2009 CFB Preview: Texas Longhorns stingers.
Receivers: Gone is Quan
Mack Brown told ESPN’s
Mel Kiper in a radio broadcast before last season that 2009 could be Texas’ year to contend for its second national title this decade. Brown nearly pulled it off a year ahead of schedule by going 12–1 in 2008. A last-second, go-ahead touchdown pass from Graham Harrell to Michael Crabtree at Texas Tech was the only thing separating Texas from an undefeated season. Now, Brown, in his 12th year in Austin, is doing everything he can to fight complacency. “More people will be positive about this upcoming season than last year,” Brown says. “Our players will have to handle the positives. What I’ve found traditionally at our school is that the guys handle the negatives and criticism a lot better than the positives. It’s a much better motivation than the positives.” The schedule appears manageable for a team with 14 returning starters. There is no marquee game in non-conference play (UL Monroe, at Wyoming, UTEP and UCF). The toughest conference games appear to be Oklahoma on Oct. 17 and at Oklahoma State on Oct. 31. Texas has taken three of the last four from OU and has never lost to the Cowboys under Brown (11–0). “We, as a team, feel like this could be a special season,” says cornerback Chykie Brown. Quarterbacks Colt McCoy, runner-up to Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford in
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the Heisman Trophy voting, set an NCAA Division I single-season record by completing 76.7 percent of his passes. He is on a mission after Texas was bypassed for the Big 12 title game last season despite beating both Oklahoma and Missouri by double-digits. (The conference tiebreaker sent OU). He was the team’s leading rusher last season (561 yards), but coaches don’t want McCoy running as much this season because he’s too valuable as a passer. The backup role could end up going to true freshman Garrett Gilbert, one of the top high school recruits in the country, who will battle junior Sherrod Harris. The backup role became a hot topic after junior John Chiles, a highly recruited athlete out of Mansfield Summit, moved to receiver in the spring.
Garrett Gilbert Number: 3 Height: 6-4 Weight: 207 Position: Quarterback Hometown: Austin, Texas High School: Lake Travis * The first Texan to ever win the Gatorade National Player of the Year * Also was named the Parade, EA Sports and USA Today Player of the Year * Finished his high school career as Texas’ all-time leader in passing yards (12,540) and ranks second in state history in passing TDs (138), completions
(895) and attempts (1,368) * Ended his career on a 30game winning streak and led Lake Travis to consecutive State Championships * A second-team academic allstate selection and a four-time academic all-district pick
Running backs
At a school known for churning out high-profile running backs, none managed even 400 yards rushing last season as Texas struggled to find a primary ball-carrier. UT hoped to have an answer coming out of spring ball but didn’t. Vondrell McGee (376 yards rushing in 2008), Cody Johnson (338 yards) and Foswhitt Whittaker (284 yards) are the top returnees and will be pushed by sophomore Jeremy Hills and redshirt freshman Tre’ Newton, the son of former Cowboys offensive lineman Nate Newton. True freshman Chris Whaley, who weighs 235 pounds, will also get an opportunity as Brown appears serious about committing to a “power running game.” For that reason, Johnson, a former fullback who coaches want to get down to 240 pounds from 255, could be the opening-day starter at tailback for the Longhorns. Whoever gets the job will have to catch the football — a key component in McCoy‘s passing options. Chris Ogbonnaya, who emerged as the team’s starting running back last year and has now graduated, finished third in receptions in 2008 with 46 for 540 yards and three TDs.
Cosby, who quietly became one of the most important players in UT’s 12–1 season in 2008. Cosby had a team-leading 1,123 yards receiving and provided leadership as a 26year-old former minor league baseball player. Attempting to replace Cosby will be 6’3”, 220-pound blazer Malcolm Williams, who is not a natural passcatcher but is lethal with the ball once he corrals it. Texas lacked a big, downfield receiver last year. Williams should be the answer. He exploded for two long TD receptions against Texas Tech last season but struggled to catch the ball consistently the rest of the season. Extra work with McCoy has offensive coordinator Greg Davis saying he expects “a breakout season” from Williams in 2009. Also returning is veteran Jordan Shipley, who had 1,060 yards receiving last year and is McCoy’s go-to guy in a pinch. Shipley recorded three 100-yard games last season, including a memorable 11catch, 112-yard performance against Oklahoma. Joining Williams in the category of rising star are Brandon Collins and James Kirkendoll, who have quickly gained the trust of McCoy. An intriguing project will be Chiles, who moved from quarterback in the spring and has athleticism to burn. Tight end is a big problem as starter Blaine Irby’s football future may be in doubt after a serious knee injury in 2008. Coaches were hoping sophomore Ian Harris would emerge as an answer at tight end, but he has struggled to stay healthy because of recurring neck and shoulder
Offensive linemen:
Texas returns four starters on the offensive line and six players who saw significant time in 2008. While the line did a nice job of pass protecting McCoy, the run blocking has come under criticism. Because McCoy was so accurate in the passing game, the run blocking went unnoticed until Texas couldn’t run the ball when it wanted to in its only loss — at Texas Tech. In that game, UT ran it 28 times for 80 yards against an undersized defense. The run blocking will have to improve for Texas to win big. Center Chris Hall, left guard Charlie Tanner and left tackle Adam Ulatoski are all seniors who have been in a lot of big games.
Defensive linemen:
Replacing Lombardi and Nagurski award winner Brian Orakpo at defensive end and tackle Roy Miller, arguably the heart and soul of last year’s defense, will not be easy. The line also lost end Henry Melton and backup tackle Aaron Lewis from the nation‘s No. 3 rush defense in 2008. Defensive coordinator Will Muschamp spent all spring trying to find answers, and he may have a star in senior end Sergio Kindle, who had 10 sacks last year as an end/linebacker hybrid. Senior tackle Lamarr Houston will anchor the middle of the line, and true freshman end Alex Okafor, a top national recruit, is expected to contribute right away. Houston has emerged as a locker room leader, which will help fill the void left by Orakpo and Miller.
