When I moved to the city it was all chaotic, I felt small surrounded by big buildings and long streets. It wasn’t like home. Home felt safe, quiet and small, just like myself at the time. I would walk down the hill from my small apartment in North Sydney, the apartment that felt like a shoe box compared to the farm. I would walk down and sit at lavender bay to get some peace and quiet so I could feel safe. I would hide in amongst the trees between the small tracks around Wendy Whitleys secret garden and feel so safe that the trees would hug me. It was there that I felt how can I feel safe with these large trees but be so afraid of these tall buildings.
As I travelled back home I would go and sit by the river on the sandy banks underneath all the gum trees, I would breathe in the strong eucalyptus scent that was surrounding me and feel a large wave of peace wash over me. I would sit in this calm almost high state of mind and dip my toes into the fresh clean water and feel all the pollution peel off my body, I would watch the river swallow it up and reject it.
I spent the rest of the afternoon lying on the sand, feeling every single grain of sand on my body, melting into the sand slowly, wanting it to swallow me up and leave me there forever. I did not want to leave. As I wave goodbye to dad and he straps me into the propeller aeroplane, I can feel the salty tears welling up in my eyes.
He looks at me and says. You are bigger and stronger than a city. You can take on anything.
