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WHy I can’t sing about
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Living Debt Free ISSN 2150-3745 US $4.00
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October – December 2009 Vol. 1 // Issue 1
steps in recovering from
Financial Hardships
I AM featured story Steps in recovering from
financial hardships
Facing job loss, illness, divorce, or family expansion can cause financial hardships in any household. You face one challenge and in the blink of an eye bills have become late or severely overdue. You may be asking yourself, “How can I recover?” Well, here are some steps to recover from financial hardship.
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Inside issue 1 page 15
What It Looks Like To Be A GODly Family
As we traveled to Canada on a mini-vacation, our family discussed the assignment given by W.I.S.E Magazine. Our assignment is to discuss with you “What It Looks Like to Be a GODly Family”. Now let’s put a disclaimer out there before you even begin to read this, we are not a PERFECT family but we are a family striving to be PERFECT in GOD.
page 24 FRONT COVER
Model: Frednesha Sanders / Make Up: Ashunta, / Hair: Terrence Davidson / Photographer: Ab Sesay / Gown: Temperly of London
Transforming Secular Youth Into Goldy Adults
I’ve spent most of my adult years teaching and mentoring youth and young adults. In that time, one of my most disquieting concerns has been the declining moral values, attitudes, and spiritual growth of our youth in today’s society. An evident image is the way a lot of young people choose to dress.
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Living A Debt Free Lifestyle
How many people can say they know of someone that lives a debt free lifestyle? Does this type of lifestyle appear nonexistence? Well, WISE is excited to introduce you to a wonderfully blessed married couple in the prime of their life living debt free.
WISE Magazine is published quarterly: Jan/March, April/June, July/Sept and Oct/Dec by Wisdom Enterprise, LLC. U.S. subscription is $12.97 for 4 issues. International Subscriptions: $25 for 4 issues. Send address changes to WISE Magazine P.O. Box 681614 Charlotte, NC 28216. All rights and prints are reserved for Wisdom Enterprise, LLC. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. A request must be submitted to reproduce material contained in WISE. We use reasonable efforts to ensure all information is accurate and correct at all times. Wisdom Enterprise does not endorse, assume any responsibility or liability for the accuracy of information or advertising. Either WISE or Wisdom Enterprise, neither LLC nor any other party is involved in creating, producing, or delivering this product. WISE or Wisdom Enterprise, LLC is not liable for any direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages, arising out of access or use of the publication and website.
Editorial & Staff Rhonda Mouton President & Chief Executive Officer
Judge Erania Ebron-Martin Legal consultant
Leah Taylor Marketing director
Alenya Mouton Editorial director
Design & Production Mark Langston art direction / graphic design
Jhamerria Images photography
aja grant Web designer
Contributing Editors Dr. Harry Cartwright, Sr. Robert Coleman Jeffrey McLeod Lana Meyon Fredricks Sanders, Sr. Monica Sanders Allison Wigfall Maurice Wilson Lana Meyon
Interviews Paul Morton, Jr. Mrs. Vanessa Pride
wise Walking In Spiritual Excellence
“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength”. Philippians 4:12-13 NIV
Are you living the lifestyle God has created for you to live? We encounter people everyday; some appear to be in good spirit while others look like their world is coming to an end. It is important we seek God for the lifestyle in which we are destined to live. We can live debt-free, healthy, content, and joyful. These are some of the characteristics God intended for each and every one of us to live. Our challenges help us to determine what lifestyles we do not want to live; however, they give us a greater sense of the lifestyles we do want to live. If you get frustrated enough in life, your desire to do better will increase. People are always in the habit of looking at lifestyles of others; however, they do not know what it takes to sustain their lifestyles. If their lifestyles were heavily investigated, it would be transparent that being blessed or living a certain lifestyle of prosperity isn’t easy. The more God blesses you, the more is required of you. This issue of WISE will give you a peek of people who are happily living their Godly lifestyles of being single, married, and debt-free. These stories are shared to encourage and give you insight to some things that maybe incorporated in your own life.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Mrs. Vanessa Pride on her debt-free lifestyle. Living a debt-free lifestyle is what God wants, and we can have it if we seek help. Many times we do not want people to know we need help with our finances. Stop trying to do things by yourself ! Get the help you need to live a better life, fulfilled in all areas, finances, relationships, and health.
oct / dec 2009 volume 1 - issue 1 Featured Articles 06. . . . . . .The Recession Is Not Over Until You Say It’s Over 08. . . . . . .Living the Lifestyle of a Godly Single Man 20. . . . . . .Why Can’t I Sing About Love 23. . . . . . .Me, Submit In Marriage?
Nutritution 27. . . . . .Breakfast Frittata
fashion 16. . . . . .Shop in Your Closet
in every issue From the President
Women In Spiritual Excellence WISE Generation
Are you wise? subscribe!
If you’re single it’s not easy to abstain from worldly pleasures when temptations are all around in the media, jobs, social networks, etc. But Elder Jeffrey McLeod lives a lifestyle of a Godly single man. God dwells within and guides him as he walks the path of the single life. Just like God is with him, He is with parents, grandparents, and guardians who endure all of the trials and tribulations of raising children. Dr. Harry Cartwright, Sr. gives tips on transforming youth into Godly adults. We cannot train our youth without seeking God, then applying those principals to our own lives as our youth shadow and learn from our example and guidance. Don’t let the stress of society, peer-pressure, media, family, friends, or others deter you from living the lifestyle you desire. Don’t let pride get in the way of asking for help to better your situation. You are not in this World alone. Learn and then LIVE the Lifestyle God has created for you.
Rhonda
(
Wealth
3
The Recession is NOT over
UNTIL YOU SAY IT’S OVER!
