Wildling Magazine - Volume 6

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VOLUME 6

Š 2016 Wildling Magazine All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced by any means without prior written consent from the publisher, except for brief portions quoted for the purpose of review, as permitted by copyright law. www.wildlingmagazine.com info@wildlingmagazine.com Instagram @wildlingmagazine Facebook facebook.com/wildlingmagazine Front Cover image by Rebecca Lindon Back Cover image by Jon Canlas Inside Cover image by Summer Murdock Back Inside Cover image by Summer Murdock

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CONTENTS VOLUME 6 September 2016

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95

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Contributors

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Herbal Remedies For Colds

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Editor’s Note

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Fields Of Gold

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Life Lessons

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Preserving Culture

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Northwoods, Wisconsin

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Apolina Kids

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Motherhood And Me

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Rub A Tub Tub

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Learning To Be Brave

88 Montreal

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Kids Of Kathmandu

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Mamon

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Boo.B.Smoothie

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An Extraordinary Life

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Laos & Myanmar

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Letter To My Friend With Kids

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A Sleeping Baby

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CONTRIBUTORS Summer Murdock

www.summermurdock.com

Gretchen Willis www.gretchenwillisphotography.com Lou Gibbens www.instagram.com/loopygibbens Avril O’Shea www.ensemble-children.com Jami Saunders

www.kidsofkathmandu.org

Janine Payne www.littlemeteepee.com Paulina Jasniak

www.smallfacesltd.com

Natasha Richardson

www.nr-herbalist.com

Rebecca Lindon www.rebeccalindon.com Jon Canlas www.jonathancanlasphotography.com Rochelle Cheever www.rochellecheever.com Amy Campbell www.amyraephotography.com Jamie Jupp www.jamiejupp.tumblr.com Chanelle Segerius-Bruce www.segeriusbrucecoaching.com

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Image by Amy Campbell

EDITOR’S NOTE

My love of print was born out of an obsession with magazines throughout my teens and a degree in journalism which led me to become part of that industry during my adult life. Our original plan with Wildling was to create a beautiful, tangible journal that could be kept, shared, passed on to friends and referred back to when a new parenting issue arose. However, at the present time, the cost of print has become a burden on our fledgling business and as a result, we are transitioning into a digital format.

Our content will still be strong, emotive and carefully considered. Our imagery will still be luminous and inspirational but, for now, Wildling Magazine will exist in an online space. Whilst there is a tinge of sadness in not seeing the two latest volumes in a physical format, there is also a joy in taking our message out to a much wider global audience and sharing our stories for free.

If you love Wildling then please do continue to spread the word and I do hope that at some point, we will be delving back into the world of print, with an ever-expanding readership behind us.

Rebecca Lindon Editor-in-Chief

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LIFE LESSONS PHOTOGRAPHY ESSAY words and images by Summer Murdock

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It is super important to me to teach my kids how much more rewarding experiences are, vs. things.

Our culture is so obsessed with consumer-based activities yet these kinds of things always tend to leave me unfulfilled and even feeling empty. The things my kids remember most from our summer activities are always the cool experiences we had and not that time we went out to dinner, shopping, or even to the movies. Don’t get me wrong, we do all of these activities sometimes too but they usually aren’t all that memorable and definitely don’t teach my kids life lessons. Being outside in nature can really help to build kids’ self-confidence, and teaches them about their limits. Going on hikes that are not always physically easy teaches them that they are capable of doing hard things and that the reward at the end of hard work is worth it. Some kids will resist and not want to push themselves. Some will have more fear of the outdoors than others, but make them push through their fears and just do it. That is where the magic happens in all aspects of life….you HAVE to push through. Being outside and freely exploring also fosters creativity and problem solving. My kids don’t all jump for joy every time I tell them what we are going on one of our adventures. Sometimes I am met with moans and groans….but… almost every single time that I ignore those complaints and do it anyways, by the time we get in the car to go home they are all saying things like “thanks for taking us Mom. That was so much fun.” If you give your kids these experiences on a regular basis, there is no way that they won’t fall in love with the outdoors. I think an appreciation for the majesty of nature is in every human being but it’s something that might take time to develop.

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NORTHWOODS, WISCONSIN TRAVEL ESSAY words and photography by Gretchen Willis

Our family takes an annual camping trip each summer. Although it can be a lot of work, it’s so worth it in the end. We’ve created so many special memories together. Especially in today’s world, where it seems like every experience has to be bigger, faster, brighter…. it’s nice to slow down and take each day wherever it leads us, with no agenda and at a relaxed pace.

My husband is a big camping buff, so he really enjoys planning for our trip and gathering up all the camping gear. Some things we’ve bought specially for our trip – like packable towels and cookware.

Other things we recycle from home, like using old milk jugs and filling with water from a local spring to bring water in to the campground with us. We pack necessary but light: hiking shoes are a must as well as a rain parka; sandals are handy for a quick run from the campfire to the tent and back.

My role in the camping trip is to plan meals and set up tents. We try to have a few meals that are genuine camp meals – fish caught in a stream and then cooked over a campfire, for example; we also have some easy meals for the days we’re all too pooped to make a big to-do – like PB&J sandwiches or hot dogs. Setting up tents, for me, feels like what I love to do: make our living space into a homey retreat. Erecting tents in just the right location, rolling out sleeping bags, and sweeping out the tent are actually fun for me, partly because it’s at the beginning of our vacation. While I’m working I find myself daydreaming about all the activities we’ll do, all the things we’ll see.

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Having six children along for the trip – ages 16 all the way down to 6 months – can become chaotic. We try to roll with the punches. For example, we cloth diaper the baby at home but for the trip we decided to bring disposables along. We saw lots of kids riding bikes on the bike paths and we considered bringing ours as well, but packing 8 bikes along with all our gear seemed just overwhelming. So we stuck to hiking. Every year, when we bring our kids, we have to remind ourselves that their expectations are different than ours. We want to open their eyes to new experiences but they each have their own agendas: one wants to find a wi-fi spot; one wants to catch a frog; another wants to take a nap; yet another wants to just sit in the tent and read all day. Being a big family is all about taking turns and learning to go with the flow. We’ll do your activity now, and later you do our activity. Sometimes the plans we have get changed on a moment’s notice, and we learn how to be patient. We ALL learn how to be patient. It’s a challenge but it’s also a lesson worth learning.

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MOTHERHOOD AND ME PERSONAL ESSAY words and photography by Lou Gibbens

The rite of passage from maiden to mother begins, for most, when that little blue line appears slowly on the pregnancy test. All at once you’re presented with a multitude of feelings, often conflicting and contradictory, to process and understand. A tiny, but powerful secret contained deep within as you take your first shaky step over an unknown threshold. Your daytime thoughts become consumed with learning about how best to nourish your unborn child and your blossoming self, while your imagination allows you to picture yourself, and maybe your partner too, in your new role as a parent. For most it’s a time of great anticipation and excitement.

Friends, work colleagues, family - all offer advice and share experiences – whether you want them to or not. You attend prenatal classes on what to expect during labour and birth. You might attend a pregnancy yoga or hypnobirthing class.

You spend more time than you care to admit to, reading birth stories and watching videos of beautiful, healthy babies born peacefully into water. With any luck you probably feel excited, supported and knowledgable.

But despite all of this, nothing and no one can prepare you for how the birth of your first child changes absolutely everything. No one warns you that motherhood can both define you and break you irrevocably all at the same time.

The evening we arrived back home from the hospital with our first baby I wept uncontrollably.

Aged 32, I felt totally unequipped to look after him; utterly out of my depth. Though I felt enormous love for my baby, I also felt overwhelmed and resentful. I was both smitten

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and terrified. This helpless, needy ‘bundle of joy’ became my entire world but also a wedge, driven hard and fast between me and myself.

I no longer felt like ‘Me’. I was no longer ‘Myself ’.

