Page 12 Forgiveness Page 8
Overcomer Page 10
Denise Donald Page 16
You Are Beautiful Page 22
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Publisher & Editor Joanne Bell CEO Joanne Bell Account Executive Salmeilia Stewart Contributing Writers Salmeilia Stewart Roikensha Craig Terica McKennis Cover Design by James E. Roach III Cover Photo by Brian McKenny Layout Design Latasha Willis Facebook: Woman to Woman with Joanne the Magazine Website: www.JoanneSBell.com Contact us at woman2woman.joanne@ yahoo.com 601-398-6733 P.O. Box 2031 Ridgeland, MS 39158 All rights reserved. No portion of Woman to Woman with Joanne may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. The management of Woman to Woman with Joanne is not responsible for opinions expressed by its writers. Woman to Woman with Joanne maintains the unrestricted right to edit or refuse all submitted material. All advertisements are subject to approval by the publisher. The production of Woman to Woman is funded by advertising and sponsorship.
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Joanne’s Desk BY JOANNE BELL, FOUNDER
ave you ever suffered a broken heart or a crushed spirit? From experience, I can tell you it is a hard pill to swallow and if you’re not careful, it can take you down a dark and lonely road. The Word of God says in Psalms 34:18, “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a contrite or crushed spirit.” Life is funny sometimes. We think we know what we want and what makes us happy, but I will be the first to say that we have no clue what we want. We are happy one day, sad the next, joy filled one day, depressed the next, excited one day, angry the next - It goes on and on. Most of us are looking for someone else to make us happy and keep us happy. I have come to learn that my happiness is my responsibility, not someone else’s, and when we push that responsibility onto someone else, it puts an inoperable blood clot in the friendship or relationship that can only be corrected by being dissolved. The best decision that we can ever make is to learn to want what God has for us and to desire the things that He has placed in our hearts. Looking to a tangible relationship instead of seeking to have an intimate and meaningful relationship with God is the worst mistake you could ever make. If there is any advice I could give, I would say to put God first and keep Him first. Fall in love with Him and the plan He has for you. When you are on the path that God has chosen for you, everything you need will be found on that path, be it money, health, meaningful friendships and relationships and more. Psalms 34:7 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I wanted to share a small poem that I wrote at a pivotal point in my life:
No more crying, no more pain, no more fear, only love to gain. Time moves on whether you’re ready or not, best keep up so you don’t lose your spot. The race is not given to the swift nor the strong, not even to the one who does right or wrong. But to the one who endures to the very end, he’s the one you will call friend. I cast all of my cares on You, this is all I know to do. To learn to trust You when I can’t see, to know that you’re always looking out for me. That’s the kind of love I need, and I know with you I will succeed. Love is patient, love is kind, love gives you peace of mind. My hope is in You and Your will for me, thanks for opening my eyes to see, all the wonderful things in life, and for taking away the misery and strife. Wherever life goes, wherever life ends, I’ll always say thank You for calling me friend. Fall in love with God - the results are unbelievable! Love ya much!
