Natalio Alvarado Carefree in the Desert Apocalypse

Carefree in The Desert Apocalypse! Natalio Alvarado

Smoothly making its way through the desert on an extraordinary bleak and amazingly boring asphalt road. A bus, going at a crisp 55 mile per hour drive, with 4 hours between its stops. Nothing in the way between here or there. Just the occasional 55 speed limit sign, maybe a sun blasted barn or two, and beautiful vistas that line the horizon side to side. The bus was not too special, just that it had a rather decent air condition, and a tv of all things. Though it only played quaint documentaries about buses and transportation services. Only about three people bothered to take this ride between nowhere and somewhere. The bus driver, and two other passengers, one of which looked like they’ve been drinking since the day they left their mother’s womb. The sky was a crystal blue, barely a thing could get in the way of the sun. Scorching the world outside the bus to a cool 100 to 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Roughly around the 66-mile marker, one of the passengers couldn’t take the dead silence and spoke up towards the bus driver. “Can we play something else than the same shitty music on that radio please?” they begged, which the bus driver was more than happy to oblige. “I hated it too,” the man at the wheel shouted back. “I just left it on because I thought you loved it.” The driver turned the dial to find something interesting. Slowly flipping the dial through many different channels, which somehow made their signals out this way. “Repent sinners! Repent and let the…” one of the channels blasted! “Hamburger helper is…” another channel cut short. “Possibly the worse thing, I’ve…” yet again stopped in its tracks. “And now for something completely…” too slow for the dial! “What do you think about the conflict between the U.S and…” The driver didn’t care for what was on and turned off the radio. “Fuck that. I’m just gonna play what I got on this here MP3 player I have.” He proceeded to bring out a mp3 player that looks like it’s been around since the dinosaurs. “Yah like dubstep?” they asked towards the passenger who wanted something, anything to change. “Never heard of it,” they replied. “Well, you do now!” He then rammed an audio cable from their music player into a jack on the radio. Soon after that the bus was blaring with some of the loudest dubstep known to the world. So booming and loud that it was echoing throughout the canyons and could be heard for miles around them! The drunkard got up from his selfinduced coma without saying a word. Only a minor hiccup and burp came out of them. Then they began to twirl in place like a ballerina, all while stumbling and tripping. “Holy shit dude turn that down please!?” begged the singular normal one. “No man,” the driver exclaimed and shouting over it all. “You gotta enjoy this at full volume to get the full flavor!”

What must’ve felt like a fever dream lasted for the next 40 minutes or so. One passenger dancing like a mad man! Thinking they were competing for a dance show! The driver was going mental in the front; the driver was bouncing up and down, fanatically, in their seat! And the only sane person in the bus desperately covered their ears. Hoping for some miracle to interrupt the damn music! From the inside it was a clown car. The bus on the outside was still going at an amazingly smooth 55 mph. The landscape hadn’t changed at all, still the lovely 120-degree barren desert it’s always been. But when all seemed fine and dandy, a single far off spec slowly came closer to the bus. It was a disturbingly fat cow, one as wide as the road. But the cow wasn’t making its way to the bus, the bus was making its way to the cow! “What the fuck! It’s a damn cow! It’s one beefy looking one too!” the bus driver exclaimed! The driver tried to swerve to dodge the massive Jovian sized object! But the cow was no more, and the bus was utterly totaled. The front caved in, with a distinctive cow shaped indent. It veered off the road and flipped on its side! At least the music had stopped.