www.mycampus talk .com SEPTEMBER 2013
CAMPUS TALK IS A COLLEGE STUDENT’S BEST FRIEND
Interview w ith Tim Poc ock from NBC’s "CAMP"
Contest Giveaway EC-BC Messenger Bag
Dining
Solutions with Blue Apron
To Skip
or Not to Skip
A Flow Chart to Help You Make the Call A Chat with Actor and Model tend Ex
Guy Nardulli
t ummer us S rj Fo
How 2 Talk
Like a Pirate
u Aq
Spot the Not
A Game of True or False for Urban Legends
er ay
D
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c at do. ils n ta rla De caO i at
h t not a A 0 7.5 $2
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Pick up Lines Edition
Gadgets • Movies • Celebs • Nightlife • Jokes • Tons of funny stuff 1 Totally useless fact: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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BREAKIN’ IT DOWN!
CONTENTS
GOOD
P58
READING
09 Talk Like a Pirate Day
Pick Up Lines 10 Blue Apron 12 Tim Pocock P20 15 Spot the Not: Myths and Legends 18 Elaine Williams 20 Everything Can Become a Tune: An Interview with Quincy Mumford 30 It’s a Mad Grad World 32 A Lesson in Proper Etiquette: The Ritual of Drinking P15
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P12
P84
P30
55 K atie Sackhoff 61 10–4:
From Cop Code to Common Slang 68 The First Date 69 Trial By Jury 82 Occupation: Explorer 84 Guy Nardulli 86 Flicks
CLUB PICS
71–78 Club pics are brought to you by mycampustalk.com
Totally useless fact: Giraffes have no vocal cords.
breakin’ it down!
FOR YOUR
P52
ENTERTAINMENT 14 Frequently Overheard
Phrases of College Students 43 The Magic of Eye-Fi Mobi 48 The Man Test 52 Beauty for the Fall 57 Top 10 Strangest Deaths 58 Gadgets 64 Spot the Difference 66 Sore Thumbs 81 Free Stuff: EC-BC Zeus Messenger Bag Giveaway 90 Cookies of Fortune? 92 The “Can You Skip Class Today” Flow Chart P61
P32
P66
Totally useless fact: Camel’s milk does not curdle.
P10
P92
P68
P48
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WHAT’S on!
Editors ‘
LETTER DUST OFF THE BOOKS With the mad dash of moving trucks behind us, and classes well underway, it’s time to buckle down and focus on the big picture. Although, the day to day can seem mundane at times, it’s important to use this state of monotony as a practice in finding balance. Fitting school, work and the ever-important social existence into each day may seem easy at first, but as the semester wears on, the balancing act can become quite overwhelming.
No need to fret though, because CT has got you covered. This month, CT chats with Tim Pocock from the NBC show, “CAMP.” We also catch up with touring musician Quincy Mumford and former football player, actor and
model Guy Nardulli. We’ve thrown in some tips on pick up lines for International Pirate Day, what phrases not to use while you’re in college and even a new contest to win a free EC-BC Messenger Bag. There are also plenty of tips, games, jokes and more to distract you from your studies. Despite what your parents might have told you, it’s equally important to have your head out of the books, as it is to have it in them. So set multiple alarms, because you’re going to need every ring, buzz and drum if you want to make that 8 a.m. class after being up all night partying!
Daniel Sutphin
If you have any comments you’d like to share with CT, send them in to mail@mycampustalk.com and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win prizes!! You may only be entered once, so don’t send us 50 comments thinking you’ll enhance your chances of winning! Employees of Campus Talk magazine, their relatives, their twins from alternate universes and their healthcare providers are prohibited from entering this drawing. Everyone else is eligible to participate… except for pandas. No pandas allowed.
Editor-IN-CHIEF
Lauren Douglass
CONTENT EDITOR
LAUREN Michelle KOLANSKY
art director
DANIEL TIDBURY
Graphic Design
DANIEL TIDBURY LISA TORRES JANE DOMINGUEZ
staff writers
Brian hodges JOHN SCHECK
Contributing Writers
Marc Douglass kelly herman Evan Gerstel bella fountain David Wyett Cari Cooney Frank the cab driver julia fleming jake craney chris humpherys Chris Jenkins LAUREN Michelle KOLANSKY DANIEL SUTPHIN Kelly Herman
FASHIon FEATURES
Lauren-Michelle KolanskY Emily Alter
SPeCIAL PROJECTS
LAUREN Michelle KOLANSKY Daniel sutphin hilah driggers
nightlife Paparazzi
Jason Frankenfield
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Amanda LILES karen jones AnnMarie DeFeo
director of advertising
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Legal Counsel
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Campus Talk is a humor magazine dedicated to relieving students of the pressures of everyday college life. Among essay exams, crowded classrooms, boring professors and messy roommates, Campus Talk offers a welcome diversion for those students “just trying to get away from it all.” Different viewpoints may grace our pages but may not all represent the opinions of Campus Talk Magazine or its staff. Campus Talk should not be read by anyone suffering from heart ailments, unfunny syndrome or halitosis. All images depicted are purely coincidental. Copyright 2009. All rights reserved, What’s Happening Publications, Inc.
Totally useless fact: Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.
SHIVER ME TIMBERS!
Day irate P a e k i Talk L
Pickup Lines Don’t deny it, talking like a pirate is awesome. So in lieu of International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19th, we’ve pulled together the best pirate-themed pick-up lines so you don’t look foolish on such a sacred holiday.
Aye, I guarantee ye, I’ve had a twenty percent decrease in me “lice ratio!”
Let’s get together and haul some keel.
Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs! That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
Well blow me down!
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
Totally useless fact: A group of whales is called a pod.
Come on up and see me urchins.
Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?
So, tell me, why do they call ye, “Cap’n Feathersword?”
Let’s get together and haul some keel.
That’s quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
C’mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
Prepare to be boarded.
RAMMING SPEED!
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
Is that a belayin’ pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
What ARRR ye doing here?
I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
Let yer britches hit the deck!
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
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Yummy!
Blue By Michelle Vail
Apron Cooking and eating at home has taken on a new meaning with the very inventive and delicious BlueApron.com. This grocery delivery service comes fully stocked with custom recipes and all of the pre-portioned ingredients you will need to make three very yummy meals. A box will arrive on the day you specify with said ingredients and recipe cards. You then assemble the dishes that are designed to be 35 minute preparations.
I’ve heard a lot of good recommendations about this program, so I decided to give it a try. My delivery is waiting for me at my door when I get home. I tear open the box in a hurry. My boyfriend looks at me like I’ve lost my mind for getting this excited over a box of food. But with ingredients like Watercress, Bok Choy, Belgian Endive, and Korean Chile Paste, I am so excited to see what new things I am about to learn and make. The recipes I receive are Salmon Burgers with a Basil Corn on the Cob, Beef Bibimbap and Chicken Paillards with Endive and Haricots Verts. I’ve never tried a salmon burger, so I give that one a try first – if I can get my boyfriend to eat salmon, it’s worth it for that reason alone. I start to prepare the dish. I am not crazy about 10
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smashing and mixing up the salmon, but it was well worth it. Staying true to the Blue Apron claim, it takes just under 40 minutes as I finish up and assemble the burgers. We are so hungry, we just start eating right there in the middle of the kitchen. I’m a little worried if we’re going to like it, but when we take that first bite, we look at each other and say, “Ok – wow! That’s really good!” I eat salmon once a week, so I am no stranger to the taste, but I don’t think I would ever order a salmon burger at a restaurant: it just doesn’t sound that appealing to me. However, this is exactly what Blue Apron is all about. It provides ingredients that you wouldn’t normally use and expands your cooking knowledge. In fact, the reason it’s called Blue Apron is because in the culinary
industry a blue apron represents a lifelong learning in cooking. Over the next few days, I try the other two recipes and am just as happy as I was with the first. The recipe cards are easy to follow, have great pictures and give detailed directions. You really do get the benefit of learning while you are eating really good food. Since the box was delivered with premeasured ingredients and easy-to-follow recipes, it took the stress out of cooking. It eliminated recipe research, the quest for unique ingredients and the worry that your dish wouldn’t taste good.
You can customize each box depending on your preferences Select vegetarian or meat, and how many people will be eating. At $10 a day per person, and between 500–700 calories, this would be a perfect gift for a college student, for two roommates to split or even for singles. In addition, you can put the program on hold if you’re ever away or decide to take a break. I just love how good this tasted and how relatively easy it was. To learn more or to sign up for the program, visit Blue Apron.com.
Totally useless fact: Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
oooh, nasty!
irty? d e r a s e t a roomm photos. r u o y k in h T ut these ur
Check eoto send us picturees toof yo
Feel fre ment or roommat ’d love to nasty aparytca mpustalk.com, wlde for you. mail@m em off to the wor show th
Need a new apartment or roommate, go to www.collegerentals.com.
Totally useless fact: In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
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HEADING BACK TO CAMP
Tim Pocock Interview by Lauren Douglass
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From sci-fi to action to comedy, Tim Pocock does it all. The Australian actor is here to discuss his love for diverse roles, to share some personal stories from X-Men and Forbidden Ground, and to talk about his experience on NBC’s new summer dramedy “CAMP”.
Totally useless fact: The “L. L.” in L. L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood.
HEADING BACK TO CAMP Tell me about your career. Was it difficult to switch from theatre to the big screen? I started acting when I was 10. I mostly did musical theater and opera, which are broad and melodramatic performance types. When I turned 15, I took time off to finish school, though I knew I wanted a career on screen. At the end of the day, regardless of whether you’re performing on stage or for the camera, acting is about truth and honesty. If you’re able to find those elements, your performance will be watchable. You played Scott Summers in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Tell me about that experience – sci-fi is definitely different than theater! My role in X-Men came completely out of left field, it seemed. It was my first real acting job on camera; I don’t think anyone would predict that their first role would be a superhero in an action film! I felt like I was living someone else’s life; it was an incredible experience. I got to
work with Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber and Danny Huston, all of whom were idols of mine. It’s an experience I’ll always cherish. What was the most difficult part of that role? The stunts. Action wasn’t something that I had experience in, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to deliver. In the end, I really enjoyed all the action, as tiring as it was. Now you’ve got Forbidden Ground under your belt, too. Tell me a little about that. Forbidden Ground is about three soldiers who get stranded in the middle of no-mans-land after a failed charge at enemy lines. The whole film happens over the course of one night, and it’s a really tense, edge-of-your-seat story. My character, Private O’leary, is much younger and more inexperienced than the other two soldiers, which makes him more of a burden than a help. It was a really different role, but I loved the opportunity.
What kind of audience would it appeal to? It’s a war film, so people who are into high-stakes and action will definitely love it. It’s also incredibly character driven, and there’s a great dynamic between the three soldiers. The film also deals with our human survival instinct. Each of the characters questions what makes them so intent on surviving, which brings a real emotional depth to the film. I think lots of people will really enjoy it! Your new series “CAMP” is just coming out. Tell me about your experience with it. My character is the most similar character that I’ve ever played to myself. In some ways that was difficult because I couldn’t hide behind a mask, but I love the challenge. I’ve never done a comedy before, so this is really new territory for me. Also, the pace of the show is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It’s been really interesting exploring and discovering all of it.
You co-star with Rachel Griffiths – and you’re both from Australia! How is working alongside her? Rachel is a legend and a trail blazer. I’ve followed her career for decades and sat at home rooting for her at the Emmy’s, the Golden Globes, the Oscars, etcetera. It’s really quite beautiful that I now get to work with her every day and share the screen with her. What can the audience expect from the series? If I were to describe the show in two words, they’d be charming and fun. There’s no doubt this show will put a smile on people’s faces. The characters are infectious and extremely lovable, and when you combine that with the nostalgic element of summer camp, which is such an American rite of passage, there’s no way it won’t warm your heart. Each episode is high-energy with some really odd-ball comedy moments, but they’re also so full of heart. I really believe people will fall in love with it.
Be sure to check out Tim Pocock on NBC’s “CAMP”, out now!
Totally useless fact: The Sanskrit word for “war” means “desire for more cows.”
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say what? by john scheck
Frequently
Overheard
Phrases of College
Students
College students are all different. Some have tattoos of suns while others have permanent depictions of dolphins on their hides. Some wear their ball caps pointing to the rear while other nonconformists have the bill cocked slightly off-center. However, what you overhear them saying is pretty much the same thing, year after year.
I thought penicillin was supposed to cure every damn thing. What color is supposed to make people look less fat?
A “C” is the new “B” and an “A” is just showing off. campus talk
Can you spell that? (When asked at a police checkpoint to recite the alphabet backwards)
Is prison food better than dorm food?
I’m starving.
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I’ll just cram the night before the test; I’m going out tonight.
Don’t I get one phone call?
Do you think back they’ll bring n o debtor’s pris oan for student l deadbeats?
I should clean up around this shit hole. Totally useless fact: If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die, because they need gravity to swallow.
true or false!