Read to Succeed:
Expand Your Brand
Reading allows you to expand your horizon and world view beyond your immediate surroundings. You’re able to increase knowledge, develop a wide perspective on a range of issues, and expand vocabulary in the process. Reading adds more value to your brand by developing an extensive knowledge in your area. It has never been more affordable to read business and personal finance magazines. Publishers are practically giving these periodicals away to ensure advertisers stay on board.
Some publications to start reading are Black Enterprise, online readings of www.bloomberg.com, www.investor.com, and www.usatoday.com. Periodically reading a self help book such as Shut Up Stop Whining and Get a Life by Larry Winget can also enhance your brand.
By Maurice Wilson | Financial Advisor Recessions begin and end on a personal level. They start when you get laid off and end when you land your next job. Therefore surviving and ultimately recovering from a recession begin and end with how you make your money. Here are 5 steps to help you get started:
1
Market Yourself:
Establish Your Personal Brand
Whether you are recently laid off, looking for work, or starting a business, establishing your personal brand is a MUST in this economy. A personal brand is the evolution of the resume. Your brand should be the culmination of your strengths and attributes. It’s your “so what?” factor.
To create your brand, start with four questions. 1) What product or service am I able to produce or provide due to my talents, skills, and experience? 2) Who would want to buy my products or benefit from my services? 3) Why would they buy my products? 4) Why would they continue to buy them? These questions sound easy, but they are the backbone of every solid business with a viable brand in the market place.
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Cyberspace Networking:
Leverage Your Brand
The proliferation of social networking sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter have made meaningless contact plentiful and true networking scarce. Simply put, being on someone’s “friends” list is not networking. To use these sites and tools effectively you must leverage your brand. That means making your online presence an extension of your offline brand. This isn’t as simple as making sure your resume and Facebook page matchup. Your internet presence should convert your brand into tangible action. For example: If I meet you at a Chamber of Commerce event and decide to visit your Facebook or LinkedIn account, I should see samples of your past work, current projects, and fee schedules for your services. This lets me know you are actively engaged in your chosen field and more importantly have something of value to offer and be paid for in return.
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Speak Up:
Make Your Brand Tangible
Next to writing a book, public speaking is the fastest way to establish the perception of credibility in a profession or industry. When properly done, speaking accentuates knowledge, experience, and passion for what you do. It’s a great way to put your brand in front of potential employers and customers. For speaking tips look up books for example from author and national expert Jeffrey Gitomer www.gitomer.com. Also, joining your local Toastmasters club is a great place to practice before you go public. Speaking about the intricacies of commercial web design or challenges of change management will show potential customers you have the experience required to complete difficult projects. Volunteering to speak or present at industry conventions will show your employer you are striving to become a leader in your field, making you indispensable during the next round of layoffs.
Blog:
Document Your Brand
In the old days you had to write a book or newspaper column to have your printed words viewed by potential customers and employers. With the emergence of web logging, also known as blogging, you can now beam your written expertise into millions of e-mail inboxes. A blog can be a commentary on your profession, industry, or recent project. For example, you’re a home improvement specialist and have just completed a cabinet installment project for a client. You develop a blog discussing the various obstacles and how you overcame them, possibly motivating a potential client to contact you for business.
Blogging also allows potential customers to communicate with you, further establishing your brand as both reputable and knowledgeable.
The same applies to potential employers who come across your blog while performing pertinent background research. Creating well-written instructions and providing consumers with access to helpful information about your profession or industry gives you a distinct edge in the eyes of your future employer. To get started on a blog try visiting either of these websites: www.wordpress.com or www.blogger.com. Visit www.creativeblogsolutions.com for expertise and advice to leverage your blog and grow your business. w
If your social networking activities consist of commenting on statuses, tweeting about celebrity gossip or looking at pictures, you should resolve to step your game up by hiring a branding specialist with a niche for social networking.
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Life
The Word of God
Guard Your Gates
Psalm 119:9 reminds us a man cleanses his ways by taking heed to the Word of God. Psalm 119:105 tells us the Word (Bible) is a “lamp unto [our] feet and a light unto [our] path.” In the word of God, you discover that every word that comes from your mouth should minister grace to the person whom hears it (Colossians 4:6); God will give you the desires of your heart if you delight yourself in Him (Psalms 37:4); and that there is no temptation you will face in life that you will not be able to bear with God’s help (I Corinthians 10:13). The Word of God is the ultimate truth to which every decision you make should be measured.
Each of our senses (hearing, touching, smelling, seeing, and tasting) are a way for distractions to enter our lives. When it comes to hearing, I want to point out it is especially important to watch the music you listen to. While Gospel music is not the only good music available, the motive behind every type of music we listen to must be evaluated. Therefore, a married couple may be able to listen to love songs often. However, it may not be wise for a single person to listen to certain music because the actions it may provoke could be off limits.
Prayer
LiofvinagGodly the Single Life Man By Elder Jeffrey McLeod When you hear the word “single,” what’s the first thought that comes to your mind? Is it loneliness, being half-complete, or lacking? If it was, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, there is a stigma that associates being single with being at a disadvantage or being underprivileged. In the eyes of God, singleness is viewed as the time when we are most free to serve Him. 1 Corinthians 7:32 says, “…He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” This article is not meant to be just another ordinary piece of literature on being single, but a first-hand account of how a man can live a Godly single life with biblically supported concepts. I should start by saying everything in this article is easier said than done. When I refer to prayer, I am aware it is difficult to maintain a prayer schedule with the demands of a full-time job. When I refer to fasting, I am cognizant turning down your favorite lunch spot or refusing a plate full of your favorite food is difficult. So, as you’re reading and you say, “that won’t ever work for me” or “this guy thinks he’s perfect”, just know I have made a conscious effort to adhere to the advice I’m giving, and when applied, it works for those believing in God!
