West Georgia Woman Magazine Issue November 2023 by West Georgia Woman Magazine/Angel Media, LLC

Woman

Complimentary

November 2023

West Georgia

Loretta Wright From Shabby to Happy

Stop Parenting Your Partner Cultivating Your Child's Sense of Civic Duty COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Holiday Anxiety Stop It Before It Starts 1

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Cooking Up Savings This Holiday Season Make a list of what needs to be taken out from and put away in your fridge and try to do it all at one time. Match the size of your burner to the pot or pan you are using, so you do not waste energy. Use small appliances like a slow cooker, toaster oven or microwave when possible. Cover pots and pans to keep the heat inside and speed up cooking time. Keep the oven door closed and use your oven light to monitor bake times.

Two Different Homecomings Last month, I shared with you the joyful news of my grandson, Benjamin's birth. Zach and Jordan brought him home Sept. 30. He's so precious, and we are overjoyed to have this beautiful addition to our family. This month, I have a sad homecoming to share. My 96-year-old grandmother, Willie Dee Sentell, passed away the morning of Oct. 21 after a short illness. My grandmother was a really kind and loving woman, and she loved her family. She endured many challenges during her long life, including the loss of her husband and two children. I know she was overjoyed to be welcomed home by her loved ones who passed before her. On page 7, we share little Benjamin's birth announcement, and on page 8, a few photos of Top right: Me, as a teenager with my grandmother. my grandmother and her Left: That chunky baby is me being held by my grandobituary. mother, with my mother standing beside us. My older

brother is with my grandfather. Bottom right: Me, holding my beautiful new grandson, Benjamin. It's so strange to think that I'm a few years older than my grandmother was in the photo on the left. She would have been around 46.

In This Issue

Our feature this month is 20-year Navy veteran Loretta Wright. After suffering from PTSD and surviving abusive relationships, Loretta began refurbishing furniture as a form of therapy. On page 10, learn more about Loretta and how she's sharing her gifts to help other abused women rise above their circumstances. Are you already feeling the stress of the upcoming holidays? On page 20, Sandra Bolan shares several ways you can stop that anxiety before it starts. We plan all of our articles a year in advance, and it's fitting for my family that this month we planned on including an article on dealing with the loss of a loved one during the holidays. Learn more about how to cope on page 24. We all want our children to be good, law-abiding citizens when they grow up, and it's important to teach children the responsibility they have to help make the world a better place. But there's much more for them to learn besides obeying the speed limit and voting in elections. Learn more about cultivating your child's sense of civic duty on page 33. Thank you for reading! There's so much more inside! Please do business with our community partners whose advertisements are included in West Georgia Woman. It is only through their partnership that we are able to give you this beautiful magazine each month. Happy Thanksgiving! Publisher

Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference. TM

We welcome your comments West Georgia Woman is a voice for and about the women who live and and suggestions. Contact us: work in West Georgia. Our mission is to engage, inspire, (404) 502-0251 and cultivate a cohesive community Online: www.westgeorgiawoman.com for all women in West Georgia by Follow us! @WestGaWoman sharing our hopes, our dreams and our lives. This magazine would not be possible without the inclusion of our advertisers. Please be sure to show your support by doing business with these Need a copy? We mail thousands of VIP’s (very important partners) so we copies each month to households will be able to continue to share with through Direct Mail or get yours from you our stories about amazing West our racks at Kroger, Publix, Smith Brothers Supply Company, Southern Home and Georgia women! Ranch Center, Food Depot, Neva LomaPlease be sure to tell them we sent son Library and the Tanner Health System you! Medical Pavilion in Carrollton; Piggly Wiggly in Bowdon, Buchanan, Franklin Inspiring women wanted. Do you know an interesting woman and Tallapoosa; Thriftown in Bremen; who should be on the cover of West The Little Giant Grocery in Sargent; Fabiano’s Pizzaria, Leaf and Bean Coffee, Georgia Woman? Is there a special Crook's Grocery (Temple Ave.) and Lee project or organization you would King pharmacy in Newnan; Tanner Health like us to feature in our magazine? Let us know! Email your suggestions System's Villa Med and Villa West Office Buildings in Villa Rica; Kroger (Chapel to features@westgeorgiawoman.com. Hill Rd. and Highway 5) and Food Depot Share your special events. on Hiram Douglasville Hwy and Highway 5 in Douglasville; Food Depot and BrickSend your upcoming events to: house Grille in LaGrange; Food Depot calendar@westgeorgiawoman.com (Villa Rica Hwy) in Dallas; Kroger on Ridge Rd. in Hiram; WM Grocery and ChuckNeed to advertise? Email: wagon restaurant in Roanoke, Al. and WM Grocery in Wedowee, Al. We have Sales@westgeorgiawoman.com them in larger quantities at Publix (BullsCall 404.502.0251 borough Drive), Lee-King and Thompson The views, opinions, positions or strat- pharmacies in Newnan, the Apothecary egies expressed by the contributing Shoppe in Douglasville, Publix at Mirror authors are theirs alone, and do not Lake and New Georgia, CVS in Bowdon necessarily reflect the views, opinions, as well as hundreds of other retail locapositions or strategies of Angel Media, tions and medical offices in 18 cities in LLC., West Georgia Woman magazine eight counties in West Georgia and East or any employee thereof. Alabama. Angel Media, LLC. makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, correctness, suitability or validity of any information in this publication and will not be liable for any errors, omissions or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

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This publication is dedicated in loving memory of Tristan Alexander Brooks May 15, 1993 – September 17, 2015

Volume 9 • Issue 1 November 2023

Publisher/Editor

Angela Dailey angela@westgeorgiawoman.com

Copy Editor Editorial Contributor

Shala Hainer shala@westgeorgiawoman.com

Photographer for cover/ Graphic Design Zachary Dailey

Editorial Contributors

Sandra Bolan, Jordan Dailey and Rose Isaacs

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Sales@westgeorgiawoman.com West Georgia Woman is a monthly publication of Angel Media, LLC. All contents of this issue are copyright 2023. West Georgia Woman magazine, its logo and “Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference.” are trademarks of Angel Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Print or online reproduction without permission is strictly prohibited. All submissions will be included as space is available. West Georgia Woman reserves the right to reject or edit any submissions that are not in compliance with our editorial policy. If you wish to have your submission returned, please include a self-addressed stamped envelope along with your submission.

