WFS Spring 2012 Magazine

Friends

Wilmington Friends School Spring 2012

Friends

Wilmington Friends School Spring 2012

From the Head of School

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For Alumni & Friends

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What Ever Happened to the School of (Even Not-So) Hard Knocks?

By Bryan Garman

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More News & Events, Winter 2011-2012

“That Was Amazing”: John Hunter, World Peace & More

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Two Quaker Brothers in the Civil War

By Bob Donaghy ’45

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Class Notes

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In Memory

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In Closing: Simply Happy

Mission Statement Wilmington Friends, a Quaker school with high standards for academic achievement, challenges students to seek truth, to value justice and peace, and to act as creative, independent thinkers with a conscious responsibility to the good of all.

On the front cover, from the 2012 eighth grade musical, The Music Man; and this page, scene from a mild winter

Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

inside back cover

BOARD OF TRUSTEES Chair Vice Chair Treasurer Secretary Andrew Aerenson ’81 Christopher F. Buccini ’90 Denise Chapman Thomas M. Connelly Curtis Clapham Doneene Damon Meg Gehret Erskine ’83 Brett D. Fallon Reginald D. Flowers ’90

David W. Singleton Susan Kelley Daniel Klein Russ Endo Ellen L. Gay Scott W. Gates ’80 J. Harry Hammond Deborah Murray-Sheppard Darcy Rademaker Laura K. Reilly Jocelyn Sutton Stewart ’82 Harvey Zendt

Alumni Association Board Liaison

Christopher W. Lee ’82

Home & School Association Board Liaison

Jane Hollingsworth

ADMINISTRATION Head of School Associate Head of School, Head of Middle School Assistant to the Head of School Assistant Head for Academics Assistant Head for Finance & Operations Head of Lower School Head of Upper School Director of Admissions and Financial Aid Director of Communications Director of Development ALUMNI BOARD 2011-2012 Donald Altmaier ‘51 Stuart A. Atkins ‘76 Melissa F. Billitto ‘87 Nicole J. Caddell ‘03 Carolyn Gates Connors ‘81 Kimberley Massih Dolan ‘89 Kristin M. Dugan ‘03 Tim E. Gibbs ‘76

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Bryan Garman William Neff Marilyn Maguire Peter Wenigmann William Baczkowski Annette Hearing Rebecca Zug Kathleen Hopkins Tracey Quillen Carney ’80 Judy Aliquo

Amy Curran Harper ‘94 Raven Harris ‘06 Josh Klein ‘98 Chris Lee ‘82 Sarah Lester ‘04 Donald C. Morton, Jr. ‘94 Tom Scott ‘70 Amanda Corby Soto ‘00

Professional photography by Elisa Komins Morris and Joe del Tufo Design/layout by Jacquelyn Quinn Dickey With thanks to the alumni, students, faculty, families, trustees, and staff of Wilmington Friends School for their contributions to the community effort of Friends magazine. Please send any comments or corrections to info@wilmingtonfriends.org.

FROM THE HEAD OF SCHOOL Dear Friends, During the last week of February, more than 4,100 educators traveled to Seattle for the annual meeting of the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS). The main attraction: conference keynote speaker Bill Gates who, predictably, shared his insights on technology and education.

Gates was a powerful presence, but the speaker who most energized the audience was a public school teacher from Charlottesville, Virginia. John Hunter, the subject of the documentary film World Peace and Other Fourth Grade Achievements (and of the article on page 16 of this magazine), took the stage with his Zen-like presence. At a time when the prevailing public discourse has reduced the functional definition of educational achievement to performance on state tests, Hunter encouraged us to recognize that if you touch children’s heads, you will help them pass a test; if you touch their hearts, you will change their lives. The architect of the World Peace Game—in which fourth graders are charged to solve simulated political conflicts and economic and environmental challenges—Hunter teaches children a great deal about critical thinking and communication skills; but, equally important, he opens spaces for them to reflect, to feel, to fail. (Starting on page 6, I argue that allowing time to experience failure, in particular, is a crucial component of the educational process.)

Academic achievement matters. And so does Quaker education, especially at a time when our world remains embroiled in violent conflict and there seems to be more interest in exploiting cultural divides than in bridging them. Those of us associated with Friends School know that the mind opens more broadly when teachers form lasting relationships with students, when teachers see students as genuine partners in the learning process, when together they explore the intellectual and ethical dimensions of academic problems. Good education allows students to master a body of knowledge; great education provides the opportunity for the mind and the spirit to grow in tandem, and encourages students to use their knowledge and talents to improve the world around them.

Thanks to the wonderful partnership we have with our Home and School Association, many of us were fortunate to hear John Hunter during his visit to campus this past January. Home and School regularly provides financial support to bring outstanding speakers and programs to our students, parents, and faculty. On more than one occasion, that sponsorship has spawned additional partnerships, and Hunter provides one example.

At the NAIS conference, the Martin Institute for Teaching Excellence announced that under its aegis, Hunter will offer five master teaching classes across the country, one of which will be held at Wilmington Friends.

Open to 30 teachers, the conference will be attended by teachers from Friends and other schools—Quaker, independent, and public. Seeking to expand our partnership with Hunter and the Martin Institute, we are also hoping to include educators from Teach for America, which, for the past three years, has been working to improve public education in Delaware.

We celebrate our partnership with Home and School, a partnership that enables us to amplify our mission. We are fortunate that our parents, as well as our alumni and faculty, so willingly support the important work of being a Quaker school, work that is crucial to the success of our students as we encourage them not simply to live in the world that is, but to create the world that should be.

With best wishes,

Bryan Garman

Diane Beneck, Family Resource/QUEST Stewardship Coordinator Susan Morovati Finizio ’87, Bryan, QUEST Director/English teacher Brandon Woods, guest John Hunter, and Debbie Pittenger. Diane and Debbie are the Home & School Association co-presidents for 2011-12.

Spring Spring2012 2012• •Friends Friendsmagazine magazine

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for Alumni&Friends

From the Alumni Association President Dear Friends, It has been a very busy winter here at Friends for alumni.

In addition to the successful annual Young Alumni party, the school organized a parent/ alumni event at the BBC Tavern on December 22. This “Celebrating with Friends” event included more than 20 guest bartenders—alumni, parents, faculty, and staff—whose tips were donated to the Annual Fund. The place was packed for a truly joyful occasion in which the rich sense of community we all share was in full view.

(See photos on page 28.)

Speaking of the Annual Fund, last year alumni participation rose to 29% from 26%. Please help us get over the 30% mark this year by making your donation online today, or by using the enclosed envelope.

Every single gift matters and has a real and measurable impact, as the Annual Fund helps to close the gap—a gap of $2,200—between tuition and the cost of educating a student at Friends. In addition, foundations look at a school’s alumni participation rate as a key benchmark of its strength, which means that your gift will be leveraged ten-fold in all of the school’s major grant proposals. All of it adds up to the benefit of today’s students at Friends, where they are learning to become tomorrow’s global leaders.

And global leaders they are indeed becoming. Don’t miss the special “Where Are You Now” section about the Class of 2005, starting on page 24. They are teachers and engineers; they are pursuing medical and law degrees; they are volunteering in Haiti and helping Iraqi refugees. They have traveled the world for work and for service and to experience different cultures. They are—quite simply—making a difference in the world in which we all live. They certainly make me, and the entire Alumni Board, proud to have graduated from Friends.

Please keep in touch in whatever way you like: LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, email, or the good ole fashioned Postal Service. The Alumni Board is always here for your questions and recommendations, as is the Alumni/Development Office.

Thank you, and happy spring!

Kristin Dugan ’03

Meet Chad O’Kane We are pleased to welcome Chad O’Kane as Director of Capital and Endowment Giving at Wilmington Friends School.

Chad began his work at Friends on February 1.

Chad owned and operated a successful small business in the Philadelphia Chad O’Kane, top left, with upper school students, after a get-to-know-theschool lunch at the Jones House area for 10 years.

After deciding to change careers, he sold his company and returned to graduate school at Virginia Tech, where he had the opportunity to teach a variety of undergraduate courses, and also to work in University and Alumni Relations.

Chad’s master’s thesis focused on media literacy, 21st Century instruction, and education reform. Most recently, he worked as a business development consultant.

Chad and his wife, Laura, live in Narberth, PA, with their two young children and three dogs. They plan to relocate to the Wilmington area and hope to become Friends parents.

We know that you will enjoy meeting Chad, and look forward to introducing him to you in person. In the meantime, thank you for helping us to welcome Chad to Friends and, as always, for all of the wonderful ways you support WFS. —Judy Aliquo, Director of Development

Friends Magazine Online We upload each issue of Friends Magazine to “Issuu,” a publications host site with a link on the school web page.

From the homepage of the school web site, www.wilmingtonfriends.org, click “login.” Even before you actually login, you will see “Student/School Publications” on the right-side menu. From there, click to view the publication you would like to read.

There is a way to download the magazine as a PDF document for e-readers, but at the moment, it’s a little techie. For those who feel up to it…After you have chosen the publication you want to read, right-click or control-click and choose “Read on Issuu.” Once you are on the Issuu site, you will see action icons, including an option to download the publication (as a PDF). For Kindles and other readers without a browser, you will need to download the document to your computer first and then put it on your e-reader.

We hope you enjoy Friends, however you read it!

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Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

Lower School Grandparents & Special Friends Day May 11, 2012 Our annual Lower School Grandparents/Special Friends Day will be on Friday, May 11. This event is a wonderful opportunity for Grandparents and Special Friends to visit classrooms, hear pieces from spring concerts, see school projects, and enjoy a fun-filled morning. For more information, please contact Special Events Coordinator Stacy Gatti, sgatti@wilmingtonfriends.org or 302.576.2975.

for Alumni&Friends

Make Connections

Howard Pyle Exhibit Tour & Tea

Wilmington Friends alumni help each other every day. Social media in particular have opened new opportunities for alumni to reconnect and share expertise.

On Sunday, February 5, about 50 Friends alumni and parents gathered at the Delaware Art Museum for a tour of the Howard Pyle retrospective followed by a tea and discussion. Pyle himself attended Friends in the 1800s, and many of his relatives have graduated from the school, including Walter Smith ’62 and Andy Wyeth ’66 who were both on hand to provide insight into their great-uncle. And we were grateful to have alumna-docent Pat Ryan Zolper ’47, who has studied Pyle extensively, lead us on the tour.

WFS Online Career Networking Directory:

From cardiology and genetic counseling to marketing and financial services, this password-protected online directory includes a broad range of professions. It lists more than 50 alumni who have generously offered to be contacted about their industries.

You will need to log into the WFS website to access the directory at: wilmingtonfriends.org/networking-directory. Please let us know if you would like to be listed as a contact in your field.

LinkedIn:

You probably already know that a majority of hiring managers use LinkedIn to research job candidates.

But did you know that there is a growing Wilmington Friends School Alumni group on LinkedIn? Request to join today, and leverage the power of both LinkedIn and the WFS alumni network.

Facebook:

The WFS Alumni page on Facebook continues to expand in connections and content; we share good news from campus and from alumni, along with photos, video clips, sports roundups, and more.

Twitter:

We tweet sports scores, usually before the morning paper, and other good news from school that fits— @WilmFriends. Follow us!

Andy Wyeth ‘66 and Walter Smith ‘62 shared laughs and family stories.

In welcoming guests to the event, Head of School Bryan Garman made the connection between Friends School’s extraordinary teachers and Pyle’s own teaching style. He shared this quotation from N.C. Wyeth: Pyle had “extraordinary ability as a teacher…

He could read beneath the crude lines on paper the true purpose, detect therein our real inclinations and impulses; in short, unlock our personalities.”

Print Alumni Directory project:

See below for more details, but the alumni record verifications underway with our print directory company, PCI, will also ensure that our database and online directory (a great way to find friends from Friends) are as up-to-date as possible.

Alumni Printed Directory and Information Verification Project By now, all alumni have probably received postcards and emails from PCI on behalf of the Alumni Office, asking you to call and verify the information we have on file. Thank you to everyone who has already called in! With 9 out of 10 alumni discovering they have at least one item to update—from email to address to profession, etc.—it’s essential that all alumni please verify their information with PCI. They are updating and verifying our records for us, across the entire database of more than 4,000 alumni, and are producing a printed alumni directory, which alumni may purchase if so desired (there is no obligation to do so). The printed directory option is a nice value-added product for those who want the hard copy, which many alumni have requested. We have had, and will continue to have, a free (password protected) online WFS directory that also will be updated when this project is complete. So the real value of this updating project—besides creating key benchmarks for potential foundations and grants—is that alumni can connect with each other with the most updated contact information possible. If you have any questions, please contact Director of Alumni Relations Paige Meginley Winburn: pwinburn@wilmingtonfriends.org or 302.576.2981.

Left to right: Alumni with Head of School Bryan Garman at the Art Museum event: Ben Osbun ’66, Bryan, and (all relatives of Howard Pyle) Andy Wyeth ’66, Cynthia Pyle Woolley ’56, and Walter Smith ’62

Alumna Pat Ryan Zolper ’47 has studied Howard Pyle extensively, and led alumni on the exhibit tour.

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for Alumni&Friends

Second Annual Alumni Lacrosse (and Other?) Games

Alumni Parents

Please SAVE THE DATE for Saturday, June 2, 2012, when we will host our second annual alumni lacrosse games and picnic. Both a women’s and a men’s game will be scheduled for any and all who would like to join. Please let us know if you can make it, by emailing alumni@wilmingtonfriends.org.

With even a glance at the WFS School Directory, you get the picture pretty quickly: nearly every page lists a current Friends parent who is also an alumna/us. 16% of current students are children of alumni—whose appreciation and enthusiasm for their own experience made Friends the logical choice for their children. A sampling of the many responses we received when we asked why alumni, as parents, chose Friends:

There also has been much interest expressed in adding a round robin tennis event. If you’d like to participate in that, please email us (still alumni@wilmingtonfriends.org). We have six beautifully refinished tennis courts and would love to expand our alumni sports day!

