Whitman Pioneer Spring 2010 - Issue 13 by Whitman College Wire

SUMMER MUSIC FESTIVALS A comprehensive guide to this summer’s music festivals

RACE TO THE FINISH The true story behind the official beer mile

HOME STRETCH Baseball drops final games of 2010 to Whitworth Pirates

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WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVI Issue 13 whitmanpioneer.com M , 

Ralph Nader urges civic involvement

Students express registration frustration

The consumer rights advocate and four-time presidential candidate spoke Wednesday on the role of corporations in the government and what citizens can do.

by JOSH GOODMAN Associate News Editor

Nearly 250 students, largely frustrated by reduced course offerings as a result of the upcoming 3-2 teaching schedule, larger classes and a 16-credit pre-registration cap for fall 2010, expressed their concerns in a recent ASWC survey on pre-registration. Faculty and administrators, meanwhile, are pointing to statistics indicating that the effect of 3-2 on pre-registration has been minimal. Faculty approved a 3-2 teaching load in November, reducing the number of courses full-time faculty teach from six to five per academic year and reducing the number of course sections per semester by 17 percent. The number of courses offered will only fall by seven percent because many courses will continue to be offered but with fewer sections than in previous years. Class sizes will be bigger, too. Director of Institutional Research Neal Christopherson said that despite fewer course sections, there will be only 200 fewer total seats available in classes in the fall 2010 semester compared to fall 2009. “I’m hesitant to agree to the premise that people had more trouble registering than in previous years, but I certainly believe that people were more sensitive to it because of 3-2,” Christopherson said, noting the relative stability in the total number of seats available. Additionally, the 16-credit cap was created, independent from the 3-2 switch, in response to difficulties with first-year registration last year. The idea is that by preventing students from signing up for an overload and then dropping courses, more seats will be available for first-years. Continuing students will be allowed to register for additional courses once firstyears have registered. “The problem here is the tug and pull phenomenon,” said Registrar Ron Urban. “There are some students who say ‘why can’t we add one or two credits’? The opposing force is that returning students sign up for a lot of classes they don’t take . . . By restricting the enrollment cap to 16, the hope was that some spaces would be left for new students.” The ASWC survey found the overwhelming majority of respondents were REGISTR ATION, page 2

by JOE VOLPERT Staff Reporter

BOWMAN Ralph Nader spoke on Wednesday, May 5, at Cordiner Hall. Students were enthusiastic about his proposal that Whitman offer a civic skills class.

Self-described “public citizen” Ralph Nader was welcomed to the Whitman campus with not one but two standing ovations Wednesday evening when he presented “Going Green: Getting it to the Bottom Line,” a lecture on the intersection between big business, the government, the environment and civic involvement. Nader opened his speech with a call to action, asking how many college students in the room had sat in on a court case or attended a town hall meeting. Few raised their hands. “I see students today as having an obligation to contemplate their own leadership,” he said. Nader proposed that Whitman, along with colleges and universities nationwide, implement a civic skills course that would teach students how to be involved in the civic realm, rather than only address theories. Such a class would hopefully give students a passion for civic participation. The proposal was met with overwhelming support from the audience. According to Nader, fewer than a doz-

After vote, Panhellenic Association ‘95 percent sure’ fourth sorority will be added to campus by JOCELYN RICHARD News Editor

Ever since the women’s fraternity Delta Delta Delta left Whitman in 2005, Whitties have speculated about the possibility of establishing a new women’s fraternity on campus, an idea which gained momentum last spring after Greek women passed a resolution to begin researching the extension process. On April 25, members of the three current women’s fraternities voted overwhelmingly in favor of moving forward with extension, making it very likely students will see a new sorority at Whitman in the near future. “This is a big deal,” said Panhellenic President Heather Smith, a sophomore. “This is the crucial step we needed to reach in order to say we’re

95 percent sure we’re getting a fourth sorority in Fall 2011.” Early planning for extension began nearly two years ago in response to the issue of overcrowding within Whitman’s three women’s fraternities, Delta Gamma, Kappa Alpha Theta and Kappa Kappa Gamma. Membership numbers have been steadily increasing every year since 2005, when Delta Delta Delta left campus because of dwindling numbers, among other reasons. “The college is growing, but we’re also doing a really good job of recruitment and so we’re attracting a lot of women,” said Smith. “If this keeps happening, we wouldn’t be able to give bids to all the girls who want to join a sorority—not because we don’t want them, but because we just can’t

fit them. That’s one of the main reasons the administration has approved this; they hate the idea of not having enough room to give bids to all the girls who want one.” Delta Gamma is the largest women’s fraternity on campus this year with 106 members, and President Ruby Glaser explained that members were united in their enthusiasm for taking the next steps toward extension. “Whenever we go through recruitment, we always end up with a huge new member class,” said Glaser. “With such large groups, it’s hard for us to maintain our organization. When the classes are smaller, it makes it more intimate for the members because you really get to know everybody.” Sophomore Geni Venable, president SORORITY, page 2

Farmers’ Market looks New theater fest to produce ahead to busy season by RACHEL ALEXANDER Staff Reporter

VON HAFFTEN Above: Susan Hosticka of Octopus Garden Honey gives a free sample to a customer. Below: Cody Norgaard!Stroich holds a Waliser Farms chick.

Walla Walla residents walking down Main Street last weekend were treated to the smells of fresh baked bread, ripe local produce and handmade beeswax soaps. The source of this aromatic array was the Walla Walla Valley Farmers’ Market, which opened for the season on Saturday, May 1. Several dozen vendors sold everything from jewelry to apple-carrot-ginger-beet juice to a diverse group of patrons. For Whitman students, the market is an exciting opportunity to venture off campus and interact with the local community. “It reminds me of home and how I went to my local farmers’ market every weekend,” said first-year Nathan Wong. “It’s nice to get some exposure to the town.” Aimee McGuire, the market manager, said she looks forward to a good season. The market will be open every Saturday and Sunday through October 30 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. About 70 vendors have signed up so far, and she expects to see more turn in paperwork as the season goes on. “These are really good numbers,” she said. Farmers look forward to the market as an opportunity to interact directly with customers. “It’s a good way for people not to go through all the middlemen and chain stores,” said farmer Buddy Locati, who

has sold asparagus at the market for 14 years. “It brings the community together.” Proving his point, Locati was frequently interrupted in the process of answering questions by customers asking how he’d been during the offseason. Farmer John Zerba also appreciates the community element of the market. “It’s a good social occasion,” he said. “I get to meet a lot of people who I would never see.” Zerba has been a farmer his whole life, and currently sells honey, nuts, flowers, cherries, peaches, apricots and several other fruits and vegetables at the market. Like many other farmers at the market, his farm is not certified organic, though he said he uses some organic chemicals on his farms. “Organic gives you an excuse to sell at a bigger price,” he said. Locati, a third generation farmer, said his farm is not organic either. “I’m a traditional farmer,” he said. “I’ll probably stay that way after 38 years.” Organic or not, both farmers stressed that their customers were getting a better deal than they would get at chain stores and supermarkets. Locati sells his asparagus to local grocery stores, including Super 1 Foods and Albertsons, but says that there’s no guarantee the produce is fresh, and his MARKET, page 2

One-Act Play Contest rejects by AMI TIAN Staff Reporter

This Sunday, May 9, at 4 p.m. the first ever Blank by Blank Festival will feature original, student-written, studentproduced plays, many of which were not picked as finalists in this year’s One-Act Play Contest. The festival, organized by the student-run theater company 12 Stones, will be presented in various locations around campus. The audience will congregate in the amphitheatre adjacent to Lyman Hall for food and drink and walk from there to the location of the first performance. Sophomore Theo Pratt, producer of the festival, was inspired by a recent installment of 12 Stones’ serial, “Christina and the Clockwork Boy,” which employed a similar site-specific format. Walking during the show encouraged socialization and interaction amongst the audience. Pratt wanted to recreate a similar communal experience for the Blank by Blank Festival. “One of the great things about being in the audience, walking as a crowd, is you can talk to different people in between scenes about what was going on,” explained Pratt. “There is a lot of energy from being in a moving crowd going to see different things.” When asked about the individual plays being featured in the festival, Pratt 12 STONES, page 2

en schools currently offer such civic skills courses. Nader also emphasized the amount of power that corporations hold in society. He thinks that corporations have become masters of our society on a global scale. “We let [the corporations] create a corporate state,” he said. Nader also discussed his disappointment with our political system and the problems inherent in a two-party system, which he believes is one of the reasons the United States has such a low voter turnout. “I’m disappointed with the political process, and guess what, I’m not the only one,” said Nader. “The two-party tyranny is riding the myth of voter trust.” His lecture was attended by students, alumni and Walla Walla residents, and many seemed to appreciate the real-world applicability of his ideas. Students were especially receptive to his idea of a civic skills course. Politics major David Mathews appreciated Nader’s advice about entering the real world. As a senior, Mathews observed LECTURE , page 3

Bookstore to offer textbook list online by JEREMY GUGGENHEIM Staff Reporter

The Whitman College Bookstore is planning to implement a new, web-based system that will allow students to find out which books their courses require at the time of registration. The system is expected to be ready by the start of the fall 2011 semester, although this could be pushed forward to as early as the start of the spring 2011 semester. As it is envisioned now, students who are registering would be able to click on a link by the courses they are interested in to go to a page where the required books for that course would be listed. These pages would list all publication information, including ISBNs, so students could learn exactly which edition of a book is required. The pages would also list the prices from Whitman’s bookstore. The move comes as a result of a change in the Higher Education Opportunities Act made when the legislation went before Congress last year for a routine renewal. The change mandated that colleges and universities inform students at the time of registration of which books they would need for their courses. The mandate goes into effect on July 1, 2010. Although Whitman may not comply with this law for a year or more after it goes into effect, Bookstore Director Douglas Carlsen is not concerned about the legal implications of the delay. “The law has no penalties. The law has no encouragements,” he said. “It’s just a stated preference in law that we would like to see information available to students in advance of them being offered on the shelf, for as cheap a price as possible.” Carlsen said that the bookstore hoped to be in compliance with the law as soon as possible. The delay, he said, stems primarily from a planned overhaul of the college’s registration system. It is important that the bookstore’s online information system integrate well with the new registration system, he said, something that will be impossible until the registration system has been set up. Carlsen also emphasized that implementing the new information system would be logistically challenging. “Information on the titles comes from the faculty. And until the faculty tell us what they’re using, that information online will be blank,” said Carlsen. “So that’s the real difficulty—getting information in BOOKS, page 2

NEWS

SORORITY: Chapters over capacity  page 1 of Kappa Alpha Theta, said Thetas agreed that membership numbers have grown too large. However, the issue inspired some debate. “I think there was probably a little more dissension within Theta than within other groups,” said Venable. “Girls who directly expressed concern were mostly freshmen, and they really view Theta as a very eclectic mix of girls; some have said they think Theta gets girls who would never go Greek. I think that’s a skewed perception; I think as they come to get to know the other groups better, they’ll see these stereotypes in a different way and won’t feel like that as much. But they were afraid that adding a fourth sorority with no preexisting reputation would draw girls who may not have gone Greek, or who may have gone Theta away from our chapter.” Students have also expressed concern that the addition of a new chapter will substantially increase the presence and influence of the Greek system on campus. Smith and Glaser stress that the purpose of the new women’s fraternity is not to increase membership, but to reduce overcrowding within chapters by spreading out the numbers. “There’s this rumor around campus that if we bring in a new sorority, the Greek system will be taking over campus and there will be an overwhelming number of women in the Greek system, but that’s now how it’s going to work,” said Smith. “We’re getting a new sorority so we can lower the number of women in our chapters. At first, there would be a few more because it would take a while for our chapters sizes to go down, but after three or four years, we would all be around 80-85 members, which would be ideal.” There are many steps involved in establishing a new women’s fraternity on campus, and Smith anticipates the process will take two years to complete. After applying for extension to the National Panhellenic Conference this past spring, Whitman’s Panhellenic Associa-

tion received interest from five chapters. Over the next few weeks, the extension committee—made up of Smith and three representatives from each women’s fraternity—narrowed this list to three potential chapters, who will give presentations to the campus sometime in fall 2010. After the presentations, the selection committee will decide whether or not to bring one of the chapters to Whitman. If the faculty approves the plan, the new women’s fraternity will introduce itself to campus in Spring 2011 and go through formal recruitment the following fall. Recruitment will be a major challenge for the new chapter because during its first year on campus, it will have to recruit a whole chapter of members— underclassmen as well as upperclassmen—in order to colonize. Smith said one of the most important criteria the

I do believe it will be difficult to get upperclassmen excited about joining, especially if they’re a senior and it will be the only year they would be a part of it. - Geni Venable ‘12

extension committee is using to evaluate new chapters is whether they have been successful in the past colonizing at both large and small schools. Nevertheless, recruitment will not be easy. “I see this fourth sorority as having a lot of trouble gaining people because it doesn’t already have the established reputation,” said Venable. “The existing three sororities are going to have to push this and give a lot of support for this fourth sorority in order for it to get the recruitment numbers it needs for its first year, because instead of 30—our approximate quota for last year—it’s going to need to get about 60 new mem-

bers for an entire chapter.” The new sorority may have an especially difficult time recruiting seniors. “I do believe it will be difficult to get upperclassmen excited about joining, especially if they’re a senior and it will be the only year they would be a part of it,” Venable said. However, Venable shared Smith and Glaser’s hope that women will be excited about the idea of joining a new women’s fraternity because it will give them the chance to jump into a leadership role and be a part of something brand new. “We’re hoping that since the sorority doesn’t exist on campus yet, it would really be like creating your own sorority. This would be the opportunity to start something new and leave a legacy at Whitman. They’re specifically looking for members to take on leadership roles within the sorority, so I think at a place like Whitman that opportunity would be especially appealing to people.” Despite some Thetas’ concern that the new women’s fraternity will have trouble getting off its feet, Venable believes the new chapter will do everything it can to get women excited about joining. “Having a chapter of any sort at Whitman College is phenomenal for national sororities,” she said. “Every group here has a phenomenal GPA compared to the national average. National expectations for grades and behavior are far below what goes on at Whitman. Most groups are willing to bend over backwards to get a chapter at Whitman.” “There’s this feeling around campus that if we bring in a new sorority, the Greek system will be taking over campus and there will be an overwhelming number of women in the Greek system, but that’s now how it’s going to work,” said Smith. “We’re getting a new sorority so we can lower the number of women in our chapters. At first, there would be a few more because it would take a while for our chapters sizes to go down, but after three or four years, we would all be around 80-85 members, which would be ideal.”

MARKET: Buy local movement helps  page 1 prices are sometimes cheaper. “People are wanting to buy direct,” he said. “If they can save money and get something fresh, that’s good for their pocketbooks.” Last year’s sales support Locati’s claim. McGuire said that in spite of the recession, farmers’ sales were up 20 percent. “People were definitely buying more of their groceries local, which is awesome,” she said. Total market sales did fall last season, down about $30,000 from the previous year. This decline came largely from people purchasing fewer concessions and prepared food, items which are more expensive and discretionary than produce. Total reported sales for the season were about $500,000, though McGuire estimates the actual number is about 20 percent higher, since many farmers don’t report sales. Many local restaurants and businesses also buy from the market. McGuire said seeing chefs buying fresh produce in the morning is one of her favorite parts of the market. “That stuff is going straight to the restaurants. It’s going to be in meals that are prepared that day. It’s really cool to see that,” she said. She believes the market provides people with more than food. “It’s a little getaway where you can relax and eat,” she said. “I think people like to know some things are a little slower than the rest of their lives.”

Sweeties Edible Wonders serves up vegan and gluten!free muffins at the Walla Walla Valley Farmers’ Market.

Students abroad gain right to vote by JOSH GOODMAN Associate New Editor

The ASWC Senate voted on Sunday, May 2, to allow students studying abroad and in domestic off-campus study programs to vote in ASWC elections. Until this year, such students had been unable to vote in ASWC elections because they technically were not paying ASWC dues while abroad. ASWC made the change by eliminating voting as a right of membership and

IN THIS ISSUE: News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1-3 Feature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4-5 A&E . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6-7 Opinion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8-9 Sports . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10-11 Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

simultaneously adding a by-law that established who can vote. The by-law states that current Whitman students, along with those in study abroad programs, are eligible. Students on a leave of absence will still be unable to vote in ASWC elections. The change was prompted by a surge of complaints from juniors studying abroad, many of whom were upset that they were unable to vote in this year’s Executive Council elections. Several pointed out the irony that they would not be able to vote for the people representing them during their senior year, when they would be paying the ASWC fee. Senior and Vice President and Student Affairs Chair Jordan Clark said that though the by-law change was originally envisioned as a constitutional amend-

ment to be offered to students in the fall, senators decided to go ahead with the change without a vote from students because it was a relatively uncontroversial change. Had it gone to students in the fall, the bill would have required 20 percent of the student body to vote in a special election to be considered. Clark, who was saddened that his friends abroad could not vote for him when he ran for vice president, noted that he was glad that juniors abroad would be able to vote in the future, since it’s a change that has “seep[ed] through the cracks” before. “I’m just glad we were able to do it and do it quickly,” he said. “The Executive Council that’s coming in is really great, but in the transition coming in, there’s always some things that get lost and I didn’t want this one to get lost.”

