge in Botswana. 9.05 Sherlock (R,S,HD). The detective takes on a master blackmailer. Last in the series. 10.35 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). Comedy sets by Jon Richardson, Sara Pascoe and Nathan Caton. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.50 Family Guy (R,S).

12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.35 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 1.30 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.00 Siblings (R,S,HD). 2.30 Siblings (R,S,HD). 3.00 (R,S,HD). 3.30 8.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Game of the Day Siblings Some Girls (R,S,HD).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top Premier League match.

10.00 Porridge (S). 7/8. Fletch 10.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice 10.00 Predator (S) (1987). discovers fellow inmates A military team on a (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee at Slade Prison are mission in a Central presents extended planning an escape over American jungle highlights from the Christmas, and is encounters a merciless Premier League, convinced it is doomed. alien hunter in search of allowing viewers to Festive edition of the human prey. Sci-fi access the latest round of comedy from 1975, with thriller, with Arnold top-flight fixtures, Ronnie Barker. Schwarzenegger and including Aston Villa v Carl Weathers. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Manchester United.

BBC4

7.00 Polar Bear: Spy on the Ice (R,HD). Hidden cameras capture the intimate lives of polar bears. 8.00 Icebound: The Greatest Dog Story Ever Told (R,HD). A remarkable dogsledding journey. 9.00 Inspector Montalbano (R). The detective investigates the abduction of a racehorse and delves into the elegant world of horse racing, via illegal betting rackets organised by the Mafia. 10.40 The Old Grey Whistle Test: 70s Gold (R). Archive performances from the BBC music series, featuring Elton John. 12.10 Kings of Rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Roll (R). 1.10 Rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Roll Britannia (R). 2.15 The Fight for Saturday Night (R,HD).

SATURDAY December 20

11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 11.30 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice 1/6. Alan tries to save his (HD). Extended career. highlights from the 11.40 Knowing Me, Premier League. Knowing You â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Alan Partridge (S). 1/6. Spoof chat show.

11.25 The Office Xmas Party (R,S,HD). 1/3. Reality programme following three businesses as they prepare for their Christmas parties. 12.25 The Office Xmas Party (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Office Xmas Party (R,S,HD). 2.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 3.00 Tricked (R,S,HD). 3.50 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 4.15 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 4.40 Christmas Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

Sky Sports 1

SCROOGE 7.55pm, Channel 5

12.20 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 2.00 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 2.30 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R,S). 3.25 Rude Tubeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas Cracker 2013 (R,S,HD). 4.15 The 100 (R,S,HD). Clarke and Finn end up in a dangerous situation.

12.05 Dumb and Dumber To Special. 12.35 Chickens (R,S,HD). 1.05 Chickens (R,S,HD). 1.30 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.20 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 3.10 Night Cops (R,S,HD). 4.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD). 5.00 Mission Implausible (R,S,HD).

12.20 Knowing Me, Knowing You â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Alan Partridge (S). 1.00 The Paul Calf Video Diary (S). 1.35 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.05 Knowing Me, Knowing You â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Alan Partridge (S). 2.35 Knowing Me, Knowing You â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Alan Partridge (S). 3.10 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 3.35 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

1.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 1.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 1.45 Football Gold (S). 2.00 Football Gold (S). 2.15 Football Gold (S). 2.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 3.00 Football Gold (S). 3.15 Football Gold (S). 3.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 4.00 Football Gold (S,HD).

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) & from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 61

TV PICKS

THE APPRENTICE 9pm, BBC1

The two finalists launch their businesses in a task to determine the winner, after which Dara O Briain speaks to the main players in the You’re Hired studio. Last in the series.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.30 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 Fern Britton Meets the Rev Richard Coles (S,HD). 11.00 Escape to the Continent (S,HD). 11.30 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 12.30 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD). 1.30 Film: Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (S,HD) (1993). ●●● 3.15 Film: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (S,HD) (2005). ●●●● 5.25 Songs of Praise (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

JAMIE’S CRACKING CHRISTMAS 6pm, Channel 4

Jamie Oliver whips up a selection of festive, easily prepared dishes in his own kitchen, showing viewers how to impress friends and family with a menu full of delicious treats. Recipes for some of the chef’s personal favourites, including beef Wellington and roast goose with all the trimmings.

BBC2

6.35 Natural World: Butterflies – A Very British Obsession (R,S,HD). 7.35 Film: African Cats (S,HD) (2011). ●●● 9.05 The Football League Show (R,S). 10.25 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.55 Mary Berry’s Absolute Christmas Favourites (R,S,HD). 12.55 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin (R,S,HD). 1.45 Live Equestrian (S,HD). 4.30 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em (R,S). 5.15 Flog It! (S,HD). 5.55 Film: The Terminal (S,HD) (2004). ●●●

YOU’VE GOT TO LOVE CHRISTMAS 7pm, ITV

Jane Horrocks narrates a comic trawl through the TV archives, guiding viewers through the pitfalls and perils of the festive season, with contributions from famous faces.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 10.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 10.35 Film: Death on the Nile (S,HD) (1978). ●●● 1.20 Film: Columbo: A Stitch in Crime (S,HD) (1973). Detective drama, with Peter Falk and Leonard Nimoy. ●●● 2.50 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars (R,S,HD). 3.50 The Chase (R,S,HD). 4.45 Film: Casper (S,HD) (1995). Supernatural family comedy, starring Christina Ricci. ●●●●

SURPRISE SURPRISE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 8pm, ITV

A charitable 10-year-old girl is whisked off to Canada to visit the set of Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb and interview the film’s stars, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Ricky Gervais, Steve Coogan and Dan Stevens. Also on the show, a mother is reunited with her long-lost son.

Channel 4

6.00 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 6.10 NFL: The American Football Show (R,S,HD). 7.10 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.25 Frasier (R,S). 8.55 Jamie’s Comfort Food (R,S,HD). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S,HD). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00 Channel 4 News (S). 4.10 Film: Bugsy Malone (S,HD) (1976). Musical gangster comedy, starring Scott Baio. ●●●●●

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.30 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). 11.30 The Muppets and Lady Gaga at Christmas (R,S,HD). 12.40 Film: It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (S) (2002). Festive comedy, with Joan Cusack and Whoopi Goldberg. ●● 2.25 Film: The Christmas Shepherd (S) (2014). Premiere. Drama, starring Teri Polo. ●●● 4.10 Film: The Family Man (S) (2000). Drama, starring Nicolas Cage. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11 after

7.00 Men in Black 3 (S,HD) (2012). See Choices Above. ●●●

▼

7.00 You’ve Got to Love Christmas (S,HD). See Choices Above.

6.30 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 6.35 Space Cowboys (S,HD) (2000). An ageing former test pilot is called on to stop a malfunctioning Soviet satellite from crashing to Earth. Adventure, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. With Tommy Lee Jones. Part of Clint Eastwood Night. Edited for language and flashing images. ●●●●

▼

The Muppets and Lady ... 11.30am

6.00 Jamie’s Cracking Christmas (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). Festive items including how to make Georgian-style mince pies and the history of cards and crackers. Including Weather for the Week Ahead.

▼

Jamie’s Cracking Christmas, 6pm

6.35 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 12/27. Fiona Bruce presents highlights and updates on items that have appeared over the past few months, including a piece of Banksy art and a Status Quo tapestry.

8.00 Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. A British fisheries expert is hired to undertake an Arab sheik’s plan to introduce salmon fishing to his country. Comedy drama, starring Ewan McGregor. ●●●

8.00 Surprise Surprise Christmas Special (S,HD). 8/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Apprentice (S,HD). 14/14. See Choices Above.

9.40 QI XL (S,HD). 11/16. Extended edition. With David Mitchell, Ronni Ancona and Jimmy Carr.

9.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S,HD). 1/5. Christmas is coming and Barnaby is soon to be a father, but the festive mood changes when a man is stabbed to death with an antique sword during a ghost-hunting party.

▼

10.25 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD). Mark Chapman reviews the latest Premier League action, featuring Newcastle United v Sunderland at St James’ Park and Liverpool v Arsenal at Anfield.

9.00 Homeland (S,HD). 11/12. See Choices Above.

9.00 Gran Torino (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●●●

10.00 Rewind the Christmas Hits (R,S,HD). With new performances, surprise reunions and candid interviews, this 90-minute special uncovers the stories behind the UK’s favourite festive hits through the decades.

▼

Midsomer Murders, 9pm

11.00 Regional News (S,HD). 11.25 Have I Got a Bit More 2014 News for You (S,HD). 11/11. A compilation of highlights from this year’s editions. Last in the series.

11.25 The Sarah Millican Slightly Longer Christmas Television Programme (R,S,HD). Extended edition. With Phillip Schofield, Judy Parfitt and Helen George.

11.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 11.15 Vicious (R,S,HD). 11.45 Premiership Rugby Union (S,HD). Highlights of the latest matches in English rugby’s topflight competition.

11.35 The IT Crowd: The Internet Is Coming (R,S,HD). Roy and Jen’s reputations are put at risk in the final episode.

11.15 Unforgiven (S,HD) (1992). Two gunslingers help a bounty hunter kill a pair of cowboys who attacked a prostitute. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. ●●●●●

▼

6 7 8 9

The Sarah Millican ... 11.25pm

6.05 Regional News (S,HD). 6.30 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 1/10. New series. With Emma Barton, Zoe Lyons, Tony Marshall and Jamie Baulch.

▼

Antiques Roadshow, 8pm

12.10 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 12.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.05 Film: Serendipity (S,HD) (2001). Romantic drama, starring Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack. ●●● 1.30 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). The team is in the Clwydian range in north Wales. 2.30 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Zosia gets emotionally involved with a terminally ill patient. 3.30 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.45 The Store. Home shopping. 2.30 Motorsport UK (S,HD). Highlights from Brands Hatch. 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.05 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.30 Peep Show (R,S,HD). Mark invites his parents over for Christmas lunch. 1.00 American Football Live (S,HD). Arizona Cardinals v Seattle Seahawks (Kick-off 1.30am). 4.45 NFL: Rush Zone (S,HD). Animation about a young American football fan. 5.10 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD). 5.35 Countdown (R,S,HD). With David Baddiel in Dictionary Corner.

1.45 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Make It Big (R,S). 5.15 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

Thinking of Fostering? Could you help children and young people rebuild their lives? Foster carers are urgently required in the South West

62 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

In the penultimate episode of the US thriller about a troubled and unorthodox CIA agent, Carrie is forced to put her life on the line to get her team out of Pakistan. Starring Claire Danes and Mandy Patinkin.

ITV2

6.00 McBusted: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 8.50 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 10.50 The X Factor: Your Top Ten (R,S,HD). 11.50 The X Factor Class of 2014 (R,S). 12.55 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 1.55 Film: Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (S,HD) (2011). ●●● 3.45 Ant & Dec’s Christmas Show (R,S). 5.00 Film: The Polar Express (S,HD) (2004). ●●●

BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER 9pm, Sky1

A countdown of the 26 greatest festive films, featuring contributions from celebrity fans including Jim Carrey, Ashley Jensen, Jonathan Ross and Warwick Davis, and stories from cast members including Zach Galligan (Gremlins), Mara Wilson (Miracle on 34th Street) and Daniel Stern (Home Alone).

6.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.30 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). Sam puts his relationship with Tiff in jeopardy. 1.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.30 Film: The Spy Next Door (S,HD) (2010). Comedy, starring Jackie Chan. ●●● 4.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

Sky1

7.00 Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old? (R,S,HD). 8.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 9.30 Penguins of Madagascar Special (R,S). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R,HD). 11.00 WWE: Experience (HD). 12.00 Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?! Special (R). 12.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 1.30 The Bachelor King (R,S,HD). 3.00 Penguins of Madagascar Special (R). 3.30 Film: March of the Penguins (HD) (2005). ●●●● 5.00 We Love Penguins (HD).

FILM PICKS

HOMELAND 9pm, Channel 4

GRAN TORINO 9pm, Channel 5

Premiere. A misanthropic Korean War veteran is drawn into protecting a teenager and his family. Drama, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood.

GOLD

7.00 Butterflies (S). 7.40 Ripping Yarns (S). 8.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 9.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 10.00 Steptoe and Son (S). 11.00 My Family Christmas Special (S). 12.20 The Two Ronnies. 1.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.30 Porridge (S). 5.25 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff. Christmas special of the Dickensian comedy.

Rude Tube’s ... 10.05pm

Best Christmas ... 9pm

Only Fools and Horses, 6.45pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/17. Sheldon loses his job. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/17.

6.00 The Simpsons (S,HD). 8/22. 6.30 Futurama (S,HD). 8/13. Bender is robbed of most of his body parts.

7.00 The Xtra Factor Winner’s Story 2014 (S). Sarah-Jane Crawford looks at the story of this year’s champion.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24. Penny considers breaking up with Leonard.

7.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 8/22. The first of two crossover episodes between The Flash and Arrow.

6.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1987 in which Del sets out to find his dear departed mother’s treasure trove. Comedy, guest starring Joan Sims, with David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst.

8.00 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). Harry Hill serves up a crop of festive bloopers recorded by viewers on camcorders and mobile phones.

8.00 Edward Scissorhands (S,HD) (1990). A lonely man-made boy with scissor-like hands is befriended by suburban townspeople – but they later turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder. Edited for language and violence. ●●●●●

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 7/24. Gloria announces she wants Manny to learn Spanish. 8.30 Trollied (R,S,HD). 5/8. Rose and Margaret get a blast from the past.

The Xtra Factor ... 7pm

9.00 The Holiday (S,HD) (2006). Two single women from opposite sides of the Atlantic find love after they swap houses over Christmas. Romantic comedy, with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, Jack Black and Jude Law. ●●

9.00 Best Christmas Movies Ever (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.10 Only Fools and Horses (S). Del-Boy embarks on a new romance with Raquel, an actress he meets through a computer dating agency. Feature-length Christmas special from 1988, starring David Jason.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 7.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 8.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 8.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). 12.30 Live Ford Super Sunday (HD). 3.30 Live Ford Super Sunday (HD). Liverpool v Arsenal (Kick-off 4.00pm).

Live Super Sunday, 12.30pm

7.00 One More for Bobby (HD). Robbie Elliot cycles around Europe visiting all of the clubs that were managed by Bobby Robson. 8.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). Ben Shephard and Chris Kamara present a review of Saturday’s football action, featuring goals from the Premier League. 9.30 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). A chance to relive the best of Alan Shearer’s 260 goals in the Premier League.

10.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.00 Ford Football Special 8/8. The villagers (HD). Newcastle United v celebrate Christmas, and Sunderland and vicar Geraldine learns Liverpool v Arsenal. The there is a heavy price to key moments from the be paid for festive Premier League matches kindness when she at St James’ Park and agrees to attend three Anfield respectively. slap-up lunches.

10.05 Rude Tube’s Christmas Cracker 2013 (R,S,HD). Alex Zane presents a countdown of 50 memorable festive internet videos.

11.45 Release the Hounds: Jingle Hell (R,S,HD). Charity special, with Diversity dancers Ashley Banjo, Perri Kiely and Jordan Banjo.

11.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 11.05 The Inbetweeners 11.00 Karl Pilkington: The 2/6. (R,S). 3/6. Simon faces a Moaning of Life dilemma. (R,S,HD). 1/5. Karl 11.40 Knowing Me, Pilkington travels the Knowing You – With 11.40 The Inbetweeners world to answer some of Alan Partridge (S). 3/6. (R,S). 6/6. The gang goes life’s biggest questions. Guests include Europe’s on a camping trip. sexiest dance act.

11.30 One More for Bobby (HD). Robbie Elliot cycles around Europe visiting clubs once managed by Bobby Robson.

12.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.15 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Office Xmas Party (R,S,HD). 2.30 Tricked (R,S,HD). 3.20 Tricked (R,S,HD). 4.10 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 4.35 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 4.55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

12.10 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R,S). 1.20 Bad Robots (R,S,HD). 1.50 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.20 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.40 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.25 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD).

12.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). Superhero adventure, starring Grant Gustin. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 3.30 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 4.00 Mission Implausible (R,S,HD). 5.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD).

1.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 2.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). 3.30 One2Eleven: Larsson and Baresi (HD). 3.45 One2Eleven: Gudjohnsen and Matthaus (HD). 4.00 Football League Gold (HD). 4.15 Football Gold (S). 4.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). 5.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Comedy, starring Steve Coogan. 1.00 Three Fights, Two Weddings and a Funeral (S). 1.35 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 2.05 Knowing Me, Knowing You – With Alan Partridge (S). 2.35 Saxondale (S). 3.10 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.35 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

MEN IN BLACK 3 7pm, Channel 4

Premiere. A secret agent goes back in time and teams up with a young version of his mentor. Sci-fi comedy sequel, with Will Smith and Josh Brolin.

BBC3

7.00 Cars (S,HD) (2006). Pixar animated adventure, with the voice of Paul Newman. ●●● 8.50 Top Gear Bolivia Special (R,S,HD). The team uses second-hand 4x4s to negotiate the Amazon basin and reach Chile. 10.10 Bad Education (R,S,HD). The school holds a swimming gala. 10.40 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Angry baby Stewie finds himself reborn into a British household. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 12.40 Cuckoo (R,S,HD). 1.10 Cuckoo (R,S,HD). 1.35 Cuckoo (R,S,HD). 2.05 Cuckoo (R,S,HD). 2.35 Cuckoo (R,S,HD). 3.00 Cuckoo (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bad Education (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 The Fir Tree (R,HD). 7.30 Tales of Winter: The Art of Snow and Ice (R,HD). How the season has been depicted by Western painters. 9.00 Sammy Davis Jr: The Kid in the Middle (HD). Documentary charting the rise and fall of the entertainer. 10.00 An Evening with Sammy Davis Jr (R,HD). A compilation of the entertainer’s performances for the BBC. 11.00 Imagine – Bette Midler: The Divine Miss M (R,HD). Alan Yentob meets the singer and actress. 12.15 Sammy Davis Jr: The Kid in the Middle (R,HD). 1.15 An Evening with Sammy Davis Jr (R,HD). 2.15 Imagine – Bette Midler: The Divine Miss M (R,HD). 3.30 The Fir Tree (R,HD).

SUNDAY December 21

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©LW

from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 63

TV PICKS

TSUNAMI: SURVIVORS’ STORIES 9pm, ITV

GADGET MAN’S GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS 8pm, Channel 4

People caught up in the Boxing Day 2004 tsunami reveal how their lives have unfolded a decade on from the tragedy.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: Race to Witch Mountain (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 10.35 Film: Old Dogs (S,HD) (2009). Comedy, starring John Travolta and Robin Williams. ●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (S,HD) (2008). ●●● 4.00 Film: Cinderella (S,HD) (1950). Premiere. Disney animated fairytale. ●●●● 5.15 Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Richard Ayoade presents a gadget-packed guide to the festive season, joined by techno-loving celebrity friends including Jonathan Ross, Stephen Merchant and Adam Hills to reveal new ways of doing the Christmas shopping, surviving the winter weather, cooking Christmas dinner and even wrapping gifts.

BBC2

6.25 Sign Zone: Mary Berry’s Absolute Christmas Favourites (R,S). 7.25 Canterbury Cathedral (R,S,HD). 8.25 Film: The Bishop’s Wife (S) (1947). ●●●● 10.10 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 11.10 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.10 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin (R,S,HD). 1.50 Coast Australia (R,S,HD). 2.40 A Place to Call Home (S,HD). 4.10 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em (R,S). 5.00 Flog It! (S,HD).

JOHN BISHOP’S CHRISTMAS SHOW 9pm, BBC1

MICHAEL BUBLE’S CHRISTMAS 2014 9pm, Channel 5

The funnyman presents an evening of entertainment from the Dominion Theatre in London, featuring Jack Whitehall, Jason Byrne, Katherine Ryan, George Ezra and Ella Henderson.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Speakmans (R,S,HD). 10.20 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 11.20 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 12.20 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 1.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.50 Regional News (S). 1.55 Big Star’s Little Star (R,S,HD). 2.55 Film: The Railway Children (S,HD) (1970). Period family drama, starring Jenny Agutter. ●●●●● 5.00 The Cube: Christmas Special (R,S,HD).

The Canadian crooner’s fourth Christmas special sees him take to the stage of Radio City Music Hall in New York City, with guest appearances by Barbra Streisand, Ariana Grande, Miss Piggy and the Rockettes. The music features festive classics such as It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

Channel 4

6.20 The King of Queens (R,S). 7.10 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 7.35 Frasier (R,S). 8.35 Film: The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (S) (1991). ●● 10.15 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11.15 The Simpsons (R,S). 11.50 Film: White Christmas (S,HD) (1954). ●●●●● 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal: Merry Christmas (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me Christmas Special (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.55 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). 10.55 My Crazy Christmas Obsession (R,S,HD). 11.55 Film: The Flight Before Christmas (S) (2008). ●●● 1.25 Film: Harry and the Hendersons (S,HD) (1987). ●● 3.35 Film: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (S,HD) (2006). Family comedy, with the voice of Bill Murray. ●●● 5.05 Film: Christmas with the Kranks (S) (2004). Festive comedy, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Tim Allen. ●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.55 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). The second round of the Giants Live qualifiers. Followed by 5 News Update.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity pays the price for her Christmas party at Butler’s Farm. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Tony and Tracy agree to keep quiet about what happened.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

8.00 Countrywise (S,HD). 7/8. The island of Lundy, a pea harvest and a unique mussel farm. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Callum tells Kylie she will be seeing more of him.

8.00 Gadget Man’s Guide to Christmas (S). See Choices Above.

8.00 The Railway: First Great Western (S,HD). A 300-strong army of engineers work to keep to the timetable as the deadline approaches for the reopening of the mainline at Dawlish. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Tsunami: Survivors’ Stories (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Food Unwrapped’s Christmas Dinner (S,HD). Jimmy Doherty, Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt travel the globe visiting factories, farmers and producers who make the ingredients for popular Christmas food.

9.00 Michael Buble’s Christmas 2014 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

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The Railway: First Great ... 8pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/23. Homer is possessed. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Theresa grows suspicious about Dodger’s whereabouts.

▼

Food Unwrapped’s Christmas ... 9pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

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Emmerdale, 7pm

6.00 Eggheads (R,S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 The Great British Bake Off Christmas Masterclass (R,S,HD). 16/16. Recipes by Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood. 7.30 TOTP2: Christmas 2014 (S,HD). Mark Radcliffe presents festive performances from the Top of the Pops archive, including classics by Slade, Wham!, Wizzard, East 17, Mud, the Jackson 5 and Johnny Mathis.

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 2/10. With Ken Dodd. 7.30 A Question of Sport: Christmas Special (S,HD). Festive edition of the lighthearted quiz, with Sue Barker. 8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Stacey pushes Linda about why she is so awkward around Dean. 8.30 Would I Lie to You? at Christmas (S,HD). With Ray Winstone, Josh Widdicombe, Rachel Riley and Ricky Tomlinson. 9.00 John Bishop’s Christmas Show (S,HD). See Choices Above.

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9.00 The Wrong Mans (S,HD). 1&2/4. See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.35 Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD). Agnes agrees to stage a nativity play at the community centre.

10.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks (S,HD). 12/13. With Louis Walsh, Glen Matlock, Lloyd Langford and Melissa Steel. 10.30 Brian Pern: A Life In Rock (S,HD). 3/3. The musician records a charity record in aid of bi-polar polar bears. Last in the series.

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10 11

TOTP2: Christmas 2014, 7.30pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

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6 7 8 9

Celebrity Mastermind, 7pm

11.05 Citizen Khan (R,S,HD). 7/7. Mr Khan is chosen to place the star on the Sparkhill Christmas tree. 11.35 The Graham Norton Show (R,S,HD). 12/13. With Ben Stiller, Ricky Gervais, Jamie Foxx, Cameron Diaz and Danny Dyer.

11.00 Andy Parsons: Slacktivist (S,HD). A 2013 stand-up performance by the comedian.

12.20 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Film: Chances Are (S,HD) (1989). Romantic comedy, with Cybill Shepherd and Robert Downey Jr. ●●● 1.45 Sign Zone: The Apprentice (R,S). The five remaining candidates face gruelling interviews. 2.45 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

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after

64 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

10.05 ITV News and Weather (S). 10.40 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.45 Notting Hill (S,HD) (1999). See Choices Above. ●●●●

1.00 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

10.00 Derek – The Special (S,HD). The last-ever episode sees the Broadhill regulars busy planning the wedding of the year. Kev’s behaviour proves too much for Hannah, while Vicky prepares to fill her boss’s shoes.

10.00 Dirty Dancing (S,HD) (1987). See Choices Above. ●●●●

11.05 Gogglebox (R,S,HD). 12/12. The households’ opinions on recent TV. Last in the series.

11.55 Abba: The Image (R,S,HD). The group’s costumes, album artwork and videos.

12.00 NFL: The American Football Show (S,HD). Highlights from the 16th week of the NFL campaign. 1.00 World on a String (S,HD). 1.55 Film: The Tree of Life (S,HD) (2011). Drama, starring Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. ●●●●● 4.15 Film: Fantastic Voyage (S,HD) (1966). Sci-fi adventure, starring Raquel Welch. ●●●● 5.55 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD).