& S H T MY S D N E G E L
l Sutphin By Danie
Them d n i h e B ) s e tory(Li y urban legends S e h t d n a ends Similar can be said of the maWnhile some start as fact, mostugh g e L n a b r U t! thro ities. s Spot the Noord of mouth. Despite its swiniftngess, it’ that circulatedcoomr dmowunnright false over thenydeathrseawndorld. transferr ls fast by w method of News trave te ra us in u c c a st revealed to e mo e th m s a y a g ” e lw a n t o no “Teleph art of a line . Just as the ed at the st id v ro p information n o ati end. reaches its it ol, the inform o e h m sc ti e e d th ra g nge by sure to cha of people is
e ons arou turn distort gossip-glutt e th ll a f o the sneers
true! s i d n e g e l which s s e u g n a c See if you
COLLEGE MYTHS!
Over a holiday break, two roommates rema ined in their deserted dormitory. One night, one of the girls goes out on a date and the other decides to call it an early night, going to bed before her roommate returns. Later that night, the sleep ing girl wakes to
On a popular television talk show, a psychic predicted that a mass murder would take place on Halloween at a College Campus.
hear gurgling and scratching noises comin g from outside the hallway door. Frightened, she locks the door and hides in the room until morning. When the girl opens the door the next morning, she finds her roommate’s bloody corpse in the hall with her throat slit; she had bled to death while clawing at the door.
ying, a college After a night of part
tached to eys. He now must be at
th of his kidn
thieves had stolen bo
nd organ
student awoke to fi
a ma
d.
nor match can be foun
alive until a do chine that keeps him
A medical school stu dent preps to work on a cadaver during an anatomy lab. They pull back the she et to discover that their assigned subjec t for dissection is the body of his relati ve.
Totally useless fact: A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein.
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true or false!
MYTHSLED&! A E V E R LEGENDS THE By Daniel Sutphin
T RUTH EXPOSED!
actually happened. The relative cadaver
to centuries, according this has circulated for While the legend of red cur an”, it actually oc s “The Choking Doberm nd’ nva Bru d rol Ha Jan re, ool of Medicine. The iversity of Alabama Sch in early 1982 at the Un was ss cla avers assigned to the t one of the nine cad tha ed ver co dis r, nt a stude assigned the cadave she was not actually ile Wh t. aun at gre the body of her for t a different subject board immediately sen l ica tom ana te sta the at aunt had discussed student and her gre the lly, nta ide inc Co . substitution medical science. ting one’s body to the merits of contribu en a parent. cadaver relative is oft In other variations: A or famous person. The cadaver is a friend
udent” st e g e ll o “c e Th : ft e Kidney Th ternet In e th n o n a g be n o si ver never true. in May 1996, yet was
Roommate’s D eath:
The story first ap peared in the early 1960 s. It is suggested that like the Campus Halloween story, this began circul ating due to relaxed restricti ons of dorm life and colleges’ less -active roles in students’ personal lives.
FALSE STOR I LIVE ON IN ES GOSSIP GLO RY
st in 1968, possibly inspired Halloween on Campus: The story’s first known appearance was in the Midwe house a few years earlier. In a by Richard Speck’s attack, murdering nine nurses in a Chicago rooming of rumors with the darkening collection of campus lore, folklorist Simon Bronner said, “The coincidence students away from the haven fall season, the mistrust of the security of institutional life especially for feeds the rumors.” of home and the setting of many campuses in isolated arcadias undoubtedly 16
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Totally useless fact: A group of jellyfish is a smack.
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high on laughter
Comedic motivational speaker Elaine Williams has a message to share: the way to your heart is not through your stomach, and happiness is not found in a bottle. Williams is here to discuss eating disorders and addiction from her own perspective, and to talk about the emotional journey that inspired her to help heal the world.
Elaine
Williams Interview by Lauren Douglass
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What is the number one thing most people don’t understand about having an eating disorder? I have a joke: Giving up cocaine and vodka, that’s easy, just stop dating your dealer and bartender. With food, however, it’s another story. You’re dancing with the devil every single day. Eating is tricky because it’s THE most encouraged addiction in the US. It’s how we deal with our lives, our stress, our emotions and our schedules. At the same time, we are bombarded with photo-shopped, unrealistic ads and pictures that tell us we’re bad if we don’t look perfect. No wonder we’re confused and overwhelmed; it really does affect our self-esteem. For college students who have an eating disorder or addiction, how many deny it? Statistically, one out of every five students develop an eating disorder in their freshman year. It’s a slow, insidious issue that can creep up on them, so it’s easy to deny it. Food is often the one thing a student feels like he or she can control.
Totally useless fact: A group of chickens is a peep.
high on laughter What problems do these things cause for students? Any kind of obsession is a challenge. When a student is obsessed with food, drugs or alcohol, there’s hardly any chance to connect with other human beings. It’s a very lonely and isolated experience. Your whole world revolves around your next binge or recovering from your last purge, or hiding the evidence from your roommate. Then, there’s the physical aspect. For me, I used laxatives and drugs, and now I have acid reflux that will affect me for the rest of my life. I have to be careful with what I eat and drink. It ruined my singing voice. Do you think there’s a stigma that goes along with seeking help? Yes, and I am out to change that stigma. The good news is that it’s changing a bit. In the 60s, people didn’t say the word “pregnant” because it implied that someone had sex. Now we show birth right on TV. It’s become almost cool to go to rehab, and most people know about AA. We have to make it safe for people to talk about what’s really going on so that they can get help. Do you think people gain confidence when they can be open with their issues or experiences? Absolutely. When I first started talking about being sexually assaulted, I was amazed at how many other people spoke up as well. They confided in me that they, too, had been molested or had weird sexual encounters as children. This same secretive shame is driving our addictive society. Can you tell us a little about your own struggles? How long do you have? Kidding! I am still learning about addiction and my journey; it’s such a process. My earliest childhood memory is that my dad was leaving for work and something was wrong. I feel like I grew up with a huge, empty hole that I wasn’t able to understand, but I began trying to fill it from a very early age. I was put on a diet in first grade, even though I was never fat, which is why I think my
first addiction was food. When my parents got divorced, I thought it was my fault. My father remarried my stepmother who was a raging, undiagnosed bipolar addict and alcoholic. She hated me. My mother felt threatened by me. Naturally, I turned to applause, then food, then sex, drugs and alcohol to try and heal myself. You’re now a comedic motivational speaker. What affect does comedy have on people? Comedy is a natural high. It brings people together, it’s healing and it raises the serotonin levels in your brain. It makes it easier to get the listeners involved. Laughter breaks down the walls and reminds us that we are all pretty alike inside. What would you tell someone with an eating disorder or addiction who doesn’t think they can get better? It gets better. If you have the tiniest seed of willingness, that’s all you need. You just have to take that first tiny step. For some of us, it’s one day at a time. What are your goals for the future? I want to continue speaking about addiction and healing all over the world. I want to have an international comedy career, on TV and in film. I’d also love to start a foundation for the arts, addiction awareness and kids at risk. I believe that if we give “at risk or under-served” kids a place that is safe, with positive role models and a chance to be creative, they would create amazing art and be too inspired to even think about drugs. We need to come together and support what is going on in this country. We have single parents with little or no support raising kids. We have more and more mental illnesses that are “leaking out.” We have sexual assault daily in the military, churches and schools. The more we can educate, raise awareness and heal, the more we can all reach our greatest potential.
Happiness is not real
unless it is shared.
Totally useless fact: A baby eel is called an elver.
Get Your “Wag on” and Get it Clean!
5th Annual Saturday September 14 11am - 2pm
Haile Plantation Animal Clinic 5231 SW 91st Drive 352-377-6003
A Family Fun Event: Car and Dog Washes Pet Expo
www.HailesAngels.org
free microchips
with one-time registration purchase
Pet Related Gift Booths Chance Drawings
A Fundraiser for Haile’s Angels Pet Rescue! campus talk
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charted
WHEN I APPRECIATE SCENERY MOST
WHY MY GRADES AREN’T GOOD
I’VE GOT 100% SYNCHRONIZATION IN ASSASSIN’S CREED
IN ACTUAL PLACES
I’M TOO BUSY HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS
ON VIDEO GAMES
THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK
I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE MATERIAL
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Totally useless fact: A group of ravens is called an unkindness. A group of crows is a murder.
Descend into madness as the biggest names in horror transform Universal Studios® into your worst nightmares. From Evil Dead to AMC’s The Walking Dead, The Cabin in the Woods and more, there’s nowhere to hide. Fight for your life through eight terrifying haunted houses, a brand-new The Walking Dead street experience, and outrageous live shows—only at Halloween Horror Nights.
WARNING! EVENT MAY BE TOO INTENSE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN AND IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 13. NO COSTUMES OR MASKS ALLOWED. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, must be Florida Resident, aged 18 years or older. Sweepstakes begins 9/1/13 and ends at 5 p.m. (EST) on 10/15/13. Void where prohibited. Restrictions apply. The Sponsor: Campus Talk. Separately ticketed event. Event occurs rain or shine. No rain checks, returns or refunds. Prices, dates, times, attractions and entertainment subject to availability and may change without notice. Additional restrictions may apply. Evil Dead: Available on Blu-ray and DVD. © 2013 Evil Dead, LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Walking Dead © 2013 AMC Film Holdings LLC. All rights reserved.TM & © 2013 Lions Gate Entertainment, Inc. Universal elements and all related indicia TM & © 2013 Universal Studios. © 2013 Universal Orlando. All rights reserved. 257457/0813/JC
FEEL GOOD MUSIC
By Daniel Sutphin
Everything Can Become a Tune An Interview with Quincy Mumford
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Totally useless fact: A baby oyster is called a spat.
FEEL GOOD MUSIC Blending emotions and a mix of rock, soul, jazz, funk and hip-hop, Quincy Mumford & The Reason Why wrapped their east coast tour recently in New Jersey. Along the way, he stopped through Gainesville, FL in August, performing at THE JAM. With over 400-plus shows under his belt and the release of his fifth studio album, “It’s Only Change”, the 21-year-old’s love of writing music drives his focus and progression in the often-murky music industry. While in Gainesville, CT caught up with Mumford to discuss his “feel good music,” his experiences and his future.
You’ve shared the stage with some pretty massive touring bands. Of those, which do you think was your favorite experience and why? I would have to say our tour with Slightly Stoopid and Tribal Seeds a couple months back. Those guys took us in as family and really treated us right. That tour did not feel like reality, it was amazing from the brotherhood, to the sold out shows, to the big stages, to the four-star hotel rooms … amazing!! Do you like playing the bigger venues or the more intimate ones? For example, your show at THE JAM in Gainesville, the venue is smaller and much more of a personal setting for musicians. I like them both, but the problem with bigger venues is that you lose the connection a little bit to the audience by being so far away. When you play smaller venues, you can all feel like you’re in a living room together, and there can be a beautiful connection there that you cannot get in a big venue. You seem to be doing well currently along the jam-band circuit, do you hope to expand beyond that? Of course, I will always keep pushing and trying to take this project to the next step. What’s in the future for you? Our new album is out! So... lots of touring, new videos, new jams, new everything! Come check us out live to feel the real vibe!
What are your major influences? At the moment, Ryan Montbleau, John Legend, Soulive, Lettuce and Paul Simon.
You can stream Quincy Mumford & The Reason Why’s new album at www.quincymumford.com, as well as check out his other albums, videos and info.
My music is a mix between singer songwriter, soul, reggae, rock R&B, and Funk. I don’t really know how to describe it, but if we had to call it something, I would say, “feel good music.” What do you find for inspiration? I find inspiration from everywhere and everything. It all depends on what I come across at that time, whether it’s people, experiences or love; it’s all inspiration to me, and everything can become a tune. Do you have a particular writing process? It usually starts with a chord progression, moves to a melody and becomes complete with lyrics. Lately, I have been switching it up. I have been getting a ton of ideas in my head, just humming melodies, and creating music later, and even writing down lyrics first and creating a song around that. How old were you when you started writing music? When you first started performing? I started playing guitar when I was 9 and began writing and singing when I was about 13 years old. I started showing up at open mic’s when I was 15. It was kind of funny because I was playing a lot of bars that I normally could never get into. When I was 16 I put out my first album.
To have five albums under your belt by the time you are 21 is impressive, what’s been the drive to do so much? I just love writing music, and each song just gets better and better as you continue to perfect your craft. That’s why I have so many albums (laughs). Besides that, I love what I do and never want to stop; music is the most amazing thing in my life and I could never live with out it. How tough was it in the beginning? Did you receive a lot of support from family? It’s tough all the time! [laughs] For every one step you take forward, there are another three that set you back, but that’s ok, you just have to keep on keepin’ on. My family is extremely supportive. My father manages me part-time, my mother helps organize my finances and makes sure we don’t starve on tour, and my brother shoots all of my promo and music videos. I love my fam!
Totally useless fact: There are only thirteen blimps in the world. Nine of them are in the United States.
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Totally useless fact: A whale’s penis is called a dork, but is generally applied to all males.
play with yourself
R E B M E T P E S GO FIGURE
CROS SWORD
SN OW FL AK ES
C RYPTO QUIP{
SUDOKU
Totally useless fact: Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
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rs are answe page 79 on
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C RYP UOTE TO Q
even star map
hocus focus
exc hange
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bridge hands
play with yourself
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Totally useless fact: Murphy’s Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.
you sooooo cheated
R E B M E SEPT
WORD HUNT!
! t o n k fear
MEGA MAZE where’s frank?
Totally useless fact: February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
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tic tac toe!
