Whitman Pioneer - Fall 2010 Issue 10

IN THIS ISSUE

Whitman dives into season start

Video games are free speech

Swim team lays the foundations for a strong season with a renewed focus on technique. page 6

Columnist Blair Frank discusses First Amendment protection for video games. page 7

A very Walla Walla Thanksgiving A&E writer Nate Lessler suggests activities for students staying on campus or in town for the break. page 4

WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVII Issue 10 whitmanpioneer.com N , 

Students express registration woes ASWC survey evaluates registration season’s unavailability of courses primarily due to enrollment pressure and !"#$%&'!"()$&%%*"+,'-.#/&+.%'$0*%&'!"+!&$+%'01"#.'(02"$'0+/'/*%.$*1#.*"+'3#4544(&+.%,'

by MOLLY SMITH Editor­in­Chief

First-year Jamie Edison can capture his spring pre-registration experience in a single word: stressful. Not only were two of his first-choice classes closed by the time his registration opened, so were his second-choice options. In order to take the minimum 12-credit course load, Edison had to sign up for a class that he had no plan nor desire in taking.

Despite this seemingly bleak registration experience, Edison considers himself lucky compared to the majority of first-year students who faced the brunt of an incredibly difficult pre-registration season.

“I know that some of my friends had to completely and totally rework their schedules. They probably had ten back-up classes and some of them went through all of them,” he said, a result of the fact that the majority of introductory level courses were filled by the time registration opened to first-year students.

The frustrations of registration were not limited solely to the first-year class.

“I’ve had ups and downs in registration throughout my time here. Registration is a lottery system and you don’t always get what you want and that’s to be expected.

However, there are certain compromises that shouldn’t be made during registration,” said senior biology major Nat Clarke in reference to the increased sizes of courses department-wide. Of particular concern to Clarke is BIOL-350: Evolu-

tionary Biology, one of the few seminarstyle courses offered by the department.

“As of now, Evolutionary Biology has 38 students in it, whereas in the past the enrollment cap was 20 to 24 students.

Given the discussion format, it’s one of the few classes in the department that necessitates a small class size. And the small size is what students most like about the class,” said Clarke.

Although Clarke was able to get into all of his first-choice class, he says that other senior biology majors were not as lucky.

“There are senior biology majors who need to take a required class and are on the wait list, and substantially down on the wait list,” he says. According t0 Clarke, the department is currently devising solutions for individual problems, especially those of upperclassmen majors.

Clarke attributes the increased class sizes and long wait lists in his department to the fact that faculty growth has not matched increased student demand.

“The student population in the biology department has grown since I’ve been here, but the faculty hasn’t,” he said.

Although the department hires visiting professors, these professors serve as sabbatical replacements.

As a result of student frustrations regarding pre-registration, the ASWC Student Affairs Committee released a survey last Thursday, Nov. 11 in order to gauge student concerns, challenges and problems they faced during registration. As of the time of publication, the survey had received 506 responses; it will remain open

through the weekend.

Of all respondents, 61.4 percent said they experienced difficulty registering for classes they needed for major or distribution requirements. Sixty-seven percent rated their overall satisfaction with course availability as poor or very poor.

“There are students who are REGISTR ATION page 12

by MOLLY JOHANSON Staff Reporter

APPLETON WITH GOODMAN

College bookstore fails to abide by textbook disclosure law

AXTELL !"#$%&"'()#'"(*+,"(#&",-(+..,/,&0(1&(2+)3#'("1(4&$(1#"("5%(21'"(16("5%,.("%7"8119':

by SHELLY LE Staff Reporter

A change to the Higher Education Opportunity Act of 2008 requires colleges

nationwide to provide the price of textbooks and any other materials required for a class at the time of registration. The act intends to help students manage the rising cost of textbooks by requiring col-

lege to disclose the course materials earlier during the registration process.

Although the mandate required colleges to adopt the system as of July 1, 2010, Whitman’s bookstore has not yet complied with this law.

Despite Whitman’s slow response to the law, the bookstore hopes to have a point-of-sale system that also includes a web-based system to inform students which books will be required for classes sometime in the future. According to the Director of the Bookstore Douglas Carlsen, Whitman hopes to integrate the web-based system in the future, but that it would require the bookstore to gain the finances to maintain it. Consequently, the bookstore has had difficulty making the change.

Carlsen hopes to find an easier and more efficient way of informing students, but until the bookstore can manage the finances to maintain a web-based

Tuition discount exceeds ideal rate by 5 percent

system, Carlsen doesn’t expect to be able to provide information for students at the time of registration in the near future. “[The web-based system] is not an easy fix, so we’re trying to find a way to make this easier, without a great deal of additional cost,” he said. “It tends to fall to a lower level of priority.”

According to a 2005 U.S. Government Accountability Office report to Congress, full-time college students at fouryear universities spent on average 898 dollars on textbooks per year--a number that continues to rise. For 2010-11, for instance, Whitman estimates the cost of textbooks and supplies as 1400 dollars. Under the HEOA, students must be informed of their textbooks and their bookstore’s price at the time of registration, allowing them to shop around for the best available price. Additionally, BOOKSTORE , page 3

The average Whitman student’s family is receiving a tuition discount of 40 percent, through scholarships and other institutional financial aid, for the 201011 academic year. This year’s tuition discount rate is the highest it’s been since the 1990s when Whitman attempted to meet 100 percent of all financial need.

An ideal discount rate would be about 35 percent, according to Treasurer Peter Harvey.

At Whitman, this difference between what students pay and the sticker price, or the money given out in scholarships, is not exclusively made up of other students’ tuition money. About half of it comes from Whitman’s $350 million endowment.

The large first-year class size of 438 students, which has high financial need, and higher tuition costs have contributed to this year’s discount rate.

“It’s a larger group with larger need,” said Director of Financial Aid Services Marilyn Ponti.

The student body at Whitman has been steadily rising, from 1,455 in 2006 to approximately 1,535 students this year. This, combined with an increased level of need from returning students, has resulted in the larger need for financial aid.

Having the slightly larger class this year paying slightly more tuition does increase incoming revenue, but it is not something administrators want to rely on.

“We can’t continue having large classes,” Ponti said. “Our goal is to decrease the discount rate and be comfortable when balancing the budget.”

Being comfortable, Harvey explained, has to do with the budget’s contingency.

The contingency is about 25 student’s tuition worth of revenue that allows for wiggle room in the budget.

“It’s very much a balancing act,” Harvey said.

The introduction of need-sensitive admission for the Class of 2015 will help with lowering the discount rate by slightly reducing the number of students who need financial aid.

The trend of higher discount rates can be seen nationwide, according to a survey from the National Association of College and University Business OfDISCOUNT R ATE , page 2

Author Colson Whitehead visits campus

Students work towards Athletes frustrated by dining hall dinner hours civics course on campus

by MCCAULAY SINGERMILNES

Staff Reporter

Staff Reporter

Colson Whitehead, a writer known for his critical, yet humorous commentary on American society, is coming to Whitman College on Thursday, Nov. 18 as part of the ongoing Visiting Writers Reading Series.

Whitehead, who grew up in Manhattan and attended Harvard College, writes fiction, essays and reviews.

Though his work spans various genres, the themes and styles present throughout his collection of works often are in dialogue with one another.

“His first novel is often considered something called ‘afro-futurism’; it’s a kind of alternate reality, maybe science fiction,” said Assistant Professor of English Christopher Leise. “His second novel is very much like that of Don DeLillo—it’s kind of [a] historical fiction or historiographic fiction. He really thinks about the ways in which history is packaged by contemporary society and how we understand ourselves with respect to our pasts.”

How Whitehead’s latest novel, “Sag Harbor”, varies from his other works will likely be a topic of discussion during the reading series.

WHITEHE AD, page 4

by LIBBY ARNOSTI Walk into Reid Campus Center any given weekday at about 7 p.m. and you will find hordes of hungry varsity athletes grouped around tables in front of Cafe ‘66. Most varsity athletes on meal plans are compelled to eat dinner here almost every night after their practices end since they are not done with their workouts and out of the locker rooms before the last dining hall closes at 7 p.m.

“Our practice times directly coincide with dining hall hours so we are only able to eat at Reid every night,” said first-year volleyball player Maddy Bell.

Some athletes see this as an opportunity to hang out more with their teammates. “[Eating at Reid every night] doesn’t bother me. I like the ability to bond with the team after practice by eating together,” said Bell.

Others see the current system as problematic.

“Almost everyone on my team is running low on flex dollars, and some people, because they don’t want to add more money, have to eat dinner in their rooms. At the end of the semester, I will have meals left over and not

enough flex,” said first-year basketball player Catelyn Webber. “It would be great if meal times for dinners were either later or went longer.”

Whitman Bon Appetit General Manager Roger Edens explained that meal times at Whitman are short in part because there are three full kitchens, which are costly to staff and keep open for long periods of time. As a result, explained Edens, trade-offs must be made.

“Hours of operation must be looked at as a whole: full dinner runs from 5:30-7 p.m. with Cafe ‘66 serving a more limited selection until 9 p.m.”

Bon Appetit works with the Whitman administration to attempt to tailor the meal options to fit Whitman students’ unique needs.

“Meal Plan A--with 500 flex dollars and 160 dining hall meals--was specifically designed to be an accommodation to student athletes,” said Edens. “Jewett’s dinner end time was pushed up from 6:45 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. specifically as an accommodation to student athletes.”

Additionally, what used to be a limited snack bar in Reid became a full kitchen and grill. This change was made largely to address the needs of athletes and other students who are BON APPETIT, page 6

by ALYSSA GOARD Staff Reporter

Last spring, Ralph Nader--consumer advocate, lawyer, author and former presidential candidate--filled Cordiner Hall with his presentation, “Going Green: Getting it to the Bottom Line.”

Among the thought-provoking topics and opinions Nader shared, one of the most warmly-received in the Whitman community was his call for civic engagement courses on college campuses.