No one had mentioned anything about this part of becoming a mother. Nobody had warned me which only served to compound the issue and cause me to question whether I was even worthy of the job. Every minute leading up to the arrival earthside of my firstborn had felt agonisingly slow with anticipation. And yet here I was now thinking that the whole thing must have been some huge mistake because I was unravelling.

In those first few precious weeks I was too sleep deprived and milk-drenched to fully notice that the old me – the real me – had gone. But when the newborn fog lifted, it was as though I suddenly realised, with a sense of panic, that ‘I’ was nowhere to be found. All around me people behaved as though nothing had really changed, that I was still the same person as before, and their expectations of me were pretty much as they’d always been. As a result I spent months frantically searching for myself. It took a long time for me to realise that girl no longer existed, the acceptance of which was not dissimilar to grieving the loss of a loved one; acknowledging the sinking feeling that you’re never, ever going to see that person again. It’s also fair to say that my husband was forced to very slowly come to the same realisation. With hindsight I now understand why most relationships hit rock bottom sometime before a child reaches the age of 3. Everything, everything changes.

When I was 10 months post-partum my doctor prescribed anti-depressants for what he diagnosed as PND. They helped but to this day I don’t believe I was depressed due to an hormonal imbalance. I didn’t display or feel any of the more typical symptoms of depressive illness. I was simply unsupported and alone in what, for me, was a very painful transition from maiden to mother. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t have an especially straightforward birth and experienced difficulties with establishing breastfeeding.

Maybe it’s because, at age 32, my sense of self was stable, concrete and dependable, and therefore I had further to fall. It’s simply possible that the monotony and daily grind of early parenthood weren’t best suited to my active, energetic, anxious mind. I’d always found myself in situations where I was looked after, comforted, my needs being met by others. To all of a sudden be thrust into the ultimate role of sacrifice and selflessness was overwhelming. As I write this I find myself wondering how many other mothers at the baby groups I used to attend had a smile on their face but an ache in their hearts?

In less than a month it will be 10 years since I became a mother, but it’s only in the last year that I’ve come to fully accept that I am forever changed and that this is OK. But it’s a sad fact that my difficulties in processing this natural and necessary shift robbed me of years of greater contentment. Time, and a second child (the attachment to whom was instantaneous and strong), helped to bring me to this place of healing, but no longer feeling isolated in my experiences grew from a simple invitation to become part of an online women’s group.

The topic for discussion was ‘Motherhood & Identity’*. Out of curiosity I accepted the invitation, and what I witnessed was incredible.

Women of all ages, sharing their deepest, most intimate selves and their personal experiences surrounding the transition to Mother.

Without exception, the birth of a first child had been a profound and defining moment for all.

Their stories went much further and far deeper than more common-place discussions regarding parenting style and maternal love.

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For some, the transition to mother was life-changing in an entirely positive way; a feeling that they were simply ‘born to do this’ and that their previous self was the fragile, unrooted one. But for just as many, if not more, there were tales told that resonated deeply with my own. Each woman began inviting others to join and share, feeling so uplifted that they were then compelled to spread the word. The momentum gained - and the benefits of being open, vulnerable and authentic - were palpable.

The sharing of my story, and meeting with some of the other women who gave so generously of their spirit, has been genuinely restorative and empowering. I’m so grateful that a wonderful, wise and deeply intuitive friend thought to extend that invitation to share and connect. But I also feel disappointed for my younger self, and all those other first time mothers, who lack this type of feminine support to ease them through such an emotional transition. I’m absolutely sure the journey could be made to feel wonderful for so many more if it was only talked about openly and celebrated with understanding. In many cultures around the world the 40 days following a birth are witness to a period of confinement where mother and child are protected within a sacred and supportive environment. There’s an Indian saying ‘the first 40 days of life will impact the next 40 years of life’ and maybe this is as true for the newborn mother as it is for the newborn child. So culturally divorced are we now in our modern lives that the help and information families are given focuses almost entirely on pregnancy, birth, feeding, and the health of the baby. Whilst this support is invaluable, when you arrive home as a new mother with the rest of your now unrecognisable life stretching ahead of you, you absolutely need your tribe. Women are hard wired for connection, compassion and mutual support. We’re not designed to struggle on alone and I believe this is never more true than when you become a mother.

*the temporary Facebook group’s original purpose was to serve as a springboard for discussion which would later feed into a face-to-face gathering as part of Folkestone’s WOW (Women of the World) Festival in March 2016. To learn more about The Motherhood and Identity Project and to read some of the stories please visit https://themotherhoodandidentityproject.wordpress.com I recommend a lovely and easy-to- read book (because we all know that one of the first things to go once you become a mum is the ability to read books like you did before): ‘Mama, Bare – the birth of mother’ by Kristen Hedges www.happysleepyfolks.com

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LEARNING TO BE BRAVE PERSONAL ESSAY words by Avril O’Shea and photography by Rebecca Lindon

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On a recent trip to visit my father in Kerry, I watch my darling girl Beatrice scuttle like a crab over the boulders on the beach; she starts off slowly on low rocks barely peeping out of the sand, and as she grows with confidence, she races on, over higher more jagged stone.

My heart begins to beat faster and I feel scared that her confidence is greater than her control.

I panic, clambering after her as she nears the drop into the sea, scared as she laughs and runs further away. The sun is shining and it is a beautiful moment. She is like every other four year old; fearless and thirsty to explore. I stand there with the same mixture of pride and fear as every other mother. For just a moment I think of our first few days, of my small scrawny baby, in an incubator. An NG tube to feed her, unable to latch, pumping day and night because I could do so little for her. I can’t quite believe that this is the child she has become.

The story of Beatrice’s arrival and our coming to terms with her diagnosis of Down Syndrome is no different to other stories I have read over the years. The main themes are always the same: your child is different and we are sad for you, your life isn’t going to be the same, it will be less, your child is a burden and the resources are limited so don’t expect too much of us; the available support services or lack of them, your child who will never really measure up.

But this simply isn’t true. Diminutive only in stature, she has the most beautiful eyes, an infectious smile, quick witted, charming and cheeky, always searching for mischief but also helpful and kind. She is fierce, quick tempered and sometimes spiteful…but then so am I; so are many people. She is like every other child.

It has just taken a longer time to reach each milestone, and Bea is getting there on her own terms. Our second child Gabriel has sailed past each milestone and developmentally they are at a similar point. Gabe’s speech and communication

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are much clearer, but Bea has this incredible social radar that distinguishes her as the older sibling. She works people out quickly, hates when people are over friendly, and for the most part ignores them until she decides they might be interesting enough to warrant her attention.

It has been so frustrating that others’ initial expectations for Bea’s progress seemed to be so low. For a while you work within these parameters; you are dealing with experts, so they must be right, right? It took a long time for me to realise that they aren’t the experts, that we are the experts.

We have worked hard at building Bea’s confidence, and so we cherish it. Her hearing impairment, developmental delay and our rural life have meant that she can find busy environments completely overwhelming. The sensory overload has been too much for her to manage, so we have practised; gone to busy places over and over again, until she became familiar and comfortable. As a family it has at times been nearly impossible, but we have refused to allow these difficulties to narrow our lives, or most importantly to narrow Beatrice’s ability to experience everything in life. It is something we will always be working on, helping her to go outside of what she is comfortable with, to be brave. But she is teaching us the same thing as well. Especially since her and Gabriel are now so close in ability, both independent, and defiant - each refusing to go in a buggy, and both demanding to be carried or wanting to walk off in different directions. It is easier to stay at home, where they are comfortable. But we can’t live in a bubble, so with the help of Bea’s signed demands for outings to the beach, I frequently have to make myself take them out, regardless of how hairy the whole thing might be, just to prove to myself that I can. As Bea starts school this month, it will be all change again.

Bea wears jumpsuit by Apolina Kids.

