Issue 8 Fall 2015

The

PIONEER

Financial aid policies Under its current financial aid policies, Whitman can reject applicants based on their family’s lack of wealth. As opposed to being “needblind,” this “need-sensitive” position allows the college to evaluate a student’s financial need as part of the process in admitting them.

The other key piece to a college’s financial aid policy is the percentage of demonstrated need met. While Whitman has consistently met between 91 and 96 percent of demonstrated need in the

K E Y TER M S Endowment: A large fund built up by a college over several decades. Colleges invest their endowments and use the returns on these investments to cover part of the school’s budget.

Whitman’s comparison schools: A group of 12 liberal arts colleges identified by the administration as similar to Whitman in academic profile and student body.

Merit-aid: Financial aid awards that only benefit students with no demonstrated financial need.

Need-sensitive: A financial aid policy that allows a college to reject applicants based on their family’s lack of wealth.

Need-blind: A policy that prevents admissions offices from considering family wealth as a factor in admitting an applicant.

Demonstrated need: The amount of financial need an applicant is determined to have, based on the FAFSA and CSS forms filled out by their family.

Pell Grant: A federal grant specifically for students with higher levels of financial need.

Whitman’s financial aid awards were almost exclusively needbased. The college had a “needblind” admissions policy, which was retained until 2009.

*

15 32

53

68

82

WHITMAN RHODES

COLORADO COLLEGE KENYON

FRANKLIN AND MARSHALL

52

$149K

104 120 121 137 141 143

Rank

153

Infographic by Baker

past 10 years, the significant majority of the college’s comparison schools meet 100 percent.

For the class that entered in 2013, the most recent publicly available data, Whitman met an average of 92.9 percent of student need.

Why does Whitman spend so much on merit aid?

Whitman gives a greater percentage of its financial aid budget to merit aid than all but one of its peer colleges. In 2013-14, over 17 percent of Whitman’s financial aid went to students who had not demonstrated financial need, while this number was under nine percent for most of its comparison schools. If Whitman were to give a third of its merit aid funding to need-based aid, it could meet 100 percent of need.

Unfortunately, solving Whitman’s accessibility problem is not so simple. Tuition from wealthy students who receive merit aid makes up a large portion of Whitman’s budget, and merit aid is often a deciding factor for these students when they select a college.

Other liberal arts colleges in Oregon and Washington— including the University of Puget Sound, Willamette and Lewis & Clark— offer large merit packages to attract these same students. According to Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid Tony Cabasco, this competitive aspect, combined with Whitman’s somewhat isolated location, because the college to offer significant merit scholarships to students who don’t qualify for need-based aid.

“Our overlap Pacific Northwest colleges give more in merit,” he said. “If we did not need to spend the merit-based aid money to get those students to come, we wouldn’t have to. But that’s where we stand.”

Although it continues to spend more than other schools, Whitman

has been lowering the percentage of financial aid going to students without need over the last decade.

According to Cabasco, as the college’s reputation and “place in the market” of its peer colleges has risen, fewer wealthy students have needed merit aid to entice them.

“How you use merit aid corresponds to your position in the marketplace. Some colleges can draw and enroll students without significant merit aid. Others like Whitman need to use more of that,” he said. “It’s hard to get kids to come to Walla Walla, that’s the reality.”

President Kathy Murray, who was previously the Provost and Dean at Macalester College (which ranked much higher on the New York Times list at 52) said that both colleges operate with similar strategies in mind. Where institutions vary is in the amount they award.

“Macalester and most of our peers use merit aid in very similar ways, and that’s to increase yield of students who can pay a significant portion of the tuition,” she said. “The dollars that come in from those students help us to be able to fund the students with higher need. It’s the reality of the [college] marketplace at this point.”

Merit aid’s gamble: The class of 2019 Does Whitman run the risk of throwing merit awards at students who may not need to be won over?

Cabasco said it’s a possibility, and part of the balance his office strives for in making the college accessible.

“That’s one of the challenges we have: to make sure we set the proper amounts. You don’t want to spend too much [on merit aid], and you don’t want to spend too little.”

This challenge came into focus with the class that entered this fall.

Whitman did not raise the amount of-

*Amount Whitman would need to increase spending on needbased financial aid to meet 100% of demonstrated student need.

8

$107K

$173K $142K

UNION COLLEGE

OCCIDENTAL

Rankings from the 2015 College Accesibility Index published by the New York Times

$118K

$300K

DICKINSON

REED

COLBY

$318K

$157K

Whitman’s Financial Aid History: Prior to 1986:

$332K $329K

MACALASTER

$293K

1.2

million

$351K

$341K

CARLETON

$352K

Despite its large endowment Whitman continues to be one of the least economically accessible colleges in the country.

Why?

VASSER

R

ock bottom. That was Whitman’s place for the second year in a row on the Financial Accessibility Index. The index, which measure how well colleges support low-income students, was published by The New York Times in September. Last year, Whitman came in last of the 100 schools on the list. This time around, it was 153 on an expanded list of 179 schools.

Whitman’s endowment is strong and has grown significantly in recent years. So why does the college continue to struggle to provide access to middle- and low-income students? Despite having over 300k dollars in endowment per student, Whitman performed worse than any of its 12 comparison schools. No school below Whitman on the list has over 200k dollars per student, and 88 schools with smaller endowments per student ranked higher than Whitman.

While Whitman’s place in the higher education market limits its options, a number of decisions have led it to the point where it is now. Merit aid, direct giving from alumni towards the endowment instead of annual costs and the distribution of spending on financial aid and other costs all play a role.

ROCK BOT TOM DAVIDSON

Editor-in-Chief & Investigative Director

Endowment per Student

by SARAH CORNETT & LACHLAN JOHNSON

ISSUE 8 | Oct 28, 2015 Whitman news since 1896 | Vol. CXXXVII

fered in merit scholarships, unlike many other Pacific Northwest colleges. Harvey and Cabasco believe this is the reason the incoming class fell short of its enrollment goal by 30 students, as wealthy students chose to attend other schools.

Though this year’s class has more socioeconomic diversity than previous years with more first-generation and Pell Grant students, the college is currently facing a budget shortfall. As a result, merit aid will likely increase next year, and is unlikely to end in the near future.

“We did better in yielding students who had financial need...

But [what happened this year] is not sustainable,” said Cabasco, referring to the budget deficit. “You either need to increase revenue or cut expenditures to make it work.”

How does percentage of needmet fit in? Cabasco said the college’s current gap would be the first priority if more money was made available to need-based aid.

“It would take about 1.2 million dollars, today, to meet the demonstrated need of everyone who is here at Whitman,” he said. “My sense would be, given that our approach has been ‘let’s do a better job of taking care of our students who are already here,’ [we would meet 100 percent of need] before we expand the socioeconomic numbers.”

Where are the gifts going?

Redistributing funding is not the only way the college could find the funds needed to meet 100 percent of demonstrated. If the college were able to increase its overall income by two percent, it could also reach its goal. Funding comes primarily from three places: program service revenue, the endowment and annual gifts from alumni.

Program service revenue includes net tuition, room & board and

Illust

ration

by R

ever

e

bookstore profits; in other words, what students and their families pay every year. At Whitman, these costs usually pay for about 78 percent of total expenses, compared to 70 percent of total expenses at schools with similar endowments. Because Whitman has the same policy regarding its endowment as these schools, the difference likely comes from the amount of annual giving.

According to John Bogley, Whitman’s Vice President for Development & Alumni Relations, Whitman receives a similar amount in gifts from alumni every year as its comparison schools. It is difficult to determine how each of these schools spends their gifts. However, according to Harvey, other schools generally have two to three times as much unrestricted giving, money that is not donated for a specific purpose and the college can spend however it feels best.

While direct statistics are not available, evidence suggests Whitman differs from other schools in that more gifts from alumni tend to go into the endowment or be contributed for specific purposes, and fewer are available for unrestricted use in the year they are given. see FINANCE page 4

Shifts in Whitman’s financial aid policies in the last 30 years have led to a decline in socio-economic diversity.

1986-1991:

The college began meeting 100 percent of student financial need.

This significantly increased student economic diversity, and the number of Pell Grant recipients reached 18.5 percent. However, enrollments declined, and the college faced budget shortfalls.

1992:

Whitman began offering merit scholarships, with the goal of increasing enrollment and stabilizing its finances. It also stopped meeting 100 percent of students’ demonstrated need.

The Pioneer closely examined these historic policies shifts and their consequences for an online feature this week. To read it, go to the News section on whitmanpioneer.com.

1992-2009:

Enrollment stabilized, and the academic profile of students increased with the onset of merit aid. However, economic diversity drastically declined. By the mid 2000s, an average of only 10 percent of students received Pell Grants.

2009:

Motivated by the financial crisis, Whitman abandoned its “needblind” financial aid policy and transitioned to “need-sensitive.”

Global Studies on Hold for 2016-2017

by LANE BARTON News Editor

T

he status of Whitman’s Global Studies Initiative in 201617 is uncertain after Interim Provost and Dean of the Faculty Pat Spencer officially announced on Oct. 21 that faculty would not receive course releases for participating in certain parts of the initiative during this time.

Some members of the faculty are upset with the proceedings, decrying the clarity and methodology of the decision. They also cite the importance of course releases (which allow faculty to reduce their course load requirements if they are working on other substantial projects) to the func-

tionality of the Initiative and worry this decision could effectively end Global Studies. Conversations between the administration and faculty about the future of Global Studies are still ongoing.

“[Last] Tuesday, we were told that no aspect of the program would be functioning. That kind of unilateralism...defies the codes by which we typically operate at Whitman. ” Professor Elyse Semerdjian Chair, Global Studies Initiative

“I think this situation is going to change dramatically in the next week or two. At the very least, I anticipate many more conversations,” said Professor of Psychology and Chair of the Faculty Melissa Clearfield.