Sophomores Lesli Meekins and Diana Boesch are among a group of four students who waited to see if anyone would take Nader’s call to action seriously. When no one else took the lead on a creating the suggested civic skills course, the team took matters into their own hands.

Based off of the curricula of similar courses at schools such as Mills College, Harvard and the University of Illinois, the group has already drafted a syllabus for the course. The five to six week course would be taught by professors from several departments and would be offered for one or two credits. Proposed topics covered would include what an informed citizen should know about government, legal and social methods of engagement in politics and more direct interaction with the political process,

such as through a field trip to the state capitol.

Despite the group’s organization, it has been a challenge to muster the support previously displayed during Nader’s lecture in the Whitman student body today.

“The biggest road block for us now is the lack of student response. We are hoping to have students help us to design this course in a way that best suits their needs and interests, but it is difficult to gauge student interest when only a few people have responded to our emails,” said Meekins.

College students are often chided in the political sphere for being apathetic or reactionary, and this course may guide Whitman students towards debunking this stereotype.

“Whitties are very interested in their surroundings, but when push comes to shove we don’t always know how to apply what we’ve learned in a positive way, especially when we’re bogged down with midterms and papers,” said Boesch.

When students were polled about their interest in the civics course, they offered a mixed response depending on their other course workload and major requirements.

“The course itself sounds interesting, but I feel that more politics majors and CIVICS, page 2

NEWS

2

November 18, 2010

R EGISTRATION: Faculty seeks to add courses  page 1 really worried that they’re not going to be able to graduate on time or be able to study abroad,” said senior ASWC Student Affairs Chair John Loranger. “It’s ridiculous that you have students who [are considering taking] summer school in order to finish their majors on time for thousands of dollars when they’re already paying 50,000 dollars to this institution.”

Loranger attributes this registration season’s overwhelming unavailability of courses to enrollment pressure and course compression, the offering of too many courses in a relatively small number of approved time slots.

“We have the largest student body ever, and yet we have not hired enough faculty.

The growth of our faculty size has not kept pace with the growth of our student body,” said Loranger.

The majority of upperclassmen surveyed said they believed that the average class size has risen over the past few years.

According to Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn, the office of faculty added six courses in both the fall 2010 and spring 2011 semesters.

“The net effect was to add about 500 enrollment spots over the course of the academic year,” Kaufman-Osborn said in an e-mail.

When students surveyed by ASWC were asked if they would enroll in an-

APPLETON other section of a course they wanted for their major or for distribution if it was offered at 8 a.m., 75.7 percent responded yes; when the same question was posed for the noon hour, 79.2 percent said yes.

“By the end of the year, we should be able to do a much better job of ensuring that, in any given semester, courses are adequately spread throughout the day,” said Kaufman-Osborn.

Many students attribute this year’s registration frustrations with the college’s shift from a 3-3 to a 3-2 teaching load, and many believe that course unavailability is due to the fact that more professors taught their three courses in the fall rather than in the spring, a fact that has not been verified by the office of faculty.

“So many other colleges put things in place before making the shift to a 3-2

vcourse load in order to alleviate the pressure they knew was coming,” said Loranger. “Yet Whitman didn’t really do any of that in terms of putting in a system of curriculum management that would address course compression and those sorts of issues before the switch.”

Last week, the Faculty approved a draft proposal for the establishment of a curriculum committee. “[The committee] should help in future years by addressing the compression of too many courses offered in the same time slots; by helping students plan better for studying abroad by providing preliminary information about what will be offered the following year; [and] by addressing any problems that might arise were the classes offered in fall versus spring to get out of balance in the future,”

said Andrea Dobson, associate professor of astronomy and general studies and chair of the faculty in an e-mail.

As per Dobson, student leadership is to be consulted by the committee, although students will not have membership on it, a detail that ASWC finds disconcerting.

“Students need to be there because they’re the ones experiencing the curriculum everyday from varying perspectives,” said Loranger. According to him, student representation was not included in the proposal on the grounds that the committee will be both discussing confidential information and information that is not relevant to students. Loranger, however, believes that student representatives who sit on college and faculty committees such as the Budget Affairs Committee and the Council of Student

Affair have proven their ability to maintain confidentiality and contends that students could simply be asked to leave the room during discussions not pertaining to them. “[ASWC is] going to work very hard to show the faculty that students can’t be excluded from this committee,” he said.

“I understand that this is an important question for ASWC and I am discussing with [ASWC President senior] Carson Burns and John Loranger the means by which the question of student membership on this committee may be brought to the faculty for a vote,” said Dobson in response to ASWC’s concerns.

In order to address immediate pre-registration concerns, Kaufman-Osborn has said he will continue to explore opportunities to add additional seats in courses as well the addition of entire course sections when possible in order to respond to the interests of underclassmen and January starts. Since the beginning of pre-registration, the college has added a section of ENVS 120: Introduction to Environmental Studies and PSYCH 110: Introduction to Psychology. REL 260: Religion in America, Civil War to Present and HIST 325: Women and Gender in Islamic Society were also added for the spring course offerings. Kaufman-Osborn will release a letter to the student body addressing preregistration and enrollment issues in the coming week.

CIVICS:"5*%+%'/'*3"'6$737"$*",8(('*3",-+77'7 DISCOUNT!"#$%&'(")*+*,$+-"  page 1 less of the chemistry [to] biology majors would be interested,” said sophomore Chris Andrews.

“I would definitely take it,” said senior Jay Richards. “I am a politics major and I still lose track of what’s going on in the world politically sometimes.”

The group of students putting on the seminar plans to engage in dialogue with interested professors in hopes of having a working course by the fall semester of 2011.

However, students don’t necessarily need to learn civic engagement skills through such a targeted class. Associate Professor of Politics Aaron BobrowStrain, speaking personally, said that learning about civic engagement occurs through a variety of existing courses, though he’d be happy for there to be ad-

ditional opportunities.

“There are already courses, in the Politics department and in other departments, that promote civic engagement and social change in different forms,” he said in an e-mail. “There are community-based research courses, classes that partner students with local non-profits, classes that involve internships or volunteer work, classes where students meet with activist groups (both local and non-local), classes where students are asked to submit op-eds about public policy. There’s even a course that gives students experience lobbying in Olympia. I think that it would be great to have more courses and more support from the college for experimenting with different approaches to civic engagement. I’d hate to see all those diverse approaches to civic engagement collapsed into one class that was supposed to be

the class on civic engagement.”

Students and members of the Whitman community who are interested in learning about or helping to start up the new civics seminar are invited to drop by the Fine Arts House at 7 p.m.

Thursd a y , Dec. 2 for desserts and an informat iona l discussion.

CANEPA

*''."/+0"1'"+"23('*.4

 page 1 ficers in the Chronicle of Higher Education. In 2007, the average national tuition discount rate was for full-time first-year students was 39.1 percent, up sharply from 26.7 percent in 1990. The percentage of full-time first-years receiving a scholarship from their college grew from 62 to almost 82 percent between 1990 to 2007.

“We worry that we’re seeing a trend,” said Ponti. “Need is getting higher and we need to see what’s causing that and if we can make a difference.”

The way that discount rate manifests depends greatly on the college. At Pomona College, all scholarships are need-based, and all scholarship money comes from the endowment. At Reed College, all scholarships are need based as well, but the institution has been giving increasingly

more every year, and, like Whitman, part of the scholarship money comes from the endowment while the other part comes from student tuition revenue.

“The level of discount this year is unprecedented,” said ASWC Finance Chair and junior Matt Dittrich. “But in the context of these grave economic times, it is only appropriate to attempt to meet the higher financial needs of our peers.”

Dittrich serves on the President’s Budget Advisory Committee, which meets annually to propose the schools budget for salaries, facilities and student scholarships with regard to tuition revenue and endowment income.

Because some of the endowments are specific to funding facilities and salaries “even those who pay full tuition are not paying the full cost of the education they are receiving,” Harvey said. Tuition at Whitman would be approximately 50 percent more if it weren’t for the endowments.

ADVERTISEMENT

KLAG

Exhibit responds to media portrayal of suicides The Whitman College Coalition Against Homophobia put on an exhibit last Friday, Nov. 12 in response to the recent suicides in the LGBTQ youth community. This issue has received national media coverage, and is often presented through many different lenses. By streaming YouTube videos from the It Gets Better Project, the Make It Better Project and an address from President Obama, the exhibit aimed to present the different ways in which the suicides have been covered in the media. Also included were portraits of several victims and a room containing note paper where visitors could reflect and share their thoughts. The exhibit was followed by an intimate discussion where the pros and cons of each campaign were discussed, along with people’s personal feelings about the suicides and potential solutions.

the Pioneer

EDITORIAL POLICY

whitman news, delivered.

EDITORIAL

PRODUCTION

WRITING

BUSINESS

Editor-in-Chief Molly Smith

Production Manager Ben Lerchin

NEWS

Publisher Derek Thurber

News Editor Josh Goodman A&E Editor CJ Wisler

Senior Production Associate Sally Boggan Production Associates Cindy Chang, Bo Erickson, Miriam Kolker, Abigail Sloan, Meg Vermilion

Opinion Editors Heather Nichols­Haining Gary Wang

Infographic Designer Maggie Appleton

Sports Editor Nick Wood

Copy Editors Maggie Ayau, John Lee

Humor Editors Simi Singh Finn Straley

PHOTOGR APHY

Photography Editor Jack Lazar

Marin Axtell, Julia Bowman, Isabel Hong, David Jacobson, Kendra Klag, Ethan Parrish, Zach Rosenberg

Senior Copy Editor Jenna Mukuno

ILLUSTR ATION Jea Alford, Sarah Canepa, Emily Johnson, Olivia Johnson, Binta Loos­Diallo, Rex Rolle, Carrie Sloane, Erika Zinser

Alyssa Goard, Molly Johanson, Hadley Jolley, Karah Kemmerly, Shelley Le, Joe Volpert, Will Witwer

A&E

Circulation Associates Aviv Bridge, Alexandra Murray, Kira Peterson

Ellie Gold, Nate Lessler, Sean McNulty, McCaulay Singer­Milnes

Webmaster Rebecca Fish

OPINION Dingli, Rachel Alexander, Allison Bolgiano, Zach Duffy, Blair Frank, Lauren McCullough

SPORTS Libby Arnosti, Tyler Hurlburt, Pamela London, Matt Manley

HUMOR Toby Alden, Emily Basham, Maggie Eismeier, Ailie Kerr, Johanna Otico

ADVERTISING Advertising Manager Anna Taylor Advertising Associates Dana Fong, Phuong Pham, Brian Vieth Advertising Designer Olivia Clingman­White

The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student­run news­ paper published under the auspices of the Associated Stu­ dents of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whit­ man students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman­related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting free­ dom of the press. In addition, the Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

SUBMISSION POLICY

Letters to Editor may be submitted to The Pioneer via e­mail at editors@whitmanpioneer.com or sent to The Pioneer, Whitman Col­ lege, Walla Walla, WA, 99362. All submissions must be received by 4 p.m. on Saturday prior to the week that they are intended to appear. All submissions must be attributed and may be edited for concision and fluency.

