White Magazine | Wedding and Marriage | Issue 40 (Courage)

A MARRIAGE AS BEAUTIFUL A S Y O U R W E D D I N G D AY

AUS $15 / NZ $16 ISSUE #40 : 2018 ISSN 1834-3589

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Photography by Athena Grace

A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hi friend! You just so happened to have picked up a book on courage; Issue 40 is a collection of beautiful and humbling stories from some of our dearest friends who have opened their hearts to us—I think that’s courageous in itself and I’m so thankful for each one of them.

There was no better time than now for us to bring you an Issue on ‘Courage’—I’ve been becoming more aware of how I’ve allowed fear to control my life and have been trying to take some rather courageous and intentional steps to grow myself in this area. Let’s push past expectation that can leave us feeling powerless and hopeless and instead determine to be brave and forge our own road, having the courage to speak up and step out.

As part of my journey, I’ve learnt a couple of things that I’d like to share with you. The first is to embrace fear. A little thing Luke says to our kids all the time is: “Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid; being brave is not letting fear stop you.” Courage is not easy or comfortable; fear will sometimes be there and that’s perfectly OK. It sounds cliché, but it’s so true—the best things in life are on the other side of fear and it’s a great indication of the good things to come. When you’re afraid to say how you’re feeling to your partner, dive in, expose your heart, your wants, dreams, fears, doubts. Create a relationship from day one that is a safe place for you both to be courageous together.

The second is that courage isn’t necessarily always saying, “Yes”—it can often be a “No”. We don’t always have to be on the frontline to win a battle—sometimes it’s in the quiet places, when we can unpack our thoughts and be still.

I’m still massively learning this one, but I know I’m on the right path!

And finally, I love this quote from Erika’s piece, ‘Facing Insecurities’ (pg. 32): “If you are insecure, you really need to pluck up the guts to be honest with the one you love. Honesty will pull the thorn of doubt out”. We need to build our relationship on a bed of trust; a safe place where there is absolutely no doubt that they love you just as you are. I wish I had someone to tell me this as a newlywed—all those times I wondered if I was good enough.

Choosing to get married is hugely courageous! I hope the words in these pages encourage you and help guide you both into the wild unknown. I’m so excited for you, this journey, these busy, full days. Hold each other tightly and step out bravely. Let’s be fierce in our love!

Photography by @kimcartmellweddings

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ISSUE FORTY JULY 2018 publishers luke + carla burrell

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EDITOR’S LETTER CONTRIBUTORS WHITE LOVES

editor + creative director carla burrell carla@whitemag.com

deputy editor cassandra holland cassie@whitemag.com

advertising + partnerships

planning

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BE BRAVE FACI NG CHALLENGES I N YOUR WEDDI NG PLANNI NG

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NOT FOR ME TACKLI NG

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TRUE COLOURS ACCESSOR I ES THAT MAKE A STATEMENT

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AT A LOSS MARRYI NG WI THOUT SI GNI FI CANT GUESTS

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FACING INSECURITIES COMI NG

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ADVENTUROUS SOULS EMBR ACE AN OUTDOOR BR I DAL SHOWER

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BRAVE BEAUTY BOLD + GRACEFUL WEDDING LOOKS

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FIERCELY FEMININE FASHI ON FOR THE QUI ETLY DAR I NG

partnerships@whitemag.com

online editor angela donofrio online@whitemag.com

accounts keiralee spencer accounts@whitemag.com

designed by mezzanine.co mylan chen-ough interns gem kellahan

cover photo jordan knight photo editorial contributors emma plant, erika croxford, lizzy milani, richard miller, sharon luecke, vanisha mishra-vakaoti photographic contributors alex carlyle, beck rocchi, ben adams, caleb john hill, dawn thomson photography, elizabeth messina, finch & oak, in frames photography, india earl, irena balashko, jac & heath photography, jordan knight photo, jordan voth, julie paisley photography, lev kuperman photography, tish carlson creative contributors inkling design, makeup by ashley tani, the honest jones, under the wild stars

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A FEAR

OF MAR R I AGE

TO

TERMS WI TH WHO YOU ARE

wedding

58 66 74 82 90 98 106

KATE + TRENTON TEI + JESSE MELANIE + LIAM JESS + ALEX GEMA + MATT BEC + KIRK CHELSEA + NICK

relationships

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DOUBLING THE DREAM LOOKI NG AHEAD AS A COUPLE

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RAY OF HOPE GETTI NG

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FINDING COURAGE WAYS TO STR ENGTHEN YOUR MAR R I AGE

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STILL THE ONE I LOVE BOB + PAM: UNCONDI TI ONAL FRI ENDSHI P

BACK TO

A PLACE OF LOVE

ALEX CARLYLE PHOTOGRAPHER

AMANDA JONES STYLIST

ERIKA CROXFORD WRITER

HEATH BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHER

LIZZY MILANI WRITER

Alex is a Sydney-based photographer who is passionate about universal fairness, friendship and magical moments. Her quest as a photographer is to create crisp, clean and classic images that are timeless and beautiful.

“I view my work as a celebration of the magic of reality and humanity.” @alexcarlyle

Amanda built upon her creative processes at the Whitehouse Institute of Design and the School of Creative Arts, now defining her skillset as filmmaking and art direction. Her two main passions are people and creativity, and she runs her business, The Honest Jones, alongside her husband, Kristian. @thehonestjones

Erika is new to freelance writing, and we’re so excited to be able to showcase her natural talent at white magazine.

She’s currently the minister and creative director at C3 Newcastle City, and her editorial work reflects her passion for living an influential life, combined with her love for family. @erika_croxford

Heath has a background in commercial photography, shooting for clients such as BBC Top Gear, Grand Designs and Qantas. Since marrying, he has moved on to wedding photography, capturing genuine emotion, candid interactions and personalities with the help of his wife, Jac. For them, it is all about atmosphere. @jacandheath

Lizzy is the co-founder of the daily devotional app, PocketFuel, with her husband, Jesse. After leaving her full-time job to care for her children, Lizzy found a new hobby in writing, something she now transforms into daily blog posts. Through her words, she encourages people to find truth. @pocketfuel

SHARON LUECKE WRITER

TISH CARLSON PHOTOGRAPHER

SAMANTHA GERARD STYLIST

VANISHA MISHRAVAKAOTI WRITER

ELIZABETH MESSINA PHOTOGRAPHER

Sharon Luecke is a writer and the founder/creative director of The Bare Bride.

As the creative brains, she helps everyday women redefine what it means to be a bride and shifts the focus to what matters most: the heart. Sharon lives in Maine, lending her talents to white so we can change the culture behind weddings. @thebarebride

Tish is one-half of a wedding photography duo based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Alongside her partner, Matt, she travels the world to capture the authentic love between couples on their wedding day. She is an expert in capturing those unseen, cherished moments you want to remember forever. @mattandtish

As the founder/director of Wild Hearts, Samantha brings her creativity and styling expertise to the wedding industry. Based in Christchurch, with a passion for dreaming big, you’ll find her work in Wild Hearts’ campaigns and magazine, as well as publications such as Together Journal. @samanthagerardstylist

Originally from Fiji, Vanisha floats between her home country and New Zealand and Australia, managing her research consultancy firm, Making Connections Fiji, with her husband, and writing about her life. Her blog, A Life Un-Styled, gives a realistic look into the world of poverty, motherhood and everyday life. @alifeunstyled

The talented Elizabeth is a passionate photographer, creative and mother of three.

She seeks to create images of the ‘delicious moments’ in her life and has achieved great success as an artist, with many of her images gracing the pages of wellknown publications, such as Darling Magazine and InStyle Magazine. @elizabethmessina

SEARCH OUR VENDOR DIRECTORY

WHTE.CO/DIRECTORY

WHITE LOVES a graceful pairing Katie Waltman began her range of stunning jewellery after being inspired by her grandmother’s bead collection. She set up shop in 2002, and has now expanded her brand to include clothing, homewares and skincare. Pick up these simple yet elegant aqua jewels at katiewaltman.com

tie the knot Country Road’s Teneille Knot Heels are timelessly styled, making them perfect for guests or bridesmaids alike. They can even be worn beyond the wedding day with work attire.

These versatile shoes feature a sturdy heel, soft suede upper and tie ankle. Shop more of Country Road’s range at countryroad.com.au

hidden gem This emerald Lena Dress by BHLDN takes elegance to the edge, with its daring slit, high neck and exaggerated flutter sleeves. It is beautifully draped and available in four additional colours, including Navy, Port Wine, Blush and Black. Find out more at bhldn.com

elegant invitations check it out Sage x Clare’s sister-line, PLAY, has come up with this delightful Peony Woven Throw, with a playful check design in Merlot, Magenta and Coral.

Enter to win this modern blanket at whitemag.com/win, or see more of their designs at sageandclare.com

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Graphic artist, Aileen Fretz, specialises in handwritten invitations and stationery made from organic, handmade materials. Her designs are semi-customisable to meet any theme with ease. plumecalligraphy.com

stylish staples Status Anxiety creates classic, timeless pieces in an industry that thrives on following the latest trends. With an ethos that speaks of obsessing over ‘clean, minimalistic design’, their premium leather goods are a must-have. See more at statusanxiety.com.au

artistic flair The work of fashion illustrator, Jeanette Getrost, is both elegant and awe-inspiring.

