The Weekend 24 January 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

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YOUR GUIDE TO THE SPLAPSTICK FESTIVAL

FROM FRIDAY, JA JJAnuARY Anu nuARY ARY 24, 2014 ISSu ISS ISSuE uE 88

NATURAL APPROACH TO SKINCARE

JOHN NEwMAN’S OLD SOUL SOUND

MAKE BRUNEL’S CHOCOLATE CAKE

Over 1000 different adult courses, starting throughout the year. Visit www.cityofbristol.ac.uk/learning or call 0117 312 5000.

0117 312 5000

www.cityofbristol.ac.uk/learning

enquiries@cityofbristol.ac.uk

WHICH COURSE WILL YOU CHOOSE? Over 1000 different adult courses available.

LEARNING FOR WORK

LEARNING FOR A CAREER

If you’ve never worked or are struggling to find a

If you know where you’re going, but need a bit of

give you the skills that employers are looking for.

A levels or access to higher education courses

job, we can help you get onto a course which will You can boost your literacy or numeracy skills, or study for GCSEs. If practical skills are more

your thing, there are 100s of vocational courses on offer too.

help to get there, our professional qualifications, are just what you need. You’ll find yourself

working with like-minded people of all ages and will receive fantastic support from dedicated

tutors – many of whom have industry experience.

Popular courses include:

• Job Interview Techniques

• Interior Design

• Functional Skills, Literacy & Numeracy

• Hairdressing

• GCSE English & Maths

• Teaching

• English for Speakers of Other Languages (ESOL)

• Fitness Instructing

• Construction Skills

• Childcare

Visit our website to find out more about learning for life and the courses we offer. www.cityofbristol.ac.uk/learning 0117 312 5000

LEARNING FOR FUN

LEARNING FOR EMPLOYEES

Try something new or find out more about

If you run a business or have responsibility for

of our leisure or hobby courses. They’re held at

to support you in improving your organisation

something you’re already interested in, with one various locations across the city at different times to suit even the busiest of lifestyles.

They’re a great opportunity to meet new people, develop a skill or simply boost your confidence. Popular courses include:

training staff, we have a whole range of courses and ensuring you are compliant with current regulations. From short courses to address

skills gaps, to professional development for your management staff or recruiting an apprentice, we can meet all your training needs.

• Molecular Gastronomy (special effect cooking)

Popular courses include:

• Factual Radio Production

• Marketing

• Car Maintenance

• Health & Safety in the Workplace

• Languages

• Accounting

• Barista Skills

• Business Skills • IT

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!

Whatever you see yourself doing, we can help you to get there at City of Bristol College. Whether you want to get back to education, take your next step into employment, develop your career or just take up a new hobby, we can help. Our wide range of adult courses are open to everyone.

FUNDING Don’t write-off doing a course because you’re

worried about money. There’s a lot of financial

support available, particularly if you are on a low income or aged 19-23. To find out what help is available for you call 0117 312 5000 or go to www.cityofbristol.ac.uk/finance

0117 312 5000 | www.cityofbristol.ac.uk/learning | enquiries@cityofbristol.ac.uk Follow us:

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IDEAS

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If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

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Competition: Win a short break to Jersey courtesy of Condor Ferries and Dolan Hotels A festival of funny

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SHOPPING

SHAKING IT UP Independent of the week Natalie Banyard discovers a cocktail-lover’s paradise on Christmas Steps

ith its creative, independent shops and galleries, Bristol’s historic and beautiful Christmas Steps has become known as the city’s Arts Quarter. And Weber & Tring’s owner, Sarah Weber, believes there’s as much art in making the perfect cocktail as there is in painting the perfect picture. Selling Bristol’s finest selection of spirits and liqueurs, Weber & Tring’s opened its doors last November. “The idea is to offer the A-Z of cocktail making,” says Sarah, who is extremely glamorous, exceedingly French and extraordinarily passionate about all things cocktail. “Lots of people would love to go home after work and enjoy a Martini cocktail, but don’t know how. We’re here to help.” Weber & Tring’s sits comfortably on Christmas Steps. Small and stylish with white-washed cabinets, stone flooring, wooden barrels and large, antique mirrors, the shop is something of an alcohol boutique! But this is not a case of style over substance. The shelves are loaded with everything you could need to make the perfect

cocktail, including equipment and books, bitters, apéritifs, vermouth, sherry, port, Champagne, wine and specialist spirits. The only thing it doesn’t sell is anything apple-based – Sarah’s leaving that to her friends at Bristol Cider Shop, opposite. Sarah emigrated to Bristol from France in 2007, when she was a 20-year-old exchange student. Getting a job as a barmaid in Revolution on St Nicholas Street, she began to develop an interest in the noble art of cocktail-making. “I found it interesting – all the different kinds of cocktails and also all the different varieties of vodkas from all around the world. I enjoyed finding out where certain vodkas were from, how they differed in taste, what cocktails you could make with them. “After gaining experience in Revolution, I moved to The Severnshed before going to work at The Rummer Hotel for a number of years, which had a very good cocktail bar. “I entered cocktail competitions and won straight away, which was great. I also got to meet a lot of people and realised the cocktail scene was pretty big in Bristol. “Despite that, there was

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nowhere in Bristol that I could really buy the equipment I needed – everything had to be ordered online and I like to have things straight away! That’s when the idea for this shop came about.” Sarah shared her dream with husband Richard Tring, who owns Bristol’s exclusive Red Light Cocktail Bar off the

bottom of Park Street. “My husband and I met when we worked together in a bar called Whitelock & Grace in Clifton,” Sarah tells me, “and we both loved working with cocktails. “We discovered that he wanted to open a bar and I wanted to open a shop. That was the dream.

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5 “I knew the market was there. In Bristol, you have wine merchants for wine and Bristol Cider Shop for cider and other apple products, but nothing really for spirits and cocktails. “I was on the stall next to the owners of Bristol Cider Shop at a Christmas market two years ago and I told them I would love to open a shop near them. I

didn’t think it would actually happen! Anyway, after a lot of hard work, Richard opened Red Light in October and I opened Weber & Tring’s in November. The dream came true.”

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Weber & Tring’s, 17 Christmas Steps, Bristol, BS1 5BS. Tel: 0117 929 0097. Open Monday to Saturday, 10am to 6.30pm. ��

CLASSY COCKTAILS Whether you plan to hold a fabulous cocktail party or simply enjoy fixing yourself a Margarita after a long day in the office, here are some accessories you shouldn’t be without...

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LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION With Bristol’s annual Slapstick Festival taking over the city this weekend, we’re loving all things Hollywood-inspired.

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HEALTH&BEAUTY

SKINCARE FROM NATURE’S CUPBOARD Skincare Sick of paying a fortune for beauty creams? Worried about chemical ingredients? You can make your own products with help from Clifton-based School of Natural Skincare. Kate Edser talks to its founder, Gail Francombe.

f we are mindful of the food we eat, doesn’t it also make sense to be selective when it comes to what we apply to our skin? Whether it’s ingredients that go into or on to our bodies, most people would agree that it’s best to stick to natural products. But while it’s easy to pick out fresh and organic food, it’s more difficult to know which lotions and creams are truly “natural”. To be sure, you can make your own – and save a fortune in the process – with a course here in Bristol at the School of Natural Skincare. It is the brainchild of Gail Francombe, who was brought up in South Gloucestershire and returned to Bristol a few years ago after stints working abroad and in London. She explains: “My background is in teaching English as a foreign language all over the world and when I came back to England I worked as an events manager for Save the Children based in London.

“But it got to the point where the commuting was getting a bit much and I remember on the Tube one morning thinking ‘surely there is more to life than this’. I’d had enough. “I decided I wanted to go off to New Zealand for a year to learn how to live off the land, get back to nature and have a complete change of lifestyle. “It included basic herbal medicine and making balms and creams, so that was the start of it for me. Firstly it was a shift in diet, so eating natural and organic foods, and then from there I decided I wanted to use organic things on my skin. “Often you pick up organic skin care products and turn them over and you’re still not sure what’s in them and I wasn’t completely convinced they were as natural as they were claiming. “Because I’d had this back-to-nature and do-it-yourself approach on the course in New Zealand, I decided to start making products for my own use and it grew from there. “That got me up and running,

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selling products online and at craft fairs and markets around the city. As I was selling, people were asking me what was in them and how I make them and showing a lot of interest, and I realised that I could start teaching people how to make their own.” And so the School of Natural Skincare was born four years ago and now offers regular workshops, recipes and online training from a base in Clifton. While Gail was developing the business, she met her now partner, Gareth Despres, who runs his aromatherapy and massage practice alongside the school and also offers perfume-making courses. Join one of their workshops and you’ll learn to make products for face, body and bath using ingredients like essential oils, vegetable oils, cocoa butter, shea butter and mango butter, wax and clay along with some “kitchen cupboard” staples such

as sugar, salt and oats. “There are different levels of difficulty,” says Gail. “The most simple product to make would be a facial serum of oils that you blend together, or a lip balm where you add wax to the oil to thicken it. The next level might be a cream, which is a bit more complicated because it involves water and oil, so you use an emulsifying wax to bind the two ingredients together. “You choose the ingredients based on the skin type you have. If you wanted an anti-aging cream then you’d use special ingredients which would help regenerate the skin, such as frankincense and rosehip oil. For young skin, tea tree oil is the one everyone knows, but it doesn’t smell very nice, so you could use lavender or bergamot.” We give out recipes and at the workshops we demonstrate how to make the products, then people make products with us

Orange and Cocoa Butter Lip Balm

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and take away a little goodie bag. We give them the skills and knowledge that they need to carry on at home for themselves and their families. “People like to know what they are putting on their skin and the face is what the world sees all the time, so face cream is a popular one. Also people like making bath bombs because they are quite fun and make good presents; lots of people go home and say their kids love making them. “It’s vastly cheaper to make your own, too. For a lip balm you might be looking at 50p and you could make a lovely face cream for £2.” For more about the School of Natural Skincare, details of up-coming workshops in February, recipes and online training, visit www.schoolofnaturalskincare.com, call Gail on 07976 403829, or email hello@schoolofnatural skincare.com.

Anti-Ageing Facial Serum

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GADGETS

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he chances are, you’ve never heard of Nest (www.nest.com). Nest is a California-based start-up whose mantra is “We reinvent things”. So far, they’ve reinvented smoke alarms and central heating thermostats, transforming something humdrum into something beautiful, wirelessly connected to the internet, and – of course – many times more expensive. Last week, Google bought Nest for $3.2 billion (just under £2 billion). The question everyone immediately started asking – just as they did when Google recently bought a robotics company – was: Why? What does Google want with a company that makes connected thermostats?

Well, there were two things about Nest that made it so irresistible. The first was its design team. Google wants to out-Apple Apple, so it needs designers who can create gorgeous products at a reasonable cost. Nest had those. The second was connectivity in the home. Nest has managed to create simple networked devices that don’t look like computers. They look a little bit futuristic, but aren’t complicated.

So put yourself in Google’s shoes for a moment. It rules the web, whether web users like it or not. People have tried making better search engines, but no-one has succeeded. Therefore to grow – and capitalism says good companies must grow – Google has to rule other markets too. It’s investing money in companies it thinks will help it grow towards smart devices in millions of homes. Those devices might not be thermostats or smoke alarms – even Google might not know what they are yet. But when it does, it wants the right brains on board to help it build them. And anyway, $3.2 billion sounds like a lot to you and me, but it’s peanuts to Google. Even if good networked devices take ten years to create, it will be a good investment.

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No more Spotify limits

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LAPTOPS FIGHT BACK The rise (and rise) in tablet popularity must have terrorised the balance sheets of laptop manufacturers – but they’re not ready to surrender. In fact, they’ve all significantly upped their game. Peter Jenkinson rounds up six of the winners.

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DAYS OUT i Vh{hspl Jhu hyk

CITY’S ART AND SOUL Xpjr vm {ol ~llr _olyl {ol _hss [h{|ykh 4 Rhu|hy := h{ 99ht6 \pjrl{z jvz{ ôA mvy hk|s{z huk ô<6:8 mvy |ukly59>z6 ^pzp{ ~~~6~olyl{ol~hss6jvt6

ristol is a creative hub, renowned for its street art. But while tourists flock to see what we have to offer, we Bristolians often take it for granted. Now’s the time to change that. Take a look at the fabulous artwork on your doorstep by joining a Where the Wall guided walking tour. These local tours guide you around the street art of Bristol every Saturday from May to October and on selected Saturdays during the rest of the year. The next tour will start at 11am on Saturday, January 25. The two-hour walking tours are a unique historical and cultural journey into Bristol street art. You’ll find out the background stories behind some of Bristol’s biggest street art and discover work you’ve never seen before. The tour route takes you past at least

50 artworks, beginning with the street art in the centre of Bristol before delving into Bristol’s independent and creative quarter. The walk takes in some of Bristol’s most elaborate and impressive murals, including classic Banksy artworks and aerosol art from international artists such as Tats Cru. As street art is a transient and changing world with new artworks appearing each month, the tour guides will always show you the latest and most cutting-edge artwork. Each tour is led by people who are passionate and informed about the Bristol street art scene, and this year the Where the Wall team is joined by new tour leader, Felix “FLX” Braun. Felix was a pioneer of the Bristol graffiti scene when he started painting 30 years ago alongside Inkie and Nick Walker in the infamous Crime Inc Crew.

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Further Afield Tyntesfield Big Birdwatching Weekend 2014 \ u{lzmplsk Jpn Jpyk~h{jopun _llrluk ��

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Reviews by Mark Taylor

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Dinner: Set menu Quality food, bargain prices Oylluz := bl{shuk Zvhk4 Zlkshuk4 Jypz{vs4 J[> ?IP6 \lsB 899? A:<><;?6

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Wine of the week Dourthe La Grande Cuvee Sauvignon Blanc 2012

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EATING IN Think beer just goes in pint glasses? Think again

aving worked with food and drink producers for the past 25 years, Bristol brand design consultant Ian Salisbury has long harboured a desire to produce a cookbook of his own. Through his business Salisbury Associates, Ian now specialises in working on design and marketing with small and medium-sized local producers such as Butcombe and it is with the Wrington-based brewery that he has collaborated on the book Cooking with Beer & Cider. A collection of original recipes, combined with recipes supplied by farmer and TV presenter Adam Henson and Michelin-starred chef Josh Eggleton of the Pony & Trap in Chew Magna, the book includes delicious dishes such as Somerset Cheddar and Butcombe soup and beer-steamed sea bass. “For me, design and cooking are remarkably similar processes and I feel very comfortable around ingredients, flavours and presentation of food,” said Ian. He had the idea of producing a book using beer and cider as the basis for some recipes that may encourage people to cook at home.” Unusually, Ian created the recipes, designed, artworked and wrote the book himself. He also styled, art-directed and cooked the dishes for photographer John Hytch, and the photographs were taken in his own kitchen and dining room. “Butcombe welcomed the idea for a cookbook using their beers and ciders and placed great faith in my abilities to produce the entire publication,” he said. For this chocolate cake recipe, Ian used Butcombe Brunel IPA. A clean, dry and hoppy beer that’s amber in colour and full-bodied, it has a bittersweet finish that echoes the cocoa and sweetness of the cake. Ian says: “It’s a stunning dark, moist and rich chocolate cake, sweet with bitter, malty notes. It’s an indulgent cake that can be eaten as a dessert or tea-time treat.”

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WWW.THOMASSABO.COM CONTACT: + 44 (0) 20 77 20 97 25 | UK@THOMASSABO.COM

TRAVEL

PORT WILL FLOAT YOUR BOAT UK travel Tim Davey discovers there’s more, much more, to Portsmouth than being a nautical gateway to France and Spain.

ortsmouth is one of those places we’ve been to dozens of times over the years but never really paused long enough to take stock of what was on offer there. Normally our view of it involves passing its historic dockside either heading out or home from aboard a cross-channel ferry. I now acknowledge that we should have lingered there a while. Because, recently, we headed along our usual route, out of Bristol, through Salisbury, down a slice of the M27 for a weekend in this world-famous maritime community. The historic waterfront is no misnomer. It is a really atmospheric place, packed full of momentous memories, all exceedingly well

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presented and packaged. There is, be warned, an awful lot to see. Nelson’s warship HMS Victory, HMS Warrior, launched in 1860 and once the pride of Queen Victoria’s fleet, plus Henry VIII’s flagship the Mary Rose, or what’s left of it (and there’s an astonishingly large amount) in its own modern museum experience alongside the Victory. But you can throw in lots more than that. We kicked off our day visit with a guided tour of the Victory. The nice thing is these tours are timed, so, as a consequence you don’t feel hassled or bump into the trip ahead of you. That’s very important because the Victory is no place for crowding. Its decks are low, its staircases narrow, but what a piece of history it is. It oozes the stuff from every

deck, the admiral rooms, the guns, the crew quarters and, poignantly, the place where Nelson fell and the location where he gasped his last breath. All three of us, my wife, teenage grandson and me, were fascinated by this wonderful ship and the tour experience was enlivened further by the excellent guide, a serving member of the Royal Navy as this is, after all, still a vessel of our fleet. When we traipsed off down the gangplank we realised we’d learned an awful lot more about Admiral Nelson, his ship and the Battle of Trafalgar, as well as what life was like at sea in those days. The word harsh doesn’t come into it. The Mary Rose museum, a short step away, is a different proposition. This is a very slick exhibition on various levels, each

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one representing a deck of this ill-fated warship, which sank in 1545. Some of the contents of this wreck which the sea gave up to the divers are exceptional. Cleverly, the contents, say, of the ship’s carpenter, found in his cabin, have been housed in an individual exhibition, along with the skeleton found there, too, with a re-creation of what the unfortunate soul looked like. Next up (and included in the ticket) was a harbour tour. Again, just as on the Victory, this was highly informative and entertaining with lots of info about the many and various floating fighting machines (HMS Bristol being one of them) on view. There are plenty of places where you can grab a coffee or a meal and we did both, before popping into some more of the museums and a place called Action Station where you can go on a Marines inspired assault course, command a submarine or fire at cruise missiles heading towards your vessel. Now all this was on our first full day in Portsmouth, a Saturday. We’d driven up on the Friday night to our hotel, The Langstone, just outside the city limits on Hayling Island. Like lots of places in this part of the world it had a lovely vista out across the water and a whole heap of facilities including an excellent swimming pool, gym and spa which guests can use.