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It is impossible to differentiate between what I’ve learnt because of her diagnosis and what I’ve learnt from growing into my role as a mother of two children. There is a plethora of contradictions. Being Bea’s mother has made me really vulnerable, but at the same time it has helped me to find my voice, to question things, but at the same time to accept some things as they are and to enjoy the moments as they come. There are aspects that are harder; the appointments, the paperwork, fighting her corner so that she can have her place in society in a way that we don’t need to for our son. Although integration is this buzzword we hear so often, the funding and education required to make it happen is harder to come by. It deeply saddens me that on occasions I have been reduced to breaking point to get Bea the support she needs, but this isn’t reflective of my child, this is a reflection of austerity, funding for social care and ill-considered policies that leave councils with little room to manoeuvre.

In our cut back laden, cost-driven society, only treatments available on the NHS are discussed or recommended to parents. When we have gone outside of public services and tried therapies that aren’t funded with good results, we have been met with phrases such as ‘oh yes, I have heard that can be really successful’ yet no one suggests it. Or the wild crazy-lady frustration I’ve felt when sat in a Doctor’s office, with a series of contradicting letters lined up, fired up after many phone calls and prepared with all conceivable information to explain and prove my point. Only to be told that the doctor doesn’t have the files available so can’t give an answer. But that it would be looked into and we would be updated, only for this not to happen directly and a note to be made in the follow-up report that I was tearful and struggling with the practicalities of living with a child with Down Syndrome.

I think I am for the most part measured and reasonable, even if I don’t feel that way. But this is the system we are faced with and being fair, it is hard to hold anyone responsible for our negative experiences and we can’t be more grateful for the positive ones; for the people that held us up when we needed them. But I can’t help but feel in this age of austerity, access to health provisions for anyone with a life changing diagnosis is all about the parameters, the little boxes that need to be ticked, outside of which many professionals are too stretched and too tired to offer more. To judge them harshly would be to forget that they too are human, that they are fragile and exhausted as well, but to not become infuriated by the system is nearly impossible. We are fortunate that our girl has such a spark, it helps to rally us and reminds me why we are learning to carve out our own path, to question the accepted ideas that are thrust upon us and to have faith in our child. That she will learn, that she will thrive.

We have had some catastrophes but doesn’t everyone have those horrifying moments when their skin prickles with embarrassment and they feel close to tears as they try to coax an unwilling child to do anything they have decided against? I laughed so hard at Bea’s sweetness during one such day.

Gabriel our youngest was lying on the floor of our local greengrocers because I wouldn’t let him take bites out of apples before putting them back on the display, and shock horror, stopped him from running outside onto the road. It was busy, we were running late and it was more than apparent that we weren’t endearing ourselves to other waiting customers. I tried to negotiate, cajole, considered throwing myself down next to him. Catching my eye, a picture of concern, with both hands Bea gestured to calm down, ‘its awright, its awright’ she shushed me as I have done many times before with scuffed knees and banged heads. Her sweetness mellowed the fellow customers, and distracted Gabe from his tears. They developed momentum both shouting ‘its awright, its awright’ and laughing at themselves, the crisis averted. The important thing here is that she understands, emotions and

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their context, at four she is not so ego centric that she can’t empathise, a lesson that has taken some of us much longer to learn, and when needed she is as soothing as a balm.

We thought when Bea was born and diagnosed with Down Syndrome that it was the end of life as we knew it, but I feel I can safely say now that motherhood is the end of life as you know it. When something pops up on my Facebook feed along the lines of ‘I laugh when my friends who don’t have children say that they are tired’ it really makes me smile, because regardless of the challenges that we face, motherhood changes everyone. The lack of sleep, the desperate desire to have five minutes peace is like nothing you could imagine beforehand, and the instinct to protect, shelter and nurture another being more ferociously than you could ever stand up for yourself changes you. Like every parent I have fears for my daughters future, the greatest being the fear that she should ever walk with shoulders slumped from feeling like she doesn’t have a place in society. From the weight of judgements made by people who don’t understand that she is no less an individual than they are. So everyday we teach both of our children that they are ‘special’ and that they are loved.

Bea wears jumpsuit by Apolina Kids.

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KIDS OF KATHMANDU PERSONAL ESSAY words and photography by Jami Saunders

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I didn’t intentionally set out to create a nonprofit organisation. I went to Nepal with my co-founder Andrew Raible in 2010 and volunteered in an orphanage for two weeks. As a photographer, of course I was always taking pictures. And when we came back to the states we decided to have a fundraiser to send any funds possible back to the kids. I developed such a love for them after two weeks, that I thought, ‘I don’t want this to just be a trip I did and that it ends there’. Knowing what their situation was like, I knew I had to do more. So we printed large photographs, and we invited furniture designers to design and donate unique children’s desks. We auctioned everything off and ended up making more money than we had planned.

At that point we said, ‘let’s make this a reality’.

Eighteen months later we officially became a New York based charity for Nepal.

Our initial mandate was, and still is, focused on education. With our first funds raised, we moved the kids from a poorly performing public school to a better-established private school. However, we quickly realised that good education cannot exist in a vacuum. The kids need to be healthy.

So we began to fund monthly food, with more vegetables and more protein than they were having. We have been funding 3000 meals a month since 2011. We also installed a solar light panel system in 2012. The kids were walking around with little candle stubs in the dark, attempting to study, to wash dishes and brush their teeth like that. We were so happy when we could give them light. The quality of life change is incredible. We have also installed a clean water and hot water system at the orphanage. Each step is incredibly rewarding - to see the kids healthier and stronger, doing well in school… and the coming together of so many people to For the first few years we focused on the help make it happen, it’s very special. orphanage where we originally volunteered.

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I have learned a great deal from the children about love and family. The children at our orphanage project may have lost their parents, but they are all sisters and brothers to each other. They cheer each other on in school, in sports and in life like nothing I have ever seen. I remember one of our first trips, when we brought a lot of our clothing over to give away, and the kids lined up nicely, putting themselves in order of who they thought deserved new clothes first. When one of my shirts came up in a size that fit one of the little girls better than the shirt she had been given, she gave me back the original one and took the new. She didn’t even consider taking two. I was floored. She knew her brothers and sisters had not all received something yet. It was incredible. Another time, we had only enough new shoes to give to half of the orphanage. Again, they lined up in order of who they thought needed it most, leaving space in the line for kids that were missing on that day and needed shoes. It is absolutely beautiful to see the way they look out for each other - how they get each other dressed in the morning, doing each other’s hair, helping to mend each other’s sweaters.

There is no “mine!” mentality. That kind of love and respect for each other constantly amazes me and influences my choices when I return back to New York.

The people of Nepal are incredible open hearted. They are joyful. They are spiritual. They value family. They value relationships and they prioritise all of this over material want and desire. Perhaps it is because a material life is so hard to come by in a place like Nepal. But I think this is a perspective that is refreshing and enlightening for those of us in the Western world. I know when I come back to New York, I try to hold on to what Nepalis teach me over and over each time I go… gratefulness for the present, the joy in the small things that are actually not small at all, feeling close to your world physically - by gardening or growing plants, eating fresh food, homemade food, with friends and family - and giving even when you feel like you might not have much to give.

With giving comes joy and Nepalis have taught me a level of joy and warmth that you cannot buy with all of the money in the world.

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We are in the midst of our biggest project yet, and our new future. After an earthquake hit Nepal in April of 2015, killing almost 9000 people and destroying thousands of schools, we quickly banded together with our main partner at the orphanage; AFN (Asia Friendship Network) and proposed a plan to the Ministry Of Education to build new schools. We partnered with shop architects in New York who donated the designs, and we built an incredible network of programs around clean water, libraries, technology and hygiene and were granted to build 50 new schools.

In November of this year, we are hoping to have the first 9 of these schools finished. The next wave of 11 are slated to break ground in the beginning of 2017. It’s incredibly exciting to see these schools go up in a country that has lost so much, but that is still filled with so much hope. To me, these schools provide a sign that they are not forgotten. They may be living in the hills of Nepal, where much of their village was essentially destroyed during the earthquake, but their community is cared about, their children, their future is important. These schools will be a centerpiece in the village, and a symbol of a brighter future becoming a reality.