Navy veteran Loretta Wright shares her gifts to help other women rise above abuse Page 10 Photo by Zachary Dailey

What’s inside... 10 From Shabby to Happy

20 Stop Holiday Anxiety Before it

Starts Holiday Grief: Coping With the Loss of a Loved One

a Child's Sense of 33 Developing Civic Duty

36 He's Not a Kid: Stop Parenting Your Partner

In Every Issue:

28 Daily Fare

40 Local Happenings

44 Kids Korner

Zachary and Jordan Dailey are proud to announce the birth of their son, Benjamin Collins Dailey September 27, 2023 at 10:14 a.m. 6 pounds, 2 ounces 19 1/2 inches long

In Loving Memory of

Willie Dee Lary Sentell December 31, 1926 – October 21, 2023

illie Dee a.m., at District Line United Lary Methodist Church Cemetery in Sentell, Bremen, Ga. age 96, of Martin, Hightower Funeral Home in Ga., passed away Bremen was in charge of the Saturday, October arrangements. 21, 2023, at St. In an excerpt of her Mary’s Sacred Heart memoirs she left for her greatHospital. grandchildren, she wrote, "Try to Born December love everyone and forgive those Willie Dee as a schoolgirl, front row, fourth from right. 31, 1926, in Atlanta, who do you wrong. Be willing she was the daughter of the late James Edgar Lary to help people anytime you can, too, even if they and Lillian Ada Tallent. do you She was a homemaker and wrong. a member of District Line Above United Methodist Church in all, Bremen. accept She loved to sew and cook. Him as She will be remembered for your her kindness and her love Lord and for others. Her life’s greatest Savior, passion was taking care of her repent family. of your She is survived by sins (as three children: Charlene He has D’Ambrosio, Robin Sentell a place and Marty Sentell; seven prepared grandchildren; 34 greatfor grandchildren; and 28 greatyou in great-grandchildren. Heaven) Willie Dee, with her children, l to r: Karen, Robin, Danny, Charlene and Marty. She was preceded in when death by her husband: Charles Edward Sentell, two you leave this old world of troubles and trials. 'God children: Karen Sentell and Danny Sentell, and four Bless' everyone who reads this. Lovingly, your Great siblings. Grandma Willie Dee Sentell. Year 1996." WGW Mrs. Sentell was cremated in accordance with her request. She was laid to rest beside her husband and son at District Line United Methodist Church Cemetery. A memorial service was held Saturday, October 28, Willie Dee, with her husband, Charles E. Willie Dee, far right, with three of her four siblings, l to r: Sentell, on their wedding day. May 27,1947. 2023, at 11:00 Lois, James and Nora Lee.

From Shabby to Happy

By Shala Hainer

Photos by Zachary Dailey

Navy veteran shares her gifts to help other women rise above abuse 11

ome people have the rare ability to find a piece of old, broken furniture and see not what it is, but what it could be. They transform it into their vision, into something beautiful, filled with renewed purpose. Loretta Wright, called Lori by some, born and raised in Wedowee, Ala., transforms more than furniture. She found a way to rise above challenges in her past, including abusive relationships and living with PTSD, and transform her life in such a way that she can also positively impact the lives of others.

Life At Sea After high school, Loretta tried college and some local jobs, but her adventurous spirit led her to join the U.S. Navy, where she became a chef. “I traveled the world – literally – on six different Naval vessels, with my favorite being the USS George Washington,” she remembers. “By that time, I had become a private chef for the captain of the ship. I served my country for 20 years.” Many veterans have stories they tell – or choose not to tell – about terrible events they’ve seen and experienced while serving their country. Even when they are not serving during high-risk deployments or wartime, the duties and events people in the military often experience can be scarring and life changing. Loretta experienced something no person should ever see: she watched a shipmate and friend take his own life onboard ship. Loretta says she experienced significant sexual harassment while in the military as

Loretta Wright served her country in the US Navy for 20 years. Photos: Loretta Wright.

well. These events started her journey of living with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Military-related PTSD is often the after-effect of combat, where people see horrible or lifethreatening experiences, or for those who have experiences such as serious training accidents, according to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs. It’s more common among female veterans, with about 13 percent living with PTSD, compared with 6 percent of male veterans. Some studies show as many as 23 percent of veterans live with PTSD. Part of the reason female veterans are more likely to have PTSD is because they are more likely to be victims of military sexual trauma, or MST, which is any sexual harassment or sexual assault that occurs in the military, whether during peacetime, training or war. About one in three female veterans report experiencing MST at some point during their military career. PTSD isn’t only military related. It can also occur after a personal trauma, such as witnessing a serious accident, going through a serious medical emergency or living in an abusive situation – and about 10 million Americans live with domestic abuse, according to the National Institutes of Health. The symptoms of PTSD don’t usually start right away, and they range from slightly noticeable to debilitating. They often come and go, sometimes hitting the person without warning. Symptoms vary by person and can change over time. Many people relive the traumatic events in their heads, often at random times, which can lead to physical symptoms such as panic attacks as well as emotional outbursts. Common symptoms include the feeling of not being able to breathe – often with a drowning sensation that sometimes ends up with the person being hospitalized. Other symptoms include headaches, depression, intense worry, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, increased blood pressure and nausea. It can affect behavior as well, causing angry outbursts, emotional numbness, substance abuse and inability to maintain relationships. PTSD can also increase a person’s chance of dying by suicide. Cognitive therapies are