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But it was the restaurant which we loved. It was rather special with some exceptional service, thoroughly deserving of its 2 AA Rosette rating. After breakfast on the Saturday morning we had headed off to Portsmouth for our day of sightseeing. The dockyard and the landmark Spinnaker Tower were both on our agenda. However, cometh the hour and we had to acknowledge defeat on the tower trip that first day because we had taken so much time looking around the historic waterfront. No matter, we returned next day, Sunday. It was not quite so fine and clear unfortunately, but you could still gaze for miles and miles and miles from the top of the Spinnaker. You get there courtesy of a manned elevator ride lasting less than 30 seconds, and step out more than 300 feet (100 metres) above the city and seafront. It was well worth it. Not just for the views around, or sipping a tea and coffee at such a great height, but because of a nice little frisson of fear they build into the trip. This involves walking across a sheet of glass which looks straight down... awesome. The café is a floor above this experience and one more floor above that is a viewing area open to the elements. Down below my wife, who had opted out of the tower visit, was indulging in some shopping in the Gunwharf Quays emporiums. This is a seriously good shopping complex which really works and the place has a vast amount of decent restaurants and bars. Hayling Island, our hotel location, was quaint with its shingle beach, a discreet fun-fair and seafront narrow gauge train. So was Southsea, tacked on to Portsmouth, which we also visited. It boasts a great seafront promenade with lots of activities lurking behind the sea wall, including Southsea Castle, built by Henry VIII and right on the front the Blue Reef Aquarium which was fascinating, especially their giant rays which seemed to think any human gawping at them was about to feed them so they popped their curious frames right out of the water when you stood near. We drove home late on the Sunday afternoon all agreeing that this had been a really interesting weekend, full of fascinating things to do and see, combined with some great food and a hefty chunk of serious retail therapy. ��

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The voice of North Yorkshire soul

e possesses a voice that has been compared to the American soul greats but John Newman originates a long way from Detroit. Hailing from Settle in the Yorkshire Dales, Newman began playing guitar and writing his own songs aged just 14 and soon learned how to record and produce himself, making his own house tracks and DJing. A few years later and all the influences started to stack up to form the basis of Newman’s sound. Think the pure soul and groove of early Stax and Motown, add a dash of James Brown and Prince, a smattering of Black Keys, and mix it all together with a bit of Dangermouse. It’s all in there, but what really hits you is that voice, a voice that has been likened to as diverse a range of artists as Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye and Amy Winehouse. Newman’s voice and his songs cut through with a depth and a richness that’s way beyond his 24 years. He has just been nominated

for two Brit Awards, including British Male Solo Artist, alongside David Bowie, James Blake and Jake Bugg. In 2012, a year before his first solo material had even seen the light of day, Newman scored a number one single, appeared on both Later with Jools Holland, and the Christmas Top Of The Pops, and had written and sung on two of the biggest dance hits in years: Rudimental’s massive number one Feel The Love and the anthemic Not Giving In. Born in North Yorkshire, to a mother obsessed with Motown and Northern Soul, Newman never really knew you could be a singer, that you could express yourself through writing and performing your own songs. No one from where he grew up ever spoke about such a thing; indeed, to bring the subject up among your school friends would only provoke scorn. But as a teenager, having watched his elder brother leave home and form a band, John realised there was a world beyond everything he knew. As a young woman, Newman’s mum had danced to Northern Soul at Wigan Pier. A quarter of

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a century later her son was in the same legendary venue dancing to hard house music. The house music he loved turned into hip-hop, then Motown, then his mum’s eclectic Seventies and Eighties vinyl. There were albums by Diana Ross and James Brown, there was Northern Soul and punk, too, and Newman loved playing them so much he began DJing at local birthday parties. At the same time he was listening to Damien Rice, Ray Lamontagne and Ben Harper as he taught himself guitar. Aged 15, Newman commandeered the cupboard under the stairs and, being a confirmed DIY nut, turned it into his first studio. Before long he was doing solo gigs in local pubs, advertised with his own photoshoots, posters and artwork. He took it all online and suddenly he was too busy for some of his previous pursuits. “It was time to stop getting arrested and start taking music seriously,” he laughs, clearly not missing a career illegally riding mopeds across farmers’ fields. “Saturday morning’s better when you don’t wake up in a cell…”

When he left school he wanted to be a mechanic, but he soon realised he was spending more time asleep in the back recovering from gigs than he was learning about carburettors. “I was sat in class writing songs,” he says. “I’d gone totally over to music and once I know what I want to do, I do it.” With that decision made, he moved to Leeds, where he studied at the College of Music for three years, before moving to London, where he formed his first band with Piers Agget, who went on to start Rudimental. The rest, as they say, is history. At the end of last year, Newman’s debut album, Tribute, stormed into the UK chart at number one, beating the likes of Paul McCartney, Pearl Jam and Cher to the top spot. Now he’s on the road for his second major UK tour after a trio of hit singles – Love Me Again (which has just been nominated for British Single of the Year in the 2014 Brits), Cheating and Losing Sleep – stopping off at Bristol’s O2 Academy for what promises to be an unmissable show. David Marks

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Contemporary Italian dining at Filini bar & restaurant, Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol Fresh and mouthwatering dishes from the heart of Italy and Sardinia

You’ll find Filini at Radisson Blu Hotel Broad Quay, Bristol BS1 4BY, United Kingdom tel +44 (0) 117 934 9500 www.radissonblu.com/hotel-bristol www.filinirestaurantbristol.co.uk

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Don’t miss Trish Brown Band

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n a year littered with terrific films and eye-catching performances, one or two gems were always going to be short-changed in the Academy Awards nominations. Few could have predicted that Joel and Ethan Coen, who won four golden statuettes for No Country For Old Men and Fargo, would be among the casualties when they were armed with this delightful and artfully composed comedy drama. Admittedly, Inside Llewyn Davis moves to its own soft beat, the colour palette is earthy and the humour dry rather than laugh-out-loud funny. But the script is peppered with polished one-liners, the direction elegant and performances are exemplary. Every frame beautifully harks back to the Greenwich Village folk scene of the early 1960s.

Like the central character, essayed by Oscar Isaac who should have usurped Christian Bale on the Oscars shortlist, the Coens’ film has been unfairly overshadowed. Isaac plays the eponymous musician, who has yet to recover from the suicide of his singing partner. He ricochets from one gig to the next, begging for temporary refuge on the couches of friends including Mitch Gorfein (Ethan Phillips) and his wife Lillian (Robin Bartlett). By accident, Llewyn lets out the Gorfeins’ cat and he embarks on a mission to track down the feline before his hosts notice the animal is missing. Thankfully, Llewyn locates the animal but since he is unable to return it to the locked apartment, the singer-songwriter takes his four-legged nemesis to the flat of friends Jim (Justin Timberlake) and Jean (Carey

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Mulligan), who are also a singing duo. Jean’s frustrations with Llewyn soon boil over. “Everything you touch turns to s*** – like King Midas’s idiot brother!” she seethes, eventually revealing the source of her ire. Llewyn still crashes at Jean and Jim’s flat, with a cheery army recruit and aspiring folk singer called Troy Nelson (Stark Sands). “Did you meet Elvis?” enquires Oscar casually. “No, I did not meet Private Presley,” Troy crisply responds. When the Gorfeins’ cat escapes for a second time, Llewyn resigns himself to telling them the horrible truth and heads to Chicago for an important audition in the company of drug-addicted jazz musician Roland Turner (John Goodman) and his driver Johnny Five (Garrett Hedlund). Interspersed with musical

performances by the cast, Inside Llewyn Davis is another offbeat character study from the Coens proving what goes around, comes around. Isaac is terrific, weathering each outrageous misfortune with the same look of mournful resignation, while Mulligan plays effectively against type as a feisty independent woman, who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. Colourful supporting performances provide bookmarks for Llewyn’s journey of self-discovery and the cat, which lands the protagonist in trouble, inevitably provides one of the film’s comical high points.

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verybody hurts in August: Osage County, adapted for the screen by Tracy Letts from his 2008 Pulitzer Prize-winning play. Some of the dysfunctional family at the film’s emotional core suffer superficial wounds: dents to foolish pride, bruises to overinflated egos, grazes from expertly tossed verbal barbs. However, many of this conflicted clan are not so fortunate, harbouring deep psychological scars that have festered for years. Death is the only salvation from this misery. In the meantime, family members react to the constant throb of anguish and self-loathing by lashing out at their nearest and dearest. John Wells’ film opens in the calm before an inevitable storm with grizzled patriarch Beverly

Weston (Sam Shepard) hiring a Native American woman called Johnna (Misty Upham) as a live-in carer and cook for his pill-popping, terminally ill wife, Violet (Meryl Streep). Soon after, Beverly vanishes from his rural Oklahoma homestead and his lifeless body is recovered five days later in a nearby lake. Violet telephones her three daughters for support and they dutifully, if reluctantly, rally to her desperate cause. Youngest child Ivy (Julianne Nicholson) lives nearby while oldest child Barbara (Julia Roberts) arrives from out of town with her estranged husband Bill (Ewan McGregor) and their disgruntled 14-year-old daughter, Jean (Abigail Breslin). Flighty middle child Karen (Juliette Lewis) is last to materialise, waltzing into town with her new beau, sleazy Florida businessman Steve

Heidebrecht (Dermot Mulroney). Violet’s waspish sister Mattie Fae (Margo Martindale), her long-suffering husband Charles (Chris Cooper) and their socially awkward son Little Charles (Benedict Cumberbatch) also crowd around the dinner table, where drug-addled Violet insists on serving up bile-slathered insults alongside Johnna’s lovingly prepared meal. “You’re in rare form today, Vi,” quips Charles, hoping to dissipate some of the tension, but his sister-in-law is spoiling for a fight. Set largely within the claustrophobic Weston house on a sweltering summer afternoon, August: Osage County cannot escape its theatrical origins. Wells harnesses tour-de-force performances from the ensemble cast. Streep is in blistering form, baiting her eldest daughter for a heated response with each

swingeing sideswipe: “If you’d had more than one child, you’d know a parent always has favourites.” Fellow Oscar nominee Roberts is equally impressive, finally losing her cool in a hysterical scene with a plate of fish. Martindale is mesmerising while Brits abroad McGregor and Cumberbatch offer solid accents in slightly underwritten supporting roles. Like so many family gatherings, the film ends in tears, recriminations and the unsettling promise of more damage to come.

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his year’s Slapstick Festival has two milestones to celebrate. For one thing, the brilliant, Bristol-based celebration of silent and classic comedy is marking its tenth birthday – and the 2014 Festival, with its scores of famous funny folk in attendance, is a far cry from the small debut festival that opened in Bristol a decade ago. But Slapstick’s own anniversary isn’t the only one being celebrated this year. This year’s festival also kick-starts a global series of events marking the centenary of Charlie Chaplin’s best-loved character, the Little Tramp. And, as part of its own packed programme, Slapstick will host a gala screening of Chaplin’s silent masterwork City Lights, accompanied live by a 39-piece orchestra playing Chaplin’s own score for the film. Chaplin’s 1931 classic,

regularly voted one of the greatest films of all time, follows the misadventures of the irrepressible Tramp as he falls in love with a blind girl and develops a turbulent friendship with an alcoholic millionaire. The event, this Friday evening at 7.30pm at Colston Hall, will be hosted by actor, stand-up and Chaplin enthusiast Omid Djalili. Elsewhere, this year’s Slapstick programme is the most ambitious in its decade-long history, with top comedians and actors looking in at the festival’s four venues (Arnolfini, Bristol Old Vic, Colston Hall and Watershed) across the city centre. Barry Cryer, Harry Hill, Terry Jones, Phill Jupitus, Paul McGann, Lucy Porter, Tim Vine and all three members of legendary 1970s comic trio The Goodies are among those on the roster. Comedian, author and television presenter Hill, whose own comedy owes a healthy

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debt to the slapstick tradition, will be revealing his all-time favourite comedy clips in the company of former Goodie-turned Radio 4 comedy fave Graeme Garden at Bristol Old Vic on Sunday 26 (4pm). And all three Goodies will be unveiling rare footage from that master of silent and slapstick comedy, Buster Keaton, at the Old Vic on the Saturday afternoon at 4.30pm. Elsewhere, comic Lucy Porter will introduce audiences to the art of Constance Talmadge, the early silent movie star perhaps best known for her role as the tomboyish Mountain Girl in the 1916 epic film Intolerance (Sat 25, Arnolfini, 11.30am), while Garden will be back to celebrate the incomparable Jewish comic Max Davidson on Sunday at Watershed (10am). Stand-up comic and undisputed master of the one-liner Tim Vine will be taking a fresh look at the comedy of Benny Hill (Sun 26, Watershed, 11.40am); Aardman’s Nick Park

will be sharing the best slapstick antics of his Oscar-winning creation Gromit (Sat 25, BOV, 2.30pm); and a screening of Monty Python’s slapstick-heavy last film The Meaning Of Life will be introduced by its director, co-writer and star, Python Terry Jones, at the Old Vic at 8.15pm on Saturday. “We’re thrilled that so many of today’s top comedy performers want to be part of Slapstick’s tenth birthday celebrations, and of our centenary salute to one of the greatest comedy characters of all time, Chaplin’s Tramp,” enthuses festival director Chris Daniels. “Ten years ago, Slapstick was a tiny event struggling to keep the love of classic comedy alive. Now people of all ages come from all over, knowing that they will get a weekend full of laugh-out-loud enjoyment in the company of some of our best known and best loved entertainers!”

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ART

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ention the name of Barrington Tabb to anyone with more than a passing interest in Bristol’s visual arts landscape and you’ll probably be rewarded with a sigh of appreciation. Born in Almondsbury in 1934, and having since spent half a century living and working in the same house in Brislington, Tabb is one of the most celebrated and admired painters of modern Bristol, documenting the changing phases of the city’s historic and industrial areas with a wonderfully vibrant, colourful and unruly style in which paint is daubed thickly and exuberantly across the canvas and the straight lines of the man-made world acquire a fluid energy. Bristol’s Cube Gallery has represented this great artist for some time, and has made him the centrepiece of its typically

fine upcoming exhibition. World Landscape draws together a rich variety of landscape paintings by some of the gallery’s regular exhibitors. Many of the scenes are inspired by the artists’ travels around the world – but visitors will recognise a few local scenes in the mix, too. “Barrington Tabb is the master of the mundane,” explains gallery manager Tim Howard. “For 50 years he has recorded Bristol’s back streets, terraces, docks, railway bridges, canals and smoking factory chimneys. All his paintings are derived from small, quickly executed drawings that are done on the spot, complete with scribbled colour notes, descriptions of the prevailing weather and other reminders.” Given that his pictures feature no parked cars, speed bumps or parking meters, Tabb’s enduring passion for Bristol’s streets may be tinged with nostalgia. But, says Tim, it would be wrong to view them merely as time capsules, for Tabb uses nostalgia as a jumping-off point, not as an end in itself. “The strength and vitality of his art derive from its blending of past and present: by combining vivid memories and

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passionate feelings with acute observation, his paintings resonate a sense of history. “They are living testimony to the fact that Bristol has seen more changes than most cities, especially in the post-war period when the devastation of the Blitz gave way to the ‘improvement’ schemes of the urban planners. The anonymity of concrete and steel replaced the intimacy of time-stained brick and Cotswold stone. The roar and pollution of the motor car took over from the sound of children playing in the streets and the bustle of activity in the docks and factories. Tabb’s work recalls a bygone era.” For the last 20 years, meanwhile, Tabb has suffered from cellophane maculopathy, a condition that distorts vision and makes straight lines appear wavy. Hence the leaning trees, buildings and lampstands in his paintings are depicted just as he sees them. Joining Tabb’s Bristol scenes in the Cube’s survey of contemporary landscape painting are works by Derek Balmer, a former RWA President known for his energetic, colourful scenes; Karen Edwards, a Bristol-based painter

of extraordinarily limpid, evocative seascapes and cityscapes from the South West and far beyond; and Jack Frame, best known for his stunning depictions of trees in blossom. So, Tim, why an exhibition of landscape paintings? “On a recent trip to the Chinese Masters Exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum, we were struck by the rich history surrounding landscape art. This made us reflect on how the world of landscape art has changed and how wonderfully diverse it has become. “We want to celebrate this great, timeless subject that inspires generation after generation of artists all over the world. The exhibition explores the journey of the artist, the reasons they are drawn to this subject and the methods they employ to capture the scene. “For us, what defines a great landscape painting is the instant reaction you have to an image – whether this is achieved by the use of colour, an expressive application of paint, or the artist’s unique style or medium,” Tim concludes. “You never know what you will respond to until it’s on the wall in front of you.”

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Don’t miss Workshop: Picture the Natural World

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EXHIBITION

JoĂŤlle Tuerlinckx WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS? Until Sunday 16 March 2014 Exhibition spaces open Tuesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Sunday 11am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 6pm, free admission Visit arnolďŹ ni.org.uk for Christmas opening hours ArnolďŹ ni 16 Narrow Quay, Bristol BS1 4QA arnolďŹ ni.org.uk @arnolďŹ niarts #JoelleT (Image left) JoĂŤlle Tuerlinckx, WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS?, ArnolďŹ ni, installation view, 2013. Photo Stuart Whipps (Image right) JoĂŤlle Tuerlinckx: ModĂ¨le originale, 2009 Supported by

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BOOKS

The Unpredicatable Consequences of Love

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s we approach Valentine’s Day, a series of love letters with a difference are now on the shelves. From tender love notes penned by an unknown Tommy in the trenches to the private thoughts of Winston Churchill, Love Letters of the Great War brings together some of the most romantic correspondence ever committed to paper. The book is a collection of real, never-before-published correspondences between soldiers and their sweethearts from around the world. During the First World War, many men and women suddenly found themselves separated by great distances, with the knowledge that they may never be reunited. Tragically, many never saw their partners again. These touching and fascinating first-hand accounts

relay the separation, the longing and the conditions faced by individuals at that time. There are heart-wrenching love notes, sweet drawings and tenderly exchanged photographs. But the focus isn’t just on the romantic; there are also wonderful bursts of humour, “Dear John” letters, and barely concealed frustrations and fears. The correspondence proves that love is a universal language, as they come from British, American, German, Russian, Australia and Canadian troops. As well as an insightful foreword by Helen Dunmore, every letter is prefaced by background notes from editor Mandy Kirby, further bringing to life the individual situation of each letter writer for the reader. Love Letters Of The Great War is a short but wonderful anthology, which paints an intimate and human portrait of love and war, and brings to life one of the most significant

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events in recent history. It also highlights the unsung heroes in the army postal service, who for over four years performed miracles in keeping loved ones in touch, sending millions of letters, love tokens and parcels of home comforts to and from the frontline. A brilliant collection, and a must-read for all.