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Prayer is simply communication with God and it is not an option. When we pray, we are able to communicate to God the very things that concern us. And please hear this...nothing you say in prayer will surprise God. Matthew 10:30 says the very hairs on our head are numbered. If you look at a certain woman and your mind begins to wander, it is okay to confess that to God and ask Him to help you. If you’re struggling with anything, it is okay to give it to God. Always remember prayer is a two-way street, so after you have adored God, confessed, interceded, and made your requests, remember to take time to hear God and allow Him to minister to you. As a single man, it is important to take time to hear God and receive His direction. This will help you understand your purpose and define your vision, which is necessary for a man, who is the head of a relationship.
Fasting
There is a constant struggle going on between flesh and Spirit. When we fast, the Spirit man is strengthened. Galatians 5:16 tells us if we “Walk in the Spirit, [you will] not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” However, walking in the Spirit is not an easy task. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked…” In today’s society, we are hard-pressed to find anything that does not have some type of sexual connotation and unless our Spirit man is built up and renewed day by day, we will not be able to fight off the distractions the enemy sends our way. In Matthew 17, the disciples were attempting to cast the devil out of a young child; however, they were not successful. When they asked Jesus why it didn’t work, he responded, “this kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting.” If in your single life, you are confronted with issues you cannot deal with, perhaps fasting is the answer. Prayer and fasting combined is essential for the single individual because it not only helps you fight off distractions and temptations the enemy sends your way, but it also allows you to hear from God when it comes to evaluating a potential mate.
The eye gate is also important to address. With shows such as “Temptation Island”, “Girls Next Door”, and “The Real World,” we are constantly presented with distractions. Therefore, if you know a certain show causes you to feel a certain way or leads you down a certain road, avoid it. The same rule goes for magazines, websites, etc.
Guard Your Reputation
Proverbs 20:11 says “even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure and whether it be right.” While being single is a time of few commitments, it is important to remember for many people perception is reality! How disheartening would it be for you to meet the woman of your dreams and have them not be interested in you because of your reputation? Our single years are not the time to do everything we are big and bad enough to do. When somebody worthwhile comes along, your background could be questioned. As Christians we should count up the cost of something before getting involved.
I should add the aforementioned statement does not imply that a person will never make a mistake. Romans 3:23 says “…all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 says “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, I will forgive their sin, and heal their land.” Notice before mentioning prayer, seeking God’s face, and turning from wrong ways, you must humble yourself. Single life is the best time to take an honest assessment of yourself and be truthful about the areas you need to turn over to God. It behooves us singles to decide the buck stops with us when it comes to generational curses of alcoholism, perversion, lust etc. Do your future spouse and children a favor by dealing with issues now!
Maintain Purity
As mentioned earlier, sexual temptation is constantly placed in front of us. While Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:9 it is “better to marry than to burn,” I always add it is better to take a cold shower or call your grandma than marry the wrong person! Even with the Holy Spirit oozing from your pores, the flesh and Spirit are constantly battling. Romans 7:18 says no good thing dwells in our flesh. Therefore, we can never think we are so spiritual or have arrived to the point where sexual temptation will no longer be presented to us. Abstinence is not just a concept that applies to females. Men must maintain sexual purity as well; especially as the leader of a relationship. C o n t i n u e
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Next
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Watch Who You Hang With
Prepare for the Next Stage
You have probably heard the old phrase “show me the company you keep, and I’ll tell you who you are.” This is so true, and is especially important to consider when maintaining a Godly single life. Spirits have the ability to move and transfer. In the Old Testament, in 1 Samuel 16:23, the Bible says “…the distressing spirit would depart from him,” meaning spirits are mobile. In Matthew 8, demons were cast into a herd of pigs, meaning they can move from one being to another. 1 Corinthians 15:46 says, first natural, then spiritual. If you really think about it, we all can attest to being in at least one situation where you spent a considerable amount of time around a person or group of people and then found yourself replicating their actions without effort. This is because their spirit affected you.
Jesse Jackson says “keep hope alive,” others say “keep your eyes on the prize,” and Paul said “press towards the mark…” What am I trying to say? No matter how long you’ve believed God or how few the prospects look, know “He who has begun a good work in you is able to perform it!” You must look forward to and prepare for what your role will be as a married man.
Fill Your Time with Productive Things
In Luke 19:13, we are instructed to “Occupy till I come.” Many of us were told growing up “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” As singles, it is important to keep ourselves engaged in positive activities so we do not leave room for the enemy to distract us. John 10:10 says the enemy comes to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” 2 Corinthians 2:11 tells us we should not be ignorant considering Satan’s devices. We are not ignorant of Satan’s devices or unaware of his purpose, so we are to fill our time with fruitful activities that bring us closer to accomplishing our God-given purpose. If you know certain activities encourage you to do wrong or incite unhealthy feelings, avoid them.
Dr. Voddie Bauchaum states in his book, What He Must Be If He Wants to Marry My Daughter, a man’s role in a relationship is to be the priest, prophet, provider, and protector. As the priest and prophet of a relationship in your house, it is your job to have the necessary spiritual foundation and insight to guide the relationship. For a woman to marry a man who has no foundation or idea where he’s going in life would be like boarding an airplane, taking off, and circling for hours with no destination. Eventually, all of the wandering will cause the gas to run out, commonly referred to as separation or divorce. As the provider and protector, it’s imperative you meet the physical and emotional needs of your wife. I admonish you to make the best of this opportunity you have to live a Godly single life. I pray as you live single life to the fullest, God will equip you for every work He has called you to do and give you the direction you need. May God’s choicest blessings and favor be upon you as you live for Him. w
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Money
evaluate
1 2
• Review Debt Fully- Take a look at every bill you have accumulated. This will provide a full view of your expenses. • Don’t Break Contracts That Cost You Money- (i.e. cell phones, cable, etc.) Ride them out until the end of contract. • Negotiate With Companies- This can help you save or contribute to paying other bills. Most companies will work with you and help restructure your payments to make them more manageable. • Combine Trips To Save- Go to bank and store in the same day. Handle business in the same area to conserve gas. • Carpool When Available- Catch a ride with a friend or co-worker to help save money that you pay for maintenance and fuel on your car.