Generating images and representations of high-fashion pieces, she is helping retain the beauty of design in an ever-changing industry. jeanettegetrost.co

go for gold A practical yet luxurious travel accessory designed

by Parisian perfumer Francis Kurkdjian, this sophisticated gold perfume case is a necessity for the frequent flyer. Buy this and shop a fragrance to match at mecca.com.au

dream in colour Suzanne Harward’s Kaleidoscope Dream collection showcases complex couture elements emphasising feminine design, luxe fabrication and signature silhouettes. Check it out at suzanneharward.com

a good wine

modern treasures Two worlds collide at Grew & Co, where ancient techniques and contemporary methods combine to create unique and dreamlike jewellery designs.

Explore their pieces at grewandco.com.au

Founded in Australia, Sofi Spritz offers a range of wine cocktails inspired by the Italian-style of ‘aperitivo’. The concoctions are balanced with sparkling water, citrus and herbal extracts, and they are the perfect beverages to get your reception started!

Head to sofispritz.com

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white loves

WHITE LOVES

natural scents daring bride Rue De Seine’s Moonlight Magic collection is everything a bohemian bride could ever dream of for her wedding day. This Ziggy gown is carefree and fun, with embellished and hand-beaded mesh and dipdyed fringing. It’s designed for the bride who loves to stand out and deserves a bit of drama with her wedding look. ruedeseine.com

‘Love Meredith’ candles have been hand-poured in the Yarra Valley from sustainable soy and coconut wax and scented with pure, organic essential oils.

They’re inspired by Meredith’s last book, The Art of Wellbeing. meredithgaston.com.au

a clean canvas Tatcha’s The Silk Canvas primer is a velvety balm of pressed silk that smooths and makes makeup last a lot longer by keeping it from being absorbed through the skin. The protective layer also prevents clogged pores and breakouts, making it a beauty must-have in the lead-up to your wedding, and on the day. tatcha.com

custom classics Juniper Books specialises in the custom creation of books and libraries. Win this bright and playful collection of classic novels at whitemag.com/win as a wedding gift for the book-enthusiast couple, or keep it for yourself and start your own dream library. juniperbooks.com

step by step Salt Water Sandals have been the go-to American footwear for over 70 years. Originally made from scrap leather from military boots during war shortages, these sandals came to Australia in 2010, and have been a staple ever since. saltwatersandals.com.au

WIN

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whimsical world Tutu Du Monde specialises in the creation of whimsical ballet costumes, jewellery and slippers. This Swan Queen tutu dress is made of tulle and soft, silky feathers, and is embellished with dazzling beads to create a look that is delicate and sweet. Win one at whitemag.com/win or see more at tutudumonde.com

pure + simple The Jojoba Company prides itself on creating skincare treatments that are natural and effective.

Win a Starter Pack at whitemag.com/win or head to thejojoba company.com.au to see more of their range.

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in the bag Handmade in Houston, Texas, Julia Gabriel Weber uses simple geometry in her handbag designs, culminating in a range that is artful and architectural.

You could win one of these beautiful bags for yourself at whitemag.com/win or see more of her collection at juliagabrielstudio.com

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coffee break Calling all coffee addicts! This Cacao Coffee Scrub by Frank Body will have you smelling sweet and looking chic by combining natural ingredients that provide intense exfoliation and hydration. Head to frankbody.com

glitz + glamour free spirit Combining nostalgia, beauty and freedom of spirit, Spell Designs has produced a clothing line that is the epitome of bohemian chic. Their love of age-old lace and floral patterns combine to create a range that’s truly unique. shop.spelldesigns.com.au

The designs housed in Olive + Piper are the tangible embodiment of glamour.

Search their breathtakingly gorgeous jewellery at their online boutique and find designs fit for an ambitious bride. oliveandpiper.com

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white loves

WHITE LOVES

suit up Caposhii has crafted these velvet ensembles for a suave take on the traditional suit. The singlebreasted jacket features notched lapels, while the trousers are straight fit with hemmed bottoms. caposhii.com

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ring true

floral delights At Luna Bea, each piece is created to reflect beauty and simplicity, while exploring female sensuality. Win this gorgeous ear cuff for yourself at whitemag.com/win or see more of their designs at lunabea.com

e.g.etal designs and lovingly handcrafts each item that is sold to its customers.

Their collaboration of jewellery designers means there is an array of beautifullycrafted pieces to suit every individual.

See more at egetal.com.au

soft as velvet Chaos & Harmony is a boutique shoe company that embodies self-expression.

They offer a selection of softcoloured footwear that’s sweet and feminine—the perfect complement to a delicate lace bridal gown. chaosand harmonyshoes.com

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knitted novelties

edible expressions

Penelope Cream crafts beautiful, hand-knitted ties using fine wool that has been hand-dyed by artisans. Win a tie from her range at whitemag. com/win or see more at penelopecream.com

Compartes’ range is, arguably, the most tasty expression of art. From graffiti-covered bars to confettifilled blocks, these chocolate treats are sure to tantalise the tastebuds.

For the ultimate wedding favour, head to compartes.com

sweet stationery Former garage apartmentbased business, Rifle Paper Co., has grown into an international brand, run by husband and wife, Anna and Nathan. Their wedding line is handpainted for a more personal touch. riflepaperco.com

life of adventure

classic cuffs

Inspired by the rich New England heritage of the company, Timberland has created a range of pastel and monochromatic boots for the adventurous woman. Made from premium leather and recycled materials, these boots were designed to brave the great outdoors in style. timberland.com.au

Deakin & Francis have produced the world’s finest cufflinks since 1786. This pair of 18ct yellow gold and Amethyst cufflinks are elegant and classic—an essential accessory for any groom. deakinandfrancis.co.uk

raise your glass Lorena Gaxiola’s Teal Soft Rocks Glasses are available in three sizes, making them ideal for the wedding day and beyond.

Each mould is hand-blown by Californiabased artisans to ensure a uniqueness like no other. lorenagaxiola.com

looking back

balance out Aveda knows when it comes to haircare, the scalp needs some attention too. Their Purifying Scalp Cleanser invigorates and refreshes with its plant-derived cleansing agents and natural aroma. Go to aveda.com.au

Founder of the stunning One Day Bridal label, Kyha, has introduced an ultra-feminine yet modern range inspired by all the influential women in her life. The 1985 collection (named after the year of her birth) features daring silhouettes and sweet fabrics, with embellishments that add a touch of glamour. See more of the range at onedaybridal.com.au

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white loves

B E B R AV E “LOVE, MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIP, FAMILY …

IT’S ALL A RISK. LOVE IS AN ACT OF COURAGE.” Words: Lizzy Milani—Pocket Fuel | Photography: Irena Balashko

M

y mum once told me that just weeks before her wedding, her father took her to Fiji to reflect and

be sure she was marrying the right man. And that on the morning of her wedding day, he told her, “It’s not too late to back out.” It was just weeks before my own wedding, and I thought that perhaps she was about to whip out tickets to Fiji, Bali, maybe even Europe, so I could be afforded the same reflection. I thought, “Is she asking me in some passive aggressive manner if I’m making the right choice?”

Love, marriage, relationship, family … it’s all a risk. Love is an act of courage. When you’re committing yourself to love a person through all the different seasons and circumstances of your life, you’re saying, “I do”, to the unknown, the attachments, the experiences past and present, the family and friends, the dreams and hopes of another human. That kind of vulnerability and openness can be intimidating. The wedding itself can sometimes stand as a welcome distraction to the melding of two lives. You have seating plans to make, a cake to choose, a dress to find, a honeymoon to book … it’s easy to get lost in the details of a single day rather than

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own kind of bravery, too.

~

Aunt May calls to tell you that she won’t sit next to your

“IT TAKES COURAGE TO BE HONEST AND

cousin, Jeffrey, because he hasn’t spoken to his father, Nick,

VULNERABLE AND TELL YOUR LOVE WHAT KIND

in 10 years and that kind of behaviour can’t be supported.

OF RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT, AND TO HEAR THEM

make plans for all the ones after. Wedding days need their

Your cousin, Jeff, rings and tells you that he’s not coming if you invite his dad, which you totally get, but your Uncle Nick has always been like a second father to you, and you were going to seat him at the “good” table. Your partner’s parents are divorced and are likely to start a battle of galactic proportions if they’re not appropriately distracted. Your fiancé has, like, 500 brothers and wants all of them to be in the bridal party, but you only planned on a girl-band of three. You want to wear ivory, but your grandmother will turn her nose up if you don’t wear white.

Weddings and marriage bring out all kinds of things for all kinds of people. It can quickly become about the expectations and judgements and heartaches and jealousy of others.

Navigating the often delicate and thin line of relational harmony, for the wedding day and beyond, is a challenge. To which I

TELL YOU THE SAME IN RETURN.”

