Woman
Complimentary
September 2020
West Georgia
TM
Jennifer Lee Remembering Logan's Smile
Could Suicide Be Hereditary?
Learning to Live Again A Mother Shares Her Heartbreak After Losing Her Teen Daughter to Suicide 1
This publication is dedicated in loving memory of all of those who have lost their lives to suicide. They will remain forever in our hearts ...
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Tristan Alexander Brooks May 15, 1993 – September 1 7, 2015
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Destin Lee shares her journey after the loss of her brother, Logan. Page 39 Photo by Zachary Dailey
What’s inside... 12
The Women He Left Behind
39
Life Without Logan
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Know the Warning Signs of Suicide
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Is Suicide Hereditary?
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Kids Korner
29
Remembering Jayla
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Don't Let Your Story End Here
Soul stealing. Those are the words that I think of when I contemplate the devastating effects of suicide. Five years ago, on Sept. 17, 2015, my beautiful nephew, Tristan, lost his life to suicide. I don't believe I will ever be able to adequately convey to you the tremendous impact suicide has on the loved ones left behind. Even after five years, I still have tremendous guilt, grief and questions. As the years pass by, the pain isn't as raw, but the loss of my sweet nephew is something that changed my life, and the lives of all of my family members, forever. I miss him. My hope is that after reading this issue, you will become more empathetic, more informed and more aware of how devastating it is to lose a friend or loved one to suicide. I hope you will read this issue in earnest and become more knowledgeable of the warning signs, learn how to talk to others about suicide and feel more empowered to reach out and help someone who may be having thoughts of taking their own life. I want you to know you may be able to help save the life of someone in your family, a student, co-worker or a friend just by asking a few simple questions: • • • • • • •
How are you dealing with the things that are happening in your life? Do you ever feel like just giving up? Are you thinking about hurting yourself? Angela, with her beloved nephew Tristan. Are you thinking about dying or having thoughts about suicide? Have you ever tried to hurt yourself or thought about suicide before? Do you have a plan? Have you thought about when or how you might do it? Do you have weapons or items in your home or around you that you might use to hurt yourself?
Asking someone these questions won't make them do something self-destructive. In fact, giving them an opportunity to talk about their feelings may reduce the risk of them acting on those thoughts, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. If they are having thoughts of suicide, don't act shocked, judgmental or tell them to snap out of it. Be respectful, acknowledge their feelings, encourage them to call the free suicide prevention lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or text the word, "TALK" to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the crisis text line for free, 24/7 and offer to help them take the necessary steps to seek professional help. Most important, do not leave them alone, and remove all items they may be able to use to hurt themselves. To find out more about suicide and prevention, please go to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website at www.afsp.org and help us fight suicide in West Georgia. By educating yourself and others about suicide, you may help save a life one day. May I ask a favor of you? World Suicide Prevention Day is on Thursday, Sept. 10. Thousands of people around the world will light a single candle near a window at 8 p.m. to show their support for suicide prevention, to remember a lost loved one and for the survivors of suicide loss. Would you light a candle with us to remember our loved ones included in this issue and the other beautiful souls who left this world too soon? Also, if you have a moment, please say a prayer for our precious Tristan and our family on Sept. 17. In This Issue We are always thankful for our courageous survivors who share their own personal stories of hope and healing with our readers. They have shared stories of their tragic loss with you in hopes of helping other survivors navigate the loss of a special person to suicide, to encourage suicide awareness and prevention, or perhaps help save the life of someone who may be contemplating suicide. First, we have a story from four women who lost a very special young man in their lives. Logan Willis was only 19 years old when he left this world. There are so many people he left behind who are struggling with the grief, anger and bewilderment of his tragic death. Read about Logan and the women he left behind on page 12. On page 39, Destin Lee, Logan's sister, shares more about the complicated grief that often comes along with losing a loved one to suicide. Next, Kristie Mayne shares her poignant story of losing her beautiful daughter, Jayla Phipps, to suicide in 2015. Jayla was a strong and athletic young woman with a sparkling personality. She was only 13 years old when she passed away. Read more about Kristie and how she's honoring Jayla's memory on page 29. Finally we explore the topic of family history and suicide with Jason Faircloth. Jason has lost at least three relatives to suicide on his father's side of the family. Learn more about the effects of suicide in families on page 41. Please share this issue with everyone you know to help bring awareness in our communities. Together, we can make a difference in the fight against suicide in West Georgia. If you're struggling with thoughts of suicide, please ask for help. Your life is a beautiful gift to the world, and you matter to others more than you realize. Don't let your beautiful story end here. Please don't ever give up. Take care,
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Publisher
Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference. TM
West Georgia Woman is a voice for and about the women who live and work in West Georgia. Our mission is to engage, inspire, and cultivate a cohesive community for all women in West Georgia by sharing our hopes, our dreams and our lives. This magazine would not be possible without the inclusion of our advertising partners. Please be sure to show your support by doing business with these VIP’s (very important partners) so we will be able to continue to share with you our stories about amazing West Georgia women! Please be sure to tell them we sent you!
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The views, opinions, positions or strategies expressed by the contributing authors are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, positions or strategies of Angel Media, LLC., West Georgia Woman magazine or any employee thereof. Angel Media, LLC. makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, correctness, suitability, or validity of any information in this publication and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. This issue is not intended to imply that it will prevent a suicide from occurring by reading the editorial within. All editorial is for informational purposes only. If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please go to the nearest emergency room or dial 9-1-1 for help.
Volume 5 • Issue 11 September 2020
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Sales@westgeorgiawoman.com Angela Brooks Dailey, owner and publisher of West Georgia Woman magazine, has lived in West Georgia most of her life and has a deep love and appreciation for the area. She received her B.B.A in management from The University of West Georgia in Carrollton, Ga., and is a Civil and Domestic Relations mediator and arbitrator registered with the Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution. She lives in Carrollton, and has two wonderful children, Zachary and Sydney Dailey. Angela enjoys reading, spending time with her children and extended family and loves to watch Sydney play soccer.
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The Women He Left Behind
By Angela Dailey Photos by Zachary Dailey 12 Left to right: Destin Lee, Michelle Noles, Hailey Reece and Jennifer Lee.
Charles Logan Willis (Logan) 7/24/1999 – 9/13/2018
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C
harles Logan Willis (Logan) had a smile that would light up a room, but he reserved that smile only for the people he trusted most. If you were ever privileged enough to be the recipient of one of Logan's smiles, then you were very lucky indeed. "Logan had a smile that could just melt your heart," shares Jennifer Lee, who had Guardianship of Logan for almost a year. "That is one thing I hope I never forget. His smile, his personality, his life mattered to us. We are so blessed to have had Logan in our lives – even if only for a short time."