The alumni teams won both the men’s and women’s games on Alumni Lacrosse Day 2011. Thanks to all who are helping to organize this year’s event.

New Event: The Boss On Wednesday evening, June 13, Friends will host a special event for alumni, parents, and friends at the Constitution Center in Philadelphia. With a private tour of the Bruce Springsteen exhibit, dinner, a talk by Head of School Bryan Garman (who happens to be something of a Springsteen scholar; see below), and round-trip bus transportation from Wilmington (departure at approximately 5:00pm), this event has limited tickets available and is sure to sell out. To purchase your tickets today, at a price we’re happy to able to offer of $35 each, please contact the Alumni/Development Office: 302.576.2975.

Bryan Garman is the author of the book, A Race of Singers: Whitman’s WorkingClass Hero from Guthrie to Springsteen.

He contributed to the books Racing in the Street: The Bruce Springsteen Reader and Music in the Post-9/11 World, and published a Springsteen album review in the magazine Backstreets.

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Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

Tim Boulos ’91, neurosurgeon

Matt Terrell ’91, Kim Massih Dolan ’89, Aundrea Almond ’90, and Dorothy

Connolly Mraz ’74 joined us in the Jones House for breakfast in February.

“After finishing my residency and embarking on my fellowship in Tennessee, I decided to settle down in Knoxville. We felt it was a nice area to raise the kids; it was a small and close-knit community. Eventually my wife, Helen, and I missed our families, and we also missed the educational opportunities that we had been afforded growing up in the Northeast. Helen attended a Sacred Heart School in Washington, DC that also placed an emphasis on diversity and service. We wanted our kids to grow up surrounded by different cultures, religions, and schools of thought. Returning to Wilmington to practice with my father and send my children to the school that my brother and I loved so much was a no-brainer….

“When I asked my mother why she sent my brother and me to Wilmington Friends, given the abundance of excellent schools in the area, she responded that she knew all of the schools she looked at would challenge us academically but that Wilmington Friends was a school where we would learn how important it is to take our learning and use it to the betterment of our world. She wanted us to grow intellectually but she also wanted us to develop a moral compass. I would say that this is the major reason our kids are at Friends. What do we want for them more than anything as they grow up? We want them to shine. We want them to give back freely, to know that it is only through giving back that they will be whole. This requires a school that emphasizes intellectual curiosity, diversity, and compassion.”

Carolyn Gates Connors ’81, lawyer and WFS girls varsity basketball coach “…the school’s philosophy, mission, rigorous academic program and competitive athletic programs. We want our children to have their own experiences, but also the same opportunities that I had as a Friends student…Friends is a strong, connected, and welcoming community, and I am proud to be a part of it.”

Martha Poorman Tschantz ’85, bank executive “Making a decision about your children’s education, I believe, is one of the most important roles we have as parents. And it doesn’t end with the first decision if you have more than one child! The realization that our children are different and have different needs is something that we considered when evaluating choices in selecting a school. We were very open-minded, evaluated all options, and in the end the decision was very clear to me. What I valued most is not only that I experienced Friends myself, and received a great education, wonderful memories on the athletic fields and developed lifelong friendships…but I graduated, unknowingly, very prepared to take on what life brought my way and left behind a community of teachers, coaches, and an administration that I realize sincerely looked forward to my success and contributions to the communities in which I live. That is why I chose Friends for my children and I am grateful to share this legacy with them (as my mother shared it with me and my siblings).”

Wilmington Friends Homecoming 2012 October 18-20 (with more details to follow) Thursday, October 18, 2012

Saturday, October 20, 2012

11:30am: True Blue/1748 Society Luncheon Middle/Upper School Library 6:00pm: Evening of the Arts Including Alumni Art Show for reunion-year artists

8:30am: Smith McMillan 5K Run/Walk Upper Campus 10:00am: Meeting for Worship Middle/Upper School Meeting Room 11:30am: Homecoming Lunch (until 1:30pm) Homecoming Tent Evening reunions for all classes with years ending in 2 or 7

Friday, October 19, 2012 11:30am: 50th+ Reunion Luncheon to celebrate Classes of 1962, 1957, 1952, 1947, 1942, 1937 DuPont Country Club 6:00pm: All Alumni Reunion and Awards Reception Middle/Upper School Library

Lots of exciting sports, of course — please join us, and Go Blue!

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What Ever Happened to the (Even Not-So) V

SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS? Does our fear of our children’s failures limit their future successes? Is our impulse to protect them actually hurting them in the long run? How do we develop a capacity for resilience in our children?

Bryan Garman, Head of School When, sixty-five years ago, Benjamin Spock wrote Baby and Child Care, he introduced a new niche in the publishing industry: parental advice literature, a genre that, in years to come, would become remarkably successful, in part because it played upon our insecurities.

As parents, we can far too easily become ensnared in our worries, fears, and good intentions, and we scarcely need shelves (or Kindles-full) of “how to” books to make us feel less adequate about a task that is unique in both reward and challenge. But writers keep writing and we keep reading. And questions raised by recent circumstances have done little to calm our nerves. How will our children compete in the new world economy?

How do we prepare them to succeed in an increasingly competitive college admissions process? How do we protect them from the dangers of the Internet?

How do we make certain that they are happy?

Considering these questions, it seems to me that a deep fear of failure permeates our parenting. So when, last April, Harvard Business Review published an entire issue dedicated to what they called “the F word,” I read with interest.

“We’re hypocrites about it,” the editors wrote. “Go online, and you’ll find scores of pleasant aphorisms celebrating the inevitability of failure and the importance of learning from it. But in real life—and in real companies—failure is anathema.

We’re afraid of it.”

There is no doubt that we are reluctant to talk about failure. And when it comes to failures experienced by our children, most of us are downright terrified. Why? I’m sure we could provide our own reasons, but I can think of at least two that I am willing to acknowledge. First, in The Essential Conversation, Sarah Lawrence Lightfoot suggests that we believe that our children’s behavior or performance is a reflection of our parenting skills, and that our friends and peers will evaluate us accordingly. Second, we worry about our children’s self-esteem. Rather than helping our children process and learn from failure, we often seek to assure their happiness and to protect them from disappointment.

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Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

There is no doubt that we are reluctant to talk about failure. And when it comes to failures experienced by our children, most of us are downright terrified.

If this style of parenting sounds familiar, don’t be too hard on yourself; it is at least several thousand years old. It was, for instance, the preferred pattern for the Buddha’s parents, who, hoping to make good on the prophecy that their son was destined to become a great political leader, sequestered their child in his father’s palace. If the prince wandered beyond the palace walls, the prophecy foretold, he would succeed in the spiritual rather than the political realm. The prince did, on occasion, leave the palace, but his father carefully managed excursions so that his son never witnessed anything unpleasant. But one fateful morning, the prince diverted from the prescribed path and found himself faced with human suffering for the first time. Having moved beyond his father’s influence—having grown up and found his own way—the prince renounced his privilege and began the spiritual journey that enabled him to attain a greatness his father could not have imagined.

The Buddha’s story may be unique in some (pretty profound) ways, but it raises important, universal questions.

Last September, several Friends parents sent me Paul Tough’s “What If the Secret to Success Is Failure?” which appeared in the New York Times. Tough considers this question by talking with educators at Riverdale Country School, an elite prep school in the city, and administrators at the KIPP schools, which prepare students in “underserved communities” for college. David Levin, the co-founder of KIPP, has observed that the most successful graduates are not always those with the highest GPAs; according to his research, those who succeed in college tend to possess “exceptional character strengths, like optimism, and persistence and social intelligence.” Levin has found these traits to be so important that his schools are emphasizing the teaching of character and have begun to develop assessments for measuring it.

Riverdale has a well-developed “character education program,” but Head of School Dominic Randolph admits to having “a philosophical issue with quantifying character,” in part because he fears that once it is measured students will be “doing test prep for it.” More important, Randolph’s colleagues suggest, is that many Riverdale parents, “while pushing their children to excel, also inadvertently shield them from exactly the kind of experience that can lead to character growth.” As one administrator put it: “Our kids don’t put up with a lot of suffering. They don’t have a threshold for it. They’re protected against it . . . .

And when they do get uncomfortable, we hear from their parents.” Tough defines this tension as the “central paradox of contemporary parenting”: “we have an acute, almost biological impulse to provide for our children, to give them everything they want and need, to protect them from the dangers and discomforts both large and small. And yet we all know…that what kids need more than anything is a little hardship: some challenge, some deprivation that they can overcome, even if just to prove to themselves that they can.”

OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE Messages from speakers at Friends Brian Curtis Mand ’90 And still we find it extraordinarily difficult to act on this knowledge, especially in the heat of failure. According to Lori Gottlieb, author of “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy,” Tough’s “almost biological impulse” may be doing more than undermining the success of our children; it may actually be making them unhappy (The Atlantic, July/August 2011). A warning: Gottlieb’s article is not for the faint-hearted, nor is it for those who have an aversion to profanity. A psychotherapist and mother, she has considered the long line of twenty-somethings who frequent her office to share that they have extremely positive relationships with their parents, but that they now feel unfulfilled, confused, and have come to realize that they may not be quite as “amazing” as their parents had told them they were.

“Was it possible,” Gottlieb asks, “that these parents had done too much?”

Gottlieb considers the possibility that we might be raising a generation of narcissists, who, according to Professor Jean Twenge, “are happy when they are younger, because they’re the center of the universe.” When they live at home, under the watchful and attentive eyes of parents, they thrive. But when they head off to college, an underdeveloped self-reliance and overdeveloped self-absorption conspire to prevent the formation of new relationships. As a result, confidence erodes and happiness dissipates. With the best intentions, many parents have shielded children from hard work, hard luck, and many other lessons taught at the School of Hard Knocks. Remember when successful people used to brag about being graduates of this institution?

Without some exposure to hard lessons, students are unable to develop a sense of resilience. According to renowned psychologist Wendy Mogel, many first-year college students emit such a profound sense of fragility that university administrators refer to them as “teacups.”

(Thanks to the generosity of the Home and School Association, Mogel will share her wisdom with the Friends community in October 2012.)

So what’s a parent to do? Different strategies work for different people, but if you want your child to avoid the fate that Mogel describes, here are a few thoughts to consider.

Author and journalist Commencement 2011, “The Eight Rules of Pizza”

“Rule #3: The best pizza toppings may just be the ones you have never tried….Try something new. Maybe you’ll like it; maybe you will spit it out. Finding out what you don’t want on your pizza is just as important as finding out what you do. Graduates, go for it. Succeed.

Fail. It’s the journey.”

Melanie Togman Sloan ’83

Lawyer-activist for ethics in government Commencement 2010

“Starting tomorrow, go out and take risks.”

Dan Pfeiffer ’94

White House Director of Communications Commencement 2009

“Given a choice, most people choose the safe route, the comfortable route, the most traveled route. Most people are afraid to leave their comfort zones—to meet new people or to try new things. Most people think that no decision is better than a wrong decision. And most people would rather not try than fail. Don’t be most people.”

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OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE Marisa de los Santos Friends parent Poet and novelist Commencement 2008

“If you look very, very carefully, you can see what might be your path, the way you need to go, but only for a short distance, up to the point where the next turn in the path is obscured by trees, by dappled light and shadows. So you take a deep breath and write toward the bend in the road, with the faith that when you get there, more of the path will open up before you. Faith is hard.

Finding the path is hard.

All of it takes tremendous effort. It would be much easier to stick to a map, a clearly defined path….Maps cancel out the possibility of getting lost or stuck in brambles or confronted with a dead end, but they also cancel out the possibility of surprise, of unexpected beauty, of mystery, and the exhilaration of discovery.”

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1. Share our own failures. The Harvard Business Review allows us to consider failure with a distance we cannot bring to parenting, but the various articles equip us with a framework we might use to enter into a discussion with our children.

That is, we need to empower our kids, as HBR seeks to empower managers, to understand, learn, and recover from a wide range of mistakes. Former Procter & Gamble CEO A. G. Lafley helps reframe the dreaded “F word”: “I think of my failures as a gift. Unless you view them that way, you won’t learn from failure, you won’t get better.”

We all want our kids to get better at what they do. But before we insist that it is important for them to learn from their mistakes or failures, we should be willing to explain how we have learned from our own. Share one (or more) of your own failures with your children. Explain what it felt like to fail, what you worried about, and what you learned from it. At the end of the day, the effects of our failures are rarely as profound or as persistent as we first fear. Talk about how your perspective shifted and tell your children how you moved beyond the failure.

that resiliency can be taught. For more information, visit the website for the Penn Resiliency Program which, in a nutshell, teaches students “to think like optimists”: http://www.ppc.sas. upenn.edu/prpsum. htm.

How we as adults respond to our children’s disappointment makes all the difference. If we “mine for the pain” by asking the child a series a questions designed to elicit increasingly negative responses, he or she will likely provide the drama and will, no doubt, feel worse. But if we respond with a positive example or we reframe the problem as an opportunity, we can make all of the difference.

Or, you might watch the commencement address that J. K. Rowling delivered at Harvard in 2008. The author of the Harry Potter series, Rowling has heroic status for many of our children, and listening to her describe her trials is bound to provide perspective on failure.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something,” Rowling says, “unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all.” (One note: if you plan to watch this video, accessible on YouTube, with younger children, you might want to screen it first. Rowling used to work for Amnesty International, and she describes several crimes against humanity in her speech.)

Let me share an example. When I worked at another school, I used to arrive to work around 7:00 am each day. On the day after early college decisions were announced, I arrived to find a parent and child, both with tears in their eyes, waiting outside the door of the college counseling office. The student had been deferred admission from her top choice, School A, and the family, which was quite distraught, had arrived early so that they could begin the process of being placed on the waiting list. I later learned that although the child had been deferred, she had been admitted to a very prestigious, equally selective institution, School B. Thinking about the child’s emotional state, I wondered how she would have felt had the father responded to the admissions news in a different way. What, if instead of rushing to the college counselor’s office to get on the waitlist, he had donned a sweatshirt from School B and told the child what an accomplishment it was to be admitted. I’m not saying that the child should not have made the effort to continue to pursue admission at School A. I’m simply saying that our responses, our resilience, can help our children respond in positive ways.

