Whitman Pioneer Spring 2010 - Issue 12 by Whitman College Wire

ZOMBIE INVASION Humans vs. Zombies sparks creation of short-lived yet unique culture

UN-NATURAL HISTORY

THE LOST IPHONE

An in-depth look at local artist Gerald Matthews’s downtown ‘museum’

page 5

Columnist Blair Frank debates the most important story in tech journalism history

page 6

page 8

WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVI Issue 12 whitmanpioneer.com A , 

Shadow Day brings local youth to campus

ASWC to offer intro to living off-campus

Club Latino brought close to 50 low-income high school students to Whitman to encourage them to attend college. The ‘shadows’ went to classes, took a campus tour and met with current students. by RACHEL ALEXANDER

by JEREMY GUGGENHEIM

Staff Reporter

In a nod to an increasing number of offcampus burglaries, junior ASWC Senator and President-elect Carson Burns and junior ASWC Ombudsman and Vice President-elect John Loranger are establishing a living off-campus orientation to educate juniors and seniors. The event, officially approved in an ASWC senate resolution last week and scheduled for Sept. 7, 2010, will include talks by Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland, the Safety Coordinator from the Walla Walla Police Department, a security officer and a landlord. Burglary is a problem Burns is wellacquainted with; his off-campus house was broken into three times this year. He has also dealt with a negligent landlord. Burns hopes to help other students avoid these same difficulties and believes his experiences could provide students who have never lived off campus with valuable information. A brief discussion with Burns reveals he and his housemates have had a poor renting experience. “One time my housemate was home alone when he heard noise downstairs. He went to investigate and found a homeless Vietnam veteran sitting in our dining room.” Burns said that the man did not cause any trouble. Break-ins such as this one may have been enabled by Burns’ unresponsive landlord, who failed to fix house necessities—such as door locks—despite a month of requests. Burns says he has learned from these experiences. Among other things, he now knows that landlords are obligated to provide a certain level of home security for tenants, and that if landlords don’t perform house repairs in a prompt manner, a tenant can withhold rent until the repair. One of the best things Burns thought students could do to ensure the security WORKSHOP, page 2

BOWMAN Club Latino member Erick Aguayo ‘12 shares his Whitman experience with students from Wa-Hi during their campus visit.

Students eating lunch in Jewett last Thursday, April 22, might have been perplexed to discover a line out the door when they arrived at the dining hall. Amidst the signs about cheeseburgers causing global warming were about 50 students from Walla Walla High School visiting campus for Club Latino’s Shadow Day. Shadow Day, now in its fifth year, is an annual event that aims to bring lower-income high school students, many of whom are Latino, to campus for a day and show them that college is a possibility. “The purpose of this event is to get kids excited about applying for college,” said sophomore Aaron Aguilar, president

have one of the lowest graduation rates from high school,” she said. “For me as a Chicana, this is a crisis.” Current Whitman senior Jazmin Lopez participated in the first Shadow Day five years ago. She said that although she lived in Walla Walla, Whitman wasn’t really on her radar. “Even though I grew up here, I didn’t come on campus because it wasn’t part of the town I was in,” she said. Shadow Day inspired her to consider applying to private schools by showing her there were ways to afford schools like Whitman. The Walla Walla students said they appreciated the opportunity to see campus. “The library is just incredible,” said Walla Walla High SHADOW, page 2

Ain’t no mountain high enough Last weekend, Whitman College’s new climbing wall was on display as the Climbing Center hosted the 18th Annual Sweet Onion Crank by BAILEY ARANGO Staff Reporter

While every day spent at the climbing wall is an exciting one, the last Saturday in April holds a special place in the hearts of Whitman College outdoor enthusiasts; last Saturday, April 24, Whitman College hosted its 18th annual Sweet Onion Crank, a celebration of rock climbing and outdoor culture rendered all the more special by the Crank debut of Sherwood Athletic Center’s new indoor climbing wall,

FENNELL Daniel Swain ‘13 scales one of the 55 routes on Whitman’s new climbing wall.

which opened to students this fall. The 40 foot tall, 100 foot wide indoor wall saw over 75 entrants participate in a day full of workshops, ONION CR ANK , page 11

Varsity Nordic to partner with DGs for 24-hour fundraiser by AMI TIAN Staff Reporter

It’s time, once again, for 24-hour improv. Next Friday, May 7, starting at 6 p.m. and going until 6 p.m. Saturday, Varsity Nordic will be performing improv in Olin 130 as part of its annual fundraiser for Blue Mountain Heart-To-Heart, a local non-profit providing support to people living with HIV/AIDS. Throughout the night the group will be accepting donations and selling refreshments; there will also be chances for audience members to win prizes. However, some aspects of the event will be slightly differently this year. First of all, the improv is going to be split into two-hour blocks, each of which will be directed by a different team member. Each hour will also have a theme. The themes will be chosen during the event, but possible examples include: Pokemon, “children’s hour,” pirates and Jack Kerouac, according to Varsity Nordic. Varsity Nordic is also teaming up with the Delta Gamma sorority, which will cover organizational aspects of the fundraiser this year, such as advertising and selling refreshments. In past years, Varsity Nordic has encountered difficulties in attempting to put on a 24-hour show and fundraise at the same time. Accordingly, members of the comedy group have had a much easier time preparing for the event this year with the extra help. “In the past we had the whole team split up and try and to do advertising and we are just bad at that,” said sophomore Sam Alden. “Improv is

of Club Latino. “There are kids that typically don’t go on many campus visits. They’re not really that exposed to college.” The day began with a breakfast where the high school students had a chance to meet Whitman students and ask them questions about college. After this, students were assigned to go to classes with Club Latino members and other Whitman students who had volunteered. The Walla Walla students also toured campus and had lunch with Whitman students and professors. Nohemy Solorzano-Thompson, associate professor of foreign languages and literatures– Spanish, feels that encouraging Latino students to attend college is critical. “Latinos in the United States

BULLION Justis Phillips ‘12 and Peter Richards ‘10 get ready for the upcoming 24-hour improv marathon at a recent practice session.

kind of the only thing that we seem to be able to do really well.” In addition to items donated by downtown Walla Walla businesses, prizes will include personalized “goody bags,” which senior Alex Kerr described as “a grab bag of cool foods and toys and things from downtown thrown into a bag, along with custom stuff from the person who’s coaching. So whatever it is they love or like they’ll throw in there, notes to you, stuff from their garbage can (probably not), things from their attic . . .” The main difference from previous years, according to Kerr, who has been with the group since his freshman year, is the level of audience participation. “We’re making it more personal for the audience,” said Kerr. “So there’s more prizes you can win where you come onstage, you decide what we

play, you decide what the themes are and there’s more things to win.” Alden gave an example of an audience request from last year’s show. “Somebody paid [senior Alex Cassidy and junior Kevin Klein] $20 to have them make out onstage as dinosaurs,” Alden recalled. “There’s been some talk about maybe having a $20 ‘insert a make out scene’ option but it’s still up in the air. It might not be kosher,” said Alden. Part of what gets the group through the night is the audience, which, contrary to what one might think, never disappears entirely. “I remember one guy stayed for 24 hours, staying in the same spot,” said Alden. “We’re never performing to an empty auditorium; there’s always a few guys there even at four in the VARSITY NORDIC, page 7

LOOS-DIALLO

Sweet Basil discontinues student discount night by LEA NEGRIN Staff Reporter

The Whitman tradition of going to Sweet Basil Pizzeria’s monthly $1 slice night has come to an end. The last of the discounted nights, which until last year were weekly, was Wednesday, April 7; this coming Wednesday, May 5, will mark the first first Wednesday of the month without the deal. For sophomore Julia Schneider, no discounts will likely mean fewer trips to the downtown pizza joint. “I feel like it was such a good deal. It’ll be special to go there but I’ll probably go less often,” she said. “It is very nice pizza so it can’t be very lucrative to sell it so inexpensively.” For first-year Alison Zegarra, however, the news was unfortunate but not disheartening. “It’s a pretty good price anyway in retrospect and it doesn’t change how I feel about Sweet Basil,” she said. Senior Lewis Silver recalled going weekly with friends, sometimes just to be with the hustle bustle of people. “I think that there are a lot of groups that have made it a part of their routine and I think that it will definitely end that immediate tradition although I don’t think it will stop people from going on a pretty regular basis,” he said. “There are pretty limited locations that you can walk

to around Whitman that have good food.” Sweet Basil Manager Stephanie Bowen said the original intent of dollar slice night was to encourage students to visit Sweet Basil. However, in recent months, the sheer volume of customers on discounted days was not only stressful on the facilities, but also for customers who often turned away due to the line. “We just don’t feel we have the space or the time to adequately get the product out in a timely fashion,” said Bowen. Many students were curious as to why Sweet Basil would eliminate the discounted night completely rather than simply adjusting it. “Whenever I’ve gone there . . . it has been packed, line out the door, and so it seems like even if they were to slightly raise the price they would still get to keep that rise [in customers] if they had a discount,” said Silver. Though the dollar a slice night has ended, there are still student discounts available at Sweet Basil. “We really appreciate the students,” said Bowen. Sweet Basil’s decision, though not popular, does not seem like it will result in too much of a change for students. “I think people already really like [Sweet Basil] and it has already established a name for itself so people will still go,” said sophomore Alyssa Breetwor.

ASWC 2011 Budget From $75 for the Medieval Society to $147,000 for the Whitman Events Board, see what each club and student-funded organization is set to receive for fiscal year 2011. page 2

NEWS

ASWC FY 2011 Budget ASWC approved its fiscal year 2011 budget on Sunday, April 21. The 2011 budget assumes 1445 students, 45 more than the 2010 budget, to take into account increases in enrollment over the past several years. The Student Travel and Conference Fund, The Pioneer, KWCW, SHAC and the Whitewater Club are the biggest gainers compared to fiscal year 2010. Campus Greens, the IHC, and ASWC Sound and Lights staff are among groups that will have a reduced budget next year. The 2011 budget also recognizes eight new clubs.

Organization

Grant 2010

Request 2011

Grant 2011

Action for Animals (AFA)

$450.00

$150.00

Aikido

$150.00

Anime

$150.00

Baking Club

$300.00

BSU

$1,560.00

$2,000.00

$1,982.00

Campus Greens

$1,750.00

$1,000.00

$150.00

Clubs

Campus Climate Challenge Club Latino

$2,300.00

$2,700.00

$2,265.00

Coalition Against Homophobia

$865.00

$880.00

College Coaches

$150.00

Dance

$250.00

$150.00

Drama

$1,840.00

$3,200.00

$1,960.00

FACE

$755.00

$800.00

$725.00

Fencing

$810.00

$1,300.00

$728.00

Hillel-Shalom

$930.00

$1,275.00

$1,000.00

Historical Society Hui Aloha

$2,200.00

$2,040.00

Interfraternity Council (IFC)

$620.00

$2,500.00

$1,239.00

International Students & Friends Club

$715.00

$790.00

$244.00

Juggling

$150.00

Mathematical

$100.00

Medieval Society

$150.00

$75.00

Mentors

$1,600.00

$1,500.00

Namaste

$370.00

$550.00

Panhellenic

$805.00

$1,230.00

$615.00

Peace Coalition

$150.00 $150.00

$150.00

Quiz Bowl Renfaire

$4,200.00

$4,000.00

$3,983.00

South Asian Students Association

$1,000.00

$1,100.00

$1,000.00

The Secession

$2,830.00

$940.00

Student Health Advisory Council (SHAC) $300.00

$1,650.00

Slam Poetry

$150.00

April 29, 2010A

WORKSHOP: directory of offcampus houses in the works  page 1 of their homes was to ask the police to keep an eye on the property if there was a history of break-ins. Burns and his housemates did this after their house was broken into. Apparently, the police listened. One time, at about 3 a.m., one of Burns’s housemates returned to the house from the library. When he had difficulty finding the appropriate key to let himself in, a spotlight switched on and a police officer confronted him. “The cop gave him a hard time,” Burns said. “And my housemate had to prove to the cop that he lived there. But it was great. The cop was doing his job, and if he were a burglar, he would have been arrested.” Burns wants to share this and similar information with students. He and Loranger also want to give the panel they have assembled a chance to share its advice with students. One focus will be renters insurance. “Someone is going to talk about renters insurance,” said Loranger. “People don’t even know about renters insurance.” Loranger is also assembling a directory of off-campus housing options based on the results of a survey handed out earlier this year. “The survey . . . was just asking basic questions, like if you live in an off-campus house, where is it? What’s its name? How many bedrooms does it have? How many bathrooms? How is the landlord? What’s the rent?” In the end, Burns stressed that Walla Walla landlords are not overwhelmingly

bad. “I guess the bad landlords get the most attention and get talked about the most; with the good landlords there’s nothing to talk about.” Burns said the aim of his and Loranger’s initiative was not to make students suspicious or hostile toward their landlords but rather to empower them and put them on an even footing. Students seem to agree that these sorts of initiatives are worthwhile. Junior Emily Allen, who lives off campus, has good relations with her landlord, but knows that this is not the case for many others. “I have friends who have had trouble with their landlords,” Allen said. Junior McKenna Milici agreed. She also said she believed some students did not understand the implications of signing a lease. “I’m sure there are some people who sign a lease and don’t realize what kind of a legal, binding agreement they’re putting themselves in,” she said. “So I think any sort of resource campus would provide would be useful.” Milici added that she thought Whitman-owned off-campus housing appealed to students because it obviated the need for such knowledge; Whitman looks out for students’ interests without them having to take the same kind of initiative, she said. Allen agreed. “I heard from a girl who lives in one of those houses that her faucet broke. She made a call and a guy was over there within hours. That would be amazing,” she said. “It took our landlord two weeks to get our microwave fixed.”

Snowsports

$450.00

Unitarian Universalists

$150.00

Vietnamese Culture

$500.00

$250.00

$150.00

BFFC adjusts Saturday hours in seasonal shift

Volunteer Club

$300.00

$400.00

by JOSH GOODMAN

Wrestling Club

$115.00

$170.00

Associate News Editor

Whitewater

$150.00

$1,150.00

VOX

$390.00

$500.00

$440.00

Whitman Direct Action

$1,660.00

$1,500.00

$150.00

$600.00

Quarterlife

$4,220.00

$4,250.00

$4,000.00

Blue Moon

$19,500.00

$19,000.00

KWCW

$24,000.00

$29,420.00

$28,420.00

Pioneer

$36,288.00

$41,616.00

WEB

$147,000.00

IHC

$5,500.00

$4,400.00

IHC Block Party

$4,500.00

Sound Equipment

$2,000.00

Sound Labor

$10,000.00

$7,500.00

Whitman Pre-Med Youth Adventure Program (YAP)

Campus Media

Programming

$3,000.00

SHADOW: ongoing guidance available in college planning

$1,600.00

 page 1

ASWC Funds ASWC Office

$3,000.00

Office: Oversight Travel/Conference Fund

$16,043.00

$25,500.00

Club sports

$30,000.00

Contingency

$5,000.00

$6,000.00

Honorarium

$26,480.00

$24,100.00

Endowment

$13,132.00

$9,248.00

Non-discretionary Lifecycle Maintainance

Employee Salaries

$71,132.00

$72,554.64

$72,555.00

Allocated

Requests

Allocated

$446,330.00

$366,790.64

$462,400.00

Organic Garden

$2,250.00

$2,115.00

Service Learning Projects

$3,645.00

$3,419.00

Contingency

$3,855.00

$3,419.00

Total

The Baker Ferguson Fitness Center quietly changed its Saturday hours on April 17 in response to student feedback and seasonal changes in usage across Whitman’s athletic facilities. Saturday hours are now 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; they had been 8 a.m. to noon since the start of spring semester. The initial change to morning-only hours had prompted sharp criticism from students earlier this semester. Several students told The Pioneer in February that they were frustrated with the inability to use gym facilities on Saturday afternoons, especially since many students sleep in on Saturday mornings. The new hours

do not fully restore the 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. hours offered during the fall 2009 semester, nor do they restore Sunday morning hours that were also eliminated at the beginning of the semester. Michele Hanford, fitness facilities director, said that the additional hours at BFFC are possible because of cuts at Sherwood Athletic Center, which sees a seasonal decline in usage during the late spring. She said that student feedback played a role in the decision as well, and that though the changes were late in the semester, they’re “better late than never.” The enhanced Saturday hours run through May 8. A separate schedule for finals week and commencement goes into effect May 12.