Joanne
In This Issue Revenge vs. Forgiveness .................................................................................................................................. 8 Overcomer ................................................................................................................................................................ 10 Kimberly Strauss: Designing a Beautiful Life .............................................................................................. 12-15 Denise Donald ........................................................................................................................................................... 16 My husband said, “You are beautiful.” I said, “What? Me?” .............................................................. 22
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Revenge vs. Forgiveness BY SALMEILIA JE' STEWART
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e have all heard the saying that forgiveness is the gift we give to ourselves. In most situations, the last thing we want to do is forgive someone who may have mistreated us. However, when we hold things inside, it robs us of our joy, love and above all things, peace. For the past couple of months, God has been dealing with me about revenge and forgiveness. Lately, situations arise where I feel as if I am being taken advantage of, and of course my flesh wants to do something about it. In the past, it was normal for me to shut down when I would get upset or angry. I would just hold everything inside, and when the slightest eruption occurred in my life, I would explode like a volcano. Another way I would respond to hurt and pain was revenge. If you criticized me, I would make sure you never said anything to me again. I never believed in second chances for others, just myself. I wanted people to feel the same pain I felt, if not worse. However, over the years, God has taught me to give my problems to Him. "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge, I will repay” (Romans 12:19). God is a loving and just God. He has revealed to me countless times that my methods were not always right. Many nights, I would cry to God and say, “How could you allow this to happen?” When someone would say something that I didn't like, God would tell me to be still. At the end of the day, I would go pray and give it to Him. "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). I remember God saying, "Come to me and I will show you how to deal with hurt and pain." God wanted me to know that life would bring its portion of hurt and pain, and we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. One day, someone very close to me was so rude and mean to me. It seemed as though I couldn’t do anything without her giving some form of criticism. Immediately, my natural instinct was to say something back. However, I quickly realized this would only add fuel to an already rising flame, so I just thought it was best to give that person some space. Later that day at work, I found that same person in a corner
in tears. She was upset because she and her husband had been fighting, she had just found out that a close friend had passed away and she was late paying one of her bills. I then realized why she was so angry. In her mind, I was the one person she could attempt to control. I understood that her intense expression of criticism was a way of releasing her frustrations. I asked if I could pray for her and afterwards, she apologized for mistreating me. A month later, I saw the same woman and I was short on some cash. She said she remembered the day I prayed for her and wanted to give me a gift. She reached in her pocket, gave me $50 and told me my prayers worked. She and her husband are currently seeking counseling and she just recently got a new job. Now, I could have resorted back to my old habits and risked damaging a relationship. I could have also prevented someone else from getting blessed as well as myself. God showed me in this case that He had already worked it out and all things will work together for my good if I allow Him to work. I truly believe God wants us to walk in love and truth. It's always best that we put Him first in every decision we make. I do believe that God wants us to confront every issue under wisdom and guidance. You don't have to be confrontational in order to address an issue. The Word says that the truth will set you free. There was another time when a family member promised to pay something back and simply didn't. Initially, I was upset because this person had done it before but I didn't say anything. This time I really needed the money, not just based on principle but I needed to use it. I noticed that this family member would avoid me every time I came around. This only caused more frustration and anger on my part. It was robbing us both of our peace. One day, I felt led to give her a call. I reminded her that she made a promise to me and that she has not only put herself in a financial bind, but now I am in one, so she told me that she had just gotten paid and that she would come by. She mentioned that she just didn't know how to tell me that she didn't have it. I told her that if she would have told me, I could have not only worked out an arrangement on her behalf, but I could have done it for myself. God allowed me to see in this case that allowing anger
and pride on both of our behalf cost us money, time and peace. If I hadn't addressed the issue, it would have continued to go unresolved. There was another lesson God revealed to me about forgiveness. There was this guy I thought I would never be able to get over. It was a repeated cycle of break up to make up. I had every desire to leave, but I could never find the strength no matter how many times I allowed him to break my heart. Finally, I prayed to God and asked him to help me see the truth of our relationship. I made a decision that the next time he called, I wouldn’t answer. It was hard, but with each day, it got easier. Finally, God started revealing the truth to me, and my sadness found a way to manifest itself into anger and frustration. I was mad at him but more at myself for a very long time. I felt like a fool and vowed to never allow another man to break my heart again. Initially, I wanted him to pay for what he did and longed for the day he would want me back. That day of redemption came. He wanted me back and I made it clear to him in all the coolest and cruelest ways that I was doing so much better without him. When I went to bed that night, God was like, “Are you happy? You’re still alone, and holding on to what he did to you has only prevented you from loving anybody.” I was left speechless. I thought I was helping myself, but I was only hurting myself. Today, I am allowing God to heal my broken heart so that I can be a good receiver of love. I'm learning to forgive so I can receive forgiveness. It is so important to forgive because it gives you the gift of tomorrow. When we continue to walk in a lack of forgiveness, it only holds us hostage to the past. When life brings us pain, heartaches and discomfort, it always serves a purpose. Many times, we may not understand, but in time we will heal. Forgiveness is a gift because it’s what keeps us going when life is trying to bring us down. If a loving God can forgive me for the foolish things I’ve done, then it's only right I do likewise. Let us always remember to put God first in everything, including our problems. May He continue to give us wisdom and help us to use good judgment when crises arise. May we always choose to use the power within to change the things around us.