Steps in Recovering From
Financial Hardships
By Fredricks L. Sanders, Sr., BSA Facing job loss, illness, divorce, or family expansion can cause financial hardships in any household. You face one challenge and in the blink of an eye bills have become late or severely overdue. You may be asking yourself, “How can I recover?” Well, here are some steps to recover from financial hardship.
evaluate STEP ONE:
STEP TWO:
cut back
consider STEP THREE:
cut back
• Cut Back On Dining Out - Try to prepare food at home. Dining out can become expense and take up monies that can be more useful towards something else. • Cut Back On Personal Grooming- (i.e. manicures, pedicures, hair) Make them a treat and not a necessity. Learn how to do some self grooming. • Cut Back On Your Insurances- Take a higher deductible, which allows you to pay less up front.
consider
3
• Coupons Are Great! - Use coupons when you can, especially when stores have double and triple coupon day. • Buy Store Brand vs. Name Brand- Most products have the same ingredients. Check the label, if you are not sure. • Avoid New Purchases - Try not to buy anything new until you have saved up for it. • Avoid Using Credit Cards - If you cannot pay the bill in full when it arrives, avoid using your credit cards. Finance charges could wipe you out. Wait on the purchase and remember some stores have brought back lay-away. Don’t knock it until you try it. • Focus On Your Needs and Not Your Wants - Ask yourself do you really need it? Review your purchases before you check out and make sure you absolutely need the item(s). • While taking advantage of the aforementioned tips, always take a moment to pray that GOD strategically guides your finances and you become a great steward over what He has given you. Pray over your checking account before you begin to pay bills that GOD may stretch and multiply so all of your needs will be met. And most importantly, pay your tithes and offerings so your finances will be aligned according to GOD’s order.
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Money
Importance of Setting Mission/Goals We also spent time setting up a respectful and consistent lifestyle of prayer to seek GOD for what HE would have for us. We, as the parents of 3 children and now our crown, 3 beautiful grandchildren (Proverbs 17:6a), have spent time as living examples of what a family of GOD should look and act like. We have a mission statement for our family that is very vital in our everyday lives. Our mission statement aids us in our walk as a reminder of what GOD has assigned for us individually and collectively. Our mission statement is “God’s opinion is the only opinion that counts; therefore we will continue to line ourselves up according to HIS HOLY Word.” Our mission statement is important to our family because it is one of our guidelines to assist us in meeting our goals and pursuing those things GOD has ordained and not getting distracted in the process. We are somewhat old fashion, but we truly believe what GOD ordered in HIS word, Colossians 3:18-21 “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master. Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them. Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end. Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.” (The Message: The Bible In Contemporary Language) Along with our mission statement, we have adopted seven key principles to keep us focused as a family striving to live a life pleasing in GOD’s sight. Why seven? Biblically, seven represents the number of completion.
Sanders Seven Keys 1. Prayer - Prayer is a vital part of our family. It has been our key to access GOD’s divine order. 2. Love - Our family has unconditional love, believe or not. We agree to love no matter what!
3. Respect - We hear each other out and sometimes agree to disagree as we move forward with the plan GOD has ordained.
What It Looks Like to Be
a GODly Family By Mr. and Mrs. Fredricks Sanders, Sr.
Assignment As we traveled to Canada on a mini-vacation, our family discussed the assignment given by W.I.S.E Magazine. Our assignment is to discuss with you “What It Looks Like to Be a GODly Family”. Now let’s put a disclaimer out there before you even begin to read this, we are not a PERFECT family but we are a family striving to be PERFECT in GOD.
Seeking God for Wisdom
In our marriage of 17 years and 2 months, we have spent our time seeking GOD for wisdom for our family and household. Proverbs 24:3, “Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established: By knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches.” We both come from single-parent households and one of the goals we set for our family was not to give up on each other and end up in divorce. Though we greatly appreciate the struggles our mothers endured, we wanted a different lifestyle for our children or our adult lives.
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4. Consistency - We have some traditions no matter what our schedules dictate. Traditions we all look forward to like, Thanksgiving, Christmas Decorating, and especially Birthday Celebrations where we sing our own version of Happy Birthday. 5. Stability - We are committed to providing a safe, caring environment in our home that promotes consistency and strength. 6. Laughter - We have activities that promote amusement, we tend to laugh at each other and not be too serious.
7. Compromise - This is a BIG one in marriage and family. We must stick to GOD’s agenda for our life and take care of what is important regardless of personal agendas. GOD’s agenda outweighs every decision. In marriage, we realize when one spouse dreams are being pursued; the other spouse must be encouraging, supportive, and holding down the family to continue the journey. Cooperation and negotiation are necessities in this area.
