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FELICIA LEE
Contributing Writers Alice Mills Mary Eisenacher Linda Mhlanga Shelly Wilson Shana Strange Jarna Kantaria sherry Eaton Yolanda Sherman
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08 Game Changer- Editor's Desk - Mucha 20 Cover Story - Felicia Lee 28 Feature - Spiritual Atmosphere - Mary Eisenacher 34 Journey Within - Jarna Kantaria 38 Giving words to love - Jarna Kantaria 42 Breathing by Faith - Linda Mhlanga 50 Escaping the comparison trap - Shana Strange 54 Importance o Sisterhood - Sherry Eaton 62 Paving the Path - Dr Yolanda Sherman
DEAR WOMAN
Are you a game changer?
I have always loved writing stories as a child, it gave me a chance to go into my fantasy world and create characters and their personalities. It was some form of escape from what I considered to be boring chores and things that I thought where no brainers. Reading and writing became my solace. Today, as I write, I would like to ask you one question: Are you a game changer? Webster defines it as, ‘’an event, idea, or procedure that effects a significant shift in the current way of doing or thinking about something.’’ There are so many women who have been game changers before and during our time.
Thesee game changers defied the norm and took a stand for what they believed in. I believe that God wants to raise game changers that will represent him and his kingdom for who he is. The story of Rosa Parks is one that has inspired many. I sometimes wonder what Rosa Parks went through as she made a stand and refused to move from the ‘’colored’’ section of the bus, to give place to a white person. She must have experienced racial segregation so many times that on that particular day, she had had enough and stood up for what she believed in.
‘’The time had just come when I had been pushed as far as I could stand to be pushed, I suppose. I had decided that I would have to know, once and for all, what rights I had as a human being and a citizen.’’ -Rosa Parks-
So, never give up just because someone else failed. Let your voice be used to bring liberty to those that are in need. Her act of defiance became a turning point in the Civil Rights Movement and she became a game changer. The US Congress later called her "the first lady of civil rights" and "the mother of the freedom movement". Game Changers always stand for a cause. Rosa became a voice for racial justice in her time. By refusing to move, she disturbed the current state of doing things and as a result, gave others the courage to do the same. For the record, Rosa was not the first black woman to do this. Two women before her had done it before, yet Rosa became the one who would be the first lady of the Civil Rights Movement.
There are many game changers in the bible. Sarah, Rebecca, Rahab, Mary the Mother of Jesus to mention a few. They came, they saw and they changed the rules.
What are you passionate about? God is calling you to be a game changer! It makes everything amazing, that God is actually the biggest game changer of all times! He trusted no one else to do his job, only his Son Jesus Christ. Whatever you are passionate about, you will first have to do it yourself. God has a plan for you..
game changer
One of my daughtersr loves to cook . She started doing that at an early age. When she walks into my kitchen, she changes the way food is cooked and presented, making it a treat for us everytime she is home. That is her passion.
Elisha's response was, Tell me, what do you have in the house?" (2 Kings 4:2). He changed her world, not just for her and her sons, but for generations to come!
You don’t have to change ‘the’ world,, but you can start by changing ‘your’ world.
Instead of her and her sons being slaves to the creditors, they were free to become whom God called them to be.
I love the story of The Prophet Elisha who used a basic principle to save a widow who had begged him for help. Her changed the rules of the ''game'' r course of events.
I pray that you recognise what God has given you, and your household.
Her late husband had left their family in debt, and his creditors were coming to enslave her and her sons as payment for their debts.
Grab it, run with it and become a blessing to many-
You are a precious asset in the Master’s hands..
There will be hiccups along the way as a game changer, but you will overcome if you do not give up- press on!
-Mucha-
It is once you’ve endured rejection that you then will be a vessel used to embrace others. For the deep wound stirred up compassion so that others may be heard by you. It is the heart who has felt always lacking assistance and support that soon becomes God’s assistant to help others become all He created them to be. The listening ear was tuned by the struggles of the heart. The seeing eye was given clarity through tears that washed them by His Spirit.
The very man or woman who has endured dishonor will become a vessel that honors Christ in others understanding fully the need to be seen.
The child of God shoved to the side to sit alone becomes a deep well with Jesus in the solitary confinement. Soon fountains emerge that spill onto other needy hearts with a love taught fully in the isolation. The dreamer once silenced by mockery becomes the catalyst by which Christ births others into their harvest fields. For he, or she, can now teach endurance. The very man or woman who has endured dishonor will become a vessel that honors Christ in others understanding fully the need to be seen.
The child of God shoved to the side to sit alone becomes a deep well with Jesus in the solitary confinement. Soon fountains emerge that spill onto other needy hearts with a love taught fully in the isolation. The dreamer once silenced by mockery becomes the catalyst by which Christ births others into their harvest fields. For he, or she, can now teach endurance. Fret not children overlooked by men. For the Heavenly Father sees all and shall use it all for good. He has merely been training you for a greater work than you ever thought or imagined.