often helpful to people who live with PTSD, and many of those people benefit from depression or anxiety medications, depending on the severity of the disorder. In therapy, PTSD sufferers are often taught to redirect their thoughts, and hobbies or creative activities are common ways to help with that goal, especially for people who prefer not to use medication, or for whom medication isn’t effective. While there are treatments for PTSD, there is no one-size-fits-all treatment, and it’s often something sufferers deal with for the rest of their lives.

Life At Home While she was in the military, she married and had three children, two boys and a girl – Andre is now 20, Emmanuel is 14, and Zion is 12. “Being a mother was amazing, and still is,” Loretta says. Having a family while in the military can be challenging on the adults and kids, with no control over where you move or when you are deployed. But Loretta and her husband at the time seemed to be navigating the parenting and relationship hurdles – that is, until around the time Emmanuel was born. “I will never forget the first episode,” Loretta shares. “I was living in military housing, so of course, we had neighbors. One night, my neighbor’s wife had gotten alcohol poisoning and had to be rushed by ambulance to the hospital.” Loretta says the family had four small children, so she took the children into her house for the night to stay with her two kids. Her husband was out with a friend at the time. The neighbors returned from the hospital around 4 a.m., and as the dad was coming

Lorettas children, l to r: Andre, Zion, and Emmanuel.

to pick up his sleeping children, her husband returned from his night out. “He was high on marijuana and drunk,” Loretta remembers. “He came in the house and didn’t say anything. Once the last kid was picked up and I closed the front door, I turned around and immediately was slapped to the floor. I was crying in pain, but I didn’t want to wake the boys.” Loretta was shocked by the sudden onset of physical abuse. She ran out their front door and hid behind her SUV. “By the grace of God, I had my phone in my hand for some reason,” she says. “I called the police. That night was the beginning of many bad nights – many bruises, concussions, bruised ribs and black eyes. Yes, I was still in the Navy, but my battle wasn’t on the ship – it was in my home.” Loretta relates that for a couple of years, she would make him leave, but he would take the time

to woo her back with a vicious cycle of love bombing and false promises. In 2011, she finally had enough. She was terrified for herself and her children’s wellbeing. “He went into a drug-angry rage, so I grabbed my then 1 and 2 year old and hit the road to Alabama,” she recalls. “My oldest son was already there visiting grandparents. I drove that little Hyundai so fast that by the time I got into Alabama off I-20, I could see smoke coming from the hood. By the time I was able to get over to the right to pull off road, the fire had started. I had barely enough time to grab my babies from their car seats and grab my wallet. We got to a safe distance and stood to watch the car become fully engulfed.” Because she was still on active duty, she had no choice but to soon report back to her duty station. She moved out of the home she shared with her husband and got her own apartment. But even though she was doing everything she could to separate herself, he wasn’t letting go easily. “My ship went out a couple days, and when we pulled back in port, I went home,” she says. “My apartment door had been kicked in. He was there waiting. He took an alarm clock to my face – my eye was blackened.” Because she had a duty shift the next day, she had to report to work. “I snuck back onto the ship so no one could see my face,” she recalls. “That’s when the Navy got involved and sent me clean across the country. I never saw him again. “Is that where my story of abuse ends? No, it is not. I stayed single for a long time. But being who I am, after I retired, I tried love again. That marriage lasted three years. Yes, domestic abuse and drugs once again. I had to realize that no matter how much you love a person, only God Loretta's car caught fire on I-20 while she was trycan fix a ing to leave her abusive relationship. She and her broken children barely escaped before the car became man.” fully engulfed in flames. Photo: Loretta Wright.

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Starting Over “The hardest thing about leaving an abusive situation is overcoming the fear of starting over and realizing that you don’t have to be embarrassed,” Loretta says. “Sometimes you have to start over with limited resources. It is hard! People always judge abused women with the question, ‘Why didn’t you just leave?’ It is not always that easy. “My husband tracked me down. People say to get a restraining order – well, that is just a sheet of paper that doesn’t put any type of fear into the abuser. I thank God for my family who was very supportive and helpful. Many women do not have that support.” Loretta is right. About one in four women and one in seven men experience domestic violence, according to the non-profit Respond, Inc. On average, victims of abuse leave their abusers seven times before they are finally able to get away for good. The question of why women go back to their abusers is a complicated one. For some, it’s because they feel they have nowhere else to go, or they feel shame for not being able to make the relationship work. Some abusers control all the finances, so the victims don’t have the financial means to get away. Many times, the emotional abuse has led to distorted thoughts and low self-worth, where the woman has been convinced by their abuser that she has no value or is to blame, so she just needs to try harder. Because many abusers can be nice and loving one moment and abusive the next, women hang onto hope that the abusive behavior will change if they just give it more time and do more to keep the abuser’s anger at bay (for example, by keeping the house spotless or having dinner ready on time every night). These victims have been conditioned to rationalize the abuser’s actions,