2. Think (and act) like an optimist.

Martin E. P. Seligman, the Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology and director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, is cited in nearly every recent article written about failure. The good news is that this giant in the field (who recently published Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being) argues

3. Be patient. When your child experiences failure or challenge, count to ten (or higher) before rushing to the rescue.

First, when kids do something poorly, they don’t always need to have us point out their shortcomings; they are usually quite self-aware. So, depending on the severity of the issue, give them a moment, or a day. Second, remember, kids are much more resilient than adults.

Ron Suskind

Eboo Patel

Interfaith leader QUEST Big Ideas Speaker 2009

“Somehow, all my fears coalesced around The New Yorker. It was the magazine I most often saw the other Rhodes Scholars reading. I had never even heard of it before I arrived at Oxford. At the University of Illinois, reading the Chicago Tribune made you more knowledgeable about world affairs than just about anybody else. Every week for the first few months I was at Oxford, I went to the newsstand on Little Clarendon Street and bought The New Yorker. Then I walked back through the rain to my coffin-size room and stared at it. That only seemed to heighten my anxiety. I couldn’t even decipher the damn cover; how was I supposed to understand the articles?

I was tempted to tell myself the story that middle-class Midwestern kids like me were all about keeping it real and that the Ivy League snobs I had been shipped here with were so full of a sickening sense of entitlement that they weren’t even worth talking to. But I knew that was a lie born of fear and prejudice. Moreover, it undermined the whole reason I had applied for a Rhodes in the first place…I finally stopped trying to figure out the cover of The New Yorker and started to read the articles.”

Journalist and author Commencement 2007

On teaching his son to ride a bike and the moment of letting go: “It was a moment of terror and exhilaration, of fear and release.

And then I uttered the two words that mean everything, two words on which everything depends, on which the great American experiment depends. I said, ‘Keep pedaling!’”

Gish Jen

Novelist QUEST Big Ideas Speaker 2011

“I went to Stanford Business School for a year and dropped out to become a writer. I remember my parents were both very distressed about this…it was scary to them. And of course, looking back, when I see how much instability they had lived themselves—the loss of their country, their home, I mean everything. When we were younger we had no money, we drank powdered milk, you know, that sort of thing. Bit by bit they had built up the family, they had gotten us into good schools. Their daughter had gone to Harvard and then she had gotten into Stanford Business School, and I was gonna throw it all away and go onto who knew what….And now that I’m a parent I completely understand where they were coming from. People often ask me, ‘Well, would you want your child to become a writer?’ And of course I would never prevent them from becoming writers, but I would start saving now.”

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OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE Quintin Primo ’73

Business and community leader Commencement 2006

“I have faced many challenges in my life. When my first business failed, my wife and I lost everything–our house, our savings, to a certain extent our stature in the community. I have been sued, threatened, subpoenaed, and stared down utter failure. But as I stand here today, I can honestly say to you that I am a very rich man and that money is the least of my wealth….I measure my success by the extent to which I have helped others.”

Matthew Meyer ’90

Lawyer and international service leader Commencement 2005

On founding Ecosandals, an internationally recognized, online business in Kenya: “I started this little sandal-making shop in Korogocho shortly after finishing college. And in my estimation, 98.5% of what we have tried since then has not worked….Another Ecosandals sandalmaker, Kabando, who five years ago spent his days with friends digging through trash dumps, trying to find anything of value, tells me he exports sandals for money but as part owner of a global operation, the primary return on his investment is his dignity.

We failed and tried again and again. I think Kabando would say it was worth it.”

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Their moods shift rapidly, and yesterday’s problem can be subsumed by today’s triumph (or sometimes the next crisis). We as adults are often more deeply affected by their failure or discomfort than they are.

Frequent intervention can undermine children’s confidence and prevent them from developing the resilience and self-assurance they will need to conquer more complicated problems. Ask yourself, “Is my child upset about this? Or am I?” Hard as it can sometimes be, we must remember that parenting is primarily about our children.

4. Praise to create a mindset for success.

As Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford, writes in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, “Praising children’s intelligence harms their motivation and it harms their performance….If success means they’re smart, then failure means they’re dumb.” Praising students for their innate ability, suggests Dweck’s research, creates what she calls a “fixed mindset” in which intelligence is viewed as predetermined and fundamentally immutable.

A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, sees intelligence and ability as dynamic, qualities that can be acquired through focused effort and learning. It’s the difference between saying, “Great job! Clearly, you are very good at math,” and “Great job! You must have worked hard at that problem!” Dweck has demonstrated that the latter response reinforces the belief that success is developed through persistent effort. Dweck’s research also shows that even when a student fails, this type of feedback indicates that struggle and failure are normal, and that effort is a crucial part of eventual success.

Discussions about parenting often raise more anxieties than they alleviate, but to me, this recent literature about failure, struggle, and resilience is liberating. It reminds us that our children, like all of us, are bound to fail. How we—and they— respond to those setbacks is what matters most. In fact, universities and colleges find resilience to be such an important quality that the Common Application’s Teacher Recommendation form asks faculty to rate each student’s “reaction to setbacks.” So as our students prepare for college and life, we do them a disservice if we don’t allow them to learn at the School of Hard Knocks. We never like to see our children struggle, but admissions officers, faculty, and, although we find it hard to admit, deep down parents know that some struggles make us smarter and stronger. When we take a long view of parenthood, we can begin to understand that the vast majority of mistakes come with low stake short term consequences and high stake learning opportunities that equip our children with the resiliency they will need to become independent adults. And that, of course, is what we all want to accomplish.

News & Events from Among the (many) Academic Clubs, Committees & Competitions…

2011-2012

• Congratulations to seniors Katy Barrett and Sara Woodward, finalists in this year’s National Merit Scholar program.

• Thirteen middle school students comprised two teams at the First State FIRST Lego League competition, with faculty advisors Teri Lesser and Aaron Silver. Junior Jack Hollingsworth served as an assistant coach.

Middle school Lego robotics team members

• Friends was one of four high schools to participate in WorldQuest Delaware 2012, sponsored by the World Affairs Council. Seven Friends upper school students competed; history teacher Javier Ergueta was the faculty advisor.

• Friends hosted a very successful Blood Drive, this year adding an educational display by the IB HL Biology class. The Drive was organized by a committee of seniors, clerked

by Gwen Baraniecki-Zwil and Emily Dougherty.

Eric Rizzi was the faculty advisor.

Winter The Friends Senior High (grades 10-12) Science Olympiad team • Fifteen upper school students participated in the Senior High Science Olympiad state competition in early March, with teachers Ellen Johnson and Loraine Snead and senior Graham Grochowski as assistant coach. Senior Duncan Hobbs and sophomore Dan Shaw placed sixth in the state in an environmental science event called Water Quality.

In Winter Sports…

IB Biology students organized an educational display at this year’s Blood Drive.

• The Friends Mock Trial team, with faculty advisor Eric Rizzi, finished fourth (of 25) in the state competition.

Seniors Chris Getty and Kristi Iannelli and junior Molly Conces were recognized with individual “gavel” awards for best attorney and best witness. Jody Barillare and Ericka Johnson were the team’s lawyer coaches.

• Junior Elise Lankiewicz was a two-event state champion in swimming, winning the 100m butterfly and the 500m freestyle, all the more remarkable since there was only one event in between. The girls’ swim team was 7-3 in dual meets, and the boys’ team was 6-4. A total of 11 Friends swimmers qualified for the state meet.

Elise was first team All State and All Conference, and junior Max Davis and sophomore James Sepelyak were second team All Conference. Robin Lebauer coached the swim teams.

State champion Elise Lankiewicz on the medal stand

• Playing in one of the toughest conferences in the state for boys’ basketball, the Friends team, coached by Brian Fahey, had an 11-9, state The 2012 Friends Mock Trial team tournament season, highlighted by wins over Archmere, Delaware Military, Tatnall, Tower Hill (3 times, not easy in any rivalry), and Wilmington Christian. The guys Spring2012 2012•••Friends Friendsmagazine magazine 11 Spring 2012 Friends magazine Spring

Winter

2011-2012

held #1 Sanford to 47 points in their second meeting, and scared #10 Mt. Pleasant, losing by just four points in the tournament opener; Mt. Pleasant went on to beat #7 Brandywine by more than 20. Sophomore Larenz Thurman was first team All Conference, and junior co-captain Sam Carney was second team All Conference.

The resurgent WFS indoor track team

Basketball co-captain Chazz Higginbotham with his parents on senior day • The girls’ basketball team, under head coach Carolyn Gates Connors ’81, qualified for the state tournament and had an early lead before falling to Indian River in the first round. In the 10-10 regular season, highlights included second-meeting wins over conference rivals Tatnall, St. Andrew’s, and Tower Hill, and a season finale win over A.I. du Pont to qualify for the tournament. Junior Lauren Kerrigan was first team All Conference, and seniors Beth Hill and Erica Brown were second team All Conference.

Basketball seniors Beth Hill, Erica Brown, and Kendall Flanagan; a fourth senior, Caroline McDonough, was injured.

• Indoor track was back this year—and how. At the state meet (all schools in one division), junior Cav Salvadori finished second in the 1600m (the “metric mile”) with the 20th fastest time in Delaware high school history, and then finished eighth in the 3200m.

In addition, five relay teams broke school records this season. Twenty12 Spring Spring2012 2012••Friends Friendsmagazine magazine

Delaware’s Assistant Football Coach of the Year Dick Kittle and WFS Football Sportsmanship Award winner, senior Michael Armstrong junior Bowman Benge, sophomores Thomas Conelly, Jesse Miller, and Dan Shaw, and team manager, sophomore Abby Deardorff; second team honors went to juniors Will Maguire and Chris Palmer and sophomore Bill Gordon; and junior Luke Magness and sophomore Zac Hinderhofer received Academic All State honorable mention.

• And a winter note about fall sports: Congratulations to Dick Kittle, who was honored as Delaware’s Assistant The wrestling team won two major invitational tournaments, crowned four Coach of the Year in footconference champions, qualified four wrestlers for the state meet, and had ball. At the same event, nine wrestlers earn Academic All State recognition. senior Michael Armstrong was recognized as the school’s recipient of four student-athletes joined the indoor the football sportsmanship award. track program under head coach Paul Nemeth.

• The wrestling team won two major invitational tournaments and went 7-4 in dual meets, including wins over Archmere, Sanford, St. Andrew’s, and Tower Hill. At the state meet, sophomore Jesse Miller won his first round match and a consolation bracket match to finish in the top eight at 113 lbs.

Four wrestlers qualified for states, out of one of the toughest qualifying tournaments: Jesse, sophomore Thomas Connelly (132), junior Will Maguire (145), and freshman Ian Furman (285).

Will, seeded #7, upset the #2 and #3 seeds at the qualifying tournament, and Ian qualified wrestling up a weight class. WFS had four first place medalists (first team All Conference) in the Independent Conference tournament: Zac Hinderhofer (106), Jesse, Thomas, and Luke Magness (170).

Wrestling also awards Academic All State Honors. Friends wrestlers earning first team Academic All State were

Performing Arts In addition to the wonderful winter concert season, including the allschool holiday celebration and the annual Kids Choir performance at the Brandywine River Museum, the eighth and fifth grades staged entertaining class musicals, and the Jazz Band and Chamber Singers presented an informal, Friday night concert in March. In addition to state and regional honors for choral performers (reported in the last issue of Friends), senior Christopher Getty (French horn) and junior Jack Hollingsworth (double bass) were selected for All State Orchestra and All State Senior Band.

Visual Arts • The November visit from alumnusartist Andy Wyeth ’66 inspired lower school students’ architectural drawings.

• Other lower school art projects on display this winter included fifth grade figurative sculptures, second grade leaf prints, and a “community sculpture” by the pre-k exploring cool and warm colors, texture, and reusable materials.

• Among the winter’s projects for IB student-artists were an activity called “drawmania” and a mid-term with a Mona Lisa motif.

• Middle school art students created digital works (as well as

Every Friends concert in lower and middle school (in this photo, the kindergarten/pre-first, first, and second grade concert) begins with a wave to family and friends.

Top, center: Kindergarten/pre-first, first, and second grade concert; above: the joy of the Early Learning Center/pre-kindergarten concert; and left: The band at the third, fourth, and fifth grade concert

Spring Spring2012 2012••Friends Friendsmagazine magazine 13

Visual Arts (cont’d.) two- and three-dimensional projects) including designs for green homes and public water fountains, and simulated billboards inspired by the book The Gospel According to Larry.

Among (again, many) Special Events…

• Then in early March, Devereaux (Devy) Rose Bruch ’55 met with middle school students—many of whom had read her autobiographical book, No, Mama, I Didn’t Die: My Life as a Stolen Baby— to talk about the writing process and about the amazing story recounted in her book of the kidnapping, illegal adoption enterprise led by the infamous Georgia Tann. While at Friends, Devy also enjoyed time with classmate Sara Hodge Geuder ’55.

Three Friends graduates led Lunch & Learn programs this winter, and visited with classes.

• In December, Jane Hayden Frelick ’37 discussed her experience as a Friends student, notably her participation in the “Experiment in International Living.”

Jane spent the summer of 1936 in Germany through the program.

• In January, Justin Hugelen-Padin ’04 talked about his experience as a Peace Corps volunteer in Togo, West Africa.

Devy Rose Bruch (standing) and Sara Hodge Geuder, both class of 1955, at Friends in early March 2012

Right: Cool keyboards at the all-school holiday celebration

Kids Choir (fourth and fifth grade optional activity) at the Brandywine River Museum

Center & above: At the middle school winter concert Left & far left: At the upper school choral and instrumental concerts

14 Spring Spring 2012 Friends magazine Summer 2011 • Friends magazine 2012 ••Friends magazine

• Students celebrated Chinese New Year (above and right) in lower school classes and with a week-long program of events and displays in middle/ upper school—including a front hall display of items made by students, performances by students and guests, a martial arts workshop, and special calligraphy mementos.