Use this space for TIC TAC TOE, or anything else you can think of to spare the borEdom of class!
Events in Gainesville
Get Out and About!
Aug 30: Don’t Dress for Dinner opens Hippodrome Theatre Downtown Aug 31: Surfing Florida: A Photographic History Florida Museum of Natural History Sept 6: First Friday: Blues, Booze & BBQ Downtown Gainesville Sept 12: Bela Fleck and Del McCoury Band Phillips Center for Performing Arts Sept 20: Get Your Gator On! United Downtown Downtown Gainesville Sept 28: 12th Annual Latino Festival Downtown Gainesville
Summer is an exciting time to be in Gainesville. Between exhibits, concerts and floating in refreshing springs and rivers, there’s always something to do. So take a break from campus and get out and about in Gainesville. For more information and a complete listing of events visit our website.
www.visitgainesville.com 352.374.5260
VisitGainesvilleFlorida 28
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@ Gainesville
Totally useless fact: The volume of the Earth’s moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.
hahahaha
Remember
send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” The father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
Q: What is a tree’s favorite drink? A: Root beer!
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office? A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps! Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer. Q: Why did God create men before women? A: Because you always need a ROUGH draft before you can create perfection. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals.”
If it’s true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at their daughter’s wedding.
A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. His partner says, “What’s taking so long?” The first guy says, “My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I want to make a perfect shot.” His partner says, “Forget it… you’ll never hit her from here.” A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. They found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute player was put into the game and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, “Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.” His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest way I ever heard of for a boy to propose to a girl. But, regardless of how you said it, I accept!”
Totally useless fact: It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound.
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show your true value
It’s a Mad Grad World By Coach Micheal J. Burt and Colby B. Jubenville
10
Tips
to Help Graduates Survive (and Thrive!) in the Job Market Jungle.
You are about to graduate from college, congratulations! Take a few moments to admire your diploma and pat yourself on the back…and then get ready to attach your nose firmly to the grindstone (again). Graduates are facing one of the worst job markets in recent memory. In 2012, about 1.5 million bachelor’s degree holders under the age of 25 (that’s 53.6 percent) were unemployed or underemployed, and the trend isn’t on track to change this year, either. In today’s economy, companies need to know that you’ll add remarkable value instead of being a drain on the payroll. You have to show and tell potential employers how you’ll bring unique and immediate value to the table. In our new book, Zebras & Cheetahs: Look Different and Stay Agile to Survive the Business Jungle, we explain exactly what it takes for employees (and specifically, leaders) to survive and thrive in the fast-paced, always-changing and highly competitive business world. Here, we share 10 tips that will help you to show your value so that you can get – and keep – a job in the chaos of the concrete jungle. 30
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The hiring landscape facing recent college grads is inhospitable, to say the least. Here, we share 10 tactics to help graduates create a best-odds scenario for acing interviews and landing a job.
Respond quickly With such a high unemployment rate for college graduates, most jobs won’t stay on the market very long after being posted. Responding quickly to a job posting will express to the company that you are eager for that particular job. Show up in person (and early) when you can Now that you’ve secured an interview, don’t screw it up by being late. Arriving at your interview with plenty of time to spare is just good common sense, but most importantly, it’s the first in-person opportunity you have to show your potential employer that you’re hungry, committed and motivated. Differentiate yourself This is arguably the most important thing to bring to the job interview table: a clear answer to the question “What makes you different?” While it may sound cliché, a big part of differentiating yourself is simply allowing your personality, interests, values and quirks to flavor the interview. After all, employers aren’t just hiring your skill set; they’re hiring you.
Learn to leverage your past Whether you’ve made poor choices in the past or have dealt with an unforeseen obstacle, employers want to know that you can clear hurdles and reinvent yourself when circumstances call for it. It might help to think about your life backwards: Where are you today and how did you get there, what were the major turning points or challenges? You didn’t earn that degree without putting in your share of metaphorical blood, sweat and tears! Showcase your innovation Innovative thinking is going to instantly increase your value to a company that is trying to move forward. Make sure to weave examples of how you’ve thought beyond established boundaries and actively sought efficient new solutions to problems into your interview answers. Let them know you play well with others Nobody is looking to hire a hotshot employee who’s in it for individual glory. During your interview, highlight your role in past group projects when the opportunity arises. You should make sure you leave the interviewer with the distinct impression that you are both a people person and a team player.
Totally useless fact: “Mr. Mojo Risin” is an anagram for Jim Morrison.
show your true value Solve their problems All companies want you to be able to do at least one of three things: make the company money, save the company money and/or solve major problems. Before you go into the interview, think about specific ways in which you can tie your skills and accomplishments to achieving one of those three outcomes. Be coachable Many interviewers will purposefully try to ask you difficult questions or knock you a bit off-balance just to see how you handle yourself. If this happens, don’t react defensively or become argumentative. Instead, show that you are flexible and willing to admit when you are wrong or when you don’t know an answer. Remain calm and express an interest in learning more. Hit the ground running As we have pointed out already, companies want to know that you’ll add immediate value if
you’re hired. That’s why it’s important for you to come to the interview not only with general ideas as to how you’d be an asset, but with at least one specific action plan for how you’d like to hit the ground running. Show your agility Agility in the workplace also means that you’re a quick learner, not just a quick doer. This is definitely something you want to get across to the employer. Try to remember what he or she says earlier in the interview so that you can tie later answers and conversations back to it. Be persistent If you get a job offer after your first interview – and it’s a position you’re excited about accepting – you’re one of the very lucky few. Odds are, you’ll have to fill out many applications and go to numerous interviews before you reach gainfully employed status. That’s okay! Keep putting these strategies into practice, and sooner or later, you’ll hear those magic words: “You’re hired.”
About the Authors
Coach Micheal Burt is the coauthor of Zebras & Cheetahs: Look Different and Stay Agile to Survive the Business Jungle. He represents the new age leader: the Zebra and the Cheetah. Part coach, part entrepreneur, and all leader, Coach Burt is the go-to guy for entrepreneurs who want to become people of interest, salespeople who want to be superstars, and managers who want to be coaches. He is a former championship coach and the author of eight books. His radio show, Change Your Life Radio, can be heard globally on iheart.com (WLAC). Follow Coach Burt at www.coachburt.com. Colby B. Jubenville, PhD, is the coauthor of Zebras & Cheetahs: Look Different and Stay Agile to Survive the Business Jungle. He holds an academic appointment at Middle Tennessee State University and is principal of Red Herring Innovation and Design (www. redherringinc.com), an agency specializing in teaching people and organizations how to compete on unique perspective, education and experience, in order to create unique value. He regularly speaks on his philosophy, Collective Passion, a model that illustrates how to meaningfully connect organizations, customers, and employees.
Zebras & Cheetahs: Look Different and Stay Agile to Survive the Business Jungle is available at bookstores nationwide.
Totally useless fact: Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
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in love with libations
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Totally useless fact: There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
in love with libations
A Lesson in Proper Etiquette:
Drinking
The Ritual of
by daniel sutphin | illusttrations by jane dominguez
One summer while digging through my parents’ bookshelves, I found an old, faded green and black book. Dusting it off, I discovered it to be a book on proper etiquette from the 1950s. Flipping through the pages, the book excruciatingly details a variety of scenarios and the proper (W.A.S.P)etiquette that coincides. And, while the book is dreadfully boring upon first glance (as expected), the change in such practices over the decades is appallingly funny considering society’s outlook on etiquette today (as if there is any really).
So for the sake of a bit of culture shock, before throwing your next deluge of drunkenness you call a house party,consider these notes cited from from Amy Vanderbilts’ take on the “Ritual of Drinking” in her 1952 edition of “Amy Vanderbilts Complete Book of Etiquette.”
Totally useless fact: Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
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in love with libations
what kind of drinks
for guests You make no mistake when you choose one of the following cocktails to serve before a dinner party – martini, Bacardi, or daiquiri (especially in summer) whiskey sours (good any time and well-liked by both sexes), manhattans and old fashioneds (with a minimum of garnish for male tastes).
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The safest choice is martinis, which have the virtue of being relatively inexpensive, more or less foolproof as to concoction, and mixable well in advance.
A prominently placed home bar, with the makings of a wide variety of drinks on demand and a host who can oblige, takes away the emphasis on dinner and puts it untastefully on what should be only an incidental procedure. Only at a really large party should more than one kind of cocktail be served at home, and then the host is usually not acting as bartender.
Generally, gin and rum cocktails are preferred in hot weather to whisky cocktails. Eggnog is a cold weather specialty and is not served before dinner. It is an afternoon drink, always served with fruitcake and sweet biscuits, usually on New Year’s Day.
Totally useless fact: Roger Ebert is the only film critic to have ever won the Pulitzer prize.
in love with libations
nothing is so horrid as a martini with too much “ vermouth or an old-fashioned with too much bitters.” Fancy mixed drinks are usually frowned on by men, though beloved of some women who like to order them in restaurants. But the standard cocktails are the wisest choice – and don’t let the person who mixes them do so without following an exact formula. Nothing is so horrid as a martini with too much vermouth or an oldfashioned with too much bitters. A Barcardi or daiquiri that is sickish-sweet will kill appetites for the best conceived dinner.
Rum-and-Cola, tom collins, punch (milk punch perhaps excepted), bishop, bowles, swizzles, juleps, spiced wines are afternoon or evening libations, not appetizers before dinner. Stingers are served liqueur-fashion as a digestive after dinner.
Martinis should always be dry, never sweet. It should have a twist of lemon peel in the container in which the martini is stirred, or the peel may be twisted over each glass so a bit of oil drops in. Some experts insist that the ingredients be stirred all in one direction with the cracked ice – never shaken.
Having to remember all this just to have a few drinks at a party is exhausting. Think of that the next time you’re concerned about coughing up 60 bucks for a keg. Although, having an old-fashioned cocktail party sounds way more fun than your run-of-the-mill kegger.
Mix only one kind of cocktail and offer, in addition, sherry, and scotch or bourbon or rye and soda – with vegetable fruit juice for possible teetotalers (those who abstain from alcohol).
Five Reasons for Drinking If all be true that I do think,
There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine - a friend - or being dry Or lest we should be, by and by Or any other reason why! -Henry Aldrich, c. 1700
In next month’s issue 1950s advice on courtship … I mean dating.
Totally useless fact: An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes
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EXPIRES: 01/15/14
(TAKE OUT ONLY. NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER COUPON, OFFER, OR DISCOUNT. PLEASE MENTION COUPON WHEN ORDERING.)
www.gatorbucks.com
ANY PURCHASE OF $10 OR MORE
$2 OFF
Minimum $10 merchandise or 8 gallons of gasoline. Not Valid on Lottery, money orders, bill pay
EXPIRES 01/15/14
mirakujapenesesteakhouse.com
4005 SW 40TH BLVD. 352-336-3188
CLOSED MONDAYS
SUNDAY–THURSDAY: 4PM–10PM FRIDAY–SATURDAY: 4PM–11PM
Dinner:
FREE ENTREE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Miraku Japanese Steakhouse
Located at 34th Street and W. University Ave. Stop by Paradise for all your needs.
COLD BEER s CIGARETTES s SNACKS s ICE www.gatorbucks.com
Miraku
a leader in Teppanyaki
$5 OFF
EXPIRES: 01/15/14
any purchase of $25 or more www.gatorbucks.com
Reitz Union ground floor 352-392-1637 www.union.ufl.edu/games
Rattlesnake bites or Cheese Fries
WITH PURCHASE OF ANY ENTREE. DINE IN, MON–THURS ONLY. NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFERS. 1 PER TABLE PER VISIT PLEASE. EXPIRES 01/15/14
=VcY
2800 SW 2nd Avenue Gainesville, FL 32607 AT THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA
MARK BOSTICK GOLF COURSE
OPEN LATE GREAT FOOD MADE FRESH DELIVERED FAST
GAINESVILLE FL 3857 SW ARCHER RD
WINGHOUSE.COM
352.372.9464
www.gatorbucks.com
EXP 01/15/14
&2%% MUST PRESENT COUPON AT TIME OF PURCHASE. LIMIT ONE (1) COUPON PER PERSON PER VISIT.
'%4 /.% "!'
BUY ONE BAG OF RANGE BALLS, www.gatorbucks.com
2800 SW 2nd Avenue Gainesville, FL 32607 AT THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA
MARK BOSTICK GOLF COURSE
TerrysAutoService.com
go online for even more coupons CANNOT USE WITH ANY OTHER COUPON. MONDAYS ONLY.
EXPIRES: 1/15/14
REGULAR PRICE OF OIL CHANGE
OFF www.gatorbucks.com
DELIVERY ALL DAY AND NIGHT
1/2 OFF BURGER BASKET
1/2 LB
MONDAY
BURGURMANIA Order Online at wingzone.com ENTIRE PURCHASE
15% OFF
/.% #/50/. 0%2 #534/-%2 s ./4 6!,)$ 7)4( !.9 /4(%2 #/50/. /2 /&&%2 EXPIRES: 1/15/14
923 West University Ave. 352.377.2473 Delivering the best wings in Gainesville since 1991
www.gatorbucks.com
DEALS FOR GREAT
SCAN ME
NOT REDEEMABLE FOR CASH, CANNOT BE USED WITH ANY OTHER OFFERS. MUST BE PRESENTED PRIOR TO SERVICE. EXP 01/15/14
NOW SERVING WINGSTREET!