May 6, 2010M

BOOKS: Students turn to Internet  page 1 a timely enough manner from people who are busy doing other things that they are required to do.” Difficulties aside, Carlsen said the bookstore was committed to providing as much information to students about their required books as early as possible. Students reacted positively to news of the bookstore’s plans. Sophomore Billy Low was pleased with the upcoming change. “Finally,” he said. “I want to see the books that I need, so I don’t have to buy them from them—from the bookstore.” Lo said he thought that depending on the title, and whether you bought new or used, buying books online could be substantially cheaper. These sorts of beliefs concern Carlsen. “One of the difficulties we face is what I call the big box mentality,” he said. “You think, ‘oh, it’s in the big box stores,’ therefore it must be cheaper.” He explained that though certain items were indeed less expensive when bought from large retailers, this was far from being the case with everything. He added that he thinks that the bookstore can be competitive with online sales. “We’ve had books on our shelves that were cheaper than you could find anywhere online,” he said. “There was particular title on Amazon that was selling for $95, and we were selling it for $87. So if students make an assumption, that’s when we get hurt.”

Carlsen said he thought the bookstore might suffer even if students made a fair comparison. Averaged however, he emphasized that the difference between buying online and buying from the bookstore wasn’t significant. “It’s always been the case that if you bought all your books from us [versus if] you bought all your books online . . . that with shipping and handling and all that, the ease of returns . . . all of those things being equal, in terms of time, energy, money, it’s a pretty balanced choice. But we understand the pressures, and the realities of the marketplace, and the realities of people’s belief that it’s always cheaper elsewhere.” Carlsen also stressed how all of the bookstore’s profits go back to the school, and the store was ultimately focused on the good of the students. While many students will turn to the Internet, especially with advanced notice of the book list, others note that they look at a bigger picture. “My rule of thumb is, I only buy [online] if it’s from the northwest,” said senior Autumn McCartan. “It’s not worth it to me, if I’m saving $3, to ship it from Maine.” McCartan also said that she felt like she was missing something when she shopped online. “Frankly, I like going to the bookstore,” she said. “You always see people that you know, especially right after summer break or winter break, [who] you haven’t seen in a while. The bookstore atmosphere, you wouldn’t get that [online].”

REGISTRATION: Survey showcases difficulties  page 1 frustrated with the changes in pre-registration and course offerings for the fall 2010 semester. Only 9.9 percent of survey respondents said they experienced no difficulty during the pre-registration process while 70.3 percent found the preregistration process moderately, very or extremely difficult. ASWC provided student responses from the survey to The Pioneer on the condition that the respondents not be quoted. Among the most frequent survey comments were frustration with the 16-credit cap—particularly in regards to wanting to take SSRA and other activity credits, larger class sizes and the lack of electronic waitlists. Other frequent comments included the fact that tuition is increasing at a time when course sections are decreasing and class sizes are increasing and the inability to get into appropriate classes in one’s major. Environmental Studies majors were especially vocal about difficulties with the number of classes in their concentrations offered and the ability to get into enough courses from both the Environmental Studies department and their other chosen department. “We’re really worried that [3-2 and the 16-credit cap are] seriously going to affect the quality of the Whitman experience,” said junior Ombudsman and Vice President-elect John Loranger, who created the survey. “We’re just hoping that the faculty and administration understand the gravity of the situation from the student perspective.” Furthermore, results from this survey came from a far larger group of students than most ASWC surveys. Two hundred thirty-eight students had filled out the survey, released Sunday May 2, by Wednesday, May 5. “I’ve done a million surveys in my time at ASWC and it’s like pulling teeth to get people to take them,” said senior Vice President and Student Affairs Chair Jordan Clark. “This is one of the few surveys we’ve done where the response has been enormous and passionate, which indicates that something needs to be done immediately.” In response to student concerns, ASWC is attempting to get an agenda item on this Friday’s academic affairs committee meeting. “[We want] a clear, documented, prioritized commitment to making new faculty hires and . . . a continued dialogue and greater transparency between the faculty and ASWC,” said ASWC President Nadim Damluji, who also hoped that an explanation of the 3-2 change to students and an official survey from the registrar would come from this and other discussions. While ASWC officials expressed frustration at the fact that they have not been guaranteed the chance to discuss registration concerns at the academic affairs committee meeting, President George Bridges noted that there has been student involvement since the beginning of the process. “Recently, Andrea Dobson, our chair of the faculty, and I attended a town hall meeting on this and other subjects where students [voiced] their thoughts and concerns on this issue,” he said in an e-mail.

“Student representatives will continue to sit on trustee committees considering the five course load and will have many opportunities to voice their opinions and concerns. If students have other ideas about how they would like to be involved, I am certainly open to hearing their suggestions.” Several years of record admissions without creating many new faculty lines has also played a role in the increasing difficulties of registration. “I’ve been looking at historical data: The times when we seem to have the biggest trouble finding spaces for the incoming students are when we have these larger student bodies,” said Christopherson. While there were 1,515 students this year—“an exceptionally large student body” according to Christopherson— the college is projecting that there will be 1,540 students this fall. That’s noticeably more than the 1,489 during the 2007-08 academic year, for which current juniors were first-years. The student to faculty ratio has also inched upwards from 9.5:1 to 10:1 since then, suggesting that there has been more difficulty getting into popular classes even before the 3-2 switch. Provost and Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn noted that he and Christopherson are working to add sections for the most in-demand classes. “Where possible, I will add new sections of courses for which the demand is greatest,” he said in an e-mail. “I will do so, of course, only when I am able to identify instructors who are fully qualified to teach courses at Whitman.” Kaufman-Osborn added that some departments have one-year visiting professor positions that have not been filled and did not allow students to pre-register for classes by those professors, restricting the number of offerings in those departments for the time being. Students are still ripe with questions. One survey respondent wondered whether the change would still allow for an exploration of a variety of interests, as liberal arts schools typically encourage, since many of the departments they wanted to explore had few open seats. Another noted the dilemma many peers faced in getting into organic chemistry; two sections will be offered in fall 2010 compared to three in fall 2009. Organic chemistry is a requirement for chemistry and biology majors as well as pre-med students. Several more students wondered why SSRA and other non-academic credits counted towards the 16-credit cap, since it was impossible to sign up for such classes if one was taking four four-credit classes but impractical to drop a four-credit class to take a one-credit class. Urban said that he felt that, in the end, things would work out for students. “I don’t want to minimize the difficulties people are experiencing, but I think a certain amount of this is the anxieties of the unknown,” he said. “There’s a change about to happen, and there could be a negative impact. I think people tend to overemphasize the magnitude of the negative impact. That’s not to say that there won’t be any growing pains [but] I don’t see any evidence for major problems right now.”

NEWS

May 6, 2010

Greenhouse gas audit offers sustainability suggestions by RACHEL ALEXANDER Staff Reporter

Results from Whitman’s second annual greenhouse gas emission audit were presented to the administration on Monday, May 3. A team of 15 students participated in the audit and presented their report, as well as recommendations for the college to further reduce emissions. The audit found that the college emitted 5.38 megatonnes carbon dioxide equivalent per member of the campus community for the fiscal year 2009. This is down from the 10 megatonnes found in last year’s audit, but senior Sustainability Coordinator Lisa Curtis stressed that this difference is largely due to changes in methodology. For example, this year’s audit decided not to count student travel to and from campus, an area which was included last year. The rationale behind this decision was that

students have to get to campus somehow, so these trips can’t feasibly be eliminated as part of a strategy to reduce emissions. President George Bridges pledged to consider the results of the audit seriously and make an effort to follow the audit team’s recommendations. “I can assure you that this will not sit on a shelf and get dusty. It is a report that we will look at very carefully,” he said. Though the audit team is still in the process of making recommendations, they highlighted several areas which the college could focus on. Solid food waste was responsible for just over 10 percent of the college’s total emissions, and implementing a campus-wide composting program would help divert a large amount of this waste from landfills. In addition, they recommended that the college create more incentives for stu-

dents to reduce waste, by having incentives for bringing bags to the bookstore and reusable mugs to campus cafés.

Recycling has taken the front space and reducing and reusing are kind of on the back burner. - Katie Radosevic ‘12

“Recycling has taken the front space and reducing and reusing are kind of on the back burner,” said sophomore Katie Radosevic, who helped with the audit. A number of recommendations concerned making future audits easier for the students doing them. Students presenting data said that they often had to

rely on guesstimation because college records aren’t kept in a useful format. For example, the college keeps track of the amount of money spent on schoolsponsored faculty travel, but doesn’t keep records of miles traveled, making an emissions audit difficult. Bridges said he hopes to work to solve this information gap. “We need to find a way to do [the audit] that isn’t so burdensome that people don’t want to do it,” he said. To avoid this problem in future audits, each group involved in the audit created a form for the data they needed, which will be sent to the appropriate contact on campus. In addition to making future audits easier, this will help ensure uniformity and reliability of data. “One of the problems with the audit is that methodologically, we’re measuring things differently each year,” said Jed Schwendiman, associate to the

president and co-chair of the Conservation and Recycling Committee. “At this point, I’m not confident that the results from last year can be compared to the results from this year.” He said that the college will focus on two or three large-impact areas when considering steps to reduce emissions in the coming year. In particular, measures that will save the college money will be carefully considered. “If there are ways we can conserve resources and save money, we’re going to be more motivated to do those things,” he said. President Bridges is confident that the audit results can be used to improve Whitman’s carbon footprint, and to make future audits easier. “We will continue to push this agenda. I expect that we will have a report next year with better findings and less footprint,” he said.

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Staff Reporter

One year ago, Whitman introduced a sexual misconduct prevention program on campus called ‘The Green Dot Program.” The program was established due to the large amount of sexual misconduct that exists on college campuses. “[Sexual misconduct is] a large problem on every campus, regardless of whether or not people have reported it” said Barbara Maxwell Associate Dean of Students for Student Programs and Activities. “One of the prominent studies on this particular issue came up with a formula which is that most campuses can expect to experience 36 incidents of rape or attempted rape for every 1000 women on campus... At Whitman our female population fluctuates, but if those numbers are true, we are talking about roughly 27 women every year.” Maxwell is the co-chair of a coalition against sexual violence in Washington State. Last year, this coalition looked into possible programs for preventing sexual violence on college campus’ and came to the conclusion that the Green Dot Program created by Dr. Edwards of Kentucky would be the best program to establish among colleges in the state. The prevention program centers around the basic idea of ‘green dots’ and ‘red dots.’ A green dot is any action or behavior that makes campus safer, while a red dot is any act of sexual misconduct, or any behavior that ignores or perpetuates sexual misconduct. “Our goal ultimately is to provide an effective prevention program at our own institution and then to have it spread throughout the state. So if you have friends at other institutions “green dot’ would be something that all of us in the

state share” said Maxwell. However, most colleges in the state did not launch the Green Dot Program this year. According to Maxwell, “some schools were in a better position to launch the program, and others were in a better position to take a year and plan for it.” The introduction of the Green Dot Program on Whitman campus involved a presentation to incoming first-years during orientation week, and two in-depth bystander training sessions one offered each semester. This upcoming fall, the Green Dot presentation given to incoming students during orientation week will be quite different than last year. “Mrs. Maxwell has been working with a group of six of us for formulate a new orientation program” said first-year Devin Kuh. “We are really trying to incorporate a big student involvement from previously trained green dot members in order to connect with incoming students more than just the administration being like “this is bad, you shouldn’t do it.” Maxwell explained that she felt like this change to the orientation program would cause incoming students to adopt to the program faster. “I think when you have students saying to students this is what we do at Whitman the buy in will be faster and the buy in will be greater.” Maxwell said. First-year Andy Larson, who went through the green-dot orientation program last fall with all other freshmen, expressed that while he felt that while sexual prevention was important, the Green Dot program was not necessarily the best way to deal with this. “The idea behind the green dot program is a good one.” Larson said. “But I

think that the ‘green dot’ ‘red dot’ aspect of it is phrased in such a way that because it is over-simplistic it is joked about and ultimately more harmful because people don’t take it seriously.” Maxwell explained that she felt that simplicity of the idea of a ‘green dot’ and ‘red dot’ was actually beneficial to the program. “Red dot and green dot are very basic simplistic terms, and you have taken a complicated issue that is often very hard to talk about and you have made it very, very, basic.” said Maxwell. “I never thought that [the simplicity] would be a benefit, but if that is the result and it does make these issues easier to talk about, even if people are sometimes joking, then I’m all for basic ‘red dot’ ‘green dot’... as long as they have correctly identified the red dot.” Kuh felt a similar way. “I think the biggest difference it has made is just making sexual misconduct more talked about and getting it into the populous as something that should be talked about should be everyone making an effort to stop it... It’s good that it’s in the consciousness. I do think that we can do more to make people understand the seriousness of it” said Kuh. Ultimately, Maxwell believes that Whitman is a great environment for this sexual misconduct prevention program: “We’ve had as many people go through the training offering it twice as central has and I think they’ve offered it four times” said Maxwell.” I think it reflects that Whitman is a place where people really care about each other, and if theres anything people can do to make their friends safe, they are willing to do it... If green dot can’t work at Whitman, it can’t work anywhere.”

LECTURE: Nader to visit classes  page 1 that Nader’s speech will be especially useful as he prepares for life after Whitman. “I thought it was really interesting the way he combined personal ethics with sense of civic responsibility and the idea that you have to actively jump into it,” said Mathews. “Especially as a senior, looking at what I’m going to be doing in the future, having to jump into the real world is something that rang very poignantly for me.” First-year Kate Kight said that she would like to take a civic skills course as proposed by Nader if it were offered at Whitman. While she views theory as an important aspect of politics, she thinks that it would be helpful to know how to actually put it into practice. “We have spent so much time on theory and what should be done, not on what we can do and how to implement it,” said Kight. Sophomore Yonas Fikak would be interested in taking a civic skills course as well. He likes the idea of a class that would teach people how to be involved. “If you do not know how to be involved in it and make a change, it is almost useless to learn how the system functions,” said Fikak. Alumus Caelob Henry ‘06 thinks

that implementation of theory should be a component of many types of classes, not just politics. Instead of writing papers, students could work on applying the theory outside of the classroom. Andrew Geasland, a Walla Walla resident, attended one of Nader’s presidential campaign speeches and noted that while many people are dissatisfied with what is happening in the government, they do not know how to act on their concerns. “It is good for him to bring [civic involvement] up in the context of how people can affect change,” said Geasland. According to the Whitman Events Board Lectures Director, sophomore Charlie Weems, the goal of bringing Nader to campus was to have a wellknown speaker at Whitman. “Recently we’ve been trying to do a big push towards getting a larger-name speaker that people will recognize to come to campus,” he said. Weems noted that another goal of bringing Nader to campus was to boost applications and to get recognition for Whitman. He was also hoping to promote WEB’s involvement in campus activites, as it is a new organization this year. “We’re hoping to get people to realize that [WEB is] doing our job alright

and that we are pretty active on campus,” he said. There are many difficulties with bringing such a famous speaker to Whitman. Given the limited flight options into Walla Walla, Nader had to fly to Spokane; he then drove to Walla Walla. Another challenge is that most speakers will not do a “one-out,” where they travel directly to the location of the speech, because it is a relatively remote location. Whitman needed to look for speakers that were on tour in the area so that transportation to Walla Walla was easier. Nader will be speaking at Evergreen State College on Friday, May 6, so he was already going to be in the area. WEB was concerned that Nader would not want to stay in the area for the two-day gap between his Whitman visit and his engagement at Evergreen, yet this was not a problem. Nader will spend part of Thursday, May 6, visiting environmental studies classes. In a press conference before his speech on Wednesday, Nader said he was impressed with the number of resources many liberal arts schools have dedicated to solving environmental problems. “If where you go to school is your laboratory for green activities, you’re going to be a different person when you graduate,” he said.