Endowed Line Items

School sophomore AJ Walker. Other students at the table enthusiastically agreed. Marcos Medina, also a sophomore, said he wanted to study civil engineering in college. Though he would not be able to do so at Whitman, he enjoyed his visit. “It’s a pretty cool school,” he said. Growing up, Medina said college was not often on his mind. “My parents didn’t go to college. They didn’t really prepare me at all,” he said. “They told me to get the education I needed, but since they didn’t go to college, they didn’t really know.” Aguilar hopes that the event will be more than just a visit for the students. Club

Latino provides students with packets of information about college, and stresses that students can contact their Whitman hosts at any time if they have questions or want to know more. “Having these workshops helps them to feel like we’re approachable,” said Aguilar. He hopes to expand the program in the future, by keeping track of students and seeing how many of them end up applying to college. “We’re trying to figure out a way to not just have this be a one-time event,” he said. Lopez agreed that it is important students feel connected to Whitman. “They need to know that they have this access,” she said. “It’s trying to integrate the community and Whitman.”

Neurotoxin-processed soy poses health questions by RACHEL ALEXANDER Staff Reporter

Soy products are often perceived as environmentally-friendly alternatives to meat. In some ways, this can be true, but for many people, this assumption rests on the idea that soy products contain fewer chemicals and are more “natural” than their industrial meat counterparts. What many consumers may not be aware of is that most soy products are processed using hexane, a neurotoxin and EPA-regulated pollutant which can pose serious health problems for factory workers. A recent study by the Cornucopia Institute documents the many instances where hexane is used in food processing. Its primary use is to separate whole soybeans into soybean oil, fiber and protein. Although soy can be separated in other ways, hexane is the cheapest and yields the highest soy protein content. Organic foods legally cannot be processed using hexane, but there are some exceptions to this rule. Products labeled as “made with organic ingredients” are only required to be 70 percent organic; the remaining ingredients can

be processed with hexane. In addition, “certified organic” foods can contain minor hexane-processed ingredients, such as soy lecithin, an emulsifier used in a wide variety of foods. How serious of a problem is hexane? That depends on who you ask. Studies done on humans have focused on inhalation of hexane, which can be problematic in the high concentrations that some workers at processing plants are exposed to. Prolonged worker inhalation has been linked to muscle weakness and paralysis, according to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, and one study published in Environmental Health Perspectives linked worker exposure to a disease causing vision loss. Much less is known about oral exposure in humans, and the EPA toxicology report on hexane lists no studies that have been done on the subject. Foods processed with hexane are also not tested for hexane residue. Bon Appétit General Manager Roger Edens said he is concerned about the use of hexane in food, but doesn’t think there’s enough science to establish a human health risk.

“I think it’s something that really needs to be looked at,” he said. “I don’t think [the Cornucopia Institute study] is enough to clear it one way or another.” Numerous soy products are used in campus dining halls and Reid Café, including vegan dairy substitutes, tofu, soy sauce and pancake mix. Jewett Dining Hall Manager Julie Zumwalt said none of the soy products Jewett uses claim to be organic, meaning that they are almost certainly processed with hexane. Many dining hall soy products are provided through United Natural Foods, a distributor of natural and organic foods, but Edens said most of them are still non-organic. For vegetarians a n d vegans

at Whitman, the use of hexane is part of a larger dilemma posed by soy products. Many vegetarians don’t eat meat or animal products in part to limit their impact on the environment, but find themselves left with highly processed soy products as a primary source of protein. In addition, soybeans are often grown in tropical regions where forests are burned or cut down to make room for farms, adding to the food’s environmental impact. In spite of these problems, first-year vegan Natalie Jamerson said she eats tofu about once a day. “It is true that growing and processing soy products consumes resources, [but] it is my belief that eating the occasional piece of tofu has a much smaller impact than daily consumE. JOHNSON ing animal

products,” she said. “I am alarmed by the presence of chemicals in my tofu, but compared [to] the cholesterol and trans fats that are present in the majority of the population’s diet, I feel like I’m getting the better end of the deal.” Vegetarian first-year Henry Gales said he was largely unconcerned about the use of hexane in soy products. “I care in regard to the workers who are at risk, but I doubt it has any serious effects to consumers,” he said. “Breathing in the combustion byproducts of gasoline and the volatile fumes at the gas pump are probably hundreds if not thousands of times worse for you than ingesting minuscule amounts of hexane.” Edens agreed that it was unlikely that trace amounts of hexane present in foods would have serious human health impacts. He said that concerns about hexane point to a larger problem—the highly processed nature of most of the food we eat. “If you can’t figure out what it was when it grew, that’s a problem,” he said. “Ultimately, you’re better off if you actually know your farmers.”

NEWS

0April 29, 2010

3 ADVERTISEMENTS

Dia de los Niños celebration brings together kids, community

Come in and Hit one of Our 30 Beer Taps ... Then Hit one of Our 75 Menu Items. BULLION

25 West Alder Street 509.522.FUNK 21+

redmonkeylounge.com

86736 rh

Join our email monkey club at redmonkeylounge.com.

Oscar Jr. Montero, held up by his father Oscar Montero, watches a derby race ˜ during a Dia de los Ninos celebration at Washington Park on Saturday, April 24. The event, which also included booths, arts and crafts and free hot dogs, was put on by Commitment 2 Community.

PHOTOS BY BULLION Sara Portesan ‘13 and Walter Leitz ‘13 engage in a mock fight over the price of posies during the 40th annual Whitman Renaissance Faire.

Renaissance Faire brings 16thcentury flavor to Boyer Avenue Staff Reporter

Students, faculty and alumni dressed in Renaissance costumes, fenced, danced, performed in plays and even competed in unicycle jousting last weekend as part of the 40th annual Whitman Renaissance Faire. Over two dozen merchants also participated in this year’s Faire. Each year the Renaissance Faire committee, composed of around 20 Whitman students, organizes the Faire with funding from ASWC. According to senior Brittin Borland, chair of the committee, this year’s Faire differed from the previous ones in that there were more interactive activities, including medieval combat demonstrations and English folk dancing lessons. The Faire committee also used its funds to bring performers to Whitman for the event, such as Mossyback Morris Men—a dance troupe that attends many Renaissance Faires. “This year we’re trying to make the Renfaire experience more interactive for students that are passing through,” she said. Borland also noted that more students were involved this year than in previous years and that there were more people in costume. Borland credits Whitman students for the unique atmosphere of the Whitman Faire compared to other faires. “The students at Whitman give our Renaissance Faire its unique character.

We like to host a kind of ‘mellow’ faire: We let things sprawl, and there isn’t so much going on that it becomes chaotic or too loud,” she said. Senior Jackson Cahn, who is in charge of publicity for the Faire, says approximately 50 to 60 Whitman students participated in Faire events this year.

We like to host a kind of ‘mellow’ faire: We let things sprawl, and there isn’t so much going on that it becomes chaotic or too loud. - Brittin Borland ‘10

First-year Andrew Spickert participated in the unicycle jousting at this year’s Faire. Although he had never done unicycle jousting before, Spickert enjoyed the enthusiasm of the crowd. “It’s fun to have all the people and all the vendors here. Everyone is really excited,” he said. According to Cahn, the committee was concerned that there would not be as many vendors this year due to the poor economy. Yet there actually was an increase in the number of vendor applications this year. However, the Faire had difficulty finding a metal

smith to come to campus, as there was a welding conference in the Northwest that prevented many metal workers from attending. The Faire committee confronted many difficulties of organizing such a large event at Whitman. In order to prepare for the event, the committee got permission from Walla Walla to close down Boyer Avenue, certified the fights with the Whitman Safety Office, and contacted the city health department regarding vendor certification, among other tasks. “The number one difficulty is organization, just because of the sheer scale of the event. We have about 40 merchants, half a dozen musical groups, skits, kids’ activities, and we need to make sure that everyone is where they need to be,” said Cahn. Assistant Professor of History Brien Garnand played the role of “king” of the Renaissance Faire this year. As king, he participated in the plays and walked around the Faire to talk with visitors. After attending the Renaissance Faire in the past, Garnand decided to get involved. “Last year at the Faire I saw some of my students in dramatic performances and in fencing demonstrations. This year a couple of them roped me in, but I went willingly,” he said. Whitman students interested in becoming involved with the committee that organizes the Renaissance Faire should contact Cahn.

Left: Jackson Cahn ‘10 and Laura Evilsizer ‘11 raise their swords before onlookers during the main fight of the day, a simulated battle between the rich and the poor. Top Right: An alumnus, dressed as royalty, gestures to his subjects. Several alumni returned to take part in the annual event. Bottom Right: Brittin Borland ‘10 gets invested in her Renaissance role.

21 and over

92827 rh

by JOE VOLPERT

1427 Plaza Way • Walla Walla, WA 99362 509-525-9971 • stonehutbar.com

The Pioneer Presents Graduation 2010 Special Edition Coming Soon

To find out more information or to advertise in the Graduation Edition, contact graduation@whitmanpioneer.com

FEATURE

April 29, 2010A

Subcultural appreciation

What makes up a subculture on Whitman’s campus? An aversion to ducks, wheat fields and rock climbing? Or maybe it’s more about what unites people—distinctive interests and values or a certain style. This week’s Feature delves into a few Whitman subgroups, asking students in the know what keeps them together and how their culture is unique.

WOLFF

Campus Mormons combat common stereotypes by BECKY NEVIN Staff Reporter

Whitman students junior Kate Robinette and sophomores Chase Richards and Trisha Way identify themselves as Mormon. There are currently very few Mormons on campus, and perhaps because of this, stereotypes regarding the Mormon religion persist in the minds of many members of the Whitman community. Way converted to Mormonism when she was 12 and living in Japan. She continues to practice her faith by attending a singles ward in Walla Walla, but is conscious of the fact that there are very few Mormons at Whitman. “Mormons that you find here are very inactive or liberal Mormons,” said Way. The truth of the matter is that relatively few Mormons have attended Whitman. According to a 2006 survey of first-years, 54.3 percent of entering students claimed no religious affiliation, while only 0.4 percent identified themselves as Mormon. Way explained that people are often surprised when they learn that she is Mormon after having known her for a while because they expect Mormons to fill their various stereotypes. “I have very actively tried to break down those pre-conceived notions of scary Utah Mormons,” she said.

As Way attended a Mormon church in Tokyo, she grew up with the knowledge that the Mormon culture and Mormon religion are two distinct concepts that are all too often merged in the minds of those who have little knowledge of the religion or culture. This is why when one pictures a “Mormon,” they often think of communities of Mormons in Utah. “[Mormonism] was my life in a more personal way. Then you get these people who grew up with it and look down on the ‘outsiders,’” said Way, speaking of those who grow up in Mormon communities. Way also recognizes that high-density Mormon areas create interesting societies that are hard to describe and are the basis of many stereotypes that exist in the minds of non-Mormons. For instance, many of the communities are very homogeneous, with kids and young adults who fulfill the image of virtuous and perfect teenagers. However, according to Way, these high-density areas are not the rule, but the exception. Although exact numbers are contested, Way says that there are many more Mormons outside of the United States than most people expect. In contrast to Way, Chase Richards grew up in a high-density Mormon area and briefly attended Brigham Young

University. He described BYU as a very uniform environment in which he “stuck out like a sore thumb.” Richards left BYU after he decided that he did not want to go on a mission; every 19-year-old male is asked to go on a mission by the church. “I grew up for 19 years wanting to go on a mission because they teach you for a very long time that that’s what you want to do,” said Richards. Richards explained that when he did not go on a mission, he was ostracized by the BYU community. “You can’t even get a date as a nonreturn missionary over the age of 18,” said Richards. As the son of a bishop, Richards possesses a deep knowledge of Mormonism and its tenets and also tries to clear away stereotypes. “I’ve had dozens of people ask me about things they’ve heard on South Park,” said Richards. Aside from South Park and other forms of popular culture, many stereotypes emerge from ignorance. “There are a lot of stereotypes because Mormonism is just like any other group of individuals that people don’t take the time to understand,” said Richards. First of all, Richards explains the larger concepts of Mormonism. “I think that people think it’s not a

Christian religion. It is very much so. [The] central figure of the church is Jesus Christ,” said Richards. In addition, Mormons do not reject the Christian Bible; they simply take it as fact in combination with the Book of Mormon. According to Mormon beliefs, the Book of Mormon is an additional testament of Jesus Christ, as revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith in 1823. Another large stereotype that people hold in regards to Mormons is that they practice polygamy. Richards explained that Mormons from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have not practiced polygamy for a very long time. Although some fanatical sects still practice, it should not be associated with the main Mormon Church. Way said that polygamy actually arose out of necessity in the early LDS church. When the Mormons arrived in Utah, most of the men had been killed in the prior years of persecution and so in order to protect the extra women, men took multiple wives for that short period of time. Another common stereotype that many hold of Mormons is that they wear ridiculous underwear all the time. Richards explains that this practice is purely symbolic and is only for those

who have been in the inner part of the temple. “They’re very comfortable from what I’ve been told,” said Richards. Kate Robinette, who is studying abroad, brought up other stereotypes held by some Whitman students. In an e-mail, she mentioned that although she chooses not to drink alcohol or coffee and smoke, it’s a myth that Mormons can’t have carbonated or caffeinated drinks. Robinette also addressed the stereotype that Mormons are conservative fanatics. According to Robinette, all Mormons try to be well-educated and Mormonism is not about brainwashing. “I would like to end the stereotype that Mormons hate LBGTQ people or that we think homosexuality is a ‘choice’ that can be healed or reversed. We also are not aligned with any political party,” said Robinette. Richards recommends going online to credible sources such as LDS.org or reading the Book of Mormon to find out more. Seeking more information can serve as an antidote to the negative images that persist, even in an educated community like Whitman. For those who practice it, Mormonism is a nuanced, complex religion that is meaningful far beyond any stereotype.

