Whitman Pioneer - Fall 2010 Issue 6

IN THIS ISSUE

Wine touring in the Walla Walla Valley

Ranger and the Re-Arrangers

Fandom at Whitman disappoints

A guide to the many wineries and tasting rooms in downtown Walla Walla and the surrounding valley. pages 4-5

Alumnus Ranger Sciacca ‘09 brings “gypsy jazz” to Coffeehouse for Parent’s Weekend jam.

Page 8

Varsity athletes work to cultivate dedicated, consistent fan base. page 7

WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVII Issue 6 whitmanpioneer.com O , 

J-Spot lecture offers sex tips for college students

by ALYSSA GOARD Staff Reporter

KLAG Students packed Maxey Auditorium on Wednesday, Oct. 20 to hear Jay Friedman’s talk on sex. Friedman suggested students know their partner, practice birth control and STD prevention and ensure mutual pleasure.

Jay Friedman has been called both “the Michael Moore of sex education” and “one of the most dangerous people in society.”

And, during his lecture at Whitman on Wednesday, Oct. 20, he delivered a dynamic and outrageously popular presentation that left students abuzz with laughter and curiosity. The Whitman Events Board and Panhellenic sponsored Friedman’s talk.

Friedman had an immediate chemistry with the Whitman audience; as a Seattle resident he admitted that he appreciated the college’s liberal mindset and ability to recognize names of the Seattle restaurants he frequents.

Friedman broke the ice with vivid humorous and sexual imagery as well as snapshots of his childhood sexual education which consisted of awkward gym class movies and National Geographic

magazines. He made the importance of a sexual education very clear to the audience, sharing that “the greatest crisis” of his life happened when his high school girlfriend told him those two unforgettable words: “I’m pregnant.”

Situations like Friedman’s are not isolated occurrences--America has the highest teen pregnancy rate of any developed country. That is why he is on a crusade to educate students across the nation. “Sex is good,” he said bluntly; “it’s what we learn about sex that is not so good.”

Friedman went on to list what he believes are the three important criteria to meet before engaging in sex: 1) Know the person’s name and feel comfortable enough with that person that you could do it with the lights on. As he put it, “If you can’t gaze longingly into someone else’s eyes, you’re not ready to have sex with that person.”

2) Accept responsibility for your acJ-SPOT, page 3

Whitman applies for grant to promote ASWC Town Hall highlights adjunct faculty to tenure track positions enrollment pressures

by KARAH KEMMERLY Staff Reporter

The Office of Development and College Relations and Office of the Provost and Dean of the Faculty have been working together for slightly over a year to write a grant proposal for funds to offer eight new tenure-track positions to adjunct faculty members. If the Mellon Foundation, an organization based in New York, funds Whitman’s proposal, adding tenure-track positions could preserve Whitman’s course offerings.

Whitman’s faculty, like the faculties at most other institutions of higher education, consists of both tenureline (including tenured and tenuretrack professors) and adjunct professors. Without a tenure-track position, adjunct faculty members can hold full-time teaching positions for up to five years. At the end of this five-year period, they either have to be offered a tenure-track position or move to a part-time position.

Timothy Kaufman-Osborn, the provost and dean of faculty, believes that this time limit can make it difficult for adjunct faculty to completely invest in the college.

“Whether hired on a full or a parttime basis, non tenure-track faculty contribute in many vital ways to Whitman’s academic program. However, be-

cause their appointments are typically limited to a year or two, they are often not in a position to establish enduring relationships to students and the campus,” he said.

He feels that tenure-track professors have greater opportunity to become invested.

“Because they have a long-term stake in the welfare of the college, they are in a better position to serve as mentors to students as they progress toward graduation and to develop ongoing research collaborations that are often critical to students in the graduate school admissions process,” he said.

Johnathan Walters, professor of religion and chair of Division II, acknowledges that despite the time limit, many adjunct faculty members are able to act in the long-term interest of the college.

“We’re talking about well-trained and diverse individuals. Some of them do continue to write reference letters or read senior theses even after they leave. Some do participate in things like faculty governance and pre-major advising. Some do produce scholarship or other professional activity at the level Whitman expects of its tenure-track faculty. And all work hard to be excellent classroom instructors,” he said.

Walters feels that applying for the grant reflects positively on the abilities

Welty adds student EMTs to its staff

by JOE VOLPERT Staff Reporter

The Welty Health Center created a new position that allows EMT-Basic or Red Cross First Aid certified students to work in the health center.

The position, part of the Incidence Response Squad, was just created this year.

In previous years, the health center employed students to help with clerical work, yet this year they augmented the scope and qualifications of the job. The old position did not entail any basic medical work or helping security like the new position does.

“We have a position here where we have students helping us in the clinic and we have broadened that job description to a position so that students that are already EMTs--they have already completed their EMT basic or they have completed a Red Cross First Aid Certification Program-

THIS WEEK in

COLUMNS

-work in our clinic mostly in the afternoons and evenings,” said Claudia Ness, the director of the health center.

These students work in the health center from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday through Wednesday, 6 p.m. to midnight on Thursday and 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. on Friday and Saturday.

The Incidence Response Squad members help by assisting the front desk, making meal deliveries, taking students’ vital signs when necessary, pulling records and occasionally monitoring patients in the evening. The students do not have access to any medical records.

They also help security in transporting injured or inebriated students. If security needs assistance from the Incidence Response Squad, they will contact the health center and request a response team member.

“We call it the ‘Incident Response Squad,’ EMTs, page 2

of Whitman’s adjunct faculty.

“Trying to upgrade contingent faculty lines is in no way to disparage the incredible talent and multiple contributions made to Whitman by its contingent faculty. Quite the opposite: it’s because we see so many superb contingent faculty, that we want to be able to offer a few more of them a tenure-track job,” he said.

Mare Blocker, a visiting assistant professor of art specializing in book arts and printmaking, is one such committed individual. She is in her fifth year as an adjunct professor at Whitman, and has received the Suzanne L. Martin Award for Excellence in Mentoring for the contribution she has made to her students, advisees and members of the Fine Arts Interest House.

“I have enjoyed my time here and I’ve been an active member of the Whitman community,” she said.

She says that in her time on campus, there has been an increase in the number of senior art majors making prints, books and textiles, and thus an increase of diversity within the senior art thesis exhibits.

Blocker believes a grant enabling the college to hire more tenure-track professors is hugely beneficial.

“Obviously, the priorities of a program change with a shift of professors.

GR ANT, page 3

LAZAR President George Bridges spoke at the ASWC Town Hall on Monday, Oct. 18. The semi-annual Town Hall focused on class sizes, course compression and the recent switch from a 3-3 to a 3-2 teaching load.

by KARAH KEMMERLY Staff Reporter

ASWC representatives and Whitman students gathered in the basement of Reid for the fall 2010 Town Hall. Andrea Dobson, professor of astronomy and chair of the faculty, Timothy Kaufman-Osborn, provost and dean of the faculty and President George Bridges came to discuss the problem of enrollment pressure and to answer student questions regarding the issue.

Senior John Loranger, ASWC vice president and student affairs chair, discussed three main causes of enrollment pressure at the start of the meeting.

The first cause is the size of the student body. The class of 2014 is the largest incoming class in Whitman history with roughly 440 students. The entire student body is also larger than it has ever been: about 1535 students.

The second cause is the switch from a 3-3 to a 3-2 course load. Because professors only teach five courses a year, there has been a decrease in the number of course sections offered. Originally 17 percent of sections were going to be cut, but the administration worked to decrease that percentage. This year, the number of sections taught has decreased by 10 perTOWN HALL , page 2

‘Government Inspector’ hits Harper Joy

by NATE LESSLER Staff Reporter

A half-painted, cartoon-like set of a town in Czarist Russia filled the Alexander Stage in Harper Joy Theatre. To the far side of the stage was a costume rack full of fat suits. A startled stagehand, alongside senior and set designer Devin Petersen, clean up broken glass from a lamp’s loosely-fitted light bulb. Meanwhile, one cast member danced down the aisle in a fat suit, prompting a crew member to joke about making a viral video of the dancing to advertise the show.

The show in question is “The Government Inspector,” Harper Joy Theatre’s first production of the fall, which runs from October 21-24. The eccentric costumes, high-energy atmosphere and focused but humorous attitudes of the cast and crew match the farcical nature of the play.

Originally written in 1836 by Russian playwright Nikolai Gogol, “The Government Inspector” tells the story of a small and corrupt town that mistakes a poor

man as a government inspector. The result is pure farce as the entire town works together to bribe and flatter the confused man.

Since it was first written almost two centuries ago, the play has since been translated and adapted numerous times.

Director Nancy Simon chose to use a 2008 adaptation by the American theater and television writer Jeffrey Hatcher.

Simon, who was familiar with Hatcher’s work, decided to use this adaptation both for fun and in order to train students in farce.

“One of the things [the theater department] has been thinking is that we needed to do a farce because it is a particular type of training for our students,” said Simon. “I thought [Hatcher’s adaptation] was absolutely hilarious and [would be] a good show for us to open the season with.”

With its high energy, large cast, and farcical plot, the show promises to be a crowd-pleaser.

“It has a lot of roles in it and it’s a good

KLAG

show for family weekend . . . it’s like a Marx Brothers movie or a Bugs Bunny cartoon,” she said.

While the show is a farce at heart, it FALL PL AY, page 8

{ }{ }{ }{ } ASWC must ensure student dollars benefit larger campus community.

Impress your parents: Treat your clothes with laundering tips.

China should uncensor information on Nobel Peace Prize winner.

President Bridges needs to take a political stance.

BOARD EDITORIAL

THRIFTY WHIT TIES

OPINION

OPINION

page 11

by Olivia Jones page 8

by Ding Li page 10

by Zach Duffy page 10

NEWS

2

October 21, 2010O

EMT: Position helps advance career goals  page 1 meaning they can respond to different incidences, but either on campus or in the health center. They are to assist health center staff with patient flow, assist with the students, provide first aid and also assist the security with their on-scene assessment,” Ness said.

The health center decided to create the position to allow medically-trained students to assist both the health center and security.

“The process of why we decided to go with more of an EMT First Aid model was so that they would be able to assist us in the evening and weekend hours monitoring patients, helping security transport patients from the health center, possibly to a clinic or health center if that is necessary,” Ness said. “They would be available to help security if there were injuries or incidences on campus that required someone that has some medical first aid background that could back up security.”

While Ness does consider the program to be a complete success thus far, she notes that the workload varies, especially given Whitman’s small size.

“The thing to remember is we are not a big city or a big university. Luckily for us, it is not every day that there is lots of

FENNELL Chelsea Momany ‘11 has her blood pressure checked by Leah Siegel ‘14, who is being mentored by nurse Dawn Chlipala.

excitement or lots of fun things for them to do. But I am really pleased with it at this point in time,” Ness said.

She is also excited about expanding the program in the future.

“We are very excited about the program. I would like to see the program grow,” Ness said. “It is a new program, so it is still in a transition phase.”

First-year Stephen Uramoto is one of the Incidence Response Squad members who works the Saturday evening shift.

He is First Aid certified by the American Heart Association and Wilderness First Aid certified by the Wilderness Medical Associates. He often helps take students’ vital signs.

“Several times I have had inebriated patients come in and I help them to bed and then help take their initial vital signs.

Then every 15 minutes after that, I’ll go and take their vitals again until they have stabilized.” Uramoto said. “I greatly enjoy working at the health center because it is a

rewarding job and the nurses are very nice and helpful.”

Junior Fritz Siegert is another Incidence Response Squad member who works the Friday evening shift. He is EMT-Basic certified and CPR certified as well.

“I spend a good chunk of my time monitoring students’ vitals and making sure that they can sleep and rest in a safe and comfortable manner. Occasionally we will get a call from security or concerned students regarding an inebriated student, at which point I will drive out to where the student is, assess his/her condition and then determine whether or not it would be advisable for me to transport the student back to the health center for observation,” Siegert said.

Siegert sees this position as a good way to take advantage of his medical training.

“I love working at the health center. It’s been a great way to utilize my training as an EMT, and I truly feel like I have been able to be a helpful part of the health center team,” Siegert said.

This position complements Siegert’s career goals as well.

“I do plan to eventually attend medical school and become a physician,” Siegert said. “I’m really thankful to the health center for giving me this opportunity, and I’ve been loving every minute of it so far!”

Many students not affected by Family Weekend

by HADLEY JOLLEY Staff Reporter

Senior Maherin Ahmed’s parents are not coming to family weekend. Nor did they come to any of the previous three that Ahmed has experienced in her career at Whitman College.

“My parents live in Bangladesh, so its like another continent,” said Ahmed.

International students like Ahmed are not the only Whitman students whose families are not coming to this year’s family weekend, which occurs Friday Oct. 22 through Sunday Oct. 24. For Ahmed and sophomore Christopher Bryson, whose

parents did not come last year, family weekend tends to be similar to every other.

“I just call it a normal weekend. I’ll occasionally come across some friends who will introduce me to their parents, or I’ll hang out with others who can’t have their parents come over,” said Bryson.

Bryson said that he did not participate in any of the special events, like planetarium shows.

“I didn’t even know they were scheduled,” he said.

