West Georgia Woman Magazine August 2018

Complimentary

August 2018

West Georgia TM

Celebrating

MEN Featuring:

Ash Edwards • Bryant Hightower Tim Martin • Patrick Yuran Tim Martin, President and CEO of Carroll EMC, is community driven.

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Did you know that in West Georgia the leading cause of death for women is Heart Disease?

Medical conditions such as diabetes, having a poor diet, being inactive, smoking and being overweight all play a role in putting you at higher risk for Heart Disease.

We recommend that you establish a relationship with a physician while you are young and able to make a difference in your health.

Get Well. Stay Well.

Primary Care • 770.834.3351 Professional Park Building Lung and Sleep • 770.838.5864 100 Professional Place • Suite 204 Rheumatology • 770.834.3351 Carrollton, Ga. 30117

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www.pcgofwestga.com

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” West Georgia Woman magazine

focuses on a segment of our community that is very vital to our company. Women represent a large number of advisors and a significant number of our clients.”

Photo by Keith May

Fred O'Neal, AAMS® Financial Advisor Edward Jones® Carrollton, Ga. Member SIPC

What’s inside...

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The Burden Of Man

46

Managing Your Health

12

Ash Edwards, Lambert Tire Company

50

Mentality

18

Bryant Hightower, Hightower Family Funeral Homes

51

Local Happenings

24

Tim Martin, Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative

54

Crunching The Numbers

56

Boys Don't Cry!

28

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34 38

Patrick Yuran, Oak Mountain Academy

Daily Fare

Living Lessons Learned

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Kidz Korner

Sports Injuries?

We've Got Him Covered.

Scoliosis • Sports Injuries • Weightlifting Injuries Ear Infections • Pediatric Training Through ICPA Chiropractic BioPhysics (CBP) technique is one of the most scientifically validated techniques in chiropractic.

770.832.1640

775 S. Park Street, Suite 102 • Carrollton

www.integrativebodyhealth.com

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Lily Noland Parents — Heather and Stephen Noland

SATURDAY

AUGUST

25

2018

9 a.m. to noon Tanner Medical Center/Carrollton 705 Dixie Street

Expecting? Thinking about starting — or growing — your family? See what west Georgia and east Alabama have to offer at Tanner’s Hey, Baby! Mom and Baby Fair. Meet local obstetrics, neonatal and pediatrics specialists, collect giveaways and baby-approved door prizes from local merchants, tour the Maternity Center — featuring a new NICU opening this fall — and participate in physician-led educational sessions to help you learn more about what our region has to offer our moms-to-be.

Bring your partner or grab a friend. Free parking available in the Dixie Street Parking Deck adjacent to the hospital.

To 6 learn more or to register, visit tanner.org/heybaby or call 770.214.CARE (2273).

Tristan Alexander Brooks May 15, 1993 – September 17, 2015 Tristan, left, with his dad William. Photo by Nathan Brooks.

T

ristan, his brother, Nathan, and I went camping at Black Rock Mountain State Park in Mountain City, Ga., in March, 2012. It had been some months since I had seen Tristan – I think he had been working in Alabama and had just recently come back to Georgia. I was going to move to Houston, Texas, in the summer, so I wanted to do something special with the boys before I went.

Tristan was having some relationship troubles at the time, and his first son, Coen, was due in April.

Tristan was experiencing some depression at the prospect of not being able to be there for the birth of his son, so, in addition to spending time with the boys, I wanted Tristan to have some fun, get

his mind off of his situation and have a brief respite from it all.

We pitched a tent at a campsite on the side of the mountain, set up camp and had a nice fire in the fire-ring. We listened to music and danced around the fire. He had a good time, laughing, having fun and he forgot all his troubles for the moment. This picture was at the height of the revelry.

The next day Tris became melancholy again. I felt bad not being able to help him with his relationship situation, but knew there was nothing I could do about it. We hiked the mountain trails and talked, and we were able to spend some good quality time together. That trip was one I'll never forget. – William Brooks

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A Few Good Men I always look forward to publishing our "Man Issue," because it is the one time of year we are able to celebrate the fabulous men who help make West Georgia Woman magazine possible every month. It's also a great way to give our valued male partners a voice through their editorial contributions.

This issue is our way of saying "thank you" for partnering with us and supporting our vision to recognize the remarkable achievements of amazing women in West Georgia. It's always nice to mix things up a bit, and the "Man Issue" usually creates quite a stir!

In This Issue This year, we feature Mr. Ash Edwards with Carrollton's oldest tire shop, Lambert Tire Company. When Ash came on board to help his brother, Mark, with the business last year, he had a vision to create a warm and safe environment for all women who entered their establishment. He has since remodeled the business with the female consumer in mind. Read about Ash and his dedication to empowering women on page 12.

Mr. Bryant Hightower, funeral director with Hightower Family Funeral Homes, has been faithfully and compassionately serving West Georgia for 40 years and, this year, the Hightower Family is celebrating their 90th anniversary in business! Read about Bryant and his family's service to the community that spans four generations on page 18.

Mr. Tim Martin, president and CEO of Carroll EMC, believes serving others is the key to happiness, and he is passionate about helping the electric cooperative's Members thrive. Read more about Tim and Carroll EMC's commitment to provide safe, reliable power and service at the best value on page 24.

Last but not least, we welcome Mr. Patrick Yuran, the new Headmaster of Oak Mountain Academy. Patrick grew up in Carrollton, Ga., and he's brought 22 years of experience in education back home with him to OMA. Read more about Patrick and his commitment to serving the children in his care on page 28.

On page 38, my friend and mentor, Dr. Fred Richards, shares some of the lessons he has learned for those who may be experiencing difficulty navigating their way through the various challenges of life.

Do you have a long term chronic health condition such as diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol? Hermogenes Pagsisihan, M.D., or Dr. Pag as he's fondly called by his patients, with Physicians Care Group of West Georgia explores the many ways you can take charge of your own healthcare so you and your physician can help you feel your very best. Read more about how to take an active role in managing your health on page 46.

My friend, Mark Foster, executive manager at Walker Cadillac, Buick, GMC recently received the prestigious 40 under 40 retail recognition from Automotive News. Read more about Mark, his exceptional accomplishments and his steadfast commitment to continuing Walker's legacy of excellence on page 49.

Are you concerned about how the new 2018 tax laws may affect you? Master Accountant, Kevin Phillips, shares the most common questions he's received from his clients on page 54.

I want to thank the many men who help make our publication a success: Kin Brooks, magazine distributor; Mark Steffey, photographer; Gil Royal, editorial contributor; Dr. Fred Richards, advocate, coach and editorial contributor; Jason Studdards, our printer's sales executive; and last but not least, the handsome young man in the photo to the right: My son, Zachary Dailey, advertising sales executive.

I also want to extend my sincere gratitude to all of our valued advertising partners – men and women. Without you, West Georgia Woman magazine would not be possible. Through your partnership with this publication, you have impacted the lives of so many women throughout West Georgia. Thank you.

See you next month!

Publisher

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Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference.

TM

West Georgia Woman is a voice for and about the women who live and work in West Georgia.

Our mission is to engage, inspire, and cultivate a cohesive community for all women in West Georgia by sharing our hopes, our dreams and our lives.

This magazine would not be possible without the inclusion of our advertisers. Please be sure to show your support by doing business with these VIP’s (very important partners) so we will be able to continue to share with you our stories about amazing West Georgia women!

Please be sure to tell them we sent you!

Inspiring women wanted.

We welcome your comments and suggestions.

Contact us: Angela@westgeorgiawoman.com (404) 502-0251

Woman

Mail correspondence to: West Georgia Woman P.O. Box 2782 Carrollton, GA 30112

TM

Volume 3 • Issue 10 August 2018

Online: www.westgeorgiawoman.com Follow us!

@WestGaWoman @WestGAWoman

Do you know an interesting woman who should be on the cover of West @WestGaWoman Georgia Woman? Is there a special Need a copy? project or organization you would like us to feature in our magazine?

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Wiggly in Bowdon, at CVS in Bowdon We welcome your local event and and Piggly Wiggly in Tallapoosa and our wedding photos. racks at WM Grocery in Roanoke and Wedowee, Al., as well as hundreds of Email your photos (300 dpi) to: other retail locations and medical offices photos@westgeorgiawoman.com The views, opinions, positions or strat- in West Georgia and East Alabama! egies expressed by the contributing authors are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, positions or strategies of Angel Media, LLC., West Georgia Woman magazine or any employee thereof. Angel Media, LLC. makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, correctness, suitability, or validity of any information in this publication and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use.

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West Georgia Woman is a monthly publication of Angel Media, LLC. All contents of this issue are copyright 2018. West Georgia Woman magazine, its logo and “Finding our voice.

Knowing our value. Making a difference.” are trademarks of Angel Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is strictly prohibited.

Publisher/Editor

Angela Dailey angela@westgeorgiawoman.com

Copy Editor Editorial Contributor

Shala Hainer shala@westgeorgiawoman.com

Photographer for cover Mark Steffey

Editorial Contributors

Charlene Brooks, William Brooks, Rose Isaacs, Hermogenes Pagsisihan, M.D., Kevin Phillips, EA, MAcc and Fred Richards-Daishi, Ph.D.

Advertising Sales

Zachary Dailey Zachary@westgeorgiawoman.com Angela Brooks Dailey, owner and publisher of West Georgia Woman magazine, has lived in West Georgia most of her life and has a deep love and appreciation for the area.

She received her B.B.A in management from The University of West Georgia in Carrollton, Ga., and is a Civil and Domestic Relations mediator and arbitrator registered with the Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution. She lives in Carrollton, and has two wonderful children, Zachary and Sydney Dailey.

Angela enjoys reading, spending time with her children and extended family and loves to watch Sydney play soccer.

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By Angela Dailey

B

ecause I am the owner and publisher of a magazine for women, people have asked me – believe it or not – if I am a feminist and if I hate men. The answers to these questions are: Yes, I am a feminist in the sense that I believe women deserve to be treated equally in the home and in the workplace and, no, of course I don't hate men. As the mother of a 24-year-old man, how could I hate men? The truth is, I value men and their significant contributions to society.

Historically, it is true that women have been exploited by men throughout the centuries, and there are some issues such as the equal pay disparity, sexual harassment and domestic abuse that still need to be eliminated, but the evolution over the last 25 years of how women are viewed at home and in the workplace has certainly been a welcome change for girls and women.