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FEATURE

May 6, 2010M

Summer Lovin’ It might be 50 degrees, but summer is (hopefully) on its way. This week in Feature, we’ve compiled the ultimate guide to the summer season at Whitman and beyond. If you’re planning to stay in Walla Walla this summer, a summer reading list for any occasion and a look at the best swimming spots around will take the edge off the sweaty days. As Reading Day approaches, a history of the hallowed tradition that is the Whitman beer mile will help prepare you for the big day. Whatever study break you need, we have plenty of ways to avoid getting any real work done this finals season. SLOANE

Students In official beer mile, fierce rivalry persists plan break on-campus by AMY CHAPMAN Staff Reporter

FENNELL David Friedman ‘11 plans to remodel his Walla Walla home this summer.

by HADLEY JOLLEY Staff Reporter

Recently, junior David Friedman and his mother bought a house in Walla Walla in order to rent it out. This summer, he plans to live in the house and oversee some remodeling, while working as a research assistant to Chair of History David Schmitz. “Most of this has been my project. I’ve really wanted to do this since I was a freshman, and I’ve been bugging my parents,” he said. Friedman is one of many Whitman students who will be staying in Walla Walla over the summer for various reasons, most related to research or work. Another student who plans to stay in Walla Walla over the summer is first-year Shanglun Wang, who also has a job as a research assistant. He will be researching ways to make companies more likely to buy end-pipe technologies that reduce waste output in factories. Not all students who are staying in Walla Walla made the decision to stay because of a job, however. Senior Joanna Jungerman plans to do AmeriCorps in the fall. Since she’s already paying for her house in Walla Walla, she feels that she might as well use it. “My job situation for the summer is kind of up in the air right now; I am waiting on interviews and such,” said Jungerman in an e-mail. If a summer job doesn’t work out, she plans to volunteer regularly. Of course, not all the time these students spend in Walla Walla will be spent working, and some students have more planned than others. Many students are concerned about finding activities to occupy their free time, worrying that a long, hot summer in Walla Walla could be stifling. “I’ll be trying to keep myself from going insane. I hear it gets pretty desolate. Either I’ll find some other job, keep myself busy with research, or I’ll use some of the facilities here that are going to be active,” said Wang. Mobility is also a concern for Wang, as he does not have a car and his bike was stolen recently. To fill his free time, Friedman plans to explore the mountains and other natural areas around Walla Walla, as well as socialize with other Whitman students. “What I’ve heard from people who’ve stayed here over the summer is that there’s usually a small group of Whitman students who stay, and because it’s so small, everybody just wants to get together . . . even if you don’t know people, there’s going to be a community of people who didn’t know each other necessarily, but really want to hang out, because they’re out in Eastern Washington for the entire summer,” he said. For Jungerman, staying in Walla Walla is not a new experience. She agrees that spending a summer in Walla Walla is not as bad as many students expect. “I stayed in Walla Walla two summers ago and I actually like it here, although in the summer is really hot,” she said.

“When spring rolls around, it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue,” said senior Curtis Reid. He’s talking, of course, not about graduation, post-grad or summer plans or the crucial assignments that loom over finals week. Instead, Reid refers to one of Whitman’s most respected, time honored, traditions: the beer mile. The Beer Mile The beer mile is known predominantly throughout campus as the epic night before Reading Day when Whitties shed their inhibitions and their clothing (often with the help of silly costumes, group reinforcement and of course, at least four guzzled cans of liquid courage), and run around Ankeny. However, the origins of this unique event lie deep in the dusty annals of cross country history, and in the lesser known, “official” beer mile that continues to be held by the aforementioned team today. Elias Asch, Whitman Alum ’08, holds the secret to this rich history. “We (we being the Beer Mile Committee/Charter) claim the Whitman Beer Mile started in 1989; we do this because the event moved onto campus in 1990, but the round number just doesn’t sound as good as the one ending in ‘89,” said Asch in an e-mail. “However, before that it had become kind of a senior tradition (started by, of course, the cross country team), on the night before reading day, to go out to the Martin Field Track and do something similar to what we now do on campus during Beer Mile—drink, get naked, run around, cause general

mayhem,” said Asch. The cross country team’s free-spirited shenanigans escalated, and finally initiated the change of location from the city track to the college quad. “This event officially got out of hand when Whitman administrators were informed of the event by the Walla Walla police department—this was in 1989. It was then subtly suggested by the admins to a few of the event ringleaders that if the event were to be moved onto campus,

the cross country team continue to meet with the administration prior to the big event in order to get a thumbs up and go over the general rules. This year, the job will fall to Reid. “I was surprised when, my freshman year, [’07 alumnus] Sam Clark was like, ‘We have our meeting with the dean about beer mile.’ I thought, ‘Really, you meet with the dean! And they say

okay?!! It shows a true Whittieness that’s really

SLOANE

there was a p r e t t y good chance the Ankeny F i e l d lights would go off, security would not bust people’s balls and no one would get, like, arrested or anything. So that’s how that happened,” said Asch. To this day, representatives from

original to Whitman College: to have this freedom,” said Reid laughingly. The Official Beer Mile However, under the radar of the administration, and unknown to a large portion of the student body, the “official beer mile” continues to occur. This competitive beer mile occurs ei-

ther the same day or a few days before the beer mile and consists basically of members of the Whitman cross country team. In the official beer mile, the thrill of nudity is replaced with competition (usually). In two heats, men’s and women’s, the runners must chug a beer and run a lap four times consecutively, with extra laps accrued for vomiting; a stopwatch records it all, and records are maintained, broken and kept for posterity. “There’s a lot of pride circling around the official beer mile and breaking the record,” Reid said, which, to those unfamiliar with the adrenaline rush of the race, seems typically ironic. “It sounds pretty Whitman to me, taking something with the context of being drunk and fun and turning it into a competition,” said senior Laurel Sarfan. The current records were set in a thrilling series of races during Reid’s freshman year of 2007. While yours truly holds the women’s, breaking the previous 11 minute record with a time of 9:20, the drama of competition surged most obviously in the men’s race. After a year of increasingly contentious shit-talking, senior alums Sam Clarke ’07 and Sam Johnson ’07 went nose to nose and guzzle to guzzle for all four laps; the tension of the win seemed impossible to placate or predict as Johnson would throw down a beer and surge ahead, only to have Clarke hastily catch him at the heels. This continued for the required four laps until, in an unprecedented show of strength and determination, Johnson dominated the last 400 meters, bringing the winning record to an astonishing time of 6:00 flat that remains untouched by current competitors to this day.

Walla Walla swimming holes offer cheap way to cool down this season

The weather is shaping up, albeit erratically, for swim season. Walla Walla is soon to be sweltering, so in preparation for Camp Whitman and for all those staying in town over the summer, here’s a rundown on local swimming spots. Staff Reporter

ommended as the trail from the railroad tracks down to the river is steep.

Bennington Lake

Walla Walla River

by JENNY WILLIS

A U.S. Army Corps of Engineers project, Bennington Lake is about four miles east of Walla Walla. The lake is open year-round for day use and is stocked with rainbow trout in the spring. It gets pretty scuzzy later in the summer, but is a decent body of water all the same.

Palouse Falls

About an hour and half north of Walla Walla. For the best swimming head to the overlook area and then continue along the railroad tracks upstream along a little trail to the right of the train tracks. Keep your eyes peeled for some rapids to your right, called Little Palouse Falls. “You can swim at the base of the falls, and if you’re very adventuresome, you can find some small concavities behind the falls to relax out of sight,” said Luke Sanford, a Whitman ‘09 alum, in an e-mail. For slower water and cliff jumping, walk from Little Palouse Falls a ways downstream. Decent footwear is rec-

An excellent swimming hole can be found outside of Milton Freewater: Drive to the south side of town and head towards Harris Country Park, taking a left at the Harris Park sign. After several miles you’ll come to a fork, where you’ll take the South Fork Walla Walla River Road. Continue on this road and you’ll cross two bridges, and the river bends under the second creating a deep swimming hole and sand bar. There’s another good spot on a fork of the Walla Walla. Head past the Whitman Mission to the Walla Walla River and pull over on the left just after crossing the bridge. “A short hike through some undergrowth (less than one minute) brings you to a more secluded swimming spot that isn’t very deep, but has a nice gravel bar to lay out on, and the water quality is better at this point than many of the other options,” said Sanford.

The Travel Lodge Five dollars an

hour

for

non-

guests and located a few minutes from campus on East Main St. Also accessible by stealth come the wee hours, though I’m hardly sanctioning that.

Our pool

Ya know, right on campus.

Lakum Duckum

“Gross, but it’s been done. People usually tend to opt for floating mattresses and such to minimize contact with the water. Or if you lose a disc,” said Sanford.

Hunter Fountain

The fountain in front of Hunter. A good spot for a quick dip many a summer evening and a sight cleaner than the one behind the library.

Walla Walla Cliffs

The cliffs range from 10 to 30 feet in height, but water depth fluctuates seasonally and spinal injuries are not unheard of, so take it easy. To get there take 12 West and exit to the left just before the 12 crosses the Walla Walla River, then drive for

less than a mile and watch for a pull off on the right. Decent shoes are also a good idea, as the climb out of the river is a bit rocky. “This place almost always has other people from the area on hot afternoons, and they are almost always friendly. I’ve had Bud Lights offered [to me] on multiple occasions,” said Sanford.

Tri-Cities

Headed to the Tri-Cities airport and fancy a pre-flight dip? Then take the last exit before the bridge over the Snake River and you’ll find a little park with a decent swimming area.

Pool Mooching

And you can always make friends with people with pools. Some student’s families get rental houses with pools for graduation, so be sure to be friends with the right seniors, and a couple of the winery families have private pools you might be able to charm your way into. Lastly a good kiddie pool can do wonders on a hot day. Something like seven dollars and access to a garden hose, and you’re set. ALDEN

FEATURE

0May 6, 2010

Students shun relaxation; opt to serve, learn by BECKY NEVIN Staff Reporter

While many Whitman students will be traveling home for the summer months to work a summer job or simply relax with friends, others will be setting off in search of an unconventional summer experience. Whitties will be participating in internships, study abroad programs and community service projects that take them far from home. Why did they decide to spend their summers in such a daring way? Sophomore Lizzy Schiller will be studying in Costa Rica in the cloud forests of Monteverde from June to August. For Schiller, a summer trip offers a study abroad experience without the time commitment away from Whitman. “I decided to study abroad in Costa Rica for the summer because I knew that I wanted to do some type of study abroad experience but I also knew that I didn’t want to study abroad in the school year and miss out on one of the eight semesters at Whitman,” said Schiller. Schiller discovered this program during Thanksgiving break when she was looking through study abroad pamphlets and instantly fell in love. “While it is a summer abroad program for biology majors, and I am not a biology major, I mainly wanted to do it because it sounded like an amazing way to spend most of my summer: studying bio, backpacking and experiencing the Costa Rican culture,” said Schiller.

Schiller will be completing an independent study that is focused on either biology or ecology, taking additional courses, living with a Costa Rican family for a few weeks and backpacking through the rainforests of Costa Rica. Schiller stresses that although studying abroad has appealed to her, she doesn’t believe that this sort of opportunity is perfect for everyone. “I feel like there’s this strong push at Whitman centered around studying abroad, and if you don’t study abroad during your college career then you’re missing out on something . . . But really, it’s up to the individual,” said Schiller. First-year Emma Newton will also be starting an independent study program in Kenya this summer. She will be in Kenya for 20 days working at the Humble Heart School for the Deaf. For Newton, choosing Kenya as a destination was a no-brainer. “I love it and I have the opportunity to go so I took it,” she said. Newton heard of the trip through a family friend who had an extra spot. She will be participating in the program alongside graduate students. “I’m going to be doing things like working in the classroom, building things, painting, doing construction work but also working with the kids and playing with them,” said Newton. Last of all, Newton will be going to the Amboseli nature reserve to go on a safari under the shadow of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Sophomore Alethea Buchal will also be helping out at a school, but she will be in Mexico City. “I have been given an amazing opportunity to live in Mexico City for six weeks this summer teaching English to 6-16 year olds and volunteering for World Vision, Amextra and Armonia,” said Buchal. Buchal will be staying with a family in a poverty-stricken neighborhood in Mexico City. She is not certain that she will have electricity, but this doesn’t dampen her enthusiasm. According to Buchal, World Vision believes in allowing volunteers to experience poverty and grow from it. ”I know that this experience will open my eyes to see the world and my place in it completely differently,” said Buchal. Buchal has been feeling a strong connection to Mexico and Latin America because Latin American subculture is such an important part of American culture. “I have been feeling called to Mexico specifically for several years now and it’s amazing that this opportunity presented itself this summer,” said Buchal.

SLOANE Buchal came across this opportunity through Whitman Christian Fellowship. She is currently in the process of raising funds for her journey. “If anyone has piles of cash lying around . . . give it to Alethea,” she said.

Summer reading list perfect for any situation by CHRISTINE TEXEIRA AND REBECCA BRIGHT Book Reviewer and Feature Editor

Now that you're free from homework and any sense of responsibility, you have all the time in the world to read a nontextbook that is thrilling, beautiful or sexy. We've compiled a list of summer reading suggestions, divided into sections so that you can select the perfect book for your mood or occasion.

min Linus peruses "Ulysses" while on the Ajira Airlines flight back to the Island. “The Interrogative Mood” by Padgett Powell If you miss the exhaustion that comes with things left unanswered, you’ll appreciate this book composed entirely of questions.

Books to fill the "LOST" void As graduation approaches, so too does the end of television phenomenon "LOST." Those that are dedicated to the show will certainly experience a sense of withdrawal that may eventually result in unsafe, obsessive behavior. So, instead of trying to act out all your unfulfilled "LOST" fantasies, read something that will help the process of rehabilitation. “Four Past Midnight” by Stephen King Really, just read the story “The Langoliers,” which involves an airplane, alternate dimensions and a downright eerie airport. As an added bonus, this really short story has more closure than the first five seasons of "LOST" combined. “Point Omega” by Don DeLillo Like "LOST," DeLillo’s work tends to be pretty cryptic, which pisses some readers off and entrances others. In this new work, DeLillo takes a political topic— the war in Iraq—and uses it to muse on some huge, human ideas like the nature of time and death. Also, at only 117 pages, it won’t take you six years to navigate. “Our Mutual Friend” by Charles Dickens or “Ulysses” by James Joyce Sure, these are classics, and tough as anything to get through. But by giving them a shot, you can feel at one with the friends you have lost by reading the books they enjoyed. Desmond Hume plans that "Our Mutual Friend" will be the last book he ever reads, and Benja-

“The Interrogative Mood” by Padgett Powell, 176 pages

Books to impress your significant other’s parents Do your research beforehand so that you know the parents’ leanings in any direction, then make the appropriate choices from the books below. If necessary, read them all—it’s likely that they’ll disagree with whatever you say, so know all the alternatives. First, books to please the politico parent, no matter on which side of the aisle they sit. “The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barack Obama” by David Remnick In this new book about the President’s formative years, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist David Remnick explores the people and forces that have shaped Obama’s presidency. If the parents still

have half-faded McCain/Palin stickers cemented to their car bumpers, keep this one in the closet. OR: “Spoken from the Heart” by Laura Bush Laura Bush’s memoir describes her early years, from growing up in Texas to her marriage to middle-school classmate George W. Bush, to the White House during the days following 9/11. This autobiography was released Tuesday, May 4, so keeping it out will impress visitors not only because of heartwarming content, but also your ability to stay on top of the political memoir scene. If religion or atheism is important to your significant other's parents, then chances are they will find it important in you. Just remember not to commit yourself too far one way—you could blow it with a weak attempt to prove God’s existence or a half-remembered witticism about genes or evolution. “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins Since it was released in 2008, this has become something of a classic for readers out to challenge religion. Although it can be a big hit with an appropriately atheist audience, tread with caution when discussing this one with your significant other's parents. OR: “The Dawkins Delusion?” by Alister E. McGrath and Joanna Collicut McGrath In this answer to Dawkins’ proposal that God cannot exist, the authors use the history of religion, as well as a scientific background—McGrath was first a microbiologist—to refute Dawkins’ arguments point-by-point. If the in-laws ask you to say grace before digging in to a meal, this might be the right choice. Lastly, a classic: “Moby Dick, or The Whale” by Herman Melville Skim, skim, skim . . . read the badass last chapter . . . leave it on your coffee table and answer any question with, “That reminds me of Queequeg’s coffin.”