Winter

2011-2012

• Other winter events also bridged the divisions.

Seniors had a chance to visit with their first grade buddies after the all-school holiday celebration in December. Then in February, Early Learning Center and pre-k students walked up the hill to deliver valentines and candy to middle and upper school students—a welcome surprise.

• The sixth grade led a ZeroWaste Lunch Week program (left), to promote the use of reusable materials, recycling, and composting. Carlos Charriez, the sixth grade science teacher, advised the project, which included the development of a game for lower school students and monitoring waste disposal at lunch periods. The class met its goal of reducing waste by more than 50%, based on weight, compared to the previous week.

Another scene from the eighth grade musical, The Music Man (also see front cover) At the Jazz BandChamber Singers informal Friday night concert in early March

The fifth grade presented The Musical Adventures of Flat Stanley, Jr.

Spring Spring2012 2012•••Friends Friendsmagazine magazine 15 Spring 2012 Friends magazine 15

Winter

2011-2012

MLK Day

In an annual special event, the school observed Martin Luther King, Jr., Day with Meetings for Worship in each division, the lower school Among the off-campus community service Peace March, projects on MLK Day, students and parent and a morning of service on the Janu- Irene Blumberg joined faculty volunteers from East Side Charter School to paint one of ary holiday. 320 ESC’s main hallways. students, parents, and members of the faculty/staff participated in the Morning of Service this year.

Students from first through seventh grade did oncampus service projects, making lunches and baking pies for the Sunday Breakfast Mission and preparing “Meal to Go” kits for families at the Ronald McDonald House. Eighth graders and upper school students participated in off-campus service projects at 10 different sites in the community. The annual Morning of Service is coordinated through the QUEST Center, with leadership from parent volunteers and faculty service coordinators in each division.

Lower and middle school families and staff did on-campus service, benefiting Sunday Breakfast Mission and the Ronald McDonald House.

Kindergarten students led the annual Peace March before the lower school Meeting for Worship commemorating the life and work of Dr. King.

“That Was

Speakers and Films

John Hunter & The World Peace Game

I

n the film World Peace and Other 4th-Grade Achievements, one of the students says of his teacher, John Hunter, “He won’t answer my questions!” And indeed, Hunter traces the template for his career back to a question that was “answered” with another question. He asked the superintendent who first hired him to teach gifted students, a program for which there was then no prescribed curriculum, “What do I do?” She responded, “What do you want to do?”

That “cleared a space,” Hunter says, which is what he tries to do for students, “so that they can make meaning out of their own understanding.”

Hunter, who has been a teacher in Virginia public schools for more than 30 years, spent a day at Wilmington Friends in late January 2012—in classroom visits and meetings with teachers and parents, and at an evening screening and discussion of World Peace and Other 4th-Grade Achievements, which the filmmaker, Chris Farina, also attended. The film also has been shown, among other places, at the Richmond Peace Education Center, the Pentagon, the Martin Institute for Teaching Excellence, the TAMA Cinema Forum Film Festival in Tokyo, TEDx Conferences in Belgium and in Boston, and in the Middle East via Al Hurra Television, with planned events at Harvard Law School and a growing list of sites worldwide.

In January, John Hunter was named to the third-annual theGrio.com’s “100 list,” honoring “African-American history makers and industry leaders who have the potential to make a difference in the lives of all Americans.” Hunter was also featured in Time Magazine, as one of 12 “education activists for 2012.” And his talk at TED 2011 (the annual TED conferences have been described as “a four-day journey into the future, in the company of those creating it”) was chosen as the most influential TED presentation of the year. Hunter and Farina have been featured extensively in the national and international media, including a December 2011 profile on National Public Radio’s StoryCorps, National Teachers Initiative.

The visits and screening at Friends were made possible by funding from the Home & School Association and were organized through its Parents for Multiculturalism Committee.

Previous “PFM” movie nights have included Brother Outsider: The Life of Bayard Rustin, with director Bennett Singer, and The Prep School Negro with director André Robert Lee. The organizing focus of Farina’s film is the World Peace Game, which John Hunter has used as a teaching “space” since 1978. The game board started as a 4’ by 5’ piece of plywood, and has evolved into a 4’ by 4’ by 4’, Plexiglass structure with four levels—outer space, air and space, ground and sea, and underwater. The game includes four countries with different levels of assets, each country with a student prime minister and cabinet. In addition, students are assigned

Spring2012 2012 Friends magazine 16 Spring Summer 2011 • Friends magazine 16 ••Friends magazine

Amazing”

at Friends

And More Speakers

Thanks to Home & School

The Home & School Association started its speakers fund with proceeds from the 2007 auctionfundraiser, “An Evening With Friends,” under the leadership of then-presidents Katy Connolly and Tara Quinn. The partnership in bringing quality speakers and programming to school has been a success ever since.

The following year, led by Home & School co-presidents Suzanne Culver and Paula Swain, Friends (as part of a four-school speaker partnership with Sanford, Tatnall, and Tower Hill) was able to help fund a presentation by Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., M.S. Ed., from The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

In 2008-09, under presidents Denise Chapman and Cathy Parsells, Home & School made a large contribution toward founding the QUEST Center at Friends. Home & School was instrumental in funding the first Big Ideas Speaker event, featuring interfaith leader Eboo Patel.

Marisa de los Santos and Jane Hollingsworth were presidents of Home & School in 2009-10 when Friends hosted psychologist Robert Brooks, as the four-school speaker, and André Robert Lee, that year’s Parents for Multiculturalism guest, with his film, The Prep School Negro.

John Hunter visited Scott Rhodewalt’s Global Peace and Justice class and Brian Fahey’s fifth grade class. roles in the World Bank and United Nations, as arms dealers, and as a “weather god” who controls a random stock market as well as random weather events. There is also a saboteur, “a trouble-maker,” who works secretly to undermine what others have planned, thereby, Hunter says, “causing everyone to think more deeply.” Students negotiate with each other, form alliances, decide whether to attack other countries or to find other ways to achieve goals, and react to what others do—to conditions beyond their control.

The starting guide for the game is a 13-page crisis document, outlining 50 interlocking problems; as Hunter remarks with a grin, “If one thing changes, everything changes.” While playing

In 2010-2011, with Sherry Brilliant and Lee Broderick as presidents, Home & School sponsored a public screening of Race to Nowhere as well as Bennett Singer’s visit and the screening of his film about Bayard Rustin. This year, Friends students were panelists at a discussion of Singer’s film at the National Association of Independent Schools’ People of Color Conference.

This year’s Home & School presidents are Diane Beneck and Debbie Pittenger, who, with Parents for Multiculturalism Committee clerk Tracy McMillan and Family Resource Coordinator Susan Morovati Finizio ’87, led the sponsorship and organization for the John Hunter and Chris Farina visit (page 16).

Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

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the game, students read Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, which Hunter says helps students discover how “to overlook short-sighted reactions and impulsive thinking, and to think in a longterm, more consequential way.” The class wins the game if/when all of the 50 problems have been solved and each country has increased the value of its assets.

in tears—and so was Hunter.

The kids saw just how deep the grief was, even in imagination, and that affected their behavior going forward in the game. “I can’t design, plan, or test it,” Hunter says, “but that is an authentic assessment of learning.”

In the NPR StoryCorps feature, Hunter was joined by students who played the game both recently and more than a decade ago. In the interview, one of the younger students, Julianne, says, “Sometimes the World Peace Game feels like, you know, the weight of the world on your shoulders: This is exploding over here, this is firing over there, this is spilling oil. And I just look at the board and...I say to myself, ‘Oh my gosh, I need to fix this.’” She talks about how Hunter tells the class to, “know the consequences,” and how she thinks that principle should be applied in life as well. Julianne also thinks the game helps students learn to be more compassionate; “No matter where you’re from, your background,” she says, “you can still connect with someone else that you’ve never even met before.”

Hunter admits, with satisfaction, that he is not in control of the game, and he admits to the students that he doesn’t know the answers when it comes to how to win; it’s different for every group.

“I’ve learned to cede control to the students over time,” he says, “and to trust their collective wisdom.”

It’s true; he doesn’t Also featured in the NPR answer their quesinterview is Irene Newman, tions. “The World who played Hunter’s game After the film screening, Congressman John Carney speaks with Chris Farina and Peace Game,” John Hunter talks with Jocelyn Sutton Stewart ’82 (parent and trustee).

11 years ago, and who is Hunter says, “is now studying peace, war, and about learning to defense at the University of live and work comNorth Carolina at Chapel Hill. In her determination fortably in the unknown.” to win the game, Newman’s initial strategy had been “to take over everything.” “I started on that path Among the stories Hunter shared from the game: and quickly ran into a lot of problems,” she says. “I One year, a fourth-grade girl who was defense really began to understand as we were playing the minister of a poor country—“never mess with a game, we found peace more through cooperation nine-year-old girl with tanks,” Hunter warns—defied with one another.” her own prime minister and moved troops into a neighboring bigger, wealthier country to take control Another student, who was featured in the World of its oil fields. It turned out the girl had anticipated Peace film, said of the game, “You learn how to take the bigger country’s plan to invade all of the other care of the world.” Hunter himself summarized his countries, and by cutting off their fuel supply, had goal as “in a bloodless way,” to help students learn, prevented that action. “She used a small war to stop “how not to do what they think is wrong, how a larger war,” Hunter says, “which led to a discusto find out what is right in their own way and for sion: was that right?” themselves.” He concluded, “If only they can pick up a critical thinking tool or a creative thinking tool An especially poignant aspect of the game is that from this game, and leverage something good for the students have to write letters of condolence to the world, they may save us all.” fictional parents of fictional troops who die in battle.

One day, an actual parent was visiting the class View John Hunter’s talk at TED 2011, at http:// when a student was to read one such letter, and the www.ted.com/talks/john_hunter_on_the_world_ student suggested that the parent read it instead peace_game.html because, “it would be more real.” The parent started to read the letter, and by the second sentence, was

18

Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

Speakers and Programs

Sponsored and/or Hosted by Home & School (* denotes Friends parent, grandparent, or parent of alumni): 2007-08 11/8/07 Val Molaison, Ph.D.*, “Applying the

Alert Program for Self-Regulation

to Learning at all Ages” 1/10/08 Nate Terrell, MSW*, “Bullying” 2/27/08 4-School Speaker (at Tatnall),

Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., on helping

young people to manage stress 4/10/08 Rhonda Walter, M.D.*,

“Awareness of Alcohol Abuse in

Children and Teens” 2008-09 10/16/08 Bryan Garman*, Head of School, “Balancing Acts” 11/19/08 Bryan Garman*, Strategic Plan presentation 2/12/09 Nancy Wahler*, “Keep Your Child Talking” 4/1/09 4-School Speaker (at Sanford), Stephen Wallace, Chairman and CEO of SADD John Hunter with Parents for Multiculturalism 5/5/09 Committee Clerk Tracy McMillan Michael Reichert, Ph.D.*,

“Offering Lives of Possibility to Our

Boys and Girls: A Workshop for Parents” 2009-10 9/23/09 QUEST Big Ideas Speaker:

Eboo Patel 10/20/09 Gregg Miller*,

WFS Director of Technology,

“Social Networking” 11/11/09 4-School Speaker (at WFS),

Robert Brooks, Ph.D., on Resiliency 12/11/09 Nancy Wahler*,

“Staying Close to Your Children” 1/29/10 PFM Movie Night (with QUEST):

André Robert Lee,

The Prep School Negro 4/15/10 Peggy Brick*, “Never Too Early,

Never Too Late: Talking With Your

Children About Sexuality”

2010-11 10/6/10 QUEST Big Ideas Speaker:

Eric Chivian (QUEST funds) 10/14/10 Nancy Wahler*,

“Choosing Your Battles” 11/10/10 Lynn Puritz-Fine*, WFS Upper

School Dean for Students,

Frontline documentary The Lost

Children of Rockdale County 1/20/11 Bryan Garman*,

technology and education 1/28/11 PFM Movie Night: Bennett Singer,

Brother Outsider: The Life of

Bayard Rustin 2/10/11 4-School Speaker (at Tower Hill),

author Deborah M. Roffman,

“Sex and Sensibility: Raising

Sexually Sensible Children” 3/3/11 Public screening of the film

Race to Nowhere 2011-12 10/3/11 QUEST Speaker: Grace Lin

(QUEST funds) 10/13/11 Bryan Garman*,

“The Essential Conversation” 10/18/11 QUEST Speaker: Gish Jen

(QUEST funds) 11/16/11 Maria Alonso, Ph.D.,

“The Price of Privilege” 1/19/12 Anita Foeman, Ph.D.*,

“Helping our children develop the

skills to thoughtfully deal with differences” 1/27/12 PFM Movie Night: John Hunter and

Chris Farina, World Peace and

Other 4th-Grade Achievements 2/9/12 About QUEST:

QUEST Director Brandon Woods,

Stewardship Coordinator Susan

Finizio*, and students Virginia

DeWees, Richard Monari, and

Mitchell Juers 4/18/12 Lani Nelson-Zlupko, Ph.D., LCSW,

“Modern Parenthood: Raising Our

Kids Without Losing Ourselves” Coming in fall 2012, 4-School Speaker Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B-Minus

Spring 2012 • Friends magazine 19

150 YEARS AGO

i

j

TWO QUAKER BROTHERS

Bob Donaghy ’45

Looking Back

IN THE CIVIL WAR S. Rodmond Smith, Medal of Honor recipient

As we observe the 150th anniversary of the Civil War, it is interesting to note that two young Quaker boys, who had attended the old Friends School at Fourth and West Streets in Wilmington, distinguished themselves in the Union Army.

camped near Alexandria, Virginia and had the good fortune to be entertained by six attractive and vivacious girls from Wilmington’s Wesleyan Female College. The girls were visiting a classmate, Sarah (Sally) Ware, whose father, the mayor, favored the Union. (More later.)

