ISSUE 13 | APRIL 2021
A DIGITAL MAGAZINE ON EMOTIONAL WELLNESS WWW.WEQIP.COM
PERSPECTIVE
MINDFUL PARENTING EDITION WE FEATURE 08 05 YOUR VOICE The Mental Health
Self-Esteem In
Warrior of Odisha
Children
YOUTH TALK
A Mother's Take On Mindful Parenting
WITH DR. NIVEDITA DAS
SHALMALY CHATTERJEE
14
LALITHA SIVAPURAPU
INSIGHT
16
21
Mindful Parenting And
Bringing Passion In The
Psychological Health
Game
Of A Child
WITH PIYALI PAUL DR. DARSHANA SARMAH
NUTRITION
24
from the field
Improving Your
Helping People 'RISE'
Child's Relationship
WITH DR. JASMINE VIJ
With Food JOLLY VIN
on the cover
IDEAS
32
A Parental Guide To
31
Deal With Stress Of
The Colours Of Life
Online Classes
NAKUL WAGHE
REFLECTION
27
PRIYANKA CHAKRABORTY
36
BOOKSHELF
38
INSPIRATION
Be A 'Mindful' Not A
'The Boy in the Dark
Nurture A Mindful
'Mindfull' Parent
Hole' By Vaishali Shroff
Future
DR. HARSHMEET KAUR
PRISHA GUPTA
ZINAIDA D'SOUZA
40
WE MAG
ISSUE 13
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INSPIRATION
Self-Esteem In Children Words | Shalmaly Chatterjee Self-esteem is how much people value themselves and how important they believe they are in their world. You might hear people talk about the importance of self-esteem in kids, and “positive self-esteem” in particular. But what exactly is it? And why does it matter so much? Simply put, positive selfesteem is when people feel good about themselves.
Why is positive self-esteem important for kids? secure about who they are, Kids with positive self-esteem
they’re more likely to have a
feel confident and capable. They
growth mindset. That means they
value themselves and their
can motivate themselves to take
abilities. They’re proud of the
on new challenges and cope
things they can do and want to
with and learn from mistakes.
try their best.
They’re also more likely to stand up for themselves and ask for
When kids are confident and
help when they need it.
05 | we mag | Issue 13
To help build your child’s positive self-image as he grows, consider these dos and don’ts.
Do let him know no one is perfect. And explain that no one expects him to be. The way you react to your child’s mistakes and
Do give children choices.
disappointments colours the
Giving children choices —
way he will react.
options preselected by you —
Don’t gush or offer insincere praise. Kids are
makes them feel
masters at detecting
empowered. For example, at
insincere praise or baseless
breakfast, you might offer
compliments. Praise your
your child the option of eggs
child often, but be specific in
or pancakes. Learning to
your compliments so your
make simple choices while
words don’t ring hollow. For
he’s young will help prepare
instance, instead of reacting
your child for the more
to your child’s latest drawing
difficult choices he’ll face as
with, “Wow, that’s great.
he grows.
You’re the best artist in the
Don’t do everything for her.
world,” try something like, “I
Be patient and let her work
really like how you drew the
things out for herself. For
whole family. You even
example, it may be faster
included details like Daddy’s
and easier to dress your
beard.”
within a reasonable set of
do it herself helps her learn
Do assign age-appropriate household chores. Give
new skills. The more she
children responsibility for
meets new challenges, the
tasks such as setting the
more competent and
table, walking the dog, and
confident she’ll feel.
folding laundry. They’ll
preschooler, but letting her
06 | we mag | Issue 13
competency and bolster
Do spend one-on-one time with your child. Whether it’s
their problem-solving skills.
grabbing a bite to eat or
increase their feelings of
Don’t draw comparisons between your children.
taking a bike ride, try to schedule some alone time
Instead, appreciate each
with your child at least once
one’s individuality and
a week. This is a great
special gifts.
opportunity to talk about
Don’t call children names or use sarcasm to make a point. Never belittle your
what’s on her mind and to cement the bond the two of you share.
child’s feelings. When you get angry take a short break so you don’t say anything you’ll regret. And keep in mind; you can dislike a child’s actions without disliking the child. Be sure to illustrate the difference to your child.