The Global Studies Initiative was established in June 2008 after a proposal from faculty earned a 345,000 dollar, three year grant from the Mellon Foundation. The Initiative now exists with support from the college and involves five major aspects: a Global Studies Director, who with a Steering Committee composed of other faculty is responsible for managing funds and programming under the Initiative; a fall faculty development seminar, which includes discus-

sions of globalization from different perspectives; a summer course enhancement workshop put on by faculty who participated in the fall seminar; a spring Global Stud-

“What I am concerned with is the fact that [course releases take] sometimes some of our best faculty out of the classroom.”

Pat Spencer

Provost and Dean of the Faculty

ies Symposium open to all of campus; and interdisciplinary courses for students developed by faculty involved with the fall seminar.

Currently, both the Director

and participants in the fall seminar are given course releases. According to Spencer, the decision to remove this option for 201617 was done in part to allow the new provost who will be arriving next fall the maximum ability to review the Global Studies Initiative during the impending strategic planning process.

“I think it’s important that initiatives that are developed are periodically reviewed. Not to see whether they should continue to exist but to see if there are new directions that we could go, and this is the critical time to do that, I think, with the transition and the new Provost and President, and a new vision for the college,” Spencer said. see GLOBAL STUDIES, page 2

WHAT’S INSIDE THIS ISSUE?

Inside News

A&E

Feature

Opinion

Pio Hour

Protesters attended the Women in Leadership Symposium on Thursday, Oct. 22 to bring awareness to the lack of women of color.

Whitman art students celebrated Latino history with the annual Dia de los Muertos celebration at Gesa Powerhouse Theatre.

Whitman’s trapshooting club challenges gun stereotypes on campus.

Professors Jennifer Cohen (Economics) and Lisa Uddin (Art History and Visual Culture) chime in on the Global Studies controvery.

PAGE 2

PAGE 4

Host Julio Escarce interviews Semester in the West students about their final podcast projects and discusses research with anthropology professor Jason Pribilsky.

MONDAYS, 10-11 A.M.

PAGE 6

PAGE 7

NEWS

PAGE

2

How Whitman could meet 100 percent of financial need

from FINANCE, page 1

“That’s a strategy we consider at times: should we try to raise the amount of gifts coming in? There’s a balancing act between how much you spend immediately, and how much you invest in the endowment to have long-term sustainability,” said Whitman’s Treasurer and Chief Financial Officer Peter Harvey.

Giving is influenced both by what the college requests and what alumni are predisposed to give to.

If it chooses, the college could ask alumni to contribute gifts to use for meeting 100 percent of need in the year it is given. This would make it easier to meet 100 percent of need, but it would slow the rate of growth of the college’s endowment.

Why can’t the endowment help?

Whitman’s endowment provides for the long-term financial stability of the college. In the last five years, it has grown rapidly due to successful investments and the concentration of alumni donations.

Most colleges, including Whitman, take five percent of their endowment every year to pay for annual costs. To keep the endowment steady, Whitman calculates the endowment’s average value in the last three years. It then spends five percent of this number on the budget, and assumes there will be two percent inflation. For the last decade, the average college endowment grown seven percent a year.

“In theory you can [spend more every year], but I don’t recommend it. The purpose of the endowment is to exist in perpetuity, it’s to make sure it provides the

same level of support to students today as it is to students in ten years from now, twenty years from now, fifty years from now,” said Harvey.

To meet 100 percent of need, Whitman would need to spend less than half a percentage more each year. However, administrators are reluctant to do this as it could risk the college’s financial future.

Whitman cannot spend all revenue from its endowment as it likes. Oftentimes, donors specify a use when they give to the college. One third of the revenue from the endowment is specifically committed to financial aid. Another third is unrestricted; right now, this third is entirely committed to financial aid as well. The last third was donated for instruction, academic support, the physical plants and to cover other miscellaneous costs.

Whitman recently raised 165 million dollars for the endowment and other projects through the Now is the Time campaign. Not all this money is available today, as a portion is in the form of pledges which will be paid over five years, and in estates which will be given to the college when alumni pass away.

However, of the 50 million dollars raised for financial aid, 35 million dollars are in use today, and much more is available from unrestricted funds raised by Now is the Time.

In the most recent year, it would have taken 1.2 million dollars to meet 100 percent of financial need for students. If the endowment had 24 million more dollars committed to financial aid last year, the revenue from this addition could have covered this difference. Despite the endowment’s rapid growth, it has not

been able to match 100 percent need in recent years. However, depending on its financial decisions in the future, it may one day reach this goal.

The future of financial aid Data from colleges is usually released two years after the year over which it was collected. Changes Whitman made following its poor performance on the College Accessibility Index last year will only begin to be seen next year. It is likely that Whitman’s rank will improve, though this is not guaranteed as the ranking is relative and other colleges may have improved accessibility as well.

However, no permanent policy changes have taken place. Most of Whitman’s peer schools meet 100 percent of need for the students they admit. While everything has a trade-off, there are a number of areas where Whitman could divert or raise funds to apply this policy. It could trim merit-aid and other areas of the budget, raise tuition, redirect alumni giving or take advantage of the larger endowment.

Financial accessibility is likely to be one of the topics discussed when President Murray heads a committee to form a Strategic Action Plan next year.

“I am a product of significant financial aid as an undergraduate. I was given access as a student who could not possibly afford to go to the institution I went to, so for me this is a really important piece. But I also have a responsibility to make sure the budget balances,” said Murray. “We will absolutely be thinking about this during the strategic planning process. “

Who pays the bills?

Macalester

Whitman

Davidson

Program Service Revenue are the costs usually paid by students. Despite its high endowment, Whitman students pay about 80 percent of the college’s overall expenses, much more than similar schools. Data from most recent IRS 990 forms.

Who gets the aid?

Macalester

Davidson

Whitman

Whitman gives more financial aid to students with no demonstrated financial need than comparable schools that placed far higher on the NYT College Accessibility Index. Data from most recent Common Data Sets. Infographics by Mercer Hanau.

What does “accessibility” mean?

T

he Financial Accessibility Index judges schools based on two factors: the percentage of incoming students receiving federal Pell grants, and the netprice for a middle-income family.

Pell grants are given to students with significant financial need, and is used to determine how many low-income students are on campus. The net-price measures is meant to determine how well these students are supported.

There are some small problems with the data used by the New York Times. While the government and colleges determine financial need based on family income and a number of other factors, such as siblings in college and the family’s investments, the New York Times list focused solely on income. In addition, the

definition of net-price middle-income changed between this year and last. While last year it was defined as 30k-48k dollars, this year middle-income was redefined as 48k-75k dollars. The actual mean income nation-wide has hovered around 48k dollars for the last decade, adjusting for inflation.

There is also a gap of about two years between the data reported by colleges and their most recent year. Though no comparison can be done with other colleges, Whitman share of Pell grant students has risen in the last two years, so it may expect to rank slightly higher in the NYT in the future. However, the issue remains that many colleges similar to Whitman in other regards do far better at being financially accessible.

Raising tuition: a surprising option for increased access

W

hitman could generate more funds for needbased aid by raising tuition for wealthy students. Though Whitman’s tuition has increased greatly in recent years, it is actually six percent lower than the average for its comparison schools. It’s net tuition, however, is only two percent lower. What this means is that wealthy students are paying less at Whitman, while students with financial need at paying more. Changing Whitman’s tuition to be the average of its comparison schools would help raise the funds needed to meet 100 percent need.

But similar to eliminating merit aid, this could backlash by causing fewer wealthy students to attend.

OCT

28 2015

Global Studies aspects suspended from GLOBAL STUDIES, page 1

Faculty are questioning whether Spencer’s decision is truly a “review,” as it effectively suspends some parts of the Initiative based on how it currently functions. Most concur that review of programs and initiatives like Global Studies is important. However, many feel that it unnecessary to make a decision that limits some aspects of the Initiative and then postpones an assessment for an extended period of time. Moreover, the Steering Committee was planning to review the program last weekend and assess ways to improve it before Spencer’s sudden announcement.

“Given the explanations I have heard so far, which have not referenced any specific financial troubles or impending enrollment pressures, I personally don’t see the need to put the current program components on hiatus in order to carry out a meaningful evaluation of its success or to plan for its future,” said Division II Chair Nicole Simek, who was part of the group that drafted the original proposal for the Mellon grant, in an email to The Pioneer.

Faculty also expressed concern about the way this recent ruling was made and explained.

Although Spencer stated that he spoke with administrators, some Trustees and the Committee of Division Chairs about the possibility of putting course releases on hold, he did not consult the Global Studies Director Elyse Semerdjian or members of the Steering Committee prior to informing of them of his decision on Oct. 20. Additionally, his initial explanation that day implied that all parts of the Global Studies Initiative would be suspended, something he clarified at a faculty meeting the following day to apply only to course releases.

“On Tuesday, we were told that no aspect of the program would be functioning, not even the symposium. That kind of unilateralism, without consultation with me, with no consultation with the Steering Committee at all...it defies the codes by which we typically operate at Whitman, which is consultation with faculty, shared governance, [and] transparency,” said Semerdjian.

Spencer acknowledged that his procedure was “flawed,” but stands by the decision he made. He expressed concern about course releases taking faculty away from other courses where there is high enrollment. Both Spencer and Clearfield noted that some faculty have privately voiced similar thoughts, but were unlikely to speak publicly in faculty meetings or faculty listserves due to the nature of the conversation.

“I don’t want to minimize the amount of work and the amount of thought and the amount of effort that goes into any [part of Global Studies]. What I am concerned with is the fact that we’re taking sometimes some of our best faculty out of the classroom, and in turn they put pressure on other classrooms because those students don’t have one of those classes to take,” said Spencer.