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~ “RELATIONSHIP ISN’T CUT AND DRY. IT’S WARM AND COMPLEX AND MISTY AND RADIANT AND DIFFICULT AND BEAUTIFUL. ALL THE BEST THINGS ARE.”

will channel my late grandfather, but instead of whisking you

committing to. But also who they love, and who loves them.

away to Fiji so you can ponder the future, you can consider

And who you love, and who loves you in return. Relationship

these points right where you are.

isn’t cut and dry. It’s warm and complex and misty and

1 You can spend your pre- (and post-) ceremony days trying

radiant and difficult and beautiful. All the best things are.

to make everyone happy; music and flowers and drinks

Gandhi said, “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is

and venue and image … You could wear the dress your

the prerogative of the brave.” Weddings bring up all kinds of

grandmother likes. You could leave people off the guest list

things for all kinds of people. Looking back now I know that

to pacify the hurts of others. You could forgo food choices,

my mum told me that story as a way to ask me a question

namely your favourite peanut butter ice-cream, to ensure

she didn’t want to ask but felt she should since she loved

everyone stays alive (which might actually be a good idea

me so much. She didn’t want me going through the silent

… maybe). You could compromise everything to ensure

pain she was in.

everyone else’s terms are met.

A lot of the time, the questions and the expectations placed

2 Do it on your terms. Your wedding day and your marriage

on a couple in lieu of their big day are a reflection of their

can be built on the expectations, judgements, and opinions

family’s joy and well-meaning, yes, but also their fear and

of others; societies standards for what ceremony and

pain and worry. It’s easy to ignore these fears, pretend they’re

relationship success looks, feels and sounds like. Or, you

not there, wish them away … but the brave? They listen. They

can build it on your terms, in your own time, in your own way.

love through it with grace and humility. Courageously, with no

It takes courage to be honest and vulnerable and tell your

guarantees, they choose to love, which means letting Aunt May

love what kind of relationship you want, and to hear them

tell her story. Telling cousin Jeffrey his pain is seen, but Uncle

tell you the same in return. It takes courage to listen to all the

Nick is invited anyway, and can he be brave, too, for just a

differing demands and opinions about what your wedding

few hours? And it also means that their mum gets to ask the

(and marriage) should look like, and how it should happen, and

question, “Are you sure?” (whether you’re in Fiji or not), and

who should do what, where and when, and decide to do it

they take it to heart before they answer. Love will do that.

on your terms instead.

Sometimes courage is letting the mess be what it is; walk

And just for fun, here’s a third perspective: 3 Maybe you need

that damn aisle in your ivory dress anyway (sorry Grandma),

to dance between both these ideas. After all, committing

glide amongst the beauty and the complexity, not just to

your love to another person isn’t something you do on your

the end of the red carpet, but into the beautiful, courageous

own. There are other people involved. Namely, the one you’re

dance that love is.

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consequence. See, facing fears is necessary, although it’s also not forced upon you. You can actually live your life not confronting woes quite easily. The parable goes, “A man who is afraid of flying makes sure he catches the train. He makes sure he never feels scared. But does it mean he is fearless?”

Fear is a big one. A BIG one. The little dogs that chased me when I was young grew into big wolves. They didn’t live down the street. They set up camp in my heart.

I lost love when I was in my early-bird twenties. It was my first love and I was too naive and sheltered to understand other people’s life circumstances. I looked at this beautiful young man as my soulmate. His hard life circumstances seemed romantic to me. “If I just love him with all I am, I will love him healthy,” I wished. Well I couldn’t. Now I realise it wasn’t my

NOT FOR ME

job. It was a worst-case scenario situation and depression actually took his young life. It left an excruciating mark. A lasting mark that was created from a blueprint of pain and

“I BOYCOTTED RELATIONSHIPS FOR YEARS BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER NOT TO FACE MYSELF.”

fear … fiery wolves roamed my heart.

When I met my husband, these wolves howled. Not in a good ‘Jacob from Twilight’ way either. It sounded like,

Words: Emma Plant | Photography: Alex Carlyle | Model: Ruby May

“Careful, love can turn”, “Men will never be trustworthy”,

@therubymay

and this cracker … “You hurt people”. My childhood scares seemed like lovely butterfly kisses compared to actual debilitating fear. I avoided the plane to take the train. I

I

f you had asked me if I was afraid of anything when I was young, a small list would ensue; being the last one

boycotted relationships for years because it was easier not to face myself.

to get picked up from school, getting chased by the crazy

When I did get married, I didn’t get married easily. The

dog that lived on my street, not being able to find my mum in

wolves were howling, and I bloody did it anyway. I shared

Woollies or missing out on dessert. Well, as you can imagine,

everything with my husband during our wedding planning.

I faced all these fears.

I didn’t leave a stone unturned. Somehow, the vulnerability

A vague parent often hustled to come pick me up at an hour where my school didn’t look friendly, but prison-like instead.

That crazy dog did indeed chase me. A friend recently reminded me that the ravenous dog cauterised in my mind

of saying the scary things out loud subdued them. It even bonded us in our engagement. Good comes from courage.

The funny thing about fear is that it is a coward. It does a lot behind your back, but when you do face it, it runs.

was actually a puppy of the Shih tzu breed. I did lose my mum in Woolworths. Many times I hugged a random mum’s ‘mom-jean’ leg (back in fashion!), only to make a Home Alone face and dash. And dessert? More than anything I truly feared missing out on dessert. Yet when parents weaponised dessert, bratty behaviour lost the battle.

It’s all small-potatoes when you are young. It almost seems as if ‘life’, God bless ‘er, starts preparing you from birth. Fear is inevitable, facing fear is necessary and courage is the

~ “FEAR IS INEVITABLE, FACING FEAR IS NECESSARY AND COURAGE IS THE CONSEQUENCE.”

Each shot is more pure and emotionally-filled than the last. olguinphotography.com.au | @olguinphotography

TRUE COLOURS

“ACCESSORIES ARE THE EXCLAMATION POINT OF A WOMAN.”—MICHAEL KORS

CREATIVE DIRECTION AMANDA JONES—THE HONEST JONES thehonestjones.com PHOTOGRAPHY ALEX CARLYLE alexcarlyle.com.au STYLING ASSISTANT MOLLY JONES—THE HONEST JONES thehonestjones.com

LILAC LOVE HEEL BODEN bodenclothing.com.au NAIL POLISH KESTER BLACK kesterblack.com FRAGRANCE PHILOSOPHY philosophyskincare.com.au HEEL BARED bared.com.au CLUTCH FROM ST XAVIER fromstxavier.com.au BRA LONELY lonelylabel.com EARRINGS ASOS asos.com/au RING KAREN WALKER karenwalker.com

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true colours

GO GREEN BOOT SENSO senso.com.au NAIL POLISHES KESTER BLACK kesterblack.com HANDBAG KAREN WALKER karenwalker.com HEEL SENSO senso.com.au BRALETTE LOVE STORIES lovestoriesintimates.com.au EARRINGS POLLI polli.com.au EARRINGS LUNA + WHIRL lunaandwhirl.bigcartel.com

HEART OF GOLD BOOT ALDO—THE ICONIC theiconic.com.au BOOT MATISSE—THE ICONIC theiconic.com.au FRAGRANCE BOTTEGA VENETA bottegaveneta.com/au RINGS ABBY SEYMOUR abbyseymour.com CLUTCH ASOS asos.com/au EARRINGS LUNA + WHIRL lunaandwhirl.bigcartel.com EARRINGS SAMANTHA WILLS samanthawills.com NAIL POLISH KESTER BLACK kesterblack.com

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true colours

PRETTY IN PINK HEEL BARED bared.com.au NAIL POLISH KESTER BLACK kesterblack.com PURSE OKTOBERDEE oktoberdee.com.au NAIL POLISH KESTER BLACK kesterblack.com FRAGRANCE DIANA VREELAND PARFUMS—MECCA mecca.com.au FLAT BODEN bodenclothing.com.au BRALETTE LOVE STORIES— KITTY K kittyk.com.au EARRINGS OBUS obus.com.au

JUDY COPLEY C O U T U R E

judycople yc outur e .c om

AT A L OS S “IT WAS NOT WHAT I HAD EVER IMAGINED MY WEDDING TO BE LIKE.” Words: Vanisha Mishra-Vakaoti —A Life Un-Styled | Photography: Jordan Voth

days of merriment, with lots of people. It would have been extravagant and fun. But once everyone left and the petals on the floor withered, Patrick and I would be left to live our marriage on our own. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to begin our marriage on our own?

To begin in the way we wished to continue. Just the two of us. As we truly are. Without having to ‘behave’ or suppress who we are so as not to offend family. It made sense that the most important people at our wedding should be us; that any stress or concerns should be ours and should be about our relationship, not about an event.

We sat in silence on our way to the lawyer’s office on our wedding day. I was thinking about my father and my family.