Jennifer and her family, and even went on vacations with them. Chris and Logan were inseparable, along with Logan's best friend, Colton. "Whatever one of them did, all of them did," Jennifer says. Logan was only 5 feet tall, so the family gave him the nickname 'Minion' (a cartoon character from the movie Despicable Me). "When you put a safety vest and a hard hat on Logan, he looked just like a Minion," Jennifer laughs. About a year or two after meeting Logan, Jennifer received a phone call from his mother. She asked Jennifer if they would take guardianship of Logan. Without even asking A Welcome Addition her husband, Tim, who was right beside her at the time, Jennifer Logan, quite literally, walked immediately told her they into the lives of the Lee family would. by chance. He was walking Jennifer wasted no time home from football practice, Left to right: Jennifer, Logan and Chris. with the process. The next when Jennifer and her son, Personal photos courtesy of Jennifer Lee. morning she went to the Chris, drove up beside him. courthouse and completed the Chris told Jennifer the boy was a new kid who required paperwork. That afternoon, Tim and Logan lived on their road so, she stopped and offered completed theirs. They would soon be Logan's Logan a ride. From that point on, Logan was almost always with official guardians. "I loved Logan as if he was my
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own child, but that is not to take anything away from his biological mother," Jennifer explains. "She will always be his mother. I am thankful she gave us the opportunity to have Logan in our family." His mother remained in Logan's life and he spent time with her as well as with Jennifer and her family. Two weeks before having Logan for a full year, they relinquished their guardianship at Logan's request. Logan wanted to be with his biological sister, Destin. He was gone six months before he came back. But he was never really gone. He still spent time with both families. Because he would soon be 18, they never filed the guardianship paperwork again. "When we were growing up, Logan was quiet," Destin says. "We jumped from house to house. That kind of made us depressed. My dad was never there. We always wanted a dad. Logan never said anything about suicide, he just kept it all inside. He drank and smoked pot to keep his pain away." "During the course of knowing Logan, it took him some time to open up to us, but he did," Jennifer shares. "We were finally able to show
him that we were there for him and we loved him as if we had brought him into this world. I want you to understand that Logan was not a perfect child, even though my other three children would tell you that he was my favorite. Like any household that has multiple children, there are no favorites. And if he was standing right in front of me right now, I would throat-punch him for putting us through this." "Mom always "His smile, his personality, had a nice his life mattered to us. We little haze are so blessed to have had around Logan in our lives – even if her when only for a short time." it came to the boys (Chris, Logan and Colton)," laughs Michelle Noles, Tim and Jennifer's daughter. "She never believed us when we would tell her Jennifer 15Lee
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they were doing something wrong. My brother, Chris, was always the favorite in the family, until Logan came along. No, Logan wasn't perfect, but he was important to us." Hailey Reece, the Lees' oldest daughter usually took on the role of "Mama," when Jennifer wasn't around. She was the one who would keep everyone in order and remind the other kids of what they were supposed to be doing. "I met Logan right after high school," Hailey says. "I was living my own life. But, I remember if Mama asked Logan to go take out the trash, Logan would jump up and take out the trash." Michelle agrees. "Whenever Logan was asked to do something, he would just do it, every time," she says. "He would just snap to it." "Logan was a suck-up," chimes in Destin, who is now married to Jennifer's son, Chris. "Michelle and Chris were much closer to Logan than I was," says Hailey. "I never wanted to work in the family business and my focus was my growing family and career. So, I regret the time I missed with them all – the memories that could have been made with all of them that were missed due to our different stages of life." Jennifer never thought that she would be dealing with the loss of a child to suicide. She expected the typical scraped knees, broken hearts and fender benders. "Those are all the things you are prepared for," she says. "Not the death of a child. Especially not death by suicide. His pain may have ended, but it has been transferred to so many people who love Logan."
A Change in Demeanor On Christmas night in 2017, a girl Logan was dating off and on called Destin with some disturbing news. "She said, 'Your brother just wrecked and he said he's going to kill himself,' Destin says. "That was the first time we had ever heard anything about him saying he was going to do something like that. It wasn't like he said it all the time." Logan denied his threats of self-harm, telling his family he was just angry at the time. Over the last several months of Logan's life, the family began to notice a change in him. He was in a troubled relationship, and they tried to convince him to remove himself from that toxic environment. Logan tried multiple times to leave the relationship, and even had Jennifer change his phone number at one point, but something always brought him back. "He would always say, 'You don't
Warning Signs of Suicide Something to look out for when concerned that a person may be suicidal is a change in behavior or the presence of entirely new behaviors. This is of sharpest concern if the new or changed behavior is related to a painful event, loss or change. Most people who take their lives exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do.
Warning sign: Talk If a person talks about: • • • • • •
Killing themselves Feeling hopeless Having no reason to live Being a burden to others Feeling trapped Unbearable pain
Warning sign: Behavior Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss or change: • Increased use of alcohol or drugs • Looking for a way to end their lives, such as searching online for methods • Withdrawing from activities • Isolating from family and friends • Sleeping too much or too little • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye • Giving away prized possessions • Aggression • Fatigue
Warning sign: Mood People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods: • • • • • • •
Depression Anxiety Loss of interest Irritability Humiliation/Shame Agitation/Anger Relief/Sudden improvement
*Warning signs provided by www.afsp.org. See page 22 for what to do if you recognize any of these warning signs.
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Logan, with Jennifer
understand, it's not that easy,'" Jennifer explains. "He told us that several times." He knew he needed to get out of the relationship, but it seemed as if he felt compelled to stay. By September 2018, his girlfriend was expecting a child, and had told Logan he was the father, according to Jennifer. She and Michelle had several conversations with Logan about the baby. He wasn't sure what course of action he should take. They told him they would support his decision no matter what. "He began using pills," Destin says. "I knew he was on something. Chris asked him, and his excuse was that he was just tired because he'd been working the night shift." "I lost a baby by miscarriage and I got a tattoo to honor the baby," says Michelle. "Logan noticed my tattoo a week before he died. He said to me, 'Do you have depression?' I never talked about it to anyone because they didn't understand. After I lost my baby, I didn't want to live. Thankfully, I was able to get out of that dark place. I explained everything to him, but I never thought that Logan had an issue. I thought he was just curious. He asked me, 'How do you overcome yours?' Hindsight is 20/20. I think he was reaching out and opening up to me about his own depression." Logan moved in with his girlfriend just three weeks before he passed away, although he would still come by the Lee's to shower, eat and wash his clothes. The Monday before Logan passed away, his girlfriend had a prenatal appointment. Logan learned that the baby was not his. "He wanted to be a dad, and he wanted to be better than his dad," Destin says. "He came to my office Monday and he was so upset," Michelle says. "I asked him over and over
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again, 'What is wrong with you?' He kept saying, 'Nothing, Chelle.' Then, he just looked at me and said, 'The baby's not mine. I don't know what I'm going to do.' I told him, 'If you don't want to be with her, don't be with her. Just go home.' He said, 'It's not that easy.' I told him to sleep on it and think about it. On Tuesday he came to work like normal." "My dad went to see Logan the day before he died," Destin says. "He wanted Logan to use Tim's company gas card for gas and wanted Logan to sell Tim a stolen generator. Logan stood up to him and refused. He said he wasn't going to do that to them. My dad got mad at Logan and told Logan his girlfriend was no good and was being unfaithful." On Wednesday, Logan and his girlfriend argued through text most of the day, according to Jennifer. He told the young woman repeatedly that he was going to kill her, then himself. Jennifer says his girlfriend never reached out to anyone for help and she didn't contact anyone in Logan's family. "At this point, I would rather him be in jail for the threats instead of his ashes being divided up between a few homes and sitting on people's mantles," Jennifer relates. After Logan passed away, the girlfriend sent screenshots of the texts to the family. "He told her, 'If you break my heart one more time, I'll kill you and then I'll kill myself,' Destin says. That same day, Logan and Chris were working for Tim installing traffic signals. While he was arguing with his girlfriend by text, not one person he worked with, or anyone in the family, knew he was considering suicide. "The day he died, we had to sit in the police
Left to right: Michelle, Logan and Chris
station with her – the only one who knew he had threatened suicide all day – while they conducted the investigation and interviewed all of us," Jennifer says. "Why didn't she seek help? I will never understand this." Logan had conversations that day with both Chris and Michelle, who also worked for Tim. "On Wednesday, we had a meeting to go to in Cartersville," Michelle says. "We're sitting beside each other, and I said to him, 'What is wrong with you? You look like crap.'" Logan told her he was just tired. When she pressed him for more information, he told her he knew the baby wasn't his. He told her he was going to leave his girlfriend and everything would be fine. "He worked all day, and somehow, he found the time to send his girlfriend those texts all day long," Jennifer says. "He called Tim after work and made plans to take one of the work trucks to get new tires the next day. He spoke with our neighbor, Christy, who had stopped to check on the boys when she saw them working. Christy saw nothing out of the ordinary. Logan spoke with me on the phone and through text that evening. Not once did I have a clue that something was wrong. How could I not see that or hear that?"
