DEAR 18-YEAR-OLD ELISE

Dear 18-Year-Old Written by Elise Andersen, Deputy Editor E lise,

Let me start this off by saying: your life four years from now will be almost entirely different from what it is now.

You think you know it all right now — what you want to major in, what your life will look like post-grad, who you are as a person. Let me tell you: you know nothing.

Your four years in college will be quite the roller coaster. You’re going to deal with more heartbreak, confusion, anxiety, pure happiness and raw emotion than you ever thought possible.

Remember when you said you were going to stay single all of college because you wanted to experience life on your own? Funny thing is, you’re going to spend more time in a relationship than not in one during these next few years. And while none of these partners turn out to be your future husband, it’s not all a loss. You will learn so, so much about yourself and what you want and need in a future companion. You will learn what it means to be in a toxic relationship, and how it feels to be in a healthy one. You will experience all of the red flags (and then some), and know exactly what to run from before it even happens. You will learn to stick up for yourself and to demand the level of reciprocated effort necessary for a functional relationship. Maybe you would have enjoyed your college experience more if you would have stayed single throughout it all, but you now know what you want and deserve. And you will not settle for any less. takes a long time — three semesters, in fact — and a few failed finals, many tears shed in College Library, and countless phone calls with your parents to finally decide that pre-health is not the right fit for you. You knew it all along — fashion and business is what you’re passionate about. And don’t let anyone ever make you feel ashamed about that. Listen to that voice in your head and that feeling in your stomach that keeps telling you you’re meant for so much more. Stop doubting yourself. You were never meant to be average, or shrink yourself to make others happy. You are smart and capable of anything you set your mind to. PS: don’t be scared to take econ — you’re going to end up loving it.

You’ve spent your entire life acting like you have it all together, which will benefit you in some ways. Faking it til you make it will prove to work in your favor more times than one. But eventually, that facade of self-assuredness and obsessive independence will no longer be able to cover up how you truly feel. I wish you’d do it sooner, but after a long internal battle you ask for help. And it is the best decision you could ever make for yourself. Stop thinking that asking for help — no matter the circumstance — makes you appear weak. It takes a strong person to pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t.. It takes an even stronger person to acknowledge that everything is not okay, and to ask for help.

Don’t worry, the next four years aren’t all tears and sadness — in fact, there’s a whole lot of happiness woven into it all. I know you’re considering studying abroad right now, but can’t even imagine being away from home for an entire semester. Spoiler alert: you do it and you love it. I cannot wait for you to experience living in Italy for four months.

It’s one of the most magical, eye-opening experiences you will have throughout all of college and your entire life. You might roll your eyes now at the people who say “studying abroad, like, changed me,” but you’re about to become one of those people. Use this as a lesson going forward to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way and say “yes” to everything (within reason, of course). You could add something about getting out of your comfort zone idk

You’re probably reading this on your first night in your newly-decorated dorm room, just itching to get out there, make friends and have the college experience you couldn’t wait for. If there’s one thing I want you to take away from all of this, it’s to be patient. You’re going to have a tough time at first making friends and feeling like you truly belong at this massive university. Even now, one final away from graduating, I still don’t know if I belong here. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t loved, or valued, or appreciated. Along the way, you’re going to meet incredible people who are going to become lifelong friends. You’re going to meet some awful people, too. You’re going to have innumerable nights out until 3 AM, topped off with a stop for your fa

vorite post-bar snack: a bag of Ian’s puppy chow. It’s going to be difficult at times, and you’re going to feel hopeless on more occasions than you can count, but you’re going to make it through with some incredible stories to tell of both absurdity and perseverance.

Go out more (PS: The KK line? Never worth it). Make conversations with people you don’t know. Go to your professor’s office hours. Stop wishing these four years away, constantly telling yourself that your life will finally begin when you graduate. Because, quite honestly, your life has already begun and it’s time to start living it fully. And if you’re wondering how this chapter ends, I’m not going to give away the ending, but you’re going to be proud of the person you’ve become.

Xoxo,