With regard to course releases, some members of the Steering Committee note that the benefits extend far beyond the detriments of missing one course during one year, as the ideas and conversations supported by the Initiative can substantially affect a faculty member for many years.

“The kind of course release that [faculty] would get for participating in Global Studies does not impact [the] development of one course–it impacts every single course [they]

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teach from here on out for [their] duration on Whitman’s campus,” said Professor of Biology Leena Knight, a member of the Steering Committee.

Another issue is that while parts of the initiative could theoretically exist in 2016-17, any director managing the different parts of the program would need to compensated in some fashion. Similarly, the lack of course releases makes it unlikely that faculty could attend the fall seminar and consequently produce summer workshops and interdisciplinary courses on top of their normal duties.

“If you remove course releases, you can’t have somebody volunteer to take on the burden of directing this program, and how successful will you be in recruiting faculty to engage in this intense development seminar absent any space created for them?

If you do not get those two pieces, how do you generate a workshop, how do you then generate a symposium?” Knight said.

A major college-wide perk of Global Studies that could be missing depending on how the initiative functions in the future is the ability to attract and retain faculty. Many new faculty cite the program as a significant draw in their decision to accept positions at Whitman. “[Global Studies has] also been a way for us to recruit and retain a lot of faculty members, especially those who are thinking about diversity in new exciting, innovative ways. I think it continues to do that still as we hire for other positions and recruit... on the strength of a thriving program that engages faculty from all three divisions,” said Paul Garrett Professor of Political Science Shampa Biswas, a member of the Steering Committee.

The concern and confusion around the potential impact of this decision is also having immediate implications.

Some faculty are disheartened by the announcement and have spent valuable time trying to assess and address this issue in the chaotic week since the decision was announced.

“I’ve seen it devastate moral. Even in the short term, [many] faculty who have had time that they should have been putting into their classes and making their classes great this week are instead spending their time trying to repair damage...and recover from this poorly-made decision,” said Professor of Politics Aaron Bobrow-Strain, a member of the Steering Committee.

Behind the scenes, a variety of faculty members have written testimonials in support of Global Studies. Additionally, an open letter from students expressing concern over the status of Global Studies has recently garnered over 100 signatures.

But with this activity also comes the potential for a compromise. Various meetings between many key individuals, including the Steering Committee, Spencer, and President Murray, are scheduled this week to converse on the future of the Global Studies Initiative.

“I’m hopeful. I know that [Murray and Spencer are] both in difficult positions with all kinds of pressures on them – I appreciate that. But I think the massive upswell of support for Global Studies, the testimonials about its impact from students, from faculty, from alumni – all of that to me makes me feel optimistic,” said Bobrow-Strain.

Editor’s note: Additional thoughts from faculty on Global Studies can be found on page 7 in Opinion-Editorials.

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The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, The Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes letters to the editor in print and online.

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The code of ethics is reviewed at least once per semester.

To access the complete code of ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about.

The

NEWS

OCT

28 2015

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3

Students attending the annual Women in Leadership Symposium protested the lack of representation of women of color among the symposium’s panelists. Since 2011, only one of the 15 women invited to speak at the symposium has been a woman of color. Photo by Mutter

Protesters attend Women In Leadership Symposium

by MIKAELA SLADE Staff Reporter

A

group of female Whitman students gathered tonight at the Women in Leadership Symposium in order to protest the lack of diversity among the symposium’s panelists over the last several years; only one in fifteen panelists has been a woman of color since 2011.

After sending a multitude of emails to the Student Engagement Center over the last day, the protest group occupied the two front rows of the auditorium. Protesters silently held signs while all three panelists, Ann Watson ‘84, Maria Denny ‘84 and Sarah Geren ‘84 gave their speeches.

After the speeches finished, five student protesters stood up to give speeches on the lack of diversity on the panel. They argued that the symposium failed to adequately represent women in lead-

ership by hosting an overwhelming majority of white women.

One of the leaders who delivered a speech was junior Angela Tang. According to Tang, the problems with the seminar was not the panelists themselves, but the event’s lack of diversity and the repetition of this problem throughout the years. Tang then proceeded to read from a letter that was sent into the SEC. “While I am thankful that this program exists for this particular purpose, I will not be attending this event because I feel that it does not properly represent Women in Leadership,” said Tang. “Because all the women featured in your event are white, this event promotes an unrealistic notion that professional success if limited to women of a certain skin color.”

After these speeches, the first two rows in the auditorium and all those who were in support of their protest got up and left.

Whitman students write for The Odyssey

by SARA PLATNICK Staff Reporter

A

growing number of Whitman students are choosing to write for The Odyssey, an online platform geared towards millennials that describes itself as a combination of journalism and Buzzfeed, often focusing on more personal pieces or multimedia articles.

College students at Indiana University launched The Odyssey in 2014 as an exclusively online platform for millenials to write about issues that they felt was important. The Odyssey is currently involved in over 350 communities nationwide, and the number is expanding. Many colleges and universities, including Whitman, are a part of this network and the Odyssey shares Whitman’s articles on their website, and Whitman also shares links to their student writer’s articles through their Facebook page.

The Whitman Odyssey page was started in the summer of 2015 by sophomore Jordan Miller. Miller applied to write for The Odyssey after he saw an article posted on Facebook. Miller later brought on sophomore Tessa Dignum as assistant editor-in-chief. They both advertised the platform to the student body, and the writing staff grew from there.

“I actually saw a posting on Facebook, so saying that I brought it to Whitman gives me more credit than I deserve...[my friend] was talking about how there was this new opportunity and I could bring it to Whitman, and she asked if I was interested in taking it up,” said Miller.

The website is largely social media based, with over 90 percent of its content being encountered because it was shared through social media, according to The Odyssey website.

Writers are generally given freedom on what they can write on, and the format is open-ended. Articles often include either videos or gifs, and all of the content is written for the web.

Many of the writers cite seeing The Odyssey advertised online or on social media as reasons for wanting to write for them. Whitman currently employs over twenty students who write for the paper, and they are looking to gain more writers.

“I think as Whitman students we

are all generally talented writers and we are all pretty creative, and everyone is pretty witty, and so I think it’s just a great opportunity for people who are interested in doing some creative writing on the side or taking a break from academic essays. It’s a break from monotonous papers,” said sophomore Cherokee Washington, a writer for the Whitman Odyssey.

Writers are given free-reign over the topics that they can write on, and they are merely given a 500word estimate for their pieces. All articles are peer-reviewed by Whitman’s editors-in-chief and then they are sent to the New York offices where an editor reviews them. Article topics range from “Selfie Shaming: Spreading the Message that Self Confidence is NOT Okay,” written by Dignum, to “We all know what’s coming when you make that *abroad* Facebook album,” a piece by senior Logan Gomez As The Odyssey is completely composed of online publications, the articles published have a greater base of readers that they can reach.

“As far as readership, that was the most shocking part. There was one article in the first or second month where more people read it than there are students at Whitman and that was super surprising.

And so each month there are thousands if not tens of thousands of views, and for a brand new organization that’s pretty cool,” said Miller.

While Miller formerly wrote for the publication and acted as editorin-chief for Whitman-related content, he no longer writes for The Odyssey as his schedule does not allow for it. Dignum currently acts as editor-in-chief along with assistant editor-in-chief sophomore Zan McPherson. They are both in charge of finding new writers and editing all articles before they get published.

“I think that it’s a great way to voice your opinion and get your ideas out there. And it’s an open platform, so you have a lot of freedom about what you write and how you write it. And being able to share your articles with friends, with other schools, and other people, print can’t [do that], and so I think it’s just a great way to share your ideas and build your portfolio up,” said Dignum.

Outside Olin Tang gave a brief speech about what they had accomplished through their protest.

“What we are hoping to get out of this is more representation, but thoughtful representation, so not asking only people of color to attend this event; we are asking to be represented like we deserve to,” said Tang.

One of the main goals that protesters espoused was the ability to institute a student committee to select two of the three panelists for next year’s symposium.

“For future years we are hoping that two of the three panelist will be student-selected, and we expect that the people and the pool that we have to select from in significantly larger and [its candidates are]actually inherently different,” said Tang.

After listening to the protesters the panelists began to speak about what they do to integrate diversity into their own lives as well as ad-

dress the issues that were around when they were in college compared to the problems that are apparent today. Willoughby was optimistic that an agreement could quickly be reached to meet protesters’ goals, and complimented the protesters.

“They did it in a very civil fashion, they were clear, they were concise, and there was no doubt about what was in their hearts, and I think we need to accept that in exactly the same way.

I think they did a remarkable job of organizing this themselves and preparing statements for us all to hear, and them to hear in a very civil manner,” said Willoughby.

Members of the SEC, which does not select panelists but helps organize the event every year, was also appreciative of the protesters role in bringing awareness to an important issue.

“I think [the protest] raised a very significant issue that hasn’t been raised before and I think it

went directly to the person who is the decision maker about what this event is every year and I don’t have any reason to believe that it won’t be a very different session next year,” said Associate Dean for Student Engagement Noah Leavitt.

After the event, Leavitt noted his intention to talk with protesters who sent letters to the SEC and listen to their thoughts on how to improve both the Symposium and possibly other events the SEC is involved with.

“We are going to have a discussion with all of the students... who sent us letters before the event expressing their views about the panel,” said Leavitt. “We appreciated the time and the energy that was put into sharing some concerns about the event with us and we want to honor those and hear other things in addition to the composition of the panel that we [the SEC] can do, maybe unrelated to Women in Leadership.”

New student interns confront campus sexual violence

by ELLEN IVENS-DURAN Staff Reporter

B

arbara Maxwell, the Associate Dean of Students and Student Life, has hired six student interns to work on the issue of sexual violence prevention on campus. The interns, who started working at the beginning of the semester, have different focuses, from Greek life to first-year students to multimedia campaigns.

