WeirD Magazine - March 2010 - 74 - Austin/San Marcos by Weird Magazine LLC

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on ti a n ti s e d te a im lt u the

for

gaming enthusiasts video game retail hourly play

tournaments

gAme.

more.

now.

Wii XBOX

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Fade from this perceived world. Black stillness beckons to my troubled ego. But the mind is dissatisďŹ ed. A

Q: Favorite Night to work? A: Saturday Night

Q: Specialty Shot/drink? A: THE ALIBI

Q: Contents of Pocket? A: Cigs, Barkey, Ca$h

CONTENTS in DRINK: Carlos wouldn’t say the contents of the Drink. So if you want to try one Go on down to Visit him at Hudson on 5th.

Q:Best part about being a bartender at Hudson on 5th? A: Meeting New People. Since I’m new to Austin Q: Are you Single? A: Yes. I am.

QUOTES OF THE NIGHT

Q: Favorite local band? It’s ok to name a few . . . A: Lower Class Brats, and DJ Silver

“Be Careful to trust a person that doesn’t drink wine.”

Q: Hardest part about being a bartender? A: Obnoxious Frat guys!

“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”

Q: How do you like working downtown in Austin? A: Love it Man. Been wanting to for years now.

Q: AGE? A: 32 Q: Years Bartending: A: 12

Q: Any Tattoo’s? A: Yes 6! Q: Something No body knows about you? A: I’m actually a ZOMBIE movie Nerd! LOL

“Faster Faster! Untill the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of Death” “It is better to spend money like there is no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there is no money.”

cACOPHONY of idCOLDeas sets mE awash in a conceptualBORED undertow; the mind’s own orche-

WeirD Magazine Dines with the Good Fellas of Italian Cuisine in San Marcos at Italian Garden So what do you get when you mix a red and white table cloth, Frank Sinatra, bruschetta bread, chicken parmesan pasta, great service and a glass of Chianti? Add some Joe Pecci and a dash of Dinero and BADABING! You’d get any Martin Scorsese’ Film! But wait, this isn’t Hollywood. However, this is exactly where the Italian Garden takes you as the aroma of freshly baked NY Style pizza pies and sounds of Dean Martin ﬁll the room. Italian Garden offers great tasting food and affordable prices for San Martians and residents of the Hill Country. They must be doing something right at IG because they keep getting awards for their food every year.

including the University Star 2009 Best Italian. Weird Staff tried the Supreme Pizza, bruschetta bread, and Chicken Parmesian. One thing comes to mind while the tastes of Italy ﬁll the big hole in my face; “fresh!” Oh, and Uncle Polly cutting slices up of fresh garlic.

OMG. The pizza is huge and the toppings are piled on so thick and high you have to eat each slice with a fork. The Chicken Parmigiana Pasta is lightly breaded with marinara and mozzarella! The taste buds sing to the Food Gods and praise them for Italy. FAMILY HISTORY: John Zejneloski’s family had a

series of restaurants while living in New Jersey many years ago with Isabella’s Gino’s Pizza & Pasta. They also owned Aldo’s pizza and Portabella’s.After Relocating to Dallas some years ago from Jersey, the Zejneloski’s settled in San Marcos and the Hill Country in 1999 and have been feeding us ever since 2000 when IG opened it’s doors. Amen! So go on down there to the Italian Garden on 415 N. LBJ DR. San Marcos and tell them to make you a WeirD PIZZA! It has pepperonis, artichoke hearts, black olives, and jalapeño’s! YUMMY! Weird Magazine gives Italian Garden 5 EYEBALLS!!

IG was voted “Best Italian Food in Hays County in 08’ and 09’

sPAINtra threatFOODening to break my tempo. OBSERVing, without entanglement, the symphony sub-

Senate Accuses Drudge Report of Spreading Computer Malware Kurt Nimmo March 10, 2010 Democrats in the Senate are attempting to scare people away from alternative news websites by falsely claiming the sites contain dangerous software viruses. Earlier in the week the Senate Sergeant at Arms made a claim that Drudge and whitepages.com were responsible for viruses appearing on Senate computers. “Please try to avoid drudgereport.com and whitepage.com websites for now,” said an email received by staffers on the Environment and Public Works Committee. The Drudge Report was not mentioned in a subsequent email issued on Tuesday. “Our Information Security Operations Center has observed a significant increase in the number of Senate computers infected by fake security software that is malicious and does nothing to secure online information,” the email stated, according to CNSNews. According to Sen. Jim Inhofe (R.-Okla.), there is no evidence of viruses and malware originating at the Drudge Report. Inhofe, the ranking Republican member of the Environment and Public Works Committee, told CNSNews it did not surprise him that someone on the left was trying to stop Senate

staff from reading Drudge “because Drudge comes out with really good stuff and we want them to access the Drudge Report. We’re on the Drudge Report about half the time.” “I suspect somebody was trying to make it look as if there’s a virus there to discourage people from using Drudge. Then, somehow, I guess someone in the Capitol got a hold of it and said, yes, we are advising you not to use it,” Inhofe added. On Tuesday, CNet ran a story claiming visitors to the site were infected with malware. “For the second time in less than six months, visitors to the Drudge Report say they got malware in addition to the Web site’s usual sensational headlines,” writes Elinor Mills for the technology site. “Matt Drudge denied that his site was infecting visitors, however it’s likely that the malware is coming from ads delivered by a third-party ad network and not the site itself.” Rogue ads delivering viruses are common. In September 2009, The New York Times fell to an “unauthorized advertisement” warning readers that their computer may have been infected with a virus and redirected them to a site offering antivirus software. The New York Times said the offending ad was provided by someone

posing as a national advertiser with a legitimate-looking advertising product. The Senate accusation coincides with the Obama administration’s release of Comprehensive National Cybersecurity Initiative, a government plan to “secure” (or control) the nation’s public and private sector computer networks. White House Internet security adviser Howard A. Schmidt said in a statement the cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and security challenges faced by the nation, according to InformationWeek. In addition to securing government networks, the CNCI calls for “extending cybersecurity into critical infrastructure domains” in the private sector.

Obama administration for making the cybersecurity coordinator unable to testify before congress.“He’s a member of the National Security Council and cannot testify,” said Snowe, who complained that it is unacceptable to have a senior administration official who is not accountable to Congress and meets behind closed doors. Snowe and Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.) have introduced legislation that would allow Obama to take “emergency” control of the internet during a crisis. On Tuesday, Alex Jones’ flag-

On March 4, Schmidt told Wired the United States is not engaged in a cyberwar. “I think that is a terrible metaphor and I think that is a terrible concept,” Schmidt said. “There are no winners in that environment.” Schmidt acted as cybersecurity adviser during the Bush era. Rod Beckstrom, the former director of the National Cybersecurity Center, resigned in March of 2009. Beckstrom complained about the encroaching influence of the NSA on cybersecurity. In late February, Sen. Olympia Snowe, R-Maine, criticized the

sides. The current abates. Peace reigns once more. Centered, nostrils ﬂare. Inhalation. Cold air saturates my

ship websites, Infowars.com and Prison Planet.com, came under sustained attack. “Alex Jones’ websites were assaulted by a massive, organized and sustained attack today which is still ongoing as zombie computers around the world were used to launch a denial of service attack which is undoubtedly related to our ongoing efforts to expose the government’s Cybersecurity agenda as the gargantuan threat to Internet freedom it represents,” writes Paul Joseph Watson. The attack appeared to be a DoS, or Denial of Service attack.

The Organics INTERVIEW

$3.50 each or 0.99Â˘ wholesale. Call for custom stickers 877-873-9626

E D N LIA

O G N E MO

M R O W ATH Today, it is Ivan Mackerle,

had

a very strange creature.’”

character) in

a self-made cryptozoologist who travels

his book On the Trail

the world in search of scientiﬁc evidence

So Does the Mongolian Death Worm

of Ancient Man, in 1926 but he didn’t

that proves creatures like the Loch Ness

really exist, and what if it does? This

across

appear to be entirely convinced about

monster and Mongolian Death Worm

insistence by locals that worm is a reality

the arid sands of the Gobi desert,

the whole idea. Even though locals were

exist. As a boy he read the stories of the

will continue to fuel inquisitive minds

Czech explorer Ivan Mackerle is careful

desperate to relay events of when the

Russian paleontologist Yefremov, who

and as long as open-mindedness remains

not to put a foot wrong, for he knows it

dreaded worm struck, Andrews writes:

wrote about a worm, which resembled a

a fair virtue, we’re prepared to wait a little

may be his last. He scours the land and

“None of those present ever had seen the

bloody intestine, that could grow to the

longer for empirical proof of its existence.

shifting valleys for tell-tale signs of

creature, but they all ﬁrmly believed in

length of a small man and mysteriously

disturbance in the sands below, always

its existence and described it minutely.”

kill people at great distance, possibly with

Just remember, if you do decide to go

ready for the unexpected lurch of an alien

But it wasn’t to stop other inquisitive

poison or electricity.

Death Worm hunting in the Gobi desert,

being said to kill in one strike with a

adventurers taking up the investigative

sharp spout of acidic venom to the face. A

mantle when Andrews was no longer

Mackerle says: “I thought it was only

color that sends our wrinkly friend into

creature so secretive that no photographic

interested, or able to pursue the matter.

science ﬁction. But when I was in

one its trademark electrifying, spitting

university, we had a Mongolian student

freak outs. Don’t say we didn’t warm you.