I believe in today's world more women than ever are feeling empowered and respected in society.

But, what about our boys?

In 1999, journalist, Allison Pearson, wrote, "The sun is setting on sons these days. Girls are hot, girls are desirable, girls are the future. Holy mother, girls are the new boys," according to Jenni Murray, in her article "10 Myths About Boys."

Boys' issues are troubling and often overlooked in society, particularly boys' educational needs. "The culture of schools, especially for young children, is much more feminine than masculine," says Joseph Tobin, Ph.D., professor of early childhood education at Arizona State University. "There are almost no male early childhood educators. Many teachers of young children find boys' interests in violence, gross things, and bodily functions to be boring or stupid.

We need to recognize that many of us have 'internal prejudices' against these interests. Just as we used to ask ourselves in the '70s, 'In what ways am I being sexist in my treatment of girls?' we now have to ask, 'In what ways are we disapproving of boys' interests in our classrooms?'"

When is the last time you've heard about men's problems? Men's health? What about men's mental health issues? Not often, yet men die by suicide 3.53 times more often than women and the rate of suicide is highest in middle aged men age 47-54, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. However, if you believe the mainstream media today men don't have any problems; in fact, they are the problem.

With the #MeToo movement – an international movement where women and some men are speaking out against sexual harassment and

assault – men are being even more vilified in the media than ever before. Allow me to be clear on this subject: I am in no way condoning any of the behaviors or actions of any of the men who are proven abusers that have been outed during this movement, and I'm a firm believer that women have the intrinsic right to feel safe at work, in public and in their relationships.

As a woman who formerly worked in retail and then in the corporate world, I experienced sexual harassment in the workplace in numerous forms throughout my career – from supervisors, coworkers and clients.

The harassment didn't end at my workplace, either. I have experienced public harassment during visits to the grocery store, restaurants, shopping malls and convenience stores.

What did I do to deserve this unwanted attention throughout my life? My crime was simply being born a woman, and I'm pretty sure a large percentage of the women reading this have their own stories to tell.

But, just because I have had some bad experiences with some men doesn't mean that I should write off all men as mysoginistic, irredeemable and incapable, and in spite of the despicable Harvey Weinsteins of the world, there are many men I deeply respect and some I dearly love.

There are honest, decent, kind and caring men right here in West Georgia who encourage and empower women in their endeavors, those who have mothers, sisters, daughters and female friends they care about and respect.

There are so many good men in this community who have partnered with a magazine that is designed specifically for women. Men who recognize the impact women have on their communities, in their families, in their jobs, their places of worship and in the vast majority of purchasing decisions.

70 percent of our initial charter advertisers for our publication were men. If they had not believed in me and my vision, West Georgia Woman magazine would never have become a reality. These men have positively impacted my life and the lives of many women – from those we have featured to our readers – and I cannot thank them enough.

It's time for us to stand up for the good men.

The ones who are our champions in our careers, our businesses and our communities. They deserve our respect, our compassion and our acceptance. These men deserve a voice, too. WGW

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L

Ash Edwards

ambert Tire Company is Carrollton's oldest tire store. Located on Bankhead Hwy., the store has been family owned and operated since 1961 when Bill Lambert, the original owner, opened the

Photos by Mark Steffey

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business. Two brothers – Mark and Ash Edwards are continuing the legacy their Dad, Jack Edwards, began after he purchased the business in 1981.

Mark, the store's owner, has been directly involved with Lambert Tire Company since before he could drive. "Dad bought the business from Bill after retiring from the corporate world," he says.

"He would bring me up here on Saturday mornings to work. It is all I have ever done."

Mark's brother, Ash, has a background in the language services industry that includes translation, interpretation, test development and voiceovers – much of that time spent working in Japan.

After their father passed away late last summer, Ash began to help Mark with the family business.

Ash lives with his wife in Bremen, and their daughter – who recently graduated university – lives in Tokyo.

In the short time Ash has been directly involved in the business, he has made some positive and favorable changes at Lambert Tire.

He has recently remodeled the business tailoring it specifically to the female consumer. "Women now purchase 65 percent of tires sold, and the Millennial woman is the future of the industry," he relates.

Lambert Tire Company has been redesigned with the female consumer in mind.

Photo by Tim McClain

During the refurbishing, Ash kept his vision of a "female-friendly" establishment top of mind. When a woman walks into Lambert Tire Company today, she is met with an environment akin to a coffee shop – complete with gorgeous wooden bars, vintage metal seating and beautiful lighting that includes a lit sign with Lambert's vintage logo Ash created last year. And the pièce de résistance? A coffee bar stocked with delicious Jittery Joe's coffee.

It is important to Ash and Mark that women feel welcomed and accepted in an environment that women may sometimes perceive as intimidating and frightening. Lambert Tire has recently implemented a free Saturday Ladies' Auto Clinic designed to teach women what they need to know about how their vehicles work and how they can keep their cars running smoothly. The clinic focuses on general vehicle maintenance and emergencies such as checking the air pressure in tires, adding coolant, how to jump-start a car and changing the air filter.

The clinic also helps women learn things to look for when purchasing a vehicle.

All of these services are offered in a warm, friendly environment where there are no dumb questions or embarrassment due to lack of knowledge – Lambert Tire's goal is simply empowering women to take charge of their vehicle maintenance and repairs by

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“I am trying to create a business I would feel comfortable with my daughter visiting.” teaching them what they can do themselves, and what needs to be handled by a mechanic.

For added convenience, Lambert Tire also offers a concierge service for women. They will pick up your vehicle, bring it back to the shop for repairs or maintenance and return it afterward. From purchasing tires and tire rotation to oil changes, front end alignments, brake work and roadside assistance, Lambert Tire Company's services are vast and address a variety of issues.

You can also be assured that you will be provided reliable and honest work at a fair price, and you will never be taken advantage of, overcharged or offered a service or repair that isn't necessary.

Lambert Tire serves all of Carrollton, Villa Rica, Bowdon, Bremen, Whitesburg and the surrounding areas. Their business hours are Monday through Thursday from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and Fridays from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. To participate in one of their free Ladies' Auto Clinics, email lamberttireco@gmail. com or call 770.832.9465.

WGW: What is it about your business that makes it different?

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AE: We don’t tell customers that it is important to support local independent business because it generates 70 percent more local activity per square foot than big-box retail. We don’t go up to every customer and spew out local business facts like, 'Hey, for every dollar you spend it puts 30 percent more back into a local economy. It helps my employees live locally. Those dollars are spent and recycled within the area.' But, those are inspiring facts that everyone should be aware of.

Millennials get a lot of flack for this obsession with local this and local that. It’s easy to make fun of, but a lot of people don’t realize the actual benefits of it.

A town without distinctive independent local businesses is no town at all, but sadly, that seems to be the way of it these days in most of America.

As I planned for the renovation of the store as well as the branding, I kept this in mind, as well as now there are more women drivers than men, so of course there are more women than ever making automotive-related purchasing decisions.

It takes a combination of creativity, community and old school know-how for an independent local business to stay relevant, and it also takes the half of

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Gold Rush Festival Southeast Tourism Society selects Villa Rica Gold Rush as an ‘STS Top 20 Event’ for September 2018!

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the U.S. population that is female.

WGW: As an advertiser, what was it about West Georgia Woman that drew you to it?

AE: We wanted to promote our Women’s Auto Clinics and our Women’s Concierge Service to a demographic of women we thought would value these services.

WGW: If you could provide one message to the readers of West Georgia Woman magazine, what would it be?

AE: There is no reason for women to feel powerless, nervous or ashamed when taking your cars for tires or repairs.

WGW: What is your favorite thing about living or working in West Georgia?

AE: For me, it’s the symbiotic relationship. We can’t be who we are without the community. It’s part of our identity. If we lose our identity, then we lose everything, and we might as well just roll over and wait for a big-box store to come and swallow us whole.

It’s what helps Lambert Tire Company stand above the competition, but more importantly above bland and sterile big-box corporate locations that

Women’s Auto Clinic.

Women’s Concierge Service. www.lamberttireco.com • 770.832.9465 134 Bankhead Ave. • Carrollton

focus on up-selling their customers products and services they may not need.

WGW: What significant woman in your life has had the most impact on you and how/why?

AE: Definitely my daughter: I am trying to create a business I would feel comfortable with her visiting.

WGW: Can you tell us something about yourself that would surprise our readers? Something most people wouldn't know about you?

AE: I spent the best part of a year in Australia doing nothing but going to the most beautiful beaches in the world everyday and I got so bored with it I started going to the library. WGW

"There is no reason for women to feel powerless, nervous or ashamed when taking your cars for tires or repairs."

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” When I consider the best use of

advertising dollars, I consider how well the publication will enhance the message I am presenting with my advertising.

West Georgia Woman compliments and enhances – and puts my message in front of a large percentage of decision-makers.”

Mark Foster Executive Manager Walker Cadillac, Buick, GMC Carrollton, Ga.

West Georgia Men Value Community Partners.

Advertise Today and

GET NOTICED.

Woman ZACHARY@WESTGEORGIAWOMAN.COM

West Georgia

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Magazine17

Bryant Hightower, Funeral Director C ompassionate, generous, kind; and community servant. These words and more have often been used to describe Bryant Hightower, third generation funeral director of Hightower Family Funeral Homes.

Bryant, his father, Richard, and Bryant's brother, Bill, are continuing the legacy created

by Bryant's grandfather and grandmother that began 90 years ago in West Georgia.

Bryant was born and raised in Bremen, Ga., and his career in funeral service began at a young age. He grew up around the funeral home and says he spent many afternoons and weekends

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there washing cars and helping his father and grandparents however he could. He graduated from Bremen High School in 1976 and began attending mortuary school, graduating in 1978. After graduating, he completed a two-year apprenticeship and became a licensed funeral director in 1980.

He jokes that he moved a whole 12 miles down the road to Carrollton, Ga. in 1984. He married his wife, Cathy, in 1986.

Cathy and Bryant raised their three daughters, Cason, Karlie and MacKenzie in Carrollton, and love to spend time with the girls.