In the spring of 1864, the war quickly became more serious with long marches in the rain and mud, sleeping and eating in the trenches, and dangerous encounters In 1829, the boys’ grandparents, Pennsylwith the enemy. On February 4, 1865, the vania Quakers Samuel and Sarah (Watson) Fourth Delaware Regiment was ordered Smith, arrived in Wilmington and joined to cross the partly frozen Rowanty Creek the Monthly Meeting. Samuel founded south of Petersburg, Virginia. Captain the Wilmington Boarding School for Boys Smith found a good spot to cross, dove located between Third and Fourth on West into the water, and called for his troops to Street, just one block from Friends School. follow. They engaged the Rebels and were The boarding school flourished until 1839 able to secure their position after crossing the when Samuel moved to Poughkeepsie, New creek. Rod gave the following statement when York. the battle was reviewed: “The water proved to be over six feet deep....but I was a strong The Smith’s eldest son, Albert W. (1818-1914), swimmer, and although encumbered by a haverwas born in Philadelphia and was educated at his sack, belt and cape overcoat, succeeded in reaching father’s school in Wilmington. From 1841 a small island in mid-stream, under a to 1845, he taught at Friends School heavy plunging fire which splashed the Rod and Linton were and then served as principal of older water around me.” This action resulted boys; he later was Overseer and on the Rod being nominated for the Medal of together during most of the in School Board (1888-1914). He joined Honor, which is awarded for bravery in the Wilmington Savings Fund Society action with the enemy and only to those war, but there were times and became secretary and treasurer from who distinguish themselves conspicuously 1851-1876. Albert and his wife, Elizabeth when they didn’t see each by gallantry above and beyond the call (Wollaston), were married in the Meeting of duty. The award is only made after a House in 1839 and became the parents of other for days at a time thorough investigation. It is not unusual six sons: S. Rodmond (Rodman), Linton, that Rod’s Medal wasn’t presented until when Rod was in battles Alexis, W. Harold, Arthur H., and Joshua 1897.

Ernest. and Linton was tending the

wounded as the only surAccording to Friends In Wilmington, Dr. Linton Smith— published in 1938, there are few writgeon in the regiment.

Battlefield Surgeon ten records covering matters at Friends School during the years 1846-1871, the In 1862, Linton was a 19-year-old first exact span of time during which the six Smith brothers attended the school. However, in June 1863, 45 boys, including the three year student at the University of Pennsylvania Medical School.

In 1863, when he heard the Union was suffering reverses, his youngest Smiths, had their grades published for public distribupatriotic feelings encouraged him to join Rod’s Regiment as tion! (See Friends School in Wilmington, 1948, p. 11.) a First Lieutenant, Assistant Surgeon. When the Delaware 4th became engaged in battle, he found the task of obtaining medical supplies and treating the sick and wounded dauntS. Rodmond Smith—Medal of Honor Winner ing. He probably would have been glad to change places with his brother in the trenches. Toward the end of 1864, he was After Friends School, Rod worked for a short time at the Wilmington Savings Fund Society and in 1860 he began reading promoted to Major and Full Surgeon, replacing his predecessor who had died of typhoid fever. law in the office of Edward G. Bradford. The Civil War began on April 12, 1861 when Fort Sumter was fired on and by July 1862, Rod, then 21, decided to interrupt his studies to volunSurrender at Appomattox teer. He began recruiting men for the Fourth Delaware Infantry and was commissioned a First Lieutenant.

Rod and Linton were together during most of the war, but there were times when they didn’t see each other for days at In October 1862, after training at Camp DuPont, Brandywine a time when Rod was in battles and Linton was tending the Springs, the camp was moved to the Kennett Pike to guard the wounded as the only surgeon in the regiment. Rod’s letter to DuPont Powder Works. In December, Rod’s Regiment headed south toward the battles to come. Around Christmas 1863, they his mother on April 11, 1865, notes his unit was advancing 20

Spring Spring2012 2012••Friends Friendsmagazine magazine

against the enemy when a halt was ordered and the battlefield surrender of Lee and his army was announced. Captain Smith had replaced the ill commander of the Delaware Battalion’s 3rd, 4th, and 8th regiments and was temporarily in command.

Both Rod and Linton had postponed their careers and ambitions to support the causes of the Union including the abolition of slavery and the opposition to secession threatened by various states. Both distinguished themselves with faithful and meritorious service....

On Palm Sunday, April 9, 1865, both brothers witnessed the gathering at Appomattox Court House and saw Generals Robert E. Lee and U. S. Grant leaving the McLean House after signing the military surrender: Rod near the house and Linton from his horse in the hills overlooking the village.

After the War—Rod and Linton Rod was mustered out in June 1865, returned to Wilmington to read law in 1866, was admitted to the Delaware Bar in 1867, and in November of that year married Sally Ware whom he had met three years before when his unit was encamped near Alexandria, Virginia. They had one daughter, Elizabeth (Bessie), who died in 1875, at age seven. She was named for her grandmother, Elizabeth W. Smith, who served on the Friends School Board (1874-1893) when Bessie probably attended the Primary School.

In 1869, Rod became secretary and treasurer of the Farmers Mutual Insurance Co. of Delaware. Then, in 1873 he was appointed U. S. Commissioner and Clerk of the U. S. District Court by Judge Edward G. Bradford and also received appointment by Judge William McKennan as Clerk of the Circuit Court.

He served the courts for 30 years.

having outlived his wife, Margaret, by 21 years.

Conclusion

Both Rod and Linton had postponed their careers and ambitions to support the causes of the Union including the abolition of slavery and the opposition to secession threatened by various states.

Both distinguished themselves with faithful and meritorious service and at the end of the Civil War were rewarded with brevet promotions: Linton to Lt. Colonal and Rod to Major. Rod’s Medal of Honor (Congressional) was one of only nine awarded to a Delawarean during the Civil War. Despite the Society of Friends’ “Rules of Discipline” against war, certain members of the Wilmington Monthly Meeting participated in the Civil War in various ways. Between 1865 and 1868, 31 of these expressed a desire that their memberships in the Meeting be continued. After serious consideration, their requests were granted, including that of Dr. Linton Smith.

Rod had spent three years in the Fourth Delaware Infantry and Linton two years as a Battlefield Surgeon with the same Regiment. Both brothers are buried with their families in the Wilmington and Brandywine Cemetery.

Note: Starting with the six brothers, the Smith family has accounted for approximately 30 Friends alumni, including two by marriage, and two current students.

Acknowledgements: Delaware Historical Society

After retirement in 1903, Rod lived in several states Delaware History, Vol. XXI, Fall-Winter, 1984, Number 2, including Florida, where he became Mayor of 86-116.

Miami. He died there in 1912 of TB at age 71, but Dr. Linton Smith, battlefield surgeon The Civil War Letters of S. Rodman and Linton Smith his wife, Sally, lived until 1937 when she died at (to their parents), with interesting editorial comments by age 93, outliving Rod by 25 years.

Robert F. Crawford, great grandson of Linton Smith.

Linton was also mustered out in 1865, and returned to the University of Pennsylvania where he received his MD. He married his childhood friend, Margaret R. Warner, in 1868. They probably had met at Friends School and the Wilmington Monthly Meeting (where Linton became a Trustee). The couple married in the Quaker tradition and raised their son and daughter, who graduated from Friends School soon after it began awarding diplomas.

Photographs: Courtesy of The Delaware Historical Society

After graduation from medical school, Linton elected not to practice medicine and in 1866 with a partner opened Smith and Painter Pharmacy on Market Street in Wilmington. In 1872, they began manufacturing and selling juices and flavors. The syrups were so popular they were sold all over the country and it was necessary to build a plant. By 1885, the drug business was closed and a larger plant was constructed, employing 50 workers. Linton retired in 1918 and died in 1927 at age 84,

Bevin, Wilson Lloyd, History of Delaware, 1929.

Sundry data taken from the minutes of the Wilmington Monthly Meeting by the Delaware Historical Society.

Scharf, J. Thomas, History of Delaware, 1609-1888.

Friends in Wilmington, 1738-1938.

Bush, Charles W., Friends School in Wilmington, 1948.

Conrad, Henry C., History of the State of Delaware, 1908.

McCarter, J. M. and B. F. Jackson, eds. Historical and Biographical Encyclopedia of Delaware, 1882.

Martin, Roger A., Delaware’s Medal of Honor Winners, 1993.

Every Evening (Wilmington), July 8, 1873.

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CLASS NOTES 1941

Lou Daudt, husband of Betty Valentine Daudt, passed away on January 11, 2012.

Lou’s brother, William Daudt, was a member of the class of 1933.

1945

Please see Bob Donaghy’s article on page 20.

Bob shares some of his research about Linton and Rodmond Smith, Quaker brothers who served in the Union Army during the Civil War.

1950

The Alumni Office recently learned that Judy Roberts, wife of James Roberts, passed away on October 27, 2011. Services were held on November 5th in Lewes.

1951

The Junior League of Wilmington recently honored Elizabeth “Biddy” Jenkins for her steadfast leadership as a Sustainer member.

1955

Devy Rose Bruch and Sara Hodge Geuder (See page 14.)

1966

Ben Osbun and Carol Mumford Osbun (See 1997.)

1975

A contributor to Huffington Post, Health and Wellness Editor for Napa Valley Life Magazine, and a radio host, Sharon Ufberg is a very busy health advocate. As her website, http:// drsharonufberg.com, says, “Dr. Ufberg has been featured in all media platforms, including Fox TV News, Martha Stewart and WBAI radio and We Heal New York magazine. She is an active advocate to empower women and men to take responsibility for their own health care and wellness.”

1976

Long time partners Tim Gibbs and Troy Havens celebrated their Civil Union Ceremony on February 11, 2012 after nearly 20 years together. Tim, a member of the WFS alumni board, commented that the law authorizing Civil Unions in Delaware, which went into effect on January 1, 2012, was a breakthrough for civil liberties and equality in the First State.

Former WFS teachers and students were in attendance, and with a perfect light snowfall, bagpiper, and close friends, Troy was heard to comment, “Finally, we’re legal.”

“Simon,” a robot John Biggs ’85 created with Mike Scanlan for the television show The Outer Limits 1985

This piece by John Biggs ’85 is called “Egg wing” and is fabricated from sterling silver, ebony, mahogany, and includes solar panels, pyrex glass, and micro motors. It is 20” x 11” x 11”.

John Biggs lives in Los Angeles where he has worked as an Animatronics Designer/Fabricator for more than 20 years. His work has been seen in a number of television shows and movies, including (to name just a handful) Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto, Edward Zwick’s The Last Samurai, and Jim Henson’s Muppets in Oz. Working with Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, John designed the robotics for the character Douglas and all of the creatures’ eyes for the 2009 film Where the Wild Things Are. In his artwork, John designs kinetic works with materials such as sterling silver, ebony, mahogany, and pyrex glass, and powers them with solar panels and micro motors. He exhibits his artwork around the country, including at the Smithsonian Craft Show. Among John’s current projects is a collaboration with artist Chris Burden—involving a small-version, four-stroke, single-cylinder motor designed by de Dion, and in the finished project phase, a blimp. John also consulted on Burden’s 2011 piece “Metropolis II” which is currently at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art and can be seen on YouTube.

John is married to Samantha Grisdale Biggs and has two daughters, Claudia (age 9) and Olivia (age 7).

1986

We received two wonderful updates from the class of 1986, following their 25th reunion.

The first from Elizabeth Kline Anglada: “I have three really great kids who are growing up way too fast! My youngest son, Colton, is almost 12. My daughter, Adelaide, is 15. And my oldest son, Dylan, will be 21 next month.

I’m not sure, but I think I was the first to have 1984 a child in our class, which was probably a surThe Alumni Office caught up by phone with Stace Homer’s mom, Virginia, who shared that prise to many of my classmates! After living in the Baltimore area for 15 years, I am now Stace is currently living and working in South the owner/operator of a small animal rescue Korea. He enjoys traveling extensively and farm in Southern living abroad. Some York County, PA. of his favorite des’What the Farm’ was Correction: tinations are China, a vision I always had Apologies to Judy Blake Schumacher ’56 India, and Africa. His in the back of my for the typo in her name as printed in our most recent excursion mind, and it came last issue. Since we left out the “u” in her was to an ice festival to fruition about last name, it is truly is an “IOU” to Judy! in Harbin, China. four years ago. I Again, apologies. now share my farm 22 Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

with a crazy collection of animals, including horses, goats, chickens, a cow, cats and dogs (alpacas coming in the spring!). It’s a lot of hard work, but a labor of love for sure. I have acquired animals in some crazy ways, though generally it’s been through owner-surrenders.

I seem to end up with the animals that folks can no longer take care of for various reasons, and that often comes about through word of mouth, craigslist/adoption websites, or friends.

Then again, I took my daughter to a nearby dairy farm for an ice cream cone one day, and ended up coming home with a calf!...Through a good friend here in PA, I ended up getting involved in the music industry of all things! I am involved with MyRuralRadio.com, a nonprofit, online radio station that features a wide array of independent music. I’m involved with Event Planning and Marketing for the station, and work closely with musicians in the area doing booking and music event coordination. We do a lot of charitable work through benefit shows and festivals. We enjoy helping those in need, and have done numerous events that have benefited local shelters, causes, and children’s hospitals. I think Friends School really instilled in me the importance of helping others in a creative, hands-on manner.

I cannot stress enough how amazing it is to still feel such a connection to old classmates.

Friends was really more than just a school for me, it was a community and a family, and I think that’s such a gift.”

A view from Elizabeth Kline Anglada’s ’86 “What the Farm” animal rescue farm.

David Cohen also sent an update about his life in sunny South Florida, where he is selfemployed at the Law Offices of David M. Cohen and handles personal injury, workers compensation, and medical malpractice cases. He is also preparing to open a private bank in the south Florida area with the hope of going national in the next few years with a few private investors. David wrote: “I live with my two sons, Zachary (14) and Gabe (6), who are hockey fanatics. We are season ticket holders to the Florida Panthers but remain loyal to the Flyers when they play anyone but the Panthers. I enjoy traveling including recent trips to Alaska, Europe, and the eastern and western Caribbean.”