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such as saying it’s only because he is stressed at work, or it only happens when he drinks. Abusers sometimes make their victims feel isolated, so the victims truly don’t see that life can be any other way because they have few if any close friends. If there are children involved, women might believe it’s better to have the children grow up with both parents, rather than in a broken home – or, the abuser makes more or all of the household money, and the victim is afraid the children’s quality of life will suffer without that income. More often than not, women fear feeling judged by friends, family and coworkers if they aren’t able to make their relationships work. Sometimes, victims stay because they are afraid violence toward them or their kids will escalate if they leave, so they feel safer remaining in the known abusive relationship rather than risk a sudden escalation at an unknown time. Loretta began painting, building and refurbishing furniture as a form of therapy after Survivors of domestic abuse are years of suffering from PTSD. three times as likely to suffer from relationship in the future. Refocusing the brain by PTSD, according to the National giving yourself permission to do something you love Domestic Violence Hotline. can help with the healing process. Without proper therapy, women who leave “Once I retired, I discovered the gift of painting abusive relationships too often find their way into and building furniture,” she shares. “It wasn’t for different but still abusive relationships again. The the money, though. The medication that the VA victim’s brain was stuck in a state of anxiety for prescribed for PTSD basically made me shut down so long that it can become wired to be attracted and just want to sleep. I had to find a different to that feeling, according to Psychology Today. It therapy, so I chose to learn to paint. It helped so takes a powerful strength of will, a robust support much that I turned it into a side hustle.” system and a huge amount of self-awareness, often As she connected with people who were found through therapy, to break the trauma bonds interested in having furniture refurbished, Loretta and rewire the brain to look for a different kind of

realized she was able to channel her previous experiences of living with abusers into a way to be a blessing for others. She was able to recognize other women who were living in similar situations and help them realize they had a way out. “My business is more than furniture and painting,” she explains. “It puts me in touch with people who need a listening ear with a humble heart. My heart has a soft spot for abused women and children because I was in their shoes at one time.” When she had a retail business, she found a way to make that a safe place for women and children in crisis. “When I was able to get a storefront, I started keeping beds in the back,” she recalls. “I kept extra clothes and hygiene stuff – things a woman may need if she had to make a quick getaway. Once people found out what I was doing, they started donating things. I privately called it The Hideaway.” She says donations of clothes, money and hygiene products are always needed so she has just the right items on hand when women trying to escape abusive situations find her. Loretta relates that although she didn’t have a formal shelter and didn’t share too much about her mission of helping women in abusive situations, somehow the women were able to find her when

they needed her. “I didn’t advertise it that much because of safety reasons. By the grace of God, when someone was in need, they knew how to find me. Or someone would contact me on their behalf. I have helped several women and children, and some I keep in touch with. I’m thankful for the ones I have been able to help.” She no longer has a storefront, as she runs her furniture restoration business out of her basement. However, she still keeps supplies at the ready and helps women and children in crisis however she can. “Two months ago, I took in three foster kids because the mom was in abusive situation,” she says. “I no longer have the kids with me, but they are doing OK.” She has some strong advice for people who look at women who don’t immediately leave abusive situations and criticize them. “Stop judging women who are abused,” she advises. “No one asks to be in that situation. Abuse should never be tolerated!” Just like the furniture she turns from shabby to chic, she sees not the victims of abuse, but their potential to lead full and happy lives in the future. “I don’t know exactly what the future holds for me and my children,” she says, “but I know we will continue to be blessed so we can bless others.” WGW

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HOLIDAY ANXIETY

Learn How to Stop It Before It Starts By Sandra Bolan

uying the gifts. Not blowing the budget. The crowds. Holiday parties. Family. House guests. Cooking. These are just some of the things that transform the holidays from a time of joy into a pulling-out-your-hair, bury-yourself-under-the-covers kind of season. Almost half (45%) of people surveyed by Anxiety Canada admitted they dreaded the holiday season. Some of the stressors noted by those polled included having to engage in small talk with coworkers, spending time with family, social media, FOMO (fear of missing out) and eating in front of others. As much as you might like to avoid all the craziness that comes with the season, you can't. But you can figure out how to cope and get through it.

Lower the Bar The pressure to give the best gifts, bake the best pie and throw the most amazing parties comes from within, not your family or friends. Reality will never measure up to your expectations, which are typically based on Pintrest and those Hallmark movies you secretly love and watch, even in June. Your friends and family will be happy with less expensive gifts that come from the heart and a store-bought Thanksgiving dinner. They just want to be with you.

Don't Overcommit While it’s a great ego boost to be on everyone’s guest list, attending every single party and dinner

can become overwhelming. Say, “Yes” to the invites you know you’ll enjoy and reply, “Maybe” to the

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ones you feel may be a chore to attend. The parties you shouldn't skip, even though you would rather get a root canal than attend, are work and family gatherings. But don't be afraid to say, "No" if these get-togethers have a negative affect on your mental health. Just have a believable excuse to skip.

Family Dynamics Having said that, not every family gets along. One way to de-escalate potential conflict is to agree beforehand to avoid those contentious topics of conversation, such as politics or religion. Think of it this way – it’s only a few hours of your life. You'll get through it, if you go into the family gathering with the right mindset.

Create New Traditions A lot can happen throughout the year – a death in the family, divorce, births, relocation, job loss, new jobs. As much as you may love long-held traditions, sometimes life throws curveballs, forcing you to pivot. Be open to new traditions that encompass your life changes. Sometimes creating new traditions can help heal a family after a huge loss.

Schedule Some Downtime

Make a Plan Sometimes the holidays feel like a giant to-do list versus a season of celebration and opportunity to reconnect with loved ones. Make a plan of attack when it comes to buying gifts, shopping for groceries, baking, cooking and decorating. This may mean you need to do some of your shopping online, or you may have to take a day or two off work to make your way through the rest of the list. Give yourself some grace and realize that the world will not end if everything doesn't happen exactly as you planned. "Just roll with it," should be your mantra.