Their two youngest

Bryant and his beautiful family from left to right: Daughter, Cason; Wife, Cathy; Daughter, Karlie; Bryant; and daughter, MacKenzie.

daughters – twins, Karlie and MacKenzie, are currently home for the summer with Bryant and Cathy until they begin law school and graduate school in the fall. "When all our girls are home we have six dogs at our house," he laughs. "My wife is quick to remind me that none of the dogs are ours – they are the grand-dogs!"

When they aren't spending time with their daughters, Bryant and Cathy enjoy good food and traveling together.

Along with offering comprehensive funeral services for the communities throughout West Georgia, Hightower Family Funeral Homes also offers a special service for women: each of their locations in Carrollton, Bremen and Douglasville offer a “Circle of Friends” support group for women who have experienced the loss of a spouse. The organization meets once a month for a covered dish meal provided by all of the women in the group, and they enjoy a special program with topics relative to the ladies' interests.

“Circle of Friends” also organizes special bus travel excursions for its members. The Hightower family provides tour buses, drivers and the driver gratuities, with the ladies being responsible for their own hotel and meal charges.

The members of "Circle of Friends" volunteer their time and talents to give birthday parties for residents of local retirement and assisted living facilities. Each month, Bryant pays for birthday cake, ice cream, drinks and popcorn for the residents' birthday parties at six different locations.

One year ago, the Hightower Family began providing grief therapy services to the community through their certified therapy dog, Ruby. Ruby travels to all three of the Hightower locations to help those grieving the loss of a loved one, and she often travels with Bryant or Cason to local schools, retirement and assisted living facilities.

For more information about "Circle of Friends," Ruby or other services provided by the Hightower Family Funeral Homes, visit their website at www.hightowerfamilyfuneralhomes.com or call 770.836.1466.

WGW: What is it about your business that makes it different? How long have you been in business?

BH: Our family owned firm, Hightower Family Funeral Homes, has been serving the West Georgia area for 90 years – we were founded in 1928. We now include our fourth generation, my daughter,

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The men of Hightower Family Funeral Homes from left to right: Third generation Funeral Director, Bill Hightower, second generation Funeral Director, Richard Hightower and third generation Funeral Director, Bryant Hightower. Bryant's daughter, Cason Hightower, is currently in mortuary school and is Hightower Family Funeral Homes' fourth generation serving the West Georgia community.

Cason. I think that is what makes us different. Not many businesses can say they have been blessed to serve their community for 90 years and span four generations.

a community that is fortunate to have outstanding school systems, access to wonderful healthcare, growing business opportunities and in return, a great quality of life.

WGW: As an advertiser, what was it about West Georgia Woman that drew you to it?

WGW: What is your favorite thing about living or working in West Georgia?

BH: As the father of three daughters, I know and appreciate the value of women in our community, businesses and homes. West Georgia Woman magazine is a great community resource for women, and we couldn’t pass up being a part of such an awesome publication.

BH: I am proud that I could raise my family in the same area that I grew up. West Georgia still has the feel of a small town, but we are growing!

With growth comes diversity, and with diversity, there are new ideas. Those ideas strengthen our community and give us advantages. I am thankful that we live in an area with a wonderful university and technical college system. We should be excited about the ideas and passions coming from students in the University of West Georgia and West Georgia Technical College. We need to support those students so that in return, they will support our community.

WGW: If you could provide one message to the readers of West Georgia Woman magazine, what would it be?

BH: I want the readers to know how lucky we are to live in a community like West Georgia. We are

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WGW: Your business doesn't cater just to women.

Why is it important to you to reach out to women through this magazine?

BH: When I sit down with a family at the funeral home, the woman is often the decision maker surrounding a loss. She is the one honed into the details and understands the importance of celebrating and honoring a life that was lived.

I want to make sure that those women know that we are there for them, that they see us as a part of their community and know that we are honored to serve them.

WGW: What significant woman in your life has had the most impact on you and how/why?

BH: My mother, Jacquelyn Pope Hightower, was one of the most significant women in my life, even though I lost her at a very early age. My momma taught me the meaning of respect and the feeling of unconditional love.

While she is not here to see the fruits of her labor, she had an enormous impact on me during my formative years.

SERVING THE WEST GEORGIA COMMUNITY FOR 90 YEARS Bremen • Carrollton • Douglasville 770.537.2375 • 770.836.1466 • 770.489.2818

www.hightowerfamilyfuneralhomes.com 22

WGW: Can you share a funny story you've encountered in your career?

BH: Many years ago, we were in a procession to a cemetery in a neighboring county when our law enforcement escort got lost. We had to turn the funeral procession around in the middle of the highway.

While I didn’t find it funny at the time, the family and I reminisced about it some years later and were able to laugh about it.

WGW: Can you share a heartwarming story you’ve encountered in your career?

BH: Several years ago, we buried a gentleman who had a grandson. Due to divorce in the family, the grandson had never been able to meet his grandfather. The grandson was able to travel from out of state for the visitation and funeral. We were able to let this grandson see his grandfather for the first and last time. This experience brought into perspective the meaning of what we do and the ritual behind caring for our dead.

WGW: Can you tell us something about yourself that would surprise our readers? Something most

people wouldn't know about you?

BH: I enjoy live music! Two of my favorite events are New Orleans Jazz Fest and the Juke Joint Crawl in Clarksdale, Miss.

WGW: Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself with our readers?

"As the father of three daughters, I know and appreciate the value of women in our community, businesses and homes."

BH: I feel extremely blessed to have served the families of West Georgia for over 40 years. The friendships that I have developed through serving families are some of the most meaningful relationships in my life.

I look forward to continuing to serve the families of West Georgia for many years to come. WGW

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L i fe . Star ts . He re .

23

“Tim Martin, President/Chief Executive Officer

I

f you want happiness for an hour; take a nap. If you want happiness for a day; go fishing. If you want happiness for a month; get married. If you want happiness for a year; inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime; help someone else.”

It's not surprising this Chinese proverb is one of Tim Martin's favorite quotes. As president and CEO of Carroll EMC, Tim genuinely exemplifies service above self every day, and this authentic, humble and intelligent West Georgia native has spent a lifetime serving others.

Tim's father grew up in Sandhill in Carroll County, Ga., and his mother grew up in Tallapoosa, Ga. His parents were small business owners – they retired last year after over 40 years in business – and Tim learned much about customer service through his parents' example. They raised Tim in Winston, Ga.,

24

until his junior year in high school when they moved to Sandhill, where his parents still reside today.

After graduating from Douglas County High School, Tim attended the Georgia Institute of Technology. He was hired by Carroll EMC as a co-op student and worked there eight quarters, then parttime until he graduated in 1992 with an industrial engineering degree.

Tim fondly recalls meeting his wife, Shelley, at Carroll EMC – she was a co-op student in the accounting department when he was a co-op student in the engineering department. After graduating from the University of West Georgia, Shelley went to work for SEDC – a utility software company in Atlanta – and she continues to work for them today.

After graduating from Georgia Tech, Tim worked

Photos by Mark Steffey

“We live in and love the communities we serve. This helps us stay focused on meeting and exceeding our Members' expectations. It also helps us think long term.

We want our communities to thrive today and tomorrow.� in manufacturing for seven years before returning to Carroll EMC as the manager of system engineering in 1999. Tim grew with the company and became Carroll EMC's chief operating officer (COO).

In 2011, Tim left Carroll EMC to work for one of the largest electric cooperatives in the country.

He worked for the company for four years in Fredericksburg, Va. "I call this my study abroad program," he laughs. In January 2015, he was given the opportunity to come back home to Carrollton to serve as Carroll EMC's president and chief executive officer.

Except for his four years "studying abroad" in Virginia, Tim and Shelley have lived in Carrollton since 1997. Their son, Avery, is a junior at Virginia Tech studying mining engineering. Tim says Avery is also a co-op student currently working (ironically) at Avery Island, La., in a salt mine for Cargill, an international company that serves as a partner for food, agriculture, financial and industrial customers.

Their daughter, Marianna, just graduated from Carrollton High School and is headed to the University of Georgia in the fall to study accounting and international business.

Tim and Shelley are active members of First Baptist Church in Carrollton. "My Christian faith is very important to me," he shares. Tim loves baseball and is a big fan of the Atlanta Braves – he goes to five or six of their games every year. He enjoys

traveling, walking with Shelley and attempting to play golf, but he says his favorite thing to do is spend time with his family.

25

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WGW: As an advertiser, what was it about West Georgia Woman that drew you to it?

TM: We know that at least half of our Members are women, and West Georgia Woman magazine allows us to reach this important group with a beautiful, professional publication targeted to them.

We also like the tie-in to social media which is another important communication channel for us.

WGW: If you could provide one message to the readers of West Georgia Woman magazine, what would it be?

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www.klphillips-ea.com WGW: Tell us about your business – what is your mission, your business model or how do you help/what service do you provide to West Georgia consumers? What is it about your business that makes it different? How long have you been in business?

TM: Carroll EMC is an electric cooperative. Our purpose is to provide safe, reliable power and service at the best value.

Our greater purpose is to improve the lives of those we serve, and we’ve been doing that since we were founded in 1936.

There are several things that differentiate us from other businesses. As a cooperative, we are owned by those we serve – our Members. Business decisions are made locally by local people. We live in and love the communities we serve. This helps us stay focused on meeting and exceeding our Members’ expectations. It also helps us think long term. We want our communities to thrive today and tomorrow.

Also, as a cooperative, we are a not-for-profit.

Excess revenue is returned each year to our Members, and $21.4 million has been returned over the past 10 years.

26

TM: I believe that serving others is the key to happiness. There is something about helping others that brings joy and fulfillment in life. By the way, I love quotes, and here are some quotes related to this: “For it is in giving that we receive” – St. Francis of Assisi, and “The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” – Albert Schweitzer WGW: What is your favorite thing about living or working in West Georgia?

TM: I love the people. West Georgia people are friendly, hard-working, patriotic, giving and community minded. We care about each other and help each other in our times of need. Also, I’m fortunate to have the best West Georgia employees working at Carroll EMC! WGW: Your business doesn't cater just to women.

Why is it important to you to reach out to women through this magazine?

TM: Women are leaders in our community and in local businesses, small business owners and key decision-makers in the home. We want to be sure to communicate with women and stay in touch with them where they are receiving their communications.

WGW: What significant woman in your life has had the most impact on you and how/why?