Oaks Mall & Tower Rd. 332-0032 13th Street & Downtown 338-1776 order online: www.pizzahut.com
Northwest & Midtown: 373-7733 On Campus & Archer Rd. 374-4440
Corner of Univ Ave & 34th St, 3425 W University Ave 377-7666
CUT ST E A K S
.com
923 W University Ave
FEATURE 352.377.2473
6501 SW Archer Rd.
377-2886
r Brakes r A/C Repair r r Tune-Ups r Tires r r Alternators r CV Axles r r & much, much more! r
go online for even more coupons
TerrysAutoService.com
3830 SW Archer Rd (352) 377-2820
Fall
(352) 338-1068 WWW.SUSHI-2-GO.COM
FREE 3830 SW Archer Rd (352) 377-2820
www.gatorbucks.com
DC:
;G::
W/COUPON. ONE COUPON PER CUSTOMER
ONE COUPON PER PERSON PER VISIT
Reitz Union ground floor 352-392-1637 www.union.ufl.edu/games
WHEN YOU ORDER ANY SUSHI ROLL AND A SMALL FOUNTAIN SODA
EXPIRES: 01/15/14
<6B: D; 7DLA>C<
www.gatorbucks.com
$1 OFF
(IN-STORE PURCHASE ONLY. MUST PRESENT COUPON AT TIME OF ORDERING. NOT VALID FOR DELIVERY.) CANNOT BE USED WITH THE 3 ROLLS FOR $10 DISCOUNT OR ANY OTHER OFFERS
EXPIRES: 1/15/14
(352) 338-1068 WWW.SUSHI-2-GO.COM
www.gatorbucks.com
$10 OFF
any purchase over $50.00
NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER COUPON, CLEARANCE ITEMS OR ITEMS ENDING WITH $.55. NOT APPLICABLE TO PRIOR PURCHASES. COUPON CAN ONLY BE USED ONCE PER DAY/PER PERSON. COUPON CAN’T BE USED ON NEW BATS OVER $150.00. IN STOCK ITEMS ONLY.
Not valid w/
pizzas only. or Hand-tossed e: L3 other offers. Cod
LY. Valid a offerings. Not valid w/ any CARRYOUT ON limited time pizz
, Thin ‘n Crispy on regular Pan
9 JUST $6
LARGE PIZZA 1-TOPPING 9
Oaks Mall & Tower Rd. 332-0032 13th Street & Downtown 338-1776 order online: www.pizzahut.com
NOW SERVING WINGSTREET!
Northwest & Midtown: 373-7733 On Campus & Archer Rd. 374-4440
EXPIRES: 01/15/14
Corner of University Ave and 34th St, 3425 W University Ave 377-7666
www.gatorbucks.com
FAVO
ICA’S AMER RITE PIZZA
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EXP: 01/15/14
damned you siri
Y PL AP AY D O T
GREAT LOCATIONâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;WALK TO CLASS apply today @ royal village.com
Â&#x20AC;xÂ&#x161;n iÂ&#x20AC;Â&#x2026;j Â&#x2018; s Â?Â&#x2026;Â&#x201A; jaÂ&#x201A;Â?Â&#x2022; Â&#x2018; iÂ&#x20AC;Â&#x2026;j Â&#x2018; s Â?Â&#x2026;Â&#x201A; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2026;Â?Â&#x2026;Â?xÂ&#x201D; Â? Â?Â&#x2026;Â&#x203A; Ă&#x2020; Â&#x2022;Â?v Â?a l nl Â?nÂ&#x2018;Â&#x2026;Â?Â&#x201D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â?Â&#x20AC;n aÂ&#x201A; nÂ&#x192;xÂ&#x201D;xnÂ&#x2018; Ă&#x2020; xÂ&#x192;lxÂ&#x161;xlÂ&#x2022;aÂ&#x20AC; Â&#x20AC;na Â&#x2018;nÂ&#x2018; PÂ&#x2026;Â?aÂ&#x20AC;YxÂ&#x20AC;Â&#x20AC;avn jÂ&#x2026;Â&#x201A; Ă&#x2020; " Ă&#x2020; ! QZ /nÂ?Â&#x2026;Â&#x201D; $Â&#x161;n ž #
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Totally useless fact: Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
damned you siri
THE WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HAPPENING NETWORK
Let us help you reach thousands with outdoor advertising on The Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Happening Truck
Full service design studio providing clients with our best creative talents.
Totally useless fact: The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
Publishing division creating the best in college publications to college students.
Connecting students to student properties clear across the country. Traffic is our middle name.
From pens to ping pong tables, our promotional department can handle all of your logo merchandising needs.
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CHARTED
WHEN MY SIBLINGS NEED TO GET ON THE COMPUTER
HIPSTER VS HOMELESS
LONG HAIR
ANY OTHER TIME
ACTUALLY HOMELESS
WALK TO EVERY DESTINATION
IPHONE
EAT & DRINK CHEAP THINGS
LONG BEARDS
WHEN I’M ONLINE
SECOND-HAND CLOTHES
HOMELESS HIPSTER
COMPUTER LAB USAGE
GUYS WHO BRING THEIR GUITARS TO COLLEGE
time spent on Actual Work NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO WISH GUITAR PLAYER WOULD STOP PLAYING THE ONLY THREE SONGS HE KNOWS OVER & OVER
ACTION THEY THINK THEY WILL GET TIME SPENT ON RAGE COMICS
ACTION THEY ACTUALLY GET
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Totally useless fact: Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
my rough life!
my wallet won’t shut properly because there’s too much money in it.
Every Day is Gameday
In Gainesville every day is Gameday, only the venues change! So whether you love going outdoors or simply going out to eat, we’ve got just what you’re looking for. Paddle the Santa Fe River, dine at one of our delicious local restaurants or search for treasures at local boutiques and vintage shops downtown. Gainesville, where nature and culture meet.
Totally useless fact: Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
www.visitgainesville.com 352.374.5260
VisitGainesvilleFlorida campus talk
@ Gainesville |
september 2013
41
magic!
the magic of
Eye-Fi
mobi
Although improvements have been made, the quality and features of most smartphone cameras still fail to meet that of actual cameras. The only problem: Digital cameras lack the Wi-Fi capability needed to share such picturesque moments. With Eye-Fi Mobi card, you can instantly, wirelessly transfer the best images from your digital camera to the device you use the most for sharing. Once you start taking pictures, the images will automatically appear on your designated tablets to smart phones â&#x20AC;&#x201C; like magic! Without the hassle of transferring the images, you can freely focus on taking beautiful photos. Mobi creates its own Wi-Fi so it works anywhere you are. Just install the free Eye-Fi app on your smartphone or tablet to connect the card. Once paired, the card transfers photos and videos whenever your device detects new content. And, once the transfer completes, the card disconnects its Wi-Fi to save your battery.
$49.99 www.eye.fi Totally useless fact: Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wrightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s son.
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Finding an Apartment
powered by collegerentals.com
Tips & Checklist
Before You Set Out: Make a shopping list.
Are you looking for hardwood floors, dishwasher, washer and dryer? Do you have enough parking space for you and your roommates? Does the whole apartment need to be painted in orange and blue? You may not find everything, but it doesn’t hurt to set priorities.
Cover the bases.
Many landlords will want to verify your references. Phone ahead to alert possible references, including your former landlord, that they may receive a call.
During the Search: Try to see the units in the daytime. You’ll want to know how much natural light an apartment gets. It’s helpful to see what shape the place is in and whether more work is needed to make it habitable.
Do a careful walk-through of any unit you’re serious about.
The best time to ask about repairs and improvements is before you commit. Attach a list of any damages to the lease, and have it initialed by your landlord so you’re not held responsible later. This is especially important in a college town. Who knows who may have lived in the apartment before you!
Take measurements.
Take measurements of your larger furnishings (and take along a tape measure) to see how your things will fit… or what things you’ll need to buy. Be realistic about the move. If you have a king-size waterbed, maybe the fourth floor isn’t the best spot for you.
Ask Questions.
The College Rentals Apartment Tips & Checklist provides a thorough list of questions to ask.
Meet the neighbors!
Will you live above or below someone; do you share walls? Knock on doors and introduce yourself. Find out if neighbors are friendly, how they feel about noise, what they like about the neighborhood. This is a good person to ask about the safety of a neighborhood. Landlords aren’t allowed to discuss such things, but your new neighbor will know if the place has bad lighting or a wild Rottweiler problem.
Visit as many places as you can…
so you’ll have a good idea of what your money buys. Use our Apartment Checklist as a guide to inspecting and comparing choices. Then be prepared to ACT QUICKLY when you find something you like! Lots of complexes are on the internet. While you shouldn’t rely too heavily on the web, it is a good lace to get started narrowing to a list of possibilities. Check out www.collegerentals.com.
ITEM APARTMENT NAME} 1) Amount of Rent? 2) Amount of Security Deposit? 3) Amount of Late Payment Penalty? 4) Pet Fee? 5) Individual Leases? 6) Size of Apartment? 7) Penalty for Breaking Lease? 8) Furnished? 9) Private Bathrooms? 10) Utilities Included? 11) Cable Included? 12) High-Speed Internet/Ethernet? 13) Allowed to Paint Walls? 14) Ample Power Outlets/Phone Jacks? 15) Kitchen Appliances in Good Condition? 16) Vaulted Ceilings? 17) Ceiling Fans? 18) Curtains and Blinds? 19) Fitness Center? Office on site? 20) Tennis Courts/Basketball/Volleyball? 21) Overall Condition of Apartment? 22) Plenty of Closet and Storage Space? 23) Security/Alarms? 24) Washer/Dryers or Laundry Facilities? 25) Convenient to School? 26) Convenient to Bus Routes? 27) Convenient to Stores? 28) Quiet Community or Active Area? 29) Ample Parking? 30) Convenient Visitor Parking? 31) Porch/Patio? 32) Garbage Dumpster Proximity? 33) Maid Service? 34) Smoke Detectors/Carbon Monoxide Detector? 35) Gated Entry?
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Rentals Rentals
After You’ve Found It:
Read your lease thoroughly… and make sure you understand it. Don’t be afraid to ask! For example;
• What utilities are you responsible for? • H ow is the television reception? • Will you need cable? • I s there reference to existing wear or damage or a penalty for breaking the lease? • H ow does the management feel about subleases?
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Enjoy.
No apartment is going to be perfect; how much you enjoy where you live is largely up to you. Meet the people at the complex, and you’ll enjoy your living experience much more than if you stay indoors, drinking alone. Hang out at the pool. Play some basketball. Throw a party. No matter how you feel about the physical space you occupy, new friends can make you feel right at home.
Totally useless fact: The San Franciso Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Frequent Q&A My landlord refuses to make repairs, what can I do?
Hopefully you have kept a record of when you first reported the problem and asked that repairs be made. Be sure to document in writing each and every report and complaint made to the landlord. Keep a notebook next to the phone for recording conversations with your landlord. For each conversation, write the date, time, name of the person with whom you spoke, and what was said by each party to the conversation. If the landlord fails to make repairs within a reasonable time, you can report the problems to the city housing code office and ask for an inspection. If violations of the housing code are found, ask your landlord for a partial refund of the rent for the period of time that the violation existed. You may be able to either withhold your rent or terminate your lease if the problem constitutes a material breach of the lease or the landlord’s statutory duty to provide and maintain a reasonably safe and habitable dwelling. You must follow the exact requirements of Florida Statute 83.56. You must give the landlord a written notice demanding the repairs be made in seven days. The notice must indicate your intention to terminate the lease or withhold rent if the repairs are not made. The notice should be hand delivered or sent by certified mail. Be sure and keep a copy of the letter. This is a complicated process and the legal consequences are very serious. You should consult Student Legal Services before attempting to terminate your lease or withhold rent.
Can I deduct repair costs from my rent?
No. Florida Law does not authorize you to make repairs or to recover the cost of such repairs. In fact, most apartment leases prohibit repairs by tenants. Therefore, if you want to make repairs and deduct the cost from the rent, you must obtain prior consent from your landlord.
Can my landlord raise my rent during my lease term?
Not unless the lease contains a specific provision allowing for a rent increase. From the tenant’s perspective, one of the primary reasons for having a written lease is to lock in the rent for the rental period. READ THE LEASE BEFORE YOU SIGN IT. Normally, you should not sign a lease providing for a rent increase.
Can I break my lease if I have good reason? “I am graduating?” NO! “My roommate left?” NO! “I cannot afford the rent?” NO! “I need to work this summer?” NO! “The neighborhood is unsafe?” NO!
You can only terminate the lease if the landlord is materially violating your lease or the Florida Residential Landlord and Tenant Act. You should obtain legal advice before attempting to terminate your lease. In many cases, the best thing you can do is find a replacement tenant.
How soon must I renew my lease?
There is no legally established time period. You should not sign a lease that provides for automatic renewals or requires you to give the landlord a notice of non-renewal. If you do sign such a lease, you must strictly comply with the notice requirements imposed by the lease. If the lease does not specify otherwise, renewals are a matter of general contract law. The landlord cannot force you to renew prior to the end of your lease. However, if you do not renew by the landlord’s “deadline,” the landlord may rent your apartment to someone else.