Every day, Jennifer, Michelle and Hailey have a three-way call on their 30-minute commutes to work. "Those conversations are almost always about the boys," Hailey laughs. During the call, Jennifer told Michelle she would have to send Chris to go get Logan for work. "I had no idea what I was sending Chris to find," Jennifer shares. "Mom said, 'Hey, Logan didn't show up for work today," Michelle says. "I thought, 'Logan's never late, Logan doesn't call in, Logan's not my problem child with all my employees.' I told her, 'Maybe he just overslept, I know he was tired yesterday. I'll send Chris and one of my employees to go wake him up.' So, I sent them with the truck to go get Logan. I was standing on the porch with my dad and my little brother calls. I had him on speakerphone and he says, 'Logan's dead.' I told him that wasn't funny and he told me he wasn't laughing. It took us a while to find the place because we had no idea where he lived. He'd only been there three weeks. "When we got there, Chris was on the ground in the fetal position and the employee was holding him. They were only 19 and 20 years old and didn't know what to do. They didn't even call the police. My dad and I ran back there, even with them telling
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Life Changing News The morning Logan passed away, Jennifer tried calling Chris and Logan to tell them they needed to be on time for work – Tim had a big job and needed their help. Neither one of the boys answered. Logan had recently borrowed her phone charger, so she assumed the battery in his phone had died. Just as she was leaving for work, Chris pulled into the driveway. She told him he would probably have to drive to Logan's house and wake him up. "I left, not knowing anything was wrong or that my life as I knew it was completely changed," she shares.
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but I couldn't hear. I could see, but I couldn't see. I felt sick and had to vomit. I wanted to pass out. I couldn't figure out how he died, and nothing made sense. I had just spoken to him not even 12 hours ago. He said, 'I love you.' What the hell ... why? Why didn't he go to someone – anyone? I went to work with a husband and four children, and I left work with only three children." Kim and her husband, Cory, drove Jennifer to Logan's house. "I am sure Cory was driving the speed limit, but it felt like I could have walked faster than the car was moving," she says. When they got to his house, Jennifer wanted to go to Logan, but the emergency responders wouldn't let her see him. "I just wanted to hug him. I wanted to do CPR to bring him back," she says. "I thought, 'I treat patients all day – I could treat him. I could save him.' They
kept telling me I didn't want to see him like that. I thought, 'Who are you to tell me what I do or don't need? I need to see him. He could still have a heartbeat. There may still be hope.'"
A Traumatic Experience The viewing and the funeral were all a blur to Jennifer. She couldn't even wrap her head around what had happened. She and Destin stayed with Logan the entire time. His mother had made the decision that Logan would be cremated – something the Lee family and Destin really didn't want. "I did not have a say in his arrangements," Destin explains. "I was not allowed to make any decisions. My mom made all of the arrangements and decided to have him cremated." "Our personal preference – from this side of the family – was that we would have preferred to have had Logan buried," Michelle says. "Logan's urn sits on my mantle. For vacations, or if we have storms at my house, I grab Logan and take him with me." After the funeral, Jennifer, Tim, Destin, Hailey and Hailey's husband, Jonathan, chose to escort Logan to the cremation site. Chris and Michelle just couldn't bring themselves to go after the traumatic experience they had already been through. "We just couldn't leave Logan by himself going to the crematorium," says Hailey, overcome with emotion. "We had never been through the process, and that is something I would never recommend to anyone – I wish I had not," Jennifer shares. Logan's boots, photos and the urn with The family his ashes hold a place of honor in Jenniwas allowed fer's living room.
" I didn't talk to Logan for four months before he died ... I struggle with that a lot. I keep telling myself that if I would have been there, he would have talked to me. I could have been there for him ..."
Destin Lee
to say goodbye to Logan one last time before he was cremated. Before he was brought in, the family was reminded that he would be in a cardboard box. "I don't know how long we stood there with Logan," says Jennifer tearfully. "Destin and myself, fussing over his hair, fixing the collar on his shirt, rubbing his face and holding his hands. A cardboard box ... his life was so much more than that. I kept thinking that if I hadn't signed those papers to relinquish guardianship, I would have had control over his final arrangements. There's nowhere to go. I have an urn in there. He's divided up between us." Logan was Chris' best friend and Destin's biological brother. When Chris and Destin later married, they made sure Logan was a part of the wedding. Destin carried him in her flowers and Chris had a small broach pinned to his lapel.
Survivor Guilt As a mother and a healthcare worker, Jennifer blamed herself for not knowing Logan was in pain. "I really struggled with the thoughts that I couldn't take care of him," she shares. "I didn't know anything was wrong. I felt so incompetent as a nurse – how did I miss that. Hindsight is 20/20 when you look back now. Every day I can look at a patient and address every one of their issues all day long. That's what I do. And I'm good at it. I missed every sign. And I had an excuse for all of his behaviors. "How could I love someone so much and have no clue that he was struggling with depression or mental health issues? The weight of being the last person to talk to him is so heavy. What did I miss? You wonder, in those last couple of hours, what deep, dark hole did he get in that he didn't see any other way? He could have come home. They know this. They can all come home. I can't imagine him thinking of any of us
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during that moment. I haunting thoughts. Is Someone You Know Displaying One or don't think he did." Survivors of suicide loss More of the Warning Signs of Suicide?* "I know he didn't often feel self-blame as think of Destin and his if somehow they were If they are in immediate danger: nieces," says Michelle responsible for their tearfully. "Now we have loved one’s suicide • Do not leave the person alone two babies who will ... These mistaken • Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or never know their Uncle assumptions plague sharp objects that could be used in a suicide LoLo." survivors of suicide loss attempt "I didn't talk to for a very long time. • Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Logan for four months Many struggle for years Lifeline at 1.800.273.TALK (8255) before he died," says trying to make sense • Text "TALK" to 741741 to text with a trained Destin, overcome with of their loved one’s crisis counselor from the crisis text line for emotion. "Once he and death – and even longer free, 24/7 his girlfriend got back making peace – if at all • Take the person to an emergency room or together, she made him – with the unanswerable seek help from a medical or mental health stop talking to me. He questions that linger." professional couldn't come around. "We still struggle I've struggled with that a *See page 17 to learn how to recognize the warning signs of daily with the 'Why's,' lot. I keep telling myself but we try to pull suicide. Always call 9-1-1 in an emergency. that if I would have been together to let each there, he would have talked to me. I could have person know we are here for them," Jennifer been there for him instead of adding more pressure explains. and stress to him." "I was angry because he didn't ask for help, but Life After Suicide I am also saddened, mostly, knowing that he was hurting so badly on the inside," Hailey shares. Jennifer says she never knew what depression felt "Research has long known that suicide survivors like until Logan passed away. There are some days move through very distinctive bereavement issues," she doesn't even want to get out of bed, but she says Deborah Serani Psy.D. "Family and friends are keeps going in spite of the pain. prone to feeling significant bewilderment about the "We keep getting up," she relates. "We each suicide. Why did this happen? How did I not see have bad days or moments that we just can't this coming? Overwhelming guilt about what they breathe or we feel like we need to scream, fight, cry should have done more of or less of – become daily, or just break down. But then, we just pick ourselves up and continue on with the day. The one thing "I was angry that no one can take away from me is our memories because he didn't and his last words: 'Tim is my father and you are my ask for help, but I mother.' There's not anywhere I look that I don't see am also saddened, Logan. His boots are in my living room. I don't want mostly, knowing that him to not be included. We've made quilts, baby he was hurting so blankets and memory bears out of his clothes for the badly on the inside." kids. The two babies who came later will never know Logan." "My parents only found out since Logan what depression actually feels like," says Michelle. "I've been suffering from depression since I was 12 years old. I kept it from my parents for a really long time. You're so tired. You're so hurt. Because no one understands what it's like to wake up every day in emotional pain. Something is mentally wrong with you. You're sad, you're upset, you're in pain. Until you've experienced it, no one understands how hard Hailey Reece it is to live with that every day. You can't explain it –
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"When I drive by our old job sites I still see the 18-year-old little kid in the bucket truck who was so proud that he remembered what he needed to do. I'll take this pain over never knowing him."
