Whitman Pioneer - Fall 2010 Issue 11

Page 1

IN THIS ISSUE

Basketball shoots for the top

The Sea delves into the human condition

Student showing in Sheehan

The Whitman women hope a deeper team can carry them to success this season. page 6

Harper Joy closes its fall season with a production that questions our place in the universe. page 4

Final gallery installation of the year features student art pieces from a range of artistic mediums. page 4

WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVII Issue 11 whitmanpioneer.com D , 

Students propose return of Free Expression Wall by KARAH KEMMERLY Staff Reporter

PARRISH Bon Appétit recently opened the last of their backup dishes due to dish thefts.

Dish thefts prompt ideas for better ways to take dining hall food

by MOLLY JOHANSON Staff Reporter

Thievery is on the rise on the Whitman College campus, with objects going missing nearly every day. The objects in question? Dishes and silverware from the dining halls. Bon Appétit Management Company spends from seven to 10 thousand dollars a year on dishes at Whitman. The company is currently on its last set of backup dishes. “We were completely stocked when we opened in the fall,” said Prentiss Dining Hall Manager Susan Todhunter. According to Todhunter, dishes and silverware began to disappear within the first two weeks of the semester. The dishes are found all over campus— under bushes, on steps, in off-campus houses and even in trash cans. Many are left on the ledge of trash cans. These dishes and the ones that do make it into the trash

sometimes get collected and returned by facilities services. “The dishes disappear from the cafeteria, they are left outside and somebody else picks them up, so they do it again. It’s a system that works for them,” says Landscape Specialist and Recycling Coordinator Bob Biles. “We enable them to be socially unequipped by our being responsible.” At Prentiss, most dishes are stolen over the weekend, which could be a result of it being the only dining hall open. “I come back on Monday and say ‘whoa, where did everything go?’” Todhunter said. Because the dining halls do not take inventory often, it’s hard to tell just how much gets stolen in a day. Over four years ago, Prentiss Dining Hall offered paper dishes for people who wanted to take food out. However, students used the dishes for everything BON APPETIT, page 2

The Free Expression Wall, a place on campus for students to publicly voice their thoughts, may soon be reinstalled at Whitman College after being removed in 2007 because of student complaints. Junior Katie Radosevic and sophomores Hannah Siano and William NewmanWise submitted a proposal on November 5 and then again on November 15 to President Bridges to get this space back on campus. In their proposal, the students explained the three goals they want to achieve by reinstalling the Free Expression Wall. The first is “to make students more visible on campus”, the second is “to provide a free space for student expressions”, and the last is “to inspire fruitful conversations if something offensive, shocking or controversial is shared.” This controversy, however, has proven problematic in the past. The first iteration of a

Freedom of Expression Wall was installed on the side of Olin Hall in the fall of 2006 in preparation for the Symposium on Race Relations and Community. In August 2007, the wall was taken down. According to a Pioneer article written by Andrea Miller in 2007, there was some confusion among students as to the causes of the wall’s dismantling. Many believed that the wall was taken down to beautify the campus for an upcoming August Visitor’s Day. In fact, the wall was removed because a group of students went to the physical plant and requested its removal. Justin Daigneault ‘09, the resident director of Jewett Hall, was a student when the original wall was removed. He expressed support for the reinstallment of the wall, but warned that students would have to be cautious. “I think freedom of expression should be allowed room anywhere we can find on campus, but we also need to make sure it is still a safe space for all individuals on campus,” said Daigneault. In the proposal for the wall, Radosevic,

Staff Reporter

by SEAN MCNULTY Staff Reporter

Christmas, as we have all been told, has been reduced to material comforts-presents under the tree, stampedeworthy deals on Black Friday and the promise of release from the financial and emotional stress of the holidays. The Whitman Alternative Gifts Market offers, well, an alternative to this ruckus. “[We’re] turning the material gift thing on its head a little bit,” said Alternative Gifts organizer Lena Menard. “[We’re] focusing on spending time together and doing things that help to make the world a little better place . . . [there is] sometimes a better way. . . than trying to figure out what stuff somebody wants or might want to exchange into a different size and color after the holidays.” The Alternative Gifts Market is a program that allows one to make to donations to various organizations in lieu of giving a physical gift. Run through the Whitman Community Service Office for the past ten years, this program brings in a whole world of presents beyond your average stocking stuffer. At the market, you can buy a donation in someone’s name, and they receive a card with a short explanation of the cause. Some gift offerings affect the community directly. Menard said that students can sponsor a bus pass for somebody who isn’t able to afford one, help provide school supplies for kids, or fund a student’s meal plan for a community service project over spring GIFT MARKET, page 4

QUOTES of

THE WEEK

Whitman varsity athletes are all about routine: get up, go to class, eat, go to practice, eat, do homework, sleep, repeat. This cycle allows them to continuously maintain their studies and work on their game. For the Whitman winter sports teams, however, there are two annual disturbances to this routine, and they’re called the holidays.

FREE WALL , page 2

LOOS­DIALLO

Alternative Holidays test athletes, provide opportunity Gifts Market offers break from routine by PAMELA LONDON

Siano and Newman-Wise addressed the issue of students taking offense to written content on the wall in their two rules regarding its reinstallment. The first rule is that the wall will not be taken down under any circumstances; the second that if a student is offended by another student’s words or artwork, the offended student should simply paint or write over the offensive statement. Their proposal makes clear that in order to deal with offensive or shocking statements, the Whitman community should discuss these issues, not destroy the medium on which they were expressed. The proposal states that “when an offensive comment is written, we as a community can come together to discuss the problem. If it is written, someone is thinking it, we as a community need to address those thoughts.” Eventually, for the wall

While most Whitties return home to recharge and relax during the Thanksgiving and winter holiday breaks, winter sports athletes are entering the peak of their training for the conference season, which gets started in early December and begins to pick up in January. Winter sports coaches Michelle Ferenz, Eric Bridgeland and Jenn Blomme all have their own way of keeping their athletes training and staying in shape in anticipation of the confer-

ence season. For all three coaches, the main goal is to get the athletes working on individual improvements, so that they can build off of that as a team once everyone is back on campus. “The holiday break is a good chance for us to catch our breath,” said Ferenz, women’s basketball head coach. “November and December are very busy athletically and academically, and I think we all need a few days after finals to rest and recharge.” HOLIDAY, page 6

Vigil observes World AIDS Day by KARAH KEMMERLY Staff Reporter

KLAG Whitman students attended Wednesday night’s vigil.

An eclectic mix of Whitman students, staff and Walla Walla residents gathered in front of the Christmas tree on Main Street on the evening of Wednesday, Dec. 1. The crowd of about 40 people held candles and listened to performances from Whitman’s three a cappella groups: the Testostertones, Schwa and the Sirens of Swank. In between each song, individuals stepped up and read startling facts: 157 Americans in 2009 were on the waiting list for AIDS medication, and in 2010, over 3,000 people were on the same waiting list. The candlelight vigil was Walla Walla’s tribute to World AIDS Day: an internationally recognized awareness day that serves to commemorate people who lost their lives to AIDS, to celebrate victories of individuals and families who have learned to live normally in spite of HIV and to heighten public attention about prevention methods and lingering obstacles in the VIGIL , page 3

Administration aims to make Whitman more trans­friendly by KARAH KEMMERLY Staff Reporter

After reading about attempts by other college campuses to better accommodate transgender students, Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland, Chair of Faculty Andrea Dobson and Associate to the President Jed Schwendiman proposed that Whitman make changes to become more trans-inclusive. The list of proposed changes includes suggestions like removing Ms./Mr. from QUACK academic evaluations and pay statements, giving students the option to write their self-definition of gender on matriculation and employment forms, putting students’ preferred names rather than or in addition to their legal names on roll sheets, building gender neutral bathrooms in new construction projects and making it easier for transitioning students to change their gender in the college’s records. A list of proposed changes has been composed and sent out to students in both GLBTQ and Coalition Against Homophobia so that students can provide feedback and give suggestions for other changes. Schwendiman said that responses have ranged from general support to specific suggestions or improvements. He encourages any student with suggestions or feedback about the proposals to e-mail him. One long term change the college might be looking into is a different option for first-year housing. “After the first year, students already have the option to pick whomever they want as a roommate. We will have to GENDER , page 2

{ }{ }{ }{ } Whitman can’t afford to treat its students as halfcitizens any longer. OPINION

by Zach Duffy page 7

‘The Promise’ is a generally upbeat, though sometimes melancholy, commentary on love. A&E by McCaulay SingerMilnes page 5

It is dangerous to push renewable energy development at all costs, without consideration for site location.

Shteyngart’s novel is a story of... the trials of mortality and the dangers already facing the United States.