What can happen if I don’t pay rent?
Failure to pay rent is the quickest way to be evicted. The landlord will serve a notice demanding payment of rent or possession of the apartment. If you fail to comply with the demand within three days, excluding weekends and holidays, eviction proceedings may be started. Neither surrender of the apartment nor eviction ends your liability for rent. You should immediately contact Student Legal Services if you receive a three-day notice.
Can I be evicted if I pay “my” rent and my roommates don’t?
Usually. Most leases provide that the tenants are jointly and severally liable for the entire rent. That means that you are both responsible for each other’s share and jointly responsible for paying the full amount. Therefore, the landlord can evict you unless the full rent is paid. It is possible for you to sue your roommates in small claims court to collect their share of the rent and utilities. A written roommate agreement will be helpful in proving your case in court. Given the difficulty of collecting money on a judgment quickly, the best thing you can do is obtain new roommates.
Note: This information does not apply to apartments offering individual leases.
Totally useless fact: Pinocchio is Italian for “pine eye”.
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sign on the dotted keg
CT’s Certified
Roommate Contract
Living with a complete stranger can be difficult. Unfortunately, for all of you planning on bunking up with a buddy, living with friends can also be difficult. That’s why the first thing you’ll learn about this fabled “real world” is the utter importance of getting everything (and we mean everything) in writing. To help facilitate that, we’ve drawn up a can’t-fail, tried-and-true roomie contract to help settle all disputes before they ever happen. Think of it as a pre-nup, minus the romance and sex… or not.
CT’s ROOMMATE
CONTRACT This contract hereby states that and will cohabitate in a peaceful and respectful manner from the day they move in to the day they move out. After that, they can be jackasses to each other whenever they’d like. Whereas said roommates agree not to steal each other’s significant others, one-night stands, possible hook-ups and/or prostitutes (if applicable). And whereas said roommates agree not to fart in public while other cohabitants and/or their friends and family are present (unless said fart is part of a joke or prank, in which case it is permissible). Moreover, all cohabitants agree to abide by “whoever smelt it, dealt it.”
And whereas all cohabitants agree to abide by the “whoever killed it, fills it” rule pertaining to all alcoholic beverages, specifically kegs.
And whereas if one roommate buys a pizza, no other roommate may eat a slice unless given direct permission from said buyer.
And whereas said roommates agree never to wake up before 10 a.m., regardless of whether or not they have an 8:30 a.m. class (or exam, for that matter).
And whereas all roommates agree that if and when Anchorman is playing on TV, no cohabitant may change the channel or ask for the volume to be lowered. This also applies during weeks of midterm and final exams.
And whereas all cohabitants involved in serious relationships will not publicly display affection around any other cohabitants or guests unless said significant other is really, really, really hot.
All signing participants agree to uphold and abide by said rules and regulations. If any individual roommate should fail to meet these requirements, they may be subjected to hours of TPing at the hands of their fellow cohabitants.
(Sign and Date)
(Sign and Date) This contract is certified by Campus Talk and should be notarized by Frank.
DROP OF BLOOD HERE!
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Totally useless fact: An animal epidemic is called an epizootic.
how manly are you?
MAN UP! : t s e T n The MMorae Than Just s e l c s u M g n i x e Fl
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Totally useless fact: The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
how manly are you?
In our modern, technological society, it’s not uncommon for an adult male to have, um, “overlooked,” and/or “missed out,” on many of the common skills associated with traditional “manliness.” Author Robert Dodenhoff breaks down many of those skills in an ultimate test of manhood. Never mind sports stats and useless action movie facts, in “The Man Test,” Dodenhoff challenges your knowledge with real categories that make a man, from finance and negotiation to etiquette and domestic skills.
You can find this test and more when you pick up “The Man Test” at Amazon.com for $12.99.
rather than pointy, as pointed collars draw the eye up the tall appearance. Choose spread collars,
jackets and pants is a good idea, as they break should stick with belts. Separate colors for suit Suspenders make men look taller, so tall men
Wider ties; Large pant cuffs; Horizontal stripes. 7) B, D, E, F. Separate colors for jacket/pants: that are fitted at the waist.
don’t drop past the waist, and select fuller shirts your backside by wearing shorter jackets that
what you do have, you can also draw attention to
6) B. Are tighter in the rear. To accent the most of vertical direction).
waist line is raised and the eye is drawn in a
consider using suspenders instead of a belt (the garments and pants that are too long, and
may help you appear a bit taller. Avoid oversized
pinstripes) pointed collar shirts and darker colors patterns. Thin-knot ties, vertical stripes (e.g.,
5) A, D, E. Pants with cuffs; long suit jackets; loud 4) True while smaller patterns do the opposite.
patterns (e.g., plaids) make you appear bigger,
you appear even bigger. In the same way, large
them if you’re wide in the middle, as they’ll make you want to appear larger – but stay away from
person. Try horizontal stripes if you’re skinny and thinner – a great choice if you’re a heavyset
3) False. Vertical stripes actually make you appear and gray pants.
Pair them with light brown, khaki and even blue
pants. What if you have burgundy colored shoes? beige, brown, tan, greens, and dark earth-tone
2) A. Grey, black, navy. Brown shoes go best with – which is a style you should probably avoid!
1) True. Unless your belt is made up of many colors
Answer Key:
Totally useless fact: Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.
vertically. Slightly wider ties, horizontal stripes,
You only have a few seconds to make a first impression, and your clothes play a major factor. This doesn’t mean that you need to dress in business suits all of the time. The right T-shirt and jeans can make the right statement in the proper situation. Choose your clothing carefully and you’ll enhance your image. Wear the wrong styles and colors, however, and you may create 6) If you have a flat a poor impression before you even open your mouth. butt, it’s best to choose pants that: 1) (True/False). Your belt A) Are loose in the rear 4) (True/False). If you’re color should match the B) Are tighter in the rear particularly hefty around color of your shoes. C) Hang low the middle, avoid heavy fabrics like tweeds and 2) In general, black shoes 7) If you’re tall (6'2" thick wool suits. work best with which or over), which four of color pants? the following should 5) If you’re short (5’6’’ A) Gray, black, navy you employ in your or under), which three of B) Beige, brown, tan, clothing choices? the following should greens, dark A) Suspenders you avoid? earth tones B) Separate colors A) Pants with cuffs for jacket/pants B) Thin-knot ties 3) (True/False). If you’re C) Pointy collars C) Dark colors skinny, you should wear D) Wider ties D) Long suit jackets vertically striped shirts E) Large pant cuffs E) Loud patterns to help broaden your F) Horizontal stripes F) Pinstripes apprearance.
pleated trousers and larger pant cuffs also
With a poorly dressed man, you notice the clothes; with a well-dressed man, you notice the man. – Anonymous
help to “shorten” a man.
The Man Te st: Clo thing
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RIDDLE ME THIS!
MIND
What loses a hea #1 d in the morning, bu t gains a head at n ight?
GAMES in in a r b r u o y p e e k To ing g n u lo e il h w e p sha on your couchâ&#x20AC;Ś
#5
1) A pillow 2) They are all adopted. 3) ALL ... Houses canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t jump. 4) The Mail Man, 5) A Pack of Cards
What is put on a table, cut, but never eaten? #2 these What do common? in 3 have an Superm Moses ch Kids t a P e g ba The Cab
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#3
What types of p animals can jum se? u o h a n a h t r e h ig h
#4 T
ake away my fi rs letter; take awa t y my second letter; ta ke away all my letters, a nd I would still rema in the same. What am I? Totally useless fact: All porcupines float in water.
hahahaha
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs? A: To avoid the draft.
Remember
send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.
One day, the Devil challenged God to a baseball game. Smiling, God proclaimed, “You don’t have a chance! I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and all the greatest players up here.” “Yes,” snickered the devil, “but I have all the umpires.”
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and said to the bartender: Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.” Bartender: “What’s a B and C?” Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.” Redhead: “I’ll have a G and T.” Bartender: “What’s a G and T?” Redhead: “Gin and tonic.” Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.” Bartender: “What’s a 15?” Blonde: “7 and 7.”
Totally useless fact: “Hang On Sloopy” is the official rock song of Ohio.
Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids? A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God says: “So you would love her.” “But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?” God says: “So she would love you.”
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow. Q. Why don’t women blink during foreplay? A. They don’t have time. Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? A. They don’t stop and ask for directions. Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer.
A wife asked her husband one night, “Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?” “Not at all, my dear,” said the husband. “I’d love you no matter who left you the money!”
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LOOKIN’ GOOD!
Beauty By Danielle Boudreau
for the Fall LUSH Flower’s Barrow Perfume A nostalgic perfume inspired by the stories of an Iron Age hillfort in England; the ancient ruins sunk into the sea, and nettles and brambles have taken over the land. Sage and thyme pull you back through the ages. Ripe bursting black currant and sweet geranium are the tang of sea air and the wild plants. $19.95–$69.95 (6 sizes available!) LushUSA.com
Earth Therapeutics KROME Grooming Brush
Designed with a smooth, comfortable handle, the Earth Therapeutics KROME hair brushes are ideal for detangling, smoothing and grooming all types of medium to very long hair. The bristles are set in a soft rubber air cushion base to soothe the scalp and are also tipped with round, molded balls to help prevent breakage and split ends. Available in pink, purple, gold and silver, the brushes feature a pearly, glossy finish for an ultra-chic look. $9.99 each EarthTherapeutics.com
LUSH Breath of Fresh Air Toner Water
LUSH toners are made with fruit, flower and herb waters and without alcohol so they don’t leave skin feeling dry; just smoother, cleaner and nicely refreshed. Breath of Fresh Air Toner Water is made with aloe, seaweed and rose spray to help soothe sore skin. $19.95–$69.95 (6 sizes available!) LushUSA.com 52
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Yes To Blueberries Facial Towelettes These Facial Towelettes are formulated with blueberries and coconut to gently cleanse, remove makeup and moisturize skin, all in one. With lemon peel and apple to help brighten skin, these are a great addition to the Age Refresh collection. They leave your skin feeling clean, youthful and glowy! $5.99 YesToCarrots.com
Yes To Tomatoes Blemish Clearing Towelettes
Yes to Tomatoes Blemish Clearing Facial Towelettes help fight acne and blemishes when you’re on the go with powerful blemish-fighting ingredients that are proven to help heal and clear skin. Salicylic Acid helps unclog pores, break down blemishes and control oil. Tomatoes help control sebum and oil production in skin, while protecting it from environmental agents that can cause breakouts. $5.99 YesToCarrots.com
Totally useless fact: Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?
LOOKIN’ GOOD!
Kneipp Almond Blossom Body Oil For those with extra dry skin, this luxurious oil is formulated with sweet almond, jojoba and sunflower oils that have been enhanced with Vitamins A and E to provide the ultimate in hydration. Ideal for use post-shower or bath, the oil absorbs quickly and helps to improve skin elasticity, protect against harmful environmental damage and nourish parched skin. $19 for 3.4 fl. oz KneippUS.com
Kneipp Almond Blossom Soft Skin Bath Formulated with 94 percent pure almond oil, this concentrated bath essence conditions skin while helping to strengthen its natural protective barrier. Pour one capful into a steamy bath and soak for 15–20 minutes to achieve a healthy, hydrated glow. $20 for 3.4 fl. oz KneippUS.com
Kneipp Almond Blossom Gentle Body Wash Condition skin while you cleanse it with this nourishing body wash that gently washes away impurities while moisturizing with natural sweet almond oil. $15 for 17.6 fl. oz KneippUS.com
Kneipp Almond Blossom Body Lotion Sweet almond oil combines with moisturizing avocado and jojoba oils to hydrate skin in this rich formula. The non-greasy lotion absorbs quickly and leaves behind a delicate scent. $22 for 6.8 fl. oz KneippUS.com
Elemental Herbology Facial Radiance Peel Overexposure to sun, central heating, wind, cold, flying and pollution saps the skin’s life-force resulting in dull, dry, flaky and prematurely aged skin. Infused with a tropical cocktail of vitamins, enzymes and skin-brightening botanicals, this radiance peel helps to exfoliate dead surface cells, stimulate cell metabolism and harmonize the skin tone to create a radiant and glowing complexion. ElementalHerbologyUS.com Elemental Herbology Cell Food Radiance and Vitality Serum Helps boost, protect and repair undernourished skin. This anti-aging ‘power house’ of proteins, vitamins and antioxidants is an essential addition to any skincare regimen. An intensive dose of antioxidants and reparative nutrients helps stimulate collagen and elastin production to restore vitality and radiance and helps reduce the prevalence of dark spots, fine lines and wrinkles. Ideal product to help counter the effects of air travel, central heating, pollution, cold winter winds and excessive summer sun. $76 for 1 fl. oz ElementalHerbologyUS.com Totally useless fact: The world’s largest wine cask is in Heidelberg, Germany.