Shalmaly Chatterjee, Mental Health Professional
07 | we mag | Issue 13
WE FEATURE
Dr. Nivedita Das The Mental Health Warrior of Odisha Dr. Nivedita Das, Ph.D. is a practising psychologist, professional life skills trainer, corporate trainer and faculty in the department of psychology at Utkal University, Bhubaneswar with
professional and in my personal
extensive training experience
life is an extension of them and
including behavioural training for
their teachings. I was
Police personnel, training for
academically good and was the
teachers at various schools, and
topper of my University in
capacity building for different
Graduation with Psychology
organizations.
honours. After my graduation, I did my Post graduation and M.Phil
The person behind the personality
from Delhi University. After 4 years of study in Delhi, I was back in
I was born in a small city in
Odisha after I got married in
Odisha. I was raised by my mother
Odisha. Then I tried my hands in
as our biological father left us
business a little, got involved with
when I was just 1 year old. It was a
a few NGOs while doing a three-
blessing in disguise I guess as I got
year law degree course and
to stay with my maternal
enjoying motherhood. I completed
grandparents and the value
my Ph.D. and got into research
system that I carry as a
and teaching. But all these years I
08 | we mag | Issue 13
have never taken a break from the
no looking back and since then
role of a psychologist and the
this organization has been a
social sector.
stepping stone for many women who have gotten empowered and
Her work
also have become the true
Since 2005, I am involved as a
change agents of the society in
director and consultant
their own small ways by bringing
psychologist with an organization
about positive changes in the lives
called Grassrootsindia,
of other women.
(www.grassrootsindia.org) which works for women empowerment. I am also involved with an organisation which runs a Family Counselling Centre. In 2005 I met Ms Debbie Pennington, a social worker from the US, who also had been working for women empowerment in South Asian countries. We started our
The writer in her
organization with the belief that if
I have authored two books, 7 book
women are given the power to
chapters and have published more
chose and design their life the
than 60 articles including journal
way they want, they can be
articles in international and
successful. We started our
national journals and articles in
residential program for women
popular magazines. I have
from an underprivileged
presented my research papers in
background and who were victims
many international and national
of violence and help them to
seminars and have been a
rebuild their lives by providing
resource person for many
them with an atmosphere for their
workshops related to psychosocial
overall well-being. There has been
issues.
09 | we mag | Issue 13
and women irrespective of their value system and education. How unjustly men enjoy supremacy over women in our society was really unknown to me. Soon after taking charge of my emotions and issues, I started doing awareness programs by associating myself with few organizations. I wanted
Passion for mental health
to help women who were victims
Being raised by a single working
of violence and didn’t know how
mother and seeing her struggles
to help themselves. I think it’s the
while growing up was something
ability to tell your own story
that has shaped the warrior in me.
without masking it gives you the
I took up psychology as a subject
strength to overcome the hurdles
in my college as I always wanted
in life. My work got appreciated
to find answers to many questions
and I was nominated to become
that bothered me since my
the district member of the Odisha
childhood starting from my
State Social Welfare Board
biological father leaving us, my
(Advisory committee) which comes
mother going through a divorce,
under the Women and Child
the attitude of society towards
Development Department.
women and I was amazed by my
towards life and her resilience.
The challenges she wants to be addressed
The psychosocial issues and
The biggest challenge we face is
mental health of women in Odisha
actually to reconstruct their
caught my attention more
identity which is shattered by the
realistically when I got married
injustice done to them. Initially, we
and became a part of this unequal
used to expect the family to take
distribution of status among men
charge and get involved in the
mother’s optimistic outlook
10 | we mag | Issue 13
woman/girl’s life. Then we
mental health issues and how to
realised it’s the women that the
tackle different issues that emerge
power lies within and no outside
at different stages of life in a
source can help them unless they
popular English magazine
are psychologically and
intending to sensitise people to
emotionally strong and feel
these issues and to remove the
empowered.
stigma attached to mental health/illness.
Plans for the future... In future, I would like to see more openness towards issues relating to mental health and more mental health professionals working towards this goal. I am doing my
Putting in her efforts
bit. In future, we are planning to
It is said that the pen is mightier
work more consciously and
than the sword. Since I am into
consistently with other
research and teaching at the
professionals on social issues
university also, through my
which result in mental health
research articles and teaching I
issues when left unaddressed.
emphasize the importance of psychosocial interventions and the role of mental health professionals in our society. It is very important to make the youngsters and budding psychologists understand the issues and challenges of this field and how they can contribute towards ensuring a healthy society. I have been writing about
11 | we mag | Issue 13
Message to those dealing with mental health issues
mental health issues as there are treatments for physical illnesses.
Those who are dealing with
We all have the right to be happy
mental health issues should know
and live life with dignity. Let us not
that they are not alone in this fight
be deterred by others’ ignorance
with mental health issues and
and help in building a more
there is nothing shameful about
empathetic world that can ensure
being mentally ill. There is
a healthy society with better
help/treatment available for
mental health.