Trudging

gingerly

evidence yet exists, but the locals know

don’t wear yellow, seemingly that’s the

it’s there, always waiting in silence for its

Only a few years ago, in 2005, a group

in our class. I asked him, ‘Do you know

prey, waiting to strike – the Mongolian

of English scientists and cryptozoologists

what this is, the Allghoi khorkhoi?’ I was

Death Worm.

spent a month in the hostile Gobi desert

waiting for him to start laughing, to say

searching for the fabled creature, and

that’s nothing. But he leaned in, like he

Reported to be between two and ﬁve feet

although they spoke to a number of

long, the deep-red colored worm is said

Mongolians in the area, all of whom

to resemble the intestines of a cow and

regaled wondrous stories of the worm, no

sprays a yellow acidic saliva substance at

one could verify they had seen the creature

its victims, who if they’re unlucky enough

ﬁrst-hand. Even still, after four weeks

to be within touching distance also receive

the team had gathered enough verbal

an electric shock powerful enough to kill a

evidence to be convinced that the worm

camel… or them.

really does exist. Lead researcher, Richard Freeman, said: “Every eyewitness account

Given the latin name Allghoi khorkhoi, the

and story we have heard describes exactly

Mongolian Death Worm was ﬁrst referred

the same thing: a red-brown worm-like

to by American paleontologist Professor

snake, approximately two feet long and

Roy

two inches thick with no discernable head

Chapman Andrews

(apparently

the inspiration for the Indiana Jones

or back (tail).” An interpretation of the Mongolian Death Worm by Belgian painter Pieter Dirkx

secret, and said, ‘I know it. It is

blood, particles added to the form of my body. Exhalation. Warm molecules of Self enter the stream of the

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine. For those that are new to your company What Is Green TV Texas? GTVT: Greentvtexas.com is a Green video production Co. We are a family operation working out of our home office specializing in Green Research Media for education and social outreach. We are Central Texas’s own Media voice for the Green Movement. W: What does Green TV do locally to bring about environmentally conscious solutions to the community? GTVT: We promote any and all environmentally conscious work done within the state of Texas. What this does is allow our production company to not only have a small carbon footprint but it also promotes our communities for local access and promotions that matter for our area. We strongly believe in local business and giving The Green movement here in central Texas area a big green thumbs up. We are not only leading in new technologies but it seems through the efforts of our communities we will be teaching the rest of the world how our environment gets well taken care of. Our community base is strong here and the interest coming from our out reach shows more and more people converging toward the Green friendly consciousness. By filming and interviewing the Green in our community we begin to link all of the sources for better understanding and good green commerce. W: Tantra Coffee House offers compostable cups. Weird Magazine prints on recycled paper. So this is catching on. Do you think the green movement will become the norm? GTVT: To start we think it is wonderful what you and Nathan at Tantra are doing to do your part using recycled and biodegradable goods. We here at Greentvtexas.com use no paper. It is really great with today’s giant electronic world and the internet that Greentvtexas.com may be the first production company

ever to not use one piece of paper. Greentvtexas.com also has been using cups from any coffee shop as starter cups for planting seeds a lot of to-go cups biodegrade if you put them in the right spot in the garden. Go Nathan and Family at Tantra Coffee House! W: Are companies going green because they care about the environment, or are they going green because it’s a trendy thing to do to market to environmentally

conscious consumers? GTVT: Well if you’re a company today and not thinking about the environment Good Luck. The environment is on the future’s most important top-ten list. Consumers are very smart and know this. Most people we talk to would like what is available in any aspect of green; the smart energy, technologies and great real food. People will never stop wanting to live a good healthy life. If it means green trends then so be it. Greentvtexas.com has been apart of and working for the environment since 1981. Our main concerns are to be the media platform for accessing

and studying any and all aspects of the eco-sustainable and green movement for better knowledge and good news. W: Is environmentalism the new religion? GTVT: If you mean how people are getting the real know how about the green movement and showing passion and excitement then yes. Greentvtexas.com thinks politics and religion belong were they belong and environmental classification plays in an entirely different field.

To Greentvtexas.com politics and religion are man made. The environment is something that does quite well without people. We are all responsible as care takers of the earth while we are here. W: What is Green Drinks? I understand there are over 600 green drink groups worldwide? GTVT: Well, there are two kinds of Green Drinks. There is one that tastes good and is good for you. A wide variety of nutrients and sun energy is ingested through these green drinks. The other Green Drinks is a form of social networking with

green representatives. Greentvtexas. com loves both of these types of Green Drinks. One will help you live longer and the other will help you find the answers to any one of your green questions from everywhere in the world. These networks are a great resource for anybody. W: What projects are you involved in right now? GTVT: Work for the Aquarena Center will include Earth Day celebration. We are doing community outreach and filming the green movement at large. We are also promoting the Green Living Showcase for The San Marcos TX, Chambers of Commerce’s First annual green event held at the San Marcos Conference Center Saturday, March 20 2010. We are also organizing a green film called Natural.Alt. This is a project using 100 video phones throughout our country filming what communities and programs are accomplishing working in the green environment whether it is the best way to be more efficient in producing green energy to Kids on the Green and growing education. Natural.Alt will be a must see. We are using video phones again to help with the carbon footprint. Also, this film will be a direct source for little to no budget filming, an e-book for the media savvy wanting to promote business and film building entrepreneurships. W: How can Weird Readers learn more about Green TV? GTVT: www.Greentvtexas.com Greentvtexas@gmail.com W: Thanks for your time. Be Green. GTVT: Keep a good eye out for Weird Magazine they have got it pressing on.

greater world, winds of change creating karmic ripples throughout reality. With each breath, I am made anew.

Top Theories for the Mystery of the Bermuda Triangle By Stephen Wagner In an area that stretches from the Florida coast to Bermuda to Puerto Rico, the infamous Bermuda Triangle - also known as the Deadly Triangle or Devil’s Triangle - has been blamed for hundreds of shipwrecks, plane crashes, mysterious disappearances, craft instrument malfunctions and other unexplained phenomena. Author Vincent Gaddis is credited for coining the term “Bermuda Triangle” back in 1964 in an article he wrote for Argosy magazine, in which he catalogued many of the anomalous events in the area, and several other authors, including Charles Berlitz and Ivan Sanderson, have added to their number.

the only place on earth where this occurred. Sanderson drew out elaborate charts on which he identified 10 such locations precisely distributed around the globe, five above, and five below at equal distances from the equator. MAGNETIC VARIATION This theory, proposed by the Coast Guard over 30 years ago, states: “The majority of disap-

es by as much as 20 degrees as one circumnavigates the earth. If this compass variation or error is not compensated for, a navigator could ﬁnd himself far off course and in deep trouble.” More information. SPACE-TIME WARP It’s been suggested that from time to time a rift in spacetime opens up in the Bermuda Triangle, and that planes and

However, consider the following related idea for “electronic fog.” ELECTRONIC FOG Is an “electronic fog” responsible for many of the unexplained incidents and disappearances in the infamous Bermuda Triangle? That is the assertion made by Rob MacGregor and Bruce Gernon in their book The Fog. Gernon himself is a ﬁrst-

UFOS

Whether or not phenomena of a paranormal nature are taking place there has been a matter of debate. Those who are convinced something odd is happening, as well as researchers who take a scientiﬁc view, have offered a number of explanations for the mystery. MAGNETIC VORTICES Fortean researcher Ivan Sanderson suspected that the strange sea and sky phenomena, mechanical and instrument malfunctions, and mysterious disappearances were the result of what he called “vile vortices” where, he said, “tremendous hot and cold currents crossing the most active zones might create the electromagnetic gymnastics affecting instruments and vehicles.” And the Bermuda Triangle wasn’t

magnetic navigational instruments malfunctioned and the magnetic compass spun inexplicably. As they neared the end of the tunnel, they expected to see clear blue sky. Instead, they saw only a dull grayish white for miles - no ocean, sky or horizon. After ﬂying for 34 minutes, a time corroborated by every clock on board, they found themselves over Miami Beach - a ﬂight that normally would have taken 75 minutes. MacGregor and Gernon believe that this electronic fog that Gernon experienced may have also been responsible for the famous disappearance of Flight 19, and other vanishing aircraft and ships.

pearances can be attributed to the area’s unique environmental features. First, the “Devil’s Triangle” is one of the two places on earth that a magnetic compass does point towards true north. Normally it points toward magnetic north. The difference between the two is known as compass variation. The amount of variation chang-

ships that are unlucky enough to be traveling the area at this time are lost in it. That is why, it is said, that often utterly no trace of the craft - not even wreckage - are ever found. But where do they disappear to? Another time and place? Another dimension? The physics for how this would actually take place are fuzzy at best.