A closer look at some stuff Whitman kids like

While Whitman advertises “differences that enrich personal growth,” there are some seriously entrenched trends and shared tendencies saturating campus. In the spirit of stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, Whitman kids like: by JENNY WILLIS Staff Reporter

Patagonia

Settlers of Catan

For disapproving of colonialism so adamantly we’re surprisingly keen to take up the mantle.

Bystanding duck rape and chatting about the emotional damage later. Apparently the male ducks get their biological queues via water temperature, while the femmes figure it out via air temp. What ecological havoc has the geothermal heating of Lakum Duckum wrought on the world?

My brother graduated in ‘07 and before I came he told me if I didn’t learn to throw I wouldn’t have any friends.

Elipticals

Getting really into the elliptical at the gym and bouncing around while either reading long scholarly articles or watching television.

Timbuk2s

Campus often looks like a training ground for the North American Cycle Courier Championships, though it doesn’t follow that every messenger bag comes with a bike. So it’s the NACCC dismounted.

“Reeking of privilege”

—but only when called on it by Sherman Alexie. Otherwise it’s hush hush and only to be discussed in the most self-aware, self-deprecatory tones.

Avoiding crosswalks

The roads on campus might as well be sidewalks for all the heed we pay motor vehicles. Conversely, sidewalks are often used by cyclists as if they’re bike lanes, which they distinctly aren’t. If you’re late for class it is at most a two-minute walk and the 30 seconds you save biking aren’t worth the irritation you incite en route.

Duck rape discussions

Frisbee

“The Wire”

Most probably liked “The West Wing” first, but the grit and wit of “The Wire” has trumped President Bartlett’s charm. Also, many who liked to pretend Jed was actually our president are more optimistic about paying attention to our current POTUS and may have transfered some of their political attention span accordingly. Extra cool kids watch “Treme.”

The only thing better than the company and all the progressive corporate responsibility it espouses is wearing old Patagonia gems salvaged from your parents’ closets or the Goodwill, and telling your peers about how you plan to send such-and-such back for repairs in order to get some refurbished Patagucci shot back at you for free.

WOLFF

Being hot

Another well-received observation of Alexie. We can now book ourselves as not only the happiest but also the bestlooking campus around.

Available in the bookstore with just the swipe of a key card. Instant gratification, delayed payment accountability.

13 9 Foreign 10 friends Nudity

Nude ski trips, nude runs, nude saunas.

The only thing that beats having a free place to stay in Berlin or Buenos Aires is telling people you have a free place to stay in Berlin or Buenos Aires. CouchSurfing may make the former better for all, but it certainly ruins the latter for some.

Used furniture

Used furniture passed down ritually through the generations.

Moleskins

American Apparel

I’d estimate 75 percent of the population owns at least one am.app hoodie. There’s also a minority contingent that looks to be competing for American Apparel ad status on a daily basis . . . A cautionary pastime as those advertisements are getting weirder by the hour.

Packages

Getting packages of cookies, vitamins and Smartwools sent from wherever home is.

Outdoors Being outdoorsy and dressing to prove it.

Wheat fields

Wheat field excursions. We make use of what we’ve got.

Themed parties

Damnit guys, I’m a transfer and this scene gets exhausting. I already don’t know who anyone is and adding mustaches and dressing like communists only makes things worse.

Fixies

Especially colorcoordinated get ups. Expensive biking outfits (including matching pink sunnies) and wearing one pant leg fashionably rolled to the knee all day after a two minute ride to campus.

Macs

Well ahead of American Apparel sweatshirts, you can’t look around the library without the last three generations of Macintosh laptops cheekily winking their apples in your general direction.

Water bottles

From Siggs to aluminum knockoffs to glass jars, we’re all about hydration. There’s also a lot of tea and coffee getting around in mason jars, which are much cooler than coffee cups though fairly inconvenient considering glass’ transmission of heat.

Birks

Birks, Chacos, runners and those few who wear Nike kicks for a nod. Note that you’re only allowed to flaunt your Chacos if you’ve got the proper Chaco tan to go along with.

Clarette’s

T-shirts

Frats

Whitties

The rock wall

A solid connection with the oldest generations in Walla Walla.

Preferably Whitman ones. The KWCW event last weekend serves as a testament; loads of students stood in line for upwards of two hours to snag the latest. And while most whined about it for the rest of the weekend, they still did it.

Frats that aren’t frats but are nonetheless fairly fratty.

Calling each other Whitties. Whether it’s embraced full-on or bandied about with disdain, there are at the very least traces of pride and satisfaction in the term.

Which will forever be the new rock wall.

FEATURE

0April 29, 2010

Human vs. Zombies culture infects Whitman by GRANT BRADLEY Staff Reporter

In the space of less than five years, Humans vs. Zombies has grown into a national and worldwide phenomenon. From Cornell to Chico State, from the University of Florida to the University of Wisconsin—Madison, the ranks of Nerf gun-equipped, bandanna-clad players have swelled in American colleges and even popped up in countries like Denmark, Korea and Australia. Laura Wexler of the Washington Post posits the dedication participants demonstrate as almost mystical. “To play a game as immersive and fantastical as Zombies,” said Wexler in a 2008 article, “is to give oneself over completely and utterly, despite how silly it looks, despite what others might think.” Even Stephen Colbert commented on his show, proclaiming the dangers of turning the impending zombie apocalypse into a game. “We must stop these college jerks from trivializing the threat of the undead,” he said in late 2008. At Whitman, Humans vs. Zombies has been on campus since the very beginning of the game. In 2005, students Brad Sappington and Chris Weed implemented the first game at Goucher College, located in a suburb of Baltimore, Md. A Whittie who happened to be a personal friend of one of the founding members of the game on the East Coast soon found out about this intensive and expansive game of moderated tag. Interest brewed on campus, and several dozen students quickly came together to join in on Walla Walla’s first ever session of Humans vs. Zombies. Whitman’s inaugural game of HvZ coincided with Goucher’s second game, making our humble Home of the Missionaries one of the first colleges in the nation to get in on the trend. The game has only grown since. This past fall marked one of the biggest

games in Whitman’s history, attracting 212 players. Sophomore Michael Schier, one of the central moderators of this year’s games, explained that the game has changed somewhat over the years due to the difficulties that arise from organizing so many people. Missions—events organized by the moderators that set zombies against humans trying to reach some sort of goal—have been significantl y altered since the game began at Whitman.

“In the two first games I played some of the missions were very confrontational,” Schier said. “The humans would have to guard one particular spot or all the zombies would know where the humans are, so it would end up in a huge clash between both sides, and that usually ended up with a lot of people getting pissed off . . . So the new missions we made, especially this spring, really focused on players.” While whizzing Nerf darts and balled-up socks have been a mainstay of Humans vs. Zombies since its inception, talk of melee weapons—those that do not involve a projectile like a sock

or dart—has always lurked in the background. Despite the zombie mythos’ incorporation of cricket bats and chain saws as repellents of the living dead, moderators remain hesitant to allow foam swords because of fairness and safety worries. “There are a lot of people who think they’d unbalance the game tremendously, a lot of people think they’d be really cheap, a

WOLFF lot of people think they’d be dangerous. We’d love to be able to incorporate melee weapons in the future, but we won’t until we know that we can,” he said. In addition to the huge amount of logistical work moderators put in to ensure HvZ runs smoothly, players also spend a lot of time prepping for the game itself. Schier mechanically modifies his Nerf guns and makes his own darts out of foam rolls from Home Depot and washers and foam pads bought on eBay. According to Schier, modifications to the toy guns hone accuracy and increase range by up to 50 percent. Technical aspects aside, Humans vs.

East, West cultures clash by AMY CHAPMAN Staff Reporter

As the academic year comes to a close, statistics regarding the fall 2010 entering first-year class begin to trickle in. The GPA is a little bit higher, the gender gap a little bit wider, but one thing never seems to change. According to the statistics released March 29, 63.5 precent of next year’s class will come from the West coast states of Washington, California and Oregon. In contrast, only 3.3 percent will come from New York, Massachusetts and Maine. How does this majority influence Whittie culture? And what do the East Coasters have to say about it? One of the most interesting aspects of the East Coast–West Coast rivalry is the confusion about what characteristics identify each group. Junior Charlie Procknow was born and raised in Boston until moving to Denver at the age of 14. After living on both coasts, he can identify some differences between cultures. “I’m stereotyping really blatantly here, but the biggest thing that I’ve realized moving out here is that people are way more well-rounded,” he said. “It’s a much less work-centered environment and way less stressful.” For Procknow, East Coast culture was highly competitive. His school in Boston was graded on a bell curve, which meant that there were only two A’s given in a class. “People were directly competing against everyone else, which created an environment where people didn’t want to help each other out. I see that developing a lot more on the East Coast rather than the West Coast, where people are more self-driven,” Procknow said. Sophomore Laurent Officer’s similar observations led to different impressions of East and West Coast culture. Officer, who spent his early childhood living abroad in Amsterdam and Paris, grew up in Hanover, N.H. His international background, combined with his personal experience living in America, give him a very different, but resonant view of East and West Coast culture differences. According to Officer, being an East Coaster means being “honest, whether it hurts or not.” This contrasts with a dominant West Coast culture that appears to cover up or internalize the truth in order to maintain a facade of openness. Prior to coming to Whitman, Officer had never been to the West Coast before, a fact which he admits probably skews his perception of

the culture here. “I know that Whitman is not a perfect representation of the West Coast. That being said, I find myself getting in a lot of problems with kids here and I can’t help miss the East Coast and feel like it’s the West Coast’s fault. It seems like West Coast kids don’t say how they feel and hold stuff back, because they want to seem like they’re open to everything. But deep down they really do have grievances with people, they aren’t accepting of everyone, and on the East Coast you would hear it if people don’t like each other,” Officer said. Yet while this coastal difference has led to frustration for Officer, he also recognizes its potential value. “As a French kid on the East Coast

It’s not that one coast is inferior or superior; people should go out and explore. - David Abramovitz ‘10

I definitely got a lot of shit. People in France are really particular about their clothes, but on the East Coast I got called names like, ‘French frog’ and ‘faggot.’ I never got that on the West Coast; people would never say that, because people want to appear open.” The appearance of openness, while difficult in friendships, does lend itself to one West Coast characteristic that Officer does admire. “Some West Coast kids I have mad respect for because they’re actually really honest even if it makes them appear weaker,” he said. “People are able to do stuff they really want without feeling like they’re going to be judged for it, not going to get called out for doing stuff, so you can be who you want to be.” The openness of West Coast culture, in one native’s opinion, can be summed up in a word: “chillness.” Senior David Abramovitz, born and raised in the Bay Area, added that while West Coasters definitely do appear more open and laid back than their more brutally-honest eastern brothers, this openness comes with some arrogance. “As far as the Bay Area is concerned, there is lots of natural beauty there, so maybe there is a good justification for arrogance. But since coming to college and then returning to the Bay Area

Zombies ultimately serves as a way to forge friendships outside of the academic setting. Sophomore Drake Skaggs believes that the game offers a outlet from the normal rigor of college life. “I think it is a fun game—it’s a good break from the everyday monotony of life, just for a week or two perhaps, just kind of hang out and change your life up a little bit. There’s sort of an

it has just been more and more pronounced and obnoxious,” he said. Abramovitz’s impression of West Coast arrogance was exacerbated by his first two years as a student at UCLA. “The arrogance was taken to such an extreme that all people acred about was themselves. That was a really big reason for me leaving. A lot of people at Whitman are from places where weather isn’t nice all year, actually snowy and dark for six months of the year. It changes people when they come from different climates that are not beautiful all the time,” Abramovitz said. Abramovitz’s overall impressions of the dominance of West Coast culture at Whitman led to his conclusion that, no matter what side of the country one calls home, what is needed is an open attitude and recognition that other places are great, too. “It’s not that one coast is inferior or superior; people should go out and explore,” Abramovitz said. He plans to turn this recommendation into action by traveling to New England this coming summer. Senior McKenzie Fitzwater, who grew up on the cold oceanic straits of Port Angeles, Wash., went farther then Abramovitz’s recommendation, pushing people to deconstruct the very idea of a unified West or East Coast culture. After spending two years at the Walla Walla Community College, Fitzwater’s preconceptions about West Coast identity were shattered. The diversity of students in her community college classes made any regional differences between Whitman students appear trivial in her eyes. “At Community College, there was everything from Running Start students from high school to students who didn’t speak English to single mothers,” she said. This stands in stark contrast to the homogeneity Fitzwater glimpses in her Whitman classes. “When you say East Coast/West Coast it seems an oversimplification of the groups that we have here. We don’t come here based on those distinctions . . . Because this is a liberal arts college, a certain type of person is going to want to come here, regardless of where they’re from. Maybe people speak or drive a little differently, but certain values, such as liberal arts, prestige, a small campus, are more important than values that are different East Coast to West Coast,” Fitzwater said.

interesting microcosm that happens. Suddenly there’s a society in a society, people who are playing and people who aren’t. There’s the camaraderie, too,” he said. Schier agreed that one of the best parts of Humans vs. Zombies is the friendships you make in the course of the game. “It’s really interesting how many people you meet that you would not normally meet through classes,” he said. “I’ve become friends with people from various social and class groups that I definitely would never meet without this game.”

Not everyone shares the enthusiasm felt by repeat players of the game, however. Sophomore Zach Schierl enjoyed playing, but couldn’t think of participating every session. “It’s fun,” he said. “I would do it once a year. I’m not going to do it once every semester, though. When I play, I get really into it, and it basically makes it hard to get other things done.” Human vs. Zombies does have its fair share of detractors. Senior David Abramovitz remains annoyed over the action and intensified hoopla surrounding the game. “As someone who has worn bandanas around his head for over two years, I was nothing but irritated by the constant threat of Nerf missiles and rolled up socks,” he said in an e-mail. “I shared no empathy with zombies; in one sense it was flattering, but they mostly just all stole my style. I had only contempt and animosity towards the humans, who really put more into this fucking game with an invested interest far surpassing any other passion I have seen at Whitman. I think that's a little sad.” For Skaggs, however, HvZ offers a fun escape, despite the attitudes that some have toward the game. “It’s a good time, man. I’m sure some people think it’s childish, or immature or something, but those are the people who hate fun anyway, so, I don’t know how you’re going to bring them to do anything, ever,” he said. Regardless of the strong feelings felt by both players and non-players on campus, Humans vs. Zombies has become something of an institution here at Whitman College. As a casual participant myself, the lightning strike of adrenaline that rushes through your body as you narrowly dodge a zombie’s swiping hand is a thrilling switch-up from the norm of reading textbooks and writing papers.