In building these 50 new schools, we hope to bring a place where children can dream a reality. If children can dream, they can become. They can rise above some of the dangers that lie in simply being born into a country where the choices and opportunities are limited. Where unfortunately bad things do happen to children such as child trafficking and child marriage. Children in countries such as Nepal are vulnerable to so much. If we can educate these children, we can hope they make better choices for themselves. They can get themselves out of the cycle. They can choose to have families later, and when they are mothers and fathers they can, in turn, impress upon the next generation the importance of education, of creating a life of independence for themselves and their families. and they can make a difference on their own.

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BOO.B.SMOOTHIE ARTISAN PROFILE words by Siaba Tumoe and photography by Annelie Popovic

I did a degree in Psychology and Early Childhood Studies. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it but I knew I wanted to work with children. After graduating I went on to be a teaching assistant in order to learn more about the teaching profession.

I did that for a year and a half then decided I wanted to train as a teacher. To be honest, the decision was based more on the fact that all my teaching assistant friends were leaving the school to train as teachers and I didn’t want to be the only one left behind.

It was a half-hearted decision so it was no suprise that after the training I decided teaching wasn’t for me. I knew I wouldn’t last long in the profession because it was highly stressful and life consuming. So, I applied for a private nanny / tutor role where I worked 50+ hours per week, up until I was 9 months pregnant with Mannie. I enjoyed it and all that walking up and down with the children kept me in shape during pregnancy.

The idea of Boo.B.Smoothie came about so naturally it’s almost like it was my God given purpose on this earth. After having my son I had problems with my milk supply. My mother began feeding me certain foods to help increase milk supply. It didn’t take long for my milk supply to increase and I wanted to know more about the foods she fed me, so I began researching them. I found out these foods were called lactogenic foods. The more I researched them, the more my interest grew. Soon after, my mum returned to work and was unable to cook me all those lovely lactogenic foods so I started making smoothies out of the ingredients

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because I had little time to cook as a new mum.

My milk supply was so good I was able to feed my son and pump several times a day. When a friend of mine had problems with her milk supply I didn’t think twice about supplying her with a week’s worth of smoothie. She called me at the end of the week saying she had so much milk her breasts were engorged which had never happened before. “What do you put in them Siaba? They work amazingly you should sell them”. I took that statement and ran with it and that’s how it all started.

I can’t talk for all of the western world, but from my understanding a lot of new parents are left to cope without close family support after bringing a baby home. I find it very strange because I’m originally from West Africa (Sierra Leone) and in our culture as soon as a woman gives birth, her mother or the father’s mother moves in with them to take care of the new parents and baby. It is the grandmother’s role to teach and show the new parents as many practical coping strategies as possible. She acts like the ultimate live-in nanny. She cooks and cares for the baby so the parents can rest, cares for the parents and cleans. The parents’ only responsibility is to settle into their new routine and learn as much as possible about their new baby. It is a tradition that makes me very proud to be West African and one that is upheld regardless of where in the world we live. People fly grandmothers all over the globe to recieve their care after a baby is born. Things like post-natal depression and postpartum psychosis are pretty much unheard of in our culture because of the 24-hour care we

receive after birth. So much fuss is made over a woman whilst she is pregnant and then she gives birth and it feels like the attention shifts to the baby. I understand why but I honestly feel like after birth is when women need the most attention and support. It’s when she has the most questions, when her anxiety levels are likely to shoot up and when she needs the most rest.

Boo.B.Smoothie wouldn’t exist if I didn’t have my son, Mannie. It’s very much inspired by him. He didn’t give up on me when I wasn’t producing enough milk. He wasn’t interested in formula at all so it made me feel like what I was producing was the best; even if it wasn’t a lot. Other than breastfeeding just watching him learn and develop day to day inspires me.

He’s so determined and very persistent when he’s Google can not replace the presence of another learning something new; a bit like his mum. person at home with a new mother. It doesn’t help that in the UK, fathers only get 2 weeks Motherhood has changed the very core of me. off work after their babies are born. It means Before my son I was a bit selfish and rightly so!! I mothers are left alone to care for babies very grew up as an only child and I’ve only ever been early. It is obscene in my opinion. My advice to responsible for myself. Yes, I worked as a nanny new mothers is to make as many friends in your and with young children but outside of that I same position as possible and stay connected was my only responsibility. Now if there is only throughout the day. Don’t stop talking, use the a little bit of food left in the fridge I know it’s professional resources available to you to get for my son. I will go without as long as he is fed. advice and get out the house as much as possible. That’s what motherhood does to your brain. You think baby first, me after.

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In terms of my career, motherhood has made me I’ve learned that it’s not about me and what I more focused. I have to stay focused and work think about his father, it’s about him and the hard because I have to provide for my son. Child relationship he deserves with his father. support money can only go so far!!

The biggest lesson of all for me has been not My son’s dad and I co-parent and it’s been a to give up on myself because my son is always very rocky road for us. It actually requires us to watching and learning from me. It’s why I’m communicate more than a couple raising a child trying my hardest to make better decisions, look together, and that’s been very difficult. At every after my body and mind. I am his first role model stage when I’ve thought to myself ‘I can’t do this and I can’t tell him to do anything I don’t do, so I shit anymore’, I’ve had to think about my son. have to be the best me so he can be the best him About how happy he will be that I stuck at it in later life. My son has literally saved me from when he is much older and has both his parents just coasting through life. Now I want better and at all his school plays, celebrations and wherever do better for him. he wants us. www.boo-b-smoothie.co.uk 43

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LAOS & MYANMAR TRAVEL ESSAY words and photography by Janine Payne

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This summer, we took an independent family cycle tour of Laos and Myanmar lasting 8 weeks.

Cycle touring is already familiar to my husband and I. On our last long trip just before I fell pregnant with Vivienne, we cycled over 4500 miles through China, Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia and Nepal. But this was the first long tour we had been on with our daughter, who will be 4 this October.

We had a basic plan, consisting of an entry and exit point (Bangkok) and a rough idea of the key places we wanted to try and reach. With this type of travel, it’s always best not to set too much of an agenda; schedules move for many reasons - and sometimes you just want to stop and explore a place longer than you anticipated.

We were also unsure of the distances we would be able to travel and how long Vivienne would be content to be in the trailer. As it turns out, she was as laid back about the experience as we could have hoped for. She endured being out for long rides of over 140kms and was content with taking in the landscape, singing, talking and offering up words of encouragement to us on long hard days, sometimes up to 12 hours cycling. We also gave her a basic camera and a journal to record her own memories in picture form.

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The reason my husband and I both choose to be self employed, is to give us the maximum amount of flexibility to take periods of extended leave and spend quality time as a family away from work.

We love to travel. I especially love the act of travel; getting from one place to another. For me, it is what lies between A and B that is the most inspiring. It’s about the journey itself, not just the destination.

This is why travelling by bicycle is such a perfect way to go. It’s slow, deliberately so. You look the people and the landscape right in the eye and stops are frequent. We have a strong desire to teach our daughter about the world and to introduce her to independent travel at such a young age is something we have relished.

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Before we departed we marked out a general route, and undertook the necessary medial preparations knowing we would be without access to good medical care for most of the trip. We took far fewer risks than when it was just my husband and I travelling. We had a small rucksack each and two pannier bags per bike containing all we needed. Vivienne travelled in a Thule Chinnok trailer, by far one of the best family purchases we have made.

Flying into Bangkok we stopped for a night for some much needed respite after a busy work schedule leading up to the trip. The next leg of our trip was on the night train to the Laos border. The noise, heat and anticipation filled our conversations with excitement of what was yet to come. Disembarking a short ride from the Thai-Laos border, it already felt like the most natural thing to be doing as a family.

The cycling began with a short ride to cross our first border and the Friendship Bridge into Laos.