Ahmed, however, does. Last year as an RA she took tickets for the Varsity Nordic performance. She signed up for those duties in part because she did not have family

coming.

“I remember my RD promising brownies and apple pies,” she said.

She says she usually watches a movie with other international students during the weekend.

Naturally, not all students who are visiting with their families go to the scheduled events, either.

“I didn’t do any of the school activities.

I just used it more as an activity to see my mom,” said sophomore Charlotte Hill.

Last year, Hill’s mother came during family weekend; this year, her parents are not coming to family weekend. However, they did come visit her for her birthday in

early October.

“I feel like parent’s weekend can be any weekend, really,” said Hill.

Bryson also has family visiting offschedule, though in his case very rarely.

His parents are coming in Thursday to see him perform in “The Government Inspector”, and leaving on Friday, before the official start of family weekend.

However, this is not the case for Ahmed, as the main obstacle keeping her parents from visiting is distance and cost.

“I wish I could show them the campus, so they could see what Whitman has to offer,” she said. “I hope they’ll be here for graduation.”

TOWN HALL: ASWC seeks to expand course offerings  page 1 cent.

The third cause is the issue of course compression. Too many courses are being offered within a few popular time slots--10 a.m., 11 a.m. and 1 p.m.--which makes it harder for students to find courses that don’t conflict with each other.

Because of enrollment pressure, class sizes have increased. In fall 2007, the average class size was 16.9; now it is 19.

After conducting a survey last spring, Loranger and ASWC feel that this issue is one of the most disconcerting for students at Whitman.

“We’re concerned that enrollment pressure could potentially threaten the academic experience at Whitman,” he said.

Bridges, Dobson and Kaufman-Osborn acknowledge that enrollment pressure is a serious issue. They shared with the students their plan to combat the issue.

Dobson said that the departments

within the faculty are working on creating a web program that will allow them to view each other’s proposed schedules for the next year. This will help them to better coordinate the timing of courses and therefore to lessen the problem of course compression.

Kaufman-Osborn also said that the administration is working to make more tenure-track positions available.

However, the panel also pointed out to students that some of the causes of enrollment pressure are also beneficial to the college. Kaufman-Osborn focused especially on the long-term benefits of switching to a 3-2 course load.

Firstly, he believes the switch will be beneficial in recruiting and retaining new faculty members, a necessity for the college. Other liberal arts colleges have moved to a five-a-year course load, and in order to compete, Whitman had to follow suit.

“My ability to higher the best new

Ph.Ds in the country affects you directly in the classroom,” he said.

Kaufman-Osborn and Dobson both feel that the switch to a 3-2 system will enable the faculty to spend more time with students individually.

“You are all seeing the transition phase now. In the long term, there will be benefits,” said Dobson.

However, Kaufman-Osborn and Dobson also expressed regret at not soliciting more student input in the decision-making process to switch to a 3-2 course load.

Loranger presented to students four ASWC-suggested methods to increase course offerings and decrease class sizes. They suggest an expansion of the O’Donnell Lecture Series, a series of short, one-unit lecture-based courses, in order to give students more course options. They also plan to research 14 of Whitman’s peer institutions to find other responses to the problem of enrollment pressure. And lastly, ASWC supports the push to hire more

tenure-track faculty members.

During the question and answer session of the meeting, one student also proposed holding some course sections at noon.

Several students also brought up the importance of communication between the administration and the student body.

Junior Sam Lundberg said the he would love an update from the administration on a regular basis.

“I have faith in the administration, but there is some kind of divide between them and the students,” he said.

Loranger echoed this when he said that it is crucial that students attend Town Hall meetings because it is rare that students have the opportunity to talk to all of these administers at once.

“When students come to Town Hall, they show the administrators that they are passionate about these issues. Then administrators see that these are things worth paying attention to.”

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Identity Project promotes diversity

by ALYSSA GOARD Staff Reporter

On Saturday, Oct. 9, as Walla Walla residents trickled into the public library dodging the autumn chill, they were met by a welcoming crew from the Walla Walla Diversity Coalition.

The coalition members were completing the final phase of requesting members of the public to have their photos taken for an identity-based exhibit in the Walla Walla Public Library entitled “Who Am I?” . Participants were asked to write a short statement about themselves and how they perceive their own identity; Annie Capestany, treasurer of the Diversity Coalition, advised the people involved in the exhibit to write “what you would like people to think of when they think of you.”

The wall of photos and statements has been collected for the past few weeks at the farmer’s market and various diversity coalition events. October is the diversity coalition’s sixteenth annual Freedom From Discrimination Month, and the coalition has proclaimed this year’s theme as “Who Are We? - The Question of Race.” The “Who Am I?”Identity Project exhibit allows any citizen over the age of 18 to publicly declare an identity which transcends race, gender, socioeconomic status or stereotypes.

Participants ranged from college-age individuals--including several smiling Whitman students--to blue collar workers to moms taking a break from shuttling their children between the bookshelves. Some participants detailed a paragraph of their daily obligations while others put in an inspiring word or two. Some wrote in foreign languages and others doodled.

This identity project was part of Capestrany’s thirteenth year working on the Freedom from Discrimination Month, and she felt that this year’s events provide a unique forum for people to “see and express their own identity, their own humanity.”

Capestrany hopes that this project will encourage a community based on personal individuality rather than on race or physical appearance.

“My family is Cuban,” she said, “and it always drove me crazy when people told me, ‘You don’t look Cuban!’ Why are people trying to tell me what I am supposed to look like? There are too many divisions between people; we need to focus on what brings us together and makes us human.”

Heather Rodriguez, another member of the diversity coalition and a representative from Children’s Homes Society of Washington, helped to create the wall of photos and identify statements with her young daughter.

“Because whites are less and less the majority, people need to learn to live with each other and step outside of this ‘myth of race’ even if it makes them uncomfortable,” she said.

Both Rodriguez and Capestrany agreed that the issue of race and its role in modern society need to be addressed, both on a national scale and within the Walla Walla community.

“Especially in light of the recent hate crimes in the park downtown, it is important to show the community that we think we’re more different than we really are,” Rodriguez said, referring to a swastika and other anti-Semitic graffiti at Heritage Park last month. “Seeing these pictures on the wall of the library will help set a tone for celebrating uniqueness. Walla Walla is a great place to start a project like this because we are small enough that seeing these photos will have significance to the community, but we are also big enough to deal with the diversity problems of a city.”

Rodriguez’s daughter, who had been listening in on her conversation, wanted to know the purpose of putting the identity pictures on the library wall.

“Some of us have brown hair,” answered Rodriguez, pointing to her own hair, “and some of us have blonde,” then pointing to her daughter’s hair.

“And both are normal,” chimed in her daughter.

In addition to the Identity Project, the diversity coalition is holding a final event for Freedom From Discrimination Month on Wednesday Oct. 27 at 7 p.m. “The Human Family Tree—A Migratory History of the Human Race,” a 96-minute National Geographic film, will be showing at the Fine Arts Auditorium of Walla Walla University followed by a community discussion.

The Identity Project will be on display in the Walla Walla Public Library until Oct. 31; the coalition now has over 50 identity statements for the public to see.

NEWS

0October 21, 2010

3

Students emphasize reality of human trafficking for Slavery Awareness Week

by SHELLY LE Staff Reporter

When the word “slavery” comes to mind, most people immediately picture 19thcentury forced labor.

The International Justice Mission (IJM) defines slavery as “forced labor, with the use of deception or violent coercion to compel someone to labor without pay or for no pay beyond the substance necessary to continue the labor.”

However, most people don’t consider slavery to be a current issue. Despite the 27 million slaves in the world today according to IJM, the issue remains shrouded in mystery. Because of this, three student organizations on campus— Whitman Abolitionists, Whitman Events Board and Whitman Christian Fellowship—have teamed up to educate students about modern-day slavery through Slavery Awareness Week. Slavery Awareness Week started on Wednesday, Oct. 13 and ends Thursday, Oct. 21.

This campaign was developed by juniors Abbey McGrath and Lyndsey Wilson, co-founders of Whitman Abolitionists. According to McGrath in an e-mail conversation with The Chronicle of Walla Walla University, Whitman Abolitionists’ main motivation for putting together Slavery Awareness Week was to raise awareness about slavery in modern-day society.

“Too many people on campus just don’t realize this modern-day slavery exists,” she said. “We are organizing Slavery Awareness Week to educate the campus and Walla Walla community about the overlooked reality of human trafficking.”

Because slavery is not often viewed as modern human trafficking, McGrath hopes that the week will change students’ view of slavery.

“If slavery is putting a price on a human life and selling them for work against their will, then human trafficking is most definitely slavery,” she said.

First-year Paul Lemieux believes that McGrath’s aim to educate and inform students has helped to remind him that modern-day forced labor is still an issue.

“When you hear the word slavery, you don’t think of modern slavery. The idea of modern slavery isn’t one that comes to your conscious very often, so it was good to have something that brought home the fact that slavery is still around,” he said.

Interactive art boards, sponsored by WCF, were displayed on Oct. 13 through Oct. 15 and questioned students on their feelings regarding slavery. Surveys were conducted to test students’ knowledge on the issue, and flyers were handed out with further information on the extent of human trafficking.

Sophomore Ashley Ehlers, a Bible study leader for WCF and a volunteer coordinator for the display, noticed the differences in students’ reactions to the issue.

“A lot of people were really surprised by what they heard because it’s kind of a hidden issue,” she said. “We had websites where people could go and see what products they shouldn’t buy, because some products buy into slavery and you don’t even know it,” she said.

First-year Will Gregg, however, felt that the interactive art boards did not help him learn more about human slavery.

“I would have preferred another means to bring awareness to the issue. A blatantly obvious board in the middle of a field gives me no emotional or intellectual connection to the issue,” he said.

McGrath hopes t h at n o w that

awareness has been raised on campus, next year’s Slavery Awareness Week can focus more on how forced labor can be stopped.

“Hopefully next year it will take the angle of ‘what can we do’ activism,” she said.

Whitman Abolitionists plan to begin advocacy projects to help promote activism on campus much earlier next year.

“We will definitely not be waiting until next year to start with advocacy projects.

Next on our list of big events is a chocolate campaign to get people to stop consuming products and supporting companies which use slave-driven cocoa products,” McGrath said.

Other events for Slavery Awareness Week included the film screening of “Cargo: Innocence Lost”, a documentary on human trafficking in the United States that included statements from former human slaves, and Orange is the Color of Freedom Day, where students were encouraged to wear the color orange all day in support of the anti-slavery movement, which was inspired by the anti-human trafficking organization Not For Sale.

A lecture on human trafficking featuring Azra Grudic, the anti-human trafficking coordinator at Lutheran Community Services Northwest in Spokane, will be held tonight in Olin 130 from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m.

ZINSER

AXTELL Celine Valentine ‘14 prepares to turn right at an intersection. Whitman students are notorious for biking on sidewalks, leading to conflict with pedestrians.

Student cyclists clash with pedestrians on sidewalks

by MOLLY JOHANSON Staff Reporter

“I’ve been the pedestrian who had bikes zoom past without warning,” said sophomore Tom Vogt, the cycling team treasurer. “But I’ve also been the biker who’s late for class and stuck behind the gaggle of people not being aware.”

Such situations involving conflict between bikes and pedestrians are common.

Both Whitman staff and cyclists themselves recognize the situation warrants concern. “[This is] a significant issue on campus and definitely warrants some kind of attention before a bicyclist and/or pedestrian becomes seriously hurt,” IT Support Services Consultant Robert Fricke expressed in an e-mail. One of his main concerns is the “lack of courtesy when riding on the sidewalks [not giving verbal warning of their approach from behind a walker.]”

According to the Washington State Department of Transportation, the law for bikes states that “when riding on a roadway, a cyclist has all the rights and responsibilities of a vehicle driver,” with the exception that cyclists can ride on the far right of the road when slower than car traffic. In Walla Walla, cyclists are also allowed to ride on sidewalks except in downtown, which the city has an ordinance against.

The rule for biking on the sidewalk states: “A bicycle must yield to a pedestrian on a sidewalk or crosswalk.”

Though it can be embarrassing, Vogt recommends that cyclists yell “on your left/right” to pedestrians they approach from behind. Vogt mentioned that he sometimes likes to whistle while biking, which pedestrians can hear from far away.

First-year Phoebe Horvath employs her jangly bike lock as a warning to walkers.

“I think people don’t realize that, just because they’re not on streets, they shouldn’t give pedestrians the right of way,” says senior Roxy Pierson, president of the Whitman Cycling Team.

Another issue is the speed at which cyclists zoom through campus. According to Craig McKinnon, the associate director of

J-SPOT: Friedman encourages students to be self-advocates KLAG Provost and Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn is involved in applying for a grant from the Mellon Foundation which, if awarded, could fund promotions to tenure-track positions for eight adjunct faculty members.

GRANT: Dean seeks new faculty funding  page 1 If received, these grants would allow for a program to continue with its successes,” she said.

Walters said that costs are really the only obstacle standing in the way of hiring many more tenure-track faculty members.

“Tenure-track lines are very expensive. I’m sure we’d all like even more of the faculty than this grant will allow to become tenure-track, but the col-

lege simply cannot afford it. No college can. That’s why Mellon is offering these grants,” he said.