About the Author: Salmeilia is the mother of an eight-year-old son named Jaden and currently resides in Jackson, MS. She is an actress, writer and comedienne. She works for Phoenix Rising Entertainment. When she is not working, she enjoys taking pictures and having a great cup of coffee. You may follow Salmeilia on Instagram @Salmeilia and Facebook @Salmeilia Je'.
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OVERCOMER OVERCOMER OVERCOMER BY TEE FITZ
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hat do you do? We all have them, right? Cares, concerns, puzzles…whether small or large, we all have them, but what matters most is how we choose to handle the cares of everyday life. Just because your cares are heavier than you would like doesn’t mean we have to allow it to bring us down. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your cares upon Jesus because He cares for you (emphasis added)” Game plan I encourage you to put on the whole armor of God (your war clothes) and prepare to overcome this season of life. You were not created to lose. Therefore, you should be winning. This means that no matter what comes your way, you should always be prepared to fight in battle. Since you are not physically laying hands on anyone, and having to use your mouth to fight this battle, you should have a game plan in place. The game plan is your willingness to want to win and not give
up. Your game plan should consist of you opening your mouth and boldly confessing the following: God is for me, He is not against me. God has made me the head and not the tail. I am above only and never beneath. Greater is He that is living on the inside of me that he that is in the world. Greater is coming toward me and my family. Speak to whatever you are currently facing and be reminded that you will get through the tough seasons of life. Rejoice while waiting During this phase, it’s important that you hold tight to the promises of God as these promises will strengthen your faith and help you build stronger faith muscles. Let it be said about you that you are strong in your faith, not weak and feeble. You are mighty in battle and you cannot be defeated. Return to thank God often for your victory over this battle you currently face. Keep praises on your lips at all
times. Refuse to speak negatively toward your situation. Remain confident that God will see you through. If you have any negative people in your life, it would be wise not to share your game plan with them as they may contaminate your faith. Victory is yours Manifestation is here! Victory is yours, and you will win! Make a note when you win. Write it down and refer to it often whenever you find yourself struggling with future tests of life. It’s about you staying anchored in your faith and not allowing the enemy to take you under with his tormenting thoughts regarding you and your life. Remember that as long as you are fighting, you are winning. If you ever start believing any negative thoughts and you decide to stop fighting, you will lose by default! Live with purpose and on purpose! You are strong! You can get through any battle! Do not give up, and do not quit! Stay the course until you see manifestation.
About the Author: Tee Fitz AKA Fitnezzgirl lives in Yuba City, California with her husband King Willie McKennis and her training camp (Talitha, 11 and Willie, Jr., 9). She is a personal trainer both online and in person at FitnezzGirl. She is a Youth Pastor with her husband, and Executive Assistant at Church Alive. She can be reached at Tee Fitz via Facebook, @iamfitnezzgirl via Instagram and at www.fitnezzgirl.wordpress.com.