For group gamers, community is key by HADLEY JOLLEY Staff Reporter

This year, juniors Ryan Lum and Christopher D’Autremont came together with some friends to test out a zombie role-playing game using scrabble tiles—one created by another Whitman student, senior Jackson Cahn. Despite its novelty, the game worked out fairly well. “I knew the rules inside and out in 30 minutes. It was a totally new system, too—I’d never played any scrabble-based games before,” said D’Autremont. Role-playing games like zombie scrabble, as well as other types like board games and those played on the computer, are quite popular at Whitman. For many students, they offer camaraderie, community and a chance to think critically outside of an academic setting. Gamers are often seen as geeks, according to Lum, and he says there is some truth to the stereotype. However, Lum believes that the geek image is only particularly true of the most extreme gamers. Role-playing games have a slightly different focus than other games, as their structure encourages creativity and is tailored to each individual group. They are also unique because the person who is running the

describes four basic character types in Dungeons and Dragons, the game he most commonly plays. Two types, the leader and the tank, are less active in fighting, but are easier, he claims, off of which to build a good story. The other two, controller and striker, are more useful for focusing on the fight scenes of the story. Lum prefers to play one of the first two. This chance for storytelling is what sets role-playing games apart from other games. Sophomore Tim Wilder, another Whitman student who likes to game, prefers strategy games, like Settlers of Catan and Magic: the Gathering. He has played some roleplaying games—he considers some role-playing games, like Dungeons and Dragons, to be strategy games—but what he wants out of a game is not the same as Lum and D’Autremont. “Games where you have decision trees which affect who wins and loses are strategy games,” said Wilder. He prefers games that challenge his decision-making skills, which keep him thinking and analyzing outside of class. This same benefit also draws in people who prefer other types of

g a m e , like the table-top variety. “I think the game— main draw of tablesometimes called top role-playing games WOLFF the dungeon master—has is that it offers a nonquite a bit of power over what academic outlet for critical happens. thinking and creativity,” said “There are several ways to approach D’Autremont. Dungeons and Dragons. One revolves Park of the gamer stereotype suggests around group storytelling,” said Lum. that players are solitary and isolated. In Lum compared the second way to opposition to this image, D’Autremont play to computerized fantasy adventure and Lum both said that the most fun games, like Zelda and Final Fantasy. part of role-playing games is in getting “It’s you the player against the to know the people they play with. dungeon master,” he said. “Most groups “The main fun of the game isn’t in the are a combination of the two.” game itself, but rather the interaction Lum, however, prefers games with a between players and the person focus on storytelling, not fighting. He running the game,” said D’Autremont.

A&E

The Pioneer ISSUE 12 APR. 29, 2010 Page 6

SENIOR ART MAJORS SHOW OFF WORK IN LATEST SHEEHAN GALLERY EXHIBITION by LIZ SIENG Staff Reporter

KWCW SHOW OF T HE W EEK The Blues Therapy Show was started over six years ago when â&#x20AC;&#x153;Biggdaddyâ&#x20AC;? Ray Hansen answered the call for summer replacement deejays. Armand â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Doctorâ&#x20AC;? Parada joined Hansen on the very first show and has never left. The Blues Therapy Show reports to national playlists including The Roots Music Report. The show has been nominated five times for Best Blues Radio Show by the Inland Empire Blues Society. Although they have never won (the IEBS is a Spokane, Wash. organization) they have garnered many votes and even acted as guest emcees two years ago. Blues Therapy plays any and all blues to include artists from many different countries, with a love for spotlighting local and regional talent. Blues Therapy often plays music that bends the blues genre because Hansen and Parada believe the blues canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be pigeonholed. Their Facebook fanpage is taking off with over 700 fans. t ;; 5PQ i #MVFTw One Foot in the Blues) t Ä&#x2021;F 'BU 5POFT i" -PU UP -FBSOw (Bomb Run) t #PCCZ 3VTI i$IJDLFO )FBETw (Black Snake Moan soundtrack) Listen in to Blues Therapy Sunday, 7-9 p.m. only on KWCW 90.5 FM. Stream online at kwcw.net.

Imagine having your senior thesis openly available on campus for anyone to view or critique. For studio art majors, this comes as no surprise. In the Whitman Studio Art Department, spring semester ends with the Senior Art Theses Exhibition, a month-long event for senior art majors to show off their final projects as undergraduate students. A crowd of students and professors gathered in Sheehan Gallery in Olin Hall last Friday evening, April 23, to witness the opening of the exhibition. This year the exhibition will show the work of 12 student artists. Here is glimpse into a few of the pieces this year: â&#x20AC;&#x153;One Pair of Jeansâ&#x20AC;? by Mia Huth â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an examination and a critique of our interaction with the consumer goods in our society. In a capitalist society, consumerism is largely based on the exploitation of labor,â&#x20AC;? said Huth. Her piece consists of a disassembled pair of jeans: a zipper, a button, copper rivets and an abundance of thread. Using the thread as the central focus of her piece, Huth constructs a pattern of crisscrossing lines woven around needles across a blank wall. However, the piece appears unfinished, as the viewer notices a spool of excess thread that remains connected to the pattern and open for use. In her artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s statement, Huth invites viewers to join in the weaving process. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I put so many hours into unraveling the jeans and then tying the thread together. It gave me a new understanding of what factory labor must be like,â&#x20AC;? said

BOWMAN Megan Bush â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;10 examines one of the 12 senior thesis projects on display during the exhibitionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opening reception this past Friday, April 23. It will run until May 23.

Huth. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I wanted to viewer share in that in some way. If someone did go into the gallery and spend a significant amount of time weaving, they would experience something similar.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Future Built for Twoâ&#x20AC;? by Warren McDermott During a three-day solo venture in the Blue Mountains, McDermott came to a realization that continues to inspire him. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The experience I had was about realizing the connections I have with people around me and about growing as an individual person. I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really do [the latter] without people being a part of it,â&#x20AC;? said McDermott. His piece consists of a pair of large and strikingly beautiful carved and polished wooden rocking chairs. Intertwined at the feet and joined at the armrests, the coupled rocking chairs

invoke the notion of relationship held by time and intimacy. Each chair has its own unique shape and design as a result of free-form carving. As a student of sculpture, McDermott has focused on woodwork in his senior year. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any plans or sketches. I just kind of made [the rocking chairs] by letting them take their own form,â&#x20AC;? said McDermott. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re making furniture or something that has to fit together, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually not the way you go about doing it. This gave room for each chair to have its own personality.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Self-Portraitâ&#x20AC;? by Julia DaRosa â&#x20AC;&#x153;My main goal would be to get people to interact with it,â&#x20AC;? said DaRosa, describing the function of her sculpturepainting. Her piece consists of multiple oil paintings on mounted canvasses and a suspended layer of glass. Faces of peo-

ple cover the canvas and glass paintings, which according to DaRosa, are faces of family, friends, strangers and other people who have impacted her life. At first glance, the paintings come off as a curious arrangement of monotonous blue textures and pictures of faces. In navigating inside and around the paintings, the viewer begins to notice an unavoidable relationship between his or her existence and a surrounding community. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can walk into it and see your reflection and your shadow cast on the walls and on the piece,â&#x20AC;? explained DaRosa. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This piece is about personal and collective identity.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Life and Works of Gillian Barnesâ&#x20AC;? by Iris Alden â&#x20AC;&#x153;I came up with the idea of creating a fictional character a long time ago,â&#x20AC;? said Alden, explaining the underlying idea of her piece. Combining her interests of writing, photography and creative thinking, Alden grounded her piece in the personality of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gillian Barnes,â&#x20AC;? a deceased bookstore clerk who led a private and unknown life of artistic production. Presenting a wide arrangement of household furniture, artwork and personal belongings, Alden creates a living space that commands the entrance and exploration of viewers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was interested in creating artifacts and exploring an alter-ego,â&#x20AC;? said Alden. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every time I thought of a new thing to put in, it was a really exciting moment.â&#x20AC;? The Senior Art Exhibition will run free and open to the public in Sheehan Gallery in Olin Hall until May 23.

Museum of Un-Natural History spices BOOK REVIEW of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Magiciansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; up Main Street with provocative art Spell ultimately unsustainable by CAITLIN HARDEE

thoughts, I thought, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t he just call it Narnia already?!â&#x20AC;? The stopping Some really interesting things happen point between our world and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fillory,â&#x20AC;? for when literary critics or book reviewers example, wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t call to mind any reference (who arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already authors) try their points in readers only familiar with the hands at writing novels. You can get in- more famous Narnia books, but to any credibly complex, intelligent works of reader of "The Magicianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nephew," itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s art like Umberto Ecoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s "The Name of the an obvious symmetry. Frankly, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m surRose," T.H. Whiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s "The Once and Fu- prised C.S. Lewisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s estate didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take issue ture King" or Scarlett Thomasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s "The End with all the similarities, but admittedly, of Mr. Y," or you can get Lev Grossmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not that well versed with publishing "The Magicians." and copyright law. There are allusions Published August of 2009, "The Ma- to Rowlingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world as wellâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;both a joke gicians" tells the story of Quentin Cold- about Quidditch and a reference to Herwater, an extremely bright and unhappy mioneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s teethâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but the Harry Potter comhigh school senior preparing to go off to parisons are more dialogic or structural collegeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;specifically, Princeton. Quen- than the Narnia ones or the references to tin is still secretly obsessed with Fillory, Whiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Arthuriana. the Narnia-replica As a novel, "The Mafantasy series from gicians" is aggressively his youthâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;an obself-awareâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;there are a session that allows lot of remarks about â&#x20AC;&#x153;if for his suspension this were a novel like of disbelief when the Fillory booksâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he is invited to test and Quentinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s affected into Brakebills Colironic detachment lege for Magical gets real annoying, real Pedagogy, a magic fast. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s there from the school in upstate beginning: Quentin New York. (Yes, I thinks to himself, three just said that.) He pages in, that his â&#x20AC;&#x153;GPA spends the next is a number higher five years learning than most people even magic at this college realize it is possible for (includingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;spoiler a GPA to be.â&#x20AC;? Now, I alert!â&#x20AC;&#x201D;a stint as like books about hyperâ&#x20AC;&#x153;The Magiciansâ&#x20AC;? by Lev Grossman, a goose obviously intelligent teenagers as 402 pages evocative of Wartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much as the next girl, transformation in but when a character Whiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s "The Sword in the Stone") among thinks that is a reason why he should be a collection of characters straight out of a happy, it grates a little. bucket of high school stereotypesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;there's In an interview with Ben Beitler of the a punk, a hot chick, a weird girl and Village Voice, Lev Grossman displays his Quentin himself, who is an introspective awareness of the problems of his novel, to yet angry young man who (spoiler alert an extent. He calls many of the allusions again!) gets the girl. and analogues in "The Magicians" an While the first half of the book is basi- â&#x20AC;&#x153;anxiety of influence playâ&#x20AC;? on the moves cally the hipster Harry Potter, the second made by the authors of classic childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s half is more C.S. Lewis than J.K. Rowling. fantasy. It definitely made me a more symThe Brakebills graduates (or Quentinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pathetic reader, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually believe friends, anyway) find out that not only is that authors should be allowed to explain Fillory real (shocker!) but that one of their their novelsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;if it canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be said in the conclassmates has actually found a way to get fines of the novelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pages, then the novel there. Each of them head to this magical didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t succeed in conveying its message. world for a different reason; Quentin is "The Magicians" is one of those books searching for the happiness he feels has that you enjoy while you are reading it, been denied him his entire life and events but as soon as you put it down, you are devolve from there. left with a vague feeling of disquiet over C.S. Lewis, J.K. Rowling, T.H. White: how youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve just spent the last few hours. Nearly every fantasy childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s author of I think, to some extent, that Grossmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the past century has a reference in this novel does not succeed as an â&#x20AC;&#x153;anxiety of novel, and yet their purpose seems to be influence playâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;there is too much influto validate Grossmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s novel, rather than ence, too much anxiety, for the novel to elaborating it. Every time Fillory comes develop its own voice, and since it cannot, up, either in conversation or in Quentinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it leaves without having made an imprint. by ELLIE GOLD

Staff Reporter

Book Reviewer

At the dwindling of East to West Main Street, stashed away above Tallmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Camera Shop, there hides an art gallery. You will probably not find it, unless you already know itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s there. As I ascended the steps to the Museum of Un-Natural History, I was greeted by a leering cow skull atop a segmented mannequin, holding a parasol. Edging past this frightening doorman, I entered the museumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Black Door Gallery, home to the quirky and brash works of Gerald Matthews, artist and owner. His art seduces, provokes, repulses and sometimes angers the viewer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I was in New York, I worked in nightclubs mostly, and we did social and political satireâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;we stood up on the stage and made snide remarks about society,â&#x20AC;? said Matthews. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So when we moved here, in this very straight, rightwing community, I had to express myself. Most of the people who come up here enjoy it. Some turn right around and leave. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been almost attacked physically by a woman who insisted she knew that Jesus had come here to save us, and that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d better get with it, or I was in trouble. I said eventually, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Well if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to heaven, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to go there,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Matthews said with a laugh. Indeed, an indictment of mass religion appears in numerous of his works. By the entrance stands a vast glass case housing battling armies and the caption, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh Little Town of Bethlehem.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;It depicts the holy family in the middle of this enormous war, and every possible kind of ethnic or political type is in there fighting and killing, all around this supposedly tranquil little group thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to save us from ourselves,â&#x20AC;? explained Matthews. The museum also features many works dealing with sexuality or of a visually explicit nature. Matthews discussed his views on sexual freedom and open-mindedness. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been married five times, divorced four, and in show business one is accustomed to having quite a variety of

CORNELIUS Gerald Matthews, creator of the Museum of Un-Natural History, also operates it. Admission is free but visitors are welcome to leave donations.

sexual experience,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve always been very free about that, and an awful lot of people are not. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sorry for them, but I guess itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s better that they not reproduce any more than they need.â&#x20AC;? While Matthews refers to his art as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dada in Walla Walla,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; his style has certain differences from the historic German art movement. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I suppose, like the Dadaism that TUBSUFE JO ;VSJDI BOE NPWFE UP (FSNBny, [his art] challenges standard ideas of art and meaning,â&#x20AC;? wrote junior Nicole James in an e-mail. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was certainly anti-war, as in German art of the Dada era. However, the art, to me, looked incredibly messy and amateur. Whether this was the point or not, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know. I also think it was more sexualized than German art of the Dada era, though Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not a specialist on German Dada art.â&#x20AC;? James continued. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was very uncomfortable in the museum the whole time, and, at least to me, the museum had a very . . . confrontational and opinionated atmosphere,â&#x20AC;? she said. However, to others the gallery is a place of refuge and escape from everyday life. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have quite a few high school people in here, wearing studs and tattoos and things,â&#x20AC;? said Matthews. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They like this atmosphere, and they like the fact that I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t agree with their parents. They

think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rebellious and naughty, and they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get that at home.â&#x20AC;? Senior and art history major Stephanie Silver also finds herself attracted to the galleryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eccentric charm. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I just think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of those little niche places in Walla Walla that gives Walla Walla a lot of character,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love going there. I always find something new; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a really curious place.â&#x20AC;? Senior Lindsey Witcosky, who described herself as â&#x20AC;&#x153;obsessedâ&#x20AC;? with the museum, shared Silverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s enthusiasm. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just so random,â&#x20AC;? Witcosky said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just this guy, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free, and he just has this collection thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s open for everyone to come check out, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just really weird things that you wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see, anywhere. I like it a lot.â&#x20AC;? As admission to the museum is free, the gallery is a slow but constant drain on Matthewsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; personal resources, costing him an estimated $3,000 to $4,000 annually. However, he is retired with a pension, and does not begrudge the expense. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d really like is to win the lottery so I can buy this building and kick everybody else out,â&#x20AC;? Matthews laughed. In the meantime, visitors are welcome to leave donations. For more information and visiting hours, check out the museumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Web site at wallawalladada.com.