I silently told myself that this didn’t mean I didn’t love them, it was just something we were doing for us. We would be left to live the good times and not so good times of our marriage

T

here was no-one. At our wedding. No-one. Just the two of us. An unresolved argument with my father. The

on our own, and we were choosing to do this—to get married—on our own.

passing of my mother-in-law. A stubbornness on my and

Eight years on, we’ve built a life on our own and

my husband Patrick’s part. The circumstances surrounding

strengthened our relationship. We reached a place that has

our familial relations almost gave us permission to do what

allowed us to reconnect and build a wonderful relationship

we wanted, the way we wanted. It was not what I had ever

with my family and between our families. We began slowly,

imagined my wedding to be like.

unrushed by the conventions of weddings. Guided instead

We decided to get married in Hong Kong, over 8,000 kilometres away from our families and friends in Fiji.

We got married in a lawyer’s office. The office itself was underwhelming. When I first saw it, I was reduced to tears.

by what we felt were the necessities to developing a strong relationship—time and space. We knew the celebration of our relationship would come. Our wedding day wasn’t the only day that the people we love could celebrate our love.

This, this was where I was going to get married? I lashed out at Patrick. I was upset and frustrated. Why couldn’t things be different? Why couldn’t I have the huge wedding that the eldest child of an Indian family (me) is usually accorded? I was angry, and I felt hate. Hate towards my

~ “THE CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING

family, towards Patrick and towards myself. Perhaps I should

OUR FAMILIAL RELATIONS ALMOST GAVE US

have tried harder to make peace. But doing so for the sake

PERMISSION TO DO WHAT WE WANTED, THE

of a wedding wasn’t right. It took me the afternoon to gain

WAY WE WANTED.”

perspective. It was at this point that I really thought about what my ‘dream’ wedding would entail. It would have been

Luxurious keepsakes to share beautiful moments in. @le ros e _on lin e s hople ros e .c om

FACING INSECURI T IES

“THE DECISION TO STEP OUT OF FEAR, OUT OF BROKEN AND THOUGHTLESS INSECURITY, IS THE GOLD THAT LIVES IN US.” Words: Erika Croxford | Photography: Julie Paisley Photography

I

nsecurity speaks the language of anxious minds; it can ask for you to set aside your heart as it assails your

thoughts, blinding you to the eternal, infinite amount of possibility you possess as a woman.

It wasn’t that long ago that these doubts and voices of insecure thinking overshadowed my light and possibility. For me, insecurity felt like doubt; doubting myself in unknown waters. It was believing a lie about myself.

If I rewind about 19 years, I remember my husband, Rye, always being so sure. He seemed ever-confident in himself and in us. And I thought about what people thought of us—way too much. We were just babies, really, when under the stars he asked me to be his wife. I was in love and I didn’t want to wait for reasonable; we didn’t want to wait for reasonable. We were a young couple from Newcastle, Australia with big dreams. I felt the discriminative eyes pronouncing, ‘childish’.

33

facing insecurities

When we were engaged, I had this recurring nightmare that my middle-aged youth leader was my only bridesmaid, and that I was aiming to walk the aisle on trestle tables covered in satin, wearing stilettos with socks. Horror, right?

Now, I see it for what it was: the doubt in my mind. Thoughts paraded my headspace, “Who is really celebrating with me?

We are so young and we have nothing.”

We were young, so young. But in that moment of insecurity and doubt, I decided to let the light in and let honesty talk.

Everything starts with a decision; for us, for me, my future started with that single decision.

I spoke honestly to Rye about what I was thinking and it made me really nervous to bring all of my private thoughts out and share them with the man of my future. What I found in that moment was the beginning of something that has

~ “WHEN WE ARE FACE TO FACE WITH OUR

continued to serve me well throughout our marriage and life.

When we are face to face with our companion, when we are truly honest, finally our souls can speak truthfully. If you are insecure, you really need to pluck up the guts to be honest

COMPANION, WHEN WE ARE TRULY HONEST,

with the one you love. Honesty will pull the thorn of doubt out.

FINALLY OUR SOULS CAN SPEAK TRUTHFULLY.”

At every level of growth I have had to face insecurities, those internal and external voices that fed me lies; that created a cloud of doubt. The scenery changed from time to time but the inner dialogue was coming from within, and I was taking it everywhere I went. The lies would whisper to me, “She is brighter, more alluring and capable than me. I am actually small, very small and I do not have anything brilliant or exciting to offer.” Comparison is a beast and it is on a rampage. And you need to tell it to shush.

I think it was five years into our marriage that I realised that seventy percent of my mental traffic was congested with stuff like this and I didn’t want to live confined anymore—I wanted to fly high. We all need to fly high.

35

facing insecurities

Intimidation will steal your confidence and your ability to find your voice. It has taken me years, but this is where I have truly landed. I am the heroine of my own story, and I say to you: you are the heroine of your own story. You get to write the manual. Your life is your greatest work of art and it’s a

~ “IF YOU ARE INSECURE, YOU REALLY NEED TO PLUCK UP THE GUTS TO BE HONEST WITH

gift; it is yours. You get to decide what colours to paint the

THE ONE YOU LOVE. HONESTY WILL PULL THE

picture. So, I did just that.

THORN OF DOUBT OUT.”

Fast forward 17 years and after countless honest chats with Rye about how I was really feeling, I have begun to silence the insecure internal dialogue. I now know clearly that I want to speak to the students of life, to the creatives, the outsiders and nonconformists. I know I can do this because I am a secure woman, wife and mother.

My marriage is full of wonder! Make no mistake, we have our troubles, but the decision to step out of fear, out of broken and thoughtless insecurity, is the gold that lives in us and thus it lives through us. It seeps out through our marriage, through the ones we love, through our children and their children and provides a safe place to love and grow and inspire, to dream and climb higher. Up to the high places we go!

I design for a confident woman who dares to embrace herself in whatever she encounters in life. withlovebymallika.com.au | @withlovebymallika

ADVENTUROUS SOULS “EMBRACE A DREAMSCAPE SETTING UNDER THE STARS WITH YOUR FOREVER GANG.�

Photography: Dawn Thomson Photography | Florals: The Vase Flora & Foliage Styling: Under The Wild Stars | Dresses: Leave Her Wilder | Earrings: Tomoko Jewellery | Furniture + Decor: Gypset Style & Hire | Grazing Table: Lavish Grazing Co | Makeup: J.E.T Makeup Artist | Hair: Pure Hair Studio | Stationery + Signs: Paper Darling | Silk Ribbons: Feathers & Stone | Location: Moke Lake, NZ Models: Holly Tatom-Cross, Jess Wang, Emma Simpson, Ella Malusching

O

ur skilful array of vendors inspire and delight with a fanciful feast of food and florals, simplistic stationery

and exquisite furniture, offset by picturesque scenery and swept up by subtle earthy tones and natural beauty. Celebrating love and adventure, the untamed wilderness sets the scene for a modern take on the classic bridal shower. Whisked away to the mountains of New Zealand, our bride is blindfolded and taken to the most beautiful set up, with wild flowers and fresh produce that bursts with bold colours. Embrace a dreamscape setting under the stars with your forever gang.

39

adventurous souls

~ “WATCH WITH GLITTERING EYES THE WHOLE WORLD AROUND YOU BECAUSE THE GREATEST SECRETS ARE ALWAYS HIDDEN IN THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACES.”—ROALD DAHL

41

adventurous souls

~ “LIFE SHRINKS OR EXPANDS IN PROPORTION TO ONE’S COURAGE.” —ANAÏS NIN

43

adventurous souls

B R AV E B E A U T Y SHE EXUDES BOLDNESS + GRACE. Words: Makeup By Ashley Tani | Illustrations: Inkling Design

BOLD BRAID This beautifully structured braid paired with a subtle eye and a bold lip will have all eyes on you. First, curl your hair away from your face then part your hair with the majority on one side. French braid your hair to the side your part is on and secure with an elastic. Tug on the loops of the braid to give you that undone look. Finish with a few strands out to frame your face. Sweep a soft champagne eyeshadow over your lids and open up your eyes with two coats of mascara on the top and bottom lashes. Make your lips pop with a bright berry shade and add a touch of highlight to your cupid’s bow.

SLEEK + CHIC This slicked-back hairstyle will give you a trendy feel while still staying classic and timeless. Flat iron your hair until it’s stick straight then brush it straight back with a paddle brush. Rub a pea-sized amount of styling gel between your hands and run them over your hair from your forehead to the nape of your neck. Take a comb through your hair to work the product in for that sleek look and set with hairspray. Add a creme highlighter to your eyelids and cheekbones for a dewy bridal glow. Place a warm, peachy blush to give a natural flush to the cheeks and finish off with a wispy set of lashes and a strong brow.