12.55 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Eric Shaw and his team deal with invading macaques. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). Kitchens and dining rooms. 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). Hall and living-room makeovers. 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

ITV2

TROLLIED CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 10.30pm, Sky1

It’s Christmas Eve, the busiest day of the year at Valco – and panic sets in when the turkey delivery fails to arrive. Gavin and Julie suspect their rivals at the Wigan branch of foul play and take extreme measures to salvage their stock. However, the staff have a big party to look forward to.

Sky1

FILM PICKS

THE WRONG MANS 9pm, BBC2

Sam and Phil come out of hiding and embark on an international quest to get home for Christmas. Twopart special of the comedy thriller, with James Corden and Mathew Baynton. Concludes tomorrow.

DIRTY DANCING 10pm, Channel 5

NOTTING HILL 10.45pm, ITV

A dance instructor at a 1960s resort teaches a naive teenager about self-expression. Romantic drama, with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey.

GOLD

A London bookshop owner falls for a glamorous Hollywood film star. Romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts and Rhys Ifans.

Sky Sports 1

BBC3

You’ve Been ... 6.15pm

Taking New York ... 10pm

Stella, 9pm

I’m Alan Partridge, 11pm

Live Football, 7pm

6.15 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 6.45 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 14/20.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 18/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 19/24.

6.00 Alison Steadman’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 5/12. 6.30 The Simpsons (R). 19/22.

6.30 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1989. The Trotters go on a day trip to Margate.

6.00 FL72 Review (HD). A round-up of recent matches.

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth Be with You (R,S). 7.30 Shrek (S,HD) (2001). Animated comedy, with the voice of Mike Myers. ●●●● 8.50 The Pig Who Cried Werewolf (S,HD) (2011). ●●● 9.00 Don’t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (S,HD). 10.00 Some Girls (S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (S,HD).

7.15 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). Festive selection of camcorder calamities. 7.45 Take Me Out Celebrity Christmas Special (R,S). 10/10. Keith Lemon, Joe Swash and Matt Johnson try to impress a line-up of 30 single women from series past and present and win a date to the Isle of Fernandos.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). John Paul and Ste’s joint stag do gets under way. 7.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12/20. Amusing internet videos.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/22. Bart uses voodoo to get his teacher pregnant. 7.30 The Simpsons (R). 5/22. Homer sells his soul.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 17/17. Penny agrees to a date with Leonard. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/23. Sheldon is placed in a difficult position.

8.00 Modern Family (S,HD). 8/24. Phil steps up to the plate to cook Thanksgiving dinner. 8.30 Trollied (S,HD). 8/8. Charity day arrives at the supermarket. Last in the series.

7.00 Live Ford Monday Night Football (HD). Stoke City v Chelsea (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the Premier League encounter at the Britannia Stadium, as the sides play their final match before Christmas.

12.05 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 12.35 Don’t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S,HD). 3.30 Some Girls (R,S).

9.00 Through the Christmas Keyhole (R,S). Keith Lemon hosts a festive rummage through the homes of three celebrities, challenging panellist Dave Berry, Julian Clary and Barbara Windsor to guess their identities.

9.00 Made in Chelsea 9.00 Stella (S,HD). The single (S,HD). 11/12. Spencer mum’s plans to spend her and Lauren’s relationship first Christmas with is put in the spotlight Michael are scuppered thanks to fresh when he is called away to allegations of Birmingham to deal with misbehaviour. a family emergency. Ruth Meanwhile, Sam tries to Jones stars. salvage some form of friendship with Tiff.

7.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.30 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Corrie Years (R,S). 8.30 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 8.55 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 10.00 Catchphrase Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 11.00 Film: The 12 Days of Christmas Eve (S,HD) (2004). ●●● 12.55 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 5.10 The X Factor Class of 2014 (R,S).

7.35 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 8.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 8.30 Suburgatory (R,S,HD). 9.00 Charmed (R,S). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.30 Suburgatory (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

6.00 That Hidden Camera Family (R,S). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew (R,S,HD). 9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 11.00 Futurama (R,S). 12.00 Best Christmas Movies Ever (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R). 5.30 Katy Brand’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD).

10.30 Trollied Christmas 10.00 Fast & Furious (S,HD) 10.00 Taking New York: Special (R,S,HD). See (2009). A fugitive and an Sneak Peek (S,HD). Choices Above. FBI agent are forced to A look ahead to E4’s work together once upcoming structured again to bring a killer to reality show Taking New justice. Thriller sequel, York. with Vin Diesel, Paul 10.35 The Big Bang Theory Walker and Michelle (R,S,HD). 6/17. Penny Rodriguez. Including FYI hosts a Halloween party. Daily. ●●●

12.10 Celebrity Juice: Bestest Bits 2014 (R,S,HD). 1.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2.50 The Office Xmas Party (R,S,HD). 3.40 Educating Joey Essex: Reem Halloween (R,S,HD). 4.25 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 4.50 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 5.10 Christmas Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

7.00 Butterflies (S). 7.40 Ripping Yarns (S). 8.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 9.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 10.00 Steptoe and Son. 10.55 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff. 12.15 The Two Ronnies (S). 1.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.10 Keeping Up Appearances (S). Hyacinth goes on a cruise on the QE2. 5.30 The Vicar of Dibley (S).

8.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1990. Rodney leaves home after a fight with Cassandra and arranges a date with receptionist Tanya to make his wife jealous.

6.00 Football Freestyler. 7.00 WWE: Bottom Line (HD). 8.00 Football Freestyler. 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Football Gold (HD). 11.00 Goals on Sunday (HD). 12.00 Football Freestyler. 1.00 FL72 Review (HD). 2.00 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 3.00 Goals on Sunday (HD). 4.00 Game Changers (HD). 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

7.00 Guys and Dolls (HD) (1955). A gambler tries to win the heart of a Salvation Army member, while his friend searches for somewhere to hold an illegal dice game. Musical, with Frank Sinatra. ●●●●● 9.25 Storyville: Panto! Mayhem, Make Up and Magic (HD). A small community theatre’s staging of Puss in Boots. 10.35 The Joy of the Bee Gees (R,HD). A profile of the legendary pop group. 11.35 Bee Gees at the BBC and Beyond (R,HD). Classic performances. 12.35 Castles – Britain’s Fortified History (R,HD). 1.35 Puppy Love (R,HD). 2.05 Sounds of the Eighties (R). 2.35 Storyville: Panto! Mayhem, Make Up and Magic (R).

MONDAY December 22

10.00 The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook (S). 7/7. Another chance to see Ronnie Barker’s final screen appearance, in which he and Ronnie Corbett choose their favourite sketches, songs and monologues from their festive shows.

11.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/17. Howard seduces one of Penny’s friends. 11.30 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1/6. First-ever episode of the comedy.

11.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 11.30 Arrow (R,S,HD). 8/23. 3/6. Alan insults Barry and Oliver unite in Norfolk’s farmers. the search for Digger Harkness. 11.40 Knowing Me, Knowing You – With Alan Partridge (S). 4/6. Special French edition.

11.00 One More for Bobby (HD). Robbie Elliot cycles around Europe visiting clubs once managed by Bobby Robson.

12.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 12.35 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 1.40 Bad Robots (R,S,HD). 2.10 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 3.20 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3.45 One Tree Hill (R,S,HD). 4.25 Charmed (R,S).

12.30 The Flash (R,S,HD). Barry mysteriously passes out while chasing a gang of gunmen. 1.30 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). A computer hacker looks to sell secrets. 2.30 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.30 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.30 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

12.30 FL72 Review (HD). A roundup of recent matches. 1.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 3.00 Ford Monday Night Football (HD). Stoke City v Chelsea. 5.30 Football Gold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold (HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy wages war on censorship. 1.00 Coogan’s Run (S). Paul Calf falls foul of Ottle’s underworld. 1.30 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 Knowing Me, Knowing You – With Alan Partridge (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Coogan’s Run (S). 3.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

BBC4

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Church Rd, Bristol BS5 8AA from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 65

TV PICKS

MAN DOWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 10pm, Channel 4

THE ROYLE FAMILY 9pm, BBC1

A new neighbour’s cleavage is one of the many topics of conversation as the clan gathers for another fun-filled Christmas Day. This year Barbara has gone overboard with the presents after spending an entire two hours in the pound shop and Dave has had a flash of entrepreneurial inspiration that he intends to pitch to Dragons’.

Dan is convinced he is turning his life around, only to find a Christmas thorn in his side in the shape of Aunt Nesta.

Christine Bleakley views Roman remains on a helicopter journey, while historian Michael Scott is on the ground to explore what each sky-high vantage point reveals.

Holby City, 8pm

Mock the Week Christmas ...10pm

Wilderness Walks with Ray ... 7.30pm

Celebrity Fifteen to One ... 8pm

Michael Buble’s Christmas ... 7.50pm

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6.00 BBC News (S,HD). 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Great British Bake Off Christmas Masterclass (R,S,HD). Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood demonstrate festive recipes.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/23. Homer befriends a group of holidaying celebrities. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). John Paul and Ste’s stag do gets under way.

6.55 My Crazy Christmas Obsession (R,S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News Update.

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Channel 5

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Speakmans (R,S,HD). 10.20 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 11.20 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 12.25 Big Star’s Little Star (R,S,HD). 1.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.50 Regional News (S). 2.00 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 3.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S). Barnaby investigates a fatal explosion at a haulage yard. 5.00 The Chase (R,S,HD). Quiz show, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 3/10. With Tim Key, Andy McConnell and Richard Stilgoe. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Stacey urges Linda to tell Mick the truth about her ordeal.

7.00 Dad’s Army (R,S). 6/6. Mainwaring organises a Christmas treat. 7.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 2/10. Hull takes on Newcastle.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Moira incurs Cain’s wrath. 7.30 Wilderness Walks with Ray Mears (S,HD). 5/6. The bushcraft expert explores Borrowdale in the Lake District.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.30 The Snowman (R,S). Animated adventure, based on Raymond Briggs’ festive tale.

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Channel 4

6.05 Sign Zone (R,S). 7.35 Canterbury Cathedral (R,S,HD). 8.35 Film: Anything But Christmas (S,HD) (2012). ●●● 10.05 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 11.05 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.05 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin (R,S,HD). 1.45 Equestrian (S,HD). 2.45 Coast Australia (R,S,HD). 3.35 A Place to Call Home (S,HD). 4.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em (R,S). 5.05 Flog It! (R,S).

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 11/52. A familiar face returns in need of help from Elliot. Ric is also back working in AAU – and manages to tread on a few people’s toes – while Arthur comes to Guy and Zosia’s aid.

8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals (S,HD). 21/21. See Choices Above.

8.00 Roman Britain from the Air (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Celebrity Fifteen To One Christmas Special (S,HD). Adam Hills hosts a festive edition of the notoriously tough general knowledge quiz, featuring 15 celebrities competing to win a big cash prize for charity.

7.50 Michael Buble’s Christmas Songbook (S,HD). The Canadian crooner sings Christmas classics and appears in a variety of comedy sketches, and is joined by Rod Stewart, Blake Shelton, Carly Rae Jepsen, Elmo and Oscar the Grouch. Followed by 5 News at 9.

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ITV

After seven weeks of competition, only three chefs remain and their last challenge is to prepare a three-course menu for Marcus Wareing, Monica Galetti and Gregg Wallace. The judges then assess their efforts before deciding who will be crowned champion, succeeding last year’s winner Steven Edwards.

9.00 The Royle Family (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 The Wrong Mans (S,HD). 3&4/4. Part two of two. Another case of mistaken identity finds Sam and Phil in danger again and their only hope is to play their parts in a heist with a gang of mercenaries.

9.00 Lottery Stories: Be Careful What You Wish For (S,HD). The stories of some of the millionaires who have been created since the National Lottery started 20 years ago, finding out how they have been affected by sudden wealth.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special (S,HD). Jimmy Carr hosts a festive edition of the comedy panel show, with guests Andrew Flintoff, Ricky Wilson and Roisin Conaty joining team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson.

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BBC2

MASTERCHEF: THE PROFESSIONALS 8pm, BBC2

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). 10.30 National Lottery Update (S). 10.35 Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD). Agnes vows to make her nativity play unforgettable.

10.00 Mock the Week Christmas Special (S,HD). 13/14. A festive edition featuring out-takes and yuletide reminiscences. 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (S,HD). 9/9. Highlights and out-takes from the show. Last in the series.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.35 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.40 Kylie: Kiss Me Once (S). See Choices Above.

10.00 Man Down Christmas Special (S). See Choices Above. 10.30 Da Best of Ali G (R,S). A chance to see some of the comedy character’s most memorable interviews from The 11 O’Clock Show, plus a special guided tour of his home town.

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BBC1

ROMAN BRITAIN FROM THE AIR 8pm, ITV

11.10 Cuckoo (S,HD). 6/6. Ken questions his masculinity. Last in the series. 11.40 The Apprentice (S,HD). 14/14. The two finalists launch their businesses. Last in the series.

11.00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad (S,HD). 5/6. With Nigel Havers, Lee Mack and Christine Bleakley. 11.45 Surviving Christmas (S,HD) (2004). See Choices Above. ●

11.50 The Jonathan Ross Show Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 10/10. With David Walliams, Barbara Windsor, Lewis Hamilton, Jimmy Carr, Ed Sheeran and Idina Menzel. Last in the series.

11.30 Da Ali G Show (S,HD). Celebrity interviews and hoaxes.

12.40 Film: Final Analysis (S) (1992). Thriller, starring Richard Gere. ●● 2.40 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 2.45 BBC News (S,HD).

1.10 TOTP2: Christmas 2014 (R,S,HD). Festive performances from the Top of the Pops archive. 2.40 Sign Zone: Film 2014 (R,S). The team previews Christmas and New Year releases. Last in the series. 3.10 Sign Zone: The Mekong River with Sue Perkins (R,S). The comedienne travels through Laos. 4.10 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

1.10 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Da Ali G Show (S,HD). 12.30 Da Ali G Show (S,HD). 12.55 Poker (S,HD). 1.50 Film: Saw IV (S) (2007). Horror sequel, starring Costas Mandylor. ●●● 3.25 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). 4.20 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.15 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.35 Film: The Nativity Story (S,HD) (2006). Biblical drama, starring Keisha Castle-Hughes. ●●

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: Mars Needs Moms (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. ●● 10.30 Film: Bridge to Terabithia (S) (2007). ●●●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: Chicken Run (S,HD) (2000). Animated comedy, with the voices of Mel Gibson. ●●●● 3.05 The Gruffalo (R,S,HD). 3.30 Film: Cars 2 (S,HD) (2011). Animated adventure sequel. ●●● 5.10 Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

6.20 The King of Queens (R,S). 7.10 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 7.35 Frasier (R,S). 8.25 Film: The Rugrats Movie (S,HD) (1999). ●●● 10.00 Film: Andre (S) (1994). ●● 11.55 Film: Ladyhawke (S,HD) (1985). Medieval fantasy adventure, starring Rutger Hauer. ●●●● 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (S,HD). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal: Merry Christmas (S,HD). 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.30 Access. 9.40 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 10.40 Film: Jack and the Beanstalk (S,HD) (2010). ●●● 12.25 Film: The Elf That Rescued Christmas (S,HD) (2011). ●●● 2.00 Film: This Christmas (S) (2007). Comedy drama, starring Delroy Lindo. ●●● 4.10 Film: Call Me Claus (S) (2001). Christmas family drama, starring Whoopi Goldberg. ●●● 5.55 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6 7 8 9

10 11

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after

www.mpct.co.uk

9.00 Kids’ Hospital at Christmas (S,HD). 3/3. A 14-year-old is rushed into Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital’s A&E department on Christmas Eve with a serious leg injury after she is hit by a van. Last in the series. 10.00 Saving Private Ryan (S,HD) (1998). See Choices Above. Includes 5 News Update. ●●●●●

1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 My Crazy Christmas Obsession (R,S,HD). Part one of two. Four American households who take festive decorating to the extreme. 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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Get a Head Start 66 WEEKEND from Friday, December 19, 2014

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Ages 16-23

Grow the Workforce

Highlights from the Australian pop princess’s current tour, recorded at Glasgow’s Hydro arena on November 12. The concert features some of her greatest hits, including Can’t Get You Out of My Head.

First of a two-part documentary about people obsessed with the festive period, beginning by following four American households who take decorations to the extreme, spending huge amounts of money, time and energy on their properties to bring Christmas cheer to their neighbourhoods.

Sky1

7.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 8.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 8.35 Suburgatory (R,S,HD). 9.00 Charmed (R,S). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4.30 Famous Fred (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Bridget Jones’s Diary, 9pm

The Big Bang Theory, 8pm

6.15 Scooby-Doo (S,HD) (2002). The dog and his chums reunite to solve a baffling mystery on the tourist resort of Spooky Island. Live-action comedy adventure, with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Matthew Lillard. Including FYI Daily. ●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 20/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24.

8.00 You’ve Been Framed! Calendar Special (R,S). Harry Hill delves into the archive and comes up with a whole year of merry mishaps.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN 10pm, Channel 5

American soldiers scour France in search of a missing infantryman. Steven Spielberg’s Second World War drama, with Tom Hanks.

GOLD

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 11.00 Futurama (R,S). 12.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 2.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 Treasure Island (R,S,HD).

The Flash, 8pm

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Hourlong episode. Ste and John Paul’s big day arrives, while Tony hosts Christmas dinner for his loved ones.

7.00 The Simpsons (R). 21/22. Homer upsets a new neighbour. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 22/22.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/23. Leonard gets back together with Leslie Winkle. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/23. Penny becomes addicted to an online game.

8.00 The Flash (S,HD). 9/22. Years of pent-up grief bubble to the surface when Barry encounters Reverse Flash, aka Professor Zoom, the man who killed his mother. Grant Gustin stars.

7.00 Waiting for God (S). 7.40 Ripping Yarns (S). 8.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 9.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 10.00 Steptoe and Son (S). 10.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. 11.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 4.00 Blackadder Back and Forth (S). 4.45 The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook (S). 5.45 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Football Freestyler. 7.00 WWE: Afterburn (HD). 8.00 Football Freestyler. 9.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 9.30 Ford Monday Night Football (HD). Stoke City v Chelsea. 12.00 Football Freestyler. 1.00 Sporting Rivalries (HD). 2.00 Live Greyhound Racing (HD). The Bags Track Championship. 5.30 Football Gold (HD).

Porridge, 10pm

Live Greyhound Racing, 2pm

6.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). Toothache forces Del to visit the dentist, but the prospect of receiving a filling is the last thing on his mind when the receptionist falls for him. Christmas special from 1993.

6.00 Football Gold (HD). 6.15 Football Gold (HD). 6.30 Football Gold (HD). 6.45 Football Gold (HD).

8.10 Only Fools and Horses (S). Toothache forces Del to visit the dentist, but the prospect of receiving a filling is the last thing on his mind when the receptionist falls for him.

7.00 Barclays Premier League Review (HD). A look back at recent fixtures in the English Premier League. 8.00 Football Freestyler. Football tricks from the world’s leading exponents. 8.30 Football Freestyler. Football tricks from the world’s leading exponents.

SURVIVING CHRISTMAS 11.45pm, BBC2

A lonely millionaire hires a family to help him enjoy Christmas. Comedy, with Ben Affleck, Christina Applegate and James Gandolfini.

BBC3

7.00 The Borrowers (R,S,HD). Fantasy adventure, starring Stephen Fry. 8.30 Hammy’s Boomerang Adventure (S,HD). 8.35 Madly Madagascar (S,HD). 9.00 Shrek 2 (S,HD) (2004). Animated adventure sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers. ●●●● 10.25 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (S,HD). 12.05 Bluestone 42 Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 12.35 Him & Her: The Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 1.05 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 1.35 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S,HD). 2.05 The Revolution Will Be Televised (R,S,HD). 2.30 Bluestone 42 Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.00 Don’t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S).

9.00 Football Freestyler. Football tricks from the world’s leading exponents. 9.30 Football Freestyler. Football tricks from the world’s leading exponents.

9.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). 9/23. 9.00 Bridget Jones’s Diary 9.00 Rude Tube (S,HD). 7/8. Oliver receives an (S,HD) (2001). A woman Alex Zane presents a ultimatum from Ra’s al begins a new year by countdown of the 50 Ghul – he has 48 hours to resolving to find love greatest sporting clips on find Sara’s killer or else and give up her bad the internet, featuring the League of Assassins habits. Romantic videos involving flying will start killing the comedy, with Renee press ups and a bikini residents of Starling City. Zellweger, Hugh Grant wax race. and Colin Firth. Including FYI Daily. ●●●● 10.00 Rude Tube: Christmas 10.00 Britcam: Emergency on Our Streets (R,S). Cracker (R,S,HD). Alex 7/10. CCTV cameras Zane presents a capture an attack on a countdown of 50 festive Hastings cab driver, and internet clips, featuring late-night revellers the world’s worst and board the SOS Bus in sexiest Santas, some Southend-on-Sea. alternative carols and a memorable Christmas surprise.

10.00 Porridge (S). 8/8. 10.00 Football Freestyler. Mackay and Barraclough Football tricks from the discover Fletch is making world’s leading booze in his cell and the exponents. crafty con seems certain 10.30 Football Freestyler. to spend Christmas in Football tricks from the solitary. Festive special world’s leading from 1976, with Ronnie exponents. Barker.

11.00 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 11/11. With guests Susanna Reid, Paddy McGuinness, Professor Green and Joey Essex.

11.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/17. Raj’s parents set him up on a blind date. 11.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/17.

11.00 50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy (R,S,HD). 1/6. Presenter Baz Ashmawy and his mother Nancy travel to Las Vegas and LA.

11.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 11.00 Football Freestyler. 4/6. Football tricks from the 11.40 Knowing Me, world’s leading Knowing You – With exponents. Alan Partridge (S). 5/6. 11.30 Football Freestyler. The Miss Norwich beauty contest.

12.00 Release the Hounds: Jingle Hell (R,S,HD). 1.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2.40 The Office Xmas Party (R,S,HD). 3.30 Tricked (R,S,HD). 4.15 Educating Joey Essex: Space Cadet (R,S,HD). 5.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records: Bonkingly Big Hits (R,S,HD). 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 1.10 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.35 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 2.05 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 2.55 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3.20 Rude Tube: Christmas Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S).

12.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 1.00 Chickens (R,S,HD). 1.30 Chickens (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy is reunited with an old friend. 1.00 Coogan’s Run (S). 1.30 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 Knowing Me, Knowing You – With Alan Partridge (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Coogan’s Run (S). 3.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

BBC4

7.00 Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964). A gangster becomes a local legend. Comedy, with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. ●●●● 9.00 Len Goodman’s Big Band Bonanza (HD). Big band and swing music since the Second World War. 10.00 Proms on Four: Battle of the Big Bands (R,HD). Clare Teal recreates the great swing bands of Count Basie and Duke Ellington. 11.25 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story (R). The lives of Richard and Karen Carpenter. 12.20 Northern Soul: Living for the Weekend (R,HD). 1.20 Len Goodman’s Big Band Bonanza (R,HD). 2.20 Proms on Four: Battle of the Big Bands (R,HD).

TUESDAY December 23

12.00 Football Gold (HD). 1.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 1.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 2.00 Football Gold (HD). 2.15 Sporting Rivalries (S,HD). 2.45 Football Gold (HD). 3.45 Football Gold (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 4.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD).

and a Prosperous New Year £5 off when you spend £20 on hair or beauty 20% off when you spend £40 on hair or beauty Valid throughout Jan and Feb 2015 from Friday, December 19, 2014

©LW

ITV2 6.10 Britain’s Got More Talent: Hairiest Moments (R,S,HD). 7.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 8.20 The Cube: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 9.20 Catchphrase Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 10.20 Film: Arthur and the Great Adventure (S,HD) (2009). ●● 12.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.10 The Xtra Factor Winner’s Story 2014 (R,S).

MY CRAZY CHRISTMAS OBSESSION 6.55pm, Channel 5

FILM PICKS

KYLIE: KISS ME ONCE 10.40pm, ITV

WEEKEND 67

TV PICKS

THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF PROFESSOR BRANESTAWM 8.30pm, BBC1

CHRISTMAS CAROLS ON ITV 11pm, ITV

Comedy drama, starring Harry Hill as the absent-minded inventor who has a battle on his hands.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Snow Babies (R,S,HD). 10.00 Nigel Slater’s 12 Tastes of Christmas (R,S,HD). 11.00 Film: WALL.E (S,HD) (2008). ●●●●● 12.30 Christmas of My Lifetime with Len Goodman (S,HD). 1.30 BBC News (S,HD). 1.40 BBC Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (S,HD) (2005). ●●●● 3.05 Merry Madagascar (R,S,HD). 3.25 Shrek the Halls (R,S,HD). 3.50 The Gruffalo’s Child (R,S,HD). 4.15 On Angel Wings (S,HD). 4.45 Film: One Hundred and One Dalmatians (S,HD) (1961). Disney animated adventure. ●●●●●

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Aled Jones is joined by Britain’s Got Talent winners Collabro, soprano Lucy Kay, soul singer Mica Paris and Shaun Escoffery, star of the Lion King musical, for a traditional candlelit Christmas Eve service from St Mary’s Church in Prestwich, Greater Manchester. The programme includes prayers and readings by the Rev Chris Wedge.