Favour finds you at the command of His voice and suddenly you find you are fit for a purpose necessary to call an entire generation to arise in His fullness and beauty. Before the trials, you lacked His power. You lacked His heart. You lacked His compassion. His love was not yet wrought into you deeply. He had to uproot and tear down so that He might rebuild His true ways in you. But now… it is His time…and you will know what is meant by “In His presence is the fullness of joy.” Every tear has watered a deep seed unseen to the naked eye but cultivated by the heavenly gardener. Arise to a new morning! For the fields are now ripe for harvest. The winter has past and is over. The rain is gone. The fields are blooming with flowers everywhere and it is the season for singing.
Hallelujah…
Judges 4
Introduction Resolution begins at the threshold of repentance and a sho’nuff understanding that I need God to do an inner work inside me so that I may do all He created me to do. Isaiah 50:7 Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.
Moses said, “I stutter.” Jeremiah said, “I am a child.” Gideon said, “I am too small.” God said, “Say to My people, Moses.” God said, “Prophecy (Speak), Jeremiah.” God said, “You are a mighty warrior, Gideon.”
Looking back can be purposeful and not just painful or regretful. I saw a growing need for change. As a child of the King, I realise that I am living beneath his intention for me so, I must do something about it. Living beneath is not summed up in a lifestyle that the physical eyes can observe, but rather the understandings of my purposeful-identity and how to live them out in this life. When I look back at the past roads of my life, I see some missed opportunities and moments that I could have done something more. These are not just any missed opportunities, but things that would have put me in a better position if I had followed through.
It began with recognizing that if I am to go any place of worth in my life, there would be a vision and strategy in place, a worthy one. Life strategies are made up of goals, plans, habits and well-thought-out and thorough processes. We must work on them. We must add them to our daily, monthly, yearly and to our journal of reection. A life coach may be necessary for some, or an accountability partner for others. An accountability circle can also do much good to those who make it up and make it work.
Ask God for your recipe.
DR BEN CARSON
During Dr. Carson’s childhood, his mother played the What perked my foundational role for interest a few years what prepared, ago was when reading revealed and gave “Think BIG” by Dr. him the discipline to Ben Carson. I loved achieve. this book! It was a great window view into the mind, the reflections, lessons, and view of a person who attributed his success to God. And not just any success, but a height of success that came through hard work, discipline and right application. I was able to see that preparation did not start as an adult, (wink-wink to parents).
A Proverb per day and a library book every day, each week. The television had to be off except on weekends. Nothing is overnight and something is surely not by accident. It was a series of building, learning, stretching, perfecting and counsel that made his life full and fruitful.
CREAM FILLING Dr. Ben Carson was able to explain through a life situation what he called deliberation. This process and the situation that acted as the window for me described the method that enabled him to make a serious decision and also helped him to stay true to the 'Why’ of his purpose and mission.
Cover Story
Deliberation paved out a series of steps that he took to keep his practice impacting lives and operating in a manner that kept the experience of all stakeholders beneficial. The deliberations were completed during the turning points and were very critical as he continued in his already-successful career path. Well, I started seeing a pattern in my choices and responses when it came to going forward with God-ideas, I was stumbling, stopping, starting, pausing and ended up not finishing. I had information, revelation, and God’s heart on the matter that I launched into projects and causes. However, I kept battling from within in specific areas that made me who God calls,
“The servant who buried his talent out of fear…” Matthew 25:25 So the very God that I wanted to bring glory to was the same God whose grace I frustrated.
"Define, Resolve & Resolution" Allow me to put some definition to the words. What is resolve? What is a resolution? Resolve is defined as to settle or find a solution to a problem or to make a serious decision. Resolution is the process of resolving. So what I have discovered is that the seriousness of my issue must be met with an even more seriousness or determination to overcome it.
My focus would become the lack. There would be glorious times with God in prayer and ideas that He so sweetly downloaded in me but my personal life would begin to pull my attention away from what God was saying in a subtle yet sure manner.
So sad. Much of what God was giving me were things that would add to my life the very things that I was worried about! I would be stuck on whether I had funds to do what God said.
However, I would talk myself out of God’s plans, forfeit the testimony by allowing my fears and allow these thoughts to bring me to a halt or to shelf the project.
This is evil thinking if we tell the truth.
I would desire to, but never truly pick it back up even if a little inspiration would come to me here and there. So what ended up happening was‌ nothing.
When God tell us to do something, we must know that what we need will be provided. God cannot lie because He provides for what He commands. Bottom line.
This nothing became regret, guilt and loss. Who can live this way?