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The Rosie Project

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PROPERTY STABLE INVESTMENT Property of the week The Stables, Damery, Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire Five-bed detached, offers over £1,000,000, Connells - 01454 320555

hile spaciousness and versatility might be two of the most appropriate adjectives applicable to this unique property, it’s the plot, next to a river (with fishing rights) and with a private island, that is perhaps the stand-out feature. The Stables is linear in shape and mostly on one level, with a terrace running the length of the house, on to which most of the principle rooms open via French doors. Set in level lawns, all enclosed by post-and-rail fencing, the 2.5-acre plot is raised above the Little Avon river. The stone terrace is linked via a path and a bridge over the river to the grassy and wooded island – a lovely place to enjoy peace and quiet. Elsewhere is a paddock. The Stables, as the house is known, is on the site of a old mill in the hamlet of Damery and was completely rebuilt 20 years ago, using the original stone where possible to create an extensive, split-level home. Damery is just outside the village of Tortworth, which has a church, primary

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school, farm shop and restaurant and the oldest oak tree in England. The towns of Wotton-under-Edge and Thornbury are a few miles distant, with a decent range of shops and amenities, and there’s easy access to the M4, M5 and Bristol Parkway station, with direct trains to London Paddington. So, now we’ve set the scene, let’s turn our attention to the interior of the property. In the centre is a big hall, where an open archway reveals a library/sitting room at the far end, with plenty of fitted shelves. To one side of the hall are four bedrooms (two with en suite bathrooms, built-in wardrobes and patio doors opening to the terrace) then a large reception room, which has two sets of double doors, one opening to the terrace and the other to the garage or games room. This end of the house has potential for conversion to an annex. On the other side of the hall is the main living room, with two sets of glazed doors opening to the terrace, while a log burner set into a full-height, raised brick fireplace makes a great focal point. Besides the extensive glazing in this huge room, the use of pale paint on the walls, and a pale cream carpet

help to make it a bright space. Beyond is the master suite, with extensive built-in wardrobes, a dressing table and drawer units, yet more patio doors, a seating dressing/area and an en suite complete with a Jacuzzi-style bath, shower and double wash basins set in a vanity unit. There’s a further shower room and a utility room at this end of the property, along with the large, custom-built kitchen. Solid wood cupboards are complemented by pale tiled worktops. There’s a ceramic double sink in an island unit, and elsewhere is a microwave, electric oven, plus space for a dishwasher and fridge/freezer. A range cooker and a gas hob are set into recesses in exposed brick walls. Exposed beams add further interest here, while a tessellated dining table can seat up to ten people, making this cooking and dining area a great space for parties at any time of year. In the summer, simply throw open the French doors and guests can spill out on to the terrace and enjoy the island view. Finally, there is a cobbled drive and a large parking area, plus a store room idea for a mower and as a log store.

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LUXURY BREAK Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers.

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Enjoy your home, enhance your lifestyle

A comfortable lounge area

One room, many uses A conservatory can offer you the space to relax, entertain or provide the additional room that a young family needs to grow. Designed to fit in with your lifestyle a conservatory can provide the additional space you are looking for - without the turmoil and expense of moving house. A refined dining room

Your local manufacturer and installer being the only company in the whole of the South West to hold four BRITISH KITEMARKS AND SECURED BY DESIGN. Ourr ac Ou accr cred cr edit ed itat it atio at ions io ns ar aree yo your ur guar gu aran ar ante an teee of th te thee qu qual ality al ty an andd th the stan st anda an dard da rdss we ac achi hiev hi evee fr ev from om co conc ncep nc ept ep to co comp mple mp leti le tion ti on

A space for the whole family to enjoy

scan the image to see more

A light and airy garden room

SHOWROOM Unit 6, Bridge Rd Ind Est, Bridge Rd, Kingswood, BS15 4TA HOURS Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm. Sat 9am - 1pm TEL 0117 9061180 / 01225 738606 FREEPHONE 0800 0133122 VISIT US ONLINE www.crwindows.co.uk

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18-19 Elton Road, Clevedon, Somerset, BS21 7EH

www.hawthornsretirement.co.uk

Retirement dreaming? Wake up to the benefits of renting at ‘The Hawthorns’ FINDING a practical solution which matches the quality of your retirement living dream may be easier said than done – and renting may not automatically spring to the top of your list of possible solutions. However, increasing numbers of UK retirees are discovering what their counterparts in America and Australia found out a few years back – that renting your retirement home offers many advantages over continued property ownership. Even more are discovering how you can continue to benefit from both! Hawthorns Retirement has brought its highly successful American formula for retirement living to the UK at Eastbourne, Clevedon and Braintree. These developments, in a nutshell, offer you continued independent living, none of the worries of home ownership and total flexibility to change your lifestyle at a month’s notice should circumstances dictate. And all this is achieved by renting your retirement home at The Hawthorns.

Call 01275 790060

Your monthly rental includes all your many monthly expenses including all your meals and snacks, utility bills, housekeeping, maintenance – even a free mini-bus to take you to the shops and back. If you sit down and calculate what you are spending on all those items living in your own home, the rental fees appears very reasonable indeed. As well as the financial argument, life at The Hawthorns offers the added benefits of security, companionship and the flexibility of handing in just one month’s notice of your decision to leave. Whilst many residents fund this idyllic retirement lifestyle from the proceeds of the sale of their home, many others opt to rent out their own property and fund their new-found lifestyle from the rental income, maintaining their property as part of their estate. Maybe you should wake up to the benefits of renting!

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TV PICKS

THE VOICE UK 7pm, BBC1

Emma Willis and Marvin Humes host the third round of blind auditions, with coaches Kylie Minogue, Tom Jones, Will.i.am and Ricky Wilson.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 The Good Cook (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Inspire: The Olympic Journey (S,HD). 1.45 Live Athletics: UK Indoor Match (S,HD). The indoor meeting at the Emirates Arena in Glasgow. 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.20 Dynamo: Magician Impossible (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

SPLASH! 6.45pm, ITV

Comedienne Jenny Eclair, former rugby union player Austin Healey, The Gadget Show’s Pollyanna Woodward, Paralympic gold medallist Richard Whitehead and Una Foden of the Saturdays compete for two places in next week’s semi-final with help from coach Tom Daley.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.45 Film: The Spanish Main (S) (1945). ●●● 8.25 Live Tennis: Australian Open Women’s Final (S,HD). 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.00 The A to Z of TV Cooking (S). 12.45 The Big Bread Experiment (R,S). 1.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 2.30 Live International Bowls (S,HD). The World Indoor Championships. 4.30 Coast (R,S,HD). 5.00 Wild Arabia (R,S,HD).

TAKE ME OUT 8.15pm, ITV

A Cornwall surfer, a festival lover from Watford, a Bedford carpenter and a Take That tribute star from Manchester try to impress a panel of women. Paddy McGuinness presents.

ITV

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Dinner Date (R,S). 10.25 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.30 Catchphrase (R,S,HD). 12.15 Live FA Cup Football (S,HD). Bournemouth v Liverpool (kick-off 12.45pm). 3.00 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S,HD). 3.40 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.10 Film: Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (S,HD) (2010). Fantasy comedy, starring Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenhaal. ●●●●

THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW 9.30pm, ITV

The host welcomes another batch of celebrity guests to his famous green room. Given the fact the word’s most powerful PRs are lining up to plug their artist’s latest TV show, play, film, book or album, there’s little wonder Jonathan Ross and his team can pick or choose the best celebs in the business.

Channel 4

6.10 The American Football Show: The Road to the Super Bowl (R,S). 7.05 Trans World Sport (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S). 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.30 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 11.55 The Simpsons (R,S). Krusty spices up his act. 12.25 The Taste (R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S). Live coverage from Cheltenham and Doncaster. 4.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 10.00 Power Rangers: Megaforce (R,S,HD). 10.35 Access. 10.50 World’s Worst Holiday Horrors (R,S,HD). 11.50 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 1.15 Film: Legally Blonde (S,HD) (2001). ●●● 3.00 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 4.00 Film: Columbo: A Deadly State of Mind (S) (1975). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●●● 5.35 Film: Columbo: A Matter of Honour (S) (1976). Drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●●

▼

NCIS, 6.50pm

6.30 News (S).

6.50 NCIS (R,S,HD). 1/24. Tony tries to piece together the events that led to him lying wounded in a hospital bed, having been shot in the chest through his bulletproof vest.

7.00 Speed with Guy Martin (R,S,HD). 3/4. See Choices Above.

7.40 NCIS (R,S). 7/24. A marine colonel is killed in an explosion. Crime drama, starring Mark Harmon.

8.00 Dad’s Army (R,S). 13/14. Frazer loses part of a gun. Sitcom, starring John Laurie. 8.30 Morecambe & Wise in Pieces: At Home (S,HD). 3/5. Highlights from the comedy duo’s sketches set in domestic situations.

8.15 Take Me Out (S,HD). 4/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Bigfoot Files (R,S,HD). 1/3. Geneticist Bryan Sykes and presenter Mark Evans embark on a global quest to solve the riddle of mysterious creatures such as the sasquatch.

8.30 NCIS (R,S). 8/24. A former marine falls to his death from a hotel balcony, and investigations lead the team to the discovery of another body – along with a vice ring trafficking young girls. Mark Harmon stars.

9.30 QI XL (S,HD). 1/16. Stephen Fry presents an extended edition of the quiz that tests the most obscure parts of contestants’ general knowledge, awarding points for interesting answers as well as correct ones.

9.30 The Jonathan Ross Show (S,HD). 4/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Hostages (S,HD). 3/15. When Kincaid decides to use the services of a different surgeon, Duncan warns Ellen there will be consequences if she cannot persuade the president to keep her on as his doctor. US thriller, starring Toni Collette and Dylan McDermott.

9.20 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 9.30 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 23/27. With the reality series extended for an extra five days, further highlights of yesterday’s goings-on, including reaction to another eviction ahead of Wednesday’s final.

7.00 Flog It! (R,S). 8/60. Experts Philip Serrell and Charlie Ross examine heirlooms in Tavistock, Devon, while presenter Paul Martin has a look around Endsleigh Gardens.

▼

Hostages, 9pm

6.20 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.45 Splash! (S,HD). 4/7. Comedienne Jenny Eclair, former rugby union player Austin Healey, The Gadget Show’s Pollyanna Woodward, Paralympic gold medallist Richard Whitehead and Una Foden of the Saturdays compete for two places in next week’s semi-final. See Choices Above.

▼

after

You’ve Been Framed!, 3.40pm

6.00 Wild Arabia (R,S,HD). 2/3. Exploring the mountains of Dhofar in Oman.

▼

Live Tennis: Australian … 8.25am

6.00 Reflex (S,HD). 3/6. Families from Eastbourne and Yorkshire battle each other in a series of physical and mental challenges. Hosted by Shane Richie. 6.45 Regional News (S,HD). 7.00 The Voice UK (S,HD). 3/14. See Choices Above.

9.10 Casualty (S,HD). 22/48. Dixie and Rita are enjoying a night out when they spot a woman running away from an alley in distress, and approach one of the men who was with her. But just as he turns aggressive, he trips and bangs his head – only to blame Dixie for his injuries. 10.00 Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD). 1/6. Agnes tries to solve Dermot’s relationship problems. 10.30 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.50 Air Force One (S,HD) (1997). The American president is forced to take drastic measures to save his family when their plane is hijacked by Russian terrorists demanding the release of a jailed radical general. Action thriller, starring Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Dean Stockwell and William H Macy. ●●●●

10.15 West Is West (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●●●

12.45 Film: The Two Mr Kissels (S,HD) (2008). Fact-based drama following the rivalry between two multimillionaire brothers that ultimately led to their mysterious deaths. Starring John Stamos, Anson Mount, Robin Tunney, Gretchen Egolf, Chuck Shamata, Simon Reynolds and Carlos Gonzalez-Vio. ●●● 2.10 Weatherview (S). 2.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.55 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes from BBC Two.

▼

Casualty, 9.10pm

8.15 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins (S,HD). 4/8. Nick Knowles hosts the game show in which two pairs of strangers compete by listing as much as they know about given subjects. Including the Lotto and Thunderball draws.

▼

6 7 8 9

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.55 International Bowls (S,HD). The World Indoor Championships. Highlights of the Open Singles semi-finals at the Potters Leisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. Presented by Rishi Persad.

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10.30 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 10.45 FA Cup Football Highlights (S,HD). Action from the completed fourth-round matches, including Southend United v Hull City at Roots Hall and Bolton Wanderers v Cardiff City at the Reebok Stadium and Sunderland v Kidderminster Harriers at the Stadium of Light. Matt Smith presents, with analysis from Gordon Strachan and Clarke Carlisle.

10.00 Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (S,HD) (2009). Premiere. Bold and charismatic werewolf slave Lucian incites his species to rebel against the vampires who enslaved them. Fantasy horror prequel, starring Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy and Rhona Mitra. ●●●

10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Psych (S,HD). Rylan Clark is joined by a panel led by former celebrity housemate Carol McGiffin and Iain Lee, as well as psychologists, bodylanguage experts and celebrity fans, to analyse the behaviour of the housemates.

11.45 30 Days of Night (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●

11.45 Ultimate Police Interceptors (R,S). 4/4. Jason is called to the scene of a bludgeoning, a driver leads eight police cars on a high-speed pursuit along the M1, and Ady finds a stash of cannabis. Last in the series.

12.00 The Cube (R,S,HD). A single mother tries to complete a series of increasingly difficult challenges, ranging from agility tests to skill trials, in an attempt to win a jackpot of £250,000. 12.50 Jackpot247 3.00 Ladette to Lady: Australia (R,S). The five remaining contenders host a threecourse dinner for 16 guests. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD).

1.50 Southland (R,S,HD). John tries to save a suicidal teenager, Sammy’s plan to use a former drug addict as an informant backfires, while Lydia and Ruben investigate a staged a break-in. 2.35 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 4.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). High-stakes game show, with Noel Edmonds. 5.45 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD).

12.15 SuperCasino 3.10 Road Terror: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

The racing fan embarks on a mission to fly using muscle power alone, teaming up with engineers from Southampton University to build the fastest manpowered aircraft in the world.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Matt Cardle: The Hot Desk (R,HD). 6.55 Coronation Street (HD). 9.15 Emmerdale (HD). 11.45 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 12.15 Film: Free Willy (HD) (1993). ●●● 2.30 Film: Honey (HD) (2003). ●● 4.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 4.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 5.25 You’ve Been Framed and Famous! (R).

THE TOMORROW PEOPLE 8pm, E4

Astrid tries to revive Stephen’s social life by taking him to a party, where he becomes distracted when he realises one of his classmates is in a vulnerable state. He turns to Cara for help, but she is adamant the Tomorrow People do not intervene in human lives.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 Make It or Break It (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.30 The Mindy Project (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 4.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 5.30 The Big Bang Theory: Access All Areas (R,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00 WWE Superstars 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.00 Lone Survivor Special (S,HD). 4.30 Grudge Match Special (S,HD). 5.00 Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

SPEED WITH GUY MARTIN 7pm, Channel 4

WEST IS WEST 10.15pm, BBC2

30 DAYS OF NIGHT 11.45pm, Channel 4

Comedy sequel to East Is East, with Om Puri, Aqib Khan, Linda Bassett, Emil Marwa, Jimi Mistry, Robert Pugh and Dhanalaxmi Padmakumar.

GOLD

6.00 Jeeves and Wooster 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 10.00 Only Fools and Horses 11.10 Only Fools and Horses 11.50 Only Fools and Horses 1.00 Only Fools and Horses 1.40 Only Fools and Horses 3.30 Only Fools and Horses 4.40 Only Fools and Horses

The Perfect Storm, 6.30pm

Terminator: Salvation, 9pm

The Kumars, 10pm

Starsky & Hutch, 9pm

6.30 The Perfect Storm (HD) (2000). The skipper of a fishing boat and his crew ignore severe weather warnings and head for a dangerous area of the North Atlantic in search of the last lucrative catch of the season, but end up fighting for survival in the worst storm of the 20th century. Fact-based disaster drama, with George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Diane Lane, John C Reilly and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon acquires a girlfriend. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Harrow: A Very British School (R,S,HD). Following staff and pupils at the boys’ school.

6.30 Only Fools and Horses Del tries to sell two antique urns – but one of them contains the ashes of Trigger’s late grandfather.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Leonard and Raj take a heartbroken Howard to Las Vegas. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 Futurama: Welcome to the World of Tomorrow (R,S). 7.15 The Simpsons (R,S). 7.45 The Simpsons (R,S).

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Die Another Day (HD) (2002). James Bond is suspended from duty after being taken hostage in North Korea, but goes against orders to track down those who betrayed him. During the pursuit of the terrorist he was investigating before his capture, he discovers a connection with a British billionaire who has constructed a devastating orbital weapon. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Judi Dench and John Cleese. ●●

8.15 Muppets from Space (1999). Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette and Ray Liotta. ●●●●

7.10 Only Fools and Horses The Trotters go on a lads’ day out to Margate with their mates, but things do not go as expected when their bus blows up, leaving them stranded overnight in the seaside town. Feature-length Christmas special from 1989, starring David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst.