BBC2

6.10 Film: The Crimson Wing: Mystery of the Flamingos (S,HD) (2008). ●●● 7.20 Canterbury Cathedral (R,S,HD). 8.20 Film: One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (S) (1975). ●●● 9.55 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 10.55 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin (R,S,HD). 12.35 Torvill & Dean: The Perfect Day (R,S,HD). 1.35 The Choir: New Military Wives (R,S,HD). 2.35 Film: Little Women (S,HD) (1994). ●●●● 4.25 To the Manor Born (R,S). 5.25 Carols from King’s (S,HD).

JULIE WALTERS: A LIFE ON SCREEN 9.30pm, BBC2

The actress chats about her career, from her beginnings in theatre through to her successes in TV and film. With contributions by Victoria Wood, Celia Imrie and Hugh Bonneville.

ITV

6.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 Film: All Stars (S,HD) (2013). ●● 11.35 Film: Horrid Henry: The Movie (S,HD) (2011). Children’s comedy, starring Theo Stevenson. ●● 1.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.35 Doc Martin Christmas Special: On the Edge (R,S). 3.35 Off Their Rockers (R,S,HD). 4.05 Film: Santa Claus: The Movie (S,HD) (1985). Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore. ●●

GOGGLEBOX 2014 9.30pm, Channel 4

A chance to see some of the best moments from the past year of the reality show, featuring the nation’s favourite armchair critics. Leon and June, Steph and Dom, Christopher and Stephen, and Sandy and Sandra provide a sharp, insightful and sometimes emotional running commentary.

Channel 4

7.15 Olive, the Other Reindeer (R,S). 8.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9.05 The Simpsons (R,S). 10.10 Film: The Iron Giant (S,HD) (1999). ●●●●● 11.50 Father Christmas (R,S). 12.30 Film: Big Miracle (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. ●●● 2.35 Channel 4 News (S). 2.45 Film: The Grinch (S,HD) (2000). Fantasy comedy, starring Jim Carrey. ●●●● 4.50 Film: The Muppet Christmas Carol (S,HD) (1992). Puppet comedy, starring Michael Caine. ●●●●

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.30 Film: Gone with the Wind (S,HD) (1939). Epic romantic drama, starring Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable. ●●●●● 1.50 Film: The Adventures of Robin Hood (S) (1938). Swashbuckling adventure, starring Errol Flynn. ●●●●● 3.50 Film: Scrooge – A Christmas Carol (S) (1951). Charles Dickens’ fantasy, starring Alastair Sim. ●●●●● 5.35 Michael Buble’s Christmas 2014 (R,S).

Christmas Carols on ITV, 11pm

The Snowman and the ... 7.55pm

Britain’s Craziest Christmas ... 7.20pm

6.40 The Good Life (R,S). Tom fears he and Barbara have no money set aside for their old age. George Cole guest stars in the final episode of the sitcom.

6.15 You’ve Been Framed! At Christmas (R,S). 14/20. Comical festive clips, narrated by Harry Hill. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.25 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Hour-long episode. Ste and John Paul’s big day arrives.

6.30 My Big Xmas Benefits BlowOut (R,S,HD). 4/4. Christmas for people living on state welfare.

7.10 Victoria Wood with All the Trimmings (R,S). The comedienne sends up Christmas TV in a festive special from 2000, with guest stars Julie Walters and Alan Rickman.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Bernice struggles with her emotions the day before Andy’s wedding. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Lloyd discovers Jenna has been arrested in Spain.

7.25 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). Festive spin-off of the animated films. 7.55 The Snowman and the Snowdog (R,S,HD). Animated sequel to The Snowman.

7.20 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights (R,S). Noddy Holder narrates a documentary following four households as they transform their homes. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Linda states that Dean is not welcome for Christmas dinner – so he confronts her with a blackmail threat. 8.30 The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 3/10. King’s College, Cambridge, takes on Royal Holloway, University of London. 8.30 The Choir: New Military Wives (S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. With Gareth Malone.

8.00 Skyfall (S,HD) (2012). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

8.30 My Big Fat Gypsy Christmas: Tinsel and Tiaras (R,S,HD). The festive season, travellerstyle, featuring a spectacular Christmas-themed wedding and an entrepreneur planning a gypsies-only party.

8.25 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies: Christmas Special (S,HD). The comedian throws a party for some of the stars of the last series, and RSPCA officer Derek Hampson hands out presents to rescue dogs. Followed by 5 News Update.

9.30 Not Going Out Christmas Special (S,HD). 10/10. See Choices Above.

9.30 Julie Walters: A Life on Screen (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.30 Gogglebox 2014 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.30 Greatest Ever Christmas Movies (R,S). See Choices Above.

▼

The Choir: New Military Wives, 8.30pm

6.05 BBC News (S,HD). 6.15 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Toy Story 3 (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

▼

6 7 8 9

The Vicar of Dibley, 10.15pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

▼

10.15 The Vicar of Dibley (R,S). 2/4. Alice suggests an unconventional nativity play starring herself and Hugo as Mary and Joseph, and adds a touch of authenticity by going into labour mid-performance. 10.55 Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD). The family falls out over a board game. 11.30 BBC News (S,HD). 11.40 National Lottery Update (S). 11.45 Midnight Mass from Arundel Cathedral (S,HD). Live Roman Catholic Mass from Arundel in West Sussex.

▼

after

1.05 Film: Sliding Doors (S,HD) (1998). Comedy drama, starring Gwyneth Paltrow. ●●● 2.40 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 2.45 BBC News (S,HD).

10.30 Calendar Girls (S,HD) (2003). Members of a Yorkshire branch of the Women’s Institute cause controversy when they pose nude for a charity calendar. Fact-based comedy drama, with Helen Mirren and Julie Walters. ●●●●

12.15 Film: Buster (S) (1988). Fact-based crime drama, starring Phil Collins and Julie Walters. ●●● 1.45 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

10.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

11.00 Christmas Carols on ITV (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.00 Rude Tube Christmas Cracker 2014 (S). Alex Zane presents a selection of festive internet clips.

12.00 Film: Elizabeth: The Golden Age (S,HD) (2007). Historical drama sequel, starring Cate Blanchett. ●●●● 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 2.50 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.05 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.35 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.05 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.30 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.55 Film: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (HD) (2010). ●●●● 3.20 Film: Toys (S,HD) (1992). Comedy, starring Robin Williams. ●● 5.20 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.35 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD).

12.30 Film: Scrooge – A Christmas Carol (S) (1951). Charles Dickens’ fantasy, starring Alastair Sim. ●●●●● 2.20 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Crazy Christmas Compulsives (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.25 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

#/&(+RUVHIDLU

68 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

GREATEST EVER CHRISTMAS MOVIES 9.30pm, Channel 5

The will-they-wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t-they tension between Lee and Lucy reaches unseen new highs in this epic finale for Christmas. Lee Mack, Sally Bretton and Bobby Ball star. Last in the series.

ITV2 8.15 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a Celeb: Junglicious Moments (R,S,HD). 9.05 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 10.10 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 11.15 Film: The 12 Days of Christmas Eve (S,HD) (2004). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.40 Film: Casper (S,HD) (1995). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.40 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 5.05 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special (R,S,HD).

Countdown of the best festive films, from White Christmas and Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Wonderful Life to Bad Santa and Elf. Gremlins star Zach Galligan and Miracle on 34th Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mara Wilson talk about their experiences making their movies. Featuring contributions by Ollie Locke, Stacey Solomon and Eamonn Holmes.

E4 6.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 6.50 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 7.55 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 8.30 Ivor the Invisible (R,S). 9.00 Charmed (R,S). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 11.00 Film: Marmaduke (S,HD) (2010). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.45 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts (R,S). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4.30 The Bear (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

NOT GOING OUT CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 9.30pm, BBC1

SKYFALL 8pm, ITV

GOLD

6.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 Best Christmas Movies Ever (R,S,HD). A countdown of the 26 greatest festive films. 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 Treasure Island (R,S,HD). Jim and Silver face a tough decision.

Woody, Buzz and the toys end up in a daycare centre, but plan their escape. Animated adventure, with the voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen.

Sky Sports 1

BBC3

7.00 Waiting for God (S). 7.40 Ripping Yarns (S). 8.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 9.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 10.00 Steptoe and Son (S). 10.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.00 Steptoe and Son. Christmas special from 1974. 5.00 Porridge (S). Christmas special from 1976. Fletch is caught making booze in his cell.

6.00 Football Freestyler. 7.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Players (S). 8.00 Football Freestyler. 9.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 10.00 Premier League Years (S). Memorable moments from the 2012/13 season. 12.00 Football Freestyler. 1.00 Football Gold (HD). 5.00 Ryan Giggs: A United Life (S,HD). The remarkable career of the Manchester United legend.

Blackadderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas ... 10pm

Football: Race for ... 11.30pm

6.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/3. The Trotters become caped crusaders.

6.00 One2Eleven Special (HD). Guests select their all-time line-ups.

All Star Family ... 5.05pm

Rude(ish) Tube, 7pm

6.10 Catchphrase Christmas Special (R,S,HD). Carol Vorderman, Michael Ball and Michelle Collins see it and say it.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 23/24.

7.20 Tim Burtonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Nightmare Before Christmas (S,HD) (1993). The Pumpkin King of Halloween Town tires of being scary and decides to take over Christmas. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon and Catherine Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hara. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

7.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 19/20. Featuring extreme unicycling. 7.25 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sineadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life hangs in the balance.

7.00 The Simpsons (R). 6/22. Lisa becomes a Buddhist. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/25. Bart is caught shoplifting.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/3. Del buys a new manual to show him how to make positive decisions.

7.00 Best of Gillette Soccer Saturday (HD). A look back at 20 years of the show, as a host of guests presided over live football action.

8.00 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (S,HD) (2009). The shape-changing robots fight for control of a machine hidden somewhere on Earth with the power to destroy planets. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 The Simpsons. 8/22. Springfield is inundated with Christmas tourists. 8.30 The Simpsons (S,HD). 9/22. Homer gets too drunk on Christmas Eve.

8.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3/3. Raquelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father finds an old watch among the Trottersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; junk, which he claims could net them a fortune at auction. However, nothing can quite prepare them for the shock that awaits.

8.00 Football Freestyler. Football tricks from the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leading exponents. 8.30 Football Freestyler. Football tricks from the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leading exponents.

A League of Their ... 9pm

TOY STORY 3 6.25pm, BBC1

James Bond hunts the mastermind behind a terrorist attack on MI6, and discovers a former agent with revenge in mind. Action thriller, with Daniel Craig.

9.00 A League of Their Own Christmas Party (R,S,HD). James Corden offers Jamie Redknapp, Andrew Flintoff and Jack Whitehall the chance to prepare a traditional Christmas dinner and partake in a festive sporting challenge.

7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S,HD). Steve from Rotherham takes sole charge of organising his wedding. 8.00 Gavin & Stacey â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Christmas Special (R,S,HD). The couple make a surprise announcement. 9.00 Shrek the Third (S,HD) (2007). Animated sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.25 Cuckoo Christmas Special (S,HD). Lorna is full of yuletide spirit. 11.00 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.55 Family Guy (R,S). 12.15 Family Guy (R,S). 12.35 Family Guy (R,S). 1.00 Family Guy (R,S). 1.20 Family Guy (R,S). 1.45 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 2.15 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.45 In Deep (R,S,HD). 3.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride: Christmas in Wonderland (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Carols from Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1954: A Festival of Lessons and Carols (HD). 7.45 Wild Scotland (R). 8.00 Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank (HD). 8.30 Arena: Oooh Er, Missus! The Frankie Howerd Story (R). Profile of the comedian. 9.30 Top of the Pops Christmas: 1979 (R). Christmas special. 10.30 Some Santas with Jokes (HD). Father Christmasses tell their favourite gags to the camera. 11.00 Frank Sinatra: The Voice of the Century â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Arena Special (R). Profile of the legendary performer. 12.35 Swinginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Christmas (R,HD). 1.45 Top of the Pops Christmas: 1979 (R). 2.45 Sammy Davis Jr: The Kid in the Middle (R,HD).

CHRISTMAS EVE

9.00 One2Eleven Special (HD). Guests select their all-time line-ups.

10.00 Blackadderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 10.00 Stella (R,S,HD). The 10.00 Best of Gillette Soccer Christmas Carol (S). single mumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plans to Saturday (HD). A look Kindly Victorian spend her first Christmas back at 20 years of the pushover Ebenezer with Michael are show, as a host of guests Blackadder is visited by scuppered when he is presided over live the Spirit of Christmas called away to football action in their and gains an insight into Birmingham to deal with own inimitable styles. the dastardly deeds of a family emergency. his ancestors. Starring Ruth Jones stars. Rowan Atkinson.

December

11.45 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 13/13. Festive edition of the comedy quiz.

11.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/17. Penny appears in a musical. 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/17. Penny volunteers to nurse Sheldon.

11.30 Trollied Christmas Special (R,S,HD). The turkey delivery fails to arrive on Christmas Eve.

11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 5/6. Alan meets his biggest fan. 11.40 Knowing Me, Knowing You â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Alan Partridge (S). 6/6.

11.00 Barclays Premier League World. A roundup of the latest news. 11.30 Football: Race for the Title (HD). A look back at the 2013/14 Premier League title race.

12.50 Through the Christmas Keyhole (R,S). 1.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 3.30 Release the Hounds: Jingle Hell (R,S,HD). 4.20 Educating Joey Essex: Winter Essex-Pedition (R,S,HD). 5.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

12.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 12.30 New Girl (R,S,HD). 1.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 2.05 Taking New York: Sneak Peek (R,S,HD). 2.35 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 3.20 New Girl (R,S,HD). 3.40 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.25 Charmed (R,S).

12.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). With Joe Hart, Kevin Pietersen and Josh Widdicombe. 1.30 The Flash (R,S,HD). 2.20 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.10 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daughter turns up. 1.00 Cooganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Run (S). A village handyman meets his destiny. 1.30 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 Knowing Me, Knowing You â&#x20AC;&#x201C; With Alan Partridge (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Cooganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Run (S). 3.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

12.30 One2Eleven Special (HD). 1.30 Barclays Premier League World. 2.00 Best of Gillette Soccer Saturday (HD). 3.00 Football Gold (HD). 3.15 Football Gold (HD). 4.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Players (S). 4.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.00 Football Gold (HD).

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 69

TV PICKS

DOCTOR WHO 6.15pm, BBC1

Clara and the Doctor end up trapped on an Arctic base under attack from terrifying creatures - and it seems their only hope of rescue is Santa Claus (Nick Frost).

ALAN CARR: CHATTY MAN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 9pm, Channel 4

Louis Smith, actress Lisa Riley, TV presenter Chris Hollins, astrologer Russell Grant and singers Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Rachel Stevens compete.

ITV

Channel 4

Channel 5

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 The Gruffalo (R,S,HD). 9.30 On Angel Wings (R,S,HD). 10.00 Come and Join the Celebration (S,HD). 11.00 Only Fools and Horses (R,S). 12.00 Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out (R,S,HD). 12.25 Film: Gnomeo & Juliet (S,HD) (2011). ●●● 1.40 Shaun the Sheep (R,S,HD). 1.50 BBC News (S,HD). 2.00 Top of the Pops Christmas (S,HD). 3.00 The Queen’s Christmas Broadcast 2014 (S,HD). 3.10 Film: Puss in Boots (S,HD) (2011). See Choices Above. ●●●● 4.40 BBC News (S,HD). 5.00 Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special (S,HD). See Choices Above.

6.00 Film: Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (S,HD) (2003). ●●●● 7.15 Film: Short Circuit (S,HD) (1986). ●●● 8.50 Film: Pollyanna (S,HD) (1960). ●●●● 11.00 Carols from King’s (R,S,HD). 12.15 To the Manor Born (R,S). 12.45 The Choir: New Military Wives (R,S,HD). 1.45 60 Years of Carols from King’s (S,HD). 2.45 Kiss Me, Kate at the Proms (S,HD). 5.00 Sign Zone: The Queen’s Christmas Broadcast 2014 (R,S). 5.10 James May’s Toy Stories: Action Man at the Speed of Sound (S,HD).

Michael McIntyre’s Very ... 10.40pm

James May’s Toy Stories ... 5.10pm

Coronation Street, 8pm

Alan Carr: Chatty Man ... 9pm

Britain’s Favourite Christmas ... 8pm

6.15 Doctor Who (S,HD). See Choices Above.

6.15 Morecambe and Wise in Pieces: The Sketches (S). 5/5. Bite-sized routines from the comedy duo’s shows.

6.50 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 Arthur Christmas (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. Animated comedy, with the voice of James McAvoy. ●●●●

6.10 Michael Buble’s Christmas Songbook (R,S). Festive classics, with Rod Stewart, Blake Shelton and Carly Rae Jepsen.

7.15 Miranda (S,HD). 1/2. The hit sitcom returns for the final two episodes. Miranda has two proposals to decide between. 7.50 Call the Midwife (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.15 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 4/10. Edinburgh takes on Leeds. 7.45 Dad’s Army (R,S). 8/8. The vicar holds a fundraising bazaar. Last in the series.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Hour-long episode. Bernice and Robert threaten Andy and Katie’s wedding day, Lachlan leads Belle astray and Jai proposes to Megan.

8.30 Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (R,S). Comic version of the classic tale, starring Rowan Atkinson.

8.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). Hour-long episode. Kylie is horrified when Callum turns up at her doorstep, Amy and Tony are taken aback by how much Steve has spent and Tracy grabs Tony under the mistletoe.

8.00 Frozen at Christmas (S,HD). The makers of Disney’s Frozen, the most successful animated film of all time, talk about its creation and production, and the writing and performance of its most popular songs.

9.00 Tim Rice – A Life in Song (S,HD). A concert from London’s Royal Festival Hall celebrating the work of the Oscar-winning lyricist, who also reminisces about his career, in the company of Michael Grade.

9.00 Downton Abbey (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special (S,HD). 15/15. See Choices Above.

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

6.00 CITV. 8.25 Weekend at Christmas (S,HD). 9.25 Film: Valiant (S,HD) (2005). ●●● 10.55 Film: Back to the Future (S,HD) (1985). ●●●●● 1.10 Film: Nanny McPhee (S,HD) (2005). ●●● 3.00 The Queen (S,HD). 3.10 The Queen’s Garden (S,HD). 4.10 ITV News and Weather (S). 4.20 Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas (S). 5.20 New You’ve Been Framed! At Christmas (S,HD). 5.50 Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs at Christmas (S,HD).

The comedian hosts an extended show filled with festive fun and frolics, plus the odd song or two by the evening’s house band. Chatting to Alan on the sofa are Terry Wogan, Sarah Millican, Phillip Schofield, Dan Stevens and Emma Willis.

▼

BBC2

STRICTLY COME DANCING CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 5pm, BBC1

▼

BBC1

DOWNTON ABBEY 9pm, ITV

It’s the early autumn of 1924 and Rose’s fatherin-law Lord Sinderby has rented Brancaster Castle in Northumberland and invited the Crawleys to a grouse-shooting party. However, the Sinderbys’ butler Stowell (guest star Alun Armstrong) has an axe to grind and a scandalous secret threatens to derail the holiday.

6.00 Film: The Ugly Duckling and Me (S,HD) (2006). ●●● 7.30 Prep & Landing (R,S,HD). 7.55 Prep & Landing: Naughty v Nice (R,S,HD). 8.20 Father Christmas (R,S). 8.55 Film: Animals United (S,HD) (2010). ●● 10.45 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.15 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 12.45 The Snowman (R,S). 1.20 The Snowman and the Snowdog (R,S,HD). 1.50 The Alternative Christmas Message (S). 1.55 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 2.05 Film: Scrooged (S,HD) (1988). ●●● 4.00 Film: Big (S,HD) (1988). ●●●●

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.10 Access. Showbiz news and gossip. 9.20 Andre Rieu: Christmas Around the World (S,HD). The violinist performs a festive concert. 10.20 Film: Scrooge (S,HD) (1970). Musical fantasy, starring Albert Finney. ●●●● 12.35 The Sound of Music – Live! (R). Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical, starring Carrie Underwood. 3.25 Film: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (S,HD) (1968). See Choices Above. ●●●●

▼ ▼

8.00 Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs (R,S). See Choices Above.

10.05 Mrs Brown’s Boys (S,HD). The first of two festive editions. Mrs Brown is curious about a parcel addressed to Cathy. 10.40 Michael McIntyre’s Very Christmassy Christmas Show (S,HD). The comedian presents an hour of festive entertainment, with Jamie Oliver and Rob Brydon.

10.30 QI Christmas (S,HD). 12/18. Festive edition, with Carrie Fisher, Bill Bailey and Jimmy Carr.

▼

9.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Hour-long episode. Christmas Day gets off to a good start for the Carters but soon goes downhill when Sylvie arrives – and then Dean turns up. Cindy is alarmed by a suspicious gift.

7.05 Chas & Dave’s Xmas Knees Up! (R,S). Festive entertainment from 1982, featuring Eric Clapton and Jim Davidson.

11.40 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 11.55 On Christmas Night (S,HD). Adjoa Andoh reflects on the implications of Jesus’s birth for Mary.

11.00 Marvellous (R,S,HD). Factbased feature-length comedy drama, starring Toby Jones.

11.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.15 You’ve Got to Love Christmas (R,S,HD). A comic trawl through the TV archives, narrated by Jane Horrocks.

11.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special (R,S,HD). With guests Andrew Flintoff, Ricky Wilson and Roisin Conaty.

11.05 Muriel’s Wedding (S) (1994). A downtrodden Abba-obsessed woman heads for the bright lights of Sydney to fulfil her dreams of the perfect wedding. Comedy, with Toni Collette and Bill Hunter. ●●●●

12.00 Not Going Out Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 12.45 Would I Lie to You? at Christmas (R,S,HD). 1.15 George Michael at the Palais Garnier, Paris (R,S,HD). 2.15 Film: The Heartbreak Kid (S) (2007). Romantic comedy, starring Ben Stiller and Michelle Monaghan. ●●● 4.05 Skiing Weatherview (S). 4.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.30 Film: The Producers (S,HD) (2005). Musical comedy, starring Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. ●●● 2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.15 Christmas Carols on ITV (R,S). A service with Collabro, Lucy Kay and Mica Paris, presented by Aled Jones. 1.15 Film: Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle (S,HD) (2003). Mystery, starring Angela Lansbury. ●● 2.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Father Ted Christmas Special (R,S). 1.05 Father Ted (R,S). 1.35 Father Ted (R,S). 2.00 Father Ted (R,S). 2.30 Film: Crazy Heart (S,HD) (2009). Drama, starring an Oscar-winning Jeff Bridges. ●●●● 4.25 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). 5.20 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD). 5.50 Film: Flicka (S,HD) (2006). Family drama, starring Alison Lohman. ●●●

1.20 SuperCasino. 3.10 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). The comedian throws a party for some of the stars of the last series. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.25 House Doctor (R,S). 4.50 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

after

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

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6 7 8 9

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

Sky1

7.15 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 7.35 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 8.30 Glee (R,S,HD). 9.30 Suburgatory (R,S,HD). 10.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 11.00 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 11.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 12.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Snowman (R,S). 5.25 The Snowman and the Snowdog (R,S,HD).

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S,HD). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (S). 12.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 2.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Queen’s Christmas Message (HD). 3.10 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

Premiere. The swashbuckling feline goes on a quest for a magical golden goose. Animated comedy spinoff, with the voice of Antonio Banderas.

GOLD 7.00 Waiting for God (S). Tom sets out to prove himself by learning to drive. 7.40 Ripping Yarns (S). 8.20 Steptoe and Son (S). 10.00 Porridge (S). Christmas special from 1975. The inmates plan a Christmas escape. 11.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). Celebrating the duo’s Christmas specials. 12.00 Only Fools and Horses (S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Football Freestyler. 7.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 7.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 8.00 Football Freestyler. 9.00 One2Eleven Special (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM Xmas Special (HD). 12.00 Greatest Goals of 2014 (HD). 1.00 Football Freestyler. 2.00 Premier League 100 Club. 2.30 My Special Day (HD). 3.00 Greatest Goals of 2014 (HD). 4.00 Premier League 100 Club. 5.00 Soccer AM Xmas Special (HD).

The Mummy Returns, 6.30pm

The Inbetweeners, 10pm

Best Christmas ... 8pm

The Royle Family ... 9pm

6.00 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). Festive camcorder calamities. 6.30 The Mummy Returns (S,HD) (2001). Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle to rescue their son from the newly resurrected Egyptian mummy Imhotep. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. Including FYI Daily. ●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. Homer and Bart go rafting. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/22.

6.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 8/8. Geraldine attends three Christmas lunches.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory: Access All Areas (R,S,HD). 7.30 The Big Bang Theory: It All Started with a Big Bang (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/21. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. A department store Santa grants Lisa’s Christmas wish.

7.00 Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (S). Kindly Victorian pushover Ebenezer Blackadder is visited by the Spirit of Christmas.

7.00 Greatest Goals of 2014 (HD). Highlights of outstanding strikes from a variety of leagues.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/23. Sheldon becomes obsessed with gift-giving etiquette. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/23. Leonard’s mother visits.

8.00 Best Christmas Movies Ever (R,S,HD). A countdown of the 26 greatest festive films, featuring contributions from celebrity fans including Jim Carrey, Ashley Jensen, Jonathan Ross and Warwick Davis.

8.05 Porridge (S). 7/8. Christmas special from 1975. The inmates plan a Christmas escape.

8.00 Premier League 100 Club. Profiles of Premier League legends. 8.30 Premier League 100 Club. Profiles of Premier League legends.

