Sexual Misconduct Special Edition

THE

LANCE The Sexual Misconduct Issue

December 7, 2018

Westside High School

Volume 63 Special Edition

[ info ] The Lance is a school-sponsored publication of Westside High School, Westside Community Schools, 8701 Pacific St., Omaha, NE 68144. The Lance office is located in room 251. Phone: (402) 3432650. The Lance is an in-house publication.

The paper is distributed every month to all students, except in vacation periods.

Subscription rates to others are $30 prepaid.

The Lance is printed by White Wolf Web, in Sheldon, IA. Advertising rates are available upon request. The Lance editorial staff reserves the right to edit all ads for clarity and grammatical errors. The editorial staff reserves the right not to publish any ads that are libelous or that contain non-factual information.

The Lance editorial staff also reserves the right to nullify contracts at any time without prior notification. The Lance also refuses ads that promote activities illegal to a majority of the student readership.

Reader response is welcomed in the form of letters to the editor. Letters should be less than 300 words, signed by the author and sent to room 251. Names may be withheld upon special request. Lance editors will decide whether to honor such requests.

The Lance editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for clarity and grammatical errors. The editorial staff also reserves the right to not publish any letters that are libelous or that contain non-factual information.

The Lance is a member of the Nebraska High School Press Association, the Columbia Scholastic Press Association, the National Scholastic Press Association and the Quill & Scroll Society.

The Lance staff recognizes that the administration of Westside Community Schools controls the curriculum and thus, sets the parameters of the production process of school publications. The Lance staff also recognizes its own responsibilities to inform, enlighten and entertain its readers in a way that reflects high standards of journalism, morals and ethics.

Editors-in-Chief Malia Battafarano, Sam Cohen, Julia Steiner, Isabella Tyler; Managing Editors Maryam Akramova, Theo Jansen; Design Editor Elliot Evans; Photo Editors Emma Miller, Emma Rieser; Graphics Editor Abby Schreiber; Copy Editor-in-Chief Reese Pike; Copy Editors Daisy Friedman, Mina Testolin; News Editor Angelina Pattavina; Opinion Editor Natalie Gill; In-depth Editor Meredith Matz; Feature Editor Virginia Jansen; Arts and Entertainment Editor Jane Knudsen; Business Manager Alex Vandenberg; Staff Writers Joe Brunkhorst, Will Christiansen, Eleanor Dodge, Kaelyn Mettler, Luke Steiner, Brooklyn James, Faith Rice, Nolan Spisak, Phil Sokolof, Nicholas Vincentini; Graphic Artists Parker LeFebvre, Angela Li, Brad Griffin, Meghan Maynard, Tommy Sullivan, Graphic designers Vinny Nelson, Luke Steiner; Photographers Ryan Alger, Max Frost, Kenzie Harden, Lydia Kasem;

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Contributors Editors-in-Chief

Managing Editors Design Editor Graphic Editor Opinion Editor

Malia Battafarano Sam Cohen Julia Steiner Isabella Tyler Maryam Akramova Theodore Jansen Elliot Evans Abby Schreiber Natalie Gill

In-Depth Editor A&E Editor Copy Editors Staff Writer Graphic Artists Designer

Meredith Matz Jane Knudsen Reese Pike Daisy Friedman Mina Testolin Eleanor Dodge Meghan Maynard Ryan Alger Vinny Nelson

Letter From the Editors I

n September, Millard South High School’s former assistant principal and athletic director Matt Fedde was arrested for the alledged sexual assault of a 15-year-old female student. In recent months, a staff member at Marian High School faced allegations of sexual misconduct towards another staff member (see page 13). In national news, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wrote a proposal for new rules about the way schools handle sexual harassment and assault allegations (see page 9). The topic of sexual misconduct is all over the media, nationally and locally. Because of this, we felt the issue needed coverage from a high school perspective as well, despite the fact that we published a sexual misconduct in-depth last year.

Sexual misconduct is especially relevant in the context of high school. Unfortunately, sexual misconduct is common among teens. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, females aged 16 to 19 are four times more likely to be victims of sexual assault, rape or attempted rape than the rest of the female population. As a result, we believe it is of the utmost importance that high schoolers are aware of what is encompassed in sexual misconduct in this issue and how it manifests itself in our world. We discuss specifically how sexual misconduct is dealt with at Westside, its portrayal in the news and media and the personal stories of Westside students who have faced sexual misconduct.

As always, please feel free to reach out to us if you have any questions, comments, story ideas or would like to write a letter to the editors. Contact us at any of our emails: battaf121@westside66.net , cohen479@westside66. net, steine558@westside66.net, tyler752@westside66.net.

Sincerely,

Malia Battafarano, Sam Cohen, Julia Steiner and Isabella Tyler

design by elliot evans

[ news ]

S

exual assault and harassment is a problem that is prevalent throughout the United States. However, most cases of sexual assault go unreported. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, about 310 out of 1,000 victims report to the police.

The various reasons for why people do not report sexual assault are long and complicated.

According to individual and family therapist Sheryl Overby, being sexually assaulted or abused has various effects depending on the individual. Overby works with people who have been affected by some form of sexual assault or abuse. Overby said some people push the incident aside and pretend like nothing has happened, whereas some experience serious trauma symptoms. There are people who internalize the event, while some start changing their behavior by possibly abusing drugs or alcohol to try to cope with what has happened.

Just as no two people are exactly alike, no two cases of sexual abuse, or peoples’ reactions to these events, are the same.

According to Overby, one of the reasons people do not report sexual abuse is because they believe the abuse is their fault. People who are abused by the same person multiple times often blame themselves for allowing the abuse to continue.

“Any time anything happens more than one time, you’re going to believe it’s partially your fault,” Overby

said.

According to Overby, talking about any kind of traumatic experience will be extremely difficult for anyone, and sexual assault is no exception.