OPINION

A&E

by Rachel Alexander page 7

by Ellie Gold page 5


NEWS

2

December 2, 2010

BON APPÉTIT: Reusable containers one solution to theft increase

 page 1 instead of exclusively for taking food out. Todhunter felt that that system was extremely wasteful. Paper dishes and cups are no longer offered in Prentiss Dining Hall. Prentiss and other dining halls encourage the use of personal dishes for students who wish to eat elsewhere. The student handbook states that “by bringing their own plate or container, students are allowed to take their meal out of the dining hall. Plates, bowls, mugs, silverware, etc.

may not be removed from the dining hall.” Todhunter appreciates when people bring their own Tupperware. However, “we’re trying not to be a grocery store,” she said in response to students who clean out all of an item from the salad bar. Bon Appétit is trying to find a solution to the dish theft problem. While programs like Campus Greens’s dish roundups have been tried in the past, Todhunter feels that this encourages students to take out dishes, as would designated receptacles for dish return. “We need to make it convenient to walk

out with something other than our dishes,” she said. Currently, Bon Appétit is looking into an idea that was introduced to Whitman by Sustainability Coordinators Nat Clarke and Ari Frink, both seniors. Over the four-day break in October, they went to an Association for the Advancement of Sustainability in Higher Education conference in Denver, Colo. There they saw several vendors offering green clam shells, a type of reusable meal container. These containers are being put to use at

schools such as Yale University as the alternative. As it works at Yale, each student pays for a container in their meal plan. They then are able to take one out if they need it for transporting food. However, students are unable to get a new container without returning their old one, either clean or dirty. When they return their container, students either receive a token to exchange for a new container, or an indication on their ID card saying their container was in. Right now, the sustainability coordinators and Todhunter are working on a sys-

tem that they hope would work well forb Whitman. Todhunter would like to imple-S ment the system if she felt students would be receptive to it. “This would get rid of the ambiguity of what can be taken out of the dining halls,” Clarke said. For now, the solution is for students to be more responsible about bringing their own containers and cups or bringing back Bon Appétit dishes. “Bring them back dirty; we can wash them,” Todhunter urges. “Just bring them back.”

FREE WALL: Offensive material potential concern  page 1 to be reinstalled, the students behind this project will also have to meet with the physical plant, but Newman-Wise believes the administration has little ground to ultimately reject the proposal. “It’s not that students won’t write provocative things—I want them to do so. The student body can handle it,” said Newman-Wise. Radosevic is interested to see what kinds of controversial issues will come up after the wall is installed. “I’m intrigued by the idea of shock. There’s not a lot of conflict on campus, yet there are conflicting viewpoints,” she said. Radosevic is glad to see these issues combined with creativity. “Combining these hard subjects with art will be a great way to focus more on the issues. I know that when I’m frustrated, I like to finger paint. And even if students don’t know exactly how to say something, they are still interacting with their environment,” she said. Siano hopes to see more dialogue among students. “We’re giving students a medium for creativity. And this wall can start more conversations on campus about things which students are passionate about,” she said. Radosevic, Siano and Newman-Wise are also hoping to see the Whitman landscape change after the wall is installed. “There isn’t a lot of student artwork around campus. The wall should be an easy way to make students visible on campus,” said Newman-Wise. He also said he would like to see the campus “roughed up.” “Everything is so unified here. This

wall would be a shocking thing,” Siano said in agreement. Overall, the group is optimistic about their project proposal. “We’ve had good responses from students so far. People seem interested. And I think it can only benefit Whitman College,” said Siano. President Bridges responded to the proposal and the students met with Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland and Chief Financial Officer Peter Harvey on November 30 to further discuss the proposal. Cleveland believes that overall it was a positive meeting. Harvey sees a benefit to having the wall on campus. “I agreed with the students that such a wall could serve as a great opportunity for students to creatively express themselves, both through art and the expression of ideas. It has the potential to both share such creativity more visibly and to encourage positive discussion of important ideas,” he says. He does worry that the wall could be offensive to some people, but he’s not concerned about the students. “It could offend other members of the broader community. It is important to remember that the college serves as a park-like environment for the Walla Walla community and that many elementary-aged children visit campus to see the art, tour the grounds, attend workshops or special programs such as planetarium shows,” Harvey said. The students have a few changes to make to their proposal, but despite the potential controversy, Harvey believes that the proposal is moving forward and thinks it could be established next semester.

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American Indian Association Lecturer: Denny Hurtado Denny Hurtado spoke about education on Native American reservations and public schools with large Native American populations on Tuesday, Nov. 30. Hurtado, who is a board member of the National Indian Education Association as well as the Indian Education Program Supervisor for the Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Education, spoke about how good teachers on reservations must take an approach that includes getting involved with the families. He also talked about teaching Native American history in schools throughout Washington.

GENDER: Changes anticipate more trans students  page 1 look into steps to extend gender neutral housing to first-year students,” Schwendiman said. Schwendiman is optimistic that the college will be able to see results shortly. “It’s nice to be at such a small school where changes can be implemented fairly quickly,” he said. “I’m excited to work on these recommendations and make tangible improvements this year.” Cleveland believes it is important to make these changes because he anticipates an increase in the number of transgender students who might want to apply to Whitman. “This population of students is increasing over time. Thirty years ago, it was often middle-aged people making the transition, but now many more peo-

CORRECTION TO ISSUE 10 The illustration accompanying “Mak­ ing homemade sushi rice” on page 5 should be credited to Olivia Johnson.

ple are transitioning at a younger age. It’s important that Whitman is welcoming and supportive of everyone,” he said. This shift could result in an increase in transgender students at the college level, and Whitman wants to be proactive about supporting these students. “We want Whitman to be the type of community that is prepared for such an increase,” Schwendiman said. Cleveland also said that administrators are hoping to get the Student Life Committee more involved with the changes. Liam Mina, president of GLBTQ and Coalition Against Homophobia, which also combats transphobia, is enthusiastic about these changes. “The initial decision to suggest changes was all on the part of staff and faculty, and I think it’s fantastic that they took initiative on this issue without a lot of student prompting,” he said. Mina believes that implementing many of these changes, like allowing students to use their preferred names on various documents and removing Ms. and Mr., will be simple. He also has another suggestion.

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“Something else I think is really key is education. It’s really important that nontrans people know how to be good allies to trans people and know what sorts of questions are okay and not okay to ask, what sorts of terminology are appropriate to use,” he said. One step towards a greater campuswide understanding of gender is the gender and sexuality workshops in firstyear residence halls during October. Cleveland hopes they are a step toward better educating students on gender issues. Mina is supportive of the administration’s decision. “It’s important to make these changes because they will help make Whitman a more accessible place to transgender people,” he said. “Trans people tend to have enough stresses to deal with; they shouldn’t be expected to have to blindly fight their way through an unaccommodating system simply to ensure that their identities are respected. Whitman prides itself on diversity, and making the school more trans-friendly is one of the ways that it can actually show its commitment to diversity.”

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The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student­run news­ paper published under the auspices of the Associated Stu­ dents of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whit­ man students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman­related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting free­ dom of the press. In addition, the Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

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NEWS

December 2, 2010

3

Students return from Semester in the West

by SHELLEY LE

Staff Reporter

The 21 Whitman students in the fifth generation of Semester in the West (SITW) returned to Whitman’s Johnston Wilderness Center, located 25 miles southeast of campus, late Friday Nov. 19. The 12,000 mile expedition through ten states in the American West provided a semester full of experiences, ideas and motivations for change. Whitman’s Semester in the West program provides students the opportunity to experience the environmental studies major, allowing students to explore the ecological, social and aesthetic aspects of the American West. Led by Phil Brick, the Miles C. Moore professor of political science, students engaged in exploratory learning and met with guests including ranchers, energy experts and p0licymakers. Unlike off-campus study programs that allow students to integrate themselves into a different culture and language while attending classes, SITW focuses on the relationship between society and nature while integrating students to the surrounding land. “Semester in the West has given me an incredibly valuable perspective on the political, social and environmental issues of the American West, experiences that can’t be found in a classroom,” said sophomore Natalie Jamerson. “Each day gave us a new perspective on how these lands are being used, politically and environmentally, and we were able to form our own opinions about the best direction for the future of public lands.” During the trip, students met with Auden Schendler, the vice president of sustainability of the Aspen Ski Company. Unlike most climate change experts who focus on how to completely stop global warming, Schendler emphasized the inevitability of the carbon footprint we will leave behind, but talked about how to make it less severe. “In some ways it was liberating to hear that we’re going to fail because no one has ever been that blunt,” sophomore Dave McGaughey said. “Wherever you are in life, you need to speak about climate change; everyone needs to be addressing it at any position. It was empowering.”

Students also talked with ranchers and entrepreneurs about how current efforts to preserve the environment have affected them. While some entrepreneurs such as Diana Hunter, owner of the Barking Mad Bed and Breakfast in Enterprise, Ore., have benefited from the tourist appeal of wolves in Oregon, ranchers have suffered a less positive fate. “There are two sides to the story, and it was special to learn about,” McGaughey said. Despite the lack of formal classes, SITW is an academically rigorous program. In addition to papers and exams, students wrote and presented both a short and a long epiphany of their experiences at the Western Epiphanies presentations on Tuesday, Nov. 30 and Wednesday, Dec. 1. They are also tasked with preparing a podcast as a final project. Students receive eight credits of environmental studies and four of each biology and politics. “It’s a pretty rigorous academic program, it’s not easy, but it felt different academically,” sophomore Lisa Beneman said. Students also had life-changing experiences ranging from windstorms to river rafting on the Green River to hiking in the Chihuahuan Desert amongst yucca and agave plants. “There was an unbelievable windstorm and everything was just flying. Afterward we were glad that it happened because it was such an experience to remember, but it was wild,” Beneman said. For many, SITW is more than just a unique one-semester academic endeavor. It can be a life-altering project that inspires alumni to change the world around them. For Beneman, who particularly enjoyed working with the Weed Warrior program with Tamara Nauman and Peter Williams of Dinosaur National Monument, volunteering to pull and dig up tamarisk weeds--which have overtaken the monument and Green River area-was a way to give back. McGaughey echoes these sentiments of giving back and now feels more prepared and capable of doing so after SITW. “I’m more mature, prepared and directed now,” he said. “I know I want to make a difference.”