When I am the central cause of my issue, then I must prayerfully focus on how to conquer the issue within myself, my choices, decisions, and responses. Being a woman of faith, I would never dare say that I can overcome this on my own. It starts with God’s grace and faith. I know that God is committed to my success, but am I committed? So when I saw the intentionality of Dr. Carson process and how he watched over the situations with prayer and strategy, plus timely moves, I was more than inspired. I knew that I needed to adopt my own strategy to solve or resolve issues that were within my reach and responsibility to do so.. So how do you determine where to start?
Start with understanding what you need to accomplish or ďŹ nish and line up what it will take to get it done. Prioritize according to time and relevant seasons.
MY ISSUE I knew what I needed to do or accomplish but there was an unwinding in me that happened as I viewed or second-guessed myself and my circumstances. My physical needs were a major distraction from purposes that God placed in my lap. I was not allowing focus when a need was lacking in my household.
IF IT SCARES YOU, it might be
a good thing
Seth Godin
SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERE
Don’t you just love to be in a tangible Spiritual Atmosphere where God is so present that you cannot deny that it is Him?
By Mary Eisenacher
I know I do! It is in those times when our spiritual growth soars, and we get delivered and healed. It is like a jump-start to our faith
FEATURE
We can stay in that heightened state of the glory for days, weeks, and even years. But, what do we do when the glory begins to fade? What happens when the renewal or revival seems to be a distant memory? Do you find that we can become enamored with how it was – in love with the last move of God? There is a problem when we talk too much about the way it was and not who Jesus still is to us. When this kind of thing happens, it is time to purpose ourselves to taking a step back and looking at the whole thing in a broader sense.
Even though it was once so very good, there are times when we need to remove ourselves from the details. We need to ask God for the “now” Word. He can reveal some new lines of thinking. Our spiritual lives are evolving as we go deeper! Freshness is important. We just do not have the luxury of becoming used to one vehicle of delivery of the gospel. Jesus is so multifaceted.
When we become stalled, maintenance becomes necessary in the midst of the meadow. A meadow (in sailing terms) occurs when the wind stops, the boat stalls, and the sails cannot fill with the necessary wind to propel the boat ahead. The water looks like glass, and shows no visual evidence of any wind all around the boat. The same situation can happen in our own daily spiritual lives – and also corporately wherever we worship and fellowship
we are still believers who are waiting for the spiritual atmosphere to change and the next wind and move of The Spirit to come.
Is it a safe harbor where the whole gospel is being preached and the gifts of The Spirit are in operation?
As sailors, my husband and I started out with a little boat on a little lake, then moved to a bigger lake, and then on to the Chesapeake Bay. It took courage, an investment in bigger boats, and our letting go of what was comfortable and familiar in order to go to new adventures and challenges.
A good question is, “Was Holy Spirit ever moving in this fellowship – or is leadership closed to the gifts of Holy Spirit, deliverance, the healing ministry, or women in ministry?”
We also know that God is moving somewhere at any given time. with other believers. It gets uncomfortable! But, we have to personally maintain our faith and trust in God – even when it seems as if Holy Spirit is not at work. I say “it seems,” because that is exactly what appearances might be trying to dictate to us. However, just like the sailor . . . he is still a sailor even though he is in the meadow with no wind. He knows that – after a while – the wind will return, and he will be able to sail in a fresh wind that will show up. And, when we are in a spiritual meadow.
The same can be applied to us in our spiritual quest. Can we stay where we are and pray for a new move of God?
Or . . Do we need a timeout of where we are worshipping, or is it going to take a permanent change?
If what I am saying has never been in your repertoire, then you need the “more” of God - deeper teaching, prayer about choices for your future, godly counsel, and possibly a change.
Feature I have been in some situations while sailing – hot weather, freezing weather, big storms with huge waves, no wind, too much wind, and wind blowing the wrong way that made it difficult and laborsome to get back to port. My favorite times were spent sailing in the strong driving wind, going fast, heeled over, with pleasant weather. A memorable time was when we labored to get to port in a big rain storm with huge waves – with the result that when we arrived at Swan Lake, the swans met us and a beautiful rainbow (close by with both ends in the water) signaled the end of the storm. A few years ago, we were done sailing our sweet McGregor and my husband donated it – gave it away – because it was cheaper than paying for it to stay in the slip or to be stored. It was a necessary decision, but not exactly a happy day when we turned it over to a museum to go to auction for their benefit.
But, we knew that God had other things for us to do for Him. We needed more time to spend in fellowship with other Christians and with our growing family. Prayer assignments on the water were over. Taking other ministers on board and having worship services while sailing was fulfilled. Time together could be accomplished differently. Good weather patterns were not happening as frequently as we liked (no sailing when it was too hot, too cold, not enough wind, or too much wind). It wasn’t much fun to drive for an hour and a half and not be able to take the boat out of the slip. Our season of sailing was over.