2009 CFB Preview: Texas Longhorns
Preseason Ranking: No. 2 in AP Top 25; No. 2 in USA Today Poll. Key Returning Players: Colt McCoy (QB); Jordan Shipley (WR); Brandon Collins (WR); Vondrell McGee (RB); Adam Ulatoski (OT); Roddrick Muckelroy (LB); Sergio Kindle (LB); Jared Norton (LB); Earl Thomas (S); Deon Beasley (CB); Curtis Brown (CB); Cody Johnson. Key Losses: Brian Orakpo (DE); Rashad Bobino (LB); Henry Melton (DE); Roy Miller (DT); Ryan Palmer (CB); Quan Cosby (WR); Cedric Dockery (G); Chris Ogbonnaya (RB).
Player to Watch: Colt McCoy, QB. Who else? After completing 76.7 percent of his passes, throwing for 3,859 yards, rushing for 561 yards and totaling 45 touchdowns (34 passing, 11 rushing) in 2008, is there anything McCoy can’t do? He could usher people to his seats before the game and sell concessions at halftime and still compile 400 total yards and five touchdowns. McCoy is once again a legitimate Heisman candidate and only has
one mission after deciding to return for his senior year: Win a national championship.
Team Strength: Outside
of what McCoy brings to the table, the back seven on defense will be a major strength for the Longhorns this season. The defensive line lost a ton of talent with the departures of Brian Orakpo, Henry Melton and Roy Miller, but the linebacker corps should be one of the best in the nation with the return of Roddrick Muckelroy, Sergio Kindle and Jared Norton. The secondary, which ranked seventh in the Big 12 last year in pass defense, returns solid corners Deon Beasley, Curtis Brown and Chykie Brown, as well as quality safeties Blake Gideon and Earl Thomas. As long as the line can get consistent pressure on the quarterback, Texas will be fine defensively…
Potential Weakness: …but if it can’t, the effectiveness of the back seven could be negated.
The Longhorns led the nation in sacks last year, but they lost an elite pass rusher in Orakpo (who was drafted in April), as well as former starters Melton and Miller. Kindle
the senior signal caller certainly has enough talent around him in Jordan Shipley, Vondrell McGee, Malcolm Williams and James Kirkendoll not to have to win games on his own, McCoy is the key to whether or not the Longhorns will play in the national title game this season. While questions remain about the line, the defense is in good shape and won’t hold the Longhorns back. The non-conference schedule is also favorable, as LouisianaMonroe, Wyoming, UTEP
and UCF shouldn’t pose too much of a threat. (As opposed to BYU and Miami, two teams on Big 12 rival Oklahoma’s non-conference schedule.) Given the return of McCoy, the weapons they have on offense, the defensive back seven and their favorable schedule, the Longhorns are set up to make a championship run. Now it’s just a matter of putting it all together. Hook Em!
is being tried at a defensive end and given the passrushing ability he displayed from the linebacker position last year, Texas could wind up being fine in that department. But Mack Brown better hope that’s the case, because teams don’t survive in the Big 12 without a consistent pass rush.
Outlook: Texas will go as far as McCoy takes them. While
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ACL PREVIEW: October 2-4 2009 WHO TO WATCH FOR THIS YEAR MOS DEF AMD (West) Saturday, October 03, 2009 06:00 - 07:00 There are far more prolific artists on the hip-hop scene than Mos Def, but not many in his league when it comes to diversification and political outspokenness. Musically, he sealed the deal with his first two albums — 1998’s Mos Def and Talib Kweli are Black Star and the following year’s Black on Both Sides — which are arguably two of the most highly regarded records in rap history.
PEARL JAM
LIVESTRONG (East) Sunday, October 04, 2009 08:00 - 10:00
At first considered the pariahs of Seattle’s grunge scene because songs like “Alive,” “Even Flow” and “Jeremy,” though dark and often disturbing, sounded great in arenas and helped sell millions of albums, Pearl Jam proved to be the standard-bearers for a genre formed as a reaction to rock-star excess and rooted in the ideal of not selling out. Eddie Vedder, Jeff Ament, Stone Gossard and Mike McCready earned respect by refusing to make videos for years, by capping ticket prices and by eventually boycotting Ticketmaster and taking the behemoth agency to court (nearly killing the band’s career in the process).
Coheedand Cambria LIVESTRONG (East)Friday, October 02, 200904:30 - 05:30
If the inevitable — and oh-soappropriate, frankly — com-
parisons to Rush throw you off, well, that’s just your loss. Those in the know — and they are legion, across the U.S. and as far away as Japan — know that New York’s Coheed and Cambria’s heady mix of prog-rock, metal and emo makes for one of the most exciting chapters in today’s modern rock scene.
DAVE MATTHEWS BAND LIVESTRONG (East) Saturday, October 03, 2009 08:00 - 10:00 From their first gig at an Earth Day festival and their early days on the traveling H.O.R.D.E. Festival to their current status as the hardest-touring summer act since the Grateful Dead — not to mention frontman Dave Matthews’ status as the fourth performing board member of Farm Aid — the Dave Matthews Band is practically synonymous with festivals and outdoor concerts.
GHOSTLAND OBSERVATORY AMD (West) Saturday, October 03, 2009 8:00 - 09:30 Already legends in their hometown of Austin, the duo of Aaron Behrens and Thomas Ross Turner melds guitars, sequencers and programmed beats into a white-hot mix of punk rock, digitized funk and techno. Taking cues from disparate influences ranging from Daft Punk to Jerry Lee Lewis to Queen, Ghostland Observatory delivers with sweat and screams.
SONIC YOUTH Dell STAGE: Sunday, October 04, 2009 7:00PM - 8:00PM Half of Sonic Youth’s name doesn’t really apply anymore, as three of its four members are in their 50s. But a youthful disregard for convention remains in the greatest art rock band this country has produced.
Over the years, major publications have inevitably called the band’s latest album of the year “a return to form.” But whether it’s 2002’s postapocalyptic Murray Street or the stripped down Rather Ripped from 2006, the band rarely takes the easy route. Weird Magazine “Who to Watch For” at this years ACL. There are so many great bands, so go out and enjoy the show. We will see you there since ACL granted Weird Magazine Full Press Access to ACL 2009.
