Western sex positions

By Elizabeth Hart

The Angry Goose

The Concrete Beach

Unlike its lacklustre name, this position will give you anything but a boring sight to see. The Concrete Beach lets you see a new view of your partner. Instead of being on top of one another, this variation involves being on your sides and creating a flat — or concrete — shape with your bodies.

Nothing says Western pride like paying respect to the local geese. Sit cross-legged with your partner and intertwine your bodies for maximum intimacy. Feel free to try this position on grass or in water to really embody the spirit of Western’s favourite bird.

The Spoke Poke

Is there anything better than a fresh Spoke bagel? Maybe trying a new sex position! The Spoke Poke is a great way to avoid eye contact with your partner, and the standing position allows access to locations that are just as versatile as your bagel order.

The Saugeen Single

You don’t need a zoo of people to finish with the Saugeen Single. Looking for sex as intimate as your one-bedroom dorm? Ride solo and have fun without a partner. Just like a single room, you can invite people over, but can kick them out if they’re stopping you from getting the job done.

The Thames River

Try out this aerobic challenge paying homage to the body of water that runs through Western University’s campus. The blood rushing to your head from doing a bridge is just the start of the intense high you’ll get in this Gazette-approved position.

The Middle-Sex

Visiting Middlesex College doesn’t have to be a solo or two-person task. It can always be a group activity! Nothing beats getting to know others better, and this certainly is one way to do it. Talk about a friendship worth remembering!