In June 2011, the Mellon Foundation will notify the college about whether or not its grant proposal has been approved. If so, four adjunct professors will be granted tenure-track positions for the 2011-2012 academic year, and then four more for the 2012-2013 academic year.

Walters believes that the Mellon grant will allow the college to strength-

the Pioneer

en its overall curriculum.

“The entire faculty, especially those in the relevant departments, would benefit from increasing our number, not just because there are more people to share governance and advising duties, but more importantly because more faculty means greater curricular diversity, and a larger percentage of faculty with tenure-track lines means, presumably, an increasingly committed and happy faculty,” he said.

 page 1 tions, affirm consent (think Green Dot) and determine the appropriate birth control and disease control.

3) Make sure that whatever you choose to do will assure mutual pleasure.

Freidman’s talk covered many topics that are a little unsettling, even for college students. But as rewards he artfully placed romantic and sexual advice intermittently throughout the talk. In between the juicy secrets he shared, the lecture covered everything from sexism to alcohol to homophobia. The lecture had a degree of political commentary as well; Friedman had a very clear opinion regarding sex education policy in the U.S. When asked what sex has to do with

whitman news, delivered.

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Editor-in-Chief Molly Smith

Production Manager Ben Lerchin

NEWS

Publisher Derek Thurber

A&E Editor CJ Wisler Opinion Editors Heather Nichols-Haining Gary Wang Sports Editor Nick Wood Humor Editors Simi Singh Finn Straley Photography Editor Jack Lazar Illustration Editor Sam Alden Senior Copy Editor Jenna Mukuno

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A&E Ellie Gold, Nate Lessler, Nanyonjo Mukungo, Sean McNulty, McCaulay Singer-Milnes

OPINION Dingli, Rachel Alexander, Allison Bolgiano, Zach Duffy, Blair Frank, Lauren McCullough

PHOTOGR APHY

SPORTS

Marin Axtell, Julia Bowman, Brandon Fennell, Isabel Hong, David Jacobson, Kendra Klag, Ethan Parrish, Zach Rosenberg

Bailey Arango, Libby Arnosti, Tyler Hurlburt, Pamela London

ILLUSTR ATION Jea Alford, Sarah Canepa, Emily Johnson, Olivia Johnson, Binta Loos-Diallo, Rex Rolle, Carrie Sloane, Erika Zinser

politics, Friedman could barely hold back his reply: “Everything,” he exasperated.

From the childhood development of inner city children to the contraceptive distribution policies in America, the lecture was laced with examples of the relevance of sex in politics. He said that it was each student’s personal duty to advocate for their sexual education rights, to prevent a small but vocal minority of dissenters from inhibiting the discussion of sex.

Friedman ended the lecture on an insightful note.

“Remember, your most important love making tool is right in between your ears.”

Students can receive more information on the lecture by liking the “J-Spot” group on Facebook or visiting http://www.jaytalk.com

EDITORIAL POLICY

EDITORIAL

News Editor Josh Goodman

security, the speed limit for bikes and cars on campus is 10 miles per hour. However, McKinnon has seen bikers go 20mph on campus, which, depending on the situation, could be dangerous.

For McKinnon, the big issue with bikes is not so much how they move, but where they’re parked. Bikes are not allowed to be locked to handrails, but it often happens on campus, because of a lack of bike racks.

Having handle bars, or sometimes the entire bike, in the way of the path creates injurious situations.

Campus security used to stick notices on bikes in violation of this, but this practice stopped over five years ago. Now, notices are posted only in very extreme cases, such as when an entire bike blocks a pathway.

Often, bikes parked this way are only meant to stay there a little while. Sometimes, they aren’t even locked.

According to McKinnon, 75 percent of bikes that are stolen on campus aren’t even locked. The rest of them are secured only with cable locks.

“I think it’s a crime to sell these ten dollar cable locks to protect expensive bikes, when they can be cut through in 10 seconds,” McKinnon said.

One way to protect against bike theft is to license your bike with the city of Walla Walla. It is required by law, but there is no penalty for not being licensed. If a bike is licensed, however, it is put in a national database and its owner can be easily found through its tracking number. Licensing costs five dollars and can be done at the Walla Walla Police Department, located at 15 N. 3rd Street inside City Hall.

When riding at night, both Pierson and Vogt recommend using lights to stay visible to pedestrians and cars. These can be purchased at Allegro Cyclery at 200 E Main St; Bicycle Barn at 1503 E Isaacs Ave; or in the OP bike shop in the back of North Hall.

Being aware, alert and visible is essential for bike transportation and etiquette.

“One bad encounter can stick with people,” said Vogt. “And can give bikers a bad reputation.”

HUMOR Toby Alden, Emily Basham, Maggie Eismeier, Ailie Kerr, Johanna Otico

Circulation Associates Aviv Bridge, Alexandra Murray, Kira Peterson Webmaster Rebecca Fish

ADVERTISING Advertising Manager Anna Taylor Advertising Associates Dana Fong, Phuong Pham, Brian Vieth Advertising Designer Olivia Clingman-White

The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, the Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

SUBMISSION POLICY

Letters to Editor may be submitted to The Pioneer via e-mail at editors@whitmanpioneer.com or sent to The Pioneer, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA, 99362. All submissions must be received by 4 p.m. on Saturday prior to the week that they are intended to appear. All submissions must be attributed and may be edited for concision and fluency.

CODE OF ETHICS

The code of ethics serves as The Pioneer’s established guidelines for the practice of responsible journalism on campus, within reasonable interpretation of the editorial board. These guidelines are subject to constant review and amendment; responsibility for amending the code of ethics is assigned to the Editor-in-Chief and Publisher in conjunction with the editorial board. The code of ethics is reviewed at least once per semester.

To access the complete code of ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about.

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Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 OCT 21, 2010 Page 6

SCOREBOARD Volleyball Puget Sound 10/15 L, 3-2 Pacific Lutheran 10/16 W, 3-1 Whitworth 10/20 L, 3-1 Women’s cross country Pioneer Open 10/16 (Lewis & Clark) 1 Lewis & Clark 28 2 Whitman 61 3 Lewis & Clark alums 72 4 Puget Sound 78 5 George Fox 132 Men’s cross country Pioneer Open 10/16 (Lewis & Clark) 1 Lewis & Clark 49 2 Carleton 55 3 Whitman 93 4 Lewis & Clark alums 124 5 George Fox 132 6 Puget Sound 133 7 Puget Sound alums 137 Women’s soccer Puget Sound 10/16 L, 1-0 Pacific Lutheran 10/17 L, 1-0 Men’s soccer Puget Sound 10/16 T, 1-1 (2 OT) Pacific Lutheran 10/17 W, 1-0

LAZAR Goalkeeper Devin Kuh ‘13 prepares himself for pass-and-go shots on goal during a men’s soccer practice. The team won their last match Sunday, Oct. 17 against Pacific Lutheran University when Sam Freedman ‘12 scored the only goal of the game with 17 seconds left on the clock.

Whitman men control their soccer destiny

by TYLER HURLBURT Staff Reporter

The Whitman men’s soccer team has had a season of ups and downs to this point. The team currently stands fifth out of eight in the Northwest Conference with a 4-3-2 record giving them 14 points (three points per win, one for a tie).

The men have shown that they can play very well together; they just need to keep their play more consistent. “Not every game has gone how we wanted it to, but we have shown some good stuff,” said senior captain Cooper Crosby.

One of the biggest ups for the team was the victory over Whitworth on Saturday October 9 which served as a great boost for the team. After losing seven of the last eight match-ups against Whitworth by only one goal,

the Missionaries travelled to Spokane and came home with a 1-0 victory.

The win was particularly important coming after a tough weekend in Oregon which resulted in a tie with Willamette and a 2-1 loss to Linfield.

“It’s a big win. We needed three points from the Whitworth game to get back on track,” Crosby said. “People are still fired up from that.”

A revitalized team ventured to Tacoma to take on two of the conference’s best teams, University of Puget Sound and Pacific Lutheran University, on October 16 and 17 respectively. The Missionaries drew with the Loggers 1-1 and beat the Lutes 1-0.

Both of these matches were extremely tight. The Missionaries led the Loggers 1-0 with five minutes left, before the Loggers tied it up. Neither team was able to score in extra time.

The Pacific Lutheran match was scoreless through 89 minutes until junior Sam Freedman put the ball in the back of the net with 12 seconds left.

This series of success for the team demonstrates that they are capable of performing at a high level with the best teams in the conference. The team is hoping to continue playing well enough to earn a spot into the post season. Overall, the standings in the Northwest Conference are very close; only five points separate second from sixth.

“The goal is to win out and reach the post season,” Crosby said. “It’s still in our hands.”

The team completely controls its own destiny with regards to moving on to the post season. If they play well and win, they will make it; if they lose, they will not.

One key for the team to move forward is playing their best soccer at a more consistent level. Head coach Mike Washington believes that this is particularly true for the back half of the field. “We need some consistency in defending,” Washington said.

Crosby agrees with this sentiment regarding the team’s defensive skills.

“We are working on defensive organization,” Crosby said.

With regards to his team’s post season hopes, Washington feels that it is possible to move on. “We control our own destiny,” Washington said.

“Whether we can be consistent enough is the big question.”

Whitman now ends its regular season with five straight home matches starting with Pacific University and George Fox on Saturday October 23 and Sunday October 24.

Men’s golf Whitman Invitational 10/16-10/17 1 Whitworth +15 2 Linfield +16 3 Pacific Lutheran +25 4 Pacific +32 5 Whitman +42 6 Puget Sound +54 7 George Fox +70 8 Willamette +96

UPCOMING EVENTS Volleyball 10/22 George Fox (Away) Women’s soccer 10/23 Pacific (Home, 12p.m.)

10/24 George Fox (Home, 12p.m.)

Men’s soccer 10/23 Pacific (Home, 2:30p.m.)

10/24 George Fox (Home, 2:30p.m.)

Men’s golf 10/23-10/24 NWC Fall Classic (Redmond, Ore.) Women’s golf 10/23-10/24 NWC Fall Classic (Bend, Ore.) Swimming 10/23 Alumni Meet (Home, 10 a.m.)

Tennis duos compete in national championship

by PAMELA LONDON Staff Reporter

From the outdoor courts and Bratton Tennis Center at Whitman College to the world’s largest indoor tennis facility--the change was drastic, to say the least.

For weeks, Whitman tennis players Conor Holton-Burke, Andrew La Cava, Elise Otto and Alyssa Roberg trained every day on the practice courts next to Ankeny Field in preparation for their fall season. Last week, all those hours of work paid off when they traveled to Mobile, Ala. for the USTA/ITA National Small College Championships.

The Copeland Cox Mobile Tennis Center in Alabama is home to 60 tennis courts all enclosed in a single structure, making it the largest public tennis facility in the world. Participating in the tournament were teams from Division III universities from all across the nation.

“It was crazy,” said La Cava, a first-year

playing in his first national collegiate tournament with his doubles partner junior Holton-Burke and accompanied by their coach Jeff Northam.

“We got a glimpse of the best players in the country,” added Holton-Burke.

In order to get the chance to compete in Alabama, the players had to qualify for the National Small College Championships by winning their respective regional tournaments: Otto and Roberg won the women’s ITA regional tournament held at Whitman at the end of September, and Holton-Burke and La Cava qualified by winning the men’s ITA regional tournament in Salem, Ore. These tournaments featured all of the Northwest Conference teams that Whitman faces during their regular spring season. La Cava also won the singles bracket in Salem, qualifying him for the singles portion of the National Small College Championships. “[The] level of tennis is pretty awesome,” said Otto. “Personally I love be-

ing challenged in tennis. For me to get a look at really good teams like last year’s national champions [Chrissy Hu and Kendra Higgins of the University of Chicago]--this is what I play tennis for.”

Once the teams had qualified for Nationals, their focus turned to winning matches against some of the top teams in the nation. Otto and Roberg, after an intense 6-3, 4-6, 10-8 victory to get into the tournament’s main draw, found themselves looking at several guaranteed matches over the following two days.

“I felt like Alyssa and I deserved to be [in that main draw],” said Otto. “Once we won the playoff, my goals were more process-oriented. I want[ed] us to be able to focus and play with any team in the nation, and we spent a lot of time talking about what that would look like and what we need[ed] to work on.”

Holton-Burke and La Cava took a slightly different approach to their expectations and goals for the tournament.

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La Cava was hit with the flu leading up to Nationals, leaving the doubles team unable to practice for over a week.

“Right now, it’s really difficult to put the whole tournament in perspective,” said Holton-Burke. “My expectations were running pretty low going into the tournament because my partner had been really sick . . . and we hadn’t really had the opportunity to prepare together.

I was really afraid we were going to get crushed.”

Despite the setbacks leading into the tournament, Holton-Burke and La Cava found themselves with match points in two sets against No. 1 seed Bobby Cocanougher and Cory Kowal of Trinity University (Texas) before losing 6-7 (72), 7-6 (10-8), 10-6.

“While it was a heartbreaking loss, I’m definitely proud of the way we played,” said Holton-Burke.