9.00 Terminator Salvation (HD) (2009). In a future dominated by the deadly robots, resistance leader John Connor fights to stop the creation of an advanced new terminator and searches for the teenager destined to go back in time and become his 10.00 The Kumars (R,S,HD). father. Elsewhere, a Comedy chat show mysterious stranger with which sees the family no memory is about to invite three of Britain’s learn the shocking truth best-loved acting about his origins. Sci-fi talents, Rupert Everett, thriller sequel, starring Ray Winstone and Diana Christian Bale, Sam Rigg, into their home. Worthington and Anton Yelchin. ●●

9.00 Starsky & Hutch (2004). Two mismatched detectives are forced to work together for the first time to track down a crime kingpin who has introduced a new, undetectable narcotic to the streets – but they struggle to get along. Comedy spoofing the 1970s cop show, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn and Juliette Lewis. ●●●

A horde of vampires discovers the perfect hunting ground – a town in Alaska that remains sunless for an entire month. Horror, with Josh Hartnett.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 7.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 Premier League 100 Club (S,HD). 1.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.00 Live Anglo-Welsh Cup Rugby Union (HD). 4.45 Live International Rugby Union (HD).

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes: Revenge of the Fifth (S). 7.15 Top Gear (R,S,HD). 8.15 The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (S,HD) (2008). Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Ben Barnes. ●●● 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). An edition from 2011. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). Lois discovers that Live Rugby Union, 2pm she has an estranged 6.55 Live Spanish Football brother. (HD). Valencia v Espanyol (kick-off 7.00pm). All the 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). Peter starts his action from this own religion. evening’s La Liga match 11.45 Family Guy (R,S). at the Mestalla. 12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.25 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 Family Guy (R,S). 1.15 Family Guy (R,S). 1.35 Family Guy (R,S). 2.00 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.30 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 3.00 Pramface (R,S,HD). 3.30 Pramface (R,S,HD).

9.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Sevilla v Levante (kick-off 9.00pm). All the action from the La Liga match at the Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan.

11.45 The Magaluf Weekender (R,HD). Head rep Imogen loses patience with her colleagues.

11.15 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Howard becomes attracted to a woman who falls for Leonard. 11.45 Rude Tube 2012 (R,HD).

11.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With guests Andy Murray and Jason Manford. James Corden hosts.

11.05 Men Behaving Badly 11.00 Irish League Cup Final Dorothy’s nephew comes (HD). Cliftonville v to stay. Comedy, starring Crusaders. Martin Clunes and Neil Morrissey. 11.45 Men Behaving Badly Gary gets rid of his sofa.

12.45 Film: Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies (HD) (2004). Comedy adventure, starring John Cho, Kal Penn and Neil Patrick Harris. ●●● 2.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities. 2.50 Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.50 The Midnight Beast (R,HD). 1.20 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD). 2.20 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.45 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.10 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.40 The Mindy Project (R,HD). 4.00 Glee (R,HD). 4.45 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). Officers question a man wearing two sets of clothing. 1.00 Grudge Match Special (R,S,HD). 1.30 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 2.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 3.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).

12.25 Film: Starsky & Hutch (2004). Two mismatched detectives set out on the trail of the drug dealer peddling a new, undetectable narcotic. Comedy, spoofing the 1970s cop show, with Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg and Juliette Lewis. ●●● 2.15 Men Behaving Badly

BBC4

7.00 Wild China (R,HD). Creatures inhabiting the Yunnan Province. 8.00 Pain, Pus & Poison: The Search for Modern Medicines (R,HD). How scientists exploited the natural world to make medicines. 9.00 The Bridge (HD). A bomber threatens to blow up a chemical plant. 10.00 The Bridge (HD). Saga and Martin realise their reports are being doctored. 11.00 Forever Young – How Rock ‘n’ Roll Grew Up (R). How rock ‘n’ roll stars have coped with growing old. 12.00 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 12.40 Classic Albums (R,HD). 1.40 Wild China (R,HD). 2.40 Pain, Pus & Poison: The Search for Modern Medicines (R,HD).

SATURDAY January 25

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). 1.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 1.30 Live Tour Down Under Cycling (HD). The sixth and final stage of the annual race from Adelaide, Australia. 4.30 Spanish Football (HD). 5.30 Football League Gold (S,HD). 5.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

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TV PICKS

DRAGONS’ DEN 9pm, BBC2

The business ideas contest returns, with Kelly Hoppen, Piers Linney, Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden and Duncan Bannatyne evaluating more pitches.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions (S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15 Wanted Down Under (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Moving On (R,S,HD). 2.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 2.45 Helicopter Heroes (S). 3.15 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.00 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 4.35 Hidden Kingdoms (R,S,HD). 5.35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

CALL THE MIDWIFE 8pm, BBC1

Trixie’s feathers are ruffled when Jenny is promoted, but the new Acting Sister has more to worry about after a mother-to-be reveals the baby she is carrying was not fathered by her husband – and to complicate matters, the real father is black. Jessica Raine, Helen George and Bryony Hannah star.

BBC2

6.00 Film: Hue and Cry (S) (1947). Ealing comedy, starring Alastair Sim. ●●●● 7.20 Countryfile Winter Special (R,S,HD). 8.15 Live Tennis: Australian Open Men’s Final (S,HD). Sue Barker presents coverage of the men’s singles final at Melbourne Park. 12.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (R,S). 1.30 The Big Bread Experiment (R,S). 2.30 Live International Bowls (S,HD). The World Indoor Championships. 5.15 Ski Sunday (S,HD).

MR SELFRIDGE 9pm, ITV

A protest stirs up emotions among the staff, with some asking whether Harry will leave if war breaks out, while Lord Loxley thwarts Lady Mae’s plans to escape to the country.

ITV

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 10.00 Inside the National Trust (S,HD). 11.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.15 Splash! (R,S,HD). 12.45 Film: From Russia with Love (S,HD) (1963). James Bond thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya. ●●●● 3.00 Live FA Cup Football (S,HD). Chelsea v Stoke City (kick-off 3.30pm). 5.50 Regional News (S).

THE MUSKETEERS 9pm, BBC1

Notorious criminal Vadim engineers a fullscale riot from his prison cell, but there is more to his plot than a little trouble-making – which could prove fatal for the king himself. Meanwhile, d’Artagnan tries to prove he has what it take to join the regiment.

Channel 4

6.10 The Hoobs (R,S). 7.00 Snowdonia Marathon (S). 8.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.25 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 2.20 The Simpsons (R,S). 3.20 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.25 Channel 4 News (S). 4.55 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast (R,S,HD). Amanda Holden rustles up a moussaka.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Access. 10.45 The Town the Travellers Took Over (R,S). 11.40 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 12.40 Terror in the Skies: Scariest Flights (R,S,HD). 1.40 Road Terror: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). 2.40 Film: Bewitched (S) (2005). Comedy, with Nicole Kidman. ●● 4.40 Film: Fairytale: A True Story (S) (1997). Fact-based drama, with Florence Hoath. ●●●●

▼ ▼

Harry Brown, 10pm

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). Ellie Harrison and John Craven visit north Pembrokeshire.

7.00 Flog It! (R,S). 9/60. Charlie Ross and Philip Serrell help contestants sell antiques at auction in Tenby, Pembrokeshire. Paul Martin presents.

7.45 All Star Family Fortunes (S,HD). 5/10. Brian McFadden and Diane Parish take part.

6.00 Mirror Mirror (S,HD) (2012). Premiere. A princess is banished to a dark forest after the death of her father, leaving her wicked stepmother to rule over the kingdom. The exiled aristocrat joins forces with a band of rebellious dwarfs to reclaim her father’s throne and stop the evil queen seducing the prince she is in love with. Fantasy, starring Julia Roberts and Armie Hammer. ●●●

6.35 Outbreak (S) (1995). An expert in infectious diseases races against time to find a cure for a rapidly fatal airborne virus which is wiping out the population of a small town, and is threatening to turn into a pandemic. Thriller, with Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey and Donald Sutherland. Edited for language. See Choices Above. ●●●●

▼

after

Unstoppable, 9pm

6.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.15 Dancing on Ice (S,HD). 4/10. Torvill and Dean perform a routine in collaboration with Rebecca Ferguson.

8.00 Call the Midwife (S,HD). 2/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Coffee Trail with Simon Reeve (S,HD). The adventurer examines the coffee industry in Vietnam, meeting some of the millions of people involved in picking, packing and transporting it to the UK.

8.30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off (S,HD). 4/10. The two lowest-scoring celebrities tackle favourite routines from their original series in a bid for survival, and Rebecca Ferguson performs her new single.

8.00 The Jump (S). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.50 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

▼

Dancing on Ice, 6.15pm

6.00 Wild Arabia (R,S,HD). 3/3. The changes that have swept across the Arabian peninsula since the discovery of oil. Last in the series.

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 2/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Dragons’ Den (S,HD). 7/12. See Choices Above.

9.00 Mr Selfridge (S,HD). 2/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Unstoppable (S,HD) (2010). Two train operators must stop a runaway locomotive carrying toxic chemicals before it causes a major disaster. Action thriller, the final film from director Tony Scott, starring Denzel Washington, Chris Pine and Rosario Dawson. ●●●●

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (S,HD). 24/27. Emma Willis presents the last eviction show before Wednesday’s final, announcing the least popular housemate and chatting to them about their time in the house and how they got on with their fellow contestants.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Meet the Fockers (S,HD) (2004). A hapless groom-to-be appears to have finally won the approval of his stern prospective in-laws, but faces a new challenge when he takes them on a vacation to Florida to meet his free-spirited sex therapist mother and eccentric house-husband father. The tension rapidly mounts as the mismatched families struggle to get along. Comedy sequel, starring Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand. ●●●

10.00 Blood Diamond (S,HD) (2006). Smuggler Danny Archer ends up in prison in war-torn Sierra Leone in 1999, where he meets Solomon, a Mende fisherman separated from his family by guerrillas. Danny pledges to help the desperate man rescue his son, who has been forcibly conscripted as a child soldier, in return for a rare pink diamond that Solomon had hidden away before his capture. Action thriller, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou and Jennifer Connelly. See Choices Above. ●●●●

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD). 4/8. The girls become involved with three very different men. 10.45 FA Cup Football Highlights (S,HD). Matt Smith presents action from today’s fourthround matches, which were Sheffield United v Fulham and Chelsea v Stoke City.

10.50 GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra (S,HD) (2009). When a powerful experimental weapon is snatched by a mysterious terrorist organisation, two of the soldiers guarding it are recruited into a top-secret military strike force. As they go in search of the stolen technology, they uncover a plot by its creator to take over the world. Action adventure, with Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller and Christopher Eccleston. ●●●

10.00 Harry Brown (S,HD) (2009). An elderly retired marine leads a law-abiding existence on a south London estate, until his best friend is murdered by a local gang. Crime thriller, starring Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Charlie Creed-Miles, Ben Drew, Iain Glen and Sean Harris. ●●●●

12.15 Weatherview (S). 12.20 BBC News (S,HD).

12.10 Sign Zone: Countryfile Winter Special (R,S). The team explores the countryside during winter, searching for hardy wildlife, revealing how farmers cope and unveiling a sculpture by landscape artist Andy Goldsworthy. 1.10 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Jac fails to support her daughter as she undergoes surgery. 2.10 This Is BBC Two (S).

12.45 The Store 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside, where he invites American guests to air their differences, and dispenses his own judgment on the situation. 3.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

1.05 Mesh: Tourist Trap (R,S). Animated film by Max Crow. 1.10 Night Walking (R,S). 1.15 Film: Day Watch (HD) (2006). Fantasy sequel, starring Konstantin Khabensky. ●●● 3.25 Southland (R,S,HD). 4.10 Enough (R,S). 4.15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.10 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.55 SuperCasino 3.10 My Post-Baby Breakdown: Jennifer Ellison (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

▼

The Coffee Trail with … 8pm

6.00 Fake or Fortune? (S,HD). 2/4. Two paintings that could be by John Constable.

▼

6 7 8 9

Countryfile, 7pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

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11.45 Anglo-Welsh Cup Rugby Union (HD). Highlights from the penultimate round of pool fixtures, including Bath v Cardiff Blues, Exeter Chiefs v Ospreys and Harlequins v Leicester Tigers.

11.55 Autopsy: Anna Nicole Smith’s Last Hours (R,S,HD). 3/3. Forensic pathologist Dr Richard Shepherd investigates the death of the model and actress, who died in February 2007. Last in the series.

THE MAGALUF WEEKENDER 9pm, ITV2

Bedford girls Tish, Lexi and Chloe, plus Essex lads Joey, Steve and Mason check into the Lively Hotel, and both sets of guests quickly have their eyes opened by a raunchy boat party. Meanwhile, one of the inexperienced boys wonders if he will manage to find the love of his life during his holiday.

In the first of a new series, celebrities battle it out in a series of challenging winter sport disciplines and two of them face a live ski jump each night to keep their place in the competition.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Kelly Rowland: The Hot Desk (R,HD). 6.55 Emmerdale (R,HD). 9.15 Coronation Street (R,HD). 11.45 Dinner Date: Australia (R). 12.45 Take Me Out (R,HD). 1.55 Funniest Ever Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R). 2.40 Film: Miss Congeniality (HD) (2000). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.50 Film: Peter Pan (HD) (2003). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

6.00 Switched (R). 6.20 Make It or Break It (R,HD). 7.05 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 12.30 Revenge (R,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 2.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 4.00 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (R,HD). 5.00 Tomorrow People

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power 7.00 Glee (R,S). 9.00 Grudge Match Special 9.30 Jordan & Perriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ultimate Block Party 10.00 WWE Superstars 11.00 WWE: Experience 12.00 Sinbad 1.00 Film: Muppets from Space (S) (1999). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.45 Futurama: Welcome to the World of Tomorrow (R,S). 3.00 Micro Monsters with David Attenborough 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 Futurama 5.00 Ashley Banjoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Town Dance (R,HD).

FILM PICKS

THE JUMP 8pm, Channel 4

BLOOD DIAMOND 10pm, BBC2

OUTBREAK 6.35pm, Channel 5

A smuggler helps a fisherman find his missing son in war-torn Sierra Leone, in return for a rare pink diamond. Action thriller, starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

GOLD

6.00 Jeeves and Wooster 6.50 Jeeves and Wooster 8.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp 8.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp 9.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp 9.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp 10.00 Only Fools and Horses 11.20 Only Fools and Horses 1.20 Only Fools and Horses 2.30 Only Fools and Horses 3.05 Only Fools and Horses 4.30 Only Fools and Horses

An expert in infectious diseases searches for the cure for a lethal airborne virus threatening to turn into a pandemic. Thriller, with Dustin Hoffman.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30 Football Gold (S). 6.45 Football Gold (S). 7.00 Irish League Cup Final (HD). 8.00 Game Changers (HD). 9.00 Spanish Football (HD). 10.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 11.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). 12.30 Live Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 3.00 International One-Day Cricket (HD). 3.55 Live Spanish Football (HD).

Furry Vengeance, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9pm

Only Fools and Horses, 10am

Live Football, 12.30pm

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,HD). Jake is assigned to a minor graffiti case. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Jordan & Perriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ultimate Block Party (S). 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.30 Only Fools and Horses The brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; finances hit an all-time low.

7.00 Despicable Me (HD) (2010). An evil genius adopts three orphans to aid his latest plot, but fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews. Including FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon becomes obsessed with gift-giving etiquette. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Apuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife has octuplets. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Groundskeeper Willie is forced to move in with the family.

7.50 Only Fools and Horses Del is invited to a school reunion. Comedy, starring David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst and Tessa Peake-Jones.

6.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Rayo Vallecano v Atletico Madrid (kick-off 6.00pm). All the action from the La Liga encounter at the Campo de Futbol de Vallecas.

8.00 Furry Vengeance (HD) (2010). A real estate developer struggles to overcome protests against his latest project from a host of woodland creatures. Comedy, with Brendan Fraser. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Friendships are tested when Carl skips town with lottery winnings. 8.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Marge starts chatting to another man over the internet.

8.55 Only Fools and Horses Tempers flare between the Trotter brothers as they fall for the same girl â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and Delâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s efforts to win the romance war leave his future hanging in the balance.

9.00 The Magaluf Weekender (HD). See Choices Above.

9.50 Rude Tube 2012 (R,HD). Alex Zane and his talking computer (voiced by Johnny Vegas) present online videos showcasing a variety of unusual skills and talents, including rapping and dancing grannies.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S,HD). The team crosses paths with a tough Texas Ranger who arrives on the island in search of his missing daughter. Kono and Adamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s security is compromised and Catherine receives a job offer from an old friend.

9.35 Only Fools and Horses Christmas special from 1992. Always one to jump on the latest passing bandwagon, DelBoy goes eco-friendly and decides to create a better world for baby Damien and his generation â&#x20AC;&#x201C; by starting his own bottled water business. Starring David 10.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). Jason, Nicholas Hibernian v Celtic. Lyndhurst, Buster Highlights of the fixture Merryfield and Tessa at Easter Road, as the Peake-Jones. clubs met for the third time this season. 10.30 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest International Teams (HD).