Maintain Your Healthy Habits You may want to indulge in those foods that only hit the table once or twice a year, but after eating all the pie, mac and cheese, cakes and cookies – not to mention the extra alcohol you'll be drinking – you know you’re going to feel awful. It’s OK to indulge, but balance out the high-calorie fattening foods and drinks with maintaining your normal diet between festivities. If you workout on a regular basis, this is not the time to slack off. Your body will thank you, and instead of gaining those typical five pounds, maybe this year it will only be two.

Schedule some "me time,” especially between Thanksgiving and the New Year. It’s a long holiday season, and to constantly be “on” for all those weeks can take a toll on your mind, body and emotions. Every holiday is filled with great expectations, which sometimes can create enormous let-downs. Kids, and maybe even adults, will have meltdowns at the worst times. Your extended family may say and do dumb or mean things. When this happens, it may feel as if the holiday is ruined. It’s not. Just take a deep breath and realize these things will happen – even in the best of families. Just remember, these mishaps will make for great stories in the years to come. WGW

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Holiday Grief

Coping with the loss of a loved one

t's supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year.” But from mid-November to January 1st, it can be a whirlwind of highs and lows for many, especially if it’s the first holiday season following the loss of someone special. The first thing you should acknowledge is the holidays are going to be challenging. Second, there will be no right or wrong way to maneuver through them. Third, you’ll be filled with conflicting emotions. On the one hand, no matter how

By Sandra Bolan

emotionally distraught you are, you just might get caught up in all the holiday hoopla, but then simultaneously feel guilty for wanting to celebrate. You may even want to hit the “ignore” button on the entire season and not re-emerge until the New Year, but try not to cancel the entire holiday season. If there are children to consider, ask them what they would like to do and how they would like to honor their loved one. If it's only you, try to view this as an opportunity

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to do something different/non-traditional. Go on vacation, someplace you and your loved one have never been to. Sometimes a change of scenery can help give you that much needed physical break from all of the memories. Conversely, if you can handle it emotionally, go back to one of the places where you had the most fun with the person you lost this year. Instead of partaking in the usual holiday meal, order takeout, or treat yourself to dinner in a fancy restaurant. If it’s something you’re ready to do, you can even have the holiday meal in your deceased loved one’s favorite restaurant. Another way to escape is by going to the movies or visiting a park nearby. Connecting with nature can give you some peace and may help with healing. Or you can use the holidays as an opportunity to give back. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Sometimes helping others can ease your own pain.

Family Traditions If you're going to continue with set-in-stone family traditions, plan ahead for someone to fill your loved one's role. Depending on your loved one's prior duties during the holidays, assign a family member

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to take over turkey carving duties, playing Santa, baking or cooking the meal, shopping or reading The Night Before Christmas to the family. Plan who will do what ahead of time so the actual day isn’t filled with hurt feelings and conflict because someone automatically assumed it would be them in charge of carving the turkey or baking Grandma’s pecan pie. Just because your loved one has passed away doesn't mean you can't include them in the festivities. Continue to hang her Christmas stocking, set a place for her at the Thanksgiving table, or ensure her favorite side dish is made just the way she liked it. If family members are emotionally ready, the holidays are the perfect time to share wonderful stories about your loved one, keeping her memory alive for future generations to come.

Take Care of Yourself Emotions, especially grief, can become magnified during the holiday season. If your tradition was to attend every work, friend and family function with the deceased, maybe you’ll want to skip some of those events this year. If you do choose to attend, it’s OK to feel overwhelmed with sadness, which

may have you fleeing to the nearest exit. It's all right if you need to leave early; people will understand.

Talk it Out Attending a bereavement support group meeting lets you know you’re not alone in trying to make your way through the holidays. It also provides a safe place to discuss all the conflicting emotions you’re experiencing. Pay close attention to your feelings and emotions. If you are sinking into depression or having anxious or suicidal thoughts, reach out to a mental health professional immediately.

You should also be aware of complicated grief – a condition that manifests itself in long-lasting, painful emotions that are so severe and debilitating that you cannot move on with your life after the loss. Typically, complicated grief is diagnosed when severe grief lasts more than a year. Most people who experience normal bereavement and grief will go through periods of sadness, guilt, anger and numbness. People who experience complicated grief typically cannot get through everyday life. If you are suffering from complicated grief, seek out a mental health professional right away. You may also require some type of medication, such as an antidepressant. Don't try to "white knuckle" your way through. That's what medication is for – to help you when you need it. There is no right or wrong way to get through the holidays following the death of a loved one. You’ll be conflicted. You might want to put on a happy face and celebrate, but you may not be able to. If running away or locking yourself in your house for two months is how you plan to survive, then go for it. Eventually, you’ll find a way to blend old and new traditions together and celebrate the life your loved one lived without it hurting so much. WGW

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e s o R f e Ch Chef Rose Isaacs is a native of Carroll County and lives in Carrollton with her husband, Shawn and their son, Sebastian. She graduated from West Georgia Technical College in 2013 with a degree in Culinary Arts. She is a personal chef who offers cooking lessons, baby food prep, date night dinners for two and more. Learn more about Chef Rose at www.chefrosecooks.com. Chef Rose photos by Zachary Dailey, Dailey Life Photography daileylifephotography@gmail.com Recipe photos by Agresta Photography www.agrestaphotography.com

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Apple and Brie Tarts Ingredients

3 tablespoons honey (for an added kick, try using hot honey) 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and thinly sliced 1 oz brie cheese, thinly sliced 1 puff pastry sheet, defrosted overnight 1 egg plus 1 tablespoon water

Preparation

Try using any seasonal fruit you desire, or do a savory option with sliced onion and balsamic glaze.