45

brave beauty

F IE R CE LY F E MININE “HER COURAGE WAS HER CROWN AND SHE WORE IT LIKE A QUEEN.”—ATTICUS

PHOTOGRAPHY ELIZABETH MESSINA elizabethmessina.com GOWNS ALEXANDRA GRECCO alexandragrecco.com HAIR + MAKEUP CHRISTINA BURNS cbstylist.com ACCESSORIES LUNA BEA lunabea.com MODELS PHOTO/GENICS photogenicsmedia.com

DRESS WILDER GOWN

47

fiercely feminine

THIS PAGE DRESS IRIS GOWN—FLORAL OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS SAWYER GOWN

49

fiercely feminine

THIS PAGE DRESS PARISI GOWN OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS SAWYER GOWN—EMBROIDERED

51

fiercely feminine

THIS PAGE DRESS IRIS GOWN JACKET QUINN JACKET OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS AMELIE GOWN

53

fiercely feminine

THIS PAGE DRESS CELINE GOWN OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS COCO GOWN

55

fiercely feminine

THIS PAGE DRESS NICO GOWN OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS LANA GOWN

57

fiercely feminine

K ATE + TRENTON A U S T R A L I A

“YOU INSPIRE ME TO BE YOUR MATCH, YOUR EQUAL AND YOUR COMPLEMENT.” PHOTOGR AP HY Jord a n Knight Photo

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59

K ATE + T RENTON

DEAR TRENTON You are the other half to my whole, my

and I am looking forward to the rest of our

perfect fit. You complement me in every

lives growing and exploring, creating and

way. I am grateful beyond words to know

laughing. I promise to always put us first, to

you, to love you and to cherish you in all

prioritise your happiness and friendship and

that you are. Over the last eight years you

to show you the same kindness and grace

have shown me the greatest kindness and

you show me. I’m excited for what our

compassion, not just for myself but the

future holds and the places we will travel,

world around you—it’s part of what drew

but mostly I’m excited to get to know you

me to you in the first place. I am in awe of

more every day and to love you with every

your passion, your gentleness and your love

fibre of my being.

61

K ATE + T RENTON

DEAR KATE I feel myself around you. You make me feel safe, feel seen, like I’ve been met as who I am and as I could be. In the ways we are the same, we thrive.

In the ways we are different, we remind each other that life meets in the middle—on neutral or common ground, and when that doesn’t exist, we make it and we fight to protect it. I adore your passion, I admire your strength and I treasure your patience. You inspire me to be your match, your equal and your complement. I can’t imagine life, happiness or even myself without you entwined through every part. I am always yours.

63

K ATE + T RENTON

CEREMONY + RECEPTION The White Room, Newcastle NSW PLANNING + STYLING + FLORALS + STATIONERY Two W ild Hands SHOES W itchery HAIR Suki Hairdressing MAKEUP Makeup by SMR GROOM’S SUIT Trenery RINGS Rhys Tur ner Jewellery Design STATIONERY Fielding Milligan (handmade paper) CATERING Fennel + Co Catering HIRE + SETUP The Wedding Designer, Beavis Party Hire ACCOMMODATION Sustainable Surrounds Dwellings

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K ATE + T RENTON

TEI + JESSE U S A

“AS WE FACE THE WORLD TOGETHER, WE WILL YOU DO SO IN STEP, WITH BRAVENESS, KINDNESS, GRACE AND A SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE.” PHOTOGR AP HY L ev Kup e rma n Photogra p hy

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67

TEI + JESSE

THE PROPOSAL Jesse proposed over champagne and

gift right before we were about to move in

local oysters from the North Haven Oyster

together. It was a complete surprise when

Company at the farm in North Haven, Maine

Jesse said, “There’s one more thing,� and

which is my family home where I grew up

asked me what I thought about getting

over the summers. He made a hand-drawn

married. He proposed with a gorgeous

and watercoloured book that illustrated our

ring he had custom-designed with Caitlin

relationship and all the fun and travels we

Mociun. It was a complete surprise for me

had together so far and presented it as a

and completely exhilarating!

69

TEI + JESSE

WEDDING PLEDGE We will pursue a life together filled with joy, passion and laughter. We will help each other to better understand the world while also looking for ways to see it new. We promise to listen to one another with patience, understanding and generosity so that we may continue to challenge each other and grow together.

In a life full of competing demands, we promise to be present and attentive to one another so that we may find sanctuary together. As we face the world together, we will do so in step, with braveness, kindness, grace and a spirit of adventure.

CEREMONY Cubby Hole, North Haven, Maine RECEPTION Cubby Hole Farm GOWN + SHOES Custom Bottega Veneta H AIR + MAKEUP Suite 303 GROOM’S SUIT Thom Sweeney RINGS Mociun FLORALS Pamela Mountain STATIONERY Krank Press CAKE + CATERING + DRINKS + TRANSPORT Nebo Lodge HIRE + SETUP Wallace Events CELEBRANT Seaver Leslie

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TEI + JESSE

MEL ANIE + LIAM N E W

Z E A L A N D

“MY LIFE FOUND MEANING WHEN I MET YOU.” PHOTOGR AP HY D awn Thomson Photogra p hy

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CARLIE + SCOT T

DEAR MELANIE Last December when we exchanged

from our experiences and always keeping

wedding vows, I told you that you give me

our sense of humour. When life’s important

strength when I am weak, and that you

moments arrive, I want us to be present in

bring me happiness in countless moments

the moment, and to share these experiences

of everyday joy. I also promised to support

as one. When faced with challenges, I know

and respect you, and encourage you to be

from experience that I can always rely on

all that you can. In their simplicity, these

you to stay true to our vows, and provide

words sum up my hopes and dreams for

me with strength and happiness even in

our marriage. As a couple, I hope that we

the most difficult circumstances. Melanie,

continue to grow stronger together, learning

I promise to love you infinitely.

77

MEL ANIE + LIAM

DEAR LIAM My life found meaning when I met you, and now I couldn’t imagine it any differently. I never thought I would actually meet someone that could make me feel so loved and free.

You lift me up and allow me to believe that I can accomplish anything. We will travel the world together, and see and experience so many new and exciting things, but what I look forward to most is the quiet moments before we fall asleep at night, the funny jokes we will share and walking in the door after work each day knowing that you will be there. These are the times we should love, cherish and reflect on the most.

This isn’t a dream for us, this is our reality. “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”—John Lennon. I vowed to be your companion in life; to always be there for you; to encourage and inspire you. I hope to live by these words I spoke on our wedding day and to be able to show you every day the meaning of them for years to come. We are now in this life together, and we will make it a truly great adventure.

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Cedar Ridge, Queenstown GOWN Anna Campbell HAIR Beautiful Bridal Hair MAKEUP Charm Beauty JEWELLERY PANDORA (earrings) GROOM’S SUIT Uberstone—David Jones RINGS Michael Hill (groom), Prouds the Jewellers (bride) FLORALS Orange Blossom Designs CAKE Cup & Cake Queenstown CATERING + DRINKS In2food HIRE + SETUP Queenstown Wedding Hire, Hirepool CELEBRANT Phillipa Cook

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MEL ANIE + LIAM

JESS + ALEX A U S T R A L I A

“YOU ARE THE JOY OF MY LIFE, THE LOVE OF MY HEART AND MY REASON FOR LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST.” PHOTOGR AP HY Finc h & Oa k

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83

IDA + PETER

DEAR JESS They say that you don’t marry someone

are my other half. The years we have

you can live with, you marry someone you

spent together and the milestones we’ve

can’t live without, and to me that completely

passed have been the happiest of my life.

encapsulates how I feel about you. I never

I took my wedding vows as both a promise

realised what I was missing out on before

and a privilege. I love being your husband.

I met you, but now life without you feels

Thank you for being my wife. I cannot

empty. In eight years, the longest we’ve

imagine a day where I don’t say, “I love

been apart was 10 days and it honestly felt

you”, and I hope we always continue to

like a lifetime—I wasn’t me without you

find love and happiness in making one

and I couldn’t wait to hold you again. You

another happy. Forever.

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JESS + ALEX

DEAR ALEX Since we met everything has changed, and yet I am more me than I’ve ever been. You aren’t my whole life, but you make me whole. I smile at the thought of you. I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me. My favourite place is in your arms. I still tear up when I think of the moment you asked me to be your wife. You are the joy of my life, the love of my heart and my reason for living life to the fullest. You make me happier than I could ever have imagined and more loved than I thought possible. I hope that no matter what our future holds—maybe kids, maybe not, one cat, maybe more—and the challenges we may face, that our love and overwhelming want for each other gives us strength, patience, hope and perseverance. Because we are better together and will be together forever. That is my promise to you.

87

JESS + ALEX

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Redleaf Wollombi, NSW PLANNING + STYLING + STATIONERY + HIRE The Wedding Collector (bride) WEDDING COORDINATOR I Do Crew GOWN Idora Bridal (ceremony), Haney (reception) SHOES Chloé HAIR + MAKEUP Michelle Dubé JEWELLERY T iffany & Co. GROOM’S + GROOMSMEN’S SUITS The Tailors Co. BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES Pasduchas RINGS Grew & Co (bride), Linda and Co (groom) FLORALS Pushing Pansies CAKE The CakeChef CATERING Sprout Catering HIRE + SETUP Beavis Party Hire, Whimsical Fox Events, Opulent Events, Pretty Pedestals, White Roses Styling CELEBRANT Trish W ise

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JESS + ALEX

GEMA + MAT T U S A

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS BUT I’M HONOURED YOU CHOSE ME TO WALK SIDE BY SIDE WITH YOU IN THIS LIFETIME.”