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Students studying with the Semester in the West program met a variety of people enmeshed in work, conservation efforts and life in the American West. The following were some of their guests:

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Aug. 31: Todd Nash, Dennis Sheehy, Luke Morgan, Eric Porter and Cody Ross, Enterprise, Ore. Sept. 13: Rosa Brey ‘09 (‘08 Westie) and Bartshe Miller of the Mono Lake Committee, Mono Lake, Calif. Sept. 27: Terry Marasco, activist and owner of Electrolux Cafe, Baker, Nev. Oct. 14: Auden Schendler, vice president of sustainability for Aspen Ski Company, Aspen, Colo. Oct. 21: Ann Walka, poet, Bluff, Utah Oct. 22: Brett Isaac, Shonto Community Development Corporation, Shonto, Navajo Nation Oct. 25: Kendall Clark and Martin Pfeiffer, United States Forest Service, Taos, N.M. Nov. 18: John Wick, Marin Carbon Project, Nicasio, Calif. Visit http://www.semesterinthewest.org/programs/2010/guests.html for detailed information on the guests students learned from on Semester in the West.

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VIGIL: Observance gains support

 page 1 fight against AIDS. This year’s celebration marks the 30th anniversary of World AIDS day and the 20th anniversary of Walla Walla’s participation in the event. Walla Walla’s World AIDS Day is put on by Blue Mountain Heart to Heart, a local organization that provides a syringe exchange as well as testing, counseling, support and preventative education for HIV/AIDS and Hepatitis C. Every year, the World AIDS campaign consults civil society, organizations and government agencies to choose a theme and focus the direction of the AIDS cause. This year’s theme was “universal access to care and medical treatment for those afflicted by HIV/AIDS.” Aside from a new theme, Walla Walla’s observance of World AIDS Day featured several other new contributions from the community. Senior Liam Mina has attended this event for four years and noted that only a handful of Whitman students used to participate each year. “Since last year when the event started to include the a cappella groups, more Whitman students have been drawn to attend,” he said. “I feel like [the HIV/ AIDS cause] is a really important issue among college students and especially among queer college students, it often

goes undiscussed.” Following the candlelight vigil, the group followed Blue Mountain Heart to Heart director Jill Dickey in a procession to the First Congregational Church for a nonsectarian memorial service. The service featured a number of moving presentations: a poetry reading, an excerpt from a play, vocal performances and a dance performed by Whitman students. Several people who have firsthand experience with helping others in the fight against AIDS presented their thoughts and personal anecdotes from the front lines of this fight. Speaker Casey Burns described her safari to Kenya to work on veterinary medicine, a safari which transformed her into a soldier in the battle against AIDS. At the time Burns arrived in Kenya in 1986, the first diagnoses of AIDS were occurring; within five years, 10 percent of the population was HIV positive. In Kenya, approximately 9,100 people will die this year from the AIDS virus, but there is hope that this number will diminish with programs advocating condom use and having only one sexual partner. Whitman senior Tumisang Mothei also spoke to the audience of his work as a peer educator in Botswana. Mothei is a citizen of Botswana and has worked to spread education and,

“frank open conversation,” about AIDS on a personal level. About 17 percent (300,000) of Botswana’s citizens are HIV positive--almost five times the population of Walla Walla County. Mothei explained that he was tired of watching so many people die from a preventable cause and called upon to help educate. Dickey presented a contrast to the two international perspectives by discussing her involvement on a local scale. She has been involved with Heart to Heart for over three years and explained that there are an estimated 33 HIV positive individuals currently living in Walla Walla, 24 of whom are supported by her organization. Dickey had not worked with the AIDS cause before taking up her position with Heart to Heart, but in the last few years of working hands-on with people with HIV, she has witnessed the devastating effects the virus can have. Just this year, Heart to Heart lost a client to the virus and has seen other clients who are too uncomfortable to attend support groups and instead tell others that they have with cancer. Both the Welty Health Center and Blue Mountain Heart to Heart offer free HIV testing, a crucial step towards controlling and eventually eradicating AIDS.

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The Pioneer ISSUE 11 DEC 2, 2010 Page 4

‘The Sea’ ends HJT season GIFT MARKET: offers creative, helpful break from commercial holiday culture  page 1 Some gift offerings affect the community directly. Menard said that students can sponsor a bus pass for somebody who isn’t able to afford one, help provide school supplies for kids, or fund a student’s meal plan for a community service project over spring break. Other gifts offered at the program echo volunteer programs at Whitman. “We run the Storytime Project, which is an early childhood literacy program, and one of our gifts is a literacy program in Mexico,” said Menard. A Hugging Grannies project based in China functions similarly to Whitman’s Adopt-a-Grandparent. “This year, in selection of the various gifts, we tried to provide a whole lot of different gifts that focused on different areas around the world and provided a wide range of different types of giving,” said Menard.

The idea of the Alternative Gifts Market isn’t exclusive to Whitman. There are similar markets run by churches, synagogues and colleges all across the country. They are all linked by Alternative Gifts International, a massive program that coordinates donations to organizations large and small. If Whitman students are not interested in the seven gifts in the catalogue, the international organization provides a larger range of choice. “It’s things that are important in terms of what Whitman students seem to be interested in right now,” said Menard. “There are 45 other gifts available through Alternative Gifts International and the plethora of alternative gift ideas. [And] if people are creative, it’s far bigger than that.” Alternative gifts provide a different way of looking at the holidays. The market provides choices while encouraging a subtle change in the way that we think

about the definition of a gift. The AGM attracts college students in particular because it suggests small, manageable donations—most running between three and nine dollars—instead of larger commitments. This strategy has worked well; the market raised 1300 dollars in 2008 and 1600 dollars in 2009. With no physical presents to handle, the programs do not have to charge extra for the gifts. “One of the ideas with this sort of market is to keep the costs as low as possible in order to have as much money as possible go towards the cause, ” said Menard. “We haven’t seen the drop that I expected there to be with regard to the economy . . . there seems to be more of a focus on gifts to others that aren’t materially-based.” Alternative gifts are on sale Nov. 29 through Dec. 3 in Reid Campus Center 223 from 9 a.m. to noon and 1 to 5 p.m., and in the foyer of Reid from noon to 1 p.m.

HONG

Cast members practice a scene using a tennis ball. Harper Joy’s production of “The Sea” provides students and three guest designers with many artistic opportunities.

by NATE LESSLER

Staff Reporter

Harper Joy Theater will be ending the first half of the 2010-2011 season with “The Sea”, a play that has provided its cast and crew with an incredible experience and promises to do the same for the audience. Written by English playwright Edward Bond, “The Sea” is set in a coastal village in England at the start of the 20th century. The story follows a villager who, after his friend drowns at sea, falls in love with the woman to which his friend was engaged. While the plot is relatively simple, Director Cynthia Croot noted that the themes and questions the play explores are what makes it interesting. “I’m most excited by the dichotomies in the play—the poor, the rich, the young, the old, as well as the larger questions about community, our place in the universe, and how we bring meaning to our lives,” said Croot in an e-mail. “Bond wrote a lot of very tragic, violent plays, and I was particularly intrigued by his take on a comedy.” Senior theater major and cast member Talia Gottlieb noted how Bond’s style of comedy provided challenges from an acting standpoint. “When you first read the play it seems so incredibly dark and violent and sad, [but] when performed you realize what an [optimistic play it] is,” she said. “The characters have the capacity to seem so one-dimensional . . . but they are incredibly complex. [What] has

been really fascinating for me is finding the compassion and humanity of this character that I’m playing who [at first] seems so hard and cruel and unforgiving.” Gottlieb’s performance in “The Sea” is part of her senior project. In addition to providing senior theater majors with the opportunity to base their thesis around the show, the play has also brought three guest designers to work on it. Assistant stage manager junior Sarah Wright noted how the visiting designers provided the students involved in the production with a unique opportunity. “[The guest designers] are all brilliant woman who are going to make this show so incredibly beautiful . . . they have a wealth of knowledge that is very encouraging for me as a student who wants to go into the world of theater. It’s an invaluable opportunity . . . [It’s different] from working with [student designers] in the sense that, not only are they working on a show, they are also there to be mentors,” said Wright. “The process has been very satisfying so far,” said Croot. “To dip down into the words of a playwright who thinks so deeply about the human condition, violence, conflict and community has been bracing and inspiring.” Wright, who is equally excited about the play, felt that the play would be just as an incredible experience for the audience as it was for the students who worked on it. “[The] show is going to be incredible and will change your life,” said Wright.

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PHOTOS BY BOWMAN The Winter Student Art Salon provides art majors as well as non­majors in art classes the chance to show off their works.The Salon accepts many mediums, with pieces ranging from charcoal portraits to book arts to experimential media.