TM: My wife, Shelley, is the most significant woman in my life. You know how they say behind every successful man is a woman – and a surprised

mother-in-law. This is certainly true for me – at least the first part. My wife and I are a team. My success is her success and her success is mine. She is my confidant, my sounding board, my biggest cheerleader and my most honest critic.

Every day we take a walk together through the neighborhood, on the Greenbelt or on some interesting new path, and tell each other about the day we’ve had and discuss upcoming plans. She is my best friend, and I’m so grateful for her.

WGW: Can you share a funny story you've encountered in your career?

TM: While working as a co-op student at Carroll EMC, I was given a nickname, "Opie," for which I was thankful, believe it or not. Having a nickname meant that things were going well and I was accepted into the CEMC family.

When I returned to Carroll EMC as the CEO, a retired construction manager told me that his wife told him he couldn’t call me "Opie" anymore because of my new position, so he was going to refer to me as "Mr. Opie."

WGW: Can you share a heartwarming story?

TM: I’m very proud of our student worker program at Carroll EMC, and not just because my wife and I were student workers. Over the years, we’ve had many students work at Carroll EMC and go on to work at Carroll EMC or in our industry.

We’ve also had many students work and gain valuable experience and skills which helped them find other rewarding opportunities. Sixteen of our fulltime employees started out as student workers, and we have 13 students currently working in our student worker program.

WGW: Can you tell us something about yourself that would surprise our readers? Something most people wouldn't know about you?

TM: As I stated earlier, I am a big baseball fan.

For my 40th birthday, my wife surprised me with two tickets to see the Chicago Cubs play at historic Wrigley Field. My son and I went to the game and had a great time at the game and touring Chicago.

Thus began my personal goal of seeing a game in all 30 professional baseball parks. So far, I have been to 13 ballparks, with the latest being Rogers Centre in Toronto, which I attended earlier this year with my daughter. WGW

"Women are leaders in our community and in local businesses, small business owners and key decision-makers in the home."

27

An Independent PreK-3 through 12th Grade College -Preparatory School

F

What Headmaster MORE are you looking for?

Patrick Yuran, Mentor relationships

or as long as he can remember, Patrick Yuran has always felt the need to serve others. As a result of this desire to serve, he says he has traveled and lived around the world for many years experiencing

different cultures, traditions and ways of life serving wherever he felt called.

"In recent years, something has been calling me back home," he explains. "I was not sure why or what it was until I learned that Paula Gillispie (former OMA Head of School) was retiring. Then I knew it was Oak Mountain Academy."

On Jan. 12, 2018, the Oak Mountain Academy Board of Trustees announced the appointment of Patrick as OMA’s 222 Cross Plains Road ~ Carrollton, GA 30116 ~ 770-834-6651 ~ www.oakmountain.us next Headmaster.

Patrick was one of 25 applicants, and brings with him 22 years of experience in education. He assumed Now Accepting Applications for Fall 2018. leadership on July 15 at the beginning of the school's 56th year.

Patrick was born in Jackson, Miss., but his family moved to Carrollton, Ga. when he was 8 years old. His parents are retired educators, each with more than 30 years of service. His family lived at Lake Carroll, and he and his two older brothers loved living there because of its close proximity to the recreational center.

He and his brothers could easily walk or bike there.

"We spent a lot of time on the ball field as kids," he relates. "When I was a little older, I got involved with the teen and community theatre in town. That is where my love of theatre began that eventually led to a professional career in the arts and a national tour. I was also active in the drama department at Central High School, as was my wife. We are both lovers of theatre, music and the arts."

Patrick and his wife, Marie, celebrated their 21st anniversary last month, and he says they were thrilled to celebrate it back in the town where they met.

Opportunities for students to grow

Academic Rigor

Experiences in a nurturing environment

WGW: Tell us why you chose to come to Oak Mountain Academy.

28

Photos by Mark Steffey

It's business as usual at Oak Mountain Academy as Patrick (left) plans OMA's 56th year of excellence with Katie Kilgore, OMA's director of admissions and marketing (center) and Cindy Jennings (right), OMA's registrar and assistant to Patrick.

PY: Growing up in Carrollton, I have known about Oak Mountain Academy for many years.

Having spent the past eight years working with Paula through GISA (Georgia Independent School Association), I was very familiar with the state of the school. After my initial interview with the full search committee, I knew that we were a good match for one another.

I was and am excited and thrilled to be offered the opportunity to serve as the next Headmaster at Oak Mountain Academy.

WGW: How long have you been an educator?

PY: I have been in education for 22 years, serving 13 of those years in various leadership positions in private, independent and public school systems.

WGW: If you could provide one message to the readers of West Georgia Woman magazine, your students and their parents, what would it be?

PY: Live a life of service to others. We are all in this world together and we need each other. Listen when people are asking for your help and recognize when they are in a time of need. This is not always easy to do. Sometimes, people ask for help in the most unloving ways. But, I promise you, someday you will need help as well.

WGW: What are your future plans for Oak Mountain Academy?

PY: My plans for Oak Mountain Academy are simple – to advance the mission and vision of the school. For more than 50 years, Oak Mountain Academy has been providing a top-notch, quality education in our community. My goal is to continue that service to the community in a way that speaks to today’s family. Providing a creative, innovative, nurturing learning environment rooted in a faithbased educational system is a golden opportunity for any family. I am honored to help provide this opportunity in our community.

WGW: What significant woman in your life has had the most impact on you and how/why?

PY: Oh, that is easy, that would be my mom, Patsy Yuran. She is a strong woman, committed to raising her three sons to be men of integrity. She is the kind of mother who made sure we knew the value of a life rooted in faith. She taught us that life would be challenging at times, but our faith would guide us through the tough times.

She taught us to be charitable. She made sure we knew that we were more privileged than others and we had a responsibility to give time, talent and treasure as often as possible. I can remember being

29

” Women make many of the

spending decisions that directly affect most of our Downtown businesses. It’s important for us from an economic vitality standpoint to make sure that our local shops, businesses and restaurants are top of mind when purchasing decisions are being made. West Georgia Woman magazine helps us to accomplish that goal. ” Christopher G. Pike, EDFP Director of Economic Development, City of Villa Rica

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30

Photo by Keith May

Magazine

really young and receiving an allowance for the first time. It was a dollar a week. The deal was that I would only receive this allowance if I agreed to put half of it in savings and give a quarter of it to the church. The other quarter was mine to do with as I pleased.

She taught us to dress up when we were going to socialize with people – not to impress, but to show respect for the people we were seeing. She made sure we knew how to treat a lady – open doors, walk beside or one step behind, order last and so forth.

She knew that displaying respect would gain you respect.

My mom taught us to take advantage of each day and never waste time – do something productive.

If we couldn’t find something to do, then she found it for us. She would send us over to the neighbor’s house to help with yard work or she would take us to her school over the summer to help out in the main office. Each day was to be lived to the fullest and to serve a purpose.

The core values I live by today were all taught to

me by my mom. I am truly blessed to have Patsy Yuran as my mother and grateful to still have her in my life today.

WGW: Can you share a heartwarming story you’ve encountered in your career?

PY: I was Headmaster at a private, independent school and we had this one young man who wanted to transfer in as second semester freshman. The admissions committee reviewed his application and declined his admission due largely to low grades and a discipline report longer than my resume. I was the one who informed him that we were not a good fit. This kid burst into tears begging me to let him in to the school proclaiming that he would never have a chance at a better life if he did not get in. That was a tough day, but I held tight on the committee’s decision.

This young man reached out to me every day for the next month. Finally, I took another meeting with him. His father was on disability, his mother worked

"The core values I live by today were all taught to me by my mom. I am truly blessed to have Patsy Yuran as my mother and grateful to still have her in my life today."

31

An Independent PreK-3 through 12th Grade College-Preparatory School

What MORE are you looking for?

Mentoring relationships Opportunities for students to grow Rigor in academic studies Experiences in a faith-based environment Our Mission: Oak Mountain Academy provides a challenging college-preparatory education in a safe family environment. The school nurtures the ethical, spiritual and physical development of students as they become confident leaders inspired to serve.

222 Cross Plains Road ~ Carrollton, GA 30116 32

770-834-6651 ~ www.oakmountain.us

several part-time jobs, and he was the oldest of three children. There I was sitting across from this 15-year-old kid, with no parents present, listening to him confess to all of his past transgressions, begging for a chance to do better, serve as a role model for his younger siblings, and wanting to be in a position as an adult to help support his family.

By this point, it was the end of his freshman year and he assured me he had been working on improving his grades and had not been in any kind of trouble since his last interview with our admission’s committee. I told him to get me a copy of his report card and discipline report at the end of the year and we would talk again. He did – his grades came up slightly and he had some tardies on his discipline record, but no major offenses. I brought this information back to the admission’s committee, and the answer was still “no.”

I met with him a few weeks later to share the news and we had a repeat of the first meeting: tears and begging. Finally, I told him that if he made it through his entire sophomore year, where he was enrolled, with all A’s and B’s and no infractions on his discipline report – not even a tardy – I would take it back to the admission’s committee for review, feeling confident that he would be admitted. Well, he did it,

and he was admitted the following fall as a junior.

For the next two years, he was a model student during the day and working two part-time jobs in the evening and on weekends to pay for his tuition.

He graduated and received a full scholarship to a prestigious university. He is the kind of kid you never forget. His determination, self-discipline, drive and perseverance are things to be admired.

WGW: Can you tell us something about yourself that would surprise our readers? Something most people wouldn't know about you?

PY: This is a tough one. I am pretty much an open book. Having grown up in Carrollton with two parents who have pretty much taught just about everyone in town – I am not sure there is anything unknown.

WGW: Is there anything else you would like to share about yourself with our readers?

PY: Just how excited I am to be home and at Oak Mountain Academy. I look forward to reconnecting with old friends and serving in the community that shaped me into the person I am today. WGW

go back to school in style

970 Hays Mill Road Carrollton, Georgia 678.664.0610 Monday - Saturday: 10 AM - 6 PM Sunday 1 - 6 PM 33

Daily Fare With

e s o R f e Ch

Chef photos by Keith May.

Rose Isaacs is a native of Carroll County and lives in Carrollton with her husband Shawn. She graduated from West Georgia Technical College in 2013 with a degree in Culinary Arts.

After graduation, she began her career as a chef at the Carrollton Kroger Marketplace where she works in the bistro.

34Recipe photos by Mark Steffey.