Despicable Me, 7pm

10.00 The Bourne 10.50 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). Psychologist Nate Supremacy (HD) (R,HD). An extended Getz helps Deeks and (2004). The amnesiac edition of the comedy Sam get over their assassin is living quietly panel show, hosted by torture ordeal. The team in hiding, until his Jimmy Carr. Team investigates the killing former employers come captains Sean Lock and of a former admiral who after him again and Jon Richardson are was about to expose war murder his girlfriend. A joined by Jo Brand, Nick crimes in Afghanistan. CIA operation has Helm, Jordan Stephens Chris Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell stars. ended in disaster, and and Louis Walsh. those responsible intend to clear their names by 11.00 Best of Not the Nine 11.40 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Banshee (R,S). Carrie implicating Bourne. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Clock News (R,HD). Sheldon has an encounter with Action thriller sequel, Highlights of the sketch develops a scientific Mr Rabbitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right-hand starring Matt Damon, show. procedure for making man Olek, and Proctor Brian Cox, Joan Allen friends, but must first pays a visit to his 11.35 Harry Enfield and and Julia Stiles. win the trust of fellow estranged family when Chums Kevin the Including FYI Daily. scientist Barry Kripke to his niece Rebecca is Teenager falls ill. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? prove his findings. kicked out of her home. 12.15 Mom (R,HD). Comedy, starring Anna Faris. 12.40 Mom (R,HD). 1.10 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,HD). 1.40 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,HD). 2.05 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed: A-Z (R). 2.55 Teleshopping 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD). Rae is torn between telling the truth and keeping secrets. 1.15 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 1.35 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 2.00 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 2.20 Bobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burgers (R,HD). 2.40 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut (R,HD). 3.25 Hollyoaks (R,HD).

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). Police officers combat vehicle crime. 12.55 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 1.25 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 2.15 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 3.05 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S). 5.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).

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12.15 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer Holiday antics with 1970s pop group Slade on a camping trip, and a special edition of MasterChef. 12.55 Best of Not the Nine Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Clock News 1.20 Harry Enfield and Chums 1.50 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer 2.20 The Green Green Grass

8.00 Live Spanish Football (HD). Barcelona v Malaga (kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage from the Nou Camp, where tonightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s La Liga triple bill concludes.

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth Be with You (R,S). Blunders in Hollywood films. 7.45 The Voice UK (R,S,HD). 9.00 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S). 9.30 Russell Howardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good News (R,S). An edition from 2011. 10.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Meg becomes infatuated with a popular boy at school. 10.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 10.45 Uncle (R,S,HD). 11.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 12.30 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.25 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 1.55 Growing Up Downâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (R,S,HD). 2.55 Pramface (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hidden Histories: Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Oldest Family Businesses (R,HD). 8.00 The Review Show (HD). A preview of an exhibition of work by Martin Creed. 9.00 Storyville: The Big Melt â&#x20AC;&#x201C; How Steel Made Us Hard. Documentary about the city of Sheffield and its steelworks. 10.10 We Are What We Are (HD) (2010). Premiere. Mexican horror, starring Francisco Barreiro. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 11.35 Horror Europa with Mark Gatiss (R,HD). The actor and writer explores the history of European horror cinema. 1.05 Born to Be Wild (R,HD). 2.05 Classic Albums (R). 3.00 Bon Jovi in Concert (R,HD).

SUNDAY January

11.00 NFL â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Football Life (S,HD). A profile of Michael Strahan.

12.00 Live NFL Pro Bowl (HD). Coverage from the Aloha Stadium in Honolulu (Kick-off 12.00am). 3.30 Tour Down Under Cycling (HD). 4.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest International Teams (HD). 4.30 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). Hibernian v Celtic. 5.00 Spanish Football (HD).

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TV PICKS

FOOD & DRINK 8.30pm, BBC2

New series. Michel Roux Jr returns to offer culinary advice and discussion, beginning with a look at how to reduce food waste and save money. With Mary Berry.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 News (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BRITAIN’S GREAT WAR 9pm, BBC1

Jeremy Paxman presents this four-part documentary charting how the First World War affected the lives of the British people and created what is known as modern Britain. The first film focuses on the early stages of the conflict, the announcement of which led to stunned disbelief.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05 Britain and the Sea (R,S). 10.05 Britain’s Empty Homes 10.35 Click 11.00 News 11.30 World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Britain’s First Photo Album (R,S,HD). 1.30 Cash in the Attic (R,S). 2.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S). 3.15 Coast (R,S,HD). 4.15 The Secret Life of Elephants (R,S,HD). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

THE BLETCHLEY CIRCLE 9pm, ITV

Part two of two. With corruption in vice squad, the women realise that catching the gang redhanded is their only option and plot to infiltrate the crime ring. With Sophie Rundle.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). From Northwich in Cheshire. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With actors Christopher Timothy and Mathew Horne. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

THREE WIVES, ONE HUSBAND – MARRIED TO THE MORMONS 10pm, Channel 4

New series. An insight into the Mormon community of Centennial Park, Arizona, where women choose their husbands through an inspiration from God, and men try to prove themselves worthy and wait to be selected.

Channel 4

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S). 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Carolina Moon (S) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Kyle admits to Kate he is confused about his feelings.

Great British Railway … 6.30pm

A Great Welsh Adventure … 8pm

My Daughter the … 10.55pm

Helix, 10pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/22. Homer tells the story of his first love – a girl he kissed at summer camp. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Evelyn tries to help Spencer escape the cult. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 Regional Programme (S,HD). Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 16/20. Michael Portillo embarks on the first leg of a journey from Norwich to Chichester. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 6/12. Transforming the sitting rooms of three Georgian almshouses in Southwark.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Fiz confronts Roy about the circumstances surrounding Hayley’s death.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Go Hard or Go Home (S,HD). Four pub managers from Essex train to take part in a gruelling canoe race. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

Putin’s Games – Panorama, 8.30pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Shirley is nervous about asking her father for money to keep the Vic afloat. 8.30 Putin’s Games – Panorama (S,HD). Allegations of foul play in the financing of the Winter Games in Russia.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD). 27/37. The third of the quarterfinal matches. 8.30 Food & Drink (S,HD). 1/10. See Choices Above.

8.00 A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones (S,HD). 4/8. The funnyman visits Anglesey. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Sophie and Steph tease Tim by picking holes in his story in front of Sally.

8.00 The Jump (S). 2/8. The next six celebrities take on the opening event – the skeleton – and the two slowest contestants face a live ski jump to keep their place in the competition. Continues tomorrow.

8.00 Police Interceptors (S,HD). New series. The return of the documentary following the work of high-speed interception teams, this time with access to the officers of Lincolnshire’s Roads Policing Unit. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Britain’s Great War (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Many Faces of Dick Emery (S,HD). 4/4. A profile of the comedian and actor, whose BBC series The Dick Emery Show ran from 1963 to 1981. Featuring contributions by David Walliams, Charlie Higson and David Baddiel.

9.00 The Bletchley Circle (S,HD). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Benefits Street (S). 4/5. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 25/27. The celebrity contestants continue to live out their lives in front of the cameras, knowing it will all be over in a couple of days.

▼

10.00 The Best of The Sarah Millican Television Programme: Vol 1 (R,S,HD). See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Beverley Callard (R,S,HD). 4/7. The Coronation Street star, who first appeared as Liz McDonald in 1989, looks back on her career and personal life, opening up about her nervous breakdown and four marriages.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Have I Got Old News for You (R,S,HD). 3/9. Actor Warwick Davis chairs this edition of the news quiz from April 2013, which sees Paul Merton and Ian Hislop joined by broadcaster Gyles Brandreth and comedian Joe Wilkinson. 11.20 BBC News: The Editors (S,HD). 11.50 The Graham Norton Show (R,S,HD). 14/21. With Keira Knightley, Kenneth Branagh, Thierry Henry, Lee Mack and Katy B.

11.20 Russia on Four Wheels (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Justin Rowlatt spends time with bear hunters and visits Russia’s biggest arms fair.

11.35 The Unforgettable Sid James (R,S). Profile of the Carry On star, whose cheeky on-screen persona was at odds with his reputation within the industry as a consummate professional, perfectionist and gentleman.

12.35 Weatherview (S). 12.40 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: Film 2014 (R,S). Claudia Winkleman, Danny Leigh and guest Antonia Quirke review the Coen brothers’ folk music drama Inside Llewyn Davis and Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. 12.50 Sign Zone: Trust Me I’m a Doctor (R,S). 1.50 This Is BBC Two. (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD).Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

▼

after

10.00 Three Wives, One Husband – Married to the Mormons (S). 1/3. See Choices Above. 10.55 My Daughter the Teenage Nudist (R,S,HD). Documentary following Mollie and Alex, who are part of a growing band of teenagers and twentysomethings who embrace the concept of public nudity away from designated places. Their aim is to normalise naturism and question the media’s apparent obsession with perfect bodies.

10.00 Helix (S,HD). 3/13. See Choices Above.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 The 2014 56th Annual Grammy Awards (S). 1.35 Random Acts (R,S,HD). 1.40 Hostages (R,S,HD). 2.25 World Without End (R,S,HD). 3.25 Random Acts (R,S,HD). 3.30 Finding Mum and Dad (R,S,HD). 4.25 The Three Day Nanny (R,S,HD). 5.20 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 Botched Up Bodies (R,S,HD). A man left scarred and still bald after six attempted hair transplants. Last in the series. 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 Autopsy: Anna Nicole Smith’s Last Hours (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

bristol@stablepizza.com | www.stablepizza.com Canon’s Road, Harbourside, Bristol, BS1 5UH 0117 927 9999

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). 17/19. Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-the-scenes insights.

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CAROLINA MOON 3.15pm, Channel 5

A woman returns to her home town, where she discovers that the killer of her childhood friend is still terrorising the community, and embarks on a mission to track him down before he claims another life. Romantic mystery, starring Claire Forlani and Oliver Hudson. Edited for daytime broadcast.

Documentary following the lives of people who are heavily reliant on welfare payments, revealing the daily challenges they face, such as poverty, illiteracy, and drug and alcohol problems.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,HD). 7.25 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County (HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD).

E4 6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 7.10 Charmed (R). 8.00 Glee (R,HD). 9.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 The Jump. 4.30 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 6.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 7.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S) 4.00 Futurama 4.30 Futurama 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

BENEFITS STREET 9pm, Channel 4

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN 10pm, Sky1

HARRY HILLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TV BURP 8pm, GOLD

Andy Murray and Jason Manford join Jamie Redknapp, Andrew Flintoff, John Bishop and Georgie Thompson on the quiz.

GOLD

The quirky comic takes a characteristically surreal look at the action in wildlife documentary Lemur Island.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 To the Manor Born 6.30 As Time Goes By 7.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 2point4 Children 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Open All Hours. 12.30 Open All Hours. 1.10 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.25 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Spanish Football (HD). 11.00 Irish League Cup Final (HD). 12.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 12.30 The Fantasy Football Club (S,HD). 1.00 Spanish Football (HD). 3.00 Irish League Cup Final (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (S,HD). 4.30 Game Changers (HD). 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD).

The Job Lot, 10pm

Revenge, 9pm

Stella, 9pm

Not Going Out, 9pm

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Lauren from Newcastle goes on three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Howard tries to win back Bernadette. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Marge is forced to replace the family car.

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. 6.40 Open All Hours. Arkwright opens the shop before dawn.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R). 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R). A Gordon Brown lookalike gets hammered.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Sandy becomes suspicious about Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prolonged absence. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Grampa inherits $100,000. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer becomes a missionary.

7.20 Open All Hours. Arkwright is reluctant to buy a new suit, until Nurse Gladys Emmanuel gives him an incentive.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Judith moves in with the guys. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Alan tries to cut ties with Evelyn.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,HD). Jake is assigned to a minor graffiti case. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). Max applies to a pastry school in Manhattan.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). The family attends a barbecue at Gloria and Jayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). The first day of school arrives.

8.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. See Choices Above. 8.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. A quirky review of The Real Extras and Freaky Eaters.

6.30 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches, featuring all the goals from the Championship, League One and League Two. 7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Scunthorpe United v Fleetwood Town (kickoff 7.45pm). Coverage of the League Two match at Glanford Park, between two clubs with promotion aspirations. The Iron have enjoyed an outstanding run in recent weeks, which saw them move to the top of a closely fought division, with the visitors among those also in the hunt for a top-three place.

9.00 Mom. Christy goes on her first date since she gave up alcohol. 9.30 Dads (HD). New series. Comedy about two successful video games developers whose lives change when their fathers move in with them.

9.00 Revenge (HD). Emily investigates how her plan failed, and must rely on an unlikely source for answers. Meanwhile, Victoria makes a bold move in order to secure her independence.

9.00 Stella (R,HD). Comedy drama, with Ruth Jones. Stella decides to focus on work and family â&#x20AC;&#x201C; although a handsome lawyer proves distracting. Aunty Brendaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wayward daughter returns.

9.00 Not Going Out. First episode of the sitcom about mismatched flatmates, starring Lee Mack and Megan Dodds. 9.40 Not Going Out. A death in the family brings Tim and Kate closer.

10.00 The Job Lot (R,HD). 10.00 What Happens in Trish holds an armed Kavos (R,HD). The forces recruitment day. documentary follows young tourists 10.30 Plebs (R,HD). Cynthiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experiencing their first charming new gladiator holiday without their boyfriend Cassius parents, including a impresses everyone group of girls aiming to except jealous Marcus. make their trip X-rated. Comedy, starring Tom Last in the series. Rosenthal.

10.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.20 Not Going Out. Lee 10.00 The Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; clashes with a youth Football Show (HD). when he gets a job Dave Jones is joined by distributing leaflets in a guests including shopping centre, and is footballers, managers persuaded to pretend to and club chairmen to be Tim in front of Kateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s discuss all the major Australian friend Ruth, stories in the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s who has landed on their football news. doorstep.

11.00 Fake Reaction (R,HD). With Mikey North, Kirk Norcross, Laura Whitmore and Tom Deacon. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R,HD).

11.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon looks for a way out of his relationship.

11.00 The League of 11.00 Banshee (R,S). Carrie Gentlemen. A hiker flees the hospital in a visits Royston Vasey. desperate attempt to collect her family and 11.40 Men Behaving Badly. leave Banshee before Mr Deborah makes a Rabbit gets to her, while shocking Hood reaches out to announcement. Proctor for help.

11.00 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches, featuring all the goals from the Championship, League One and League Two.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Evelyn tries to undermine Jakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s confidence, but when Alan tries to cut her out of their lives she resorts to emotional blackmail to regain their attention. 12.45 Take Me Out (R,HD). 1.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 2.30 Teleshopping.

12.00 The Tomorrow People (R,HD). 1.00 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (R,HD). 1.55 What Happens in Kavos (R,HD). 2.45 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.10 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.35 Glee (R,HD). 4.15 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 5.00 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 Spartacus: Vengeance (R,S,HD). The gladiator rallies his troops. Last in the series. 1.15 Mad Dogs (R,S,HD). 2.10 Road Wars (R,S). 3.05 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). A review of the latest round of fixtures from the Scottish top flight. 12.30 Football Gold (S,HD). Liverpool v Chelsea. Action from the 1997/98 Premiership clash at Anfield. 12.45 Football Gold (S). 12.55 Live International OneDay Cricket (HD).

12.20 Not Going Out 1.00 Not Going Out 1.30 Not Going Out. Lee pretends to be Tim in front of Kateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Australian friend Ruth and gets a job in a shopping centre distributing leaflets. Comedy, starring Lee Mack and Tim Vine. 2.00 The League of Gentlemen. 2.30 Men Behaving Badly.

BBC3

7.00 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell the Bride (R,S). 8.00 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S). 8.30 Would I Lie to You? (R,S). With Jimmy Carr, Griff Rhys Jones, Dave Myers and Susanna Reid. 9.00 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). Andy Parsons hosts the standup show. 9.30 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). Sarah Millican hosts, with Russell Kane and Steve Hughes. 10.00 Uncle (S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Uncle (R,S,HD). 1.00 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 1.30 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). 2.00 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 2.30 Pramface (R,S,HD). 3.00 Pramface (R,S,HD). 3.30 Uncle (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Elephant Diaries 8.00 King Alfred and the AngloSaxons (R,HD). The role of Alfred the Greatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daughter Aethelflaed in Englandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s battles. 9.00 Around the World in 60 Minutes (R). Circumnavigating Earth from an altitude of 200 miles. 10.00 Remembering the Holocaust â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Defiant Requiem (HD). 11.20 Hidden Histories: Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Oldest Family Businesses (R,HD). The work of an established regalia company. 12.20 King Alfred and the Anglo-Saxons (R,HD). 1.20 Around the World in 60 Minutes (R). 2.20 Remembering the Holocaust â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Defiant Requiem (R).

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TV PICKS

DEATH IN PARADISE 9pm, BBC1

Humphrey and the team investigate the shooting of Fidelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s old friend, who had been working as an escort and had left several disgruntled women in his wake.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Sheriffs Are Coming (HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Doctors (HD). 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

CELEBRITY WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? 8pm, ITV

Chris Tarrant hosts the first of two specials bringing the quiz to a close. Aiming to raise as much cash as possible for their chosen charities and one lucky viewer are Russell Kane and Gloria Hunniford, Adrian Chiles with Frank Skinner, and Alexandra Burke with David Emanuel.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S). 10.05 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Empty Homes (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First Photo Album (R,S,HD). 1.30 Cash in the Attic (R,S). 2.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S). 3.15 Coast (R,S,HD). 4.15 The Secret Life of Elephants (R,S,HD). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

CHILDRENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EMERGENCY RESCUE 8pm, BBC2

Following medics caring for children as they are transported to specialist centres around the country. A teenager is flown from Leeds to London for a heart transplant.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). From Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With guests Martin Shaw and Les Dennis. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

THE ZOO NEXT DOOR 10.35pm, BBC1

One-off documentary visiting homes overrun by dogs, cats and other, more surprising, pets. Jasmine Harman visits homes overrun by pets, and is joined by animal welfare experts to see what changes need to be made. But as she soon discovers, some people wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have things any other way.

Channel 4

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Sarah Beenyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Deadly Honeymoon (S) (2010). Mystery, starring Zoe McLellan and Summer Glau. Edited for daytime broadcast. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Georgia takes a pregnancy test.

The Great Interior Design â&#x20AC;Ś 7pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

The Taste, 9pm

Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun, 8pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/22. The family is sent to Alcatraz. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Sandy becomes suspicious about Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prolonged absence.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Spencer collapses as he tries to escape from the lodge. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Shirley gives her family an unexpected ultimatum. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 112/140. Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 17/20. Michael Portillo travels from Ipswich to Chelmsford. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 7/12. Revamping sitting rooms in semi-detached 1930s properties.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Hour-long episode. Cain tries to coerce a confession out of Charity.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 1/10. Work of RSPCA officers. 7.30 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). An injured walker on Arran is at risk of hypothermia. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Holby City, 8pm

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 16/52. Jac is still unable to bond with her baby after three weeks, a new registrar is keen to make his mark and a 2,000-year-old Egyptian mummy helps Sacha inspire his junior doctors.