CODE OF ETHICS

The code of ethics serves as The Pioneer’s established guidelines for the practice of responsible journalism on campus, within reasonable interpre­ tation of the editorial board. These guidelines are subject to constant re­ view and amendment; responsibility for amending the code of ethics is as­ signed to the Editor­in­Chief and Publisher in conjunction with the editorial board. The code of ethics is reviewed at least once per semester.

To access the complete code of ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about.

For information about advertising in The Pioneer or to purchase a subscription, contact business@whitmanpioneer.com.

NEWS

November 18, 2010

3

ASWC goes green with environmental initiatives

by HADLEY JOLLEY Staff Reporter

The chosen color of the Sunday, Nov. 14 ASWC Senate meeting was green--unanimously.

On the agenda were two resolutions throwing ASWC support behind environmental initiatives and a vote on appropriating money to make the resolutions a reality. All three passed unanimously.

One resolution, the Washington Beyond Coal resolution, displayed ASWC’s support of closing down Washington’s sole coal power plant, the TransAlta plant in Centralia. The proposal was created by the Sierra Student Coalition as a way to show favor for shutting the coal plant down permanently.

The Whitman proposal was sponsored

by Campus Climate Challenge, which altered the language of the proposal slightly and tailored it to campus needs.

“I worked with Ari Frink and the sophomore class committee several times to work through the resolution, making it Whitman specific and relevant. We added a few clauses and some data on the coal plant. It went through Student Affairs, and they asked for a few revisions, which we made, and they passed it,” wrote freshman Claire Meints, one of the sponsors of the resolution, in an e-mail.

The modified resolution contains information about how much energy the plant supplies--about 10 percent of the state’s energy--as well as the environmental effects of the resolution. The proposal also calls for replacing the lost electricity and jobs with renewable energy projects in the region.

“It’s also about instituting a new energy source,” said Meints.

The second resolution outlined ASWC’s support for both a faculty sustainability coordinator and increased funding for environmental initiatives, including initiatives that do not fit the specific requirements of the Whitman Sustainability Revolving Loan Fund. An additional vote awarded 19,130 dollars from the savings fund to pay for oncampus environmental initiatives that were not being otherwise funded. Of this figure, 6,475 dollars will go towards the ASWC endowment, which funds Service Learning Organizations and the Organic Garden, while 3,826 dollars will go towards the general Travel and Student Development fund.

These funds are an isolated influx of money. Matt Dittrich, Finance Chair and one of the developers of the proposal, hopes that it will prove successful enough to remain permanent.

Senior senator Gary Wang supported the project because he worried that good

AXTELL

First­year senator Kayvon Behroozian ‘14 raises his hand to speak at the ASWC senate meeting on Sunday, Nov. 14. ASWC passed several environmental initiatives at the meeting including funding over 19,000 dollars for on­campus environmental projects.

projects were not being funded because the main source of Whitman funding, the Sustainability Revolving Loan Fund, has such strict requirements, including the requirement that the project pays for itself within five years.

“It’s really hard to get a sustainability project that will pay back in five years,” said Wang.

After the proposal’s passing, Dittrich showed his gratitude to the Senate.

“Thank you for making this person’s

dream come true. I’m really excited about this. Let’s try to cultivate something here,” he said.

Students will be able to apply for funding through the Finance Committee after Thanksgiving break.

International students left out of loop when news hits home

by WILL WITWER Staff Reporter

never know if it’s true or not.”

Doowa’s particularly extreme circumstances highlight one difference between international students and their American peers: news from home, particularly disastrous news, can be incredibly isolating. Maherin Ahmed, from Bangladesh, explained that though she loves Whitman, she is homesick 24 hours a day, seven days a week, mainly because of how different everything appears. According to Ahmed, if any kind of national catastrophe happens back home, the college bubble doesn’t allow students to process the tragedy on an emotional or practical level.

“My freshman year there was a huge flood in my country,” said Ahmed. “That was kind of difficult for me, especially because when you’re far away you’re more concerned because you don’t know exactly what’s going on . . . At the beginning it was very very hard for me to grasp that people were not understanding where I’m coming

Imagine the commercial district of one of the world’s biggest cities forced to a halt for t two months of protest. Imagine a deposed m dictator attempting to return to power by t staging those protests, paying people to camp out on the largest street of the city.

- Imagine the protests turning violent. Now r imagine living at Whitman last spring e while all this was going on and having to , take exams and write papers, all the while t filled with worry. Meet Rimmy Doowa, an international student from Bangkok, - Thailand. s “Being at Whitman, having to take ext ams and everything and deal with this, it - was incredibly difficult,” said Doowa. “I see cretly cried once because I was so worried.

Especially when you’re not home, and you e can’t see exactly what’s happening, the mes dia seems to overstate everything, but you t ADVERTISEMENT y t 0 -

from, and I also realized that I could not give a practical explanation. Now I think I have learned to deal with it myself more.”

Both Ahmed and Doowa are in regular contact with their families through Skype, though Ahmed said that her parents try to hide bad domestic news by not mentioning negative stories. If and when there is an earthquake or another natural disaster, a realistic concern, Ahmed and her parents will continue to talk.

“I think it’s difficult for my parents to give me death news, of relatives and friends or people who we have known for a really long time. I think they are worried how I’ll take it,” said Ahmed. “Usually they don’t tell me that people have died, and then after a year I find out that they are dead, when I go back home and they say, ‘Oh this aunt passed away’ or whatever.”

During Thailand’s spring strife, however, Doowa and her parents were in an almost constant state of open conversation.

Much of her information would come at times of high stress because she would talk with her parents over Skype around 2 a.m.

(Thailand is 14 hours ahead). Though her family remained safe, the level of violence was incredibly worrisome, and the damage had a negative impact on tourism, Thailand’s primary industry. Doowa remembers seeing a picture of the Sky Train she had once ridden extensively covered in barbed wire, shut down.

Kris Barry, international student and scholar advisor, explained that whenever she and the school knows about a problem like this, they attempt to provide whatever support they can. Especially compared with a state school, the international community at Whitman is small, and the school devotes significant resources for support.

“Usually, there’s an amazing amount of support, as compared to other campuses,” said Berry. “We know the students better,

they aren’t just a number.”

Though many Whitman students and professors expressed concern, and though it was always well-intentioned, Doowa’s situation became hard to deal with.

“When someone comes up to you, with a really sad pity face and puts their hand on your shoulder, it’s really hard to just be like, ‘Yeah, I’m fine!’” said Doowa.

Though Doowa found it hard to be a student, combined with her activities as a member of SCHWA and president of SASA, being in the Whitman bubble was oddly comforting. Though she followed the events of last spring closely, it was much easier to focus on college.

“Whitman just kept me really busy, in a good way, getting things done, being productive,” said Doowa. “Basically being in kind of a Whitman bubble, but not really. Being aware of the outside world, but knowing that Whitman is more important right now. What are you gonna do?”

BOOKSTORE: Cost of online system impedes bookstore from complying with HEOA  page 1 students are only able to take advantage of free shipping from websites such as Amazon.com when they are able to wait up to two weeks for textbooks to arrive, something they cannot do if they don’t know what books they need until they arrive on campus.

Junior Liz Reetz, co-president of the First Generation Working Class student group, is frustrated that the bookstore has made little progress towards posting course materials during registration.

“It’s about having options, and I don’t think there’s an excuse not to carry it out,” she said.

Reetz noted that she has found textbooks online for much cheaper than in the bookstore.

“My [astronomy] book was 20 dollars online, and it was over 100 dollars in the bookstore,” she said.

Assistant Professor of Chemistry Allison Calhoun also stressed the need for ADVERTISEMENT

Whitman to implement an information system soon.

“I think it would be helpful if the bookstore could introduce the system sooner. It doesn’t make sense to me,” she said.

Calhoun also said that the difficulty in introducing an information system for students also lies with professors.

“It can be very very difficult to tell what books will be needed for a class at registration, often we don’t have our syllabi done by that time,” she said.

Reetz hopes that faculty can make a small sacrifice for students to be able to afford textbooks.

“I understand professors are busy and have a lot to do, but it’s important,” she said.

Other students are also frustrated at professors’ and the bookstore’s delay in providing information to students.

“I don’t think it’s that difficult; I’d understand if it was hard to do, but it’s not,” said first-year Ben Menzies. “Obviously

professors know what books they’ll use in their class, there’s no reason for them not to make that information available.”

Although the deadline for professors to inform the bookstore of the textbooks they will use next semester was Tuesday, Nov. 16, required textbooks for classes will not be publicly posted until right before spring semester.

Carlsen isn’t certain when the bookstore will have textbook listings at the time of registration as required, but said students can call or e-mail the bookstore to find out.

“We invite students to call or e-mail us and we’ll provide information,” he said.

Registrar Ron Urban remains hopeful for the bookstore’s future information program to develop.