God began to bless us with new ways of spending our time. We needed a different wind to fill our spiritual sails.
Featur
Is any of this resonating with your spirit? You have probably found your spiritual atmosphere to be ever-changing. Remember how Elijah sent his servant out to look for rain because they had been in a drought? It is time to ask for the rains to come, and for God to charge up the spiritual atmosphere all around His people. We need to be charged up as we are taking a step back to review our situations. It is in the exploring of it all that we will get new vision, new strategies, and strength to go on and do those great exploits that Jesus has spoken over our lives. I believe in you, for you are reading the pages of this magazine as a divine appointment. Let the spiritual truths that you are taking in explode in your atmosphere and bring an igniting ďŹ re within those you come in touch with for the building of the Kingdom of God.
Whatever season you are in will prepare you for the next one. Whether it is a stalled time, full out revival, stepping back, maintaining, or entering into the glory . . . let Holy Spirit work with you through it all. Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) - You will seek me and ďŹ nd me when you seek me with all your heart.
When I compare myself to what I was two years ago, I see a frail girl just passing through the days with no hope from tomorrow. That was me, gawking at all the affectionate couples and stupeďŹ ed as to what is so wrong about me. Always checking myself in the mirror twice and gauging; ''if only my tooth were a little perfect, had I not had glasses'' and doubting my intellectual when in an interview. My thoughts, pretty much had me bringing out all the wrongs in me and around me.
journey within by Jarna Kantaria
Annual Report
Ah, the naïve amateur in us at times fails to look beyond what we see! I had this urge to transform this pessimistic behaviour of mine. I attempted each DAY, but in vain, for my subconscious self, took control so easily. For it sent me a mentor Megha Bajaj. And here’s the first lesson I learnt – Initiate, let the God/universe know your desires, and they will surely magically unfold at the time of need. So, apart from brooding, I had this dream of writing. I say dream because I wrote, but never shared amongst my friends, or my close aides, for the fear of being judged.
Well, fear has to die and so did mine. I got to know about her through a friend of mine and within days I could see myself registering for the workshop. She has inspired me to start writing. I knew I needed to change, but I had never really identified that it was the subconscious I needed to first focus upon. The amateur in me was busy focusing on the outer layers, like the skin, the looks, the outfits and other things. While we are busy working on the superficial layers, someone above is busy attempting to work on our inner layers that hold the depths and the roots of our existence.
The deeper you dive within yourself, the merrier you are E.CARE
Through my writing sessions, she first identified what type of individual I am and then she guided me with flavours of life I had never tasted. We live in an era where life runs faster than an antelope and we are busy running. This makes us not focus or pay attention to what is going on within us and we fail to identify the reasons why we do certain doings.
We focus so much on the receiving. Little do we pause and ponder ‘what about the giving?’ Amongst all, this is one of the most profound lessons I have absorbed through her classes. I can never go back to the old me with this teaching. The magic begins when we evoke the giver within us. Give, share and experience the difference, is all I can say. The joy you receive is beyond words.
The next thing that I had to learn to do to feed the fearlessness in me, was the art of not judging - Neither us nor others Although you are compassionate, you can still be judged. We are so busy counting ifs and buts that we are unaware what unconditional love would feel like.recollections, interviews, polls on the topic, etc. Ask a husband whose wife is suffering from Alzheimer’s and still loves her dotingly. That’s the secret to happy relationships - this is what I have experienced. Well with all this, my faith in the Almighty grew stronger, deepening the core that might never ever dwindle. A few of us prefer to rationalise that it is we who work hard, yet we cannot deny the instances when magic unfolds.
I would say, just believe and witness how your life transforms. Teachings like this are timeless and I will cherish them throughout my life.
My work is annoyingly awful. Yet this I know for sure - something better is in store for me. All I need is to hold on to this.
Indeed there are myriad things we learn through experience, yet life works wonders if we refurbish the basics. If you want to have a glimpse at where I am in my life now, then here it is:. First, I am writing this without fussing what you might draw of the older me. Next, I am happily married, sheepishly in love and forever grateful to God that I have Dhawal - my husband as a partner.
“For I know, life is not always merry, life is not always perfect, life might never unfold as planned. And that is fine. For we are on a journey and on the way to our destination -!”
"Giving words to love'' Yesterday, while relishing a candid conversation with one of my friends, we happened to discuss our mutual friend who is now having a strained relationship with her partner. Reason - she got herself burnt in an accident, distorting her otherwise beautiful face, according to him.
lov articl
The incident stung deep under my skin and I couldn’t get o it. It whirled in my mind for the whole day until I sat in peace to write about it and get some rationalism and depth out of it. I wondered, is love so superficial or is it we in this fast moving world have become so cosmetic that most of us have forgotten that peoplehave feelings Then I pondered..how much do we mean when we say “I love you, I am never going to leave your side through thick and thin” or “I am never going to see your face again”. Wel,l are our words, thoughts and feelings aligned? If not then why do we blabber?