Preheat oven to 400°F. Line rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Unroll the puff pastry sheet on a lightly floured surface. Roll out slightly with a rolling pin to get rid of the deep creases. Cut sheet into six rectangles. Drizzle honey onto the parchment paper in six equally spaced spots. Spread to create a thin layer. Arrange four to five apple slices in a thin layer on top of the honey. Top with a thin slice of brie. Place the puff pastry rectangle on top of the apples, brie and honey. Gently press down on the edges to seal. Brush the egg wash evenly over each puffpastry rectangle. Bake in preheated oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the puff pastry is puffed up and golden brown. Remove from the oven with oven mitts and place on a cooling rack to cool for a few minutes. Carefully flip the tarts over on the baking sheet or onto a serving plate. Serves 6.

Maple Glazed Salmon "

Serve the salmon with your favorite sides, such as roasted Brussels sprouts, quinoa or steamed vegetables.

Ingredients For the Maple Glaze: 1/4 cup maple syrup 2 tablespoons soy sauce 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon olive oil 2 cloves garlic, minced 4 salmon fillets (6 oz. each), skin-on Salt and black pepper to taste Chopped fresh parsley, for garnish (optional)

Preparation In a small bowl, whisk together all the maple glaze ingredients: maple syrup, soy sauce, Dijon mustard, olive oil, minced garlic, salt and black pepper. Set aside. Preheat oven to 400°F. Pat the salmon fillets dry with paper towels. Place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Brush the top of each salmon fillet with a generous amount of the maple glaze. Season the salmon with a pinch of salt and black pepper. Place the baking sheet in the preheated oven and bake for about 12 to 15 minutes, or until the salmon is cooked to your desired level of doneness and flakes easily with a fork. While the salmon is baking, heat the remaining glaze in a small saucepan over low heat. Simmer for a few minutes until it thickens slightly. Once the salmon is done, drizzle some of the warmed glaze over the top. Garnish with chopped fresh parsley, if desired. Serves 4. WGW. 30

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DEVELOPING A CHILD’S SENSE OF CIVIC DUTY By Sandra Bolan and Angela Dailey

strong democracy requires active participation from all its citizens. One of the many roles a parent has in raising her children is to equip them with life skills that will enable them to have a positive impact on society and to be civic-minded citizens. We often hear, “It’s your civic duty to vote,” but is that a person’s only civic responsibility? No. One’s civic duty is defined as “A responsibility that a citizen of a town, state or country has because they live and benefit from the services provided to them there.” In the United States, our main civic responsibilities include voting, paying taxes, obeying the law and jury duty, according to PBS Learning Media.

Giving Back to the Community Although children can’t vote, don’t pay taxes until they get a job, or sit on a jury, there are still things they can do and participate in to help their community. Volunteering, at its basic level, teaches kids the value of giving without expecting anything in return. It can also educate children about their community’s assets or shortcomings and provide them an avenue to utilize their problem-solving skills as well as learn how to better communicate and work with

others to effect change. Studies show children who volunteer are more likely to feel connected to their communities, do better in school, are less likely to partake in risky behaviors and are 19% more likely to graduate from college, compared with kids who do no more than go to school, then home and engage with the world via social media. Civic engagement, which can create change just as effectively as civil disobedience or protesting en masse, can be helping with a food drive for the local pantry, doing a park clean up to bring attention to the impact of littering on the environment or running for school council. All of these activities, along with anything else that may interest the child lets them know that even though they’re young, it doesn’t mean they can’t do something about an issue that’s important to them.

Teach Them Responsibility Another way to impart a sense of civic duty on children is have them take responsibility for their actions. A civic-minded citizen obeys the laws set out by government. It sounds simple – just follow the rules. But when you don’t like the laws or feel they shouldn’t apply to you, it becomes common practice

to break them. After all, who’s going to get hurt if I roll through the red light or steal a candy bar?

Set a Good Example Perhaps the best way to show children how important their civic duties are is to lead by example. If you're shopping in the grocery store and the cashier forgets to ring up an item, don't ignore it and act like it's your lucky day. Bring your children back into the store with you to pay for the item so you can show them how important it is to do the right thing. Stealing, even inadvertently, impacts your family and all of your neighbors through price increases. If you see trash on the street, pick it up and throw it away. Recycle all items you can at home, and teach kids at a young age which bin holds what recyclable so it will be an automatic response for them to place those items in the proper place. Show your children how important it is to take care of the world around them. If you see a stray dog or cat, spend a couple dollars on some pet food and water you can leave for it. It may not make much of a difference in a week, but for that one day the animal will receive some relief from its circumstances because of your kindness and generosity. The same goes for people

who may be homeless. If you see someone who clearly looks like they need help, and if you can afford it, show your children it's important to help others by giving the person money or buying her a meal. Giving like this isn't really about what you think the person might do with the money, it's about your sincere willingness to help someone less fortunate than yourself. During election cycles, take your children to political debates so they can hear what the candidates are saying. Talk about the issues and then let the children decide which ones are important to them and which candidate would best represent their wants and needs. On election day, take your children with you when you cast your ballot. You can even let them “cast a ballot” at home in a makeshift voting booth. For small children, they can vote on something as simple as what’s for dinner that night. The lesson here is majority rules, so they may or not get what they want for dinner that night, but they let it be known what they wanted by voting. Many adults complain about the “system’s failings” or how “democracy is broken” but do nothing more than complain. By actually doing something, even as children, change can be effected. WGW