“I think the idea is a good one,” he said. “Implementation difficulties that weren’t anticipated will always come up, but if we wait a little longer, it will be perfected.”

A&E

The Pioneer ISSUE 10 NOV 18, 2010 Page 4

WHITEHEAD: Writer to visit campus Nov. 18  page 1

PHOTOS BY KLAG Students who opt to stay in Walla Walla over Thanksgiving break can enjoy a variety of activities and events, including the chal­ lenge of preparing and serving a home­cooked meal or enjoying dinner conversation with President George Bridges.

Students spend break in Walla Walla

by NATE LESSLER Staff Reporter

As there is a mass exodus of students from the campus over the next few days, students who are staying on campus over Thanksgiving break might find themselves without much to do. The Pioneer provides nine suggestions for indoor activities and entertainment for each of the nine days of break.

Get addicted to a new TV show: Over the past few decades the quality of television has increased drastically. Nevertheless, there is nothing worse than getting addicted to a great television show during a schoolwork-heavy week when procrastination is the last thing you need. With a week off and not much else to do, consider using Hulu, Netflix Watch Instantly, or other online streaming sites in order to catch up on a favorite show you may have fallen behind on, or get addicted to a new great show. The film selection in the library also includes a number of critically-renowned television shows on DVD such as “The Wire,” “Lost,” and “Slings and Arrows.”

Experience the Celtic Tenors at Cordiner Hall: For students who are interested in experiencing nationally-recognized music without leaving campus, and for those willing to pay some money, on Sunday, Nov. 21, at 3 p.m., the Walla Walla Symphony will present The Celtic Tenors at Cordiner Hall. According to the website of the Walla Walla Symphony, “The Celtic Tenors’ live show is an experience overflowing with vitality and variety from start to finish. Their unique voices, charm and wit combine an emotive journey with a thoroughly uplifting experience.” Tickets prices for students range from $15-$25 and are available online at www.wwsymphony. com.

Catch a flick at Walla Walla Grand Cinema: As most students are aware, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I” opens on Friday the 19th, right before break. So far, pre-screenings of the film have received very positive feedback.

If students choose to see the midnight screening of the film, or are in the mood for something else, best bets for entertainment include the 3-D animated comedy “Megamind” (featuring the voices of Will Ferrell and Brad Pitt) or Denzel Washington’s latest thriller “Unstoppable” (see this week’s film review for more details).

Try a little holiday cooking: With dining halls closing for Thanksgiving break, there is no better time to take to the kitchen. For students who are not experienced with cooking, the holiday season provides a fantastic opportunity to learn how to make an assortment of cookies and treats.

The Internet provides a great resource for recipes, and even “Bon Appetit” has online recipes available. For directions on how to make maple chocolate-chip shortbread visit: www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2010/10/ maple_and_chocolate_chip_shortbread Visit Penrose Library: At first, this may sound like the last thing students want to do over break. But consider curling up with an enjoyable book in front of the fireplace in the quiet room. The library also includes a great selection of films (especially documentaries and foreign films) that will likely appeal to many students more than most of the movies currently playing in Walla Walla--not to mention, rentals are free.

ADVERTISEMENT

Some recommendations include: “Seven Samurai”, “Chinatown”, “The Royal Tenenbaums”, “The White Ribbon”, “Precious”, “Jules et Jim” and “Almost Famous.” The library will be open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. throughout break, except for on the 25th and 26th.

Join George Bridges for Thanksgiving dinner: Each year President Bridges hosts a Thanksgiving dinner for students who stay on campus over the week of Thanksgiving break. The event provides students with a great Thanksgiving dinner, as well as a chance to meet the President and other students they not have met otherwise. The dinner will occur on Nov. 26th. The time and location will be announced next week.

Cheer on the Whitman men’s basketball team: In the days following Thanksgiving, the Whitman men’s basketball team will be hosting the Walla Walla Vineyard Inn Classic. The games against Eastern Oregon University and Northwest University mark the first home games of the men’s 2010-2011 season, and provide a great opportunity for students on campus over break to cheer their home team on. This is also the men’s first season with new coach Eric Bridgeland. The Classic will consist of four games and will take place in Sherwood at 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Nov. 26th and 27th. Whitman men’s team will be playing at 8 p.m. on both days.

Watch Liberty Theater’s production of “The Music Man”: Meredith Willson’s classic musical “The Music Man” is currently playing at Walla Walla’s local community theater. “The Music Man” tells the story of a con man who, while trying to swindle a small town, falls in love with the town’s library. This production marks the 10th anniversary of Liberty Theater and will feature many of the cast members from the theater original production of “The Music Man” and pay tribute to director of Liberty Theater’s original production, who passed away at the start of November. Tickets are available at the box office. Performances are November 24 at 7 p.m., November 27 at 3 and 7 p.m. and November 28 at 3 p.m.

“’Sag Harbor’ is the first work I have read of his and it has been described very differently from his other works, such as ‘The Intuitionist’ and ‘Apex Hides the Hurt’, for its autobiographical nature and similarities to a ‘coming of age’ novel,” said senior Allison Munn. “[However], a consistency I found in his works . . . is his tendency to create professional, affluent, black characters as opposed to the traditional slave narrative that is so often seen from [AfricanAmerican] authors.”

Whitehead’s novels have the ability to draw students outside of their Whitman experiences, asking them to consider aspects of life which may be unfamiliar to them.

“I think it’s fair to say Whitehead’s work speaks to a far wider community than just Whitman . . . and that is why it should be particularly interesting to Whitman students,” said junior Philip Hofius. “Whitman prides itself on fostering students who are able to look outside the classroom to be educated and to apply what they’ve learned, and Whitehead is a perfect example of this.”

According to Leise, Whitehead’s work engages a wider audience than just college students because it often makes critical commentaries on contemporary American society as a whole. “[Whitehead’s work is] relevant to Whitman as much as it’s relevant to the larger fabric of American society,” said Leise. “He is an incredibly astute commentator on the influence of prepackaged or idiomatic thought on everyday

life; he is incredibly observant, and yet has ways of making very particular experiences meaningful to a pretty broad audience.”

Whitehead’s novels have been topics of study and discussion in multiple English and creative writing classes on campus. “‘The Intuitionist’, a book we’ve read in Modern American [Literature], is an allegorical novel about the ways ideological frameworks, be they racial, spiritual, or ethical, tend to force us into ways of reading the world which create meaning without contemplation of further possibilities,” said Hofius. “I think reading Whitehead closely will necessitate a change to the way you perceive yourself without completely disheartening you.”

According to Munn, students reading his work for the English senior seminar class have found his work interesting as well.

“Our seminar class of five students has really enjoyed ‘Sag Harbor’. While it recounts the protagonist Benji’s summer experiences of 1985, it puts darker and heavier material, like Benji’s abusive father and racial segregation, into a book that’s just funny—you can’t read it without laughing,” said Munn.

Leise chose to teach Whitehead’s works for various reasons.

“I think he’s very funny,” said Leise.

“His work is really intelligent and subtle, and so it leads to a wide ranging and really interesting conversations in class, with a lot of different reactions.”

Colson Whitehead will speak in Maxey Auditorium on Thursday, Nov. 18 at 7 p.m.

BOWMAN The Peach and Pear, which opened on Oct. 13 of this year, uses less sugary frozen yogurts. Owner Beth Gennette creates an array homemade fruit sauces.

New Peach and Pear eatery brings frozen yogurt to Walla Walla

by SEAN MCNULTY Staff Reporter

For 15 years, Beth Gennette owned a garden center in northern New Mexico. She moved to Walla Walla for a number of reasons: to live closer to her sister, explore the wine community and to start up a restaurant business.

“I spend a few months just thinking and looking, and seeing, well, what this community could really use,” said Gennette. “I was over in Bellevue, and I went to Red Mango, and we had the original tart . . . and I said ‘That’s it. That’s the business I want to do.”

On October 13, Gennette opened The Peach and Pear, a frozen yogurt shop. The small shop, which is located downtown on First Street, doesn’t put on any airs.

There’s a handful of tables, some spare decorations and two flavors to choose from. Peach and Pear is Gennette’s first frozen yogurt venture. Although she’s worked in the restaurant industry, the shop is still unexplored territory.

“I knew it would be do-able,” said Genette, “so I just jumped right in. We created this. I’ve been a cook in the past, too.

I really love food . . . I wanted to find a product that would be easy and do-able.”

Gennette contacted a Portland-based distributor called YoCream after trying Red Mango in Bellevue, Wash. In terms of product, Gennette claims she’s uninterested in the saccharine, processed frozen yogurt—ice cream imitations that share little with actual yogurt beyond the name.

The Peach and Pear offers a different sort of frozen yogurt entirely.

“It’s like a new generation of yogurt, from the old days, from, you know, ten to twenty years ago; this is a much lighter, more flavorable yogurt,” said Gennette.

“It’s not so heavily sugared that all you taste is sugary sweet. You taste flavor.”

Right now, there are only two flavors

of yogurt available: chocolate and original tart. Both are made with real probiotics—the bacteria which convert milk into yogurt—rather than chemicals. The original tart is fermented during the process, which lends a sharp edge to its taste.

“There seems to be two types of people; either they’re attracted to the tart, which I was attracted to, and then other people are more attracted to the chocolate,” said Gennette. “They just have different taste buds, so it just depends on the person.”

The tangy edge present in the tart goes well with fresh fruit—either sliced or in one of the homemade sauces which Gennette serves. The chocolate can be mixed with the house coffee, which is steeped overnight in a cold press to reduce the acidic, bitter taste. While Gennette plans to expand to more machines and flavors, for now she’s satisfied with two.

One of the highlights of The Peach and Pear, however, are the homemade sauces.

Customers can order blackberry, peach mango, strawberry or pomegranate. In the future, Gennette plans to experiment with Merlot to create wine. There’s a host of twenty toppings, as well—things that can be sprinkled, poured, dribbled and plopped onto the yogurt to give it extra zest.