"

This grilled chicken is a fresh addition to a summer barbecue.

"

Grilled Raspberry Chicken Ingredients

"

The grilled pineapple makes for a wonderful sweet treat.

1 large zip-top bag

Gently massage the bag to mash the raspberries.

Marinate in the refrigerator 4 hours or overnight.

Preheat grill to medium high and oil the grates.

Remove the chicken from the bag, reserving the marinade.

Place the chicken on the grill and cook 4 to 6 minutes on each side.

When the chicken is almost finished, place slices of fresh pineapple on the grill for about 1 minute per side.

Before removing chicken from the grill, use reserved marinade to brush chicken to create a glaze.

Remove chicken and pineapple from grill and place on a serving platter.

Garnish with fresh mint and raspberries.

Preparation

Serves 4 to 6

Place chicken breasts in the zip-top bag with the thawed raspberries, pineapple juice, salt and chopped mint.

Publisher's note: The U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends boiling reserved marinades that have been in contact with raw meat for 5 minutes to kill any bacteria before brushing on the cooked meat.

6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 1/2 cup frozen raspberries, thawed 1 cup pineapple juice 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh mint leaves 1/4 tsp salt Fresh mint and fresh raspberries, for garnish Fresh pineapple chunks, for grilling and garnish

"

35

� This salad pairs well with the hottest days of summer.�

Cucumber Watermelon Salad

Ingredients

1 large seedless English cucumber 3 cups cubed watermelon, cantaloupe or honeydew melon cut into 1/2 inch pieces 1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese 1/4 cup thinly sliced mint leaves 1 teaspoon honey Juice and zest of 1 lime

Preparation Use a vegetable noodle maker to create cucumber noodles, or use a knife or mandolin to make thin slices.

Place the noodles or slices in a large bowl.

Add the melon cubes of your choice, feta cheese and mint.

For the dressing Combine the zest and juice of 1 lime and the honey in a small bowl and then pour over the salad.

Serves 3 to 4 36

WGW

� Instantly cool and refreshing,

it's perfect for backyard barbecues or tailgate parties.�

37

LIVING LESSONS LEARNED

By38Fred Richards-Daishi, Ph.D.

W

est Georgia Woman has invited me to share some of what I've learned about being a man and a human being in my almost 80 years of living. Now in the latter years of the story of my life, mortality is no abstract idea or far distant reality.

I feel the urge to share some lessons learned with my fellow men (and women, too), particularly those discouraged by failure, who may fear they are too damaged or wounded or disheartened to chart their way through this challenging life.

Given the great difficulties I faced as a young man, I'm grateful and amazed my life has turned out to be better than I once imagined it might be.

While I worked to apply lessons learned from earlier experiences, equally important was my marrying Anne Cohen Richards 49 years ago as she was someone who accepted me for who I was, including the scared, sensitive boy dwelling within the tough, hard-living, really smart man I was back in 1969.

Confronting Mortality At the start of my sophomore year in high school, I left home to live with my grandparents in St. Cloud, Fla. The family I fled followed me there months later. I avoided home by becoming very active in school, spending more time with a loving, Christian family and, having held part-time jobs since I was 12, worked a couple of jobs while leaving time to play football and baseball. One of my jobs was working at a local funeral home. It also had the only ambulance in town and a Mr. Mosher, the driver, and I picked up the dead. It was the 50s and, though a teenager, I helped to embalm and prepare the bodies for viewing and burial.

On one occasion, the deceased was a young champion swimmer visiting the town. He was almost my double in height, weight and age. The young man had gone swimming in a local lake and became entangled and trapped in construction material dumped in the lake years earlier.

I spent a lot of time in the presence of the dead and the grieving survivors as well. Attending to the corpse of the young athlete was my first really powerful confrontation with the reality of death – and the reality of my own mortality.

Many decades later, while driving my truck on Rome Street in Carrollton, I had an intensely real sense of Death sitting in the passenger seat. In a brief conversation, I asked Death how much time I had left. I "heard" him reply, "You'll have just enough time to do what you need to do." A good reason to think of projects that need to be done.

Lesson 1: Death is one of our greatest teachers.

We are born dying. It is a fact of life. Death tells us that everything, including ourselves, is impermanent.

He laughs at us when we cling desperately to our possessions, reputation and even to those we love.

We are here a brief time and we leave. Death says, don't waste a day. Each person, each moment, is precious. Live and love fully, generously, here and now! Be grateful for the givenness of things, for the life you've been given. Say yes, yes, yes to the life you have!

Thank God For Booger Angels When I was small and not quite old enough to go to school, I was invited (for the first time) to a birthday party in my neighborhood. My family moved constantly, and friendships were found and lost continually. (I later attended three different schools in the second grade . . . and failed!).

Trapped in a family caught in a cycle of fear and

Death is one of our greatest teachers.

39

"Happy Birthday."

I love her still. I do not know her name. I call her my Booger Angel. Seventy-five years later, I feel her presence, my compassionate caretaker, back then most likely not much older than a child herself.

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623 DIXIE STREET – CARROLLTON, GA neglect as well as physical and sexual abuse, I was understandably shy, fearful and depressed. Along with other traumatic events, my younger sister and I had already been chased through the house by an older sister waving a pair of large scissors and screaming she was going to kill us.

Being invited to a party was a huge deal. Recalling the experience, I see I am sitting on the floor with several children gathered around a low table. A young woman with dark hair is bringing out a large cake with lit candles and placing it on the table. She is a teenager of perhaps 14 or 15.

There I am, excited about, yet perplexed at, having been invited to a party. I'm looking wideeyed at the cake when, suddenly, I have to sneeze.

And when I do, a lump of snot, in my eyes as large as a baseball, is moving in slow motion out of my nose, through space, and onto the cake. I stop breathing and disappear. My body remains but most of me is fleeing the room. Surely, I believe, my social life is over.

But the young woman takes a napkin, and with a sleight-of-hand equal to Houdini, removes the giant booger and begins singing "Happy Birthday." She smiles at me. No shame. No blame. No humiliation.

No punishment. Just a bunch of kids joyfully singing

40

Lesson 2: We all know suffering is a fact of life.

Even in the best of families, children don't get out of childhood without some wounds. We human beings are capable of great acts of kindness and terrible acts of cruelty as well. I learned early that the world is both wonderful and terrifying. I've seen a lot. I've known people who, broken by abuse and unforeseen catastrophes and losses, do not find their way back to life and are defeated and destroyed.

I also know we are fragile and resilient, that many are wounded but do not go down in defeat. Some become Booger Angels, and we are called to become Booger Angels as well. We are called to practice loving kindness and strive to be the kind of adult we wish we had known when we were a child.

The Healing Presence Of A Good Man My freshman year at Stetson University in Deland, Fla., I joined a large group of male students making their way through my dorm on their way to carrying out the first ever panty raid at the school. The administration randomly picked several students to be punished. I was not initially among them.

At that time, being a licensed Southern Baptist preacher and someone hiding my lost, confused self behind a facade of idealistic self assurance, I marched into the Dean's office to confess my involvement, insisting it was the Christian thing to do. As a result of my doing this, however, I lost my scholarship, a semester's work went down the tubes, and, briefly, I had some satisfaction being celebrated by the student body as a Christian martyred for telling the truth.

Afterwards, I fell into a hole of sadness and depression. I reluctantly headed north to Columbia, Penn., where my family had bought a row house about to be condemned by the city. I found several jobs and set out, while my Merchant Seaman father was at sea, to restore the front of the house by removing a crumbling front porch. I was miserable and angry.

One morning when I was attacking the front porch with my body, a Lutheran minister came by wearing a black suit and a white clerical collar. The

short-handled shovel and began filling a bucket with ashes.

We worked side by side in silence for some time. I was confused by his behavior: no preaching, no advice, no criticism or pressure to attend his church. Just a man willing to pitch in and give me a hand.

Within a couple of weeks I visited his church, soon acquired a job as its janitor, wore clothes donated by members, and occasionally worked a day on his family farm in Gettysburg.

He was the kind of person I wanted for a father. He and his wife had a daughter, and I became for him the son he didn't have.

He was the kind of caring, manly, wise man I wanted to be but didn't yet believe I could become. The possible person he saw inside of me I could not yet see.

He was the kind of person I wanted for a father. whole works. A Southern Baptist boy, I dismissed his invitation to visit his church.

Several days later, while I was in the basement patching a hole in a coal-burning furnace and removing ashes, Reverend Bradley Thomas Gaver returned, carrying two baked chickens. Enquiring about the young man he had spoken with previously, he came down the outside basement steps and, without saying more than a "good morning," removed his coat, rolled up his sleeves, grabbed a

Lesson 3: Treating others with kindness lets them know they matter. The wounded of the world, which I believe includes all of us, can often be healed by acts of kindness rather than mere words and well-intentioned advice. What invites us to believe we can change is not what people

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41

M ORGAN O IL COMPANY

Celebrating 85 years tell us as much as how we feel in their presence, who we come to believe we might be or become if some real, genuine, caring human being treats us with respect and lets us know we matter. Human beings like Rev. Gaver remind us that, as flawed and unfinished as we are, we can help to set people free to live lives worth living.

Choosing To Live Later in the summer of 1958, I saved enough money to travel by train to Key West and for $28 fly to Cuba to visit a student friend, Thomas E. Besosa, and his family. In Cuba at that time, Fidel Castro and his guerillas were fighting to overthrow the oppressive and brutal rule of Batista.

I found myself being joyful and alive among the Cuban people. Thus, when it was time to leave, I prayed that Castro would bomb the Havana airport so I wouldn't be able to return. (I learned years later Castro had no planes.) Returning to my family home was more threatening to me than being in a war zone.

Back in the states, I became seriously depressed and, when Stetson University invited me to return to school and help me financially, I prepared to leave.

42

My mother, who had looked to me to take care of her and be her confidant since I was very young, wept, begged me not to return to college and insisted she "could not go on" if I left.

The morning the taxi arrived to take me to the train station, I heard my sister screaming as I was getting in the cab. I ran into the house and found my mother collapsed on the floor, bleeding profusely from a cut on her forehead. She and my sister were crying and begging me to stay, yelling "You say you're a caring person but you're not. You don't care about anyone!" I was speechless and then I heard myself saying, "I'm sorry. If I stay here I'm going to die. If I don't leave I will never have a life." And I returned to Stetson.