This group differs from existing student organizations, such as All Students for Consent (ASC), Feminists Advocating for Change and Empowerment (FACE) and Greek anti-sexual violence coalitions. Maxwell is adamant that the interns’ projects be seen as student-driven, and not part of a larger organization.

“I don’t want us to necessarily own these activities, my hope is that these five or six students are out here making a difference, empowering students,” said Maxwell, “I want everyone to feel like they’re a part of this effort.”

Sophomore Catherine Fisher is one of Barbara’s interns. She is responsible for the programming around issues of sexual violence prevention; she also acts as a liaison between ASC, FACE and Maxwell.

“What we don’t want to do is to be stepping on each other’s toes and duplicating each others’ efforts,” said Fisher.

Although Maxwell is working to avoid overlapping projects, Fisher is motivated by the commonalities that she sees.

“The more people working on the issue of preventing sexual assault, the better,” said Fisher, “I’m kind of focused on always doing more, not kind of saying ‘we’ve done enough’...There’s always more to be done, it’s not a process that ends.”

Beyond the efforts of Maxwell’s interns, which include designing Reid coffee sleeves listing the signs of Intimate Partner Violence and organizing tours of the fraternities for new sorority members, Maxwell is using prior relationships to get the word out. Sigma Chi used an endowed lecture fund to bring Dr. David Lisak, a researcher and expert on non-stranger rapists,

to Whitman last Thursday, Oct. 22.

Students who attended the lecture or spoke with Dr. Lisak seemed willing to engage with the topics that he brought up, which included institutional betrayal, rape myths and current efforts to combat sexual violence.

Katie Steen, ASWC’s Sexual Misconduct Prevention Advocate, commented on the insight his visit provided.

“Actually, based a little bit on conversations I had with Dr. David Lisak,” said Steen, “I was thinking a lot about how one thing we don’t do a really good job about is creating a culture where perpetrators, especially serial perpetrators, are not allowed to be within the norm.”

Part of the explanation is a certain amount of apathy on campus when it comes to issues of con-

“One thing we don’t do a really good job about is creating a culture where perpetrators, especially serial perpetrators, are not allowed to be within the norm.”

Katie Steen ‘16

ASWC Sexual Assault Prevention Advocate

sent

and violence prevention.

“Especially to first-year students, it may seem like everyone cares about this issue because you get so much talk about it during orientation,” said Steen, “It’s important that we remember that even with that visibility, there’s still a lot of issues, and we should be thinking about those issues critically on an everyday basis.”

Although consent has been a prevalent topic on campus for the last two years, Maxwell hopes to diversify people’s awareness of sexual violence issues. She believes that Intimate Partner Violence and male victimization are underreported and rarely heard beyond anonymous surveys.

“Based on our statistics, we have more men [than we think] experiencing either sexual violence or intimate partner violence,” said Maxwell, “but my sense is that there’s a lot of things that keep men from com-

ing forward. And it’s not the policy, and it’s not the reporting process, it’s things like rape myths that exist for men as well as women.”

It is destroying dangerous myths, and the cultures that produce them, that students as well as administrators have made the subject of their mission.

“Even more so that trying to be the police, and find those people we really need to disrupt the culture.

And that’s where we maybe aren’t doing a good job, because there are plenty of people who are really educated on consent, and who are really big proponents of this sort of initiative, but then there are also people who just let it happen, and who support their friends and their other peers because they think that they’re really great people, and they don’t really... act in a more critical way,” said Steen.

Key to this process is having students start conversations with each other. Senior Sam Crosby is another one of Barbara’s interns, whose focus on off-campus students has led him to consider how much impact he can have on Whitman’s culture as a whole.

“I feel like there are people who I just can’t reach...you might end up talking to the same people over and over again but some of those people will talk to people that haven’t been talked to before,” said Crosby, “It’s hard because you can’t, as one person, change everything, but still talking to the same people over and over again helps spread it further.”

Maxwell’s interns came onto a well-populated scene of student groups and leaders, who had achieved recognition from the administration and their fellow students. The addition of more voices doesn’t seem to have hurt the cause. If anything, it has increased visibility. There is danger, however, in complacency.

“I think there are some really great things that have happened recently however I think it’s a really problematic thing that many of us think, ‘Well, we do so much about consent, we do so much about sexual violence prevention, therefore it must not be an issue anymore.’ That’s absolutely not true,” said Steen, “[Sexual violence] is definitely an issue on our campus.”

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OCT

28 2015

Harper Joy Theatre debuts comedy “The Liar” over Family Weekend

by EMMA COOPER Staff Reporter

I

n the Harper Joy Theater from Oct. 22-25, Whitman students performed the comedy “The Liar.” Attended by hundreds of visiting parents and students alike, the show offered a fresh take on the original play, written in 1644 by Pierre Corneille.

Nancy Simon, retired Professor and Director of the theater, directed the performance, and put great consideration into its selection with Parents Weekend in mind.

“I knew it was going to be on parent’s weekend, so, yes, I used to like, when I was director of the theater, to have something for parent’s weekend that was very accessible to a broad audience and pretty and entertaining, festive.”

Simon praised both the theatric quality and whimsical, humorous content of the play.

“And our objective with it is, as I’ve stated it to our production staff and cast, is to makes people wet their pants laughing. So that’s one reason.

It’s also just a feast of hilarious, brilliant language.”

The play is written entirely in iambic pentameter rhymed verse couplets. But despite this Shakespearean language, Simon says it’s still accessible to any audience.

“The language is totally accessible but perfectly, wonderfully imaginative, it’s just really quite terrific. And it’s a fun story about young people.”

Since “The Liar” is a farcical comedy, its cast wanted to allow the audience to escape into a world full of farce and comedy. First Year Matthew Schetina said that performers hoped for the audience to leave the theater with smiles.

He said, “I hope they have a good time because it’s really funny, I hope they think it’s funny, but I also hope they kind of learn to not take themselves too seriously...and I think that’s important to not take yourself too seriously.”

Junior Kathleen McKeegan played Clarice, one of the main female roles in the play. For her, the play’s fun extended to the performance itself. Working under Simon’s direction, too, proved enjoyable and constructive.

“I loved the script; I thought it was super funny. Also, I adore acting and I’ve never worked with Nancy Simon before so I thought this was a great opportunity. But it seemed fun and it’s a period piece so we got to dress up in fun costumes, which is really fun. I loved the show.”

After five weeks of long hours of preparation for opening night, staff member Nina Vanspranghe was eager to bring the play to life for an audience.

“After five weeks, it’s just like those past days, that I’m starting to laugh less because we are really eager to have an audience, because over and over we are doing the same jokes but no one ever laughs because there is no audience. We’re really all yearning for an audience.”

Director Nancy Simon says that although the 1644 play ‘The Liar‘ is written entirely in iambic penameter rhymed verse couplets, it remains accessable to any audience. The play ran from Oct. 22 to Oct. 25. Photo by Bashevkin

Day of the Dead festival celebrates art, culture PIO PICKS Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend.

Here are this week’s picks:

Studio Alticoloré Grand Opening,

Thursday, Oct. 29, 5:00 p.m.- 7:00 p.m. 226 East Main St .

“The Mask You Live In” Film Screening,

Thursday, Oct. 29, 7:00 p.m. at Maxey Auditorium.

Whitman students sold art from printmaking classes at Walla Walla’s Dia de los Muertos street festival, which took place on Oct. 24 and 25. Photo by Stevens

by ERIC ANDERSON Staff Reporter

L

ast Sunday, Walla Walla residents were invited to the Gesa Power House Theatre to partake in the town’s third annual Día de los Muertos celebration. During this event various community members, including many Whitman students and faculty, arranged and set up many activities for visitors, such as face painting, decorating sugar skulls, carving designs on freely provided blocks, and large-scale printmaking.

The event honors the Mexican holiday of Dia de los Muertos, or the ‘Day of the Dead,’ a day of remembrance for friends and family who have passed on which is traditionally celebrated at the start of November.

A number of community members attended the event, which occurred over a two-day period (5 p.m.-8 p.m. Oct. 24 and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Oct. 25), and Whitman students were among them. First-year Maddy Gold, who had not participated in either of Walla Walla’s prior celebrations, was drawn to the event with the prospect of seeing “all the art

in the community,” as well as “getting out of the Whitman bubble.”

“It’s a great way to engage in the community,” said Gold, who went on to say that “it’s really cool to support members of the Whitman community.”

Discussing her plans for the event, Gold noted that she hoped to buy an “awesome” shirt at the event, as well as potentially make one of her own, using a design she was carving on a provided block depicting a skeleton playing the guitar.

But while Gold and other community attendees carved their own small designs, Whitman printmaking students were working on a similar project at a much larger scale.

Discussing her beginning printmaking students, Whitman art professor Nicole Pietrantoni says, “We basically print these giant woodblocks all day long in the middle of the street.” The students use a steamroller because the wood blocks they use for their designs, inspired by Día de Los Muertos themes, are so large that they “can’t fit them on any of [the] printing presses here at Whitman.”

In addition to the physical necessity, Pietrantoni notes that “it’s

a nice way for us to bring our art out into the streets and into the community.” Many of the pieces will be sold in an exhibition in the Fouts Center on October 30th.

One of Pietrantoni’s students, Tehani Louis-Perkins, was very excited by the opportunity to make art in such a unique manner. “Being able to make art from this way that I’ve never experienced before, using this big steamroller to press this big block to make art...will be pretty interesting,” Louis-Perkins said.

Professor Pietrantoni, who has been involved with the event all three of its years of operation, was optimistic about the celebration’s potential to impact the community in a big way. “What I love is that it brings out a really diverse part of our community here in Walla Walla...I heard someone the other day say ‘there’s not a lot of diversity in Walla Walla.’ Well, actually there is.”