“Conor and I played very well together and I was happy with how we competed,”

added La Cava. “We came extremely close to taking down the number one team in the country.

For all four players, the overall experience was something they won’t soon forget.

“I think this tournament was a great experience for Alyssa and me,” said Otto.

“We got to try strategies we have been working on against national-level teams that all played with distinctive styles.”

Even though the fall portion of their play ends with this tournament, these experiences will carry through to their main season beginning at the end of January.

“Playing in the tournament was meaningful because it was an opportunity to see how we measure up against the best teams in the nation,” said Holton-Burke.

“It [was] awesome to have the opportunity to compete at such a high level,” said La Cava. “This opportunity is part of the reason why I came to Whitman.”

Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 OCT 21, 2010 Page 7

Club Frisbee sets sights on division title

BOWMAN Nick Cross ‘13 defends a teammate in a club frisbee practice on Ankeny Field. The team has upped its fall training intensity in an effort to win Division 3 nationals this year after last season’s second-place finish.

by BAILEY ARANGO Staff Reporter

Autumn is in the air, and the Sweets, Whitman’s Ultimate Frisbee team, are off and running--a fact known by almost anyone who crosses Ankeny Field these days.

“Every week we have three lifting

sessions, three throwing practices, two coed practices and three hour practices on Saturdays before team brunch,” said first-year player Ben Harris.

Why all the preparation in the fall for a sport whose biggest tournaments are in the spring? After a heartbreaking end to the 2009-2010 season for both the men’s and women’s teams, the

Sweets have their eyes set on national success, and are prepared to work hard to achieve it.

“We’re hoping to make a real impression. Last year we went to D3 nationals and came in second, but this year we have a shot to make it to D1 nationals,” said senior Chris Saxby. “To go to D1 nationals would be a huge accomplish-

ment for a team like ours with limited funding, no coach and a smaller student-body to draw from.”

The Sweets, whose men’s team fell in the Division 3 national championship to Carleton College last year, are looking forward to a chance to avenge their loss, said Harris.

“Carleton’s always our big rival, I guess. The team had a good chance to win nationals last year. I don’t know exactly what happened; it was a very close game. Unfortunately for Whitman and fortunately for Carleton they won, but from what I understand, our net gain in talent this year was greater than theirs was because they lost their two best players, and our freshmen class may be more athletic than theirs.”

The women’s team, which won the Division 3 national championship two years ago, is recovering from a heartbreaking loss of a different sort. Due to a freak rostering error, the female Sweets were unable to compete for the championship in the 2009-2010 season; but in a spirit emblematic of the Sweets as a whole, first year Celine Valentin said expectations for a return to glory have never invaded fall practices.

“We actually haven’t talked about that once, which is actually really nice. It’s really refreshing. We’re really working on the fundamentals of everything.”

Valentin, like many members of the Sweets, had never played ultimate Frisbee prior to coming to Whitman, and

her experience learning the sport has been entirely positive.

“Everyone is just so opening and welcoming and helpful. They were like, ‘Oh, you’ve never played before? Great!

Well this is how you start.’ They have this incredible enthusiastic and helpful attitude all the time, and it’s all about having fun no matter what. The Frisbee team is honestly the nicest group of people I’ve met at Whitman.”

While the men’s and women’s teams this year are led by seasoned veterans, both teams are also padding their ranks with an unusually large number of firstyear players, a fact Harris said will take some adjusting to.

“Right now we’re focusing primarily on team chemistry and getting the freshmen situated on the team. At our first tournament this year in Burlington, a lot of our better players didn’t go, so it was primarily a tournament to get less experienced players more accustomed to playing in this level of competition, and we had some pretty great moments and some beautiful Frisbee.”

Questions of experience aside, things are looking good for the Sweets, who were recently featured in an issue of “Ultimate Magazine” for their stellar performance in last year’s national championship. With experience, focus and motivation on their side, the Sweets are looking to make this season a banner year for Ultimate Frisbee at Whitman.

Whitman lacks consistent, dedicated fan base

by LIBBY ARNOSTI Staff Reporter

It’s no question that Whitman students are an enthusiastic bunch. Students’ enthusiasm for the Whitman community falls short, however, when it comes to supporting the college’s athletics.

Whitman sporting events are often sparsely attended; the students who do turn out for games either come to watch a particular player, such as a friend or standout athlete, or they come to simply socialize in small groups during the game.

Junior Thomas Knook describes fandom at Whitman as being “very docile.”

“Whitman does not have the sense of community around their varsity athletics that seems a very integral part of attending a larger school,” said Knook, a self-proclaimed sports enthusiast and avid IM football coach and player who particularly enjoys watching basketball, volleyball, ultimate frisbee, rugby and lacrosse.

Sophomore club volleyball player Alex Brott believes that perhaps what is lacking at Whitman is “the high school football game environment,” where a central sport serves to unify the school.

“I want to feel, as a supporter, united in one common cause with a lot of other people. I think that’s a universal desire for any sports fan,” said Knook.

For larger Division I universities such as UCLA, an established reputation in athletics makes sporting events an automatic unifying factor for the student body. Sophomore transfer student Genay Pilarowski remembers no lack of fans in the 60,000-person crowds at UCLA football games.

“There are thousands of people in the stands, and they’re almost all cheering for UCLA. It’s an insane feeling. I miss that,” said said of her experience attending athletics events at her former school, an experience that pales in comparison to the empty stands at Whitman events.

Is the problem that Whitties are simply less interested in sports than the average UCLA student? Not necessarily. “[Attending games is] just a social thing to do. Not everyone pays attention to the game,” said Pilarowski, explaining that the huge crowds are largely a result of the established “sports mentality” at UCLA, and thus serve as something that brings the whole campus together.

Efforts to achieve this campus unity have been ongoing through the Whitman Student Athletic Advisory Council (SAAC), a group of student-athletes and coaches whose goals include promoting athletic events on campus and fostering support of the athletic community.

In recent years SAAC has been making a concerted effort to strengthen the fan base on campus. Its efforts do not go

unnoticed by athletes.

“It helps us out a lot as a team to know that our peers are there to support us,” said sophomore varsity volleyball player Hannah Holloran.

“If a team is struggling and needs a little ‘oomph’, a crowd can definitely do that,” added Pilarowski, a member of varsity swim team.

Sylvie Luiten, a junior swimmer and SAAC vice-president, said the group regularly puts up posters for upcoming home games, sponsors free treats for fans and holds half-time competitions to bolster fan participation. SAAC also pairs up varsity sports teams to support each other.

“Every team gets a buddy team, to help promote their events, attend games,” she said.

This year baseball and volleyball are buddy teams, so Holloran is “excited for the spring to head out to the fields and watch our men dominate.” Her attitude is evidence of the program’s successes, as it gets athletes excited about supporting other athletes.

“The crowds at games are mostly students and fellow athletes,” said basketball player Peter Clark, who said that he in turn “really enjoy[s] going to all Whitman sporting events, particularly volleyball and soccer.”

It is not surprising that athletes and friends of players make up large portions

PARRISH Olivia Nielson ‘13 prepares to spike the ball in the Oct. 15 match against the University of Puget Sound. After winning the first set, the Whitman women let the game slip away in the next three sets (23-25, 31-29, 25-19, 25-10). The women rebounded the following night, defeating last year’s Northwest Conference (NWC) champions Pacific Luthern University in an upset 3-1 victory (14-25, 25-23, 25-13, 25-12). Last night, Oct. 20, the team fell short of tieing Whitworth University in the fourth set, losing 3-1 (25-16, 16-25, 25-16, 25-18). Outside hitter Jillian Davis ‘14 collected a match high 18 kills, reaffirming her status as the NWC’s leading hitter. This Friday, Oct. 22, the women face George Fox University, who they lost to earlier in the season.

of the crowd at games. But faculty and ing a supportive community for athletics. staff members as well as Whitman alum- Encouragement from students and staff ni can also be found among the fans. and the ongoing efforts of SAAC may yet “I try to attend as many events as pos- create a more supportive and lively fan sible with my family”, said Jamie Kennedy base at Whitman.

‘96, a former swimmer and the current Director of Planned Giving at Whitman.

Kennedy is one of a select few staff members who regularly attend games.

“We really enjoy the outdoor venues when the weather is nice, but the gym and pool are great places too,” he said.

Kennedy recognizes the value of athletics not just for students and staff, but families as well.

“I like that my daughter can grow up around sporting events,” he explained.

Many elements are inCONTRIBUTED BY STEFANIE BROWN volved in creat-

PARRISH Lauren Brougham ‘12 defends the goal in Whitman’s Oct. 13 game against Whitworth University. The prior week, she was named Northwest Conference Student Athlete of the Week for women’s soccer after posting her first shut-out of the season in the team’s Oct. 10 2-0 victory over Lewis & Clark College. The team has faced a series of unfortunate setbacks in the last two weeks, losing its last three games by scores of 3-0, 1-0 and 1-0. This Saturday, Oct. 23, the women play Pacific University, a team they lost to earlier in the season.

A&E

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 OCT 21, 2010 Page 8

FALL PLAY: Farce in Harper Joy’s ‘The Government Inspector’ also satirizes contemporary American politics. At one point a character states, “You can’t fire a school teacher.

Have you ever seen a teacher’s contract? It’s impossible!” This line could easily be interpreted as a criticism of how teacher unions and tenure have slowed education reform in the United States by making it next to impossible to fire bad teachers.

Simon noted that while the plot of the show is timeless, its meaning and critique of society has changed over time. “[The original version] makes fun of the Russian bureaucracy, but Jeffrey Hatcher’s version . . . makes fun of politics as it exists in America [today],” said Simon. “It [depicts] all of the subterfuge and deceit and playacting that goes on [within politics], and the idea that everything is done to be elected, not in terms of what is needed by the country . . . and I think that’s much more prevalent for us than the repression of the czar, which was a big theme when it was originally done.”

Other than giving audiences satirical and farcical entertainment, the show has also provided some unique opportunities for students. Senior Raisa Stebbins and Peterson, both theater majors, are acting as designers for the production of the show, with Stebbins as lighting designer and Peterson as set designer.

Peterson expressed his excitement about designing for the production.

“It’s been an amazing experience . . . being able to design for a full production like this with a full budget because you don’t generally get those opportunities as a scenic designer to actually see your work created [due to budgetary concerns],” Peterson said.

According to Peterson, the inspiration for the set design came from Simon’s initial conversation with him in which she explained that the play was going to be very much like a “Tom and Jerry” sketch.

Staff Reporter

KLAG Ben Moore ‘11 plays a townsperson attempting to manipulate Zach Simonson ‘11, who plays the hapless protagonist mistaken for “The Government Inspector.”

“It’s not a highly realistic set, and the way in which we created the walls and the look is very cartoonish,” said Peterson. “Most of it is painted on flat surfaces, which is sort of unusual for the productions we do here.”

However, Petersen felt confident that everything would come together by opening night.

Cast member sophomore Jeremy Howell expressed that he felt the set and other technical elements coming together would help improve the performances.

“I feel like with the lights and the

costumes and when everyone has fake beards—I don’t usually believe in that kind of stuff, I think that you should be able to [perform fully] without the costumes and set—but I feel that for this show [those elements] will help us live the play with more truth,” said Howell.

“The Government Inspector” opens on Oct. 21 and runs through Oct. 24.

Tickets are $12 for adults and $8 for students. Season passes for students are free. Tickets are available in the lobby of Harper Joy Theatre, until they are sold out.

Gypsy jazz band Ranger and the ReArrangers to jam at Coffeehouse Oct. 22

by MCCAULAY SINGERMILNES Staff Reporter

Whitman alumni Ranger Sciacca ’09 is returning to campus with his band Ranger and the Re-Arrangers to play at the WEB sponsored Coffeehouse on Friday, Oct. 22. at 9 p.m. Coffeehouse, a popular event held multiple times throughout the year, allows bands and other artists, such as slam poets, to perform for students.

This upcoming Coffeehouse, however, will draw a slightly different crowd, as it will also serve as one of the many entertainment options for Whitman parents to take advantage of during Parent’s Weekend.

The Re-Arrangers consists of Ranger Sciacca on violin, Michael Sciacca (his father) on rhythm guitar, Dave Stewart on mandolin, Todd Houghton on bass and Jeffrey Moose on percussion. The men play “gypsy jazz,” a genre of music that offers a new take on American jazz.

“We play gypsy jazz and that’s like what happened when gypsies in Europe heard American jazz on records and in some touring concerts in the 1930s, and they started to play themselves,” said Sciacca.

Fall Sampler Concert blends old, new members

by MCCAULAY SINGERMILNES

 page 1

“But they didn’t pick up instruments and play exactly like the Americans, they used guitars and violins instead.”

This is not the first time Ranger and the Re-Arrangers have made the journey from their hometown of Bainbridge Island to Walla Walla in order to play a show. They have played for Whitman students three times since their formation four years ago.

The audience at Whitman is really appreciative. It’s a cool place to play.

-Ranger Sciacca ‘09

“It’s always just a really great show,” said Sciacca. “The audience at Whitman is really appreciative. It’s a cool place to play. The sound guys always do a really great job and the atmosphere is great in Reid.”