I felt guilty for years, even ashamed, while also knowing that speaking the words rising up from somewhere deep inside me, I had chosen to live and seek out a larger world and a larger self.

Lesson 4: Having to say goodbye to live.

Caring about others is not about sacrificing the life you've been given to take care of others who want you to stay in a life that is no life at all. It's a fact that we cannot make others change in order for them to wake up and live. It's been said that the

most morally reprehensible act is to make others responsible for how we are living our life, for our having decided to not live our life at all. I loved my mother and sister and carry some guilt still that I was not able to rescue them or even see them actually happy behind the face they presented to the public.

Walking away from people we love when knowing that staying will mean betraying our soul's longing to live is one of the most painful things you do or may feel compelled to do.

Mary Oliver (2017) in "The Journey," speaks to that moment when you realize what you have to do to live while all around you others cry out "Mend my life!" Taking your journey, you hear a voice which you recognize as your own, going with you as you go "into the world,/determined to do/the only thing you could do – /determined to save/the only life you could save."

Trauma Revisited My wife, Anne, and I moved to Carrollton in 1975 to take a shared teaching position in the Department of Psychology at what was then West Georgia College.

The wild and crazy and turbulent 60s arrived in Carrollton in the 70s. My hard-drinking lifestyle and tendency to run or dance naked when intoxicated shocked some but amused others, since during those times of streaking and communal living, I was viewed as something of a free spirit. But my exuberance and passion for life belied my effort to avoid confronting the pain of my past trauma.

Dancing naked at a Halloween party I experienced flashbacks of having witnessed, when

just short of turning 3, my father – more a stranger coming home on leave during the Second World War – sexually abusing two of my siblings from my mother's previous marriage. Contacting my younger sister, who was only 2 and holding my hand when we witnessed the horror, I was astounded she could recall at all the experience.

She shared with me also what others had told her. (It took one of the sisters, who was 8 when she was abused, over 70 years to finally share with me everything that happened to her, including the damage it caused later in her life and in her relationships.) I learned also that my younger sister was later sexually abused by our father and was raped by our half brother.

I, myself, had no recollection of being sexually abused, but the terror of watching my siblings being abused and hearing them cry and scream was, I know, equally traumatic for two children not yet 3 years old. For half my life, I would display all the symptoms – a desire to be perfect, alcohol and sexual addiction, life-risking behaviors, periods of depression. After re-experiencing the trauma that Halloween, my acting out in public while naked ended.

Nonetheless, I was offered a non-tenured teaching position at the university and I declined the offer. In time, I was asked to volunteer at the local mental health clinic that lacked funds to fill needed positions. I worked a year full-time without pay.

Clients wanted to work with me. I realized it didn't matter if I was probably more lost and troubled than some of them; what mattered was that I cared, I listened, I was genuinely present, and they felt respected, seen and heard in my presence. We were healing one another.

Meanwhile, I had been completing a master's in counseling and in time, fearfully and anxiously, started a counseling practice. I had found my calling, or my calling found me.

What we run from runs our lives; What we face frees us to live.

Lesson 5: Become a wounded healer.

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Religious and spiritual traditions teach that we have to descend into the darkness to reach the light, that getting to a heaven calls for us realizing we're in a hell. A favorite hymn of many of us says that when facing our wretchedness, God's amazing grace arrives to save us. Though lost, we are found.

Though blind, we learn to see.

We men are all wounded, particularly those of us who refuse to admit we are. We struggle within with things invisible to others – and often to ourselves.

We need to be kind to one another, less judgmental.

We need to share our stories, share what we've learned.

The past is present. We are often haunted and sometimes tormented by the ghosts of experiences too painful to fully recall. What we deny or ignore, what we are afraid to befriend within us and share, shows up again and again in our troubled relationships and self-defeating behaviors. An old bumper sticker of mine read: "What we run from runs our lives; what we face frees us to live."

I have come to know that everything we have experienced – good or bad – is an opportunity for soul-making, is an opportunity to learn more about our humanity and become more deeply connected to one another. Recalling painful experiences can

become a blessing, a revelation of the suffering we human beings share. We may be able to become what psychologist C.G. Jung (1963) and Henri Nouven (1979) called "the wounded healer."

We can learn to tend to our wounds with one hand so the other is free to heal the wounds of others. We can come to know and perhaps embody the joy found in living the life of compassion, a compassion writes Wayne Miller (1992) we offer to others in mutual recognition of our shared suffering.

WGW Fred Richards-Daishi, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, personal and professional coach, author, artist, published poet, recipient of the Counselor of the Year Award (1999) from the Licensed Professional Counselor Association of Georgia and the Club Herald (since 1978) of the Carrollton Kiwanis Club. He lives in Carrollton with his wife, Dr. Anne C. Richards, Professor Emerita, University of West Georgia.

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” West Georgia Woman magazine is

West Georgia Men Value Women.

a quality publication focused on articles of interest to women.

By advertising here we get to communicate with a segment of our community I feel is underserved by professional financial advisors. We want women to know we are different from what they may have experienced in the past, or what they perceive to be, if they have never worked with a professional financial advisor before.”

Michael L. Stone AAMS®, PPC®, AIF® Wealth Manager Founder & CEO Milestone Investment Management An Independent firm Investment advice offered through IFG Advisory, LLC, a registered investment advisor. IFG Advisory, LLC and Milestone Investment Management, LLC are separate entities from LPL Financial.

Sincere thanks to all of our valued community partners from

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Magazine

45

Managing Your Health 46

By Hermogenes Pagsisihan, M.D.

M

uch about treating patients has changed since I moved my practice to Carrollton. The diseases are the same, but they affect many more people. Today, patients are generally less involved in their medical care so there is a real need for patients to take an active role in managing their own health.

Insurance companies and the government Medicare programs are recognizing the lack of engagement by patients and are now seeking to reward patients who take better care of themselves.

There are many conditions that affect patients that require a person to seek medical attention quickly.

However, most patients that regularly see a doctor suffer from long-term chronic conditions.

A chronic condition is defined as a condition that is expected to last for 12 months or more, and many chronic conditions last a person's entire life, such as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

Each of these conditions requires a collaborative effort – meaning a doctor is needed to prescribe medicine and to monitor the results of lab tests. The patient with a chronic condition also has a great deal of responsibility in managing their illness: they may need to record blood sugar levels, blood pressure readings and take their medications as they are prescribed.

Taking Charge Of Your Healthcare If you or a person you care for suffers from a chronic condition, there are a few statements the patient should be able to make.

1. When all is said and done, I am the person who is responsible for managing my health condition. When a patient realizes they are responsible for their own health, they become motivated to take action to get better. They listen more closely to the advice given by their medical doctors and they follow those instructions.

2. Taking an active role in my own healthcare is the most important factor in determining my health and ability to function. Patients taking an active role in their healthcare do things that help them stay healthy, such as taking a 20 minute walk each day. Simply getting up and moving makes a difference in how a patient copes with a chronic condition.

Many patients work in roles that require little physical activity, but our bodies are truly designed to be active.

3. I am confident that I can take actions that will help prevent or minimize some symptoms or problems associated with my health condition. This is another move toward empowering yourself to understand what symptoms mean and how your conditions affect your daily life. If you know these things you can discuss them with your doctor at your next office visit. This will enhance the ability of your doctor to properly treat your condition.

4. I know what each of my prescribed medications is for and how and when to take them. This one seems obvious because everyone knows what medications they are taking and what the medication treats, right? Unfortunately, as patients accumulate medications it is very difficult to keep them straight, and it is dangerous if you take a medication without understanding their complicated relationships with other medications. Medications can also interact with the supplements that you take and the food that you eat. One of the best examples of knowing about your medications that I have seen from a patient is when a patient has a list of the medications along with the instructions

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time what you are looking for and, at times, you may ask for advice from an employee at the store to make a final decision. As a customer at a store, you are genuinely engaged in buying everyday items.

Speaking directly with your healthcare provider is like having the medication manufacturer's representative right there with you. At your next medical exam, use your time with your physician wisely and follow his or her medical directions.

Become active in your health care – it can really change the way you live the rest of your life. WGW

right there in their wallet. This can quickly be referred to if the patient is at the doctor, the pharmacy or in an urgent need-to-know situation.

When you adopt these statements, they can be life-altering. While this is just the beginning of accepting responsibility for your health, it is a giant step forward for a person with a chronic condition.

When you go to a store, you don't just buy whatever it is they are selling. You know ahead of

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Hermogenes Pagsisihan, M.D. (Dr. Pag) is part of a family with a history of providing medical care for others. His father was a surgeon, his mom was a nurse and his uncle was also a doctor. Dr. Pag grew up in Athens and spent much of his time in his dad's office in Madison, Ga. Dr. Pag graduated from the University of Georgia before attending medical school in the Philippines. After completing his medical residency he began working in Albany, Ga., at a Phoebe Putney Leesburg Health System medical clinic. In 2004, Dr. Pag joined Dr. Crews and Dr. Jellicorse at Primary Care Group of West Georgia, now known as Physician's Care Group of West Georgia in Carrollton, Ga.

T

Mark Foster Receives 40 Under 40 Retail Recognition from Automotive News

urning around a struggling store, or several. Sending sales and profits through the roof. Revitalizing fixed ops or finance and insurance departments. Recasting digital marketing efforts.

Each of the individuals in Automotive News' seventh annual listing of 40 Under 40 in auto retailing earned their spot on the list by their real-world accomplishments. These individuals are certainly among the industry's standouts today – and are poised to be tomorrow's leaders.

Mark Foster • AGE: 36 • POSITION: Executive Manager, Walker Cadillac-Buick-GMC, Carrollton, Ga. • ACHIEVEMENT: More than doubled retail sales in five years

I

n the eighth grade, Mark Foster realized he wanted to be around cars because "it was sexy."

"I have always been mesmerized by the car business," Foster said. "I love cars and I love people."

As a teenager, Foster spent his free time downloading so much car information from the website of his hometown dealership, Walker Cadillac-Buick-GMC, that his name popped up repeatedly as a lead. When his uncle went to buy a car there one day, he told the owner, "You have to hire my nephew."