“It’s so intimate and personal,” Overby said. “It’s sexual

in nature, which is the most intimate parts of your body …

Sharing that for the first time is almost impossible.”

According to Overby, sexual assault is a very sensitive topic. Most people feel uncomfortable speaking about it, especially when it comes to sharing their personal

experience. In all cases that Overby said she has seen, the original stories people told her were not the full story, merely the tip of the iceberg. It usually takes time for the victim to feel comfortable telling the whole story.

“One hundred percent of the time the story has gotten worse,” Overby said “So, it’s, ‘Well, yes, it happened one time’ and then you find out it actually has happened 10 times.”

Overby said other reasons victims do not come forward include fear of what people will think and the victim believing that no form of sexual abuse has happened to them.

“The reason [victims of sexual abuse] don’t come forward is because they don’t think it was a rape to start with,” Overby said. “Because they think that boy had every right to rape them because they were at their house watching a movie, and that because they didn’t fight them off with a stick or something, or because they were drinking that boy had a right to abuse them.”

According to Overby, it is not uncommon for sexual assault to occur where one or both people involved believes that what happened was not sexual assault.

A lot of teenagers do not know what constitutes sexual assault and, on top of that, what constitutes consent.

“If the other person is not really into it, that’s a sign that things are not going well for them,” Overby said. “It’s either painful or they’re not enjoying it. And if they’re not enjoying it, you shouldn’t be doing it. Even if there is consent.”

According to Overby, sexual assault and consent should be a bigger part of school curriculum. It is important for

Statistics according to a nonscientific suvey conducted

by Westside Journalism with 103 participants.

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[ news ] students to fully understand consent as well as know the definition of sexual assault.

According to a non-scientific survey of 103 Westside students, conducted by Lance staff, 75.7 percent of students at Westside feel that they are not taught enough about sexual assault or misconduct in school.

According to guidance counselor Ted Dondlinger, this is an issue that needs more attention.

“By having [sexual assault and abuse] in more open discussions ... I think we’re making it easier for students to come forward,” Dondlinger said.

Dondlinger said he believes that Westside is moving in the right direction by building relationships with their students so they feel more comfortable coming forward about sexual assault. “[I’m] big on building a trust with my students here so that they know that they can come to me with any sort of incident or problem,” Dondlinger said.

Dondlinger emphasized the importance of making sure his students feel that his office is a safe environment for them to come and talk about anything.

According to Principal Jay Opperman, his focus during his time at Westside has been on making the administration more approachable for students.

“I think we’ve done a good job as an administrative team of being out in the building more, talking to students more,” Opperman said. “I think that’s one of the keys to students seeing the administrators as more accessible and willing to share if something is unsafe or concerning.”

Opperman said the school’s system is not perfect, but it has improved over the past three years.

“I’m a realist,” Opperman said. “Some things go unreported, but I also feel that in the three years I’ve been here, students are more willing to approach us.”

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“Just because somebody is found not guilty doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It just means they can’t prove that it happened. It doesn’t mean that your pain is not true.”

Sheryl Overby, therapist

Opperman and Dondlinger both said they want to make sure they are doing everything possible to help students that come forward.

“If things are happening, it’s nice to see the victims coming forward,” Dondlinger said. “And the sooner they come forward, I think the more accurately and quickly it can be dealt with, not only with maybe some prosecution, but more so getting that victim some help.”

Dondlinger said it is his job to help the student deal with what they have experienced, not to decide what is or isn’t true about what happened to them.

“It is not my jurisdiction to determine if it’s false or true,” Dondlinger said. “It is my job to make sure that that [the] student is doing well.”

The first thing Dondlinger said he does after receiving a claim of sexual assault is talk with the student and make sure they are okay, as well as talk to the student’s parents.

“We communicate with parents to find out what they are aware of and making sure that this student is getting assistance and help at home as well,” Dondlinger said.

“If there’s any assistance they need that we can help with, we’ll provide that.”

There is a limit on which health services Dondlinger can provide to students as a school counselor, but he said he does what he can to make sure the student has access to helpful resources.

According to Opperman, it is the guidance counselors’ job to talk with the victim after the incident and help them process what happened.

When it comes to actually investigating the claims made against Westside students and faculty, and deciding what consequences might be put in place, the task falls to the assistant principal and the deans.

Opperman said that when they do receive a sexual misconduct claim of any kind, the first thing administration will do is investigate.

“Just like in a legal sense, we don’t want to say someone automatically has done it just based on an accusation,” Opperman said.

The school’s main method of investigation is interviewing everyone involved, as well as anyone who may have witnessed the event. Opperman said they try to be as thorough as possible and figure out, as best as they can, what really

occurred.

“We are going to act based on what we know,” Opperman said. “We can’t hand out consequences for things we can’t substantiate.”

In the case that administration decides that the claims made are true, they must decide what the consequences will be. These consequences range anywhere from verbal reprimand, detention or short term suspension to expulsion from school and getting the police involved. It all depends on the severity of the individual case.

According to Overby, whether a claim of sexual assault is being investigated by Westside High School or by a judge and jury, no one will get in trouble unless there is proof of what happened. Overby said because of the nature of the crime, there are often no witnesses or physical evidence to back up a claim. In addition to this, due to the high number of cases that go unreported, most perpetrators will never be convicted. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, only six out of every 1,000 rapists will end up in prison.

“The court system is not about the truth,” Overby said.

“It is about what can be proven to be true.”

Despite many cases not ending in a conviction, Overby said people who have been sexually abused should still tell someone about what has happened to them, preferably the authorities.

“I would hope that any school would have experts in to make a good decision and to follow the laws and to notify the authorities,” Overby said. “I believe every accusation needs to be reported to the police.”

Overby said that many people are afraid of going to the police because they don’t want the person who abused them to get in trouble or they fear what their friends and family might think of them. In the less common cases where the incident is reported to the police, the perpetrator is not usually convicted. According to Overby, this can make it difficult for people to heal from the abuse. Many people see attaining justice as a method of healing.