AND T HE WINNER S ARE . . . The Whitman Events Board is pleased to announce the winners of the 84th Annual Whitman Choral Contest! t Ä&#x2021;F )PXBSE & 1SBUU 5SPQIZ GPS CFTU NBMF (SFFL PS *OEFQFOEFOU HSPVQ XFOU UP UIF *OEFQFOEFOU .FO T $IPJS t Ä&#x2021;F (FOB #SBOTDPNCF 5SPQIZ GPS CFTU GFNBMF (SFFL PS *OEFQFOEFOU HSPVQ XFOU UP UIF *OEFQFOEFOU 8PNFO T $IPJS t Ä&#x2021;F +PTF "SJFM 3BNCBMEJ "XBSE GPS UIF CFTU B DBQQFMMB PS TQFDJBM JOUFSFTU HSPVQ XFOU UP Ä&#x2021;F 5FTUPTUFSUPOFT t 'JOBMMZ UIF 1FPQMF T $IPJDF "XBSE XFOU UP 4DIXB "MM PG UIF QSPDFFET GSPN UIF CBMMPUT GPS UIF 1FPQMF T $IPJDF "XBSE will go to Schwaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s charity of choice, Semilla Nueva. More information can be found at semillanueva.org.

A&E

MUSIC REVIEW

The Pioneer ISSUE 12 APR. 29, 2010 Page 7

VARSITY NORDIC: Partnership with Delta Gamma to provide critical support for 24-hour marathon

Clinging to a Scheme, The Radio Dept.; Labrador, 2010

New Radio Dept. album worth the long wait by ANDREW HALL Music Reviewer

The Radio Dept. certainly took their time with this one. Clinging to a Scheme, their third album released since the band’s formation in 1995, was announced almost two years ago for a fall 2008 release and then delayed every six months until this week, when it finally surfaced. Fortunately, unlike other records plagued by protracted schedules, this one’s not terrible nor rendered irrelevant by delays à la Chinese Democracy. In fact, it’s quite excellent; it’s without a doubt the band’s most accessible and immediate album, and one that perfectly captures the sensations and moods of a rained-out beach party. More than ever before, the band has songs to keep up with its textures, and unlike most worlds defined by dense guitars and deliberately broken-sounding drum machines it’s one worth revisiting. In reshaping its dream-pop, the band draws from a whole lot of recent trends in Swedish music, almost all of which benefit them. While the usual nods to 1980s British guitar pop and shoegaze (think Factory Records, think the most tolerable moments of Sarah Records, think My Bloody Valentine) are all over, there are nods to the Balearic revival and the Gothenburg bands at the forefront of it all over the place, especially on “Memory Loss” and standout “Heaven’s On Fire;” the former sports basslines indebted to Studio and the latter draws from almost every act on the often-stellar Sincerely Yours label (The Tough Alliance, jj, Air France), working house pianos, samples taken from interviews with Sonic Youth frontman Thurston Moore, orchestral hits and a pretty great chorus into three and a half minutes. The material most indebted to post-punk is rarely austere, given depth through its layered production and Johan Duncanson’s vocals, which stick to a small range and do everything they can within that space to deliver decent melodies, at least half of which stick. Duncanson is still a total sad sack, though. While there are no references to Jandek anywhere and no songs about exes’ new boyfriends and the fact that they have the worst taste in music, there’s a whole lot of melancholy and second-person pronouns, most of which don’t stand on their own. In spite of this, they never derail the atmosphere or sentiment of the music behind them, nor are they mixed so loudly as to make them more than another instrument across the record. By the time the album hits its closer, “You Stopped Making Sense,” even the simplest sentiments— and they don’t get much further than how much he wants that addressee around— seem full of purpose, and given that he gets that far, he’s clearly doing something right. Though there are hundreds of bands mining this sound or some permutation of it, the Radio Dept. never confine themselves to one specific set of ideas, and they’re better because of it. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t take them another four years to follow this one up, even if that time did yield such vast improvements.

CORNELIUS Justis Phillips ‘12 and Finn Straley ‘11 perform at a recent Varsity Nordic show. Their 24-hour marathon fundraiser, which will be held in Olin 130, will benefit Blue Mountain Heart-to-Heart. With the help of Delta Gamma, they hope to contribute a record amount.

, page 1 morning, which is just like the poop hour.” Kerr, a three-year veteran of the event, noted that performing throughout the duration of the event was tricky. “I think the key to surviving the whole 24 hours is to keep yourself well-fed and consistently- but not overly-caffeinated,” said Kerr. “It’s rarely the middle of the night that

gets you. I usually fall asleep sometime around 8 a.m. if I do fall asleep, so it’s really important to consistently caffeinate yourself, but also let your mind go ‘cause somewhere around 10 a.m. you stop making sense and all of the scenes get really, really absurdist.” Sophomore Grace Evans observed this degeneration over the course of the event when she attended last year. She stopped in at various points throughout the twenty-four hours. “By two or three in the morning—

I don’t know if they were mainlining coffee at that point—they had sort of snack pile set up in a corner of the room and some of the members had sleeping bags and were camped out napping under the stage,” said Evans. Nevertheless, according to Evans, the group remained funny—although the type of humor changed. In the beginning, the group had started out following organized, structured forms. “Five, six, seven hours later they’re not necessarily following the forms

MOVIE REVIEW

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

‘The Back-Up Plan’ falls for usual traps, lacks humor by BÉCQUER MEDAKSEGUÍN Movie Reviewer

For all of its worthwhile attempts at dealing with complex subject matter—artificial insemination, masculine inferiority complexes and female intellectual agency—it’s safe to say that Alan Poul’s “The Back-Up Plan” does much more harm than good. It would be pointless to waste ink criticizing this film for not rising to an arbitrary level of method acting or reaching a certain profundity of character development; those are givens. But, on its own romantic comedy terms, the film cannot escape the invisible vice-grip of its predecessors, routinely caricaturing its own protagonists and disingenuously treating everyone else—namely, a single mother’s group whose uncontentious goal is to empower women. Jennifer Lopez, who plays the successful, hasn’t-foundthe-one-yet pet store owner named Zoe, is the (not so) “intellectual” city girl, and Alex O’Loughlin, who plays Zoe’s farm-working McDreamy named Stan, is the (not so) terrestrial country boy. As fate—otherwise known as the film’s unimaginative and vexing script—would have it, Zoe meets Stan soon after she has been artificially inseminated by her doctor, who, of all people, enjoys the funniest scene in this lackluster movie when he calls out Stan (and all men) for treating the word “vagina” as a taboo utterance. Beyond the repetition of “vagina” at

decibel levels not fit for an indoor conversation and the random endeavors of Zoe’s dog who, because of his lame hind legs, must roll around and wreak havoc wherever she takes her, “The Back-Up Plan” doesn’t nearly provide the laughter it claims to foster. It feels a lot like one of those unmemorable and, often, insulting sitcoms that somehow manages to get enough of an audience to get renewed year after year. I wouldn’t be surprised if J. Lo takes another sabbatical to announce her comeback with yet another dull romcom.

anymore and it’s just whatever comes out of their mouths,” Evans said. “It’s sometimes funny because it’s actually funny, and sometimes funny because it’s like, ‘What are they actually talking about?’” Kerr reiterated that this year’s performance will be unique. “If there’s one year to go it’ll be this year, because there’ll be more food, drinks, prizes and ways to get involved,” said Kerr. “It’s as audienceoriented as we’ve ever been.”

16 18

17 19

20 26

28 31 34

38 43

37 39

by KARL WALLULIS Puzzlemaster

O. JOHNSON

ALDEN

ACROSS 1. Vista sites? 4. It may come before a period 7. On the double 12. Mullet relative 14. Entrenched 15. “__ of Time” (Zelda classic) 16. Francs’ replacement 17. 30-Across x 2, in English 19. Beehives and ponytails 20. Dance parties 24. Director David of “The Bridge on the River Kwai” 26. Agcy. which took over 140 banks in 2009 28. Was witness to 29. Be human? 30. When repeated, this puzzle’s theme 31. Musical genre with Jamaican roots 32. __ and abet 33. Ready to be harvested 34. Look like 35. Putrefy 37. Ryu’s “Street Fighter” friend 38. State of 30-Across x 2 43. Allow in 46. Foolhardy 47. “__ for the sky!” 48. Mafia-busting law 49. They may be weak 50. Disdainful sound 51. Guitarist Paul

DOWN 1. Coronation site 2. Poo poo 3. Guiding principles 4. Joins (with) 5. iPod variety 6. Balkan neighbor 7. “Fuck yeah” preceder, in song 8. Pope who published the first Code of Canon Law 9. Pirate’s cry 10. Top banana 11. Mag. top bananas 13. Wear before buying 18. Actor Hirsch of “Into the Wild” 21. Absolutely necessary 22. Do some fall yard work 23. Went for a dip 24. Chrysalis’s home 25. Famous canal 26. Farmers’ Market et al. 27. Video projector technology 30. Christmas ornaments 34. The “S” in D.S. al Capo” 36. “…they named it ___” 37. New York cager 39. Poet Crane 40. Osiris’s sister/wife 41. One less than 36-Down 42. New Jersey cagers 43. Biblical asylum 44. Bear’s home 45. Actress West

To see answers to last week’s puzzle, see whitmanpioneer.com

The Pioneer ISSUE 12 APR. 29, 2010 Page 8

“Lost” iPhone illustrates importance of tech ethics It’s the biggest scoop in tech journalism history: The gadget blog Gizmodo managed to get its hands on a prototype version of Apple’s new iPhone. The way BLAIR FRANK they went about Columnist getting it, however, raises questions about how tech journalists should handle the ethics of getting scoops. Some history: An Apple engineer (who, for the purposes of this column, shall remain nameless) went to a bar one evening, and according to the person who acquired the phone, said engineer left the phone at the bar, which the finder proceeded to pick up and take with him. As Gizmodo puts it, the person who found the iPhone opened the Facebook app and discovered the identity of the Apple engineer. Gizmodo managed to acquire the engineer’s phone number and e-mail address, but for some reason, the person who found the phone never contacted the engineer directly. In the meantime, the Apple engineer was frantically calling the bar, in an attempt to get his (well, Apple’s) phone back. Since the source didn’t care to turn the prototype in to the police, or drive over to Apple headquarters, he decided to shop the phone to at least two tech publications, Gizmodo and its rival Engadget. Gizmodo paid the $5,000 price tag and set about dissecting its new toy. While Gizmodo was busy taking things apart and putting them back together, Engadget published some blurry photos of the phone from the finder. Shortly thereafter, Gizmodo editor Jason Chen posted a video and photos of the device, followed by an article outing the engineer who lost the phone, and finally an article about Ap-

ple’s response and the return of the phone to its actual owner. Why is this so important? Because everything Gizmodo has done has consequences, even if it doesn’t like to think about them. Nick Denton, CEO of Gawker Media (Gizmodo’s parent company) said in an interview with the “Village Voice”: “If you think too much about the consequences, you just become part of the system.” Unfortunately, for those of us like me, who are looking to get into “the system,” Gizmodo is doing more harm than good. Take for example the blatant flaunting of the identity of the Apple engineer who lost the phone. “I find what Gizmodo did distasteful, just as I find most tabloid reporting about celebrities or reality TV stars distasteful,” said Jason Snell, editorial director of “Macworld.” When I asked Jesus Diaz of Gizmodo about its reasoning in revealing the identity of the engineer, he said “The story would have never been believable with just ‘an Apple guy lost it in a bar.’ The name, the fact that it is a real human being, is what makes the story credible.” Well, that is, until Apple asked for it back. That’s pretty definitive proof right there. But of course, every story gets better when you drag someone through the muck. The bottom line is Gizmodo overstepped its bounds in proving the story’s authenticity, and the guy who lost the phone paid dearly for it. The second problem I have with Gizmodo’s coverage: its unwillingness to acknowledge any wrongdoing by their source. Granted, it makes sense that it wouldn’t acknowledge the legal questionability of how it acquired the phone, but at the same time, from its own reporting, it would seem that there were several problems with how the person who found the prototype handled himself. First and fore-

Opinion

SLOANE most, he knew whose phone it was, according to Gizmodo, so it seems odd that he wouldn’t try to return it to its owner, but instead sell it. To me, the whole story seems off, but of course nobody is able to do anything about it due to the source’s and Gizmodo’s secrecy. Finally, there’s the issue of legality. While I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on television, the penal code seems pretty open-and-shut about lost property. If it is worth over $400, and the finder can’t get in touch with the actual owner, then it is his or her duty to turn it in to

the police. In this case, the finder sold it to Gizmodo instead. I don’t see how that is okay in the slightest. In order to justify it, some people are comparing the sale of the iPhone to Deep Throat on Watergate, or Daniel Ellsberg leaking the Pentagon Papers to the New York Times. I asked Sree Sreenivasan, a professor and dean of student affairs at the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism what he thought about the comparison. “With Watergate, you had someone acting out of his own conscience, not asking for money. So really, there’s no com-

parison.” I agree with his assessment. To say that there’s any sort of comparison between selling a stolen product for no real reason versus giving away evidence of government wrongdoing for the public good is ludicrious, in my mind. Gizmodo’s conduct has been inexcusable. There’s no doubt about that. Did it give the people what they wanted? Absolutely. But people also want reality television and TMZ. Does that mean the other two are journalistic endeavors? I don’t think so.

Caring for others not Earth Day 40: Climate change looms large about our self-interest Often we are told to advocate for the disadvantaged by appealing to society’s self-interest instead of compassion. If you raise the standards of living for select communities, you will raise the standard of living for everyone. As an ardent supporter of increasHEATHER ing public spendNICHOLSHAINING ing to pull more people out of Columnist poverty, I believe this rhetoric as much as anyone. While I was being trained to talk about my research concerning poverty in Washington State, I was taught that one of the best ways to frame my argument is by emphasizing how changes that affect people living in poverty affect the whole community. For example, by lowering poverty rates in Walla Walla, we can also decrease crime, raise the education bar for everyone, raise housing property values and accomplish a whole range of other positive benefits for the community.