12 | we mag | Issue 13
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YOUR VOICE
A MOTHER'S TAKE ON MINDFUL PARENTING Words | Lalitha Sivapurapu
definite and fixed ways to a situation. Children learn from
When I sat down to write this
what they see. For example, I
article, I wanted to first
used to tie a dupatta as a saree
understand what the term
when I was small, maybe all of
'mindful parenting' meant
four, and act just like my mother.
because parenting itself is very
There is no specific reason, I
complex. There is no common rule
would do it because that's what I
or common approach and thereby
saw. That is precisely, why mindful
presence of mind is very
parenting is required. More so, in
important to deal with a situation
these times when our children are
as it arises. Probably, to be
exposed to so much more
mindful of the situation, being
because of the internet and easy
aware of it, dealing with it in the
accessibility to anything and
best possible way is mindful
everything.
parenting. I have realised that I have been I had once read somewhere that
practising mindful parenting even
human beings are very immature,
without realising that I was doing
which means there is room for a
it. To be mindful, the first thing
lot of improvement, the scope for
and the most important is to be
a lot of learning, unlike other
aware of our own thoughts,
species which react in more
emotions and reactions.
14 | we mag | Issue 13
There are other times when we need to make an extra effort. For example, when I found my I have always been aware of my
younger son hitting a friend of his
reaction to a situation, so I try,
my immediate reaction was to hit
sometimes very hard, to be
him, but then I calmed myself and
present 'in the moment' and not
spoke to him. I gave him a chance
jump to conclusions. I give it some
to speak to me about what made
time, understand the emotions of
him act in such a manner. My
my children and that has always
approach gave him confidence
helped.
that he could be open about his feelings and it really helped me to
Being mindful helps us look at the
make him understand what was
situation/problem from a
wrong in the way he behaved.
different perspective. Being a
Needless to say, he never hit
parent to an almost adult, I can
anyone after that incident.
say that life as a parent is an emotional rollercoaster ride. I
Being mindful will definitely
have always tried to understand
strengthen the bond with our
his point of view in every situation.
children. From what my years of
We both are learning and we both
experience as a mother has
know that we are from two
taught me so far is that - being
different times and there are
aware and non-judgmental is truly
bound to be different opinions
the key to mindful parenting!
but we always choose a middle path. I think this has become a possibility because I take responsibility for my feelings and I clearly explain to him why I feel in a certain way. It is as complex or as simple as that.
Lalitha Sivapurapu, Professional storyteller, blogger and a mother
15 | we mag | Issue 13
BRINGING PASSION IN THE GAME - PIYALI PAUL
YOUTH TALK
Piyali Paul is currently pursuing
fascinated with the topics along
M.Sc in Clinical Psychology from
with the theories & the concepts.
NSHM Knowledge campus
Furtherly, I’ve pursued my post-
Durgapur. Before that, she has
graduation and continuing to
completed B.Sc (Psychology Hons)
travel into my career, the more
from Victoria Institution College
fascinating the human mind
affiliated with the University of
continues to get. I’ve always been
Calcutta. She specializes in
a “helper” type, so my typical
graphology and art therapy and is
answer has always been “to help
a life member of the Indian School
people overcome their inner
Psychology Association and The
demons & let them know that their
Indian Science Congress
lives are worth living.”
Association. We interviewed her to understand the perspective of a budding psychologist in the field of mental health.
WE: What made you choose psychology as a subject to specialise in.
PP: I took psychology as my major course at the graduate level in college. I found myself completely
16 | we mag | Issue 13
I have dreams of becoming a
WE: Why do you think it is
Clinical Psychologist and
important to educate youth on the
helping people throughout my
importance of mental health?
life along with a huge passion
PP: Education about mental
for Psychometric assessment.
health should start at an early
I want to start my non-profit
age. Because children spend so
organization that aids young
much of their daily life at school,
adults who grew up in foster
therefore imparting education
care. I want to help people in
about mental health n schools has
their transformation towards
become a necessity. Adolescence
becoming unconditionally
(10-19 years) is a unique and
loving, tolerant, and
formative time. Multiple physical,
compassionate.
emotional and social changes,
The thought of being able to
including exposure to poverty,
connect and help a child grow
abuse, or violence, can make
both academically and
adolescents vulnerable to mental
socially is the greatest reward
health problems. Promoting
I could ever receive.
psychological well-being and
My goal is to make something
protecting adolescents from
of myself. I found myself going
adverse experiences and risk
above and beyond the
factors that may impact their
curriculum purely out of
potential to thrive is critical for
curiosity.
their well-being during adolescence and for their physical and mental health in adulthood. Multiple factors determine mental health outcomes. The more risk factors adolescents are exposed to, the greater the potential impact on their mental health.