Elaborating on the point of diversity, Pietrantoni said “This is an event that really celebrates and...honors some Latino history and we see a lot of Latino people partaking in the event and participating, bringing their families and children.”

“I think there’s a lot of good things,” Pietrantoni went on, “that come out of...celebrating it [Día de los Muertos] and asking...complex questions about ‘What does the Day of the Dead look like here in the U.S., in Walla Walla, Washington?’” According to Pietrantoni, though the festival is very different than the celebrations in the holiday’s native Mexico, the holiday is still worth acknowledgment and observation, and the festival tries to remain true to the spirit of the holiday.

Maddy Gold agreed, saying “I would suggest it to anybody. It’s a really good way to celebrate Día de los Muertos.” Similarly, Louis-Perkins suggested that “even if you’re not making prints, it’ll be pretty exciting” just to volunteer or participate.

As to whether or not the event will return next year, Professor Pietrantoni said that “[a]s long as all of our partners continue to be interested, excited, and engaged in doing it, I’d say the answer is yes,” assuming, of course, that “the students want to keep making giant prints, too.”

To watch a video of the festival, visit whitmanpioneer.com.

Year of the Booty: Round 2, a conversation about intersectionality and pop culture, Thursday, Oct. 29, 7:00 p.m. at Kimball Auditorium.

Mr. Whitman Fundraising Pageant, hosted by KKG and benefiting AVID

Friday, Oct. 30, 7:00 p.m.

-10:00 p.m. at Cordiner Hall

Trick or Trot 5k Fundraiser, hosted by Delta Gamma and benefiting the Pacific Foundation for Blind Children Saturday, Oct. 31, 11:00 a.m. at Bennington Lake.

Haunted Hospital Tour

Saturday, Oct. 31, 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. at North Hall.

KWCW Show of the Week: Aquamira

by MEGAN HEARST Staff Reporter

F

or seven semesters, seniors Emma Cotter and Karen Vezie have been broadcasting “Aquamira” with a mission to “purify your minds with music.”

The show broadcasts a variety of music from all around the world, exploring a broad range of themes and genres all in one two hour package at 8-10 a.m. Mondays.

The word “aquamira” has been a part of Cotter’s and Vezie’s friendship since the beginning.

The duo met on a Scramble backpacking trip their first year, where they used Aquamira water treatment drops. “The K-Dub application was the first week of school,” says Cotter, “[we] had known each other for two weeks,

and we thought oh! Aquamira.”

“Oh it’s such a terrible name, we’ll think of something later,” Vezie said. They never did. Three years on “Aquamira” remains, but Cotter says “now when I hear it, I just completely associate it with our show.”

“Aquamira” does not adhere to a specific genre, but plays upon the tastes of its hosts. “If we had to define the genre, it would be indie”, Cotter says. “Indie is an umbrella term for a lot of different kinds of music.”

The word “Indie” is a loose term for all varieties of music, pop, rock, hip-hop, and electronica, to name a few. The goal is to play new and interesting music, “it’s really fun to try new bands and discover new music,” Vezie says. There’s only

one rule for “Aquamira,” they play “anything you can jam to, anything with a good melody and a beat,” Cotter says.

Aquamira has changed over seven semesters, due to shifts in broadcast time and the pair’s tastes. “We first bonded over British music,” says Vizie, who’s originally from the U.K. “I went though a huge Britpop phase,” Cotter says. Tastes have shifted over the years, including a high energy hip hop phase in their sophomore year, although this semester due to the morning time slot, the music has slowed down substantially.

One thing has always united the show is the bond the two share. “We just stick with it,” says Cotter, “it’s the thing we do, it’s part of our friendship.”

Seniors Emma Cotter and Karen Vezie play music from around the world on their show ”Aquamira,” which airs 8-10 a.m. Monday mornings. Photo by Gerlach

SPORTS

OCT

28 2015

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Women’s basketball talent aims to fill big shoes

by MARIO SANTOS-DAVIDSON Staff Reporter

A

fter a trip to the national title game in the 20132014 season, Whitman’s women’s basketball team had a tougher season last year, finishing fourth in the Northwest Conference and losing in the first round of the conference playoffs. Injuries played a huge role, as many key players missed significant time. “[Last season] was hard. We really thought we had a chance to maybe finish in the top 2 of the conference but then we just kept getting hurt; we had a ton of injuries. We never could quite get the momentum,” said Head Coach Michelle Ferenz. “It was never very cohesive or continuous because people were playing in one spot one week and then the next spot because someone got hurt.”

Last season the team relied heavily on Heather Johns, who finished her career with two consecutive All-American selections. Much of the team’s offense was run through her a year ago, so now the team must adjust accordingly.

“We’re definitely trying to allocate scoring to make up for the offensive threat that Heather was. That goes along with everyone playing a different role in trying to step up in their own respective positions,” sophomore Forward/Center Emily Rommel

said. “Heather was amazing, one of the best athletes we’ve ever had play here. Now it’s just someone else’s turn. There are probably 3 players [Alysse Ketner, Casey Poe and Kathleen Cook] who are going to be splitting time there, and they all bring different strengths to the position. I think they all do some things really well, and [we’ll] just see what best fits us and move from there.”

The 2015-2016 season has now officially gotten under way, and the team began practicing this past week.

“We’re looking pretty good for the first couple of practices, a little rough around the edges but we’re definitely getting there–making good progress so far,” Rommel said. “I think we’re going to be a very different team this year, which I’m excited about. I’m excited to see where [players’ new roles] take us and how far we can go.”

With six returning sophomores and two first-years added to the mix, there is plenty of young talent to replace the departing seniors.

Adding to that talent is Hailey Ann Maeda, a captain this year. One of the few seniors on the team, she recognizes the need for everyone to fill the large shoes left by Johns.

“We don’t have the superstars on our team this year. Everyone needs to step up and pick up their role on the team. We’re

New coaches bring excitement, perspective to Whitman athletics

by GRANT LACO Staff Reporter

A

n influx of energy and excitement has hit the Whitman College athletic department in recent years. Four new head coaches have taken leadership of their respective programs in the last two years, bringing positive energy and a wealth of experience with them. Kate Robinson (Women’s lacrosse) and Laura Williamson (Women’s soccer) are entering their second season as head coaches, while Jose Cedeno (Men’s soccer) and Brian Kitamura (Baseball) have commenced their first years of head coaching here at Whitman.

Change is always difficult, but in the case of these four coaches the transition seems to be going seamlessly, as each seems to be a great fit for both Whitman and their respective programs.

Coach Robinson has had an especially unique transition to her head coaching position at Whitman. Upon coming to Whitman, Robinson oversaw the transition of Women’s Lacrosse from a club sport to the varsity level – no easy task. Instead of shying away from the arduous task, Robinson embraced it.

“The chance to start a program is not something a coach in their career gets to do. With the support of the administration, other coaches and community about adding lacrosse, I was really encouraged about taking on this process,” she said.

Along with the support of the community, Robinson has had the full support of the players, making the transition seamless from the very beginning.

“The transition from club to varsity status has been going very well so far. I give all credit to the group of players I started here with. They are excited about the future of this program are willing to grow and get better everyday,” Robinson said.

Coach Williamson of women’s soccer has similarly had an easy transition to leading Whitman College. Williamson came to Whitman after a very successful stint as head coach at Vassar College. Whitman strongly appealed to Williamson because of the support the school is currently showing for athletics and the promising opportunity for rapid growth as a program. The transition for Williams was clearly a successful one, as she immediately led the team to a winning record and fourth place finish in conference.

Williamson has also had to make an adjustment to the demanding Northwest Conference schedule.

“It’s a tough conference because anybody can beat anybody, and so you always have to be on top of your game,” she said.

Heading up the men’s soccer program is Jose Cedeno. Cedeno comes to Whitman after a successful role coaching Hunter College in New York. At Hunter, Cedeno was named the coach of the year in the conference, and his teams earned two berths to the Division Three national tourna-

ment. Whitman’s academic reputation was a big selling point for Cedeno, as he knew it would be a great pitch for recruits and would contribute to a great division three college experience for his players. Although he came to Whitman very recently, Cedeno has not wasted time getting the Whitman Soccer name out there to prospective recruits, attending ten tournaments in just over two months. Further adding to Cedeno’s smooth transition are the captains he inherited in the program, discussing how they have been great leaders and significantly eased his transition.

Rounding out the new head coaches is Brian Kitamura, who will lead the baseball program after five seasons as an assistant coach. Kitamura, a Whitman baseball alumnus himself, began coaching at Whitman immediately after graduating. Kitamura’s experience in the program has aided in his successful transition from assistant to head coach.

“The transition into my new role has been exciting. Having this opportunity to build the program at my alma mater is one that is incredibly special and to be able to give back in this capacity is an opportunity I would jump at every time,” he said.

Kitamura also cited his players as making the transition more feasible.

“We have a great group this year. The hard work and dedication that our team has put in has helped make this transition process even smoother. I couldn’t be more excited for the future of our program,” he said.

Excitement builds in the Whitman College athletic department, surrounding these driven, dedicated coaches.

SCOREBOARD SOCCER MEN’S

v. University of Puget Sound Oct. 24: T 0-0 v. Pacific Lutheran University Oct. 25: L 0-5 WOMEN’S

v. Willamette University Oct. 24: W 1-0 v. Linfield College Oct. 25: T 1-1

VOLLEYBALL

v. Whitworth University Oct.21: L 0-3 v. George Fox University Oct. 24: L 1-3

UPCOMING

HOME CONTESTS ONLY

MEN’S SOCCER

v. Walla Walla University Oct. 28 @ 7 P.M. v. Willamette University Oct. 31 @ 12 P.M. v. Linfield College Nov. 1 @ 1:30 P.M.