met him?' Of course not, we'll take this pain over not ever knowing him. If I can save just one family from experiencing what we are going through, then I can live with that. I would still do everything all over again, hopefully, with a different outcome. I know I am blessed to have Destin, Logan's biological sister, as my daughter-in-law and their three girls. We were brought together for a reason. I strongly believe that." "When I drive by our old job sites I still see the 18-year-old little kid in the bucket truck who was so proud that he remembered what he needed to do," shares Michelle. "I'll take this pain over never knowing him. And, Logan brought us closer to Destin." "As a person struggling with the loss of my brother, I am still in denial, I am still angry, I am still sad and heartbroken," Hailey says. "I was and still am confused on how to accept his decision, but that Michelle Noles is ok. This is how I am supposed to feel about this there is no explaining it. I wish people wouldn't look situation. Nobody ever said it would be easy to deal with it. Just take it day by day." at suicide as being weak or selfish, because it's not. "Logan will always be my baby brother, and I will People who do that are in deep, emotional pain." love him so much, forever," Destin says. Jennifer wants people to understand that suicide Last year, for Logan's birthday they made "Pay it should never be a thought, option or consideration. Forward," cards to honor Logan's life. Jennifer says Suicide is preventable, and there is help available. they have been distributed from here to California Studies have shown that 90 percent of all people and New York, and all over the United States. who die by suicide experience some type of mental The purpose of illness, such as depression or anxiety, the cards is to pay according to the for someone's meal, National Alliance on coffee, groceries or Mental Illness. anything the person But there is hope wants to do for for those who are another person as an suffering. These act of kindness. Just illnesses are most leave one of Logan's often treatable with cards behind and ask medication and the recipient to pay therapy. it forward to the next "Whatever you are person. going through, you "I used to pray can get through it. for an easy life," I promise," Jennifer Jennifer relates. "Now explains. "I want I pray God gives me to bring light on a the strength to get dark subject that so through my journey. many people are Our lives are forever uncomfortable talking changed by Logan's about. I want to bring The front and back of Logan's "Pay it Forward" cards. smile, and the impact awareness to what that he had on his friends and all of us. Logan was you leave behind. I want people to understand the such a good soul – willing to help anyone and fight aftermath. Our lives will never be the same. I had for the ones he loved. Logan's life mattered." WGW someone ask me, 'Would you rather have not ever
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Edie at work in her courtroom.
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Daily Fare With
e s o R f e h C
Photos by Zachary Dailey
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Chef Rose Isaacs is a native of Carroll County and lives in Carrollton with her husband Shawn and their son, Sebastian. She graduated from West Georgia Technical College in 2013 with a degree in Culinary Arts. After graduation, she began her career as a chef at the Carrollton Kroger Marketplace where she works in the bistro.
"
This pairs well with jasmine rice. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different flavors of curry sauces such as spicy, red or green.
"
Chicken Sweet Potato and Kale with Coconut Curry Sauce Ingredients
1/2 pound boneless skinless chicken breast 2 medium sweet potatoes 1/2 bunch fresh kale 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 jar (about 11.8 ounces) of coconut curry or similar sauce
Preparation Peel and dice sweet potatoes into 1/2-inch cubes.
Wash and thinly slice kale, removing middle stem. Dice chicken breast into 3/4 inch cubes.
Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add sweet potato cubes and cook for 7 to 8 minutes. Add diced chicken and cook until chicken is browned
and no longer pink.
Add chopped kale and jar of curry sauce. Stir together.
Turn heat to low and simmer for 5 to 8 more minutes or
until a fork passes easily through one of the potatoes. Serves 4.
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Lavender Honey Lemonade "
Substitute the cold water with cold sparkling water for a refreshing and bubbly treat.
"
Ingredients 2 cups water
3/4 cup local honey
2 teaspoon dried culinary (non-chemically treated) lavender flowers
1 cup fresh lemon juice (about 4 large lemons) 3 cups cold water
Preparation
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Heat 2 cups of water and 3/4 cup of honey over medium-heat until mixture simmers, about 10 minutes. Add lavender flowers and simmer for 2 to 3 more minutes. Strain mixture through fine mesh strainer to remove lavender and discard flowers. Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour. Add lemon juice and cold water to honey mixture. Serve over ice. Serves 4. WGW
Remembering Jayla
Jayla Rebecca Phipps 3/30/2001 – 1/25/2015
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J
was going to be ... her. She just did her thing and ayla Rebecca Phipps, a beautiful, blue-eyed didn't care what anyone thought." baby girl, came into the world March 30, 2001. Jayla had a bright and promising future ahead She was a happy baby, she never fussed and of her, but on Jan. 25, 2015, when she was just 13 always slept through the night, according to her years old, she tragically took mom, Kristie Mayne. her own life. As she grew older and transitioned into grade school, she had no trouble making new A Bitter Divorce friends. Her teachers adored Kristie and Jayla’s father her, and she was an excellent went through a difficult divorce, student. She began playing and when Jayla was 10, a bitter soccer at an early age, and custody battle ended with her excelled as a goalie for the and her brother Marshal, 13, recreational soccer team in living with their dad full-time. Fullerville, Ga. Kristie had visitation rights with The transition from the children. elementary to middle school Jayla began to exhibit signs can be difficult for some of depression and anxiety children, but Jayla made it after the custody disputes. She seem easy. "She was just so began acting out and cutting vibrant and full of life," says herself. Self-injury is the act her mother. "She never met of deliberately harming your a stranger – she was always own body through cutting laughing, always smiling, All personal photos in article courtesy of Kristie Mayne. or burning. This type of selfhappy-go-lucky, she made injury is a harmful way to cope friends very easily – she just loved everybody. And everybody loved her. She was with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration, according to the Mayo Clinic. a great kid." "Toward the end, Jayla started cutting really bad," A student at Bay Springs Middle School (BSMS) in she says. "A few weeks before she died, she called Villa Rica, Ga., she tried out for the goalie position me crying one night and told me she felt horrible on the co-ed soccer team."She was a tough little about herself." booger," Kristie laughs. "I would see her take a ball Jayla's friends had noticed some changes in her to the face and she would go down, pop right back up, and keep right on going. I was worried about her demeanor, but for the most part, she hid her playing on a co-ed team because boys are rougher pain very well. In photos than girls and kick the ball harder. She said, 'Mom, of her just a few weeks I've got this.' She wasn't afraid at all." before she passed away, Jayla earned her place on the soccer team and her beaming smile was became BSMS' first ever female goalie. As an avid always present. athlete, she also earned a spot on the cheerleading "Jayla was so spirited," team. she explains. "To be Quite the unconventional child, Jayla marched to depressed, you don't the beat of her own drum. She was a strong young have to look sad. You can lady who enjoyed carrying her cheer friends around be the life of the party on her back or in her arms. just like she was. She She dressed differently than the other girls and had so much going on often had a cute, short haircut – always with a streak with her extracurricular of color running through it – unlike most of the girls activities. It's not always who kept their hair long. the ones with the "She was so strong," says Kristie. "She was depressed face. It's the beautiful. She loved lifting people up and making people who seem super them laugh. She was very eccentric in the way she Jayla, left, loved lifting people dressed. She didn't care what anybody thought. She happy that you have to up and making them laugh.
