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Early Departure Weston Wood f i n
I was holding my face as I sat hunched over on the edge of your bed. You were sitting just a few feet away on the floor, but our eyes never made contact. “I can’t continue to do this” I said. As the words left my mouth they destroyed everything in their path, including you. I ran my fingers through my hair and grabbed a handful. In just a few hours I needed to be on a plane to Colorado. Staring at the floor, I felt my stomach turn upside-down as I realized this was the beginning of the end. The room laid completely silent for only a moment, then we both started to cry, and that was the only thing we had left. I wanted to tell you that I still love you, but the thought alone was making my throat burn and my head pound. I wiped the tears from my eyes and managed to look in your direction. You laid face down, and your body seemed lifeless. You were wearing my hoodie, and your hair was tied up in my favorite way. I studied the way your back rose and fell as you took breaths trying to calm yourself. Every time your pale blue painted fingernails gripped the floor I felt my neck tense up. I wanted to move closer, pick you up and hold you, but I didn’t. Instead the only thing I could say was, “I have to leave soon”.
EARLY
DE PA R TU R E
It seemed like the worst time to be traveling away from home. I was in the middle of a conversation that should have been talked through for much longer, but I was running out of time. You were trying to steady your voice, “I’m so sorry” and I knew that you were, but this time I had to make a change. I stood up from the bed and made my way over to my bags, picked them up and moved closer to the door. Can I get a hug goodbye? I asked.
Picking yourself up from the carpet you tried to hide your face as it fell into my chest. Standing there, I tried to pretend we were lying in bed. I tried to pretend it was summer again, and I was holding you by the lake. I tried to pretend this was our first date and I was hugging you goodnight. I tried to pretend I was a hundred different places besides this one. Because it was this one moment that would make every moment to follow that much harder. I didn’t want to let you go, but I knew I had to. I reached for the door and did everything I could not to look back.
W E S T ON
I arrived at the airport with a few of my classmates. We were traveling as a group to the mountains for our senior trip. It was to be an entire week filled with hiking, camping, good food and great friends. They all seemed so excited about the adventure we were about to embark on. There was talk about all of our plans for the upcoming week as we made our way through the terminal, but my mind was back at your apartment. I sat in my seat, this one not nearly as comfortable as the couch in your living room. I watched as people boarded the plane.
Someone was wearing perfume that smelled a lot like yours and it was making me nauseous. I felt like I was mourning the loss of a best friend. The city grew smaller as we rose above the clouds, and I realized there was no turning back. I looked down through the plane window, and I swear I could see your apartment. I knew exactly where you were and wanted to be there too. I could feel my anxiety growing about the journey ahead. The fear of the unknown was weighing heavy on me.
WOODFI N
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EARLY
DE PA R TU R E
‘Maybe I will get to the top of a mountain and realize how small my problems are’ I thought trying to ease my mind. ‘Maybe the cold weather and warmth of friends will be just what I need. Maybe this is the right thing to do. Maybe I need to get away from you and this town.’
I closed my eyes and tried to let the sound of the plane engine drown out the fact that I didn’t want to leave but had nowhere else to go.