Earth Therapeutics Triple Butter Body Butter
Enriched with a super-moisturizing blend of three natural plant butters – cocoa butter, mango butter and shea butter – these butters hydrate, soothe and soften the skin on contact, while a mix of certified organic botanical extracts stimulate the senses. Available in orange, mango and lemon flavors, these thick, creamy formulas glide on smooth without being greasy and are free of parabens, laurel/laureth sulfate and artificial colors. $11.99 EarthTherapeutics.com campus talk
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This award is presented to:
Award 2013
Clinger
CONGRATULATIONS I
n recognition of your outstanding persistence to not walk away. Like a moth gravitating toward a light, you continue to flitter about the space of those who do not care for your presence. With each story told and each laughter shared, you attempt to slide your way into the group, all the while failing to recognize the growing flame of negative energy before you. Leave it to you to take an obligatory polite action, such as a “How are you?” or “Hello,” as an invitation for you to cling to the party until you get so close that you are burned by the very source of which you so longed to be apart.
presented by signed date
sci fi drama
Katie Sackhoff Interview by Lauren Douglass
Katie Sackhoff is no stranger to action. Reaching cult fame in the Sci-Fi series Battlestar Gallactica in the mid-2000s, Sackhoff returns to the genre in the latest installation to the “Riddick” series starring Vin Diesel. CT sat down to discuss “Riddick,” her experiences as an actress in the action genre and the future of her career. What was filming Riddick like? It was amazing. I’ve been a fan of the Riddick series for a long time, and a huge action fan. I grew up watching action and science fiction movies. There’s a small cluster of women who were doing it; however, it was always mostly guys. I think I idolize a lot of men because of that and Vin was one of them. Working on the Riddick series was a dream come true. What is Vin like in the real world? He’s as sweet as can be. You know, I don’t want to give too much away because he has this serious side to him, but he’s very sweet, very charming; he takes his work really seriously and he’s kind of a jokester. He’s always laughing or smiling, which I don’t think is something that people anticipate as the adjectives to describe Vin; that was something that was a surprise to me as well.
Tell me a little about your audition? I went in one time for the director, David Twohy, and casting, and they said that I was on the short list as soon as Vin got back to town. I needed to be ready and available to work with him. When he came back, I was the last person they saw. I jumped in my car and went over there. I didn’t even audition, I just got to talk to him. The next morning at like 8 o’clock I got the role. Do you usually gravitate towards the action and sci-fi genre? I gravitate towards complicated characters, and they’re most of the time in drama. Science fiction writes some of the best female characters. I don’t know why such strong women are in science fiction, but I’d love to say that society’s changing and people are becoming more aware that women can do pretty much anything. Because sci-fi is fantasy, I think you get more freedom in the roles, which lends itself to creating stronger female characters Do you consider yourself that way, or is it just a character that you like to play? I’m one of the wimpiest people ever; I’m afraid of my own shadow. I think that’s probably why I like playing these characters so much. I do like being physical. Growing up I was a huge fan of Lucille Ball so I was always a fan of physical comedy. I haven’t really done a comedy, however, so I’ve taken that physicality into my dramatic roles. What do you mean by being physical? I like to do my own stunts. I like to hike and ride my bike, but I had to spend a lot of years in the gym with trainers, lifting weights. I got to this point where I decided life is too short and I wanted to enjoy it a little bit more. So
Totally useless fact: All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
unless the role calls for it, I don’t go to the gym anymore. I’m usually still doing something physical, whether it is as little as cleaning the house or as much as going for a run on the beach. As the future goes, do you think you’re going to stay in roles like this or are you going to switch it up a bit? I’ll switch it up. I think there’s a difference in the action roles and other roles that I could take later in life. You have a certain amount of time in your life when you can play these roles and it makes sense. I’m not saying that it’s tomorrow, but it’s definitely 10 years, and I want to get this out of my system before I go do something else. Is there any advice that you’ve followed in this business, or anything you live by? When I was 20 years old, which is a long time ago now, I was on a show with Richard Dreyfuss, Marcia Gay Harden and Peter O’Toole. Marcia Gay Harden said, “Always trust your instincts because your instincts will never let you down.” I always follow that to this day; I always trust my instincts, even if it means I have to go to bat with a director. I think, in this business, that’s the only thing that makes you an individual. One of the problems of this business is that too many actors are trying to be just like each other. They’re taking away the one thing that makes them special, and that’s their own instincts. As long as you listen to that – and you can take it into your personal life too – you’ll never make the wrong decision. You may be hurt for a while, but it’s never going to be the wrong decision in the long run. campus talk
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TAKE NOTE
Top 10 by Kelly Herman
Strangest
Deaths 1762
The heir to the throne of Joseon was deemed unfit to succeed his father, so he was ordered to be sealed alive in a rice chest. Tough love, baby.
620 BC
An Athenian lawmaker by the name of Draco was smothered to death by cloaks thrown on him as gifts from appreciative citizens. Being showered in presents never hurt so good.
1979
Ford Co. plant worker, Robert Williams, was the first known person to be killed by a robot when its one-ton arm hit him in the head. THE TAKEOVER HAS BEGUN!
2007
Surinder Singh Bajwa, the Deputy Mayor of Delhi, India, fell off his balcony trying to fight of monkeys. And this is why animals should not have thumbs; They get way too cocky.
1816
American statesman Gouverneur Morris died trying to relieve a blockage in his urinary tract using a piece of whale bone. Note to self: Whale bones do not belong in blowholes.
1930
William Kogut, an inmate on death row, committed suicide with a pipe bomb created from several packs of playing cards and the hollow leg from his cot. At the time, the red ink in playing cards contained a flammable chemical. Sometimes itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just better not to wait for the inevitable.
415
Hypatia of Alexandria, the last librarian of the Library of Alexandria, was murdered by a Christian mob that ripped off her skin with sharp seashells. Most women would kill for that kind of microdermabrasion.
Totally useless fact: Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
1983
Here is both the reason you do and do not want to watch the diving portion of the Olympics: Sergei Chalibashvili died when he attempted a three-and-a-half reverse somersault in the tuck position from the 10-meter platform. He hit his head and died after being in a coma for a week.
2013
Ma Ailun, a 23-year-old stewardess, was electrocuted by answering a call on her iPhone 4 while it was charging. See this is why you always get the newest versions, so you know all the kinks have been worked out.
1966
When a surfboard lying on top of his convertible hit a parked car, it swung around and hit Worth Bingham in the neck causing it to break. I guess thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what you get when you put sports equipment on a sports car. campus talk
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get these in your life! By Danielle Boudreau
These hot new gadgets will make you the most techsavvy student this school year
The Snooze
Your iPhone becomes the alarm clock of your dreams with this slappable alarm dock. The iPhone slides into the alarm dock. Easily snooze or silence calls by slapping the fat, rubber snooze bar. Download the free Snooze App in the iTunes store to turn the iPhone screen into a dimmable clock-display. The dockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cable-catch in back prevents your cable from falling behind nightstand. Compatible with iPhone 4/4s, iPhone 5 (naked and with slim cases); available with black or white snooze bar. $39.99 Distilunion.com
Hope Paige Medical ID Bracelet
Turtle Shell Wireless Boombox
Built-for-action, this tailgating miracle is a water and dust resistant Bluetooth doanything, go-anywhere Hi-Fi boom box. Designed with the outdoorsman in mind, the Turtle Shell has a rubber-coated shell to keep out dust and absorb substantial impacts. It wirelessly connects with your smartphone, tablet, laptop or any other Bluetooth-enabled device, and streams crystal clear audio up to 30 feet for up to 9 hours. The Turtle Shell features an angular, triangle-themed construction that fits in, as well, on your coffee table as it does out in the elements. $149.99 Outdoortech.com
These trendy, one-of-a-kind bracelets are ideal for those with a medical condition or illness such as allergies. Each bracelet is custom engraved and will alert medical personnel in case of an emergency. Available in various colors and styles, these bracelets are the perfect way to stay safe while at school. Find them at HopePaige.com
Penclic
A Lightweight, Bluetooth mouse that functions like a pen for quick, precise movement. The Penclic mouse looks, feels and acts like a pen, placing superior navigation at your fingertips. Its ergonomic design creates a relaxed working position, enhancing user experience and allowing for laser-focused precision. $89.95 Amazon.com 58
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Totally useless fact: Pulp Fiction cost $8 million to make - $5 million going to actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s salaries.
get these in your life!
FAVI Mini Bluetooth Keypad
This small keyboard with touchpad mouse perfectly complements the Kindle Fire HD and other Bluetooth devices. The FAVI mini bluetooth keypad comes with music/video hotkeys and a built-in laser pointer. FAVI’s android buttons and screen swipe touchpad offers fast and fluid navigation. FAVI connects with nearly all Bluetooth devices including Kindle Fire HD, Google Nexus 7, iPad, Samsung Galaxy and Asus; as well as PCs, laptops and Mac. The touchpad features full mouse control, as well as “tap to click” and page scroll. With its 50-foot range, built-in laser pointer and PowerPoint slide buttons, FAVI is perfect for office presentations. $49.99 Staples or FaviEntertainment.com
Q Card Case
A wallet case for iPhone 4/4S and iPhone 5 that combines superior protection, sophisticated style, and pocket-friendly convenience. Its integrated wallet comfortably fits three cards (credit cards, IDs, etc.) plus cash. Its exclusive patent pending soft-touch rubber and premium fabric allows the case to easily be pulled out of pockets and purses. The lay-flat Screen Guard™ provides ultimate scratch-resistant protection while the front bezel protects against car keys, drops and most threats. $39.99 CM4.com
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The Norm5
It provides simplicity and style for mounting the iPhone 5 in a car. The Norm uses a specially treated binder clip and foam wrapped arms to secure your iPhone 4 or iPhone 5 (without case) to the vents on your car’s dashboard. Once on the vents, your iPhone is conveniently in the driver’s field of view to see who’s trying to contact you. Operating maps, listening to music or podcasts, or other apps that enhance your day to day in-car experience is a pleasure with the Norm. $35 store.igproducts.us Totally useless fact: The Earth rotates on its axis more slowly in March than in September.
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hahahaha
Remember
An elderly man flattered himself that he was still a ladies’ man and decided to flirt with the beautiful waitress. “So, tell me, sweetheart, where have you been all my life?” he crooned. “Actually, sir,” she pointed out sweetly, “for the first 45 years of it, I wasn’t even around.”
send all jokes to funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.
Q: How do men exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes always one liners? A: So brunettes can tell them. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: To not get Hearing Aides.
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A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
A man was visiting the cemetery when he heard a fellow man crying loudly by a nearby grave. “Why’d you have to die?!?! Why?!?!” he cried. The first man went up to console him and asked, “Is that your wife’s grave?” “No,” answered the second man. “It’s her first husband’s grave.”
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her 20s and is contemplating proposing to her. “Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend. “Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.”
Totally useless fact: On the cartoon show ‘The Jetsons’, Jane is 33 years old and her daughter Judy is 15.
stick to the code
10–4
“
”
from cop code to common slang By Daniel Sutphin
It’s something we’ve all said at one point in our lives, whether it was slang during a conversation or as far back as a game of cops and robbers as children. As with much slang, the origin, and often the word’s original meaning, is lost as it becomes more commonly used. One such term is that of the universal and commonly misused “10–4.” Just to be clear, “10–4” stands for “acknowledgement received” not “yes.” The saying derived from codes used by actual police officers, not just some made up lingo tossed around in cheesy TV cop dramas. The code was created in the 1920s so police departments could communicate information on active police channels. The National Institute of Justice said that early radio technology lacked the capability of assisting law enforcement. Until the early 1980s, many departments used singlechannel radios to communicate with officers 10–1 Receiving Poorly 10–2 Receiving Well 10–3 Stop Transmitting 10–4 Acknowledgement Received 10–5 Relay To 10–6 Busy 10–7 Out Of Service 10–8 In Service 10–9 Repeat-Conditions Bad 10–10 Out Of Service – Subject to call 10–11 Dispatching Too Fast 10–12 Passenger 10–13 Weather/Road Condition 10–14 Convoy Or Escort 10–15 Prisoner In Custody 10–16 Pick Up Prisoner At 10–17 Conduct Investigation 10–18 Expedite Assignment 10–19 Return To Station 10–20 Your Location? 10–21 Call Station (Phone) 10–22 Disregard 10–23 Standby
in the field. As a result, the channel became congested when multiple situations occurred at different locations. The 10-codes were created as a solution, allowing departments to transfer specific information quickly, which lessened radio traffic. Despite the 10-Codes longevity of use, the NIJ found that many law enforcement programs have begun to phase out the code for a plain language approach. Despite issues with the comprehensiveness of plain language, and the overall extent of its application, NIJ cites that the Department of Homeland Security, for example, has pushed for the plain language use in its National Incident Management System.