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other parent, it's difficult to worry about, too." know exactly what is going Although Jayla was in on." counseling, she became increasingly troubled and made her first attempt at Devastating News taking her own life one month before she passed The day Jayla passed away. away, she was extremely After the attempt, Jayla distraught. Jayla and a was placed in Willowbrooke, friend had stayed at Jayla's a mental health facility in Villa paternal grandmother's Rica, for two weeks. “She house the night before. was in a terrible predicament, That night, Jayla asked her she really was,” remembers brother to take her and her Kristie. “She was in a terrible friend to go pick up a boy place in her life." she knew who lived a short Jayla, right, with her brother, Marshal (center), and their A little over a week distance away. Only 13 years half sister Kirsten Grace (KG), left. before Jayla passed away, old and in the eighth grade, she messaged Kristie that she had been awake for Jayla was not yet allowed to have a boyfriend. three days straight, she felt really wired and couldn't When Marshal took the boy home later, the boy's sleep. "They had her on quite a bit of medication father caught him sneaking back into the house and after the first attempt," she says. immediately called Jayla's grandmother, who then "I honestly feel that it wasn't the right called Jayla's dad. Her dad told Jayla that he was combination for her as well. I remember thinking at going to address the situation with her when he got the time, 'This is not good. You haven't slept in three off work and picked her up the next day. days.' But when you can't communicate with the "She called me the next morning from her
Bullying Hurts More Than The Victim
• Bullying has serious and lasting negative effects on the mental health and overall well-being of youth. • Bullying contributes to depression, anxiety, sexual and interpersonal violence, substance abuse, poor school performance and attendance, and poor social functioning in youth who bully others, youth who are bullied and youth who are both bullied and bully others. • Youth who report frequently bullying others and those who report being bullied frequently are at increased risk for suicide-related behaviors. • Youth who report both bullying others and being bullied (bully-victims) have the highest risk for suicide-related behavior of any groups that report involvement in bullying. • Youth who observe and don’t participate in bullying behavior feel helpless and have significantly more feelings of not being supported by or connected with responsible adults (parents and school teachers/administration).
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of her dress-up clothes in there. Her cheerleading uniform was also on display. The Bay Springs Middle School team shared their love for Jayla by signing personal messages on a soccer ball and gave it to Kristie. Jayla would have graduated high school in May 2019, a difficult milestone for a mother who has lost her child. The 2019 graduating class saved an empty seat for Jayla during the ceremony. "Her graduation was hard, but you just have to keep going," she explains. On the way home after the graduation ceremony, KG, Jayla’s half sister, had some questions for Kristie. She wanted to know the truth about what happened to Jayla. "KG was 11 by then. We went home and sat down with her and told her how Jayla passed away," she shares. "She was only 6 years old when Jayla died, so we didn't tell her right away. "She has just started middle school, and this age freaks me out because Jayla died at 13 and KG just turned 12. She has a lot of anxiety. I've been very open with her and have always been avid about talking with her about her mental health. I've talked to her about suicide. We don't beat around the bush around here about that. And she knows I'm an advocate. She knows I'm on Facebook, Instagram and at church talking about it. The other day she asked me, 'Mama, would you ever do what sissy did?' I told her, 'Absolutely not. No, Kirsten. I know the pain that leaves behind.'" Kristie and KG's dad are divorced, but the relationship is very amicable. They have 50/50 custody of KG, and Kristie says they get along better now than they did when they were married. "He told me when we divorced that KG will never have to go through what Jayla went through," she says. "We just do whatever is best for her. Whatever she wants, if she's happy and safe, then we don't worry about the custody stuff too much."
grandmother's house," Kristie says. "She said, 'Mom, I'm in a lot of trouble.' She begged me to come get her." That was the last time Kristie would speak with her daughter. That day, Jayla told her friend multiple times that she was going to harm herself. Concerned about her repeated threats of self-harm, the friend went to get help from Jayla's grandmother. She had only left Jayla for less than five minutes, but the help came too late. "I found out from a friend who worked as a supervisor at the 9-1-1 center in Douglas County," she shares. "She called and asked me if my husband, Weston, was with me. I told her he was and I asked her what was wrong. She said, 'Kristie, you need to get to the hospital right now. Jayla tried to take her own life.' I just hit the ground. My husband picked me up and was carrying me out to the car. I asked my friend if Jayla was alive and she told me they had called Life Flight but had cancelled the flight. I knew she was gone, then. I knew before I ever got to the hospital." Kristie's best friend met them at the hospital. Word had gotten out very quickly about the tragedy, and people from her church began gathering to offer support. "It was a horrible time," Kristie shares. Per her wishes, Jayla was laid to rest on a mountaintop in Kentucky beside her beloved Pop Pop, her paternal grandfather. At her memorial service, Kristie displayed items of Jayla's in her Pop Pop's open suitcase. Jayla loved that Jayla's vintage suitcase holds her cheer and soccer old suitcase and had kept all uniforms, her cheer pom poms and her soccer balls.
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Stuck in the Middle Suicide is a very complex public health issue. There are almost always multiple factors, including psychiatric illnesses, that may not have been recognized or treated, when someone dies by suicide. But these illnesses are treatable,
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and there is hope for those who are suffering, according the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Kristie believes that the lack of responsible coparenting was one of the contributing factors to Jayla's death. "We were not able to coparent effectively," she relates. "It messes these children up. Kids need parents who get along. I don't care why you got divorced or whose fault it was. Parents should be involved in their kids' lives. "The more people they have in their lives who love them, the better. Do not use your children as pawns in your divorce. Do not put them in the middle of it and keep turmoil going. That is not good for children. It just isn't. It destroys them. Kids should not have that burden on top of everything else the world throws at them."
both 13 and passed away within a month of each other," she explains. "My sister, who is a teacher in Kentucky, along with some of her friends said they wanted to do something to honor Jayla and Jathan and bring more awareness to suicide and drug and substance use, so the J & J 5K was created." The J & J consists of a 5K glow run with medals for the winners of different age groups. They hire a company to come in and record the running times, everyone dresses up in their t-shirts, and at the end of the night, all of the participants go to the local football field to release luminaries in honor of family members who have passed away. "That is their time to remember their loved ones, no matter how they've passed," she says. The proceeds from the participant entry fees are given to one deserving student to pay for the student's first year of college. "The 5K and helping kids go to college is one huge thing that I love that has come out of all this," she shares. "The kids who apply for the scholarship fill out an application and get reference letters from their church, teachers or employer. Jathan's mom and I go through the applications and choose the winner. We've paid for the first year of college for four kids so far – a total of $24,000. The student who received the first scholarship in 2015 graduated from college in 2019. All of the kids are fabulous. They've done so well." This would have been J & J's fifth year for the 5K, but the event was cancelled due to COVID-19.
Waiting on Eternity Her friends and her church family have been a huge support system for Kristie. She attends Crossroads Church in Douglasville and actively volunteers with special needs children every Sunday. "My faith and my church does me more good
Honoring Jayla's Life Kristie is a huge advocate for suicide awareness and prevention. She shares her story and memories of Jayla often on her Facebook and Instagram channels. She is also actively involved in the J & J 5K in her hometown of Barbourville, Ky., every year. "My friend's son, Jathan Patterson, and Jayla were
$24,000 in proceeds from the J & J 5K honoring Jayla and Jathan have been given to four deserving students since 2015.