Jump on the bandwagon books There has been a general consensus that certain books are good and worth reading. These are some of those. Don’t be ashamed to listen to people who probably know what they’re talking about. “Tinkers” by Paul Harding Winner of the 2010 Pullitzer Prize for Fiction. “Wolf Hall” by Hilary Mantel Winner of the 2009 Man Booker Prize and the 2009 National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction. “Versed” by Rae Armantrout Winner of the 2010 Pullitzer Prize for Poetry.

“Dominic: The Lords of Satry” by Elizabeth Amber, 256 pages

Books to read and then tell absolutely no one that you did Everyone has guilty pleasures, so don’t feel too embarrassed about reading any of these books. But make sure you don’t leave them where people will notice. “Dominic: The Lords of Satyr” by Elizabeth Amber In the “paranormal romance” genre, this one’s a classic. Filled with genuine

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if nonhuman characters, it is a journey of the heart and mind, as well as . . . other body parts. It’s chock full of sex. This is one of a series concerning brothers who are powerfully potent at ‘Moonful’ and feel compelled by a duty to sire heirs with their Faerie brides. “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” by Seth Grahame-Smith You snub your nose at it, but sometimes a good dose of vampire really is good for the spirit. This book argues that the Civil War had little to do with slavery and everything to do with the supernatural. On a side note, if you type “Abraham Lincoln” into an Amazon search, this is the first option that pops up. “Harry Potter” by J.K. Rowling All seven—for the seventh time. Race your other unemployed friends.

Books of the future These books do not yet exist. But you’ll probably enjoy them when they do. “The Pregnant Widow” by Martin Amis (May 11) The new novel from the British writer focuses on what he does best—sexuality, obsession and class resentment. “Super Sad True Love Story” by Gary Shteyngart (July 27) It’s in the name. This love story is set in a near-future America where immortality is available to the rich and books are known as “printed, bound media artifacts.” Indulge in your loneliness this summer, inside and alone with this book. “The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake” by Aimee Bender (June 1) In this book, a girl discovers that, when eating everyday food items, she can taste the emotions of the cook who made them. Aimee Bender has been called a “spelunker of the human soul.” If you take anything from Aimee Bender, let it be her innate talent to totally spelunk your soul.

A&E

The Pioneer ISSUE 13 MAY 6, 2010 Page 6

BOOK REVIEW

CONCERT PREVIEW

Campus charged for â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Almost Silentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; speaks Los Campesinos, No volumes on love, zombies Age concert tonight Book Reviewer

by ANDREW HALL Music Reviewer

If today is May 6 and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still 2010, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in luck. Los Campesinos! and No Age are performing in Reid Ballroom this evening and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really in your best interest to see them. First up will be No Age. They consist of a drummer/singer, Dean Spunt, and a guitarist, Randy Randall. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re from Los Angeles, and this will be one of a handful of shows they play before the release of their second album for Sub Pop later this year. Theirs is a particularly tuneful brand of noise pop, and they take a number of reference pointsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; the Ramones, HĂźsker DĂź, Bad Brains, Psychic TV, among othersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and process them through a cavalcade of loops and effects, but the results are astoundingly tuneful. Yes, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re loud, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re fast, and there are only two of them, but for how dense and textured it is, their music is relentlessly melodic. Their most recent release, an EP called Losing Feeling, saw No Age stray further from lo-fi in favor of bigger production and more diverse song structures, yielding two of their strongest pop songs yet. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clear that their next album is going to be hugely exciting, and this preview of that material isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t something youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to get again anytime soon. Seek out: ti-PTJOH 'FFMJOHw BOE i:PV SF B 5BSHFUw from the Losing Feeling EP ti5FFO $SFFQTw BOE i&SBTFSw GSPN Nouns ti.Z -JGF T "MSJHIU 8JUIPVU :PVw GSPN Weirdo Rippers Los Campesinos! consists of eight people, all with last names CampesiOPT (BSFUI ,JN &MMFO )BSSJFU 5PN

Neil, Ollie, Rob â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sparky Deathcap.â&#x20AC;? They GPSNFE JO $BSEJÄ&#x152; 8BMFT JO XFSF opening for Broken Social Scene and playing Lollapalooza within a year, and by early 2008 had released their debut, Hold On Now, Youngsterâ&#x20AC;Ś, which they followed up within 10 months with the album-length EP We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed. Their early material took on a number of reference points, like PaveNFOU NPTU PG UIF , 3FDPSET SPTUFS BOE Sufjan Stevens, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve since gone on to develop something wholly their own and far more compelling in a shockingly short period of time. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re currently touring behind Romance is Boring, their most ambitious statement yet. Their songs sport huge arrangements; youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll see guitars, drums, bass, glockenspiel, synthesizer, violin, often all moving simultaneously to drive Garethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s narratives, as devastating as they are hilarious, referential and joyous. In the live setting, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re unbelievably high-energy, and the new material is an onslaught of choruses that works far better than it has any right to. Seek out: ti:PV .F %BODJOH w GSPN Hold On Now, Youngsterâ&#x20AC;Ś ti.JTFSBCJMJBw BOE i*U T /FWFS Ä&#x2021;BU &BTZ *T *U 4POH GPS UIF 0UIFS ,VSU w GSPN We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed ti3PNBODF JT #PSJOH w iÄ&#x2021;F 4FB JT B Good Place to Think of the Futureâ&#x20AC;? from Romance is Boring And be excited. This is going to be the best show weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had in some time. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be more coverage, like interviews with both bands, some photos and a write-up in the grad issue, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really in your best interest to see them.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Almost Silent,â&#x20AC;? released last month from Fantagraphics Books in Seattle, is certainly silent with almost no dialogue, but Jason captures an impressive reality that is not hidden or hindered by unnecessary words undermining the importance of action. Jason, or John Arne SĂŚterĂ¸y, is a Norwegian cartoonist whose works have received praise across Europe and America. This collection contains four of Jasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s currently out-of-print novels from the last decade. I am in no way an expert on comics, but it is my assumption that not everyone is, so I put this to those who do not already know but are itching to get startedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Jason is a good place to begin. Starting off the collection is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Meow, Babyâ&#x20AC;? (2006), a series of short, one or two page strips that usually end with a satisfying joke and always contain some element of popular culture to get the gag rolling. The plight of a vampire, a mummy with an erection, Elvis and Jesus all appear and reappear throughout these strips, taking not only elements of familiarity from television and literature, but also re-working the often stereotypical (but always fascinating) elements of classic comic suspense. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Meow, Babyâ&#x20AC;? is a thorough introduction to the anthropomorphic characters that Jason usesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;tall, thin and usually dogs or birds that differ only slightly in snout or beak. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tell Me Somethingâ&#x20AC;? from 2004 features a tragic romance broken apart by family, class and circumstance. It is mainly a love story, but like any good love story is also composed of deception, suspense and murder. A pickpocket happens across a photograph of his lost love and is thrown into a memory set apart from present day by black pages. Our sympathetic pickpock-

12 STONES: Originally-titled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rejected OneActs Festivalâ&#x20AC;? to feature student works ď?Śď?˛ď?Żď? page 1 remained enigmatic. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to give too much away,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all very different, both in the style of performance and the script itself. There are some short films as well.â&#x20AC;? In addition to his role as producer of the festival, Pratt will act in at least one production, and will have his work produced. The Blank by Blank festival was originally conceived as the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rejected OneActs Festival,â&#x20AC;? according to senior and 12 Stones co-founder Ian Jagel. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The idea came from the fact that the one acts get roughly 20 submissions a year and then they pick three to be produced,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot of work thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not getting made that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t getting done usually, so we just wanted to create a vehicle so that people can produce work that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve written.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;And also potentially a vehicle for people who have work they want to ex1

hibit thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not necessarily narrative performance based work,â&#x20AC;? said senior and 12 Stonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; other co-founder, Peter Richards. The name of the festival, Blank by Blank, was a placeholder name that stuck. It was expected that once submissions were received that the festival would be renamed according to the number of plays and the length of each play, such as the Ten by Ten festival which would feature 10 10-minute plays. i8F FOEFE VQ LFFQJOH UIF OBNF #MBOL by Blank because it really symbolized what the festival was about, just taking what we were given,â&#x20AC;? said Pratt. The festival quickly moved past simply producing rejected one-acts to producing almost anything anyone wanted to be turned into performance. i8F TFOU PVU B CVODI PG F NBJMT BOE talked to a lot of different groups and asked them for performance pieces,â&#x20AC;? said Pratt, describing the process of soliciting XPSL UP CF QSPEVDFE i8F TBJE XF E BDDFQU 7

24 27

44 48

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Almost Silentâ&#x20AC;? by Jason; Fantagraphics Books, 2010; Hardcover, 302 pages

A horror-love-story of sorts, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get There From Hereâ&#x20AC;? (2004) focuses on Frankensteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sexually-frustrated monster and the miserable love triangle that forms when Frankenstein himself, falls for his monsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new undead love. Also featured is a side story on the banality of being the assistant to a mad scientist, though the jobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s predictability is quickly eradicated. And finally, zombies make their glorious appearance in â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Living and the Deadâ&#x20AC;? (2007). A chance meeting between a dishwasher and a prostitute sparks a connection that must unfortunately develop in the midst of an impending zombie takeover. My favorite of the collection, the

zombies are easily distinguishable by eyes alone and despite their undeniable hunger for organs they take a backseat to the primary story of man and woman, struggling to survive and maybe kiss somewhere along the way. Jasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s characters are simply drawn and almost completely mute within their respective panels. The consistency of the frames within the storyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;always straightedged squaresâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;shows an unbelievable control over the characters and events passing from box to box. Jason spoke about his style: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a more minimalistic style, where itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost right on the edge of being boring. There can be poetry in those kinds of images.â&#x20AC;? A deadpan humor prevails over each and every story, whether touching or thrilling, including each short strip in â&#x20AC;&#x153;Meow, Baby.â&#x20AC;? Jason is accessible for any comic beginners and an example of remarkable discipline and pacing for even the most well-read. Despite the simplicity of each page and within each individual characterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appearance, there is a surprising amount that is said with their eyes; eyes that are, in the most pressing times simple Xs, but primarily empty ovals, black or white, and seem more of an absence than a presence of vision. These eyes, in their complete emptiness, get at that deadpan humor while somehow still seeming to truly convey emotion and intention. The beauty of comics, and especially â&#x20AC;&#x153;Almost Silent,â&#x20AC;? is all that is left unsaid both between and within panels. Jason cites Hemingway as one of those minimalist authors of influence for his own work. Perhaps the story lines are not groundbreaking, but they are often hilarious and always sincere; Jason does without words what many writers try to accomplish with thousands.

SHOW OF THE WEEK

Ready? GO! Radio is a two-hour, live mix of the most popular and best dance, electronic and top-40 songs that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find playing at dance clubs all over the country and the world. DJ Duo Graham Toben and Chris Barton DJ parties on campus together as the Indestructible Space Hampsters, each DJ for an hour live, taking requests and playing their favorites in a mix thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never the same each week.

on music blogs. A sample is:

Our playlist contains a dynamic collection of songs that we either mix live or remixes we find

-JTUFO JO 8FEOFTEBZ Q N POMZ PO ,8$8 '. 4USFBN online at kwcw.net.

t i* N *O .JBNJ #BSCBSB 4USFisandâ&#x20AC;? (LMFAO vs. Duck Sauce Mashup) by DJ Graham Toben t i)FZ 4PVM 4JTUFS ,BSNBUSPOJD Edit)â&#x20AC;? by Train t i-JUUMF 4FDSFUT 'FMJY %B )PVTFcat Remix)â&#x20AC;? by Passion Pit t i#SFBL :PVS )FBSU 8JEFCPZT Edit)â&#x20AC;? by Taio Cruz t i4PMP $BIJMM $MVC .JY w CZ Iyaz

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Puzzlemaster

by KARL WALLULIS

anything, even recipesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t limit it to just plays.â&#x20AC;? The casting process was similarly inclusive. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The people who showed interest, we cast them,â&#x20AC;? said Pratt. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Literally, there wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t anyone who showed interest who didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get cast. Then the people who showed interest in being directors got to be directors.â&#x20AC;? Although the indiscriminate nature of the festival was one of its intentions, Pratt was surprised by how easily its participantsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;writers, directors and actorsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; were accommodated. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I guess what surprised me is how nicely itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s come together, because usually when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing something like this a lot of people are handpickedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;you know, someone says, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I wrote this piece and I want this person to direct it,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; as in the case of the One-Act Play Contest, but this all sort of came together and I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s coming together very well.â&#x20AC;?

et finds his love in an abusive relationship and addicted to cocaine, and proceeds through a number of thrilling obstacles to keep her close. The only dialogue inhabits entire panels as silent-movie-style interruptions that resonate between the simple portraits of speaker and recipient.

KWCW

by CHRISTINE TEXEIRA

ACROSS 1. Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t play fair 7. Mountain that Noah landed on 13. Moses parted it 14. Lunar Space ___ (PUUFO PVU PG CFE 16. Sacred text of Zoroastrianism ,JOE PG FMFDUSPNBHOFUJD SBEJBUJPO (Abbr.) 18. Tennessee, e.g. 20. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theirâ&#x20AC;? en francais 21. Ceramic oven 23. Exist 24. Charizardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s elemental type 1SFQBSF BT WFHFUBCMFT 27. Part of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Survivorâ&#x20AC;? motto iÄ&#x2021;F 4FWFO @@@w ,VSPTBXB Ä&#x2022;MN

31. Brings to life 34. Home ___ 38. Beelzebubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s abode

)PSSPS NPWJF GSBODIJTF 41. Holding a grudge 42. An antibody 43. The worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fastest-growing religion 5VSO PVU

46. Jar fly 48. Prometheus and Epimetheusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; race 0OF XBZ UP GPME B TIFFU PG QBQFS #FHJO UP BQQFBS 4IPF T CPUUPN 0XOFE UFNQPSBSJMZ %08/ 1. Shows strain 2. Recluse 3. Like non-poisonous mushrooms 4. Proverbially stupid animal (PMGFS T BDDFTTPSJFT 6. Old St. Nick 7. Like some porn 8. Bushâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brain 4VNNFS ESJOL

0OF TJEF JO UIF $PME 8BS 11. Modifies the appearance of 12. It may contain a samovar 4UBUF PG CFJOH UVSOFE PO 22. Certain body cavity 24. Takes to the skies 8SFTUMFS T TVSGBDF 8FF CJU 30. Bottle contents? 31. Swank 32. The Pacific Northwest, e.g. 33. Votes in .BOZ B 8BSIPM XPSL 8JMMJBN PG @@@ 37. Ready to spring 40. It has a pH of zero 43. Singer Billy 44. Marcel Marceauâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s profession 47. Ruckus 1FSGFDU OVNCFS To see answers to last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s puzzle, visit whitmanpioneer.com

SONG

A&E

The Pioneer ISSUE 13 MAY 6, 2010 Page 7

SUMMER MUSIC FESTIVALS ROCK THE NATION To help Whitman students as they escape the monotony of the Walla Walla music scene this summer, we’ve compiled this guide to summer music festivals by GRANT BRADLEY, Staff Reporter Lollapalooza

The juggernaut of music festivals this summer undoubtedly remains Lollapalooza. Originally conceived of as a farewell tour for the band Jane’s Addiction, Lollapalooza has morphed into a nationally touring festival showcasing alternative music and media and, in its latest incarnation, into a three-day blitzkrieg of phenomenal music on the shores of Lake Michigan in Chicago’s Grant Park. Presenting a dizzying array of artists ranging from the Strokes, Phoenix, Arcade Fire and Devo to Grizzly Bear, Gogol Bordello and Lady Gaga, not to mention the dozens of other bands and performers, this year’s Lollapalooza is certainly an experience and a half. If you ever find yourself in the Windy City on the weekend of August 6-8, don’t hesitate for a second to participate in this gargantuan event.

Sasquatch

And of course, there’s always the darling of the Pacific Northwest summer music scene, the Sasquatch Music Festival. The brainchild of Seattlebased concert promoter Adam Zacks, Sasquatch picked up the latest wave of regional music festivals when it first started coming to the beautiful and awe-inspiring Gorge Amphitheater in 2002. The gorgeous views of the Columbia River aren’t the only reason to make the two and half hour drive from Walla Walla: This year’s lineup of Vampire Weekend, OK Go, Kid Cudi, Passion Pit, MGMT and a whole lot more offer an amazing musical mélange this coming Memorial Day Weekend.