17 | we mag | Issue 13
WE: Where do you see yourself 5
WE: What difference do you want
years from now?
to make in the area of mental
PP: In the next 5-10 years, I want
health in India?
to see myself as an eminent
PP: Since grade 4 we have been
research scholar which is my
studying that India is an
childhood dream. I am a person of
agricultural country. The majority
simple needs. I have never
of the population did not get the
stopped feeding my insatiable
opportunity to join a school, and
hunger for learning. I want to
maybe a huge portion of these
continue learning while I am
individuals are just primarily
performing as a mental health
educated. This situation poses a
professional. I have always set my
huge obstacle in the way of
priorities in life. Today I can say
spreading awareness regarding
that those priorities have helped
mental health. In my opinion,
me achieve various things. Those
children need to be made aware
decisions have rewarded me with
of mental health from an early
the opportunity that I already
age and should be trained to
achieved. It is almost certain that I
spread their knowledge to their
have set up priorities for the
surroundings as well, that would
upcoming years. I want to attain
include their parents, relatives,
new heights in my career whilst
and other immediate members of
taking forward the goal to pursue
their surroundings. Also, I would
my PhD. I need to synchronize my
like to make people aware of the
targets. The five years that lie
various mental health care
ahead can be marked with
programs that are already present
milestones of progress and I am
in our country but due to sheer
sure the years will be mutually
ignorance and misconceptions,
progressive for me. I hope I hit the
common people are not getting
target I have aimed for.
the benefit. Moreover, mental
18 | we mag | Issue 13
health care should be a primary
time with my close friends. Such
health need.
friends are a blessing who are always there to give their back. I
I think mental health, not just
dislike dishonesty and indifferent
treating it but even talking about
people who don’t care about
it is a great taboo in India. Here,
others. Some individuals become
in India, it is still thought to be very
lucky and, in some way, reach the
uncomfortable or socially
top of achieving something like
unacceptable to go for therapies
being rich. However, it is
or even talk about once mental
disappointing when those people
health-related problems. I would
do not remember others who don’t
like to make people aware and
match their level and also want to
educate them on the importance
be pulled up. Being proud of own
of maintaining proper mental
success is not bad, but it becomes
health and how it can make a
a problem when pride takes over
person more comfortable or
a kind and caring heart. In my
successful or even help the person
leisure time, I mostly like to read
in knowing his own self and
poetry, novels, scientific fictional
overcoming problems and achieve
books. I have a passion for
success in every sphere of life; be
photography so in the free time I
it personal or professional.
nurture this skill. I like to utilise my leisure time and enjoy very much
WE: Share with us some of your
what I do. Reading books is the
likes, dislikes and how you like to
most prudent investment of leisure
spend your free time.
time and I learn many things from
PP: I like when people have the
reading.
right perspective about their life. A person with the right perspective of life acts as an asset to help others for their better well-being. I like to spend
19 | we mag | Issue 13
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INSIGHT
Mindful Parenting and Psychological Health of a Child Words | Dr. Darshana Sarmah Parenting is a two-way process. The moment the child is born, a new ‘you’ is also born (and
Whether a child is mentally
gradually a better you). Parenting
growing the way he/she should
is tough because the entire
grow, is a matter of serious
process is delicate. It is the great
concern. Mental health is not mere
sole responsibility of the parents
sharpness of a brain. It is about
to make a complete package of a
the confidence, smartness, self-
healthy child. Often, attending a
esteem, positiveness in the
child physically may not imply
attitude of a child. It is very
giving attention to them.
important for a child to form a correct opinion of himself/herself
In our busy schedule, many a time,
and know their weakness and
children end up becoming a part
strength before they step out into
of our duties. Unknowingly we
this world. Often we parents
often fail to fulfil some hidden
(almost unknowingly), put a direct
needs of a child, because we
or indirect form of influence on
already remain preoccupied with
them, which in the long run,
one thing or the other. We,
frames their individual personality
parents, generally stay concerned
development. A physically sound
about the physical health of our
appearing child may also suffer
child but often ignore the invisible
from low self-esteem and
aspect - 'mental health'.
confidence.
21 | we mag | Issue 13
In this aspect, Mindful Parenting
Since children are keen observer,
has a major role to play in
so parents are in turn need to be
designing a healthy mindset of
keen observer too, to observe
child. Mindful parenting has been
what they are offering a child to
identified as a promising
learn and pick up from them as
approach that promotes emotion
well as from surrounding.
regulation both in parents and children. It calls for an intentional
Unconscious parenting attacks the
moment to moment awareness
psychological immunity of a child.
while nurturing a relationship with
The calm presence of the parents
a child with non-judgemental
around, with wholehearted
acceptance, self-regulation in
engagement, leads to more
parenting and compassion.
inclination from children, and they gain a sense of unspoken
The first thing about mindful
secureness around, which boosts
parenting is to be aware of your
up their confidence, reduces
own being, your strengths,
stress in them, and enhances self-
weakness, behaviour, activities.
regulation of emotions.