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than anything," she shares. "Everyone asks me, 'Are you not mad at God?' I never went through that. My mom did. My church is my refuge. I know one day I will be reunited with her – that's what keeps me going. I'm just waiting on eternity. That's what I tell myself. I'm very lucky to have some wonderful friends who have been so supportive during this time. My church family and my faith is what gets me through every single day. I just know that I have to keep the faith and that I'll be with her again." Kristie tries to remain positive for Kirsten, but she still has some bad days. "She sees me cry sometimes, but when I do it's usually when she's not around or when she goes to bed at night," she explains. "If I've had a bad day, I'll have my meltdown, but afterward, I'll put on that smile for her and just keep going. I take things one day at a time. And for Kirsten, I can't sit at home and mope and lay in the bed. She is my purpose to get up every day and keep going. Every day." She is proud that her pastor, Greg Towler, is not afraid to address suicide and suicidal ideation (having suicidal thoughts, considering or planning suicide) in his sermons. Like most advocates for suicide awareness and prevention, Kristie believes it should be addressed more in churches and in school to potentially help save more lives. "It's kind of a taboo subject," she explains. "You just really don't want to even go there, but Greg has gone there a whole lot, and I love it that he is bringing awareness to a very serious public health issue. People should be more vocal and should not be scared to talk about mental health. If you have cancer, you take a pill. If you have diabetes, you take a pill. If you're having mental health issues, and if taking that little pill every day helps you, then take it! There's no shame in seeking treatment Kristie says her faith and her church family is for a medical problem." what helps her make it through each day.
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623 DIXIE STREET – CARROLLTON, GA Georgia House Bill 198, the Jason Flatt Act – Georgia, requires teachers, counselors and other certified public school personnel to complete two hours of youth suicide awareness and prevention training each year. The law also requires each school district to adopt a policy on suicide prevention. Kristie feels more could be done to address youth suicide awareness and prevention in schools besides just the basic minimum training requirements for school personnel. She would like to see schools offer an entire segment on mental health, suicide, depression and anxiety and strategies to help deal with these issues. "I do feel like schools need to address mental health more than they do," she says. "These kids should be able to feel comfortable saying, 'I'm not in a good place.' It should be taught exactly like they teach kids about the dangers of doing drugs. Some people say, 'If you talk about suicide, it's going to put it in their mind.' You're telling kids not to do drugs so, is it going to put it in their mind to do drugs? No. No, it's not."
Talking is Key The AFSP says if a child is talking about any level of distress, do not be afraid to ask them whether
they’re feeling changes in their mood or level of stress, or if they're having suicidal thoughts. Asking your child directly if they are thinking about suicide will not increase their risk, or plant the idea in the child's head. Instead, it will create an opportunity to offer support, and let them know you care enough to have the conversation. "I think parents should be more open with their kids," Kristie says. "They need to talk to them and ask them, 'How are you feeling? COVID really stinks doesn't it? How are you feeling mentally?' Parents worry about their kids' physical health all day long, but it just doesn't even register with a lot of parents that they need to talk to their kids about their mental health. "Kids need to know that whatever is happening in their lives right now will pass, and if they will just hold on, there is always light at the end of the
tunnel. Even as adults, we go through hard times. Everything does get better eventually." Kristie says that although raising awareness and talking about suicide has become more prevalent over the last several years, there is still much work to be done to save our children and prevent these senseless tragedies. "As hard as it is to talk about Jayla and share my story, if I save just one person or save one parent from feeling what I feel every single day, it's well worth it," she says. WGW The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a free, 24/7 service that can provide people who are having thoughts of suicide, or those around them, with support, information and local resources. Call 1.800.273.TALK (8255) if you need help or text "TALK" to 741741 to text with a trained counselor for free. Read the AFSP suicide warning signs on page 17 and what you can do to help on page 22. Always call 9-1-1 in an emergency.
Because a HOME is much more than a house.
Shala Hainer, Realtor Cell: 770.842.8500 Office: 770.240.2004 shalahainer@gmail.com 35
Local Happenings
Due to our country's current health situation, please call or email the organizations included in our local events section to inquire about in-person meetings.
West Georgia Mental Health Professionals Wellness Meetup Group
This group meets the last Saturday of every month in Douglasville or Austell. For more information, contact Cheryl at theheartmatters@gmail.com or 678.754.5840. Learn more at www.heartmatterswellness.com.
Hope For The Journey This group meets the third Thursday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in the board room at the Tracy Stallings Community Center at 118 South White St. in Carrollton. These events are free to breast cancer survivors or those currently battling breast cancer. Learn more at www.hopeforthejourneywestga.org, email execdirector@hopeforthejourneywestga.org or call 770.214.1491.
Rare Pearls Mentoring and Leadership Program Rare Pearls mission is to enrich and empower the
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lives of young girls and women. This group meets the third Saturday of each month at Heritage Baptist Church in Douglasville, from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. This program is open to all girls ages 7 to 17. For more information, call 770.947.8210, email rarepearls2015@gmail.com or visit the website at www.rarepearlsmentoringandleadership.org.
Nursing From The Heart Breastfeeding Support Group This group meets the third Monday of each month from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. at 500 Old Bremen Road in Carrollton. These events are free to pregnant women and moms looking for breastfeeding support. Free weight checks for your baby will be available. Come and share your breastfeeding journey with us. Please check our website for meeting and event updates at www.nursingfromtheheart.com.
Gertrude's House Breast Cancer Support Group This group meets the third Thursday of each month at 7 p.m. at Lithia Springs Family Chiropractic
at 1758 Lee Rd. in Lithia Springs. This group is open to all survivors, caregivers, supporters, friends, family and those fighting breast cancer. Visit their Facebook page @GertrudesHouse or email them at GertrudesHouse@yahoo.com.
Cancer Support Group at Tabernacle Baptist Church
Group meetings are the first and third Tuesday of each month from 7 to 9 p.m. at 306A Bradley Street in Carrollton. For more information, contact Ivey Rollins at iveyrollins@gmail.com or call 470.729.0909.
Daniel Jackson receives GACCE 2020 Legacy Award
Has your life been impacted by cancer – whether your own or someone you know? Tabernacle Baptist Church hosts a faith-based cancer support group providing spiritual and emotional support to those diagnosed, currently undergoing treatment, those in remission and caregivers. Meetings run from 6 to 7:15 p.m. on the third Wednesday of each month. Meetings are held in room 256 at 150 Tabernacle Drive, Carrollton, Ga. For more information, call 770.832.7063 or visit the website at tabernacle.org.
Domestic Abuse Support Group
Carroll County Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Daniel Jackson, right, receives the GACCE 2020 Legacy Award.
There is Hope is a support group for women dealing with, or who have dealt with domestic abuse. Through There is Hope, women will come together and share their personal journey, while listening to others share theirs as well. There will be guidance for help and resources available at each meeting. Meetings are free to the public. This group will meet the second Wednesday of every month. Group meetings will be held at Tanner on Robinson, 115 Robinson Ave. in Carrollton from 5 to 6:00 p.m. Contact hopefulone807@gmail.com for more information.