“We need to change that because healing and justice are two completely different things,” Overby said. “Just because somebody is found not guilty doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It just means they can’t prove that it happened. It doesn’t mean that your pain is not true.” story and graphics by eleanor dodge, design by vinny nelson

[news]

statistics from rainn, graphics by eleanor dodge, design by abby schreiber

PARENTING PERSPECTIVE

Teachers share how they approach sexual assault in their parenting Angela Bergman, science instructor—daughter, senior in college; son, senior in high school; son, seventh grade “[For] my daughter, [the conversation] was make sure you’re comfortable, you know, make sure [to] speak up, say no when you need to. But even then I think what happens is in our culture, there’s this thing about girls being nice, and of course she’s old enough that she’s before #MeToo, so she still had experiences when she was in high school and college where she was uncomfortable and didn’t know how to say no, and it wasn’t really until college, sophomore or junior year, until she found her voice ... With my sons, what I really wanted to emphasize with them is consent. I was lucky that, you know, growing up it was always about consent in our house. So, like, you’ll see parents who are just, like, “no you have to do this” like “go give that person a hug, go give them a high five” because that’s the polite thing to do … I’ve always given my kids choices, even when I was buying them clothes … It’s been about consent but then it’s flipping that for them as they enter dating and relationships. You have to ask for consent. Even my daughter, we talked about [how] she has to ask for consent. That’s the piece I think that’s missing in our culture is being able to allow for the other person to be able to have choices.”

Ted Dondlinger, guidance counselor—son, sophomore in college; son, senior in high school; son, freshman in high school “I think a lot of [my wife’s and my] parenting is by modeling that relationship at home and just making sure that every moment, we are showing respect for each other and showing respect for our boys. If there is confusion, if there are questions, making sure that it is an open environment for them to ask questions, letting them know it’s always safe for them to ask questions. And, you know, talking about some of the tough things that they read in the paper or they read on Twitter or things like that.”

Jay Opperman, principal—son, 24; daughter, 22; son, senior in high school; daughter, freshman in high school “[My wife’s and my strategy has] been [to] coach how do you make good decisions, who do you put yourself around, what do you communicate, and then a part of that communication is that we’ve always given our children, if they’re in any unsafe situation, we try to provide them some strategies of things they can say or things they can text us to help them escape unsafe situations ... [My wife and I have] probably talked with our boys a little more [than our daughters] about their responsibility and respect for women and what an appropriate relationship and what contact is. I think it’s a similar talk to both but I think the slant is as a guy, I guess as parents, we have an expectation that you’re being respectful and to not ever put a female in a [bad] position.”

interviews by malia battafarano, design by abby schreiber

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[ in-depth ]

Education at Every Age Health instructors discuss curriculum E

ven the youngest students in Westside receive instruction regarding sexual misconduct. The sensitivity attached to this topic has formed differences in the curriculum between levels of schooling.

In elementary school, students begin to learn how to keep themselves safe. Students don’t get into the details of sexual misconduct during this time, but they do learn about the danger of strangers and avoiding abusive situations. These classes start in kindergarten.

“Our objectives [in kindergarten and first grade] are to help students differentiate between a stranger and trusted adults, understand the importance of trusting their feelings when a situation isn’t right and identify ways to communicate to protect personal safety,” Sarah Lieske, Paddock Road guidance counselor, said.

The curriculum gets more detailed by grade level and expands on helping the students know how to protect themselves. The curriculum comes from Children’s Hospital and the teachers access the curriculum through HealthTeacher.com.

In middle school, students are taught about sexual misconduct during health classes in eighth grade. Melissa Jackson is one of the health

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instructors.

“We discuss the definition of rape, about how no means no and if the word or something similar is said at anytime, all sexual contact must stop immediately,” Jackson said.

The curriculum also focuses on other things including social media and appropriate ways to use it. It also emphasizes that sexting or sharing nude pictures is not appropriate behavior for middle school students.

Jackson said she believes that teaching about sexual misconduct is very important because of the complexities of the issue. It is important for students learn about how everyone has different boundaries and that what is okay for one person might not be okay for another.

“Why wouldn’t we teach about sexual misconduct?” Jackson said. “Students need to understand that there are boundaries and that actions we do today can and will come back to haunt us in the future.”

In high school, students learn about sexual misconduct in Healthy Living.

Brody Schmaderer is one of the instructors.

“We only spend about two classes on sexual assault, a large group and a small group,” Schmaderer said.

“We cover what it is, what it looks like and the different types.

The different types of sexual violence we cover are sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual assault of a child and incest.”

High school students also learn about sexual misconduct in their guidance classes. In sophomore guidance, students get a visit from law enforcement officers to learn about the dangers of sexting and sharing nude pictures.

This is Schmaderer’s first year at Westside, and he hasn’t yet taught the curriculum, but he said he likes what he sees.

“From what I have prepared, I think the content touches a lot of the main issues that students might see in our society today,” Schmaderer said.

story by theo jansen, graphic by ryan alger and design by sam cohen

[ news ]

DeVos Rewrites the Rules Education Secretary proposes revised rules about sexual misconduct A

ccording to The Washington Post, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has released her draft of the rewritten sexual assault and harassment rules, which fall under Title IX. Title IX, according to the U.S. Department of Education, protects people based on sex in educational programs or activities that receive federal funding. These rules were proposed just after Thanksgiving.

These new rules will affect college students, but also apply to primary and secondary schools. Sexual harassment is now defined by the education department as “unwelcome conduct on the basis of sex that is so severe, pervasive and objectively offensive that it denies a person access to the school’s education program or activity.” Previously, under the Obama administration, sexual harassment was defined in the broader terms of “unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature.”