Lilith Fair

Created by singers Sarah McLachlan and Paula Cole in 1997, the Lilith Fair Music Festival Tour showcases the talents of some of the biggest female performers of the day. McLachlan, disgruntled at the music establishment’s trend of never booking or playing two major female performers back to back, founded the event in order to draw attention to women in the industry and to provide a venue with loads of great artists. Although the festival petered out before the dawn of the 21st century, Lilith Fair has come back for a 2010 revival. Featuring artists like Erykah Badu, Heart, Rihanna, Queen Latifah, Sheryl Crow and Norah Jones, you’d be hard put to miss Lilith Fair on its summer-long tour of the United States and Canada.

High Sierra

For all of you Whitties from the Golden State who lamented the conflict between attending school and missing out on the Treasure Island Music Festival and Coachella, there still remains a glimmer of hope. This Fourth of July weekend will mark the 20th anniversary of the founding of the High Sierra Music Festival. Originally conceived of by a group of guys and gals looking for a good summer music venue in Northern California, way back when nearly all of us students were still in swaddling clothes, High Sierra’s rural location in Quincy, Calif. still attracts quite the bevy of quality artists. The Avett Brothers, Ozomatli, Blitzen Trapper and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, to name a few, will all be trekking to the foothills of the Sierra Nevada to make an appearance. There are certainly few better ways to celebrate the birth of the United States than listening to some of the grooviest upand-coming bands American culture has to offer.

Bonnaroo

WOLFF

Free Press Summerfest

While a lot of these music festivals seem to cluster around the West Coast and Midwest, the South manages to carve out its own niche for a great music venue with the Free Press Summerfest in Houston, Texas. Organized by Free Press Houston, a local independent newspaper, Summerfest is a recent member of the national summer festival scene. From June 5-6, Houston’s Eleanor Tinsley Park will be the venue for acts like the Flaming Lips, Girl Talk and the wonderfully named Municipal Waste. For only $30, too, this two-day event is a steal for seeing great local and national artists.

Bonnaroo has provided one of the premier music festivals east of the Mississippi ever since it popped up in 2002. Located on a 700-acre farm in Manchester, Tenn., this year’s music and arts festival not only is hosting a wide variety of groups like Kings of Leon, Jay-Z, Stevie Wonder, the Flaming Lips, Weezer and Dave Matthews Band. There’s also independent cinema, comedians like Conan O’Brien and Aziz Ansari and loads of events and activities like the Silent Disco, where participants all receive a set of headphones that wirelessly sync with a live DJ, allowing tuckered out festival-goers some peace and quiet and giving the eerie appearance of a bunch of people seemingly dancing to no music at all. This rocking festival’s dates are fast approaching (June 10-13), but it isn’t too late to head to the Volunteer State for some musical action.

Whitties escape Walla Walla, hit summer concerts Are you finding yourself anxious about those inevitable summer doldrums? Are you looking for the adventure of a lifetime to spice up the monotony of a summer job or internship? You’re not alone. This summer, Whitman students will flock to the nation’s best music festivals and concerts. by CAITLIN HARDEE Staff Reporter

Though Whitman students may be stuck in the library's silent reading room for the next couple weeks, there is a sound at the end of the tunnel— the end of the semester and the start of summer concert season. Before escaping Walla Walla, students will have the opportunity to catch indie band Los Campesinos! with support act No Age tonight, May 6, in Reid. Post-semester, students will scatter across the country, and an infinite range of concert possibilities await. First year Rachel Quednau is intending to hit up Chicago’s legendary music festival Lollapalooza, happening Aug. 6-8 in the Windy City’s Grant Park. Though enthusiastic, Quednau will have to make something of an odyssey to get there from her home city of Minneapolis, Minn. “It’s like an eight hour drive,” she said. Quednau is particularly stoked to see MGMT, but extolled the benefits of the festival environment, which allows attendees to catch a vast range of artists. “It’s nice that you can just pay a certain amount and get to see a bunch of groups,” said Quednau. “And it’s not just the music; there’s food, shirts, stuff like that—and I find that you

discover groups that you didn’t know before, because they just end up being there, and they’re smaller, unheard-of groups, but you just go to their show.” Quednau, who does not have a car during the school year, is ecstatic to be returning to an urban music scene. “I come from a big city, and there’s just music stuff happening all the time. And here, there’s nothing,” she said ruefully. For more information on Lollapalooza and other major festivals, see the map (below, above / whatever). Closer to home, a number of Whitties are waiting enthusiastically to see pop megastar Lady Gaga, appearing S a t u r d a y, Aug. 21, at the Tacoma Dome. Sophomore Mehera Nori gushed over the artist’s impending appearance. “I’m super excited,” said

Nori, who is seeing Gaga in concert for the first time. “I love her.” Nori, who proudly identifies as one of Gaga’s “little monsters,” explained the special qualities the popstar brings to her live shows. “My favorite thing about her is that she’s always performing, and she always puts on a show,” said Nori. “So I’m really excited to see her perform musically, but also to see a show, a performance. Which is nice, because I’ve

been to concerts where it’s just kind of dull, like you see them perform and it’s nice, but it’s a little boring to just watch them onstage.” Sophomore Christa Heavey, also going to see Gaga, concurred. “I just think she’s going to be a really exciting performer and really fun to watch,” said Heavey. “I’m going with a bunch of friends from Seattle.” Heavey is also looking forward to catching the Goo Goo Dolls live in concert, on Sunday, May 30 in Kennewick, Wash. “My sister and I have loved them since we were really young, so it’ll be exciting to finally get to see them play,” said Heavey. For many students, the return to urban settings comes as a relief after months of limited options for musical entertainment. Nori SLOANE e x p r e s s e d

her feelings on Walla Walla’s musical offerings bluntly. “Sad. It’s sad,” she said. “Being from the Seattle area, there’s so many options for musical performances, whether it’s a big performance at a stadium or just a small, local band playing in someone’s basement. We have Coffeehouse here, which is nice, but it’s not the same scene, it’s not the same atmosphere. So it’s really nice to go home for the summer, the music scene’s so much bigger and there’s way more things to see.” Heavey agreed, but was philosophically zen about the college’s musical isolation. “It would be more exciting if there were more concerts,” she said. “But if there is someone I really want to see, Seattle isn’t that far away.” For Whitman students finishing the semester early, 30 Seconds To Mars and Paramore will be playing Seattle venues on Monday, May 10, and Wednesday, May 12, respectively. Other notable musical options coming soon to the Northwest include 3OH!3 and Cobra Starship, Memorial Day Weekend’s dueling festivals of Sasquatch and Folklife, June appearances from Cute Is What We Aim For, Imogen Heap, Jeffree Star, rock gods U2 and visual kei legend Miyavi and August’s annual Warped Tour at the Gorge.

Still in the bubble: Whitties in the Walla Walla bar, club scene by LIZ SIENG Staff Reporter

The Whitman campus generally seems to have a reputation of being an isolated community, but often, this stereotype proves shallow and unwarranted. Recently, The Pioneer set out to see if students who are “of age” break out of the bubble while imbibing at Walla Walla’s local bars. “I think most Whitman students actually aren’t interested in the bars and clubs in Walla Walla,” said senior Katrina Schenck. “I think most Whitties’ social lives center on campus and on parties around campus. Occasionally people will go out and have a drink or two at a bar, but for the most part I don’t think it’s a part of their lives.” Schenck works as a bartender at The Green Lantern on Isaacs Avenue, also known as “The Green,” a popular local hangout for Whitman students and faculty. Schenck said that she made many good contacts with people while on the job, including Whitman professors, students, and many regular visitors from the Walla Walla community. “I think it’s a nice escape from the Whitman bubble,” said Schenck, explaining why students choose to visit local bars and clubs. “It’s nice to go out and eat or get

a drink. It’s nice to leave campus and go out for a bit.” In a campus-wide survey conducted by The Pioneer last week, students showed a limited interest in local bars and clubs. Out of 133 respondents, 37 percent said they visit local bars and clubs once or twice a month and 30 percent said they visit only once or twice a semester. The survey also showed that students overwhelmingly prefer the Green Lantern, which is located just a few blocks up Isaacs Avenue from campus. Out of a list of nine options, students responded with The Green Lantern (73 percent), Millcreek Brewpub (41 percent), The Red Monkey (41 percent), or “None” (20 percent). Additionally, the survey showed that students predominantly hang out with Whitman students (81 percent) or mostly Whitman students and occasionally friends from Walla Walla (23 percent), while few hang out with friends who are from Walla Walla (7 percent), and even fewer try to meet new people in bars (5 percent). Most students go because they “enjoy visiting bars/clubs in town” (66 percent) or are “looking for an alternative to college parties” (61 percent), while fewer go because they “get bored at Whitman

parties” (31 percent) or “have nothing better to do” (25 percent). Senior Alex Thomas said that community atmosphere is a major factor in why students choose not to participate in local bars and clubs. For her advanced filmmaking course this past semester, Thomas helped create a documentary called “The Regulars,” which centers on the bar and karaoke scene in The Golden Horse, a local Chinese restaurant on Ninth Street in Walla Walla. “I think that Whitman knows about [The Golden Horse]; it’s just not the place to go for Whitman students. The only time I’ve seen Whitties there is when I bring my friends,” said Thomas. In researching for the film, Thomas and her co-creator, senior Lara Goodrich, have visited karaoke and bar nights at The Golden Horse four times a week on average. Thomas said that The Golden Horse has a distinct crowd made up of regular local visitors who are in the 40-60s age range. Thomas said that Whitman students can easily become intimidated when entering such a setting. “I feel like unless you care about the place or you’re immersed in the community like we are, there’s more places for a

FENNELL A group of non!students enjoys the ambiance in the Green Lantern. A recent survey showed that an overwhelming majority of Whitman students hang out only with other Whitman students while visiting bars and clubs in town.

college student to go,” said Thomas. In the campus survey, students also commented on the quality of local bars and clubs and their distances from campus as important factors for Whitman students. Respondents expressed distaste for the local bar and club scene and even a desire for an on-campus bar. “It’s established itself as a Whittie bar in some ways,” said Schenck, describing The Green. “I think it’s been around for a

long time, and it’s close in proximity. Also, I’ve been to a fair amount of bars in Walla Walla, and it’s definitely the least sketchy bar.” For now, while factors like traveling distance and community atmosphere hold strong influence over the decisions of Whitman students who visit local bars and clubs, partying outside of campus will continue to exist inside the bubble.

Opinion

The Pioneer ISSUE 13 MAY 6, 2010 Page 8

Easiest ways to waste study time on Internet

Well, it’s that time of the semester again. Finals are right around the corner. Massive papers and tests clogging up your brain? Get some digital palette cleansBLAIR FRANK ers, in the form of Columnist some of the greatest time wasters the Internet has to offer. How easy is it to waste your time on the Internet? Very easy. For those of you who are mostly uninitiated, or just want to find new ways to fool around, here are some big categories to look for. 1. Web Video. I’m going to assume that my readership is, for the most part, acquainted with the wonders of YouTube. With this supremely time-sucking Web site, you can find everything from cats goofing off to things exploding in microwaves to semi-scholarly discussions of the hand removals in “Star Wars.” But there are also some unsung heroes in the world of video on the Web. Netflix offers a free trial for two weeks that provides users with unlimited streaming, as well as DVDs delivered in the mail. Hulu has hours of content available for free (commercial breaks included). But, in case you want to take a break from your “Buffy” marathon, you can turn to: 2. Flash Games. Again, most long-time denizens of the Internet ought to be familiar with such operations as AddictingGames and Armor Games. But, there are a few newcomers to the Internet gaming scene that are worth a look. The first is Kongregate, a gaming portal akin to many others, but in addition to offering a wide range of different games all in one place, a select group also come with “achievements,” which are point rewards for completing in-game objectives. Of course, points mean nothing, but it provides the player with a sense of accomplishment. There’s also OMGPop, which is built entirely around social gaming. Their (rather small) catalog of games are all designed to be played with multiple people, for multiplayer enjoyment. Of course, it’s entirely possible that moving pictures aren’t your

thing. In that case, look no further than: 3. Web Comics. There are a ton of talented artists and writers out there who have found a way to show their stories off to the world via web comics, which are exactly what they sound like—comics, either in a shorter strip form, or a longer more graphic novel-esque approach, distributed via a Web site. Much like the dead-tree comic and graphic novel market these days, there are web comics for everyone. There’s the nerdy standby “XKCD,” which describes itself as “a web comic of romance, sarcasm, math and language,” as well as the gamer-centric “Penny Arcade.” Other paragons of the genre include “Dr. McNinja,” about the exploits of a doctor, who’s also a ninja, and “Questionable Content,” which follows a group of indie/ hipster types in their day-to-day exploits. Of course, if you prefer a more textual approach, you should try reading some: 4. Blogs. Yep, the blog is almost as old as the Internet itself, and the blogosphere, like the universe, is constantly expanding. When it comes to finding the blog for you, it’s really a matter of taste. There are blogs for every single topic in the universe, be it robots or de-

These sites are powered by user submissions of stories that people think are funny, poignant, interesting or stupid. Each story is tracked by popularity, and the most popular ones make it to the front page. Something on either site’s home page that piques your interest is a good place to start your journey into the blogosphere. But suppose you want a magic button that will find things you like without you having to even lift a finger. Such a thing exists . . . It’s called: 5. StumbleUpon. StumbleUpon gets its own category because it is a time waster all to itself. What you do is either go to the Web site or install the toolbar, input a list of things you’re interested in, and click the “Stumble!” button. The algorithms will do the rest, and take you to a site that StumbleUpon thinks you’ll like. As you give feedback in the form of likes and dislikes, StumbleUpon becomes more finely tuned to your interests, and is more likely to suggest things you might like. Once you’ve sunk enough time into your personal profile, it’s possible for StumbleUpon to become a little too good. I have permanently removed StumbleUpon from my browser because the recommendations knew me too well. Eve r y time

IALLO

LOOS-D

bates over cat breeding. Finding something that suits your interest is really a matter of how many Google searches you want to do, but to get on the fast track, there are a few places to check. First, the great crowd-sourced story aggregators Digg and Reddit are good places to start.

I pushed that button, I found something else to put in my own personal Greatest Hits of the Internet collection. Take it from me: A well-tuned StumbleUpon account is your own personal dispenser of e-crack. So, I hope this short primer has given you some ideas to help with your procrastination in this most stressful of times. I’ll see you on the Internet.

Pay your taxes, Tea Party The Tea Party, the intensely conservative populist movement that has so captivated the mainstream media’s attention, was recently surveyed in a CBS/ WILLIAM New York Times WITWER poll. This national Columnist political organization (yes, I am aware that distinctions must be drawn between the local Tea Parties and the national Tea Party) has been instrumental in forcing Republican lawmakers (most notably John McCain, on immigration) to shift their stances on particular policies to more conservative positions in order to help their primary chances. According to the poll, more than 90 percent of the Tea Partiers surveyed think that this country is headed in the wrong direction, and they want to change that by focusing on reducing the size of the government, especially the amount of government spending. Almost 75 percent of those who favor smaller government said they would rather have it than the domestic programs from which spending would be cut. Except not really: “In follow-up interviews, Tea Party supporters said they did not want to cut Medicare or Social Security— the biggest domestic programs, suggesting instead a focus on ‘waste.’” Well I can tell you one thing right now—a significant cut of Medicare or Social Security would not be paid for by cutting all of the porkbarrel spending in the entire budget. The waste of government dollars, as frustrating as some of the examples are (see the several Bridges to Nowhere that have been built), is not a large part of what the federal government spends its money on. It is foolish to think 1) that preventing such spending would pay for most of Medicare of Social Security and 2) that we are even capable of stopping it in a large way. While the image of the politician fighting wasteful spending is reassuring and politically viable, the reality is that most politicians do not do this consistently. Come election time, every senator publicly emphasizes how much money they brought directly to his or her home state; every representative brags in commercials about how much bacon he or she brought to his constituents. So a focus on reducing “waste” is both impractical and unnecessary—plus,

what exactly constitutes waste is a subjective determination, as there is not a tremendous amount of blatant Bridgeto-Nowhere type abuse hidden amid the folds of the Congressional Budget. Which leaves these Tea Partiers, who want both to reduce the size of government and to keep the two biggest government programs intact, in a bit of a jam because many of them do not believe in paying taxes. And taxes, however irritating, are how governments pay for things. While the above statement might seem a bit too obvious, I feel that most of the Tea Party needs to be reminded of this fact. The tax laws are set up so that the rich are taxed at much higher rates, because, duh, they have more to give. Kant would say they have an ethical obligation to pay theses higher rates (at least I think so). President Obama and the Democratcontrolled legislature have lowered taxes for the average family and raised them for the rich, which makes sense politically and, in my opinion, economically as well. The question of whether or not we should pay taxes should be a moot point—in order to have a government, it needs to be financed. Unfortunately, such a conflict has not faded away—we have a rabid anti-tax movement in this country, helped in many ways by the angry antigovernment rhetoric of organizations such as the Tea Party. Those against paying their taxes are most often those who have more money, and thus reject their taxes not out of principle, but out of selfish want of more resources. From the beginning of the New York Times article displaying the survey’s results states, “Tea Party supporters are wealthier and more well-educated than the general public, and are no more or less afraid of falling into a lower socioeconomic class.” So the fight over how to pay for government should move beyond the foolish focus on waste (not to mention the not-sofringe anti-tax attitude) to a debate about what our tax money should be spent on. If it was me, I would cut defense spending heavily and invest in infrastructure and public institutions: roads, libraries, police stations, fire stations, art museums, etc. Unfortunately, much of the general public forgets that taxes pay for those, too.