For More complete listing visit ACL online at aclfestival. com Keeping Austin WEIRD! Russell Dowden
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sAN MARCOS ROeKS/ triple crown TRIPLE CROWN SAN MARCOS TEXAS: 8-27-09 San Marcos has a lot
of great things to see hear and do and Weird Magazine peeked in on a local treasure The Triple Crown for some live music and a few cold beers. Much to our supprise our ears, souls and minds were knock into the square off Hopkins street by the groovy rythmic sounds of FUNKOTRON! The band took us back into
time about 30 years,for a constant non stop jam session that felt like 1978 which would make this writer only 7 then. The Energy Funkotron put out was intense and grooving with sick sounding funk rhythms that border with psychadelic jazz. The funky riffs were so tight i had to step back and slap myself! What does Rhythm mean? Wikipedia descibes it as follows:
length and accentuation of a series of sounds or other events.
The keyboard organ playing had an old school sound like
Rhythm
“any measure-d flow or movement, symmetry”) is the variation of the
Santana meets Edgar Winter Group. I don’t know who these guys are, but they can play a gig at a Weird Magazine Party anytime!
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Kaya: Bob Marley and Marijuana
Scottish THE Comic INTERVIEW .. minus the “taking my pants off” thing (except that one time), and that is a feeling that not alot of Comedy clubs can offer ! OH, and don’t get me started on the waitstaff, did you see that Goldilocks’ waitress? I’m not sure what she brings me and I don’t care as long as she is coming around! What were we talking about again? Sorry... its this damn marijuana...
W : Where have you performed and do you have any favorite venue?
Ive performed EVERYWHERE! And I mean it! My favorite places have got to be Yuk Yuks in Toronto, Ontario, (Canada) Gotham Comedy Club in New York City, NY, and believe it or not Corridor Comedy ranks right up there with them, because like I said man.. its all about the people and the atmosphere! Words to your mother! LBF:
The Comedy ofLuke Bradley Francis W :Welcome to Weird Magazine Luke! How Tha Hellareya?
LBF: A little weirded out right now with this whole interview thing, and how come no one in your office wears pants? Ill be honest, you guys may have taken this whole “Weird” idea a little
too far.... *eyes shift from left to right*
W :LOL. How long have you been doing stand up?
LBF:Approximately 1 MILLION YEARS (give or take a few months)...
W :What is your hometown in Scotland?
LBF: My city is Glasgow, I was conceived in the famous “Armadillo auditorium”! Because me fathers libido knows NO
boundaries... such as popular public tourist traps, libraries (Where me older brother was conceived), at Hampden park (the national stadium), public transportation facilities.. the list goes on man.. Glasgow is a beautiful city. And me father REALLY thinks so, (I have seven brothers) - for an old drunk (or as he calls it, “Jyab *mumble mumble* habbbatappadabba shite *mumble* !!!) he is me Hero -I’d die for the man! HEY if any of your readers ever travel to the U.K. to Scotland REMEMBER THIS! The BEST pub in Glasgow is “POT STILL” hands down, so if you are in Glasgow.. go to “POT STILL”! (Talk to Mackie, tell him “shit-for-brains sent you” that should make you an instant friend-o-the-pub)
W : We had a good time with you in San Marcos, great show at Nicks place. What says you? LBF:: Isn’t Corridor Comedy Club the BEST? The crowds are what sold me, the people of San Marcos (excluding John Dittmar) are such great people! When I walk into Corridor Comedy, I feel like I’m at home
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get on their good side with what I thought were some friendly lesbian jokes, must have been too drunk to seem friendly, because the Newspaper called my creative and witty show an “ATTACK” ( i think that is the word they used) .. so to make a short story long... I was brutally heckled by a sea of sleeveless flannels and crew cuts..It did help though.. I can ride with the best of them now, probably wouldn’t be able to “hecklefight” so well if it weren’t for that experience. Check out www.youtube. com/ironnutsproductions and click on “Scottish The Comic vs Austin TX Heckler” and that is where my skill level is now! But, If you talk to me in person I will tell you my jokes that I told that night (and no longer use in public) its kind of a great story.. The funny part is I have some Freaking AWESOME Lesbian fans now.. We hang out and they call me “daddy” which for me to be at a pub with 9 women who refer to me as “daddy” ... IT DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT!... except I just realized that when i see 1 guy with more than 3 girls... I assume he’s gay....? ...... damn .........
W : Worst Heckler ever?
TSC: Ive never had one... no wait... OK I did a show before in Charlotte NC, and had heard it was an all lesbian club so I thought I would
continues next page
The Comedy of Luke Bradley Francis
Scottish THE Comic INTERVIEW
W : What famous comedians have you open for recently? LBF: Jimmy “JJ” Walker aka Dynomite, the funny thing is he HATES to say “DYNO-MITE” apparently it was his catch-
combat- ninjas.. they blend in .. like Chris Angel in a gaybar. W Worst tasting pussy you ever had?
TSC: OH SNAP! We are going THERE? Ok ill be honest, just between you and I Dowden, ok man? Off the record man.. ok? Alright, You PROMISE? Ok .. A homeless woman.. LOL probably because she
The occasional 4 hour Bag-
pipe solo.. Did I mention
I am like the worlds GREATEST Triangle player? I play a DEATH-METAL style triangle, you gotta hear it, I love it! My neighbors hate it, ......and come to think about it, everyone who hears it says “I hate that”, “Are you mentally challenged?”, or the old “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE LIBRARY BEFORE I CALL THE COPS” ... But they are probably just jealous! W : Let’s get together and have a pint or two and talk about the Cosmos and whether or not the human race was spawned by an Alien Seed or just an accident after a BANG. What are ye drinking?
phrase, the clubs we were at had to pay him and extra $500 JUST to say that word! Now that is funny! Angel Salazar was another of my favorites, he played “CHi Chi” in “Scarface” one of my favorite films! So getting to meet him was awesome! Not to mention that guy can KILL a crowd, his act is unlike any I’ve seen before OR after! Then there was Dave Attell... but who cares?
hadn’t bathed in several weeks but most likely because SHE HADN’T BATHED IN SEVERAL FUCKING WEEKS MAN!! WTF? Who does that? besides Nick Aluotto? Seriously though... DON’T print that.