Within the space of a month, the yogurt shop has built up a small following. Gennette has extended the weekend hours because of demand. Between residents of the town and population of sweet-toothed college students, Walla Walla has a viable market for frozen yogurt.

“What I kind of like about Walla Walla too is having the universities here,” said Gennette. “The younger people seem to be more in tune with this. This is a little fresher and they seem to really like that.”

The Peach and Pear is open from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. during the week and 11 a.m.7:30 p.m. on Friday and Saturday.

A&E

November 18, 2010

5

T HRIF T Y WHI T T IES

MOVIE REVIEW

Making homemade sushi rice

“Unstoppable” offers thrills, little depth

by OLIVIA JONES Columnist

My housemates and I split dinner duty, so each of us cooks one meal per week and-supposedly--each of us cleans up after one meal per week. Since this equates with only cooking once per week, we often like to get creative and make experimental or elaborate dinners.

However, there are those weeks when I don’t have the time to leaf through our collection of cookbooks or Internet food blogs to plan something. On these nights I draw upon my repertoire of easy, well-received meals. If avocados are on sale, chances are it is going to be rollyour-own-sushi night.

In my experience, it’s hard to go wrong with roll-your-own-sushi night. Everybody can choose what he or she wants and how much. Fillings can be acquired on the cheap, and prep and clean up is pretty simple. I like to cut the nori (sheets of seaweed) into quarters so that everyone can make little rolls without the hassle of bamboo mats and slicing the rolls into pieces. Budget-friendly fillings I recommend are surimi (fake crab), cucumber, avocado, carrot, tofu, burdock (if you can find it), and whatever else looks good in the produce section. To prepare

your ingredients for your sushi-making extravaganza, you just have to remove any peels and chop them into thin slices no longer than three inches. Don’t forget to buy soy sauce and wasabi! I recommend the paste wasabi that comes in a tube over the powdered wasabi, as it has more of a bite and you don’t have to take the time to prepare it.

The key to making sushi at home that tastes like real sushi CANEPA i s in the rice. Please refer to my earlier article on properly cooking rice; all “Thrifty Whitties” columns are available on the Whitman Pio website. To season three cups of rice, heat 2/5 cup of rice vinegar and stir in 1 tsp of salt. Start making the vinegar mixture when the rice

is almost done, or after it has finished and while you are allowing it to cool slightly.

Japanese cooking is usually too sweet for my tastes, so I choose to only add 1 tbsp sugar: use your discretion. Once the sugar and salt have dissolved set the mixture aside and transfer the rice to a wide bowl with a fairly flat bottom.

Ask a housemate to help you fan the rice while you mix in the vinegar. I often hand my housemates a magazine, or whatever is on hand that looks like it will generate some airflow. Not only do you need to cool the rice before using it, but also fanning it while mixing in the vinegar will help the rice form a nice glossy finish. With your free hand, run a rice paddle, or wooden spoon through the bowl or rice in horizontal cuts while you slowly drizzle the vinegar mixture over it.

I usually make a tic-tac-toe pattern in the rice with my strokes. Once all of the vinegar has been added, fold the rice over with your paddle a few times to make sure it is well mixed and then you are ready to go.

When setting the table for sushi night, remember a small plate or bowl for soy sauce. I recommend just eating with your fingers, especially if you are making quarter-sized rolls. If you want, you can accompany the meal with miso soup or really whatever you want. Have fun, and be creative with your fillings.

T ELEVISION REVIEW

!"#$%&'()*+,%-$'./%0#123$0%4+54%678% lineup with gripping atmosphere, drama

by SEAN MCNULTY Staff Reporter

“The Walking Dead”, a much-discussed show adapted from the comic book written by Robert Kirkman, shambled onto AMC this past Halloween in nearly one hundred and twenty countries. It was a full-scale, cinematic invasion—much like the fictional zombie apocalypse around which the show is built—and delivered with gleeful slaughterhouse panache. This is a beautiful, lonely show, which owes its success in part to swanky 16-mm camera shots and in part to the big money AMC gets from the success of “Mad Men.” In its own right, “The Walking Dead” shoots for the production values and gore of “True Blood” or “Dexter,” and, in many ways, succeeds admirably.

There are plenty of shows on television right now borrowing from the language of horror movies. “Dexter” takes the familiar elements of crime drama like “CSI”, dismembers them and rearranges them in the pattern of a slasher film.“Fringe”, in the tradition of “The Twilight Zone”, takes throwaway science fiction concepts and tries them out for a single episode. “The Walking Dead”, however, has enough brains not to pare down the massive tradition of zombie narratives in order to fit them onto the small screen: It goes forward with the budget and commitment of a Hollywood blockbuster.

In the first few minutes, we follow sher-

PIO PICKS

Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla over the weekend. Here are this week’s picks: “Pride & Prejudice”: Walla Walla High School presents its final performances of “Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice,” an adaptation of the novel

by Jon Jory. The performances will be on Thursday and Friday, Nov. 18 and 19 at 7 p.m. and on Saturday, Nov. 20 at 2 p.m. Tickets are 12 dollars. Call (509) 526-8613 to reserve tickets.

Walla Walla Symphony Free Family Food-raiser Concert: The Walla Walla Symphony will play “Mr. Smith’s Composition” by Gregory Smith and the Gwyneth Walker Rogers Elementary Chorus will sing “Gentle Blessings” on Thursday, Nov. 18 from 7-9 p.m. in Cordiner Hall.

The food bank will be taking donations of non-perishable canned goods at the concert.

Live @ Sapolil - The Cut, Can You Make It?: Local musicians compete for the title of best local band at Sapolil Cellars on Friday, Nov. 20 from 8-11 p.m. Guests vote for their favorite musicians with drink purchases and the winner takes home 100 dollars or more. Call Rick Phillips to get on the docket at (509) 386-5614. No cover charge.

iff Rick Grimes from a bloody shootout to an empty hospital. There’s plenty in the opening scene that borrows from the opening of zombie classic “28 Days Later”—the recently comatose protagonist, the urban sets depopulated by disaster and the serene silence made more terrify-

AMC’s ‘The Walking Dead’ ing by the following reveal of the titular dead. A stairwell sequence, lit only by two sputtering matches, is taut and incredibly deliberate. This isn’t your little brother’s hyper-caffeinated, flavorless-but-consumable television drama. It’s horror, real horror, which succeeds wildly by interjecting pace and patience into television. It’s sim-

ply gripping to watch.

Where “The Walking Dead” may falter, however, is the hit-or-miss characterization. The pilot introduces a father-son duo squatting in a house that once belonged to Grimes’ neighbors. Trapped in the house, the characters exhibit claustrophobia and grim determination without the melodrama or overacted 1,000-yard stares.

While these characters work well, the second episode (written, directed and shot by completely different people) brings in a whole enclave of poorly-acted survivors.

Distinguishable primarily by race, they are a massive deadweight for the plot. There’s vapid chatter, illogical, forced racial tension and a solid 20 or 30 minutes of wasted airtime. During this space, “The Walking Dead” feels like a SyFy castoff that takes itself more seriously than any television drama ever should. The elements that work—the emptiness and raw terror of the first episode—are totally absent.

What does “The Walking Dead” need?

It needs to jettison the external characters; to focus on the savage emptiness rather than filling it with words; to be bold and brave enough to take TV at a calm, measured pace and to achieve real horror on widely available television. “The Walking Dead” needs to take itself seriously without appearing melodramatic and overly grim. It needs to emphasize that the fading zombie fad of the past few years still has life, drive and hope, and to provide scary, visceral television on Sunday nights.

The film’s train, for example, moves at 70 miles per hour, not 50.

It was only after the screening that I Before “Unstoppable” even begins, the realized that the inclusion of a “based on audience has a good idea how the movie true events” title card at the start of the will end. This is because director Tony film gives a sense of authenticity to the Scott’s (“Man on Fire”) latest high-stakes representation and ultimately distracts thriller is based on the “Crazy Eights” in- from the weak screenplay. The film is cident. During this near-disaster in 2001, thrilling primarily because these events an unmanned freight train carrying toxic really happened. Had the exact same film and combustible materials traveled at been presented as fictional, audiences almost 50 miles per hour across the rail- would have rolled their eyes and scoffed roads of Pennsylvaat how absurd nia in the direction the film was, and of Stanton, Pa. Had would have likely the train derailed paid more attenin Stanton, the tion to the clichéd catastrophic result and stale script. would have made Instead, the audinational news. As ence will likely find such, it is not enthemselves frighttirely a spoiler to ened by the fact reveal that the train that an unmanned does not, in fact, train carrying hazblow up a city. ardous materials Despite its prealmost derailed determined narrainto a major city. tive arc and weak Unlike most screenplay, “Uncontemporary acstoppable” mantion films, the ages to provide 100 audience is incaminutes of highpable of reassuring adrenaline thrills. themselves that the Tony Scott’s ‘Unstoppable’ In these terms the events that occur film is successful. in the film are imThe use of an exciting, overly-dramatic plausible. Although the events are drascore and fast cut handheld sequences matized, there is no way to escape the reheighten the suspense as a veteran engi- ality of what is happening on the screen. neer (Denzel Washington) and a young This is furthered by the fact that much of conductor (Chris Pine) work with the the film was shot on location. The film support of the yardmaster (Rosario Daw- also constantly cuts to staged television son) to stop the train. The poorly-written coverage of the event, in order to provide subplots involving the protagonists’ re- the viewer with a sense of realism and lationship to their families only exist to serves as a plot device to provide the augive the audience a hollow sense of char- dience with poor exposition. acter development. But the movie isn’t “Unstoppable” is ultimately as forgetabout the characters—it’s about a train. table as it is thrilling. If the film does have As I left the theater, I found myself something to say about man’s inability to questioning why the filmmakers would control machines or the disconnect bechoose to produce an action film based tween blue-collar workers and corporate on true events with a predetermined executives, the message is lost under the outcome rather than creating a fictional roar of the high-speed train. Neverthescenario in which the screenwriter has less, “Unstoppable” is probably the most full creative license to do whatever he or entertaining film that will be playing at she wants with the story. In order to jus- Walla Walla Grand Cinemas for the next tify the thrills, “Unstoppable” does take few weeks—at least for students who are a number of creative liberties, however. not fans of Harry Potter.

by NATE LESSLER Staff Reporter

ADVERTISEMENT

KWCW Show of the Week Voice of the Valley “Voice of the Valley” is about the Walla Walla Valley in the broadest sense. Our valley is a wonderful land­ scape filled with fascinating people.