8.00 Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Emergency Rescue (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

8.00 Celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 The Jump (S). 3/8. Coached by former Olympic skier Graham Bell, the remaining celebrity contestants take on the giant slalom, each hoping to clock the fastest time down the course. Continues tomorrow.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (S,HD). Eric Shaw tries to retrieve GPS collars being used to track the movements of the Rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s monkeys, while a huge bale of drugs washes up on the beach. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Death in Paradise (S,HD). 3/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 Inside the Animal Mind (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Chris Packham explores animalsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; intelligence, emotions and selfawareness to uncover the secrets of their abilities, beginning by focusing on how they use their senses.

9.00 Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Gradyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animal Orphans (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Taste (S,HD). 4/10. The remaining cooks prepare dishes for guest chef Yotam Ottolenghi, before serving Nigella Lawson, Anthony Bourdain and Ludo Lefebvre the spiciest spoonfuls they can muster, with eye-watering results.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 26/27. The last chance to catch up with the famous contestantsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; antics before the final, when the viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; favourite housemate will be revealed. Narrated by Marcus Bentley.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 House of Fools (S,HD). 3/6. Bosh asks Vic, Bob, Julie and Beef to help convince his probation officer that he has finally become an upstanding member of society. Guest starring Nikki Amuka-Bird. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Eric Bristow: Sports Life Stories (S,HD). 6/8. A profile of the former darts player who won the World Championship five times in the 1980s, and after retirement appeared on the 2012 series of Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

10.00 Benefits Street (R,S). 4/5. Documentary following the lives of people who are heavily reliant on welfare payments, revealing the daily challenges they face in tough economic times.

10.00 Botched Up Bodies (R,S,HD). 2/4. A woman who was fitted with breast implants too large for her frame and a man who had a procedure in Poland that left him with a crooked, bumpy nose.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Zoo Next Door (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.35 Little Voice (S,HD) (1998). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.20 The Tea Trail with Simon Reeve (R,S,HD). The adventurer examines the tea industry in eastern Africa.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). The Tasmanian devils give birth.

11.00 The Undateables (R,S,HD). 3/4. A catch-up with memorable daters from previous editions.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bit on the Side (HD). 18/19. Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, featuring profiles of the finalists, gossip, chat and features from the house.

1.10 Weatherview (S). 1.15 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: The Midwives (R,S). Staff on the delivery unit of Birmingham Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hospital look after high-risk mothers-to-be. Antoinette specialises in dealing with multiple pregnancies and prepares the operating theatre for Aman, who is having triplets and scheduled to undergo a Caesarean section. Last in the series. 1.20 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone

12.05 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 Loose Women (R,S,HD). 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Poker (S). 1.05 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.30 Trans World Sport (R,S). 2.30 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind (R,S). 2.35 Snowdonia Marathon (R,S). 3.30 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind (R,S). 3.35 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). 4.35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 Hens Behaving Badly (R,S,HD). A bride-to-be parties in Newcastle before emigrating to Australia. Last in the series. 1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Hens Behaving Badly (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

â&#x2013;ź

after

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ROSS KEMP: EXTREME WORLD 9pm, Sky1

The comedian bottle-feeds a giraffe calf, meets a warthog that is about to be released into the wild, preens a vulture chick and visits Kafue National Park. Last in the series.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.45 Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (HD). 9.30 Real Housewives of Atlanta (R). 10.30 Real Housewives of Orange County (HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 4.10 Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (HD).

Ross Kemp and his team visit Papua New Guinea. Beginning his journey in the capital, Port Moresby, where gangs control the streets, the actor soon realises that life is dictated by tribal custom. But when he travels into the highlands, Ross finds himself held at gunpoint by hijackers.

E4 6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 7.10 Charmed (R). 8.00 Glee (R,HD). 9.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (HD). 11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 The Jump (R). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 6.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 7.00 All Aboard (R,S). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five0 (HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). 4.00 Futurama 4.30 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

PAUL O’GRADY’S ANIMAL ORPHANS 9pm, ITV

LITTLE VOICE 11.35pm, BBC1

THE ADDAMS FAMILY 8pm, E4

A shy woman with a talent for impersonating famous performers is exploited by a greedy promoter. Drama, with Jane Horrocks and Michael Caine.

GOLD 6.10 2point4 Children 6.45 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 2point4 Children 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.55 Open All Hours 12.35 Open All Hours 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.15 To the Manor Born 2.55 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd and Christina Ricci.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Live International One-Day Cricket (HD). 9.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 10.00 Footballers’ Football Show (HD). 11.00 FL72 Review. 12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 1.30 The Footballers’ Football Show (HD). 2.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 3.00 FL72 Review. 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). 5.00 The Footballers’ Football Show (HD).

Die Another Day, 9pm

8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut, 11pm

Ross Kemp: Extreme … 9pm

The Vicar of Dibley, 9pm

Live Cricket, 6am

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). David from Essex picks three blind dates. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Luke and Manny prepare for the school dance. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. 6.40 Open All Hours. Arkwright decides to expand his empire.

6.00 Football Asia (S). Soccer news from the Far East. 6.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). A dive-bombing baptism and a dog that eats gas bills. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Fraser orders Freddie to stop Sandy discovering the truth about Joe’s fate. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Ned Flanders and Mrs Krabappel embark on a whirlwind romance.

7.20 Open All Hours. Arkwright loses his trousers on the way to the wedding of Nurse Gladys Emmanuel’s niece.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Charlie persuades Alan to visit Las Vegas with him. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Judith goes on holiday.

8.00 The Addams Family (HD) (1991). Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a longlost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy, starring Anjelica Huston and Raul Julia. See Choices Above. ●●●●

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). The team crosses paths with a tough Texas Ranger who arrives on the island in search of his missing daughter.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A quirky review of Marbella Belles. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Quirky TV review.

7.00 Football Gold (S). 7.15 Football Gold (S). Liverpool v Chelsea from 1997/98. 7.30 Soccer Special (S,HD). Julian Warren introduces pre-match reports and news of all tonight’s goals as they go in, while studio guests keep an eye on the big games and talking points. Plus, a classified results roundup from all of this evening’s fixtures.

9.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme 9.00 Die Another Day (HD) 9.00 The Vicar of Dibley. World (S,HD). See (2002). James Bond is The villagers of Dibley Choices Above. suspended from duty discover their new vicar is after being taken a woman. Gary Waldhorn, hostage in North Korea, James Fleet and Emma but goes against orders Chambers co-star. to track down those who 9.40 The Vicar of Dibley. betrayed him. During The Songs of Praise crew the pursuit of the visits the village. terrorist he was investigating before his 10.20 The Vicar of Dibley. 10.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles capture, he discovers a Geraldine is keen to find (R,S,HD). Psychologist Extended highlights (R,HD). Alex Zane connection with a British a celebrity to open the Nate Getz helps Deeks from the Premier presents a selection of billionaire who has autumn fair in style – and Sam get over their League, allowing viewers the internet’s funniest constructed a and Alice lets slip that torture ordeal. The team to access the latest round animal clips, including devastating orbital she knows the ideal investigates the killing of top-flight fixtures, footage of the ultimate weapon. Spy adventure, candidate. With a guest of a former admiral who including Manchester dog tease, not-so-cuddly starring Pierce Brosnan, appearance by Kylie was about to expose war United v Cardiff City. koalas, killer cats and a Halle Berry, Toby Minogue. crimes in Afghanistan. ruthless honey badger. Stephens, Judi Dench and John Cleese. ●● 11.00 The League of 11.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 11.00 A League of Their 11.45 Two and a Half Men 11.30 Football Special (HD). Gentlemen. (R,HD). With Andrew Own (R,S). England (R,HD). Charlie Extended highlights Flintoff, Lorraine Kelly, midfielder Frank persuades Alan to visit 11.40 The League of from the Premier Josh Widdicombe and Lampard and TV Las Vegas with him, but Gentlemen. Mr League. Rob Beckett. presenter Gabby Logan things take a turn for Chinnery has an accident take part in the sportsthe worse and they end 11.50 The Big Bang Theory with a tortoise. based comedy quiz, up staying at home. (R,HD). hosted by James Corden. 12.15 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). 12.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,HD). 1.15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,HD). Including the most swords swallowed at the same time. 1.40 Ladette to Lady: Australia (R). 2.30 Teleshopping. Home shopping.

12.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.50 Revenge (R,HD). 1.50 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo (R,HD). 2.40 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut (R,HD). 3.20 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.45 Glee (R,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,HD). The responsibilities of editorship begin to overwhelm Betty.

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). Officers question a man wearing two sets of clothing. 1.00 Night Cops (R,S). 2.00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Vicar of Dibley. First episode of Richard Curtis’s comedy. The villagers of Dibley discover their new vicar is a woman – and stuffy councillor David Horton vows to have her ejected at all costs. 1.00 The Vicar of Dibley 1.30 The Vicar of Dibley 2.00 The League of Gentlemen

1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.30 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Football Asia (S). 4.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 5.00 Football League Gold (S,HD). 5.45 Football League Gold (S,HD). Millwall v Scunthorpe United in the 2009 League One play-off final.

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). The trio create a street circuit in Spain. 8.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). Meryl risks losing her job. 9.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (S,HD). A rugby-playing student and a builder head to Koh Phangan. 10.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). The teachers take their pupils on field trips. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.30 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 2.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Nature’s Microworlds (R). Exploring ecosystems around the world, beginning with the Galapagos Islands. 8.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). 9.00 Rococo: Travel, Pleasure, Madness (HD). 10.00 Wild China (R,HD). Creatures inhabiting the Yunnan Province. 11.00 Explosions: How We Shook the World (R). The history of explosives. 12.00 Pain, Pus & Poison: The Search for Modern Medicines (R,HD). 1.00 Heart vs Mind: What Makes Us Human? (R,HD). 2.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). 3.00 Rococo: Travel, Pleasure, Madness (R).

TUESDAY January 28 ��’� ��

Bristol Times �� ’� ��

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TV PICKS

THE RESTAURANT MAN 8pm, BBC2

OUTNUMBERED 9pm, BBC1

New series. Return of the domestic comedy. Sue is worried about Karen, who is having trouble fitting in with her new classmates, but the concerned mum’s attempts to settle the matter via e-mail backfire in spectacular fashion. Hugh Dennis and Claire Skinner star as the exasperated parents.

Russell Norman helps first-time restaurateurs during the crucial few months before and after they open for business.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.00 Antiques Roadshow 10.00 Rip Off Food 10.30 See Hear 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00 Britain’s First Photo Album 1.30 Cash in the Attic 2.15 The Great British Bake Off 3.15 Coast 4.10 The Secret Life of Elephants 5.10 Flog It! 5.55 Party Political Broadcast (S,HD).

MIDSOMER MURDERS 8pm, ITV

When a farmer is discovered bound to a tree, doused in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar, the investigation leads Barnaby to a tyrannical celebrity chef.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With singer Michael Bolton. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). From Caernarfon, north Wales. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With Neil Dudgeon and Zoe Lucker. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

HORIZON: SUGAR V FAT 9pm, BBC2

Doctors Chris and Xand van Tulleken go on month-long diets comprising high volumes of fat or sugar to find out which is worse for the human body. The effects on their health are both shocking and surprising, but they also discover their biggest enemy may have been hiding in plain sight.

Channel 4

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 12.00 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me 12.35 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). A former marine falls to his death. 3.15 Film: Fatal Trust (S,HD) (2006). Crime drama, with Amy Jo Johnson and David Haydn-Jones. Edited for daytime broadcast. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). April’s father makes her an offer. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Victoria confronts Val over the affair. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Roy struggles to keep his emotions in check as he prepares for Hayley’s funeral.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 21 and 3ft Tall: Extraordinary People (R,S,HD). A man who has primordial dwarfism. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 The Jump (S). 4/8. The celebrities are paired with professionals in the two-man bobsleigh, and the slowest contestants face a live ski jump to keep their place in the competition. Continues tomorrow.

8.00 Ultimate Emergency Bikers (S,HD). New series. The return of the documentary following paramedic and police motorcyclists. PC Martin Smith joins in the pursuit of a van driving at high speed. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 4/8. A 56-year-old man is put on life support following a cardiac arrest, a nightclub host realises his lifestyle is taking its toll and a schoolgirl is rushed in after a road accident.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final (S,HD). 27/27. See Choices Above.

10.00 Turtle Boy (R,S). The story of a Colombian boy with a congenital melanocytic nevus, a mole that grew so much it covered 40 per cent of his body. It resembled a shell, and the prejudice it provoked meant his family had to live apart from the rest of the village.

10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). 19/19. Rylan Clark and his guests discuss tonight’s final, inviting Emma Willis, the audience and celebrity panellists to discuss whether the public made the right decision, and chat to the new champion, the runners-up and previous evictees. Last in the series.

▼

21 and 3ft Tall … 7pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 22/22. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Fraser orders Freddie to stop Sandy discovering the truth about Joe’s fate.

▼

Strictly Baby Disco, 11pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Political Broadcast (R,S). By the Labour Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

▼

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 113/140. Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 18/20. Michael Portillo travels through Essex and Kent. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 8/12. Revamping the living rooms of three Regency homes in Brighton.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

8.00 Waterloo Road (S,HD). 14/20. Lenny suspects a local shop is a cover for criminal activity and enlists Darren to hold a stakeout, while George is caught offguard when his meddling mother turns up unexpectedly. Wendy Craig guest stars.

8.00 The Restaurant Man (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Outnumbered (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above. 9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD). 1/6. The family awaits the fruits of its fraud.

9.00 Horizon: Sugar v Fat (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents action from the midweek Premier League fixtures, including Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester City at White Hart Lane and Chelsea v West Ham United at Stamford Bridge. Spurs were aiming to avenge a 6-0 thrashing in December’s reverse fixture against the Citizens, while the Blues were expected to complete a double over their London rivals.

10.00 Mock the Week – Again (R,S). 1/12. Dara O Briain hosts an edition of the comedy quiz from June 2011, with Milton Jones, Seann Walsh, Chris Addison, Greg Davies, Hugh Dennis and Andy Parsons. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather. 11.20 Inside the Animal Mind (R,S,HD). 1/3. Chris Packham explores animals’ intelligence, emotions and self-awareness to uncover the secrets of their abilities, beginning by focusing on how they use their senses.

11.40 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands (R,S,HD). 3/8. A couple celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary on the island.

11.00 Strictly Baby Disco (R,S,HD). The world of children’s freestyle disco, following three nine-year-old girls as they train to be crowned Disco Kid at the Blackpool Tower ballroom.

12.05 Film 2014 (S,HD). Reviews of crime thriller Out of the Furnace, starring Christian Bale, Zak Efron comedy That Awkward Moment, and Mark Wahlberg in Afghanistan war drama Lone Survivor. 12.35 Weatherview (S). 12.40 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD). The work of the British Deaf History Society. With voiceover. 12.50 Sign Zone: James May’s Toy Stories: The Motorcycle Diary (R,S). Building a motorbike and sidecar entirely out of Meccano. 1.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes from BBC Two. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: Columbo: Sex and the Married Detective (S) (1989). A therapist murders her lover and frames her assistant for the crime, but the shabby sleuth is not convinced by the ruse. Detective drama, with Peter Falk and Lindsay Crouse. ●●● 4.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

12.00 Random Acts 12.05 Music on 4: Launched at Red Bull Studios 12.35 What Happens in Sunny Beach (R,S). 1.30 Mesh: The Wrong Turn 1.35 Film: Ask the Dust (2006). See Choices Above. ●● 3.30 Southland 4.15 This Is J03 4.20 A Guide to Taking a Photo 4.25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.20 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.25 SuperScrimpers 5.30 Deal or No Deal

▼

10 11

Mock the Week – Again, 10pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Political Broadcast (R,S,HD). By the Labour Party.

▼

6 7 8 9

The One Show, 7pm

▼

after

8.00 Midsomer Murders (S,HD). 3/5. When wealthy farmer Martin Strickland is discovered bound to a tree, doused in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar, the investigation leads DCI Barnaby to tyrannical celebrity chef Ruth Cameron at the upmarket Wyvern House restaurant. However, secrets from the past surface after the murderer strikes again, and the repercussions are felt further than they were originally intended. With Neil Dudgeon, Neil McCaul, Sharon Small and Marc Elliott. See Choices Above. 10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show (R,S,HD). 4/10. The host welcomes another batch of celebrity guests to his famous green room, including leading lights from TV and film, before subjecting them to a no-holdsbarred bout of questioning.

12.00 The Big Game (S,HD). 1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Botched Up Bodies (R,S,HD). A man left scarred and still bald after six attempted hair transplants. Last in the series. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

“I think TM is the best thing I’ve done in my life … for calm and clarity and my blood-pressure!” Martin Savickas “All my road rage is gone!” Karen Savickas

For an introductory talk at the Bristol

TM Centre…

Call Patrice Gladwin on 0117 914 7127 uk.tm.org

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After three-and-a-half weeks of nominations, tasks and evictions, the moment has arrived as Emma Willis whittles down the finalists and announces the winner. Last in the series.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

Downton Abbey star Elizabeth McGovern, Simpsons voiceover man and Spinal Tap legend Harry Shearer and Sky News presenter Kay Burley appear on the homemade family chat show. Hosted by Sanjeev Bhaskar, with Meera Syal and Vincent Ebrahim.

E4 6.00 Switched 6.25 Ugly Betty 7.10 Charmed 8.00 Glee (R,HD). 9.00 Rules of Engagement (R). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 The Jump (R). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 7.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Football’s Funniest Moments 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

CARS 2 8.20pm, BBC3

ASK THE DUST 1.35am, Channel 4

Racing car Lightning McQueen gets mixed up in espionage while competing in an international grand prix. Animation, with the voice of Owen Wilson.