With each breath, I embrace the Cosmos. -Earl Goodson

hand witness and survivor of this strange phenomenon. On December 4, 1970, he and his dad were ﬂying their Bonanza A36 over the Bahamas. On route to Bimini they encountered strange cloud phenomena - a tunnel-shaped vortex - the sides of which the plane’s wings scraped as they ﬂew. All of the plane’s electronic and

When in doubt, blame aliens in their ﬂying saucers. Although their motives are unclear, it has been suggested that aliens have chosen the Bermuda Triangle as a point at which to capture and abduct for unknown purposes. Aside from the lack of evidence for this theory, we have to wonder why the aliens would take whole aircraft and ships - some of considerable size. Why not just abduct the occupants in the same way they are said to take people from their homes in the dead of night? ATLANTIS And when the UFO theory doesn’t work, try Atlantis. One of the postulated locations for the legendary island of Atlantis

is in the area of the Bermuda Triangle. Some believe that the Atlantians were a civilization that had developed amazing advanced technology, and that somehow remnants of it might still be active somewhere on the ocean ﬂoor. This technology, they say, might interfere with the instrumentation on modern ships and planes, causing them to sink and crash. Proponents of this idea cite the so-called “Bimini Road” rock formations in the area as evidence. Yet there seems to be no evidence for the advanced technology - except, perhaps, for the incredible claim of a discovery made by Dr. Ray Brown in 1970 while scuba diving near the Bari Islands in the Bahamas. Brown says that he came upon a pyramid-like structure with a smooth, mirror-like stone ﬁnish. Swimming inside, he found the interior to be completely free of coral and algae, and was illuminated by some unknown light source. In the center was a sculpture of human hands holding a four-inch

crystal sphere, above which was suspended a red gem at the end of a brass rod. SOULS OF BLACK SLAVES The Bermuda Triangle’s deaths and disappearances are the consequences of a curse, theorized psychiatrist, Dr. Kenneth McAll of Brook Lyndhurst in England. He believed the area may be haunted by the spirits of the many African slaves who had been thrown overboard on their voyage to America. In this book, Healing the Haunted, he wrote of his strange experiences while sailing in these waters. “As we drifted gentle in the now warm and steamy atmosphere, I became aware of a continuous sound like mournful singing,” he wrote. “I thought it must be a record player in the crew’s quarters and as it continued through a second night, I ﬁnally, in exasperation, went below to ask if it could be stopped. However, the sound down there was the same as it was

everywhere else and the crew were equally mystified.” He later learned how in the 18th century, British sea captains defrauded insurance companies by tossing slaves into the ocean to drown, then cashing in on a claim for them. METHANE GAS HYDRADES One of the most interesting scientific theories for the disappearance of ships in the Triangle was proposed by Dr. Richard McIver, an American geochemist, and further espoused by Dr. Ben Clennell of Leeds University, England. Methane hydrates bubbling up from sea sediments on the ocean floor might cause ships to disappear, they say. Landslides on the ocean floor can release vast amounts of the gas, which would be disastrous because it would significantly reduce the density of the water. “This would make any ship floating above sink like a rock,” Clennell says. The highly combustible gas also could also ig-

nite aircraft engines, causing them to explode. TRAGIC BUT NOT UNUSUAL Perhaps all of the disappearances, malfunctions and accidents are no mystery at all, according to The”Mystery” of the Bermuda Triangle. “A check of Lloyd’s of London’s accident records by the editor of FATE in 1975 showed that the Triangle was no more dangerous than any other part of the ocean,” the article states. “U.S. Coast Guard records conﬁrmed this, and since that

time no good arguments have ever been made to refute those statistics. Even though the Bermuda Triangle isn’t a true mystery, this region of the sea certainly has had its share of marine tragedy. This region is one of the heaviest traveled areas of ocean in the world. With this much activity in a relatively small region, it isn’t surprising that a large number of accidents occur.” Source:Paranormal.about.com http://paranormal.about.com/od/ bermudatriangle/a/bermuda-triangle-theories.htm

By Sean Casteel The incredible story of Richard Shaver and his underground race of demonic fiends, creatures he claimed live deep below us and are said to have hijacked wonderful inventions like UFOs from alien visitors eons ago, has almost never been completely told. But thanks to researchers and publishers like Timothy Green Beckley, who believes that not every strange object seen in the sky has to be from outer space, an entire series of books has been saved from obscurity after a half century in oblivion and has once again been brought into the light of day.

“The Hidden World,” volumes one through six, are part of a set of sixteen original books that were first published in the 1960s and have become rare collector’s items since that time, often selling for as much as $80 per volume through rare book dealers. The books – all around 200 pages long, with colorful covers and printed in large format editions – detail a vast underground world hidden from view and known only to a handful of surface dwellers, mortals who are thought to be utterly mad because they claim to hear voices being projected at them by the ancient “telog” machines operated by the “dero.”

And who are the dero? To find that answer, one must go back nearly seventy years to a moment when, by some otherworldly form of literary grace, Richard Shaver’s sloppily typed manuscript was rescued from total oblivion by an editor with acute hearing who was somehow fated to bring to light a mystery that still thrives among some Inner Earth enthusiasts even now in the 21st century. The story goes like this: It was December of 1943. A man named Ray Palmer was an editor for a magazine publishing house called Ziff-Davis and in charge of several

pulp magazines. One day at work, he heard another editor drop a letter in his trashcan with the words, “The world is sure full of crackpots!” Palmer was to write later that he could hear the other editor’s contemptuous remark through the wall between their offices and that he decided to look at the letter himself. The letter contained a key to understanding an ancient language called Mantong, said to be the father tongue of all human languages on earth. After experimenting a little with some of the claims made about the alphabet of Mantong, and being

surprised to see that the letter writer’s theories were indeed correct, even when working with languages other than English, Palmer decided to publish the letter. “The results made publishing history,” Palmer later wrote, “insofar as pulp magazines were concerned. Many hundreds of letters poured in, and the net result was a letter to Richard S. Shaver asking him where he got his alphabet. The answer was in the form of a 10,000 word manuscript, typed with what was certainly the ultimate non-ability at the typewriter, and entitled ‘A Warning To Future Man.’”

Palmer read Shaver’s manuscript and marveled that Shaver was making no attempt to “sell” his work but instead seemed to be operating out of a sincere desire to warn mankind about the underground race Shaver called “the dero.” Dero was a combination of the words “degenerate” and “robot,” and those wicked dwellers inside the earth were to be described in exacting detail by Shaver for many years to come. Palmer took Shaver’s lengthy letter and used it as the basis for a 31,000 word article called “I Remember Lemuria!” and published it in the magazine “Amazing Stories.” Palmer continued to publish Shaver’s work for many years, often to the dismay of his magazine’s loyal readership, who expected to read the latest pulp science fiction stories, not an allegedly nonfiction piece that seemed to be the ravings of a semiliterate lunatic. But there were also those readers who took Shaver’s account very much to heart, and the magazines bearing Shaver’s stories on the cover sold phenomenally well, to the extent that the magazine exhausted its wartime ration of pulp paper and could not print enough copies to meet the demand. It is that element of the reading public who responded so enthusiastically to Shaver’s claims that concerns us here. Shaver had tapped into something, a way of viewing the world and its inherent evil, that struck a chord deep inside many thousands of people who could relate to his story, no matter how bizarre, as being within the realm of their own experience.

And just what was something decidedly to flee the voices. He left Shaver’s story? What had more telepathic, the inner his home in Detroit and happened to him that in thoughts of the men who traveled elsewhere, but the telling moved so many toiled beside him. From the voices followed him people to say they’d been there, he began to hear wherever he went. He there as well? As Shaver the voices of people being came to understand that himself relates it in the voices were being an early chapter of projected from an “...he began to hear the “The Hidden World, underground world voices of people being Number One,” and that the voices he was working knew he was listening tormented, screaming in on an automobile and were planning agony and begging for assembly line in his destruction. mercy – like the sounds of Admittedly it all Detroit using a spot welder in the sounds like the hell itself.” early 1940s when typical delusions he began to hear of a paranoid voices that seemed to tormented, screaming in schizophrenic, but when be emanating from his agony and begging for you factor in the story’s welding tool. At first he mercy – like the sounds of popularity with readers, thought it was a fellow hell itself. you are forced to take worker nearby, but he soon another look at it from a realized he was hearing His next move was to try more sympathetic angle.

Most people, while they are understandably hesitant to admit it, would likely agree that they have at some time suffered the oppression of evil forces one might compare to Shaver’s “dero.” No one, it seems, has been exempted from a kind of mistreatment that appears somehow to come from another part of existence we cannot define and certainly cannot control. People’s personal demons usually seem real enough to them, but talking about them openly is rarely done in polite company. Shaver crossed that line, risking ridicule and public shame, and surprisingly received a resounding response from fellow sufferers who knew exactly where he was coming from. The monsters called the dero were the completely insane remnant of a race that had existed before mankind on earth. The rays of the sun began to pour down harmful radiation, so some of the earlier race escaped in ships while the less fortunate among them were forced to go underground and live in a system of caves that had existed since the beginning of time. The dero retreated too late to spare themselves from the madness caused by the poisonous rays of the sun, but they did manage to take with them many of the super-advanced machines their race had developed. With these machines they were able to cause evil and madness on the surface where mankind had come to dwell. They could force hapless humans to do unspeakably wicked things to their fellow man. The dero also possessed a form of technology called “Stem” that could induce deviant

sexual feelings in surface dwellers and lead them to acts of perversion and rape. Mankind had always had its own capacity to sin, but the dero caused that evil to rise to monstrous extremes.

complete text of “I Remember Lemuria!” is also included in Volume One, so that the reader can experience firsthand the story that launched Shaver into the pulp magazine stratosphere.

This was what Shaver was laboring so hard to warn mankind about, to alert them to the very real presence of an egregious enemy lurking beneath their feet. He would spend the rest of his life in this effort, writing many thousands of words to further elaborate on his claims. As mentioned earlier, Timothy Beckley, the publisher of the “Hidden World” series, has gathered together a huge portion of the writings of Shaver and his mentor Ray Palmer into a sixteenvolume set, of which the first six volumes are currently available. When it is completed, it will be the most thorough document of what has come to be called the Shaver Mysteries ever compiled.