VOLLEYBALL

v. Linfield College Oct. 30 @ 7 P.M. v. Pacific University Oct. 31 @ 5 P.M.

SWIMMING

NWC Sprint Meet Oct. 30 @ 5 P.M. NWC Relays Oct. 31 @ 11 A.M.

not looking for one person to win, we’re looking for our team to win,” said Maeda. “There’s not as much experience as there has been in the past few years, but we’re very much becoming a family, which is what is needed in a team sport like basketball.”

A pair of first-years were added to this year’s team: Maegen Martin and Caitlin Mazzoleni. Rommel discussed the two players, praising Martin’s footwork in the post and mentioning how good Mazzoleni was looking in the early practices.

Maeda, one of two senior captains along with Hailey McDonald, prioritized the importance of holding everyone accountable and working together in order to truly improve. She also talked about her excitement for the upcoming season.

“Our motto this year is actually ‘Whatever it takes/Win it together’ (WIT). We’re very much embracing that. Togetherness is how we’re going to function as a team this year,” said Maeda. “If we just keep practicing and having confidence and trust not only ourselves but our teammates, I think we’ll go pretty far this year.”

While another run to the Final Four may be unlikely, the team is poised to have a solid year in the Northwest Conference and truly build for the future with 8 young players on the roster, with many playing significant roles.

Chanel Knight [‘18] drives by Hailey McDonald [‘16] on her way to the hoop. Photo by Nace

Annual tradition kicks off men’s basketball

by ALDEN GLASS Staff Reporter

A

s the clock stuck midnight and the date changed to October 15, the Whitman men’s basketball team was in the gym running drills and preparing for the new season. While many Whitman students were sound asleep or finishing up a paper in the library, the team gathered in the Sherwood Athletic Center to hand out gear and start practice. This midnight practice serves as the team’s official kickoff of the 2015-16 season. Coach Eric Bridgeland explained this peculiar practice and how it helps the team’s goals.

“For us, as we’ve got seven freshmen and nine returners, we hand out the gear and walk through how practice is going to be for the new guys. We have a dry practice with no contact,” said Bridgeland. “In past years, we’ve had a bottle of sparkling water that we sprayed around and visualized winning the champ.

This year the objective was to get the freshmen used to how practices will be structured. It’s a can’t-miss.”

Senior Tochi Oti explained how this midnight practice really demonstrates the team’s values of cooperation and hard work.

“We usually have it every year at the start of the season, because October 15 is usually the start date for basketball, so we start literally as soon as we can,” Oti said. “It speaks to our culture about hard work and trying to get a step up on the competition by doing things other teams would not do in order to make our team successful.”

Another one of the team’s yearly traditions is a boot camp put on

by Lieutenant Colonel Jason Smith.

Smith and Bridgeland met a number of years ago and came up with a yearly fall camp to get the team ready for the season. Senior Philip Chircu discussed what it means to him to have the Lt. Col. come and lead this camp every year.

“He [Smith] takes us through boot camp where you do swimming with a brick over your head or a huge

run carrying each other and sacks of sand. Basically just military-style training that is really tough, but definitely brings us together as a unit,” Chircu said. “It’s usually competitive where we break up into a few teams and compete against each other. I look forward to it every year. We’re lucky to have it. It’s amazing to have him give us some of his perspective.”

Traditions like the midnight practice and the boot camp are vital pieces in building a team spirit before the season gets under way. With seven new members on

Illustration by Mease

the team, building a solid foundation will be vital to the team’s success. With a high-flying full court press, the team’s depth becomes very important. The first-years will need to be ready to step up and fill in those rotational spots. Chircu talked about how the first-years have adapted to the system so far.

“The big part of it this year is having seven first-years. They’ve been so good at working through stuff. They’ve been listening, absorbing, and putting stuff in action which is great to see. They’ve ADVERTISEMENT

come a lot further in a week than I thought they could,” Chircu said.

Coach Bridgeland talked about the team’s efforts to build a coherent unit.

“In the preseason, whenever you have a bunch of upperclassmen and a bunch of new guys, there could be a disconnect. So we really focused on getting together, whether it was for pizza or bowling, we did a lot of that kind of thing early,” Bridgeland said. “I don’t think we’ve ever been closer. We had a big brother-little brother deal, and it’s safe to say our program has never been closer.”

With the first-years being integrated into the team, and conference play looming, the team is hungry for success. Coach Bridgeland shared a lot of his player’s confidence when looking at the future and explained how the coaching staff can help achieve the success the team wants.

“We’re trying to get better right now. We’re going to fail a lot, so how can we learn from every failure and get better,” Bridgeland said.

“I think the team has their own destination for where they want to go, for us as a staff, we trying to get this group to play the best they possibly can come late February or March.”

Oti added his own personal aspirations for the team this year and showed his selfless att itude that is a staple in the Whitman team culture.

“Well, ever since I’ve been here, we’ve gotten second place. It’d be nice to get over that hump, and I’m sure everyone else feels that way. I think I’ve learned over the years that it’s about the process and not the end result. If we come to practice every day willing to work hard and willing to give it our all when we’re at practice, things will fall into place,” he said. “I think that’s a big goal for us this year: having constant energy at practice and making sure we squeeze out every ounce we can get. Individually, I honestly don’t care if I’m the best player or cheering my team on from the bench. Winning is a collective thing. As long as we rally together, I’ll be more than satisfied”.

FEATURE

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28 2015

TALKING ABOUT GUNS Mass shootings and illegal gun possession continue to increase, and gun control debates remain divisive. Where do Walla Walla and Whitman fit into these conversations?

by HANNAH BARTMAN Feature Editor

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rowing up in a suburb on the outskirts of LA County did not give me extensive immersion into the world of guns. My parent’s interest in the Quaker society and Zen meditation probably didn’t help much either. With this in mind, it’s easy to understand my surprise when, in my first-year at Whitman, I entered Walla Walla’s K-mart only to be welcomed by multiple aisles of hunting and gun paraphernalia.

This would not be quite the pacifist haven in which I’d grown up.

Despite this initial encounter, however, my understanding of guns in our local and national context has not increased in my three years at Whitman. The liberal culture of campus doesn’t encourage much interaction and discussion of these issues, either. However, if one looks hard enough, the subcultures of recreational gun users at Whitman and in Walla Walla reveals that these debates are highly relevant to our own community.

Whitman’s trapshooting club The trapshooting club provides one example of the relevance these issues have to Whitman, as many of its members grew up participating in the sport. Run by junior Isabel Mills, senior Jon Miranda, and junior Gavin Guard, the club has been taking trips up to the Walla Walla Gun Club regularly for the past four years.

“I had no idea there would be a club at Whitman,” Miranda said.

“I come from a big military family.…My father and grandfathers taught me to shoot when I was little.”

Similarly, Mills grew up in Alaska, hunting and shooting at her family’s small cabin, the “Duck Shack.”

“My entire family has been shooting, they did it when they were kids and it has been a really big part of my life at home. I have really good memories of being a teenager and hanging out and shooting ducks every weekend,” she said.

The importance of family in introducing their kids to recreational gun use seems to be an increasing trend according to Bob Bloch, the Secretary-Treasurer and 50 year member of the Walla Walla Gun Club.

“It’s getting to be a lot more of a family thing now…it got away from that in the 70’s and 80’s [where] there was just a cadre of professional trap shoot-

ers that was left. It’s been hard to get over that... we’ve been trying for 10 years or more to get back to the family deal and it’s working really well now and we’re pleased with the direction that it’s going,” he said.

In general, though, Bloch notes that there seems to be a decline in interest surrounding trap shooting.

“When I first joined there were a couple hundred members, it was very active [and] trap shooting was a big deal still...People are not as excited about it as they used to be, it’s just not popular anymore. That’s why we’re going to the indoor rifle and pistol range because that’s where the interest is now.”

Trapshooting is one of the three sub components of clay pigeon shooting. Shooting with a 12 gauge shot gun, trap shooters are given five shots in five different spots at a clay disk that is projected from a machine. While Whitman’s club is not yet competitive, due to the need for funds and a full 10 person team, members are excited about both having the ability to practice a life-long hobby and welcome new members who might have never touched a gun before.

“The club is here to ensure that Whitties have a place where they can safely learn about firearms and the shooting sports,” Miranda said. “I’ve never had people leave an event unsatisfied.”

Stereotyping guns Despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of guns are purchased for recreational use, including both hunting and clay shooting, it’s impossible not to discuss the topic of gun use without reference to the potential of violence associated with them. Guns have come to symbolize some of our country’s biggest concerns: social unrest and public safety (there have been 152 school shootings in the past two years alone).

Miranda relates the associations with guns and interpersonal violence to media and video game portrayals of weapons. He believes these depictions give people an inaccurate view of regular gun use.

“When I see firearm issues reported in mass media, it’s not that people are ignorant, they’re just not informed. The problem is that there’s a large portion [of the population] where the only exposure they get to firearms...[is] in this very unrealistic context in video games or in a very negative

Junior Jon Miranda shoots at the Walla Walla Gun Club. Photo by Kelly.

context like in these news stories about violence. And so they often times don’t see the fact that 99 percent of civilians [use firearms for recreational purposes].”

Bloch also believes the media inaccurately portrays the reality of gun use.

“A policeman gets shot and that makes the news but 500 kids went to a shooting tournament in Spokane and they all shot for three days and had a great time and that never gets to the news. That’s just what you live with in this business,” he said.

Guns and the tragedies of mass shootings are controversial mainstays of American news coverage.

The politics of gun control The political debate surrounding gun control unsurprisingly ranges from hardliners on both sides of the political spectrum. Many on the conservative side cite the second amendment and deny the need for any increased restrictions on gun ownership. The liberal view depicts activists who push for greater gun safety and control laws, with some advocating for an ultimate ban on civilian gun possession.