People should care about people because we as a society are responsible for each other, because sometimes bad things happen to good people. While I really do believe this rhetoric and think its important to emphasize that people within communities benefit financially from watching out for each other, there is something missing. It is almost taboo to say that we should care about people living in poverty because they are our friends, family members, neighbors, fellow Americans, fellow human beings, but these are the kind of conversations we need to be having. We have moved forward together as a society, and it is as a society that we must care for each other. Of course there is room for personal choices and personal mistakes, and of course some people are poor because

they made poor decisions, and there are many people who overcome poverty despite structural barriers. But a large amount of people are poor because society is not set up for everyone to succeed. School systems are often inadequate, prisons are over-crowded, children who grow up in poverty are significantly more likely to be poor as adults than children who grow up in wealthier families. It’s not a coincidence that the people who are the poorest in our society are women, children and racial and ethnic minorities. Our society is set up to financially benefit white males – almost all the richest men in the world are male. All this means is that society as a whole is failing certain people. If our social institutions are not designed to benefit everyone in our society, then we as individuals and as communities have a responsibility to the people who we have failed. Caring about people can concretely help the whole community. There are real financial gains to be made from raising the standard of living in an entire community. But it is not good enough to focus on this as the main reason why people should care about other people. People should care about people because we have the capacity to empathize, because we as a society are responsible for each other, because sometimes bad things happen to good people. Policy changes should be considered not by how they will affect us individually, but how they will affect our neighbors. Advocates for social change should not have to frame in their arguments in how the community will benefit from raising the standard of living for the poorest. The simple fact of helping people out of tough times should be an adequate enough reason to support positive change. Call it an American value, call it God’s will, call it human nature if you want – you’ll be hard pressed to find a set of morals that does not prioritize caring for others.

Got something to say? The Pioneer wants to hear your thoughts. Comment on this and other articles on our Web site, whitmanpioneer.com

Forty years ago, Americans celebrated the first Earth Day. Last week, in much quieter fashion, we celebrated Earth Day 40. In the past 20 years, JAMES SLEDD climate change has Columnist emerged as the greatest threat to our environment, yet we have made distressingly little progress towards addressing it. Much has changed since the first Earth Day in 1970. Congress has passed landmark environmental laws such as the Clean Air Act and the Endangered Species Act. We have banned leaded gasoline, added and then removed the bald eagle from the Endangered Species List and cleaned up dozens of Superfund sites. But the specter of climate change loomed over Earth Day 40 like a dark pall of smoke. Climate change threatens to wreak environmental havoc on a larger scale than ever imagined. The changing climate will affect nearly every ecosystem on Earth, and many species will face extinction. Millions of people will confront

diminishing supplies of food and drinking water, while rising sea levels may inundate entire cities. Despite such an urgent threat, the United States has not taken significant action to reduce emissions of greenhouse gasses such as carbon dioxide. Unlike the environmental crises of the 1960s and ‘70s, climate change is often invisible to the naked or untrained eye. Environmental disasters like the Cuyahoga River fire in 1969 and the Santa Barbara Oil Spill the same year are painfully obvious to even the most skeptical onlookers. Rivers are not supposed to burn, and dolphins are not meant to choke to death on crude oil. The effects of climate change, on the other hand, are more widespread but far less obvious and more difficult to like to a specific cause. Although warming ocean temperatures are likely to cause stronger and more frequent tropical storms, it is impossible to prove that climate change strengthened a specific storm—like Hurricane Katrina. Furthermore, dire predictions about climate change are derived in part from long-term computer models. It’s much harder to convince people to take action when the evidence exists inside a computer, rather than in a poisoned river. Mitigating the effects of climate change

also demands fundamental changes to how our modern economies function. Oil spills can be prevented easily if companies drill for and transport oil responsibly. Similarly, DDT (which nearly destroyed the bald eagle), ozone-depleting CFCs and leaded gasoline all had readily available replacements. Simply put, our economy functions on carbon-emitting fossil fuels; to address climate change, we need to change this basic fact. But despite the claims of climate skeptics, doing so does not mean foregoing our standard of living. Investing in efficient “smart” electrical grids, renewable energy research and installation and improving energy efficiency in homes and businesses can provide countless well-paying jobs that will help reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Responding to climate change is not necessarily about sacrifice on a grand scale; rather, it presents an opportunity to reinvent and improve our economy. The stock market has skyrocketed, but unemployment remains near 10 percent. Our economy languishes in what some worry might be a “jobless recovery” from the deepest recession in 80 years. There’s no better time to create a green economy that provides well-paying, safe and sustainable jobs than now.

Hip-hop loses touch with original art form Burr! That is how Gucci Mane announces himself, with that inane tagline that he has embraced, much in the same way that other hiphop artists have JOEY KERN resorted to yelling Columnist their own names. Cleverly, Gucci’s line indicates that he is “so icy,” aka he has blown a few hundred grand on jewelry so heavy that it will inevitably give him back problems. Gucci Mane is a lyrical screw-up in the worst way. Listening to one of his songs, while enjoyable in a humorous, ironic or belligerently drunk sense, is agony if one takes the care to listen to anything the man is saying. This is a conspicuously relevant commentary on the nature of mainstream hiphop itself nowadays. Lyrical relevance, the kind of poetry and social commentary that used to define what it was to be a respected hip-hop artist, has been replaced with hooks and production value. The catchy

has come to outweigh the meaningful. The result of this has been a culture of popular music no longer concerned with quality or depth but one instead concerned with quantity and catchiness. This is evident when considering that people like Lil Wayne can be in prison for a few months and manage to release a full-length mix tape, or the fact that he also manages to produce hip-hop sings, which were once largely lyrical endeavors, without ever writing anything down. Perhaps the least fortunate aspect of this trend is that I myself, knowing that many of the songs I’m listening to are the inane chants of a millionaire without a high school education, continue to listen. This is because I, like countless others, have fallen into the mindset that, regardless of whether a song is truly “good,” if it’s catchy and has lyrics bad enough to be considered funny then I will listen to it. This is fine to a point, but it fosters neglect in artists that are truly that, artists. Underground hip-hop has managed to maintain what I will call lyrical integrity and there have been artists tagged as “underground” that have broken into the mainstream conscious, such as Blue Schol-

ars and Common Market. But, again, these artists’ success has been regionally limited and, outside the northwest, they still don’t receive the kind of recognition they deserve. These kinds of artists, following in the tradition of hip-hop legends like Mos Def, have maintained that element of the poetic in hip-hop. This is perhaps the most unfortunate aspect of the genesis of what has become mainstream hip-hop. There was once a kind of universal notion of what hip-hop was; it was a kind of poetic insight into social issues that took the form of music. In short, it was an art form. Now however, that form has debased itself in such a way that it glorifies the things it used to critique and has lost that element of sophistication, or, at least, that raw level of emotional connection that manifested itself in lyrics, in poetry. The kind of things the Wu-Tang clan once lamented are now glorified by people like Gucci Mane, and the kind of bitter, brutal realities that we were able to see in those lyrics have given way to a glitzy façade. All of this is a bastardization of what hip-hop can be, and all of this is announced with a strident BURR!

OPINION

April 29, 2010

Seriously, your green dot matters Whitties: Localism is a Date rape, or any other kind of interpersonal violence, is an uncomfortable subject. Most of us probably remember with varying degrees of clarity some kind AMI TIAN of orientation reColumnist garding the subject, learning statistics like the following: “One of out of every four women has survived rape or attempted rape.” And if you’re currently a first-year or a transfer, you probably remember the “green dot” lecture from the beginning of the year: Good behavior, or actions that contribute to the safety of the campus, are green dots. Bad behavior, or actions that detract from the safety of the campus, are red dots. This is the first year that the green dot campaign has been instituted at Whitman. Even if you didn’t receive the green dot lecture, you’ve probably seen fliers around campus, saying things like, “Your green dot matters!” and “What’s your green dot?” One thing that can be said for sure about the green dot campaign is that it’s very visible. Whether it’s effective or not is another matter. For many of the people I talked to, the green dot campaign is viewed as

sort of a joke. For Halloween, some firstyears dressed up as red dots and green dots. When someone does something someone else disapproves of, they might say, “That’s a red dot right there.” But although it may seem like it’s not taken seriously, the fact that the green dot campaign has become something of a joke does have its advantages. It’s talked about. And as much as we joke, it’s always with the acknowledgment of a truth behind it. It’s more like a half-joke. The names “red dot” and “green dot” might be silly, but they represent very real attitudes. One first-year I talked to said that it helps to have a name for these types of behavior, to classify it, which makes it easier to talk about. However, another first-year from my dorm argued that he felt the campaign wasn’t effective in convincing people to change their behavior. His argument was that people will do right or wrong regardless, and that a campaign can’t teach morality. He had a point. But while the green dot campaign might not be able to stop someone from doing something, it encourages intervention on the part of others. A green dot is not just the act of not harming someone, it’s preventing someone else from being harmed. For example, one friend said, “If you know that your buddy is go-

ing to try to get a girl really drunk so he can hook up with her, you could try to stop him from doing that, and that would be a green dot.” He said that the green dot campaign was at least helpful in contributing to a perhaps underemphasized pressure to ask for consent, making a certain type of mentality more present and at least offering a counterpoint (however convincingly) to the dominant hook-up culture. He preferred it to the old system, which he described as much more grim and aggressive. “They would separate the boys and the girls and tell the boys, ‘You’re probably going to try to rape someone,’ and the girls, ‘One of your guy friends is probably going to try to rape you,’” he said. What I appreciate about the green dot campaign is that it’s a way of visualizing one’s influence on one’s community, making abstract concepts concrete. I remember seeing a map in Reid of the campus covered with green dots. Bear with me for a second and imagine that every good deed you do is physically visible, permanent. Your green dots do matter; your actions and decisions do influence the people around you. However, I will admit that some of the advertising techniques are questionable. “I think that ‘Get your daily dose of green dot’ poster encourages us to take drugs,” said one friend who sounded extremely concerned. “I wasn’t going to, but if Barbara Maxwell says to . . . she’s the boss.”

SONG

basic conservative value I’ve always been somewhat bemused but inspired by the strong commitment to localism that flourishes on the Whitman campus. I am bemused ALEX POTTER because Whitties Opinion Editor lead lives that are generally culturally and economically cosmopolitan. We are primarily West Coast liberals, after all. But localism was conservatism’s first. Whitties think nothing of flying across the world for an environmental conference or hauling water purifiers to India, but somehow still demand that Bon Appétit stop selling carbon-positive bananas shipped from Ecuador. Whitties are often found advocating for agricultural, environmental and economic localism, but take full advantage of the global economy in their career prospects, global travel in their leisure and studies and even globalism as a basic moral orientation (not the nation, church, city or family). Yet, as soon as it comes to enforcing the will of the community upon the individual in the moral realm, Whitties become fierce individualists. They perceive that local food affects the community, but cannot understand that community itself is premised upon a shared moral vision of the good life, not mere economic interactions. Society is a spiritual, not merely economic, order. At dinner before his lecture on climate change just last week, libertarian speaker Ronald Bailey challenged the table to answer why liberals thought it was OK to limit economic liberty to protect local farms, for example, but not to limit personal liberty in support of local moral norms like banning gay marriage. The libertarian argues that both economic and moral regulation is improper and I argue that both are wholly justified. At least we are both consistent. Of course, localism has always been a conservative bastion before this liberal schizophrenia. The institutions of family, church, community and region form the basic conservative vision of social order. Robert Nisbet argues that these social institutions are necessary foundations of liberty for they mediate between the individual and the government, between isolating atomism and coercive collec-

tivism. Radical individualism is not the antithesis of totalitarianism, but its prerequisite. Stripped of all intermediate institutions, the lonely power of individual conscience is pitted against the total power of the state, and the winner is all but certain in that contest. The Catholic Church’s teaching of “subsidiarity” has held for over a century that “a community of a higher order should not interfere in the internal life of a community of a lower order, depriving the latter of its functions, but rather should support it in case of need and help coordinate its activities with the activities of the rest of society” (Catechism of the Catholic Church). America has been all too willing to offer up decisions about our families, our morality, our local communities and economies to powers far detached from us.

I am bemused because Whitties lead lives that are generally culturally and economically cosmopolitan.

Just look at the banking system. The Huffingon Post reports that, “The largest 20 banks, which now command 57 percent of all bank assets, devote only 18 percent of their commercial loan portfolios to small business.” Yet it is these banks Obama spent trillions to bailout while small businesses can’t even get loans. What liberals don’t realize is that big government and big business are best friends. Only by localizing both the government and the economy can we maintain control of both. Conservatives also need to realize it isn’t the corporate dominated “free market” that is the answer, but the localized market. Burke said that only by loving the “little platoon” we belong to in our society can we begin to feel affection for broader society. Conservatism in the United States must recommit itself to protecting these little platoons against all enemies, private or governmental. But liberals (and Whitties) must also realize that communities are foundationally moral and cultural enterprises and must be regulated accordingly, or all the local food movements in the world won’t amount to anything.

Not even Whitman immune from “Party Mentality” I live in Jewett. My room directly faces the TKE house and all of frat row. Yet the frequent nighttime screaming, laughing and stumbling, which bothered me at WILLIAM WITWER first, don’t worry Columnist me as they once did. Whitman does a great job of encouraging responsible drinking—there is no fear of asking an authority figure for help if help is needed, people look out for each other and set limits, yada yada yada. It has gotten to the point that I now see the consumption of alcohol that I indulge in as a (mostly) wholesome experience, something that brings friends together to harmlessly release their inhibitions. That being said, though, even here at Whitman there exists a small sub-culture of heavy drinking that I would label the Party Mentality. This is the idea that altered states of consciousness are the ulti-

mate form of fun and entertainment and that nothing else can compare to them. These are the people who spend most of their time either talking about times they were very drunk, or getting very drunk so they can talk about it later. Even as I say this, I feel compelled to defend our school. Most of the people I have met here are not that person, not even close. Most of the people I have met here don’t let alcohol become the focal point of their lives. Compared to our peers at larger state schools, this is barely even a problem. But just because not everyone here embodies every aspect of the Party Mentality does not dismiss its hanging specter from our heads. Though no one would articulate this argument out loud, many parts of our age group seem to believe, implicitly, that being drunk is a lot more fun than being sober. When people, myself included, talk about drunken incidents afterwards, we seem to put more value on them than on less “exciting” tee totaling ones (at least, this is my experience).

the Pioneer EDITORIAL

PRODUCTION

Editor-in-Chief Molly Smith

Production Manager Ben Lerchin

Managing Editor Margaux Cameron

Production Associates Sally Boggan, Alyssa Fairbanks, Miriam Kolker, Sky MacFadyen, Hadley Mowe, Quinn Taylor

News Editor Jocelyn Richard Associate News Editor Josh Goodman

Copy Editors Cara Lowry, Sara Rasmussen

A&E Editor Connor Guy

PHOTOGR APHY

Feature Editor Rebecca Bright

Senior Photographer Linnea Bullion

Opinion Editor Alex Potter Sports Editors Max Rausch and Dujie Tahat Humor Editor Alex Kerr Associate Humor Editors Simi Singh and Finn Straley Photography Editor Simon Van Neste Illustration Editor Patricia Vanderbilt

Photographers Julia Bowman, Emily Cornelius, Brandon Fennell, David Jacobson, Marie von Hafften

ILLUSTR ATION Sam Alden, Kelly Douglas, Emily Johnson, Olivia Johnson, Binta LoosDiallo, Carrie Sloane, Jung Song, Kiley Wolff

The thing is, though, drinking is fun. There’s a reason that people have been doing this for thousands of years. But what makes us think that for some reason it is the best or only kind of entertainment available? The Party Mentality abides, at least in some form, throughout every myth of what the college experience is supposed to be. To quote the footnote of a David Foster Wallace essay, “You think it’s a coincidence that it’s in college that most Americans do their most serious falling-down drinking and drugging and reckless driving and rampant fucking and mindless general Dionysian-type reveling? It’s not. They’re adolescents, and they’re terrified, and they’re dealing with their terror in a distinctively American way.” He basically claims that our Party Mentalities stem from a subconscious fear of the horribleness of the real world, that we go absolutely crazy in order to reassure ourselves. This theory is almost too complicated, but I agree with him. Of course, David Foster Wallace is referring to the more typical, more crazy

college life that we have, albeit in a miniature and more responsible form. But we are just as terrified as those adolescents. And so we overemphasize the fun of drinking, implicitly, without thinking that the things we remember most will not be the times spent on a beer-encrust-

ed frat house floor or at a poppin’ house party, but the relationships we make with people, the sober fun we have. I simply have a wish—albeit one that won’t come true—that we would stop caring so much about altering our states of consciousness.