The show covers local history, con­ servation and culture. Past interviews include the mayor of Walla Walla, an American­Indian traditional dancer,

and even Narcissa Whitman herself.

The show seeks to educate while entertaining the listener. Sponsored by the Whitman Mission National Historic Site.

Listen to “Voice of the Valley” ev­ ery Wednesday at 9 a.m. on KWCW 90.5 FM or www.kwcw.net

ADVERTISEMENT

The Pioneer is hiring Applications for editor and management positions for the spring 2011 semester will open Monday, November 29. Positions include: Managing Editor, section editors, Production Manager and Business Manager. !"#"$%&' ()' *(+,-#.' )(+' The Pioneer include: the opportunity to gain writing and editing experience and to build a portfolio of published clips; leadership experience; the ability to network with professional jounralists and Whitman /012#-'*(+,-#.'-#'%3"'4(1+#/0-&2'$"056'/#5'%3"'7(&&-80-%9'()'/%%"#5-#.'4(1+#/0­ ism conferences.

To download a copy of the application or to read a position description, visit whitmanpioneer.com/apply. Applications will close on Friday, December 10.

Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 10 NOV 18, 2010 Page 6

Rugby represents ‘tooth and nail’ commitment

by PAMELA LONDON Staff Reporter

When you combine 22 girls, two goalposts, a muddy field and a ball resembling a football (throw in some rain just for fun), the result is arguably one of the most intense, commitment-driven sports at Whitman College: women’s rugby.

The Whitman women’s rugby team has been in existence since the mid-1990s and is primarily a student-led club team.

Over the years, there has not been a fulltime coach established in the program, resulting in a constantly changing number of players and fluctuations in athletes’ commitment level. In response, the team has been taken over by the students, and, during the last several years, has garnered more commitment and members since its inception.

“My favorite part about coaching rugby is my girls,” said coach Erin Winsper ’07, who has coached the team for all but one year since graduating. “Whether we win or lose, the bonds we have with one another on and off the pitch . . . are what make it worth every minute committed. And I still get to feel [like] a part of Whitman . . . I can still have the chance to feel like I never graduated every once in a while.”

That commitment to one another is something that has united the girls as a team, as well as the passion that runs between team members.

“Give me three weeks of practice and one game,” said junior captain Hannah Johnson. “If you’re not in love with [rugby] by then, fine, but I can almost guarantee that you will be.”

The team knows that rugby is not always viewed as a sport that is appealing to everyone, but they all recognize a shared love for the sport, and that’s all that mat-

SCOREBOARD

Women’s cross country NCAA DIII West Regional 11/13 5th of 17 1. Claremont­Mudd­Scripps 62 2. Whitworth 97 3. Whittier 108 4. Lewis & Clark 114 5. Whitman 169 ...

Men’s cross country NCAA DIII West Regional 11/13 10th of 17 1. Willamette 63 2. Claremont­Mudd­Scripps 65 3. Whitworth 80 ...

10. Whitman 280 ...

Women’s swimming Lewis & Clark 11/12 L, 128­77 !"#$%#&''(') W, 108­97 Men’s swimming Lewis & Clark 11/12 W, 136­66 !"#$%#&''(') W, 128­77

BOWMAN Paloma Sutton­Barnes ‘11 and teammates prepare for a scrum in their November 13 game against Gonzaga University. The 34-./00,#5/06&-445&-./&7"-#.&8$-.&"&9:;<&=$#-40>?&%1$6.$1@&-./&A"BB&C40-$41&4A&-./$0&6/"641&41&"&.$@.&14-/D

ters.

“Rugby isn’t for everyone,” said senior captain Emily Lorente. “Often the sport itself is the tryout process. Our players prove themselves by coming back to practice.”

“I have to admit it has been somewhat overwhelming with our potential in raw athletic talent and knowing that I am responsible for molding them into a rugby team,” said Winsper, reflecting on the development of the program and the dedication of its current members. “It is not the same drinking team with a rugby problem I signed onto in my Whitman career.

These girls are serious about the sport and

are becoming a force to be reckoned with.”

Often considered an overtly daunting sport, with all its presumed hitting and tackling that goes on throughout the course of a practice and games, the team firmly believes that anyone who wants to play rugby can do so easily.

“Anyone can join; all we ask for is dedication and a willingness to learn,” said Johnson.

“Don’t be intimidated by not knowing the rules of the sport,” added Winsper.

“Very few girls that come to play for our team have any idea how the rules work until usually their first game where they can see it all put together.”

The rugby season is split into fall and spring, with the fall consisting of regional college play and the spring oriented around festivals and tournaments hosted by various schools including Whitman. By defeating Gonzaga University 40-5 on November 13, the team finished its fall season that began in September.

At first glance it may appear as though the Whitman women’s rugby team is just a bunch of girls having fun running around on a cold Saturday morning, but beneath these preconceptions what you find is a team dynamic that is competitive, committed and passionate.

Simply put, Saturday is rugby day.

UPCOMING EVENTS Cross country 11/20 NCAA DIII National Championships (Wartburg College) Women’s basketball 11/19­11/20 WHIT classic (Whitworth) 11/26 Northwest University (Away) 11/27 Evergreen State (Away) Men’s basketball 11/19 Multnomah Bible College (Away) 11/20 Portland Bible College (Away) 11/26­11/27 Walla Walla Vineyard Inn Classic (Home) Swimming 11/20­11/21 Northwest Invitational *!"#$%#&+,-./0"12

Whitman swimmers hone technique, BON APPETIT: Athletes call for express enthusiasm as season opens re­examination of meal plans  page 1

ROSENBERG The swim team practices in preparation for the November 20­21 Northwest Invitational. Whitman hopes to make a strong showing at the mid­season meet, establishing themselves as a contender for one of the top spots in the conference.

by MATT MANLEY Staff Reporter

Talk to a swimmer about their team’s nascent 2010-11 season, and one word is bound to come up.

“The team is focused on dedication this season—dedication to each other as teammates, dedication to our competition, dedication to our training,” senior captain Lauren Flynn said.

Apparently, that dedication is already paying off. Led by eleventh-year coach Jenn Blomme, the men’s and women’s squads are 2-0 and 1-1 respectively in dual meets and look competitive to take second on Oct. 30 in the Northwest Conference Relay Invitational. The Missionaries also had four men’s and four women’s top-25 individual finishers at the Northwest Conference Sprint Pentathlon on Oct. 29.

Blomme, too, is encouraged by the teams’ early successes.

“We are a much stronger team than we were a year ago. At the same time, so are the teams we are competing against. It makes comparing win-loss records from year to year imprecise, but it’s extremely exciting to have close meets and races,” she said.

These early results, and the efforts of the team in training thus far, have senior captain Alison Schlueter excited about the potential of her team.

“As a senior, it’s been really amazing to watch the trajectory of this team, and I’m just so excited to see what we can accomplish this year,” Schlueter said.

Last year at the Northwest Conference Championships the men’s team took third place (6-1 NWC), four points from second-place finishers Puget Sound.

The women’s squad finished fourth (5-2 NWC) behind Lewis & Clark, beat out by a heartbreaking one-point margin.

According to senior James Nusse, a captain and last year’s team MVP, the narrow margins have showed the Missionary swimmers what is within reach this year. “[Last year’s results] demonstrated to us the strength of our program and inspired us to take the next step forward.

We took it upon ourselves to get in shape physically and mentally before the opening of our season,” Nusse said.

Blomme highlighted technique work as the foundation for the team’s success this year.

[Technique problems] are often issues coaches focus on towards the end of the season, when habits are so ingrained that it’s hard to make major changes. Taking the opposite approach is going pay off more and more as the season continues and will absolutely be our strongest asset during championship season,” she said According to Nusse, this focus on finetuning technique is critical to their overall efforts in the NWC this season and will continue to yield benefits through the season-ending NWC championship meet on February 25.

“Our emphasis on technique has us poised to accomplish new things this season. It means that when we get to the end of the season, we will be able to focus on our races, not our turns, because those

will already be in place,” he said.

Perennial powers Whitworth and UPS, both of which finished ahead of Whitman last year, again look to be the teams to beat in this year’s NWC title race.

On the women’s side, Whitman returns top performers Flynn (freestyle, breaststroke), sophomore Charlotte Graham (freestyle, backstroke) and sophomore Katie Chapman (fly, freestyle).

First-year Keller Hawkins, who has already earned the sixth-fastest 200-yard backstroke time in Whitman swimming history, leads a talented incoming class.

For the men, Nusse (freestyle, backstroke) leads a very deep returning group, including fellow senior captain Nick Wood (breaststroke, IM), junior Mitchell Lee (freestyle, breaststroke), junior Chris Bendix (freestyle) and sophomore Kevin Dyer (freestyle).

In the end, though, it all comes back to dedication to the team—in every facet of competition.

“Overall, our goal is always to do better than we did last year. This applies to everything. We want to have better technique, better walls, better breath control, better starts. We want to raise our team’s cumulative GPA,” Schlueter said.

“We also want to be better teammates and we’ve been working a lot on what it means to be a good teammate.”

Next up for Whitman swimmers is the Northwest Invitational November 20-21 in Tacoma, Wash. In its first home meet, Whitman will host Linfield January14 at the Louise and Paul Harvey Pool.

busy during the 1.5 hours that Prentiss and Jewett dining halls are open.

Despite Bon Appetit’s efforts at providing excellent dining experiences for Whitman’s athletes, many still see room for improvement.