W Have you seen the ghost of
W : Do you play the bagpipes still in your act?
Mary McGregor?
I don’t believe in ghosts, but FYI, be on the lookout for those androidhuman- alienLBF:
Sorry* couldn’t resist.
LBF: Yes I do, I play all sorts of
instruments in my set, from kids keyboards, to violins, to my faithful guitar (I still play my FIRST guitar!).
LBF: What happened to the
GOD theory? I still like that one? I don’t buy into the hype of something new, I have my beliefs, and they will always be there! What am I drinking? My favorite American beer so far is - Pabst Blue Ribbon, its funny how they are still living off the fame of a Blue Ribbon award back when Jesus walked the earth, but I like the beer! As a matter of fact Ive drank so much Pabst Blue Ribbon that I’m immune to Diarrhea ! So See! Pabst Blue Ribbon isn’t JUST bad for you anymore!! =) My favorite shot is not one I take, its one I buy for Americans, Called the “Bloody Gorilla Fart” and not only
does it sound attractive... Its horribly disgusting! If you are interested in trying one, come talk to me at the show.. Ill have the video camera ready... W : Where are you performing next? Lets see, Ive got Corridor Comedy in San Marcos TX in October (check the website, CorridorComedy. com, for dates and times) the First week of November I am in New York City, NY. to audition for NBC at their studios, then I’m on Tour with some of my fellow international comics, which includes some Colleges in Texas, I cant name them yet as the booking is still in progress. Of course in December I am in Amman, Jordan for the comedy festival, then Nick Aluotto and I are heading up to the U.K. for some quick shows and then we go right back to Amman, Jordan for another Comedy Tour ( because we like to backtrack). Which will be a BLAST man! I’m going to have soooo much fun, I love you Americans! Hey Nick doesn’t read this magazine does he?...... LBF:
mered they took off
all of their clothes , Which me and my right hand REALLY FUCKING ENJOYED (thoroughly researching).., but isn’t it funny how, those same girls fathers have ritualistically bought EVERY SINGLE Girls Gone Wild Video on Sale? I bet that’s an awkward Sunday evening phone conversation... Speaking of (researching) power slamming hoes, I may or may not need to use your restroom for an extended amount of time after this interview.... *eyes shift left to right* W : Any final words to the Weirdo’s that read Weird Magazine? LBF: Yes sir!
All of you Freaking Weirdos come out to my show at Corridor Comedy CLub in San Marcos, TX. in October! (Check out CorridorComedy. com for show details) and well get drunk and prank call people or talk about Star Wars or whatever it is you freaking weirdos do in your spare time... =) SLAINTE MATES! I love ya!!!
W : Thanks Luke. Funny ass shit man! I got a few places in mind to get you a gig in South Texas. LBF: Great! I love these damn Texans, you just tell me where the venue is and Ill be there! ... HEY, by “South Texas” do you mean MEXICO? or like, South Padre Island? Because I’ve seen some girls on those “Girls gone wild” episodes.. (for research purposes ONLY) and alot of those FINE ASS (research specimen) bitches were at South Padre Island when they were so ham
-Scottish The Comic P.S. Prank Call this number in the meantime : (323) 264-4151 lets see how creative your weirdo readers really are Dowden!
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Weird Magazine pushes gas peddle North on 281 into Central Texas area. Spreading Weird Gospel to Austin.
Weird Magazine Expands to Austin in the Rio Grande & San Marcos Valley, I feel like After 5 years in the South Texas Market; Weird boards a flying saucer and expands north for Central Texas in a last ditch effort to start a religious cult. Always spreading the Gospel of Weird, Russell Dowden Publisher and Editor for the Magazine hopes to one day become a Leader of his own polygimast cult;and has been seen in Central Texas in recent weeks cultivating new prospects for the Magazine and future wives for his off world cult of readers. Dowden, who hails from Austin Texas, see’s the opportunity to grow as a good sign.
“After doing this for 5 years
we could Publish just about anywhere”.
If you are interested in joining the AMBASSADORS OF TRUTH by getting invloved in the Magazine, contact the Publisher via phone , email or mental telepathy and we will gladly be in touch. Weird welcomes any input or suggestions to keep the weird ball of wax rolling.
Weird is a different breed of Publication and truley lives up to it’s name in many ways. The Publications Fringe topics keep it a step ahead of many other normal rags that border on the Mundane. From Paranormal topics like UFO’s, Ghost, Bigfoot, or the recent Chupacabra sightings Weird Magazine will certainly provoke thought and entertain as well. If you don’t believe in Reincarnation relax, there still might be something for you in Weird Magazine. Music has always been apart of the eccentric publications mantra. Local Music reviews and National Band Interviews continue to be a part of the the monthly magazines flavor.
You’ve heard that Keep Austin Weird phrase in recent years, and Weird started in South Austin in 2002 not long after that.
WEIRD MAGAZINE
IntErviEWS INCLUDE BANDS like GWAR, Seether, the VooDoo Glow Skulls, MiSEr and the Flobots to name a few. While the magazine is free to the public; it has always been supported by it’s local advertisers, who are the stockholders in Dowdens opinon.
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Weird will continue to maintain our office in McAllen Texas, but will also have a Central Texas branch office in San Marcos for the remainder of 2009 and all of 2010. So, if you are feeling a strong sense to join our little religious cult, start sending us positive energy and bank account numbers. And if you are a blonde about 5’6 or a brunette 5’8 and you are open to new beliefs and experimenting in mind altering adventures; whlie also making lots of weird babies in an attempt to populate a new world full of weirdos before the planet moves into the Galactic Alignment by 2012, then especially contact the Publisher, but don’t try the mental telepathy, just pick up the phone or contact us via email our website or myspace. Shazbot Nanoo Nanooo!