9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 GoldenEye (S,HD) (R,S,HD). 11/24. Leonard (1995). James Bond goes fails to get Sheldon into in pursuit of a satellite the Christmas mood. weapon that has fallen into the hands of a 9.30 The Big Bang Theory mysterious criminal (R,S,HD). 11/24. The gang mastermind. Spy reflects on how Sheldon adventure, with Pierce has changed their lives. Brosnan, Sean Bean and Famke Janssen. Including FYI Daily. ●●●● 10.00 Predator (S) (1987). 10.00 The Inbetweeners A military team on a (R,S). 5/6. Will is left mission in a Central home alone. American jungle 10.35 The Inbetweeners encounters a merciless (R,S). 6/6. The gang goes alien hunter in search of on a camping trip. human prey. Sci-fi thriller, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers. ●●●●

12.15 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.15 Brooklyn NineNine (R,S,HD). 1.45 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 2.15 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 4.20 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.45 Olive, the Other Reindeer (R,S).

9.00 Premier League 100 9.00 The Royle Family: Club. Profiles of Premier Christmas Special 1999 League legends. (S). The family settles down to watch TV after a 9.30 Premier League 100 hearty Christmas dinner – Club. Profiles of Premier but Denise interrupts the League legends. usual banter by going into labour. 10.00 Bring Me Morecambe 10.00 Greatest Goals of 2014 & Wise (S). 5/5. The (HD). Highlights of series concludes with a outstanding strikes from look back at the comedy a variety of leagues. duo’s Christmas specials, and how they became an annual tradition. Narrated by Victoria Wood. 11.00 Knowing Me, 11.00 Barclays Premier Knowing Yule – With League Preview (HD). Alan Partridge (S). 11.30 Premier League 100 11.55 The Tony Ferrino Club (HD). A look at Phenomenon. Musical Matt Le Tissier’s topextravaganza with Steve flight goals for Coogan. Southampton.

11.10 The Inbetweeners 11.35 Celebrity Juice: (R,S). 2/6. Simon tries to Christmas Special impress a girl. (R,S,HD). With Davina McCall, Louis Smith, 11.45 The Inbetweeners Aston Merrygold, Stacey (R,S). 2/6. The four lads Solomon and Simon play truant. Gregson. 12.20 Celebrity Juice: The Special Special (R,S,HD). 1.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2.55 Celebrity Juice: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.30 Tricked (R,S,HD). 4.15 Educating Joey Essex (R,S,HD). 5.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

Premier League ... 9pm

12.05 Trollied Christmas Special (R,S,HD). The turkey delivery fails to arrive on Christmas Eve. 1.05 The Flash (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 4.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

1.00 Coogan’s Run (S). 1.30 Knowing Me, Knowing Yule – With Alan Partridge (S). 2.15 The Tony Ferrino Phenomenon. Musical extravaganza with Steve Coogan’s comic character. 3.05 Coogan’s Run (S). 3.35 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG 3.25pm, Channel 5

An inventor finds an old car has magical powers. Children’s musical adventure, with Dick Van Dyke and Lionel Jeffries.

BBC3

7.00 Bolt (S,HD) (2008). Animated adventure, with the voice of John Travolta. ●●●● 8.30 The Pig Who Cried Werewolf (S,HD) (2011). ●●● 8.35 Shrek the Halls (R,S,HD). Festive animated short. 9.00 Shrek Forever After (S,HD) (2010). Animated comedy. ●●● 10.25 Donkey’s Carolling Christmastacular (S,HD) (2010). ●●● 10.30 Bad Education Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 11.00 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 12.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 12.25 Family Guy (R,S). 12.45 Family Guy (R,S). 1.05 Family Guy (R,S). 1.25 Family Guy (R,S). 1.50 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 2.25 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.55 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S). 3.25 Bad Education Christmas Special (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 The Winter’s Tale from the Royal Ballet. Christopher Wheeldon’s production of William Shakespeare’s romance telling the destruction of marriage through jealousy, a child’s abandonment and a seemingly hopeless love. 9.00 The Lady Vanishes (HD) (1938). Alfred Hitchcock’s mystery, with Michael Redgrave. ●●●●● 10.30 Top of the Pops Christmas 1978 (R). Festive edition of the music show, with Darts, Abba and Boney M. 11.30 Top of the Pops Christmas: 1979 (R). 12.35 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story (R). 1.30 The Fir Tree (R,HD). 1.55 The Winter’s Tale from the Royal Ballet (R).

CHRISTMAS DAY December 25

12.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 12.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 1.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 1.30 Soccer AM Xmas Special (HD). 3.30 Football Gold (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 4.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.00 Football Gold (HD).

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©LW

A countdown of popular songs that are guaranteed to make any Christmas party go with a swing. Highlights include the Jackson 5’s Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, Greg Lake’s I Believe in Father Christmas and Slade and their classic anthem Merry Xmas Everybody.

PUSS IN BOOTS 3.10pm, BBC1

HE B T

ITV2 6.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.50 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.20 Film: Horrid Henry: The Movie (S,HD) (2011). ●● 9.10 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 10.40 Film: Scooby-Doo (S,HD) (2002). ●● 12.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.25 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 2.30 Catchphrase Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.35 Film: Jurassic Park (S,HD) (1993). ●●●●●

BRITAIN’S FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONGS 8pm, Channel 5

FILM PICKS

CALL THE MIDWIFE 7.50pm, BBC1

Chummy (Miranda Hart) is asked to help out at a mother-and-baby home whose residents have little in the way of Christmas cheer, while Cynthia assists two former patients of a psychiatric hospital.

Now offering I.P.L treatments

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 71

TV PICKS

THAT DAY WE SANG 9pm, BBC2

A children’s choir reunites in 1969 after a 40-year interval, prompting two members to reflect on their lives. With Imelda Staunton and Michael Ball.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: Pinocchio (S,HD) (1940). ●●●●● 10.25 CBeebies Peter Pan (S,HD). 11.05 Room on the Broom (R,S,HD). 11.30 Film: Cool Runnings (S,HD) (1993). ●●●● 1.05 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Regional News (S). 1.25 The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm (R,S,HD). 2.20 My Family Christmas Special (R,S). 3.15 Film: Monsters, Inc (S,HD) (2001). ●●●● 4.40 Film: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (S,HD) (2012). ●●●●

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BIRDS OF A FEATHER 9pm, ITV

Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran’s hit sitcom begins its second series on ITV with a festive special. Back in January, Dorien didn’t have two pennies to rub together, but things are a little different now, and the novelist is splashing out on a Christmas trip to the Canary Islands. Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke and Lesley Joseph star.

BBC2

6.10 Film: The Road to El Dorado (S) (2000). ●●● 7.30 Film: College Road Trip (S,HD) (2008). ● 8.50 Queen of Tigers: Natural World Special (R,S). 9.50 Ten Pieces (S,HD). 10.40 60 Years of Carols from King’s (R,S,HD). 11.40 Film: On the Town (S) (1949). ●●●●● 1.15 Gene Kelly: Talking Pictures (R,S). 1.50 Film: Singin’ in the Rain (S) (1952). See Choices Above. ●●●●● 3.30 Victoria Wood: That Musical We Made (S,HD). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.25 War Horse at the Proms (S,HD).

STILL OPEN ALL HOURS 6.25pm, BBC1

TOMMY COOPER’S CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 9.25pm, Channel 5

David Jason returns as shopkeeper Granville, who is forced to take extra security precautions – causing him no end of discomfort. The next episode is on Sunday at 7.30pm.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 Weekend at Christmas (S,HD). 9.25 Dinner Date: Australia (R,S). 10.25 Celebrity Squares (R,S,HD). 11.25 Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs at Christmas (R,S,HD). 12.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 12.45 The Chase: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 1.45 Film: Back to the Future Part II (S,HD) (1989). Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox. ●●● 3.45 Off Their Rockers (R,S,HD). 4.15 Downton Abbey (R,S,HD).

Festive edition of the comedy show from 1974 as Allan Cuthbertson, Tommy Godfrey and Annette Potts join Tommy Cooper in a selection of skits and sketches. Providing the music are Irish singer Dana and American crooner Vic Damone and there is a guest appearance by French puppeteer Andre Tahon.

Channel 4

7.25 The Bear (R,S). 7.55 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9.55 Film: Inspector Gadget (S,HD) (1999). ●● 11.30 Film: Horton Hears a Who! (S,HD) (2008). Animated comedy, featuring the voice of Jim Carrey. ●●●● 1.15 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Including the King George VI Chase at 3.10. 3.50 Film: Turner & Hooch (S,HD) (1989). Family canine comedy, starring Tom Hanks. ●●● 5.50 Channel 4 News (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.55 Access. 10.05 Film: Carry On Constable (S) (1960). Comedy, starring Sid James. ●●● 11.45 Film: Carry On Teacher (S) (1959). Comedy, starring Ted Ray. ●●● 1.30 Film: Carry On Nurse (S) (1959). Comedy, starring Hattie Jacques. ●●● 3.15 Film: The Ladykillers (S,HD) (1955). Ealing black comedy, starring Alec Guinness. ●●●●● 5.00 Film: A Shot in the Dark (S) (1964). Inspector Clouseau comedy, starring Peter Sellers. ●●●●

A Christmas Cracker, 8pm

Bear’s Wild Weekend with ... 8pm

6.45 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 5/10. Trinity Hall, Cambridge, takes on Balliol College, Oxford.

6.15 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.30 Emmerdale (S,HD). Jai spots the man who sold him Archie.

6.00 The Simpsons (S,HD). 8/22. Four tales celebrating the festive season. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sinead’s life hangs in the balance.

7.15 The Two Ronnies: Christmas Show (R,S). Compilation of sketches from festive specials between 1979 and 1982.

7.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). Hour-long episode. Gary has an unexpected encounter after trying to steal from the cafe till, and a drunk David makes a shock announcement in the Rovers.

7.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 10/22. Coulson and Whitehall’s forces meet in an explosive confrontation that dramatically alters the fate of everyone involved.

7.05 Rob Brydon Live (R,S). A stand-up show recorded at Norwich’s Theatre Royal during the comedian and actor’s first UK tour in 2009. Part of Best of British Comedy Day.

8.00 Victoria Wood’s Midlife Christmas (R,S,HD). A festive special from 2009 that attempts to cram a night’s Christmas viewing into an hour. Highlights include the Midlife Olympics, and costume drama Lark Pies to Cranchesterford.

8.00 A Christmas Cracker (S,HD). Bradley Walsh hosts a festive spectacular from the Hammersmith Apollo with a variety of guests, including Al Murray, Katherine Jenkins, the Muppets, the Vamps and Flawless.

8.00 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Ben Stiller (R,S,HD). Survivalist Bear Grylls is partnered with actor and director Ben Stiller for a 48-hour, action-filled trek into the wilds of Scotland that pushes them to the limit.

8.00 Morecambe & Wise Live! 1973 (R,S). The duo’s performance at the Ashcroft Theatre in Croydon’s Fairfield Halls in October 1973, which was the only one of their stage shows captured on film. Part of Best of British Comedy Day.

9.00 That Day We Sang (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above. 9.30 Through the Christmas Keyhole (S,HD). Keith Lemon noses around the homes of celebrities and challenges the panel – Jonathan Ross, Louis Walsh and Kym Marsh – to work out their identities.

9.00 The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2014 (S,HD). Richard Ayoade, David Mitchell, Mel B, Micky Flanagan, Sarah Millican and Kevin Bridges battle it out to see who knows the most about the past 12 months. Jimmy Carr hosts.

9.25 Tommy Cooper’s Christmas Special (R,S). See Choices Above.

10.30 Hunky Dory (S) (2011). Premiere. A teacher at a 1970s Welsh school persuades her students to stage a rock musical based on Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Comedy drama, with Minnie Driver and Aneurin Barnard. ●●●

10.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 10.45 Out of Sight (S,HD) (1998). A US Marshal pursues an escaped convict, but as the chase intensifies, so do their feelings for each other. Romantic crime drama, starring George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez. ●●●●

▼

Victoria Wood’s Midlife ... 8pm

6.05 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.20 Regional Programme; Weather. 6.25 Still Open All Hours (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above. 6.55 The Boy in the Dress (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). The fallout continues for the Carters as more lies are exposed. 8.30 Avengers Assemble (S,HD) (2012). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

▼

10.40 BBC News (S,HD). 10.50 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update.

▼

10 11

EastEnders, 8pm

▼

6 7 8 9

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.00 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the Boxing Day Premier League fixtures, which included Chelsea v West Ham United and Arsenal v Queens Park Rangers.

▼

after

12.35 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Omnibus. Stacey pushes Linda about why she is so awkward around Dean. 3.30 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 3.35 BBC News (S,HD).

12.15 Film: The Winslow Boy (S,HD) (1999). Edwardian drama, starring Nigel Hawthorne. ●●●● 1.55 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.50 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

Tommy Cooper’s Christmas ... 9.25pm

10.25 Carry On Christmas (R,S). The gang’s first TV special, originally broadcast in 1969, which consists of sketches based on A Christmas Carol. With Sid James, Barbara Windsor and Frankie Howerd. Part of Best of British Comedy Day.

11.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 15/15. With guests including Terry Wogan, Sarah Millican and Dan Stevens. Last in the series.

11.30 Greatest Ever Carry On Films (R,S). A rundown of memorable moments from the comedy film series.

1.05 Film: Legend (S,HD) (1985). Fantasy adventure, with Tom Cruise. ●● 2.45 Film: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (S,HD) (1969). Western, starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford. ●●●●● 4.35 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD). 5.00 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD). 5.25 Film: Flicka 2 (S,HD) (2010). Premiere. Family drama, starring Tammin Sursok. ●●●

12.35 Film: Carry On Spying (S) (1964). Comedy, starring Kenneth Williams. ●●● 2.20 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights (R,S,HD). 4.00 Great Scientists (R,S). 4.25 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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72 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Family comedy based on David Walliams’ children’s book about a 12-year-old boy who shocks his family and friends when he starts crossdressing. Billy Kennedy stars, with Jennifer Saunders and Tim McInnerny.

ITV2 6.10 Film: Arthur and the Great Adventure (S,HD) (2009). ●● 8.05 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.05 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 10.05 The Xtra Factor Winner’s Story 2014 (R,S,HD). 11.10 Film: Casper (S,HD) (1995). ●●●● 1.05 Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas (R,S). 2.05 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 3.05 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 4.10 Film: Nanny McPhee (S,HD) (2005). ●●●

AGATHA RAISIN AND THE QUICHE OF DEATH 8.30pm, Sky1

Ashley Jensen plays the title role in this quirky crime drama, based on the novels of MC Beaton. Bored with her new life in the Cotswolds, former London-based PR whizz Agatha Raisin re-doubles efforts to ingratiate herself with the local community.

E4 9.00 Melissa & Joey (R,S,HD). 9.30 Prep & Landing (R,S,HD). 9.55 Prep & Landing: Naughty v Nice (R,S,HD). 10.25 Father Christmas (R,S). 11.00 The Snowman (R,S). 11.30 The Snowman and the Snowdog (R,S,HD). 12.00 Film: Aliens in the Attic (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 1.45 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts (R,S). 2.00 Film: Tooth Fairy (S,HD) (2010). ●●● 4.05 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 4.30 Father Christmas (R,S). 5.05 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S).

Sky1 6.00 The Real A&E (R,S,HD). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 10.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.30 Treasure Island (R,S,HD).

Nanny McPhee, 4.10pm

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Agatha Raisin and ... 8.30pm

6.10 Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). An evil genius adopts three orphans to aid his latest plot, but fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell and Jason Segel. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/22. Homer is rushed to hospital.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). P 7.30 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24. The friends compete in a scavenger hunt.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 14/22. Featuring the guest voice of Kathleen Turner. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9/22.

8.00 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. 8.30 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/23. Sheldon bans Penny from the apartment.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/22. A cat burglar puts Springfield in a panic. 8.30 Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Tomorrow Never Dies (S,HD) (1997). James Bond battles to stop a media mogul’s plan to start a war between Britain and China. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce, Teri Hatcher and Michelle Yeoh. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

9.00 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24. The group spends the Thanksgiving holiday at Mrs Wolowitz’s house. 9.30 E4’s Top 20 – The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/23. Penny becomes addicted to a game.

FILM PICKS

THE BOY IN THE DRESS 6.55pm, BBC1

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE 8.30pm, BBC1

12.35 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2.15 Tricked (R,S,HD). 3.05 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 3.40 Educating Joey Essex: Football Fever (R,S,HD). 4.30 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 4.50 Christmas Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.50 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.20 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.50 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 2.25 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 3.20 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 3.45 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 4.10 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.35 One Tree Hill (R,S,HD).

A silent-movie star tries to win the heart of an aspiring actress as the dawn of sound changes the film business for ever. Musical comedy, starring Gene Kelly.

Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and the Hulk unite to defend Earth from an alien invasion. Superhero adventure, with Chris Hemsworth.

GOLD 7.00 Waiting for God (S). Diana looks to broaden her horizons. 7.40 Ripping Yarns (S). 8.20 Steptoe and Son (S). 9.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 10.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 11.00 Blackadder: The Whole Rotten Saga (S). 1.10 Blackadder Goes Forth (S). 5.15 Blackadder Back and Forth (S). 5.55 Only Fools and Horses (S).

Fawlty Towers, 9.40pm

7.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 8/8. Part two of two. The Trotters arrive in America and promptly suffer a setback when their camper van is burgled, and a Mafia gang targets Del. Feature-length episode of the comedy.

Sky Sports 1 7.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 8.00 One2Eleven (HD). 8.15 One2Eleven (S,HD). 8.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 9.00 One2Eleven (HD). 9.15 One2Eleven (HD). 9.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 10.00 Greatest Goals of 2014 (HD). 11.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 12.00 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 12.30 Live Football Special (HD). 3.15 Greatest Goals of 2014 (HD). 5.15 FL72 Live (HD).

Live Football Special, 12.30pm

8.00 SNF – Game of the Day (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the day’s top Premier League match.

9.00 Monty Python’s Best Bits (S). 1/5. The comedy troupe’s most popular sketches. 9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 2/6. Basil tries to save money on building costs.

10.25 Best of Not the Nine 10.30 Celebrity Juice: 10.00 Kick-Ass (S,HD) (2010). 10.30 A League of Their O’Clock News (S). 2/8. Own Christmas Party Parallel Juicyverse A teenager tries to Highlights from the (R,S,HD). James Corden Part One (R,S,HD). Part become a superhero, comedy sketch show. offers Jamie Redknapp, one of two. Keith but finds real-life crimeAndrew Flintoff and Jack Lemon looks back at the fighting much more Whitehall the chance to show’s best moments dangerous than in prepare a traditional from 2013, and falls into comics. Action comedy, Christmas dinner and a different dimension in starring Aaron Taylorpartake in a festive which everything is Johnson and Chloe sporting challenge. reversed. Grace Moretz. ●●●● 11.30 Celebrity Juice: Parallel Juicyverse Part Two (R,S,HD). Part two of two. Keith Lemon continues to look at highlights of the series.

SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN 1.50pm, BBC2

10.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents extended highlights from the Premier League, allowing viewers to access the latest round of top-flight fixtures, including Arsenal v Queens Park Rangers.

11.30 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 3/3. Comical incidents from the football world.

11.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 11.30 SNF – Match Choice 6/6. Alan’s career takes (HD). Extended an upturn. highlights from the 11.40 Saxondale (S). 5/7. Premier League. Tommy goes to the gym.

12.00 Britcam: Emergency on Our Streets (R,S). CCTV cameras capture an attack on a Hastings cab driver. 1.00 The Flash (R,HD). 2.00 Road Wars Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy tries to expose corporate corruption. 1.00 Coogan’s Run (S). Two insane trivia buff brothers break out of prison. 1.30 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 Saxondale (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Coogan’s Run (S). 3.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not in 3D (R,S). The most memorable film mishaps of 2011. 8.00 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). Clara and the Doctor end up trapped on an Arctic base under attack. 9.00 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (S,HD) (2004). Newsroom comedy, starring Will Ferrell. ●●● 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). The fallout continues for the Carters as more lies are exposed. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 1.05 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 1.35 Don’t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S,HD). 2.30 Bluestone 42 Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.00 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.35 Vodka Diaries (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Sacred Music: The Story of Allegri’s Miserere (R). 7.30 Carlos Acosta’s Cuban Night (HD). The varied styles of Cuban contemporary dance. 9.00 Wallander Faceless Killers. New series. The Swedish detective investigates the murder of an elderly man. 9.55 Wallander Faceless Killers. 10.50 Britain’s Most Dangerous Songs: Listen to the Banned (R,HD). Ten songs that were banned by the BBC. 11.50 More Dangerous Songs: And the Banned Played On (R,HD). Songs previously banned. 12.50 Frank Sinatra: The Voice of the Century – Arena Special (R). 2.25 Proms on Four: Battle of the Big Bands (R,HD).

BOXING DAY December 26

1.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 3.00 Football Gold (HD). 3.15 Football Gold (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 4.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.00 Football Gold (HD). 5.15 Football Gold (HD). 5.30 Football Gold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold (HD).

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from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 73

DARCY OAKE: EDGE OF REALITY 9.50pm, ITV

TV PICKS

BRUCEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HALL OF FAME 8.30pm, BBC1

Bruce Forsyth hosts a special from the London Palladium in which celebrities including Jessie Wallace, Jason Manford and Ben Miller perform as their idols.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 8.25 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen (S,HD). 11.30 Nigel Slaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Year Suppers (R,S,HD). 12.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 12.10 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.50 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 Lewis Hamilton: Duel of the Silver Arrows 2014 (S,HD). 2.10 Sport Relief: The Final Score (S,HD). 3.10 Film: How to Train Your Dragon (S,HD) (2010). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.40 Film: Kung Fu Panda 2 (S,HD) (2011). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

After wowing the judges in Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent earlier this year, the daredevil magician returns to the screen with a one-off special. Hosted by Christine Bleakley at Blackpoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Opera House, the show promises a mix of breathtaking, logicbending illusions in the grand old tradition of stage magic fused with Darcyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s modern twist.

BBC2

6.10 Natural World: Animal House (R,S,HD). 7.10 Film: Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (S,HD) (1977). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 8.50 Film: Ensign Pulver (S) (1964). Navy comedy, starring Robert Walker. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.30 TOTP2: Christmas 2014 (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Asian Adventure (R,S,HD). 1.00 Film: The Cheyenne Social Club (S) (1970). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.40 Yes Minister (R,S). 3.45 Film: The Eagle Has Landed (S,HD) (1976). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.55 Film: Dadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Army (S,HD) (1971). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

TOP GEAR PATAGONIA SPECIAL 8.30pm, BBC2

50 FUNNIEST MOMENTS 2014 9.30pm, Channel 4

Famous faces help count down the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top 50 hilarious incidents across the worlds of TV, music, sport, politics and the internet. Including Russian policemen singing at the Winter Olympics, former BNP leader Nick Griffin giving cookery lessons, Nicki Minajâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anaconda video and Pharrell Williamsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hat.

Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May take used sports cars on a gruelling trip to the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s southernmost city to stage a game of car football.

Channel 4

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 Weekend at Christmas (S,HD). 9.25 Film: Columbo: Negative Reaction (S,HD) (1974). Detective drama. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.30 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 12.25 The Cube (R,S). 1.25 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 2.30 Film: Back to the Future Part III (S,HD) (1990). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.40 Elf: Buddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Musical Christmas (R,S). 5.40 Regional News (S). 5.50 ITV News and Weather (S).

7.05 Lost and Found (R,S,HD). 7.30 Famous Fred (R,S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). A preview of todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s races from Kempton Park and Chepstow. 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 11.00 Film: Alaska (S,HD) (1996). Action adventure, with Thora Birch. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.10 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Chepstow and Kempton Park. 3.35 Film: Zulu (S,HD) (1964). Fact-based historical drama, starring Michael Caine. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.20 Access (R). 9.30 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 10.30 Film: Pal Joey (S,HD) (1957). Musical comedy, starring Frank Sinatra. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.45 Film: The Secret Garden (S) (1993). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drama, starring Kate Maberly. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.45 Film: Watership Down (S,HD) (1978). Animated drama, with the voice of John Hurt. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.35 Film: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (S) (1954). Musical Western, starring Howard Keel. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.10 Mission: Impossible 2 (S,HD) (2000). A secret agent battles a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind intent on stealing a deadly man-made virus. John Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise and Dougray Scott. Edited for language and violence. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

7.35 Chas & Daveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Xmas Knees Up! (R,S). Festive entertainment from 1982, featuring Eric Clapton and Jim Davidson.

9.30 50 Funniest Moments 2014 (S). See Choices Above.

9.30 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 9.35 The Haunting of Radcliffe House (S,HD). See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above.â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

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6.35 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). 6/11. The opening heat from Los Angeles.

7.40 The National Lottery: Win Your Wish List (S,HD). 1/8. New series. Shane Richie hosts this game show.

7.30 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow (R,S,HD). 1/2. The historian joins a team recreating a pioneering 280mile expedition through the natural wonder in 1869.

â&#x2013;ź

Chas & Daveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Xmas â&#x20AC;Ś 7.35pm

6.20 Channel 4 News (S). 6.40 Guy Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Passion for Life (S). Documentary following the life of the motorcycle racer and lorry mechanic.