Let’s go a little deeper. When you think about your partner what exactly crosses your mind? Is it their looks, feelings, your life together, the way they treat you or the way they don’t treat you? Why are so many of us unhappy souls inspite of being loved ? I assume mainly because we want to be loved the way we imagine. We let our definition of love to be right definition. What we fail to understand is that love is an expression and everyone is free to express it the way they like. Understand that and feel the highs of any relationship.
Also, in the world of technology and social networking, most of us tend to open our lives freely, leading to comparisons and unnecessary blockage in our minds. Let not your life drift in accordance of people around you.
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We all are on different paths with varied quests.
Should the incident like the one I mentioned above change the love within you? We all go through highs and lows, the peaks and valleys, the sunrises and sunsets, the brightness and darkness - for that’s the flow of life. Would we call love, LOVE when we live in darkness and embrace in light?
Let it flow, but don’t let yours drift yours. Let the love withiin you not change. As I was thinking of all this, my mind charged with love I carry for You cannot control everything my partner and my close aides. around you - let it flow the way it has to, the way it’s And here’s what I have to say meant to. I love all of him. The complete package, The good, the bad, the ugly, the best - All of it. My feelings for him are reciprocated. We are humans, we tend to remould and peel off our older selfs based on our experiences, encounters and beliefs. We change, so should our love change?
Let not the superficial facets of life hinder what’s within you. With this, I gathered a little peace to my racing thoughts and when I saw my husband coming from the office,I couldn’t help it but smile. I instantly went on to hug him tight, for that’s my way of expression!
by Linda Mhlanga
I'll see you later '. ' I'll do it tomorrow '. 'Let's do it next week ". 'I'll be home for Christmas/ New Year". We all make plans for the next moment, the future that is the next second, minute, hour or even years to come when we expect to see ourselves at a different stage or level of life.
Yet, not any one of us on earth knows for sure if 'later' or 'tomorrow ' or Christmas will actually happen. Not any one of us can say for sure that we will even take our next breath! We simply live and breathe by faith.
What is faith then? As a Christian, I understand faith to be the "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen". Hebrews 11:1. To wit, faith is more than my religion or any other religion at that. Christian or otherwise, as long as you need to breathe to survive, you are doing so by faith. It is simply a matter of physiology rather than religion.
Everything we do and say is based on hope in the unseen and faith that it will work out as we expect or anticipate. If we need faith to live, do we need faith to bring healing to our physical bodies when they become diseased ?
Can faith go beyond the physical body and bring other things to us such as jobs, relationships, provision or whatever it is that we desire ?
Maybe. Maybe not. The answers to these questions and many others may lie in how biological processes of living organisms work.
i
We learn from an early age that human beings and other living organism have 7 characteristics that differentiate them from non-living organisms.
by Linda Mhlanga
We memorize the mnemonic MRS GREN to help us to remember these. There is an inbuilt mechanism within the human body to facilitate each life process: •movement through the skeletal system •Respiration through the lungs •Sensitivity through the skin •Growth through the cellular system •Reproduction through the reproductive system •Excretion through the excretory system •Nutrition through the digestive system
What of faith then? If faith is so important to living, what is the built in system that facilitates our faith? Does one even exist? A built in system to facilitate our faith does exist and this is called the human spirit. The human spirit is that part of us that helps us to decide whether to fight or take flight in the jungle of life.
Our human spirit must be in good shape in order for faith to work to our greatest benefit. Faith in the 'unseen' is what fuels many expeditions around the world and beyond, many scientific and other discoveries; and much religious and spiritual learning and study.
ALL THIS HAS AND IS STILL BEING DONE IN SPITE OF MANY ODDS No matter your religion, you will choose to run when you encounter a dangerous animal such as a lion! You do so with the faith that you will be able to escape from being it's lunch!!! World champions such as Usain Bolt, have an indomitable human spirit and deep faith to be the best in their chosen field. So does a person that gets trapped under rubble for days after an earthquake, and survives without food, water or clean air simply through sheer human spirit and a faith to live.
And yet the explorers, the scientists, the spiritual scholars persevere in their quest, in some instances for many years and after many failures. Faith, like breathing or eating is an integral part of living for those who undertake great pursuits that change or impact the global stage, their communities, their families and even themselves. Faith is not a 5 letter word that resides in a religious book only to be brought out at designated times of religious study.