About his reading public, Shaver writes, “To me, struggling to find an opening out of the morass (no longer just for myself, but now for all mankind), the flood of letters I received from other sufferers was a crushing blow, bringing hopeless despair. The caverns were not, I realized now, a localized thing – they extended underneath every area of the earth. The evidence of their activity and strength piled up, until I could not help but conclude that there is no answer for present day man. He cannot break their power over him, nor remedy the ills they visit upon him.”

Volume One includes Ray Palmer’s firsthand account of how he discovered Shaver’s initial letter and made the momentous decision to actually publish it. Palmer also recounts visiting Shaver and his wife in their home; Palmer actually heard a few mysterious voices himself during his stay there. One can also read Shaver’s account of how he first began to hear the voices of the dero in his own words. T h e

Shaver also writes in a similar pessimistic way about the UFOs, which first received worldwide attention with Kenneth Arnold’s sighting in 1947, a few brief years after the publication of “I Remember Lemuria!” “The visits of the saucers bring with them, for me, fresh despair. For I see them as proof of the caverns’ contact with space.

Knowing the cave people, I know that if any of the visiting saucers were benevolent visitors bringing gifts and scientific knowledge to the surface people, they would be destroyed. To me, that explains the failure to contact our surface government, because those saucers that are not destroyed are our ancient enemies.”

“The visits of the saucers bring with them, for me, fresh despair. For I see them as proof of the caverns’ contact with space.” What Shaver is talking about is something similar to a concept first put forth by alien abduction researcher Budd Hopkins. Hopkins coined the phrase “confirmation anxiety” to describe what happens when an abductee finds proof of the reality of his experiences, such as seeing a mark left behind on his body after recalling that a skin sample has been taken during an

abduction episode. A person needs to have some part of his mind in a state of doubt to function as a hiding place where he can call what he has experienced unreal. Since an abductee is often in a dreamlike state while the experience is happening, he has the luxury of filing the experience away in the “unknown basket” and maintaining a more normal connection with everyday reality. When something happens to drive the troublesome memory into a place where the abductee cannot deny that something frightening and strange has really happened to him after all, when his dreams are “confirmed” for him, a whole new kind of anxiety kicks in. For Shaver, the mass outpouring of letters his writings received and the coming of the flying saucers a few years after his story was made public were not a consolation or a vindication but rather an unimpeachable testimony to the reality of his tormenting voices. He suffered despair on a whole new level, because now there really was nowhere to run, no way to deny the widespread nature of a phenomenon he halfhoped was a misfortune limited to just himself alone. But

course there remains

an audience eager to know about the mysteries that so burdened Shaver. Timothy Beckley of Global Communications has made a sort of cottage industry out of interest in the Inner and Hollow Earth theories, saving some old and rare books from obscurity and publishing up-to-date compendiums written by more recent researchers. His most popular titles dealing with this subject include: “Twilight, Hidden Chambers Beneath The Earth,” by T. Lobsang Rampa; “Underground Alien Bio Lab At Dulce: The Bennewitz UFO Papers”; “Admiral Byrd’s Secret Journey Beyond The Poles,” by Tim Swartz; “Reality Of The Serpent Race And The Subterranean Origin Of UFOs,” by Branton; “Best Of The Hollow Earth Hassle,” by Mary J. Martin; and “Finding Lost Atlantis Inside The Hollow Earth,” by the late British writer Brinsely Le Poer Trench, the Earl of Clancarty. And so it is left to us, decades after the deaths of Shaver and Palmer, to try to pick up the pieces and understand Shaver’s torture in ways that can help us to deal with the very vocal evils of our own time. And Global Communications’ ambitious reprinting of the complete writings of Richard Shaver can help us in that endeavor, one volume at a time. www.seancasteel.com

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine Bernie. BD:Thank you so much!! W: Well tell us about yourself. BD: I love to shock people... i just turned 40 in January! yep! now that is weird... but i always looked to young for my age. when i was 21 people though i was 16 ALL the time. i hated it then.. I LOVE it now! W: How did you get into modeling? BD: I have been modeling on & off since i was about 11 years old. i was in beauty pageants from 12 years old. i really think it was great for leaning poise. i was miss Teen San Diego U.S.A. in 1988 & was in the top 15 of miss Teen Calif. 1988.

I moved to Los Angeles to model. I found it difficult to get work in the 1990’s. i am petite so often over looked by casting agents.. Because of this i decided to work on the other side of the camera doing hair & make up on photo shoots. i LOVED it. The funny thing was, Photographers were always asking me to show the models how to pose. One day Danielle Bedic’s, most famous for shooting Dita Von Teese, asked me to com & sit for a light test. Well, i did & i posted the photo on the net to try & win free tickets to a rockabilly weekender. The modeling offers cam flooding in. I was so afraid they would be disappointed when i showed up! Nope they would ask me to come back for more modeling. it has been wild!

own personal style. i try to make things body concious for all shapes & sizes! I have most of the range on my site & you can get some on BABYGIRLBOUTIQUE.COM & PINUPGIRLCLOTHING.COM. W: Ok. So what’s in your CD player in the Car right now? BD: Charlie Feathers, Crazy Cavan & Johnny Burnette!! W: Lets talk about what kind of music gets you going? Ever hear of the Koffin Kats or The Flamtrick Subs? BD: I have heard of Flametick Subs.=) I am really into what ever just moves me so it can be anything from Louis Prima or Charlie Feathers to the Cramps. I love to dance so if it makes me feel like dancing i like it! W: Hot Cars. Rockabilly Music. Pin Up Style. It really has a culture of it’s own. Would you agree? BD: Yeah! It sure does! W: Well you are right in the middle of that culture yourself. Ever get compared to Betty Page?

W: Did you have a favorite style growing up as a kid or young adult? BD: 1950s juvenile Deliquent style. Rolled jeans, knit pullovers, pencil skirts & a ponytail. W: What are some of your favorite shoots to do? BD: I LOVE lingerie shoots! wearing high heels & stockings & corsets! W: Why do I have a sudden urge to be a Banana? BD: What?? Maybe when i want to split (get lost) heheheheee W: Tell us about your clothing line. How can folks get this cool merch? BD: My whole line is a reflection of my

BD: heeheee, it is a on going battle to this day, Bettie Pages fans either love me or hate me... I do know Bettie herself enjoyed my work. She told me herself in an email. Honestly I was shocked to get comments like “ you look so much like Bettie Page” Honestly thought people were ignorant & all they could see my hair cut. I cut my hair this way because in 1993-94 i saw a fashion spread in Vogue magazine of Linda Evangelista & she had a short fringe & i LOVE her. My father is

Filipino & my hair is naturally almost black..I NEVER in my wildest dreams though i looked like Bettie Page. I have had friends i thought did & known girls that thought they did. & contrary to people who think they “know me & all about me” have no idea, i did not study Bettie Page’s films, pix or any of her at all.. I do remember the first time i saw photos of Bettie Page at a yard sale & i recall thinking she reminded me a bit of my mother, who was a dancer.

just to try to order some of your clothing line?

I did not have a computer till 1999. & at that time i ONLY used it to shop ebay. i had no clue about searching the internet for photos. I didn’t even know who Dita Von Teese was till 2003! If you know me & i mean really know me, i am not as confident as people may think. I would never looked & bettie & be they type of person to say “Oh ya i look like her” it is hilarious to me... But the more i heard it & the more mean emails i got ( about 2 a year) i became curious, & yes, i can see the resemblance now & it is erie. Even for me..

BD: Sure! Never compare yourself to anyone else. Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes!! there is no secret to my success. I did not know anyone who “made it happen” Do not get confused & think networking will get you to the top. Other wise i would not have had a chance.

BD: I run my own website. BernieDexter. com i check emails all day every day! W: Thanks Bernie. You are HOT! BD: You are welcome & i think YOU are COOL too Russell! ;) W: Any advice to Weird Magazine readers wanting to break out into modeling?

W: Good Girl or Bad Girl? Which describes you best? BD: That is a good one! I started out a very good girl, then got wrapped up in being a bad rockabilly girl in my 20’s. but only to defend myself on the scene. the girls use to be really nasty to me.. finally i was fed up with it, it took too much energy to be that way. so i am a good girl. I am compassionate & i feel for people. I am a humanist & realist. I do not have time for negative energy, jealousy or abuse in my life =)

Shoot as much as possible even if it is your mom, boyfriend or best friend & post pix on the net. That was all i did and it has changed my life. Oh & never go to photo shoots alone or with someone you do not know!! W: Look us up Bernie when you come to Austin. We’d love to take you to the Continental Club. BD: Ohhh I would LOVE IT!!! I LOVE Texas! Thanks for this opportunity to speak to Weird readers. Check out www.berniedexter.com for more info.

W: I’m falling in love i think. Tell us how people can get in touch with you for modeling products or 19

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine Collin. Tell us a little about yourself.

CW: I love art and anything creative. My professional training was as an attorney (I actually practiced law for 7 years), but once I discovered painting, I never looked back. I jumped right into the Austin art scene and

W: We met you last year at the Day of the Dead Festival. Do have a preferred style? How did you get into the Dia de los Muertos? CW: I have always been fascinated with Mexican folklore and when I started painting, it just seemed natural to throw in a few skeletons. My second collection of work is based on El Dia de Los Muertos (The Day of the Dead). These paintings are a lighthearted celebration of the traditional Mexican holiday. My Day of the Dead paintings are fun and make people smile. While not as serious as my trees, I love having both types of artwork on display at the same time. My skeletons definitely get people’s attention! learned from more established Austin artists as I went along (asking lots and lots of questions). When my children are at school, I jam-pack as many creative projects into my day as possible. W: You art is beautiful and quite unique. Describe your style. CW: I would describe my style as kind of “contemporary folk art.” The subject matter has been around for quite some time, but I try to put a new, contemporary twist on it.