POLI T IC AL C ARTOON

DOUGLAS

EDITORIAL POLICY

whitman news, delivered. WRITING NEWS Rachel Alexander, Scott Cassidy, Jeremy Guggenheim, Nate Lessler, Lea Negrin, Joe Volpert

A&E Ellie Gold, Andrew Hall, Caitlin Hardee, Bécquer Medak-Seguín, Liz Sieng, Christine Texeira, Ami Tian, Karl Wallulis

OPINION Russ Caditz-Peck, Lisa Curtis, Blair Frank, Gillian Frew, Joey Kern, Heather Nichols-Haining, James Sledd, Gary Wang, Will Witwer

FE ATURE

BUSINESS Publisher Derek Thurber Directors of Public Relations Connor Guy, Sara Rasmussen Circulation Associates Lilly Dethier, Linnea Rudeen Webmaster Rebecca Fish

ADVERTISING Advertising Manager Matt Solomon

SPORTS

Advertising Associates Dana Fong, Jeffry Hopfenbeck, Eric Molnar, Anna Taylor, Shellin Tran

Bailey Arango, Allan Crum, Lindsay Fairchild, Melissa Navarro

Advertising Designer Nadeem Kassam

Grant Bradley, Amy Chapman, Hadley Jolley, Becky Nevin, Jenny Willis

HUMOR Emily Basham, Galen Cobb, Nadim Damluji, Helen Jenne

The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, the Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

SUBMISSION POLICY

Letters to Editor may be submitted to The Pioneer via e-mail at editors@whitmanpioneer.com or sent to The Pioneer, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA, 99362. All submissions must be received by 4 p.m. on Saturday prior to the week that they are intended to appear. All submissions must be attributed and may be edited for concision and fluency.

CODE OF ETHICS

The code of ethics serves as The Pioneer’s established guidelines for the practice of responsible journalism on campus, within reasonable interpretation of the editorial board. These guidelines are subject to constant review and amendment; responsibility for amending the code of ethics is assigned to the Editor-in-Chief and Publisher in conjunction with the editorial board. The code of ethics is reviewed at least once per semester. To access the complete code of ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about. For information about advertising in The Pioneer or to purchase a subscription, contact business@whitmanpioneer.com.

Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 12 APR. 29, 2010 Page 10

Indie flag football takes the field by DUJIE TAHAT Sports Editor

This past weekend, Whitman saw the first leg of the first-ever women’s Intramural Flag Football Spring Invitational. The invitational is of a roundrobin format consisting of five teams: F-yeah, Multiple Scorgasms, Switchblades, Top Lovin’ and the regularseason champion, Munchers. The first weekend of action saw plenty of ups and downs. The invitational kicked off last Friday, April 23, at Martin Field with a match-up that pinned Multiple Scorgasms against Switchblades; the senior cast of MS held on to win 14-12. On Saturday, April 24, the Switchblades rebounded, smacking the reigning champion Munchers 27-6. The ’Blades kept it rolling, having their way with Top Lovin’ to the tune of 33-0 in game two of the Sunday, April 25, double-header. The Munchers returned to form in the first game of the double header, as they handily dispatched Multiple Scorgasms 2613. The inception of the invitational was brought on by senior Lewis Silver. As coach of Top Lovin’—and as someone entrenched in the culture of Whitman women’s IM flag football as humanly possible for someone of his gender—Silver’s idea for a spring invitational sprang from two problems he saw. First was the seeming disparity between the Greek-organized and con-

versely “indie” teams. A crucial part of every year’s Greekend, the flag football tournament got teams out and practicing in the spring when they otherwise wouldn’t be. “[Sorority-organized teams] get to have a spring round robin and a chance to practice,” Silver said. “The main goal was, I wanted to create a similar system for indie teams.” Secondly, Silver hoped that by putting established senior teams FYeah and Multiple Scorgasms with the younger squads, the tournament would provide more experience and an opportunity to learn. “I wanted teams with fourth-year seniors that have played the right way, with a fun attitude,” said Silver. “F-Yeah and Multiple Scorgasms are prime examples of that, I wanted to give them a last hoorah.” Both F-Yeah and Multiple Scorgasms have been together since the 2006 IM flag football season and trace their roots to Anderson; F-Yeah from F- and A-sections and Multiple Scorgasms from E-section. With the invitational partially completed, Silver has overseen logistics that normally take an IM committee to execute. Each team must provide referees for two other games. However, this first-ever invitational has seen such huge support that most of the officiating is done through selfregulation. Silver was quick to point out that his job was much easier than the IM

The Whitman men faced Menlo College in Atherton, Calif. last weekend for a four game non-conference series. After two losses on Saturday and another on Sunday, the Missionaries ended the trip with their fifth victory of the season, blasting the Oaks for a 15-7 win. In the lone victory of the weekend, junior Erik Korsmo had four hits out of five at-bats and was also responsible for a lead-off home run in a second inning that saw five more runs from an unstoppable Whitman offense. Singles by seniors Blaine Mercado, Jason Sease and first-year Justin Weeks in addition to senior Mitch Hannoosh’s two-run double put the Missionaries in an unreachable lead. Junior Jay Richards’ double advanced junior Patrick Stauffer to third, while sophomore Eric Tolleson’s popped up a sacrifice fly to cap the scoring in the top of the second inning. The Missionaries managed to bat their entire line-up, as Korsmo ended things with a ground out to third. Mercado also had a fantastic game. He proved himself on the mound, pitching yet another full game, allowing four earned runs with four strikeouts. While at the plate, he scored two runs on four hits. With 23 total hits for Whitman in their win last Sunday, the Missionaries will finish the remainder of the season with some momentum. As the end of this season draws to a close, the transitional year that welcomed a new head coach, a new assistant coach and six first-years on the roster has shown the potential for growth for Whitman baseball. Coach Jared Holowaty reflected on his first season at Whitman, talking about how much of a roller coaster it has been in terms of wins and losses. “We saw a lot of success early on, but after a deceiving period of several losses in a row over the course of a few weeks it was definitely a challenge to get back up,” said Holowaty. After the win against Menlo, the team

committee. With five teams participating, Silver only had to schedule 10 games. “Organizing teams and figuring out a schedule was simpler than I expected,” said Silver. “The only difficult time I had was getting field space.” Unable to contact the groundskeepers to utilize Harper Joy or Ankeny, Silver resorted to Martin Field as the site of this year’s tournament. F-Yeah will play two games this

weekend on the soccer fields. Due to scheduling conflicts, they were unable to play this past weekend, and will commence this weekend’s action on Thursday, April 29, at 4:30 p.m. in a match-up with fellow senior team, Multiple Scorgasms. The same time on Friday, April 30, F-Yeah take on Silver’s Top Lovin’. This weekend boasts plenty of action and story lines, with two scheduled double-headers. On Saturday,

May 1, game one features a rematch of the title game, F-Yeah versus the rolling Munchers at 11:30 a.m., while the 1:30 p.m. game pits Multiple Scorgasms against Top Lovin’. On Sunday, May 2, Top Lovin’ returns for a 1:30 p.m. face off against the Munchers. Afterwards, F-Yeah will complete their fourth game in as many days at 3 p.m. as they take on a dangerous Switchblade team to close out the round robin.

The men’s and women’s golf teams completed their best seasons in recent memory. Both teams are hopeful for next season as they will retain the core of their rosters. by LINDSEY FAIRCHILD Staff Reporter

BOWMAN

Baseball closes series with win Staff Reporter

Haverty Brown ‘13 of the undefeated Switchblades breaks away from a pack of the reigning regular-season intramural champion Munchers during a 27-6 Swithchblades victory. The ‘Blades kept it rolling Sunday with a 33-0 rout of Top Lovin’.

Golf teams finish 5th in NWC Championships

Infielder Jay Stauffer ‘11 tags out a runner attempting to steal second base.

by MELISSA NAVARRO

BOWMAN

showed similar signs as after their first victory of the season, in which they beat the University of Puget Sound after a string of close losses. “These guys have made me a better coach. I’ve really enjoyed watching these guys improve every day, regardless of wins and losses,” said Holowaty. Despite Whitman being last in Northwest Conference standings, Holowaty sees great strength in what has been a small roster of thirteen men who have pushed their skills over the course of the season. “I’ve seen amazing improvements . . . with [Richards] as short stop this year,” said Holowaty, who also pointed to notable transformations he’s seen in the seniors— who are playing their last season of college baseball. In addition to Hannoosh, Mercado and Sease, the team will part with seniors Joe Rodhouse and Brian Kitamura—all of whom were honored at the last home game at Borleske Stadium on April 18. As seniors comprise half the team, graduation marks a sad day for Whitman Baseball. However, due to Holowaty’s experience with his last job as recruitment coordinator at the University of Maine, their roster will continue to grow to a healthier number. With the fast-approaching May 1 recruiting deadline coming up, Holowaty already has 14 commitments made by new recruits that will be joining the team next season. “With the way [Holowaty] demands perfection on the field, I imagine that he will be able to mold that class into something special. In the coming years I expect to see Whitman baseball make giant strides toward the top of the league,” said Sease of the large class of new recruits. For the team to build on the momentum it gained—in what has been a rebuilding year for the program—Holowaty stresses to his players the importance of continuing to playing summer ball in preparation of coming for the upcoming season. Whitman will close out the regular season this weekend as they face Whitworth University in Spokane, Wash.

This past weekend, both Whitman golf teams finished off their season by placing fifth in the Northwest Conference Championship tournament at Heron Lakes Golf Course in Portland, Ore. The fifth place finish was the best showing either team has had in recent memory. The Missionary women started off strong on Saturday, April 24, ending the day in fourth place. The Missionaries’ triumvirate of first-year players led the way on Saturday, as they have all season. Tate Head led her fellow firstyear players Saturday with a score of 81, finishing the day one stroke off the lead. First-year Caitlin Holland posted a score of 86, while first-year Sydney Conway shot an 89. Sophomore Portland native Allie Lodine shot 98, playing in her hometown. They ended up placed fourth at the end of Saturday. “We were very pleased with our performance,” said Skip Molitor, women’s head coach. “The 344 we shot as a team on day one was our best round of the season.” On Sunday, April 25, Whitman fired a 349, their third best round of the season, but fell to fifth place as the University of Puget Sound Loggers leapfrogged them on the scoreboard thanks to a 17-stroke improvement on their first round score. The second day was not kind to Head as she fell from second to a tie for 11th after posting an 87. However, Head’s teammates picked up her slack on Sunday. Both Holland and Lodine dropped four shots off their first round scores, firing 82 and 94 respectively. Conway also improved her score from day one posting an 86. Molitor had nothing but praise for his teams showing at the NWC Championships. “To have two of our best three rounds of the year at the most important event of the year speaks very highly of our players and their ability to play their best at the most important time.” Molitor said. “It was a significant accomplishment to maintain our lead over Pacific University in the league standings.” The Missionary women posted a team score of 693 for the weekend, placing them five points ahead of the Boxers in the Northwest Conference standings which are based on each team’s finish in the fall. “There is a definite upswing in the women’s golf program. We are only

VON HAFFTEN Drew Raher ‘13 practices his bunker game in preparation for the Northwest Conference Championships. Raher finished 41st overall with a score of 178, 27 strokes off of the lead. The Missionaries finished in fifth place overall.

losing two players and gaining three new recruits, and since the majority of the team is still young, the future looks promising,” said Conway. Men’s golf also performed the best they had in years at the conference tournament placing fifth, holding the spot after coming into the tournament in a three-way tie for the spot. Playing without their best player, junior Brian Barton, who is abroad in Scotland, senior Steve Campbell stepped up to the challenge in Portland firing a final day 75 for a two round total of 156, good enough for a eighth-place finish. Sophomore John Abercrombie fired a 79 and first-year Geoff Burks shot an 81, fellow firstyear Peter Clark shot an 86 to round out the team scoring on Sunday. Sophomore David DeVine (91) and firstyear Drew Raher (96) also played for Whitman. The men’s scores were much higher

than during the Fall Classic, also at Heron Lakes Golf Course, due to an altered course set up. “The course was played differently than it had been in the fall,” Burks said. “They added a lot more yardage on every hole, making the course more difficult than it had previously been.” Whitman finished just one shot ahead of Pacific Lutheran and seven shots ahead of George Fox to clinch fifth place after all three schools were were tied for fifth entering the NWC Championships. Men’s Head Coach Peter McClure was pleased with his teams season. “This was a really good year for the men’s golf team,” said McClure. “All year, our boys never gave up, they tried their best on every shot, but more importantly they supported each other.” Both of the golf teams show promise for the future with a good finish of this season.