Junior Carissa Wagner, Whitman Events Board’s music entertainment di-

rector, shared in the enthusiasm for the mutually beneficial relationship between WEB and Ranger and The Re-Arrangers.

“I saw them last year, and they play a great set,” said Wagner. “It’s hard to find bands that work in the sound and space of the coffee house and are still up beat.”

Whitman seniors Monica Finney and Molly Knell will join the band on stage as guest vocalists, each singing three solos and one duet with the band.

“They are both going to sing three songs each with us, and one song they are getting together to perform a duet type of arrangement,” said Sciacca. “That’s been another fun thing about coming back, we’ve always had some musical special guest.”

After performing for Whitman students, the band will entertain Walla Walla residents with a live show at Vintage Cellars at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 23, located at 10 N. 2nd Avenue. This performance will be more routine, as their typical audience usually consists of older adults, rather than college students, suggesting the band’s ability to appeal to various generations with their music.

COMIC STRIP

O

On Friday, Oct. 22, students and visiting parents will gather in Cordiner Hall to hear musical performances from Whitman’s academic, credit-based ensembles at the annual Fall Sampler Concert. This year’s sampler will also serve as the first public performance for the newest additions to the music faculty-showcasing the melding of the new and the old student and faculty members of Whitman’s department of music.

The sampler will feature Chorale, Chamber Singers, Orchestra, Jazz Ensemble, Jazz Combo and Wind Ensemble.

Each group will perform a small selection from their repertoire, giving the audience a taste of the sound they would produce at one of their larger and more focused concerts.

The concert will open with two pieces from the vocal ensemble Chorale, directed by Adjunct Associate Professor of Music and Whitman alumna Danielle Warner. Warner, who participated in the Fall Sampler Concert as a student, now has the opportunity to see what it is like on the other side of the stage as a conductor. Warner chose songs that represent the various styles and tones the Chorale is able to perform.

“We are performing ‘Salmo 150’ by Ernani Aguiar, which is fast and up-tempo and lively and loud and powerful, and then we have a really sensitive song—’Never Seek to Tell Thy Love,’” said Warner.

Walla Walla High School’s choir director, Norbert Rossi, arranged the piece “Never Seek to Tell Thy Love” by drawing the material from a poem by William Blake.

“[It’s] great [that the chorale is performing this piece] because he is a member of the community, and I just think it’s really important to showcase local composers when we get the chance,” said Warner.

Visiting Assistant Professor of Music Jeremy Mims will direct the Orchestra and the Chamber Singers in their first public performance of the year.

“I’m very excited; both groups are doing a great job, and it’s going to be exciting to actually perform,” said Mims.

Chorale and chamber singer senior Jackson Maberry believes students have embraced the new professors and does not believe the changes in staff will affect the objectives of the sampler.

“It’s a new scene in terms of who’s doing what, but it’s a really old tradition. It’s been going on a long time, and I’m sure will continue for as long as there is music here,” said Maberry.

The concert will end with performances from the Jazz Ensemble, led by Whitman professor of 22 years David Glenn.

“Jazz Ensemble is a particularly good band this year,” said Glenn. “We will be playing one straight-ahead swing tune and a salsa Latin jazz piece to close out the program.”

The Whitman Fall Sampler usually draws a large crowd, due to the opportunity to hear a varied mix of students perform as well as the fact that it’s scheduled for Parents’ Weekend.

“The point of the event is to be another opportunity for people around campus to hear their peers performing in a music environment, and also for the parents to see among all the things their students are going to have access to, they also have access to a really rich musical program,” said Maberry.

THRIFTY WHITTIES

Caring for your clothes Installment 1: Proper laundering technique

by OLIVIA JONES Columnist

Alright, you are now in college and hopefully you have learned how to do your own laundry. Unfortunately, laundering your clothes is a little more complex than just piling them into the washing machine with some soap and pressing start. Even if you have been in the practice of laundering for years, there are still a few tricks to learn. Clothes, and making them look nice, has been my family’s business for generations, and with my penchant for one-of-akind, fragile vintage dresses, I have learned to pamper my clothes. I am also a frugal college student, so I have a lot of clothes purchased at thrift stores. However, even if you are wearing something you bought for fewer than five dollars, you can still look chic and well-tailored simply by taking good care of your clothes.

First, go back to the basics-separate your colors. I know the one load system is popular for students with so many better things to do than laundry, but your whites will never stay white if you don’t wash them on hot. Whites may make up a small percentage of your laundry load, so do a load of sheets and whites on hot together. As a bonus you will be sure to wash your sheets every two weeks or so with this method, and let us face it-that might not be a bad thing.

Next, make sure to get a stain treatment spray or stick. You would be surprised by just how much of a difference they make.

If you can’t seem to remember to spot treat your clothes before you throw them in the wash, then get a roll-on stick and treat

them at the end of the day before throwing them in the laundry pile. After you have washed a garment that you have spot treated and before you put it in the dryer, check the stain to make sure it has disappeared. If it has not, you can re-treat the stain while the garment is still wet and re-wash it.

Another use I have found for stain treatment sprays is white bra straps. If you do not wear bras you can skip to the next paragraph. If you do, then you know how difficult it is to keep white bra straps from becoming discolored. When I am hand washing my delicates (if it has lace you really ought to hand wash) I usually wash the whites and light colors first while the water is still hot. Before I throw them in the sink, I rub stain removal spray into the straps and any other discolored places. Then while I am washing them, I scrub the straps until all of the soap is out of them.

Finally, remember that dryers are the bane of your clothes. They fade them, shrink them, wear them down and fray them. Personally, I avoid drying as much as I can. I do not dry polar fleece, as it will pill, nor do I dry anything I own that is nicely tailored. I definitely do not dry my jeans or my sweaters. Jeans should be washed inside out to prevent fading as best as possible and then air-dried, either by hanging them or laying them flat to dry. For wool sweaters, lay them flat on a towel and every few hours flip it over until they are completely dry.

That is all for laundering, but stay tuned to Thrifty Whitties, and I will teach you more tricks for making your clothes look like they are worth more than you bought them for.

A&E

October 21, 2010

9

PIO PICKS Lecture from Casey McDonough opens “ReMapping,” Sheehan’s second installment

Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend.

Here are this week’s picks:

by SEAN MCNULTY

Fridays at Four Recital Series Presents The Whitman Jazz Collective: Featuring Whitman students Ross Eustis (trumpet), Brian Barton (alto sax), Robby Seager (percussion), Jonas Myers (piano) and Nathan Radakovich (bass), the Whitman Jazz Collective will play arranged jazz pieces on Friday, Oct. 22 from 4-5 p.m. in Chism Recital Hall. No charge.

Staff Reporter

Sheehan Gallery’s second installment of the year, a contemporary and nontraditional exhibit titled “ReMapping: Expanding Landscape of Ceramics”, kicked off on Friday, Oct. 15 with a talk by contributing artist Casey McDonough. Incorporating non-traditional methods, materials, and inspiration, McDonough and other artists are bringing a new wave of ceramics to Whitman College.

Ceramics, according to curator and visiting professor of art Joe Page, is changing rapidly. ReMapping reflects those changes.

“The boundaries between different practices are being broken down,” Page said.

Exhibits at ReMapping incorporate electronics, new materials and viewer participation to create a novel gallery experience.

“It’s a survey of what’s being done in modern ceramics,” said Page. “These artists challenge the conventions and perceived limitations.”

Page met McDonough on Artaxis. org. McDonough contacted Page, asking him to do a show at Cedar Crest College in Pennsylvania. The two met in person at a ceramics convention in Phoenix, AZ, and Page flew out to Pennsylvania to do the show. Both shared an interest in nontraditional ceramics. McDonough, as well as six other artists have come to Whitman to help put together ReMapping.

During his talk, McDonough whisked the audience through the bullet points of his background—his approach to ceramics, his past, his inspiration and his technique.

“I look at my own studio practice as a method of sorting through what I’ve been told is the truth,” McDonough explained. In order to create, he juxtaposes science and art.

“I went to college for marine biology,” McDonough continued. He flashed a number of short slides up on the screen: octopus eggs, transparent

PARRISH Artists of “ReMapping” explore alternative ceramic styles. The exhibit opened on October 15 and will close on November 17.

jellyfish and a transparent clump of cells.“I can use this information that I got from my science education to inform my artwork.”

McDonough cited the “ubiquitous forms” and “ubiquitous patterns” of the natural world. Some of the slides included cylindrical shapes of polyps rising up in clay and roughly-hewed bricks standing in a Fibonacci sequence.

According to Page, ceramics was at one point pigeonholed into a “manageable and marginalized spaced insulated from the trends . . . in contemporary art.”

The art form is traditionally associated with shapes and sculptures fired from clay or terracotta. ReMapping puts aside that assumption.

“What sets our work aside,” said McDonough, “is willingness to try new materials.”

Artist Claire Hedden explained that her work uses foam, cardboard and fabric to balance out dense, heavy materials like clay. Amy Santoferrano,

another contributing artist, moves past physical ceramics completely by incorporating them stop-motion animation. Very little of ReMapping appears to have come out of a kiln.

Some of the other slides, as well as the ceramic pieces, included images of electron shells, balls of unfired clay lined with arching wire, food webs, flow charts and friend trees from MySpace and Facebook. The ceramics of Sheehan are linked together with delicate webs of string.

“Master Plan,” an installation set up by Gail Heidel, allows visitors to push around large terra-cotta bollards mounted on wheels.

“The viewer is invited to . . . create their own traffic pattern within the gallery,” Heidel wrote in her statement.

“This invitation involves the viewer.”

Visitors can push the bollards around to arrange them as they like.

The exhibit, rather than standing behind a sheet of glass or a barrier rope, is part of the visitor’s space.

McDonough also pushes the bound-

Fresh from scratch treats worth tasting at Walla Walla restaurants, cafés

by NANYONJO MUKUNGU & C.J. WISLER Staff Reporter & A&E Editor

Dessert options at Walla Walla restaurants offer a pleasant alternative to a full course meal for students and parents desiring a morning treat, afternoon pastry or a late-night dessert. The Colville Street Patisserie, Whitehouse-Crawford, and Cookie Tree Bakery and Café present an assortment of dessert experiences.

Colville Street Patisserie: Located a short distance away from campus at 40 S. Colville, The Colville Street Patisserie offers a sizable array of French pastries, gelatos, coffees and desserts inside their cozy coffeehouse interior.

In 2008, Tiffany Cain and David Christiansen bought the Patisserie and added to the menu options.

“We’ve expanded where we can,” said Cain. “We have a lot of new dessert options, homemade sodas and also a few savory lunch items, like our pork and ginger turnover.”

Some of the most popular desserts include the crème brulee, the white chocolate mousse and the Quign Aman--a delicious pastry coated in a light sugar glaze and a spray of sea salt (which I sampled)-and Cain’s personal favorite, the chocolate caramel tart. Nearly everything at the Patisserie is made from scratch, including syrups for espressos and sodas. Cain and Christiansen get many of their ingredients locally.

“We have a food service, but we rely heavily on local farms and the farmer’s market,” said Cain. “We also get organic milk from Pure Eire [a Columbia Basin grass-fed milk farm], which we’re excited about.”

The Patisserie also offers a variety of wines, beers and refreshing homemade sodas.

“I’ve always liked soda, but found them too sweet for my taste,” said Cain. “I decided it would be fun to make them to my liking, so we made flavors like blueberry and lime-basil.”

Although most of the dessert items cost around six dollars, most are large enough to share with friends. Whether stopping by for coffee or cake with the folks, be sure to check out the Colville Street Patisserie.

Whitehouse-Crawford Restaurant: If you have a little extra time, cash and a car on your hands, WhitehouseCrawford offers a delicious dessert expe-

AXTELL Mukungu takes a bite out of a creme brulée at The Colville Street Patisserie. The Patisserie, like the other restaurants featured in this article, makes all of their desserts, as well as their unique lime-basil sodas, from scratch.

rience. Located at 55 West Cherry Street, Whitehouse-Crawford was formerly an enterprising mill and furniture company before being transformed into this ambient, beautifully lit restaurant.

Although Whitehouse-Crawford coowner and chef Jamie Gurin was not available for comment, he states on the Whitehouse-Crawford page that he carefully selects local ingredients, preparing them “with respect for technique and tradition and imbued with my own sense of creativity.” A good example of Gurin’s ingenuity is the lavender panna cotta: the soft cheese is infused with the unexpected, delicate yet strong flavor of lavender alongside a tart berry sauce.

When I went to Whitehouse-Crawford, I was lucky enough to go with a group of friends, and we were all able to sample nearly every item on the dessert menu.

Some of the other desserts we sampled were the traditional vanilla bean crème brulee, a peach-almond turnover with blueberry-spice ice cream and a mouthwatering plum upside-down cake with sweet corn ice cream.

Dessert items are priced from seven to ten dollars, and most of them take a little time to prepare. The restaurant is also packed on weekends, so make sure to call ahead and reserve a table at (509)5252222. Whitehouse-Crawford is open from 5-10 p.m. Sunday-Thursday, and from 5 p.m.-midnight on Friday and Saturday.