He's Not a Kid

Learn How to Stop Parenting Your Partner By Sandra Bolan and Angela Dailey

ou and your husband are having another one of your yelling matches, over what, neither one of you can recall, when you realize he fights back just like your father did – dredging up incidents from years ago or tossing out wild allegations. The cliché that says we marry our opposite-sex parent is not uncommon. Many of us subconsciously marry someone who most resembles the parent we had the most conflict with because it’s emotionally comfortable or because we are subconsciously trying to resolve that parental conflict. It’s common for all romantic partnerships to have

one person take the lead when it comes to making some of the decisions, but what is not normal is when the relationship feels less like give-and-take and more like parent and child. Marrying someone with similar character traits to their opposite-sex parent isn’t always a disaster, especially when that parent was loving, supportive and emotionally available. The relationship becomes unhealthy when one spouse takes on the role of parent: making all the decisions; nagging to get expected household chores done; or having to get the spouse up and out the door so he gets to work on time.

The parent/child dynamic becomes exacerbated with the “child” falling into that role by wanting the other partner to do everything for him (cook, laundry, pick up after, make decisions, be responsible for the children). The “child” doesn't want to be a valued partner in the relationship. Instead, he wants to be mothered.

Are You a Parent or Partner? If you feel like you might be in a parent/ child relationship with your partner, ask yourself who controls all of the financial decisions? Who decides where you go on vacation and what you do? Who picks where you go to dinner? Are you constantly picking up after him? Are you responsible for everything in the household, including the household chores and taking care of the kids? If you answered “Yes” to these questions, then you may be in a parent/child relationship. If you’re in the parental role, ask yourself why. Is it because you feel the need to be in control of everything, or is it because you don’t think your spouse can manage his or her own life? If you stop parenting your partner, are you worried he won’t need you anymore and he’ll leave? If you are playing the parental role, there are two things you should understand. First, you can’t raise an adult. Your partner has to start thinking for himself and acting his age. Second, you can’t fix or transform someone into the perfect partner.

How to Stop Parenting •

Change how you communicate. Instead of nagging, let him be, even if it drives you insane. So what if he leaves his clothes on the floor or doesn't take out the garbage in a timely fashion. Allow him to find out on his own that his clothes won’t get clean sitting on the floor, and you can only put so much into a trash can before it overflows. If you always tell your partner what to do, then check that he did it exactly how you

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told him to do it – stop. Allow him to think for himself and figure it out. When he does some chores, but not to your exact specifications, keep your opinion to yourself. Instead, say “Thank you.” You probably feel as if you shouldn't have to thank him for contributing to the household duties or the childcare – truer words have never been spoken. However, positive reinforcement can only help, not hurt, and if you're lucky, perhaps he'll be inclined to do more in the future. Set boundaries. Stop doing everything for him. If he can’t figure out how to set the alarm clock so he gets to work on time, oh well. Let him be late and deal with the fallout. If he refuses to eat unless you cook, even if it’s 9 p.m., don’t cook for him. By this point in his life, he should, at the very least, be capable of making a sandwich or a bowl of cereal. Allow mistakes. This may be harder for you than for him, but you need to let your partner screw up. Don’t go behind him to fix things either. Eventually he'll figure it out and become more self-reliant. Partners are not babysitters of their own children. It is just as much his responsibility

•

to help care for his children as it is yours. But you have to allow him to parent his way, even if you don't agree with his approach, as long as it isn't harmful to the children. Tell him you would like his participation in bath time, getting the kids ready for school, making breakfast for the family, helping with homework or making the kids' lunches. Let him know it's not acceptable for him to expect you to pick up after him. He should share in the laundry and other household duties, as well as helping keep the house clean. Encourage him to make decisions. Ask him to take over the vacation planning, or encourage him to sit with you while you both take care of paying the bills. If he knows what's going on with the finances, he'll be able to take over if something happens to you.

After trying to run far away from your childhood dysfunction, you may have actually run straight into its arms with your spouse. Speak up and let your partner know this parent/ child dynamic is not what you want from your marriage so you can work on making the relationship a true partnership. WGW

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Local Happenings Nursing From The Heart Breastfeeding Support Group

This group meets the third Thursday of each month from 11:00 to noon at the Villa Rica Library located at 869 Dallas Highway, Villa Rica, Ga. These events are free to pregnant women and moms looking for breastfeeding support. Weight checks for your baby will be available at no cost. Come and share your breastfeeding journey with us. Please check our website for meeting and event updates at www.nursingfromtheheart.com.

Domestic Violence Support Group There is Hope is a support group for women survivors who have dealt with, or are currently dealing with, domestic violence. This is a private group where women survivors come together and share their personal stories of experience, strength and hope. This group meets on the first Thursday of every month from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. at a private location. A ZOOM option is available. There will be guidance for help and resources available as needed. At times there will also be guest speakers.

Contact hopefulone807@gmail.com for more information and to obtain the privacy contract with the physical address or ZOOM meeting ID and passcode.

Survivors of Suicide Loss Support Groups Has your life been impacted by the loss of a friend or loved one to suicide? You are not alone. These groups offer peer support for anyone who has been affected by suicide loss. There is no cost to attend. Group meetings in Carrollton are the third Tuesday of each month from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at 306A Bradley Street. For more information, contact Ivey Rollins at iveyrollins@gmail.com or call 470.729.0909. Group meetings in Douglasville are the second Tuesday of each month from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the First United Methodist Church at 6167 Priestley Mill Rd., Room 226. For more information, contact Terri Johnson at chose2live@aol.com or 770.765.2181. Group meetings in Newnan are the second Monday of each month at 7 p.m. at Crossroads Church, 2564 Hwy 154. For more information, contact Lynn Bradley at 770.301.4890 or email nbll.bradley170@gmail.com, or contact Nancy Bradley at 770.251.6216.