W: Where can people see your art on display in March and April? CW: I am currently busy at work creating new stuff for my spring shows. All of my artwork is at my home studio right now. I will be out and about doing shows again at the beginning of March. W: Name some of your artistic influences. CW: George Rodrigue (his Blue Dog series), Gustav Kilmt and Jose Guadalupe Posada

W: Tell us about your Tree of Life Collection of works.

W: What inspires Collin Welsch?

CW: My Tree of Life Collection is my more serious body of work. Trees of life often appear in folklore, culture and fiction, often relating to immortality or fertility. My trees are painted in an abstract manner with intricate detail.

CW: I am inspired by talented and creative people… people who look at life a little differently and see things in unique ways. I am inspired by other people’s artwork too. It can be anything from a cool new song on the radio to a funky

mosaic statue I see at a local artshow. W: Can you name some events or festivals where your art will be featured this Spring? CW: I will be at Arts in the Square in Frisco, Texas March 6th & 7th. I am participating in the Deep Ellum Arts Festival in Dallas Texas over Easter weekend (April 2nd, 3rd and 4th). My paintings will be on display April 10th and 11th at The Woodlands Waterway Arts Festival in the Houston area. On April 24th and 25th I will be back in Austin, showing my work at Art City Austin. My final show of the season is the Spring Pecan Street Festival, which will be held on May 1st and 2nd. W: Weirdest thing you’ve ever painted? CW: I get crazy requests all the time. Most likely, it was a commission for a skeleton painting involving a married couple, a camping trailer and a police officer with a billy club.

University of Texas undergraduate program. After attending law school in Houston, I moved to Austin permanently in 1998. W: Thanks Collin. Tell Weird readers how they can contact you for an art show or to purchase paintings! CW: Readers can go to my website: www.collinwelsch.com. W: Thanks Collin. Have a great year! see you at Pecan Street Festival!

W: Weird Magazine needs a painting for the Office. UFOs, Aliens, or political satire or Dick Cheney’s Underwear. Any Ideas? CW: Dick Cheney as a skeleton (in his underwear). W: Are you from Austin? You sure do your part to Keep Austin Weird. CW: I was born and raised in Wharton, Texas. I first came to Austin when I attended the 21

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine guys! KK: Hello! Happy to be here. W: So, tell us what’s new with the Kats? KK: A few things actually. I’m currently recovering from a wild weekend in which Tommy did his ﬁnal two shows with us. He’s leaving due to some things going on in his personal life and we now have our buddy EZ Ian joining the band to ﬁll Tommy’s stinky shoes haha. We’re also gearing up to leave for a US and Canada tour in March and that will lead us into Our European tour in May.

W: We caught you guys in McAllen a year or so ago. Any plans to be in Austin or Texas soon? KK: Well at this point in time I’m still waiting for a few more dates to come in. We certainly will be making some stops in Texas. We always have a blast in Texas and touring through there has been a staple of our tours since the beginning. W: We saw your performance and interview in Psychobilly Sickness. That was a cool documentary. Were you guys happy about the way it came out?

KK: With us being such a young band at the time it was really cool to get that kind of promotion. I always enjoy music documentaries and I hope that the Sickness one helped open up a few more eyes to this genre. W: Tell us about the Music a bit. Who are some of your inﬂuences? KK: My music writing is a product of what I grew up listening to and my ever expanding interest in learning about other styles and their history. I’ve always been a huge Bad Religion fan. Started out listening to punk and discovered the Stray Cats

and Reverend Horton Heat which then I found out that there were all kinds of “psychobilly” bands out there and I was able to order a lot of hard-to-get cds at the time because I worked at an indie record shop in high school. I can honestly say I was the only kid who had Demented are Go and Asmodeaus cds in his backpack haha. W: How do you think the genre of music Psychobilly is moving forward? KK: Honestly I have seen some really awesome bands bringing there own style to the scene -

showing up here and there in newer bands. I really loathe the way it’s becoming more and more common place to wear your emotions on your sleeve and cry about everything wrong in your life. There have always been songs about hard times and heartbreak but the delivery of them was way less pussiﬁed back in the day. I just really hate emo bands hahah. W: Drunk in the Daylight and Chaos are great tracks off the album. Do you guys have any favorites of your own music? KK: Well thanks! I always like our weird stuff... the ones that ya don’t necessarily expect to come off the album. Meltdown, Blue Eyed Drug, Heading off to Battle are a few. W: What is in your CD player in the car now?

W: How is the new tour going in 2010? KK: Well I guess ill have an answer for ya if we meet up in Texas! At this time we haven’t left yet. I can say it’s projected to be a kickass time haha. W: I see there are shows in Texas in Dallas and Amarillo on May 3rd and 1st. Wish we could get you guys here in Austin on May 2nd. KK: We’ll go to any city that has a club or promoter that will book us. We have had many good times in Austin and it certainly would be great to get there on this run. We’ll be back eventually. We always come back at least once a year. W: How many years has the band been together now? KK: This June will be the 7th year.

KK: Ill tell ya the 5 cds i currently have in my truck: Bad Religion, The Quakes, Morrissey, Django Reinhardt, & Waylon Jennings.

W: Why the name Kofﬁn Kats? How did the story of the name come about?

KK: My friend and main tattoo artist, Sam Wolf, thought of the name. We were hanging out and joking about what’s the most cliche band names real or made up. He said Kofﬁn Kats. I thought it was funny... then about a month later I started playing with Tommy and we needed a band name. So, when people ask me the meaning of the name... I really don’t know what to say other than “it’s catchy?” W: Weirdest thing to ever happen to you on stage?

W: Beer, Babes, Bongs. What mota-vates the Kofﬁn Kats? KK: I think you just said the answer in the question! I do actually care about the fact that some people are interested in the music we write. Seeing the crowds getting larger the more we tour and the cds and merch sales getting better helps too haha. It’s just nice to see proof that people actually enjoy the product of what I enjoy the most. Making music and having a good time. W: Thanks Guys! Rock On.

KK: Besides an occasional black out and coming to only wearing boots and underwear and still playing the set? I’d have to say it completely tripped me out to see people singing along to our songs while we played on our ﬁrst trip to Europe. Really never saw that coming let alone anybody really knowing who we were. Gotta love the way the internet has opened up the doors to being able to access any band or style of music anywhere in the world.

KK: Thank you for having us and a big ole’ Thank Ya! To anyone who took the time to read about us!!

The Koffin Kats PO Box 815 Garden City MI, 48135 My Space-Myspace.com/Koffinkats Website-www.Koffinkatsrock.com

SMiles Lewis and

Anomalous Austin

WeirD: Welcome to Weird Magazine. It’s been a while. Tell readers about the Anomaly Archives. SAI: Hi Russell. It’s great to talk with you again. Thanks for the opportunity to tell you readers about the Anomaly Archives. The Anomaly Archives is the lending library of the Scientific Anomalies Institute (S.A.I.), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that seeks the preservation and dissemination of scientific research into anomalous phenomena, research into and analysis of our accumulated collections and the education of the public regarding scientific investigations into these many mysterious phenomena. Our collection houses over 2000 books as well as research materials that includes videos, government documents, magazines, and personal correspondence donated from a variety of people in the UFO and paranormal research fields. Along with the

S.A.I. collection, we also house the collections of Austin MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) and INACS (Institute for Neuroscience And Consciousness Studies). We house many great books that discuss a wide range of scientific subjects including UFOs and Ufology, Consciousness, Parapsychology, Fortean Phenomena, ParaPolitical Science, Human Potential, and Jungian Theory. Also located on site are thousands of books belonging to the Jung Society of Austin, devoted to the psychological theories of Dr. Carl Gustav Jung. We have a wealth of information on a wide variety of strange phenomena available for free to the public and dues paying members can check out books to read at home. We also sponsor local lectures and workshops on these subjects including past events featuring former military remote viewer Paul Smith as well as a Texas Ghost Lights Conference with guest speakers including British earth lights researcher Paul Devereux, Texan

paranormal bigfoot investigator Rob Riggs, British transplant and Fortean Cryptozoologist and Ufologist Nick Redfern, myself and others. WeirD: What are the hours the public can visit? SAI: Right now we are open most Saturdays from 1-5pm. Though there is often someone on-site during normal weekday business hours, interested folks should contact me ahead of time (miles@anomalyarchives.org) before dropping by unannounced. We hope to begin offering expanded weekday and weekend hours very soon. Folks can come visit us at our new location in North West Austin near the intersections of Research and Technology Blvds: 12593 Research Blvd., Suite 302 Austin, Texas 78759 WeirD:How long have you been conducting the Archive? SAI: Well, I’ve been collecting books

on strange phenomena all my life. I had dreamed of starting my own paranormal research organization for a long time and in 2003 we officially incorporated with the State of Texas. By 2006 we’d been approved by the IRS as an official tax-exempt community group. So officially I guess I’ve been coordinating the Archives for about 7 years now. WeirD: So tell us SMiles... Bigfoot, UFOs, men in black, aliens from space, is there truth to any of these legends? If so, can we learn more through the Austin Anomaly Archives? SAI: As you know Russell, there is at least a little truth in all of those mysterious legends and a whole lot of speculation surrounds each of them. Yes, there is a lot to be learned about these mysteries from the materials at the Anomaly Archives. Most people don’t think of Texas when they hear about bigfoot but I’ve said for years that any big discovery about

these elusive creatures is very likely going to come from research done here in Texas. Our big state has a long history of bigfoot sightings with a wide variety of regional names associated with these creatures including Wild Man, Hairy Man, Swamp Ape / Skunk Ape, Wooly Booger, to name just a few. The Piney Woods of East Texas’ Big Thicket have apparently played home to a number of such human / bigfoot encounters as documented in Rob Riggs’ excellent book In the Big Thicket: On the Trail of the Wildman. Texas has one of the best organized bigfoot investigation groups in the country: The TBRC - Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy is a non-profit outfit doing some of the best ongoing instrumented cryptozoology field research not just in Texas’ Big Thicket but also into the forests that spread from here into Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana. They also have one of the best annual bigfoot conferences in the country, previously held in Jefferson and most recently in Tyler. In fact for a time, Texas was home to two annual bigfoot events, one put on by the TBRC and one hosted by another fantastic Texas bigfoot hunter named Chester Moore Jr., called the Southern Crypto Conference.