10–24 Trouble-Send Help 10–25 In Contact With 10–26 Message Received 10–27 Complete Record OK 10–28 Check Registration 10–29 Stolen And/Or Wanted 10–30 Against Rules/Reg. 10–31 In Pursuit 10–32 Is D.O. Opr. Available 10–33 Emergency Traffic 10–34 Jail Break/Trbl. Station 10–35 Confidential Info. 10–35 Driver 10–36 Correct Time 10–37 Operator On Duty 10–38 Block Road (s) At 10–39 Message Delivered 10–40 Out For Meal 10–41 In Possession Of 10–42 Out Of Service-Home 10–43 Any Traffic For 10–44 Pick Up Papers At 10–45 Call By Phone
Whether or not the 10-Codes maintain in police jargon, one thing is for certain, as the English language continues to be condensed and simplified into slang and text message abbreviations to accommodate the lazy vernacular of modern American society, something as simple and common as “10–4” bears no threat of disappearing, only further becoming synonymous with its misconceived meaning, “yes.” Where the beginnings of 10–4 may serve as no surprise, the number of codes and the variety of information behind each code, is quite the opposite. For example, a 10–47 calls for a “Blood Run.” Although they vary by departments, a general list of 10-codes you will hear on scanners include:
10–46 Urgent 10–47 Blood Run 10–48 End/Did You Receive 10–49 Serving Warrant Capias 10–50 Stop Veh. (tag 10-20) 10–51 En route 10–52 Est. Time Of Arrival 10–53 Coming By Office 10–54 Negative 10–55 Car Calling To Car 10–56 Meet…At… 10–57 At Pistol Range 10–58 At Road Patrol Office 10–59 Send Teletype/Comp. Mag. 10–60 Assist To Motorist 10–61 Need R.P. SGI On Scene 10–62 Need R.P. LT. On Scene 10–63 Need Bomb Squad (scene) 10–64 Need Crime Lab (scene) 10–65 Can You Copy 10–66 Cancel 10–67 Serving Civil Process
Totally useless fact: White-Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith, formerly of The Monkees.
10–68 Legal Advice/Advisor 10-69 Send Narc. Agent 10–70 Send Wrecker 10–71 Send Ambulance 10–72 Send Helicopter 10–73 Open Gate S.O. 10–74 Re-Call 10–75 Are you OK? 10–85 Vacation Watch 10–86 Medical Hazard 10–88 Phone # 10–89 On Pager 10–90 Scramble (Code ABCD) 10–91 Tactical Freq. 10–92 Info. Freq. 10–93 Detective Needed 10–94 Send Back-Up Car 10–95 Computer Check 10–96 Radio-Telephone Patch 10–97 Arrived At Scene 10–98 Completed Assignment 10–99 NCIC / FCIC Hit
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CHARTED
WHAT MY CATS LIKE TO EAT MY EARPHONES
DRY CAT FOOD MY DINNER
CANNED CAT FOOT
SWEAR-INDUCING VIDEO GAMES
RPGS SHOOTERS
mario kart
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Totally useless fact: The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan.”
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Totally useless fact: Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always the same gender. 004-Campus-Tallk-3.8583x10.0394.indd
1
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spotted!
RUSH
Spot The Differences
SEPTEMBER 27, 2013
Olivia Wilde, Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Dormer
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Totally useless fact: It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.
Totally useless fact: The first toilet ever seen on television was on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Leave It To Beaverâ&#x20AC;?.
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1) LEFT GIRL's hat is different color, 2) guy has sunglasses, 3) Right girl's coat zipper is missing, 4) left girl has gold tooth, 5) guy has badges missing, 6) right girl has earring missing, 7) guy in background-right is missing, 8) flag in back-left is missing, 9) right girl's headband is different color
LIST
CHECK
spotted!
game on!
Sore Thumbs By Daniel Sutphin
Outlast PC PS4
This horror-action game takes place in the remote mountains of Colorado where horrors wait inside Mount Massive Asylum. The “research and charity” branch of the transnational Murkoff Corporation operates in secrecy after re-opening an old abandoned home for the mentally ill. Independent journalist Miles Upshur gets a tip about the facility and decides to break in to see what’s going on. The horrors waiting inside walk a terrifying line being science and religion, nature and something else entirely.
September 4
Grand Theft Auto V PS3 PC Xbox 360 September 17 The much-anticipated return of Grand Theft Auto takes place in the city of Los Santos and its surrounding hills, countryside and beaches. The infamous third-person action game takes a new direction in open-world freedom, storytelling, mission-based gameplay and online multiplayer, focusing on the pursuit of the almighty dollar in a re-imagined, present-day Southern California. 66
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Total War: Rome II PC September 3 This real-time strategy game combines turn-based campaigns with large, cinematic real-time battles. Players embark on a mission to become the world’s first superpower, in order to dominate the enemies of your glorious empire by military, economic and political means. In typical Rome fashion, such a rise will bring players fame from followers, but will spark greed and jealousy from allies.
The Wonderful 101 Wii U
September 15
When Earth is attacked by enormous aliens, protecting the planet falls on the shoulders of a group of unlikely, but powerful, heroes with special abilities. The aliens are too powerful for the heroes to fight individually so they must band together to ward off the mighty creatures.
Rayman Legends Wii U PS3 PC Xbox 360 September 3 In this platformer game, Rayman embarks on a new fantasy adventure taking him through a variety of themed levels including several musical maps set to creative soundtracks and a spooky medieval theme. Players can also connect online with friends through a variety of challenges to test their skill and speed, and see where they rank on the worldwide leaderboards. The legendary worlds feature all new environments, characters and enemies.
Totally useless fact: In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured
Totally useless fact: The â&#x20AC;&#x153;saveâ&#x20AC;? icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.
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getting to know you
The First Date We’ve all been there. You’re nervous and unsure of yourself, with dozens of questions racing through your head. Did you pick the right restaurant? Will the conversation be interesting? Can you impress her? If you don’t want the first date to be a flop, follow this quick guide.
Stay Local
Pick a restaurant in the area. You want to find a place with character that isn’t over-the-top expensive, and yet still sets the right mood. Family restaurants probably aren’t your best bet, nor are suit and tie joints. Read online reviews or ask friends for suggestions so you know you’re going somewhere great. Avoid chain restaurants at all costs; they don’t show any initiative on your part, and your date won’t be impressed. 68
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Keep It Simple
As Long as Let Her Talk Don’t start babbling about how I’ve Got My awesome you are; let her speak. Suit and Tie... The greatest conversationalists First impressions matter, and it’s important to dress appropriately. Put on something relaxed yet polished. A nice collared shirt and jeans is a good start. Skip the cologne, at least for now, and for heaven’s sake shower beforehand. You want your date to know you’ve tried, but not too hard.
are the ones who ask the right questions. Listen to what she’s saying and take time to form adequate responses. It’s great to ask her personal questions, but don’t interrogate. You want to get to know her without being forceful. You know you’re doing it right if she starts to open up.
Remember the three C’s: character, confidence, compliments. Never try to be something you’re not; if this relationship has any future, she’s got to know the real you. Relax. Be confident. When you speak, look her in the eye and make sure to slide in a few small compliments. Remember, not every single date is going to go your way, but practice makes perfect. First impressions are everything, so do your best to separate yourself and before you know it, first date worries will be a thing of the past.
Totally useless fact: All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Courtroom Fails
TRIAL by jury
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The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation. Each, shows how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. brotherLawyer: “What is your ?” me in-law’s na Witness: “Borofkin.” st name?” Lawyer: “What’s his fir ember.” rem ’t can “I Witness: r n Lawyer: “He’s bee you and rs, yea for law inbrotherst fir his you can’t remember name?” , I’m too Witness: “No. I tell you inting to po d an g sin (ri excited.” than, for “Na ) his brother-in-law m your the l tel e, sak heaven’s !” me first na
Lawyer: “And last ly, all your response Gary, s must be oral. Ok? What sc hool do you go to?” Witness: “Oral.” Lawyer: “How old are you?” Witness: “Oral.” Lawyer: “What is your marital status?” Witness: “Fair.” Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?” Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.” Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?” Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.” Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?” Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?” Witness: “It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.” Lawyer: “And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?”
isn’t it Lawyer: “Now, doctor, dies son per true that when a he es cas st mo in , ep in his sle ay and just passes quietly aw about doesn’t know anything ?” ing it until the next morn
Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?” Witness: “No.” Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?” Witness: “No.” Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?” Witness: “No.” Lawyer: “So, then it is pos sible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?” Witness: “No.” Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?” Witness: “Because his bra in was sitting on my desk in a jar.” Lawyer: “But could the pat ient have still been alive neverthel ess?” Witness: “Yes, it is possib le that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”
Totally useless fact: Almonds are members of the peach family.
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(located across from Lakeside Residential Complex)
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Color Copies Posters Business Cards Brochures Stamps Pamphlets Booklets Copy Paper
FREE PARKING! 70
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LESSON
3
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Can I also sit like you and do nothing?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; The eagle answered: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sure, why not.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Totally useless fact: Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
Totally useless fact: John Lennonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
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Save th e Date
SATURD
AY, O
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Totally useless fact: There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
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BREAKFAST BURRITOS!
Egg-n-Chorizo Available (Friday after midnight through Sunday)
CAMPUS
3412 W University Ave 352.672.6654
74
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Totally useless fact: A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
Totally useless fact: The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
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Totally useless fact: The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 oz.
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STREETTEAMSDISTRO@GMAIL.COM 78
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Totally useless fact: In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
you sooooo cheated
S R E W ANS
CR OS SWORD
WORD HUNT!
september
SUDOKU
star map
MEGA MAZE
SNOWFL AKES
even exchange
fear knot!
GO FIGURE
Totally useless fact: Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth.
CRYPTO QUOTE
QUIP{
whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frank?
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hahahaha
Remember to
send all jokes funny@mycampus talk.com and you could win a Campus Talk t-shirt.
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4-year-old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to name it. If it is a girl, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re calling her Molly and if it is a boy, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to call it quits.â&#x20AC;?
Q: What do tornadoes and Dallas Cowboy fans have in common? A: Sooner or later, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll both end up in trailer parks! Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tuna fish.
There was a Minister whose wife was expecting a baby. The Minister went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Ministerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family expanded, so would his pay check. After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Ministerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pay situation. There was much yelling and bickering. Finally, the Minister got up and spoke to the crowd, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Having children is an act of God!â&#x20AC;? In the back of the room, a little old man stood up, and in his frail voice said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Snow and rain are also â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;acts of God,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!â&#x20AC;?
Q: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the one thing that keeps most men out of college? A: High School. Q: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? A: Get divorced.
During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right, Coach,â&#x20AC;? replied the lineman. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much better!â&#x20AC;?
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Totally useless fact: Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.
FREE
win it!
STUFF!!! EC-BC Zeus Messenger Bag Giveaway In college, it’s important to have the proper equipment and protecting that equipment is equally crucial. That’s why Campus Talk is launching a NEW Sponsored Contest! Through September 20, Campus Talk Magazine is giving away a Zeus Messenger Bag for FREE. The Zeus Messenger Bag, priced at $119.99, has a large capacity, yet highly organized feel that allows you to simplify your life by keeping everything in order. This highly protective laptop bag is constructed of lightweight “Outdoor Industry Tested” Kodra material, which is abrasion resistant with a waterproof coating. The large interior compartment has multiple interior pockets for storing chargers, power cords, memory devices, small electronic devices, office or school supplies, and personal items. There is also a super convenient front pocket with a designated cell phone pocket inside. Stay organized while hauling as much as you need to with the Zeus Messenger Bag. To purchase the Zues, go to www.ec-bc.com.
How To Win:
Entering and winning stuff from mycampustalk.com is probably the easiest thing you’ll ever do in college besides passing out in the parking lot of your apartment complex after tailgating all day. To enter, all you have to do is one of the following:
1
Follow Campus Talk on Twitter and tweet the following on your page: “Look, MyCampusTalk.com is giving away a (enter the name of the giveaway)!”
2
‘Like’ the Campus Talk Facebook Page and post the same line: “Look, MyCampusTalk.com is giving away a (enter the name of the giveaway)!” on your profile page AND on the CT wall.
3
You can also enter by signing up for the Campus Talk newsletter via the sign up form on the sidebar of the mycampustalk.com homepage. And get this! If you do ALL THREE you’ll get THREE ENTRIES into the contest. AND the more you tweet and post the line, the better your chances. (Please only do it once on the CT wall.) Unless otherwise noted, contests will last 30 days and the winner will be notified on the 31st day. Now quit reading the details and go enter!
More contest details can be found at mycampustalk.com Totally useless fact: Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1 million descendents.
campus talk
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september 2013
work it out
Occupation By Daniel Sutphin
William Dampier
Explorer
These are a few of the tech job titles currently out there on the market (in no particular order).