PFLAG Carrollton Support Group PFLAG Carrollton provides a free monthly peer facilitated support group for adult members (ages 18+) of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as their family, friends and allies, as a resource for families struggling with acceptance of their LGBTQ+ loved ones. The goal is to meet people where they are and lead with love. PFLAG’s mission of support, education and advocacy from a place of love can help struggling families, as well as the community at large. Support group meetings (for adults 18+) are led by a PFLAG trained facilitator and held on the second Thursday of each month from 7 to 8 p.m. in the Fellowship Hall at Grace Lutheran Church, 101 Somerset Place in Carrollton. Confidentiality and safety are top priorities. Contact Julia Houser, pflagcarrollton@gmail.com for more information.

Southwire Completes Purchase of Genesis Wire & Cable Business Southwire Company, LLC, a leader in technology and innovation, announced today that it has completed the purchase of Genesis Wire & Cable based in Pleasant Prairie, Wis. "After announcing the acquisition in September, we're excited to officially welcome our newest Southwire team members today," said Winn Wise, senior vice president of Infrastructure at Southwire. "We look forward to completing integration activities and getting everyone onboarded as seamlessly as possible. We’re excited for these experienced professionals to now be part of The People Behind the Power™." Genesis Wire & Cable is a leading U.S. lowvoltage cable manufacturer, providing critical connection for a wide range of residential and commercial applications, including comfort, security, network and communications, entertainment and fire and safety. The company serves a broad set of distributors, dealers and professional contractor customers.

The acquisition of Genesis Wire & Cable was first announced by Southwire and Resideo Technologies, Inc. on September 19.

Southwire Joins ENERGY STAR® Program in Partnership with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) Supporting the company's intent to be a leader in sustainability, Southwire has joined the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) ENERGY STAR® Program. ENERGY STAR® is a well-recognized and respected voluntary program managed by the U.S. EPA, supported by U.S. Department of Education (DOE) and Natural Resources Canada, that is focused on improving energy efficiency in buildings, plants and homes. “We’re excited to partner with ENERGY STAR, a brand that is well-recognized for energy efficiency

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in many of the things we use every day, like some of our Topaz® lights,” said Norman Adkins, Southwire’s chief operating officer. “Through its resources and collaboration with other companies who share the same commitment to proving energy efficiency, ENERGY STAR helps its partners in the industrial space. As a part of this partnership, we plan to improve energy efficiency at a faster pace throughout our company operations.” In support of the company’s Growing Green initiative, Southwire aims to reduce its environmental footprint and maintains a deep commitment to responsible growth and actively integrating environmental priorities into its core operations. In July 2020, Southwire announced its Carbon Zero goal to eliminate or offset all of the company’s Scope 1 – associated with fuel combustion – and Scope 2 – associated with electricity consumption – greenhouse gas emissions by 2025. As part of the program, Southwire will continue its commitment to protect the environment through the continuous improvement of its energy performance. “At Southwire, our vision is to make our company sustainable for the next 100 years and beyond, and our partnership with ENERGY STAR is a testament to those efforts,” said Burt Fealing, Executive Vice President and Chief Sustainability Officer. “Southwire maintains a deep commitment to responsible growth and actively integrating environmental priorities into our core operations, and we look forward to creating a more sustainable planet through our partnership with ENERGY STAR.” “By making a commitment to improved energy efficiency, Southwire is on the way to enhancing its bottom line while protecting our environment,” said Cindy Jacobs, Chief of EPA’s ENERGY STAR Commercial and Industrial Branch. A leader in technology and innovation, Southwire Company, LLC is one of North America’s largest wire and cable producers and an emerging influence in many important electrical markets. Southwire and its subsidiaries manufacture building wire and cable, utility products, metal-clad cable, portable and electronic cord products, OEM wire products and engineered products. In addition, Southwire supplies assembled products, contractor equipment, electrical components, hand tools and jobsite power and lighting solutions, and the company provides a variety of field and support services to customers around the world. For more information about Southwire’s products, its community involvement and its vision of sustainability, visit www.southwire.com.

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This is a part-time, day-shift, 1099 independent contractor position requiring three to four full days of work the first few days of each month. No benefits. Distribution experience preferred, but we will train. Submit qualifications/resume to admin@westgeorgiawoman.com No phone calls, please.

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Kids Korner Popsicle Stick Turkey

Materials Various colored markers Black, yellow, red orange and brown construction paper Googly eyes Scissors Hot glue Popsicle sticks

By Jordan Dailey Craft photos by Zachary Dailey

Instructions Color seven popsicle sticks to resemble turkey feathers. Then cut out a rectangle for the body, pilgrim hat, buckle, beak, wattle and two turkey feet from the construction paper. Glue pieces together to resemble the image below. Glue all pieces to the body of the turkey. Glue the popsicle sticks to the back of the body.

Potted Pilgrim Hat Materials Small clay pot Ribbon Button Hot Glue Black Marker or paint

Instructions Color or paint a small clay pot black. Glue the ribbon around the base and above the neck of the pot. Glue a button in the center of the ribbon on top of the two cut ends. WGW

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Thanksgiving Word Search

Word Bank Turkey Rolls Gravy Football Pie Family Thankful Wishbone Stuffing Spices Sweater Greens Roast Potatoes Shopping Holidays

Word search created at puzzle-maker.com

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