believed to be a yeti hair and that the scientists in the Natural History Museum in London couldn’t identify it as any known animal. National Public Radio’s Talk of the Nation: Science Friday - 9/27/02 Folks should check out the recent fi lm released in 2008, Wild Man of the Navidad. It’s a nicely done retro horror movie based on stories of bigfoot-like wild people from the Navidad region northwest of Victoria. And let’s not forget the Hairy Man Road legends in Round Rock which now has its own yearly festival. UFO (and Parapsychology) research are the Anomaly Archive’s strong suit and

a lot of nonsense surrounding belief in UFOs, there is much we can learn about ourselves, humanity at large and the nature of perception and reality by studying the phenomenon. I personally think that it is highly likely that humanity has been in contact with a wide variety of intelligences (be they extraterrestrial, interdimensional, cryptoterrestrial, time travelers, what have you) through phenomena variously described as UFOs, phantom airships, mysterious lights, spiritual encounters with angels and demons all manner of mysterious interactions. There is a wealth of cutting edge science that could possibly explain these and other strange events, and the Anomaly Archives seeks to

WeirD: Do you have any projects going on in addition to the Anomaly Archives you’d like to let our readers know about? SAI: I’ve been streaming my own webradio station since late 2000. During the past 10 or so years I’ve hosted a variety of terrestrial and internet-based radio shows. For a while I co-hosted the Thursday evening news on Austin’s KOOP 91.7fm radio station. I even co-hosted a show with you for a while back in 2002 or 2003. Beginning in about 2006 I relaunched my webradio station as the Anomaly Radio Network. The station features an eclectic assortment of live and prerecorded paranormal and parapolitical shows produced by myself and friends of mine from around the country. Among the many fi ne programs on the network you can hear Greg Bishop’s Radio Misterioso, Robert Larson’s Out The Rabbit Hole, Raymond and Joe’s Disinformation, John Greenewald Jr.’s Black Vault Radio, Mike Watt’s The Watt From Pedro Show, Scott Horton’s AntiWar Radio, plus a whole lot more.

The Anomaly Archives has a sizable section of books and videos devoted to Cryptozoology and the hunt for bigfoot, Sasquatch and Yeti. I realize that many people fi nd it very difficult to believe in bigfoot, but consider this: legendary primatologist Dr. Jane Goodall even thinks there is good evidence for the existence of an undiscovered North American primate... Dr. Goodall: Well now, you’ll be amazed when I tell you that I’m sure that they exist. Ira Flatow: You are? Dr. Goodall: Yeah. I’ve talked to so many Native Americans who all describe the same sounds, two who have seen them. I’ve probably got about, oh, thirty books that have come from different parts of the world, from China from, from all over the place, and there was a little tiny snippet in the newspaper just last week which says that British scientists have found what they

but more often than not there is an absurd trickster-like quality to their behaviors and their very existence seems more like that of a ghost or some other-worldly denizen. The late John Keel (one of the best writers on the subject of UFOs) did much to popularize the notion of the MIB with his book The Mothman Prophecies. He and a handful of other writers described the reports they’d received of UFO witnesses encountering these often menacing Men In Black. However, these UFO writers, Gray Barker, Jim Moseley, Timothy Green Beckley and John Keel, could all be said to have their own sort of Tricksterish quality about them. <wink>

represent our largest collection. We have hundreds of books on the subject of Unidentified Flying Objects, Alien Abductions, and related areas of research. There are many approaches to understanding the UFO phenomenon including advanced secret technology, mysterious natural phenomena, etc., but of course it is the possibility that some sighting reports represent NOT “UFOs” but “IFOs” in the form of supposed alien spacecraft that gets most people excited about “Flying Saucers.” Despite there being

educate the public about these new scientific discoveries and old esoteric knowledge. As for the MIB (Men In Black), yes, there are many stories of these bizarre shadowy figures who seem to arrive and depart more like phantoms than supposed government alphabet agency men. Some times these sinister personages seem very much like FBI types, presenting false credentials, intimidating witnesses, stealing evidence such as UFO photographs,

Every Sunday night my good friend and comic artist Mack White and I host PsiOp-Radio live from 7-9pm CST. Besides Anomaly Radio, the show is also carried on the American Freedom Radio and Revere Radio networks. Anomaly Radio is not affi liated with the Anomaly Archives lending library. WeirD: You know Alex Jones of Austin, what do you think of his latest film “Fall of the Republic”? SAI: Yes, of course. I’ve been following Alex Jones’ career since the late 1990s. It’s been amazing to watch his rise to

prominence over the past 10 plus years. We have several of his documentaries available at the Anomaly Archives. In fact, two of our earliest large donations of books came from Mike Hanson and Chris Athanas. Mike Hanson was one of Alex’s earliest assistant producers and fans will remember him as the honorable man who snuck into Bohemian Grove with Alex. Chris Athanas was a then prolific Austin Community Television producer and staunch defender of liberty. Both Hanson and Athanas have graciously donated a number of books on a variety of topics to the Anomaly Archives. Fall of the Republic is Alex’s best produced documentary to date. With each new fi lm he raises the bar on parapolitical / conspiracy documentary fi lmmaking. It also doesn’t hurt that in FOTR he is perhaps the most CALM he has ever appeared in any of his fi lms. This toning down of his usually overly dramatic persona has defi nitely made he and his message much more accessible to a wider audience. WeirD: Is there really a nefarious element deep within American Government or on a global scale that wishes to enslave humanity as portrayed in George Orwell’s hellish nightmare predicted in his book, 1984? SAI: I think it is incredibly naive to think that people in power would limit their activities to only philanthropic pursuits. History is fi lled with examples of the Powers That Be colluding and conspiring to not only keep the power they have but to seek greater and greater levels of power. Empires throughout history have risen and fallen on the backs of conspiracies perpetrated by cabals of the rich and powerful. Various individuals and groups have conspired with designs on conquering and controlling the world. Very often this is accomplished not just through overt and obvious military might but through economic and psychological warfare which most people don’t even recognize as being used against them. So while the tyrannical techniques described by Orwell in 1984 are mirrored in our growing Big Brother surveillance society, I think the evidence is equally clear that through accident AND design, a Brave New World Order “scientific dictatorship” as described by Aldous Huxley is the new preferred model for controlling populations.

I should add that “the views and opinions expressed by myself are not necessarily those of the Anomaly Archives or its board of directors.” LOL! WeirD: What are your thoughts on Climategate? And have you seen Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura on truTV? SAI: Climategate is a perfect example of how science is NOT supposed to operate. Science is about making observations, testing hypotheses, asking questions and applying the answers to make useful predictions about the world around us. But science has always been politicized and weaponized, so this recent scandal is nothing new. However, whatever the true nature of global climate change and humanity’s influence on those changes, there should never be a climate of fear surrounding open discussion about the scientific research investigating those climatological processes. So far I’ve only seen one episode of Jesse Ventura’s new Conspiracy Theory TV show, and it wasn’t the one on HAARP and weather control. However, I believe that episode featured researcher Jerry E. Smith whom I’ve interviewed on my radio show about his excellent resource, Weather Warfare, which details the facts and history of human modification of the weather

related patents. The one episode I’ve seen of Ventura’s new show was on 9/11. I thought it was very interesting and pretty well done. I was especially interested in the discussion about the official claim that no black boxes were recovered from ground zero for the WTC attack aircraft. All 4 boxes were supposedly never found. Yet there are allegations that they were found but have been suppressed for some reason. WeirD: Did you see the footage of the ALLEGED Russian Missile test in Norway? It looked more like a portal opening up out of Star Trek. Are you familiar with Project Blue Beam? SAI: Wow! Yeah, I’ve watched as many of the video clips as I’ve been able to fi nd. Yeah, it really looks like the “jump-gate” vortex from the Babylon 5 tv series to me. While I am initially inclined towards accepting the Russian Bolova missile explanation, there are aspects of the event that I have still not found adequate answers for. I’ve seen people use various mathematical formulas to both support the missile test theory and debunk it as well. But I think that if someone can create that dramatic of an event, whether with a missile or some other exotic technology and techniques, then it will be used as a weapon for psychological warfare.