President and CEO of the Carroll County Chamber of Commerce Daniel Jackson was presented with the Georgia Association of Chamber of Commerce Executives' (GACCE) top award, the GACCE Legacy Award on July 9, 2020. The announcement was made at the 2020 GACCE Executive Leadership Conference held at the Jekyll Island Club Resort in Jekyll Island, Ga. For more than 20 years, the GACCE has presented the Legacy Award. The association’s most prestigious award, it recognizes long-term executives who have excelled over a period of years in leading and innovatively building their chamber. The award is based on the demonstration of excellence in areas of chamber leadership, organizational management, service to the profession, community reputation/involvement and personal attributes. Daniel has worked with Carroll Tomorrow for over Has your life been impacted by the loss of a friend 19 years and has served as the president and CEO or loved one to suicide? You are not alone. This for the Carroll County Chamber of Commerce for group offers peer support for anyone who has been over 14 years. Daniel’s previous experience includes affected by suicide loss. There is no cost to attend. 26 years in the men’s retail clothing industry as
Survivors of Suicide Loss Support Group
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vice president and partner of the Squire Shop in Carrollton, and three years with the Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative. During his retail career, Daniel served in many merchant leadership roles including five years as charter president of the Carrollton Main Street Program. Daniel was nominated by the Carroll County Chamber’s Chairman of the Board Kirby Butler and his GACCE peer Tommy Jennings with the Barrow County Chamber of Commerce. Quotes from their nomination applications include: “He has a passion for community service that comes from a deep commitment of faith, community pride, and sincerest devotion.” “He commits himself to excellence in any endeavor he undertakes, and he strives to be the epitome of a servant leader by doing the lion’s share of work when leading his Chamber team.” “He is recognized by leaders throughout the west Georgia area for his principled, collaborative and forward-thinking style.”
West Georgia Woman Magazine Honored with Georgia Press Association Better Newspaper Contest Magazine Awards West Georgia Woman Magazine received first and second place in the category of “Best Magazine: Original Writing,” and first place in the category of “Best Magazine: Human Interest Feature,” in the Georgia Press Association 2020 Better Newspaper Contest Awards — Magazine Category. Judging was independently carried out by members of the Tennessee Press Association in March. The contest included submissions from 62 newspapers and magazines from across the state of Georgia. There were 550 awards presented in 46 categories to 39 newspapers and magazines. Award winners were announced July 1, 2020. Established in 2015, this was West Georgia Woman Magazine's first year submitting articles for consideration. "This Old Bridge," written by R. Milton Blue, was included in the August 2019 "Man Issue" and won first place for Best Magazine: Original Writing. Judge's notes: "Fell in love with the author's writing style and how he transforms the reader's living room into the location depicted in his story.
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Here he writes about a bridge as if it were a part of his family and just like that ... the reader has an emotional connection with the bridge, too." "A Soldier's Story," written by Angela Dailey, was included in the September 2019 "Suicide Awareness Issue" and won second place for Best Magazine: Original Writing. Judge's notes: "This is the perfect candidate for second place. The author does such a nice job of taking the reader to war and sharing the experience firsthand of what military personnel experience every day. It also is a very informative piece and offers contact information for those needing help. A very well rounded-story overall." "Courtney Waldon – The Fire Within," written by Janet Flanigan, was included in the January 2019 issue and won first place for Best Magazine: Human Interest Feature. Judge's notes: "I was instantly drawn in to this piece and hung on every word. The flow of information was great and made the reading easy." Very special thanks to Copy Editor Shala Spruell Hainer for editing the authors' written work and congratulations to West Georgia Woman Magazine's award winning authors. Read our award winning articles at www.westgeorgiawoman.com.
In 1887, the Georgia Press Association was founded to bring together Georgia newspapers. The goal was to create an organization that would protect, promote, foster and advance the interest of the newspaper industry in Georgia. Today, the Georgia Press Association is still growing, and its members remain among the top business leaders in the state. The membership is guided in its quest by an 18-member board of directors and numerous permanent and special committees. GPA is active in offering educational and networking opportunities for its members in addition to placing advertising through GPA’s affiliate, the Georgia Newspaper Service, and offering scholarships and internships through the Georgia Press Educational Foundation. Learn more about the Georgia Press Association, the Georgia Magazine Association and its Better Newspaper Contest at www.gapress.org.
Carroll EMC Offices Closed for Labor Day In observance of Labor Day, Carroll EMC office lobbies, drive-thrus and call center will be closed Monday, Sept. 7. During this time, make payments at the kiosks, through the automated phone payment system (770-832-3552), online at carrollemc.com or via the free Carroll EMC mobile app. To report a power outage, call 770.832.3552 (Option 1) or report it online or via the mobile app.
Life Without Logan By Destin Lee
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lmost two years ago, my brother, Logan Willis, took his own life. After he passed away, I lost my will to live. I wanted nothing more than to be with him in death. But I have three beautiful children and my husband, Chris, whom he loved so much. I know Logan would want me here with them. My oldest daughter, Leah, asks about Logan all the time. She is 6 years old. I can't explain to her what happened to Logan, all I can say is, "Logan is in heaven." Her behavior has gotten worse since Logan's death. She was so close to him. For a long time after my brother's passing, I believed I could love Logan back to life. That maybe God would realize both he and my brother made a mistake, and he would send Logan back. Maybe he would appear one day when I least expected it, run up, and hug me. I would be so elated that I would forget that he left me. He left me with his pain, depression and the devil on my back. It makes me so mad. Logan was my only friend. Since birth, Logan has been there with me for everything. But he just left me like it was nothing. Sometimes the waves of grief are so massive; other times, they are small ripples that follow me
throughout the day. Some days, I don't care how selfish I may seem, but I cannot go another day without my brother. Sucide is a disease. Logan couldn't fight his demons anymore. I will never love him any less for what he has done to me. Logan will forever be my baby brother, and I will forever love him so much. Logan's death has caused so much pain and hurt for myself and my husband, as they were best friends. We tend to take our hurt and anger out on each other when we have a bad, crying or upset day about Logan. Losing someone you love is hard, but even harder when you know they took their own life, because they felt like no one loved or cared for them. That they had no one – knowing that there was nothing you could do to save them from this disease or the devil on their back telling them to do this. Where was God to protect Logan and tell him not to do this? He was so loved. People say it gets easier. It's been almost two years. I still cry each night. My heart hurts so much when I look at his pictures. I hate events. I look for him, but I know he's not coming. I hate watching my babies cry up to heaven, begging Logan to come
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"A Friend Asks" is a free smart-phone app provided by The Jason Foundation to help provide the information, tools and resources to help a friend (or yourself) who may be struggling with thoughts of suicide. Download on Google Play or the App Store today. down and hug them. I hate it that my husband has nightmares of the day he found Logan. I hate that he is gone when we needed him more. There are constant reminders that Logan is not here. It's not enough to just look at his pictures or remember the memories we had together – I need him. The day Logan died, I lost a big part of myself. My children lost their only uncle – the best uncle. My husband lost his very best friend. Honestly, the day Logan died, I didn't believe it. I was shocked. But Logan, how is it that it has been two years since I have hugged you and heard your voice? I am starting to believe that you really are gone. One thing I have learned since you left, I can't keep beating myself up, telling myself that I didn't help you enough or that I should have been there more for you. Only you know why you couldn't cope any longer. I still love you so much. WGW Publisher's note: Survivors of suicide loss may question whether they can face living without their friend or loved one. Many people who have lost loved ones feel this way at some point. But it is important that you realize this is because of the intense grief you are experiencing. For some people, this may be a fleeting thought; for others, it can turn into hopeless despair that may lead to thoughts of suicide. If this is how it feels for you and you are contemplating suicide, please seek support from your family and friends and a certified mental health
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professional. You do not have to go through this pain alone. There is help available. Studies have shown that 90 percent of all people who die by suicide experience some type of mental illness, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). However, there is hope for those who are suffering because these illnesses are most often treatable with medication and therapy. Suicide is preventable. You do not have to face depression, anxiety or other mental health issues alone. Please ask for help. If you are in crisis, please call the The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at Women’s Auto Clinic. 1.800.273.TALK (8255) or text "TALK" to 741741 Women’s Concierge Service. to text with a trained counselor for free. If you know someone who is 770.832.9465 struggling, read the AFSP suicide warning signs on page 17 and what you can 134 Bankhead Ave., Carrollton do to help on page 22. Always call 9-1-1 in an www.lamberttirecompany.com emergency.