Foster became the dealership's Internet specialist two days after he graduated from high school in June 2000. He had planned to attend a local university, but the dealership's general manager told him, "You need to go to this college in Michigan," directing him to Northwood University. Foster graduated from there in December 2004 and returned to the dealership as its controller. Two years later, he graduated from the NADA Dealer Academy.

That summer, dealership founder Joe Whit Walker died. Amid the management changes, Foster became the store's general manager. "I told his son, Greg, 'I am going to run your dealership as if it were my own and it was my own money,' " Foster recalled.

First, Foster made sure he had the right people in the right jobs. Then he set about stocking more fast-turning new vehicles and pricing them to move. "With GM's repayment programs, it made financial sense to sell in volume, and we doubled our

sales volume in less than five years," he said. "We bought three neighboring properties and bulldozed buildings to stock more inventory."

The dealership now sells about 1,200 new and used vehicles a year, versus 550 five years ago, he said. "The more you sell, the more you make, even though you're making less per unit," Foster said.

The higher volumes also gave the store a chance to build a reputation and win customer loyalty.

"We have hundreds of customers who'll drive, on average, more than 80 miles here to buy a car," said Foster. "The price got them here. The service has kept them coming back."

For customers within a two-hour drive of the dealership, Foster offers to have his driver pick up their vehicle, leave a loaner car, take their vehicle in for servicing and return it when the work is done.

Foster said that amenity has "blossomed into something huge." By Jamie LaReau. Reprinted with permission from Automotive News. WGW

"I have always been mesmerized by the car business. I love cars and I love people."

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Womentality

Inspiring Quotes By Extraordinary Men

– Fred Richards-Daishi, Ph.D.

“Don’t raise your voice.

Improve your argument.

“

– Desmond Tutu

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

– Bruce Lee “

“To become a real person, it is important to first face and accept who we are rather than strive to be what we understand is the good. Facing how flawed we are, we open ourselves to a compassionate grace that helps us to learn forgiveness, mercy and loving kindness. ”

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

– Mark Twain

“Whether one is rich or poor, educated or illiterate, religious or non-believing, man or woman, black, white or brown, we are all the same. Physically, emotionally and mentally, we are all equal. We all share basic needs for food, shelter, safety and love.

We all aspire to happiness and we all shun suffering. Each of us has hopes, worries, fears and dreams. Each of us wants the best for our family and loved ones. We all experience pain when we suffer loss and joy when we achieve what we seek. On this fundamental level, religion, ethnicity, culture and language make no difference.”

– Dalai Lama 50

Local Happenings

Healers and Helpers Wellness Group

This group meets the last Saturday of every month in Douglasville or Austell. For more information, contact Cheryl at theheartmatters@gmail.com or 678.754.5840.

Learn more at www.heartmatterswellness.com.

Hope For The Journey This group meets the third Thursday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in the board room at the Tracy Stallings Community Center at 118 South White St. in Carrollton.

These events are free to breast cancer survivors or those currently battling breast cancer.

Learn more at www.hopeforthejourneywestga.org, email execdirector@hopeforthejourneywestga.org or call 770.214.1491.

Rare Pearls Mentoring and Leadership Program

Rare Pearls mission is to enrich and empower the lives of young girls and women. This group meets the third Saturday of each month at WellStar Douglas Hospital, 8954 Hospital Dr. in Douglasville, in the Sycamore Room from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m.

This program is open to all girls ages 10 to 17.

For more information call 770.947.8210, email rarepearls2015@gmail.com or visit the website at www.rarepearlsmentoringandleadership.org

Nursing From The Heart Breastfeeding Support Group This group meets the third Monday of each month from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. at 500 Old Bremen Road in Carrollton.

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These events are free to pregnant women and moms looking for breastfeeding support. Free weight checks for your baby will be available. Come and share your breastfeeding journey with us.

Please check our website for meeting and event updates at www.nursingfromtheheart.com.

Global BIG Latch On August 4, 2018 At The AMP Nursing From The Heart in partnership with the West Georgia Breastfeeding Task Force invite families, friends and members of the community to join in the celebration to help protect, promote and support breastfeeding.

The Global BIG Latch On takes place around the world, where people gather together to breastfeed and offer peer support to each other and we are excited to be hosting the event again this year in Carrollton on Aug. 4 from 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. at the AMP. We aim to raise breastfeeding awareness, provide local resources, education, support and to create a breastfeeding friendly community to ensure breastfeeding as a normal part of day-to-day life in West Georgia. For more information or if you are interested in becoming a participant, volunteer or sponsor please contact Anne Lussier: BLO@nursingfromtheheart.com or call 470.270.9520.

GriefShare at Tabernacle Baptist Church Utilizing a video seminar, support group and workbook, each of the 13 weekly GriefShare meetings center around a topic important to the grief recovery process.

Registration begins at 5:30 p.m., and the meetings run from 6 to 7:30 p.m. each evening.

Meetings are held at 150 Tabernacle Drive, Room 256, Carrollton, Ga. Classes are free. Participation workbooks are $15.

DivorceCare at Tabernacle Baptist Church Utilizing a video seminar, support group, and workbook, each of the 13 weekly DivorceCare

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meetings center around a topic important to your recovery process.

Registration begins at 5:30 p.m., and the meetings run from 6 to 7:30 p.m. each evening.

Meetings are held at 150 Tabernacle Drive, Room 260, Carrollton, Ga. Classes are free. Participation workbooks are $15.

For more information on GriefShare or DivorceCare, call or text John Pearson at 404.368.2746.

Carroll EMC Wins Communication Award

Carroll EMC Communications and Corporate Events Coordinator, Kelly Hester (left), and Communication Specialist, Anitra Ellison (right), accepted top award from the 2018 Cooperative Communicators Association Annual Institute in Ft. Worth, Texas. Photo by Carroll EMC.

Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative took home an award from the Cooperative Communicators Association’s (CCA) Excellence in Communications awards ceremony, held during the annual CCA educational Institute June 2-5 in Fort Worth, Texas.

Professional communicators representing cooperatives from across the United States and Canada submitted nearly 600 entries in the competition. The awards recognize the best in writing, photography, programs and projects, and publications. Carroll EMC won first place in the Miscellaneous Promotional category.

CCA, the only professional communications organization dedicated to serving those associated with Member-owned businesses, met at the

Beyond her works with local churches, she founded The Holy Spirit Emergency Shelter in 2014, which provides shelter to homeless individuals during inclement weather. Services of the shelter included showers, clothing, laundering, hot meals, fellowship and Bible studies. Under her leadership, the shelter expanded services to include assistance for medical or prescription needs and monthly Carroll EMC is a Member-owned cooperative providing Resource Days where anyone in need could utilize electricity to approximately 50,000 homes and businesses. The existing services plus haircuts, medical screenings or co-op serves Members in Carroll, Haralson, Heard, Paulding, referrals to other agencies. During 2016, the shelter Polk and Troup counties. This institution is an equal opportunity provider and employer. For more information visit the partnered with two local churches to provide new cooperative’s website at carrollemc.com or follow Carroll EMC on locations and additional support.

Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn. “Laddie is such a dedicated and giving person,” Carroll EMC: Community Built. Community Builder. said Rebecca Smith, past president for the Carrollton Evening Sertoma Club. “Her vision and hard work address a serious need for most communities. It truly takes a servant’s heart.”

Laddie Carter is a Carrollton native and attended West Georgia College. She and her husband, Bill, have been married more than 50 years and have two sons, Brett and Matt. Before her philanthropic work, Carter managed her family-owned company Groover Smith Furniture Company from 1980 to 2005 and has owned antique booths in Bowdon, Ga., and Wedowee and Oxford, Ala. The Carters are members of First United Methodist Church and enjoy spending time with their daughters-in-law Marianna and Kelly and four grandchildren Caroline, Cole, Katy Beth and Chloe.

Past President, Jay Gill, presents award to Laddie Carter.

Hilton Forth Worth where it drew more than 100 communicators from across the country.

The four-day educational program included a variety of professional development sessions ranging from effective social media tactics and video production, to photography tips and writing workshops.

Carter Receives Service to Mankind Award

Photos by Rebecca Smith.

Sertoma (Service to Mankind) was established in 1912 as the Cooperative Club in Kansas City, Missouri. Now, Sertoma clubs can be found throughout the U.S., Canada and Mexico.

Historically, the organization has focused on speech and hearing health problems, particularly in children, but has since adopted programs targeting drug-use education and projects promoting freedom and democracy to school-aged children. Local Sertoma clubs also sponsor and support teen and collegiate clubs in area schools.

Laddie Carter pictured with her family. (Left to Right: daughter-in-law Kelly Carter, Matt Carter, Laddie Carter, Brett Carter, daughter-in-law Marianna Carter, grandchildren Cole and Caroline Carter)

Laddie Carter has been honored by the Carroll County and Carrollton Evening Sertoma (Service To Mankind) Clubs with the Service To Mankind Award for 2017. The award recognizes local philanthropists for their works in the community and at large.

As the 2017 recipient of the award, Carter has been a community leader for volunteerism and outreach for more than a decade in the Carroll County area.

The float built by members of GFWC Carrollton Civic Woman's Club won First Place in the General category in the July 4th People's Parade. Club member and float designer/director Debbie Waters accepts the award. The giant cake represents the club's 50th anniversary celebration this year.

53

Crunching the Numbers

How the New 2018 Tax Laws May Affect You 54

By Kevin Phillips, EA, MAcc

Y

ou know the old saying attributed to Ben Franklin that states, "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes?"

Well, the major tax reform that was passed by Congress through the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act and updates from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) have left many Americans feeling quite uncertain about their tax situations for the 2018 tax year.

From claiming dependents to personal exemptions, job related expenses to home mortgage interest, I've included some of the most common questions I have received from my clients regarding the new tax laws.

• Are exemptions still available? No. The $4,050 personal and dependency exemptions have been eliminated with the new law.

Before the new laws, the exemption allowed taxpayers to subtract $4,050 from their taxable income for each dependent they claimed.

• Will I still be able to claim my child who is in college as a dependent in 2018? Yes. You will still be able to claim your child as a dependent for the educational credits.

• Can I write off my unreimbursed job related expenses in 2018? No. Job related expenses fall under the 2 percent of Adjusted Gross Income Limitation that is no longer available under the Tax Cuts & Jobs Act. • Can I deduct job related moving expenses?

No. That deduction has been eliminated for everyone except members of the armed forces.