There are also various opinions in between. Bernie Sanders, whose background on these issues put him in the spotlight at the recent Democratic Presidential Debate, believes that gun control laws should be regulated by their locality, and that mental health is the issue to address.

The relationship between mental health and accessibility to guns also divides the debate. Bloch favors the view that additional laws will not be beneficial, rather the laws that are already enforced are not effective.

“The federal, but also the states, are not enforcing most of the laws that we already have, so they’re just dumping a whole bunch of new laws [on us]–that’s not going to do any good. Most of the discussion in the shooting community [revolves around helping] these angry young guys that are doing all the violence,” Bloch said.

Miranda also views the laws already in place as not bing regulated effectively, thereby allowing people who shouldn’t own guns to slip through the cracks.

“Background checks for firearms...should be enforced but one thing that people don’t realize is that people slip through the tracks, not because a background check wasn’t done, but

because of incomplete data sharing between agencies. Someone might have a crime that they committed or other issue that might stop them from owning a gun, but these agencies have not shared this information,” Miranda said.

In the state of Washington, guns are not registered to their individual owners. Each purchaser of a gun must fill out paperwork and undergo a background check before purchasing a gun. In 2013, Washington tightened its gun control laws, passing law I-594 which makes any gun transfer between two individuals illegal. Miranda points out that although this law is well-intentioned, it is very hard to enforce due to the difficulty to find records of possession for a specific firearm.

Gun advocates who look towards mental health as a target solution to issues of gun violence may also find pushback from some psychiatrists. In a study of 34 adolescent mass murderers from 2001, 23 percent were found to have a recorded mental illness. Background checks screen for any history of felony charges, mental illness, domestic violence, or other potential red flags.

On the other hand, some psychiatrists cite these as potentially unreliable. In an article published in the Pacific Standard, Dr. Jeffrey Swanson, a professor in psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Duke University School of Medicine, defines “behavioral indicators of risk,” such as sudden shifts in mood or mental state as a more important issue to consider.

“We think that if there are indicators of risk, that should be a time when firearms are removed, at least temporarily, with an opportunity for restoration of gun rights when the person no longer poses a public safety risk,” Swanson said.

Moving forward Walla Walla’s gun culture represents the sport recreational gun use that a suburbanite like me could only imagine from afar. Despite what we say about the campus ‘bubble,’ the trapshooting club and local recreational gun use proves that controversial national issues still play a role in our community.

Understanding guns’ place within the context of both family tradition and contemporary politics with the recent tragedies of mass shootings doesn’t make discussing guns any easier. But it reminds us that these issues are closer to home than we think.

OPINION

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28 2015

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Op-Ed: What is Diversity?

Op-Ed: Diversity as a “cost-benefit analysis” The following is an Op-Ed submitted by Assistant Professor of Economics Jennifer Cohen, who is a member of the Global Studies Initiative Steering Committee.

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wo parallel events are in process this week. The first are the #FeesMustFall student-led protests in South Africa around rising fees for university, which would further exclude poor students and stymie post-apartheid transformation. The second is the suspension of Global Studies, an academic program designed to facilitate thinking beyond the confines of our disciplines and canons here at Whitman.

There are numerous connections between these two unfolding stories.

One is that both have transformative aspirations, which may not conform to the narratives of cost-benefit analysis. In South Africa, students are demanding that the government direct more resources towards diversity in education. As an academic program that helps Whitman recruit and retain a diverse faculty, transform our curriculum and community, and grapple with the many meanings of diversity, Global Studies also represents an effort toward increasing diversity in education.

In each case, efforts to diver-

sify have costs in terms of money and time. Diversity may be expensive. The benefits may be difficult to quantify, although messages of support from faculty suggest that the benefits of Global Studies would outweigh the costs were either of these to be genuinely quantifiable. But “cost-benefit analysis” in light of recognizing Global Studies as an initiative that contributes to diversity at Whitman seems bizarre and shortsighted. Cost-benefit analysis doesn’t make sense in a context in which the benefits are cumulative and ultimately transformative.

I don’t want to conflate diversity and Global Studies en-

tirely but it bears noting that well over 50 percent of faculty members of color at Whitman are or were involved in the design of the program or have participated in the program. Targeting Global Studies and reducing its transformative potential to cost-benefit analysis effectively devalues the already uncompensated labor of faculty of color and of women faculty of color in particular.

In the course of thinking about the future, I hope that we neither lose sight of the transformative potential of these engagements nor the years of dedicated labor that they reflect.

The following is a contributed Op-Ed written by Assistant Professor of Art History and Visual Culture Lisa Uddin, who is a member of the Global Studies Initiative Steering Committee.

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write this during several days of upheaval over Global Studies at Whitman College, with a glass of wine on the table and a spouse who wants me to come to bed already. I also write this during my fourth year as a faculty member who, in this particular institutional and geographic setting, has come to discover herself as other-than-white–intellectually, phenotypically, and socially.

My point here is not to enact disclosures of identity but to highlight the moving target that is campus diversity at Whitman. Diversity is a prominent virtue and a stake in the Global Studies Initiative (GSI).

By now, you may have heard that the GSI has diversified the curriculum and co-curriculum, helped recruit and retain minority faculty members, and is organized by a committee composed of a disproportionate number of women faculty of color; i.e., it does good “diversity work.”

But what is diversity? Responses will very much depend on your field of study, your background, your trust in demographic data, and your threshold for the complex dynamics of all social relations and identities.

Since coming to Whitman, I have noticed a remarkable–and necessary–elasticity to the term. With such elasticity, diversity has been able to name that process of recognizing substantive difference in U.S. higher education (and redistribute resources accordingly), while also recognizing that diversifying Whitman always includes, and is always more than, taking the attendance of those people who are historically minoritized.

Diversity is, among other things, the lively and joyous presence of the “other” in your company: in your residential community, on your syllabus, as your professor, in your dinner plans, and in your life plans. The GSI has been critical for introducing this presence and creating occasions to reflect on the intricacies of engaging it. That it has done so without predetermining what diversity might entail, and to whom it might speak, testifies to its value. Perhaps in another place, the word “diversity” would not strike the chord in me that it does here. Perhaps this is one sign that Global Studies at Whitman matters now as much as ever.

In long distance relationships, couples need space OLIVIA GILBERT First-year

TELL IT SLANT

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ike it or not, technology, social media, and constant connectedness are defining aspects of our generation’s identity. We utilize technology in nearly all aspects of life— and relationships are no exceptions. Smartphones, texting, free long-distance calling, and apps like Skype allow couples to stay in touch whenever and wherever, making technology particularly relevant to those in longdistance relationships. According to fivethirtyeight.com, a whopping 75 percent of American students report being in a long-distance relationship at some point in their college career.

Today’s long-distance relationships (LDRs) look vastly different than they did for couples thirty, twenty, and even ten years ago. Long gone are the days of snail mail and waiting by a landline for a pre-planned phone call. Even email is antiquated at this point. Today, couples attending far-off schools can communicate as often as they want through a variety of means. The formats of most popular social media, including Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat encourage users to share a constant stream of information. Media like tex-

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ting ensure continuous conversation, while FaceTime and Skype allow for face-to-face communication and longer exchanges.

As someone in a long-distance relationship, I am grateful that I can connect with my boyfriend in such personal, convenient ways, but it’s a mistake to think all this technology optimizes communication or makes LDRs easier. When staying in touch is as easy as pressing a button, couples get into the habit of communicating through fragments of information all day long.

Regular contact and intimacy are important for maintaining healthy relationships, but being too digitally close can create an illusion of togetherness that ultimately serve to overlycomplicate these relationships.

For one thing, methods of digital communication can be isolating; constantly disrupting our day to post, update, or send a text makes it difficult to fully appreciate and participate in independ-

ent life away from our partners.

For example, there are apps designed specifically for couples in LDRs; apps like Couple and Avocado boast of the intimacy they provide. Users can create a shared timeline in which they post videos, photos, sketches, and voice messages for their significant other’s eyes only. The app Couple even has a feature called “Thumbkiss” that touts “real-time interaction”: if both people touch their phone screen at the same time, their phones will vibrate.

The Time article “How Skype is Sabotaging Your Long Distance Relationship” asserts that our generation’s “hyper-connectivity” is a “double-edged sword.”

While previous generations were forced to develop separate lives outside of relationships, iPhones, apps, and various social media platforms allow for minute-by-

minute updates that make it easy for couples in LDRs to isolate themselves from their lives outside of relationships. Receiving constant updates on a partner’s life also detracts from more meaningful, sustained conversations that might take place on the phone or Skype later.

The article’s author elaborates on her own long-distance relationship: “Sometimes my boyfriend and I don’t know what to say to each other on the phone at the end of the night. He already knows the stories I’ve written that day because I’ve tweeted them. I know what new quote they posted on his quote board at work because it popped up on Facebook” She goes on to say, “So in some ways I envy my parents who were far enough away from one another to form separate lives. They didn’t feel guilty when they missed a text or let down when a Snapchat went unopened.”

We should be smart about how we use technology. Why not save up our anecdotes for a more meaningful phone call or hold off on emailing photos from that hiking trip until we can be with our loved one in person? While today’s couples should certainly not deny themselves the convenience of modern technology, we should take a hint from the long-distance relationships of old and remind ourselves that space is valuable.

Time spent apart makes us value the time we do get to have together. When we have room to develop fuller, richer lives, we learn to appreciate the present.

We become our best selves— for us and for those we love.

In search of the transcendent icebreaker TINO MORI Senior

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tarting conversations is an uncomfortable business.

Enunciating words requires a concerted effort, while excessive eye contact with the wrong fellow is liable to result in unwanted fisticuffs. Worst of all, conversations always open with the scripted agony of small talk.

“How are you?”

“Fine. You?” “Not bad. We should hang out some time!”