DAWN OF THE NEW MILLENNIA
The Hollywood Propaganda Ministry
Majority of Americans share doubts and Questions about the 9/11 attacks ment allowed 9/11 to happen, Beck and others have used the “9/11 truther” label as a smear with which to further attack Van Jones’ credibility. During his show yesterday, Beck tied Van Jones’ advocacy for 9/11 truth to his “radical, progressive and Communist nonsense” and implied that questions about 9/11 truth were held only by a small minority of mainly leftist Hollywood personalities. However, despite efforts to portray people with questions about 9/11 as some kind of lunatic fringe minority, numerous polls in the years since the attacks manifestly prove that a majority of Americans share doubts and questions about the 9/11 attacks. Those people include former presidents and respected intelligence veterans, not merely leftist progressives as Beck insinuates.
fringe belief, when in fact numerous polls show that the majority of Americans have Paul Joseph Watson questions about the Prison Planet.com attacks as the tragedy The Parliament 9/4/09 approaches its eighth of Japan, the former PresiControversial Fox News tele- anniversary. vision host Glenn Beck along dent of Italy, Citing the fact that Obama’s and widely-rewith a host of other jobs czar Van Jones, spected CIA establishment talking green who is increasingly and veteran Robert justifiably coming under fire heads are again atfrom conservatives in light of Baer have all tempting to create the his Communist rhetoric and questioned the socialist ideals, signed a perception that ques- his petition in 2004 calling for official story tioning the official a proper investigation into behind 9/11. story behind 9/11 is a whether the U.S. governForget Van Jones, The Majority Of Americans Question 9/11
Since the attacks, a top former member of Tony Blair’s cabinet, Germany’s Secretary of Defense and the founder of Reagonomics have all slammed the official story – along with a cacophony of former government, military, intelligence and political professionals. In addition, the majority of victim’s family members doubt the official story and have been pushing for a new investigation for years – as attested to by Bill Doyle, head of the largest victim’s family support group.
An October 2006
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New York Times/ CBS poll found that a paltry 16% of Americans thought the government was telling the truth about 9/11 and the intelligence prior to the attacks, meaning 84% doubted the accuracy of the official story. A May 2006 Zogby poll found that over 70 million Americans supported a new investigation into 9/11 and less than half of the American public trusted the official 9/11 story or believed the attacks were adequately investigated. The figure supporting a new investigation rose to 51% of Americans in
a September 2007 poll. In addition, the same poll found that 67% also faulted the 9/11 Commission for not investigating anomalous collapse of World Trade Center 7. As far back as August 2004, another Zogby poll established the fact that half of New Yorkers believe there was government complicity in 9/11. Van Jones has since recanted and stated that he does not agree with the petition to which he signed his name in an attempt to diffuse the controversy. However, millions of Americans across the country, a majority of people, still have unanswered questions about 9/11 that won’t be buried by the establishment’s attempt to link 9/11 truth with the increasingly discredited figure of Van Jones.
CONSPIRACY THEORY MEANS YOUR PSYCHO NOW Psychology Today Hit Piece Labels Conspiracy Thinking A Psychotic Illness Paul Joseph Watson Prison Planet.com
In an article entitled Dark Minds: When does incredulity become paranoia, Psychology Today writer John Gartner attempts to make the case that the concerns of “conspiracy theorists” are not based in reality but are a product of mental instability, while himself fulfilling every criteria for what he claims classifies such people as psychotics – ignoring evidence that contradicts his preconceptions while embracing the ludicrous “conspiracy theory” that powerful men and governments do not conspire to advance their power. Probably somewhat upset about how our coverage of the dangers associated with the swine flu vaccine has contributed to a global revolt against mass vaccination programs being readied, Psychology Today’s gravy train of big pharma advertisers will no doubt be pleased to see the publication wastes no time in savagely attacking radio host and film maker Alex Jones, dispensing with any notion of fairness and zealously going after him as early as the second paragraph. The nature of this vicious hit piece ( PDF link) is confirmed when Gartner laments that Jones refused to provide him with phone numbers for friends he grew up with, presumably frustrated that he couldn’t
dig up some dirt from an old girlfriend to throw into the mix of what is nothing more than a personal attack on Jones’ character, and a complete departure from any debate about the issues Jones covers on his radio show, which is the phony pretext that Gartner used in order to secure the interview in the first place. Gartner has trouble believing that eugenicists occupy powerful positions, even in the aftermath of the John P. Holdren story when Obama’s top science advisor was exposed as having advocated forced abortion, sterilization and mass drugging of the public. Despite the fact that we sent Gartner dozens of pieces of evidence for his article, he cites a single national security memorandum and dismisses it as “a bland policy report”. Mr. Gartner was obviously too lazy to read the entire document and/or too stupid to comprehend it.
The document to which he refers is National Security Study Memorandum 200, a 1974 geopolitical strategy document prepared by Rockefeller’s intimate friend and fellow Bilderberg member Henry Kissinger, which targeted thirteen countries for massive population reduction by means of creating food scarcity, sterilization and war. The document, declassified in 1989, identified 13 countries that were of special interest to U.S. geopolitical objectives and outlined why population growth, and particularly that of young people who were seen as a revolutionary threat to U.S. corporations, was a potential roadblock to achieving these objectives. The countries named were India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Nigeria, Mexico, Indonesia, Brazil, the Philippines, Thailand, Egypt, Turkey, Ethiopia and
Colombia. The study outlined how civil disturbances affecting the “smooth flow of needed materials” would be less likely to occur “under conditions of slow or zero population growth.” “Development of a worldwide political and popular commitment to population stabilization is fundamental to any effective strategy. This requires the support and commitment of key LDC leaders. This will only take place if they clearly see the negative impact of unrestricted population growth and believe it is possible to deal with this question through governmental action,” states the document. The document called for integrating “family planning” (otherwise known as abortion) with routine health services for the purposes of “curbing the numbers of LDC people,” (lesser-developed countries). The report shockingly outlines how withholding food could be used as a means of punishment for lesser-developed countries who do not act to reduce their population, essentially using food as a weapon for a political agenda by creating mass starvation in under-developed countries. “The allocation of scarce PL480 (food) resources should take account of what steps a country is taking in population control as well as food production,” states the document. Later in the document, the idea of enforcing “mandatory programs” by using food as “an instrument of national power” is presented. This is the quintessential example of powerful men conspiring to use eugenicist policies in order to advance their power. Gartner’s lazy claim that the document is just a “bland policy report” is manifestly absurd. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, this isn’t a “connection” that we invented out of fresh air to make our brains release dopamine, as Gartner’s bizarre hit piece goes on to claim, it’s there in black and white, but Gartner has either failed to read the whole document or has performed his own act of psychological gymnastics and summarily dismissed the
evidence because it does not fit with his preconceptions – the very charge he levels at “conspiracy theorists” in his hit piece. Gartner says conspiracy theorists are “immune to evidence” and yet he displays that very trait in this instance. It isn’t long before Gartner regurgitates the tired old cliche about people needing to create conspiracy theories and some semblance of order to make themselves feel better in a chaotic world. He even claims that “finding meaning in sometimes insignificant events” creates dopamine, an overproduction of which can lead to schizophrenia.