8.30 Bruceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hall of Fame (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.30 Top Gear Patagonia Special (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

after

50 Funniest Moments 2014, 9.30pm

6.05 You Saw Them Here First (S). With Alexander Armstrong, Dame Edna Everage and Will Mellor.

9.40 Mrs Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boys (R,S,HD). The first of two festive editions. Mrs Brown is curious about a parcel addressed to Cathy.

9.30 James Mayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Toy Stories: Action Man at the Speed of Sound (R,S,HD). The Top Gear presenter attempts to propel an Action Man through the sound barrier, settling on an experimental supersonic vehicle made entirely from scratch.

â&#x2013;ź

An Audience with Joan Rivers, 11.05pm

10.15 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Live at the Apollo (S,HD). 5/6. Comedy sets by Hal Cruttenden, Justin Moorhouse and Tom Stade.

10.30 QI Christmas XL (S,HD). 13/16. Extended version of the festive edition, with Carrie Fisher, Bill Bailey and Jimmy Carr.

10.45 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather.

â&#x2013;ź

QI Christmas XL, 10.30pm

6.00 Regional News (S,HD). 6.20 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 4/10. With Andy Day. 6.50 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). With Ronni Ancona.

11.05 Not Going Out: The OutTakes (S,HD). Unscripted moments from the hit sitcom. 11.35 Not Going Out Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 10/10. Lee and Lucy turn a corner in their friendship. Last in the series.

11.15 Harry & Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story of the 2s (R,S,HD). An irreverent look at the history of BBC Two.

11.05 An Audience with Joan Rivers (R,S). The comedienne entertains a host of famous faces.

11.35 X-Men: The Last Stand (S,HD) (2006). Superhero adventure sequel, starring Hugh Jackman. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.30 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 14/45. Police believe a robbery suspect is also responsible for a series of thefts. 11.55 Access (R). Showbiz news and gossip.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Celebrity Mastermind, 6.20pm

12.20 Film: The Hot Chick (S,HD) (2002). Body-swap comedy, starring Rob Schneider. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.00 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 2.05 BBC News (S,HD).

12.15 Film: I Confess (S) (1953). Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thriller, starring Montgomery Clift. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.45 Sign Zone: Canterbury Cathedral (R,S). The treasurer applies for a ÂŁ12million grant from the Heritage Lottery Fund. 2.45 Sign Zone: Wonders of the Monsoon (R,S). 3.45 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.00 Film: Clockwise (S) (1986). Comedy, starring John Cleese. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.40 Jackpot247 (S). Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

1.35 Film: The Raven (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. Thriller, starring John Cusack. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 5.45 Small Animal Hospital (R,S). John Barrowman takes a special shine to a spaniel.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Hospital at Christmas (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Make It Big (R,S). 5.15 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

9.50 Darcy Oake: Edge of Reality (S,HD). See Choices Above.

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8.30 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). The QI regular and comedian throws a party for some of the stars of the last series, and RSPCA officer Derek Hampson hands out presents to rescue dogs across England and Wales.

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MOONFLEET 8pm, Sky1

A couple and their children move to an estate on the Yorkshire moors and are plagued by a series of paranormal events. Supernatural drama, with Olivia Williams and Matthew Modine.

ITV2

6.00 You’ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 6.20 Emmerdale (S,HD). 9.05 Coronation Street (S,HD). 12.35 I’m a Celeb: Junglicious Moments (R,S,HD). 1.35 You’ve Been Framed! Calendar Special (R,S). 2.40 Film: Horrid Henry: The Movie (S,HD) (2011). ●● 4.35 Film: The Lost World: Jurassic Park (S,HD) (1997). ●●●

Ray Winstone stars in this two-part adaptation of John Meade Falkner’s 19th-century novel following the adventures of an orphan and a grizzled smuggler thrown together on a dangerous quest to find a diamond. Local magistrate Mohune is determined to stamp out the smugglers’ activities – by whatever means necessary.

6.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 10.30 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 11.35 Taking New York: Sneak Peek (R,S,HD). 12.05 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 1.00 Film: The Spy Next Door (S,HD) (2010). Comedy, starring Jackie Chan. ●●● 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S,HD). 7.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 10.00 Soccer AM. 12.00 WWE Superstars. 1.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2014 (R,S). The three finalists must paint a portrait of Ian McKellen. Last in the series.

FILM PICKS

THE HAUNTING OF RADCLIFFE HOUSE 9.35pm, Channel 5

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 7pm, ITV

GOLD

7.00 Waiting for God (S). 7.40 Blackadder Goes Forth (S). 11.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2.45 The Vicar of Dibley (S). The villagers of Dibley discover their new vicar is a woman. 3.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). Rodney falls for a policewoman. 4.05 Porridge (S). Fletcher helps new inmate Godber settle in. 4.45 Open All Hours (S). 5.25 Fawlty Towers (S).

Predator 2, 10pm

Only Fools and Horses, 7.15pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 18/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 19/24.

6.30 Futurama (R,S,HD). 1/13. First episode of the sci-fi animation series.

6.00 Miranda (S). 1/6. 6.40 Blackadder II (S). 2/6. Edmund is appointed Lord High Executioner.

7.10 Johnny English (S,HD) (2003). A bumbling British secret agent tries to unmask a mysterious villain responsible for stealing the Crown Jewels. Comedy, with Rowan Atkinson, John Malkovich and Natalie Imbruglia. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 20/24. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/22. Marge goes on a girls’ night out. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/22. Homer and Marge seek a better life.

7.15 Only Fools and Horses (S). Del-Boy embarks on a new romance with Raquel, an actress he meets through a computer dating agency.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 23/24.

8.00 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 Fast & Furious (S,HD) (2009). A fugitive and an FBI agent are forced to work together once again to bring a killer to justice. Thriller sequel, with Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Michelle Rodriguez. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

9.00 Transporter 3 (S) (2008). Underworld courier Frank Martin transports the kidnapped daughter of a crooked government minister across Europe. Action thriller sequel, with Jason Statham and Natalya Rudakova. ●●●

9.00 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 2/2. John and Elzevir set sail for a new life in France, until they realise Blackbeard’s locket could lead them to the diamond.

10.00 Predator 2 (S) (1990). A tough cop investigating a series of gruesome murders discovers it is the work of an alien that kills for sport. Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Danny Glover and Bill Paxton. ●●● 11.05 Hostage (S,HD) (2005). Thriller, starring Bruce Willis. ●●

11.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24. Howard awaits the shuttle launch. 11.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1/24. Howard gets caught in a strange argument.

1.25 Release the Hounds (R,S,HD). 2.20 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 2.55 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 3.40 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD). 4.15 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 5.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records: Bonkingly Big Hits (R,S). 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 1.05 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 1.55 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.50 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 3.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.20 The 100 (R,S,HD).

Marty McFly is transported to the Wild West to save his scientist friend from death. Sci-fi comedy, with Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

The wizard searches for the artefacts that will allow him to destroy Voldemort. Fantasy adventure, starring Daniel Radcliffe.

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Johnny English, 7.10pm

BACK TO THE FUTURE PART III 2.30pm, ITV

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.15 Football League Gold (HD). 6.30 Football Gold (HD). 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview (HD). 8.00 Mini Game Changers. 8.30 Football Freestyler (S,HD). 9.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 Live SPFL Football (HD). 2.30 Live PRO12 Rugby Union (HD). 5.00 Live PRO12 Rugby Union (HD).

Live SPFL Football, 12pm

BBC3

7.00 Shrek (S,HD) (2001). Animated comedy, with the voice of Mike Myers. ●●●● 8.25 Donkey’s Carolling Christmastacular (S,HD). 8.30 Don’t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S,HD). Rotherham groom-to-be Steve is given £12,000 to plan every detail of his nuptials. 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S).

7.30 Top 14 Rugby Union 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). Highlights (HD). A look 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). back at the season so far. 1.00 Family Guy (R,S).

8.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). A chance to relive the best of Andy Cole’s goals. 8.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). Former goalkeeper Peter Schmeichel. 9.00 Monty Python’s Best Bits (S). 2/5. The comedy troupe’s most popular sketches. 9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 1/6. An abrasive guest exasperates Basil.

9.00 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). A profile of former England striker Alan Shearer. 9.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). A look at Ryan Giggs’s top-flight goals for Manchester United.

10.25 Best of Not the Nine O’Clock News (S). 3/8. Highlights of the sketch show.

10.00 SPFL Highlights (HD). Hibernian v Rangers. Action from the Scottish Championship encounter at Easter Road, as Hibs sought a second league win of the season over the Gers.

1.20 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.50 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 2.20 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.50 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.20 Some Girls (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank (R,HD). Christmas special from 1957. 7.30 Whisky Galore! (HD) (1949). Ealing comedy, starring Basil Radford. ●●●●● 8.50 Top of the Pops: A Christmas Cracker (R). 9.00 Inspector Montalbano (R). The detective suspects an apparent crime of passion is not as it seems. 10.50 Country Queens at the BBC (R). Country music performances by female artists. 11.50 Country Kings at the BBC (R). Compilation of performances by male country singers. 12.50 Dolly Parton: Platinum Blonde (R). 1.55 Sounds of the Eighties (R). 2.20 The Heart of Country: How Nashville Became Music City USA (R,HD).

SATURDAY December 27

11.00 Steve Coogan: Live ’n’ 11.00 Top 14 Rugby Union Lewd (S). A 1994 Highlights (HD). A look performance by the back at the season so far. actor and comedian. 11.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). A chance to relive the best of Andy Cole’s goals. 12.05 Stella (R,S,HD). The single mum makes plans to spend Christmas with Michael. 1.35 Trollied (R,S,HD). 2.05 Trollied (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Flash (R,S,HD). 3.20 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.10 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 5.00 Glee (R,S,HD). The students produce an erotic calendar.

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy struggles to save his relationship. 12.55 Coogan’s Run (S). 1.30 Steve Coogan: Live ’n’ Lewd (S). A 1994 performance by the actor and comedian. 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Coogan’s Run (S). 3.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

12.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 1.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 2.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 3.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 4.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 4.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.00 Football’s Greatest Players (S). 5.30 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD).

Be inspired by REAL LIFE WEDDINGS WINTER 2014

WWW.WEST-WEDDINGS.CO.UK

from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 75

STILL OPEN ALL HOURS 7.30pm, BBC1

TV PICKS

LAST TANGO IN HALIFAX 9pm, BBC1

New series. Celia and Alanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s honeymoon plans have to be put on hold, Gillian joins the dating scene and Caroline proposes to a heavily pregnant Kate.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: G-Force (S,HD) (2009). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.20 Film: Three Men and a Little Lady (S) (1990). Comedy sequel. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.00 Christmas of My Lifetime with Len Goodman (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.55 Call the Midwife (R,S,HD). 3.10 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 3.45 Film: Raiders of the Lost Ark (S,HD) (1981). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.35 Regional News (S,HD).

Granville is determined to play Cupid for Madge and Gastric, but he realises he will stand no chance of matchmaking the pair unless the latter improves his image. His plans take an inspired turn, however, when a salesman returns to town. David Jason stars in this follow-up to popular comedy Open All Hours.

BBC2

6.50 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 7.50 Film: Herbie Goes Bananas (S,HD) (1980). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.20 Coast Australia (R,S,HD). 10.10 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.40 The Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Asian Adventure (R,S,HD). 12.40 Julie Andrews: Talking Pictures (S). 1.25 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 2.25 Film: The Heroes of Telemark (S) (1965). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.30 Flog It! (R,S,HD).

THE QUEENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GARDEN 6pm, ITV

Part two of two. Alan Titchmarsh discovers all manner of animal visitors to Buckingham Palace Garden in winter, and as spring arrives early, he learns about its role as a nursery.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 Weekend at Christmas (S,HD). 9.25 Film: Columbo: Double Exposure (S,HD) (1973). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.15 The Cube (R,S,HD). 12.15 Michael Flatley: A Night to Remember (R,S,HD). 1.15 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 2.20 Catchphrase Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.20 Film: ET: The Extra-Terrestrial â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 20th Anniversary Edition (S,HD) (1982). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.35 Regional News (S). 5.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

MATCH OF THE DAY 10.25pm, BBC1

The latest Premier League highlights, including Southampton v Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester United. Plus Aston Villa v Sunderland, Hull City v Leicester City, Manchester City v Burnley, QPR v Crystal Palace, Stoke City v West Brom, West Ham United v Arsenal and Newcastle United v Everton.

Channel 4

6.10 NFL: The American Football Show (R,S,HD). 7.10 Little Wolfâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Book of Badness (R,S). 7.35 Ivor the Invisible (R,S). 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.35 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S,HD). 12.25 Film: Imagine That (HD) (2009). Fantasy comedy, starring Eddie Murphy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.35 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4.55 Channel 4 News (S). 5.00 Celebrity Fifteen To One Christmas Special (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.10 Access (R). 9.20 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 10.20 Carry On Christmas (R,S). 11.25 Greatest Ever Carry On Films (R,S). 12.25 Film: Carry On Spying (S) (1964). Comedy, starring Kenneth Williams. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.10 Film: Black Beauty (S,HD) (1994). Family drama, starring Sean Bean. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.55 Film: Out of Africa (S,HD) (1985). Fact-based romantic drama, starring Meryl Streep and Robert Redford. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 The Golden Compass (S,HD) (2007). Fantasy adventure, starring Dakota Blue Richards and Nicole Kidman. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Top Gear Patagonia Special (S,HD). 2/2. The conclusion of the two-part special in which Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May take three sports cars on a trip through Patagonia to the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s southernmost city.

8.00 All Star Family Fortunes Christmas Special (S,HD). New series. Coronation Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nazirs, led by Jimi Mistry, and Emmerdaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bartons, headed by Natalie J Robb, compete to win up to ÂŁ30,000 for charity. Vernon Kay hosts.

8.00 The Hotel (S). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Pay? Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). 3/10. Enforcement agents are faced with the difficult job of evicting a woman with two children â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a task that takes a turn for the worse when her ex-partner makes an appearance.

9.00 Racing Legends: Barry Sheene (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Jim Moir pays tribute to the former motorcycle racing world champion, examining how Sheene rose to the top of his sport and became a hugely popular public figure.

9.00 All New Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Be Alright on the Night (S,HD). Griff Rhys Jones presents a selection of TV bloopers, featuring Birds of a Feather, All Star Mr & Mrs, Come Dine with Me and EastEnders, plus Jack Whitehall putting his foot in it.

9.00 Homeland (S,HD). 12/12. Carrie and Saul are back in the US, where they investigate what she saw in Islamabad. CIA thriller, starring Claire Danes and Mandy Patinkin. Last in the series.

9.00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments 2014 (S). Countdown of the biggest showbusiness stories and scandals of the year, from Solange Knowles attacking Jay Z in a lift to Russell Brandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attempt to start a revolution.

7.00 Unbelievable Moments Caught on Camera (S,HD). Alastair Stewart presents extraordinary eyewitness footage filmed by members of the public.

Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014, 7pm

7.00 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). 7/11. The second heat from Los Angeles. 7.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

The Hotel, 8pm

6.00 The Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Garden (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 13/27. The team visits Durham Cathedral, where treasures include a sweetheart brooch linked to the Grenadier Guards and a set of documents offering information about the D-Day landings.

â&#x2013;ź

after

All New Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Be Alright On â&#x20AC;Ś 9pm

6.00 John Carter (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. Fantasy adventure, starring Taylor Kitsch. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 Last Tango in Halifax (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

Never Mind The Buzzcocks, 10.30pm

6.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 5/10. With Rob Deering, Amy Willerton, Andy Bell and Jason Watkins. 6.30 Countryfile (S,HD). Archive items about rural celebrations. 7.30 Still Open All Hours (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above.

10.00 Regional News (S,HD). 10.25 Match of the Day (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 House of Fools Christmas Special (S,HD). See Choices Above. 10.30 Never Mind the Buzzcocks (R,S,HD). 12/13. With Louis Walsh, Glen Matlock, Lloyd Langford and Melissa Steel.

10.00 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 10.15 Through the Christmas Keyhole (R,S,HD). Keith Lemon noses around the homes of mystery celebrities and challenges the panel â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jonathan Ross, Louis Walsh and Kym Marsh â&#x20AC;&#x201C; to work out their identities.

10.15 Gogglebox 2014 (R,S,HD). A chance to see some of the best moments from the past year of the reality show, featuring the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite armchair critics commenting on popular TV programmes.

â&#x2013;ź

Still Open All Hours, 7.30pm

11.55 The Football League Show (S). Highlights of the latest games in the Championship, League One and League Two.

11.00 The Wrong Mans (R,S,HD). 1&2/4. The return of the comedy thriller, starring James Corden and Mathew Baynton.

11.15 Premiership Rugby Union (S,HD). Highlights of the latest matches in English rugbyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s topflight competition.

11.50 Rude Tube Christmas Cracker 2014 (R,S). Alex Zane presents a selection of festive internet clips.

11.55 Autopsy: Michael Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Last Hours (R,S,HD). 1/3. Dr Richard Shepherd investigates the cases of celebrities who died unexpectedly.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

1.15 Film: Goal II: Living the Dream (S) (2007). Football drama sequel, starring Kuno Becker. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.05 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 3.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 The Comedy Vaults: BBC2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hidden Treasure (R,S,HD). Rarely seen moments from the channelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s archives. 1.00 Film: Suspicion (S) (1941). Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thriller, starring Cary Grant. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.40 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). 3.35 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). 4.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.10 The Store. Home shopping. 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.45 Father Ted (R,S). Dougal is led astray. 1.10 American Football Live (S,HD). Coverage of a match from the final week of the regular season. 4.55 NFL: Rush Zone (S,HD). Animation about a young American football fan. 5.20 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). A mother and daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unusual eating habits are revealed.

12.55 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The opening heat from Los Angeles. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Make It Big (R,S). 5.15 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

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76 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

THE HOTEL 8pm, Channel 4

Bobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas celebrations are cut short when the special present he organised for Erik is engulfed in flames. Festive edition of the sitcom, starring Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.

ITV2

6.00 Ariana Grande: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 8.55 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.25 Film: Jurassic Park (S,HD) (1993). Action adventure, starring Sam Neill. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.50 Film: The Mummy Returns (S,HD) (2001). Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.20 Elf: Buddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Musical Christmas (R,S).

New series. Following Mark Jenkins two years after he was forced to sell his own hotel, the Grosvenor. Back in Torquay and alongside ex-colleague Alison, the former hotelier takes on the new role of entertainments manager at the 90-bed Cavendish Hotel.

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 6.45 Prep & Landing (R,S,HD). 7.05 Prep & Landing: Naughty v Nice (R,S,HD). 7.30 The Bear (R,S). 8.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 9.00 Taking New York: Sneak Peek (R,S,HD). 9.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. Theresa grows suspicious about Dodgerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s whereabouts. 12.00 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power (S). 7.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.30 Futurama (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R). 11.00 WWE: Experience. 12.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.00 Treasure Island (R,S,HD). Part two of two. Jim and Silver face an extremely tough decision. 4.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

HOUSE OF FOOLS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 10pm, BBC2

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK 3.45pm, BBC1

Indiana Jones tries to locate the Ark of the Covenant before the Nazis get their hands on it. Action adventure with Harrison Ford.

GOLD

7.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp (S). 7.25 The Two Ronnies. 8.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 8.55 Only Fools and Horses (S). 9.35 Porridge (S). 10.15 Open All Hours (S). 10.55 Miranda (S). 11.35 Blackadder II (S). 12.15 The Two Ronnies. 1.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2.45 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.05 Porridge (S). 4.45 Open All Hours (S). 5.25 Fawlty Towers (S).

Die Another Day, 6.20pm

The Big Bang Theory, 12pm

Got to Dance ... 8pm

Fawlty Towers, 9.40pm

6.20 Die Another Day (S,HD) (2002). James Bond spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/24. 6.30 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 24/24.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 17/22. Bart wins an elephant. 6.30 Futurama (S,HD). 9/13. Leela grows a set of tentacles.

6.10 Miranda (S). 2/6. Miranda tries to learn French. 6.50 Blackadder II (S). 6/6. Edmund and Lord Melchett are kidnapped.

7.00 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 23/23. 7.30 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24.

7.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9/22. Years of pent-up grief bubble to the surface when Barry encounters Reverse Flash, the man who killed his mother.

7.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). Rodney leaves home after a fight with Cassandra and arranges a date with receptionist Tanya.

8.00 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 21/24. 8.30 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/23.

8.00 Got to Dance: A Celebration (S,HD). A look back at the highs and lows of the dance competition, following the news that the most recent series â&#x20AC;&#x201C; which ended in August â&#x20AC;&#x201C; was to be the last.

9.00 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24. 9.30 E4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/23.

9.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 8/24. Phil steps up to the plate to cook Thanksgiving dinner. 9.30 Trollied (R,S,HD). 8/8. Charity day arrives at the supermarket. Last in the series.

9.00 The Bourne Identity (S,HD) (2002). An amnesiac man pulled from the sea by the crew of a fishing boat is targeted by assassins as he tries to discover who he is. Thriller, starring Matt Damon and Franka Potente. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Football Gold (HD). 7.30 SPFL Highlights (HD). 8.30 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.00 Goals on Sunday (HD). 11.55 FL72 Live (HD). Nottingham Forest v Birmingham City (Kick-off 12.00pm). 1.55 Live Ford Super Sunday (HD). Southampton v Chelsea (Kickoff 2.05pm). 4.00 Live Ford Super Sunday (HD). Newcastle United v Everton (Kick-off 4.15pm).

Live Super Sunday, 1.55pm

7.00 Greatest Goals of 2014 (HD). Highlights of outstanding strikes from a variety of leagues.

A boy befriends a stranded alien. Sci-fi fantasy starring Henry Thomas.

BBC3

7.00 The Gruffalo (R,S,HD). Animated adaptation of the childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book, with the voice of Robbie Coltrane. 7.30 The Gruffaloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Child (R,S,HD). 8.00 Shrek 2 (S,HD) (2004). Animated adventure sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.25 Live at the Apollo (S,HD). 9.55 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 10.25 Family Guy (R,S). 10.50 Family Guy (R,S). 11.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.35 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.55 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD).

12.25 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 12.55 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 1.25 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 1.55 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.25 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.55 Cuckoo Christmas (R,S,HD). 3.25 Bad 8.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Game of the Day Special Education (R,S).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top Premier League match.

9.00 Monty Pythonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Bits (S). 3/5. The comedy troupeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular sketches. 9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 2/6. Basil goes to great lengths to prove a guest has smuggled a woman into his room.

10.30 Best of Not the Nine 10.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest 10.00 End of Days (S,HD) Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Clock News (S). 4/8. Moments (R,S,HD). 3/3. (1999). A former police Highlights of the Another line up of officer protects an comedy show, starring famous football fans innocent woman from the Rowan Atkinson and single out their favourite Devil, who plans to bring Mel Smith. funny moments from about Armageddon. the world of the Supernatural thriller, beautiful game. starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Gabriel Byrne. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

10.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents extended highlights from the Premier League, allowing viewers to access the latest round of top-flight fixtures, which included Aston Villa v Sunderland.

BBC4

7.00 The Bermuda Triangle: Beneath the Waves (R). Professor Bruce Denardo investigates why ships and planes have vanished in the mysterious region. 8.00 Return to Betjemanland (R,HD). The life of John Betjeman. 9.00 The Good Shepherd (2006). A CIA worker faces a terrible choice between national security and ensuring the safety of his family. Fact-based spy drama, with Matt Damon and Robert De Niro, who also directed. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.35 The Kate Bush Story: Running Up That Hill (R,HD). Exploring the singerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s career. 12.35 Kate Bush at the BBC (R). 1.40 Dolly Parton @ Glastonbury 2014 (R,HD). 2.50 John Denver: Country Boy (R,HD).

SUNDAY December 28

11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 11.30 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice. 11.00 A League of Their 1/6. Alan makes a TV Own Christmas Party. Extended highlights comeback. Festive edition. from the Premier 11.40 The Trip (S). 1/6. League. 11.30 50 Ways to Kill Your Comedy, starring Steve Mammy (R,S,HD). 1/6. Baz Coogan and Rob Brydon. Ashmawy and his mum travel to Las Vegas and LA.

11.15 Saw II (S,HD) (2005). Horror sequel, starring Donnie Wahlberg. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

1.10 Release the Hounds (R,S,HD). 2.10 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 2.45 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 3.35 Educating Joey Essex: Winter Essex-Pedition (R,S,HD). 4.25 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 4.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.10 Christmas Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.35 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

Sky Sports 1

ET: THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION 3.20pm, ITV

12.25 The IT Crowd Special: The Internet Is Coming (R,S,HD). 1.30 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2013 (R,S,HD). Alex Zane presents 100 memorable internet clips. 3.25 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. Theresa grows suspicious about Dodgerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s whereabouts.

12.30 Trollied (R,S,HD). 1.00 Trollied (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Flash (R,S,HD). Barry asks Arrow to help capture a villain. 2.30 Micky Flanaganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Detour de France (R,S,HD). 3.30 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 4.20 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 5.10 UK Border Force (R,S,HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy relives the madness of his youth. 12.55 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). Horror spoof, starring Steve Coogan. 1.30 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 The Trip (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). 3.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

1.00 Goals on Sunday (HD). 2.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 2.30 Football Gold (HD). 3.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Players (S). 3.30 Football Gold. 4.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Players (S). 4.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Players (S). 5.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD).