Following are a few pointers that initiate mindful parenting:
Be a good listener: Always try to become a good listener for your child. In such case, they
Don’t shout and yell: Yelling
form the habit of telling you
and shouting make them
their daily account. Try limiting
rebellious. Be patient and
your distractions when with
make yourself understand it is
kids.
their age to be mischievous.
Create respectful fear: A
Don’t criticise:
Regular
child should always carry the
criticism hurts their self-
consciousness of not hurting
esteem and may bring a sense
his/her parent rather than
of detachment in them.
being gets scolded.
Highlight the teachings from
Stay Happy: Happy parents
the mistakes, rather than
lead to happy children.
rebuking them from doing so.
Children can sense, feel and
Don’t compare: Comparison
imbibe the aura of energy we
implants weak feeling in the
carry around us.
mind of a child and lowers
Be friends: It is always good
their confidence. They
to be considerate like a good
become conscious of what
friend rather than behaving as
they can’t do, rather than
a strict parent. Grant them
focusing on what they can do.
some space with their growing
Help them search and realise
stage.
their uniqueness.
Express your love often: Love is to be expressed. It strengthens the bonding, making them less vulnerable to the outside world as well as they enjoy a sense of security wherever they go.
Dr. Darshana Sarmah, Teacher by profession, blogger by passion, keen believer in mental fitness
23 | we mag | Issue 13
NUTRITION
Improving Your Child's Relationship With Food Words | Jolly Vin
nutrient for the brain and nervous
Mindful parenting is all about
system which needs to regulate
raising a child with emotional,
memory, mood, muscle control
social, mental, physical and
and other functions and plays
intellectual development. Through
important role in a child’s growth.
this article, I am sharing a few tips for a child’s physical and mental
Vitamin D deficiency is incredibly
well-being.
common in kids nowadays due to less exposure to the sun.
A journey of parenthood starts
Symptoms are low energy levels,
with planning for the baby.
dry skin, weak bones, excess
Detoxification before one month
sweating, weak eyesight and
of planning to conceive is very
anxiety.
important for a healthy pregnancy and baby.
Consult your doctor for any vitamins and nutrition check. Superfoods like nuts, seeds, herbs, vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, pea and lentils and eggs yellow are a rich source of choline. Choline, which is similar to B vitamins is an important
24 | we mag | Issue 13
Folate B12, iron, zinc, omega 3
Peaceful sleep is also very
fatty acid and vitamin C also plays
important for their growth. Too
an important role in mental and
much sugar intake in the dinner
physical growth. To overcome
gives more energy hence kids are
nutrients deficiency, healthy fats,
unable to sleep on time. Try to
protein, complex carbs, minerals
lower your child’s stress levels by
and vitamin intake is very
giving an oil massage. Outdoor
important. Parents should involve
activities like cycling, swimming
their child in kitchen activities to
etc. boost endorphins (happy
cultivate healthy food habits.
hormone) levels which also reduce stress and anxiety while increasing
Too much processed and junk
the self-esteem and creativity of
food, fizzy drinks can harm not
kids.
only kid’s growth but also harm their brain and it causes
These are simple, easy to follow
aggressions, depression and
measures that parents can use
stress. It is parents' responsibility
mindfully while helping their
to educate and promote the
children develop healthy eating
goodness of home-cooked food.
habits and consequently improve their relationship with food.
Nowadays parents are more aware of child development. They feed them all kind of superfood and nutritious food but do check that your child can digest that food and absorb the nutrients. If they are suffering from any acute diseases then try to fix their digestion first. Weak digestion leads to many diseases.
Jolly Vin, Founder - 'Holistic Nutrition By Jolly', nutrition author and lifestyle coach
25 | we mag | Issue 13
Your Body. Your Health. Our Priority.
Jolly Vin A holistic nutritionist and a genetic counsellor
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FROM THE FIELD
HELPING PEOPLE 'RISE' - Dr. JASMINE VIJ Dr. Jasmine Vij is a Counselor, Psychotherapist & Psychological Trainer. She is the founder of RISE Psychological Services working for the mental health of individuals specifically and for society, at large. She works as a counselor and therapist providing support to clients who are going through emotional, intra/interpersonal and psychological struggles. At a broader level, seminars, workshops and trainings help her to achieve the goal of positive psychology.
WE: Tell our readers a bit about yourself.
JV: I'm a passionate psychologist who works in the field of mental health. After completing my Masters and PhD. in psychology and having undergone several certified trainings and diplomas and further attaining an experience of 16 years in the field of psychology, today I apply my skills and expertise in diagnosing, handling, counseling, and providing support to clients who
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are going through emotional,
one to say openly, when asked by
intra/inter-personal &
my class teacher in 10th that I
psychological struggles. Also, I
wanted to study psychology and
psycho-educate the general
was looked at by surprise and
public and train young budding
scorn. I observed that too!!
psychologists.