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Kimberly Strauss:
Designing a Beautiful Life
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t is indeed an honor to be featured in the July issue of Woman to Woman with Joanne: The Magazine. My name is Kimberly Strauss and I am the owner of Belle Vie Designs, a full-service interior design company (www.belleviebydesign.com). A beautiful life begins with beautiful designs and was the inspiration for the name Belle Vie which is French for “beautiful life.” I specialize in creating warm, inviting and sophisticated interior spaces. My team and I work closely with clients to create a decor that reflects their individual personality and lifestyle. I am also an eclectic designer - I have a passion for mixing modern and vintage styles while personally searching for unique pieces, and offer faux finishing that will breathe new life into clients’ living, retail/commercial and new construction spaces. My personal touches along with my client’s vision help to create that wow factor that garners beauty on any budget. Belle Vie is always respectful of family time, so our team manages pre-planned timelines that allow for client adjustment and flexibility as needs arise. My design business has continued to flourish from a small at-home business to Belle Vie Design, LLC. I have recently added the new Posh Bump Maternity Boutique located in Ridgeland, Miss. to my list of retail design experience. Belle Vie Design also partners exclusively with SD Affairs (www.sdaffairs.com), where I am the senior event planner. A beautiful life represents being your own kind of beautiful, so I offer fashion consulting and personal shopping. I am an advocate for living a healthy and fit lifestyle. I am an independent brand partner in an anti-aging skincare company called Nerium International. I passionately identify with the company’s motto of making people better! I joined Dr. Edelia Jay Carthan’s Fabulous Life
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Class as a motivational speaker, a program where we empower adults and teenagers. A beautiful life doesn’t just happen - it is built daily by prayer, humility, sacrifice and hard work. I have learned through life’s lessons not to cry over the past since it is gone, and not to stress over the future since it hasn't arrived. In my younger days, also known as "my old life," it was filled with fear, worry and tears. Had I not experienced those dark moments, I wouldn’t be able to recognize the beauty that I see and feel today. As a survivor of child molestation at seven years old, I suppressed the act and didn't tell anyone about the abuse because my abuser told me that it was our secret and I was his favorite. This type of manipulation worked with me as I wanted to feel important, special and loved. I felt so confused as a child because I was not sure if that was an expression of love. It was too much for a little girl to handle, and I blocked it from my memory. In fact, I developed the ability to block anything that would be hurtful in the coming years. However, I was living life
without really feeling or dealing with the hurt, and never understood how to process it. I just totally avoided hurtful situations. Keeping your emotions locked up inside is like living life in a glass window - you can see everything happening all around you, but you are sealed off from feeling it on the inside. As I got older, I continued to live what appeared to be a happy and normal life. I was very popular in high school, achieved academic honors, and participated in many clubs and organizations. I loved dancing and performing as a majorette in the band. I never carried anger, bitterness or the ability to forgive and was kind to everyone. I attended college where I earned a degree in fashion merchandising from Duff ’s Business and Art Institute in Pittsburgh, PA. I moved to California and got married to a successful businessman in 1990. Where most young couples enter marriage with a hope chest, we entered with a large amount of baggage. I was not equipped with the right tools to unpack it correctly, which resulted in years of hiding my true self from those who knew me best. I did this to preserve an image of what outsiders saw as "the perfect life." After having two children, I became a designer of dreams for my family in an effort to keep everyone happy. I loved being a wife and a mother. I felt blessed and that it was my true purpose in life. After years of living a "perfect" existence, I attended a funeral and memories began to resurface of my past abuse. It was as if a television screen was turned on, and I could see and feel the hurtful memories that I had long ago blocked away. I cried for weeks as the memories somehow became my reality. It caused me to become distant emotionally from my husband and shook my "perfect" world. I was living a lie. I was not happy and in no way was my life perfect. This awakening made me painfully aware of everything I tried to suppress. We attempted several years of counseling (Continued, page 14)
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(Continued from page 13)