Student talent on display at Sheehan Gallery’s juried salon by CJ WISLER A&E Editor

The Sheehan Gallery will open its final installment for the semester, the Fourth Annual Juried Winter Student Art Salon on Saturday, Dec. 4. While most of the gallery’s exhibits contain works from professional artists, this installment contains works from student art majors as well as non-majors taking art classes. “It’s a really cool experience, and it feels really special to have a piece featured in in such a professional way,” said ’10 alumni Curtis Reid, who will be featured in the gallery exhibit. Senior Teresa Hughes believes that the gallery allows for students the chance to learn how gallery showcases work without the pressure. “It’s a really good starting point for people wanting to go into the art business, which is not always emphasized in classes,” said Hughes. “This type of show [teaches] you how to apply and present work in a professional realm but in a relaxed ‘Whitman’ way.” While the relatively new exhibit accepts many pieces, Assistant Professor of Art Michelle Acuff believes that the event balances this acceptance with some selectivity. “It’s something the [art department] faculty has gone back and forth on, since it gets really crowded with many pieces in it, and too many pieces can weaken the

show,” said Acuff. “Every year the faculty sets out to . . . jury the show, and emulate a profession situation in which an entrant may or many not get into.” This balance ensures that talented students across academic departments have the chance to display their artwork, with a variety of awards given to the best works. “The jurying process is not about gatekeeping, but awarding—[last year] cash awards were given for the best work,” said Acuff. However, even if students do not get awarded a prize, the chance to display their work in this setting has many perks. “Since the event is a community event, Walla Walla residents come to admire the work. Last year a student sold his work because someone liked it so much,” said Hughes. “[The student] didn’t even expect it, and it wouldn’t have been sold if he didn’t get the chance to display [his work].” Aside from the immediate benefit to students whose works will be shown in the gallery, the exhibit also offers the general student body the chance to see the creative talent at Whitman. “What’s unique about [the installment] is that there are intermediate and advanced level students who are not art majors . . . but have works that are really strong,” said Acuff. “One thing that’s really powerful to me is seeing the content of one course show up in another course . . . when it naturally happens, that connection across disciplines . . . it’s really

exciting.” “The salon offers this great window into these talents that a lot of people at Whitman have,” said Curtis. “Whitman is very academically-minded and focused, and you don’t always know . . . people’s hobbies and talents in other areas. This [event] highlights the diversity of skills and interests throughout the student body.” Another major difference and opportunity this gallery offers is the diversity of artistic mediums and materials. “Most of the time . . . individual artists come in and do an installment, and they have a general theme and cohesion. Here, it’s more an eclectic gathering of pieces, an artistic sampler of sorts,” said Curtis. Hughes agrees. “There’s a real diversity in the pieces [displayed in the salon],” she said. “There are people from sculpture classes, paintings, drawings—pretty much everything.” Book arts, new media such as digital and video art, as well as other experimental forms have also been included in previous years. This diversity gives students the opportunity to see the amount of nontraditional mediums within the visual art world. “It highlights all the different mediums and ways art students work with materials, and gives you a sense of all the possibilities in art,” said Curtis. The salon’s opening reception will occur on Saturday, Dec. 4 at 3 p.m. in Sheehan Gallery.


A&E

December 2, 2010

MUSIC REVIEW

T HRIF T Y WHI T T IES

/01#$%,"++$2,&34*+&51)6#,+2&7#8+1%+,&91)6& Handy tips to take loose­ 3:-1;$+,,2&<#"*&"*+6+,&)9&()8+=&+6)"#)$ !""#$%&'()"*+,&#$&-&,#.+ by MCCAULAY SINGERMILNES Staff Reporter

Bruce Springsteen’s newest release “The Promise”, a collection of 21 songs that did not make it into his 1978 album “Darkness on the Edge of Town”, is the Holy Grail for Springsteen fans, as it provides them with a seemingly impossible revisit to his early days. “Darkness” marked the beginning of what would become a lifelong work habit of Springsteen’s: recording approximately five songs for every one that would make it into an album. When writing and recording songs for an album, Springsteen handpicked songs that, when woven together, created greater stories. Due to this creative style, the songs present on “Darkness” are of an entirely different nature than those found on “Promise”, despite the fact that they were recorded at the same time. “Darkness” is the story of life in a small town, the story of the people who work in factories, the story of hard lives, the story of the darkness present within us all. On the other hand, “The Promise” is a generally upbeat, though sometimes melancholy, commentary on love. This new album is reminiscent of Roy Orbison’s emotional ballads, and it’s more focused on relationships rather than the theme of human nature developed in “Darkness.” Springsteen’s tone is more fun, playful and carefree as he describes the ups and downs of his relationships,

PIO PICKS Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla over the weekend. Here are this week’s picks: Bookstore Winter Wonderland Open House: The Whitman Bookstore will have its Open House on Thursday, Dec. 2 from 3-7 p.m. The bookstore will offer door prizes and a 30 percent discount for students on major store items. Fifteen-year-old local violinist Anna Okada Burgess will also perform Celtic music with her father Jesse on guitar at 5:30 p.m. to promote her CD “Spring in Brassica”, which is also on sale in the bookstore. The funds from the CD sales will support Burgess’s trip to the American High School Honors Performance Series at Carnegie Hall in February 2011. Burgess will sign CDs afterward. Chorale and Chamber Singers Concert: Chorale and Chamber Singers will perform songs rehearsed throughout the semester at the Fall Concert on Saturday, Dec. 4. in Chism Recital Hall. Whitman’s Chorale will then perform on Sunday, Dec. 5 from 7-9 p.m. at the 25th Annual Feast of Carols. Walla Walla University Cantori, Edison Elementary School Choir, Walla Walla High School Choirs and the Village Church Choir will also participate in the event. The Feast of Carols will occur at Cordiner Hall from 7-9 p.m.

Parade of Lights: The annual parade will occur this Saturday, Dec. 4 from 6-7 p.m. The route follows from Boyer to Alder and then to Main Street. Local families, clubs and companies will deck their cars and trailers with holiday lights and hand out candy. Blue Mouno tain Action Council AmeriCorps will - also collect winter ware donations dury ing the parade. d - Outhouse Unplugged: The last un] plugged event will occur at the Out- house on Thursday, Dec. 2 at 8 p.m. The Outhouse encourages students to - bring a mug and musical instruments f to come join in on some nighttime singing, hot chocolate and baked vegan s goodies around a comfy fire. y , n

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the crazy chase of getting the girl and holding onto her. There are also some songs that relate more to the themes present on the final “Darkness”. The title song, “The Promise”, captures the emotions and troubles that accompany small town life, as his haunting voice cries, “and when the promise was broken, I cashed in a few of my dreams.” Fans will enjoy finding traces of beloved songs within the ones on “The Promise”, such as “Come On (Let’s Go Tonight)”, which contains the melody of “Factory”, trading the lyrics “it’s the working, the working, just the working life” for “come on, come on, let’s go tonight”. The album also has the fan favorite “Fire”, which has only been released on “Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band Live 1975-85”, a song Springsteen wrote and was made famous by The Pointer Sisters. People will also recognize the popular song “Because the Night”, another song Springsteen wrote and then sold, this time to singer Patti Smith. Springsteen was reluctant to use this song because he felt he wasn’t in the right place to record a love song of this nature. However, I feel completely confident in my assertion that his version is far better, as it is contains the same raw emotion without the grating whining. I believe fans will love this album because it is simply fascinating to see the deep thought and creative genius that

by OLIVIA JONES Columnist

went into “Darkness”, the album I believe is perhaps his greatest collection of songs. “The Promise” and “Darkness” are vastly different, and had Springsteen released the songs present on “The Promise” instead of those on “Darkness” he would be a completely different artist today. While “The Promise” is not his greatest musical contribution, as a long time fan, I love hearing this different side of Bruce that has started to surface over the decade. As always, his music is heartfelt, easy to relate to and a general work of genius. Fans must buy this album and relish in this once-in-a -lifetime opportunity to revisit his glory days. As a side note, the release of the album accompanied the release of a documentary by the same name, which chronicles the making of “Darkness on the Edge of Town”. I highly recommend watching this film to anyone who has ever enjoyed or been moved by Springsteen’s work.

BOOK REVIEW

‘Super Sad True Love Story’ not so experimental by ELLIE GOLD Staff Reporter

In the not-too-distant future—as nearly all dystopian fiction is set in the “not-toodistant-future”—America is falling apart. The only stable currency is Chinese-yuan-pegged-dollars, books are considered “bound and printed media artifacts” and everyone communicates through their äppäräti—a type of futuristic smartphone that practically controls its owner’s life. Lenny Abramov is an anomaly in this world—an unattractive aging man who would rather read “bound and printed media artifacts” than stream them, who would rather go to the park than shop for appallingly revealing clothing. On the last day of a wasted year in Rome, Lenny Abramov meets the beautiful yet damaged Eunice Park, a 22-year-old Korean-American girl from an abusive home. Lenny falls madly in love with her before being forced to return home, to the possible loss of his job in Post-Human Services—a department of the Staatling-Wapachung Corporation specializing in immortality and to the crumbling infrastructure of his America, where everything is privatized and no one is safe. Gary Shteyngart’s novel is a story of love and loss, of the trials of mortality and of the dangers already facing the United States. More interesting than Lenny’s embarrassing love story are the events occurring almost in the background—nearly every state service is becoming privatized, from the MTA to the National Guard; people are separated into two categories: Low Net Worth Individuals and High Net Worth Individuals (LNWI and HNWI); the U.S. economy is in the tank and the only currency with any value is the Chinese yuan. Furthermore, everything seems to have become a conglomerate, from the rather

prosaic UnitedContinentalDeltamerican Airlines to the hilarious LandOLakesGMFordCredit. The problems facing contemporary America are taken to their ridiculous, if moderately logical, extreme. It’s of no surprise, then, when the government topples, armed mercenaries owned by the Staatling-Wapachung Corporation take over the streets. Of course, although this crisis takes precedence for a few chapters, Lenny and Eunice’s love story is still going on in the foreground, so it fades into the background yet again. Most of the humor in this enjoyable novel relies on context and buildup—especially the eternally misspelled signs or the LOL-speak-filtered conversations that reflect the growing illiteracy of society. Books are “streamed” rather than read; at one point Eunice tells Lenny that she finds reading difficult because she “never really learned how to read texts . . . just to scan them for info.” Eunice’s generation, eternally plugged into their äppäräti, are CANEPA completely unable to communicate without them. This leads to one of the biggest disappointments of the novel. In a story all about technology and the pitfalls of the digital age, the novel’s presentation in the form of a “printed media artifact” means it sounds more like the “New York Times” eternal kvetching about the downfall of Western civilization at the hands of generation Me than it does like a nuanced analysis. It might have been more successful to present the story in a barrage of multimedia, words and images, form following content. A personal note: I read the novel as an eBook to try and find some analogy between the äppäräti within the novel and our nascent forms. Unfortunately, this only gave me a headache. I am apparently much too fond of my own printed media artifacts, even if they do “smell like wet socks.”