One of the main changes is that universities would have to allow the accused to cross-examine their accuser. Previously, this was discouraged by the Obama administration. Cross-examination is the interrogation of the accuser by the accused. However, in the new rules, an attorney or adviser rather than the accused would do the questioning. Both parties also have the option of sitting in separate rooms. At hearings, there would be bans on different questions, such as those about the accuser’s sexual history. Hearings are optional for K-12 students.

According to The Washington Post, an administration

official said the cross-examination regulation was created to bolster the rights of the accused, something that has been praised by men’s rights groups.

According to Vicki Londer, the head of the guidance department, the situation is problematic.

“I don’t like that at all,” Londer said. “To me it just puts the victim more in a victim’s role. If the college isn’t going to follow through on their concerns, where does the student go if something happens? I just think that’s a huge risk.”

DeVos has actively been trying to give more rights to those who are accused since taking office, according to The Washington Post. She said she believes that the previous system has “failed the accused.”

Another change is that the Department of Education says a school has the option to offer support for the accuser instead of an investigation. The department would consider obligations met if action is taken this way. If there is an informal complaint, the school has an obligation to go through with offering support, but will not have to investigate. According to The Washington Post, support will include accommodations such as schedule changes or new housing. In elementary and secondary schools, even if the victim does not want a formal complaint filed, the school still might have the responsibility to do so. This would be to protect younger students. Under the previous rules, the school or university had to investigate the claim

to help resolve the issue.

If a situation over sexual misconduct or assault occurs, Londer said she always gets the student resource officer involved. She said the new rules could prevent that from happening.

“It would put schools in a huge disadvantage in the liability issues and the legal issues [if the new rules are implemented],” Londer said. “We would probably just put a support team together and talk to the student and call a parent and provide support. If they don’t want to file charges or have an investigation, that’s their decision.

It’s always their decision but, especially if it’s a student in the building that had maybe assaulted them, that could be a safety issue for other students.”

According to USA Today, some have hailed the new rules for providing clarity. Others, such as National Women’s Law Center, have criticized the draft, saying that it would be damaging to survivors of sexual assault.

The new rules will be available for the public to comment on for 60 days after they’re published on the Federal Register.

“I think we always have to keep in mind that we have to get information,” Londer said. “We cannot make an assumption that it did or didn’t happen. You have to be able to ask questions and get the experts involved. For a school to be responsible for all of that is very nervewracking.”

story by maryam akramova, graphic by jane knudsen, design by julia steiner

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[ feature ]

Just Some Work Friends Student tells personal story of sexual harassment

I

like to think our lives are made of small stories, little chapters, that shape who we are but do not define us.

There is a chapter of my life I want to share with you.

This isn’t some grand declaration or a story with a theme and inspiring message. It is what it is: a look into my personal life and a chance for me to have my voice heard.

It started in the summer. I had a part-time job and later became friends with some of my coworkers. One of them in particular, since we often worked together, I got to know better. We went to different schools, but liked to complain about the same things at work: creepy workers, rude customers and overbearing bosses. However, we never became anything more than just some work friends — at least in my mind. Once the summer ended, we mainly stayed in contact through Snapchat. However, it was pretty minimal.

One Saturday in October, I was in my room doodling and texting my friends. I saw the notification pop up on the top of my screen. It was a snap from him. “Cool,” I thought, but when I opened it, it was a picture of his genitalia. Not cool. I felt surprised with a healthy amount of disgust mixed in. Why would he send this? I shot a reply back to him, asking if this was for the wrong person and to keep it in his pants. He told me not to tell anybody about it.

I thought that was the end of it.

On Nov. 4, I went to volunteer. He was still working at the place I volunteered at. We saw each other and I greeted him, asking how school was going and catching up, trying to be friendly. I thought the previous incident was behind us.

We wandered through the gift shop, and in the corner he turned to me. I remember feeling uneasy. He was so much taller than me and had a sort of leer on his face.

He grabbed my arms tight. His fingers were digging in.

I’m startled. “What is he doing?” I thought. His face got bigger and bigger because it was lowering towards mine.

I think he said, “You’re so cute.”

All I could focus on were his eyes. They seemed to burn and I was scared. Powerless. I couldn’t get out of his grasp and he was hurting me.

“Stop. No. What are you doing?” I asked him. He didn’t stop. His face gets closer and closer, swallowing up my vision.

I turned and twisted. He couldn’t keep his hands on me; I was moving too much. I wanted to turn into an eel and slip away so he couldn’t keep touching me. I wanted to scream at him, ‘what were you thinking? What were you doing?’ But, I saw the people around me and I didn’t want to cause a commotion. I finally got out of his grasp

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because I was moving around so much.

I didn’t say anything about it, and neither did he.

Later I told my friends about it, laughing and giggling.

We all agreed he’s an idiot. They smiled because I smiled.

It wasn’t a big deal to me at the time. It was just a funny story.

According to guidance counsleor Lindsey Stover people go through things in various ways, making this type of reaction not unusual.

“People process things differently,” said Stover.

“Grief. Shock. Anger. All happen at different times. Just because you process it differently than somebody else

doesn’t mean it’s not normal.”

Sometimes, though, I would find myself seized with little bits of panic. Sometimes, I would find myself getting angry at him, at everything. Sometimes, I would still feel the fingers digging into my arm.

Here’s the thing; to some people it wouldn’t seem like such a big deal. It didn’t to me either, at first. But it wasn’t the acts that he committed, it was the way I felt during and after them. Nobody should ever feel like they aren’t in control of their body. I told him no and he should’ve listened.

On the morning of Nov. 16, I was groggy, standing in

the shower. The rivulets of water fell down my back and my face, into my eyes. For some reason, my mind drifted back to what happened. The scene flashed in my eyes, almost like a disjointed animation. I wasn’t laughing this time.

Anger filled up every part of me. How dare he. Who gave him the right to make me feel so helpless? And why? The “why” seemed to echo in my mind, bouncing off the different parts of my skull. I wanted to grab his arms, shake him and ask why. That day, I decided to tell my story.