Cycling in Laos is tough, steep mountain passes seem endless and days bring soaring temperatures with limited shade. But these conditions have their rewards, the country offers quiet roads peppered with villages so there is always a spot to get water, fresh food and excellent company and time to talk with the locals. The landscape is staggering; dense jungle running as far as you can see looking back over that momentous mountain range you have just crossed.

Our 4-week journey through Laos took us through the heart of the land and then North-West to the boarder with Thailand. It’s currently not possible to cross directly from Laos to Myanmar so we had a two-day ride across the northern tip of Thailand, which is beautiful in itself, to reach the Thai border with Myanmar.

A journey though northern Myanmar deservedly fulfills the travel cliche of stepping back in time. The countryside is crossed with basic roads where local traffic is a mix of trishaws and ox and cart. People work the land by hand, cut roads by hand and an endless stream of school children and monks line the sides with green and gold.

People here are restrained and polite. They avert their gaze at the sight of a strange family passing through their village, but catch their eye and the widest of smiles shines through. Stop for a chat and you discover a nature of immense grace, warmth and generosity. Hardships aren’t difficult to find, the continued atrocities are something we can’t begin to comprehend and it would feel wrong to remark on these here. But what I will say is that in spite of this hardship, we witnessed a country full of diversity with so much spirit to rise up and build their own future. It’s overwhelming.

We always felt safe, we were looked after and were so warmly welcomed everywhere we went. Yes there were roads we couldn’t travel, this is a country still in active conflict, but ask in any village and they will let you know a safe route so you don’t enter any unsafe region.

We spent a month in Myanmar taking us from the north, across the heart of the country. From peaceful Inle Lake, up and over the central plains to the staggering beauty of the Bagan. And then it was down into the south where the landscape began to change, and the kindness of the people continued to grow. Strangers running from their homes to offer us food and water. At every stop a new friend made.

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The final part of our journey took us deep into the south of the country, somewhere only recently opened up to tourists. We spent our final week on the southern coast where we found unspoiled beaches we thought no longer possible, fishing villages, virgin jungle and unique communities. We spent our days exploring the villages and uninhabited coves, riding over high hill passes from which the jungle opens out into dusty white beaches.

We were lucky enough to spend a few nights directly on the beach. Just a bamboo platform and a mosquito net making us truly at one with nature. Our days were spent hunting for beach treasure and the nights swimming with lightning plankton. Vivienne really came into her own here; helping our local host fish, enjoying walks into the jungle and delighting at the wildlife. It really was nature’s playground at it’s best.

Travelling to remote places with young children isn’t for everyone; but venture off grid and the rewards are plentiful. Yes, you have to be aware of the risks and take precautions, you could be some days travel from reasonable medical care. You also need to be prepared that finding accommodation can be tough and your plans will inevitably change. We did encounter a few issues but we were able to deal with them and put them down to part of the experience. The whole trip was a complete joy. Vivienne adapted so well to life on the road and was never phased by the situations we found ourselves in. She has flourished with the experience. Planning for the next trip is already underway.

Travelling by bicycle is nothing new to our family, but this was the first long tour we had taken. Our life is pretty spontaneous and we travel frequently, so we had no concerns about Vivienne adapting to life on the road but the ease of which she left behind home comforts and how she was so exhilarated by the experience, was such a joy to see. Knowing we have a family unit which is strong and unaffected by its surroundings gives me the greatest of joys. We lived and breathed each other for the duration of the summer, and came home stronger because of it.

I was struck by the ease with which children can break down any language and cultural barrier within moments of meeting. There is always a common interest, making something to play with, a simple game of chase - discovering that we are all of the same make up. Watching Vivienne quickly start a new companionship or joining in with an established group was a joy.

We have noticed a real change in Vivienne since returning home. She is more considerate and much more in tune with the needs of others.

Her understanding and interest in how all things come to be has deepened immensely. The composition of the clothes she wears, who may have made them. The food we eat and the impact this has on nature.

She’s a highly inquisitive child and Laos and Myanmar are both countries where all aspects of life are so exposed, laid bare in front of you. As such we encountered a lot of questions from her and it was a joy to speak frankly and lovingly about how things come to be.

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At just 3 years old, it’s unlikely Vivienne will remember the small details of the trip, but we do know that it will carry with her always. We will continue to give her a sense of knowing the joy of taking time to explore the world we live in.

This doesn’t have to be on the other side of the world, in her own street, town, country. We will continue to make slow, sustainable travel a foundation of our family. To keep looking up and out, to engage with the world and not just pass through.

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A SLEEPING BABY PERSONAL ESSAY words and drawings by Paulina Jasniak

A sleeping baby. The whole Universe shuts down leaving nothing but silence. Regular sighs and smiles cross her face while she breathes with no hastiness, so different from what I know, what I’ve seen in adults. Her eyes closed, rolling gently under the lids, watching quiet scenes that remain secret.

These soundless moments inspire me. I look and observe: her tiny feet with rounded toes and soft nails, organic shapes in morning light, subtle and warm; lines that guide my sight through her posture. I feel an urge to explore this delicacy, I’m memorising the directions of her body, the movement of her stillness and the rhythm of her mouth, opening and closing: air in, air out.

I’m learning, getting to know her physics and seeing her personality in every spot and dimple. Each moment is different and there’s so much life in her – even when she’s asleep. Seconds turn into minutes and then – all of the sudden – she moves and all’s gone, making my drawing a vision of the past rather than a record of the present.

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The lines. The colours. The air of these morning naps – it all becomes memories and I’m collecting them chaotically, not wanting to miss a single thing. It’s summer; tiny drops of sweat adorn her forehead. It makes me think of the feel of her skin on the day she was born. Soft and sticky, so unprepared for this new world; she made me protective and caring. And now, here I am, with a pencil in my hand, armed against the passing time. She’s already more a girl than a baby and what feels important is not catching her features, but showing the change she represents. The way these lines transform from one day to another fascinates me and I wish I could draw her constantly, even when she’s awake – but again, I want to be present. So I make her sleep my meditation and stick to the intimacy of the space between my drawings and her dreams, my favourite time of the day.

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I see myself in her lips, her closed eyes look just like her dad’s. The history of our family is written in her face and I’m reading it verse by verse. This softness is her lack of experience: her hands still have thousands of structures to try and touch, her feet will walk miles. They are smooth now but time will add new lines to her palms and days will change the shape of her body, strengthening the muscles beneath her skin and tinting her veins green and purple, forming tree-like images under her wrists, elbows and knees.

Repeating and following her forms, shapes and lines is the way I express all my love for this tiny creature. Pictures of her fill my diary and mix with words and dates; it all stays there and will be revisited one day. I hope to remember, to be able to recall what I feel now; to record this story of our lives together. Intimate - that’s the word. I’m here with her.

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HERBAL REMEDIES FOR COLDS RECIPE words and images by Natasha Richardson

I wasn’t raised on my grandmothers medicine. My family doesn’t know much about herbs. When I got sick as a child I was given Calpol. It tasted nice, had a funky colour; I’ve got no complaints really.

But as a teen, with a passion for the great outdoors, Arthurian legends, mythical beasts and Greek Goddesses, I was bound to figure out at some point that all those fantasy novels I’d read, where a woman makes a potion from special plants in the forest, wasn’t just a fantasy.

But learning my trade wasn’t as magical as I’d imagined. I didn’t get taken on as an apprentice to a grand old woman living in a hobbit house in the woods. I did a degree.... Yawn! But now I’m qualified I can live out my fantasy every day if I choose. I can walk in the woods and grind up herbs to make magical potions that work wonders for a cold.

Children see the magic in everything. But this is the real deal. Just imagine if you cured their cold with something you’d been out picking with them, covered their little fingers in black with the juices of elderberries or hunted for the red jewels of rosehips, brought them home and boiled them up with spices and sugar. They just made a black simmering cauldron of cold curing syrup!