COMIC STRIP

If you are like me, chances are you have bought a garment from Goodwill or a market because it had a fun pattern and was some amazingly cheap price, only to take it home and realize that it was way too large. Or maybe you wear it all the time, but you still wish it would fit you better. If you have some patience, spare time and access to a sewing machine, I will tell you my tricks. While I usually write how-tos for students who most likely have access to the supplies needed in the article, most students don’t own a sewing machine, so forgive me for deviating here. But if you have the patience and are skillful and precise enough, you are welcome to follow these instructions and sew by hand. I did not bring my sewing machine to school, so I often save my alteration projects when I go home on break. Well, maybe Thanksgiving break or winter break are not the best time to be taking in your clothes, since you may have feasted enough to temporarily fill out your clothes. However, you will want some breathing room in your newly altered garment anyway. The first step in sewing is always to wash and iron the garment. You want to be sure of exactly how the fabric lays without the interference of any wrinkling that may throw off your measurements. Second, devise a plan for your alteration. For a blouse, check to see if it is tapered either under the breasts, or the shoulder blades, and if they are present make sure they fit your body. You can lengthen or add these, but you can’t usually shorten them. If they are placed too high, the garment is always going to fit awkwardly on

you. Tapering the garment apart from the seams is more for the drape than the fit. This is not where you are going to lose the bulk of the excess fabric. If you are tapering, you will want to do it before taking in the seams. Flip your blouse or dress inside out and with a ruler, and trace a matching line on either side of the garment that extends vertically under the breasts or shoulder blades. Fold the fabric along the line and right where your waist would fall, pinch the fabric between your fingers and pin the fold. If you are not going to take the tapering all of the way to the hem and rehem the garment, then keep the tapering under an inch at the deepest point. Allow it to very gradually taper out at each end. Pin along where you plan to sew and then flip the garment right side out and put it on to be sure that it looks good before beginning to sew. After you sew those, iron the seams flat from the right side of the garment and put it on inside out. Pinch the fabric on either side of your waist at the side seam and when it is as tight as you would like it and looks even on either side, pin both sides. Continue along the entirety of the side seam, making sure to pin on both sides as you go along. When finished, remove the garment and with a pencil trace the approximate line of your pins on one side, unpin and make sure the fabric lies flat and meets at the hem, then re-pin and sew. Fold the shirt vertically so you match sleeve to sleeve and line up the side seams on both sides. Trace the seam from the side you have sewed onto the other side and then pin and sew that side. You have successfully altered your garment, so go enjoy your nice fitted clothes!

>-((-&>-((-&01)8#7+,&()'-(&%#9", by NATE LESSLER Staff Reporter

With only two weeks left before the end of the first semester, it’s time for students to start thinking about gifts for the holidays. Below, The Pioneer provides a list of the top eight local shops to check out for holiday gifts—all within just a very short distance of campus. 1. Bright’s Candies: Located on Main Street, this family-owned candy shop is by far your best bet for edible gifts and treats. The shop (which is over 75 years old) contains many great gift options, including boxes of chocolate, gift cards and fudge. A variety of gift packages are also available in multiple sizes. 2. Book and Game Company: Books are always a great idea, but it’s Book and Game Co.’s large game section that makes them unique. In addition to classic and more well-known games, the store also has a fantastic selection of lesser-known games such as the award-winning German games “Settlers of Catan” and “Ticket to Ride”, as well as the strategic and hilarious card game “Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot”. These and a variety of other games are a great gift for family members or siblings, and will provide a variety of entertainment for over the month long winter break. 3. Inland Octopus: Although Book and Game Co. has a fantastic selection of games, Inland Octopus is a far better choice if you are looking for toys and games for younger siblings. Located right next to Bright’s Candies and made noticeable by its colorful mural, Inland Octopus has a great selection of toys for all different ages. Although the shop contains a number of brand name toys, the best thing to check out here are the smaller and more unique items, which are also conveniently cheaper. 4. Hot Poop: Hot Poop lives up to its title as Washington’s oldest independent

record store by being the most fun store in town. Of course, the store offers a great selection of CDs, but in an age when songs are available at the touch of a button, CDs aren’t the only reason to check out Hot Poop. Hot Poop also offers a great amount of gifts that can’t be downloaded, such as vinyl records and music memorabilia including posters and clothing. 5. Olive Marketplace and Café: Created by the founder of T. Maccarone’s, Olive is one of the newer restaurants in Walla Walla. Located on Main Street, Olive is more than just your regular café. In addition to selling soups, salads, sandwiches and treats, the shop also has a great selection of cheeses and wines (if you are of age), and a variety of cooking ingredients for sale. Out of all the places on this list, Olive is the best choice for gifts for parents or other adults. 6. Starbucks: Although Starbucks is not the first place that comes to mind when one thinks of holiday shopping, the store actually provides some good options of gifts including CDs, mugs and gift cards. Although a Starbucks gift card is not a particularly unique or personal gift, let’s be honest: most people would be happy to receive one. 7. Goodwill: A fun option for gifts for other Whitman friends who you want to get a gift for but don’t want to spend too much money on. The store has a specific section dedicated to the holidays and holiday presents all of which are fun, unique and cheap. However, the funnest products are the random items scattered throughout the store, such as fun scarves, games and various knick-knacks. 8. Whitman Bookstore: For those who don’t feel like walking a few blocks in the cold, the Whitman Bookstore is an ideal option for gifts. In addition to the selection of cards available, the store contains a nice selection of gifts for family members, including everything from Whitman clothing to mugs and other glassware.


Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 11 DEC 2, 2010 Page 6

4+2',5*$6"*7'%6"##$8('*$9+0$%+3$:4;$*3+%$ by TYLER HURLBURT Staff Reporter

JACOBSON With a deeper and healthier roster, this season’s team is able to run a full practice. Starter Anna Forge ‘11 takes advantage of this fact, training with her team before its 2S'%$%&)L2%T'('%L')&"A'+)U'LH).)"%K)EH

After a season plagued by injuries, the Whitman College women’s basketball team looks to capitalize on its newfound depth and added talent. Last year, season-ending injuries for starters seniors Jenele Peterson and Anna Forge, along with other non-season ending injuries, forced an already small bench to step up and play hard. Despite the injuries, the Missionaries were able to end the season with a 7-9 record in the Northwest Conference, placing fifth. Head Coach Michelle Ferenz is ready to move on from last season, accepting that the injuries of last year were atypical. “Injuries, illness, all of that is part of the season,” Ferenz said. “What happened to us was unusual, but injuries happen.” This year’s team is turning heads and making it known that they are looking to move up in the conference. A preseason coach’s poll put Whitman in third, behind Lewis & Clark and defending champions George Fox University. Living up to their preseason ranking, Whitman won the WHIT Classic women’s basketball tournament in Spokane, Wash. on Nov. 19 and 20. The Missionaries were the only undefeated team at the tournament, beating Northwest University 70-69 and UC-Santa Cruz 69-50. This season, the addition of six new faces to the seven returners from last

year serves as a greatly needed boost to the team’s depth. “We have way more players,” Peterson said. “There is so much more depth; we can actually run a full practice.” While the major challenge of last year was dealing with injuries, this year the team must focus on incorporating all the newcomers into the team. “Our challenge is coming together,” Ferenz said. “We’re pretty specific about what we run, so there is a learning curve.” Whitman is not simply content with their third place preseason ranking; the team wants to compete for first. To accomplish this, they are going to rely on the added depth of the team to supplement that talent that has been there. “We have the capabilities to [win the conference],” Ferenz said. “We have the raw tools. You have to have depth.” Whitman has an early challenge to these aspirations in Lewis & Clark College, whom the Missionaries play in their second conference game on Dec. 4 in Portland, Ore. The Pioneers finished forth last year in the NWC and were ranked second in the preseason poll. “We are going to compete for conference against Lewis & Clark,” Peterson said. Whitman opens conference play against Linfield College in McMinnville, Ore. on Friday Dec. 3, followed the next day with their game against Lewis & Clark. The first home games of the season come on December 11 and 12 at the Kim Evanger Raney Classic.