WE: Tell us more about the work WE: How did your journey as a
that you do, the clinic you run and
psychologist begin?
the services provided by you.
JV: Right from the beginning I
JV: I am the founder of RISE
was going with my instincts to
Psychological Services. The name
observe human behaviour, it was
itself indicates that the basic
very much inborn to have an
motto of my clinic is to make
interest in this area. But I belong
people rise above their issues,
to a time and place when only
problems and ignorance to a level
social status was important in
where they can be better
career choice and no
adjusted to themselves and to the
consideration was given to
society or people they live with.
interest at all. So, students could
My daily works include dealing
pursue medical or non-medical
with people (children
after their basic compulsory
adolescents, adults, elderly) who
education. In fact, I was the only
are unable to handle certain
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aspects of their life and need professional help in that. It includes dealing with stress, mild depression, anxiety, emotional problems, adjustment issues, child behaviour & academic problems, marital counseling and workplace issues. Additionally, I conduct private workshops for training purposes and also indulge in seminars (recently webinars) for increasing awareness on various
WE: What challenges did you
platforms such as schools,
face?
colleges, institutes, organizations
JV: I did not face any challenges
and the like. Also, I provide
as such in being trained as a
internship opportunities for
psychologist because I was born
psychology students in my clinic.
to be one. But professionally speaking, it is just that people need to be made more aware of and convinced of how counseling and psychotherapy works. They have to be told that no magic is going to change them and they will have to put an equal effort. Then there are time and fee concerns which I think most psychologists are facing in India. Such issues can be resolved if the required respect and recognition are provided to psychologists with a proper check on quacks.
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WE: How do you think your initiative is helping people who are facing mental health issues?
JV: The awareness campaigns really help to give assurance and strength to people who are unable to seek treatment because of myths or taboos. It gives them an understanding that there is an issue that needs to be resolved in a specific manner with
WE: What is your message to
their own inner energies.
mental health advocates and
Moreover, they are given new
psychologists?
perspectives which they have not
JV: We, as mental health
thought of before thereby
professionals have to be very
changing the way they think and
cautious because what we say
behave and making them better
means a lot to our clients. We
human beings. Also, they become
can’t give a passing comment, a
open to the idea that many things
general statement, or an over-
can be sorted out by talking
generalized judgment. Whatever
about it and medicines is not the
we say matters and in turn shapes
only solution to mental health
our clients' life, so it is a big
issues.
responsibility. One should never exercise a particular technique or therapy without proper training and expertise. I have come across ‘so-called psychologists’ ruining their client’s lives. Please do not destroy the basic purpose of your profession and spoil other psychologist’s reputation too.
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ON THE COVER
THE COLOURS OF LIFE Artist | Nakul Waghe "As the year 2020 was completely spent under lockdown and we since we are reliving those times again in 2021, every individual understands the importance of home. It doesn't matter how big or small the house is, but everyone found happiness by staying together with the family during a stressful time. People realized that peace of mind can also be achieved by spending quality time with family at home rather than going out shopping at the malls or watching movies in multiplexes. This painting is a
Nakul Waghe, Watercolor and
collection of many such houses
acrylic hobby artist, who paints to
and buildings which are painted
meditate and is an IT consultant by profession
in vibrant colors."
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IDEAS
A PARENTAL GUIDE TO DEAL WITH STRESS OF ONLINE CLASSES Words | Priyanka Chakraborty As technology is advancing every passing day, every aspect of human life is taking a route
online learning. It has its own
towards its virtual aspect.
wow and woes, not only from a
Starting from online banking to
student’s and teacher’s
online shopping, online payment
perspective but from a parent’s
to online ticketing, everything is
perspective as well.
going on the web platform. In this race, online teaching and
Since the pandemic is not yet
learning are also not behind.
over and there is no significant information about when and how
A further contribution of the
the regular classes will be
pandemic has elevated the
conducted, online classes are
system of education from brick
the only mode of education
and mortar classrooms to digital
remaining for learning and
learning. In such a scenario,
upgrading the skills. It is done
online learning is the future of
from the comfort of the home
education or not, is a heated
itself. But is it as easy as it seems
topic. As every coin has two
like?? The most probable answer
sides, so is the situation with
received is a big NO.