Truth is, we don’t need fancy Calpol to get our kids better. We need some kitchen supplies and our wits. I’ve taken some of the most common kitchen supplies and shown how magic they are at dealing with the common cold and made suggestions on how to make them yummy for your kids.

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Broth Chicken soup when you’re sick isn’t just comforting to the soul, it’s also a nutrient dense immune boosting elixir of life! (ok maybe I got a little carried away). If you haven’t heard of bone broth, Google it. It involves a handful of ingredients and is full of gut-healing goodies. It can be made anytime, frozen and then used to make soups when your kids are sick. Add herbs like Garlic and Thyme to make it anti-bacterial and anti-viral too. While the broth is filling you with essential nutrients the herbs will help kill off whatever bacteria or virus caused your cold.

Chamomile Tea Most of us have a little of this hidden in the cupboard somewhere. Whether it’s a staple in your house to help you relax, or something you bought for that weird Auntie when she came to visit, the medicinal properties are well worth knowing. You will already be familiar with its relaxing properties which people sometimes use to help break a bad insomnia cycle. But it’s got other uses too. Chamomile can soothe an aching belly, help the gut recover after antibiotics and will bring down a fever. So if your child is feeling fretful and finding their cold hard to deal with, you can add a little chamomile tea to their juice. If they’re breastfeeding you can drink it yourself and it’ll go through the breast milk.

Or you can make a nice lukewarm bath with a few tea bags and your babe will basically be sitting in a massive bath of tea. If they’re big enough and interested in the tea as it comes in a mug you can always add honey to taste. A flannel on the forehead which is soaked in cold chamomile tea will be a big relief to a crying child with a fever.

Fevers are potentially very dangerous in children, I’d recommend reading books by Anne McIntyre or checking out my wesbite, to be sure you know the difference from a helpful fever and a harmful fever. For specific dose guidance for herbs, depending on your child’s weight, check out my Cold + Flu ebook. Occasionally people are allergic to the Asteraceae family which daisy is a part of so please be aware of this before giving Chamomile tea internally and try a patch test on the skin before putting them in a bath of it.

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Lemon juice in hot water Lemons are full of vitamin C but vitamin C is supposed to be destroyed in hot conditions so we’re not really sure how lemons work in this way to prepare them. Herbs and foods are far more complicated than we give them credit for and whilst the jury may be out on how it works, it definitely works.

This is basically where Lemsip got their product idea from - this is the natural version. Lemon juice, with all its sourness is great for a sore throat. It soothes and numbs. If you add some honey you’ll improve the taste and the effects. Honey is great for infections because it has anti-bacterial and antiviral properties. It also makes the whole thing more palatable. Back in the day they would have put a little whiskey in there too. But I think this is best reserved for the adults nowadays!

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Elderberry Syrup Not every household has this in stock but I’d recommend getting some as it’s so yummy, kids will fake a cold just to get some! If you want to go out foraging for elderberries, here’s a simple recipe.

Pick only the darkest berries and discard as much green stem and green berries as you can (they are toxic and will make you vomit if you have enough). You can eat the odd elderberry raw but don’t go to extremes as again, it’ll make you vomit. A friend of mine once thought it’d be a good idea to juice a kilo of fresh berries and drink it. She was wrong.

When you get home use a fork to get the berries off the stems and cover with hot water - enough to cover the berries and a little more for it to boil down a bit. Bring it to the boil and simmer for about 20 mins. Take off the heat and strain. Measure the liquid you have and add a pound of granulated sugar or coconut nectar for every pint of liquid. If you want to use honey instead or another liquid sweetener you’ll need TWO pounds of it to every pint of liquid. Then put it all back on the hob till it’s melted in nicely to each other and bottle up in sterile bottles. Simple. An adult would take 10ml of this up to 4 times a day. Children under 10 would usually only need 3 teaspoons a day. Children under 5 will only need 2 teaspoons. For more precise doses look to my Cold + Flu ebook.

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Onion Syrup This is not for the feint of heart. But it’s not as horrid as it sounds. It’s so simple to make, with things you’ll already have in the house and the kids will love making it because it’s messy, sticky, and smells.

You simply get an empty jar, chop up an onion and get some granulated sugar (coconut nectar, is a healthier alternative if you have it) and layer them to the top. In 24 hours you’ll have a syrup which just needs a little straining and away you go! Adults could take a teaspoon 3 times a day. Children under 10 will probably only need 1. Children under 5 probably won’t touch it with a barge pole!

Top Tip To prevent the whole household coming down with an infection, everyone should take the same remedies as the person who is sick. There’s no avoiding a cold. You can’t expect that not kissing your child will allow you to go totally untouched by the bacteria or virus that has caused the problem. It’s airborne and there’s no escaping it. What has stopped you getting sick in the past is your awesome adult immune system that’s seen most of these things before. It knows exactly what to do and you escape virtually unscathed. So, if you can’t avoid catching it, take the same remedies and malady the effects of the illness before it even gets a chance to take hold! And for the love of god, take as much rest as you can, we all need more rest.

I hope that’s given you some great ideas as we approach cold and flu season this year. The less we use antibiotics for simple infections like a cold, the better it is for everyone. If you are ever concerned about the seriousness of an infection always see your GP first for a diagnosis or call 111. www.foragebotanicals.co.uk 64

FIELDS OF GOLD FASHION photography and styling by Rebecca Lindon

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Jacob wears jacket by 6whitehorses and trousers by Feather Drum. Zeus wears jacket and trousers by 6whitehorses.

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Jacob wears hat by Feather Drum.

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Jacob wears shirt and Zeus wears scarf by Scotch Shrunk.

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PRESERVING CULTURE PERSONAL ESSAY words and photography byJon Canlas

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This series was shot in May 2016 at the Polynesian Cultural Center in Laie on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. It was Hauula Elementary’s May Day celebration. May Day is a day to celebrate the Hawaiian and Polynesian culture that makes up the community of where we live. Obviously, Hawaii, but also Aotearoa (the real name of New Zealand), Tahiti, Samoa, Tonga, Marquesas and international cultures are all represented. The 6th graders are given roles of Court - there is a king and queen, and representatives for all the 8 islands of Hawaii (Hawaii, Oahu, Kauai, Maui, Niihau, Molokai, Lanai, Kahoolawe). Each grade is assigned a culture and dance / performance to perform. It is the biggest event, besides graduating, of the whole school year. They practice for months before the performance.

Tourism and growth in Hawaii tends to push Hawaiian culture aside. It is a VERY different experience if you come to Oahu and stay in Waikiki compared to if you come to the North Shore where we live in Hauula.

One of the main reasons the children do this year after year is to be reminded of where their culture came from and to educate them about the cultures currently around them.

Growth on Oahu has been substantial over the years. The phrase “Keep the country, country” is becoming harder and harder to maintain. The one thing people throughout Hawaii are known for is their pride of their own culture. For years, Hawaiian culture was swept aside for tourism and economical growth. The islands of Hawaii were actually illegally taken by the United States (look it up guys, it’s a really sad story), and for years it was illegal to even speak the Hawaiian language in schools. Much was done to make Hawaii American and this involved the dilution of a lot of Hawaiian culture. It was only recently in the 70’s / 80’s that there was a resurgence in, not only maintaining the Hawaiian culture, but perpetuating it.

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Hauula Elementary has a Hawaiian immersion program where the students only speak Hawaiian, all lessons are in Hawaiian, and they focus a lot more on Hawaiian culture and traditions. Every morning they sing the national anthem for Hawaii (yes, ‘Hawaii Ponoi’). I have to admit, where we live does not feel like America. I have to remind myself sometimes that this is the United States, as the Hawaiian culture and lifestyle is so prominent where we live. No amount of hotels or high-rises can cast a shadow on the Hawaiian culture as it’s very much alive through the people who call this rock in the Pacific home.

Also, to note, there were no mosquitos on the island before contact. Why all these facts? Hawaii is more than a place to come and enjoy our pristine beaches and maitais. There is a history here that is not hard to find. Is enough being done, yes, but there is always room for more.