Benefits of Being a GODly Family
There are great benefits to strategically lining your family up according to GOD’s word in obedience. Psalm 119:1-3 “Blessed are the undefiled in the way, Who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart!” For us the benefits of a GODly family are: • Security in knowing our steps are ordered by GOD • Raising children who love GOD • Impacting the Community
• Setting a Godly example for others • Allowing GOD to use us for HIS glory
As a GODly family, you must always put GOD first and consult HIM in every area of your life, marriage, parenting, finances (a must), relationships, health, work, and purpose. As a GODly family, we cannot afford to just place GOD anywhere but first in our lives; we must not only include GOD when we are in trouble or in need. This works for our family, however our advice would be for you to seek GOD for what would work for your family. We are all vital in the Kingdom of GOD, what does your family look like? Is GOD pleased? w
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jc9084DiverseFullPageColor:www.SETedu.com
9/15/08
3:01 PM
Page 1
Fashion
Shop in Your closet
In addition to its academic success, JCSU also offers the following benefits: • Ranked in the Top Ten Black Colleges by U.S. News & World Report • Recognized nationally twice for distinguished community service
By Lana Meyon
• One of our nation’s best liberal arts colleges • Small classroom sizes in a nurturing environment • Campus located one mile from the center of downtown Charlotte, North Carolina • Every student provided with a laptop • State-of-the-art computer technology • Active student life
Surround Yourself with
Academic In these times, we have all become money conscience and
versatility and edge. Adding summer pieces to your winter ward-
people have downsized their homes, cars, extracurricular activi-
ing! Just throw on a blazer with your favorite summer dress! Or
focused on getting the most out of our dollars. To do this some ties, even shopping! Not the Shopping? Yes shopping! Whether
clipping coupons at the grocery store or looking for bargains in the mall, we just cannot splurge like we used to. Now the winter months and holidays are fastly approaching and staying fashion
forward & stylish is hardly a priority. The good news is you can
do both! Save money and look amazing all at the same time without buying one item. All you have to do is blend seasons? Now
you ask, “Why would I blend the winter and summer wear?” My answer would be, “Why not!” Mixing it up in your wardrobe adds
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robe brings color to your winter clothes and you will look amazadd a sweater and a belt with a hot pair of boots and you will
look fabulous! Take your favorite graphic tee and add a fashion forward jacket or sweater; accessorize with a scarf and you will
look edgy and fly! Remember to be creative; take chances and go
shopping in your own closet! You will be surprised how you can transform and be the trendsetter this fall/winter season!
Success at
JCSU
Founded in 1867,
J
ohnson C. Smith University flourishes as one of our nation’s oldest, academically and technologically advanced liberal arts colleges. When you choose JCSU, you are automatically identified with a strong institution that is the epitome of academic success. And with your laptop you will have complete access to our campus-wide network and internet services through wireless connectivity.
See our beautiful campus! w
Visit us on the web at
jcsu.edu
www.
or call toll-free at 1-800-782-7303 for more information.
Fashion
Turn your summer wear into winter wear. Accessorize a cute summer dress with a jacket, nice boots and hot accessories. A perfect fashion blends for summer or winter seasons. By Lana Meyon Fashions provided by www.polyvore.com
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Wooden Flower Watch luckybrandjeans.com Miu Miu | Glitter peep-toe pumps net-a-porter.com
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Interview
WISE magazine had the opportunity to speak with the Grammy award winning writer and
producer about his new book: “Why Can’t
I Sing About Love: The Church Against Secular Music”. Although our conversation began solely around the book, it quickly expanded to
capture the essence of the artist’s motivation for creating music his way, intersection of his faith, art form, living a
balanced life, how the journey through creating this book expanded his mind and deepened his relationship with
Leah: You titled the book “Why Can’t I Sing About Love: The Truth About the Church Against Secular Music.” What is the truth about the church and secular music? PJ Morton: Well truth is I think it’s been a lot of personal views and traditions that people have based their opinions about secular music on as opposed to the actual Word of God. We can read in the bible where Solomon asked God for wisdom and [in turn] God gave him 1,005 songs………. we don’t know all those songs, but we know there’s a book of the bible called Songs of Solomon and it’s a book of love songs. If we consider the Bible as “the infallible word of God” and there’s a BOOK in the infallible word of God of all love songs, it’s impossible for me to believe that non-sacred music is not supposed to be in our everyday lives. It’s right there in the Word. If you look for “the will” of your lives, his word is his will and his will is his word. So when I looked there [in the Bible], I found myself in Solomon. Leah: Are there any specific experiences that became direct inspirations for you penning this book? PJ Morton: I guess being a “Pastor’s Kid” (PK) while doing R&B music there are lot of direct things that happened to me: whether it was people telling me the music I was doing wasn’t of God, or people saying “I can’t wait until you come into the kingdom,” little things like that. Because of my relationship with God and how much I love God, it kind of offended me that people felt like I wasn’t fully in the kingdom because I wasn’t doing what was [traditionally] considered God’s music.
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God.
Leah: In your description of the book you point to scriptures; do you think that would attract people to want to find out more about the book and why you stuck to your calling despite what people’s opinions may have been. PJ Morton: I have to say there’s been so much support- way more support than negativity on this book………but I think example is the greatest teacher. When I’m out here working in the secular world, a lot of artists, producers, and writers are usually from church, and they’ve heard it all. They look for examples of consistency through the years. I’ve been the same person for a long time now, so I think all of that was meant to get to this point for people to say “Ok, I can respect it. He’s been doing this for a long time now. I thought it was a phase at first, that he was trying to rebel, but he’s really serious about this and now he’s using the word to back him up so I definitely need to look into it,” and I think that’s what attracted a lot of people. I’m not just somebody who has this idea and hasn’t’ been through it. I’m the “PK” of a pastor - a well known pastor and I’ve been doing R&B music and touring for years. The fact I’ve written gospel songs and won “Gospel Song of the Year”, it kind of makes the people on the church side say “well, he won gospel song of the year although he’s an R&B artist, so let me pay attention.” I think it gave a little validity and affirmation for me and I thank God for those years of doing the things I did to bring me to this point. It’s been too long for me to still be “just rebelling.” “It’s something I really believe in and have a passion for.”