GOLD

A Mexican immigrant in Depression-era America dreams of marrying a wealthy man, but falls instead for a budding writer. Romantic drama, starring Salma Hayek.

Sky Sports 1

6.10 2point4 Children 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 2point4 Children 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Open All Hours 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.55 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (S,HD). 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (S,HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 12.00 Football Special (HD). 1.30 Football Special (HD). 3.00 Football Special (HD). 4.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 5.00 International Twenty20 Cricket (HD).

Fake Reaction, 11pm

The Inbetweeners, 11pm

Ashley Banjo’s Big … 8pm

Blackadder II, 9pm

Women’s Cricket, 6pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Ken from Worcester looks for love. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Penny’s dad pays a visit.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Mitchell wonders whether he fathered a child. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine 6.40 Open All Hours. Arkwright invents a saint’s day.

6.00 Women’s International Twenty20 Cricket (HD). Australia v England.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Featuring a cat with an unusual way of descending stairs. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Freddie takes action to ensure Joe’s fate remains a secret. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Bart buys a rare comic. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Santa’s Little Helper disappears.

7.20 Open All Hours. Arkwright’s regular customers are upset by his habit of continually dragging Granville around by the ear.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Charlie injures his back. Starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T Jones. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Charlie and Alan pretend to be a couple.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory: It All Started with a Big Bang (R,HD). 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). A wealthy benefactor makes an indecent proposal to Leonard.

8.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance (HD). Stockton’s leisure and entertainment workers prove to be the best dancers yet.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The quirky comic takes a characteristically surreal look at soap sagas, celebrities and media gossip. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic view of television.

7.00 Football Gold (S). Liverpool v Arsenal from the 2008/09 season. 7.15 Football Gold (S). 7.30 Soccer Special (S,HD). Julian Warren introduces pre-match reports and news of all tonight’s goals as they go in, while studio guests keep an eye on the big games and talking points. Plus, a classified results roundup from all of this evening’s fixtures.

9.00 Benidorm (R,HD). Following the stag do, best man Martin wakes up in bed with Bianca – who reveals her true age – while Kenneth has a crisis at the salon and Joyce sets up a volleyball court.

9.00 The Tomorrow People (HD). Stephen asks for John’s help when the man at the top of Ultra’s most-wanted list, a ruthless killer named Killian McCrane, resurfaces after years in hiding.

9.00 The Kumars (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Blackadder II. Edmund takes in a young lad as his manservant. 9.40 Blackadder the Third. The new prime minister plots to bankrupt the Prince Regent. Rowan Atkinson, Hugh Laurie and Tony Robinson star.

10.20 Blackadder Goes 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 Forth. Field Marshal (R,S). Karl Pilkington Haig plans a new visits destinations on his offensive against the ‘bucket list’, trying new Germans, and Capt experiences including Blackadder develops a swimming with dolphins keen interest in art to and driving along avoid the bloodshed. America’s renowned Classic comedy, starring Route 66. Rowan Atkinson.

10.00 The Magaluf Weekender (R,HD). A trio of girls from Bedford and three lads from Essex check into the Lively Hotel, and both sets of guests quickly have their eyes opened by a raunchy boat party.

10.00 Rude Tube 2012 (R,HD). Alex Zane presents 50 internet videos on the theme of failure, featuring spelling bees, crashed Lamborghinis, the world’s worst bedroom band and a skateboard disaster.

11.00 Fake Reaction (R,HD). With Mikey North, Kirk Norcross, Laura Whitmore and Tom Deacon. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R,HD).

11.00 The League of 11.00 The Inbetweeners (R). 11.00 A League of Their Gentlemen. A theatre Simon tries to impress a Own (R,S). With Jack company visit the local girl. Comedy, with Joe Whitehall and Rory school. Thomas and Simon Bird. McIlroy. Hosted by James Corden. 11.40 Men Behaving Badly. 11.35 The Midnight Beast Gary and Dorothy take a (R,HD). The trio organise weekend break. a birthday party.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). 12.50 The Magaluf Weekender (R,HD). New sets of guests attend a raunchy boat party. 1.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). The host takes his successful talk show stateside, where he invites American guests to air their differences. 2.30 Teleshopping

12.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Penny’s dad pays a visit. 1.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,HD). 1.35 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). 2.00 The IT Crowd (R). 2.30 The IT Crowd (R,HD). 2.55 Rude Tube 2012 (R,HD). 3.45 Glee (R,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Lee Mack, Frank Lampard and Gabby Logan. 1.00 Night Cops (R,S). 2.00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response (R,S). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 4.30 Luton Airport. 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 Blackadder II. Edmund Blackadder, conniving courtier to Elizabeth I, takes in a spirited young boy as his manservant – unaware the lad is not quite what he seems. 1.00 Blackadder the Third 1.30 Blackadder Goes Forth 2.00 The League of Gentlemen 2.30 Men Behaving Badly

10.00 Football Special (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League, allowing viewers to access the latest round of top-flight fixtures, including Aston Villa v West Bromwich Albion, Chelsea v West Ham United and Sunderland v Stoke City.

BBC3

7.00 Winter Wipeout (R,S). A magician is among competitors tackling the winter-themed course. 8.00 Great Movie Mistakes (R,S). Blunders in Hollywood films. 8.20 Cars 2 (S,HD) (2011). See Choices Above. ●●● 10.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). A rugbyplaying student and a builder head to Koh Phangan. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 1.00 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 1.30 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 3.00 Knight Club (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Nature’s Microworlds (R). 8.00 Grammar Schools: A Secret History. Part two of two. The stories behind some of Britain’s most successful schools. 9.00 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses (HD). The work of a family that has been building for more than 400 years. Last in the series. 10.00 Treasures of Ancient Egypt (R,HD). 11.00 Remembering the Holocaust – Defiant Requiem (R,HD). 12.20 Beautiful Thing: A Passion for Porcelain (R,HD). 1.20 Grammar Schools: A Secret History (R). 2.20 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses (R).

WEDNESDAY January 29 ��’� ��

12.00 Football Special (HD). 2.00 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). A quarterfinal second-leg match from Spain’s domestic knockout competition, which was won by Atletico Madrid last season. 5.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). A Copa Del Rey quarter-final second-leg match.

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TV PICKS

SILENT WITNESS 9pm, BBC1

BIRDS OF A FEATHER 8.30pm, ITV

Jack is taken off a murder case when he turns out to have a personal connection to the prime suspect â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but he finds it hard to keep away from the investigation.

Tracey has Botox injections and Travis gets a tattoo, but how will his mum react? Meanwhile, it looks as if Sharon might need a hearing aid. Sitcom, starring Pauline Quirke, Linda Robson, Lesley Joseph, Charlie Quirke, Matt Willis, Camilla Marie Beeput, Bethany Attrup and Gareth Tunley.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pies & Puds 9.05 Tudor Monastery Farm 10.05 Rip Off Food 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First Photo Album 1.30 Cash in the Attic 2.15 The Great British Bake Off 3.15 Coast 4.15 Lost Land of the Tiger 5.15 Flog It!

DAN SNOWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HISTORY OF THE WINTER OLYMPICS 9pm, BBC2

Historian Dan Snow looks back at 90 years of the Winter Olympics, examining the impact of the political upheaval during the 20th and 21st centuries.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S,HD). Valuing antiques in Morecambe, Lancashire. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With regulars Richard Ward and Myleene Klass. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

BENIDORM 9pm, ITV

Joyce leaves Les in charge when she takes time off, but he soon ruffles feathers and the staff stage a mass walkout after Mateo gets the sack. Meanwhile, the Solana manageress goes on a secret date with fellow hotel boss Beverley. Guest star Matthew Kelly.

Channel 4

Channel 5

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Sarah Beenyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). 11.45 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final (R,S,HD). 1.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). The murder of a former marine is investigated. 3.10 Film: A Trick of the Mind (S) (2006). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Brad quits as Joshâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s coach.

Charlie Brookerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weekly â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

Emmerdale, 8pm

Hollyoaks, 6.30pm

Winter Road Rescue, 7pm

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6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 1/20. With the voice of Lionel Richie. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Freddie takes action to ensure Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fate remains a secret.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Roo asks Alf to lend her some money. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Fat Boy has a confession for Poppy. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 114/140. Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 19/20. Michael Portillo travels from Faversham to Dorking. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 9/12. Four of the quarter-finalists transform thatched cottages in Dorset.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). James accuses Ross of dealing drugs. 7.30 To Diet or Not to Diet?: Tonight (S,HD).

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD). The RAC is on high alert following torrential rain. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Question Time, 10.35pm

8.00 Hidden Kingdoms (S,HD). 3/3. A marmoset fending for itself on the streets of Rio de Janeiro, and a rhinoceros beetle avoiding predators on its way through Tokyo. Narrated by Stephen Fry. Last in the series.

8.00 Restoration Home One Year On (S,HD). 2/3. Kieran Long revisits two more projects previously featured on the programme â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a Georgian mansion in Derbyshire and a set of disused farm buildings in North Yorkshire.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Pete tells James the truth. 8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 5/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Jump (S). 5/8. The remaining contestants face the challenge of the ski cross course, and the pressure is on to get round it in the fastest possible time in the hope of avoiding The Jump. Continues tomorrow.

8.00 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Worst Holiday Horrors (R,S,HD). Tourists whose trips ended in disaster. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 9/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Dan Snowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s History of the Winter Olympics (S). See Choices Above.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 5/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Undateables (S,HD). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Truth About Your Dogâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Food (S,HD). Documentary revealing what goes into dog food during the manufacturing process, and offering a guide to owners on the best diets for their pets and which treats to avoid.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 Charlie Brookerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weekly Wipe (S,HD). 4/6. The broadcaster offers a satirical look at the latest news from politics, the media and the internet, casting a critical eye over trends in TV, cinema and social media. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Lying Game: Crimes That Fooled Britain (R,S,HD). Criminals who appeared in front of the cameras with fake displays of grief. Narrated by Lesley Sharp.

10.00 Bodyshockers: My Tattoo Hell (S). Katie Piper explores the craze for body modification, hearing confessions from people hoping to reverse what they have had done, including a man with a tattoo on his eyelid.

10.00 Kids Who Kill (S,HD). Documentary examining the personalities of children who have been convicted of murder and analysing their motivations, including one teenager who murdered his mother.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 18/38. David Dimbleby chairs a topical debate from Norwich, with panellists including Kenneth Clarke MP answering questions from the audience.

11.35 This Week (S). Andrew Neil presents round-table chat, in which he and his guests take a light-hearted romp through the political and parliamentary developments of the past seven days.

11.20 Horizon: Sugar v Fat (R,S,HD). Doctors Chris and Xand van Tulleken, who are identical twins, go on month-long diets comprising high volumes of fat or sugar to find out which is worse for the human body.

11.35 Strictly Kosher (R,S,HD). 2/2. Conclusion. Bernette Clarke talks about the Jewish mourning period.

11.00 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 4/8. A 56-year-old man is put on life support following a cardiac arrest, a nightclub host realises his lifestyle is taking its toll and a schoolgirl is rushed in after a road accident.

11.00 CSI: NY (R,S,HD). 1/17. Tragedy strikes when an arson attack triggers an explosion, bringing Mac and the team into contact with recently released fireraiser Leonard Brooks.

12.20 Skiing Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: Putinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Games â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Panorama (R,S). A report on the real cost of the Winter Games in Russia, which has quadrupled to a record-breaking ÂŁ30billion, amid claims of corruption, embezzlement and non-payment of workers. 12.50 Sign Zone: Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve (R,S). 1.50 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.30 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 To Diet or Not to Diet?: Tonight (R,HD). 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.05 One Born Every Minute (R,S,HD). 1.00 Random Acts (S). 1.05 The Fat Fighters (R,S,HD). 2.00 Random Acts (S). 2.05 Health Freaks (R,S,HD). 2.35 Children on the Frontline (R,S,HD). 3.30 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). 4.30 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 4.35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Viewers get the chance to take part in live interactive gaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.05 Real-Life Heroes: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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A TRICK OF THE MIND 3.10pm, Channel 5

Another catch-up with memorable daters from previous editions, including part-time actor Sam, who has Down’s syndrome, and Richard, who has Asperger’s syndrome. Last in the series.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 Coronation Street 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! 8.15 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 9.00 Dinner Date 10.00 Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 Real Housewives of Orange County 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

A woman discovers a private eye is spying on her husband. When she confronts the detective, he claims her spouse is holding secrets back and that her life is in danger if she remains with him. Thriller, starring Alexandra Holden, Paul Johansson and Stacy Grant. Edited for daytime broadcast.

E4 6.00 Switched 6.25 Ugly Betty 7.10 Charmed (R). 8.00 Glee 9.00 Rules of Engagement (R).10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement 12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 The Jump (R). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

THE UNDATEABLES 9pm, Channel 4

2 BROKE GIRLS 9.30pm, E4

GOLD

6.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 7.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 8.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

OPEN ALL HOURS 7.20pm, GOLD

Max makes friends with a like-minded student on her first day at pastry school, while Caroline’s job working in the office is not quite what she was expecting.

6.10 2point4 Children 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 2point4 Children 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Open All Hours 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

A squeak on Granville’s bike interferes with his hopes of romance, and Arkwright worries about a mysterious visitor to a house in Atkinson Terrace.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.30 What’s the Story? (HD). 11.30 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 12.30 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 1.30 Spanish Football Gold. 2.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 2.30 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival (HD).

Tricked, 9pm

The Midnight Beast, 10pm

An Idiot Abroad, 9pm

Gavin & Stacey, 9pm

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R). Patrick from Kent chooses three blind dates. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Comedy, starring Kaley Cuoco.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Phil and Claire try to spice up Valentine’s Day. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo changes his image. Rural comedy, starring Frank Thornton. 6.40 Open All Hours

6.00 Premier League World (S,HD). 6.30 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Featuring clever dogs. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Featuring the ultimate drooling dog.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Trevor confronts Fraser about his father’s death. 7.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). The family recalls stories about disasters at sea. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Homer befriends a former CIA agent.

7.20 Open All Hours. See Choices Above.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Alan takes a shine to Charlie’s former girlfriend. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Judith bills Alan for Jake’s shoes. Charlie Sheen stars.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Comedy, starring Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon and Penny bond as they miss Leonard.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Jay teaches Manny to ride a bike. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Mitchell wonders whether he fathered a child.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic view of Casualty. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The quirky comic takes a characteristically surreal look at Ladette to Lady and Sally Morgan: Star Psychic.

9.00 Tricked (R,HD). TOWIE stars James “Arg” Argent and James “Diags” Bennewith take a terrifying taxi ride, and Olympic boxer Luke Campbell gets his gold medal messed with. Last in the series.

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (HD). Jake struggles to solve any of his numerous cases. Comedy, starring Andy Samberg. 9.30 2 Broke Girls (HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). Karl Pilkington visits destinations on his ‘bucket list’, trying new experiences including swimming with dolphins and driving along America’s renowned Route 66.

9.00 Gavin & Stacey. First episode of the comedy, starring Mathew Horne and Joanna Page. 9.40 Gavin & Stacey. The couple have their first lovers’ tiff. Mathew Horne and Joanna Page star.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Nottingham Forest v Watford (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the Championship fixture at the City Ground, between two clubs with promotion aspirations. Forest look the better set for a push for at least a play-off place, but have a poor recent record against the Hornets, who need to make up plenty of ground on several sides if they are to finish in the top six for the second successive season.

10.20 Gavin & Stacey. The 10.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme 10.00 Fake Reaction (HD). 10.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing 10.00 The Midnight Beast couple announce their World (R,S,HD). Ross With Kerry Katona, magazine, including (HD). Sloman tries to engagement, and the Kemp visits Papua New Matt Johnson, Cheska highlights of recent win his wife back. families unite for a party Guinea, a nation where Hull and Patrick bouts and interviews Comedy, starring Stefan in Billericay – tribal law rules and Monahan. with the stars currently Abingdon, Andrew unprepared for the dangerous gangs control causing a stir in the ring. Wakely and Ashley 10.50 Mom (R). Christy goes bombshell that awaits the streets – as the actor Horne. on her first date since them. Mathew Horne himself finds when he is she gave up alcohol and 10.30 The Inbetweeners (R). and Joanna Page star. held at gunpoint by Bonnie teaches Roscoe Simon tries to impress a hijackers. how to gamble. girl. 11.20 Dads (R,HD). Comedy starring Seth Green, Giovanni Ribisi, Peter Reigert and Martin Mull. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R,HD).

11.05 The IT Crowd (R). Jen applies for a new job. Comedy, starring Katherine Parkinson. 11.40 The IT Crowd (R,HD). Moss becomes a celebrity.

11.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Phill Jupitus and Peter Crouch. James Corden presents.

11.00 The League of Gentlemen. Mike and Cheryl’s wedding day arrives. 11.40 Men Behaving Badly. Tony tries to make Deborah jealous.

11.00 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures in the Championship, League One and League Two.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). 12.50 Plebs (R,HD). Cynthia’s charming new gladiator boyfriend Cassius impresses everyone except jealous Marcus. 1.15 Tricked (R,HD). 2.10 Kelly Rowland: The Hot Desk (R,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 1.05 Revenge (R,HD). Emily investigates how her plan failed. 2.05 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.30 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.00 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 3.40 Glee (R,HD). 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). 1.00 Night Cops (R,S). The work of police officers across the UK. 2.00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response (R,S). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 Gavin & Stacey 1.00 Gavin & Stacey 1.30 Gavin & Stacey 2.00 The League of Gentlemen. Mike and Cheryl’s wedding day arrives – but they make the mistake of letting Geoff be best man. Meanwhile, Harvey holds a funeral for his pet toads. 2.30 Men Behaving Badly

12.00 NFL – A Football Life (S,HD). A profile of former quarterback Randall Cunningham, who rose to fame with the Philadelphia Eagles in the 1980s. 12.55 Live International One-Day Cricket (HD). New Zealand v India. Coverage of the fifth and final contest in the series.