Occupational descriptions have changed over time. With technology and education, new occupations and titles seem to be popping up on a constant basis. While many of these modern occupations may lead to lucrative careers and substantial incomes, they are quite, well by title and description … horribly boring. It’s easy to agree with the fact that these jobs provide the safety and security that a general populous of the country seems to long for; however when considering a Wikipedia search of Englishman William Dampier resulted in a listed occupation of “Explorer,” vwell that’s way more badass than being titled a “tech consultant.” Next time you’re filling out a job application or trying to hit on someone at a bar and the question of occupation arises, why not try one of these “occupations” on for size. According to a 1891 UK Census Occupation listing, your Victorian (and thus, way more interesting) occupation could be:
Barber’s Lather Boy
A Barber’s assistant, one whose duties would include lathering customers ready for shaving
Aeronaut
A balloonist or a trapeze artist in th e circus or music halls
Butty
The person who negotiated mining contracts and supplied the labor
Burgomaster A Town Mayor
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AbleanSwehoaremacahend A seam ill a standard of sk of at th e ov ab . Ordinary Seaman
Bang Beggar
An officer of the parish who controlled the length of stay of any stranger to the parish
Badger Hair Dresser, Brush Someone who made, or dressed brushes made out of Badger hair
Avowrdrofy The Lo the Manor
Ale Tunner bre
wery worker who fills ale casks (tuns) with ale
Crocker Potter
Ale Taster
tested ale and beer for quality
Dairyman
Artificial Florist
Made and sold artificial flowers
Ashmanshipman A Sailor who cleaned the ashes from a ships boiler
Bunter
Bareman or Bairman
Female rag & bone collector
beggar or pauper
Copeman
dealer in goods, or a dishonest dealer in horses
worker or owner of a dairy farm or seller of dairy products
female overseer in the winding rooms of a silk mill
A man who took a person to prison
A female Administrator
Cup Bearer
A member of nav press gang
Clapman
Administratrix
Burl
Crimper y
Danter
• Systems Administrators • • Network Administrators • • Network Engineers • • LAN Administrators • • WAN Administrators • • Storage – SAN Administrators • • Infrastructure Analysts • • Technical Consultants •
Coper
ern keeper
Damster ms for
A builder of da logging purposes
type DaguAnerearrlyeo name for a
Artist; the photographer (from ) od Daguerreotype meth
woma keeps an alehouse or tavern
Ashman
A horse dealer; sometimes a dishonest horse dealer
Belhoste tav
ife Ale W n who
Dustman, or Refus Collector. Als e o someone who cleans the ash es from a boiler
Assay Master One wh
o determined the amount of gold or silver to go into coins to be minted
Dareman A Dairyman
Look for more occupation titles in next month’s Campus Talk!
Totally useless fact: You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a poisonous spider.
the roads we choose
Guy Nardulli Interview by Sarah G. Mason, Photos by Bobby Quillard
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Totally useless fact: A kangarooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s penis is forked.
the roads we choose
Professional football player, athletic model, Italian cook, actor, director … Guy Nardulli has an impressive résumé, even before he adds “viral TV sensation” to the list. Nardulli talks with me about his new hit Carl’s Jr. Superman commercial, shares some funny (and slightly embarrassing) stories from the set, and shares his (big!) plans for the future. Since you were working with Zach Snyder, did it feel like you were in a movie instead of a commercial? We filmed it as if it were a movie. It was all shot in film, not digitally, and he treated it as if it was a film, which was really cool.
Your Carl’s Jr. commercial has gone viral – did you know how big of a hit the commercial would be while filming it? I didn’t realize it was a Superman commercial until the last audition. I had no idea it was going to be as big of a hit as it was. I didn’t even know Zach Snyder – the director of Superman – was directing it. Did they keep that information from you on purpose? During the audition, they kept saying that some guy named “Zach” was directing it, but I just wasn’t putting two and two together. I really had no idea who it was. Even when we got on set, Zach was talking to me about the original Superman outfit, and I leaned in kind of quietly and asked, “So, did you work on the Superman project?” Zach kind of looked at me and smiled, then leaned in and said, “Yeah, I directed it.” It was a pretty funny moment. Oh no! Hopefully you recovered from that OK. I recovered a little bit. I was slightly embarrassed because here’s a guy who’s directed “300,” “Watchmen” and several other great films, and I just had no idea.
What was it like working with Henry Cavill and Zach Snyder? Did you learn anything from them? Zach is awesome to work with. He was super approachable, both before and after I knew it was Zach Snyder [laughs]. Actually, after I found out it was him he may have been even more approachable since we could share that funny moment. On the set, he gave me almost free reign. He’d come out and block where he wanted us to go, but other than that he told me to just do my thing. Henry is super humble. He’s very down to earth and easy to talk to. He doesn’t have the typical stuck-up Hollywood personality. You started out playing football professionally – how did you make the jump to entertainment? Initially I had no desire to be an actor. I wanted to play football and then return to school to get my law degree. While I was playing, I was also a fitness model. I was down in Jamaica doing a calendar, and the lady who was running the event kept telling me, “You have to go to Hollywood.” I laughed; everyone always says that, but it’s so crazy. After that, I thought about it and I thought about it, and on March 3, 2003 I just packed my car and drove out there. I didn’t even think twice about it. Wow! Was it a difficult switch? I think football and acting are actually very similar. You have to put in 110 percent all the time in order to get anything out of it. With football, the way you practice is the way you play. I look at it the same way with acting. If you’re not putting yourself out there, you’re never going to get better.
Totally useless fact: The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Do you have a favorite quote or motto that you live by? As I got older, I started reading more and I got into Shakespeare, and there’s a quote that goes, “The roads we choose dictate the lives we lead.” It’s pretty meaningful. It’s saying, “Don’t have any regrets. If you choose to go down this road, that’s the life you’re going to lead.” Looking forward, what are your plans for the future? Any more commercials on the horizon? I would love more commercials just because they pay so well [laughs]. Right now I have three projects that are all coming out in the next three months. I’ve got a show on the travel channel called “Travel Virgin,” which focuses on a guy who knows all about the world – he could literally tell you the height of Mt. Saint Helen off the top of his head – but has never left L.A. I’ve also got a film that I co-wrote, called and I’ve got a couple A-list celebrities working with me on that one. Last, I’ve got “Land of Goodbye,” which was inspired by the story of the husband who asked for a divorce and then found out his wife had cancer – you may have seen it on Facebook. So it sounds like a lot of excited things coming up. Absolutely. I just want to give a big thanks to everyone who’s been following me on my Twitter Guy24 and my Facebook. I didn’t know the Carl’s Jr. commercial would be such a hit, and obviously I didn’t do it, it’s the fans. I can’t thank you all enough.
Scan the code to watch Guy Nardulli’s new hit Carl’s Jr. Superman Commercial! campus talk
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september 2013
WHO STASHED THE CANDY?
flicks By daniel sutphin
Riddick WHAT: Action/Sci-Fi/Thriller WHO: Vin Diesel, Karl Urban,
Katee Sackhoff September 6 Betrayed by his people and left for dead on a sun-scorched planet, Riddick faces an alien race of predators. He activates an emergency beacon alerting two ships: one carrying a new breed of mercenary, and the other, captained by a man from Riddick’s past. Bounty hunters throughout the galaxy swarm on Riddick unknowingly playing into his greater scheme for revenge. Riddick launches a full-on attack before returning to his home planet to save it from destruction. See our interview with “Riddick” star Katee Sackhoff in this issue!
WHEN:
e Scan th
e coed e the
to s trailer!
The Family Insidious 2 WHAT: Horror/Thriller WHO: Patrick Wilson,
Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye WHEN: September 13 From the director of Saw, “Insidious 2” picks up where the first film left off. Still haunted by demons, the Lambert family works to uncover the mysterious childhood secret that has left them dangerously connected to the spirit world. campus talk
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september 2013
WHAT: Action/Comedy/Crime WHO: Robert De Niro, Dianna
Agron, Michelle Pfeiffer WHEN: September 13 After snitching on the mob, the Manzoni family is relocated to a quiet town in France under witness protection. Instead of laying low and trying to fit into the peaceful community, Fred (De Niro), wife, Maggie (Pfeiffer) and their children fall back to their old laurels handling problems the “family” way and blowing their cover.
Don Jon WHAT: Comedy WHO: Joseph Gordon-Levitt,
Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore WHEN: September 27 Directed by Gordon-Levitt, Don Jon is a basic New Jersey guy focused on family friends and church. Dissatisfied with his unrealistic expectations from watching porn, he decides to work to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love.
Salinger WHAT: Documentary WHO: Philip Seymour Hoffman,
Edward Norton, John Cusack WHEN: September 6 With an all star cast of actors and authors, this documentary explores the private world of J.D. Salinger, the reclusive author of “The Catcher in the Rye.”
Totally useless fact: Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate.
rent me!
Small Screen
Star Trek Into Darkness WHAT: Action Adventure Sci-Fi WHO: Benedict Cumberbatch, Chris Pine,
Zoe Saldana, Zachary Quinto WHEN: May 17 The Enterprise gets the call to return home. Upon arrival, they find an unknown threat within their own organization has destroyed the fleet and with it, everything for which it stands. With vendetta in mind, Captain Kirk heads a manhunt to a war-plagued region to capture the threat, testing himself, as well as the lives and relationships surrounding him.
Now You See Me WHAT: Thriller WHO: Morgan Freeman, Jesse Eisenberg,
Mark Ruffalo, Michael Caine WHEN: May 31 In a game of cat and mouse, a team of illusionists called “The Four Horsemen,” takes on the FBI, pulling off a series of heists against corrupt business leaders during their performances. They shower the stolen money over their audience after each heist while the FBI struggles to keep up.
Totally useless fact: Elephants can’t jump. Every other mammal can.
Iron Man 3 WHAT: Action Sci-Fi Thriller WHO: Robert Downey Jr.,
Guy Pearce, Gwyneth Paltrow
WHEN: May 3
The latest installment in the Iron Man series, quirky and arrogant industrialist Tony Stark (Downey Jr.), dishes out revenge on a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, who seems to be a step ahead at every turn. With his back against the wall, Stark must cling to survival, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect the people close to him.
World War Z WHAT: Action, Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller WHO: Brad Pitt, James Badge Dale,
Mireille Enos, David Morse WHEN: June 21 Based on a novel by Max Brooks, “World War Z” is a race-against-time thriller following Gerry Lane (Pitt) as he travels a world in chaos, trying to stop a zombie outbreak that is destroying armies and governments, with a threat to end humanity itself. campus talk
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september 2013
I’m not as think as you drunk I am
A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says, “Win $10,000; ask bartender for details.” He asks and the bartender says, “Well, you see that man at the end of the bar?” The drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. The bartender says, “If you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step. The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an alligator with a sore tooth. If you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three. Those stairs next to the door go up to an 80-year-old hooker’s apartment. She has never been satisfied by any man. If you can satisfy her, you win the money!” The drunk says okay and orders a double shot of whiskey. He belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW, knocks the big dude out. He orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for a few minutes and then total silence. Five minutes later, the drunk walks out of the room bloody, clothes shredded. He orders another double, drinks it and says, “Okay, where’s the hooker with the sore tooth?”
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september 2013
Totally useless fact: Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
S IE
T H
G I N
l C m IBU
p & MAL 9 omORGAN r f y TAIN M a d s AP C e , dn IRNOFF e W SM G y N r TURI e v E FEA
D A L
g n i os
Ladies 21 and up with a valid college ID drink free. Includes all well liquors, featured call brands, house wine, & Miller draft.
Open every day 11am - 2am 3950 Archer Rd. | Gainesville, Fl 352.371.0818 |
Totally useless fact: The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
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UNFORTUNEATE!
? E UN T OR .. F F AY. O S SS Nothing puts that button on some E I MSG-laced, coma-rendering Chinese OK UCIU O takeout, like the ever-informative, words C NF of “wisdom” found in a fortune cookie. O C The following are some of those cookies’ hidden gems (as well as a little commentary for further enjoyment)!
Only a (Only a ffooool seeks wisdom in dessert. stuff into co l writes messages to okies, if you ask me.) Rem well as beamber to share good fortune as d wi wrote this i th your friends. (Whoever s a terrible friend.)
There’s no n ordinary c such thing as a at. (…go on…?) You love C h w me so wellinese food. (You kno , dear cookie.)
You shou hold on tlod be able to make money and it. (“ operative Should” hbeing the word, here.)
You a (Suck it, rMe a person of another time. att Sm Doctor initth. There’s a new own.)
Time for manyansd patience are called urp (How does rises await you! words?)
Don’t look f. (But what down upon yoursel if I step in poop?)
90
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You are n o this is, in a t illiterate. (I guess way, a fortune .)
You alway s bring others happiness. (ALWAYS? T his changes eve rything…)
Totally useless fact: According to one study, 24% of lawns have some sort of lawn ornament in their yard.
NOW YOU’RE TALKIN’ America’s 5th best selling beer
©2010 Anheuser-Busch, Inc., Natural Light® Beer, St. Louis, MO
school days
The
Can you
Skip Class
Start Here:
Today?
is your grade dependent on attendance? Nah, just tests.
flow chart
Yeeess...
can you get notes from someone? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a lone wolf.
well, is there a test coming up?
Not for a while.
is this a class that affects other peoplesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; lives like, oh, i dunno... med school or law school classes???
Hell yeah!
Yes
is this class for your major?
Find yourself a pack.
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september 2013
Hahaha NEVER!
Maybe...
Dude, WTF???
No.
92
No.
go to Class!! Totally useless fact: Internationally, Baywatch is the most popular TV show in history.
school days
Do you already have a bunch of absences?
Yes.
Nope!
Is it at 8am or does the teacher just read from the book?
So many... No, Thank God!
Yeah, but...
That’s not so bad!
Can you walk to class?
Yes, BOTH! No
Wah, don’t make me!
is it raining?
One of these awful circumstances occurs.
Yes.
do you bike or take the bus?
do you drive a car or a scooter?
No.
Car
Scooter. Cats and Dogs! Ugh.
I’ll take that as a “yes.”
Good for you!
eh ... go and just doodle or something
Totally useless fact: “Witch” is a Saxon word meaning “wise one”.
do you have to be on campus all day anyway? it’s your lucky day
sleep in!
No, just for this one class.
I am so sorry.
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ducatio E n Because you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ALWAYS get by on looks alone.
AROUND ARO ROU RO OUN UND ND HE HHERE ERE ER RE
WE BELIEVE ©2013 A-B, Bud Light® Beer, St. Louis, MO