but to no avail, and we eventually decided to divorce. After two decades and two beautiful children, my "perfect life" as I knew it was over. My incredible journey to rebuild began when I heard God say, "In order to be a great designer, you must start by redesigning yourself." God then placed a wise spiritual woman, Mrs. Polly Smith, in my life. Polly asked if she could pray over me after workout class, and I immediately accepted. Polly said she felt the Holy Spirit telling her I was in need of prayer. We developed a great friendship. She taught me how to pray and how to speak life on my life to harness God's power and strength through His word. She taught me the power of praying God's Word. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20 NIV). As I continued to redesign my life, I also learned that for things to change, you have to change, and if I wanted to be lifted, I had to help lift others. I submerged myself in the Word - that's where strength and power comes from for healing, restoration and a new beginning. This is my daily affirmation that I spoke believing that it would come to pass: I am the daughter of the King, who is not moved by the world. For my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear, because I am His. I had to recognize that I had to take responsibility for my spirit and make a decision to do just that. I asked to be filled with the spirit of
God to guide and strengthen me to walk with wisdom in the face of trouble so that I would develop a strong spirit in His word. At age 49, I have found that how much you make, how many degrees you have, how big your house is or how fancy your car is does not mean true happiness. Happiness is finding His peace and joy and calmness in your life. I learned to love what really mattered to me; the things that are of God are quality and not just about quantity. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). No matter what point you are in your life, it is never too late to build your dreams! Nothing is impossible for the One who called you and promises to do the journey with you. It is in times of hardship we discover that the strength of our spirit and the health of our soul comes from God. I learned through the Word that there was no way to fail with God leading me! I put Him first in all decisions of my new life. I let him design a beautiful life for me. He would be my foundation. I would in turn help others through my story! God said, “Don’t be ashamed of your story - it will inspire others to trust me.” God has a plan and He always gives you what you need. “He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]”
(Hebrews 13:5 AMP)! “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ;in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:6 NIV). I chose to trust His unfailing Love to carry me through, and He did! As the saying goes, "Choices, not circumstances, determine your success." On October 10, 2015, I married my soulmate Wendell D. Strauss at the historical Fairview Inn in Jackson, Miss. Wendell is a godly man who loves me like Jesus loves the church. We are both members of the Word of Life Church which is led by Pastor Joel Sims. There, we receive God's Word, which serves as the foundation for our home. God blessed me with two amazing children with whom I continue to learn and grow as a confident and strong mother, even as I experience their transition into adulthood. I feel empowered as I have raised a son, Tyler, who is 21 and attends Mississippi College, and a daughter, Savannah, who is 16 and attends Clinton High School. I pray they continue to place God first, and that my life is an example of His unconditional and unfailing love for us all. It is said that your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. God has designed a beautiful purpose for my life, and through that purpose He will bring glory to Himself. The same is true for you. God can design a beautiful life - Belle Vie! Trust in Him!
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Denise Donald
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y name is Denise Donald. I am the owner of Pink Leopard, Inc., which I established in 2013, and under this corporation, I own and operate www.mypinkleopard.com, a ladies’ fashion boutique, and www.myorangeleopard.com, a lifestyle blog. I enjoy being a mommy to my son, Matthew! Matthew is the best son in the entire world. I love him so much (I kind of believe that I love him too much, if that’s possible)! I also enjoy reading, traveling, assisting others in their ventures and expanding the Pink Leopard brand. Since childhood, I’ve always wanted to own a store. Today, my online boutique serves as my store. I don’t focus on being a “small business owner” - my focus is on building a worldwide brand. Because my focus is worldwide, being
in Mississippi as a woman in business has not been a challenge. I believe anything is possible as long as you believe and put in the work to achieve! Sometimes I get asked why I would want an online boutique when there are so many online boutiques already. I remind them that there are so many stores in the mall, and people still go shop at the store they desire. Sometimes people don’t understand your vision, but as long as you know that you know that you know what your vision is, then pray and trust God to direct your path to success. I understand that it is impossible to build a worldwide brand without the help of others, so I constantly ask God to sharpen my spirit of discernment. My biggest problem has been putting others and their ventures first and
placing my own on the back burner. I’ve done that for so many years that it had become natural to just stop what I was doing to help someone else. Toward the end of 2015, I felt it was time to focus on building my brand and start discerning when it was appropriate for me to stop and help others. Once I made that decision, 2016 has been amazing. Of course it wouldn’t be amazing without God and my two mentors. I have the best mentors in the world. Both of them are very successful and rank at the top in their fields. I love them both (yes, I said I love them both, because I do)! Oh, I also enjoy helping people dress so they don’t look a mess! To preorder and download my new book, “How to Dress So You Don’t Look a Mess,” go to bit.ly/dressnice.