Faith is alive and is exercised or practised every minute of every day in order for one to live with joy, be healed, live a purposeful life, be in the relationship you want, have your needs met and so on. But human spirit can only take one so far. The human spirit is fallible. It gets worn out and tired. It gets battered by the storms of life. It will fail at some point. That is why we need to connect our human spirit to a higher power that is, God Almighty, our Saviour Jesus Christ and to is ďŹ lled with the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is inďŹ nitely more powerful than the human spirit. The Holy Spirit can access areas that the human spirit with its limited capacity cannot access. The Holy Spirit can quicken the time it would take the human spirit to accomplish something. One's faith remains strong when it has the backing of a higher power through the Holy Spirit. Even when the human spirit is at its lowest, at its weakest, overwhelmed, tempted and all odds seem stacked against it, One can stare in the face of the worst adversity and not give up or give in because of the faith that, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", Philippians 4:13. Stay blessed.
by Shana Strange I WALKED INTO THE ROOM AND MY HEART SANK. I COULD FEEL THE ICY PULL OF JEALOUSY AND ENVY TWISTING AT MY HEART AGAIN. AM I REALLY GOING TO GO HERE AGAIN??
I thought I was over this- I thought I had outgrown the childish need to compare myself to the prettiest or most talented girl in the room, but alas I guess not. For some reason, I still have moments that I feel like I’m not enough and those times leak out ike an infection at the worst times.
I feel repulsed by it but also angry that I STILL struggle sometimes after all of the history He and I have together. Honestly, how could he prove His love for me any more than He already has?? What would really soothe that aching cavernous hole in me that constantly needs reassurance that He loves me unconditionally just as much as the next person?
But I look at other’s lives and it seems like they have it all together. They seem so blessed and perfect. The favour of God has sprinkled over their lives. They have the perfect job, marriage, body, etc. Or so it seems. And then I realize someone is probably watching my life and thinking the same thing about me! And then I realize someone is probably watching my life and thinking the same thing about me! That I have to turn venues down because I’m so popular. Or maybe they believe I have thousands upon thousands of dollars in the bank and I’m rolling. But none of that is true. I call and email churches and venues nonstop with very few successful bookings from my efforts. My husband and I make a good living but we don’t have a ton extra.
I struggle some days to not give up on the dreams God put in me. The truth is that when we look at others we end up caught in the comparison trap. And it’s a hard place to escape. But we can if we learn a few important principles
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GRATITUDE Living in a place of ungratefulness is the sin that led Cain We can thank Him to murder his own by worshipping brother, Abel. with the tools He gave us and not God didn’t like Cain worry that better than Abel, He someone else’s just saw that Abel’s gift is better, or heart intent was God loves them pure. Cain thought more because they that God liked Abel are superior to us better and allowed in some way. jealousy to enter, which tainted his act of worship. You can read that story in Genesis chapter 4 We need to approach God every day from a place of gratitude and thanksgiving.
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Receive the extravagant love of God. If we keep getting caught in the comparison trap then we haven’t fully embraced God’s great love for us. Translation: we aren’t spending enough time in the word hearing His voice or experiencing His presence. We need an ongoing encounter with God. We were made for fellowship with Him and when we don’t get that we fall prey to dumb things like comparison traps.
This isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list about what causes us to get caught up in comparing, but I think you can see it goes back to our basic need of feeling loved and being affirmed. If you feel insecure and unloved, I encourage you to seek the heart of God and ask Him to reveal to you personally His great love for you. I know He is faithful to His children. I know that He loves diversity in His children. He created us all differently because He has the capacity to love us all uniquely but equally! What an amazing Father and what beauty He has placed in all of us.
Let’s celebrate each other and exit the comparison trap!
In the course of life, we all go through things that have us feeling left alone and misunderstood: in singleness, being married and feeling single, being betrayed by loved one, in long term friendships, in church being judged, having to play the role of both parents in a single parent home not having anyone that you can trust or conďŹ de in when you're at the end of your rope
We go as far sometimes to say, "that's none of my business" Or “I’m staying in my lane” OR “ that’s none of my concern” but if we are Disciples (learning to follow Jesus) of Christ, it is our business to be concerned; yet not our business to be overly nosey about the situation. God places people in your life for a reason, while they are with you, it is your responsibility to: A. seek God for that purpose B. seek God on their behalf. After He has shown you the purpose, you now must act upon it and fulfill it. Also, we have to self check our own self before we can take on anyone else's cares, concerns and problems. Your life must be an example unto Christ being your head, you are living up to HIS standards and you must have some of the attributes that He has when dealing with your sister (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance) Galatians 5:22 & 23
by Sherry Eaton
...or just stay little"
But How Can We Keep One Another? • We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written,"The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me" (Rom 15:1-4). Our care for one another flows out of Christ’s care for us. He was strong but became weak for us (Phil 2:5f) He bore with the failings of the weak. He did not "please himself". He took our reproach upon himself. He identified with us. He is not merely our example. He is also our righteousness.
Because we have His righteous record, because we’ve been completely forgiven and welcomed we are now free to care for others and let them care for us.