1989

The concentration and engagement displayed in the photo (next page) of Jane Williams Moore and Trelly Vergara-Shaikh in their

Class notes

1989 Friends School science class suggest much of what was to come. Both women went on to medical school and are now working as doctors (as featured in Friends, Spring 2000).

Recently Trelly visited DE as godmother to one of Jane’s daughters (see second photo below). We asked them each for an update: Jane shared: “I went to UD undergrad, Thomas Jefferson Medical College, and Family Medicine residency at Christiana Care as well as a year as Chief Resident. I live in Newark, DE now with my husband and almost-three-year-old daughter Pamela and chocolate lab Libby. I have been practicing primary care in a group employed by Christiana Care for 11 years now. I see newborns to 90 year olds. Life is busy and primary care is challenging as well as being a mom and wife/ daughter, but I feel positive and fortunate for all that I have. Pamela attends the University of Delaware’s Early Learning Center and will hopefully start first grade at Friends in the future. I enjoy running and doing mini triathlons in the summer, but stick to a few competitions a season so I don’t compromise family time. I was able to see Trelly and her family at Christmas—she and Julie Boswell McCulloch are Pammy’s godparents.”

Trelly’s news: “Jane and I are still the best of friends, although I live now in Niagara Falls, Canada, and she lives in Delaware. I work in St. Catharine’s, ON as an Emergency Medicine Physician at a very busy community ER. I work part-time, so I am able to accommodate the kids’ hectic schedule (I have a 9 and a 7 year old). My husband is a Rheumatologist in the same city. I try to keep balance in my life by having time for myself to keep healthy and active, as well as time to take care of my family and my house. I graduated from

Jane Williams Moore and Trelly Vergara-Shaikh in their WFS science class, 1989

Pamela Moore’s baptism, with godmother Trelly VergaraShaikh, Jane Williams Moore, baby Pamela, and John Moore

ghetto is brilliantly captured and emotionally revealed in this captivating film. Street Dogs of South Central captures the truly challenging conditions in which these canines live and reveals how the dogs adapt with their innate abilities.” After graduating from college with a focus in animal behavior, Bill went on to earn a master’s in TV production.

1995 Claire Linnea Vinton and big brother Bosh Princeton University, attended Albany Medical College in Albany, NY, and did my ER training at Christiana Care Health System (same as JWM).”

Jennifer Johnson Vinton sent us this family update: “On September 12, 2011, BJ and I welcomed Claire Linnea Vinton into our lives.

She weighed 7 lbs. 9 oz. and measured 20.5 inches. She’s doing great and is adored by her older brother Brock (“Bosh” - 2.5 years old).

She joined Bosh at the Educational Enrichment Center (EEC) daycare in December and I am back to work full time at The Nature Conservancy (January marks my 17th year with TNC). BJ continues to be involved in many different projects including solar and recycling.”

1991 Rick Harper (See 1994.)

1994

John Gould was elected Partner by Arnold & Porter, and practices in the firm’s FDA and Healthcare group. John’s practice spans a broad range of compliance counseling and public policy matters for pharmaceutical and medical device manufacturers, and includes pro bono work in the patient advocacy area.

He lives in Virginia with his wife Caroline, a Visiting Professor at the George Washington University Law School, and their three-yearold son, Henry.

1997

In talking with class agent, Olivia Kurtz, about the upcoming 15th Reunion in October, the Alumni Office learned of a veritable baby boom for the Class of 1997. Photos and updates ensued, including Olivia’s own bundle of joy, Sophie. Olivia wrote, “Matt and I welcomed Sophie Catherine Meyer in June.

I’ve attached a recent picture of our happy 7 month old. After working for several years for Congressman Mike Castle, last year I moved over to the upper chamber to work as energy policy advisor for U.S. Senator Susan Collins from Maine.”

Annie Brownlee has been working in prospect research since receiving her MLS from Indiana University in 2001. After time at Brandeis, Brown, and Harvard College, she is now the Director of Development Research at Harvard Medical School.

A new baby boy has joined the Curran Harper crew. Amy Curran Harper and Rick Harper ’91, big brothers Wyatt (3 years old) and River (current WFS 6th grader) and big sis Molly (9th grader at WFS) welcomed Finn to their family on January 4, 2012.

Sophie Catherine Meyer Finn Harper

Molly Mahoney Reese and her husband Jon welcomed their new baby girl Finley Kate on December 14, 2011. Finley joins big sisters, Riley (5 years old) and Lucy (4 years old).

Bill Marin wrote, produced, and directed Street Dogs of South Central, a documentary narrated by Queen Latifah that aired on Animal Planet in February. As described on the Animal Planet website, “… the featurelength documentary follows the story of Elsie—a mother struggling to raise her litter of puppies in a harsh urban environment.

Every day, Elsie and her brood travel the streets of South Central in search of food and shelter. Their daily struggle for survival in the

Ainsley Dalrymple

Beckett Dalton

Baby Ainsley joined Nikki Goloskov Dalrymple and her husband in October.

Dahvia and Drew Dalton’s baby Beckett turned one on April 3, 2012.

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Class notes

Bob Pfeiffer and wife Echo welcomed Layla Belle on October 14, 2011, in Atlanta.

Gordon Fraley and wife Elisabeth welcomed Pendleton Lyons Fraley on August 15, 2011.

Gordon works in commercial real estate development, building office and apartment buildings in the DC area.

Jennifer Gatenby wrote from England: “Callum Anthony Balloch was born on March 17, 2011, in Portsmouth, England weighing 8 lbs. 7oz. I moved to England in 2002 for grad school and received an MA in Marketing. I met my husband, Frazer Balloch, in England. (I am originally from the UK but moved to the US when I was five.) My husband and I were married June 5, 2010, in St. Lucia.

I have had a year off of work on maternity leave and will be going back to work March 1st. I work for Compassion in World Farming (ciwf.org) a non-profit organization that campaigns peacefully to end all cruel factory farming practices.” The photo shows Jennifer and Callum outside the American Embassy in London, after Callum was granted his US citizenship.

Laura Kirk Kurz and husband Ken welcomed Clara Louise on August 19, 2011. She joined big brother Charlie (he’s 2.5). Laura wrote, “Ken and I are building a house on Maryland’s Eastern Shore and I’m now home with the kids but freelancing doing writing and design projects after working in non-profit public relations and communications for more than 12 years.”

Pendleton Lyons Fraley

Seth Rosenberg has his own private practice in West Chester, PA for psychological counseling, and shared of his work, “I work with clients dealing with a variety of concerns and problems in their lives including anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems/anger. I see a very diverse group of clients across gender, age, race, and economic backgrounds. Working with people who are seeking growth and change has been very challenging yet rewarding. I am very proud to have been able to start my own practice and look forward to my own continued growth.” Seth and wife Megan welcomed Jacob Leo on December 14, 2011, 7 lbs. 14 oz. in Philadelphia.

Layla Belle Pfeiffer

Kelly Osbun Rubincan shared that Logan James Rubincan was born August 1, 2011, at 8 lbs. 2 oz. and 20.5 inches. Proud grandparents Ben ’66 and Carol Osbun ’66 were said to be “thrilled.”

Jennifer Gatenby with Callum

Sara Weiss and husband Kevin Zimmerman were delighted to announce the birth of their daughter Nora Rosalyn Zimmerman, 9 lbs. 9 oz., born January 8, 2012. They “just love” being new Nora Rosalyn Zimmerman parents. Sara received her MAT from Tufts University and her MFA in Writing from Sarah Lawrence College. She is an assistant professor of English at Concordia College. The family lives in Nyack, NY.

Jacob Leo Rosenberg

Logan James Rubincan

Clara Louise Kurz

The Class of 2005: Where Are You Now? Each spring, we check in with alumni who are seven years “out” from their Wilmington Friends commencement. Thanks to all who took the time to fill out the survey online.

Rebecca (Katie) Adams is studying Art History at Montana State University. In spring 2010 she had the opportunity to study in Perugia, Italy. She is also the Art Gallery Manager at Planet Bronze Art Gallery. When asked to share thoughts about her Friends experience Katie said, “ I would like to thank Wilmington Friends for teaching me how to write; I find that in the academic world I am above average when it comes to academic writing and I have my education at Wilmington Friends to thank for that.”

Dalton & Associates, P.A.. He says, “I spent a year in Italy teaching English and American culture in a high school there after graduation.

I lived in Crema, Italy near Milan and greatly enjoyed living and working in a small town.

I spoke primarily Italian every day and got to interact with students and teachers in Italian and English. I came home with a greater understanding of a ‘global perspective’ and an international frame of mind that was instilled in me at Friends, grew at Dickinson College, and flourished while being abroad.”

Patrick Doyle attended Penn State University where he obtained a degree in Aerospace Engineering. He works at Wilhelm Ranch as Assistant Manager and Cattle Rancher.

Erin Aliquo received her degree in Business Administration from the University of Delaware. She is living and working locally in marketing for DesignDesign, Inc. She enjoys volunteering for Special Olympics and has volunteered with Meredith Seitz over a number of summers.

Michael Dalton graduated with a BA in History and Italian from Dickinson College in 2009. He works as a Legal Assistant at

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After receiving her BA in English from Marymount Manhattan College in 2009, Alex Dill moved on to NYU where she earned her MA. She works as a Specialist at Apple. Alex noted: “I did a study abroad program in Paris through the University of Delaware. All those years of French were a huge help, and in fact I am hoping to use my current job as a portal to get back there (at least for a little while). I studied Art History and Feminism in France.

The trip was enormously valuable in setting my goals and expectations for grad school.”

John Goswell graduated from the University of Delaware in 2010. He is now a student at the Catholic University-Columbus School of Law.

Erin Aliquo and Meredith Seitz have a long history of volunteering together with the Special Olympics.

Sarah Graves is a ninth grade biology teacher, ice hockey coach, and lacrosse coach at Cardigan Mountain School in New Hampshire.

She earned a BS in Biology from Haverford College in 2009.

Class notes

Sara Schell Wells sent us this update from Maryland: “We had a baby girl over the summer and her name is Cecilia. She’s a doll and [big brother] Liam just adores her. We got to have a homebirth, which was amazing, and Liam was there for the whole thing. It was an incredible experience for everyone, especially Liam. Cecilia was just a month old at the time [of the photo]. Liam looks like such a proud big brother.”

1998

West coaster Atha Mansoory wrote: “I’m enjoying all that the Pacific Northwest has to offer (great food, wine, beer, and outdoors), and live with my girlfriend, Alli, and my cat and dog (Midnite and Porter)….I graduated from law school, with a focus in commercial real estate, in 2008. I’m an attorney by trade and have worked in private practice doing small business, real estate, and employment-based immigration law. I’ve also worked a bit in real estate finance and communitybased development. I currently work for the Office of the Mayor in Portland, OR, advising on Economic Development, which encompasses a lot of different areas.”

Liam and Cecilia Wells

Gordon Lippincott ’04 (far left), of the band Mad-Sweet Pangs, was guest guitarist with Spokey Speaky, which includes Jeff Ferrara ’01 (center) guitar and vocals, and Jason Keenan ’01 (far right), guitar.

2000

Abigail (Abby) Rowan Smith was born to proud parents Harrison and Becky Klein Smith on January 13th at 7:39 pm, 8 lbs. 3oz, and 21 inches long.

2001

Jeff Ferrara and Jason Keenan played at The Queen Theater in Wilmington on February 24, 2012, with their band Spokey Speaky, Abigail (Abby) Rowan Smith and Gordon Lippincott’s ’04 band, MadSweet Pangs. The band’s website describes Spokey Speaky “as a four-piece band out of Wilmington, DE that aims to spread the positive vibes of reggae music through its soulful, high energy live performances. Playing a wide range of reggae classics

At this year’s Young Alumni Party in December: Danny Rhoades, Natalie Rosenberg, Sarah Graves, Steven Galinat Looking back at his time at WFS, Cal Habayeb wrote, “Friends provides a strong community of like-minded and ambitious individuals. I can honestly say that the majority of my friends to this day I met in high school at Friends.” Cal lived in Vienna, Austria, for seven months and has traveled all over Europe, Latin America, the Middle East, and North Africa. He completed a BS in International Finance and Marketing at University of Miami and works as a Consulting Analyst in Human Resources Consulting at Mercer.

WFS alumni cheered on the alumni bands at The Queen on February 24: Gabe Aliquo ’07, Meredith Seitz ’05, Erin Aliquo ’05, Jeff Ferrara ’01, Mike D’Amico ’04, and Gordon Lippincott ’04. Also in attendance but not pictured were Jason Keenan ’01, Austin Brown ’00 and Megan Ferrara White ’95.

James Hopkins graduated from Vanderbilt University in 2009, with a double major in Economics and English, and a minor in Corporate Strategy. During college he spent a semester studying in Galway, Ireland, and traveled to several European countries, including Spain, Holland, Belgium, Northern Ireland, and the Czech Republic. James now works in Market Development, Global Sales for Alibaba.com, and lives in China—Shenzhen (nearly a year) and Hangzhou (nearly 1.5 years). In addition to extensive travel within Mainland China, he has visited the Philippines, Macau, Hong Kong, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Taiwan, and South Korea, where he had dinner with Chi-Hun Rim ’05 in Seoul. James wrote, “Friends fosters intellectual curiosity and openness, both of which have been crucial for me in adapting to and building a deeper understanding of a radically different place. It engenders a very simple desire to relate to people in disparate countries and contexts.”

Nate Hoffman graduated from Case Western Reserve University in English & Economics in 2009, and now works with ISN Corporation as a Proposal Manager for government

contracts. Nate traveled to Brazil with the Case Western Reserve men’s varsity soccer team in the summer of 2008 to play a number of “friendlies” and to experience Brazilian culture. After graduation, he traveled to Italy, Croatia, the Czech Republic, and Spain.