Got something to say? The Pioneer wants to hear your thoughts. Comment on this and other articles on our Web site, whitmanpioneer.com

Whitman: Outdoors can Immigration: Perspectives from China coexist with great indoors The great outdoors, a haven for Whitman Tamarac-ians, a place where whisper lights, water and granola can somehow pass for microwaves, JOEY KERN beer and ramen. Columnist To be honest, I have never seen the tremendous appeal. Yes, it is pretty. I enjoy pretty things. But it always seemed to me that the indoors were created for the very express purpose of keeping people “out” of the outdoors when the going got rough. Now, not being the sort of person who relishes in outdoorsy activities, I do indeed agree that these activities provide pleasure for a lot of people. I appreciate their appreciation, to say the least, and I like outdoorsy people in general, otherwise, living on this campus would be damn near unbearable. But, thankfully, Whitman has done an admirable job diversifying its appeal, even if this has been by complete chance. Now, for those of us Whitman students that do not live in Tamarac, don’t really go on OP trips and can’t particularly stomach granola or its sellout cousin the Kashi bar, there are thankfully still way too many things to be doing on this campus at any given time. In fact, I often find there to be a good two or three things for me to do at any one time and I have had to become adept at ascertaining the value of these things before I attend them. For instance, while the Nader speech is important, Beta-fest (of which the readership will soon be aware) is substantially more important and thank-

fully these two things do not in fact coincide. Consider this then a reflection by an indoorsy city-dweller from a combination of Kent, Newark and Jersey City whose idea of a good time is entirely devoid of both granola and campfires. Consider this a testament to the diversity this campus does in fact offer despite the relatively homogeneous mission statement on the Web site that we have read on another hundred or so collegiate homepages nationwide. The fact is, for new students coming to this school, if for any reason you find yourself reading this article, this place will do its absolute best to accommodate you. You need not sell out to a culture of climbing and rafting and not-showering if those things do not appeal to you, just as you won’t have to sell out to a culture of partying and debauchery if those things do not appeal to you either. There are any number of things to do at this school for people in either camp, people in both camps, and people in neither camp. There are poetry open mics where people get the chance to have an audience for work they might not have otherwise shared. There are movie nights on the Reid side lawn. There are campus publications, literary magazines, dances, renaissance fairs and, more or less, anything you could possibly want or imagine at reach. So, I can honestly say I have had no qualms about this school. I have been able to enjoy the kinds of things I enjoy doing and have been able to appreciate people who enjoy the finer things in life that I am too soft and lazy to enjoy. I suppose this is the essence of what diversity is at this school, and I can assert that if outdoorsy people and I can coexist at this school, anyone, ANYONE, can.

While study abroad is purportedly supposed to get you to understand foreign cultures, cultivate tolerance and provide an escape if (and when) you get bored of Whitman, GARY WANG it also provides anColumnist other perspective on your own culture. In America it’s often hard to get a fresh look at what precisely America is because, well, whatever it is has surrounded us from day one. It’s hard to recite what American culture is aside from brand names and clichés about “independence,” “freedom” and “democracy” if that’s all you’ve grown up with. In China, one of the first thing people have asked me is what living in America is like. Is it easy to become rich? Not as easy as it sounds. Is the environment cleaner? Yes. Is it more free? Yes, but that depends on what freedom means. Sometimes though, I have to temper their expectations and in that process you come to understand exactly what it is that you’re tempering. America’s a unique place: a nation of immigrants whose identity is continually in flux. Just witness the uproar over the immigration law Arizona recently passed. From what I gather, any police officer can demand to see the immigration papers of people they stop for other offenses like jaywalking, an open container on a street, or a traffic violation. Sounds draconian, but the debate on illegal immigration not only reflects economic and security anxieties but more fundamentally an anxiety over what it is to be American. Let’s be frank; Arizona’s new immigration law will lead to racial profiling for better or for worse. So, when I talk to Chinese students, almost all of them want to come to the United States for our world-renowned educational system, for a higher salary and for a more comfortable life. What I

also tell them is that it’s challenging to fully integrate oneself into another society, even one as open as America (see Rush Limbaugh on the immigration debate). Moreover, these conversations offer a new perspective, a kind of critical self-analysis, because no one in America talks about what America is. It’s assumed there is a consensus. Well, there’s not. On one hand, I’ve learned that the elderly face a dramatically different situation in America than in China. The whole tradition of valuing family extends, of course, to the elderly. As a consequence, you’ll see hundreds of retired people waltzing together at parks or doing calisthenics to upbeat high school football music at parks. You won’t see that in America. Our privatized communities mean that at night, you’re more likely to see teenagers selling drugs, drinking or hanging out than a sea of elderly people lined up waltzing. Now, there are reasons for this cultural difference but what’s interesting to me is the difficulty I had in realizing this difference until I stepped outside and looked back in. And it’s that very act of stepping out and

looking in that’s so helpful in watching American politics and culture from afar but not as a stranger. On the other hand, living in an area with a high urban density makes you realize just how much land there is in America. You won’t see open lots, open fields or just uninhabited places in the middle of a city in China. There’s literally not much room. Almost 1.3 billion people live in 22 percent of China’s landmass despite the fact that China and the United States share a relatively equal portion of the globe. We’re only about 250 years old politically, and while manifest destiny spread Americans across the continent, its not as if there is no room left in the country. Moreover, the openness of our lands precisely parallels the openness of our society and hits at the core of American identity. There’s enough room in America for more people. Not all of them are criminals nor are all immigrants illegal. If they are taking American jobs, then what jobs should they get? Why are some jobs fit for Americans to do but not others? These are the questions that proponents of Arizona’s immigration debate should be answering.

POLI T IC AL C ARTOON

DOUGLAS

OPINION

May 6, 2010

Nader: A different kind of Green

Arizona law demonstrates real federal reform needed

Ralph Nader might have run for president twice as a Green Party candidate. He might have LISA CURTIS played a vital Columnist role in the passing of the Clean Air Act and the Clean Water Act and the establishment of the Environmental Protection Agency. But he is not your typical progressively-minded environmentalist. In 2000, Nader declared that Al Gore and George W. Bush were both dominated by corporate interests, as similar as “Tweedledee and Tweedledum.” Not many environmentalists would equate the political godfather of the climate movement with a Texas cowboy who led his state towards the bottom of national environmental rankings while governor. Even when it became apparent that his place on the ballot was taking desperately needed votes from Gore in key states like Florida and New Hampshire, Nader refused to drop out of the race. Throughout his career, Nader has shown his inability to settle for the ‘lesser of two evils.’ Whereas many

On April 23, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed into effect a controversial new immigration law. The law requires that immigrants carry proof of JAMES SLEDD their immigration Columnist status at all times. Furthermore, the legislation directs law enforcement officers to verify a person’s immigration status when possible, and requires officers to arrest people who are unable to prove that they are in the country legally. Opponents argue that Hispanic people will be far more likely to be asked to prove their immigration status than others. Thus, critics say, the bill will encourage racial profiling. Simply put, the Arizona law is unjust, and its passage ignited a firestorm of protest. President Obama declared the legislation “misguided.” On May 1, hundreds of thousands marched in protest at rallies across the country. In California, the Archbishop of Los Angeles led the protesters in chants of “sí, se puede!” Congressman Raúl Grijalva called for a limited boycott of Arizona in protest of the law, marking the first time in recent memory that a politician urged visitors to avoid his home state. White House police arrested U.S. Representative Luis Gutiérrez of Illinois after he and about 35 supporters staged an unauthorized sit-in against the law in front of the White House lawn. Even Major League Baseball got dragged into the fray, as many baseball players are Latin American immigrants. In Chicago, protesters marched in front of Wrigley Field as the Cubs played the Arizona Diamondbacks. Some critics called on fans to boycott the 2011 All-Star Game, scheduled to be held in Phoenix. Outspoken Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen declared that if Arizona police asked for his immigration documents, he “might say go [expletive] yourself.” Guillen promised to skip the All Star game if the law is not repealed by 2011.

Nader’s uncompromisingly principled action contrasts with other Green advocacy

progressive individuals and organizations focus on working within the system by supporting the least-worst candidate and donating small amounts of money in hopes of countering corporate power, Nader is repeatedly in

conflict with both business and government for his relentless consumer advocacy. In 1965, after Nader wrote “Unsafe at Any Speed,” a book detailing resistance of car manufacturers to spend money on basic safety features like seat belts, he was harassed by private detectives hired by General Motors. His four presidential runs were widely criticized by the Democratic party and yet he persevered. He started the U.S. Public Interest Research Group (US PIRG), a now widespread organization that seeks to protect consumer rights. More recently, he wrote “Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us,” a novel that suggests that if the very wealthy harnessed their power for good, N they could fix the DE AL world’s problems. In a sense, Nader is still an idealistic college student. While the trend among environmentalists seems to be partnerships with business—take the recent move of the President of the Sierra Club to consulting for Wal-Mart—Nader continues to hold out for a more radical reformation of the system.

SAT question for Wall Street By most standards, Wall Street bankers are geniuses. They hail from the country’s most prestigious s cho ols—ab out 40 percent of Harvard and PrinceRUSS ton grads currentCADITZ-PECK ly head straight to Columnist Wall Street. Most of them probably did very well on the SAT, for whatever that’s worth. Here is a quick SAT-style question I wrote for them: Q. What does Wall Street do? Select the best answer: A. Raise money for worthwhile ventures and provide expert financial advice. B. Invent ultra-complex financial tools and sell them to wealthy clients. If these tools are junk, sell them anyway and bet against—or “short”—the transaction. C. Both of the above. Before the financial meltdown and subsequent bailouts and stimulus, many Americans might have trusted Wall Street’s carefully crafted P.R. image and picked “A.” Thanks to the recent Securities and Exchange Commission lawsuit against Goldman Sachs for fraud, the American public has discovered the truth. You guessed it: the best answer is “B.” On April 17, Goldman Sachs was flagged by the S.E.C. for allegedly defrauding clients. As many now know, the bank has been inventing, selling and in some cases betting on the performance of complex financial tools (in this case “collateralized debt obligations” on mortgages, or CDOs). These complex financial tools do not help fund any company or commercial endeavour—CDOs, for instance, are bets on whether specific homeowners will default on their mortgages. These tools are so intricate that even their inventors barely understand how they work. While much of this is actually legal, Goldman allegedly com-

mitted fraud when they sold “junk” or “sh**ty deals” (as a Goldman banker wrote in an internal e-mail) to a client, and then bet against the them. As Roger Lowenstein of the New York Times explains, it’s now clear that Goldman has been “gambling with,” rather than growing, the economy. Bankers have developed and marketed financial tools that pose massive risks to society, but only Wall Street speculators stand to profit. Lowenstein explains: “like [the] billions of dollars of similar trades sponsored by most every Wall Street firm, [the Goldman CDOs] raised nothing for nobody. In essence, they were simply a side bet—like those in a casino—that allowed speculators to increase society’s mortgage wager without financing a single house.”

The alleged fraud—and the subprime crisis as a whole—was not some unexpected accident.

The alleged fraud—and the subprime crisis as a whole—was not some unexpected accident. Subpoenaed e-mails written in 2007 by Fabrice “Fabulous Fab” Tourre, a 31-year-old French-born Goldman executive, read: “What if we created a ‘thing’, which has no purpose, which is absolutely conceptual and highly theoretical and which nobody knows how to price?”; “The whole building is about to collapse anytime now ... Only potential survivor, the fabulous Fab ... standing in the middle of all these complex, highly leveraged, exotic trades he created without necessarily understanding all of the implications of those monstrosities!!!”; “Anyway, not feeling too guilty about this, the real purpose of my job is to make capital markets more efficient ... so there is a humble, noble and ethical reason for my job ;) amazing how good I

the Pioneer EDITORIAL

PRODUCTION

Editor!in!Chief Molly Smith

Production Manager Ben Lerchin

Managing Editor Margaux Cameron

Production Associates Sally Boggan, Alyssa Fairbanks, Miriam Kolker, Sky MacFadyen, Hadley Mowe, Quinn Taylor

News Editor Jocelyn Richard Associate News Editor Josh Goodman

Copy Editors Cara Lowry, Sara Rasmussen

A&E Editor Connor Guy

PHOTOGR APHY

Feature Editor Rebecca Bright

Senior Photographer Linnea Bullion

Opinion Editor Alex Potter Sports Editors Max Rausch and Dujie Tahat Humor Editor Alex Kerr Associate Humor Editors Simi Singh and Finn Straley Photography Editor Simon Van Neste Illustration Editor Patricia Vanderbilt

Photographers Julia Bowman, Emily Cornelius, Brandon Fennell, David Jacobson, Marie von Hafften

ILLUSTR ATION Sam Alden, Kelly Douglas, Emily Johnson, Olivia Johnson, Binta LoosDiallo, Carrie Sloane, Jung Song, Kiley Wolff

am in convincing myself !!!” Even if the junk peddled by Tourre and his Wall Street friends happen to sink the entire global financial system— as it did in 2008—Tourre has no worries. While the profits are concentrated in Manhattan, the risk to the economy as a whole is “socialized” across the United States and much of the world. Without new regulation, bailouts will remain Wall Street’s insurance plan—regardless of what political party holds power. The actions of the past two administrations— both alleged fans of the “free market”— have proved that. Pretty “genius,” right? Blame for the meltdown cannot be assigned to any single bank or banker: the problems in our financial system are systemic. The mortgage crisis—and the resulting financial meltdown—was not the result of just a few bad apples. The current system of incentives on Wall Street—where bankers profit by betting on disasters that they help create—puts the entire global economy at risk. Massive Wall Street bonus present a similar problem. These bonuses are earned on commission; bankers continue to be rewarded for selling the most— rather than the best—deals. Unless we fix problems like these another crisis will surely occur, followed by more bailouts and stimulus spending. Despite anxiety on Wall Street and predictable obstructionism from Republican politicians, Congress is now poised to pass a major financial regulation bill. The debate thus far on Capitol Hill has been “wonky,” and for good reason: financial regulation is an incredibly complicated subject. All parties, myself included, recognize that it is necessary to proceed with caution. But before passing a bill, our representatives ought to remember one thing: The risk of a “too tough” financial bill pales in comparison to the crises that are bound to occur if the bill is too weak. We cannot leave the future of the global economy to be determined by bankers like Tourre. It’s time to end the gambling on Wall Street, no matter how “genius” those bankers may be.