I told the counselors, Officer Kilgore and my parents what happened. Recounting the story over and over again was the worst part because I could see his face so clearly.

I would like to thank my counselor and Officer Kilgore. Their calmness and reassurance felt like a rock in a storm, keeping me grounded.

In the end, I question my decision but I don’t regret sharing my story. What if I was overreacting? What if I was wrong? What if, what if questions still plague my mind. However, if he did this to me, someone he didn’t really know, he could be doing it to others. If I helped at least one other girl or guy to not feel the way I felt, then it was worth it. It was worth telling others so someone else wouldn’t have to go through the same experience.

“You feel like now you’re the cause of somebody else’s problems, even though they’re the instigator,” Stover said. “And they caused the issue in the first place.

It’s that guilt of well ‘I made this bad for somebody else.’

It’s pretty typical feeling and that’s why some people don’t come forward. They don’t want anything bad to happen.”

Being able to control our lives is so important because it’s fundamentally human. When someone takes it away, it’s because they are weak. Cowards. The only way they think they can feel powerful is by stealing it from others. What my ex-coworker did may not be sexual harassment or misconduct as defined under legal terms, but my feelings during the time can’t be taken away. I was scared and uncomfortable. I know how I felt about what he did and that’s what made it not okay.

This chapter of my life is concluding, with this story being my farewell. It has changed me as a person. I feel like something’s been stolen. There’s a hollowness that wasn’t there before. But, despite the emptiness, I won’t go silent. I can’t. If I have the opportunity to speak up when someone else doesn’t, I’ll do it for them and for me.

My voice will not be silenced.

story by anonymous, graphic by vinny nelson, design by sam cohen

Here in Our Halls

[ feature ]

Girl shares experience of sexual assault

A

ccording to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, there are an average of 321,500 victims (over the age of 12) of rape or sexual assault each year. Jane* was just one of those victims. This is her story.

About a year ago, Jane started talking to a guy. They had never hung out together, so they decided to meet up one mod at school on the staircase that starts by the band and orchestra rooms and goes up next to the Little Theater.

“It was the first time we were, like, hanging out and we started, like, kissing and then he stuck his hand down my pants and I grabbed it, pulled it out, and said, ‘No,’ I didn’t want to do that yet, and we continued kissing and he did it two more times with me still saying ‘No,’” Jane said. “And the last time I kind of just gave up.”

What Jane experienced is classified as sexual assault, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, as it was “unwanted sexual touching.” Jane said in the moment she was uncomfortable with what the boy was doing.

“I kind of just wanted to knee him in the nuts and run away, to be honest,” Jane said.

After the incident, Jane said she developed a different outlook.

“At first, I was really curious about sex because I was a virgin at the time and, like, I haven’t done any of that stuff, so I was really curious, so it was like, ‘Oh yeah, that happened to me! Yay, that happened,’” Jane said.

However, when Jane opened up to her friend about it, she began to realize how wrong it had been for the boy to touch her without her consent.

“I told [my best friend] kind of just because she knew something was going to go on that mod, and she was kind of curious what happened, so I told her,” Jane said. “And she was the one who was kind of like, ‘Um, that’s not right. He shouldn’t have done that,’ because it didn’t click in my mind at first. I didn’t realize that it was actually not a good thing, so that’s kind of why I didn’t tell anybody else.”

Jane said she struggled to shift her mindset and understand what had happened to her for the remainder of the year. Her friend tried to help her through that process. “[My friend] kind of tried to keep me away from him the best that she could,” Jane said. “She was just there to support

me through it. Then after that, I was kind of, like, [on a] downward spiral emotionally, so she was just kind of there through most of it for me.”

According to Jane, the incident has affected her outlook on sexual experiences.

“That year, I was kind of more open about sexual stuff, but now that I realize, like, ‘Hey, that wasn’t right what happened to me,’ I’m kind of more reserved than I was [then],” Jane said.

As for the boy, Jane stopped hanging out with him after that incident, but he still goes to Westside. She said she often sees him around school.

“It makes me gag every time I see him in the hallway, to be honest,” Jane said. “I just kind of wish he didn’t go here anymore. I also kind of wish I would have told somebody when it happened, because then maybe he wouldn’t be here still.”

Jane said she still considers telling an authority figure about it, hoping they would take action toward the boy.

“The pros [of telling an authority figure what happened to me] would be it’d be the right thing to do, and he wouldn’t force other girls because, like, everybody would know, ‘Hey, he did this to somebody. Got to be careful around him,’” Jane said. “And maybe he would even get suspended or expelled from school.”

According to Jane, however, there are drawbacks to reporting the assault as well, and they have kept her from taking action on it.

“The cons would be, since it happened last year, it’s kind of, like, ‘Well, why did you wait this long to tell?’ or ‘How can we believe you since you made it so long?’ All that other stuff that so many women have been going through, nowadays, coming forward,” Jane said. “It’s like, ‘Well, this happened, this happened, you gave your consent, so they should have your consent, blah, blah, blah,’ you know what I mean? It kind of doesn’t even matter what the woman is saying.”

The growing national conversation about sexual assault has empowered many women across the nation to come forward with their experiences, despite the drawbacks Jane pointed out. Jane said she has felt this empowerment, but she still has concerns.

“Honestly, it kind of makes me happy that so many … men and women are coming out about their horrible experiences and people are actually paying attention to it nowadays, so that makes me more confident that if I did tell somebody I wouldn’t get shamed for it, but at the same time if I do tell somebody, I don’t want them to be like, ‘Oh, you’re lying. I know that person. He’s a great person,’” Jane said. “Which is, again, still happening a lot, especially with how many more people are coming out about it.”

Jane said she isn’t sure if the boy knew what he was doing to her was wrong, but it just didn’t seem to matter to him that she was not comfortable with his actions. She advises other couples to always keep their partner’s consent and comfortability with the situation in mind.