PHOTOGR AP HY I n Fra me s Photogra p hy

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91

GEM A + M AT T

DEAR GEMA We have been together 10 years now since

that I will support you for the rest of my

our first date. You are as beautiful now as

life here on earth and if there is an afterlife,

the first day I met you. Your sincere smile

which I believe there is, I will guide, protect

and the way you laugh at all my worst jokes,

and support you there as well. You are the

I can never get enough of. I am truly happy

reason I work so hard every day—for our

and I hope that you know how much you

futures and our soon-to-be family’s future.

mean to me. I hope that we live together

I do hope that we can raise successful

into our old age and that we get to do all

humans that will achieve their own success

the things that we want to accomplish in

surpassing our own. We have many years

this lifetime; that we help everyone around

together ahead in this life and I am as of

us, get to travel enough and don’t work too

now very excited about our trajectory. We

hard but remember life is all about having

will continue to accomplish great things.

fun. That is the most important part. Know

I love you babe from now until forever.

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GEM A + M AT T

DEAR MATT After 10 years of growing and cultivating our relationship, we finally tied the knot! I’m excited to experience a lifetime of magical and transformative adventures with you. I can only hope that our union as husband and wife will bring us nothing but endless love, fun and blessings. I look forward to the day we become parents and welcome a third person in our little group and grow as a family. You are my best friend, my person, my penguin and I thank God that I can wake up and see your face every morning, go on treasure/gold hunts with you and awesome road trips, camp under the stars or just chill at home and watch documentaries on a Friday night. Nothing beats hanging out with you. I don’t know what the future brings but I’m honoured you chose me to walk side by side with you in this lifetime and hopefully the next.

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GEM A + M AT T

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Wolf Feather Honey Farm + The Intrepid W ild COORDINATION + FLORALS Madmade Designs GOWN Rue De Seine SHOES UGG HAIR + MAKEUP V ixavage Makeup Artistry JEWELLERY Love Tatum (cuff), Bahgsu Jewels (ring) GROOM’S SUIT Mi Moda Italian Suits RINGS Princess Bride Diamonds STATIONERY Michaela McBride Calligraphy CAKE Jenny Wenny Cakes CATERING El Charro Tacos DRINKS Mint Bartending HIRE + SETUP W itty Rentals CELEBRANT Shaman—Parminder Randhawa

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GEM A + M AT T

BEC + KIRK I N D O N E S I A

“WE AREN’T PERFECT PEOPLE AT ALL, BUT WE ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.” PHOTOGR AP HY Be c k R oc c hi

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99

A SHLY N + E R IK

THE PROPOSAL Bec and I met on the 10th December in 2010.

outrageous that it wasn’t her thing, so I was

It was always easy for me to remember that

more than happy to keep it low-key! After

because of the lead up to Christmas and other

stressfully following Bec around at her family

events on at the time. I saw Bec for the first

home for 20 minutes trying to get her

time heading in after my lunch break—I was

organised, I finally got her alone and in the car

so distracted that I walked straight into a bin

with only two minutes to spare. Before we

and fell over. We worked next door to each

took off for lunch, I put on a song we love

other and I ALWAYS had my break at 12pm

and as the clocked ticked over to 12:30pm

so it was easy to know the first time I saw her

on the 10th December, six years later to the

was at 12:30pm on that day. Now I knew with

second, I nervously pulled the ring out of the

the proposal that if I planned anything too

side door and the rest is history.

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A SHLY N + E R IK

AS A COUPLE …

Bec: We are best friends! We’ve lived together pretty much from day one. We spend most of our time together, rarely get sick of each other and we always have the best fun. Kirk and I just work better as a team. Where I lack he picks up and vice versa. We are strong believers in honesty and communication—it’s what has kept us so strong for many years! Kirk: We are definitely best mates, and right from the start we had some really good habits.

We always had the tough conversations and addressed any issues straight away—I think through that we learnt quickly and it only deepened our bond and understanding for each other. It wasn’t long before we were inseparable.

We aren’t perfect people at all, but we are so perfect for each other. I think the way Bec and I had our wedding shows that we don’t shy away from doing our own thing.

In saying that, we are certainly in our element with takeaway food and a recorded show on Foxtel (so we can fast-forward the ads), perfectly happy in each other’s company. We very rarely do things apart from each other—I’m just as happy and comfortable having a beer with the lads when I bring Bec along! Why wouldn’t you spend all your time with the greatest person you know?

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bec + kirk

CEREMONY + PLANNING + CATERING Alila Hotel, Seminyak, Bali GOWN Mariana Hardwick SHOES Sportsgirl JEWELLERY T iffany & Co GROOM’S SUIT M.J. Bale (jacket + shirt), Quiksilver (pants) BRIDESMAID’S DRESS Morrison GROOMSMEN’S SUIT Rusty (shirt), Country Road (pants) RINGS Charles Rose FLORALS Kintan Florist CATERING Neon Palms CELEBRANT Andy Pratomo

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bec + kirk

CHELSEA + NICK A U S T R A L I A

“WE RESPECT, TRUST AND DO OUR BEST TO CARE AND LISTEN TO ONE ANOTHER.” PHOTOGR AP HY Be n Ad a ms

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107

JESS + SHANE

THE LOOKS I had never really thought about what my wedding dress might look like before getting engaged—the most important thing to me was to look and feel like myself when I married Nick. I chose my gown for its simplicity with a little bit of a bohemian feel.

I didn’t want to feel too bridal, so I accessorised with earrings and burgundy velvet shoes. There were a lot of decisions, so I definitely reminded myself many times that marrying the man I love was far more important than what I was wearing! Nick worked with the very skilled and stylish team at P. Johnson Tailors. He wanted to feel fairly casual and navigated the endless options of having something created incredibly well. The end result was exactly what he had hoped for.

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JESS + SHANE

THE STYLE We wanted our wedding to be intimate, simple and fun, so we had a party to celebrate our marriage. Nick and I agreed instantly that The Boathouse Palm Beach would be the perfect location for us. We know and love The Boathouse team, and the setting is breathtaking, so there was very little we needed to do when it came to the venue.

Jessie at Freesia Kahlo is a floral artist so the brief for our flowers was very relaxed; we wanted to enhance and complement the setting, so we looked at what was in season together to create a romantic, wild and hand-picked feel. From there, Jessie worked her magic and our flowers looked more beautiful than we could have imagined—she even managed to source lotus flowers!

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C helsea + N ick

CEREMONY + RECEPTION + CATERING + DRINKS The Boathouse Palm Beach, NSW GOWN Temperley London SHOES Jil Sander HAIR Edwards & Co MAKEUP Liv Lundelius JEWELLERY Oscar De La Renta—Pierre W inter Fine Jewels, Sarah & Sebastian GROOM’S SUIT P. Johnson Tailors RINGS Elias Creations FLORALS Freesia Kahlo STATIONERY Riley & Grey

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C helsea + N ick

DOUBLING THE DRE A M WHAT’S BETTER THAN LIVING THE DREAM? LIVING TWO, OF COURSE! RICHARD MILLER TAKES HIS HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS … AND THEN PUTS IT RIGHT BACK. TWICE. Words: Richard Miller | Photography: Caleb John Hill

W

hen I was a kid, my dream was to become an

Despite our long talks about the future, I didn’t appreciate my

astronaut or a secret agent. A bit later, I wanted

future wife’s dreams. In fact, I’m ashamed to say, I dismissed

to be an archaeologist or a park ranger. And later still, with

them. A life built around relationship, family and friends? Um,

an earnestness that’s a bit painful in hindsight, a writer. I

maybe after I’ve published a bestseller. Or two. A family of

understood that all of those vocations would involve long

our own—kids? No way, double no. Veto.

hours alone. (It’s safe to say I was not then, nor have I ever been, the life of the party.)

You’re not likely to be as thoroughly selfish (not to mention delusional) as I was. But all this fantasy was driven by fear

But that was OK by me. And I blissfully assumed it would

that my real self wasn’t enough. Not enough for my wife, not

be OK by my future spouse. Getting married, so I thought,

enough for a marriage that would go the distance, certainly

wouldn’t affect the rest of my life. Marriage would be a

not enough for any children we might have. And that kind of

lifelong series of romantic dinners and leisurely breakfasts

toxic self-doubt might be bubbling away inside you, too.

before I kissed my belle goodbye and flew to Mars/foiled another criminal mastermind/shut the study door and smashed out another Booker Prize-winner.

It took me a long time to realise that I was living in fear, and even longer to be convinced that my wife loved me not despite who I am, but because of who I am. And, slowly, the

By the time I fell in love for real and we started talking

way I thought about the future changed. My dreams didn’t

seriously about marriage, my dreams of exploring space,

supersede hers, nor hers mine. We would only flourish when

digging up dinosaur bones or writing a New York Times #1

we found a way to help each other achieve the dreams God

bestseller had all been punctured pretty thoroughly.

had put in our hearts, for ourselves and for each other.

But I still had no way to integrate someone else’s dreams into

To make our marriage stronger and richer, we had to move

my future—even though it was actually our future. My vision

beyond the day-to-day conversations and start asking

of marriage was hopelessly solipsistic.

questions like: “What do you want most from life?”, “What’s your dream, and how can I stand by you, support you, lift you toward it?”, “Who do you most want to become, and how can I help you become that person?”.