“Yeah. Text me!”

We are all guilty of small talk. Social butterflies and awkward butterflies both occasionally reach to trite expressions of politeness ... but that doesn’t have to be the case. If we approach our everyday interactions with friends, acquaintances, and strangers with the intent

to learn something about who they are and what they’re feeling, create something with them, we will be well on the road to meaningful human interaction.

To start a meaningful conversation, you need to start with a perfect question, a quick enquiry that pierces the above mentioned formulaic conversational structure without excessive prying. The goal is to make a connection, not to glance off our defensive little cocoons! So: what are the criteria of one such question?

1) Novelty: If the question is predictable, or recycled, it will receive an unthinking answer.

2) Interest: The question must reveal a desire to learn about the other person, a sign that the asker cares.

3) Respect: You don’t want your question to make the recipient uncomfortable; merely surprised and engaged. The question can only be so personal.

There’s a sliding scale of what the third criterion means, depending if it’s your best friend, a classmate, or a complete stranger. You must be willing to adapt your icebreaker to any situation.

My current placeholder question is quite simple:

“What’s your favorite sandwich?”

Maybe the question’s genius isn’t obvious on the surface, but it works on several levels.

First, it challenges the receivers to contemplate themselves, to examine their lives, and reveal something.

Second, the question gives the receiver has lots of leeway.

They can share a memory of their favorite sandwich, where it comes from, who made it, and so forth, or they can stay at the surface and reply politely; ham sandwich, PB&J, turkey sandwich. Just kidding, no one likes turkey lunch meat, it’s literally an abomination, has no flavor, and offers no nutritional value.

Third, a question about sandwiches tells you a lot about someone; we define ourselves constantly by what we eat and how we eat it. You’ll learn quickly what you have in common, and where you can disagree and debate. Often follow-up questions will be merited: Why do you like whole wheat?

Do you go with mayo or butter?

A burrito, really? You consider a burrito a sandwich? Finally, the receiver can easily return the question. You can start a dialogue.

Voices from the Community

And I think that’s a lovely thing.

The sandwich question is not for everyone of course. Perhaps you’d rather ask: *What’s the last thing you remember that made you laugh? *Is there a place, object, or person you consider to be overhyped, and not such a big deal? *If you were called into court as an expert witness, on what subject would you be giving your expertise?

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*If you had to choose, would you go into cattle rustling or white collar crime?

Please don’t squander these precious questions as quirky pickup lines. Use them to make a lifetime friend. This plan is so crazy it might just work.

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Where do you wish Whitman spent more funds? Poll by KARI HAMPSON

JOSH RUBENSTEIN

CATHERINE FISHER

JESSIE BERSSON

CAMILLE GLUSKOTER

Senior

Sophomore

Sophomore

Sophomore

“Supported the Global Studies Initiative, instead of cutting it as a moneysaving initiative.”

“I think more scholarships for those with low income, to make Whitman a place that anyone could come.”

“I would want to see more scholarships so we could have a more diverse student body, because it’s not that diverse here.”

“I wish they would put more funding into general facilities.”

BACKPAGE Global Studies Initiative to be replaced by new Boyer Avenue Studies Initiative OCT

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his past Tuesday, Provost and Dean of the Faculty Pat Spencer announced plans to suspend the Global Studies Initiative for the 20162017 academic year. The move is apparently due to the high cost of

granting course releases to professors who participate in the program–which involves hiring adjunct faculty to take over classes for professors involved in the globalization of Whitman’s academic discourses–as well as his deep, abiding fear of all things spherical and spinning. In the place of Global Studies, the Provost has created a new program: The Boyer Avenue Studies Initiative.

The cancellation of Global Studies has been met with overwhelming gratitude and relief among the faculty.

Said one politics professor, “The world is a big, bad scary place. Plus, it’s super complicated and stuff.

We’re much better off without having to think about it.”

A biology professor added, “Our

Illustration by Revere

Pros and Cons of a Trump Presidency

students need to realize that what they’re learning should be confined to their immediate surroundings, and Global Studies was making that really hard to convey, what with all of the faculty symposiums about globalizing our scholarship and pedagogy.”

The Provost, wearing a black robe and shrouded in smoke that billowed from his dark office, also spoke about how Global Studies prevented the recruitment of diverse faculty. “Because of the Global Studies Initiative, nearly all of the Whitman faculty were interested in ways to globalize the college’s academic horizons. I knew something had to change.”

To that end, the new Boyer Avenue Studies Initiative is expected to serve as a powerful means for Whitman to attract and retain a talented, diverse faculty.

“Our own Boyer Avenue is a much more fascinating place than that little thing called ‘the whole wide world’,” said the Provost.

“Boyer Avenue is at the heart of our campus, and will be the focus of a newer, better Initiative.

I expect that through the Boyer Avenue Initiative, we will be able to attract many young upand-coming Boyer scholars. In fact, I’ve been in contact with one potential professor who is doing some really groundbreaking research on North of Boyer–South of Boyer relations. The conclusions she has drawn about Anderson and Jewett tensions are way cooler than some stupid class about global health, at least. I’m hopeful we’ll be able

to bring her to Whitman with the help of my new program.”

Boyer Studies will engage the faculty in critical discussions about how to make their course curricula as Boyer-centric as possible. Students will benefit by having to consider probing questions about their immediate surroundings, and no more than those. The study of Boyer Avenue will pervade all aspects of the Whitman experience, in a true forward-thinking, liberal arts manner: physics students will be able to study the velocity of cars racing down Boyer; art students will spend their four years staring at and analyzing that one colorful statue near Mem; philosophy majors can ponder the passage of time by watching the clock tower; and politics majors will consider the relations of power between those with fancy offices in Mem and those without.

“The possibilities for intellectual growth and vibrant conversation are endless!” cooed Spencer.

The Provost does not plan on stopping with the Boyer Avenue Studies Initiative, though.

Plans are in the works to limit Encounters texts only to works

by Walla Walla authors. Additionally, the Whitman Bubble will be reinforced with steel as soon as possible, to further insulate the school from harmful global contamination.

At press time, a happy group of students converged on the Dean’s office, exclaiming, “Now THIS is what the liberal arts is all about!”

Installation of Kathy Murray Transforms into Riotous, Bacchanalian Feast

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ith Donald Trump still polling well in the GOP primaries, America is faced with the very real question: What would a Trump Presidency look like? The Backpage is here to help, weighing the pros and cons so that you don’t have to.

Pros •

Old drinking buddy of Mitch McConnell

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Good opportunity for people to explore options for living abroad

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That one Colombian woman seemed stoked

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Inauguration might inspire cool new Drake diss-track

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Only slightly more racially insensitive than Republican competitors

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If nothing else, nice win for the hair

Cons •

Leader of free world requires

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Free access to nuclear launch codes brings new meaning to “you’re fired”

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Vast personal wealth typically not allowed to be traded for political favors

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Unlikely to have another Trump Comedy Central Roast

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Not certain what an administration of “winners” entails

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Foreseeable conflicts with U.S.-Mexico relations

slightly different skillset than business mogul

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everal weeks ago, Whitman College celebrated the official installation of Dr. Kathleen Murray, former Provost of Macalester College, Pianist Extraordinaire, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, and Supreme Empress of Walla Walla. Since her occupation of her Sherwood House Citadel in July, President Murray has been introduced at various college functions approximately forty-seven times. However, this was apparently not enough as the weekend of September 18-20 was set aside as the official installation.

However, far more was planned than a simple installation ceremony. College administrators were quoted as saying, “We didst want to properly welcome to our humblest of institutions our wonderful president, and as such we made the necessary meagre preparations.” But were they meager? We at the Backpage leave

Welcome to Wilfrie: Merch by Noah Porter

Illustration by Penner-Ash

that to you, dear reader, to decide.

Preparations for the installation began many days in advance. Workers labored for hours on end to construct a life size replica of the Hall of Heorot in order to house 278 dignitaries from foreign lands who made the journey to pay homage to our Lady of the Blue Mountains.

Upon their arrival, each guest was presented with a flagon of mead, two songbirds, and a brochure printed on solid gold leaf.

Despite the fact that few students were in attendance (perhaps because every single human on Whitman’s campus had seen Dr. Murray introduced at least twice), the ceremony itself was a refined, regal, and majestic undertaking. Whitman’s resident man-siren, Randy Brooks, performed a heart-wrenching piece, all the while accompanied by a small quartet of woodland nymphs. Rose petals rained

from the ceiling and President Murray herself paraded down the aisles of Cordiner Hall astride a snow white, talking unicorn that performed the Whitman hymn. It was simple, touching, and not overwrought in any way.

But this ceremony was far from the end of the festivities.

Post-installation, alumni, faculty, and dignified guests returned to the mead hall for the beginning of what would quickly become a multi-day, booze infused adventure. Wild reports streamed in throughout the evening: Lord Bridges (who returned from his new kingdom across the mountains) was sighted doing body shots with Queen Murray whilst Peter Harvey stood by and screamed, “Shots! Shots! Shots!”

Ye Olde Brewpub was overrun with sloshed alumni and students observed a group of three hallowing out a particularly robust sweet onion for use as a bong.

Given their rambunctious evening, the bedraggled company didn’t manage to rally the next day in order to take part in a truly incredible feast on Ankeny. Despite planning for approximately five thousand people, event coordinators were astonished when the only people at the brunch were hungry seniors and Jewett first years who were too lazy to walk all the way to Prentiss brunch. Consequently, there was enough food leftover to have pulled a starving Ireland out of the potato famine. President Murray made a brief appearance to thank the staff, faculty, alumni, and overworked house elves for (another) astonishingly expensive welcome ceremony. However, every student there went home with a watermelon, an entire blackberry cobbler, and a bouquet of flowers, so let it not be said that Whitman College doesn’t spend money on its students.