For the men’s basketball players, the holidays hardly change anything about the team’s training schedule, the only change being an early practice on Thanksgiving Day. “[We want to] improve a little bit every day,” said Bridgeland. “Expectations are to do what we do and take away what [our opponent] does best.” Many athletes feel similarly to their coaches, keeping up the mindset that the holiday breaks are just part of the package of being on a winter sports team. The breaks are viewed as a chance to focus on individual improvement, in addition to the fullteam dynamic. “I think athletes take the holidays very seriously,” said senior basketball player Jenele Peterson. “Because we do not get Thanksgiving off and only

about five days of winter break we continue to practice and workout just as hard. With more time in our days because of no classes, we have time to workout more as a team and individually to prepare for conference.” “We work hard all year to play well in January,” said Ferenz. “So it is important that [the athletes] work out when they go home and that they are ready to go again when they get back.” While the holiday breaks don’t present many changes or interruptions for many athletes, there are some who annually encounter challenges, such as finding training locations and having to be away from the rest of the athletes in a team sport. “One of the main reasons I love swimming is the team aspect,” said sophomore swimmer Libby Arnosti. “Training alone during breaks is not usually as fun, but it does offer an op-

portunity for me to do some technical work and other specific things for myself. It can be harder to find internal motivation to train during breaks without the team providing me with external motivation, but obviously I keep in mind the importance of maintaining my strength and conditioning so that I make the best of the season.” Overall, winter sports athletes and coaches view the holiday breaks as something that will always come, so everyone might as well work with them instead of fight the prospects the breaks present. “[Holiday breaks are] just part of the season and I don’t find it disruptive,” said Ferenz. “I think we all appreciate the break.” “It’s a little unfortunate that we have two significant breaks during our season,” said Arnosti. “Particu-

Women’s cross country NCAA DIII National Championships 11/20 !"##$%&'()*%$+,'+)-./0, Women’s basketball 12(0,3'+0)4%$5'(+$06)--7-/ (WHIT Classic) 89):;<=/ UC­Santa Cruz 11/20 (WHIT Classic) 89)=/<>; Northwest University 11/26 L, 74­71 Evergreen State 11/27 W, 68­46 Men’s basketball ?@#0%2A",)!$B#')C2##'&')--7-/ W, 121­68 Portland Bible College 11/20 89)/D<:E Eastern Oregon University 11/26 F9)//</G Northwest University 11/27 F9)DD<:/ Women’s swimming Northwest Invitational 11/20­ 11/21 2nd of 6 -H)I@&'0)J2@%K)>GD GH)8,$0A"%)E;> .H)I"L$*L)F@0,'("%)E;. ... Men’s swimming Northwest Invitational 11/20­ 11/21 2nd of 6 1. Puget Sound 472 GH)8,$0A"%)E=. .H)I"L$*L)F@0,'("%).=> ...

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HOLIDAY: Breaks challenge winter athletes  page 1

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larly winter b r e a k , which is so long a n d c o in-

cides with the peak of our training. But it forces us to really take responsibility for our swimming. I think the training we do on our own during these breaks can make or break our season.” The men’s and women’s basketball teams begin Northwest Conference play December 3 with away games at Linfield College. Men’s and women’s swimming travel to Federal Way, Wash. for the Husky Invitational December 3-5 before returning home to face Linfield College in a dual conference meet January 14.

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!"##$"%&#'%()*$)+,)#-.'$*'"*+,/$0'1')%$+,$"))+23#(*&2',%* by LIBBY ARNOSTI Staff Reporter

With ice and snow covering the ground, it is clear that fall in Walla Walla has ended. For many athletes on campus, this also marks the end of their sport’s competitive season. Men’s and women’s cross-country, golf, soccer, tennis and women’s volleyball have recently wrapped up their fall seasons, received recognition for their achievements and began to reflect upon the accomplishments of these past few months. Under the guidance of new Head Coach Scott Shields, the cross-country team took fifth in the Northwest Conference this season. Shields coached women’s soccer for 16 seasons and switched just this past year. For the women, major highlights included sending senior Kristin Ballinger to Division III Nationals for a third time in her college career. Ballinger and sophomore Emilie Gilbert also earned all-region honors. Although men’s top runner, sophomore Cory Rand, was hindered by an injury, the men felt that they, too, had a successful season. “We were very consistent and peaked at the right time,” said senior captain John Callow. With promising young runners, including first-years Spencer Corwin and Rand for the men, and sophomores Emily Gilbert and Lori Mendelsohn for the women, the team looks forward to building on their successes next fall. Men’s soccer earned themselves second place in the Northwest Conference for the second time in three years under head coach Mike Washington, who was named the Northwest Conference Coach of the Year. The men ended on a definitively strong note, with seven victories and one tie in the last eight games in their season.

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Their final conference record was 9-3-2, with two particularly noteworthy wins against rival Whitworth College, whom they hadn’t beaten for ten years prior. Senior captains Cooper Crosby and Connor Bottomly were named two of the twelve players on the All-Northwest Conference First Team. Junior Sam Freedman got onto the Second Team, while junior Brian Percival and sophomore Leland Matthaeus received honorable mentions. Women’s soccer was defined by its transition to new playing strategies and styles. “This season was a big learning experience for women’s soccer with a new coach [Heather Cato] and a new playing style,” said junior Libby Watkins. Additionally, nearly half the team was

made up of new players. Despite these challenges, the women found their footing this season and worked hard to develop an effective team dynamic on the field. Their final conference record of 4-10-2, the same as that of the last two years, landed them seventh in the Northwest Conference. “Even though the results don’t reflect it, I really believe we made tremendous improvements in our game,” said sophomore Erin Flannery. Flannery, who was named to the AllNorthwest Conference Second Team, was among three sophomores who earned all-conference honors for their excellent performances throughout the season. The other two, Julianne Masser and Marisa

Poorboy, received honorable mentions. “We’re all really committed to working hard this off-season because we have high hopes for next season,” said Watkins. The similarly young women’s volleyball team ended their conference season with a record of 5-11, which earned them seventh place in the Northwest Conference, tied with Willamette University. They were one game away from a fourth place tie between Linfield College, Lewis & Clark College and George Fox University. With a slow start of 0-6, the women amped up their game mid-season to win five of their next eight matches. First-year outside hitter Jillian Davis earned the honor of being the first Whitman player ever to be named NCAA Divi-

sion III West Region Freshman of the Year and the only first-year put on this year’s All-West Regional First Team. She finished her season with a total of 378 kills. Sophomore middle blocker Courtney Brewer received an honorable mention, finishing her season with the secondhighest number of total blocks (86) in the conference. Like the women’s soccer team, the women look forward to building upon their recent improvements next fall. The men’s golf team finished in fifth place in the Northwest Conference this fall. First-year Andrew Welch individually took fifth and senior Brian Barton seventh at the Northwest Conference Fall Classic. The women’s team tied with the University of Puget Sound for fourth in the Northwest Conference. First-year Katie Zijacek took fifth individually at the Northwest Conference Fall Classic. Like golf, the primary competitive season for tennis is in the spring. However, their short fall season was filled with achievements for both men and women. First-year men’s tennis player Andrew La Cava earned himself a spot at Division III Nationals—both individually and as part of a doubles team with partner sophomore Conor Holton-Burke. The women also sent their top doubles pair, sophomore Alyssa Roberg and senior Elise Otto, to Nationals. This was Otto’s second trip to Nationals. “Women’s tennis had an outstanding fall season this year. The entire team is embracing the challenge of continuing to improve after a great spring last year,” said Head Coach John Hein. The end of the fall season comes after a variety of challenges and victories. These teams model the spirit which drives Whitman athletics to constantly strive for improvements and enjoy playing the sports they love.


Opinion

The Pioneer ISSUE 11 DEC 2, 2010 Page 7

Journalism should grow Chinese journalist challenges President spine, refute fallacies Obama during recent G­20 summit Some things are just wrong. Two plus two, no matter how you figure it, does not equal cheese. So why then do journalists insist on giving equal weight to people BLAIR FRANK whose opinions are equally as wrong? Columnist Here’s an example: I could state, for the record, that George Bridges has a bow tie he made with the pelt of a mink that he killed himself. I honestly doubt that he does. What the president’s office would probably do in that case is release a statement stating unequivocally and emphatically that the president does not own such a bow tie. Now, if The Pioneer were to run a story based upon the two statements and gave them equal space on the page (following what some call the “equal time doctrine”), it is possible to construe that as meaning the two statements have equal merit, which is not the case, since I made mine up. When it comes to reporting on factual questions, there should be no room for error. Of course, on the grand scale of things, a mink bow tie isn’t that big of a deal. Problems arise when the equal time doctrine gets applied to matters of national importance. Here’s what I mean: if a certain politician from Alaska says that a healthcare bill contains provisions that create “death panels”, it’s our job as journalists to figure out whether or not it does. The bill, as it stood then, did not contain any such provisions. As members of the media, we’re responsible for providing the world with what is factually accurate. Reporting what people (especially politicians) say without determining the truth of their statements is a disservice to the public we hope to serve. Here’s another important case study: the evolution “debate.” In the scientific community, there’s no question as to whether

or not the theory of evolution by natural selection is factually correct. Let me say that again: among people who actually know what they’re talking about, there is no question as to whether or not species evolve over time. The media, by giving credence to people who would rather deny the factual accuracy of a scientific theory that has been proven and re-proven hundreds of times over, is tacitly helping to promote the fallacies these ignoramuses are peddling. This epidemic of journalistic spinelessness has been caused, at least in part, by those who consume news, as well as those of us who report on it. Journalism is, most of the time, a for-profit enterprise, and there has been increasing pressure not to seem “partisan” in reporting stories—thus, the equal time doctrine. That comes at a cost, sometimes to public well-being. Consider the idea that vaccines cause autism, as first proposed in a rather shoddily done study published by the British medical journal “Lancet.” That study has since been discredited based on its research methods, as well as years of research that has failed to corroborate the findings of the original study. Furthermore, both “Lancet” and the study’s author have retracted it. However, that unfortunately has not stopped people from continuing to push that particular explanation. The reduction in vaccination has, in turn, caused some major public health problems. Vaccines are really good at protecting people, especially kids, from getting nasty, potentially deadly diseases. San Diego is facing a near-epidemic of pertussis (better known as whooping cough) in children because of a lack of vaccination. Whooping cough is a horrible, highly contagious disease, and the outbreak in San Diego has led to the deaths of at least five infants. That brings me to my bottom line: journalists need to stop pulling punches. If someone is factually wrong, they need to get called on it. It’s a simple solution that will help save lives and our public discourse.