The controversial Arizona law makes passing comprehensive federal immigration reform even more important. Without reform on a national level, states might enact a patchwork of laws in a desperate attempt to address undocumented immigration. As shown by the Arizona law, such legislation could encourage racial profiling and would do little to slow undocumented immigration. The March murder of rancher Robert Krentz near the U.S.-Mexico border by drug traffickers fueled debate over the Arizona law. Critics argue that undocumented immigrants commit crimes at a higher rate than U.S. citizens and are a threat to public safety. Arizona Senator John McCain made the bizarre claim— on national TV, no less—that undocumented immigrants intentionally ram unsuspecting citizens on his state’s freeways. But the reality is that undocumented immigrants are less likely to commit crimes than U.S. citizens. The vast majority of “illegal” immigrants are not vicious criminals, but come to the United States in search of jobs and a better life for their families. Their hard labor provides substantial benefits to the U.S. economy. Immigration reform should include a guest worker program that would allow foreign nationals to work in the United States for a specified period of time. A guest worker program would eliminate much of the human smuggling across the U.S.-Mexico border. Border Patrol agents would then be able to focus on fighting violent drug trafficking rather than chasing peaceful job-seekers. Furthermore, immigration reform should include a path to citizenship for the 12 million undocumented immigrants already in the country. Many undocumented immigrants have been in the United States for years, and their children have often spent more of their lives in the United States than in their home countries. Their only crime is crossing an arbitrary line in search of a better living. It’s a pity that such a trivial crime generates so much animosity, irrationality and hate.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR It’s hard to believe that 13 issues have passed since the beginning of the semester. For that matter, it’s even harder to believe that the end of the semester is upon us and that summer is only days away. As this is our last regular issue of the semester (be on the lookout for our second annual Grad Issue, debuting May 18), it comes time for me to reflect not only on what we’ve accomplished these last few months but to also consider what we can do in the coming year. Although May marks the end of an academic year, it marks the midway point of my yearlong term as editor-in-chief. This semester has been a learning experience, for nothing could have prepared me for this role. Since The Pioneer is a student newspaper, there is no cut-and-dried way of publishing, no manual telling us exactly what to do. This is both rewarding and incredibly challenging. To help us with this challenge, we’ve established an Advisory Board, comprised of members of the Whitman and Walla Walla communities who are experienced in the fields of journalism, publishing and writing. The Board consists of Professor of History Julie Charlip, Visiting Assistant Professor of Politics Ashley Esarey and Professor of Rhetoric and Film Studies Bob Withycombe; Director of Fellowships and Grants Keith Raether; Associate Director of Communications and Editor of

the Whitman Magazine Lana Brown; VP for Development and College Relations John Bogley; and Walla Walla Union-Bulletin Publisher Rob Blethen. I have also learned an incredible amount from the amazing team of editors I’ve had the pleasure of working with. They have consistently brought new ideas to the table, and they had led me to reconsider many of the newspaper’s previous conventions. I am excited to implement their ideas and suggestions come next semester. I am also indebted to the entire Pioneer staff. The hard work and dedication of the writers, photographers, illustrators, production associates and business staff makes producing a weekly newspaper possible. This list isn’t complete without mention of my partner in crime, Publisher Derek Thurber. Derek has been influential in not only keeping me sane, but in creating a sustainable business model for The Pioneer and for spearheading the formation of the Advisory Board and the redesign of our Web site, which is set to debut in September. To the entire Whitman community, I wish you the best of luck on final exams and hope you all have a relaxing, well-deserved summer vacation. And to seniors, best of luck in the years to come. Until next time, Molly

EDITORIAL POLICY

whitman news, delivered. WRITING NEWS Rachel Alexander, Scott Cassidy, Jeremy Guggenheim, Nate Lessler, Lea Negrin, Joe Volpert

A&E Ellie Gold, Andrew Hall, Caitlin Hardee, Bécquer Medak-Seguín, Liz Sieng, Christine Texeira, Ami Tian, Karl Wallulis

OPINION Russ Caditz-Peck, Lisa Curtis, Blair Frank, Gillian Frew, Joey Kern, Heather Nichols-Haining, James Sledd, Gary Wang, Will Witwer

FE ATURE Grant Bradley, Amy Chapman, Hadley Jolley, Becky Nevin, Jenny Willis

SPORTS Bailey Arango, Gabe Cahn, Allan Crum, Lindsay Fairchild, Doyle McCarthy, Melissa Navarro

HUMOR Emily Basham, Galen Cobb, Nadim Damluji, Helen Jenne

BUSINESS Publisher Derek Thurber Directors of Public Relations Connor Guy, Sara Rasmussen Circulation Associates Lilly Dethier, Linnea Rudeen Webmaster Rebecca Fish

ADVERTISING Advertising Manager Matt Solomon Advertising Associates Dana Fong, Jeffry Hopfenbeck, Eric Molnar, Anna Taylor, Shellin Tran Advertising Designer Nadeem Kassam

The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, the Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

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Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 13 MAY 6, 2010 Page 10

Wolves squeak by Missionaries by DUJIE TAHAT Sports Editor

Whitman's men's Lacrosse team traveled to Summit High School in Bend, Ore. this past weekend for the Pacific Northwest Collegiate Lacrosse League's Final Four Showdown and championship game. The Missionaries took the field in the second game of the day on Saturday, May 1, against conference rival Western Oregon University. In a rematch of last year's championship game—which took two overtimes to decide—the Missionaries were held scoreless in the first half, looking on as the Wolves tallied four goals. Despite outscoring Western Oregon in both the third and fourth quarter, 5-3 and 3-2, respectively, the Missionaries didn't have enough firepower to overcome the early deficit. Yet again, the decision came down to the very end as the Wolves took the match 9-8. On the other side of the bracket, the Western Washington University Vikings took care of Southern Oregon University in an 8-4 victory, advancing to the finals to face Western Oregon. In the title match the Vikings kept it close, but ultimately fell the Wolves 12-13. However, both Western Oregon and Western Washington advance to the Men's Collegiate Lacrosse Association Division II National Championship Tournament as the eighth- and 12th-seed, respectively, receiving at-large bids from the selection committee. "It came down to ranking. Basically, Western Washington was number one in the north and Western Oregon was number one in the south," said junior Stephen Over. "Whereas, last year, we were a three-seed and it didn't seem reasonable [to the selection committee] to send a three-seed." To say the Missionaries have had difficulty with the reigning league champion Western Oregon Wolves would be an understatement. The Wolves have knocked the Missionaries out of the play-offs each of the last three years, en route to three consecutive PNCLL championship titles. The Missionaries haven't defeated Western Oregon since Feb. 25, 2006, and in their last three meetings, the Wolves have won by a whopping total of three points. "I would say that a number of things could have gone the other way, and we could have won any of those games," said sophomore attacker Sam Kollar. "We are both talented teams and it has not gone our way by a small margin three times in a row now. They are a very physical team. They are athletic. Their bench is deeper, and they consistently play chippy lacrosse against us. [They] are an exceptional lacrosse team." This season's team has had to adjust offensively after seeing former all-star Sunn Kim transfer. With a more balanced attack, Whitman fought to a 5-4 record overall, and 2-1 in conference. Despite not having a go-to offensive weapon, collectively, the team has done more than enough in picking up the slack. Surprise

PHOTOS BY JACOBSON upstart, first-year Aedan Weber, ranks third in the league and leads the team in goals scored per game with 2.75. On the other end of the spectrum, departing senior captain Bidnam Lee, has also done his part. Along with Kollar, Lee leads the league in assists per game, dishing out two and three respectively. Sophomore Michael Nelson joins Lee, Kollar and Weber in the top 20 for points tallied per game—a statistic that includes both assists and goals. With this season already in the books, the Missionaries are taking stock and evaluating what they'll need next year. "Our biggest weakness is always our

ABOVE: Captain Bidnam Lee ‘10 led the offensive attack this season, ranked second in conference and leads the team in combined goals and assists per game with 1.5 and 3.0, respectively. RIGHT: Brian Moo! ers ‘10 is one of five seniors who will be leaving the men’s lacrosse team this season.

low numbers—particularly at the midfield. That is our biggest concern for next year," said Kollar. "The senors that are leaving—which made up a huge chunk of our core players—will be missed. However, underclassmen from this season will step up next season. As our coach always says: 'We don't rebuild. We reload.'"

Sportsmanship out of place in pros The American public has always put sportsmanship on a pedestal. From little-league baseball players shaking hands after every game to BAILEY youth soccer playARANGO ers taking a knee Staff Reporter every time a player goes down with an injury, the always-tenuous analog of sport as a blueprint for acceptable everyday behavior is at its most pronounced whenever the question of good or bad sportsmanship is brought up. As both the NBA and NHL playoffs begin to heat up, sports fans are increasingly treated to glimpses of professional athletes not simply as stoic scoring machines, but rather as emotional, vulnerable individuals fully prepared to do anything humanly possible to win a championship. That atmosphere of passion and desperation, of buzzer-beaters and clutch performances, has provided the most memorable moments in the history of professional sports, as well as in the lives of their fans. Yet far too often fans and sports pundits alike accept all of the euphoria associated with championship games in the same breath that they bemoan the behavior of losers and also-rans. LeBron James is among the best athletes in the world, and when all is said and done may well be regarded as the best player

ever to pick up a basketball. Yet when LeBron and his Cavalier teammates fell to the Orlando Magic in the 2009 Eastern Conference Finals, the spotlight was not on LeBron’s performance in the series, nor on his prowess and ability in general; no, LeBron James was newsworthy in defeat because he left the court without shaking hands with the opposing team. Following the most crushing defeat of his career, James forewent the usual postgame politics associated with the end of a playoff series, opting instead to head straight to the locker room. Fans and commentators alike had a field day. In storming off the court following a loss, was James teaching America’s children to be poor losers? In being too overwhelmed by disappointment to give a post-game press conference, was LeBron setting a bad example for his legions of followers, young and old? The obvious answer to these questions, so often overlooked by all sides in sports discourse, is that LeBron James is not a little league athlete. James behaved the way he did not out of spite, but out of legitimate heartbreak. This was not a game of bingo or an intramural softball game. This was a man’s life work, ending, at least for one year, in complete disappointment and frustration Imagine the most heartbreaking moment of your entire life. Now imagine it in front of 25 million viewers. If James had taken a swing at someone, tried to injure another player or behaved

malevolently in any capacity, he would be more than deserving of ridicule. Athletes should by all means be held accountable for their actions, but for an athlete of James’ caliber to react to a crushing defeat with anything other than anguish would mean one of two things: Either he was insincere, or he didn’t care who won or lost. Neither of these options is any more desirable than his being a “poor sport.” James didn’t become the athlete he did by taking defeat lightly—far from it. Athletes like James, or future NFL hall of fame quarterback Peyton Manning, who similarly left the field early following his Colts’ loss to the New Orleans Saints in Superbowl XLIV earlier this year, are only the world-renowned athletes that they are because of a lifetime commitment to excellence, competition and winning. Both James and Manning were gracious in defeat; LeBron told reporters that the first thing he did following the Cavaliers’ loss was to send a congratulatory e-mail to Magic superstar Dwight Howard. Yet even that e-mail, sent from one legend to another, sheds light on the nature of debates over James’ or Manning’s sportsmanship; we just don’t get it. How could we? It is deceptively easy as fans to forget that the athletes we cheer for are experiencing every win, and every loss, on a level beyond the comprehension of anyone who hasn’t been there themselves. This is not to say that professional sports are free from poor sportsmen displaying reprehensible behavior. Following an

incredibly hard-fought series that lasted literally down to its final minutes, the Pittsburgh Penguins, led by their then-21year-old captain Sidney Crosby, won the 2009 Stanley Cup, defeating the defending champion Detroit Red Wings, who the Penguins lost to in the final the year before. In following with what is regarded by many as the most beautiful tradition in professional sports, players from both teams, all in varying states of disarray, elation, exhaustion and misery, line up at center ice to shake hands, win or lose. Former NHL coach and current ESPN analyst Barry Melrose once remarked that among the hardest things he’s had to do as a coach was to make his players, after seeing their childhood dream fall just short, muster up the resolve to shake their opponents’ hands. Yet 2009 saw a new phenomenon; Sidney Crosby, captain of the winning team, refused to shake the hand of Nicklas Lidstrom, the opposing Red Wings’ captain. Lidstrom, eager to do the right thing, waited at center ice for half an hour, during which time Crosby left the arena. Crosby’s refusing to be gracious in victory is an example of all that is wrong with professional sports; a conceit, spite and egotism so overwhelming that could render an athlete incapable of paying respect to those less-fortunate athletes whose shoes he or she has been in before. But to criticize someone like LeBron James—whose entire life’s work stands as a testament to the importance of athletic excellence—for being inconsolable in defeat is ludicrous.

Taming the Tiger: Nice guy finishes first

To say Phil Mickelson has it good is an understatement. He gets to play golf for a living, he owns his own plan and to top it all off he is married to a MAX RAUSCH former Phoenix Sports Editor Suns cheerleader who he picked up while he was merely a junior at Arizona State. Want to trade lives? Success has always come easily for Mickelson; as an amateur he won three NCAA National Championships, the U.S. Amateur and the PGA Tour’s Phoenix Open. His long flowing swing and incredible early success led golf writers to compare him to Jack Nicklaus and dub him golf ’s next shining star and the heir to the number one ranking in the world. Early in his professional career Mickelson won often—22 times in his first 11 years on Tour—but never when it truly counted. A major championship victory, golf ’s holy grail eluded him. Instead it was Tiger Woods who took the professional golf scene by storm, winning eight majors before Phil could collect his first. Tiger has the killer instinct Phil seemingly lacks; he wants to be feared, relishes it even, while Phil seems content to be loved by fans and players alike. Mickelson became loveable Lefty, golf ’s nice guy, the Chicago Cubs to Tiger’s New York Yankees. We have seen Phil fail—who can forget his heartbreaking double bogey on the last hole of the 2006 U.S. Open at Winged Foot? However, Phil’s flops have only brought him closer to our hearts. They have proved he is human, just a man playing a game, still subject to the wayward drive or the missed three-footer that frustrate golfers of all levels. Phil’s humanity stands in stark contrast to the seemingly flawless winning machine that is Tiger Woods. We know when Phil is happy and when he is disappointed because he will tell us. Tiger has never allowed anyone that kind of access to his emotions or himself, for that matter, as he routinely gives boring cliché interviews and avoids autograph seekers like the plague. He even named his yacht Privacy. American sports fans love a winner but not nearly as much as we love an underdog. Over the last 10 years, cheering for Tiger Woods has become kind of like rooting for the sun to come up in the morning; it is boring, a foregone conclusion. He has zapped the drama out of golf winning with a ruthless efficiency more characteristic of an undertaker than an athlete. Tiger is undoubtedly golf ’s ultimate champion but Mickelson has emerged as the lovable underdog, the people’s champion. This is why when the golfing gods decided to let Mickelson’s birdie putt on the 72nd hole of the 2004 Masters slide in the side door, giving Lefty his first major championship and validating his professional career, he was not the only one to jump for joy. The whole golf world—except for maybe Tiger Woods—was genuinely happy for him. Tiger Woods is the best golfer on the planet, and no one will argue with that. For the last 14 years Woods has dominated professional golf winning 97 times, holding the number one in the world for 598 weeks and winning on every continent except Antarctica. However, this Sunday could spell the end of Tiger’s reign at the top. If Phil Mickelson can win the Players Championship this weekend in Florida he will become only the fourth person to hold the number one ranking in the Tiger Woods era. A win this weekend would put the capstone on a career goal for Mickelson and prove that sometimes nice guys finish first.

SPORTS

May 6, 2010

Baseball drops season finale, looks to future by MELISSA NAVARRO Staff Reporter

The Whitman men faced off against Whitworth University in Spokane, Wash. last weekend, May 1-2, in a threegame weekend series. The first game of Saturday's double-header ended in a steep 2-15 loss, as the Missionaries struggled to get on the board until the seventh inning. The second game on Saturday proved to be slightly more interesting as the Missionaries blew a 2-1 lead at the top of the third en route to a 4-8 loss. It was a similar story for Whitman in Sunday's capper, as they gave up five runs in three innings to, again, blow a 2-1 lead after the top of the third. In game one, sophomore Eric Tolleson got the start. He had a rough outing, allowing six earned runs on eight hits. Tolleson only lasted three innings, and he left the game trailing 0-8. After taking over in the fourth, senior Joe Rodhouse closed the game out. In five innings of work, he also allowed six earned runs and 12 hits. Conversely, Whitworth's pitching was stellar, as the Pirates' starter, Nick Combo, shut down the Missionaries for the first six innings, only allowing one run and four hits. In the top of the seventh inning, senior Blaine Mercado doubled to right center for an RBI scored by junior Erik Korsmo. By the ninth inning, trailing Whitworth 15-1, Tolleson scored on a single from senior Jason Sease. "[Combo] was hitting his spots. He wasn't an overpowering pitcher. [Those] are rare in the Northwest Conference," said Korsmo. "The other thing he did was change speeds with his change ups

and fast balls. If you can do that, you'll be successful." Game two was significantly closer as Whitworth beat Whitman 8-4. Korsmo began the game on the mound for the Missionaries. He lasted four innings, allowing three earned runs on seven hits. An early 2-1 lead was blown in the bottom of the third inning when Korsmo walked two Whitworth hitters. Korsmo picked off one, while the other reached home on an infield error. That, coupled with a two-run shot over the fences, put the Pirates ahead 4-2. Whitman's bats stayed silent for much of the rest of the game. In the top of the fifth, first-year Justin Weeks managed to score one unearned run due to two errors made by Whitworth's infield. In the top of the ninth, Sease made it around the bases on an error by the pitcher and two ground-outs—the RBI coming from Weeks. First-year John Nortz replaced Korsmo after the fourth and took the mound for the remainder of the game, only allowing two runs on five hits. Sunday's series finale also marked the end of the season, with the third game against Whitworth resulting in a 2-6 loss. The Missionaries jumped out to an early 2-1 lead and held on to it for first four innings. Unfortunately, they couldn't hold on, as the Pirates scored three runs in the bottom of the fifth. Offensively, Korsmo made a push for Whitman, with a single in the first inning along with junior Jay Richards and an RBI at the top of the third that allowed Richards to score. Additionally, Korsmo's performance at bat this year put him at the top of Whitman's

top batting average for the second year in a row. With two outstanding wins under his belt this season, Mercado got the start in his final college game, going the distance, giving up five earned runs on 11 hits. At bat, Mercado shined in the third with a doubled to left center, but progress was cut short as the next hitter ended the inning with a ground-0ut to third. Whitworth managed to shake up the game in the bottom of the fifth inning, busting open Mercado for three runs. The 4-2 gap continued to widen for the rest of the game as the Missionaries were unable to keep up with the Pirates, who scored one run in both the sixth and the eighth innings. This past weekend, five seniors, including Mercado, put a cap on their collegiate careers. Mercado joined Rodhouse, Sease and senior Mitch Hannoosh as they made their final appearances in a Whitman uniform, while senior captain Brian Kitamura looked on, sidelined by season-ending ACL injury a few months back. However, all five spent their last season with a team that is undoubtedly going through a transitional season. Under the new leadership of Coach Jared Holowaty, the team is hopeful for a better season next year. "I'm really excited to come back because of the freshman base. Coach Holowaty is a great recruiter and has a great group coming in," said Korsmo. " At the beginning of this season, we told ourselves we were going to be the first class that would change our program, and now we can build on that." Whitman ended its season 4-20 in the Northwest Conference and 5-34 overall.