We have our children in the normal education program at Hauula, not the Hawaiian immersion. The decision behind that was that as we don’t speak Hawaiian, there would be no way to supplement what they were learning in terms of language. However, our youngest starts Kindergarten next year and we are going to give There are 4 towns in all the islands of Hawaii it a whirl with Kalani. In terms of engaging that have the most concentrated areas of true our own children in the history of Hawaii, the Hawaiian living there, and where we live, school really helps. Even not being in Hawaiian Hauula, is one of those towns. With the immersion they learn a LOT of Hawaiian immersion program at Hauula Elementary, a lot language and history. There are field trips at is being passed down and done to preserve and least once a month, visiting places like Waimea perpetuate the culture. There are a whole group Valley to learn how the original Hawaiians used of Hawaiians living in Kahana Valley who are to live off the land, or to Iolani Palace to learn in charge of maintaining the valley in exchange about the rulers in the Kingdom of Hawaii for living there. Much is done in the schools but like King Kamehameha or Queen Liliokalani. again, the responsibility of learning about the Even my wife Callie’s birthday (March 26th) is culture falls on the individual. a state-wide holiday to celebrate Prince Kuhio who secured over 250k acres of land to be given Hawaii is such a magical place. There is a tangible BACK to the Hawaiians after it was taken by feeling one has when you step off the plane, the plantation owners, business men, and politicians. feeling of Aloha is something very real and why The culture is everywhere. No shoes in the house, so many millions of people flock to the islands. calling your elders Auntie and Uncle, the spirit of Much like the Native Americans, the Hawaiian’s Aloha, we live it everyday. history is a sad one. Before contact with the outside world, there were over 600k Hawaiians We are not Hawaiian. We are half Filipino and living on Oahu alone. Fast forward 4 years after half American (whatever that means today - a contact and that number dwindled to just over mix of English, French, Dutch, Native American 50k people. Think about it; that is 9 out of 10 etc). One’s culture is not solely based on your people you know, gone. They did not leave, they race. Your culture starts where you call home, died from exposure to diseases of all kind (small and to us, Hauula is home. Callie and I as parents pox or syphilis that made them impotent). do everything we can to make sure our children Hawaiian’s believe in something called Mana, are raised aware of not only their own culture, which is your strength. And when they saw all but of the culture of Hawaii, the culture of their these foreigners show up with all this technology Samoan friends, their Tongan friends, and any - ships, guns, metal - they believed that by friend of any culture. When it all comes down sleeping with them, they would in turn receive to it, it is actually living Aloha, or having respect their Mana. They sent their women in drones for others and a desire to learn from them rather to sleep with sailors carrying all kinds of disease. than take.

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APOLINA KIDS ARTISAN PROFILE words by Caroline Duckett

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I started out about 10 years ago in the buying department of Topshop. My first role was as an assistant on the blouses department, this is where I really discovered my love of embroidery.

I loved meeting our Indian suppliers and seeing the intricate embroideries they could create.

Eventually I moved on to designing and buying the Topshop Boutique range. This is a premium brand within Topshop and was predominantly manufactured within the UK. Here I learnt about small scale production and the importance of strong relationships with manufacturers.

After this I went to work in the design studio at Christopher Kane, where I was working with specialist Indian suppliers developing intricate embroideries. It was an incredibly inspiring time to be working on new embroidery concepts and to be in such a creative environment.

After having my first daughter, Veda, I became much more interested in children’s clothing. I searched for miniature versions of the bohemian embroidered dresses that I loved wearing myself, but struggled to find anything I liked. Feeling inspired by the arrival of my second daughter, Bonnie, I began to sketch my dream wardrobe for my girls. I met up with an old friend whose family runs a factory in India, and his belief that I had something special gave me the confidence to believe that I should start my own brand. He and his wife were so supportive and offered to produce my first samples at their own cost in their sampling workshop. It’s so important to me to work with people I know, respect and trust.

I wanted to create pieces that felt special and that mothers could treasure: the kind of pieces you squeeze your child into, even when you know they no longer fit, and then pack away to pass on to them if they should have children. I have a few embroidered dresses that my grandmother made for me as a child, I remember wearing

them and being mesmerised by the colours in the smocking. I have these pieces now and when my daughter wore one for my grandmother’s 90th birthday party it was such a special moment.

I wanted to pursue something that felt really authentic to me. I have a long-standing love affair with vintage Mexican embroidered dresses.

I find the most inspiration when travelling and love to immerse myself in other cultures. I have a real affinity with the Swedish way of life, with its folk heritage and intrinsic love of crafts. As we have family there, we visit often and I always find myself inspired. The other place close to my heart is California - just before having our children, my partner and I embarked on a big Californian road-trip. It was a really special time for us and memories of scouring vintage shops and flea markets filled with ‘Mexicana’ is also a huge inspiration to me.

My children are a constant inspiration to me. I love their sense of adventure and their delight in the outdoors. They have definitely inspired me to slow down and appreciate the smaller things like woodland walks, wildflowers and taking a whole afternoon to do crafts!

Being a mother has certainly changed me. Before I had my children, my career was pretty much all-encompassing and I thrived on the excitement and the fast pace. I now find myself craving a slower pace and taking the time to appreciate things. Motherhood has also made me really look at myself and question not only what type of mother I want to be, but also what type of role model. I have always been brimming over with ideas but felt much more comfortable in a stable job without taking any risks. Being a mother to two girls, I have become conscious that I want them to reach for their dreams and to know that they can achieve anything they put their minds to. That mindset definitely changed my own career aspirations.

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It’s difficult being a first-time mother and having people try to give you advice or persuade you to do things you’re not comfortable with. It took me a while to feel confident that I knew what was best for my child and to care less what other people thought.

I’m sure like many mothers, I’ve also struggled to balance my own specific identity with motherhood.

I suddenly felt like a different person after having my first child, and also felt that the wardrobe I’d built throughout my twenties didn’t feel right for the person I had become. I didn’t feel comfortable with throwaway fashion and fast-changing trends. I found that I felt much more authentic defining my style by a particular mood. I pulled out all the pieces from my wardrobe that still felt appropriate and realised they were my special pieces with stories and memories, all very bohemian in feel and mostly embroidered. As someone who is obsessive about fashion and style and having always had a strong sense of self, it was quite unnerving to suddenly find that I didn’t feel comfortable in my identity.

Starting my brand has been an extension of this. It allows me that creative output I need while reflecting the importance of my family and giving me a better work-life balance.

Motherhood has taught me patience, compassion and to how to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

I love that phrase, ‘the days are long but the years are short’ - it plays in my mind often when I’m struggling to get through the day after a 5am start! It certainly isn’t all rosy bringing up children, but when you hear the infectious giggle of your child, there’s no better feeling in the world. www.apolina-kids.com

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RUB A TUB TUB ARTISAN PROFILE words by Giulia Colmignoli and photography bt Rochelle Cheever

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Born into a traditional family in Rome, Italy, I had never imagined that I would eventually be starting my own life in America. I met my finance, Christopher at a young age. We happened to be neighbors in Italy so we spent most of our years growing up together. Our fathers were childhood friends We came to San Diego hand in hand to open up our first Italian pizzeria called Napizza in 2012. To follow, we had our first born boy, Giulio and within the next year we had our second boy, Claudio. All these wonderful milestones for our family has really solidified us as one. It sure has been a journey filled with life’s twists and turns, but every second has been worthwhile.

Being a working Mommy, running 3 restaurants, and raising two children has been a real testament to finding balance. Bonding with my two boys has always been at the highest priority in my life.

Everyday I take a bath with my youngest son, Claudio, who is 7 months old. Through previous experience with my eldest, I have found this to be the most intimate moment for us throughout our day. In this time I seek to really cut out the outside world, to just be one-to-one with my little boy If anything, it encourages me to embrace the present moment.