“Just because you have consent once does not mean that the consent goes for everything all the time,” Jane said. “That’s not how consent works. You need consent if it’s the first kiss or the hundredth kiss. The other person should always, always be willing to do it back or else it’s completely wrong.”

Jane also had advice for others like her who have experienced sexual misconduct.

“Definitely come forward and tell somebody, anybody,” Jane said. “It will definitely be easier if you tell somebody and not just go through it alone.” *Jane is a pseudonym for a student who wished to remain anonymous.

tgraphic by meghan maynard, story and design by malia battafarano

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[ opinion ]

Switching the Stigma B

Victims should not be silenced

ridget Kelly is a Duchesne Academy alumni. Kelly used to be a teacher in Fort Hood, Texas when she was 24 years old. On July 21, 2002, a man forcefully knocked on her door at 3:30 in the morning, robbed her, abducted her, raped her in a field, shot her three times and left her there to die. Kelly was able to crawl to a nearby house after playing dead when the attacker left the scene. She knocked on a stranger’s door for help while in a fetal position on the front porch. A man answered the door and called 911. Rescue squads, police officers and an ambulance came and brought Kelly back to a hospital, where she remained in surgery for six hours in critical condition.

After the surgery, Kelly was not able to speak.

Mike Kelly, Bridget Kelly’s father and a writer for the Omaha World-Herald during the time of Bridget Kelly’s traumatic experience, told her about the news coverage as she lay in bed in the hospital. One report, not naming Bridget Kelly, said that a 24-year-old school teacher was raped, shot three times and in critical condition.

However, another report said that Bridget Kelly, from Omaha, was abducted and shot three times.

“What did they leave out?” Mike Kelly, now retired, said in an interview conducted last month. “Rape.

That was the policy and, really, that is still the policy.

Basically, the reason for the policy is to not link the name of the victim, the survivor, with the word rape.”

Back in her hospital room, Bridget Kelly motioned for Mike Kelly’s notebook and wrote in it, “Why is it more shameful to be a rape victim than to be a gunshot victim?”

The stigma on sexual assault survivors is wrong. Our society tends to put the stigma on the victim rather than the attacker. This is unfair to the victim, who is not at fault for what has happened.

After her recovery, Bridget Kelly did multiple interviews, which received a tidal wave of responses.

Soon, her story went national, and she selected ABC to do her biggest interview. According to Mike Kelly, Bridget Kelly believes that there shouldn’t be a stigma on the victim. The stigma should only be on the attacker.

“God does not want rape and neither does our society,” Mike Kelly said in his story about

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his daughter, “A Plea for More Openness on Rape,” published in the Omaha World-Herald in July 2005.

“And yet, it continues, and we rarely talk about it.”

It has become so common in our society for sexual assault not to be reported. “Why didn’t you speak up?” is a common question in our communities after someone is sexually assaulted. There’s no standard way for someone to come out after being sexually assaulted. Sometimes it’s a police phone call, sometimes it’s talking to a therapist and sometimes it’s years, or a lifetime, of silence. Every situation and how it is handled is different for every individual.

Fear is a heavy factor in sexual assault victims’ decision not to come forward, according to Sheryl Overby, an individual and family therapist. Overby said that victims sometimes decide to stay silent due to the fear that nobody will believe them, nothing will result of it or simply that it will be embarrassing to them.

However, this is where our societal norms are flawed.

Victims of sexual assault should not have to fear lack of action, lack of belief or lack of support when coming out about sexual assault. The way society has handled situations like these in the past could be a factor in why victims do not come forward.

“I don’t use the word victim because I don’t believe anybody should be labeled by what has been done to them,” Overby said. “It’s an event, it’s not who they are.

It’s just one part of their life.”

Three out of four sexual assault situations are not reported, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). This means that 75 percent of sexual assaults go unheard, unreported and unnoticed by the police.

In Omaha, a federal lawsuit claims that Omaha Public Schools ignored signs of Brian Robeson, middle school teacher, sexually assaulting a student in 2014. According to the lawsuit, Robeson was seen hugging the girl, picking her up, being in his classroom alone with her with the lights off and doors locked, driving her

to and from school and leaving school on days she was absent. According to the Omaha World-Herald, faculty reported these suspicious actions and the administration did nothing about it. Robeson is now serving 40 years in prison after pleading guilty to first-degree sexual assault involving a female student in his homeroom. Robeson was fired after his arrest in 2015. Robeson later pleaded guilty in January of 2016.

When people choose not to report sexual assault due to the stigma on sexual assault survivors, the perpetrator is left in the open and is able to possibly harm more victims. The situation that happened at Omaha Public Schools is only one of many sexual misconduct situations that go unreported or ignored. Due to the stigma on survivors, sometimes they choose not to come forward, which can lead to more sexual assaults.

There have been numerous recent accusations nationwide that have gone ignored or unnoticed, and the stigma should not be on the survivor, it should be on the attacker. Bridget Kelly endured an experience that nobody should have to endure. Bridget Kelly did not deserve to feel silenced by other people, because what happened to her is her story to tell and to decide how to tell it. This goes for anyone who has been sexually assaulted.

Nobody should be silenced.

story by meredith matz, graphic and design by julia steiner

[ opinion ]

Breaking the Silence Marian students speak out about recent allegations

In our last issue, we briefly detailed the recent sexual misconduct allegations regarding Marian High School faculty members. To follow on that story, on Nov. 15, we attempted to contact the accuser of the detailed incident, as well as Marian administration members on Dec. 4. The accuser did not respond to our request for an interview and Marian administration members requested that we follow their official media statement, which stated, “While we cannot comment on personnel matters specifically, we can share that Marian acted swiftly and appropriately in meeting both its legal and ethical obligations in this regard.” Relying on knowledge from connections within the Marian community, we understand that Marian students or staff who speak out about this incident may face consequences. As proponents of freedom of speech, we felt obliged to reach out to Marian students and to provide a platform for their voices to be heard (albeit anonymously).