!""#$%"&'()'*(+$+'+,-'".#'/01#+,'+,-'2.3,#&#'%1#&&#&'"0'&+4#'5+6#'(+6781#-'-91­ 3,:'".#';<=>'&9$$3"'3,'?09".'/01#+'@.#,'+'2.3,#&#'A091,+B3&"'6.+BB#,:#-'*(+$+C The confrontation between President Obama and the CCTV business channel anchor Rui Chenggang at the G-20 summit was a conflict over DING LI saving face. Obama’s confiColumnist dence that South Korea would sign the free trade agreement with the U.S. proved to be misunderstood. American critics say it’s really an “embarrassing disappointment” for President Obama. To save face and display that America can still be good partners with Korea, Obama offered Korean journalists a chance to ask him a question. Usually in Obama’s press conferences, he assigns journalists specific questions to ask. During the summit in Korea, only American journalists who had accompanied him had chances to ask questions, so opening the floor to Korean press was a deliberate face-saving act by President Obama. He said, “I feel obliged to take maybe one question from Korean press, since you guys have been such excellent hosts.” The “excellent hosts” refused to open their market to U.S. automobiles, an act which could bring as many as 70,000 jobs in the U.S. Unfortunately, the Korean press wasn’t thrilled to take the invitation and help Obama save face. Finally, the journalist Rui Chenggang stood up after 30 seconds of embarrassing silence and apologized with mock sincerity, “Unfortunately, I hate to disappoint you, President Obama. I’m actually Chinese.” Rui wrote in his blog that he felt the silence was so embarrassing, both for the president and for the Korean press,

Committee needs student representation On November 18, The Pioneer reported that Whitman College faculty had voted to establish a curriculum committee to address enrollment presZACH sure concerns. DUFFY According to Columnist Andrea Dobson, associate professor of astronomy and general studies and chair of the faculty, the committee will help ensure that courses are more evenly distributed throughout available time slots, that enough courses are offered in both the fall and spring semesters, and that students are provided with advanced notice of the courses to be offered in following semesters. But baffilingly, student representation on the committee was removed by the upper echelons of faculty governance prior to a vote on the proposal by the entire faculty. Time to add another decision to the “what were they thinking?” list. All this semester, I have been proposing different ways to improve student life on the Whitman campus that would be costly and difficult to implement. So I haven’t been surprised when they have been received with little enthusiasm by the Whitman administration and

faculty. But including a student representative on the new curriculum committee wouldn’t cost a cent or waste a minute. The idea has been championed by ASWC and certain members of the faculty from the beginning. Neglecting to include students in future decisions on the curriculum without any good reason to do so, at least not for the reasons cited in last week’s issue, seems to me about as wise as neglecting to solicit student input on the 3-2 shift. We all know how that turned out. Student involvement in the academic and operational affairs of colleges is looked upon favorably by some institutions. Three students—one from each academic division—sit on Grinnell College’s curriculum committee. Three students also serve on curriculum committees at Pomona College, Pitzer College, St. Olaf College and Emory University. There’s actually a law in California that requires student representation on the board of trustees of each community college. The fact that Whitman students have been forced to fight for token representation on Whitman’s curriculum committee in this context is infuriating. As ASWC Vice President senior John Loranger said in last week’s Pio article, students bring a perspective to decisions on academic affairs that professors and administrators often overlook. After all, students “are the ones experiencing the

curriculum everyday” and feeling the effects of shifts in academic policies. We’re the ones paying a great deal of tuition to the college in exchange for the promise of a satisfactory academic experience. And we ought to be able to ensure that future decisions concerning Whitman’s academic program enrich that experience rather than diminish its quality, or at least have our voices heard in the process. While I appreciate the efforts of Dobson and Provost and Dean of Faculty Tim Kaufman-Osborn to address the problems arising this year from enrollment pressure, I’m sick and tired of hearing “we’re working on it” when other institutions seem to have handled the shift to 3-2 in a manner so much friendlier to student interests. Take Carleton College as an example, where tenured professors decided to postpone the shift to 3-2 for two years in order to moderate the effects of the shift on the college’s academic program. Or Grinnell, which created a curriculum committee with student representation and adopted a student-friendly registration system for entering firstyears even though the college has more than enough money to solve enrollment pressure by hiring more tenure track faculty. Whitman can’t afford to treat its students as half-citizens any longer. It’s time to get this right.

POLI T IC AL C ARTOON

DOUGLAS

that he needed to do something to lessen the tension. Saving face is such an important concept in Asian culture, where shame and honor are valued much higher than in European and American society. Chenggang felt ashamed of being an Asian in this circumstance and felt he must do something to save the face of Asians. So he said, “I think I get to represent the entire Asia,” thereby discounting the experiences of the Korean press and homogenizing Asian cultures.

Unfortunately, the Korean press wasn’t willing to take the invitation to help Obama save face. Though Obama replied that Chenggang could “absolutely” represent the entire Asia, Obama was shocked and rapidly losing his composure. The United States has already displayed fear that Asian countries are working simultaneously, so Chenggang’s attempts to ask a question “on behalf of Asia” was particularly threatening. “In fairness though, I did say that I was gonna let the Korean press ask a question,” Obama insisted as he scanned the audience for another question from the Korean press. Still, no takers! Obama laughed a hollow laugh and nervously commented, “This is getting more complicated than I expected!” Members of the Korean press must have been deciding whether or not to stand up during the pause and alleviate the awkwardness. If they had decided to ask a question in lieu of Chenggang,

they would be denying an opportunity to China, a country that holds 20 percent of Korea’s foreign trade. By denying the question, they refused the olive branch that Obama was trying to offer. Whose face is more important to the Korean press? In the end, Korea refused the question and Chenggang continued to press his question, much to Obama’s embarrassment. However, it wasn’t long before Chenggang urged Obama to “take a quick question from Asia.” Rui was actually attempting to save Obama’s face by offering him a way out, but Obama didn’t seem to appreciate this attempt. He finally hesitantly permitted Chenggang to ask a question. Afterwards, a white journalist stood up and asked Obama, “Do you think you can really convince people living in Korea buying more American beef?” Another face-saving question! How did all these actions work out? CCTV reported the confrontation but cut out the part that Chenggang was trying to represent the entire Asia. Chenggang was warmly welcomed by most citizens and was later nominated as one of the best CCTV anchors. But in comments under YouTube video clips about this confrontation, Chenggang is highly criticized for attempting to represent China, Korea and the entirety of Asia. Obama was forced to handle the situation with less ease than expected. People felt sorry and even sympathetic towards him, while simultaneously mocking his efforts. One commenter called Obama “a joke”. Certainly, Obama didn’t seem to save face successfully. Korean press has been widely criticized for its silence. Declining Obama’s invitation to ask a question absolutely didn’t save him any face. The face-saving conflict had a face-losing conclusion.

Solar projects require compromise In the discussion about America’s energy future, solar power is the shining star of the e nv i r o n m e n t a l movement. Whitman’s own solar panels, installed RACHEL on the roof of the ALEXANDER Brattain Tennis Columnist Center in the summer of 2009, were celebrated as a major achievement by environmental groups on campus. Far from campus, in the Mojave Desert, another type of solar power is pitting environmentalists against each other. As part of Interior Secretary Ken Salazar’s plan to put 10,000 megawatts of renewable energy generating capacity on public lands, many utility-scale concentrated solar projects have been proposed in the sensitive desert habitat of the Mojave. Unlike photovoltaic (PV) panels, concentrated solar plants use mirrors to reflect the sun’s rays towards a focal point, which heats water to run a steam turbine and generator. While many environmental groups are eager to build plants as quickly as possible, others are categorically opposed to all utility-scale projects in the desert because of the effects they would have on habitat. Both of these sides have valid points, but they will need to be proactive and work together to reinvent our grid. Concentrated solar is no silver bullet. Although carbon neutral, the proposed projects in the Mojave are far from environmentally benign. The Mojave is the only relatively intact ecosystem in North America besides the tundra, and provides habitat for a variety of plants and animals found nowhere else on Earth, including the endangered desert tortoise. Building concentrated solar plants would require leveling the ground and in some cases, fencing off areas up to ten square miles. Building transmission lines to remote desert sites would add exponentially to the negative environmental impacts of the solar. Because of these impacts, groups like the California Sierra Club, the Alliance for Responsible Energy Policy and Desert Survivors have organized in opposition to all proposed public lands solar projects. They believe that solar policy should focus on small-scale, decentralized PV generation, which would initiate projects like Whitman’s panels on the tennis center. This system works via a feed-

in tariff, which charges all power users a small premium on their electricity to fund payments to people who produce power for the grid. This energy future is very appealing; it’s simple, logical and cost-effective. However, it’s also impractical. Groups who favor the decentralized grid point out that Germany has been very successful using a feed-in tariff model to incentivize small-scale PV solar development. But the U.S. isn’t Germany. We exist in a political climate where many politicians refuse to admit that climate change is occurring at all, and even the most vocal defenders of renewable energy are unwilling to go head-to-head with large utilities over their virtual monopoly on power production. PV also has its environmental problems, as many panels contain cadmium, which is a highly toxic heavy metal. This isn’t to say that the feed-in tariff isn’t a good idea, but it’s unlikely to become widespread enough in the U.S. to install the generating capacity we need. Climate change might heat the Mojave enough that the desert tortoise is no longer able to exist there at all, rendering any efforts to save its habitat by preventing development ultimately meaningless. If opposing any and all desert solar projects is short-sighted, it is equally dangerous to push renewable energy development at all costs, without consideration for site location. Some groups like the Nature Conservancy and the Wilderness Society are making efforts to identify good sites for development, like lands already degraded by mining or agricultural use. The Bureau of Land Management should begin to take a more proactive role in solar development, by proposing these ideal sites to solar companies, rather than waiting for them to select areas of their own. By proactive collaboration, environmental groups can increase renewable energy generation while preserving the most ecologically sensitive areas of the desert. However, even the best solar site proposals won’t mean anything for the planet if we keep burning coal to get our electricity. Solar power isn’t clean energy if it doesn’t result in fossil fuel plants getting taken offline. Regardless of how we choose to harness the sun’s energy—concentrated mirrors, PV panels, or some combination of the two—we need to make sure that we don’t lose sight of the bigger energy picture. If the California Sierra Club and the Wilderness Society combined forces to close coal plants, we’d be one step closer to greening our grid.