Cookie Tree Bakery and Café: Located at 23 S. Spokane St., Cookie Tree is a cozy restaurant that makes all of their desserts from scratch. Owners Doug and Julie Hill, who purchased and remodeled the building in March of 1990, worked at the original Cookie Tree in

Pendleton, Ore. “I worked there part-time for a couple of years, and Doug and I ran it for the owners for a short time while they were away,” said Julie Hill. “The owners there were looking to start more Cookie Trees and we liked the business, so we came up with a deal with them to buy the recipes, the name, and some training. We liked Walla Walla, found a location that we thought would work, and moved forward.”

Along with desserts, Cookie Tree also makes bread, pie, quiche and pancakes from scratch. Although most of the ingredients come from restaurant suppliers, Cookie Tree uses fresh fruit from Andy’s Market and local Klicker Berries.

Cookie Tree sells a variety of baked goods including chocolate chip cookies, carrot cake, French cream pie and lemon bars. Julie Hill’s homemade cinnamon rolls are also a big hit.

“Our kids’ favorite has always been the cinnamon rolls, probably because they are so big,” said Hill. “They love them warmed up and just recently, we started slicing them, dipping them in our egg batter, and making French toast with them. This is on our breakfast menu and was inspired by how much our kids loved eating them this way.”

Although the restaurant hours are limited--Monday through Saturday from 8-11 a.m.--the pastries are especially fresh in the morning.

“We open early because Doug is there, baking,” said Hill. “We have gotten quite a regular base of early customers that wouldn’t know how to start their day if Doug wasn’t there to give them some coffee and a cinnamon roll or muffin.”

aries of participation and the dynamics between artist, exhibit and visitor.

The bulbous green installations in his exhibit squeak and burble to engage the audience. When visitors pass in front of light-sensitive equipment mounted inside the ceramics, different electronic voices play. The opening patrons crowded around, testing the sculpture: moving their arms here and there, finding the sensor’s beam and cycling through the different voices. “[These artists are] keeping one foot in the center while stretching out into the contemporary art world,” said Page.

Although it may not resemble a traditional ceramics exhibit, ReMapping provides visitors to Sheehan with work that intersects conventional ceramics and trends that define the art scene today. Joe Page will be presenting a curator’s talk in Olin on Saturday, Oct. 23 from 1-2 p.m. Sheehan Gallery is open from 9-5 during the week and 12-4 on weekends. The gallery exhibit will run until Nov. 17.

KWCW Show of the Week Channeling Ashtar “Channeling Ashtar” is a live-performance audio collage, synthesizing diverse music samples with the spoken word. Each episode revolves around a theme, idea or topic. Past episodes have included works of fiction such as “Dune” and “Underworld,” readings of poetry, Japanese haiku and interviews from Science and Mind Magazine. Other discussion topics include guided meditations, nuclear physics, Lacanian psychoanalysis and other various subjects. With soothing, ambient tunes similar to those featured in the “Mulholland Drive” soundtrack, “Channeling Ashtar” lets you relax, think, or any combination of the two.

Listen to “Channeling Ashtar” every Wednesday night from 10-11 p.m. on KWCW 90.5 FM or www. kwcw.net

Live @ Sapolil - Orange Fight: The Whitman faculty band will play at the winery on Friday, Oct. 22 from 8-11 p.m. The band members include Neal Christopherson (vocals), Keith Farrington (bass), Norrie Gregoire (drums), Michelle Janning (piano) and Mathew Prull (guitar). No cover charge. Sapolil Cellars is located at 15 E Main St. Visit www.sapolilcellars.com for more information.

Student Health Advisory Council (SHAC) Speakeasy Concert: This annual concert, hosted this year by junior Justis Phillips and senior Kevin Klein, features the musical stylings of Whitman’s student a capella bands: Schwa, The Testostertones and Sirens of Swank. This year’s concert will also include spoken-word poet junior Dujie Tahat.

Speakeasy will take place in Cordiner Hall on Saturday, Oct. 23 at 8:30 p.m. $5 suggested donation. All donations benefit the Walla Walla S.O.S clinic, which provides free health care to those in need.

ZUMBA Fitness: The 2nd annual ZUMBA fitness session hits Whitman on Monday, Oct. 25. Sponsored by BSU and Club Latino, Zumba is an intense dance-inspired aerobic workout set to Latin and global up-tempo music. The event takes place in the Reid Ballroom from 3:50-5:15 p.m. The event is open to all interested students and faculty members.

Walla Walla Symphony - Sounds of Rejoicing: Walla Walla Symphony’s principal trumpet player William Berry will introduce his composition “A Cup of Rejoicing” in Cordiner Hall on Tuesday, Oct. 26 at 7:30 p.m. The concert will also feature guest soloist Nathaniel Rosen on cello, who will perform Schumann’s “Cello Concerto in A Minor.” Call (509) 529-8020 for ticket pricing.

WEB Cookie Baking Contest: Feeling hungry? Think your cookies are the most delicious? Best decorated? Contain the most creative alternative ingredients? Come look, bake and taste at the Cookie Baking Contest. The event takes place on Saturday, Oct. 23 at the Reid Coffeehouse lounge from 3:30-4:40 p.m. If you want to enter your tasty treats, send an e-mail to spevents@whitman.edu by Friday, Oct. 22.

Wine and Dine with Parents: The final installment of the Mr. Whitman calendar events, Wine and Dine offers classy music, local wine and hardy hors d’oeuvres. The event also features an auction, with prizes ranging from a bottle of wine from a local vineyard to a weekend vacation. The first event takes place at Sapolil Cellars on Friday, Oct. 22 at 4 p.m. The second event takes place at Walla Faces on Saturday, Oct. 23 at 7 p.m. All proceeds benefit the Chris Elliot Fund.

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The Pioneer ISSUE 6 OCT 21, 2010 Page 10

Twitter can serve as a legitimate vehicle for news Twitter has been derided by plenty of people on the Internet as a means for incredibly vain people to talk about what it is BLAIR that they happen FRANK to be doing every Columnist second of their sad and totally uninteresting lives. As someone who uses Twitter, I find that to be a gross misunderstanding of the situation. Okay, to be fair, there are some people who spend their time on Twitter begging Justin Bieber to follow them or tweeting incoherently, but there are also some remarkable and intelligent people using it.

At this point, Twitter is what provides me with most of my local, national and international news. As far as I’m concerned, if I need to hear about it, Twitter will tell me. For example, I first heard about the death of renowned mathematician Benoit Mandelbrot from someone I follow on Twitter. The same thing goes for the rescue of the trapped miners in Chile and the use of pork products against Muslims in the United States.

Of course, those are issues of national importance. You could get that sort of stuff from anywhere in the United States, and certainly from a national newspaper or major blog. Where Twitter really shines as a means of finding relevant and important news stories has to do with local news. I’m from California, so turning on a television here at Whitman or flipping through the Union-Bulletin won’t tell me about what’s going on back home. But with Twitter, the people I follow from the Bay Area will tweet about important local issues.

While Cal Berkeley’s slaughter this past weekend at the hands of USC doesn’t get much play here in Eastern Washington, I can still find out about it through Twitter. The same goes for running commentary on Giants games, the gubernatorial race and ordinary goings on about town. With the network of people I follow, I can

know whether or not Oakland is burning (nope), if there are any protests in Berkeley (flip a coin, if heads, probably) and if an earthquake has struck the region.

I tend to flip through the New York Times online when I get a chance, but when I’m pressed for time, looking through the headlines posted by people I follow tends to give me a far more interesting and personalized experience, while still providing me with important information. This is what newspapers need to be on the lookout for: rather than getting all of my information from a single hub, I get bits and pieces from people I know. One story might come from the San Francisco Chronicle, while another is from the Washington Post. For me, Twitter serves many purposes, but one of the most useful is that it’s my own personalized newspaper.

What if you want to build your own news network on Twitter from scratch?

It certainly seems like a daunting task.

Here’s how to get started in a few simple steps: 1. Check out my column on getting started with Twitter from last year.

That’ll help get you started with an account and good client software.

2. Find some people to follow who can provide you with news that interests you. On the national level, I enjoy Roger Ebert for politics and arts news.

The New York Times’ David Pogue and independent blogger John Gruber are great for technology news. Where sports are concerned, you’re probably best off finding someone who shares a passion for your team, but Jim Rome tends to have some pretty good all around commentary.

3. Find friends who also use Twitter, or recruit some of your friends to join you. The stuff I read that’s been linked to by friends of mine is more tailored to what I like to read because of our shared interests.

4. Share stuff you find interesting.

Twitter’s a two-way street. If someone posts something you like, pass it on.

If you find something that you think others would find interesting, send it out as well.

Happy tweeting!

Opinion

O

China must not censor media The government’s news-silencing strategy failed to blind the people, but rather, generated more fury against the information control and sympathy toward Liu Xiaobo.

Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo was awarded the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize for his “long and nonviolent struggle for fundamental human DING rights in China,” LI the Norway NoColumnist bel Committee said. Immediately following the announcement, Chinese government denounced the city of Oslo fiercely, threatening that it would affect the relationship between Norway and China.

However, Chinese citizens, with its range of intellectuals and grass-root netizens, hailed Liu’s winning of the prize.

More than 100 writers, lawyers, activists and students initiated a signed letter urging the government to free Liu Xiaobo and other political criminals. They pleaded with the government to “abolish the crime of incitement to subvert state power,” as suggested in Liu’s Charter 08, which sentenced him to 11 years in jail in 2009. Netizens from Shenzhen to Beijing immediately organized parties and gatherings to celebrate the first Nobel Prize Mainland China has won since its establishment just as when the Chinese honored Yang Liwei, the first Chinese spaceman who stepped out of the Shenzhou-5.

It’s no surprise that the exiled Dalai Lama, the U.S. President Barack Obama, the Japanese Prime Minister Naoto Kan, France, Germany, Norway and other Western countries greeted Liu the minute he won the Nobel Peace Prize. It’s worth contemplating when most of China’s countrymen are taking the opposite side against the government.

Chinese people and the government had been craving winning a Nobel Prize for many decades. I remember the childhood stories about the clever Alfred Bernhard Nobel who invented the dynamite and the childhood dreams to be an inventor like Nobel. I remember the Nobel Prize sections media organizations published to discuss the Nobel Prize

winners, their works and commentary about why China had never received one. I remember whenever Chen Ning Yang (Franklin Yang), a Chinese American who won the Nobel Prize in physics, came to visit China, there would always be a question, “When do you think China will win a Nobel Prize?”

But today, the Nobel Prize is a sensitive phrase! Along with the denouncement, the Chinese government canceled all news reports about Liu winning the prize and removed the Nobel Prize sections of the major portal websites such as Sina.com, Tencent.com and Sohu. com.

If there is a future, the future is at the hands of the youth, as said Mao Zedong.

The Nobel Peace Prize used to be equally important to the Chinese and Chinese government. Winning a Nobel Prize suggested the recognition of Chinese education and the Party’s governing ideas from the Western world. It proved that China is a nation of great people-a nation that is not only economically strong but also, possesses brainpower.

However, Oslo’s prize award to the dissident Liu Xiaobo indicates a disappointment of the international society towards the education and the governing ideas of which the government is proud.

For the first time, the international disappointment didn’t trigger Chinese nationalism. The government’s newssilencing strategy failed to blind the people, but rather, generated more fury against the information control and garnered sympathy for Liu Xiaobo. Most Chinese people, like me, rarely knew Liu Xiaobo before he won the prize. Yet, in the greeting webpage of Nobelprize.org, Chinese individuals and organizations flocked to congratulate him: “Congratulations from a migrant worker in Shenzhen.”

“Great congratulation to Mr. Liu Xiaobo winning the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize from Graduate School of Tsinghua University [the top university in China].”

“Congratulations from Qingdao University of Science and Technology.”

People stand beside Liu Xiaobo largely, if not solely based on Oslo’s statement of “his long and non-violent struggle for fundamental human rights in China.”

Perhaps they don’t know what Liu has done, or they don’t bother to know since their voices, as Liu Xiaobo’s, have been suppressed. They can’t even type “Liu Xiaobo” in Renren.com, the Chinese Facebook. I changed my status in Renren.com to, “Liu Xiaobo cried ‘I am innocent’ when he was taken away from the court in 2009,” but several minutes later when I opened that webpage again, it was erased with a notice sent to me saying, “The content is not suitable to be published in this website.”

The Nobel Peace Prize may carry political tensions. It may be a tool that the Western world utilizes to leverage against China, as the Chinese government and its supporters warn. However, as a Chinese proverb “Try to cover something up only to make it more conspicuous” from Yu Gai Mi Zhang suggests, the more the government tries to keep its people away from the inconvenient truth through censorship, the more cynical people will become toward the government.

China is developing, not only economically but also intellectually. With the increasing number of people getting linked to the Internet, it will become more and more difficult for a government to create boundaries for people, especially the youth, the future of China, from getting the truth.

Wake up, Chinese government! I won’t say Liu is right in advocating “a federated republic” concerning the future of China. If there is a future, the future is at the hands of the youth, as said Mao Zedong.

What’s the point of limiting the right to freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by the Chinese Constitution, and letting the youth stand against you?

Whitman administration should be unafraid to take political stance This past Sunday, ASWC representatives voted in favor of a resolution supporting the DREAM Act, a Congressional bill that would creZACH ate a path to legal DUFFY permanent resiColumnist dency for undocumented immigrants who were brought to the United States as children.