Leah: You mentioned your father, Bishop Paul Morton Sr. who wrote the foreword of this book and speaks to the notion people get caught up in religion missing relationship. How does this concept come to life through your music? PJ Morton: I think the fact people have ignored love songs has caused some friction in natural life. When you talk about divorce rates- which are very high, over 50% and even higher within the body of Christ, my music speaks to that. The reason the divorce rate is high and we’ve had so many problems with family and relationships is because we don’t focus enough time on that. We got church down pat. We got that good. But there’s got to be something that speaks to natural relationships and relationships here on this earth. We can’t be so Godly that we’re no earthly good. If anything, from reading about Jesus and the way He dealt with people with compassion, as well watching my father- I’ve learned balance. I know I’m not listening to – like my dad would say - I will Trust in the Lord all day, or Amazing Grace all day. I don’t live amazing grace all day. Sometimes I look up at the sky and say to myself, “the sun is out and it’s a beautiful day.” Why can’t I write a song about it being a beautiful day if I can appreciate it, or the trees are green, or [laughing] that my wife is beautiful? Balance is in my music and the way I live my life. It speaks about real life issues you can relate to that you go through everyday. Leah: Do you think the church has played a role in conditioning the minds of people against certain types of music?
PJ Morton: I think the biggest thing has been completely equating God to just gospel. I think that’s been the biggest mistake; like “this is God’s music, and over there is not.” It’s as if God is only powerful enough to inspire songs directly written for Him. It’s become a discomfort and guilt related to music that is outside of it [the church]. Because it hasn’t been talked about, or looked over, it makes it seem like its wrong, and that’s why it’s taken so long to help people come out of that box. We sing, do musicals, and revivals, but we don’t do conferences about love. Marriage is talked about a lot, but people act like you just get married immediately, and there’s no period before that. There’s got to be more talk about relationships- the period even before marriage, what it means to be single, dating, and more balance. I’ve never heard a preacher preach from the Songs of Solomon, so naturally people feel like it must not be a part of this because we don’t talk about it. Leah: Is it safe to say this journey of you writing this book has strengthened your relationship with God? PJ Morton: Absolutely. My record that’s coming out in February is called “Walk Alone.” A lot of times I felt like I was alone in trying to do what I felt, trying to do what was right and what I knew God was telling me. All I could do was turn to God and fall on that relationship, lean on the everlasting arm, talk to God and let him speak to me. I couldn’t let the outside talk and people come in and contaminate what was purely coming from Him. In writing this book, I had to dig deeper into the scripture; it forced me to get deeper into the scripture to make my argument. And in the process of me trying to make my argument, it allowed me to walk through the word of God and find out even more about Him.
As I was writing, I was learning. That’s [part] of the effectiveness of the book. It woke my life up even more! It freed me even more! So I know it will touch people because of what it did for me, someone who was already passionate and in the career of doing R&B music. Walking alone definitely forced me - and thankfully so, to become closer to God. Leah: The book is a bold and fantastic start to tangible ways to breaking down traditional barriers that have come to define the church. How do you think others can contribute to this effort in helping to expand minds beyond man-made traditions and manmade doctrines? PJ Morton: I think the music industry can play a big part in it. I wanted to start a mainstream division at Christian labels - something that hadn’t been done before - because the only music we promote to Christians is Christian music or Gospel music. I went to every major Christian label and said “let me start a [mainstream] division- I don’t do Christian music but I am a Christian and my music is representative of that because it reflects my life and I am a Christian.” So I started a music division called SOS music over at Tehillah Music Group to take music back - even the R&B industry back for the kingdom, promoting music that has integrity and talks about things you can listen to with your whole family. Not just because it’s my book, but I think this should really start to serve as a handbook to at least start the conversation to break down these walls. Leah: When people finish reading the last page of your book, they put it down and begin to reflect, what would you want them to take away? PJ Morton: Personal relationship with God. Like I said, I was a preacher’s kid, I used to feel like “I’m at church almost every day of the week, I don’t want to read the bible because I get it enough.” So before I was actually getting into the word of God, I had to lean on personal relationship because I never stopped believing. I knew God was real in my life, I knew that for a fact, and I leaned on that, so that kept me, even before I was able to get into the Word to read things for myself. So I know the relationship can keep you, whether you know every book in the bible, or every scripture in the bible, the relationship is what counts at the end of the day. I would admonish everybody to focus on building a personal relationship with God. You gotta get into the Word, which only strengthened my relationship. But when I didn’t have that, I just had the conversation and the communication with God like “Yo, why are these people doing this? I know I hear you talking to me and that’s before anything else.” That simple thing - personal relationship- is what I would want people to walk away with. For sure.
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PJ Morton’s book can be purchased on www.amazon.com or www.whycantisingaboutlove.com. Beginning this fall, PJ will be joining Author/Playwright/Minister John Gray on the “Love and Laugh Tour”. Information can be found on www.loveandlaughtour.com. Look for PJ’s next album titled “Walk Alone” in February 2010. Interview conducted by Leah Taylor
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Life
me
Submit In MARRIAGE? By robert coleman Q u a l i ty c o me s f i r s t
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5: 22 (ESV)
For many years, men have used this verse to point out how a wife should behave in a marriage. Unfortunately, this passage is seldom read beyond this verse to grasp a true meaning. If one were to read the verse in its entire context, the scripture truly reveals how a man should behave towards his wife. I challenge my brothers to take a deeper look.
Reading further, the true intent of this passage of scripture is found in versus 23-31: 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. ESV True enough, God has ordained man as the head of the household, but there are certain things a man must do to earn respect and submission from his wife. Submission is not and should not be considered an automatic action or duty. Luke 12:48 (ESV) states, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more. Submission like respect must be given before it is received.” In this equation, a man must first be submitted to God. He must
walk with God as head of his life in order to expect to lead his household. We must remember submission is not a master slave relationship, yet it is more of a loving deference from one partner to another. In order for this to be established, man has earthly obligations to fulfill to his wife before he can expect her Godly submission.