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in a hurry join the online classes. Since last year, each one of us
At that time, if they haven’t taken
has experienced a weird shift in
their first meal of the day, they
our physical, mental and
will trouble themselves the entire
cognitive attitudes. The students
day. So, ensure that your child is
or the ‘learning section’ of the
maintaining their schedule to
society is affected the most.
sleep on time, next morning,
Online classes that are defined
wake on time, take a bath, have
to be executed from the comfort
their breakfast and then
of home is not that easy as it
attentively join the online
sounds! It not only disturbed the
classes.
child’s way of learning but also the way their parents tackle
Sometimes there are issues with
them is getting more
net connectivity. The child may
complicated. We cannot avoid
get irked as they are unable to
this situation. But as a parent, it
connect and the teacher on the
is our duty to discover a solution
other end is continuing the
to cure this problem. Below the
classes. At that time, scolding
lane, are some tips for parents to
them or leaving them alone in
help their ward cope with the
the situation is not a good
stress of online learning.
option.
1. Be kind and patient to your kid; teach them the value of being on time.
Instead of reacting adversely to the situation, teach your child to respond calmly and judiciously. This can be done only when you
As everything is getting
are patient with the situation
disturbed, so is the schedule of
and kind towards your kid.
sleeping and waking up.
Therefore, make them learn how
Children play online games till
to deal with these kinds of
midnight, wake up late and then
dynamic situations.
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2. Provide a dedicated place for their learning. In online platforms, there are cameras and mikes, which can record the situation of every home. No child wants their classmates to hear or see what is going inside their home. During online classes, it is seen that there are many background noises from the student’s end. Whether it is a conversation
careful that your kid stays
between family members or
focussed and does not get
unwanted noises from the
disturbed from the surrounding
kitchen, each of them can
noises.
distract the child’s focus from online classes. So, it is the
Although it is impossible to
parent who is advised to be
completely eliminate these noises, they can be avoided by some changes in the home. Make sure your kid is sitting in a room where there is no one to come and go every moment. If possible, close all the windows of the room during the classes, so that the child remains focused. At last, try to keep home quiet when the online classes are going home, with fewer or no conversations.
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3. Never trust blindly.
Always be in connection with the school and the teacher
The above statement may sound
regarding their online presence
a bit bitter but that is something
and performance.
every parent should be aware of. The Internet is a world where
Last but not the least, remember
along with ample amounts of
this time shall too pass, but
knowledge, there are a plethora
what’s most important is your
of distractions. As they are in
child’s mental health and their
their growing age, it is very
learning. So anyhow, explore
obvious that they may get
new methods to connect with
attracted to something that they
your child so that they can share
should not. In such a case, they
their tough moments and heal
might lie that they are attending
the stress that the pandemic had
online classes, but in reality, they
created in their mind.
are busy with some other internet activity, whether it can be gaming or watching a movie. There is nothing wrong in doing any one of them, but deceiving the parent and compromising with the study is not justified.
Priyanka Chakraborty, Believer
Therefore, trust your child but
of empowering people for
don’t have blind faith in them.
creating a better society
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REFLECTION
Be A 'Mindful' Not A 'Mindfull' Parent
Words | Dr. Harshmeet Kaur These are challenging times. Kids are stressed and have been
missing the normal times. Parents have been raising kids with
incredible resilience and strength.
Manpreet Kaur, a London-based
Many of them cancelled their in-
life coach and a mindful parent
person vacations. They delved
says, "For me, mindful parenting
deeply into innovating and
meant listening to my children
creating an indoor routine for
with no distractions and being
their kids. What I have learnt from
non-judgmental towards children
parent stories is that many of
as well as myself. It also meant to
them navigated challenges with
be aware of my and their
adaptability. I interviewed some
emotions to avoid any automatic
of them and asked them what
reactions. To me, self-regulating
made them have an expression of
parent-child relationships mean
joy along with work from home
to be more tolerant of and
calls and online classes of kids.
supportive of their emotional
Most of them practised
displays rather than dismissing
mindfulness i.e., focused on the
them and finally be
present moment rather than
compassionate towards them and
worrying about the future of their
myself. The focus should be on
kids.
effort rather than results"
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There are some of the ways which helped parents and kids manage their stress during the pandemic. For example: 1. Taking some moments to practice breathing. 2. Exercising together. 3. Encouraging kids to practice gratitude. 4. Having some playtime during the evening. 5. Adding proper nutrition to the diet. 6. Practising healthy tech routine: No use of devices before sleep, time-limits for social media, and staying away from phone/tv while having food. 7. Soaking up sunlight when possible.
Like mindful parents, let our kids know that they are resilient to care of themselves, others and the planet. Let us all take some moment to remember all the brilliant, brave, parents around the world for raising kids mindfully during the pandemic.
8. Considering sleep as the most powerful relaxant. 9. Most importantly, having close conversations with kids and reassuring them that they are safe, healthy, and much loved.
Dr. Harshmeet Kaur, Mental Health & Wellness Coach; Founder of TheBloom
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BOOKSHELF
'THE BOY IN THE DARK HOLE' BY VAISHALI SHROFF Words | Prisha Gupta “The Boy in the Dark Hole” is a children’s book by prolific writer Vaishali Shroff. It is a short yet profound story about a 10-yearold boy, SP, who has fallen into a deep, black hole and can’t seem to get out.