It was the right step for Whitman, which is home to a number of undocumented students who cannot qualify for work study or find employment after graduation without legal status. But for all of the symbolic worth that ASWC’s endorsement has to those students, I’m disappointed that President Bridges and the Whitman administration have chosen not to issue their own statement in favor of the DREAM Act.

There are certain issues which merit public comment by college presidents, and the DREAM Act is one of them. It relates directly to the business of colleges and universities, which is admitting and educating the most capable young people that apply to the institutions.

Undocumented students, capable as they may be, face substantial barriers to their college admission as a direct result of their legal status.

Ariel Ruiz ’11, co-author of the ASWC DREAM Act resolution, wrote a report last year examining the higher education aspirations of Latino students at Walla Walla High School as part of Whitman’s “State of the State for Washington Latinos” initiative. He found that as undocumented students at Wa-Hi became more aware of the implications of their legal status, their aspirations to attend college decreased. They lived in fear of deportation from their longtime homes and could not focus on schoolwork. Few resources were available at

Wa-Hi to teach undocumented students about the possibilities of attending state public colleges or receiving private financial aid at colleges like Whitman. All too often the result was that students felt as if they could not apply to college at all.

Ruiz’s research illustrates the potential of the DREAM Act to alter the lives of thousands of young people in Eastern Washington. Walla Walla County is itself 19 percent Latino; Wa-Hi is over 30 percent Latino; nearby Adams County is 57.9 percent Latino. With the conditional legal status granted by the DREAM Act, students like those in Ruiz’s study would no longer have any reason to temper their ambitions to go to college or succeed in school. A statement in support of the DREAM Act from the Whitman administration would therefore not simply be a statement in support of the abstract principle that undocumented students who are brought to the United States at a young age deserve a path to

permanent residency. It would also be a statement in support of the many undocumented students in Eastern Washington who aspire to go to college and serve their country after graduating from high school.

My biggest frustration with the silence of the administration on this issue is that I strongly believe President Bridges appreciates the potential impact that the passage of the DREAM Act could have on the educational futures of undocumented students. His research on the involvement of racial and ethnic minorities in the juvenile justice system suggests a deep understanding of the impact that a person’s status can have on his or her life experiences. The administration’s silence instead appears to stem from a larger sentiment that Whitman’s president should never take a public stance on political issues, no matter how relevant they might be to the student body.

I strongly disagree with that concep-

tion of President Bridges’ responsibilities. While a college president should take care not to make students uncomfortable by endorsing politically controversial legislation, measures like the DREAM Act are referendums on the value of people themselves. As the leader of an institution that is home to undocumented students, President Bridges has nothing less than a moral responsibility to affirm their value with public endorsements of legislation that would do the same.

Many college presidents have endorsed the DREAM Act: Dr. Bill V. Flores, president of the University of Houston (downtown campus); Robert J. Birgeneau, chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley; Rebecca Chopp, president of Swarthmore College; Drew Gilpin Faust, president of Harvard College; and Amy Gutmann, president of the University of Pennsylvania, to name just a few. Now is the time to add President Bridges’s name to that list.

POLI T IC AL C ARTOON

LET T ER TO T HE EDI TOR

DOUGLAS

To the Editors, In 2010 Whitman students participated in peaceful vigils in the Tri-Cities area to raise awareness and support for fired immigrant workers at Ruby Ridge Dairy in Pasco.

We, as other farm worker allies, thank the Whitman students and staff for this solidarity and urge you to continue to stand with the “Fired 14” workers who seek collective bargaining and a union contract through United Farm Workers (UFW) at the large dairy owned by the Bengen family, member of the Seattle-based Darigold cooperative.

For future involvement in nonviolent actions in this struggle, please contact Arturo Sepulveda, UFW, Tel. 541-571-8342; email jarturosepulveda@hotmail.com.

Plus, Oregon Farm Worker Ministry (OFWM) provides resources for

writing letters and sending petitions to Ruby Ridge Dairy; Grace United Reformed Church, Kennewick (Bengen’s congregation); Darigold; and Northwest Farm Credit Services, Spokane (the dairy’s lender). In addition, we encourage sending cash donations to the fired workers’ families, fasting for worker justice, and organizing teach-ins and forums for awareness about the Ruby Ridge campaign and immigrant farm worker justice in Washington state. Contact OFWM at 503-623-5153 or email edgarbrandt@q.com. We welcome your questions and suggestions in this important issue which affects us all as people of faith engaged in bringing peace and justice to all, especially in Northwest agriculture.

Ed Brandt, President, Oregon Farm Worker Ministry Dallas, Ore.

OPINION

October 21, 2010

Scrambles accessible to disabled students

First-year student MiKayla Briere’s love of whitewater rafting challenges common notions about the disabled.

“All the differences were on the shore,” Scramble leader sophomore John Whiting said about first-year MiKayla Briere, one of his whitewater rafting ALLISON Scramblers.

BOLGIANO Briere is difColumnist ferent from the average Whitman first-year in several ways. Not a member of the Seattle or Portland multitudes, she hails from Lincoln, N.H. a small town in middle of the White Mountains. She knew she wanted to attend Whitman and only applied to Whitman. She wants to major in geology-environmental studies. She gets around campus using a hot pink wheelchair.

The bright wheelchair represents her spunky personality. She is fiery and not afraid to give honest answers.

“She’s the definition of sass,” Whiting said.

“She’s really gung ho about everything.

She’ll try whatever,” Scramble leader Claire Snyder said.

Having lived with a degenerative condition her whole life, Briere started using a wheelchair at the beginning of her junior year of high school. She doesn’t let her disability keep her from doing the things she loves.

On the Scramble, MiKayla could get anywhere on the rafts, according to Whiting.

“I like riding the bull, which is sitting on the front of the boat while you’re going through rapids,” said Briere.

The Bodaciously Bouncing Boating Scramble rafted on the Salmon River in Idaho. With Whiting, junior Snyder, sophomore Matt Raymond, and senior Drew Trogstad-Isaacson in the lead, the 19 person group spent six days running class I-IV rapids. They carried all their gear with them and set up camp at a new site each night.

“The most challenging part was the beaches because they’re super sandy so my wheelchair just sank into it,” said Briere.

The leaders experimented with different wheelchair rigs. They soon arrived at a solution. Piggyback rides proved the best way for MiKayla to get around.

“John Whiting became my official horse for the trip. John would carry me anywhere I needed to go,” said Briere.

One afternoon the group was sprinting into the river.

To ensure she did not miss out on any of the action,

Raymond picked MiKayla up on his back and ran full speed into the river with her.

Briere and fellow Scrambler Aleksander Maricq were the first disabled students ever to participate in a Scramble. The leaders’ success in making the trip accessible, safe and fun for both students is an accomplishment that has opened the possibilities of the Scramble program.

This year’s success allows the Outdoor Program to confidently say that students with disabilities can participate in the rafting Scramble.

“In the future we can say we’ve done this before. We did it last year. Don’t not do it because of fear of challenging the

Briere says that she would like people to see her as a person without a wheelchair.

system,” Whiting said.

Bodaciously Bouncing Boating was not a lone outdoor adventure for Briere who was a snowboard racer on the national circuit before she began using a wheelchair. To continue her passion for snow sports she now mono-skis.

“I didn’t know who I was without snow. I had to change directions. I didn’t want to lose everything. I’d built a love for something and you just have to find a way to get back to what you love,” Briere said.

Briere has not only found a way to keep skiing herself, but she is helping others do the same.

Teaching adaptive skiing to children with dis-

abilities is very fulfilling for Briere.

Since arriving at Whitman, she is developing new passions. Whitewater kayaking and rafting trips dot Briere’s schedule. She is taking Beginning Whitewater Kayaking, and has learned to roll a kayak.

“She has found a niche in the whitewater program,” Snyder said.

After her Scramble, a Deschutes rafting trip, a Hell’s Canyon rafting and kayaking trip and a Salmon River whitewater kayaking trip, Briere loves spending weekends outdoors.

“I’d rather go on an OP trip somewhere crazy than go to a party because you don’t get to go on trips like this in real life. You grow a lot closer to people when you’re away from civilization,” said Briere.

A love of adventure and a willingness to challenge herself are hallmarks of Briere’s personality.

“She definitely cautious, but she’s willing to take amazing risks. What I’m hoping for is that MiKayla can have some leadership roles in the OP. She has enough spunk to be an effective and hilarious leader,” Whiting said.

Briere says that she would like people to see her as person without a wheelchair.

“Don’t be afraid of it. It’s just there,” she said.

Whitewater gets Briere out of her wheelchair. Beyond that, it removes the differences that normally distinguish MiKayla from others.

“I like that the fact that you’d never know the difference between me and you in a kayak. You wouldn’t know which one of us is in a wheelchair,” she smiled.

It’s true. When Briere paddles, the wheelchair stays on the shore.

A zealous and daring person is all you would see as she navigates hydraulics, holes and huge waves.

E. JOHNSON

11

Whitman life hides environmental consequences of student behavior As the RA of the E nv i ron m e nt a l Interest House, I’ve spent the majority of my Saturday and Sunday mornings over the last year LAUREN picking up recyMCCULLOUGH cling from the Columnist residence halls.

The first morning I went recycling, I expected to spend an hour picking up recycling. I ended up spending over three hours sifting through huge bags of unsorted recyclables and generally having my outlook and understanding of environmentalism at Whitman thoroughly walloped. Over the past semester, I’ve come to the conclusion that Whitman lifestyle necessitates a dramatic change in the way we conceptualize responsibility on campus.

I used the word recyclables above loosely. My experience has led me to the somewhat demoralizing conclusion that only a minuscule percentage of what Whitties try to recycle in residence halls is actually recyclable.

Notable items I’ve found include, but are not limited to: used Q-tips, Styrofoam, moldy muffins, balls of hair, bottles half full of flat beer, chip bags, balls of hair, used tampons and plastic bags full of rotten substances once intended for compost. This is all mixed in with paper, cardboard, glass, aluminum and tin--recyclables which are supposed to be sorted, but rarely are.

Getting month-old, congealed milk spilled on my shoes during pick-up isn’t what really bothers me (though it annoys me when people don’t take the time to rinse out their cartons). Rather, what concerns me is the presence of the more serious issue of displaced responsibility, which the current state of recycling at Whitman merely hints at.

I’d always considered the average Whittie to be somewhat environmentally inclined, yet each week I’ve gotten more and more confused about the contents of the recycling. The strange mix of paper, Keystone cans and garbage in the residence halls each week can’t result from a lack of education about recycling. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the average Whittie has enough common sense to understand that old pizza slices don’t belong in the barrel labeled “aluminum.” And while it might be tempting to say that Whitman students are apathetic, I’ve found a community of caring, engaged people here, leading me to the conclusion that the problem is not that Whitman students don’t give a shit.

The paradoxical situation I’ve found myself puzzling at is this: at an institution which prides itself on having an “environmental ethic,” in a community where the students are intelligent and compassionate, how can the present state of recycling be

explained?

I’ve come to the conclusion that by the very act of attending Whitman, students become distanced from their own behaviors and habits. If the act of being responsible entails holding oneself accountable, this notion of responsibility becomes problematic at Whitman.

There are under-appreciated and unseen workers in all scenes of campus life (grounds crew, security, custodial services, recycling, to name just a few) which helped us earn a 16th Princeton ranking “Runs Like Butter.” These services happen behind the scenes, and as a result, we aren’t the least bit accountable for our behaviors. We’ve essentially become dis-embedded from the ramifications our roles as consumers, students and global citizens have on other people and the environment.

I’ve seen this while picking up the recycling. When it’s so easy to drop a can or a wrapper in one of the receptacles placed conveniently all over campus, it becomes difficult to gauge the amount of waste you’re actually generating.

This disconnect between how our actions impact other people and the environment is pervasive in all aspects of campus life. When you throw a partially full beer bottle in the recycling barrel, you don’t see the Outhouse resident has to deal with it. When you leave your trash on Ankeny Field, you don’t see the grounds crew member who has to pick it up. When you leave the study lamp on in the quiet room, you don’t see the environmental degradation resulting from fossil fuel extraction.

I don’t seek to critique the services and environment Whitman provides for us. We pay a lot of money for this kind of experience and we’re fortunate to have it. But when we’re unavoidably distanced from the results of our actions as both consumers and global citizens, it becomes high time to redefine responsibility. So I do seek to pose a new question, one I hope all you Whitties will take to heart.

What does it mean to be responsible on our campus? In a world where processes from cradle to grave and production to consumption are so diffuse, I’m not sure it’s even possible to understand the full extent of the activities in which we engage.

Therefore, at the very minimum, I suggest that responsibility entails the recognition of this disconnect present at Whitman. Further, as citizens of the world and this college, we are obligated to consistently and critically engage with our own habits, questioning what we do and why we do it. If we can’t see the impacts our lifestyle has on other people or the environment, we need to ask ourselves whether our behaviors are even warranted to begin with.

And in the meanwhile, it wouldn’t hurt to rinse out your bottles before recycling them.

