DAVID PERRY

Irregular Thoughts

Why are so many rosé drinkers scared to venture beyond the pale?

As the climate gets increasingly unpredictable so too does the timing for rosé. We have been known to sell pink wine at Christmas but the real season is summer. Nowadays it starts well before the lawnmower comes out of the shed and goes on into October.

Last year we went directly from stacks of pale Provence to Christmas claret without the normal no-man’s land. This has meant that we have a fair stock tucked away in the back. So now the challenge is to persuade people that rosé ages well and should really be drunk two, even three, years old and not straight away. I remember talking to a producer who told me he always drank his rosé at three years old. But that was from Sancerre, not Provence.

In years gone by there has been an opportunity to clear suppliers’ previous vintages at a good price when the new season’s stock is sitting on the dock looking for warehouse space. Not so much anymore. The chances are that the new, fresh stock is still waiting to be collected, stuck somewhere in Belgium or looking for the correct paperwork. The supplier is relying on last year’s excess to have anything to offer.

We are in the same boat. I bought quite a lot of our poshest Provence towards the end of the season on the understanding that no more would be shipped until the height of summer 2023. It’s mainly from 2021 but I’m pretty sure there is a fair drop lurking about from 2020 too. I can maybe get away by blaming that on the poor harvest in 2021. We will have to clear the older vintages before we get stuck into 2022 anyway, when and if that finally arrives. Will customers mind? Probably not.

What they are concerned about is that it is painfully pale. We are lucky to have a shelving unit across the front of the shop where daylight (but not sunshine) shows through. It is great for showing off the various hues from “onion skin” to barely there. I have noticed that if a bottle stands on its own it will be picked up before the same one standing in a queue next to it. This is because it looks so much paler. It has become a faux pas to present a wine at a garden party which has anything more than the slightest hint of colour in its cheeks.

It’s a shame really because no one is interested anymore in Tavel. What used to be the pinnacle of smart pink is now a pariah purely because of the colour of its skin. I should say that almost no one is interested in Tavel. There is a gent around the corner who likes to present himself as an old curmudgeon but is really quite charming. He likes his rosé dark and doesn’t care who knows it. He describes himself as “nearly-stocracy” (his brother got the title). With that comes sophistication and confidence but without the bank balance. Tavel is sadly now outside of his budget so he settles for the darkest Rioja rosé.

Our rosé range grows with the length of the day. Towards the equinox we have quite a few. A pretty, slightly petillant, German Pinot Noir; Lebanese Cinsault from Massaya (courtesy of Thorman Hunt); a few Provençals, covering price points from reasonable to outrageous, and a few from not-quite-Provence.

We also sell a lot of bulbous, weapon-like magnums even though they will almost certainly not fit in the fridge. All of them as pale as they can get away with – just a passing acquaintance with a grape skin and away again. Plus the darker one for Mr-not-quite-Sir and an apparently-tooyoung Sancerre.

What we don’t stock is Zinfandel Blush or big-brand Provence rosé. The millionbottle brands pretend to still come from the vineyard that could not hope to make that much and are a silly price for a massproduced wine. A posh lady once asked for one by insulting me.

“I don’t expect you are a smart enough shop to stock Whispering Angel, are you?”

Forfeiting any hope of a sale, I replied: “No, because you can get it bloody everywhere!”

“I know”, she said. “We have it at our yacht club in the Cayman Islands.”

Blush was an American marketing idea invented when some bright spark thought they could get rid of unwanted Zinfandel by making a blanc de noir, only to be confounded by the red-veined pulp. It turned out a washed-out pinky colour despite having no skin contact. It wasn’t a rosé but neither did it have a blanc look.

They called it blush, pumped it full of sugar and are still knocking it out today even though the swimming pools of unwanted and unloved Zinfandel have longsince been returned to their previous use.

We don’t sell it because it is dreadful

LWF

Robert Kukla Spedition UK kukla.uk@kukla-spedition.com kbl.kukla-spedition.com

NOT YOU AGAIN!

customers we could do without

I’ll explain exactly what happened … we placed an order on the Tuesday for your Springtime for Tipplers mixed case and duly paid our £180 … then we remembered we’d be in Fuerteventura the following week so we called you at 10 o’clock on the evening of the Thursday to cancel … when we just got your answerphone we thought the safest thing to do was to contact the bank and void the payment … yes … well, we did say we were worried that our money had been taken under false pretences as we’d never dealt with you before … and yes they did refund us in full … well I’m sorry, but perhaps it’s worth investing in full-time staff to deal with these queries … anyway, water under the bridge, you’ll be delighted to know that we’re now back in the country and would like to order the same case again … the dimwit courier delivered it to next door so we gave them a bottle for their troubles … incidentally, one of the Sancerres was definitely faulty, would you kindly apply a discount?

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

01323

Anagram Time

Can you unscramble these Portuguese grape varieties? If so, you win two tickets for Jancis Sings Songs from the Shows.

1. Faeries Porn

2. A Richer Fool

3. Croatian Brat

4. Nicaragua Lotion

5. Herd Love

For many small businesses right now, the cost of energy may be the difference between keeping the lights on (literally) or throwing in the towel.

Times are especially tough now that the government has ended the Energy Bill Relief Scheme. Firms trapped in fixed energy contracts may see bills increase three- or four-fold as prices revert back to the high rates they signed up to last year. And at the same time as we’re watching the price of our bills go up and up, we’re also watching the profits of the energy companies (and the CEO’s bonuses) go through the roof.

Our business found itself in a situation recently where we came up against the might of the energy companies. It was such a protracted and painful affair that I wanted to find out more about what action business owners should take if an energy bill threatens to throw a spanner in the works. Talking to other retailers, it turns out there are many of us who’ve found ourselves in similar situations.

The government’s official advice is to reduce energy costs, by turning off lights and unnecessary appliances, adjusting heating levels and