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Mr. D’s Food Palace 105 E. Georgetown St. Crystal Springs, MS 39059 601-892-8992 Monday – Friday 11am – 9pm Saturday – 7am – 10pm Breakfast Buffet
Darren Powell Owner
Sunday 11am – 3pm Lunch and Dinner
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THE
M
LIFE
My husband said, “You are beautiful.” I said, “What? Me?”
T
he other day, while sitting in my favorite chair and resting my feet on the ottoman, my husband said, “Have I told you that you are beautiful today?” Of course, I smiled and my insides melted! However, in the back of my head, I was like, “Really? Me?” As I sat with my satin scarf covering my hair, eyeglasses on and typing on my laptop while reading my iPad Pro simultaneously, I thought to myself, “I am not feeling beautiful right now.” I asked my husband, “why am I beautiful to you?” To my surprise, I learned so much and it has given me a new perspective in managing all of the many roles and responsibilities we mothers and wives have to fulfill on a daily basis. My husband went on to explain that it was more than looks. He explained further the many facets of my personality, the way I nurture and groom our children, the way I nurture and care for him, my morals, my
beliefs, and dedication to my career, humor and intellect. Well, to be honest, I added intellect, but you get the picture! LOL! So many times, I feel like there is no way I can possibly juggle one more task: cleaning the house, twisting hair, selecting/matching outfits, compiling reports, disciplining the girls, supporting my husband…I feel inadequate, stretched thin and not sure if I am leaving something undone in the process. I do not feel beautiful. I feel frazzled! The beauty in my husband explaining to me the real meaning of being beautiful helped me to see it was not the outward appearance of being a mom and wife, but how I interacted as a mom, how I encouraged him as a wife, how I present myself to my daughters in the midst of being upset or calm on a daily basis, how I manage to juggle my responsibilities and “surprise” responsibilities on high and low energy days, and how I give
BY ROIKENSHA CRAIG
of myself as a mom and wife at times when I feel I have nothing to give. As women, wives and mothers, these are the moments, times and actions that make us beautiful: how we love and treat our children, how we respect our husbands, how we honor and protect our responsibilities of being a wife or mother - this makes us beautiful. With this in mind, I am touched beyond measure that my husband does not view me as an “ugly” wife and mom! On days you have to change your blouse right before walking out of door because of baby spit-up, or when you have to redirect your toddler for the fifth time in a row, or when you are awake and listening but really asleep, remember to be beautiful! And keep being beautiful moms! Keep being beautiful wives! Because that is exactly what we are… beautiful! Until next time, remember to love yourself!
About the Author: Roikensha lives in Washington, DC with her husband, Keith, and her two daughters, McKenzie Brook (2 years) and Madison Grace (12 months). She is discovering her roles as a career mom and wife, as she is the Exeutive Director of YMCA Head Start in Central Maryland in Baltimore City. You can follow Roikensha on Twitter @TheMLife1, Instagram – themlife2015, and through her website – www.themlife.org.
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“Love the people, Cook them great food”
We provide Full Catering, Meal Preps for the health conscious and Personal Chef services. We meet everyone’s needs and budget. No job is too small. Contact for more information: 601-540-0518 Chefpourbankitchen12@icloud.com
Quatrisa Irving, Optometrist 1200 E. County Line Road (601) 957-6078 Northpark Mall (601) 957-6924 [fax] Ridgeland, MS 39157 irvingeyecare@yahoo.com
Hours of Operation: Monday - Saturday: 9:00am-6:00pm Sunday: 12:00pm-4:00pm
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PK’s Styling Salon PRISCILLA KENDRICK Stylist & Owner
P.O. Box 708 119 E. Cunningham Ave. Terry, MS 39170 (601) 878-5121 Appointments and Walk-ins
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Woman to Woman with Joanne: The Magazine is searching for three energetic and outgoing sales people. Please contact 601-398-6733 or email woman2woman.joanne@yahoo.com for more information.
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