It’s only when you start to have those higher, deeper conversations that you’ll realise what your spouse’s true dreams are—and your own. You might be surprised by what you find. But work out a way to actively support each other as you chase them. Because, as with joy, a dream shared is a dream doubled.

~ “I STILL HAD NO WAY TO INTEGRATE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAMS INTO MY FUTURE—EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ACTUALLY OUR FUTURE.”

Authentic moments creatively captured. adaandivy.com.au | 0423 737 666

R AY O F H O P E

“LIFE CAN UNRAVEL SLOWLY, IN SOFT WAVES OF GROWTH, ADVENTURE AND LEARNING, OR LIFE CAN BE RELENTLESS—CHALLENGING EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND EVERYTHING YOU ARE … ” Words: Sharon Luecke—The Bare Bride | Photography: India Earl Photography

I

hadn’t been back to the place where I grew up in almost 10 years, so of course I was feeling anxious as I

drove through my childhood neighbourhood—experiencing nostalgia in every sight, sound and scent.

From an entire adolescence living in the same home, I knew where the cracks in the pavement were and which direction the roots bent in our backyard trees from years of walking on both with small, soft feet. I could navigate this suburban town and find the chocolate milk in the local convenience store without giving any thought or energy to it. Here, it was second-nature, as if no time had passed. This place was undeniably the same, and yet it felt strikingly different.

Standing in the presence of what was once so intimately mine years and years ago, made me feel it for the very first time—how vastly the years had changed me. I was seeing, sensing, experiencing the same things but through different eyes, hands, and an older, wiser heart.

I never expected to experience such a similar nostalgia—the longing for what once was—within my marriage, after only a

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ray of hope

~ “BUT TRY AS WE MAY, LIFE IS NOT SOMETHING THAT WE CAN PREDICT. LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS SOMETHING WE CAN FULLY PREPARE FOR.”

few years of doing life with my beloved. But the truth is that life can unravel slowly, in soft waves of growth, adventure, and learning, or life can be relentless—challenging everything you have and everything you are in every which way.

Today, I stand upon our first three-and-a-half years of marriage.

Among blossoming piles of romance, laughter and joy, our marriage also rests upon piles of career changes, financial scarcity, relational heartbreak, family drama and grief. Sometimes I could swear I’m sinking more than I am standing.

In my mind, this is not what our first few years of marriage were supposed to be. In my mind, our love story would look like dear, loyal friends gathered around a long farmhouse table piled with organic food that we could easily afford and filled with lighthearted stories from our European travels and latest life discoveries. I’m a dreamer, I’ll admit.

But try as we may, life is not something that we can predict.

Life is not always something that we can fully prepare for.

And I’ll also admit that I do feel shame when I say that more often than not, my husband and I have sat alone at that long

table with bills on our plates and more painful questions than

backyard—there was nothing that brave, innocent heart

heartwarming stories. I feel shame when I acknowledge that

could not conquer. I remember sprinting as fast as I could

the ‘honeymoon phase’ of my marriage has been a constant

through the shade of the big oak tree to breach the cool

struggle with hopelessness.

darkness and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin once again.

And so we inhale. We find our way to bed. We reach for

There is hope here, in the light. When I open my palms, I can

each other beneath the sheets. We trust, once again, that

feel it. This is my ground. I claim it. I may not know all of the

the exhale will come. And in the morning, we still see one

cracks in the pavement or in which directions the deepest

another, know one another. We can navigate our love like

roots grow just yet, but this is my wild now. This is my story.

second nature. I sense him. He senses me. We are still us.

I’m here to learn, I’m here to love and be loved, and I’m not

But there’s no denying it—the harsh demands of the world

going anywhere.

have crept in and wounded the innocent love that once was.

If anything should be a driving force beneath the rising from

As a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed tomboy, I remember

the pain, the confusion, the heartbreak, let it be love. May we

running barefoot throughout the wilderness of my own

always let it be love.

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ray of hope

T HE R E L AT IONSHIP TA L K BE BRAVE AND FACE THESE CHALLENGING QUESTIONS ON ‘COURAGE’.

Photography: India Earl Photography

1

WHAT DOES OUR MARRIAGE LOOK LIKE THROUGH YOUR EYES?

2

3

DO YOU EVER DOUBT THE LONGEVITY OF OUR RELATIONSHIP?

ARE THERE ANY ISSUES THAT YOU WOULD LIKE US TO RESOLVE?

4

5

HOW DO YOU THINK WE CAN STRENGTHEN OUR MARRIAGE?

WHAT GOALS/ DREAMS DO WE SHARE?

6

WHAT DO YOU FEEL IS OUR BIGGEST STRENGTH?

7

8

WHAT DOES A STRONG MARRIAGE LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

WHAT DOES UNCONDITIONAL LOVE MEAN TO YOU?

9

DO YOU BELIEVE OUR LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL?

10 WHAT AREAS CAN WE IMPROVE IN OUR MARRIAGE?

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11

12

HOW CAN WE SERVE EACH OTHER?

DO YOU THINK WE HAVE A HEALTHY MARRIAGE?

the relationship talk

FINDING COUR AGE “A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE REQUIRES FALLING IN LOVE MANY TIMES, ALWAYS WITH THE SAME PERSON.”— MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN Photography: Tish Carlson—Matt & Tish Photography

T

his Issue, we’re venturing forth, daring you to press in and dig deep with your partner so that your marriage

ahead is a journey of love and adventure. We asked three couples to follow a set of guidelines designed to help them grow in courage. See how they fared, and dare to take up the challenge yourself at the end of this editorial.

HEIDI + ANDREW: BE PRESENT Andrew: Distractions are most commonly a manifestation of socially acceptable and subtle instances of selfishness. This means that by allowing distractions into our time together, we’re simultaneously growing further apart and more selfish. I think that one of the prominent sources of distraction in our lives comes from our technology. So to harness our distractions, we put our technology in its place.

‘Airplane Mode’ and ‘Do Not Disturb’ became our good friends. Heidi: One of my distractions is house hunting. I have been taking a step back from that endless search to appreciate the good things in the season my husband and I are in. I found pockets of peace as I allowed myself to take in the beauty already present in our lives. And I learnt that when I give Andrew my full attention, I am reminded of how thoughtful and fun he is.

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finding courage

BECCA + DAVID: STAY VULNERABLE David: I’m pretty vulnerable—as the husband, I’m the

strengthened. Becca + David: Being present with my partner

sensitive one. I think it’s tough to be vulnerable, but it makes

and spending quality time together is one of the small joys

you a more approachable, open person. I know it’s tough

in life that comes free, and was probably the best part of my

for my wife, but when she does, she opens her entire heart.

week. We think it’s so rewarding to take time to appreciate

Becca: It takes a little bit of downtime with all the business

and recognise everything that we have to be grateful for daily.

of life for us to really dig down to more vulnerability, but the

When we’re not distracted by to-do lists, work and kids, we

connection is so powerful when we both let down our guards

can keep the focus on all the things we have to appreciate

and delve that much deeper in. Our relationship just gets

and why we fell in love with each other in the first place.

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finding courage

KELLY + TONY: FIND STRENGTH It’s easy to get lost in our phones or not take time to be

difficult time of our lives. She’s 100 per cent healthy now,

alone because of our busy jobs! After the kids go to bed,

but looking back, it’s amazing to see how we came together,

we do get to enjoy our quiet time together or watch shows we

and when one person felt weak, the other was strong. We

both love. We also try to go on at least one date each week!

affirm each other daily by showing each other our different

We don’t typically have a hard time being vulnerable with

love languages, whether it’s affection, words of affirmation

each other. When one feels down the other one is really

or quality time. Honesty is also extremely beneficial—whether

good about lifting the other up. Back when our one-year-

you’re excited or upset, it’s always good to be honest and

old daughter was diagnosed with cancer, it was the most

share your feelings.

TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE

1

Be present:

Show up:

First off, write down

Have a chat to your

2

a list of distractions;

partner about who

things that are keeping

you want to be in your

you from connecting as

marriage and ask how

a couple. Paste them

your partner sees you.

up on the wall and this

Compare the two,

week, the goal is to see

identify the deficit, and

how you can shift your

get to work!

focus back towards your partner.

3

4

Be vulnerable:

Dream together:

5 Sensitivity goes a long

Open up:

Set aside a night to

Sit down together and

share your insecurities

individually write a list

way, but don’t hold

with each other and

of your dreams. Read

back in opening up

let your partner affirm

your lists to each other

to your partner. Some

and share how they

and chat about your

things are hard to

see you. You’re on this

hopes and dreams for

share and hear, but the

journey together—

the future. How will

outcome will be deeper

delve deep.

you make it work?

intimacy.

What needs to be refocused?