Further in the passage, verse 24 shows a connection between a man’s relationship with his wife and the relationship of Christ with His church. In order to truly understand this concept, one must truly understand the sacrifice Christ made coming to Earth, becoming man to endure the human experience, and conquering sin and death to save all of mankind. In order for the Church (mankind) to have eternal life, Christ displayed the ultimate love by being the perfect sacrifice and giving up his life that we may have eternal life. Therefore, as a man, we must be willing to make meaningful sacrifices for our wives as Christ did for His bride, the church. This literally means we should be willing to love our wives above ourselves and sacrifice whatever is necessary for her (verse 28). As one would not intentionally neglect themselves or subject themselves to substandard living, neither should we treat our wives in that manner. Every man wants the best for himself, and that is what he should desire and provide for his wife (verse 29). In other words fellas, we should not walk around in $1,000 suits and gators while our wives look as if they had to piece together an outfit from left over rags. When you enter a marriage, you become one flesh (verse 31). No one should come above the relationship you have with your wife. You must forsake all others including your mother and father.
God’s word clearly states that wives must submit to their husband’s. However, a man’s role in the process extends far beyond the one verse so many of us cling to. We must first submit to God. Then we must love, cherish, honor, and respect our wives above ourselves. It is not until men submit and follow the example of Christ that we can require or expect our wives to fulfill their role of submission. w
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Life
TRansforming secular youth into goldy adults through increased Knowledge, Character, and Wisdom
Some of these character traits are: • A man is to be blameless. This does not mean a person cannot sin, for we have all sinned and come short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23 NIV). Rather, a man must have a pattern of life in tune with biblical standards of behavior and conduct.
• A man of character must be temperate. This clearly states the importance of showing moderation and self-restraint. A person who is temperate in their Christian walk does not lose his spiritual orientation, or give into destructive extremes, but rather, lives a balanced and steadfast life. Youth can be involved in sports and other activities while maintaining the pose of a Christian.
• He is instructed to be sober-minded. This refers to the quality of being sensible and sharp in one’s thinking and actions, thereby exercising responsibility in making sound judgments and decisions. For example, not accepting peer pressure, but being a leader among peers due to wise choices. • He must be of good behavior and hospitable. A person should be trustworthy, respectable, and honorable in actions both publicly and privately, i.e. home and school, so true character matches reputation. • A man should have the ability to teach. A person should not only have the ability to teach others, but also be teachable if one is to grow and mature in Christ. Youth must learn to be attentive and have a hunger for learning.
By Dr. harry m. cartwright, Sr. Ph.D.
“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better return than gold.” Proverbs 3: 13 & 14 NIV I’ve spent most of my adult years teaching and mentoring youth and young adults. In that time, one of my most disquieting concerns has been the declining moral values, attitudes, and spiritual growth of our youth in today’s society. An evident image is the way a lot of young people choose to dress. Sagging pants with exposed underwear, skin tight clothing, hair scarves and “do-rags” being considered acceptable attire by youth. However, I would be remised if I did not mention many young people that show good character by the way they speak, dress, and exemplify overall maturity. But the focus has to be affixed on our youth and youth adults who are merely existing and not taking advantage of the many gifts life has to offer. Proverbs 22: 6 (NIV) instructs parents to “teach a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Ideally, it is a parent’s main responsibility to teach children the difference between right and wrong while helping develop within them sound Godly character. Yet with the reality of
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nontraditional households and unfortunate circumstances, we all play a vital role in the development of our youth.
Character, knowledge, and wisdom are all important factors in a child’s life. By definition, character is a distinctive trait, a pattern of behavior that shows moral strength, self-discipline, and fortitude. The character of a person is his/her inner makeup. Character must be cultivated. However, many young people don’t realize the daily choices they make are in fact shaping their character. 1Timothy 3: 1-7 (NIV) specifically outlines desirable characteristics of a man and his place in the Body of Christ. When youth are exposed to these concepts in the Bible, they are able to gain knowledge of traits that can eventually develop into strong character.
• He is not to be a slave to alcohol or display violent behavior. A Godly person is not the kind of individual who is controlled by substances or anger. He/she does not abuse his or her own body, which is the temple of God’s Spirit. Marijuana and other drugs would be extinct if more youth realized their potential without them.
In addition to these character traits, Christians are taught we all are made in the image of God; consequently, we should make every effort to develop in our youth a Christ like mind, body, and soul. II Corinthians 3:18 (NIV) reminds us: “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, and being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” Therefore, we give ourselves willingly and the Holy Spirit begins to transform our spirit into a Christ like spirit. It is His work
in us that makes the transformation possible. Philippians 2:5 (NIV) reminds us to, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” In teaching youth how to develop Christ like character and virtues, I would like to share the phenomenon known as The Six Pillars of Character (TRRFCC), which stands for Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. Next C o n t i n u e
r e a d i n g
o n
n e x t
p a g e
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Nutrition
Breakfast Frittata
each pillar can be described as:
Looking for an alternative to “Ham Sandwiches” the day after Thanksgiving? Why not try a simple Breakfast Skillet before heading out to tackle those Black Friday Sales?
• Trustworthiness. Be honest. Don’t deceive, cheat, or steal. Be loyal-stand by your family, friends, and country. • Respect. Treat others with respect; follow the Golden rule. Be tolerant of differences. Use good manners, not bad language, don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone. Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements.
• Responsibility. Do what you are supposed to do. Persevere: keep on trying! Always do your best. Use self-control. Be self-disciplined. Think before you act---consider the consequences. Be accountable for your choices. • Fairness. Play by the rules. Take turns and share. Be open – minded; listen to others. Don’t take advantage of others. Don’t blame others carelessly. • Caring. Be kind. Be compassionate and show you care. Express gratitude. Forgive others. Help people in need. • Citizenship. Do your share to make your school and community better. • Cooperate. Get involved in community affairs. Stay informed; vote. Be a good neighbor. Obey laws and rules. Respect authority. Protect the environment.