Of course, none of this has any relation whatsoever to powerful people planning the future of the planet that they rule (a ridiculous “conspiracy theory” in Gartner’s mind), but Gartner’s objective isn’t to disprove the claims of Alex Jones in a logical manner, it’s to denounce the messenger using convoluted and ham-fisted psychological rhetoric that isn’t even applicable. But what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. The greatest purveyors of myths and “conspiracy theories” about political events have and always will be authorities and governments. Scientists who recently investigated why so many people believed the falsehood that Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11 found that Americans wanted to believe that Iraq was connected to 9/11 because it helped them make sense of current reality. How is that any different from the claim that conspiracy theorists invent connections to help them better comprehend current events? Beyond the accusations of who invents what to justify their worldview – conspiracists and debunkers alike – are the facts. History is littered with political conspiracies that actually happened and were not the manifestation of unstable minds. Indeed, history tells us that the bigger the lie, the bigger the conspiracy, the more likely the masses are to believe it, and
governments throughout the ages have harnessed this trick to pursue their agendas since time began. In such an environment, those who aggressively question the official authodoxy, or “conspiracy theorists” as Gartner labels them, should be welcomed as a key bulwark against the kind of tyranny and oppression that has blighted the world at numerous intervals in the past, aided in no small part by the quack psychologists in the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany that classified skepticism of the state as a mental illness, an implication Gartner regurgitates in his hit piece. It was not deception on behalf of “conspiracy theorists” that convinced Germans to follow Adolf Hitler, the lies that built the Nazi tyranny came directly from the state. It was not the beliefs of “conspiracy theorists” that hoodwinked Americans into thinking Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, that particular “big lie” came directly from the lips of the President of the United States. “We’re all conspiracy theorists to some degree,” writes Gartner and never has a truer word been spoken. Gartner has to be the biggest conspiracy theorist of all because he seems to hold the ludicrous belief that powerful men do not get together and plan things, which in Gartner’s mind is a viewpoint indicative of a psychotic mind. As is always the case, the debunker, in this case Gartner, completely fails to grasp that his stance is completely out of touch with modern day sentiment. He poses as some kind of authority figure casting down his disdain upon the bedraggled minority of “conspiracy theorists” below, yet he is in the minority. It is Gartner’s twilight zone world of angelic governments who commit no sin except within the twisted minds of dangerous psychotics, in light of admitted conspiracies that continue to be exposed on an almost daily basis – the phony terror alerts, the cronyism of the banker bailout, the torture scandal, that represents a genuine display of psychotic thinking.
Page 18 • weirdmagazine.com
CONSPIRACY THEORY MEANS YOUR PSYCHO NOW threats to a free society that ever existed. As we have seen before in history, the designation of political opinions deemed to be antagonistic towards or even merely skeptical of the state as a psychological illness is a hallmark of tyranny. In the former Soviet Union, psikhushkas — mental hospitals — were used by the state as prisons in order to isolate political prisoners, discredit their ideas, and break them physically and mentally. The Soviet state began using mental hospitals to punish dissidents in 1939 under Stalin.
Gartner is really scraping
the barrel when he unearths a 7-year-old incident about a disturbed man attempting to enter Bohemian Grove carrying guns in an effort to portray conspiracy theorists, and in particular
Alex Jones, as a physical danger to society. In reality, the kind of warped thinking that Gartner embraces, that skepticism of government is a form of mental illness, is one of the most dangerous
According to official Soviet psychiatry and the Moscow Serbsky Institute at the time, “ideas about a struggle for truth and justice are formed by personalities with a paranoid structure.”
Treatment for this special political schizophrenia included various forms of restraint, elec-
tric shocks, electromagnetic torture, radiation torture, lumbar punctures, various drugs — such as narcotics, tranquilizers, and insulin — and beatings. Anne Applebaum,
author of Gulag: A History, indicates that at least 365 sane people were treated for “politically defined madness,” although she surmises there were many more.
These kind of “treatments” for the “mental illness” of being a conspiracy theorist or merely being skeptical of government were brutally enforced by quack psychologists in both the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany, a fact that Gartner, trapped in his bubble of delusion and ignorance of any evidence that contradicts with his preconceptions, claimed to be completely unaware of when we confronted him with it.
Quack psychologists like Gartner who define distrust of authorities and alternative explanations for the “official story” put out by governments who have repeatedly proven themselves to be liars as a form of psychosis are themselves as mentally unstable as their much vaunted peers – people like the insane cocaine addict Sigmund Freud and the Nazi child abuser Alfred Kinsey – and represent a far greater danger to society than the “conspiracy theorists” that they so readily seek to denigrate.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Page 19 • weirdmagazine.com
CIA MEMO EXPOSED!
September
2009 . Newmans
Gerry & Aly 4800 N 10th St. Mcallen TX 78504 956-687-7703
G erry:: Tmy work buddies. W: Favorite Local band? Aly: Chris Rivera rebel union G erry:: TPerson al use and c adiw agon
Gerry:: Southern Fu*K “Quotes of the Night”
“whaaat”
Move it or wear it!
W: Are you single? Aly: negative Gerry:: some times W: Any Tattoos? Aly: nope W: Years Bartending?