SPORTS

April 29. 2010

ONION CRANK: New climbing wall showcased  page 1 tutorials, free-climbs, raffles and bouldering competitions. The festivities kicked off Friday, April 23, with a special screening of “CORE”, a newlyreleased film about climbing, and culminated in an award ceremony crowning not only the winners of Saturday’s climbing competitions, but also the winners of the Climbing Center Film Contest. One of the most remarkable facets of the Sweet Onion Crank is that it is and always has been a primarily student organized event. This year’s Sweet Onion Crank is largely the brainchild of sophomore Maggie Massey. Massey says the addition of the new climbing wall and the publicity it’s received enabled her to shake things up this year. “I changed it a little this year because I wanted it to be more welcoming and not intimidate people, since its the first year at the new wall, so we had clinics in the morning to help people learn different skills,” Massey said. Outdoor Program director Brien Sheedy, who took his current post in 2001 and was instrumental in the construction of Whitman’s new climbing wall, reiterated Massey’s emphasis on inclusiveness. “We’re really trying to dispel the myth that the Sweet Onion Crank is a competition,” Sheedy said. “The bouldering competition is just a small part of it. The Sweet Onion Crank is a festival, with tons of opportunities for climbers of all experience levels.” While Sheedy is impressed with the number of Whitman students who

Above: Nat Clarke ‘11 ponders his next move during a climb at Whitman’s 18th Annual Sweet Onion Crank last Saturday. Right: Charlotte Hill ‘13 reaches for a hold on Sherwood’s indoor climbing wall.

have used the climbing wall this year, he hopes to see even more students climbing in the weeks to come. “By my last count, we’ve had about 40 percent of the Whitman student body climb this year. I’d love to see that number hit 50 percent by the end of the year.” Sheedy also hopes that the Sweet Onion Crank and events like it can dispel misconceptions regarding the difficulty of climbing certification or the expense of equipment rental. “People think getting certified to climb is some long process—after a quick run-through of how the wall works and a brief training video, we can have you ready to climb in 10

PHOTOS BY FENNELL minutes. The only expense is three dollars for renting climbing shoes, and if you’re really strapped for cash, you can go bouldering in your street shoes.” While there was a palpable air of excitement around the throngs of Whitman students both participating in and watching the Crank festivities, the Walla Walla community, an annual fixture at the event, was conspicuously absent, a fact Massey hopes to see remedied in the years to come. “It was all Whitman students this year because of liability. In the past it’s always been open to the public and other colleges and universities and people in the community, but this

Durantula spins his web, shuts down Black Mamba Way back late last October, as the 2009-2010 NBA season began, I went out on a limb and published my pre-season list of players that I thought would vie ALLAN CRUM for the MVP troStaff Reporter phy. I actually did fairly well with my predictions, except for putting Chris Paul at number two (to be fair, his preinjury stats were mind-blowing). It was made up mostly of the usual suspects— Kobe, D-Wade, Lebron—but I took one huge chance and included a third-year player who plays for a new franchise that only won 23 games in its inaugural season: Kevin Durant. Now, in a “Best Player” contest that wouldn’t be much of a gamble. Durant is one of the most talented individuals in the NBA. He has the skills of a talented shooting guard with a height, at 6-foot-10-inches, of a power forward, and he averaged 25 points per game last season. However, MVP voters value wins over huge scoring numbers, and Durantuala’s young teammates were still a little green. Russell Westbrook was putting up more ill-fated jumpers than poster dunks, Jeff Green was still adjusting to the physicality of the pro game, and the roster had yet to be filled out with supportive bench players. Cut to the present: Durant—21—has become the youngest scoring champion in the 64-year history of the NBA, averaging 30.1 ppg to beat out LeBron James’ average of 29.7. As Durant has risen, so have the rest of the Thunder players.

Oklahoma City won 50 games this year, 27 more than last year, marking one of the largest turnarounds in league history. The team had drafted well with its high pick in the 2009 draft, selecting former Arizona State shooting guard James Harden (he has the game of an old man, in a good way) with the number-three pick. The bench has also been reinforced by the emergence of Congo native Serge Ibaka, a raw hustle player who uses his unbelievable athleticism to disrupt with defense (he leads the team in blocks despite a piddly 18 minutes

[Durant] has the skills of a talented shooting guard with a height, at 6-foot-10-inches, of a power forward. per game). The Thunder have become a young, gritty team thanks to the stellar play and leadership of their string bean like captain with the effortless jump-shot who consistently throws in one third of his teams points by himself. However, despite a year of over-achieving and 50 wins his Thunder barely squeaked into the playoffs —earning the eighth and final seed in the Western Conference— allowing them the privilege of playing the reigning champion Los Angeles Lakers in the first round. The series started rough for the Thunder as they dropped the first two games at the Staples Center. However, the proverbial weather changed and

the Thunder rolled as the series shifted to Oklahoma City for games three and four. Durant turned in an MVP-worthy performance in the Thunder’s 101-96 game-three victory shutting down future Hall of Famer Kobe Bryant in the fourth quarter and icing the game with four clutch free-throws in the last minute. The Thunder capitalized on the momentum they gained from the franchises’ first playoff victory in game four, demolishing the Lakers 110-89 to even the series 2-2 and giving OKC fans a, perhaps delusional, belief that Durantula and Co. could pull a 2007 Golden State Warriors and become the secondever eight seed to dispatch of the regular season Conference champs in the first round. The Thunder and their fan’s astronomical hopes were brought back down to earth Tuesday night as the Lakers reminded the playoff neophytes that they are the defending NBA Champions with a 111-87 thrashing. The Lake Show’s latest dominate performance suggests the Thunder’s back-to-back wins in games three and four merely angered the defending champs. The Thunder now find themselves needing to win back-to-back games again just to keep their season alive, something that is unlikely as the Thunder are yet to win a road playoff game. It appears the wiley vet, Kobe Bryant, will get the best of Durantula and the Thunder this time around, but the young Thunder’s gritty performance against the defending champs has definitely shown the rest of league they will be a force to be reckoned with in the Western Conference for years to come. Fear the Spider.

year it was just for Whitman students,” Massey said. “The college is going to reassess the liability stuff with the wall, so maybe this summer, maybe next fall it will be open to the public, and then things will go back to normal.” Massey’s love of climbing began just before her freshman year at Whitman, but she sees climbing’s popularity among Whitman students as being the result of more than just a shared fondness for the outdoors. “It’s a very intellectual process, because you can’t rely simply on your strength to get up, you have to think about where you’re going to move at the moment, and then where you’re going to move five or 10 feet ahead,”

Massey said. “Whitman has a lot of outdoorsy people, so on that level it appeals to them, but it’s an interesting balance between being an individual process and a group process. You have your partner who’s belaying you and you need to have a good relationship with them, but at the same time you’re also up climbing and figuring the wall out for yourself.” Although the Sweet Onion Crank is over, both Massey and Sheedy hope student enthusiasm for rock climbing will continue to grow as the academic year winds down. “We have 55 new routes worked out,” Sheedy said. “Now is as good a time as ever to start climbing.”

S Baseball: The Missionaries are coming off of a surprise victory in Atherton, Calif. against Menlo College, snapping a four-game losing skid, the shortest of the season. This weekend they will be taking a trip to Spokane, Wash. to face Whitworth Unversity. On Saturday, May 1, they will kick off a double-header at noon, and on Sunday, May 2, they will play only one game starting at the same time. The Missionaries will be facing a

Whitworth club that is currently seventh in Northwest Conference standings, boasting a 7-14 conference record and 10-27 record overall. The Pirates are coming off of 15-14 win where they squeaked by Willamette University. However, they have lost 11 of their last 13 games. This season, the Missionaries have notched their highest conference and overall win totals since the 2006-2007 season.

S SATURDAY, April 24 Baseball: Whitman College 6, Menlo College 17 L—Tolleson (1-8) Score by Inning R H E Whitman...... 000 100 104 - 6 12 1 Menlo............ 020 036 33X - 17 10 1 Whitman College 7, Menlo College 12 W—Sease (0-2) Score by Inning R H E Whitman........ 000 102 004 - 7 13 1 Menlo............. 320 313 00X - 12 17 1

SUNDAY, April 25 Baseball: Whitman College 3, Menlo College 8 L—Korsmo (0-5) Score by Inning R H E Whitman..... 000 000 030 - 3 6 1 Menlo.......... 131 003 00X - 8 13 0 Whitman College 15, Menlo College 7 W—Mercado (2-9)

Clinton Court 602 Boyer Ave.

1 & 2 bedroom Apartments For Spring 2010 and beyond Walking distance – affordable No smoking please

Coldwell Banker First Realtors • 525-0820

Score by Inning R Whitman..... 060 502 101 - 15 Menlo........... 003 101 200 - 7

H 23 14

E 1 1

Women's Golf: Northwest Conference Championship 1. Whitworth University (654, +78), 2. George Fox University (+81), 3. University of Puget Sound (+97), 4. Linfield College (+108), 5. Whitman College (+117); Individual Scores—t-11. Head (168, +24), t-11. Holland (+24), t-23. Conway (+31), 34. Evans (+40), 36. Saito (+44), t-38. Lodine (+48)

Men's Golf: Northwest Conference Championship 1. Whitworth University (618, +42), 2. University of Puget Sound (+44), t-3. Linfield College (+46), t-3. Pacific University (+46), 5. Whitman College (+66); Individual Scores—t-8. Campbell (156, +12), t-15. Abercrombie (+15), t-15. Burks (+15), t-35. Clark (+24), 40. Devine (+33), 41. Raher (+34)

The Pioneer

Backpage

This page is filled with jokes!

ISSUE 12 APR. 29, 2010 Page 12

Honest product warnings

+ In an episode not broadcast to the public, the Duck Tales gang came to Whitman. The Backpage was able to unearth a copy of the script.

te Toothpaste: Can ruin the tas e. juic nge ora of of a glass

T9: Warning: This technology assumes you’d like to use the word “coolangatta” when you’d just like to say “cool.” T9 will make you generally unintelligible to the receiver of your texts and should not be used as a substitute for a dictionary or Coffee: Caution: Combining spell-check. this “fair trade” product with the musical styling’s of Caribou or Animal Collective, a lineless moleskin and a hatred for “the system” will result in a feeling of superiority stunted by the immediate urge to drop a deuce.

DUCK TALES

Whitman College SCROOGE MCDUCK: Well boys, here we are at selling book collections for $50,000. int. DEWEY: Oh, Uncle Scrooge, you stereotypical skinfl s! LOUIS: Hey guys, here come the native s! HUEY: Pipe down Louis. Whoa, here come the native WHITTIE DUCK #1: What up, my bros? in a foreign accent. SCROOGE MCDUCK: They seem to be speaking just about to see were We WHITTIE DUCK #2: Come with us, dude! um. Duck Lakum into fit how many ducks we can DEWEY: Why are they wearing plaid? later if you want to stop WHITTIE DUCK #3: We’ll be grilling in Narnia algae. hot by for some tive culture. SCROOGE MCDUCK: Grilling? Ha! What a primi drop by the island in WHITTIE DUCK #4: If not, you should definitely that a hen? is , the middle of the North Pond later . . . Whoa WHITTIE DUCKS: FEMALES!!! (Chase after female duck) h . . . Oh my god! What HUEY: Is that some kind of tribal dance or somet ? are they doing LOUIS: That’s so awful. le! How do you live like DEWEY: Not now, Louis. Seriously, this is terrib this? es it. Plus, ducklings WHITTIE DUCK #5: Everyone pretty much ignor ived? conce were you are SO CUTE! How do you think show! BOYS: AHHHH! This is a children’s Launchpad, start the SCROOGE MCDUCK: Don’t listen to him, boys. plane. To Duckberg!

T9: Wa rning: Thi techno s logy you’d like assumes to word “co use the ola when you ngatta” ’d just to say like “cool.” T9 will make you genera unintelligi lly ble to the receiver of your texts and sho uld not used as be a substit ute for a dic tionary or spell-ch eck.

Coffee: Caution: Combining this “fair trade” product with the musical styling’s of Caribou or Animal Collective, a lineless moleskin and a hatred for “the system” will result in a feeling of superiority stunted by the immediate urge to drop a deuce.

Viewer Discretion is Advised: Your curiosity as to what is so disturbing about this show about gangs and the mothers who raised them will cause you to devote the next one hour of your night to sitting on the couch flipping between this show and Malcolm in the Middle whilst foregoing your opportunity to mack on Lola from the office at the triple kegger down the street.

May cause dependency. Foregoing access will lead to withdrawal symptoms.

Hair straightener: Warning: No matter what, your loneliness and desire to attract the opposite sex will be deterred by your inability to straighten the back of your hair. Party in the front, Lizzie McGuirestyle crimp in the back.

attract ss and desire to what, your loneline of your hair. Warning: No matter straighten the back Hair Straightener: by your inability to Crimp in the back. will be deterred Lizzie McGuire-Styled the opposite sex Party in the Front,

ILLUSTRATIONS BY DOUGLAS In an effort to become culturally relevant again, it has been rumored that the new Pokemon game (Black and White) will contain many unconventional Pokemon. The Pio got an exclusive look at the new politically-focused pocket monsters:

CIA, don’t go there

The CIA has recently had a problem with their classified files being released via the Web site Wikileaks, who made infamous a video of U.S. soldiers needlessly shooting down civilians and two journalists. The following piece is the most recent file exposed by the CIA.

File Report #2736746 Agent: Molly Prattaka Agent 9996119 OK, so I’ll be honest, I just got here so I’m of these things, Agent 0012117, sorry. I guess you point too, huh? LOL. But you told me to make a list of “entities” people from going, for their own safety. I’m not here is my list so far: 1. West Bank: Too much blood! 2. Colombia: Too many guns! 3. Somalia: Too many confusing languages! 4. Blackwater: Don’t go there!!!! 5. Cambodia: TOOO HOT! Plus drug traﬀic! 6. Sri Lanka: TOOO HOT! Plus human traffic! 7. Hamptons on weekends: TOOO HOT! Plus traﬀic! 8. In the Hamptons, where I lost my virginity: DON’T GO THERE!!! SNAP SNAP!! 9. Iraq’s green zone: Too green!

not exactly sure how to file one were fresh out of Harvard at one where the state is prohibiting sure what “entities” means, but

10. Iraq’s red zone: Too red! 11. Iraqi death toll: DO NOT EEEEVEN GO THERE 12. Bridal Emporium on a half-oﬀ sale: Too physically violent 13. My mom’s house when all my married sisters are visiting: Too emotionally violent 14. Condaleeza’s prior knowledge of 9/11: SISTAH YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO THERE; TRUST ME 15. When my boyfriend will propose: Actually, I’d be interested in going there, if you’d give me clearance 16. Team Jacob v. Team Edward: DO NOT FUCKING GO THERE!!!!!!!

Freshmen band updates Hey! Remember way back in the beginning of the year when we interviewed the newest freshman bands? Well, we just re-interviewed each and here’s what they had to say:

JAH REL AX CHILL CHAMBER (formerly TigerLaunch)

So, initially we started playing metal overlaid with John Mayer textures, but that got old pretty fast. Our guitarist started smoking weed like four weeks into first semester, and we pretty much just started playing reggae covers of pop songs. It’s like . . . totally chill. We were going to try and write some original songs but everybody just got too tired. We haven’t rehearsed in like eight weeks, but as soon as we do we’ve got this reggae cover of Lady GaGa’s “Telephone” that’s going to blow a lot of people’s minds.

FIRE AND SPICE

Best. Semester. Ever. We started playing/DJing at the TKE house every other weekend, and now we’ve got like, four shows booked over the next week! People just can’t get enough of our unique blend of socially conscious rap and hot dance beats! Whitman has really made a big impact on our lives. Right now we’re working on three separate concept albums, each based off a different chapter of Edward Said’s “Orientalism.” It’s gonna be dope.

C AMPUS MAIL

We disbanded almost immediately after the band was featured in The Pioneer. The group first started deteriorating after our lead vocalist had to leave school for his addiction to dining hall snickerdoodles. Soon after that the guitarist went solo and now plays Jack Johnson songs to freshman girls at his room in Anderson. In November, our bassist and drummer started their own group called Clown Vomit that plays mainly for the hipster crowd or whatever. Wait, you seriously haven’t heard of us? Weird.

QUIET ROOM

DAMLUJI

Picture a leaf gliding on a morning breeze. Now picture a humming bird whirring past the leaf to drink sweet nectar from a tender blossom in a wooded glen. Now picture a naked man posing among the shaded grass. That’s our music if by music you mean art and by art you mean soft-core porn. There is only one thing more resonant than music, or what we call melodic language innovation, and that is porn. In October, during the photo shoot for our album cover, our poses became more and more revealing until, boom, we were making soft-core porn featuring Frisbees. We call ourselves the Disc-jockies.