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finding courage

STILL THE ONE I LOVE

BOB + PAM: UNCONDITIONAL FRIENDSHIP Photography: Jac & Heath Photography

T

o look at Bob and Pam is to see the true definition of marriage; a union celebrated with compassion and

kind gestures. 64 years on, and this sweet pair still walk hand-in-hand—Bob even insists on opening the car door for Pam to this day. They are inseparable. On an average day you’ll find the two of them alongside each other in their yard; Pam developing a beautiful garden of colourful flowers and natives, and Bob meticulously tending to the lawn and hedges. Read on to learn how this genuine couple found each other, and what it has taken for them to still be together today.

How did you meet? Pam: We met at the dental surgery I was employed at. Bob was a patient having some fillings done and I was the dental nurse. There was an attraction from the start. The dentist must have noticed something because one day he said, “I’ll give you five minutes together before I come in.” Eventually, Bob rang the surgery and asked me to go to the pictures. We went to the Royal Theatre and it all continued from there. Bob: Pam was a dental nurse and I was a patient in that practice. I couldn’t help but notice the beautiful dental nurse with auburn hair.

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still the one I love

Do you remember your wedding day? What was it like?

How have you kept your relationship strong all these

Pam: It was a very emotional day. My dad left us when I was

years? Pam: It’s the simple things. We spend time doing

nine years old. Mum divorced him three years later. Mum felt

things together, we support each other practically and

she reared me, and as she was paying for the wedding, she

encourage each other verbally. We have continually shown

decided he was not going to have the honour of walking me

appreciation to each other, taking nothing for granted. All

down the aisle and giving me away. When asked, both my

these years later, I truly appreciate Bob more each day. We

uncles declined, so the dentist’s (my employer’s) father, Cecil,

love each other and when we said our marriage vows, we

said he would be delighted to do the job. My father and his

meant them; we would be there for each other in sickness

wife came to the church and sat at the very back. I was tearful

and health, in the good times and the bad. We have never

as I came down the aisle and tearful again when I saw my

given ourselves any other options. We have kept to our

father as we walked out. The ceremony was absolutely lovely,

commitment. Bob: There’s no boss in this relationship. We

and I felt so secure when I reached Bob at the altar in the

discuss all major decisions and decide what we should

Wesley Church in Hamilton. I was 20 and Bob was 26. We

do. We don’t move on a major decision until we have both

had our reception in Scott’s Dining Room (which became David

agreed. We care deeply about each other, so we talk. We

Jones) with just 40 guests. We had our one-week honeymoon

are always looking for the best outcome for the both of us.

at Austinmer, near Wollongong. Bob: It was a good day. Not a

The other thing is, we do nearly everything together. We

big, lavish affair—more family orientated. I still remember seeing

really do enjoy each other’s company. Pam is my best

Pam walk down the aisle and feeling like the luckiest man alive.

friend and I am hers.

~ “DON’T BE HALF-HEARTED ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE. GO INTO IT WITH THE MINDSET THAT THIS IS FOR LIFE, THEREFORE EVERY DAY COUNTS.”

How did you know your partner was the one? Pam: I had a strong attraction to Bob. He was kind, considerate, thoughtful (he brought me flowers on occasions) and very respectful. We had the same ideals. Bob: I think there is a natural instinct involved. We had many things in common.

What advice do you have for young couples? Pam: Don’t ever take each other for granted. Continue to work on your relationship together, communicating with honesty and integrity. Talk face to face; your body language shows how you really feel, which may be totally different from the words you are speaking. Don’t expect your partner to know what you are thinking. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Solve quarrels quickly, and don’t go to bed angry.

Develop a sense of humour—it helps to reduce the tension.

Bob: Complete dedication—don’t be half-hearted about your marriage. Go into it with the mindset that this is for life, therefore every day counts. Treat each other with respect.

Be genuine about everything you do.

What is marriage to you? Pam: It’s a joining together, ‘two becoming one’. It’s a lifelong commitment, till death do us part. Learning to compromise. It’s both people giving and taking. We are really blessed to still have each other. Bob: A complete bonding and a complete unselfish love for each other. It’s being committed to giving more to the other person than you take and somehow it all works out in the end.

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still the one I love

CHERRY CAKES

THE BRIDESMAID STUDIO

Cherry Cakes creates custom-made works of art for weddings and functions. Working with couples to ensure beautiful, oneoff designs that combine stunning looks and delicious seasonal ingredients, their offering will have your mouth watering!

Sydney fashion pair Caitlin and Bonnie have launched the ultimate bridesmaids’ destination for brides and their squad.

The Bridesmaid Studio is the first Australian venue to stock US mega-labels such as Monique Lhuillier (sizes range from 00-32).

cherrythechef@gmail.com | cherry-cakes.com @cherrycakesblog

bonnie@thebridesmaidstudio.com.au | thebridesmaidstudio.com.au @thebridesmaidstudio

MUSE PHOTOGRAPHY

BETTY MAY VINTAGE HIRE

Preserving moments and telling stories humbly, Muse chases light and adventure wherever our couples lead us. We search for subtleties, and get excited by smaller, less obvious things.

We love mismatched craziness; celebrations that dare to mix up eras, or a rebellious wedding style. Hire our collection of vintage tableware, glassware and more, and make new magic with the old. Your wedding, your way with Betty May.

info@musephotography.net.au | musephotography.net.au @musephotography_thelifeofamuse

erin@bettymayvintage.com.au | bettymayvintage.com.au @bettymayvintagehire

THE WHITE TREE

CHIRPY PETALS

The White Tree are here to help you create and capture epic memories by providing live music, photography and film all under the one roof—all with the help of some of Australia’s and New Zealand’s most passionate, top, creative talent.

Chirpy Petals is a wonderful charity group that takes flowers from weddings and reuses them to donate to hospitals and nursing homes. Get in touch to put your florals to good use after your big day.

info@thewhitetree.com.au | thewhitetree.com.au | @thewhitetree

chirpypetals.com

BAKER BOYS BAND

NOAH’S ON THE BEACH

The Baker Boys are a premium, customisable band—at a sensible price. They host live showcases, so couples can preview them before booking. Their talented and professional musicians bring energy to every event!

Quality Hotel NOAH’S On the Beach is the premier beachfront reception venue in Newcastle with a beautiful view of the glistening Pacific. They offer four elegantly appointed rooms, a carefully prepared menu and unrivalled personal service.

info@bakerboysband.com.au | bakerboysband.com.au @bakerboysband

weddings@noahsonthebeach.com.au | noahsonthebeach.com.au @noahsnewcastle

JUSTIN KUNIMOTO PHOTOGRAPHY

IVORY AND STONE BRIDAL

My approach to a wedding: for you to have the most enjoyable, stress-free time celebrating with friends and family while I photograph moments of genuine smiles and laughter (and maybe a bit of partying too!).

Ivory and Stone Bridal creates exquisite, unique wedding dresses at an incredibly affordable price. They’re a New Zealand-based bridal designer and international online bridal boutique.

mail@justinkunimoto.com | justinkunimoto.com | @justinkunimoto

info@ivoryandstonebridal.com | ivoryandstonebridal.com @ivoryandstonebridal

CELEBRATE WITH JILLIAN

OWL & BEAR

Hey there, I’m Jillian—a friendly, warm, authentic celebrant who believes that starting your wedding day off right means a ceremony that’s a little bit sentimental and jam-packed with heart bursts. I’d love to marry you to your best mate.

Hey! I’m Chiara (aka Bear). To describe Owl and Bear—I am an event hire small business specialising in wooden furniture. There you go—I labelled it. tellmeyoursecrets@owlandbear.com.au | owlandbear.com.au @owlandbearperth

hello@celebratewithjillian | celebratewithjillian.com

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marketplace

IVIE WHITE

ANCHORED CINEMA

Ivie White creates elegantly cool gowns for bridal beauties with chic, innate style. Designed and made in Australia, their gowns allow for relaxed, effortless movement and sleek silhouettes.

We capture your special day in action, delivering uniquely filmed memories and moments that will last a lifetime.

info@iviewhite.com.au | iviewhite.com.au | @iviewhitebridal

hello@anchoredcinema.com | anchoredcinema.com @anchoredcinema

THE RIVERSTONE ESTATE

THE WEDDING NEST

The Riverstone Estate—a unique location for your wedding in rural Melbourne, situated amongst acres of vines with a 360-degree view of the Yarra Valley. Imagine spectacular sunsets, dancing under the stars and unforgettable weddings.

The Wedding Nest is a boutique wedding gift registry specialising in unique gifts that are design- and stylefocused—not available on other registries. Custom Wishing Well and Honeymoon funds are available.

mywedding@theriverstoneestate.com.au | theriverstoneestate.com.au @riverstoneestate

info@theweddingnest.com.au | theweddingnest.com.au @theweddingnest

EVERLAND PETAL CONFETTI

LOVE AND STUFF PHOTOGRAPHY

This beautiful, biodegradable petal confetti can be delivered right to your door. It’s available in personalised pouches, bulk boxes and confetti cones, and adds a little extra magic to your first steps as newlyweds.

“Love and Stuff Photography is for the adventurous hearts.

We celebrate your love and joy, minus the fake or cheesy poses—just a relaxed, fun experience to document all your authentic moments.”

hello@everlandfavours.com | everlandfavours.com | @everlandfavours

hello@loveandstuff.co | loveandstuff.co | @loveandstuffphotography

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