SEE, HEAR AND TRY ... THE YAMAHA EXPERIENCE Get in the yuletide mood and exploreYamaha’s range of digital pianos and keyboards

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). The presenters build a car that can be turned into a hovercraft. 8.00 Motorway Cops (R,S). Traffic police enforce the law on Britain’s most dangerous highways. 9.00 Tough Young Teachers (S,HD). Oliver and Charles take their classes on school trips. 10.00 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). Jack Whitehall hosts the standup show. Last in the series. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! 12.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.30 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). 2.30 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 3.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 8.00 Ever Decreasing Circles (R). 8.30 London on Film: The East End (R). Archive footage of the city’s East End. 9.00 Easter Island: Mysteries of a Lost World. New theories about the demise of the island’s civilisation. 10.30 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). The burial of a warrior and his horse. Last in the series. 11.30 Rococo: Travel, Pleasure, Madness (R,HD). 12.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R,HD). 1.05 Ever Decreasing Circles (R). 1.35 London on Film: The East End (R). 2.05 Easter Island: Mysteries of a Lost World (R).

THURSDAY January 30 ��’� ��

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TV PICKS

ROOM 101 8.30pm, BBC1

Frank Skinner welcomes German comedian Henning Wehn, West End star Michael Ball and actress-presenter Caroline Quentin to discuss their pet hates.

Ben Fogle meets people who have moved to inhospitable parts of the world after leaving the rat race behind. He begins by travelling to the swamplands of southern Georgia in America to spend time with 64-year-old Colbert, a former financier who now lives in his hand-built wooden cabin.

The actor and musician talks about finding fame in Spandau Ballet before going on to star in EastEnders, and how George Michael helped him find a wife, as well as land his TV role.

New series. Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker are joined by celebrity guests for a comic review of the significant moments of the past seven days. They also look at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympic and Paralympic Games and follow Alex’s quest to participate in the Rio Paralympics in 2016.

The Graham Norton Show, 10.35pm

Vultures: Beauty in the Beast … 9pm

The Martin Lewis Money … 8pm

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 10.50pm

Ice Road Truckers, 8pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/20. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Trevor confronts Fraser about his father’s death.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Nina runs off with Jett. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 Regional Programme (R,S,HD). Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 115/140. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 20/20. Michael Portillo completes his journey to Chichester. Last in the series. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 10/12. The remaining quarter-finalists transform bedrooms in a tower block in east London.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

▼

Channel 5

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.00 Cold War, Hot Jets (R,S). 10.00 Question Time 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00 Britain’s First Photo Album 1.30 Cash in the Attic (R,S). 2.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S). 3.15 Coast (R,S,HD). 4.15 Lost Land of the Tiger (R,S,HD). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Brenda is caught shoplifting. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). The Street’s residents gather for Hayley’s funeral.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Building the London Underground (R,S,HD). The technologies that have helped develop the Tube. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

Channel 4

6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Another member of the Carter family turns up. 8.30 Room 101 (S,HD). 2/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Mastermind (S,HD). 21/31. Specialist subjects include Manic Street Preachers and the ghost stories of MR James. 8.30 An Island Parish (S,HD). 3/6. Sark hosts a talent competition.

8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show (S,HD). 5/6. Car and home insurance, balance transfers and student loans. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Anna and Fiz discover a note Roy has left for them.

8.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). New series. Alex Debogorski gets his first taste of Canada’s Dempster Highway as he transports food from White Horse, Yukon, to Inuvik in the Northwest Territories. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

ITV

THE LAST LEG 10pm, Channel 4

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 10/10. Part two of two. Jack’s world falls apart with the discovery of another body, forcing him into a dangerous one-man quest to find the truth. David Caves stars. Last in the series.

9.00 Vultures: Beauty in the Beast – Natural World (S,HD). Charlie Hamilton James travels to eastern Africa to try to show a different side to the muchmaligned vulture, which he believes is a beautiful and intelligent bird.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Martin Kemp (S,HD). 5/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Jump (S). 6/8. The remaining stars hit the ice to battle it out in speed skating, and the two slowest round the course face a live ski jump to keep their place in the competition. Presented by Davina McCall and Alex Brooker. Continues tomorrow.

9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

▼

BBC2

PIERS MORGAN’S LIFE STORIES: MARTIN KEMP 9pm, ITV

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 15/21. Graham’s guests are actors Matthew McConaughey and Julianne Moore, funnyman Alan Davies and singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow.

10.00 QI (S,HD). 18/18. Second of two compilations of highlights from the K series of the quiz, which featured guests including David Mitchell, Ross Noble, Phill Jupitus and Jimmy Carr. Last in the series. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 6/13. Philip and Elizabeth are abducted by someone who knows their real identity, and are pushed to their physical and mental limits after they refuse to reveal covert information.

10.00 The Last Leg (S). 1/8. See Choices Above. 10.50 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 3/22. Jake struggles to solve any of his numerous cases.

▼

BBC1

BEN FOGLE: NEW LIVES IN THE WILD 9pm, Channel 5

11.25 Football Focus: Transfer Deadline Day Special (S,HD). Dan Walker and a selection of guests review the latest news and reaction to the day’s signings, as the clubs finalise their squads for the remaining months of the season.

11.00 Weather (S,HD). 11.05 Live Davis Cup Tennis (S,HD). USA v Great Britain. Commentary by Jonathan Overend and John Lloyd.

11.35 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 5/7. Joyce leaves Les in charge of the Solana when she takes time off, but his managerial style ruffles feathers and the staff stage a mass walkout after Mateo gets the sack.

11.20 Saw IV (S) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●

10.00 The Siege (S) (1998). New York is placed under martial law after a series of bombings and hijackings involving hundreds of casualties causes widespread panic, prompting a desperate bid by the FBI to find the terrorist cell responsible before full-scale civil unrest takes hold of the city. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis, Annette Bening and Tony Shalhoub. See Choices Above. ●●

12.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. Shirley is nervous about asking her father for money to keep the Vic afloat and Carol decides to tell dad Jim about her illness. 1.55 Weatherview (S). 2.00 BBC News (S,HD).

1.00 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S). Kenneth Clarke MP is among the panellists as David Dimbleby chairs a topical debate from Norwich. 2.00 Sign Zone: Michael Palin in Wyeth’s World (R,S). The Monty Python star examines the life and work of American artist Andrew Wyeth. 3.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes from BBC Two.

12.30 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: Captivity (S) (2007). A successful model is abducted by a sadistic madman, who holds her hostage in his underground lair and forces her to make her way through a maze of cruel and twisted torments. Horror, starring Elisha Cuthbert and Daniel Gillies. ●● 4.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD).

12.55 Random Acts (S,HD). 1.00 Random Acts 1.05 Film: Neil Young: Heart of Gold (HD) (2006). ●●●● 2.45 According to Jim (S,HD). 3.10 Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 (S,HD). 3.35 Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 3.55 A Ninja Is for Life, Not Just for Christmas (R,S). 4.00 The Three Day Nanny 4.55 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.15 Deal or No Deal

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). David Dickinson heads to Leek in Staffordshire. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). The presenter is joined by Nadia Sawalha. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire USA (R,S,HD). 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Ultimate Police Interceptors (R,S). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 The Mentalist (R,S,HD). Jane finds a new adversary in cult leader Bret Stiles. 3.15 Film: Angels Fall (S) (2007). Crime drama, starring Heather Locklear and Johnathon Schaech. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

6 7 8 9

10 11

▼

after

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12.15 SuperCasino. Viewers get the chance to take part in live interactive gaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.05 Among the Apes (R,S). 3.55 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

STELLA 9pm, Sky1

The student nurse’s HRT causes her sex drive to go up a notch or two, leading to an unexpected encounter with a famous face. Her relationship with new neighbour Michael, on the other hand, is less civil after a squabble over a wheelie bin. Alan follows doctor’s orders and starts trying to lose weight.

Jamie Oliver presents two shellfish recipes, Jimmy Doherty prepares his own charcuterie and guest Kirstie Allsopp rustles up Indian street food.

E4 6.00 Switched 6.25 Ugly Betty 7.10 Charmed 8.00 Glee (R,HD). 9.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 The Jump (R). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

JAMIE AND JIMMY’S FRIDAY NIGHT FEAST 8pm, Channel 4

SAW IV 11.20pm, Channel 4

GOLD

6.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Last Man Standing (S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

THE SIEGE 10pm, Channel 5

Horror sequel, with Costas Mandylor, Athena Karkanis, Scott Patterson, Tobin Bell, Betsy Russell, Lyriq Bent, Justin Louis and Donnie Wahlberg.

An FBI agent races to stop a terrorist cell responsible for a series of bombings while New York is placed under martial law. Thriller, with Denzel Washington.

Sky Sports 1

6.10 2point4 Children 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 2point4 Children 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Open All Hours 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.15 To the Manor Born 2.55 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Live International One-Day Cricket 9.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 10.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 11.00 Premier League World 11.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 12.00 Ringside (HD). 1.00 The Rugby Club (HD). 2.00 FL72 Preview. 3.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 4.00 Ringside (HD). 5.00 FL72 Preview.

The Bourne … 9pm

The Big Bang Theory, 8pm

Modern Family, 8pm

Fawlty Towers, 9pm

The Fantasy Football … 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R). Londoner Peter takes part in the dating show. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Phil and Claire have a massive falling out. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine 6.40 Open All Hours. Arkwright decides to make his own product.

6.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (HD). 6.30 Premier League Preview (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Camcorder calamities including a glow-in-the-dark toad. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Sinead plans a surprise birthday party for Freddie. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Bart heads to New York to find an ex-girlfriend. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Three festive shorts with the animated family.

7.20 Open All Hours. Arkwright discovers he has a love rival. Comedy, starring Ronnie Barker and David Jason.

7.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). John Fendley and Paul Merson present a discussion on key fantasy football issues.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Evelyn’s second husband dies. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). Alan goes on a blind date. Comedy, starring Jon Cryer and Charlie Sheen.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon and Penny bond as they miss Leonard. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). Caroline is disappointed by her new job. Comedy, starring Kat Dennings.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Manny takes up fencing with the whole family’s support. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Guest starring Edward Norton and Elizabeth Banks.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic look at smallscreen highlights, subjecting soap sagas, reality shows and documentaries to Harry’s unique brand of scrutiny.

8.00 Deadline Day Live (HD). The latest from the transfer window.

9.00 Terminator Salvation 9.00 The Bourne 9.00 Stella (HD). See Choices (HD) (2009). In a future Supremacy (HD) (2004). Above. dominated by the deadly The amnesiac assassin is robots, resistance leader living quietly in hiding, John Connor fights to until his former stop the creation of an employers come after advanced new him again and murder terminator and searches his girlfriend. A CIA for the teenager operation has ended in destined to go back in disaster, and those time and become his responsible intend to 10.00 A League of Their father. Elsewhere, a clear their names by Own (R,S). Radio 1 DJ mysterious stranger with implicating Bourne. As Sara Cox and One no memory is about to the former secret agent Direction’s Harry Styles, learn the shocking truth tries to evade the hitmen Louis Tomlinson and about his origins. Sci-fi on his trail, he also Niall Horan join host thriller sequel, starring struggles to piece James Corden for the Christian Bale, Sam together the truth about comedy sports quiz. Worthington and Anton his past. Thriller sequel, Yelchin. ●● starring Matt Damon and Brian Cox. ●●●●

9.00 Fawlty Towers. In the first episode of the comedy, Basil tries to upgrade his clientele. 9.45 Fawlty Towers. Basil tries to save money on building costs. Classic comedy, with John Cleese and Prunella Scales.

9.00 Deadline Day Live (HD).

10.20 Fawlty Towers. Prudish 10.00 Deadline Day Live Basil resorts to (HD). increasingly desperate measures to prevent an unmarried couple lowering moral standards at his hotel. Classic comedy, starring John Cleese and Prunella Scales.

11.15 Take Me Out (R,HD). A 11.15 Rude Tube 2012 surfer, a festival lover, a (R,HD). Online clips carpenter and a Take featuring animal antics. That tribute star take part. Paddy McGuinness presents.

11.10 The League of 11.00 A League of Their Gentlemen. Mr Own (R,S). With guests Chinnery struggles with Jimmy Carr and James a calving cow. Anderson. James Corden presents. 11.50 Men Behaving Badly. Gary makes a drunken proposal.

11.00 Deadline Day Live (HD).

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). 12.50 Two and a Half Men (R,HD). 1.20 Dads (R,HD). Comedy starring Seth Green. 1.40 Mom (R). Christy goes on her first date since she gave up alcohol. 2.05 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). Candid moments captured on camera. 2.30 Teleshopping.

12.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). With Phill Jupitus and Peter Crouch. 1.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response (R,S). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Luton Airport (R,S). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 The Fantasy Football Club 1.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 1.30 Football Gold (S). 2.00 Football Gold 2.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 3.30 Premier League Preview 4.00 Football Gold 4.15 Football League Gold 4.30 The Fantasy Football Club 5.30 Premier League Preview

12.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.50 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 1.20 The Midnight Beast (R,HD). 1.50 PhoneShop (R,HD). 2.20 Cardinal Burns (R,HD). 2.45 Very Important People (R,HD). 3.10 Balls of Steel Australia (R). 3.40 Glee (R,HD).

12.30 The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff. Shop owner Jedrington Secret-Past teams up with a charming new business partner, who may not be all he seems. Dickensian comedy adventure, starring Robert Webb. 1.10 A Child’s Christmases in Wales 2.10 The League of Gentlemen

BBC3

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 James Bond 50th Anniversary Gala Concert (R,HD). The Philharmonia Orchestra, conducted by Carl Davis, performs music from the 007 films at London’s Royal Festival Hall. Former Bond Girl Honor Blackman presents. 9.00 Blondie: One Way or Another (R). Profile of the pop group fronted by singer Debbie Harry. 10.15 Sound City (HD) (2013). Premiere. Documentary about a famous Los Angeles recording studio. ●●●●

7.00 Live Davis Cup Tennis (S,HD). USA v Great Britain. Coverage of day one of the first-round match from the World Group, held at Petco Park in San Diego, where the opening singles rubbers take place. 11.05 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Meg becomes infatuated with a popular boy at school. 11.30 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.50 Live at the Electric (S,HD). Roger Showbusiness attempts to hypnotise the audience. 12.20 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Uncle (R,S,HD). 1.30 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 2.30 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 3.00 Great Movie Mistakes (R,S). 3.30 Uncle (R,S,HD).

12.00 Sings the Great American Songbook (R). 1.00 When Rock Goes Acoustic (R). 2.00 Film: Sound City (HD) (2013). ●●●●

FRIDAY January 31 ��’� ��

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Keukenhof Flower Festival, Holland Door2Door Holiday 3rd - 6th May 2014 Spend a day exploring the Keukenhof Gardens and watching the flower parade go by. Other days will be spent on a steam train ride from Hoorn, visiting the fishing village of Volendam and on a glass top boat trip in Amsterdam+.

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How will Pete and Sue cope with tattoos and teen angst? W|{u|tilylk JJK94 _lkulzkh 4 Rhu|hy :A ��’��

ever work with children or animals – that’s what they say. But Hugh Dennis and Claire Skinner would probably disagree. The stars of family comedy Outnumbered, in which they play Pete and Sue, parents of three fascinating but often challenging children, have been working with kids since the show started in 2007, and they love it. There is one strange thing about working with youngsters though – each time they return for a new series, they’re different. Tyger Drew-Honey, 17, plays eldest son Jake; Daniel Roche, 14, is troublesome middle son Ben and 12-year-old Ramona Marquez is deep-thinking Karen. “It’s quite odd,” admits Claire. “On this series I heard this big voice and I thought, ‘Who’s that?’ And it was Dan.” This transformation from kids to teens plays out in the new series. “There’s a different raft of issues,” Claire continues. First up – driving lessons for Jake.

“Sue and Pete both think they’ll be able to do it and not have to employ an instructor, but then they decide that’s not true,” says Hugh. Jake also gets a tattoo which the parents initially balk at, before realising there is little they can do about it. “You can’t do much now that David Dimbleby’s had one,” Hugh notes. On top of that, Karen’s now in secondary school (Rebecca Front plays her headmistress), Ben’s in a musical about Spartacus, Pete and Sue both have new jobs and troublesome Auntie Angela (Samantha Bond) is clashing with her sister as much as ever. “I love those scenes,” Claire admits. She also likes the scenes in which Pete and Sue have what she calls “whispered conferences”, something she recognises from her own life. “I certainly have those, where a situation arises that you’ve never encountered before and I have to say to my husband, ‘Can I have a word?’” Both have children of their own – Claire has two boys aged 14 and

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12, while Hugh has a 16-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter. So do they pick up parenting tips from the show to take home? “I think Pete and Sue are pretty hands-off,” says Claire. “That’s actually quite a good thing.” Having said that, the actors say their own parenting skills are very different to their on-screen personas. “I’m much stricter than Pete,” confesses Hugh. “I’ve always thought, with parenting, what you’re really doing is training them to leave home – in a very loving way – but that is essentially what you’re doing. So you just make sure they’re sensible.” There is one thing he has in common with Pete, though. “I am amused by the situations I find myself in, and Pete’s reaction sometimes is to go, ‘What an amazing thing to have said’. I’m generally entertained by my children and those thoughts come into my head before I think ‘You really shouldn’t have done or said that’.” Claire, meanwhile, thinks Sue’s more laid-back than she is.

“She’s a mixture of laid back and very intense, whereas I don’t really have any laid-back in me,” she says, confessing that she worries about technology a lot. “Things are just creeping in – trying to keep phones downstairs at night and rooms clear of the Internet. “The hyper-vigilance around the way they behave on these devices and on Facebook is exhausting, but maybe that’s just me,” she adds. The show’s always used a system whereby the adults learn scripts, and the children are given last minute instructions by the writers and encouraged to improvise. “They still don’t get to see the script until just before,” Hugh says. “The key is to make them sound like kids and not speak like 50-year-olds, so they put their own words in.” As for the future of Outnumbered, Hugh doesn’t think the end is nigh. “I don’t think there’s any feeling that this is the last we’ll see of Outnumbered,” he says. “Anyway, kids don’t leave home until they’re 35 now.”

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