Gerry::A Back Piece.
Aly: 3
W: What makes NEWMANS Unique?
Gerry:: Too many
Aly: our Customers.
W: Favorite Night to work? Aly: Saturday Gerry:: Thurs-Sat W: Contents of Pocket? Aly: 3 Lighter Bar Tool, cell phone Gerry: TB ar Ttool, lucky r abits foot
Gerry: The people and just the crowd that hangs here. W: Have you seen La Bruja Negra? Aly: SHE IS MY ROOMATE Gerry:I dont know it was too dark. W: What is
W: Best part about being a bartender at Newmans?
your
Aly: Actually Looking fwd to going to work!
Aly: Purple Ice
Specialty Shot/drink?
Page 24 • weirdmagazine.com
Back that up right here!
Phantom Clown on Ardmore Trails?
just west of South Bend.
Phantom Clown on Ardmore Trails? I won’t go into the cryptopolitical angle here; you can read about that over at the Twilight Language blog. But I did want to alert you to a strange sighting and name game developing this summer, a bit of a Fortean distraction for you. As I have mentioned before, in “Top Ten Evil Clown Stories of 2008?, “Evil Clowns 2008?, and “Phantom Clowns Are Back”, sinister clowns are an active Fortean and cultural phenomenon.
Now, something wicked this way comes, or, at least, a new momentarily appearance of same. On August 11, 2009, WSBT 24/7 News broadcast the following breaking story, “Clown reportedly chases man near Ardmore Trail.” Police looking for a man dressed as a clown were unsuccessful in locating him early Tuesday [August 11, 2009] that’s after a driver told St. Joseph County authorities the stranger chased him around
The man called 911 shortly before 3 a.m. and said the person in a clown suit was on foot, but chasing him as he was in his truck in the 55500 block of Melrose Avenue.
The clown then disappeared back into the woods, police were told. Officers who responded to the scene were unable to locate the clown, according to 911 dispatch. Clearly, this seemingly near “abduction” case reminded me of the “Phantom Clown” cases where clowns were seen, children were threatened with kidnapping, and then the clowns seemingly vanished. So I searched around a bit. Guess what? On Thursday, August 6, 2009, there was a nearabduction of a little girl in…get this…Ardmore, Oklahoma! Daniel Armbruster of KXII-TV reported:
Ardmore Police say a 10year-old girl was riding her bike near her home Thursday evening when a man approached her and asked her to get into his car. Now a seemingly quiet neighborhood is on edge. The 500 block of H Street Southwest in Ardmore is described by residents as peaceful and a great place to raise children. But since last Thursday evening some residents have become concerned that their small neighborhood may no longer be the safe place they one believed….
Ardmore Police say the only description the little girl could provide is that the man was light Page 26 • weirdmagazine.com
skinned. They say it was the skills her parents taught her about strangers that possibly saved her life, because she refused the man’s invitation to get into his car and immediately ran home.
Ardmore, Oklahoma hav-
ing a near-child abduction and Ardmore Trail, Indiana being the focus of “clown” attention on 8-11 are bizarre and very Fortean. What name game is behind “Ardmore”?
The name Ardmore is a Gaelic word signifying high grounds or hills. John A. Keel would often point out that hilltops {literally the “keels” of the high grounds} were the best places to observe Forteana. Most of the uses of the word “Ardmore” link directly back to Ardmore, Ireland. On a hill above the village of Ardmore, Ireland, is a well-preserved 30m high, 12th-century round tower and the ruins of St Declan’s church and oratory dating from the 13th and 8th centuries respectively. One of the outer walls of the church features some stone carvings retrieved from an earlier 9thcentury building. The carvings include a very early image of a harp, and of Adam and Eve in
the garden. The Ardmore church also contains two Ogham stones (ancient alphabet message phallic carved rocks), which rest in small alcoves.
Where does “Ardmore” pop up in the USA? Ardmore, Oklahoma was named after the affluent Philadelphia suburb and historic Pennsylvania Main Line stop Ardmore, Pennsylvania, which was named after Ardmore, Ireland (the oldest Christian settlement in Ireland) by the Pennsylvania Railroad in 1873. Another Ardmore is a city in Giles and Lincoln counties in the U.S. state of Tennessee, and borders its sister city, Ardmore, Alabama. That Ardmore is a town in Limestone County, Alabama, and is included in the Huntsville-Decatur Metro Area. It is home to the Saturn
1B Rocket, at the Alabama Welcome Center, just south of the Tennessee border, on Interstate 65. On April 22, 1966, Ardmore, Oklahoma, was the site of the worst plane crash in Oklahoma history, which killed 83 people. And now a “clown” is appearing along the Ardmore Trail in Indiana. In the realm of a most bizarre coincidence, synchromysticism’s Godfather John Shelby Downard was born in Ardmore, Oklahoma. For more on “Phantom Clowns,” see Mysterious America (NY: Simon and Schuster, 2006). For more on symbolic criminal behavior, see The Copycat Effect (NY: Simon and Schuster, 2004). Source: Cryptomundo/Loren Coleman
UMMO Papers Are Aliens Living Beside Us? ship conducting ionospheric research in 1934. It was later verified that both the ship and its experiments were indeed real-world events. The first landing took place near the Basses-Alps in France. The aliens from UMMO also claimed to have built an underground base in France as well, and later to have established other strongholds, including isolated small cities, much like the aliens in the new science fiction hit “District Nine.”
Are Aliens Living Beside Us? “UMMO and the Extraterrestrial Papers” Reviewed by Sean Casteel The story of UMMO starts with a series of letters and phone calls to various Spanish UFO researchers in 1965 that purportedly came from an extraterrestrial race. While the most commonly reported method of E.T. contact is clearly by telepathy, the aliens in this case tried a more direct, decidedly earthly method of communication.