We are free to live selflessly because we’ve been loved and given everything we need.
We are free to admit our sin and weaknesses to one another.
We are now able to be free from comparison, alienation, jealousy, selfish ambition, manpleasing, fear and selfcondemnation.
Transparency in relationship flows out of the gospel. We are free to associate with "sinners". Compassion for others and their failings flows out of the gospel.
Selflessness flows out of the gospel because we have everything in Him.
This will bring openness to the women of God to share, to find solace, to be encouraged and find accountability with past experiences and more importantly the Word of God;you will take on your sister as yourself. (Galatians 6:2)
.. sharing her pain , her passion , her good days as well as her bad (Romans 12:15).
You will admonish her, guard her, correct her and love her as God leads you (Luke 17:3, 1 Thessalonians 5:14, Ephesians 4:15). We will NOT work in the esh, we will listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit to guide our tongues to lead our sister to freedom and keep her in freedom (James 1:19) As the spirit leads, you will share testimonies that will enhance your sister (Revelation 12:11)
Caring for others begins with your own transparency. Confess your weaknesses and sins weaknesses and sins to one another and ask for prayer and accountability. James 5:16 Last but not least, We ARE NOT to discuss our sister’s issues. We are here to help, not sow discord (Proverbs 6:19)
NO Sister Left Behind To be uncovered and unloved is the worst feeling in the world. The enemy is sitting on your chest and you can’t breathe, you need some help and have no one to call. Yes we know that Jesus is the realest name to call when life has beat us down, but can I be real? A lot of us want someone in the natural to pour our hearts out to. We want someone that we can talk to immediately and they will answer back. We want someone that will console us in our times of need.
Do you have a true sister that you can trust with your innermost feelings? You know that stuff you’ve kept to yourself because you are ashamed of it and surely don’t want to share with anyone else. Who can you be YOU around? It’s hard to express yourself and still be saved. People are quick to judge you when you say I love the Lord and see you being your human self. They don’t under stand that the soul is talking and through this old nasty flesh it speaks.
We are humans and we will be that until the Father sends for His investment in the Earth, but at the same time the soul is who we are seeking to be daily. Our desire should be to please the Father and give him a sincere yes. It's hard to remain faithful during the time of spiritual warfare or trials but the Lord provides pure spiritual milk and meat to sustain us during this time.
Are you ready to war for your sister? Then put on the whole armour of God? Ephesians 6:11-18
Who can I show my scars, show my craziness to, show my weaknesses and still be the child of God?
The armour that is available for believers to put on is God's own armour (Isaiah 59:16–19) for He is the Divine Warrior.
I need HER when I’m vulnerable.
DO NOT let the enemy cause you and your sister to miss the deliverance that God sent His only Begotten Son to die for. Romans 8:13 King James Bible For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. Who is it that I can live around when I mortify the deeds of the body?
Endurance isn’t meant for the weak or the faint at heart but to the one with a made up mind. I will not let anything the enemy throughs my way (through God’s permission) to move me off course. Ecclesiastes 9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Hear the Lord concerning your sister’s needs and desires. She is hungry and thirsty as well for more in the Spirit, more sisterly love and more of a relationship.
The Lord has blessed us with intellect, wisdom and reasoning. He has developed a healing mechanism that comes in effect in case the body is attacked by sickness or other factors that try to weaken the body. Many of may have spiritual hands at work, with closed spiritual ears that are reluctant to hear and obey the Lord.Don’t turn a deaf ear to her. Learn to war in the Spirit on her behalf until she gets what she has asked of the Lord.
Hezekiah Walker has a song that says,“ I need you,you need me.We’re all a part of God’s Body. Stand with me. Agree with me. We’re all a part of God’s body. It is HIS will that every need be supplied. You are important to me, I need you to survive”. Next time you look in your sister’s face, hear her saying I need you to survive. I need your testimony, your strength, your endurance to make it…. And fight for her as if it’s your life!
There comes a time in a persons life that one must realize that the FATHER has a path that HE has assigned for their life which is a place of “PURPOSE.”
Many things can happen along the way life circumstances, financial struggles, marital woes, health issues, and parenting challenges that can make the path uneasy. We must understand the path is made to give us direction. We must continue to follow with the leading of the FATHER.
What does it mean for us to “follow the paved way of the FATHER?” Webster’s dictionary defines ''paved'' in following statements: to prepare a smooth easy way and/or to facilitate development. I am writing from my heart to encourage you.
God has prepared the path to your GOD GIVEN PURPOSE. You must clearly understand that every step you will take to get to purpose will not be easy, however; by allowing the leading of the Holy Spirit, the path become easier as you go through the PROCESS.
I remember a situation in my life when I was laid off my job as a college professor. I was also working a part-time job in dialysis.
A few months prior to the lay off; I was deciding to leave my dialysis job.