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hat do you do when you feel unsafe in the place that you spend the majority of your time each and every day? What do you do when you feel that way, and no adult is there to help you? These are two questions that have plagued the halls of Marian High School since the day instructor, we will call her “Bridget,”* resigned.

A beloved instructor, an ally to students and a prominent member of the Marian community, her resignation did not go unnoticed. In her absence, rumors abounded, backed by ever-elusive semi-credible sources. With no way to uncover the truth, Marian students, our peers, were left afraid and confused.

In the months following Bridget’s unexplained resignation, students felt apprehensive and uncertain and searched for answers that weren’t being given.

The administration and instructors did not comment on Bridget’s resignation. The taboo nature of the situation always prompted instructors to ignore or divert conversation. This happened in part because most teachers admitted they were just as in the dark as students were. With the lack of information, suspicion and fear arose in our halls. Adults’ insistence that this resignation, three days after the school year began, was just a “resignation,” did not satisfy students’ need for explanation.

The rumors that began to swim around were different, but they all had one thing in common: the role of sexual harassment at the hands of a Marian employee, who we will call “Meghan.”* Some of the rumors painted vivid pictures of physical assault and others described more placid scenes of domestic squabbles and workplace harassment. Regardless, a potential predator remained employed by Marian and no one seemed to mind.

As conversation echoed in the halls, the students’ bias was obvious. To the two of us, even before accusations arose, Bridget was a beloved instructor and Meghan was an angry, fear-mongering tyrant who roamed the halls making girls feel targeted and marginalized. Meghan was prone to raising her voice at girls, calling them out specifically for being out of uniform or simply wearing

their natural hair. What students perceived as her blatant lack of respect garnered little respect from them in return. Students obeyed her solely due to her terrifying manner of discipline. Based on these prior displays of her perceived character, many students were unsurprised by the allegations that surfaced, but never stooped to the level of outright accusation. Hungry for answers, some students cited information from anonymous board members or ex-faculty who had worked alongside both women but, for months, the reason why Bridget left was only speculation.

Finally, on Oct. 16, Bridget posted a tweet attempting to clarify the questions students had been pondering for months. Despite the negativity the tweet alluded to, students were relieved to just hear something. Those mere 61 characters provided more information than we had been given in months, displaying a respect for the student body’s right to be informed that many felt was sorely lacking from adults in our building.

In the wake of the tweet, students scrambled for other sources of information, ways to support Bridget and methods to provoke internal change. What resulted was a far cry from what most students desired. They wanted to be taken seriously. There were drafts of letters to our board of directors and to the administration requesting that information be shared with students. They wanted to take action for our own safety and morals. As strongminded, intelligent leaders guided by faith, Marian has taught us to be self-advocators and agents for positive change. We wanted to use our voices according to those principles, and we wanted Marian to hear us. A petition started by an alumnus, which called for Meghan’s termination, while a valiant effort to stand up for the student body, stole current students’ voices and belittled their integrity. Instead of using fact to evoke change, it attested to the author’s clear bias against Meghan without any substantial evidence to reinforce its claims.

We, the anonymous authors of this article and many other members of the student body, wanted information, not to blindly accuse without proper investigation. We

wanted to know if we were safe at school. We wanted to know that the administration cared about our safety and the safety of our instructors. This petition made us seem like gullible and petty schoolgirls who believed each and every rumor that littered our hallways without any evidence.

Marian students received a brief and vague statement from the administration on Nov. 9 that answered none of our questions. Though students are sympathetic to the complexities of the legal system, we continue, to this day, to feel undervalued in comparison to the reputation of the school.

The Marian student body wants to be taken seriously.

We want to be respected for being the people Marian has taught us to be. We are not confident, independentthinking leaders only when it suits administration, we are confident independent-thinking leaders always. All we are asking for is transparency. We feel we have a right to know if we are safe in the institution that many of us call our second home. We have a right to know that that institution is worthy of our money and respect, that it treats its instructors and students with the utmost dignity.

Perhaps we are asking for too much; to be given a voice comparable to a board member or a large donor is unlikely for a mere teenager. Every day when we enter our building, we trust that Marian will protect us, but when our own safety is at stake and no one else will advocate for us, we will do it for ourselves.

We have to do it for ourselves.

*Bridget and Meghan are pseudonyms for Marian faculty members who we chose to keep anonymous. story by two anonymous marian students, graphic by abby schreiber, design by isabella tyler

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[ opinion ]

Did She Put Up a Fight?

How casualties in the media can affect real-life victims

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young man is sitting under a table, looking around legs and brushing against knees. He notices one girl’s legs aren’t crossed and she is wearing a skirt.

Without her permission or knowledge, he sticks his face in between her thighs. All of that is disturbing, but this is an exact recount of a scene in John Hughes’ classic “The Breakfast Club.” The character who did this, John Bender, is not punished for this harassment — he is rewarded, as he kisses this young woman by the end of the movie.

This is just one of countless examples of sexual harassment (groping, unsolicited comments, even rape) in media being treated in a casual manner.

In “1984” by George Orwell, the character Winston Smith informs his love interest that he wanted to rape

of today’s society, these cartoons are being presented as they were originally created, because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed.”

So, the ‘product of its time’ defense can be a perfectly valid one. Media from the past that depict shameful parts of history should be preserved to remember that they depictions were wrong then and are wrong today.” That goes without saying. The context of this statement is cartoons that came out in the early days of American animation. What’s problematic about the statement is that it implies that the problem has been completely solved, as if racism was some piece of early American culture that we should acknowledge, but we know better

“My Sharona” by The Knack is about the lead singer lusting after a 16-year-old and it doesn’t seem like those who listen to the song are willing to talk about it.

In the movie “Grease,” there is the infamous line, “Did questions about his summer love. In “Golden Girls,” a rather progressive show for its time, Dorothy talks about how she thinks her ex-husband put something in her drink and had sex with her on their prom night. This situation is presented as a big laugh. To understand the importance of how sexual harassment is presented in pop culture, one has to present the examples and ask, why did these writers think this was okay?