One issue is the lack of availability of healthy options at Reid Cafe ’66. With options ranging from burgers to pizza to the “Taste of the Week,” students may have access to tasty food, but have more limited vegetable and fruit selections than in dining halls.

“Reid doesn’t really have the same healthy options (like the salad bar) that are offered in the dining halls,” said sophomore volleyball player Rachel Shober.

Because students pay for Cafe ‘66 food using their flex dollars, if a student wants both a meal from the grill and fruits or vegetables, dinner can get pricey. Hungry athletes have been finding that their allotted 500 flex dollars is often not enough. At the same time, many have leftover meal swipes at the end of the semester.

Each meal swipe for Plan A is worth nearly 14 dollars, so extra swipes--which do not carry over to the next semester as flex dollars do--can be a significant waste of money for students and their families.

“I am satisfied with eating dinner at Reid, but 500 flex dollars is not enough

to get me through a semester,” said senior baseball player Jay Richards. “I run out of flex every semester and usually have meals leftover. It would be nice to have a plan that offered more flex.”

Adjusting Meal Plan A to include fewer meal swipes and more flex could counter this problem that many athletes face; another solution could be to change the dining hall hours to span more total time with less overlap.

“Jewett and Prentiss dining halls have more overlap in their hours than is necessary,” said first-year Christopher Farley, am athlete on the cross-country team.

Less overlap in meal times would not affect the expense of hiring staff or keeping the kitchens open, but could allow athletes like Farley the option of eating in the dining halls for dinner.

Edens emphasizes that the managers of Bon Appetit are open to feedback from students.

“Bon Appetit needs to find creative ways to accommodate students by working individually with those affected,” he said.

The flexibility Bon Appetit has shown in the past illustrates their willingness to work with students on issues such as this, even if there are still frustrations. Though the current meal plan is dissatisfying to many athletes, it seems that pursuing even simple changes could improve their overall dining experience at Whitman.

ADVERTISEMENT

Opinion

The Pioneer ISSUE 10 NOV 18, 2010 Page 7

!"#$%&'()#*+(,$#-+,(,$./+'$,0(12)#$#3&)(32',3#2.,'+,,

ALLISON BOLGIANO Columnist

Two of the most difficult things I’ve done recently were filling out my ballot and writing my column two weeks ago. Voting and writing about the media proved to me how insular the Whitman bubble is and that staying informed will require

adaptation.

As college student at a liberal arts college, and especially as a newspaper columnist, I feel an obligation to be informed about current events. Keeping up with world events allows more connections during class discussions and certainly helps me write more informative columns.

However, the truth is I am struggling to stay informed.

Whitman’s environment is perfect for many things, but being news-savvy is not one of them, at least not for me. At home my family received the Seattle Times daily.

Every morning I would eat a bowl of cereal and read the newspaper, not cover to cover, but I got an overview of the important news of the day. I also caught some news on the radio and occasionally on TV. Getting the news required little conscious effort on my part. However, when I left home things changed.

I must make a confession. Originally, I hoped to write my previous column about

coverage of this year’s election season. I intended to focus on the need for issue, not event, based coverage. After not following the news, finding examples of poor election coverage proved difficult. Thus, I chose to examine the media more broadly.

It felt a bit pathetic to be unable to write about problems with election coverage because I have not been following it closely enough to have anything to say.

Filling out my ballot also highlighted how insulated I am. Usually I know what the important initiatives are about. However, this year I had to read the voters’ pamphlet not for details but just to know what the initiatives proposed.

It seems as though Whitman as a whole did not follow the election closely. In the weeks leading up to the November 2 election, little political activity was apparent around campus. I did receive e-mails from the Young Democrats urging me to support Patty Murray’s campaign by going door to door or by seeing her speak at Walla Walla Community College. However, little happened here. Disappointingly, the election was neither a visible or vocalized issue on campus.

Although I am responsible for my news deficit, Whitman could help me get informed again. The only newspaper readily available in physical form is the local Union Bulletin, found for free in the basement of Reid. While knowing what is happening in Walla Walla is important, keeping up with national and global news is more essential. I would love it if the Col-

lege planted copies of the New York Times around campus. The newspapers in the library, which are awkwardly kept on long, wooden rods, don’t beckon readers. Nothing seems more perfect than unfolding a newspaper while sitting on a comfy couch in the library or Reid.

College life requires many adjustments.

It is undeniably and unchangeably very different from life at home or in the real world. For people like me, finding ways to stay informed requires adaptation. Many areas of one’s life must be restructured in order to succeed as a student. Getting the news in ways that fit into college life is the key.

As much as I love Whitman’s campuscentered lifestyle and having almost everything I need on campus, I fear the isolation of the Whitman bubble. As a student I feel a responsibility not just toward academic learning but also to global awareness. I can pursue sociology, environmental studies, or politics as far as I want, but like many other academic disciplines, the true value of these studies is applying their principles to current events.

I know that I can pop the Whitman bubble, ending my disconnectedness. If you are like me and feel that what’s happening beyond Whitman is a bit of a mystery, I encourage you to join me in reconnecting. Spending a few minutes a day on the New York Times Website or reading the news magazines in the quiet room provides a refreshing study break and a healthy dose of news.

927+:('2$(3#$#;+',"#1(,$&$.,:(,"2.)/( /+$+5%#'+(1+5,2'0,(&<#)#$=($2(&/21$ While Chinese orphans can be adopted by parents with American citizenship, the reverse is not the case. Adoption should not be restricted based on citizenship.

Running to avoid being tagged by the kids while playing a game in the Mentor Program, I suddenly came to think of a future when I might adopt an DING American child LI or a child from a Columnist different culture.

They are so pure, so nice and kind to me, and the language does not seem to be a problem between us.

Thrilled about the idea of adoption, I couldn’t wait to check the requirements of adopting a child from another country. It seems that disappointment always comes hand-in-hand with expectation. The Chinese website Baidu Zhidao, a website similar to Yahoo! Answers, informed me that Chinese adoptive parents are required to have permanent U.S. resident status in order to adopt a child from U.S. foster care, and that parents cannot leave the United States for longer than three months. I was shocked facing the requirements! They are suggesting that I need to have the green card before I am able to adopt an American child, and once I have adopted the child, I will lose my freedom of living in Chi-

na, where I want the kid to grow up.

This seems unfair considering that adopting Chinese children has become an American trend. There are 5,000 to 8,000 Chinese children adopted by American parents and brought back to America every year.

All the requirements for American adoptive parents are that they have a nice family and are wealthy enough to raise the children.

Though shocked by the facts provided in Baidu Zhidao, I didn’t completely fall for what I initially read. I wished that the answers were wrong or outdated, and with that hope I went to the website of American adoption laws and other adoption organization websites. The research didn’t make me feel any better, but assured me that I can’t adopt an American child as a Chinese citizen living in China.

Though rules for transcultural adoptions do exist, according to Adoption Services, an adoption agency which has branches all over United States, transcultural or transracial adoption in the nation usually refers to “the placement of a black, Hispanic, Asian child or a child from another country with U.S. Caucasian adoptive parents.”

Not the other direction. There are cases where American kids are adopted by foreigners, mostly Europeans and Canadians, but as stated in Adoption.

com, “Foreign nationals are permitted to adopt a child born in the United States while residing here in the United States.”

My friends questioned my desire to adopt an American child when she believes that China has already got so many orphans and America has foster care to take care of them. That’s not the case. As of November, the National Adoption Month, there are 115,000 children in American foster care waiting for families. They may live a better life than Chinese orphans because of foster care, but the future for them is no better. More than one third of them have been physically or sexually victimized in the 18 months after leaving foster care without families, according to The American Orphan written

by Arleta James, an adoption professional.

The American orphans also need the emotional and financial support of families other than foster care organizations. If adoption is an option generated by love, it should be open to every family that has the ability and love to raise a child regardless of the parents’ race and nationality. It’s so kind of Americans to adopt Chinese kids and love them as their own. I appreciate the kindness and hope one day I can be one of them raising a kid from different culture.

POLI T IC AL C ARTOON

DOUGLAS

E. JOHNSON

Many areas of one’s life must be restructured in order to succeed as a student. Getting the news in ways that fit into college life is the key.

45++/2%(2*(,1++3"( +6$+'/,($2(7#/+2(8&%+, Saying that video games are controversial is a rather serious understatement.

State governments all over our country have BLAIR tried to ban the FRANK sale of “violent” Columnist games to minors for quite some time. For the most part, the proposed laws have all been struck down in court. Until recently, the Supreme Court has refused to hear any of the cases on such bans regarding violent video games with the exception of one case from California.

So, why now, and why California?

Helen Knowles, a visiting professor of politics, believes that The Supreme Court tends to let legal sentiment percolate, and then choose one case that it feels it can effectively rule on. In essence, the court’s decision to hear the California case is due to the fact that they feel this case has provided them a very good opportunity to rule not only on California’s law, but also others like it.

California’s law is also slightly different than its predecessors from other states. Whereas other laws relied on obscenity statues, California decided to fashion its law around studies linking playing violent video games and increased aggression in children.

Gamers have often dismissed such studies as correlative, which is to say that they don’t provide sufficient evidence that video games directly cause violent behavior. Brooke Vick, assistant professor of psychology and Whitman’s resident social psychology expert, disagrees with this reasoning since, according to her, there’s no question in the literature about whether media violence causes aggression to increase or not.

It would seem, then, that scientifically speaking, California has a leg to stand on. But what about when it comes to the First Amendment?

Professor Knowles doesn’t think the Supreme Court will reverse the ruling against California because she believes the law is just so overly broad that it seems unlikely the court will let it stand. I hope she’s right.

Video games are still an emerging medium for artistic expression, and their full potential has yet to be realized. Of course, that hasn’t stopped games like “Bioshock,” “Mass Effect” and “Heavy Rain” from pushing the envelope. Of course, that’s not an exhaustive list of artistic video games, but it’s a start. The one thing all of

these games have in common is their “mature” rating. In the video game industry, getting a “M” stuck on your box is like a “R” rating at the movie theater. Nobody under 17 can purchase a game that’s been rated mature due to industry practices. I still get carded at Gamestop when I go to purchase M-rated games, and that’s the way it should be.