He has lived and worked in Cleveland, OH and Washington, DC since graduating from CWRU. Ellen Johnston is with Teach for America in the Dallas Independent School District as a sixth grade math teacher. Ellen received a BA from Southern Methodist University in 2009 and studied abroad in Cannes, France, during the summer of 2007 and in Copenhagen, Denmark, during spring semester 2008.

Molly Ketcham graduated with a degree in Biological Sciences and Psychology from the University of Delaware in 2009. She studied abroad in Ecuador, Brazil, and Argentina; lived in Costa Rica and Nicaragua; and has traveled to Peru, Panama, England, Italy, the Czech Republic, Austria, and Hungary. She is currently a medical student at Weill Cornell Medical College and has volunteered as Director of Camp Phoenix and Director of the Big Buddies program.

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Class notes

from the old school to the new, the goal of the members is to satisfy and entertain reggae fans, while enlightening those who may not have been exposed to the genre otherwise.”

2002

Kate Lester graduated from Washington & Lee University School of Law in May 2011 and passed the Delaware Bar in October 2011. She now clerks for the Honorable Joseph R. Slights, III, and resides in Wilmington.

2003

Gordon Lippincott (See 2001.)

Congratulations to Jacqueline Mellow for having not one, but TWO cover designs published for Newsweek magazine in one month (February 2012). Jacqueline works as an Art Director at Saatchi & Saatchi in NYC.

2004

Maddie Kirk Sharpe shared wedding news: “I married Will Sharpe on May 29th, 2011 in Wilmington, Delaware. We honeymooned in Bora Bora and are currently living in Tulsa, OK, enjoying our married life. We had a wedding Kate Lester, Adrienne Monley, and Beth party full of WFS alumni: Sarah Hopkins (all 2002) met in February to start Lester, Kay Binetti and Laura planning the upcoming Reunion.

In December 2011, Director were bridesmaids, and Adrienne Monley completed her MBA Austin Kirk ’09 was the Man of Honor!” (See program at the Simmons School of Managephoto on next page.) ment in Boston, MA. Prior to graduating, Adrienne worked at Vanguard’s headquarters on the Pennsylvania Main Line for her MBA summer internship. She was subsequently offered a position in the company’s full-time MBA Leadership Development Program (a management rotational program).

After living in Boston for nearly six years, Adrienne moved back to the Delaware/Philadelphia area in January to begin her new role at Vanguard. Adrienne tells us she is happy to be reconnecting with WFS, and will be working with Beth Hopkins and Kate Lester to plan the 10th reunion for the class of 2002.

Newsweek cover designs by Jacqueline Mellow

2005

See “Where are you now?” section, beginning on page 24.

2006

Alexandra Coppadge had a “community voice” column published in the Wilmington News Journal on March 5, 2012. Alex posed the question, “is Delaware’s largest city ready for a white mayor?” She concluded, “It was America’s adamant desire for change that spearheaded the election of President Barack Obama, and in Wilmington it is this same call for change that may lead to the election of the city’s first white mayor in almost 20 years.” Alex is a Brooklyn, NY-based television reporter, but still calls Wilmington home.

Class Agent Linda Donatoni reported on the 5th reunion in November: “Our ’06 class reunion went great! We met on Friday (November 25th) at Kelly’s Logan House.”

(See photo on next page.)

2007

Congratulations to Caitlin Garrigan-Nass who received a Fulbright Scholarship, after graduating from Wake Forest. And thank you to the proud classmates who shared the good news with us.

Katie McEnroe is a graduate assistant at Washington College in Maryland, obtaining her masters in Psychology. She is working as an assistant coach for the field hockey team and also as an Admission Representative.

Jane Monari, a graduate student at the Royal Academy of Music in London, was visited this winter by her cousin Natalie Wenigmann ’13.

Natalie is enrolled in School Year Abroad in

The Class of 2005: Where Are You Now? Ricki Kaplan graduated from American University with a BA in Public Communication and Marketing in 2009. She studied abroad in Rome, Italy, and has also traveled to Paris, London, Barcelona, Florence, Venice, and Amalfi. Ricki works as an account manager for the Ad Council, and volunteers at the American University School of Communication as a mentor for undergraduate students.

She is also a member of the Advertising Week DC Planning Committee, and serves as the Ad Council Internship Coordinator.

Kelly Patton Klein was recently married to fellow Wilmingtonian Ricky Klein, whom she met when they were both in Vermont for college. Kelly kindly updated us upon her return, literally when her plane landed, from Norway, where she and Ricky honeymooned.

Kelly graduated from Middlebury College with a degree in Mathematics in 2009, and now works at Gong Fu Tea in Des Moines, IA, and volunteers as Board President of the Iowa Refugee Support Project (www. iarefugeesupport.org). This description of her volunteer work appeared in Eastern Iowa Life in May 2011: “When I moved to Des Moines in August 2009, I didn’t know much about 30 26

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refugees, and I didn’t know anything about the AmeriCorps VISTA program. All I knew was that I wanted to find a job where I could help others in a non-discriminatory way. So when I heard about the opportunity to help Iraqi refugees learn English and find jobs as an AmeriCorps VISTA, I accepted. That year-long position completely changed my life.” During her VISTA year, Kelly did the filing for the program’s non-profit status (as the Iowa Refugee Support Project) so the organization could become sustainable, and now, after serving the organization as a volunteer Executive Director for two years, they have been able to hire an Executive Director, and she has been able to transition to the role of board president.

James Melnick lives in New York City, where he works for the Soros Fund Management as an Associate. He graduated in 2009 with a BS from Duke University, and also studied at the London School of Economics. James has traveled to England, France, Colombia, Argentina, Uruguay, and Brazil, where, when we heard from him, he was involved in a work project.

James is in his third year as a volunteer at Harlem Academy, where he serves as Director of Recruitment.

Jeff Monhait graduated with a BA in Psychology from Haverford in 2009. He is a student at Harvard Law School, Class of 2012.

After graduating from Friends, Natalie Rosenberg went to Ursinus College where she earned a BS in Biology and Spanish. She then moved on to the University of Delaware where she received a MS in Health Promotion.

She is now pursuing her BS in Nursing at UD through the Accelerated Nursing program.

Zach Rowen graduated from the University of Virginia in 2009 with a degree in Economics and Political Theory. He expects to receive his J.D. in May of 2012 and will be working at Latham & Watkins in NYC starting in the fall of 2012. Zach wrote, “The one thing I will take away from my experience at WFS is the sense of balance it instilled in me. Due to its size, there is an opportunity—and to some degree, an expectation—to get involved in a range of activities outside of the classroom. At WFS, any given student can excel in the classroom, on a baseball field, and on stage. That opportunity, to a large degree, stems from the teachers’ belief that the students here are capable, responsible, and mature. They hold us

Class notes

France for her junior year, and was on vacation in the U.K. Courtney Nix recently moved to Washington, DC, to start her marketing career.

2009

Bill Broderick spent a term abroad in the Budapest Semesters Mathematics program.

Jane Monari ‘07 and Natalie Wenigmann ‘13 in London Maddie Kirk Sharpe ’04 was joined by WFS alumni in her May 2011 wedding party: Laura Director ’04 (first at left), Austin Kirk ’09 (right of Maddie), Kay Binetti ’04 (next to Austin), and Sarah Lester ’04 (second from right).

Austin Kirk (See 2004.)

Taking a leave of absence from Williams College to focus on acting, Andrew Trainor recently scored a role in the upcoming sci-fi thriller, Mind’s Eye.

2011

Chad Wood ’11, Julie Ly ’11, Katie Grover ’11, James Kocher The upper school ’13 who played the role of “Rooster” in the upper school musical, Annie, musical Annie, and 2011 Class Agent Javi Horstmann brought back a nice group from our most recent graduating class (see photo above).

School received notice that Matt Kempner was named to the Dean’s List at Ithaca College.

to a high standard—a standard that requires us to not only be students, but contributing members of a tight-knit community. That sense of responsibility is something that I have carried with me ever since…Although I have a number of fond memories of WFS, there is one thing that I will absolutely never forget: the opportunity to play football for Coach T during my senior year. Where else can a student just decide to play football during his senior year? I had never put pads or a helmet on in my life. Coach T gave me not only the opportunity to be a part of the team, but also to play. I vividly remember our games— particularly against Tatnall and Tower Hill.

I remember certain plays; I remember going away to training camp before the season. But beyond the memories, that season instilled in me an instinct to jump at opportunities when they present themselves—even if it means venturing into uncharted waters. It taught me that sometimes I am capable of more than I realize; and it taught me that sometimes the best experiences—indeed the most memorable ones—are those that are unplanned.”

2006 Class Reunion, from left to right: Ben Zorach, Emily Swain, Brad Albertson, Ben Altman, Michael Schell, Kate Walczak, Sarah Bartle (at front), Pete Williams (at back), Therese Quinn, Linda Donatoni, Meg Christman, Katie Hunt (up front), Jeremy Lo (in the middle, to the back/ right of Katie Hunt), Ethan Timmins-Schiffman (way in the back), Jen Rosenberg, Chris Collier, Andrew Holstein, Eric Pacheco (up front), Eric Preisendanz (in the back), Libbie Goodill.

After receiving her BA in Business Administration with a minor in Japanese from Arcadia University in 2009, Emily Scott started to focus on her clothing line. She is a dress designer and founder of her own dress company, working with private clients as well as starting up a sustainable dress line and a children’s dress line. She also mentors through Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Delaware.

Debra Shlossman received her BS in Chemical Engineering from Lafayette College in 2009, and works as an engineer for ExxonMobil.

She studied abroad in Madrid, Spain, for a semester, in Australia and New Zealand for a winter session, and worked in Sicily for three weeks and in India for six weeks.

Debra wrote, “I have traveled to many other countries (so far six of the seven continents... just missing Antarctica). I travel abroad as much as I can, not only because I want to see all the famous sites and have a lot of fun, but because I have a strong desire to learn about other cultures...a desire I attribute greatly to the values I learned at WFS.” Debra added, “WFS teaches its students more than just math and history. It teaches its students a way of thinking, where questioning everything and

desiring to learn is the norm. Moving on after WFS and interacting with new peers that did not have the opportunity to go to Friends, I realized that Friends gave us the intellectual curiosity that set our drive in life higher than those around me. Friends guides students to care about the world, to care about others, to care about the environment, and to want to contribute to society. Friends teaches students an open-mindedness about the world that makes students want to learn about different cultures, different beliefs, and different ways of thinking, which leads to understanding, which leads to tolerance...something the whole world would benefit from. I have watched all of my friends from WFS excel in college, graduating at the tops of their classes, because we learned a work ethic, study skills, and a desire to succeed at WFS that will take each one of us very far in life.”

Meredith Seitz graduated with a BA in Political Science and History from the University of Vermont in 2009. She is working toward a Masters in Public Administration at the University of Delaware and expects to graduate in 2012. Meredith also works as a Political Director for the Delaware Democratic Party.

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Class notes

Celebrating with Friends This past December 22nd, the Alumni Office hosted two simultaneous events in Wilmington. In addition to the always popular annual Young Alumni Party (at Kelly’s Logan House), there was an event for both alumni and parents event at the BBC Tavern in Greenville, a guest bartender night with all tips going to the 2011-12 Annual Fund. And the tips were good! We raised more than $1,500, and the owner of the BBC told us he’d never seen the place so packed. Thank you to all of our bartenders, from alumni and parents of alumni to faculty and staff; it was truly a team effort and certainly paid off.

Above: Martha White ’83, Meg Gehret Erskine ’83 and John Biggs ’85 Top: Perrin Downing ’09 , Parent of Alumni (and Director of Admissions) Kathy Hopkins, and Carrie Hopkins ’08 Right: Austin Carr ’09, Grant Walczak ‘09, Reity O’Brien ‘08, Bobby DeWees ‘08, and James Baczkowski ‘09

The Class of 2005: Where Are You Now? After receiving her BA in Anthropology from University of Delaware in 2009, Alyssa Serra went on to obtain a Masters of Science from Sussex in 2011. She is working in Haiti at the Children’s Nutrition Program of Haiti as a Safe Water Manager. Alyssa wrote about her work: “Children’s Nutrition Program (Kore Timoun) has been in Haiti for the past 12 years. They are an organization that initially responded to problems of acute malnutrition in the province of Leogane, which is situated in what is considered the western sector of the country. Over the past five years, they have shifted their focus to issues of chronic malnutrition…we are in the early stages of getting two programs off the ground, the first of which is a biosand filter project. In nonengineering terms, these are small concrete boxes filled with sand that filter people’s water. They require almost no maintenance and are nearly 100% effective at filtering out pathogens, which makes them a useful tool for people to use while the state works to improve its water sector. DINEPA is the state agency that deals with water, and I’ve been really impressed with them since I’ve been here.

They’re working to expand and better their services, and I think they’re going to accom28

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plish a lot in the next a chemical engineer at 5-10 years.” When some oil company, and we asked Alyssa for several who are pursuher reflections on her ing careers as musitime at Friends, she cians. I think Friends said: “I can think of probably was influenmore than a handtial in encouraging us ful of teachers that to follow what we were were really amazing: passionate about, and Matt Micciche, Ms. to learn how to not Chung, Jake Rashonly do it well, but to kind, Butterqueen excel at it.”

(Mrs. Butterfield).