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0LQL &RRSHU FDU KLUH 8QLW % Â&#x2021; 'XUQIRUG 6WUHHW $VKWRQ Â&#x2021; %ULVWRO %6 $: from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 77

TV PICKS

MAPP AND LUCIA 9.05pm, BBC1

New series. Period comedy about the social rivalry between two women in a small town after one rents the other’s home for the summer. Continues tomorrow.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 8.00 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 9.30 Film: Flushed Away (S,HD) (2006). ●●● 10.50 Film: Megamind (S,HD) (2010). ●●●● 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.15 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.40 Film: Bedknobs and Broomsticks (S,HD) (1971). ●●● 3.35 Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave (R,S,HD). 4.05 Film: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (S,HD) (1984). ●●●● 5.55 BBC News (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 9pm, Channel 4

Jimmy Carr hosts the panel show’s version of the words-and-numbers quiz, with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by guests including Kathy Burke. Alex Horne joins Countdown’s resident lexicographer Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner, while Joe Wilkinson assists Rachel Riley.

BBC2

6.10 Sign Zone: Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes (R,S). 6.40 The Football League Show (R,S). 8.00 Orangutans: The Great Ape Escape – Natural World (R,S,HD). 9.00 Coast Australia (R,S,HD). 9.50 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 10.50 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 11.50 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure (R,S,HD). 12.50 David Niven: Talking Pictures (R,S). 1.40 Film: Around the World in 80 Days (S,HD) (1956). ●●●● 4.30 Big Dreams Small Spaces (R,S,HD). 5.30 Wild Brazil (R,S,HD).

DARCEY BUSSELL’S LOOKING FOR AUDREY 10.30pm, BBC1

MADE IN CHELSEA: END OF SEASON PARTY 9pm, E4

Strictly judge and former Royal Ballet star Darcey Bussell explores the work and private life of muchloved actress Audrey Hepburn.

ITV

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 7.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 11.30 Who’s Doing the Dishes? (R,S,HD). 12.30 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 1.15 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.25 Regional News (S). 1.30 Secret Dealers (S,HD). 2.30 Surprise Surprise Christmas Special (R,S). 3.30 Film: Dr No (S,HD) (1962). ●●●●● 5.35 The Chase (R,S,HD).

Rick Edwards is joined by the stars of the reality show to discuss some of the most talked-about scenes of the eighth series. The programme includes the latest news regarding Spencer and Lauren, and a chance to discover who Stevie found under his Christmas tree.

Channel 4

6.15 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 6.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7.20 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.10 Frasier (R,S). 9.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 12.00 Film: Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 1.50 Deal or No Deal: Merry Christmas (S,HD). 2.50 Film: Brewster’s Millions (S,HD) (1985). ●●● 4.50 Channel 4 News (S). 5.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 11.00 Film: Carry On Sergeant (S) (1958). Comedy, starring William Hartnell. ●●● 12.50 Film: The Glenn Miller Story (HD) (1954). Musical biopic, starring James Stewart. ●●●● 3.05 Film: The Dam Busters (S,HD) (1954). Fact-based Second World War drama, starring Michael Redgrave. ●●●●● 5.35 What the Dambusters Did Next (R,S,HD).

Countrywise, 8pm

Mini Cooper: For The … 8pm

6.30 Nature’s Weirdest Events (R,S,HD). 1/3. Featuring dogs that commute on the Moscow metro.

6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Italian Job (S,HD) (1969). Crime comedy, starring Michael Caine. ●●●●●

7.30 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow (R,S,HD). 2/2. The historian and his team conclude their re-creation of the pioneering 280-mile expedition in 1869.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity sows the seeds of doubt with Megan. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Andrea is horrified to find out the Street Cars account is £10,000 overdrawn.

▼

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Ronnie realises Dot and Charlie have been manipulated. 8.30 Miranda (R,S,HD). 1/2. Miranda has two proposals to decide between.

8.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 6/10. York takes on Surrey.

8.00 Countrywise (S,HD). 8/8. Paul Heiney turns rambling guide in the Lake District. Last in the series. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Steve tells Eileen and Andrea the bank has made a mistake about the account.

8.00 Mini Cooper: For the Love of Cars (R,S,HD). 4/7. Ant Anstead restores a Mini Cooper Mk1 rescued from a barn in Dublin, while Philip Glenister meets Formula 1 legend Stirling Moss, who takes one for a spin.

8.00 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). Action from the third heat at the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles, where British contender Eddie Hall was expected to book his place in the Grand Final. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

9.05 Mapp and Lucia (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Snow Wolf Family and Me (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

9.00 Christmas Epic Fails (S,HD). Angus Deayton celebrates the funny side of Christmas, featuring everything from cringeworthy gifts and festive fads to cheesy songs, unsettling Santas and TV bloopers.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Christmas Special (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 The Rock (S,HD) (1996). See Choices Above. Includes 5 News Update. ●●●●

10.05 BBC News (S,HD). 10.20 Regional News (S). 10.30 Darcey Bussell’s Looking for Audrey (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 Dave Allen: God’s Own Comedian (R,S,HD). A look at the life, career and legacy of the Irish comedy writer and performer, featuring interviews with family and friends and rare archive material.

11.35 Sport Relief: The Final Score (R,S,HD). A look back at the 2014 event.

11.00 The Wrong Mans (R,S,HD). 3&4/4. Part two of two. Sam and Phil take part in a heist with a gang of mercenaries.

12.35 Film: Eurotrip (S,HD) (2004). Comedy, with Scott Mechlowicz. ●●● 2.05 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 2.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Film: Notorious (S) (1946). Alfred Hitchcock’s thriller, starring Cary Grant. ●●●●● 1.40 Sign Zone: The Apprentice (R,S). The two finalists launch their businesses in a task to determine the winner. Last in the series. 3.40 Sign Zone: The Mekong River with Sue Perkins (R,S). 4.40 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

10 11

▼

after

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 Atonement (S,HD) (2007). A girl accuses her sister’s lover of a crime he did not commit, unaware her actions will have tragic repercussions. Romantic period drama, starring Keira Knightley and James McAvoy. ●●●●●

7.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). Paul and Steve call for police back-up after opening a wooden case they find while carrying out an eviction notice. Followed by 5 News Update.

10.00 The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2014 (R,S,HD). Richard Ayoade, David Mitchell, Mel B, Micky Flanagan, Sarah Millican and Kevin Bridges battle it out to see who knows the most about the past 12 months. Jimmy Carr hosts.

11.50 Reservoir Dogs (S) (1992). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

12.25 Jackpot247 (S). Interactive gaming. 3.00 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 NFL: The American Football Show (S,HD). 1.00 Film: The Omen (S,HD) (1976). Horror. ●●●● 2.55 Film: Flight of the Phoenix (S,HD) (2004). Action adventure. ●●● 4.45 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (S,HD). 5.05 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD). 5.30 Film: The Parent Trap (S,HD) (1961). Disney comedy. ●●●

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Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away, 7pm

1.50 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 World’s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The second heat from Los Angeles. 4.00 Great Scientists (R,S). Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei. 4.25 House Doctor (R,S). A Kent couple seek advice. 4.50 House Doctor (R,S). 5.15 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

Dave Allen: God’s Own … 10pm

6.10 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.20 The Muppets (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. Comedy, starring Jason Segel. ●●●●

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 8pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

Merry Christmas Happy New Year to all customers old and new

01179715772

©LW

Part one of two. Wildlife cameraman Gordon Buchanan explores the lives and habits of Arctic wolves, revealing the secrets of one of the world’s most feared predators.

Mitch reluctantly lets his distressed colleague Brenda stay the night, Phil and Claire think Alex has let her imagination run wild after she tells them she has a boyfriend, and Jay hits a Manny-shaped obstacle while trying to get out of accompanying Gloria to a party. Kirsten Johnston guest stars.

ITV2 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Full Throttle (R,S). 6.50 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.15 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 8.15 Wonderful World of The X Factor (R,S,HD). 9.10 The X Factor: Your Top Ten (R,S,HD). 10.10 Film: Beethoven (S,HD) (1991). ●●●● 11.55 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.40 Catchphrase Celebrity Special (R,S,HD). 5.40 A Night in with Olly Murs (R,S,HD).

6.00 Rude(ish) Tube. 6.25 Charmed. 7.10 Rules of Engagement. 7.35 Rude(ish) Tube. 8.00 Hollyoaks. 8.35 Brooklyn Nine-Nine. 9.00 How I Met Your Mother. 10.00 Film: Aliens in the Attic (2009). ●●● 11.45 Rude Tube. 12.00 Rules of Engagement. 1.00 How I Met Your Mother. 2.00 The Big Bang Theory. 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube. 3.30 Bad(ish) Robots. 4.00 Troy. 4.30 The Big Bang Theory. 5.00 How I Met Your Mother.

Sky1 6.00 The Real A&E (R,S,HD). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 12.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

MODERN FAMILY 8pm, Sky1

SNOW WOLF FAMILY AND ME 9pm, BBC2

THE ROCK 9pm, Channel 5

RESERVOIR DOGS 11.50pm, Channel 5

An FBI chemical weapons expert and a jailed SAS veteran must break into Alcatraz to bring down a renegade general. Action thriller, with Sean Connery.

GOLD

A failed robbery ends in a bloodbath, and as the criminals lie low they try to work out whether someone betrayed them. Thriller, with Harvey Keitel and Tim Roth.

Sky Sports 1

7.05 The Two Ronnies. 8.05 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 8.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). 9.25 Porridge (S). 10.05 Open All Hours (S). 10.45 Miranda (S). 11.25 Blackadder II (S). 12.05 The Two Ronnies. 1.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.00 Porridge (S). 4.40 Open All Hours (S). 5.20 Fawlty Towers (S).

BBC3

6.00 Football Gold (HD). 7.00 WWE: Bottom Line (HD). 8.00 Live Big Bash Cricket (HD). Sydney Sixers v Perth Scorchers. 11.30 Soccer Extra (HD). 1.30 FL72 Review (HD). A round-up of recent matches. 2.30 Football Gold (HD). 3.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 4.00 Soccer Extra (HD). A round-up of the latest football news and goals.

A Night in with Olly ... 5.40pm

Made in Chelsea ... 9pm

Modern Family, 8pm

Best of Not the Nine ... 10.25pm

Monday Night Football, 7pm

6.45 Back to the Future (S,HD) (1985). Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox. ●●●●●

6.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sandy returns to the village. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. Howard returns from space.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22. Bart’s antics get Principal Skinner fired.

6.10 Miranda (S). 3/6. Penny urges Miranda to improve her career prospects. 6.50 Blackadder II (S). 4/6. A bishop menaces Edmund.

6.00 FL72 Review (HD). A round-up of recent matches.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24. Stuart and Raj host a party. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory: Access All Areas (R,S,HD). A visit to the set.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/22. Bart faces a dilemma. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/22. Grandma Bouvier is swept off her feet by Grampa.

7.30 Only Fools and Horses (S). Always one to jump on the latest bandwagon, Del-Boy goes ecofriendly and launches a bottled water business.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2/23. Leonard gets back together with Leslie Winkle. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/23. Penny becomes addicted to an online game.

8.00 Modern Family (S,HD). 9/24. See Choices Above. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 10/24. Claire and Phil threaten to cancel their festive celebrations.

7.00 Live Ford Monday Night Football (HD). Liverpool v Swansea City (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the Premier League match from Anfield, where the teams meet for the first time since their League Cup clash here in October.

9.00 The Bourne Ultimatum 9.00 Made in Chelsea: End (S,HD) (2007). The of Season Party (S,HD). amnesiac assassin regains 12/12. See Choices Above. his memory, just as a CIA director sets in motion a plan to kill him. Spy thriller sequel, starring Matt Damon, Julia Stiles and David Strathairn. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●● 10.00 Rude Tube Christmas Cracker 2014 (R,S). Alex Zane presents a selection of festive internet clips that have proved popular around the world, featuring a mashed-up Monty the penguin and Mariah Carey with a beard.

9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 4/8. Karl Pilkington heads to Alaska, where Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant have arranged for him to watch whales and take part in other activities.

12.15 Family Guy (R,S). 12.35 Him & Her: The Wedding (R,S,HD). 1.05 Him & Her: The Wedding (R,S,HD). 1.30 Him & Her: The Wedding (R,S,HD). 2.00 Him & Her: The Wedding (R,S,HD). 2.30 Him & Her: The Wedding (R,S,HD). 3.00 Don’t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S).

10.25 Best of Not the Nine 10.00 Micky Flanagan’s O’Clock News (S). 5/8. Detour de France Highlights of the sketch (R,S,HD). 1/4. The show. comedian and his best friend Noel Lynch hop on their bicycles to sample the sights and sounds of France, starting out along a cobbled road between Paris and Roubaix. 11.00 Boxing – Greatest Knockouts of 2014 (HD). A look at memorable stoppages. 11.30 FL72 Review (HD). A round-up of recent matches.

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 2.10 Release the Hounds (R,S,HD). 3.00 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 3.35 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 4.20 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 4.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.35 Rixton: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 1.00 Ford Monday Night Football (HD). Liverpool v Swansea City. 3.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 4.00 Football Gold (HD). 4.15 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 5.15 Football Gold (HD). 5.30 Football Gold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold (HD).

12.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). Barry encounters the man who killed his mother. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 4.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy and Raymond prevent a suicide. 1.00 Dr Terrible’s House of Horrible (S). 1.30 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 The Trip (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Dr Terrible’s House of Horrible (S). 3.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

BBC4

7.00 Pompeii: The Mystery of the People Frozen in Time (R,HD). How the citizens’ bodies were preserved by the 79AD eruption of Vesuvius. 8.00 RI Lectures: Sparks Will Fly: How to Hack Your Home (HD). New series. How everyday items can be adapted to do extraordinary things. 9.00 Al Murray’s Great British Spy Movies (HD). 10.00 The Ipcress File (HD) (1965). Spy thriller, starring Michael Caine. ●●●● 11.45 The Joy of the Guitar Riff (R,HD). 12.45 Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music (R,HD). 1.45 Glen Campbell: The Rhinestone Cowboy (R,HD). 2.45 Al Murray’s Great British Spy Movies (R).

MONDAY December 29

9.00 Monty Python’s Best Bits (S). 4/5. The comedy troupe’s most popular sketches. 9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 3/6. Basil tries to stop an unmarried couple lowering moral standards.

11.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S). 11.00 Trollied (R,S,HD). 5/8. 11.20 Celebrity Juice: 2041 – 11.05 The Big Bang Theory 2/6. Alan agrees to host (R,S,HD). 16/17. Penny Rose and Margaret get a A Juice Odyssey a sales conference. plans a party for Leonard. blast from the past. (R,S,HD). 13/13. Highlights of the sixth 11.40 The Trip (S). 2/6. Steve 11.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.30 Trollied (R,S,HD). 6/8. series of the comedy and Rob visit L’Enclume (R,S,HD). 17/17. Penny Management fear an quiz. in Cumbria. agrees to a date with uprising when canteen Leonard. prices are hiked up. 12.00 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.30 The IT Crowd (R,S). 1.00 Rude Tube Christmas Cracker 2014 (R,S). 2.05 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 3.00 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 3.45 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.05 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.30 Charmed (R,S).

7.00 Bolt (S,HD) (2008). Animated adventure, with the voice of John Travolta. ●●●● 8.30 Shrek the Third (S,HD) (2007). Animated sequel, with the voice of Mike Myers. ●●● 9.55 Hammy’s Boomerang Adventure (R,S,HD). 10.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). Mr Fraser organises a guest speaker for Drugs Awareness Day. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Ronnie realises Dot and Charlie have been manipulated. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.50 American Dad! (S,HD).

ACCESSIBLE COACH TRIPS For details of any of the listed trips please contact us on 0117 9372364 or e-mail Linb777@outlook.com. If you are interested in going to a destination that is not listed, please ask. FRI 2ND JAN 2015

SWINDON OUTLET CENTRE - leave 9 a.m return 3 p.m

£15 (£12 CON) AGE 17 OR UNDER £8

TUE 6TH JAN 2015

CADBURY GARDEN CENTRE - leave 9 a.m return 3 p.m

£16 (£13 CONC) AGE 17 OR UNDER £9

THUR 15TH JAN 2015

SLIMBRIDGE - leave 9 a.m return 3 p.m

THURS 22ND JAN 2015

CADBURY’S WORLD - leave 8.30 a.m. return 5 p.m.

£ 39 (£37 CONC) AGE 17 OR UNDER £30 PRICE INCLUDES ENTRANCE FEE

THUR 29TH JAN 2015

WESTON HELICOPTER MUSEUM - leave 9 a.m. return 3 p.m.

£23 (£20 CONC) AGE 17 OR UNDER £15 PRICE INCLUDES ENTRANCE FEE

THUR 5TH FEB 2015

THE MALL CRIBBS CAUSEWAY - leave 9 a.m. return 3 p.m.

£27 (£24 CONC) AGE 17 OR UNDER £17 price includes entrance fee

£10 (£8 CONC) AGE 17 OR UNDER £6

If you cancel once a coach or minibus has been booked your money can only be returned if your seat reservation is resold. Coach may be cancelled if less than half full.

from Friday, December 19, 2014

©LW

WEEKEND 79

TV PICKS

PHIL SPENCER: SECRET AGENT 8pm, Channel 4

MAPP AND LUCIA 9pm, BBC1

New series. Phil visits Hereford and Gloucester, helping a recently separated pair sell their home, and meeting a couple who need more space for their family.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: Shark Tale (S,HD) (2004). Animated comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.25 Film: Hotel for Dogs (S,HD) (2009). Family comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Regional News (S). 1.25 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 2.10 Film: George of the Jungle (S,HD) (1997). Comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.35 Film: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (S,HD) (1989). Action adventure sequel. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.35 BBC News (S,HD). 5.50 Regional News (S).

Mapp is still reeling from Luciaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s victory at the summer fete and is left to watch disconsolately as the locals flock to her rivalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s little dinner parties across the street. Before long, however, she sees her chance for revenge. Period comedy, starring Miranda Richardson, Anna Chancellor and Steve Pemberton. Concludes tomorrow.

BBC2

6.15 Sign Zone: Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom (R,S). 7.15 Film: When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (S) (1970). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 8.50 Coast Australia (R,S,HD). 9.40 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 10.40 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 11.40 The Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Asian Adventure (R,S,HD). 12.40 Robert Redford: Talking Pictures (R,S). 1.20 Film: The Horse Whisperer (S) (1998). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.00 Big Dreams Small Spaces (R,S,HD). 5.00 Wild Brazil (R,S,HD).

CHARLIE BROOKERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S 2014 WIPE 10pm, BBC2

COME DINE WITH ME CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 7.05pm, Channel 4

A satirical look back at the events of the past 12 months, including the icebucket challenge craze and Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;conscious uncouplingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

ITV

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 7.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 11.30 Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doing the Dishes? (R,S,HD). 12.25 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 1.10 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.15 Regional News (S). 1.20 Secret Dealers (R,S,HD). 2.20 The Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Garden (R,S,HD). 3.20 Film: From Russia with Love (S,HD) (1963). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.35 The Chase (R,S,HD).

First to host is former Coronation Street actress Helen Flanagan. The second night sees childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV presenter Kirsten Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien with a Scandinavianstyle bash. Comic Mark Dolan then takes everyone back to Victorian England with a Dickensian Christmas, before Happy Mondays frontman Shaun Ryder rounds off the week.

Channel 4

Channel 5

7.45 Film: Freaky Friday (S,HD) (1976). Disney fantasy comedy, starring Jodie Foster. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.55 Film: Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back (S,HD) (2010). Premiere. Animated sci-fi comedy sequel, with the voice of Zack Shada. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 2.25 Deal or No Deal: Merry Christmas (S,HD). 3.25 Film: The Parent Trap (S,HD) (1998). Comedy remake, starring Lindsay Lohan. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.35 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 10.35 The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 11.35 Film: Fun in Acapulco (S,HD) (1963). Musical comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.35 Film: Close Encounters of the Third Kind: The Directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cut (S,HD) (1977). Sci-fi drama, starring Richard Dreyfuss. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.15 Film: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (S,HD) (1968). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s musical adventure, starring Dick Van Dyke. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014, 8pm

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Nicola drops a bombshell on Jimmy. 7.30 Wilderness Walks with Ray Mears (S,HD). 6/6. A trip to the Isle of Skye in search of the white-tailed eagle.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.05 Come Dine with Me Christmas Special (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.00 Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Pay? Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). High Court enforcement officers Paul, Steve and Ben make a shocking discovery when they break into a home. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (S,HD) (2011). The young wizard and his friends face their final battle with the forces of the dark lord Voldemort. Conclusion of the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe and Ralph Fiennes. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). Action from the fourth and penultimate heat at the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles, which featured threetime champion Zydrunas Savickas. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 David Blaine: Real or Magic (R,S,HD). The illusionist performs mind-boggling tricks for a host of celebrities, including Katy Perry, Will Smith, Kanye West, Jamie Foxx, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Hawking.

9.00 Elvis by the Presleys (R,S). See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/23. Homer becomes a hippie. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sandy returns to the village and learns Freddie is suspected of murder.

â&#x2013;ź

David Blaine: Real Or Magic, 9pm

6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.40 ITV News and Weather (S).

â&#x2013;ź

Wilderness Walks â&#x20AC;Ś 7.30pm

6.00 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 20/32. The team visits Bognor Regis. 6.30 Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weirdest Events (R,S,HD). 2/3. Bees in France that are making multicoloured honey. 7.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 7/10. Manchester Metropolitan University takes on Goldsmiths, University of London.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). A familiar face returns to Albert Square.

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 12/52. See Choices Above.

8.00 Sacred Wonders of Britain (R,S,HD). 1/3. Neil Oliver investigates the hallowed sites of ancient Britain, looking at how people expressed their religious beliefs by reshaping the landscape around them.

9.00 Mapp and Lucia (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Snow Wolf Family and Me (S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Gordon Buchanan returns to the Canadian Arctic in autumn and follows the wolves as they hunt lemmings, musk oxen and hares, and encounter a rival pack.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.15 Regional News (S). 10.20 National Lottery Update (S). 10.25 Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s End (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

10 11

University Challenge, 7.30pm

6.00 Weather (S). 6.05 Madagascar 3: Europeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Wanted (S,HD) (2012). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Mapp And Lucia, 9pm

â&#x2013;ź

after

1.00 Film: The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (S,HD) (1992). Thriller, starring Rebecca De Mornay. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.45 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 2.50 BBC News (S,HD).

10.00 Charlie Brookerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2014 Wipe (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.30 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 10.45 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD). 1/8. Dorien takes Sharon and Tracey to the Canary Islands.

11.00 Dave Allen: The Immaculate Selection (R,S). Memorable routines by the comedian.

11.15 American Gangster (S,HD) (2007). Fact-based crime drama, starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

12.00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad (S,HD). 12.45 Film: Spellbound (S) (1945). Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thriller, starring Gregory Peck. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.35 Sign Zone: Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Food Markets (R,S). 3.35 Sign Zone: Doctor Who (R,S). 4.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

1.55 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

80 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

10.20 The Look of Love (S,HD) (2013). Premiere. Fact-based drama about Paul Raymond, who became one of Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wealthiest men through an empire of strip clubs and pornography. Starring Steve Coogan and Anna Friel. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.00 Elvis: â&#x20AC;&#x2122;68 Comeback Special (R,S). A classic Elvis Presley TV show from December 1968.

12.20 Film: Damien: Omen II (S,HD) (1978). Horror sequel, starring William Holden. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.10 Film: If (S,HD) (1968). Satirical drama, starring Malcolm McDowell. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.05 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). A cottage in Shoreham-by-Sea, West Sussex. 5.00 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). 5.55 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD).

12.00 The Last Hours of Elvis Presley (R,S,HD). Dr Richard Shepherd investigates the death of the singer. 1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The third heat from Los Angeles. 4.00 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

Dominicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past returns to haunt him with the arrival of an old face â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and things get really tricky when the pair of them become trapped in a lift together. Mo puts on a brave face when she realises Adele is taking Jesse to a family wedding and is determined to find her own date.

ITV2 6.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed: Kids! (R,S). 6.50 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.15 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 8.10 The X Factor: The Boss Is Back (R,S,HD). 9.10 The X Factor: Cheryl Looks Back (R,S,HD). 10.15 Film: Beethovenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2nd (S,HD) (1993). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.05 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.30 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.45 Catchphrase Celebrity Special (R,S,HD). 5.45 Darcy Oake: Edge of Reality (R,S,HD).

E4 6.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 6.25 Charmed (R,S). 7.10 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 7.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 8.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 8.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Bad(ish) Robots (R,S,HD). 9.35 Troy (R,S,HD). 10.05 Film: The Spiderwick Chronicles (S,HD) (2008). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.05 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 3.30 Bad(ish) Robots (S,HD). 4.00 Troy (S,HD). 4.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

HOLBY CITY 8pm, BBC1

ELVIS BY THE PRESLEYS 9pm, Channel 5

Tribute to Elvis Presley, featuring candid interviews with his ex-wife Priscilla and their daughter Lisa Marie, plus photographs and home movies from the family archives. Part of Elvis Day.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S END 10.25pm, BBC1

The rogues join forces with Barbossa to rescue Jack Sparrow from the land of the dead. Fantasy adventure sequel, with Johnny Depp.