It’s easy to chalk these pieces of media up as products of their time, saying that the writers “didn’t know any better.” Sometimes, marking a piece of media as a product of its time is perfectly valid.

Old cartoons were rampant with racial stereotypes, characters in blackface and several examples of the “mammy” stereotype, a stereotype which expands upon the expectation that black women ought to serve white families. Some companies don’t address these products of their time, simply removing them in future releases (see “Fantasia” (1940), in which a minstrel stereotype is seen clumsily serving her white masters.). Some companies choose to leave these pieces in so that they can exist as fragments of history, showing to audiences how prevalent racism was during the before some of their products, stating “(t)he cartoons you are about to see are products of their time. They may depict some of the ethnic and racial prejudices that were commonplace in American society. These depictions were wrong then and are wrong today. While the following does not represent the Warner Bros. view

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Unfortunately, the “product of its time” argument doesn’t quite apply in the cases stated before, those involving the careless way in which sexual assault is dealt with.

Most of the media referenced earlier in this article is from the 1980s. We are looking back on it through a 2018 lens, but only some of us offer the “Thank God we’re past that” point of view. We can’t say “Thank God we’re past that” because we’re not completely past making jokes out of victims of sexual assault.

“My Sharona” is still the same summer anthem. “My Sharona,” a song about a man who can “always get it up” for a minor more than a decade his junior continues to be played in swimming pools and shopping malls, sending the message to underage girls that they give older men erections, and this is acceptable. We shouldn’t act as though these pieces of media don’t exist. We just need to acknowledge that they do exist, and that’s a problem. At several points, writers have taken the topic of sexual harassment and made the choice to treat it lightly. They sexualized minors, decided to treat victims as jokes, made men heroes for harassment. These were not accidents.

“Thank God we’re past that” is a false statement.

We, as an American society have moved past blackface, but it’s naive to think that we are in a postracial society. It’s precisely the same for misogyny.

We have not moved past playing rape for laughs, so of course we are not in a post-sexism society. You can assume that, in 1927, audiences went to see “The Jazz Singer,” a movie in which a man performs in it was a charming, wonderful piece. Decades later, when some came to the realization that it was not, those in the original audience protested these “new” they were. This would not come to be an individual occurrence. In 1978, audiences saw “Grease”, heard

now. It makes the assumption that these portrayals haven’t left their skid marks on current media. No, no modern cartoon will be as bad as “Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs,” (an actual Warner Bros. cartoon released as late as 1943) but ugly pieces of history still rear their heads, disguising themselves as acceptable.

That statement was issued a few decades after the cartoons were published. American citizens and Warner Bros. producers all looked at the referenced “products of and Andy broadcasts, and they would shudder. They would cringe and say “Thank God we’re past that.”

it. New audiences protested, and the original audiences decided that this generation was “just too sensitive.”

Careless portrayal of sexual assault is damaging for victims. Media (and art) is meant to be an escape, and it’s indescribably upsetting to escape from a world where victims don’t have power into another world where victims don’t have power. If America wants to be a progressive society, we have to do a better job of acknowledging harmful things, even if they show up in media that holds sentiment for us.

story and graphic by jane knudsen, design by elliot evans

Aiding Victims

[ news ]

Heartland Family Service helps the victims of sexual assault

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ith the issue of sexual assault and domestic violence becoming more prevalent authorities contact our crisis line, and then we have advocates go out and visit with the in our society today, people need to know the resources that are available to survivors immediately to let them know about the resources available,” Conley said. them. Heartland Family Service is a non-profit organization that has been According to Conley, the advocate team educates the victims about the legal system helping people in need in the Omaha metro since 1875. and what will happen to them in that process. The team has proved to be beneficial The organization offers 50 programs that provide critical to the survivors because it helps them get directed to therapists and human services ranging from the sexual assault and domestic shelters available to them. abuse program to its homeless prevention and homeless shelters Candace Babutzke is the current therapist for the sexaul assault “Our mission across the city. and domestic violence division at Heartland Family Service. She is to strengthen The Heartland Family Service domestic violence and sexual helps her clients with processing and coping with the trauma individuals and abuse division was created by three churches in the early from their experiences of abuse.

1980s. The churches saw a need in the Omaha community. At Babutzke, who has been at Heartland Family Service for the families in our that time, there was nothing like it in the area. last four years, works closely with law enforcement, victim community through “Our mission is to strengthen individuals and families in services and other sexual assault and domestic abuse agencies our community through education, support, and counseling in Omaha. education, support, services. We assist individuals with a safe place to live on a “I’d say the hardest thing about being a therapist is seeing my and counseling permanent basis versus just in our shelter and connect them to clients going through difficult times especially after the trauma services.” resources in our community to make them safer,” said Dawn has occurred (to them),” Babutzke said. “We get a lot of referrals Conley, director of the sexual and domestic abuse division. through the court system where the offender is getting criminal Director of the The organization has developed a wide span of options for charges. Going through the court process can be retraumatizing sexual and domestic victims. These include a 24-hour crisis line, a shelter for up for the victim.” to 20 male and female victims, support groups, therapy and More than 50,000 people were served by Heartland Family abuse division Dawn transitional housing, according to Conley. services last year.

Conley Heartland Family Service also provides a program called “I think the most important thing to consider is what our Outreach Advocates for assult victims. With this program, community would look like without it (Heartland),” said they have helped over 1,000 people this year.

Melinda Eames, community engagement manager.

“If law enforcement shows up to a sexual assault or a domestic violence call, or if someone shows up at the hospital and it happens in Sarpy or Cass County, the

Resources: National Sexual Assault Hotline Call 1-800-656-4673 Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Visit www.rainn. org for a safe, confidential service. story by will christiansen, graphics by julia steiner and meghan maynard, design by kenzie harden

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