The tale is written from the point-of-view of SP himself, and how a dark hole is swallowing him up. He only wants to sketch, read his favourite poems, have fun with his two best friends Kuhu and Lobo, and chase rainbows with his father along the streets of Mumbai. But his father wants him to play football
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when SP has no interest in it, he is bullied and teased at school and he can’t enjoy the things he loves doing most.
Looking into a cardboard tube his mom gave him to put in his craft box, he imagines that he is falling into a hole, reliving the worst days of his life.
The book does a great job explaining the concept of depression to children while
The book’s language is simple
exploring the fact that even their
and easy to understand, and the
mental health is important. It
beautiful illustrations by Samidha
also shows that sometimes a
Gunjal bring life to its pages.
little light can illuminate a whole
Children of all ages shall
world.
certainly enjoy perusing this book. It is surely worth giving a read!
Prisha Gupta, Grade 8 student, avid reader, writer and aspiring An illustration by Samidha Gunjal
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artist
INSPIRATION
Nurture A Mindful Future Words | Zinaida D'souza You must have heard this saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. It is very essential that parents first take care of their
Why is mindful parenting the need of the hour?
mental health, only then they can raise healthy-minded children.
The coronavirus pandemic has
Mindful parenting means being
brought unexpected challenges
aware of what influences your
in our lives. It has been difficult
own emotions, feelings and
not only for adults but for
behaviours rather than
children as well. The pandemic
projecting them onto your
situation has added more stress
children. Managing your own
to parenting responsibility.
emotions and behaviours
Mindful parenting is the absolute
teaches your child to manage
need of the hour as it will help in
theirs. Mindful parenting is the
raising children who are more
key to raise children to be better
resilient in handling adverse
adults.
situations effectively.
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How to MINDFULLY parent your child?
stable simply means not let your conscious or unconscious emotions take
Listen, be present in the moment: One of the
control of you and get the better of you. You can
common mistake parents
handle your emotions well by
tend to make is they fail to
bringing them to your
listen and be patient with
conscious mind and dealing
their children. You need to
with them effectively.
listen to what your child is
Emotional stability helps you
saying, no matter how silly
think and analyse the
you find it. Come down to
situation better, allowing you
their level of understanding
to come up with a solution.
that moment, keeping aside
Identify emotional triggers: An emotional
your busy life.
trigger is can be a painful
Self-awareness: Being self-
memory, past experiences, or
aware is extremely important
any event that fuels an
because when you have a
intense emotional reaction,
better understanding of
regardless of your current
yourself, you are empowered
mood. These triggers cause
to make changes and to
us to react in negative ways
build on your areas of
because of the pain
strength as well as identify
attached to the past
areas where you would like
experience. Be mindful
to make improvements.
about what you are feeling
Emotional stability: Your
and identify if there is any
emotions are so powerful
past pain that is influencing
that they influence your
your emotions or behaviours.
thoughts, decisions, and
Choose your words wisely:
actions. Being emotionally
Your words can have a huge
and be present with them in
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Respond, don’t react: Every problem you encounter while parenting requires an appropriate response, rather than a reaction. A common error made by most parents. Reactions often come when we feel frustrated and are unable to handle our own self. They can be often harmful to the child’s mental impact on your child’s mental
growth. Replace your
wellbeing and they become
reactions by responding to
the foundation of their
the problem in a calmer
overall growth. Show respect
manner. If you feel you have
to your child. Choose kind
reacted negatively,
and positive words when
apologise to your child.
talking to your child, as your
Children learn to apologise
words will become their
for their mistakes if adults do
reality.
the same.
Validate feelings: Every human has the gift of feeling different emotions. Validate those feelings even if they are not pleasant ones. Your feelings and emotions tell you a lot about yourself and it will tell you a lot about your child as well. Validate them and treat them responsibly.
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Give choices: Parents often choose and decide everything for their children. They take away the power of letting their child make a choice. Choices can help children in improving their self-esteem, decision making and problem-solving ability. Children feel in control when they are allowed to make choices for themselves.
Realistic vs unrealistic expectations: Be more realistic with the expectations that you keep from your child. It is the child who bears the burden of parent’s unrealistic expectations. This burden weighs them down, puts
Meditation & grounding: Meditation and grounding are the most useful tools to practice mindfulness. Grounding is a therapeutic technique that involves doing activities that “ground” or bring you back to the present and stops you from worrying about the past or the future.
pressure on them and that can hamper their overall mental health
Zinaida D'souza, Mental Health Professional, Clinical and Counselling Psychologist
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