Alisha Wolf and Natalie Rosenberg at this year’s Young From Alisha Wolf: “I Katy Kenney taught Alumni event in December started at Wilmington me how to write, Friends in the fall of although this email probably isn’t doing her 1992 as a kindergartener and graduated in the much justice. Marcia Halperin was my senior spring of 2005. Some of the memories that thesis advisor, and was absolutely incredible. stand out for me about Friends are: religion Javier Ergueta was one of the nicest people I classes with Mr. Bernard, late nights workhave ever met. I can’t think of any one experiing on the yearbook with Mrs. Woodward, ence from Friends that particularly influenced yearly meeting for worship at the meetinghouse my trajectory. I know that I was around in Wilmington, the wonderful attention and people who were wickedly smart and had a support provided by every one of my advisors, wide range of interests. Two of my friends are each year, the family feeling of the Friends comin med school, one at Harvard law, one playmunity where teachers, students and parents ing poker professionally in Vegas, one worked support and care for one another….My experion the Obama campaign for two years, one in ences at Wilmington Friends School taught me Morocco in the Peace Corps, one working as many things. The Quaker education I gained

Class notes

Top left: Maureen Redfearn Murphy ’85 and Martha Poorman Tschantz ’85 Top right: Laura Director ’04, Sarah Lester ’04, and Andy McEnroe ‘04 Center left: Katy and Chip Connolly ’79, Julie Tattersall McGinnis ’82, Pete Townsend ’75, and current parent Susan Terranova James Melnick (center) and Fazeel Khan visited with Rick Grier-Reynolds at the NY Reunion in May 2011, before Rick’s retirement from WFS.

Center right: Chris Farrell ’89, Kim Massih Dolan ’89, and Andy Houston ’89

from Friends taught me to be a teacher who strives to identify and develop the intellectual and creative talents of each and every one of my diverse students. I hope to create students who become, as Friends taught us to become, ‘independent thinkers with a conscious responsibility to the good of all.’” After graduating from Wilmington University, Alisha became a ninth grade teacher in English Special Education in the Colonial School District. She also volunteers annually for HOSA and as the WFS Class of 2005 representative.

Above left: Pooja Yadav ’08, Carrie Hopkins ’08, and Renee Hoscheit ’08 Left: Kristi Kerrigan ‘08, Lena Bradley ‘07, Brooke Sheppard ‘07, and Katie McEnroe ‘07

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IN MEMORY 1935

Julia Matchett Gunn, age 94, passed away on December 12, 2011. A native of Birmingham, Alabama, she was a longtime member of Briarwood Presbyterian Church. Mrs. Gunn was an accomplished artist and painted with the Village Painters for many years. She was preceded in death by her husband, a son-inlaw, and a grandson. She is survived by three children, six grandchildren, and six greatgrandchildren.

1937

Elinore Lincoln Bachman passed away peacefully on February 17, 2012 at her residence in Brooklyn Heights, NY. She was 93. Born in Cambridge, MA, Elinore attended Horace Mann and St. Agatha’s in Manhattan and Friends School prior to graduating from Wellesley College. While raising her family she became an accomplished dressmaker, tailor, milliner, embroiderer, knitter, and toleware painter. She served on many community boards and as president of the Junior League and Mrs. Field’s Literary Club of which she became an honorary member. An inveterate reader, Mrs. Bachman possessed a lifelong interest in the arts. She engaged in amateur theatrical productions. After attending the National Academy School for painting for two years in her 50s, she pursued additional studies with professional artists here and abroad.

She exhibited widely in solo and group shows while receiving several awards. She considered herself very fortunate to be able to travel extensively and to paint into her 80s. Elinore’s survivors include two daughters and two grandchildren.

1942

Sue Fenimore Ford passed away in Huntsville, TX, on November 22, 2011. She was 89 years old. Sue was born in Wilmington.

After contracting measles at the age of 18 months, Sue was left profoundly deaf and lost the ability to speak. Her father, a doctor, refused to accept that she could not learn and continually tutored and demonstrated to her how the vocal chords and diaphragm worked to make speech. Ahead of his time in medical treatments, he would not allow Sue to be treated “differently” and thus enrolled her in public school so she could learn from observing other children. Sue became a flawless lip-reader and eventually learned to speak without any outward signs of deafness. Later in life, many people did not even realize she was deaf. Sue then began attending Wilmington Friends, where she played varsity basketball. Sue attended Washington College, where she majored in Chemistry. Her dream was to follow in her father and mother’s footsteps in the medical field and become a registered nurse, but because no special provisions were made at the time for people with disabilities, she was told this would be impossible. Once surgical masks were put on, there would be no way for her to read lips in the operating suite.

Sue married Harry Brown in 1945, and the couple had four children. This marriage later ended in divorce. In 1964, Sue married child-

hood friend Edward Ford, who had two small children; the couple had an additional child, bringing the blended family to a grand total of seven children, and the family resided in Arlington. Although the marriage to Edward ended in divorce, Sue remained in Arlington where she was very active in civic and community organizations. In 2003, Sue moved to Conroe, TX to be closer to family. Sue is survived by a half-sister, seven children, nine grandchildren, a great-grandson, and a greatgreat-grandson.

1944

William Pancoast Harris, 84, of Cape May, NJ, and formerly of Lexington, MA, passed away after a long struggle with dementia on October 4, 2011. Bill was born in Wilmington, and attended Friends School for 11 years. After a year and half at Penn State, he served in the U.S. Navy. He then completed his degree and went on to earn a Ph.D. in Psychology at the University of Chicago. He was a senior staff member of Lincoln Laboratory, an air defense research lab of M.I.T, for 30 years. He was a creative thespian, and worked on 50 amateur and semi-professional productions, mostly as an actor, in Wilmington and the Boston area. A Memorial Meeting for Worship was held on October 29 at the Seaville Friends Meeting. Bill is survived by his wife of 61 years, Lois, five children, and seven grandchildren. His brothers Henry ’36 and Thomas ’41 also attended Wilmington Friends School, as well as his first cousin Carolyn Dowds ’45.

1945

Former Trustee Joseph Geoghegan passed away on January 8, 2012. Joe is survived by his wife Geney, and their three children, David ’75, Susan Geoghegan Henshall ’77, and Brian. Joe is also survived by eight grandchildren, three of whom are graduates of Wilmington Friends, James ’05, Sara ’08, and Joe ’11. In addition, Joe is survived by Shokie Bragg ’79 and his wife Elizabeth Krewson Bragg ’82, and their daughters including Mira Bragg ’11. Joe’s daughter-in-law, Sue Geoghegan, is a prekindergarten teacher at Friends. Joe grew up and spent his childhood years in Delaware City. His last two years of high school were spent at Wilmington Friends, where he later became one of the first two non-Quakers to serve on the Board of Trustees, which he later chaired. At the age of 16, Joe went to Yale University, graduating as Secretary of the Class of 1948 at age 19. Between Yale and Columbia Law School, he spent four months working in the Gulf of Mexico on an oilrig as a roughneck. After law school, Joe entered the U.S. Navy, serving as an Air Intelligence Officer based in Norfolk, VA. During this period, dressed in a dashing white dress uniform, he married Imogene Bragg of Greenwich, CT, in 1953. Returning to Wilmington, he joined the law firm of Potter, Anderson, & Corroon specializing in Trusts and Estates. Joe loved the outdoors. He enjoyed fishing, hunting, and gardening. Cassons Neck, located on the

Little Choptank River in Maryland, was a place always in his thoughts. Here he often spent time boating, hunting, catching fish, crabs, and the occasional oyster. He loved consuming what he caught or grew. Joe was an avid reader with special interest in the New York Times, Civil War history, and presidential autobiographies. He loved the works of Winslow Homer, seeking out museums with Homer’s paintings. He often attended the theater and encouraged everyone to look up words in the dictionary. Joe was a member of the Wilmington Rotary Club, George Washington Society, Lincoln Club, and various other Wilmington organizations. He was an active participant on a number of committees and boards, including the Visiting Nurses Association, Grace United Methodist Church, and Delaware Bar Association. A lifelong Democrat, Joe loved connecting with all kinds of people, had a great sense of fun, and was remarkable at remembering names. The family generously designated Friends School for memorial gifts.

1946

Charles Frederick Benzel, Jr., 83, of West Chester, passed away on March 8, 2012, at the Crosslands Retirement Community. He was the husband of Ann Winslow Shelnutt ’47 with whom he shared 60 years of marriage.

Born in Milwaukee, Charles was a graduate of Friends School of Wilmington and The University of Delaware where he majored in business. After serving as a 2nd Lieutenant in the United States Army during the World War II era, he embarked on a long, successful career as a financial advisor and stock trader, serving for many years as manager of the Wachovia Securities office in Greenville. Charles was an avid horseman and enjoyed competing in steeplechase races in his younger years. His passions were the stock market, horses, his family, and the farm he and Ann bought together in 1962. In addition to Ann, Charles is survived brother, John Benzel, M.D. ’51, six children, and eleven grandchildren.

Cynthia Jane Lake MacColl passed away on February 27, 2012 in Waterville, ME. After attending Centenary Women’s College, she married, raised four children, and worked in Moorestown, NJ, spending much of each summer in her beloved Belgrade Lakes, ME. She loved Maine, moving there full time in 1985. Cindy’s last employment was at Shaw’s in Augusta, where she made friends of many customers and co-workers during 23 years, retiring in 2010 at age 81. Cindy appreciated nature, the call of the loons, the serenity of a Long Pond sunset, trips in her classic Corson boat “My Friend,” gardening, and the change of seasons. She was a talented crafts person, and cherished spending time with, and talking to, her friends, old and new. She received many kindnesses in the past year as aging took its toll. Cindy is survived by her four children and their families. She is also survived by her former husband C. Thomas Attix ’45.

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IN MEMORY

1949

Mrs. Alice J. Hirst, age 80, of Landenberg, PA, passed away on February 6, 2012. A native Delawarean, Mrs. Hirst was born in Wilmington. She earned her bachelor’s degree from the University of Delaware in 1953. A talented homemaker and loving wife, mother, and grandmother, Mrs. Hirst devoted her life to caring for her beloved family. In her leisure hours, she greatly enjoyed gardening, sewing, and watching birds and other wildlife around her home. She especially delighted in spending summers with her family in Avalon, NJ. She is survived by her husband of 59 years, Harvey, two children, and four grandchildren.

1954

Ann Mayfield Porter, of Wilmington, passed away on December 17, 2011, due to complications associated with Alzheimer’s disease. Mrs. Porter was born in Wilmington and graduated from Wilmington Friends School, where she began her loving relationship of more than 60 years with John F. (Jack) Porter III ’52. They married in 1956. Ann was also a graduate of Bradford Junior College. A graceful and gifted athlete throughout her youth, she later pursued her interests in golf, tennis, and squash with her many friends at Wilmington Country Club. She expressed her decorating talents by establishing a retail shop in Centerville and later a home decorating and furnishings service. Her fondness for all creatures led her to many years of service to Delaware SPCA. Ann and her husband of 55 years centered their lives on their family and many friends throughout the Brandywine Valley, the Jersey

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Shore, and Naples, Florida. In addition to Jack, she is survived by daughters Leslie Porter ’76 of Rockville, MD, Nina Porter Winfield ’79 and Jamie of Wilmington, DE, Sophie Porter Rohrer ’83 and Bob of Amherst, NH; granddaughters Brooke ’15 and Katrina ’20 Winfield, Maisy and Kylie Rohrer, and grandson Jason Rohrer; sister Julia Mayfield Morrow ’51 and Ed ’51 of Memphis, TN; sisters-in-law Gail Porter Anderson ’56 of Wilmington, DE and Joan Porter Wideman ’51 and Ron of Ponte Vedra, FL; and a number of nieces and nephews.

Friend of Friends

Honorary alumna Josephine Clapp Osbun, 89, died peacefully at home on February 18, 2012, surrounded by family, after a brief illness.

“Jo” was a steadfast supporter of Wilmington Friends School, and was a devoted fan especially of Quaker wrestling. Jo had joined us for the event at the Delaware Art Museum this winter, less than two weeks before her death.

Born in Toledo, Jo considered Savannah, GA, her home after moving there in 1929. She graduated from The Emma Willard School and Smith College. Jo served her country in World War II at the Carter Memorial Laboratory in Savannah as a 2nd Lieutenant (U.S. Army) in the United States Public Health Service researching mosquito control in order to save U.S. soldiers from malaria and other tropical diseases.

In 1947, she married Ben Mather Osbun.

They raised their family in several cities in the

South before his career with DuPont brought them to Wilmington in 1959. He preceded her in death in 1978.

A lifelong volunteer, Jo gave her leadership, energy, and enthusiasm to many organizations, including Christ Church Christiana Hundred, The National Society of the Colonial Dames of America, her Alma Maters, Junior League, Garden Club of Wilmington, Winterthur Museum, University of Delaware Library, and the Women in Military Service for America (WIMSA). As a youngster, Jo was an accomplished equestrian and throughout her life found many creative outlets for her talents through painting, knitting, needlepoint, gardening, and travel photography. A true adventurer, she immersed herself in the culture of countries she visited. She enjoyed racquet sports and golf (highlighted by a hole-in-one at Wilmington Country Club). Born with an inquisitive mind and a passion for reading, there was rarely a time a book was not open in her home.

A devoted mother, with boundless pride in her four sons and their offspring, Jo is survived by Ben Mather Osbun Jr. ’66 and his wife Carol ’66 of Wilmington; Charles Clapp Osbun’68 and his wife Biddy of Birmingham, AL; Raymond Justus Osbun ’71 and his wife Shelby of Birmingham, AL; Eric Staats Osbun and his wife Kate of Bloomfield, NJ. Jo’s six grandchildren include two alumnae, Katherine Osbun Maki ’92 and Kelly Osbun Rubincam ’97. She is also survived by five great-grandchildren and two cousins.

IN CLOSING

In Closing: Simply Happy As part of their study of the Quaker testimony of Simplicity, third graders finished (and illustrated) the sentence, “I am simply happy when….”

A few examples: I am simply happy when…

I make my dad laugh.

I get to play with my friends. my teachers read me a story.

I am playing with my sister.

I can run and play with my dog all day on weekends. the Phillies win the World Series.

I have a roof over my head.

I daydream.

Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

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101 School Road Wilmington, DE 19803 www.wilmingtonfriends.org

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ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED

Upcoming Events May 5 WFS Green Fair and Home & School Used Book Sale May 11 (see page 2) Grandparents and Special Friends Day at Lower School June 2 (see page 4) Alumni Lacrosse Game & Picnic June 11 Commencement June 13 (see page 4) Constitution Center/ Springsteen Exhibit Event October 18-20 (see page 5) Homecoming 2012

Spring 2012 • Friends magazine

Lower school art, paper weaving