Awareness of the above character and virtue traits should encourage every young person want to make an honest effort to change their ways and try to lead a life that will help them fulfill their God given assignments.
Character can evolve; and because children of God are given free will, one can always position his/herself to make better choices. It is never too late to change a mind set or behavior. Making mistakes is a part of human nature, but the key is to learn from them. And reaping the consequences of actions can certainly ignite a change in flaws to create character rejuvenation.
As for knowledge and wisdom; Proverbs 1:7 (NIV) tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” In attempts to develop youth into Godly individuals,
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Ingredients the scripture touches on the moral benefits of wisdom. “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will find that making the right choices is much easier when we seek wisdom”. Wisdom is the master key; therefore get wisdom. In Matthew 6:33 (NIV), Jesus informed his disciples to “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” It is necessary we raise our children to pray and stay close to God, so He will guide their steps. This helps to create building blocks of faith and trust in Him. Christ like characteristics will most certainly carry youth through the hills and valleys of life. It is my hope and desire that the words in this article will pierce the hearts of youth and young adults causing a hunger for change and passion to develop Christ-like character. w
1 ½ cup ham or turkey sliced or cubed 6 eggs ¾ cup milk 1 cup shredded cheese ½ teaspoon salt and pepper opt 1 teaspoon olive oil
By Allison Wigfall
In 10-12 inch ovenproof nonstick skillet, heat olive oil over medium-low heat. In large bowl, whisk eggs, salt and pepper together well. Add egg mixture and ham or turkey to skillet; cook over low heat, lifting a few times around edges with a spatula to let uncooked egg flow underneath. Cook until frittata is almost set in center, about 10 minutes. Add shredded cheese over mixture and meat. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove frittata from heat. Using spatula, gently slide onto a plate. Delicious served with fresh fruit.
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Money
Living a Debt Free Lifestyle How many people can say they know of someone that lives a debt free lifestyle? Does this type of lifestyle appear nonexistent? Well, WISE is excited to introduce you to a wonderfully blessed married couple in the prime of their life living debt free.
WISE had the opportunity to interview Mrs. Vanessa Pride, a Charlotte, North Carolina resident originally from California. “The lifestyle of living a debt free lifestyle is a life of freedom”, says Mrs. Pride. Freedom is the best word to describe debt free. As I entered the lovely home of the Pride Family, I could feel the warmth, love, peace, and serenity. A glow of freedom and the ability to do what you want when you want were displayed all over the faces of the Pride husband and wife dual.
Mrs. Pride learned early about debt. At the age of 19, her first job was in the tax department of Wells Fargo. She remembers getting an apartment and purchasing all of her furniture, accessories, and car on credit. Mrs. Pride learned a lot of important lessons after working for Wells Fargo. When her payments started arriving, she quickly understood this was not a life she wanted to live; most of her pay check went to paying credit cards. It took Mrs. Pride several years to pay off her debt. Thereafter, she lived a disciplined life as it related to credit card debt. After working in the banking industry for over twenty years as a Loan Officer and having to turn people down for loans because of their poor credit; she learned the importance of maintaining good credit. Mrs. Pride met her husband in 2005. Mr. Pride lived a lifestyle of being debt free, too. Naturally, their relationship was a very easy transition, being equally yoked with your partner should be in every area of your life, including financially.
While moving from California to North Carolina, the future Mrs. Pride started to build what would later become the newlywed’s dream home. While starting construction, Mrs. Pride lost her job; however, she was still able to obtain a loan to complete the construction of the home. The loan was approved as a direct consequence of her credit score of 800. Living a disciplined life early on, afforded her the opportunity to obtain a beautiful home while marrying the man of her dreams. In June 2006 they became husband and wife. Both of the Prides sold the homes they had lived in as singles and the monies from both properties were applied to pay down the new home. They pray the remaining mortgage will be paid off soon. Mr. and Mrs. Pride are Crown Financial Counselors. They teach other couples and individuals how to use the word of God to become and stay debt free. There are over 2,000 scriptures in the Bible to guide individuals and families on how to handle their finances; said Mrs. Pride. Mrs. Pride had the following strategies to share on getting out of debt:
1. Tithe. It is nonnegotiable. You must tithe!
6. Payoff small debts first, than higher interest rate debts.
3. Get a copy of your credit report.
8. Consider how you can earn extra income to help pay off debt.
2. You should seek the counsel of Godly People, as well as the Lord’s help and direction. 4. Make a list of all your debts.
5. Create a debt repayment schedule.
Controlling your credit will empower you to do the things you need to do in life. When becoming involved in a serious relationship don’t be afraid to pull the credit report of your mate. Get in the habit of using a debit card instead of a credit card.
7. Stop the use of credit cards.
9. Consider a change in your lifestyle.
1. Switch to basic cable. 2. No cell phones. Use a house phone. 3. Be conservative with cooling and heating of your house or apartment. 4. Rid your diet of meat and sodas. Drink plenty of water; it’s healthy. 5. Pack your lunch for work or school. 6. Reduce what you spent on entertainment.
Always pray about spending before you make a purchase. It will allow you the opportunity to think before you purchase. Mrs. Pride leaves us with these words; learn to be content where you are in life. Never give up in your efforts to get out of debt. It may require hard work, but it’s worth it to free you to do GOD’s will in Your Life.
This interview was conducted by Rhonda Mouton. Mrs. Pride is the owner of Fierte Wedding Planning Service. Visit her website www.fierteweddings.com. w
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Marketplace
wise Walking In Spiritual Excellence
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