GOLD

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S,HD). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 1.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer teaches an adult education course. 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Gloria panics when Joe is deemed too aggressive.

7.05 The Two Ronnies: Old Fashioned Mystery. 8.05 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 8.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). 9.25 Porridge (S). 10.05 Open All Hours (S). 10.45 Miranda (S). 11.25 Blackadder II (S). 12.05 The Two Ronnies: Old Fashioned Mystery. 1.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2.35 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.15 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.55 Porridge (S). 4.35 Open All Hours (S). 5.15 Fawlty Towers (S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Football Gold (HD). 7.00 WWE: Afterburn (HD). 8.00 Live Big Bash Cricket (HD). Melbourne Renegades v Sydney Thunder. 11.30 Football Gold (HD). 12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30 Football Gold (HD). 1.00 Ford Monday Night Football (HD). 3.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 4.30 FL72 Review (HD). 5.30 Barclays Premier League Review (HD).

Miss Congeniality, 7.50pm

Rude Tube, 9pm

50 Ways to Kill Your ... 9pm

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge, 11pm

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.45 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed and Famous! (R,S). Celebrity lookalike clips, with Harry Hill.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 4/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/22. Homer skips church.

6.00 Miranda (S). 4/6. 6.40 Blackadder the Third (S). 5/6. Edmund tries to find a rich bride for Prince George.

6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues.

7.50 Miss Congeniality (S,HD) (2000). A terrorist threatens to bomb a Miss United States beauty pageant, resulting in an FBI agent going undercover as a contestant. Comedy, starring Sandra Bullock and Michael Caine. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). A desperate Nancy puts herself in danger, while Joe decides he must find out the truth about Freddie.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/22. Lisa enters a beauty pageant. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/22. Bart is banned from seeing a new film.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). The brothers jet off to Monte Carlo five years after achieving their dream of becoming millionaires.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/23. Raj is named one of People magazineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;30 to Watch Under 30â&#x20AC;?. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/23. Sheldon is forced to overcome his fear of driving.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1/24. Phil agrees to sell the old car. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2/24. Jayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s friends examine his approach to fatherhood.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Derby County v Leeds United (Kick-off 7.45pm). The visitors look to improve on their poor away record, as they start as underdogs for this Championship match at iPro Stadium.

9.00 Rude Tube (S,HD). 8/8. Alex Zane presents a countdown of clips featuring cats and dogs, including a feline that resembles comic-book hero Wolverine, and the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cutest dog, Jiff. Last in the series.

9.00 50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy (R,S,HD). 2/6. Irish daredevil presenter Baz Ashmawy and his 71-year-old mother Nancy travel to Morocco as they try to complete every item on their bucket list, including a hot-air balloon ride.

9.00 Monty Pythonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Bits (S). 5/5. The comedy troupeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular sketches. 9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 4/6. A guestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death plunges the hotel into chaos.

10.25 Best of Not the Nine 10.00 Britcam: Emergency 10.00 Unseen Celebrity 10.00 Wanted (S,HD) (2008). Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Clock News (S). 6/8. on Our Streets (R,S). Juice Tit Bits (S). /11. A man joins a secret Highlights of the sketch 8/10. Documentary Highlights from the society of superpowered show. providing an insight into 12th series. assassins that kills the lives of British people destined to 10.50 Celebrity Juice: people through the use commit acts of evil. Saturday Night of mobile body cameras Action adventure, Takeaway Special attached to publicstarring James McAvoy, (R,S,HD). With Ant and facing professionals. Angelina Jolie and Dec, Ashley Roberts and Morgan Freeman. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Rob Beckett. 11.35 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 22/24. Charlie takes Jake to the racetrack.

12.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.25 Release the Hounds (R,S,HD). 2.15 Viral Tap (R,S,HD). 2.50 Crazy Beaches (R,S,HD). 3.35 Educating Joey Essex: Space Cadet (R,S,HD). 4.25 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 5.10 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

12.15 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.10 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.45 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2.20 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2014 (R,S,HD). 4.10 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.50 Charmed (R,S).

10.00 Boxing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Greatest Knockouts of 2014 (HD). A look at some of the memorable stoppages from 2014. 10.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). A look at Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink top-flight goals.

11.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 4/8. Karl Pilkington watches whales in Alaska.

11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 3/6. Alan tries to join Norwichâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s social elite. 11.40 The Trip (S). 3/6. Steve and Rob visit the Lake District.

11.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues.

12.00 Trollied (R,S,HD). 12.30 Trollied (R,S,HD). 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Chickens (R,S,HD). 3.30 Chickens (R,S,HD). 4.00 Airline USA (R,S). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy defends local squatters. 1.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). A Victorian doctor faces his horrific past. 1.30 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 The Trip (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). 3.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 1.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 2.30 Sporting Heroes: Glenn McCrory Interviews Malcolm Macdonald (S,HD). 3.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 4.00 Time of Our Lives (S). 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

) * "' ! ! "' # + #( ) +)+(

MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MOST WANTED 6.05pm, BBC1

Premiere. The animals try to get back to New York by joining a circus. Animated comedy, with the voice of Ben Stiller.

BBC3

7.00 Popâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Dance Crazes (R,S). 7.25 Streetdance (S,HD) (2010). Drama, starring Nichola Burley. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.00 Shrek Forever After (S,HD) (2010). Animated comedy, with the voice of Mike Myers. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.25 The Pig Who Cried Werewolf (S,HD) 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). A familiar face returns to Albert Square. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.50 American Dad! (S,HD). Roger becomes Stanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new stepfather. 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.35 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 1.05 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.35 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride: Let It Snow! (R,S,HD). 2.35 Jenny Bede: AAA (R,S,HD). 2.55 Festivals, Sex & Suspicious Parents (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Genghis Khan (R). Profile of the Asian conqueror. 8.00 RI Lectures: Sparks Will Fly: How to Hack Your Home (HD). How smartphones can be transformed into a microscope. 9.00 Narniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lost Poet: The Secret Lives and Loves of CS Lewis (R,HD). AN Wilson goes in search of the man behind Narnia. 10.00 The 39 Steps (HD) (1935). Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spy thriller, starring Robert Donat. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.25 Kenny Rogers: Cards on the Table (R,HD). Documentary chronicling the country music singerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s career. 12.25 Country Kings at the BBC (R). 1.25 Synth Britannia (R). 2.55 Narniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lost Poet: The Secret Lives and Loves of CS Lewis (R).

TUESDAY December 30

#% ! ! ! "' ( " ' ! ! + # (+

( "' '! ' "' ! ! "' ( + # $() from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 81

TV PICKS

RITA & ME 8pm, ITV

Fifty years after Barbara Knoxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first appearance on Coronation Street, this programme looks back on her character Ritaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest moments on the cobbles.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: The Cat in the Hat (S) (2003). Comedy fantasy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.15 Film: Eight Below (S,HD) (2006). Canine adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.05 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 12.50 BBC News (S,HD). 1.00 Regional News (S,HD). 1.10 Film: Ratatouille (S,HD) (2007). Animated comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.50 Film: Monsters vs Aliens (S,HD) (2009). Animated sci-fi comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.15 Top of the Pops New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve (S). 5.20 Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD).

MAPP AND LUCIA 9pm, BBC1

Miss Lucia introduces a series of musical evenings, although Mapp notices the locals are tiring of her bossy ways and is keen to encourage a revolt. Period comedy, starring Miranda Richardson, Anna Chancellor, Steve Pemberton and Frances Barber. Last in the series.

BBC2

6.10 Sign Zone: Secrets of the Castle with Ruth, Peter and Tom (R,S). 7.10 Natural World: Empire of the Desert Ants (R,S,HD). 8.10 Film: Saboteur (S,HD) (1942). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.55 Alfred Hitchcock: Talking Pictures (R,S). 10.35 Film: Shadow of a Doubt (S,HD) (1943). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.20 The Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Asian Adventure (R,S,HD). 1.20 Film: Becoming Jane (S,HD) (2006). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.10 Coast Australia (R,S,HD). 4.00 Big Dreams Small Spaces (R,S,HD). 5.00 Wild Brazil (R,S,HD).

A FUNNY OLD YEAR 2014 9pm, ITV

JOOLSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ANNUAL HOOTENANNY 2014 11.20pm, BBC2

Jason Manford presents this end-of-year comedy review show â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a humorous celebration of the highs and lows of the past 12 months, from the brilliant to the infuriating.

ITV

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 7.00 Good Morning Britain (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 11.30 Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doing the Dishes? (R,S,HD). 12.25 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 1.10 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.20 Secret Dealers (R,S,HD). 2.20 The Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Garden (R,S,HD). 3.25 Film: Goldfinger (S,HD) (1964). James Bond adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.35 The Chase (R,S,HD).

Jools Holland presents the 22nd edition of his New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve musical extravaganza. The line-up features British singer-songwriters Ed Sheeran, Paolo Nutini, Ellie Goulding, Paloma Faith and Joss Stone, while America is represented by Ronnie Spector, Boz Scaggs, William Bell and Hayseed Dixie.

Channel 4

6.20 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7.05 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 7.30 Film: The Valley of Gwangi (S,HD) (1969). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.20 Film: The Brady Bunch Movie (S,HD) (1995). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11.25 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.25 Film: Five Children and It (S) (2004). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.15 Film: Home Alone 3 (S,HD) (1997). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.20 Film: Fantastic Mr Fox (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The fourth heat from Los Angeles. 11.10 Film: Carry On Regardless (S) (1961). Slapstick comedy, starring Sid James. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.00 Film: The Vikings (S,HD) (1958). Historical adventure, starring Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.10 Film: The Dirty Dozen (S,HD) (1967). Second World War action adventure, with Lee Marvin and Telly Savalas. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Tommy Cooper: Not Like â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

Frozen at Christmas, 8pm

The Abba Years, 12am

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 27/32. From Bodmin, Cornwall.

6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/23. Lisa cheats in an exam. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Hour-long episode. A desperate Nancy puts herself in danger.

6.05 Tommy Cooperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas Special (R,S). Festive comedy from 1974, with music by Dana and Vic Damone.

7.05 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (S,HD) (2008). The globetrotting archaeologist races against Soviet agents to find a mysterious artefact of untold

7.00 Tigers About the House â&#x20AC;&#x201C; What Happened Next (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Samson finds one of Belleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pills and tells Zak and Lisa. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Liz tells Steve he can borrow from the Roversâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; account to pay his staff.

7.30 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Pay? Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Take It Away (R,S,HD). High Court enforcement officers Paul Bohill and Steve and Ben Pinner take on squatters in a London office block. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 8/10. The first semi-final. 8.30 The Help (S,HD) (2011). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Rita & Me (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Frozen at Christmas (R,S,HD). The makers of Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Frozen, the most successful animated film of all time, talk about its creation and production, and the writing and performance of its most popular songs.

8.00 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). Action from the fifth and final heat at the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles, which featured defending champion Brian Shaw and Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Graham Hicks. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 A Funny Old Year 2014 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Alan Carrâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Year Specstacular (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Favourite Sitcoms (S). Mel Giedroyc narrates a countdown of the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 50 best-loved TV comedies, as voted for by Channel 5 viewers in an online poll.

â&#x2013;ź

Mock The week â&#x20AC;Ś 10.50pm

6.05 BBC News (S,HD). 6.20 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.35 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 6/10. With Steve Pemberton, Harry Shearer and Kate Thornton.

power. Action adventure sequel, starring Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Queen + Adam Lambert ... 11.15pm

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Mapp and Lucia (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

10.50 Mock the Week New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Special (S,HD). 14/14. Outtakes, quizzes and favourite clips. Last in the series.

10.00 Tommy Cooper: Not Like That, Like This (R,S,HD). Biopic of the hugely popular comedian, who was in love with two women and unable to choose between them. Starring David Threlfall (Shameless), with Amanda Redman and Helen McCrory.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.10 National Lottery Update (S). 10.15 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). Graham invites another line-up of A-list guests to huddle up on the sofa and help him welcome in the new year.

11.15 Queen + Adam Lambert Rock Big Ben Live (S,HD). 1/2. The band perform their greatest hits. 11.55 New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Fireworks (S,HD). The people of London welcome in 2015.

11.20 Joolsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Annual Hootenanny 2014 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.55 ITV News and Weather and New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bongs (S).

11.05 50 Funniest Moments 2014 (R,S). Famous faces help count down the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top 50 hilarious incidents.

12.10 Queen + Adam Lambert Rock Big Ben Live (S,HD). 12.30 Mrs Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boys New Year Special (R,S,HD). 1.10 John Bishop Live: Elvis Has Left the Building (R,S). The comedianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stand-up show. 2.20 Film: Old School (S,HD) (2003). Comedy, starring Luke Wilson and Will Ferrell. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.50 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 3.55 BBC News (S,HD).

1.35 Glastonbury 2014 Highlights (R,S,HD). A selection of performances from the festival. 3.40 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.10 Film: Carry On Camping (S) (1969). Comedy, starring Sid James. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 2.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

1.05 C4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 30 Greatest Comedy Shows (R,S). Celebrating some of the stationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most impressive comedy series. 2.55 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3.20 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3.50 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). From Reigate in Surrey. 4.45 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 4.55 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). 5.50 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

after

82 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

12.00 The Abba Years (R,S). The success of the Swedish group. 1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Great Scientists (R,S). 4.25 Chinese Food in Minutes (R,S). 4.30 Chinese Food in Minutes (R,S). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

The comedian is joined by Jonathan Ross, Gok Wan, Alesha Dixon, Mark Wright, James Corden, Caroline Flack and Seann Walsh, with music by Tulisa Contostavlos and Professor Green.

ITV2

Catching up with zookeeper Giles Clark and the Sumatran tiger cubs he was hand-rearing in his home in the suburbs of Queensland. Spot and Stripe are approaching their first birthdays and Giles has his hands full guiding them from adolescence into adulthood.

Sky1

FILM PICKS

TIGERS ABOUT THE HOUSE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; WHAT HAPPENED NEXT 7pm, BBC2

ALAN CARRâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEW YEAR SPECSTACULAR 9pm, Channel 4

THE HELP 8.30pm, BBC2

Premiere. A journalist in 1960s Mississippi creates controversy by giving black servants the chance to tell their stories. Drama, starring Emma Stone and Viola Davis.

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

7.05 The Two Ronnies. 8.05 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 8.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). 9.25 Porridge (S). 10.05 Open All Hours (S). 10.45 Miranda (S). 11.25 Blackadder the Third (S). 12.05 The Two Ronnies. 1.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2.45 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). 4.05 Porridge (S). 4.45 Open All Hours (S). 5.20 Fawlty Towers (S).

6.00 Football Gold (HD). 7.00 WWE Vintage (HD). 8.00 WWE From the Vault (HD). 8.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 9.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 9.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 10.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 10.30 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 11.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 12.00 Premier League Years (S).

An Idiot Abroad 2, 9pm

Blackadder the Third, 6.40pm

Premier League Years, 8pm

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6/24. Gloria hires a nanny. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/25. The family visits a scary theme park.

6.05 Miranda (S). 5/6. 6.40 Blackadder the Third (S). 4/6. Prince George hires two actors to improve his speech-making.

6.00 Premier League Years (S,HD). Memorable moments from the 2011/12 season.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 19/24. 7.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). The Roscoes pray for a miracle.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/25. Sideshow Bob runs for office. 7.30 The Simpsons (S). 1/21. Angry dolphins attack Springfield.

7.15 Only Fools and Horses (S). Trotters Independent Traders embarks on a booze cruise to France under new managing director Rodney.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 22/24. Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stag party leads to a problem. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24. Stuart and Raj host a Halloween party.

8.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 3/3. Another line up of famous football fans single out their favourite funny moments from the world of the beautiful game.

6.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 6.25 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed at Christmas! (R,S). 6.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.10 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a Celeb: Stars of Oz (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Xtra Factor Winnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story 2014 (R,S). 9.00 The X Factor Class of 2014 (R,S). 10.05 Film: Back to the Future (S,HD) (1985). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.20 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.45 Film: Nanny McPhee (S,HD) (2005). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 6.25 Charmed (R,S). 7.10 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 7.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 8.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 8.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Bad(ish) Robots (R,S,HD). 9.35 Troy (R,S,HD). 10.05 Film: Marmaduke (S,HD) (2010). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.55 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 3.30 Bad(ish) Robots (S,HD). 4.00 Troy (S,HD). 4.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Back to the Future III, 6.40pm

The Inbetweeners, 9.30pm

6.40 Back to the Future Part III (S,HD) (1990). Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/24.

9.00 GoldenEye (S,HD) (1995). 9.00 The Big Bang Theory James Bond goes in pursuit (R,S,HD). 11/24. The guys of a satellite weapon make fun of Pennyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that has fallen into the boyfriend Zack. hands of a mysterious 9.30 The Inbetweeners criminal mastermind. Spy (R,S). 4/6. The friends go adventure, with Pierce clubbing in London. Brosnan, Sean Bean and Famke Janssen. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 7.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Flash (R,S,HD). 9.00 Exodus: Gods & Kings â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Behind the Scenes (R). 9.30 Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Special (R,S,HD). 10.00 Got to Dance: A Celebration. 11.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD). 3.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 4.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 5/8. Karl Pilkington travels to Africa to spend time with rare mountain gorillas. Along the way he prepares a meal for a tribal king and encounters a rhinoceros.

8.00 Premier League Years (S). Classic games, infamous blunders and moments of skill from the 2012/13 season.

9.00 Fawlty Towers (S). 6/6. A party of German guests comes to stay. 9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 6/6. Manuelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pet rat escapes.

10.25 Best of Not the Nine 10.00 Karl Pilkington: The 10.00 The Inbetweeners Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Clock News (S). 8/8. Moaning of Life (R,S). 1/6. Carli organises Highlights of the sketch (R,S,HD). 1/5. Karl a fashion show. show, originally aired in Pilkington travels the 10.35 The Inbetweeners the 1980s. world to answer some of (R,S). 3/6. A trip to a lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest questions. theme park does not go 10.55 A League of Their Own to plan. (R,S,HD). 1/12. With Frank Lampard, Kevin Bridges and Judy Murray. 11.05 The Inbetweeners 11.55 New Year Fireworks 11.40 Celebrity Juice (R,S). 1/6. The gang goes Live (S). The annual (R,S,HD). Comedy quiz, on a field trip to Swanage. display in central hosted by Keith Lemon. London. 11.40 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R,S). A countdown of the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highlights.

11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 4/6. Alan prepares for a James Bond film marathon. 11.40 The Trip (S). 4/6. Steve and Rob visit Hipping Hall.

12.25 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 1.55 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 3.25 Release the Hounds (R,S,HD). 4.10 Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R). 4.55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy tries to prove himself at school. 1.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). A trio become stuck in a lift. 1.30 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 The Trip (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). 3.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

12.45 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.45 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.15 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 3.35 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). 4.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.50 Charmed (R,S).

12.15 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 1.15 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2.05 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 Airline USA (R,S). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

) * "' ! ! "' # + #( ) +)+(

10.00 Premier League Years (S,HD). Classic games, infamous blunders and moments of skill from the 2013/14 season â&#x20AC;&#x201C; all set to a specially selected soundtrack from the time.

FANTASTIC MR FOX 4.20pm, Channel 4

A fox gives up stealing chickens in favour of family life, but a new challenge is too tempting. Stop-motion animated adventure, with the voices of George Clooney.

BBC3

7.00 Puss in Boots (S,HD) (2011). Animated comedy spin-off, with the voice of Antonio Banderas. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 8.20 Puss in Boots: The Three Diablos (S,HD) 8.30 Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers (R,S,HD). The animated duo falls foul of a villainous penguin. 9.00 FA Cupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 50 Greatest Moments (S,HD). Memorable clips from the prestigious domestic football competition. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). 12.10 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 Family Guy (R,S). 1.15 Family Guy (R,S). 1.35 Family Guy (R,S). 2.00 Sexy Beasts (R,S,HD). 2.30 Sexy Beasts (R,S,HD). 3.00 Festivals, Sex & Suspicious Parents (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Danny Boy: The Ballad That Bewitched the World (R,HD). The appeal of the song. 8.00 RI Lectures: Sparks Will Fly: How to Hack Your Home (HD). How robotic and motor-driven appliances work. 9.00 The Joy of Abba (R). The bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heyday of the 1970s and early 80s. 10.00 Abba at the BBC (R). A collection of memorable TV appearances. 11.00 Kind Hearts and Coronets (HD) (1949). The penniless grandson of a duke plots to eliminate the eight relatives standing between him and a vast inheritance. Ealing black comedy, starring Alec Guinness in eight roles. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.45 Rich Hallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s California Stars (R,HD). 2.15 The Joy of Abba (R). 3.15 The Carpenters at the BBC (R).

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE December

12.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 1.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 1.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 2.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 2.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 3.00 Premier League Legends (S,HD). 3.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 4.00 Time of Our Lives (S). 5.00 Football Gold (HD).

#% ! ! ! "' ( " ' ! ! + # (+

( "' '! ' "' ! ! "' ( + # $() from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 83

TV PICKS

ROALD DAHLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ESIO TROT 6.30pm, BBC1

MATCH OF THE DAY 10.35pm, BBC1

Dustin Hoffman and Judi Dench star in this adaptation of Roald Dahlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story about a retired bachelor, who hits upon a cunning plan to romance his neighbour.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: Bee Movie (S,HD) (2007). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.25 Film: Over the Hedge (S,HD) (2006). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.40 Life Story: The Full Circle (S,HD). 12.45 The Archbishop of Canterburyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Year Message (S,HD). 12.50 BBC News (S,HD). 1.00 Regional News (S). 1.10 The Boy in the Dress (R,S,HD). 2.10 Film: Mary Poppins (S,HD) (1964). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.25 Film: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (S,HD) (2011). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Highlights of the latest Premier League matches, including Tottenham Hotspur v Chelsea and Southampton v Arsenal. Plus Stoke City v Manchester United, Aston Villa v Crystal Palace, Hull City v Everton, Liverpool v Leicester City, Manchester City v Sunderland, Newcastle United v Burnley, QPR v Swansea City and West Ham United v West Brom.

BBC2

6.15 Sign Zone: The Great Interior Design Challenge (R,S). 7.15 Sign Zone: Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 7.45 Alec Guinness: Talking Pictures (R,S). 8.30 Film: The Lavender Hill Mob (S,HD) (1951). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.50 Film: A Hard Dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Night (S,HD) (1964). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.15 New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Concert Live from Vienna (S,HD). 12.50 Snow Wolf Family and Me (R,S,HD). 2.50 Film: Galaxy Quest (S,HD) (1999). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.25 The Archbishop of Canterburyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Year Message (R,S,HD). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.30 Film: Force 10 from Navarone (S,HD) (1978). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

MIRANDA 8pm, BBC1

The very last episode of the hit sitcom sees the shopkeeper making one final attempt to accept herself and find contentment. Miranda Hart stars, with Patricia Hodge and Tom Ellis.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.20 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 11.20 Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doing the Dishes? (R,S,HD). 12.25 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S). With Nadia Sawalha and Jane Cox. 1.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.35 Secret Dealers (S,HD). 2.35 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). 3.05 Film: Thunderball (S,HD) (1965). James Bond spy adventure, starring Sean Connery. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.45 Rita & Me (R,S,HD).

TIGERS ABOUT THE HOUSE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; WHAT HAPPENED NEXT 7.30pm, BBC2

The Clarks see the harsh reality of poaching in Indonesia when they visit tigers that were caught in snares, prompting Giles to concoct an ambitious plan to save the injured big cats in the wild. Back in Australia, Spot faces an operation that may end with him losing all vision.

Channel 4

6.15 Film: The Three Worlds of Gulliver (S,HD) (1960). Fantasy adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 7.55 Film: The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (S,HD) (1958). Fantasy adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.45 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.40 The Simpsons (R,S). 11.10 Film: The Last Mimzy (S,HD) (2007). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fantasy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.00 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). From Cheltenham and Musselburgh. 3.30 Guy Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Passion for Life (R,S). 4.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD). 4.10 Film: The Wizard of Oz (S,HD) (1939). Musical fantasy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.45 Access (R). Showbiz news and gossip. 10.00 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The fifth heat from Los Angeles. 11.00 Film: The Dam Busters (S,HD) (1954). Fact-based Second World War drama, starring Michael Redgrave. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.25 Film: The Italian Job (S,HD) (1969). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.30 Film: Ben-Hur (S) (1959). Oscar-winning epic, starring Charlton Heston and Stephen Boyd. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

â&#x2013;ź

Rude Tube: Welcome to 2015, 10.30pm

6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.10 Sister Act (S,HD) (1992). Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Miranda (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above. 8.30 EastEnders (S,HD). After the drama of Christmas, the good folk of Walford turn their attention to the new year â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and things get off to an explosive start.

8.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 9/10. The second semi-final of the quiz.

8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 2/8. See Choices Above.

9.35 Mrs Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boys (S,HD). Second festive episode. Cathy is feeling broody.

9.00 Quartet (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. Three former opera singersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; plans for a fundraising concert for their retirement home are disrupted by a new arrival. Comedy drama, with Maggie Smith and Billy Connolly. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

9.00 The Dark Knight (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 New Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! At Christmas (R,S,HD). Funny clips. 7.30 Emmerdale (S,HD). Belle persuades Lachlan to try one of the pills, but he struggles with the effects.