I remember speaking with my mother and also praying about leaving my dialysis position; but the Holy Spirit wouldn’t allow me to quit my job. I’m thankful that I didn’t leave because I would have been unemployed.
God will always make the path smooth even through difficult times. The things that are challenging along the way the Father can allow them to help us develop in our faith in Him.
The scripture tells us in Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, ‘ If thou canst believe (are) possible to him that believeth.” Also, Matthew 19: 26 states, But Jesus beheld ( them), and said unto them ,“With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” We must not resist the Father leading us because it can bring ease to our circumstances. There are lesson we can learn by following the leading of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will direct us into all truths that help develop us as a person.
The FATHER wants what’s best for His children and that is to guide and protect us if we would allow Him. I want to let you know by my own testimony and experience that allowing God to lead my life is the best thing that ever happened to me. He made all things possible in my life and it increased my faith in Him tremendously. You have a GOD GIVEN PURPOSE and must follow the path God has you traveling to get to the place of Destiny.
After a decade of no contact, my sixteen year old daughter lived with her father for about six months. While I didn’t sleep a full night during that time, she seemed happy for the first three. After that, things began to go south rather quickly, and soon, she came home, to both of our relief. One day soon after, while we were at the grocery store, she mentioned that her whole life she had assumed that our divorce was her fault. She had never mentioned this to me, the idea that somehow my divorce from an abuser could be laid at her feet. But before I could begin my strenuous objections to this idea, she casually shrugged and said, “But then I lived with him, and then I realized he was a pretty bad person.” She knew from her sisters that he was troubled, and though I always tried to avoid speaking ill of him to my daughters, the revelation that this guilt she held onto was unnecessary and untrue set her free in a way that my words could not have. She found self-forgiveness.
The process of forgiving oneself is a messy one. In ministry sessions, I witnessed the Lord setting people free from selfdirected anger and shame. The route to freedom is somewhat the same for everyone. Here is the key:
Each person must take the time to sort out the guilt that is legitimate versus that which is assumed. The Three Questions: If you are carrying around a load of self-directed anger or loathing, measure them up against these three critera: Pg. 4
1
Of what specific act are you guilty? My daughter, at the age of one, obviously could not shoulder the guilt of our divorce and yet she had, unbeknownst to me. If I asked her what she had done, she might say in her own reasoning, “I was born and that caused tension.” Then the next question is whether she had control over her birth?
What specific act could she name that caused these problems that preceded her by a decade? If you cannot name a specific action that you are guilty of regarding a situation, you need to reconsider it. Sometimes others blame you for things over which you had no control. Are you taking on guilt because your own heart convicts you or because of the judgment of others?
2
Why did you do it? This is not about excusing your behavior to yourself. But if someone steals from you to feed their starving child, does this affect your motivation to extend mercy over someone stealing from you out of mere greed? Look into your reasoning for your actions. For years I felt terrible guilt for staying married to a cruel man and thereby exposing my girls to his narcissistic abuse. And the regret is sometimes overwhelming. But as I remember my situation closely, I realize the factors in my decisions were complicated by fear of a man who could hurt me. I was afraid of losing the girls. I was afraid that he would make good on his threats against me. And then I remember I was brave enough to run away several times with the girls until it stuck.
And I fought him and won. Mistakes were made. Mistakes are always made. I grieve over the loss of time and innocence. But I extend mercy to my younger self because I didn’t know then what I know now.
3
Have you done your part in confessing and asking forgiveness? As my daughters process the realities of who their father is and my part in the marriage, I try to cop to whatever grievance they have.
If you have wronged people, make it safe to air their grievances and allow them to forgive you at their own honest pace.
but still struggle with experiencing forgiveness, ask yourself if you have truly experienced God’s forgiveness of your sins.
If you can humbly admit to your mistakes, it doesn’t make them go away, but it helps others get over their hurt. And that helps you put it behind you as well.
Intellectual assent is not the same thing as revelation. Your brain might agree, but if your heart is still condemning you, it may be time to seek after a more experiential approach.
As others forgive you, suddenly extending forgiveness to yourself becomes easier. . If you know what you have done, why you did it, and have made full confession to God and those concerned,
In the times of inner healing prayer that I have ministered over the years, one of the quickest ways to help someone out of the hamster wheel of self-loathing was asking them if they were willing to receive God’s forgiveness.
4
To refuse forgiveness is prideful; it is to judge God’s grace as inadequate. I do not say this to shame but to encourage, for I have never seen anyone turned away at the foot of the Cross. My next blog in this mini-series will concentrate on various ways to experience God’s forgiveness in such a ways as to make forgiving yourself far easier.
But for today, exercise selfawareness. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict your heart of those things that are true, but to free yourself from false guilt and the shame from the accuser of our souls that wounds our hearts.
For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. 1 John 3:20