• Can I still deduct my home mortgage interest? Yes. Past mortgages are grandfathered into the new law. If you purchase a home between December 14, 2017 and 2026 you can deduct the interest up to $750,000.00 of the loan premium.

• What about home equity line interest?

No. The home equity line of credit interest deduction is no longer available and there is no grandfathering. This means anyone who has an existing home equity loan cannot deduct the interest after 2017. The new law does allow for deductions in limited circumstances. If the home equity line is obtained for home improvements, you can deduct up to $750,000 of the loan premium.

• Should I be concerned about the new Estate Tax Law? It depends. If you have more than $11.2 million in assets then the answer is yes.

The exemption rose from $5.6 million in assets

per person to $11.2 million, so a couple can exclude up $22.4 million in 2018.

Hiring An Accountant When people ask me at what point they need to hire an accountant, my answer is always the moment you become confused. Most individual tax returns are simple until you become eligible for credits, you sell your home or go into business for yourself.

Once you become confused or if you research the tax laws in an area and you do not understand them, that is the time to seek out an honest tax preparer.

You don’t want to make a mistake that could be very costly in the future.

If you're wondering if an accountant can prevent you from being audited, the answer is it depends on you and your accountant. The IRS looks for those claiming credits they are not eligible for. If you lie to your accountant, then it is not his or her fault.

However, a good accountant should ask enough questions and require enough information from you to prevent you from reporting something that you shouldn’t.

Another benefit of using an accountant is that in the event that you are audited, you should have all of the proper documentation readily available to get through the process easily.

It would take more than one article to share with you all of the benefits of hiring an accountant, but, in my opinion using an accountant and having his or her knowledge and expertise over the course of your lifetime far outweighs your investment.

Remember to choose wisely and search for licensed Enrolled Agents and Certified Public Accountants.

Most important, find an accountant you can trust because there are some licensed professionals out there who can be less than ethical. WGW Kevin Phillips, owner of K.L. Phillips, LLC in Carrollton, has a master's degree in accounting from the University of West Georgia and is licensed as an Enrolled Agent with the IRS. His office provides accounting, tax and consulting services yearround. His firm is a member of the Georgia Association of Accountants and Tax Professionals (GAATP) and the National Society of Accountants (NSA). If you'd like to learn more about the services he offers, please contact him at 678.664.0179 or visit the website at www.klphillips-ea.com to schedule your free consultation.

55

Boys Don't Cry!

Embracing the Human Experience 56

B

oys don't cry!;" "Boys will be boys;" "Stop acting like a girl!;" Regardless of what gender you are, you've most likely heard – or even said – these phrases at least once in your lifetime.

Gender stereotypes are deep-seated beliefs about appropriate behaviors for females and males that are taught to us from birth and continue throughout our lives.

Boys Don't Cry Traditionally, boys have been taught from an early age that it isn't alright to share emotions, feelings or display signs of sadness. Worse, boys are often punished, shamed or chastised for crying. In Psychology Today's article, "Boys Who Cry Might Have It All Figured Out," Christia S. Brown, Ph.D., says this logic is extremely flawed. "If boys don’t cry, then you shouldn’t have to tell your son that boys don’t cry," she says. "I never have to tell my dog that dogs don’t meow. She doesn’t meow, will never meow, and me telling her this tidbit is pretty irrelevant. Repeatedly telling a crying boy that boys don’t cry is ignoring the obvious: that boys do, in fact, cry."

And young boys do cry. Just as much as young girls. And boys should be allowed the freedom to feel sadness and express these very basic human emotions without shame or recrimination.

Boys Will Be Boys This skewed logic about boys being shamed for crying leads us to the reasons behind another popular phrase describing boys: "Boys will be boys." If

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boys can't or aren't supposed to cry in our society, then what can they do with those emotions?

Emotions do not just disappear – they have to be released in some way. And what is usually the acceptable way for boys to release their emotions?

Through anger and aggression, and this can be dangerous for boys – and girls.

The phrase, "Boys will be boys," implies that boys are biologically driven to be aggressive, hypersexual, rough and tough – and that they should be excused from the consequences of these types of behaviors simply because they were born a boy.

The phrase also implies that there is only one "right" way to be a boy, when in fact, boys are individual human beings, each with their own set of personalities and temperaments. We are selling our boys short when we confine to these Boys should be them society-defined allowed the definitions of masculinity. freedom to

feel sadness and express these very basic human emotions without shame or recrimination.

Stop Acting Like A Girl This phrase is probably one of the most disparaging to girls in regards to what it says about what it actually means to be

57

a girl in society. In the 2014 Always "LikeAGirl" campaign, the company asked teenage girls and boys to perform various activities "like a girl," such as running, throwing a ball or fighting. Then, they brought in much younger girls and asked them to perform the same activities.

The results were astounding. The older teens – boys and girls – used exaggerated "prissy" movements to show how a girl would do the activities. The younger girls simply performed the activities to the best of their ability.

Lauren Greenfield, filmmaker and director of the "LikeAGirl" video said, "In my work as a documentarian, I have witnessed the confidence crisis among girls and the negative impact of stereotypes first-hand. When the words 'like a girl' are used to mean something bad, it is profoundly disempowering."

By using this phrase, we teach boys that girls are not capable; girls are weak; girls are not as good as boys; and doing anything like a girl would do something is a very bad thing.

Challenging The Stereotypes There are many ways parents can counteract gender stereotypes at home.

• Try to avoid gender specific phrases such as "that's women's work," "be a man," "that's not ladylike" or "that's a man's job."

• Encourage your children to have friends of both genders • Praise and reinforce respectful behaviors toward all people • Don't discourage your children from participating in what society believes to be gender specific actvities if they have an interest. For example, boys taking dance or cooking classes or girls trying out for the football or wrestling team.

• Allow your children to choose the clothing they prefer. If your son would rather wear purple or pink shirts instead of traditional "boy" colors, let him. If your daughter wants to dress up like Spiderman® for Halloween, let her.

• If you see a blatant gender stereotype on television, call it out. Explain to your child that even though you only see women wearing rubber gloves on TV, that doesn't mean men don't do their share of the dishes in the home.

• Have your children help with all of the

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household chores – regardless of their gender. Ask your daughter to take out the trash or cut the grass. Ask your son to cook dinner or take care of the dusting. By learning how to do all of the household chores, your children will be well-equipped to handle any chore when they are out on their own one day.

• Don't focus your praise only on physical attributes. Tell your daughter how intelligent and athletic she is as well as beautiful. Tell your son how kind and caring he is as well as strong.

The Impact Gender stereotypes can have a negative impact on boys and girls, can limit choices regarding extracurricular activities and academic subjects, may prohibit interactions with others and may inhibit them from creating respectful and authentic relationships today and in the future.

Let's stop limiting our children to society's version of what it means to be a man or a woman and, instead, allow them to fully embrace what it means to be a wonderful human being and productive member of society, regardless of their gender. WGW

The Law Office of William E. Brooks Immigration Attorney Oficina del abogado William E. Brooks Abogado de inmigración: • • • • • • • • • • • •

• Family Petitions • Refugees/Asylum Permanent Residence • • Citizenship Adjustment of Status • • Employment Visas Immigration Detention • • T Visa (Human Trafficking Victims) U Visa (Crime Victims) • VAWA (Violence Against • Women Act) TPS (Temporary • Protected Status) NACARA •

inmigración por Familia Refugiados/Asilo Residencia Permanente Ciudadania y Naturalización Ajuste de Estatus Visas de Trabajo DetencÍon de la Inmigración T Visa (Víctimas de trafico humano) U Visa (Víctimas de crimen violento) VAWA (Violencia en contra de la mujer) TPS NACARA

Helping Immigrants Live The American Dream!

302.753.4189 1.800.903.7344 Correo Electrónico: williambrks@hotmail.com

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Immigration Attorney

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Kidz Korner

By Charlene Brooks

Foam Football Helmets

C

Materials Foam sheets Glitter letters Glue Construction paper

elebrate the beginning of football season with these easy to make foam football helmets.

Just use foam sheets with your favorite team colors to create a Hall of Fame masterpiece.

For a sweet and salty treat at your next tailgate party, just add some melted chocolate to the ends of pretzel rods. Your little ones will love making this delicious football-themed snack.

Instructions Cut out the football helmet and star from the foam sheets. Glue the star onto the football helmet.

Glue the letter of your choice into center of the star.

Print or write your team's name on construction paper and glue onto the helmet. Decorate the helmet's face guard with pieces of the glitter letters.

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Pretzel Rod Footballs Ingredients Chocolate candy melts White chocolate candy melts Pretzel rods Waxed paper Decorating bag with small tip

Instructions Melt the chocolate and white chocolate candy melts in microwave. Dip pretzels in the chocolate halfway, place on waxed paper and allow to dry.

Place melted vanilla in the decorating bag and decorate to look like football laces. WGW

August is National Immunization Awareness Month • All adults should get recommended vaccines to protect their health • Even healthy adults can become ill and pass diseases on to others • All adults should get an influenza vaccine each year to protect against seasonal flu, especially older adults (65 and older), pregnant women and people with long-term medical conditions such as asthma, heart disease and diabetes • Every adult should get one dose of Tdap vaccine (tetanus, diptheria and pertussis) if they did not get Tdap as a teen, and then receive a Td (tetanus and diptheria) booster every 10 years. Women should get a Tdap vaccine during each pregnancy preferably during their third trimesters (27 to 36 weeks) • Adults 50 and older are recommended to receive the shingles vaccine • Adults 65 and older are recommended to receive both pneumococcal vaccines, and some adults younger than 65 with certain conditions are also recommended to receive one or both pneumococcal vaccines • Everyone should have their vaccination needs assessed by a health care professional

Source: National Public Health Information Coalition

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publisher of the magazine and believe in the vision of West Georgia Woman. It is a very professional publication that publishes a unique perspective. Women are usually interested in finding the healthiest options for themselves and their family and tend to have a greater understanding that our services will impact their health in a positive way.�

Clyde Navarro Doctor of Chiropractic Integrative Body Health Carrollton, Ga.

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Family and Cosmetic Dentistry Creating Beautiful Smiles For Over 15 years!

M. Dawn Harvey, DMD, PC

Family Dentistry and Complete Facial Esthetics 105 Dallas Rd, Villa Rica, GA 30180 • 770.459.5778 www.drharveysmiles.com

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