Our ritual begins when I get Claudio all snuggled up in a soft blanket on the bed. With him is his favorite “peluche,” (teddy-bear) and our doggy (Shiva). He is invited by bubbles when he enters his warm bath tub with me, wiggling with happiness. I also infuse the water with lavender to soothe him. Claudio loves to splish and splash playing with the water... he loves his tub-time. Once he is all rinsed and squeaky clean, I gently massage coconut oil on his tender skin. On his bed, Claudio relaxes while I put on his PJs and cuddle him in my arms. In our rocking chair, I feed him as he drifts into peaceful sleep. Life is really made up of these precious moments.

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MONTREAL TRAVEL ESSAY photography by Amy Campbell

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MAMON FASHION photography and styling by Jamie Jupp Models Shereen Jupp at Detention Agency and Adaline Rose

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Shereen wears dress by Free People and scarf by Wilfred Free. Adaline wears onesie by Canada House.

Jewellery by Squirrel House.

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Shereen wears dress by Spell Designs and scarf by Wilfred Free. Adaline wears vintage blomers and top

by Noppies.

Shereen wears skirt by Free People and jacket by Blank NYC.

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Shereen wears dress by Knot Sisters and vintage shoes. Adaline wears vintage cashmere bonnet and romper by Tiny Cottons. Jewellery by Squirrel House

AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE PERSONAL ESSAY words by Chanelle Segerius-Bruce and photography by Claire Morgan

As I sit to write this, perched on a rustic wooden bench overlooking one of the top surf spots in the world, gratitude fills my soul for this seminomadic lifestyle I’ve created. The beach is long, wide, peppered with shells and curves around for miles. The sun glistens on the water, and there’re at least 20 people in the water waiting for their ultimate barrel.

On a whim, we moved again. It’s not easy, but when you’re not bogged down with a ton of stuff it sure is easier. Running our businesses means we have the freedom and flexibility to be based anywhere we desire.

One of the main reasons I took up photography ten years ago, was because of the immersed feeling you get on a shoot. No space for the monkeymind. There are the technical aspects, creative compositing, looking for the light and interaction with your subject. It’s scientifically proven that if we do things that require our full and utter attention, it has the same effect as meditation and leaves us feeling clearer and less foggy.

They’re not at work today and neither am I. Writing this piece doesn’t feel like work to me.

It feels creative, inspired and joyful. I’m able to up and move my family on a whim because I’m an entrepreneur, and I’ve chosen not to have too many material possessions. No furniture (other than our office set up) and each time we’ve moved, we’ve purged.

Most of you started your creative business for the love of the craft, but at some point, the decision We left the UK 4 years ago, sold our flat and all needs to be made to go for it and make it your of our belongings and jetted across the Atlantic full-time profession. Time to start a business! I to The Turks & Caicos Islands, taking our little can’t think of many creatives who got into this dog with us. Two weeks before we left I found for the money or for the love of business itself. out I was pregnant! My daughter was born in Entrepreneurship gets handed to us abruptly, The Caribbean and a year and a half ago, after and it’s sink or swim. shooting a ton of high-end weddings and portraits on the island for 2.5 years, we made the If you left your 9am to 5pm desk job (or more decision to move back to South Africa, where I like 8am to 7pm these days) because you yearned was born and hadn’t lived in 15 years! for time freedom, wanted to do what you love all week long and have nobody to answer to - great, A month ago, we visited Jeffrey’s Bay in the it’s totally possible! Only if you allow it to be.

Eastern Cape (a good 14 hours drive south of Durban, where we had based ourselves) for a big What I see with the creative clients I coach is that international surf competition and we viewed a you can become a slave to your business. You house which we fell in love with. It’s 50 meters end up owning your job, rather than thinking from the beach, has 5 bedrooms and costs the like a company owner. You battle to let go and same as our little 3-bed flat in Ballito near delegate, and you trap yourself in a spiral which Durban. leads to overwhelm and becoming burned-out.

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Adriana Huffington says: “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.”

I love that.

It takes a village! You cannot and should not do everything yourself. My top suggestions for delegation are:

- Childcare so that you have time to focus and Here are 3 steps to help you with your business work on your business every day and lifestyle: - Housekeeping / cleaner - Accounting and bookkeeping 1) Firstly, define what having a dream life means - Raw editing, retouching and album design to you: - Website design and development - Time off every afternoon with your kids - Social media scheduling and blogging (for- Enough money coming in consistently each matting and SEO) month - The ability to go on inspiring holidays 3) Ask for help in the right way. As women, - Continuing to go and learn by attending we shift from silent mode over to bitch in an workshops instant. You need to be aware of and work on - Living by the beach how to be able to ask for the help you require, be it from your partner, housekeeper, nanny or This list will be unique to you so take some time team members is the best way to get results aka to journal about it. Free-write and allow yourself support. to dream a little. The majority of people don’t know what they actually want.

If you’ve enjoyed this, I’ve created free a 1-hour audio training on the work-life blend: http:// 2) Delegate as much as possible as soon as pos- bit.ly/worklifeblendtraining sible.

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LETTER TO MY FRIEND WITH KIDS PERSONAL ESSAY words by Emma Saunders and photograph by Rebecca Lindon

To my dearest, We’ve been friends for a long time now. I can’t believe how long sometimes. It feels like only a moment ago we were children ourselves; carefree, full of wonderment, expectation and anticipation for the paths we would carve out for our future selves.

Blink and here we are, all grown up with careers, bills, mortgages, so many adult responsibilities to manage. But you and me, we’re still the kids we once were. Always the same deep down. Except things are different now. You’re married and have children and I’m, well, not quite there yet. Not for want of trying. Not because I’ve failed to grow up. Just because it’s not happened for me yet.

The thing is that I love what you have. It suits you and well, you do it really well. All that juggling career, baby, husband, looking fabulous, all at the same time. I admire the inner strength you have and the outward glamour you ooze. You are quite literally awesome and I love you for it.

And yet somehow this difference between us, me being that friend who hasn’t “settled down”, finds me on the outside looking in. Not on the invite list for that birthday party because ‘it will be a house full of kids which you will absolutely hate’ or casually set aside on any occasion where toddlers are involved because it’s seemingly ‘not my thing’.

I like kids. In fact I love them. I want my own. I love the wonderment and innocence they possess, the ability to make you stop in your tracks, to give you a large dose of reality and remind you what life is all about. I adore my niece and nephew. I’ve been hands-on with them since the beginning, especially with my niece being the first baby in the family. I’ve seen them grow from such darling little buds into blossoming flowers.

I hold a special place in my heart for your babies. I may have spoken out of turn in the past, perhaps appeared disinterested. That was born partly from my frustration at those around me who have lost their identity in their children, forgetting they are still an individual and feeling resentment towards them for not making time for themselves and for me. There have been moments when that frustration has turned into the pain of not being enabled to have children of my own, never quite finding the right person to have them with. It sometimes left me feeling anxious, tormented and not able to be around those blessed with what I felt I may never have. I’m sorry if my pain became yours.

The truth is I love watching your children grow and become ever more like the wonderful person you are. I see so much of you in them. I really love spending time with them. They are, after all, an extension of you and so feel in part, an extension of me and our friendship.

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So my friend, who means the world to me. Don’t forget me when you are arranging that 5th birthday party or need someone to talk to about the stage that your daughter is going through. I am here for you always. Our lives may have taken us on different paths but our friendship draws us close and sharing the many wonderful milestones along the way is what makes what we have so special.

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STOCKISTS

6 White Horses www.6whitehorses.com.au Apolina Kids www.apolina-kids.com Blank NYC www.blanknyc.com Canada House www.canadahouse.es Feather Drum www.featherdrum.com Free People www.freepeople.com Knot Sisters www.knotsisters.com Noppies www.nopiies.com Scotch Shrunk www.scotch-soda.com Spell Designs www.spelldesigns.com Squirrel House www.squirrel-house.com Tiny Cottons www.tinycottons.com

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