Vallee’s seminal book Messengers of Deception, that he published in 1979 (and which was just republished by Daily Grail Publishing in 2008). In that book he suggested that the engines of deception employed by the Allied powers to defeat the Axis in World War II, might have been employed after the war to create UFO and paranormal manifestations with the ultimate goal of preventing another World War by uniting humanity through the production of a grand external threat. He doesn’t think these technologies and techniques represent the “true UFO phenomenon” but that the governments and militaries of the world are utilizing belief in these phenomena for their own political ends as psychological warfare. Project Blue Beam has never been officially documented and is simply one alleged grand scenario in which images of a deity would be holographically projected into the sky around the world while accompanied simultaneously by another psychotronic technology designed to excite your “heart chakra” so you feel love and devotion while also inducing the “Voice of God” inside everyone’s head. Vallee has suggested that some UFO events might be small scale versions of a scenario like that described above, though to my knowledge, he has never specifically referenced “Project Blue Beam.” WeirD: Back to the Archive real quick, what else should Weird readers know about the Archive? SAI: Well, Weird readers should know that we are a tax deductible non-profit organization that needs your support. You can learn more about us by going to our website at: www.AnomalyArchives. org. There you can fi nd copies of our free monthly electronic newsletter as well as links to our Twitter, MySpace, MeetUp and Facebook presences: www.Twitter.com/AnomalyArchives www.MySpace.com/AnomalyArchives www.MeetUp.com/AnomalyArchives/ www.Facebook.com/pages/AnomalyArchives/17710117086 And you can go to LibraryThing to see a fairly up to date online catalog of our entire collection:

as well as the creation of earthquakes and more. When I interviewed Jerry, it was after they’d recorded the episode but before it had aired. He said that the TruTV folks had bungled several of the facts and details alleged in the episode regarding oil companies and HAARP

That is the basic premise behind the 15 year old rumor known as “Project Blue Beam” which appears to have been fi rst publicized by researcher Serge Monast in 1994. This idea of a deceptive grand illusion has been one of my main areas of study since I fi rst read Jacques

www.LibraryThing.com/catalog/ AnomalyArchive

guarantees your health and safety at No Surrender. W: INTRODUCE YOUR STAFF THERE..WHO DOES WHAT.. YEARS EXPERIENCE.

W:WELCOME TO WEIRD MAG. ZKR: Thanks man for including an article on us in your magazine. I was glad to get you into my shop for a tattoo this week. TELL US ABOUT YOUR STUDIO-HOW LONG IN BUSINESS. ZKR: We have two locations that are staffed with exceptional, award winning tattoo artists and our Hopkins shop has the only female body piercer in San Marcos. We bought the first shop in July 2008. It is located at 142 S. LBJ... between the Costume shop and Restless Wind. It had been a tattoo shop for 5 years and was formerly known as Live Electric. We took over the second shop in August of last year. No Surrender Studios II is located at 718 E. Hopkins between Pizza Hut and Gil’s Chicken. There has been a tattoo shop at this location since 1992. First and foremost we’re about excellent artwork. At No Surrender we hold a higher standard for tattooing.We’re not a flash shop...we’re not the type of place where you can choose something off the wall.The days of picking & sticking are long gone.We will take your ideas and bring them to life with our own original artwork.We definitely strive to give our clients what they want and ensure they will be happy with their design for the rest of their lives. We also keep clean shops and we have two of the best sterilization rooms in Texas! Our concern with cleanliness and following proper procedures

ZKR: I am a tattoo artist...the shop owner title is secondary. I have been tattooing for 7 years and did my apprenticeship in So. Cal. I worked in So. Cal. area for 5 years before moving to San Marcos at the beginning of 2008. I specialize in large scale color tattoos such as arm & leg sleeves, and back & chest pieces. I am a full custom artist and draw every tattoo I do. I am passionate about tattooing and I love what I do. I take it very seriously and hold all of our artists to a high standard of art and execution for each tattoo that walks out of our shops. No one gets a half-assed tattoo at No Surrender when I’m around! One of the first guys I hired was Billy Weigler. He has been my apprentice since we opened the fist shop, but graduated to a full artist within a year. Be on the lookout for Billy...he’s a really tall guy with red hair and tight pants. He’s an up and coming artist that has a great career ahead of him. Tye Harris joined the crew right after we opened when we were in the middle of remodeling. He is an integral part of the No Surrender family and now manages the Hopkins shop. Tye specializes in portraits and black & gray. In the past year Tye has really come into his own as an artist and is turning out tattoos beyond what I had imagined. Tye’s skill is being confirmed by all the awards he has received at the local conventions lately. Jorge G Wookey is a very unique & gifted artist with a zen like approach to life and his art. His has his own style that defies categorization. Kinda like painting on skin. Jorge always comes back with awards from every convention he attends. Jorge is more of a fine artist that the rest of the guys... he dabbles in everything from zombie make-up to oil painting to sculpture and also gardening. Jorge is my main man at the LBJ shop who has inspired all of us just by having him as part of our team. Bubba Ward has been tattooing in San Marcos for the past 4 years. He came into our shop one day and said he

wanted to improve his skill level as a tattoo artist. I hired him on the spot and he has been a model employee. Bubba has a traditional style [e.g. Sailor Jerry, Ed Hardy], but with his own unique twist. His tattoos are timeless designs that will hold up for years to come. I like his work so much I had him tattoo on my face....that says something about my belief in his ability. Kasey is our piercer at the Hopkins shop and the only female body piercer in town. She has been with us since we opened the second shop. Kasey learned how to pierce from Joe Garza at Classic. She is well-trained, adorable and gentle. Kasey is as committed to her craft as we are to ours. Evan Lovett has just come on board. He moved here from New Jersey and has a similar style to my own--large scale color pieces, but he also dabbles in black & gray. Evan is great at drawing a tattoo directly on the skin...no stencil needed. He is currently working on Friday and Saturdays, but will expand his hours as he builds his clientele. These guys don’t work for me, they work with me and we’re all very good friends. I think we have one of the strongest crews...not just in San Marcos, but also in Texas. No brag...just fact, and artists around the state will testify to it. W: ANY AWARDS? ZKR: Since we opened we took over 25 awards last year and 12 already this year at only two conventions included the exclusive Star of Texas convention in Austin every January. W: ANYTHING NEW THIS SPRING YOU’D LIKE TO LET OUR READERS KNOW ABOUT? ZKR: Both shops have been remodeled...we still have a few details to wrap up, but we’ve been so busy it’s sometimes hard to ﬁnd the extra time. Both shops have big screen tv’s to entertain our customers and we just added a pool table to the Hopkins shop. Waiting is no big deal at No Surrender cuz we’re having fun. Great guy, stuff to do and we’re not hard on the eyes. W:WHAT MAKES A GOOD TATTOO? ZKR: Any tattoo starts with the initial

design. The piece should be well planned out and well drawn, and must follow the guidelines for a good tattoo, for example: Almost always there must be lines to clarify the image. The image should be clear from the line drawing alone without the shading. The image should not be too cluttered. A lot of people come to me with a design a friend might have drawn, but the picture does not translate well into skin art. I try to adapt the concept to what I believe will be a beautiful and lasting tattoo. I spend a great deal of time on the artwork, planning, and preparation before the needle ever hits the skin. I currently have people willing to wait up to a month for an appointment and others ﬂying in from out of state to have me tattoo on them. I want to add an important piece of advice for anyone considering getting a tattoo. Look at the artist’s portfolios not the price of the tattoo. Artists charge differently according to their skill level. The bitterness of a bad tattoo is there long after the sweetness of a good deal. Your ﬁrst question should be can I see your work...not how much do you charge. W: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ADAMS FAMILY? ZKR: Much cooler than the Munsters. Gomez happens to be one of my heroes and what’s not to love about Cousin It?

more apt to talk you out of a tattoo that we feel would not work than take your money and slap something on you that we know isn’t going to look good. Check us out and see for yourself.

NoSurrenderStudios.com Zack Ross :myspace.com/zackrosstattoo Jorge Aguirre:myspace.com/meshugggah Tye Harris :myspace.com/tyethetattooguy http://www.myspace.com/meshugggah

W: I WANT BOBBA FET ON MY LEG. CAN YOU HELP A BRUTHA OUT? ZKR: Not a problem. Our motto is ‘makin shit happen.’ And that’s exactly what we do. No idea is too weird or obscure for the crew at No Surrender. Just like I did for you. You gave me an idea for Big Foot the Yedi, I translated the concept to a tattoo and you told me it’s the best tattoo you’ve got. W: ANY FINAL THOUGHTS FOR THE WEIRD MAGAZINE READERS? No Surrender is a friendly, comfortable shop. Come on by and hang out with us...we welcome the opportunity to guide you to the perfect tattoo. We are

HOW WEED WON THE WEST A FILM BY KEVIN BOOTH

the follow-up to his ground-breaking documentary ‘American Drug War,’ ﬁlmmaker Kevin Booth traces the ﬁght against Federal drug regulation in the State of California. A public majority has spoken and said yes to states rights, allowing for the use of medicinal marijuana and opening up a new front in controversial medicinal ‘dispensaries.’

While users herald the freedom of legally-licensed “weed,” powerful forces at the DEA and law enforcement haven’t given up their federal enforcement power yet. Many dispensaries have been raided, targeting their distribution of marijuana and challenging their authority to rise into legitimate business. In the backdrop of this public dispute is the Dark Alliance– where governments handle the volume of drug trafﬁcking and work with cartels and drug dealers to manage the drug ﬂow. Just like the prohibition of alcohol, drugs have thrived on their illicit appeal, and doomed millions of non-violent offenders to incarceration and prosecution. Now, those swearing by the healing power of medicinal marijuana as well as those who simply refuse to be outlawed by a hypocritical rogue government 28

are daring to stand up and declare that the violence, corruption and uncontrolled ﬂow of drugs is due to the prohibition of the substance, not the substance itself.