VON HAFFTEN Joe Rodhouse ‘10 warms up with fellow senior Mitch Hannoosh in preparation for their final collegiate games last weekend against Whitworth University. In three games, the Missionaries were outscored 26-8 finishing the season 5-34 overall.

Men’s tennis gears up for NCAA tournament by LINDSAY FAIRCHILD Staff Reporter

After the end of a very successful season, the men’s tennis team got an automatic berth in the NCAA Division III National Tournament by winning the Northwest Conference in Cleveland, Ohio. The team is seeded sixth in the West Region,; senior Matt Solomon got the six-seed in the individual bracket, while him and junior Ettiene Moshevich got the nod at the sixth seed in the doubles bracket. Since Whitman is one of the few Division III schools that have to be flown in to the tournament sites, the location of the tournament is still undecided until Sunday, May 9. The format of the tournament is four regions of fifteen teams. The winners of each of the four regions will advance to

the final four in Cleveland. Coach Jeff Northam is very optimistic about how the Missionaries will do. “I have pretty high expectations for the event. If we play well we can give any team a run for their money. We have enough talent and experience to upset teams in our regional event. Obviously a lot depends on our draw,” said Northam. Currently, the top eight Division III teams in the nation are: 1. Middlebury College, 2. Washington University—St. Louis, 3. Emory University, 4. Claremont-Mudd-Scripps Colleges, 5. Cal Lutheran University, 6. University of California—Santa Cruz, 7. Carnegie Mellon University and 8. Amherst University. The national singles ranking has not been published yet, but senior Matt Solomon is the sixth-ranked player in

the West Region, and the doubles partnership of Solomon and junior Etienne Moshevic is ranked sixth in the region as well. Solomon also believes that the Whitman men will be successful at the NCAA tournament. “There is actually a lot of pressure riding on the conference tournament because nothing else that happened during the season matters. Despite going undefeated in our conference during the regular season, if we slip up at the tournament, we don’t go to nationals,” said Solomon. “We have the firepower and the quality of players to do it and we are looking forward to being pitbulls in the NCAA [tournament]. We are looking to give it everything we have!” During their time here, the seniors currently on Whitman’s roster have not

Philly Phanatic: Don’t tase me, bro

GABE CAHN & DOYLE McCARTHY Staff Reporters

Dear Steve Consalvi, You may have incidentally ruined one of the finest arts in sporting: the fan streak (either clothed, semi-clothed, or naked). Surely, you, the 17-year-old kid from Philly who got tased after running onto the field at the Phillies game on Monday night, did not anticipate that outcome. You even called your dad and asked if it was a good idea. Really? Did you expect your dad to say yes to such a reckless proposition? Regardless, you have raised the bar for future streakers and possibly deterred one of the most entertaining aspects of live sports. To find out exactly what you may have destroyed, we think it's time we take a look back and evaluate the rich history of dumb fans running onto the field at sporting events. After watching five and a half hours of YouTube footage, we think we have gained an understanding of what exactly we sports fans love so much about other fans running onto the field. And don’t get us wrong; people freaking love it when other fans run onto the field. It’s kind of like cheering for the bull at a bullfight; you are instinctively obligated. Before we break it down, allow us to classify some particularly notable styles of fan streaking. First, there’s the classic, yet never failing, naked soccer fan. Usually a drunk and rowdy Caucasian male equipped with only a scarf runs on to the field and

has a good sprint down the middle of the pitch. Soccer streakers are notorious for a) being naked and b) having the longest runs because of the huge field and general lack of security at matches. Then, there are the fans who hop on the field at football games. This is a much more dangerous art considering they will be running amongst 100 big men whose job it is to tackle people. Nevertheless, these fans decide to take their chances and run onto the field to raucous cheers from the crowd until they are inevitably laid out to even louder applause. Our favorite instance

We can’t help but cheer for you like the bull when you run around and evade security guards, even though we know that you will be tamed by the ‘matador.’ of fan interference at a football game came when off-duty National Guardsman Todd Kobus flipped the script on New England Patriots linebacker, Junior Seau. Kobus hopped on the field during a Patriots-Cardinals game in December 2008 and tackled Seau as he stood on the sidelines only to wish him a Merry Christmas before being separated. Finally, and perhaps most relevantly, there are the streaking fans at baseball games. You, Steve, fall into this category. Baseball streakers have their own distinctive style. They often come out in pairs, which is probably the product of a conversation along the lines of “I’ll do it if you do it, OK, lets f*$#%n do it!” Normally, these individuals have spent a little too much time in the beer garden.

But you, Steve, were stone cold sober. What gives? Baseball fans are also infamous for running onto the field simply to say hello to one of their beloved players. Now that we’ve given some examples of different streaking styles among sports, we’d like to suggest three general guidelines for future streakers to maximize entertainment value. Unfortunately, Steve, you only satisfied one. First, we love it when the fans get involved with the actions of the sport itself. For example, when a fan stole the football out of Brett Favre’s hand after a snap and ran with it, or when baseball streakers run around the bases. Or, even the time when a fan ran onto a soccer field in a ref ’s uniform and gave the referee a red card, and then took off all his clothes and ran from security. These guys are awesome. Secondly, we love it when the fans are noticeably intoxicated. Lastly, we love it most when the fan gets absolutely leveled by security; either when they get tackled, or in your case, Steve, they get tased. And you, sir, got the bejesus tased out of you. Well done. The paradox of fan streaking is that nothing good ever comes out of a raging fan let loose on the field—streakers face legal issues and taser burns. However, we would argue those short moments they spend on the field can become eternal in the hearts and minds of other sports fans, the stuff of legends. We as sporting fans love this phenomenon because naturally we like to see other people break rules or social norms. We can’t help but cheer for you like the bull when you run around and evade security guards, even though we know that you will be tamed by the ‘matador.' In conclusion, thanks for the laughs, Steve. Sincerely, Gabe Cahn and Doyle McCarthy

lost a single conference game. “It was awesome to finish our conference careers with four consecutive undefeated conference regular seasons. Our group of seniors are very close and advancing to nationals is a great way to end our careers. Hopefully we will make some great memories at national,” said Fuchs. “We’ve added three talented freshmen to the team and the team’s future looks bright. We had tons of fun as a group this year, and I will treasure those memories,” said senior Christoph Fuchs. The men’s tennis team has had a great season. Not only did they complete their fourth consecutive undefeated conference season in a row, along with earning the Northwest Conference Player of the Year honors, Solomon joins first-year Jeff Tolman on the all-conference first-

team. Meanwhile Moshevich and fellow junior Chris Bailey round-off the allconference second-team. The Missionaries will be looking forward building on the individual momentum to have a successful team run at the NCAA tournament. In a season where there couldn’t have been that many lows, Northam looked back at the positive experiences. “One that stands out is of one of our first matches of the year. We are playing our conference rival PLU and unfortunately we are playing poorly and are down 2-4. We end up winning the last three matches in third sets to win 5-4. That match showed me the heart and determination of our team. That match also helped us refocus our efforts; later in the year we beat PLU 9-0 and 5-1 in the conference tournament.”

S Men’s Tennis: The Missionaries are currently ranked 20th in the country (NCAA Division III), and prepping for team play in the NCAA National Tournament set to start next weekend. Where they will play has yet to be determined and will not be announced until May 9. The Missionaries enter the tournament with high hopes. This will be the fourth year in a row Whitman has qualified for the national tournament to go along with

their four consecutive years of undefeated conference play. They will enter the tournament as the sixth seed in the Westerm Region. Senior Matt Solomon, the Northwest Conference’s Men’s Tennis Player of the Year for the second time in three years, will participate in the individual tournament as a sixth seed. Solomon, along with junior Etienne Moshevich, also found themselves seeded sixth for the doubles tourney.

S SATURDAY, May 1 Baseball: Whitman College 2, Whitworth University 15 L—Tolleson (1-9) Score by Inning R H E Whitman.......... 000 000 101 - 2 7 2 Whitworth.........116 500 11X - 15 2 0 Whitman College 4, Whitworth University 8 L—Korsmo (0-6)

Score by Inning R H E Whitman........... 011 010 001 - 4 8 1 Whitworth......... 103 201 01X - 8 12 4

SUNDAY, May 2

Baseball: Whitman College 2, Whitworth University 6 L—Mercado (2-8) Score by Inning R H E Whitman........... 002 000 000 - 2 11 3 Whitworth......... 010 031 01X - 6 11 0

Dr Dominique Weis Thursday night at 8 p.m. "What can Hawaiian volcanoes tell us about Earth's mantle?" in Brattain Auditorium, Science 100 Friday at 11 a.m. "Isotope tracing of pollutants in the environment, Pb, Cd and Zn examples" in Science 116

The Pioneer

This page is full of jokes!

ISSUE 13 MAY 6, 2010 Page 12

Historical stoners Weed has been around forever. Since the dawn of human history, people have been getting high and doing amazing shit. Here are a few famous historical figures who were high most of the time and the greatest contributions to society they came up with while baked.

Thomas Edison

Contribution: The Light Bulb Frustrated by attempts to roll the world’s largest joint by candlelight in an era when joints were constructed out of a combination of petroleum gel, straw and gasoline, Edison sought to create a non-flammable source of luminescence. The light bulb cleared the way for weed enthusiasts of the future to roll their massive joints in safety.

Benjamin Franklin

Contribution: Electricity Of course Ben Franklin smoked weed. Why would anyone ever go out in the rain to fly a kite? Contrary to popular belief, Franklin’s original intent with the kite experiment was to build what he called a “lightning bong.” To this day, no one knows exactly what that would have entailed.

Backpage FEA

IN R U T

guest writers:

anonymous, anonymous, anonymous, anonymous, anonymous, anonymous and anonymous

COSMO SPLIFFS

So you’re dating a stoner—sorry, spliff enthusiast. How are you supposed to know whether it’s going to be smooth sailing or a rocky road especially when his face doesn’t express any sort of emotion other than when he’s giggling like a fourth grade girl who’s just heard a dirty joke? Here’s Cosmo’s guide to what your man’s spliff says about him. The Half! Smoked Spliff: At least he finished!

Winston Churchill

Contribution: The Term “Iron Curtain” Churchill visited Roosevelt’s White House in 1945 for what Roosevelt had hoped to be a productive discussion on Stalin’s violent rise to power. Instead, Churchill’s trip turned out to be a seven day toke-fest, during which he refused to work on anything except his “Cozy Fort”—a velvety castle of bedsheets and historical couch cushions that he created the middle of the oval office. Frustrated by the president’s refusal to join him and spy on the secret service agent at the door, Churchill referred to Roosevelt as “an iron curtain of emotion.”

Grok, famous caveman inventor

Contribution: Fire, the Wheel, Agriculture. Struck dumb by the deluge of thoughts and ideas that Grok experienced after consuming a strange green plant, he immediately embarked on the greatest creative spree of pre-history. He created fire because it was awesome to look at, the wheel so he could gather more plants at a single time and agriculture to satisfy his intense craving for what anthropologists describe as “munchies.”

stoners

The New York Cougar Spliff: This spliff tells you that one time, your man picked up a prostitute while on his “business” trip with his “friends” from “work” in New York and couldn’t pay her in cash so he paid her in spliffs!

The Sphere joint: Your boyfriend is psychologically dependent on a drug called cannabis. Measures should be taken to avoid the deterioration of his mental health.

Masturbation

Look at this frightening data, collected over the course of a single study. This is your masturbation frequency on weed:

The Crucispliff: Are you religious? Great, because this guy dedicates each of his toking seshes to Jesus Christ. Are you anti-religious? Great! This guy burns a cross at each of his toking seshes.

The No!Crutch Spliff: Loose Structure Spliff= spontaneous and lover of beach walks!

WARNING:

If you smoke weed, you WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STOP MASTURBATING!

The Crab Spliff: It’s not that he has crabs, but he might have crabs!

The Chrysalis Spliff: Oh honey, if you find your boy smoking one of these, you’re in for a treat! This spliff tells you that your man’s really coming into his own as a spliff connoisseur. Sure, his drug dealer’s always calling him while you two are getting down and dirty (git it gurl!) and sure your man can list his top 10 favorite types of weed (Purple Skunk, Bubble Bud . . .) and the their chromosomal differences but constantly forgets that you’re vegan and sure one time he bought a $400 water bong from Humboldt as a self-birthday gift and then bought you $99 heart shaped pendant from Kay Jewelers without the chain for your birthday and then proceeded to offer you the $50 rebate coupon but all that means is that your man knows how to commit. He knows how to commit to a little someone we like to call Mary Jane. Or schwag. Or Bud. Or cannabis. Or just marijuana, is really what we technically call it. Addicted? No. Committed? Yes.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY E. JOHNSON

NON-URBAN OUTFITTERS

In an effort to expand their profits, Urban Outfitters has recently opened up a new set of stores in non-urban areas. As CEO Tek Shoemaker claims, “We want to re-invent what it means to be !rural" as un-ironically ironical as possible.” The Pio recently got an exclusive look at the new Non-Urban Outfitters catalogue:

Marijuana Use

This is your masturbation ON POT.

Evolution of a

National Enquirer headline Have you ever wondered how the National Enquirer writes such good headlines? How they turn bland story ideas into stories so compelling they almost seem too good to be true? Well, in a recent investigation, we uncovered the extensive editing process that goes into a National Enquirer headline. Students face stress of higher tuition, work-study cuts

a. Dave Egger’s Tractor Manual $50.00 From the writer of “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” and the screenwriter of “Where the Wild Things Are” comes the literary masterpiece of the “2011 Ford Tractor Manual.” Eggers deconstructs the idea of “manual” to redefine how tractors operate. He raises such brilliant questions as: What is clutch? Where is the transmission? What is a tractor? b. Ironic T-shirt: OBAMA IS MY HOMEBOY $29.99 Wink. Wink. c. Pitchfork Media Pitchfork $500.00 This Pitchfork “sponsored” product comes with the guarantee to make your next hay clearing a 9.8! d. Diesel Jean Presents UnLeaded Fuel $300.00/Gallon Give your truck an extra “boost” with Diesel brand fuel. It’s not cocaine. e. The “Confederate” Flag $100.00 f. The Blunt Axe $250.00 g. The Apathetic Horse $1,000.00

“Stress” isn’t really dramatic enough. Get inside the students’ heads. What do they feel?

DAMLUJI

Students face horror of higher tuition, work-study cuts I think the higher tuition and cuts were a surprise. Let’s incorporate that.

Students face surprise horror of higher tuition, work-study cuts

Heighten the “work-study cuts” to make people more concerned. I want to feel the fear!!!

Students face surprise horror of higher tuition, massacre of work-study cuts

f. c.

I think that “work-study cuts” and “tuition” are implied.

Students face surprise horror, massacre

Let’s delete the “horror;” it’s redundant. And I feel that this would be much more compelling if, instead of facing a massacre, the students went on a massacre.

Students go on surprise massacre

But does anyone really care what students do? Really?

Aliens go on surprise massacre, killing hundreds Almost. I just feel like it’s missing something . . .

Mummy aliens go on surprise massacre, killing hundreds

BULLION AND LERCHIN