The story kicks into higher gear when two additional sightings occurred near Madrid in 1966 and 1967. In both instances, the bottom side of the ship displayed the letters UMMO as well as a distinctive pictorial mark, seen throughout the book, that resembles our own notation for Uranus. According to the introduction written by Antonio Huneeus, seven clear photos of a classic flying saucer with a large UMMO symbol were taken by one of the Spanish witnesses during the second incident. Though they were later labeled as a hoax by Dr. J. Allen Hynek’s Center for
Technology, they were determined to contain plastic sheets of polyvinyl fluoride, developed by DuPont. The catch is, however, that at the time the use of the material was restricted to the military only. So we have here the makings of another classic UFO case, one with the kind of similarities to previous cases that grounds it within the relative confines of reality while at the same time offering up newer details that add to the uniqueness of the case material. Which brings us to this recent offering from Global Communications and Timothy Green Beckley, “UMMO and the Extraterrestrial Papers.”
The book begins with a longish opening section from the early 1990s in which an Earthling named simply “Tony” exchanges letters with an alien called Mr. X in which they discuss numerous
The letters contained highly detailed discourses on such weighty topics as physics and medicine that could only have been written by experts on the cutting edge in those rarified fields that are light years beyond what a lay hoaxer could have come up with. One of the letters also predicted that a UFO sighting would occur on a certain day at a certain location in Spain, and the ship did indeed appear on schedule and at the appointed place. It was a
rare event in the annals of Ufology, a supposed alien prediction that actually came true.
The race behind the letters and activity claimed to have come from a planet named UMMO, saying that they had arrived on Earth in 1950 and had been biding their time before contacting trustworthy Earthlings. They had come in response to a weak signal inadvertently sent out into space by a Norwegian
Page 28 • weirdmagazine.com
UFO Studies in Chicago, the photographer still stands by them. Another aspect of the second sighting was a strange kind of debris left behind, what were thought at first to be small tubes of a metal resembling nickel. After being sent to Spain’s National Institute of Aerospace
aspects of life on Earth as seen from an alien perspective as well as inklings of the cosmic truth possessed by the aliens. Everything from the technical prowess of the gray aliens to the
seeding of Planet Earth by superior alien forces is discussed, as well as the ability of the aliens to exist outside of normal space/ time. This lays a convenient groundwork for the creation of mankind. The aliens talk about arriving millions of years ago to seed the primitive life forms found here and bring them up to a state of development that could be called human, then jumped ahead in time to see if their handiwork had succeeded. If not, they could also go back in time and start again. One must assume that, since we’re still here, they must have been satisfied with the results they got. The aliens also say that the humanoid form is a constant throughout the universe, something preprogrammed by the ultimate creator as the best means of sustaining intelligent life. Beckley combines the Tony/ Mr. X material with over 200 pages of detailed information and speculation on the UMMO aliens, a voluminous, meticulous package that it is difficult to summarize here. Suffice it to say it covers such fascinating ground as the sociological structure of the aliens’ society, including how their adolescents are brought to sexual maturity and their females come equipped with a built-in tendency toward masochism. That last one kind of goes off the chart in terms of Ufology weirdness, but it’s just one example of the material’s oddly resonant little moments that ring true simply because of their profound strangeness. They are so odd and eerie that they might possibly be true.
The book also includes a 403word dictionary of UMMO words and their English translation, which also tips the scales toward the bizarrely authentic. So are we dealing with some kind of elaborate disinformation campaign being carried out by
what is often called the shadow government? Is it a carefully orchestrated hoax perpetrated by some clever trickster? An experiment in sociology conducted by some think tank somewhere? Given the complex nature of both the recorded events and the highly technical content of some of the letters, it’s almost less of an effort to just recognize that the material is in some way genuine. The aliens from UMMO say they did not come to preach or to offer some kind of salvation, though they have recently communicated their disgust with our warlike ways. What-
ever the truth of their presence and mission on Earth, it is a decidedly alien truth, one that we may never completely understand from our limited perspective as mere mortals.
But reading “UMMO and the Extraterrestrial Papers” is at least a glimpse into one of the most fully developed versions of the aliens and their mindset ever offered, and should be required reading for any serious student of the subject. Take this link to buy a copy of “UMMO and the Extraterrestrial Papers” Source: http://www.ufodigest.com/ news/0809/ummo2.php
0ART OF OVERCOMING DRUG ADDICTION IS BY SETTING GOALS FOR YOURSELF 7HAT KIND OF GOALS DO YOU HAVE
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NEVER TALK TO PO PO’S!
TOP 4 REASONS TO NOT TALK TO POLICE. By Barry Cooper
The Fifth Amendment gives you the right to never be a witness against yourself. These are the top four reasons why you should never talk to the police.
Reason #1. There
is no way talking to the kops can help you. You can’t talk your way out of getting arrested. You can’t give them any information that will help you at trial. Anything you say can only be used against you and not for you. In fact, during your trial if your attorney asks an officer to repeat what you told him because it will help your case, the prosecutor can and will object because it’s hearsay.
Reason #2. Wheth-
er you are guilty or not guilty, you may still be manipulated into admitting your guilt with no benefit in return. In more than 25% of DNA exoneration cases, innocent defendants either made incriminating statements, delivered outright confes-
sions or plead guilty.
Reason #3. Even if
you are innocent and deny your guilt and mostly tell the truth, you can easily get carried away and tell some little lie or make a little mistake that can hang you. The only time you should talk to the kops is in the presents of a jury. Having citizen witnesses and a court of record ensures your words do not get twisted and minor mistakes do not jeopardize your freedom.
Reason #4.
Even if you are innocent and always tell the truth, you will always give the police some information that can be used to help convict you. Supreme Court Ohio vs. Reiner states,
“One of the Fifth Amendment’s basic functions is to protect the innocent who otherwise might be ensnared by ambiguous circumstances. Truthful
responses of an innocent witness as well as those of a wrongdoer may provide the government with incriminating evidence from the speaker’s own mouth.” Too many Americans view the Fifth Amendment privilege as a shelter for wrongdoers.
NeverGetBusted Tip: Never Talk To The Kops! Peace, Barry Cooper These four reasons were taken from the video produced by James Duane, a professor at Regent Law School and a former defense attorney.
Page 30 • weirdmagazine.com
420 Forum
His video presentation is excellent and can be found at NeverGetBusted.com.