Big Pharma has put millions of non-”drug” users on hallucinogenic prescription drugs and instituted new forms of addiction and dependency, challenging our

outdated notions that is only “illegal” drugs doing harm to our people. The State of California, in a key position to assert its 10th Amendment rights under the Constitution, has pushed the issue to a tipping point. The bankrupt government hopes to capitalize on taxation of a legal and prosperous marijuana trade that could, ironically, fight off big government and offer free humanity new hope. Whether or not you love or loathe marijuana or the drug culture, everyone needs to fight for a more peaceful solution to the drug dilemma. How can we best manage the reality of drug use and minimize the harm to individuals and society at large? Clearly seventy years plus has proven that the drug war has the wrong approach. In How Weed Won the West, filmmaker Kevin Booth dares to tackle these difficult questions. He infiltrates psuedo-legal California growers, investigates DEA raids on licensed dispensaries and even undertakes to sample the disputed ‘medicine’ for himself. He interviews radio host Alex Jones, former drug dealers, real-life gang members, legal-weed pitch men, activists and advocates to find the truth. www.howweedwonthewest.com

W: Welcome to Weird Magazine guys! How’ve you been? TFS: Thanks for having us! We just put out our tribute CD to Lux Interior, called “In The Lap of Luxury”, so we’re keeping busy, trying to get it out there. W: Tell us about the Band. How long have you been performing in Austin over the years? TFS: We’ve been performing in Austin since the early 90s. The band started in Waco, and relocated to Austin because, well, it’s Waco. W: What has been the success of the band in all this time? TFS: I think to have been performing as long as we have in as many incarnations as there have been is a pretty good success. W: Do you still perform with the Satan’s Cheerleaders? TFS: Unfortunately, no. They retired to the depths of hell on Halloween, 3 years ago. W: Tell Weird Mag readers how or why you guys came

up with the name The Flametrick Subs? TFS: I think I’ll let Buster Crash handle that question... W: What record label are you signed to? TFS: We have our own label, Texas Flat Lizard. As of now, we’re the only ones on it, but I think we’re doing a good job of keeping it going as a business. W: Name some of your inﬂuences?

around in Texas, but the last time we went out West was in Sept. of last year. We’re hoping to get back out there in Sept. of this year. W: Johnny Cash shooting speed in the graveyard...with the Devil? TFS: Um, yes, that’s us. W: Do you have a favorite venue that you guys like to perform?

TFS: The Cramps, obviously. Johnny Cash, The Ramones, Velvet Underground, The Doors, booze, girls, monsters, horror b-movies. You might call us B-music!

TFS: We have a lot of favorite venues. In Austin, it’s Beerland. In San Angelo, it’s the Deadhorse. In Vegas, it’s the Double Down Saloon. In Houston, it’s the Continental Club...each city has its own little gem for us.

W: Weirdest night on stage in recent memory?

W: Confess to Weird Magazine your soul’s desires.

TFS: They’re all pretty weird, but I guess our last visit to Denton stands out. One of the managers bought us each 6 shots of whiskey; I don’t really remember much after that.

TFS: Oh, we sold our souls a long time ago.

W: How often does the band go on tour these days? TFS: We’re always getting

W: Any ﬁnal thoughts to Weirdo’s reading Weird Magazine. TFS: Life’s too short to drink cheap whiskey.

- UPDATE JUST IN The Flametrick Subs have been called to the depths of Hell to pay their demon’s debts and will not be available for your entertainment. However, do not fret dear readers. They will be back in 6+ months to continue to preach the gospel of “feel good now and pay for it later”. Stay tuned to Weird Magazine for updates.

Dear Kristy:

Dear Heidi: Thank you for creating your site. I have a question, if you have the time. Brieﬂy: I came to realize almost 14 years ago that at least some of the ‘people’ I know are actually alien life forms in human form. An acquaintance hugged me, and her belly was very cold. Other individuals began what seemed to be a wearing down process, whereby they either revealed their grotesque face to me, or they spoke in threatening tones. I became petriﬁed and for most of the past 14 years have had low self esteem issues. This resulted in me being quite socially disabled most of the time, because I have not known who might be alien and who is human. These aliens seem to read minds, as well; considering their behavioral responses to me. My question is: Do you know how many unpleasant aliens in human form there might be on Earth? That is, how likely is it that there are a lot of them and how many of us are human? I might like to be able to tell who is alien, and who is human; particularly now that I might like to make some new friendships. I am moving away from the fear these alien contacts have created, but I am, overall, still very afraid at times. I want to get on with a happy life, and probably move out into the world again. I used to be friendly and happy, but have often been almost crippled by anxiety during the past 14 or so years. Thank you for your time in reading this, Heidi. Best wishes, Kristy

First off, hello over there in Australia! I lived there for a bit in Melbourne and miss it tons—but back to your dilemma: Alien People Living Among Us! Believe it or not Kristy, yes, there are indeed reported incidences of these strange sorts living among us. Some have been so unsuspecting as actually being an alien that I’ve heard of stories of people chatting it up with some at a bar while sipping on some brew. It was only when the ‘alien people’ walked out of the bar and revealed their spaceship, did the onlookers have any clue! Had that happened to me, I’d think someone slipped me some painkillers from reality into my drink! I mean, I’ve seen some wild things in my life, but being waved back at from a drunken bar patron as he ﬂutters off in a UFO isn’t one of them! Either way, alien people are indeed around us—cold bellies and all—though I’d never heard of that one before. Sometimes there exist freaky people, too, so no need to go around blaming aliens for being the only oddballs out there! What you describe as being near paranoia of those around you not being real people, is a concern. For anyone to change who they or

how they live their life due to fear of the mere possibility of someone being an alien is disabling indeed. The questions you might want to ask yourself to help get over these issues are: Have any of these ‘people’ hurt me? Will they hurt me? Does my worrying about it help anything? I think it’s key to know that our worries are sometimes bigger than they actually are. Many have actually seen some big, old nasty aliens but I haven’t heard of any of them hiding in hopes the aliens don’t spot them out. Sometimes taking that step where you put all of what you are and suspect to exist in the world on the table really helps chill out our fears and build up our strength—even getting other’s perspectives. Aliens exist, Bigfoot stomps around in the woods and vampires are making a comeback (uh—only on ﬁlm—that is)—but none of it means any of us have to take it lying down! Got a question about anything weird? Send your questions on the paranormal—from aliens to angels—to: alienadvice@gmail.com . For more info about Heidi Hollis’ books, videos and events visit: www.HeidiHollis.com

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AMERICA’S FAVORITE SANDWICH DELIVERY GUYS!

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ere are a few tips to help you survive the Spring Break 2010 experience. Make sure you have plenty of Water if you’re drinking Beer on the beach. Nobody wants to get dehydrated while trying to make out with a girl from Kansas City. Imagine what her Daddy’s Credit Cards could buy you. Stay Hydrated! Do NOT mouth off to the cops; they will surely arrest your ass as fast as they will for lighting up a big ass bowl of Uncle Bob’s Jamaican Gold cannabis weed. There is only one way to talk to them Po Po’s. Be very polite and courteous! Johnny Law is on the lookout for partiers who get out of control! FYI THIS IS SOUTH TEXAS. COPS know what WEED smells like. It’s everywhere here! Bikini dos and don’ts: LADIES. If YO shit don’t Fit. Don’t bring it to the beach! Girlfriends, please don’t try to fit all that Junk into a small ass swimsuit! If your cargo package is rolling over your waste, leave the bikini at home and hit the treadmill! Protect your skin with sun block and your life with condoms. We’ve all seen KNOCKED UP and know what happens after a fine ass chick ends up making a Troll with an ugly STONER.

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Mix your alcohols wisely. Liquor before Beer Never Fear! Beer before Liquor never sicker! Another tip for party goers on the Island is to remember to take a cab. FYI it’s only a few bucks to take a cab to pretty much anywhere you need to go on South Padre Island. So, don’t risk a DWI or getting you or someone else killed! Create a bail fund. Have money stashed away in case you or a friend gets busted. Weird Magazine recommends Speedy Bail

Bonds. (insert grandpa voice here) Why… if I had a nickel for every time . . . never mind. Use the buddy system. You don’t have to run faster than the cops… just faster than your buddy. Block yo ass from the sun. Being cooked and hung-over is the worst. Use the recommended SPF for your skin type. Problems with aggressive jocks? Don’t let frat dicks get in the way of your vacation. Put them in their place with a swift kick to the “off button.” Holy Balls! FTLOG Don’t jump off of buildings into swimming pools. It’s retarded. The ladies would prefer a smooth talker to a retard jumper. Know your bathrooms!

Find out where you’re emergency stop will be. It sucks to have a tummy full of blargh and nowhere to put it. Dudes dig awesome. So show off those fancy moves on the dance floor ladies. And don’t give it away to fast. It’s all about the chase. Chicks dig blossoms. Bring ‘em a flower and a drink. And don’t get too gropey. At least, not at first. Know the beach Flag System. Blue flag means it’s cool to swim. Yellow flag means CAUTION. Watch out for undertow and riptides. Red flag means DANGER. Stay the balls out of the water! You will get sucked out to and under the sea where sharks and other toothy monsters will rip your shit. Sharks prefer blondes. Seek protection at the WeirD Magazine Headquarters in Treffs Tavern. OK, you didn’t listen and you drank enough to drown all the fishes in the sea and you’re head is hurtin’. So, now what do you do? Go on over to Psychodeli on SPI Blvd. and visit Josh and Amy. The WeirD cure for a hangover is The Big Ass Club and Grandma Alva’s One Handed Sweet Tea. If this elixir of life doesn’t get you cured by noon, then find the dog that bit ya!