â&#x2013;ź

New Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed â&#x20AC;Ś 7pm

7.30 Tigers About the House â&#x20AC;&#x201C; What Happened Next (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

10.10 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Match of the Day (S,HD). See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

10 11

University Challenge, 8.30pm

6.05 BBC News (S,HD). 6.20 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 Roald Dahlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Esio Trot (S,HD). See Choices Above..

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Match Of The Day, 10.35pm

â&#x2013;ź

after

12.10 Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga: Cheek to Cheek Live! (R,S,HD). The duo take to the stage in New York. 1.05 Film: Road Trip (S,HD) (2000). Comedy, starring Breckin Meyer. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.35 Skiing Weatherview (S). 2.40 BBC News (S,HD).

10.30 Julie Walters: A Life on Screen (R,S,HD). The actress chats about her career, from her beginnings in theatre through to her successes in TV and film. With contributions by Victoria Wood, Celia Imrie and Hugh Bonneville.

11.30 Mock the Week New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Special (R,S,HD). 14/14. Out-takes, quizzes and favourite clips. Last in the series.

11.55 ITV News and Weather (S).

12.05 Film: Frenzy (S,HD) (1972). Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thriller, starring Jon Finch. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.55 Film: Stick It (S) (2006). Sporting comedy, starring Missy Peregrym and Jeff Bridges. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.00 The Cube (R,S,HD). A police officer takes part. 12.50 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

84 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

Hercules The Human Bear, 7.30pm

7.30 Hercules the Human Bear (R,S,HD). The story of Andy and Maggie Robinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 25-year friendship with a grizzly bear they bought as a cub from an Aviemore zoo. 8.00 Snow White & the Huntsman (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. A princess joins forces with the warrior sent to kill her to overthrow an evil queen. Fantasy adventure, starring Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron. Edited for violence. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.30 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (S,HD). Action from the Grand Final at the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles, which featured the 12 qualifiers from the five heats. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News Update. 9.35 White Dee: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s All the Fuss About? (S). Dee Kelly reveals how appearing on Benefits Street changed her life, leading to new-found fame and featuring public appearances, photoshoots, newspaper interviews and politics.

10.30 Rude Tube Welcome to 2015 (S). See Choices Above.

10.35 Celeb Big Brother: The Good, the Bad and the Unforgettable (S). Emma Willis narrates a selection of memorable moments from the reality show, including George Galloway pretending to be a cat and Lionel Blair dressed in bondage gear.

12.35 Film: The Godfather (S,HD) (1972). Gangster drama, starring Marlon Brando and Al Pacino. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.30 Trans World Sport (S,HD). Including a profile of wheelchair rugby in Australia. 4.30 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.25 Hughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (R,S,HD). 5.40 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD).

12.35 Jim Davidson: At Least Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Not Boring (R,S,HD). The comedian talks about his life and career. 1.35 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The fifth heat from Los Angeles. 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

Sharon amazes the others with her high IQ, and Dorien, under pressure to find a heroine for her next book, decides to push her toward a surprising new career. Meanwhile, Garth is feeling despondent.

ITV2 6.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! Full Throttle (R,S). 6.50 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a Celeb: Epic Trials (R,S,HD). 7.50 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 8.20 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 8.50 Film: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (S,HD) (2004). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.40 Film: Back to the Future Part III (S,HD) (1990). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 Film: The Lost World: Jurassic Park (S,HD) (1997). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.25 Film: Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

RUDE TUBE WELCOME TO 2015 10.30pm, Channel 4

Alex Zane explores the 100 most popular internet videos of the past 12 months in a two-hour special of the show, and also interviews some the people who created them. The humorous clips featured include the incredible spider-dog prank and a raving blast from the past.

E4 6.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 6.20 Charmed (R,S). 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 8.30 Bad(ish) Robots (R,S,HD). 9.00 Troy (R,S,HD). 9.35 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 10.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.30 Film: Tooth Fairy (S,HD) (2010). Family comedy, starring Dwayne Johnson. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

Die Another Day, 6.20pm

Frozen at Christmas, 7pm

6.20 Die Another Day (S,HD) (2002). James Bond spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/24.

Sky1

GOLD

Conquest of the Skies, 7pm

Monty Python: The ... 10pm

Live Football Special, 12.30pm

6.00 Miranda (S). 6/6. 6.40 Blackadder the Third (S). 6/6. The Duke of Wellington challenges the prince to a duel.

8.00 Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death (R,S,HD). Quirky crime drama, starring Ashley Jensen, based on the novels of MC Beaton. While settling into her new life in the Cotswolds, PR whizz Agatha becomes a suspect in a murder case.

11.25 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1/6. The gang goes on a field trip to Swanage.

12.40 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). With Paloma Faith and Ronan Keating. 1.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Charlie takes Jake to the racetrack. 1.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). The handyman wins Chloeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s affections. 2.15 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 The IT Crowd (R,S). 12.35 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 1.30 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 2.20 Made in Chelsea: End of Season Party (R,S,HD). 3.15 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 3.45 The IT Crowd (R,S). 4.10 Charmed (R,S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Football Gold (HD). 7.00 WWE: Experience (HD). 8.00 WWE From the Vault (S,HD). 8.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 9.00 The Sky Sports Years. 10.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 11.30 The Sky Sports Years. 12.30 Live Football Special (HD). 3.15 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 3.45 Boxing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Greatest Knockouts of 2014 (HD). 4.15 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 4.45 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 5.15 Live SPFL Football (HD).

8.00 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (S,HD) (1992). A boy ends up stranded in the Big Apple â&#x20AC;&#x201C; where he bumps into two familiar burglars. Comedy sequel, starring Macaulay Culkin. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.10 Unseen Celebrity Juice Tit Bits (R,S). 11.55 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 1/11. With Pixie Lott and Kian Egan.

Premiere. Batman is pushed to breaking point as the Joker plunges Gotham City into chaos. Comic-book thriller sequel, with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger.

7.05 The Two Ronnies (S). 8.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 8.40 Only Fools and Horses (S). 9.20 Porridge (S). 10.00 Open All Hours (S). 10.40 Miranda (S). 11.20 Blackadder the Third (S). 11.55 The Two Ronnies (S). 12.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2.30 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.10 Only Fools and Horses (S). 3.50 Porridge (S). 4.30 Open All Hours (S). 5.10 Fawlty Towers (S).

7.00 David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Conquest of the Skies (S,HD). 1/3. New series. The veteran naturalist examines creatures capable of flight.

10.25 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5/23. Sheldon is forced to overcome his fear of driving. 10.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/23. Sheldon acquires a girlfriend.

THE DARK KNIGHT 9pm, ITV

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 8.00 Got to Dance: A Celebration (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 10.00 Futurama: Welcome to the World of Tomorrow (R,S). 10.10 The Drop Special (R). 10.25 David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Flying Monsters (R,S). 12.00 Making David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Flying Monsters (R,S,HD). 1.00 David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Galapagos (R,S,HD). 4.00 The Bachelor King (R,S,HD). 5.30 David Attenboroughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Natural History Museum Alive (R,S,HD).

7.00 Frozen at Christmas (R,S,HD). The makers of Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Frozen talk about its creation and production.

9.00 Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (S,HD) (2004). The journalistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new romance looks set to be short-lived when she ends up serving time in a Thai prison. Comedy sequel, starring Renee Zellweger. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

FILM PICKS

BIRDS OF A FEATHER 8.30pm, ITV

12.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). Officers face a drug addict in Milton Keynes. 1.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). Police officers combat vehicle crime. 2.05 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Night Cops (R,S,HD). 4.00 Airline USA (R,S). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD).

7.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Del and Rodney have only two weeks to find the cash they need to pay the Inland Revenue, or face losing their flat. 8.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Game of the Day (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top Premier League match.

9.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 1/4. Geraldine plays Cupid in her efforts to bring Alice and Hugo together, and at the same time receives an astonishing proposal. Christmas edition from 1997. 10.00 Monty Python: The 10.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice Meaning of Live (S). (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee 1/2. Documentary going presents extended behind the scenes on the highlights from the comedy teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reunion Premier League, concert, featuring allowing viewers to archive footage from access the latest round of the groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s previous top-flight fixtures, 1980 show at the including Liverpool v Hollywood Bowl. Leicester City. 11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 5/6. Alan is dreading a visit from the Inland Revenue. 11.40 The Trip (S). 5/6. Steve and Rob visit the Yorke Arms.

11.30 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League.

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy defends himself in court. 1.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). The tragic tale of a ballroom dancer. 1.30 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 The Trip (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). 3.30 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (S). 4.00 Close

1.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). 2.30 Barclays Premier League World (HD). 3.00 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 3.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 4.00 Time of Our Lives (S). 5.00 Football Gold (HD). 5.15 Football Gold (HD). 5.30 Football Gold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold (HD).

) * "' ! ! "' # + #( ) +)+(

THE ITALIAN JOB 1.25pm, Channel 5

A crook recruits a gang to steal $4million in gold bullion and make a quick getaway from central Turin. Crime comedy, starring Michael Caine and Noel Coward.

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth Be with You (R,S). 7.30 Top Gear India Special (R,S,HD). Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May embark on a trade mission to India. 9.00 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (S,HD) (2004). Newsroom comedy, starring Will Ferrell. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Hourlong episode. The new year gets off to an explosive start. 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.55 Family Guy (R,S). 12.15 Family Guy (R,S). 12.40 Family Guy (R,S). 1.00 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 1.30 Sexy Beasts (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sexy Beasts (R,S,HD). 2.30 Sexy Beasts (R,S,HD). 3.00 Sexy Beasts (R,S,HD). 3.30 Cuckoo Christmas Special (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Concert from Vienna 2015. Highlights of the Vienna Philharmonicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s traditional New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day performance from the Golden Concert Hall of the Musikverein in Vienna. 9.00 Wallander Faceless Killers. Mrs Lovgrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brother is called in for questioning. 9.55 Wallander Faceless Killers. Kurt finally gets a breakthrough in the case. 10.45 The Clash: New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day â&#x20AC;&#x2122;77 (HD). Footage of the Clash in concert in 1977. 11.45 London Songs at the BBC (R). A collection of performances from the BBC archives. 12.45 Nat King Cole: Afraid of the Dark (R,HD). 2.15 Sounds of the Eighties (R). 2.45 The Clash: New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day â&#x20AC;&#x2122;77 (R,HD).

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY January 1

#% ! ! ! "' ( " ' ! ! + # (+

( "' '! ' "' ! ! "' ( + # $() from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 85

TV PICKS

THE MUSKETEERS 9pm, BBC1

FOOD & DRINK 8.30pm, BBC2

New series. Chef Tom Kerridge takes over as host from Michel Roux Jr on the culinary show, and is joined on the first edition by Si King and Dave Myers. Tom challenges the Hairy Bikers to come up with a speedy meal to rival his quick sausage and bean casserole, while drinks expert Joe Wadsack surprises them all with his choice of wine.

As the swashbuckling adventure returns, the Musketeers are sent to rescue Rochefort (Marc Warren), the Cardinalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s man in Madrid - but it appears he cannot be trusted.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.35 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 9.10 Film: The Ant Bully (S) (2006). Animated adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.30 Film: Flubber (S,HD) (1997). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s comedy remake. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: The Sound of Music (S,HD) (1965). Rodgers and Hammerstein musical. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.30 Film: Up (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

BBC2

6.20 Sign Zone: The Great Interior Design Challenge (R,S,HD). 7.20 Sign Zone: Close Calls: On Camera (R,S,HD). 7.50 Meerkats: Secrets of an Animal Superstar â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Natural World (R,S,HD). 8.50 Film: Tom Thumb (S) (1958). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 10.20 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (R,S,HD). 11.20 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.20 The Hairy Bikersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Asian Adventure (R,S,HD). 1.20 John Wayne: Talking Pictures (R,S). 2.05 Film: How the West Was Won (S,HD) (1962). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.30 Big Dreams Small Spaces (R,S,HD). 5.30 Flog It! (R,S,HD).

ROOM 101 8.30pm, BBC1

New series. Frank Skinner welcomes Strictly Come Dancing head judge Len Goodman, actress and impressionist Ronni Ancona and quick-witted comic Tim Vine to discuss their pet hates.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 8.25 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.25 Judge Rinder (R,S,HD). 11.25 Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doing the Dishes? (R,S,HD). 12.25 All Star Family Fortunes (R). Actress Jennifer Ellison and former boxer Joe Calzaghe take part. 1.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.35 Regional News (S). 1.40 Secret Dealers (S,HD). 2.40 Film: You Only Live Twice (S,HD) (1967). James Bond spy thriller, starring Sean Connery. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 The Chase (R,S,HD).

JAMIE AND JIMMYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FRIDAY NIGHT FEAST 8pm, Channel 4

New series. Mr Oliver and Mr Doherty return to their pop-up cafe on Southend Pier, where Jamie cooks up indulgent recipes with the help of his celebrity friends, and Jimmy goes off creating a whole range of foods with his DIY builds. In the first edition, Hollywood actress Kate Hudson cooks up a Goan curry.

Channel 4

6.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 6.30 Film: Treasure Island (S) (1972). Pirate adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 8.10 Film: Arctic Tale (S,HD) (2007). Documentary on Arctic wildlife. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.50 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.25 Film: Meet Dave (S,HD) (2008). Sci-fi comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.10 Film: Black Knight (S,HD) (2001). Comedy adventure. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.10 Film: Alvin and the Chipmunks (S,HD) (2007). Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s comedy. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). 11.10 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). 12.05 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.10 Film: Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (S,HD) (1961). Sci-fi adventure, starring Walter Pidgeon. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.20 Film: Fantastic Voyage (S,HD) (1966). Sci-fi adventure, starring Raquel Welch. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.15 Film: Columbo Cries Wolf (S) (1990). Detective drama, starring Peter Falk. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Food & Drink, 8.30pm

The Martin Lewis Money â&#x20AC;Ś 8pm

Jamie And Jimmyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Friday â&#x20AC;Ś 8pm

Ice Road Truckers, 8pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional Programme; Weather.

6.30 Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weirdest Events (R,S,HD). 3/3. Bears turning to a life of crime and fish attacking birds on land. Last in the series.

6.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Comical clips, narrated by Harry Hill. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 23/25. Homer is hired to climb a mountain. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S). The Roscoes pray for a miracle.

6.10 Columbo Goes to College (S) (1991). Detective drama, starring Peter Falk. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 7/10. With Jimmy McKenna, Gillian Joseph and Dallas Campbell. 7.30 A Question of Sport: FA Cup Special (S,HD). An FA Cupthemed edition of the quiz.

7.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 10/10. The final of the quiz. Last in the series.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). A conflicted Finn arrives at his long-lost motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Eva and David go to the Dog & Gun in search of Kylie.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Cuckoo Christmas Special, 11.05pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). The neighbours look ahead to another eventful 12 months. 8.30 Room 101 (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Mastermind (S,HD). 19/31. Specialist subjects include U2 and the films of Stanley Kubrick. 8.30 Food & Drink (S,HD). 1/10. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show (S,HD). 4/9. The first of Martin Lewis and Saira Khanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s money roadshows. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Lukeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plans for the evening are derailed when Tyrone arrives home early.

8.00 Jamie and Jimmyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Friday Night Feast (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 1/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Big Allotment Challenge (S,HD). 1/6. New series. Fern Britton presents the return of horticultural contest, which this time pits nine gardeners against one another as they attempt to impress the judges.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 1/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Big Fat Anniversary Quiz (S,HD). Jimmy Carr tests Russell Brand, Noel Fielding, Jonathan Ross, Jack Whitehall, Warwick Davis and Claudia Winkleman on their knowledge of the events of the past 10 years.

9.00 Forrest Gump (S,HD) (1994). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 QI (S,HD). 13/18. With Jeremy Clarkson, Sandi Toksvig and Danny Baker. 10.30 Rik Mayall: Lord of Misrule (R,S,HD). Simon Callow narrates a celebration of the comedian and actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life and work, with contributions by Michael Palin, Simon Pegg, Lenny Henry, Ben Elton and Tim McInnerny.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 Darcy Oake: Edge of Reality (R,S,HD). The daredevil magician performs at Blackpoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Opera House.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Live at the Apollo (S,HD). 6/6. Comedy sets by Danny Bhoy, Miles Jupp and Lee Nelson. Last in the series.

11.05 Cuckoo Christmas Special (S,HD). Lorna is full of yuletide spirit. 11.40 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Omnibus. Ronnie realises Dot and Charlie have been manipulated.

11.30 Mock the Week Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 13/14. A festive edition featuring outtakes and yuletide reminiscences.

11.10 The Chase (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Bradley Walsh.

11.05 The Last Leg of the Year (S). Offbeat review of 2014, hosted by Adam Hills.

11.50 Access (R). Showbiz news and gossip.

2.05 Weather for the Week Ahead (S). 2.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.05 Film: Rope (S,HD) (1948). Hitchcock thriller, with Farley Granger and John Dall. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.20 Film: Sign Zone: Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (S) (2011). Comedy drama, with Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service.

12.10 Film: The Godfather: Part II (S,HD) (1974). Oscar-winning gangster sequel, starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.40 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). A young couple find the cause of their widening waistlines. Last in the series. 4.35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.30 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.40 Small Animal Hospital (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strongest Man 2014 (R,S,HD). The Grand Final from Los Angeles. Last in the series. 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A luxury flat in Hove. 4.45 House Doctor (R,S). Compilation of makeover tips. 5.10 House Doctor (R,S). Highlights of the series. 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

â&#x2013;ź

after

86 WEEKEND

from Friday, December 19, 2014

New series. Joyce is told to make staff cuts, the Garveys worry Madge is being stalked, and Jacqueline turns up with a male companion, having arranged a wife swap with Donald. Leslie Jordan guest stars.

ITV2 6.00 Holiday Airport: Palma (R). 6.55 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.55 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent: All-Time Heroes (R,S,HD). 8.50 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent: Hairiest Moments (R,S,HD). 9.50 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got More Talent: Surprise Stars (R,S,HD). 10.50 Film: Space Jam (S,HD) (1996). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 12.35 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 5.00 Film: Beethoven (S,HD) (1991). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS 8pm, Channel 5

Alex Debogorski races to complete one of Polarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most critical hauls of the season as he tries to make up for the time he lost dealing with a dashboard fire, while Lisa Kelly is forced to stop in the middle of a frozen lake when she loses sight of the road. Darrell Wardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s patience with Polar reaches its limit.

E4 6.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 6.20 Charmed (R,S). 8.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 9.00 Lost and Found (R,S,HD). 9.35 Famous Fred (R,S). 10.00 The Bear (R,S). 10.35 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 11.00 Frozen at Christmas (R,S,HD). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 3.30 Bad(ish) Robots (S,HD). 4.00 Troy (S,HD). 4.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

BENIDORM 9pm, ITV

FORREST GUMP 9pm, Channel 5

A slow-witted man has a series of bizarre adventures but the love of his life eludes him. Robert Zemeckisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Oscarwinning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks.

GOLD

6.00 The Real A&E (R,S,HD). 7.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). 8.00 Middle Earth: There and Back Again (R). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 11.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 3.00 Birdman Special (R). 3.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.15 One Foot in the Grave (S). 8.25 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 11.05 Only Fools and Horses (S). 11.45 Porridge (S). 12.25 Open All Hours (S). 1.05 Miranda (S). 1.45 Blackadder the Third (S). 2.25 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2003. The Trotters desperately need money. 4.05 One Foot in the Grave (S). 5.05 The Vicar of Dibley (S).

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Football Gold (HD). 7.00 WWE: Raw (HD). 9.00 Soccer Extra (HD). 11.00 SNF â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Match Choice (HD). 12.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 1.00 Soccer Extra (HD). 3.00 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 3.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). 4.00 Barclays Premier League Legends (S,HD). 4.30 Soccer Extra (HD).

The Bourne Identity, 9pm

The Big Bang ... 7.30pm

Show Me Your Garden, 8pm

The Vicar of Dibley, 6pm

Live Test Cricket, 8.30pm

6.50 Miss Congeniality (S,HD) (2000). Comedy, starring Sandra Bullock. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/24.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 8/24. Phil breaks into Jayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s secret room. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 6/25. Halloween capers.

6.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 2/4. 6.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3/4. Geraldine shoots to stardom.

6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). A discussion on key fantasy football issues.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 The Big Bang Theory: It All Started with a Big Bang (R,S,HD). Rick Edwards looks back at memorable scenes.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. Bart develops a crush on his babysitter. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9/22. Homer gets too drunk on Christmas Eve.

7.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4/4. Alice shocks Geraldine with a monumental prewedding revelation.

7.30 Test Cricket (HD). South Africa v West Indies. Highlights of the opening day of the Third Test from Newlands in Cape Town.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3/24. Sheldon hires an attractive female assistant. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 4/24. Howard returns from space.

8.00 Show Me Your Garden (S,HD). 1/6. New series. Alison Steadman narrates this challenge in which enthusiasts allow fellow hopefuls to judge their gardens. The first edition is in London.

8.00 Fawlty Towers (S). 4/6. Hotel inspectors throw Basil into a panic. 8.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 5/6. Basil holds a gourmet night.

9.00 Transporter 3 (S) (2008). 9.00 Karl Pilkington: The 9.00 The Bourne Identity Underworld courier (S,HD) (2002). An amnesiac Moaning of Life Frank Martin transports man pulled from the sea by (R,S,HD). 1/5. Karl the kidnapped daughter the crew of a fishing boat Pilkington answers of a crooked is targeted by assassins as important life questions, government minister he tries to discover who beginning with the across Europe. Action he is. Thriller, starring relevance of marriage thriller sequel, with Matt Damon and Franka today, exploring arranged Jason Statham and Potente. Including FYI marriages in India and Natalya Rudakova. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? ceremonies in Las Vegas.

9.20 Fawlty Towers (S). 3/6. An American comes to stay.

8.30 Live Test Cricket (HD). New Zealand v Sri Lanka. Coverage of the opening stages of the first day of the Second Test from the Basin Reserve in Wellington, where the two-match series continues.

10.00 Monty Python: The 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Meaning of Live (S). (R,S,HD). 5/8. Karl 2/2. Documentary going Pilkington travels to behind the scenes on the Africa to spend time comedy teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reunion with rare mountain concert, featuring gorillas. Along the way archive footage from he prepares a meal for a the groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s previous tribal king and 1980 show at the encounters a rhinoceros. Hollywood Bowl. 11.20 Hostage (S,HD) (2005). Thriller, starring Bruce Willis. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/23. 11.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/23.

11.00 Britcam: Emergency on Our Streets (R,S). 8/10. An insight into the lives of British people.

11.00 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 6/6. Lynn invites Alan to her baptism. 11.40 The Trip (S). 6/6. The duo visit the Angel Inn at Hetton in North Yorkshire.

1.35 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Evelynâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new man takes Alan and Charlie to Las Vegas. 2.05 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Alan and Charlie take Jake shopping. 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

12.00 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 1.10 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.30 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 3.05 The IT Crowd (R,S). 3.30 Virtually Famous (R,S,HD). 4.15 Charmed (R,S). 4.55 Charmed (R,S). The sisters protect a baby.

12.00 Film: King Arthur (S) (2004). Historical adventure, starring Clive Owen. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.25 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.15 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 4.05 Airline USA (R,S). 4.30 Airline USA (R,S). 5.00 Stargate Atlantis (R,S,HD). McKayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister is kidnapped by Henry Wallace.

12.20 Saxondale (S). Tommy fears he has lost Magz. 1.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). A witch-hunter meets his match. 1.30 Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Alan Partridge (S). 2.00 The Trip (S). 2.30 Saxondale (S). 3.00 Dr Terribleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House of Horrible (S). 3.30 Nighty Night (S). 4.00 Close

) * "' ! ! "' # + #( ) +)+(

UP 4.30pm, BBC1

An old man uses balloons to fly his house to South America, but finds a boy scout has stowed away. Animated adventure, with the voice of Ed Asner.

BBC3

7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride: Christmas in Wonderland (R,S). A wedding in the middle of New Yorkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Central Park. 8.00 StreetDance 2 (S,HD) (2012). Drama, starring Falk Hentschel. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.20 Popâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest Dance Crazes (R,S). 9.30 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). The neighbours look ahead to another eventful year. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.50 Family Guy (R,S). 12.15 Family Guy (R,S). 12.35 FA Cupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 50 Greatest Moments (R,S,HD). 2.35 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 3.05 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S,HD). 3.35 Vodka Diaries (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Nigel Kennedy at the Proms (R,HD). Violinist Nigel Kennedy performs Vivaldiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Four Seasons at Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Royal Albert Hall, accompanied by the Palestine Strings and his own Orchestra for Life. 8.00 Nigel Kennedy at the BBC (HD). A compilation of performances. 9.00 Top of the Pops: The Story of 1980. Exploring the music showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s evolution. 10.00 Top of the Pops: 1980 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Big Hits (HD). Performances from the show during 1980. 11.00 Coldplay in Concert 2014 (HD). At the BBCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Radio Theatre. 12.00 Singer-Songwriters at the BBC (R). 1.00 Top of the Pops: The Story of 1980 (R). 2.00 Top of the Pops: 1980 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Big Hits (R,HD). 3.00 Coldplay in Concert 2014 (R,HD).

FRIDAY January 2

11.30 Live Test Cricket (HD). Australia v India.

#% ! ! ! "' ( " ' ! ! + # (+

( "' '! ' "' ! ! "' ( + # $() from Friday, December 19, 2014

WEEKEND 87