I am a firm believer in children of a certain age being restricted in their buying, viewing and playing habits when it comes to certain media. I don’t care how mature you think your 12- or 13-year-old is. They shouldn’t be playing “Grand Theft Auto” or “Modern Warfare.” But here’s the fundamental problem of the California law: banning the sale of violent video games to minors (where violence is defined as certain acts like shooting or dismembering a human avatar) isn’t the way to go. There are a few reasons why.

The first is that minors often aren’t the ones buying the video games for themselves. Timmy is not tottering off to Walmart or EB Games with 60 dollars in his pocket to buy “Medal of Honor.” His parents are doing it for him. The key thing to realize here is that the video game industry makes it abundantly clear what games they think are appropriate for children.

It’s right there on the box. People just need to learn to listen.

Second, the banning of violent video games will probably have a chilling effect on what games get made. Big retailers won’t want to deal with all of the legal liabilities that come with selling games that can carry huge penalties if sold to the wrong people.

For better or worse, the video game industry goes where the money is. If it’s not possible to sell certain games through traditionally profitable retail channels, then developers won’t get paid to make those games. It’s that simple.

One of the great things about the interactive nature of games is that it’s possible to communicate with the player on his or her own level, in ways that aren’t available to traditional media like books and film. I’ve had philosophical epiphanies playing well-crafted games, and that, in my opinion, is the way it should be.

Should young kids be allowed to play violent video games that are inappropriate for them? No. But government regulation isn’t the way to go either.

Games should be rated by people who understand them, not some bureaucratic body made up of people who haven’t played video games enough to understand why they’re important and valuable.

The Pioneer ISSUE 10 NOV 18, 2010

Cornujokia

Page 8

presents

THE HOTTEST NEW SHOW OF THE SEASON

Extra! Extra! Hot off the presses! After Kanye West’s success with his sexy short-film “Runaway”, Kanye’s shaking things up again! We all know how much Kanye West loves politics (Remember “George Bush hates black people?”) that’s why Kanye West and Aaron Sorkin have teamed up to bring us a super special Kanye-themed political drama extravaganza!

Sources say the pair have been planning this project since late 2006, but haven’t been able to find time to make it work until recently.

The set of the show is exclusive to say the least but our B!News entertainment-squad-strike-force was able to sit in on some of the filming. We can’t say too much, (don’t want to spoil anything for you! ) but you have much to look forward to with this new series.

Just picture it: Kanye walking down hallways with papers in hand wearing his all red suit and stunner shades, Kanye holding top secret important meetings in the Situation Room regarding America’s relations with the ris-

Backpage Whitties’ World Guide A guide to necessary world things.

This week: How to become the guy that makes scratch­and­sniff pencils scratch­and­sniffable.

1. Go to high school and college. Obviously you need to take chemistry in both of these

ing nuclear power Kumar, and of course Kanye meeting with his lovable team of loyal assistants: Leo McKanye (Chief of Staff), K.Ye Cregg (Press Secretary), Kanye Lyman (Deputy Chief of Staff), Tobye Ziegler (Communications Director), and of course his right hand man, Charlie Kanye (Personal Aid). Here are some sneak preview, never-before-seen photos of “Kanye West Wing,” brought to you by the one and only B! News.

Merry Thanksgiving

institutions.

2. Graduate cum laude from University of Arizona with a BA in chemistry, mainly because your mom says you won’t get married if you aren’t successful, and chemistry is an admirable major.

3. Go to graduate school with high hopes and bright eyes about the future because your graduation speaker was Mr. Rogers and he makes everything look bright-eyed, optimistic and kind.

4. Apply to intern at the top chemistry research institutes in the nation. Then get drunk with your buddy Robby and take his advice to apply as a joke to SCENTEDucation, the all-scented office supply company down the street from the bar you are getting drunk at.

5. Take the only internship you can get, SCENTEDucation, and daydream about being a chemist with NASA or any other actually legitimate chemistry related job. Turns out having fingerprints in Cheeto dust on your applications shows a lack of professionalism.

6. Marry Rhonda, the woman you aren’t in love with, because it’s convenient and you really fell in love with the nanny from the show “Muppet Babies” when you were a child so there isn’t much hope in making that impossible relationship work. Rhonda is fine. She is nice.

She makes a mean pot roast every night.

7. When the economy hit the 2008 recession, take the only job you can get at SCENTEDucation, which will probably work out fine because you have met some all right people, like Randy in accounting. You guys get along pretty well. He is a Bronco’s fan like you, but Rhonda doesn’t like his morals that much, so you kind of have to keep him away from the house. So you go to that same bar that you got drunk at with you old buddy Robby and watch the games and sometimes The “Muppet Babies” when no one is looking so you can catch a glimpse of the woman that got away.

8. Congratulations, you are now the guy that makes scratch-and-sniff pencils scratch-and-sniffable.

9. Wallow in sadness every day, smelling the sweet smells of imitation strawberry and graphite, and getting pretty sick of pot roast and Cheetos, which you vowed would never happen. ‘Maybe you should become vegan’ you think to yourself.

10. Feel mediocre because the only people who appreciate your work are 7-year-old girls, and you kind of resent them because they can watch “Muppet Babies” without it being creepy, so you decide to have kids.

ROLLE

New Republican Legislation Hey gang! It’s about time for us all to settle in and get used to this new Republican House! Love them or hate them, they’re going to be passing new legislation before too long and we might as well get used to having them around. With that in mind, here are a few “sneak peaks” of what to expect from the new House in the next few months. !"#$%&'()&*+$',##+-),./+.0$1.$2&-31.*0,.4$5676$-.+&(+/$1.0,$8,3.$%,+3.+#9-$,:;'+$ a few nights ago and stole some of the new legislation they are planning on passing.

Let’s check it out!

- Provision outlawing any and all John Boehner/ Boner jokes.

Rider: All citizens must be tanned a beautiful orange hue.

- Provision eliminating all taxes for anybody, ever, everywhere!

Rider: Federal subsidies for RoadCorp, SchoolCorp and RobotPoliceCorp.

- Ironically, taxes on imported tea will be increased in order to pay for Ben Quayle’s tennis lessons.

Lil’ Wayne’s Best Stuffing Alive I created this recipe while I was in prison in their program Cooking with Convicts. I think it’s the perfect way to say, “Sorry about the ‘attempted criminal possession of a weapon’ charges, guys--have some stuffing!” I made it for my crew just last week and got rave reviews.

Turns out prison can bring out the good in people . . . at the very least it can bring out the good cook! * 1 6-oz. bag Mr. Carter’s Stove-top Stuffweezy Mix * 2 tablespoons butter or margarine * 1/2 cup onion, fine-assly chopped * 1/2 cup celery, fine-assly chopped * 1 1/3 cups water Melt butter or margarine in a two-quart saucepan. (Don’t be afraid to indulge yourself and your guests: use butter!) Add onion and celery and let the beat build until onion is transparent. Add water (and love!). Heat until boiling on high heat. (High like I fly when I am supporting my family and bringing joy to hearts of my fans!) Cover, reduce heat and simmer three minutes. (In those three minutes make a list of some things you are grateful for to share later with your guests!) Remove from heat. Stir in Stuffweezy mix. Cover and l-l-l-loli-let stand three to five minutes. Fluff with a fork to serve. Makes a milli servings. (It’s a good thing, too, because Shorty won’t want a thug anymore; she’ll just want more stuffing!)

FAST FACTS 4 TEENZ

RAGE!

WHAT TO KNOW AND HOW TO STAY SAFE From time to time, we here at the Backpage use our position as a voice on campus to promote student safety and awareness. It has recently come to our attention that a new drug known as Rage just hit the streets, and we would like to take a moment to draw attention to this dangerous trend. As far as we can tell, Rage is a crude mixture of Tylenol PM and Glenn Beck’s semen—a harmless enough combination to a point, but after a certain amount of usage effects can be deadly. After a fair amount of Googling, we dug up this pamphlet on the Rage menace, in hopes of stopping this epidemic before it begins:

- Obamacare repealed, replaced with BoehnerCare, a system wherein each family needing help !"#$% $&'("#)*% +"**'% ,-'#% ./$#% )% /")0#% 1&+&#% +23&12% being allowed to pay for chemotherapy. Also: boners.

- Evolution to be taught alongside Intelligent Design at all major graduate schools.

- New legislation will select one homeless person at random to switch places with Steve Jobs for a single day.

STREET NAMES You’re at a party or chillaxing with your buds on a Saturday night.

Someone offers you something to try, you’re not quite sure what it is . . . stay prepared. You might also hear Rage referred to as: !" “Glenn” !" “Palin Poppers” !" “Black Beckies” !" “Common Sen­ semilla” !" “Free Market Freakies” !" “Small Government is the Best Government”

RELATED PARAPHERNALIA If you notice your friends or new homies have any of these items, they may be using Rage: !" Chalkboards !" Glasses !" Posters of Ronald Reagan !" Gold—beautiful, safe, gold !" Thomas Paine pamphlets, seem­ ingly highlighted at random

WARNING SIGNS

What if one of your posse star ts using Rage? Here are some effects and warning signs. If you notice a combination of more than three of these in a loved one don’t be afra id to get help: !" Weight gain !" Face becomes plump and bab y­ like !" Frequent crying !" Paranoia, hallucinations (ma ny users experience images of Nazis) !" Violent tendencies (often invo lv­ ing homicide using a shovel) !" Voice cracks under excitement !" Extreme nostalgia for the Reagan

years !" Users often refer to themselv es as part of “The Real America”

FOUND IN

Rage has already become prevalent in these areas: !" Rural communities !" Southern United States !" Rhode Island Use may be increasing in many o th­ er areas, including: !" Washington, D.C.