The Pioneer

Backpage

This page is full of opinionated jokes!

ISSUE 11 DEC 2, 2010 Page 8

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As a true American, there are two things that I love most in this world. They are tied for first in my heart: America and my family. God bless them all. So when I heard all this hustle and bustle about these new body scanners in the airports, I was all for them. No reason I am not willing to show off my all-American naked self to some honorable TSA agent. I know he is doing his job to protect this country from those damned anti-American devils. And besides, who says I can’t make his day a little more pleasant by showing him a body that God made and I sculpted with my anti-terrorism workout? You can get in shape, too—all it takes is the determination to save our country.

First, and most importantly, the more you sweat, the lower the terrorist threat goes. Truly. Now there are several aerobic moves that you can repeat until you feel safe and secure in the land of the free: 1. High-kicks for Homeland Security: Start with your feet

planted evenly on the ground. Now swing one leg into the air as high as you can. Switch off between legs, 10 reps for each leg. This works the buns, and with some of those TSA agents, that is the first place they are going to look. I mean, sweetie, some guys are just booty guys. But those booty guys are protecting our air-borders.

HIGH KIC KS for HOMEL A ND

SE CUR I T Y

2. Kick-ass Crunches: This is just a regular crunch, but in-

stead of counting, do a crunch for every word in the Pledge of Allegiance and repeat the Pledge of Allegiance 10 times. No one wants to see those belly rolls, and when you are getting scanned in that security line, you don’t want your belly to look like those amber waves of grain. It should look as tight as these body scanners make security against terrorism.

3. High Knees, Low Terrorism Threat: As quickly as you

can (it better be real quick because terrorism is out there), alternate lifting each knee as high as you can from a standing position. The high knees tone your legs, which are really defined in the scanners, so you want them to be as jaw-dropping as possible. Remember, the hotter you are, the more effective the scanners. If you are really patriotic, the scanner should think Heidi Klum is in there.

4. Leg-lifts for Liberty: Lay

on your side, plant the foot of the leg on top on the ground, lift the bottom leg up about six inches and lower back. Repeat 10 reps for each leg. This also sculpts the buns, again, allowing for optimum security of the country.

5.

Patriotic

TS for LEG-LIFTY

LIBER

TIC O I R T A P -UPS

PUSH

by RANDY MYERS A Bro

Yo, Matt, thanks for inviting me over to play some XBox. You ready to get your ass kicked in some Halo? Awesome, lemme just polish off this bag of Cheetos before you toss me that controller. You want any? No? That’s cool, bro. Dude, I wished you lived closer. I had to jog like ten blocks and now my hands are all sweaty. I guess it’s cool though because the Cheetos dust kind of sticks to them so I have some extra traction to hold the controller with. Speaking of which, can you hand me that controller, bro? I’m ready to lay the smack down, Randy-style! Ooh. Actually, can you hang on a second? I gotta use the can. I’ll be back in a sec, and then you can fork over that controller so I can show you how it’s done, baby! Hey man, I’m back. Sorry I took so long. You got some sweet-ass mags in there bro. Oh yeah, but you’re out of soap. More traction for the pad, know what I’m saying? Anyway, there’s this “National Geographic” in there that has some chicks with their tops off in it. You can like, see their titties and everything. It’s so sweet. Um. Yo, I gotta go to the bathroom again real quick. I’ll be back in like five seconds and then you can give me a turn with that controller. Okay, I’m back. Randy’s ready to school some fools at Halo, this shit is gonna be hardcore to the max. Oh yeah, you’re out of hand lotion in your bathroom. I, uh, had too much traction. It was gonna mess with my game, knaameen? All right, I’m just gonna finish hand-mixing this bag of Ruffles with sour cream and then I’m gonna be ready to grab that controller over there.

If living with your friend teaches you anything, it’s that passive aggression can be the most frustrating and annoying thing you will ever encounter in your life. It’s like, just tell me what’s

O. JOHNSON

So let’s get out there, get hot and get scanned to fight terrorism because we LOVE THIS COUNTRY!

point

Hey Bro, lemme see that controller for a second

It's really pissing me off how Steve pretends like he's super injured after being shot maybe twice by LT. MITCH ROGERS Lieutenant

Oh my God, you guys. Who told Steve he could come with us on our patrol? This was supposed to be cool. I mean, normally Steve is fine. I don’t mind Steve. But it’s really pissing me off how he’s all, “Oh my God, I’m like, sooo injured,” after being shot maybe twice. I mean, it’s so embarrassing for him. We all know he’s faking it just to get attention. I mean, we’ve already been shot like, three or four times in the torso and we’re not going “medic, medic! I’m like, so wounded over here!” Dave’s been shot five times in the chest and he’s still doing just fine. And yeah, when we get really wounded we might get a little crazy. But we’re not gonna fake it after two shots. Steve’s just looking for an excuse to be slutty so he can blame it on getting shot in the morning. God, what a ho-bag. I just hate it when people like him ruin these skirmishes for everyone else.

GUYS, MY ROOMMATE IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!

Push-ups:

There are several variations of the push-up (one-armed, wide-armed, weights on your back, etc.). Whichever you choose—and that is the beauty of America, the freedom to choose—do as many push-ups as you can to tone your arms. No TSA agent wants to see flabby arms. My sister got dumped for having flabby arms. Anyway, our job as American women is to support these body scanners by being as sexy as we can be!

OMG! OP­ED SECTION!

on your mind, don’t beat around the bush. I’ve been keeping track of all the passive aggressive things I’ve heard since moving into my new house with my best friend forever Billy:

1. "I don’t necessarily mind that the living room is so dirty, I’m just wondering how it got so messy in such a short amount of time." 2. "Yesterday, I found this T-shirt lying on the ground in the living room and I’m just going to go ahead and say that it’s probably the grossest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m not saying it needs to be washed, I’m jut saying don’t leave it on ground." 3. "Hey Joel, it’s just a little disconcerting when you do that in the middle of the living room. I don’t care that you put a T-shirt down before doing it. Just don’t do it."

counterpoint

Dude, Are You Crying? by DAVE ELLIS Not Crying

Hey, Jeffster! Dude, you gotta call Amy up and have her come over. Me and the guys are gonna grab some dinner at that new Thai place, and I bet she’d be totally into it. Sean was saying they have these chicken things you can dip in this really spicy peanut sauce and... hey, Jeff, are you okay? Dude, you don’t look so good. Are you all right? Whoa, Jeff! Dude, are you crying? Jeff, is everything okay man? Did Amy dump you or something? I thought you guys were cool now, she was over here like a week ago! Dude, it’s okay, man! Are you really crying?

I'm Not Crying! by JEFF DUGONI Crying

Dude, I’m not crying, all right? I’m just—shit. Fuck. I’m not crying, I’ve just—I’ve just got some stuff in my eye. It’s pollen. Winter pollen. Okay? I’m fine. Amy and I are fine. Everything is cool. God, just— just back off, all right? I’m sorry, I know you’re just trying to help. But just, just—I’m not crying, bro. I probably have an eye infection or something. In both eyes. One that makes it look like I’m crying, but I’m actually not. It’s all good. It’s all good in the hood, bro! Haha! Ahhh. Christ. I’m okay, dude. I’m fine. Let’s just get some Thai food. Jesus, this fucking, this fucking winter pollen. It’s just getting in my infected eyes. Shit. I’m not crying.

4. "Um, I don’t want to be confrontational, but Joel, you really need to start using the bathroom to do that. I know you like 'being outdoors' and going on 'camping trips' but when you come home, you leave those habits in the woods. This is brand new carpet for God’s sake and the T-shirt is in no way protecting." 5. A Post-it note I found on the dining room table: "Seriously Joel—I can’t take this anymore. If I see one more turd lying in the middle of the living room, I’m moving out and you won’t have anyone left to split the rent with, not to mention you’ll have no friends. Please start using the toilet." 6. "Are you kidding me?! What in the hell?! This is outrageous. Outrageous. Is this—how on earth were you not potty trained as a kid, Joel? Use the god-forsaken TOILET. And while I’m having guests over?! C’mon dude. New low, bro, new low. I can’t believe how many times I’ve had to remind you. I’m moving out." 7. [Haz-Mat b-holes that Billy called]: "Sir, We’re going to need you to evacuate the premises. The fumes in here are highly explosive. You’ve put !"#$%&'()*+,)!"#$)+&-./0"$%)*1)$-%2)"()/"#%&)3$&%)*+,)4"+1$*41-+.)5&6*titis B. We need to sterilize the house."

SO annoying right? I mean it’s like, come on. People can be so afraid just to tell a dude upfront, “Hey Joel, I’m man enough to admit that I have a turd phobia.” That’s all I want to hear. Instead, dudes get defensive, yell, blame it on the fact that I “haven’t

been raised well”. It’s not like I was raised by wolves. They’re called coyotes, okay? And they’re much more intelligent than the world gives them credit for. God. Different strokes for different folks raised by different animals, you know? Jeez.


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