Could Suicide Be Hereditary?
The Effects of Multiple Suicides on A Family
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here is growing evidence that genetic and familial factors contribute to the risk for suicidal behavior. Major psychiatric illnesses, including major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, alcoholism and certain personality disorders that run in families, increase the risk for suicidal behavior, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. This does not mean that people who have a family history are predestined for suicidal behavior. It only means that they may be more vulnerable and
should take steps to lower their risk, such as getting an evaluation and receiving treatment at the first indication of mental illness. Jason Faircloth has lost at least three family members to suicide that spans across multiple generations on his father's side of the family. "There were family members back three or more generations whose death was thought by some to be a suicide," he says. "I am only just now hearing about some of the incidents, most of which have never been discussed with the immediate family
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members who would have been directly affected. How much further back it goes, I don't know. What I do know is that alcoholism and other abuses have reared their ugly heads several times in my extended family’s history." People with substance use disorders are twice as likely to have anxiety and mood disorders, which are associated with increased suicide risk. The opposite is also true. Fifty percent of all people with a mental illness will have a substance use disorder at some time in their lives. Mental illnesses are also linked with accidental overdoses of illicit drugs and medications, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. "My dad was the youngest of five brothers," Jason says. "He lost one of his brothers by suicide, when his brother was a young adult." Jason's uncle's suicide was never a subject that was intimately discussed in the family. He and his cousins grew up knowing about it, but had only heard vague stories from time to time. "It was talked about enough that we knew about it, but not enough that we knew what to do with it," he says. "That, I think is the key. It's important when you introduce a topic like that to be sure that you adequately put it to bed in the right context with the right explanation. That's sort of when I think that concept entered into my family. When that happens
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in a family or friend group, or in a community it can, quite literally, spread. And other people who are close to that story can unfortunately see that as a path for themselves. But that is not an option that needs to be considered in any case." Besides an uncle, Jason has also lost two of his first cousins to suicide. One cousin was the older of two siblings. After graduating high school, he had a bright and promising future ahead of him. He left home and went to college in Athens, but struggled to stay focused academically. "Things just didn't seem to fall his way," Jason says. "He had a lot of challenges. He was ultimately working, living up in Athens and seeing all of his friends continue on in their academic career while he battled with a job and paying bills." Jason's cousin, in an attempt to get his life back on track, decided to leave Athens and enrolled himself in college in his hometown. He had a girlfriend who had come to help him pack for the move. "It was sort of an odd sequence of events the night that he passed," Jason explains. "She was going to go home and he didn't want her to go. He was still packing his things and had to stay for some time. In sort of a fit of sadness, depression and in some way, maybe, to kind of lash out at her, he ended up taking his own life in Athens. He died by suicide on his 21st birthday."
After his cousin passed away, Jason's entire family rallied around his aunt, uncle and his other cousin. "It was certainly a topic that was well addressed then," he says. "Once it was out on the table, there was a lot of conversation about how tragic suicide is, what we should do to avoid that and how we should all lean on and support one another. We went back to our lives, but we always remembered and celebrated my cousin at different family functions and things like that." Jason's cousin was very affected by her brother's death. "She went on to follow a similar path, but she never left her hometown," he says. "At 21 years of age, that story just seemed to unfold again." She was in a relationship that was not working, and she had decided to move back home with her parents. On Mother's Day, her mom came over to help her pack. Sadly, Jason's aunt discovered her daughter had died by suicide. "They had two children and both of them died by suicide," he relates. "Having her funeral was just the worst experience ever. Seeing my aunt and uncle there, just totally empty, with both of their children now passed and being buried there at their home church graveyard was just awful." Jason's family, like most survivors of suicide loss, experienced an immediate reaction of guilt. "You always second guess and question," he says. "What didn't we do? What didn't we say? Should we have called more? There are so many things we could have done differently. We should have focused on being together as a family more and making deeper connections. We all just kind of felt like maybe we had failed them." In the years since his cousins' tragic deaths, Jason finds uncertainty in how to relate or connect with his aunt and uncle. "They live a somewhat solitary life now. I've taken my kids to go visit with them, and all I can think is that they're probably thinking, 'We don't have grandkids. Our kids aren't bringing their kids by to visit.' You don't know if you're hurting or helping." Jason and his wife, Lindsey, have four sons together. As parents, they are always on high alert when it comes to portrayals of suicide on TV, in movies and in the media. "We're obviously guiding them in a number of areas," he explains. "But when I hear what might seem like a flippant comment about suicide, I just really have to hold it together to not come over the top too strongly at their age to try to impress upon them that it is just a very serious topic. I think it's absolutely critical to shine a light on suicide. It's relatively new that you talk about it with openness and transparency. Older generations would have avoided those types of conversations
altogether and called it something else. I hope that it's effective now that we're willing to talk about it." In the future, genetic research might shine a light on suicide prevention, but as of now, there are no proven genomics tests that are ready for practice. The best strategy for suicide prevention today includes, knowing the risk factors, recognizing the warning signs, protective factors, decreasing the stigma of mental illness and getting immediate help when needed, according to the CDC. Suicide is very complex, and is the result of many factors, not a single event. And if someone has a family history of both psychiatric illness and suicide, that does not mean suicide is inevitable. "Having a family history, like exposure to any other risk factors, indicates that a person is at an increased risk in comparison to people without those exposures," says Ping Qin, M.D., Ph.D. "It cannot predict if the person is destined to attempt or complete suicide." "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," Jason says. "All these cases in my family – those are all things that we can change or impact if we are still living. Whatever the source of the hurt that you're dealing with – talk about it, get it out there, talk to someone who's been through it. Having someone with whom you can share that pain, having them validate that pain and encouraging you that there is another side to it. There will be a day when it won't hurt as much if you'll stay with us." WGW
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Kids Korner
By Charlene Brooks Photos by Zachary Dailey
I Love You to Pieces Picture Frame
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randparents Day is Sept. 13. Show your grandma and grandpa some love with these adorable picture frame and praise magnets. You can use craft paint for the picture frame or spray paint for a quicker job. Always supervise young children when using spray paint. Materials Mini-puzzle found at local dollar store 8 to 10 craft sticks depending on the size you want Red craft or spray paint White craft or spray paint Pipestem for hanging (or you can use a magnet) Glue Picture of child Heart stickers
Instructions Paint the craft sticks white. Paint about 20 to 25 puzzle pieces red. Allow to dry. Once dry, glue the craft sticks together horizontally. Allow to dry. Glue the puzzle pieces to the front of the craft sticks in the shape of a heart. Glue the picture to the middle of the heart. Take the pipestem and bend it into a loop for hanging. Apply heart stickers in the four corners. Glue both ends of the pipestem to the back of the photo frame.
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Grandparents Day Praise Magnets Materials 7 craft sticks Colored markers Black marker Glue Magnet Instructions Color the craft sticks with the markers. Write what you love about your grandma and grandpa. Glue the sticks together horizontally. Glue the magnet to the back of the sign. Place on grandparents' refrigerator. WGW
Dailey Life Photography 404.444.9072
www.daileylifephoto.wordpress.com
@DaileyLifePhoto @DaileyLifePhotography
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Happy Grandparents Day Word Search Word Bank
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Family Heritage Love Special Nana Wisdom Tender Grandpa Patience Memories Papa Heart Adored Favorite Grandma Beloved Caregiver Ancestor Compassion Hugs
Word search created at puzzle-maker.com
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