BOARD EDI TORIAL

ASWC must always be mindful when allocating student dollars

A Board Editorial is an opinion piece formulated and written by the editors of The Pioneer. It does not reflect the opinion of any one person on the paper, but rather of the paper as a whole. In writing this Board Editorial, we intend to spark a lively discussion and to provoke students to think about how ASWC represents Whitman students and spends student dollars.

On Oct. 30, three Whitman students will be among the tens of thousands predicted to flood the National Mall for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s joint “Rally to Restore Sanity/March to Keep Fear Alive” event.

What is startling is that our Associated Students of Whitman College (ASWC) dollars will be paying for their three round trip plane tickets to Washington, D.C. Last Sunday, Oct. 17, in an almost unanimous vote (22-2), the ASWC Senate approved a 1,200 dollar budget request proposed by the three first-year students.

As representatives of the student body, ASWC officials are faced with the challenge of balancing the interests of individual students and the larger interests of the student body. In light of this and other similar budget requests, this is a responsibility that has not always been met.

While we acknowledge that students should have access to student dollars for purposes that they choose, and that students should never be deterred from seeking such money, this in no way absolves ASWC of critically questioning and judging if student requests have the clear possibility of benefiting more than just the students who request the funding.

The students made their request through ASWC’s Travel and Student Development Fund. This fund currently sits

at approximately 22,000 dollars, money that ASWC encourages students to spend in some shape or form over the course of the 2010-2011 academic year.

According to ASWC’s bylaws, the Travel and Student Development Fund is used for the broad purpose of “funding travel and development opportunities for students, student organizations, and elected and salaried employees of ASWC.” Requests exceeding 1,000 dollars require a majority vote by the Finance Committee as well as a two-thirds majority vote of the Senate for approval.

ASWC is authorized to require recipients of student dollars to fulfill certain conditions before reimbursing their travel or development costs. Such conditions include writing a report to ASWC about their experience and/or holding an on-campus event after they have returned from their student-funded trip.

Other requirements can be added to any request by the Senate or the Chair of the Finance Committee.

It remains to be seen, however, how successful ASWC is in enforcing these conditions and what effect they have in bringing valuable information back to the broader Whitman community. Thus, ASWC must verify that these conditions are always met before dispensing ASWC dollars.

The students in question proposed sharing their experience through Facebook photos and by live-Tweeting dur-

ing the event. They are also required by the Senate to give a presentation to the Whitman and Walla Walla communities, apply to start a club and apply to present at the 2011 Whitman Undergraduate Conference.

We doubt that the conditions that ASWC imposed when approving the request will benefit the student body much less the greater Walla Walla community in any tangible way. Viewing Facebook photos is no different than viewing Comedy Central’s live coverage of the rally.

Furthermore, we question the actual value of the rally itself. With less than two weeks until the rally, New York Times reporter Bill Carter aptly captured the uncertainties surrounding the event when he noted, “no one is quite sure what it is going to be yet,” a statement made as recently as Oct. 14.

No one at the Senate meeting could explain what exactly was going to happen at this rally, who the speakers would all be and if this rally is actually a serious attempt to revitalize American politics or mere satire.

Seeing that the Travel and Student Development Fund is comprised of all 1,537 Whitman students’ annual Student Activity Fee—currently set at 320 dollars—shouldn’t such budget requests strive to benefit the larger Whitman community?

In a similar case two years ago, two students were given money to travel to

Japan to experience Japanese culture and food under the pretense that they could somehow bring that back to benefit the Whitman community. To the best of our knowledge, they never did. Last spring, a student was granted funds to make a film over the summer with non-Whitman friends. The film has yet to be screened on campus.

While we recognize that it is impossible for any individual funding request to benefit every student on campus, ASWC needs to evaluate whether or not the recipients of student dollars could, in principle, bring back to campus in a concrete fashion the experiences they seek.

ASWC has rightfully funded in the last two years trips by KWCW managers to a conference in New York tailored to promoting college radio stations, a trip by the Whitman Christian Fellowship to attend a conference in Portland, Ore. and a trip by Club Latino members to go to the Uruguay Leadership Conference, among others. These are all requests that have a clear benefit to more students at Whitman through established campus organizations; there was an obvious benefit that could not have been gained at Whitman. We support these funding decisions by ASWC. This responsibility to make sure our student dollars are spent appropriately also lies with us, the students who vote ASWC officials into office. Non-ASWCaffiliated students rarely attend ASWC

meetings, which are open to public participation.

We challenge students to educate themselves on the Travel and Student Development Fund and how ASWC conducts its business. The ASWC Finance Committee, for instance, meets every Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. in Reid 110. The Student Affairs Committee meets every Wednesday at 10:00 p.m. in the ASWC office in Reid 210.

If you are also disheartened by how ASWC officials have appropriated student dollars in ways that only benefit a select group of students, take a stand and sit in on an ASWC Senate meeting, held one Sunday each month in Reid G02.

Student budget requests over 1,000 dollars are discussed and ultimately voted on at these meetings.

ASWC officials have a responsibility to represent the students who do ask for student dollars but also have an equal responsibility to represent those students who do not ask but are ultimately funding these requests.

The students who will be attending Jon Stewart’s rally argued that it was in their civic interest to attend the event.

Although Jon Stewart may have a role to play in American politics, we’d like to view civic responsibility in a more substantial way. Rather than supporting a comedian, we would like to think that civic responsibility begins right here in ASWC.

Backpage

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 OCT 21, 2010

Joketober.

Page 12

four days g n i m a g eek before r than pr e e l w o a o c r o ’s f t ing , W ha ? Pre-gam ted partying, like y t r a p a ar before ckpage st all the crazy stuff a B ! n e e Hallow heck out ShockC . n e o e g a W s k O wle two wee n our Ho i d e R .L . Stin , n y e r p r p o a w h t E on’t tha ration. D ative gourds WER b e l e c r e or tob d and dec the attic. e v l o v n i WAS out of brought

Everyone loves candy corn!

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Candy Corn Nuts Candy Corned Beef Candy Cornell University Candy Corndoleezza Rice Candy Kournikova Candy Korn Candy Baby Bjorn Candy Keystone Candy Porn

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CANEPA

Candy Cornvicts The Backpage was pre-pre-gaming Halloween so hard the other night and ended up at R.L. Stine's house, snooping around his garbage for the SPOOKIEST never-before-seen material to give our readers.We couldn't find any new book material, but we did find these worksheets which seem to be from R.L. Stine's marriage counseling. So, we now present you with an insider glimpse of the man who scared us all through our childhoods!!!

Describe your first date with your partner.

Describe your first date with your partner.

When I met Bob we were in college in New York City and it was the week before Christmas. He told me that he had a very special date planned for us, and I thought maybe we would go ice-skating in Rockefeller Plaza. Instead he drove me to this year-round haunted house in upstate New York, at least three hours away. And the whole drive there, he just made up these stories, about evil dummies and spooky attics, and he was so into it. I thought maybe he was just nervous, and that’s why he was talking SO fast and telling these creepy stories.The haunted house was deserted. We were the only ones there and we had to guide ourselves through. But I remember he loved it. He absolutely loved it.

Well, it was a dark and SPOOOKY night! It was raining, and when we tried to find a place to warm up, we accidentally ended up in a HAUNTED HOUSE!!! There were scary ghosts and monsters all around, but I protected Barbara. I won’t say I wasn't frightened though!!!

What do you appreciate most about your partner?

What do you appreciate most about your partner?

Bob loves to surprise me. But the surprises aren’t really what I would hope for. Mostly he just likes to scare me. Sometimes when I get home from work he has spent all day making himself look like a spooky zombie, and he trashes the house so it looks like he has been looking for brains. He doesn’t break character all night, and the next morning he wakes up like normal and says, “Barbara, what happened?! Looks like something spoooooky was here last night!!” Every Christmas and birthday, he gives me my own Goosebumps story, where I am the main character and I am trying to get away from an evil dummy or some sort of ghoul. Usually it is an evil dummy.

What frustrates you most about your partner?

I feel that he has a hard time taking me seriously. Sex with him is always the same story, every time. He is mainly focused on making things spooky in the bedroom. I have told him so many times that that’s just NOT what I’m into. He likes to bring fake spiders into the bed and make them pretend like they are crawling on me. And while we are making love he shouts things like, “It’s so SPOOOOKY!” and “Is it spoooooooooky for you, Barbara??”

Everyone at the Halloween party will be so impressed by my real chainsaw!

by A DRUNK ASSHAT WEARING KHAKIS AND A TSHIRT REVVING A REAL CHAINSAW Oh man, I'm so excited for this party. I can't believe Jason invited me; I was totally worried that I wouldn't have anything to do this Halloween. It's going to be so fun! I'm going to impress everyone so hard with my costume. Most people who do the "chainsaw killer" costume just half-ass it and use a fake chainsaw or a chainsaw with the blade off, but I'm going all the way this year! I've got a sick Husquevarna all gassed with the chain on and everything! It's going to be so realistic, everybody at the party is going to be so impressed.

I've been practicing putting it close to people's faces on my mannequin at home. I've messed up a few times, but I'm pretty sure if I pull back at just the right second, it’s going to be so awesome! It will scare people for a second I'm sure, but then they'll be all "Oh damn! You really went all the way with your costume," and then we'll become friends and maybe I'll even hook up with a girl. I can't see out of my mask super well, but I'm sure that won't be a problem.

Plus I'm going to have a few beers so my hand will be extra steady when I go in for the face-threatening move. Everyone knows that the entrance is the most important part of making an impression at a party. My plan is to knock on the door, and if no one answers, I'll just tear into it with the chainsaw. Of course I'll pay for it afterwards, but it will be totally worth it because I'm going to make so many new friends with my awesome Halloween costume. This isn't going to be anything like last year when I went as William Tell and just shot arrows at people the entire night. That was a bad idea. I can freely admit that now, but this year is going to be totally different. I hope Julie will be there. She's going to be so disappointed to see how popular I am now with my real chainsaw costume. I'll be all RRRNNNNNN RRNNNNN, and all the girls are going to be like, "Oh you're so funny, most people just came dressed firemen or whatever, but you really went all the way!" and then we'll kiss and make out. Julie is going to be so jealous.

Dude, the cornucopia pre-gamed way too hard.

Barbara is just an overall wonderful ghoul-- I mean, girl! If I were locked in an attic with an evil dummy, which I usually am, she's the one person I'd want with me. Barbara's the light in my jack-o-lantern. One particular special quality of hers is an ability to stay grounded in a spooky situation, when even I might feel a bit frightened!

Ghouls, ghosts, and goblins can't even give her goosebumps. But that's not to say I don't try!

What frustrates you most about your partner?

Barbara is a bit too straight-laced in bed. To be quite honest, she is a prude. Every time I try to initiate sex, she acts so weird. I have told her hundreds of times, sex is supposed to be spooky! The scarier the better! She knows what I like, but it’s like she gets off on being withholding! I try to cover her in a sheet with two little eye holes, you know, like a ghost! But she just gets so angry and won’t let me touch her as long as she is wearing the costume. She is just unreasonable. When she is acting like she wants to get intimate, I quickly pull a spooky mask out of the nightstand and put it on, but then she just gets huffy! God, women can be so moody and irrational!!

B

I

WTF, Mario.

by LUIGI Mario, do you remember three weeks ago ago when you told me Princess Peach had invited us to her Halloween party? And do you also remember that you told me she had said it was going to be a costume party, and that I said we should go as each other, and you told me that was a great idea?

Well appar- ently you don’t because you’re dressed like a pepper shaker. And oh--what a coincidence! Peach is going as a salt shaker! Gee, that’s strange! I wonder if it’s because she texted you two hours before the party so you could go buy a pepper shaker costume at Costume-O-Rama instead of the costume I made for you! And now people think I’m just a weirdo who dresses like his brother for fun. Oh, yeah, Bowser wanted me to tell you he “didn’t know that the super homo bros were identical now.” Real funny, asshole. It took me a whole day to hem the sleeves of my spare outfit so it’d fit you, you short, pudgy jerk. Maybe if you spent your weekends at the gym instead of watching Saved by the Bell marathons and cramming sour cream and onion flavored pork rinds into your mouth I wouldn’t have had to take it in eleven inches. But hey, at least it was worth it, right? Now you can match Princess Bimbo over there, minus the valley of cleavage and the tie-wearing monkey grinding on her. I guess you care more about some royal slutface’s feelings than your own brother’s. Now I just look like a retard in a Mario costume.

Thanks a lot, douchebag.

CANEPA

N Real bear attempting to mate with man in bear costume

Sexy cat

G O Giant punchingbag regretting costume choice

Dave Eggers in giant egg suit

Sexy cat Rivers Cuomo’s ironic facial hair

“Darth Vader” Earnest freshman confused at reaction to Maus costume

Björk

Drunk, bitter Thing 1 with conspicuously absent Thing 2

Borderline racist Barack Obama

Not-as-sexy-asthey-hoped cat

Sullen eighthgraders going as sullen college students

Yoda dry-humping strangers while croaking, “Do you I will”

Johnny Applesemen

Sexy cat!

Asshat with

Blatantly racist

Mortified

Sexy postal

real chainsaw

Barack Obama

Ewoks

worker

Sexy cat